1 00:00:54,900 --> 00:00:57,355 Last orders, please. 2 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:06,275 - Shaun. - Yeah? 3 00:01:06,327 --> 00:01:09,660 - Do you see what I'm saying? - Yeah, totally. 4 00:01:10,831 --> 00:01:13,701 I know he's your best friend but you do live with him. 5 00:01:13,751 --> 00:01:15,293 I know... 6 00:01:15,336 --> 00:01:19,084 It's not that I don't like Ed. Ed, it's not that I don't like you. 7 00:01:19,131 --> 00:01:21,586 It's all right. 8 00:01:21,634 --> 00:01:25,002 - It'd just be nice if we could... - Fuck. 9 00:01:25,054 --> 00:01:28,304 -..spend a bit more time together. - Bollocks. 10 00:01:28,348 --> 00:01:30,506 - Just the two of us. - Cock it. 11 00:01:30,559 --> 00:01:34,058 With Ed here, it's no wonder I always bring my flatmates out 12 00:01:34,104 --> 00:01:36,310 and that only exacerbates things. 13 00:01:36,356 --> 00:01:40,519 - What do you mean? - You guys hardly get on, do you? 14 00:01:40,568 --> 00:01:42,607 No, what does "exacerbate" mean? 15 00:01:42,654 --> 00:01:44,776 It means to make things worse. 16 00:01:44,823 --> 00:01:46,898 Right, right. 17 00:01:46,950 --> 00:01:50,781 Well, I mean, it's not that I don't like David and Di, you know. 18 00:01:50,828 --> 00:01:54,576 - Guys, it's not that I don't like you. - It's all right. 19 00:01:54,624 --> 00:01:56,865 And I do want to spend time with you. 20 00:01:56,917 --> 00:02:00,001 It's just Ed doesn't have too many friends. 21 00:02:00,046 --> 00:02:03,580 Can I get any of you cunts a drink? 22 00:02:05,551 --> 00:02:07,626 Anybody? 23 00:02:07,678 --> 00:02:10,133 No, thank you. 24 00:02:10,180 --> 00:02:12,505 I know... 25 00:02:12,558 --> 00:02:14,764 friends are important to Shaun 26 00:02:14,810 --> 00:02:17,976 but you must set some quality time aside for yourselves. 27 00:02:18,021 --> 00:02:21,472 Daffs is always taking me to see these listed buildings 28 00:02:21,525 --> 00:02:24,062 and I'm always dragging him to the theatre. 29 00:02:24,110 --> 00:02:27,110 - I'm not so hot on theatre. - How about a meal? 30 00:02:27,155 --> 00:02:30,274 - It's your anniversary soon. - It was last week. 31 00:02:30,325 --> 00:02:33,242 - Did you do anything special? - We came here. 32 00:02:33,286 --> 00:02:35,527 Shaun. Hog lumps. 33 00:02:35,580 --> 00:02:39,114 Shaun, what I'm trying to say is I need something more, 34 00:02:39,166 --> 00:02:42,830 more than spending every night in the Winchester. 35 00:02:42,878 --> 00:02:45,203 I want to do more interesting stuff. 36 00:02:45,256 --> 00:02:49,668 I want you to want to want to do it. 37 00:02:49,718 --> 00:02:52,968 Listen to me. I'm beginning to sound like your mum. 38 00:02:53,013 --> 00:02:55,883 - Not that I'd know. - You haven't met his mum? 39 00:02:55,933 --> 00:02:58,886 - Not yet. - Don't you get along with your mum? 40 00:02:58,935 --> 00:03:02,553 - It's not her... - Are you ashamed by your mum, Shaun? 41 00:03:02,606 --> 00:03:04,931 - No, I love my mum. - I love his mum. 42 00:03:04,983 --> 00:03:07,308 - * She's like butter * - Ed! 43 00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:09,601 - Shaun! - Liz. 44 00:03:09,654 --> 00:03:12,857 I understand what you're trying to say and I agree. 45 00:03:12,907 --> 00:03:15,528 We should get out there. We'll start tomorrow. 46 00:03:15,577 --> 00:03:18,992 I'll book a restaurant. The place that does all the fish. 47 00:03:19,038 --> 00:03:20,995 Just the two of us. 48 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:24,040 Things will change. I promise. 49 00:03:24,085 --> 00:03:25,958 Really, Shaun? 50 00:03:28,172 --> 00:03:30,129 Time, gentlemen. 51 00:03:30,174 --> 00:03:33,957 - * This town is coming like a ghost town * - Shaun? 52 00:04:40,867 --> 00:04:43,274 'Player two has entered the game.' 53 00:04:43,328 --> 00:04:45,616 Haven't you got work? 54 00:04:45,663 --> 00:04:48,450 'Player two has left the game.' 55 00:05:00,970 --> 00:05:03,721 The front door was open again last night. 56 00:05:06,433 --> 00:05:09,006 - I'm not saying it was you. - I know, man. 57 00:05:09,770 --> 00:05:12,854 - I'm saying it was Ed. - Right. 58 00:05:12,898 --> 00:05:14,973 I can't live like this. 59 00:05:15,025 --> 00:05:18,939 Look at the state of it. We're not students any more. 60 00:05:18,987 --> 00:05:22,023 - Pete... - He brings no money into the house. 61 00:05:22,073 --> 00:05:25,026 - He brings a bit. - What? Dealing drugs? 62 00:05:25,076 --> 00:05:28,326 He sells a bit of weed now and again. You've sold puff. 63 00:05:28,371 --> 00:05:31,241 Yeah, once. At college. To you. 64 00:05:31,290 --> 00:05:36,200 I've known him since primary school. I like having him around, he's a laugh. 65 00:05:36,254 --> 00:05:38,923 Because he can impersonate an orang-utan? 66 00:05:38,964 --> 00:05:41,715 - Fuck-a-doodle-doo. - Leave him alone. 67 00:05:41,759 --> 00:05:44,759 I admit, he can be pretty funny on occasion. 68 00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:49,548 Like that time we stayed up all night drinking apple schnapps and playing Tekken 2. 69 00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:53,513 - When was that? - Five years ago. 70 00:05:53,562 --> 00:05:55,803 When's he going home? 71 00:05:57,482 --> 00:05:59,521 Hey, man, listen... Top left. 72 00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:02,189 - Uh-huh. - I was gonna say... Reload. 73 00:06:02,237 --> 00:06:05,522 - I'm on it. - Erm, since... Nice shot! 74 00:06:05,573 --> 00:06:07,648 Thanks. 75 00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:10,570 Two seconds. 76 00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:13,110 - All right, Noodle? - 'Got anything?' 77 00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:15,536 - No, man. - 'Eball says you was holding.' 78 00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:18,038 - I ain't got nothing. - 'Nothing at all?' 79 00:06:18,085 --> 00:06:21,619 I've only got an 'enry meself. All right, laters. 80 00:06:23,591 --> 00:06:25,666 - Listen... - Ed... 81 00:06:25,718 --> 00:06:30,344 since you're not working at the moment could you please clean up a bit? 82 00:06:30,389 --> 00:06:34,433 And if you play the answer machine, can you take down everyone's messages? 83 00:06:34,476 --> 00:06:36,764 - Yep. - It's not that taxing, is it? 84 00:06:36,812 --> 00:06:39,931 Writing something on a scrap of paper? 85 00:06:39,981 --> 00:06:42,269 - Nope. - Right. 86 00:06:42,317 --> 00:06:47,109 Dom, hi... 87 00:06:47,155 --> 00:06:49,480 Come on, it was pretty funny. 88 00:06:49,532 --> 00:06:53,232 - Will you do what he said? - I ain't doing nothing for him. 89 00:06:53,286 --> 00:06:55,361 Do it for me, then. 90 00:06:56,789 --> 00:06:59,196 I'm sorry, Shaun. 91 00:06:59,250 --> 00:07:01,538 - It's all right. - No, no. 92 00:07:01,586 --> 00:07:03,708 I'm sorry, Shaun. 93 00:07:06,632 --> 00:07:07,830 Oh! 94 00:07:07,883 --> 00:07:10,089 Oh, my God, that's rotten. 95 00:07:10,136 --> 00:07:13,754 - I'll stop doing 'em when you stop laughing. - I am not laughing. 96 00:07:13,806 --> 00:07:15,715 - Get that. - You get it. 97 00:07:18,268 --> 00:07:21,932 'Shaun, it's me. I'm gonna be a bit tied up today 98 00:07:21,980 --> 00:07:25,183 'so can you book the table for eight rather than seven? 99 00:07:25,233 --> 00:07:27,355 'I'll try you at work. Bye, bye.' 100 00:07:30,113 --> 00:07:32,686 Hey! You're dead. 101 00:07:41,416 --> 00:07:44,582 - Spare some change, please, mister? - Yeah. 102 00:07:46,295 --> 00:07:49,295 Watch out. Are you blind? 103 00:08:00,434 --> 00:08:03,719 'The American deep space probe Omega 6 104 00:08:03,770 --> 00:08:07,981 'unexpectedly re-entered Earth's atmosphere over England 105 00:08:08,025 --> 00:08:10,100 'and broke apart over...' 106 00:08:26,334 --> 00:08:28,373 Nelson? 107 00:08:30,171 --> 00:08:31,415 Nelson? 108 00:08:34,300 --> 00:08:36,422 Hello, my friend. No beer today? 109 00:08:36,469 --> 00:08:38,675 No, it's a bit early for me. 110 00:08:49,940 --> 00:08:53,604 Gather round, everyone. Gather round, please. 111 00:08:53,693 --> 00:08:56,320 Gather round. 112 00:08:56,321 --> 00:08:58,894 As well as Mr Sloman being off today 113 00:08:58,949 --> 00:09:01,866 I'm afraid Ash is feeling a little bit under the weather, 114 00:09:01,910 --> 00:09:04,365 so I will be taking charge as the... 115 00:09:04,412 --> 00:09:07,412 - Oldest. - Senior staff member. 116 00:09:07,457 --> 00:09:10,576 So if we can all pull together... 117 00:09:11,753 --> 00:09:14,125 - Hello? Hello, mate. - Noel? 118 00:09:14,172 --> 00:09:16,923 I was totally munted last night. 119 00:09:16,966 --> 00:09:20,132 Yeah, I spoke to him. He's only got Henry. 120 00:09:21,846 --> 00:09:23,921 All right, mate. Laters. 121 00:09:32,481 --> 00:09:34,936 - Continue. - Thank you. 122 00:09:34,983 --> 00:09:40,736 Erm, as Mr Sloman always says, there's no I in team but there is an I in pie. 123 00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:43,187 In... There's an I in meat pie. 124 00:09:43,241 --> 00:09:46,905 The anagram of meat is team... I don't know what he's talking about. 125 00:09:46,953 --> 00:09:49,325 Phones off. It's not a social gathering. 126 00:09:49,372 --> 00:09:54,164 - All right, keep your hair on, grandad. - Hey! I'm 29 for Christ's sakes. 127 00:09:54,210 --> 00:09:56,747 - How old are you? 20? 21? - 17. 128 00:09:56,796 --> 00:09:59,084 Hey, well... 129 00:09:59,131 --> 00:10:04,088 I know you don't wanna be here forever. I got things I wanna do with my life. 130 00:10:04,136 --> 00:10:06,709 When? 131 00:10:06,764 --> 00:10:09,089 You got red on you. 132 00:10:11,352 --> 00:10:13,510 Hello, mate. 133 00:10:13,562 --> 00:10:16,681 This one comes with a basic digital package. 134 00:10:16,732 --> 00:10:20,943 You've got your lifestyle channels there, a bit of Trisha. 135 00:10:20,986 --> 00:10:24,817 Er, you've got entertainment. I don't know what that is. 136 00:10:24,865 --> 00:10:28,529 News. All the basic, er...news... 137 00:10:28,576 --> 00:10:31,031 - channels. - 'bizarre events...' 138 00:10:31,079 --> 00:10:33,996 'Coming after me...' 139 00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:36,613 - Shaun. - I'm with customers. 140 00:10:36,668 --> 00:10:38,541 It's your dad. 141 00:10:38,586 --> 00:10:40,874 He's not my dad, 142 00:10:40,922 --> 00:10:43,080 he's my stepdad. 143 00:10:46,260 --> 00:10:48,335 Philip. 144 00:10:50,055 --> 00:10:51,383 Shaun. 145 00:10:53,142 --> 00:10:55,679 You haven't forgotten about tomorrow? 146 00:10:55,728 --> 00:10:58,894 - No. - Your bimonthly visit. 147 00:10:58,939 --> 00:11:00,978 No, I haven't forgotten. 148 00:11:01,024 --> 00:11:03,728 You could bring the flowers you forgot on Mother's Day. 149 00:11:03,777 --> 00:11:05,816 I was gonna. 150 00:11:05,862 --> 00:11:08,435 And not a cheap posy from a garage forecourt. 151 00:11:08,490 --> 00:11:10,945 I wasn't gonna. 152 00:11:12,702 --> 00:11:15,619 Well, we look forward to seeing you tomorrow. 153 00:11:15,663 --> 00:11:17,322 OK. 154 00:11:17,373 --> 00:11:19,448 You've got red on you. 155 00:11:26,674 --> 00:11:30,173 - I thought it wasn't a social gathering? - What? 156 00:11:30,219 --> 00:11:33,136 How comes you're allowed to speak to your dad? 157 00:11:33,180 --> 00:11:36,430 A, he's not my dad, OK? He's my stepdad. 158 00:11:36,475 --> 00:11:39,345 And B, it was an emergency. 159 00:11:39,395 --> 00:11:42,977 What, like buying your mum some flowers? 160 00:11:43,023 --> 00:11:48,361 Noel, I do not find it difficult to keep my work and my social life separate. 161 00:11:48,403 --> 00:11:50,976 Shaun, it's Liz for you. 162 00:11:53,742 --> 00:11:56,149 - Hello. - 'Hello, it's me.' 163 00:11:56,202 --> 00:11:58,490 - Hello. - 'Did you get my message?' 164 00:11:58,538 --> 00:12:01,111 - Yep. - 'So it's all OK, then?' 165 00:12:01,166 --> 00:12:04,332 - Yep. - 'Eight at the place with all the fish? 166 00:12:04,377 --> 00:12:07,081 'Cool, that's great. Just ring me later.' 167 00:12:07,130 --> 00:12:11,376 - Goodbye, Liz. - 'Bye. Bye, bye, bye.' 168 00:12:11,425 --> 00:12:14,793 Liz from Head Office. It's nothing to panic about. 169 00:12:18,849 --> 00:12:21,422 Sir? Sir? 170 00:12:21,727 --> 00:12:24,134 Sorry. Erm, they're for my mum. 171 00:12:24,188 --> 00:12:29,774 Mum. "To a wonderful Mum" or "Supermum"? 172 00:12:29,818 --> 00:12:32,688 - Er...the first one. - Right. 173 00:12:49,420 --> 00:12:53,713 '.. London seems to have gone completely bonkers...' 174 00:13:17,322 --> 00:13:20,192 - Oh, my God! Shaun! - Yvonne. 175 00:13:20,242 --> 00:13:23,278 Oooh! How are you doing? 176 00:13:23,328 --> 00:13:25,735 - Surviving. - Are you living round here? 177 00:13:25,789 --> 00:13:28,955 - Yeah, are you? - Yeah, I just bought a place. 178 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:32,166 - Bought? - I know, bit grown-up, eh? 179 00:13:32,211 --> 00:13:34,618 - Are you still with...? - Liz. 180 00:13:34,672 --> 00:13:39,084 That's great. Glad somebody made it. How long's that been now? 181 00:13:39,135 --> 00:13:43,595 - Er, it's three years ago last week. - Did you do anything special? 182 00:13:43,639 --> 00:13:46,639 - We're going out for a meal tonight. - Anywhere nice? 183 00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:50,635 Yeah... 184 00:13:54,274 --> 00:13:56,847 Come on! 185 00:13:59,946 --> 00:14:02,567 - Are you gonna thank me, then? - For what? 186 00:14:02,616 --> 00:14:04,573 Tidying up. 187 00:14:04,618 --> 00:14:07,821 - It doesn't look tidy. - I had a few beers when I finished. 188 00:14:07,871 --> 00:14:10,408 'Hello, Fulci's. Can you hold, please?' 189 00:14:10,457 --> 00:14:12,912 - Do you want your messages? - What? 190 00:14:12,959 --> 00:14:15,284 Your mum rang about tomorrow night. 191 00:14:15,336 --> 00:14:18,289 Liz rang about the two of you eating out tonight. 192 00:14:18,339 --> 00:14:22,288 Then your mum rang back to see if I wanted to eat her out tonight. 193 00:14:22,343 --> 00:14:25,676 - 'Hello, Fulci's.' - Hi, I know it's short notice 194 00:14:25,721 --> 00:14:30,216 but could you possibly do me a table for two for tonight at about eight? 195 00:14:30,267 --> 00:14:33,184 'Sorry, we just gave away the last table.' 196 00:14:37,524 --> 00:14:39,516 Wasn't true about your mum. 197 00:14:39,568 --> 00:14:41,192 Where are we gonna go? 198 00:14:41,236 --> 00:14:44,272 - The Winchester. - Don't be stupid! They don't do food. 199 00:14:44,322 --> 00:14:47,655 - There's a Breville out back. - Ed, this is serious! 200 00:14:47,701 --> 00:14:49,658 Hello. 201 00:14:49,703 --> 00:14:51,778 - 'Hello, it's me.' - Hello. 202 00:14:51,830 --> 00:14:53,787 'What's the plan, then?' 203 00:14:53,832 --> 00:14:58,327 Erm, there's been a bit of a... a mix-up with the table, babe. 204 00:14:58,378 --> 00:15:01,877 - 'What do you mean?' - They're full up. 205 00:15:01,923 --> 00:15:04,674 'But...I thought you said it was all OK?' 206 00:15:04,717 --> 00:15:06,590 Yeah. 207 00:15:06,636 --> 00:15:09,257 'You didn't book it, did you, Shaun?' 208 00:15:09,305 --> 00:15:12,508 - No. - 'So...what is the plan, then?' 209 00:15:17,271 --> 00:15:19,892 The Winchester? 210 00:15:24,069 --> 00:15:26,690 - 'Hello?' - Dianne, can you let me in? 211 00:15:26,738 --> 00:15:29,691 - 'I'm not sure, Shaun.' - Oh, come on. 212 00:15:29,741 --> 00:15:32,410 'Lizzie doesn't want to see you.' 213 00:15:32,452 --> 00:15:36,401 - Just open the door! - 'She doesn't want to see you.' 214 00:15:36,456 --> 00:15:41,532 Do you want me to climb up the wall, come through the window? Because I will. 215 00:15:41,586 --> 00:15:43,578 'You're not coming in.' 216 00:15:43,630 --> 00:15:46,085 - OK, see you in a minute. - 'Don't...' 217 00:15:57,852 --> 00:15:59,761 'Hi, it's me again.' 218 00:15:59,853 --> 00:16:02,480 Can we just talk about this? Let's go out. 219 00:16:02,481 --> 00:16:05,054 - To the Winchester? - Do you want to? 220 00:16:05,317 --> 00:16:08,104 - No, I don't fucking want to! - OK. 221 00:16:08,153 --> 00:16:10,394 It's not the only place in the world. 222 00:16:10,447 --> 00:16:13,566 We'll go to the Shepherd's, they do Thai in there. 223 00:16:13,617 --> 00:16:16,534 - I'm going out with David and Di. - Let's go together. 224 00:16:16,578 --> 00:16:20,112 You hang out with my friends? "A failed actress and a twat"? 225 00:16:20,165 --> 00:16:23,829 That's harsh. I did not call Dianne a failed actress. 226 00:16:24,544 --> 00:16:28,541 Let's just go somewhere and have a laugh. Things'll be fine, I promise. 227 00:16:28,589 --> 00:16:30,581 You promised you'd stop smoking. 228 00:16:30,633 --> 00:16:33,966 You promised you'd try drinking red wine instead of beer! 229 00:16:34,011 --> 00:16:37,510 - You promised we'd go on holiday. - We went to Greece! 230 00:16:37,556 --> 00:16:39,963 - We met in Greece. - At a rave. 231 00:16:40,017 --> 00:16:43,017 It's not the same. You promised things would change. 232 00:16:43,062 --> 00:16:46,513 - You promised us free cable. - I'm working on that. 233 00:16:46,565 --> 00:16:51,025 I can give up smoking whenever I want. See, don't need them. 234 00:16:51,069 --> 00:16:53,026 W-What was the next one? 235 00:16:53,071 --> 00:16:55,561 It's not enough, Shaun. 236 00:16:55,615 --> 00:17:00,407 'We appear to have a breakdown in communication there. 237 00:17:00,453 --> 00:17:03,157 'lf you or someone you know may...' 238 00:17:03,206 --> 00:17:05,779 I'd say your nine lives were up, Shaun. 239 00:17:05,834 --> 00:17:07,707 Get fucked, four-eyes! 240 00:17:07,752 --> 00:17:10,373 You go out with her, you love her so much. 241 00:17:10,421 --> 00:17:12,543 What do you mean by that? 242 00:17:13,591 --> 00:17:18,133 '..the devastation really is extensive. It's a total mess.' 243 00:17:18,179 --> 00:17:20,551 I don't know what he meant by that. 244 00:17:24,101 --> 00:17:26,389 Got you these. 245 00:17:32,401 --> 00:17:35,651 - "To a wonderful mum"? - Oooh! 246 00:17:35,696 --> 00:17:38,317 Yeah, that's because... 247 00:17:38,365 --> 00:17:42,777 I thought it would be funny because of what you said last night 248 00:17:42,828 --> 00:17:45,663 about you don't want to be my mum and that. 249 00:17:45,705 --> 00:17:49,619 It's just a little joke, just sort of spur of the moment. 250 00:17:50,794 --> 00:17:53,794 - They're for your mum, aren't they? - Yeah. 251 00:17:53,838 --> 00:17:55,581 Smooth. 252 00:18:03,514 --> 00:18:06,633 If I don't do something, I'll end up in that pub 253 00:18:06,684 --> 00:18:10,099 for the rest of my life like those other sad old fuckers 254 00:18:10,145 --> 00:18:13,181 wondering what the hell happened. 255 00:18:13,232 --> 00:18:15,473 What do you mean do something? 256 00:18:48,891 --> 00:18:52,176 Fuck her. You got your pint. 257 00:18:52,228 --> 00:18:55,394 You got your pig snacks. What more do you want? 258 00:18:57,232 --> 00:18:59,769 Oh. You want your favourite monkey? 259 00:19:01,278 --> 00:19:03,187 Shall I do Clyde? 260 00:19:15,875 --> 00:19:18,081 See, I knew you'd get over her. 261 00:19:26,177 --> 00:19:28,383 * If you leave me now... * 262 00:19:28,429 --> 00:19:30,836 Who the hell put this on? 263 00:19:30,890 --> 00:19:33,427 It's on random. 264 00:19:33,476 --> 00:19:36,311 For fuck's sake. John, yes please, mate. 265 00:19:40,566 --> 00:19:44,349 You know what we should do tomorrow? Keep drinking. 266 00:19:44,403 --> 00:19:46,395 A Bloody Mary first thing, 267 00:19:46,446 --> 00:19:49,861 a bite at the King's Head, couple at The Little Princess, 268 00:19:49,908 --> 00:19:53,241 stagger back here and bang... back at the bar for shots. 269 00:19:53,286 --> 00:19:55,444 How's that for a slice of fried gold? 270 00:19:55,497 --> 00:19:57,655 - No. - Come on, man. 271 00:20:00,168 --> 00:20:02,125 Talk to me. 272 00:20:02,170 --> 00:20:06,665 She said if she stayed with me she'd end up in here for the rest of her life 273 00:20:06,716 --> 00:20:10,334 Iike these sad old fuckers wondering what the hell happened. 274 00:20:10,386 --> 00:20:12,259 That is harsh. 275 00:20:12,305 --> 00:20:15,969 - These are rich, interesting characters. - Like who? 276 00:20:19,311 --> 00:20:23,225 Snakehips. Always surrounded by women. 277 00:20:23,274 --> 00:20:25,147 He's a bigamist. 278 00:20:25,192 --> 00:20:28,276 Strangled his first wife with a draught excluder. 279 00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:30,608 And invented the mobile disco. 280 00:20:31,573 --> 00:20:33,814 What about her, then? 281 00:20:33,867 --> 00:20:36,440 Ooh! Cockacidal maniac. 282 00:20:38,413 --> 00:20:40,405 She's an ex-porn star. 283 00:20:40,457 --> 00:20:44,668 They say she starred in the world's first interracial hardcore loop. 284 00:20:44,711 --> 00:20:47,628 Cafe Au Lait... 285 00:20:47,672 --> 00:20:50,245 Pour Vous. 286 00:20:51,301 --> 00:20:53,673 Yeah. What about John, then? 287 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:56,804 He's North London Mafia. 288 00:20:56,848 --> 00:20:58,923 It's true, Big Al says so. 289 00:20:58,975 --> 00:21:01,892 Yeah, Big Al also says dogs can't look up. 290 00:21:01,936 --> 00:21:06,147 Think about it. Handy with a blade. Gruff demeanour. 291 00:21:06,190 --> 00:21:08,431 Bernie, the trophy wife. 292 00:21:08,484 --> 00:21:11,319 He's connected. Why is there a rifle above the bar? 293 00:21:11,362 --> 00:21:14,896 - The pub's called the Winchester. - Exactly. 294 00:21:14,948 --> 00:21:17,901 See, you don't need Liz to have a good time. 295 00:21:17,951 --> 00:21:19,908 - Don't, man. - No. 296 00:21:19,953 --> 00:21:22,159 Oi, look at me. 297 00:21:22,205 --> 00:21:26,913 Can I just say one thing? I'm not gonna say there's plenty more fish in the sea, 298 00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:29,450 I'm not gonna say if you love her let her go 299 00:21:29,504 --> 00:21:34,842 and I'm not gonna bombard you with cliches but what I will say is this... 300 00:21:34,884 --> 00:21:36,757 it's not the end of the world. 301 00:21:42,683 --> 00:21:44,841 Sorry, we're closed. 302 00:21:47,772 --> 00:21:49,314 Pisshead. 303 00:21:54,653 --> 00:21:56,610 * Ooh, white lines 304 00:21:56,655 --> 00:21:58,612 * Visions, dreams of passion 305 00:21:58,657 --> 00:22:00,863 * Going through my mind 306 00:22:00,909 --> 00:22:03,530 * And all the while I think of you... 307 00:22:03,578 --> 00:22:05,321 Oh? 308 00:22:05,372 --> 00:22:08,787 What's the matter, love, haven't you had your tea? 309 00:22:09,876 --> 00:22:13,624 * Something of a phenomenon telling my body to come along 310 00:22:13,671 --> 00:22:16,422 * Cos white lines 311 00:22:16,466 --> 00:22:19,217 * Blow away... - Shh! 312 00:22:20,386 --> 00:22:22,177 Blow! 313 00:22:22,221 --> 00:22:24,260 * Ah, get higher, baby 314 00:22:24,307 --> 00:22:28,055 * Ah, get higher, baby, ah, get higher, girl 315 00:22:28,102 --> 00:22:30,474 * Ah... * 316 00:22:38,737 --> 00:22:40,859 What? He should say base. 317 00:22:40,906 --> 00:22:42,898 Or freeze. 318 00:22:42,950 --> 00:22:44,609 What a tit. 319 00:22:53,793 --> 00:22:55,868 * You wanna dance? * 320 00:23:03,803 --> 00:23:05,925 Don't scratch it! Wait... 321 00:23:07,098 --> 00:23:11,973 - That was the second album I ever bought! - It's four in the fucking morning! 322 00:23:12,019 --> 00:23:14,141 - It's Saturday! - No, it's not. 323 00:23:14,188 --> 00:23:17,521 It's fucking Sunday and I've got to go to fucking work 324 00:23:17,566 --> 00:23:21,563 in four fucking hours because every other fucker is fucking ill! 325 00:23:21,612 --> 00:23:24,233 Now can you see why I'm so fucking angry? 326 00:23:24,281 --> 00:23:26,190 - Fuck, yeah! - Hey! Pete, look, 327 00:23:26,241 --> 00:23:31,911 I'm sorry, we had a couple of drinks, we split up with Liz tonight. 328 00:23:33,748 --> 00:23:36,036 Just keep it down, yeah? 329 00:23:37,127 --> 00:23:38,621 Prick. 330 00:23:38,670 --> 00:23:40,496 What was that? 331 00:23:40,547 --> 00:23:42,041 Nothing. 332 00:23:42,090 --> 00:23:46,383 - Stop it, we're friends! - He's not my friend. He's a fucking idiot. 333 00:23:46,427 --> 00:23:50,091 - What's that supposed to mean? - It means why don't you fuck off! 334 00:23:50,139 --> 00:23:53,887 You wanna live like an animal, live in the shed, you thick fuck! 335 00:23:53,935 --> 00:23:56,686 - Leave him alone! - Stop defending him. 336 00:23:56,729 --> 00:23:58,602 All he ever does is hold you back. 337 00:23:58,647 --> 00:24:02,644 Or is it easier having someone around who's more of a loser than you? 338 00:24:02,693 --> 00:24:06,061 - What's that supposed to mean? - You know what I mean. 339 00:24:06,113 --> 00:24:08,864 I assume it was Liz who did the dumping? 340 00:24:10,325 --> 00:24:13,409 Sort your fucking life out, mate. 341 00:24:13,453 --> 00:24:15,825 What's up with your hand, man? 342 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:20,408 - I got mugged on the way home from work. - By who? 343 00:24:20,460 --> 00:24:23,544 - Some crackheads. One of them bit me. - Why? 344 00:24:23,588 --> 00:24:26,754 I don't know, I didn't stop to ask them! 345 00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:30,879 I've got a splitting headache and your stupid hip hop isn't helping. 346 00:24:30,929 --> 00:24:33,799 And the front door is open. Again! 347 00:24:35,766 --> 00:24:39,514 It's not hip hop, it's electro. Prick. 348 00:24:39,562 --> 00:24:42,183 Next time I see him, he's dead. 349 00:24:53,617 --> 00:24:56,653 'Shaun, it's me. I'm gonna be a bit tied up today 350 00:24:56,703 --> 00:25:00,237 'so can you book the table for eight rather than seven? 351 00:25:00,290 --> 00:25:02,365 'I'll try you at work. Bye, bye.' 352 00:25:03,919 --> 00:25:06,588 'Hello, pickle. It's me, Mum. 353 00:25:06,630 --> 00:25:11,125 'Dad mentioned you might be visiting tomorrow which would be lovely. 354 00:25:11,176 --> 00:25:14,461 'Will you be bringing Elizabeth with you this time? 355 00:25:14,512 --> 00:25:17,085 'Only we can't wait to meet her finally 356 00:25:17,140 --> 00:25:21,635 'and also I was wondering if she wanted anything special for lunch? 357 00:25:21,686 --> 00:25:25,635 'Cos these days a lot of people don't eat meat.' 358 00:25:38,494 --> 00:25:41,067 Do you want anything from the shop? 359 00:25:42,372 --> 00:25:44,447 Cornetto. 360 00:26:52,315 --> 00:26:54,805 Nelson, have you got any papers? 361 00:26:56,652 --> 00:26:59,225 Nelson? I haven't even... 362 00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:01,438 I owe you about 15p. 363 00:27:33,729 --> 00:27:35,804 Oh dear. 364 00:27:38,567 --> 00:27:40,725 Sorry, I haven't got any change. 365 00:27:40,778 --> 00:27:44,822 I didn't even have enough at the fucking shop. Oh dear. 366 00:27:54,499 --> 00:28:00,418 '..no official comment but religious groups are calling it Judgement Day. There's...' 367 00:28:00,463 --> 00:28:03,380 *..panic on the streets of London... * 368 00:28:03,425 --> 00:28:07,089 - '..number of reports of...' - '..serious attacks on...' 369 00:28:07,137 --> 00:28:10,054 - '..people who are being...' - '..eaten alive.' 370 00:28:10,098 --> 00:28:14,475 'Witness reports are sketchy. One unifying detail seems to be 371 00:28:14,519 --> 00:28:17,354 'that the attackers appear to be...' 372 00:28:17,396 --> 00:28:20,930 '..the sensational chart-topping...' 373 00:28:20,983 --> 00:28:26,024 '..or ideological connection between those committing the atrocities...' 374 00:28:26,071 --> 00:28:28,443 There's a girl in the garden. 375 00:28:28,490 --> 00:28:32,357 - '..emergency services...' - What? 376 00:28:32,411 --> 00:28:34,569 In the garden, there is a girl. 377 00:28:34,621 --> 00:28:39,247 '..the armed forces will be called in to provide backup and assistance. 378 00:28:39,292 --> 00:28:44,167 'Scientists are still trying to establish the nature of the phenomenon 379 00:28:44,256 --> 00:28:46,883 'and are unsure as to the...' 380 00:28:46,883 --> 00:28:49,456 Excuse me. 381 00:28:52,305 --> 00:28:54,380 Excuse me. 382 00:28:56,601 --> 00:28:58,095 Hello. 383 00:29:02,481 --> 00:29:04,888 - What are you doing? - Oi! 384 00:29:23,460 --> 00:29:25,119 Oh, my God. 385 00:29:27,672 --> 00:29:29,747 She's so drunk. 386 00:29:33,178 --> 00:29:35,466 How much have you had, love? 387 00:29:35,513 --> 00:29:38,348 - Oh! I think she likes you. - Shut up. 388 00:29:38,391 --> 00:29:41,925 - She wants a cuddle! - I've just come out of a relationship. 389 00:29:41,978 --> 00:29:45,761 - Ed, do something! - Wait there. 390 00:29:45,815 --> 00:29:47,937 - Ed! - Two seconds. 391 00:29:47,984 --> 00:29:50,688 I'm really flattered and everything but... 392 00:29:52,696 --> 00:29:54,522 And, hold it there. 393 00:29:54,573 --> 00:29:56,648 Ed! Just get her off me. 394 00:29:56,700 --> 00:29:58,988 Jesus! 395 00:30:00,537 --> 00:30:04,949 - What's up with her eyes? - Now, seriously... 396 00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:08,831 Mary, I'm warning you, I'll have to get physical, I mean it! 397 00:30:08,879 --> 00:30:11,120 This is it... Look, just fuck off! 398 00:30:45,372 --> 00:30:48,123 - I think we should go back inside. - OK. 399 00:30:56,758 --> 00:30:59,331 - Shaun, what's going on? - Shit, it's engaged. 400 00:30:59,594 --> 00:31:02,760 - How about an ambulance? - It's engaged, Ed. 401 00:31:03,765 --> 00:31:07,133 - Fire engine? - It's one number and it's busy! 402 00:31:07,185 --> 00:31:12,095 - And what do you want a fire engine for? - Anything with flashing lights. 403 00:31:12,148 --> 00:31:14,354 Are they still out there? 404 00:31:21,073 --> 00:31:24,441 Yeah. What do you think we should do? 405 00:31:24,493 --> 00:31:26,236 Have a sit-down? 406 00:31:26,286 --> 00:31:29,073 'There are reports of chaos on the motorways 407 00:31:29,123 --> 00:31:32,373 'as thousands of people attempt to flee the cities. 408 00:31:32,417 --> 00:31:36,200 'The M1, the M3, M4, M6...' 409 00:31:36,254 --> 00:31:40,915 - Do you think this is the same thing? - '..are all at a standstill. 410 00:31:40,967 --> 00:31:47,218 'The Home Office is urging people to stay in their homes and await further instruction.' 411 00:31:47,265 --> 00:31:50,182 'Ensure all residences are secure 412 00:31:50,226 --> 00:31:55,302 'with all doors and windows firmly locked and barricaded. Police...' 413 00:31:59,151 --> 00:32:02,401 - For God's sake! He's got an arm off! - Get him! 414 00:32:16,418 --> 00:32:22,787 'More reports just in confirm that in all cases the attackers seem slow and shambolic...' 415 00:32:22,841 --> 00:32:25,129 I'm gonna shut the front door. 416 00:32:25,176 --> 00:32:29,339 '..regarding the best way to neutralise the attackers. 417 00:32:29,389 --> 00:32:34,679 'ln the meantime, contact with these assailants is highly inadvisable.' 418 00:32:34,727 --> 00:32:38,594 - Did you see his head go? - 'lf you're confronted...' 419 00:32:41,567 --> 00:32:44,770 - We should get out there. - No, we should stay inside. 420 00:32:44,820 --> 00:32:47,856 - We can take 'em. - The man said to stay indoors. 421 00:32:47,907 --> 00:32:50,576 - Fuck the man. - In here, we're safe. 422 00:32:54,038 --> 00:32:58,995 '..the attackers can be stopped by removing the head or destroying the brain. 423 00:32:59,042 --> 00:33:04,380 'I'll repeat that, by removing the head or destroying the brain.' 424 00:33:11,888 --> 00:33:13,430 Hey! 425 00:33:15,350 --> 00:33:17,093 Aim for the head. 426 00:33:36,161 --> 00:33:37,987 - Now what? - Get more stuff. 427 00:33:38,038 --> 00:33:40,410 - What's in the shed? - Dunno, it's locked. 428 00:33:40,457 --> 00:33:42,994 - Why is it locked? - It's always been locked. 429 00:33:44,795 --> 00:33:47,202 No! That's the second album I ever bought! 430 00:33:54,763 --> 00:33:58,178 Some of these are limited... Ah! What was that? 431 00:33:58,224 --> 00:34:00,797 - Blue Monday. - That was an original pressing. 432 00:34:00,852 --> 00:34:03,010 For fuck's sake. 433 00:34:03,062 --> 00:34:05,019 - Erm...Purple Rain? - No. 434 00:34:05,064 --> 00:34:06,855 - Sign O' The Times? - Definitely not. 435 00:34:06,899 --> 00:34:09,021 - The Batman soundtrack? - Throw it. 436 00:34:11,696 --> 00:34:13,569 - Dire Straits? - Throw it. 437 00:34:17,535 --> 00:34:19,823 - Er... Ooh, Stone Roses? - No. 438 00:34:19,870 --> 00:34:22,195 - Second Coming? - I like it. 439 00:34:22,247 --> 00:34:24,286 Ah! Sade? 440 00:34:24,333 --> 00:34:26,539 - That's Liz's. - She dumped you. 441 00:34:28,503 --> 00:34:31,254 - I'm going to the shed. - You said it was locked. 442 00:34:42,225 --> 00:34:46,269 - Which one do you want? Girl or bloke? - Er...the first one. 443 00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:09,575 'People receiving bites have experienced headaches and nausea 444 00:35:09,626 --> 00:35:11,618 'and developed symptoms...' 445 00:35:11,670 --> 00:35:13,543 You've got red on you. 446 00:35:13,588 --> 00:35:15,960 'lf you know someone who has been bitten 447 00:35:16,007 --> 00:35:20,004 'it is absolutely essential that you isolate them immediately. 448 00:35:20,053 --> 00:35:24,631 'The public are being strongly advised not to approach anyone...' 449 00:35:24,808 --> 00:35:26,599 Pete? 450 00:35:29,979 --> 00:35:31,521 Pete? 451 00:35:31,564 --> 00:35:33,722 - Why don't we just go up? - Don't go up there! 452 00:35:33,775 --> 00:35:36,811 - Why not? - Because A, he might be one of them 453 00:35:36,861 --> 00:35:39,482 and B, he might still be annoyed. 454 00:35:39,530 --> 00:35:41,487 Pete? 455 00:35:41,532 --> 00:35:43,607 Maybe he went into work. 456 00:35:43,659 --> 00:35:46,909 How come he didn't drive? His keys are still here. 457 00:35:46,954 --> 00:35:51,615 Maybe he got a lift. He said he wasn't feeling well. Pete? 458 00:35:51,667 --> 00:35:54,336 Oi, prick! 459 00:35:54,378 --> 00:35:56,666 He's not in. 460 00:35:56,713 --> 00:35:59,630 - You got a fag? - No, I've given up. 461 00:35:59,674 --> 00:36:02,129 - Since when? - Since... 462 00:36:04,930 --> 00:36:07,717 Come on, babe. Oh, she's engaged. 463 00:36:07,766 --> 00:36:10,339 - That was quick. - Ed, this is serious. 464 00:36:10,393 --> 00:36:11,803 Liz! 465 00:36:11,853 --> 00:36:15,268 - 'Shaun.' - Mum! I was gonna call you. Are you OK? 466 00:36:15,315 --> 00:36:17,390 - 'Yes.' - Are you sure? 467 00:36:17,442 --> 00:36:20,063 'Some men tried to get into the house.' 468 00:36:20,111 --> 00:36:24,108 - Are they still there? - 'I'm not sure. We shut the curtains.' 469 00:36:24,156 --> 00:36:27,856 - Did you try the police? - 'Well, I thought about it.' 470 00:36:27,910 --> 00:36:31,409 - Are you OK? Did they hurt you? - 'No, I'm fine.' 471 00:36:31,455 --> 00:36:35,618 - Mum? - 'Well...they were a bit bitey.' 472 00:36:37,711 --> 00:36:41,494 - Mum, have you been bitten? - 'No, but Philip has.' 473 00:36:41,548 --> 00:36:43,540 - Oh, OK. - Has she been bitten? 474 00:36:43,592 --> 00:36:45,383 - No, Philip has. - Oh, OK. 475 00:36:45,427 --> 00:36:49,922 - Mum, what state is he in? - 'He's fine. Bit under the weather.' 476 00:36:49,973 --> 00:36:51,846 - I see. - What's the deal? 477 00:36:51,891 --> 00:36:56,268 We may have to kill my stepdad. Mum, you're not safe there. I'm coming. 478 00:36:56,312 --> 00:36:59,680 - 'I don't want to cause a fuss.' - We're coming to get you, Barbara! 479 00:37:00,441 --> 00:37:03,068 So, what's the plan? 480 00:37:05,696 --> 00:37:06,940 Right. 481 00:37:07,907 --> 00:37:10,694 'We take Pete's car, we drive over to Mum's, 482 00:37:10,743 --> 00:37:14,158 'we go in, we take care of Philip.' 483 00:37:14,205 --> 00:37:16,493 I'm so sorry, Philip. 484 00:37:16,540 --> 00:37:19,077 'Then we grab Mum, go over to Liz's place, 485 00:37:19,126 --> 00:37:21,332 'hole up, have a cup of tea 486 00:37:21,378 --> 00:37:24,248 'and wait for all this to blow over.' 487 00:37:24,298 --> 00:37:27,251 - Why have we got to go to Liz's? - Because we do. 488 00:37:27,300 --> 00:37:30,087 - She dumped you. - I have to know if she's all right. 489 00:37:30,137 --> 00:37:32,674 - Why? - Because I love her. 490 00:37:33,890 --> 00:37:35,965 All right, gay. 491 00:37:36,017 --> 00:37:38,472 - I'm not staying there, though. - Why not? 492 00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:41,473 If we hole up, I want to be somewhere familiar, 493 00:37:41,522 --> 00:37:45,566 I wanna know where the exits are and I wanna be allowed to smoke. 494 00:37:45,610 --> 00:37:47,851 OK... 495 00:37:47,904 --> 00:37:49,979 'Take Pete's car, go round Mum's, 496 00:37:50,031 --> 00:37:52,568 'go in, deal with Philip.' 497 00:37:52,616 --> 00:37:53,944 Sorry, Philip. 498 00:37:53,993 --> 00:37:57,444 'Grab mum, go to Liz's, pick her up, bring her back here, 499 00:37:57,496 --> 00:38:00,995 'have a cup of tea and wait for all this to blow over.' 500 00:38:01,041 --> 00:38:02,416 Perfik. 501 00:38:02,459 --> 00:38:05,495 No, wait, we can't bring them back here. 502 00:38:05,546 --> 00:38:08,333 - Why not? - It's not exactly safe, is it? 503 00:38:08,382 --> 00:38:10,339 Yeah. Look at the state of it. 504 00:38:10,384 --> 00:38:14,167 Where's safe? Where's familiar? 505 00:38:14,221 --> 00:38:15,798 Where can I smoke? 506 00:38:21,311 --> 00:38:23,932 'Take car, go to Mum's, kill Phil.' 507 00:38:23,980 --> 00:38:27,431 - Sorry. - 'Grab Liz, go to the Winchester, 508 00:38:27,483 --> 00:38:31,314 'have a nice cold pint and wait for all this to blow over.' 509 00:38:32,363 --> 00:38:35,114 How's that for a slice of fried gold? 510 00:38:35,157 --> 00:38:36,900 Yeah, boy! 511 00:38:36,951 --> 00:38:40,236 'To recap, it is vital that you stay in your homes. 512 00:38:40,287 --> 00:38:42,694 'Make no attempt to reach loved ones 513 00:38:42,748 --> 00:38:46,496 'and avoid all physical contact with the assailants.' 514 00:38:46,543 --> 00:38:49,378 Do you believe everything you hear on TV? 515 00:38:50,380 --> 00:38:53,333 Yeah, I can see it, it's just outside. 516 00:38:53,383 --> 00:38:55,458 Any zombies out there? 517 00:38:56,428 --> 00:38:58,254 - Don't say that. - What? 518 00:38:58,305 --> 00:39:00,297 - That. - What? 519 00:39:00,348 --> 00:39:02,755 That. The Z word. Don't say it. 520 00:39:02,809 --> 00:39:05,382 - Why not? - Because it's ridiculous. 521 00:39:05,437 --> 00:39:09,019 All right. Are there any out there, though? 522 00:39:10,942 --> 00:39:14,393 Can't see any. Maybe it's not as bad as all that. 523 00:39:14,445 --> 00:39:16,520 Oh! No, there they are. 524 00:39:18,866 --> 00:39:21,154 - OK, let's do this, yeah? - Yeah? 525 00:39:21,202 --> 00:39:23,360 Yeah! I got to do a wee first. 526 00:39:23,412 --> 00:39:25,451 Ooh...can I drive? 527 00:39:25,497 --> 00:39:27,074 What? 528 00:39:27,124 --> 00:39:31,073 I always wanted to drive Pete's car. I might not get another chance. 529 00:39:31,128 --> 00:39:32,705 OK. 530 00:40:04,660 --> 00:40:06,451 Ahh! Oh, God. 531 00:40:06,495 --> 00:40:10,872 Sorry, Pete. Listen, we're gonna borrow your car, OK? 532 00:40:10,916 --> 00:40:12,991 Erm, we'll bring it back. 533 00:40:13,043 --> 00:40:18,250 And if you're feeling better later, we're...we're going to the pub. 534 00:40:18,298 --> 00:40:21,749 You're more than welcome to, er... 535 00:40:21,802 --> 00:40:23,212 join us. 536 00:40:31,102 --> 00:40:34,186 Pete'd be so pissed off if he knew I was driving his car. 537 00:40:34,230 --> 00:40:35,688 I don't think so. 538 00:40:38,401 --> 00:40:40,974 Shaun, which button's central locking? 539 00:40:45,908 --> 00:40:47,734 Oh, cock it! 540 00:40:48,911 --> 00:40:51,069 Get lost! 541 00:41:05,010 --> 00:41:06,967 Drive. 542 00:41:08,805 --> 00:41:13,265 'The Church of England has joined other extremist religious groups 543 00:41:13,310 --> 00:41:16,643 'in proclaiming this "a sign of a coming apocalypse". 544 00:41:16,688 --> 00:41:20,851 'Downing Street is refusing to be drawn into a religious debate. 545 00:41:20,900 --> 00:41:26,570 'The bodies of the recently deceased are returning to life and attacking the living.' 546 00:41:26,614 --> 00:41:29,484 Let's put something else on. 547 00:41:29,533 --> 00:41:31,988 What are you doing? Ed, look out! 548 00:41:36,540 --> 00:41:38,615 I think we hit something. 549 00:41:41,211 --> 00:41:43,120 Or someone. 550 00:41:43,172 --> 00:41:44,714 Ow! 551 00:41:52,597 --> 00:41:55,348 Are you all right? 552 00:41:55,392 --> 00:41:57,467 Come on, let's just go. 553 00:41:58,436 --> 00:41:59,716 Hello? 554 00:41:59,771 --> 00:42:02,855 - He's gonna be dead either way. - That's not the point. 555 00:42:08,946 --> 00:42:11,021 Oh, thank God for that. 556 00:42:14,619 --> 00:42:17,192 Ah, hello. 557 00:42:18,247 --> 00:42:20,120 Who's a pretty boy then? 558 00:42:23,919 --> 00:42:27,583 You didn't say Barbara had a Jag. I've always wanted to drive a Jag. 559 00:42:27,631 --> 00:42:30,003 It's Philip's. He won't let anybody near it. 560 00:42:30,050 --> 00:42:33,216 I put a Mars Bar in it once and he chased me with a bit of wood. 561 00:42:33,261 --> 00:42:37,340 - Fuck, it's gorgeous. - It seems pretty clear, we should go. 562 00:42:37,390 --> 00:42:40,225 Why don't I stay here? 563 00:42:40,268 --> 00:42:42,390 What, what, what, what, what? 564 00:42:42,437 --> 00:42:46,386 You know, just look after the car. If there's any problems... 565 00:42:46,441 --> 00:42:48,516 I'll honk three times. 566 00:42:48,568 --> 00:42:49,730 OK. 567 00:42:54,282 --> 00:42:56,607 Don't forget to kill Philip! 568 00:42:57,868 --> 00:43:00,026 - Hello, pickle. - Hi, Mum. 569 00:43:00,788 --> 00:43:02,661 You've got red on you. 570 00:43:02,706 --> 00:43:05,956 Yeah. Mum, is everything OK? Are you all right? 571 00:43:06,001 --> 00:43:08,408 - Yes, I'm fine. - Where's Philip? 572 00:43:08,462 --> 00:43:10,869 - Dad's in the lounge. - He's not my dad. 573 00:43:10,923 --> 00:43:12,251 Really! 574 00:43:12,299 --> 00:43:14,789 Ed's outside, we'll take you somewhere safe. 575 00:43:14,843 --> 00:43:17,927 - What about the doctor? - I don't think he's gonna come. 576 00:43:17,971 --> 00:43:22,015 - Philip won't want to leave the house. - Philip isn't... 577 00:43:22,058 --> 00:43:24,975 Put the kettle on and I'll deal with Philip. 578 00:43:25,020 --> 00:43:26,893 - OK. - OK, then. 579 00:43:26,938 --> 00:43:28,681 - You hungry? - Not really. 580 00:43:28,732 --> 00:43:31,139 - I'll make some sandwiches. - OK. 581 00:43:32,068 --> 00:43:34,143 No fighting, you two. 582 00:43:35,321 --> 00:43:38,274 '..you may ask where is our God? 583 00:43:39,367 --> 00:43:43,281 'But throughout the land, men and women of integrity 584 00:43:43,329 --> 00:43:46,080 'rise up to confront the unseen enemy. 585 00:43:47,833 --> 00:43:50,121 'They will not be cowards, 586 00:43:50,169 --> 00:43:53,869 'they will be courageous in the face of danger.' 587 00:44:00,095 --> 00:44:02,502 - I'm so sorry, Philip. - Why? 588 00:44:02,556 --> 00:44:05,011 - What have you done now? - Nothing. 589 00:44:05,058 --> 00:44:07,465 What have you got there? Flowers, I hope. 590 00:44:07,519 --> 00:44:10,389 No, it's...cricket bat. 591 00:44:10,438 --> 00:44:13,308 - Is that for the jumble, Shaun? - No. Yes. 592 00:44:13,358 --> 00:44:16,857 Your toys are upstairs. I was going to give them to the jumble. 593 00:44:16,903 --> 00:44:20,022 - I took them all to the tip, Barbara. - What? 594 00:44:20,073 --> 00:44:23,192 - Shaun wants to take us somewhere. - Don't be silly. 595 00:44:23,242 --> 00:44:25,993 Maybe you should stay here and wait for the doctor. 596 00:44:26,037 --> 00:44:29,405 - You said he wasn't coming. - You didn't call the doctor? 597 00:44:29,457 --> 00:44:34,451 - Just to be on the safe side. - I'm fine. I ran it under a cold tap. 598 00:44:34,503 --> 00:44:37,706 We had our jabs when we went to the lsle of Wight. 599 00:44:37,756 --> 00:44:40,591 - But, Philip... - It's overblown nonsense. 600 00:44:40,634 --> 00:44:44,797 - A lot of drug nuts running wild. - But I should get Mum away. 601 00:44:44,846 --> 00:44:48,012 - I'm not going anywhere without Philip. - Mum, look! 602 00:44:48,058 --> 00:44:51,058 How about that tea? 603 00:44:51,102 --> 00:44:55,016 Mum, how much do you love Philip? 604 00:44:55,065 --> 00:44:58,848 - Two sugars, is it? - I haven't had sugar in my tea since 1982. 605 00:44:58,902 --> 00:45:01,357 Oh, yes. Will you cut me some bread, love? 606 00:45:01,404 --> 00:45:04,737 Mum, look, how much do you love Philip? 607 00:45:04,782 --> 00:45:07,355 Do we have to go through all that again? 608 00:45:07,410 --> 00:45:11,573 What would you say if I told you that Philip's been quite unkind to me? 609 00:45:11,622 --> 00:45:13,614 You weren't easy to live with. 610 00:45:13,666 --> 00:45:17,330 - He chased me with a bit of wood! - You did call him a you-know-what. 611 00:45:17,378 --> 00:45:20,331 - Did he tell you that? Motherfucker. - Shaun! 612 00:45:20,381 --> 00:45:22,373 Sorry, Mother... Mum! 613 00:45:22,424 --> 00:45:27,050 Did you know that on several occasions... he touched me? 614 00:45:32,768 --> 00:45:36,053 That wasn't true. Made it up, shouldn't have, sorry. 615 00:45:36,104 --> 00:45:39,389 - You don't understand... - No, you don't understand. 616 00:45:39,441 --> 00:45:42,394 Philip is my husband and has been for 1 7 years 617 00:45:42,443 --> 00:45:46,061 and I would at least expect you to respect my feelings. 618 00:45:46,114 --> 00:45:48,865 You must be more adult about these things. 619 00:45:48,908 --> 00:45:50,817 Yeah. 620 00:45:50,868 --> 00:45:55,079 Come on, Shaun. There comes a time when... 621 00:45:56,165 --> 00:45:58,572 you just... 622 00:45:58,626 --> 00:46:00,701 gotta be a man. 623 00:46:07,968 --> 00:46:10,541 I'm telling you, it's a fuss over nothing. 624 00:46:10,596 --> 00:46:12,553 Hello, Edward. 625 00:46:12,597 --> 00:46:15,134 - Hi, Barbara. - My, how you've grown. 626 00:46:15,183 --> 00:46:18,634 You better believe it. What happened? Why is he coming? 627 00:46:18,687 --> 00:46:22,351 - It wasn't as easy as all that. - Are we following you? 628 00:46:22,399 --> 00:46:26,017 No, it's probably best if we... Where's the car? 629 00:46:26,069 --> 00:46:29,105 Hmm...I pranged it. 630 00:46:29,155 --> 00:46:30,814 You were parked. 631 00:46:30,865 --> 00:46:32,691 Yeah. 632 00:46:32,742 --> 00:46:35,279 I guess we'll have to take the Jag. 633 00:46:36,871 --> 00:46:39,159 - Philip? - What? 634 00:46:39,206 --> 00:46:41,281 Look out! 635 00:46:43,002 --> 00:46:44,875 Christ! 636 00:46:53,178 --> 00:46:56,013 - Give me the car keys! - You're not driving that car. 637 00:46:56,056 --> 00:46:59,259 Give me the car keys! Ed, get Mum in the car. 638 00:46:59,309 --> 00:47:01,550 I'm on it. 639 00:47:01,603 --> 00:47:04,556 Don't worry about me. Worry about your mother. 640 00:47:05,690 --> 00:47:08,940 - Maybe I should drive. - I've adjusted the seat now. 641 00:47:08,985 --> 00:47:10,811 Just be careful! 642 00:47:21,664 --> 00:47:24,415 Can you please turn that noise down? 643 00:47:26,001 --> 00:47:29,369 Are you all right, dear? Would you like another tissue? 644 00:47:29,421 --> 00:47:32,872 I'd be fine if it weren't for that bloody racket. 645 00:47:32,925 --> 00:47:35,131 - It is a bit loud. - Sorry, Barbara. 646 00:47:37,804 --> 00:47:40,341 You do realise this is a 20 mile an hour zone? 647 00:47:40,390 --> 00:47:41,967 Oh, yeah. 648 00:47:44,936 --> 00:47:47,509 - Here. - Mum, this won't take a second, all right? 649 00:47:50,900 --> 00:47:55,229 - Have you still got the child locks on? - Safety first, Shaun. 650 00:47:55,280 --> 00:47:57,355 You can't... 651 00:47:58,741 --> 00:48:01,362 Hey, man, watch the leather. 652 00:48:03,788 --> 00:48:06,741 Keep moving. If there's any problems... 653 00:48:06,791 --> 00:48:09,116 I'll do the honks. 654 00:48:33,212 --> 00:48:35,287 'Hello?' 655 00:48:37,174 --> 00:48:39,801 Hello? 656 00:49:00,905 --> 00:49:03,740 - Guys, can you let me in? - What are you doing? 657 00:49:03,783 --> 00:49:06,570 I've come to get you. 658 00:49:18,672 --> 00:49:22,716 - What are you doing? - I've come to take you somewhere safe. 659 00:49:22,760 --> 00:49:24,966 - We were safe! - You don't know that. 660 00:49:25,012 --> 00:49:28,131 There was two of them out there. How many are there now? 661 00:49:28,182 --> 00:49:29,426 - Lots. - Lots! 662 00:49:29,475 --> 00:49:32,428 It only takes one of them to know you're in here. 663 00:49:32,477 --> 00:49:36,225 I tried calling but I couldn't get through. I had to come up with a plan. 664 00:49:36,273 --> 00:49:39,772 - Oh, you made a plan? - We have to get out of here. 665 00:49:39,818 --> 00:49:42,487 If we don't, they'll tear us to pieces. 666 00:49:42,529 --> 00:49:45,399 And that will exacerbate things for all of us. 667 00:49:45,448 --> 00:49:48,318 - Shaun... - This is not about you and me. 668 00:49:48,368 --> 00:49:50,407 This is about survival. 669 00:49:50,453 --> 00:49:54,450 We need to be somewhere more secure, somewhere we can stay alive. 670 00:49:54,499 --> 00:49:56,740 - We're with you, Shaun. - What? 671 00:49:56,792 --> 00:49:59,543 - We're with you. - I'm not going out there. 672 00:49:59,212 --> 00:50:04,003 Daffs! I don't want to be torn to pieces and if you think about it, neither do you. 673 00:50:04,048 --> 00:50:06,799 - I'm not going if Lizzie's not going. - She's going. 674 00:50:06,842 --> 00:50:09,047 - I'm not staying by myself. - You're going, aren't you? 675 00:50:09,094 --> 00:50:11,169 - Lizzie? - Liz? 676 00:50:15,932 --> 00:50:19,264 - All right, Flash, what's your plan? - Great. I've got a car 677 00:50:19,310 --> 00:50:23,009 but it's gonna be a bit cramped now. Has anyone got transport? 678 00:50:23,063 --> 00:50:25,102 - Yes! - Great. Where? 679 00:50:25,148 --> 00:50:28,017 Oh, no. Well, I've passed my test. 680 00:50:28,067 --> 00:50:29,311 David? 681 00:50:29,359 --> 00:50:32,940 I don't see the point of owning a car in London. 682 00:50:32,987 --> 00:50:35,738 Look, just get any blunt objects together. 683 00:50:35,781 --> 00:50:38,615 If you get cornered, bash them in the head. 684 00:50:38,658 --> 00:50:41,409 Keep together, stay sharp and follow me. 685 00:50:41,452 --> 00:50:43,859 So, what's the plan, then? 686 00:50:43,912 --> 00:50:46,283 We're going to the Winchester. 687 00:50:50,333 --> 00:50:52,206 OK? Let's go. 688 00:51:08,305 --> 00:51:10,427 - Come on. - Where's the car? 689 00:51:14,977 --> 00:51:17,182 What's up, niggaz? 690 00:51:21,857 --> 00:51:25,936 Apologies for the cramped conditions. Di, stay on David's lap. 691 00:51:25,985 --> 00:51:29,068 Philip, hang in there, OK? Ed, get there fast. 692 00:51:29,112 --> 00:51:31,400 And, Mum, this is Liz. Liz, Mum. 693 00:51:31,448 --> 00:51:33,356 Hello. 694 00:51:40,371 --> 00:51:41,781 Ed, be careful. 695 00:51:41,830 --> 00:51:43,987 - Is your dad all right? - He's not my dad. 696 00:51:44,040 --> 00:51:46,530 - He's bleeding. - I know! Ed, be careful. 697 00:51:46,584 --> 00:51:49,288 Thought you wanted to get there fast? 698 00:51:49,753 --> 00:51:52,918 I want to get there in one piece! Why are we going this way? 699 00:51:52,964 --> 00:51:55,039 Chill out, it's a short cut. 700 00:51:55,090 --> 00:51:58,173 - That road goes to the Winchester. - Shaun... 701 00:51:58,218 --> 00:52:02,546 - Liz, please! - I don't understand why the Winchester? 702 00:52:02,596 --> 00:52:05,761 - It's a pub, it's safe, it's secure. - They know us. 703 00:52:05,807 --> 00:52:09,886 - What makes it so secure? - It's got big heavy doors and deadbolts. 704 00:52:09,935 --> 00:52:11,843 And there's a rifle above the bar. 705 00:52:11,895 --> 00:52:16,555 - I would think that's deactivated. - It's not. John's connected. Big Al says so. 706 00:52:16,606 --> 00:52:18,728 Big Al also says dogs can't look up. 707 00:52:18,775 --> 00:52:20,268 - They can't. - Can't they? 708 00:52:20,318 --> 00:52:22,440 - Of course they can! - Are you sure? 709 00:52:22,486 --> 00:52:26,019 Yes! The pub is the right place to go. Everything is gonna be fine. 710 00:52:26,072 --> 00:52:28,526 - Shaun... - I turned it off, all right? 711 00:52:28,574 --> 00:52:30,779 What? 712 00:52:30,826 --> 00:52:34,158 - Being a father, it's not easy. - What? 713 00:52:34,703 --> 00:52:39,079 You were 12 when I met you, you'd already grown up so much. 714 00:52:39,123 --> 00:52:45,159 I just wanted you to be strong and not give up because you lost your dad. 715 00:52:46,254 --> 00:52:51,792 - Philip, you don't have to explain. - No, I do. I always loved you, Shaun. 716 00:52:51,841 --> 00:52:56,632 And I always thought you had it in you to do well. 717 00:52:56,678 --> 00:53:01,006 You just need...m-motivation. 718 00:53:01,057 --> 00:53:03,629 Somebody to look up to and... 719 00:53:06,644 --> 00:53:08,719 I thought it could be me. 720 00:53:10,272 --> 00:53:13,272 Would you just...take care of your mum? 721 00:53:16,902 --> 00:53:19,024 There's a good boy. 722 00:53:22,072 --> 00:53:24,609 - Ed, can you pull over? - Two seconds. 723 00:53:27,243 --> 00:53:29,947 - Ah! Ed, please pull over. - What for? 724 00:53:29,995 --> 00:53:32,911 - Just pull over! - All right. 725 00:53:38,543 --> 00:53:40,001 Whoa, momma! 726 00:53:40,044 --> 00:53:43,494 - What the hell are you doing? - Chill out. Everyone's all right. 727 00:53:43,547 --> 00:53:45,704 Stop telling me to chill out! 728 00:53:46,716 --> 00:53:50,297 - And everybody is not all right. - What's wrong? 729 00:53:50,344 --> 00:53:52,964 Mum, it's Philip, he's gone. 730 00:53:53,012 --> 00:53:55,584 - Where's he gone? - Mum, he's dead. 731 00:53:56,640 --> 00:53:58,928 No, he isn't. 732 00:53:58,975 --> 00:54:00,967 Get out! 733 00:54:02,394 --> 00:54:04,682 Jesus! 734 00:54:04,729 --> 00:54:08,013 - Get it open! - Ed, get the child locks! 735 00:54:08,065 --> 00:54:10,140 Quick! 736 00:54:12,569 --> 00:54:14,561 - The child lock! - Ed! 737 00:54:34,377 --> 00:54:36,534 - Now what? - We keep moving. 738 00:54:36,587 --> 00:54:40,370 - How do we get Philip out the car? - We haven't got time. 739 00:54:40,423 --> 00:54:43,174 - We can't leave your dad. - He's not my dad! 740 00:54:43,217 --> 00:54:45,256 Mum, he was, but he's not any more. 741 00:54:45,302 --> 00:54:49,761 - I really think we could... - That's not your husband in there. OK? 742 00:54:49,805 --> 00:54:54,181 It looks like him but there is nothing of the man you loved in that car. 743 00:54:56,518 --> 00:54:58,640 Let's go, shall we? 744 00:54:58,687 --> 00:55:01,011 You're not suggesting we walk? 745 00:55:04,274 --> 00:55:06,846 - Everybody OK? - Yeah, we're having a whale of a time. 746 00:55:07,277 --> 00:55:10,479 Maybe we should all hold hands, make a crocodile? 747 00:55:10,529 --> 00:55:12,568 Do you know where we're going? 748 00:55:12,614 --> 00:55:15,104 - David, come on. - Sorry. 749 00:55:15,157 --> 00:55:17,564 - Do you, though? - Yeah, totally. 750 00:55:17,618 --> 00:55:19,195 Are we close? 751 00:55:24,956 --> 00:55:27,410 We're pretty close. 752 00:55:27,458 --> 00:55:30,374 - Is your mum gonna be OK? - Yeah, I hope so. 753 00:55:30,419 --> 00:55:33,335 - Did you contact your folks? - They're in Antigua. 754 00:55:33,379 --> 00:55:36,379 - Do you think this is happening there? - I hope not. 755 00:55:36,423 --> 00:55:39,506 About last night. I know loads of things were said but... 756 00:55:39,551 --> 00:55:42,337 - You said this wasn't about us. - No, it's not. 757 00:55:42,386 --> 00:55:45,302 - You said it was about survival. - It is, but... 758 00:55:45,347 --> 00:55:50,766 You're not just trying to prove something? I meant everything I said last night. 759 00:55:53,061 --> 00:55:56,393 - Maybe this isn't the best time to talk. - OK. 760 00:55:57,481 --> 00:55:59,105 Shaun. 761 00:55:59,149 --> 00:56:00,607 Yvonne. 762 00:56:00,650 --> 00:56:03,436 - How's it going? - Er, surviving. 763 00:56:03,485 --> 00:56:06,057 Hey, Liz. Long time no see. 764 00:56:06,112 --> 00:56:07,819 Hey, Yvonne. 765 00:56:07,864 --> 00:56:10,733 Erm...this is my boyfriend, Declan. 766 00:56:10,783 --> 00:56:12,858 Erm...my friends Mark, Maggie, 767 00:56:12,909 --> 00:56:16,407 - my mum and my cousin Tom. - All right. 768 00:56:16,454 --> 00:56:18,991 This is Shaun and his girlfriend Liz. 769 00:56:19,039 --> 00:56:22,039 - They've split up, actually. - Oh, really? 770 00:56:22,083 --> 00:56:24,240 - Yeah. - That's a shame. 771 00:56:24,293 --> 00:56:27,328 We should scoot. Have you got somewhere you're going? 772 00:56:27,378 --> 00:56:30,911 - Yeah, we're going to the Winchester. - The pub? 773 00:56:32,799 --> 00:56:35,585 - Yeah. - Right, well. Good luck! 774 00:56:41,472 --> 00:56:43,262 Hi. 775 00:56:43,307 --> 00:56:44,800 Hello. 776 00:56:44,850 --> 00:56:45,964 Hi. 777 00:56:46,017 --> 00:56:47,807 Hello. 778 00:56:47,852 --> 00:56:49,511 All right. 779 00:56:52,230 --> 00:56:54,802 See? The Winchester's just over there. 780 00:56:54,857 --> 00:56:57,181 - Over where? - Over there. 781 00:56:57,234 --> 00:56:59,806 Just over there, over the 20 garden fences? 782 00:56:59,861 --> 00:57:01,687 What's the matter, David? 783 00:57:02,196 --> 00:57:04,401 Never taken a short cut before? 784 00:57:21,252 --> 00:57:22,911 Shaun. 785 00:57:22,962 --> 00:57:25,748 I'm sure Jill and Derek live round here. 786 00:57:39,766 --> 00:57:43,928 Now, the Winchester is just over that fence, all right? 787 00:57:43,978 --> 00:57:47,262 Everyone stay where they are, I'll... Are we all here? 788 00:57:47,314 --> 00:57:50,978 - One, two, three, four, five. Yes. - There's six of us. 789 00:57:51,025 --> 00:57:53,313 Mum! 790 00:57:56,028 --> 00:57:58,103 I'm coming! 791 00:57:58,155 --> 00:58:00,859 Mum, are you OK? Are you OK? 792 00:58:00,907 --> 00:58:03,741 I don't think Jill and Derek do live here. 793 00:58:07,537 --> 00:58:10,109 Shaun? 794 00:58:11,165 --> 00:58:13,370 Are you all right? 795 00:58:30,721 --> 00:58:33,472 What are you doing? 796 00:58:35,558 --> 00:58:37,633 Shaun! 797 00:58:40,604 --> 00:58:42,430 Yes! 798 00:58:44,065 --> 00:58:46,306 No, that's rubbish. 799 00:58:53,780 --> 00:58:55,985 - Ooh! - Yes! 800 00:58:57,741 --> 00:59:00,065 Feel free to step in any time. 801 00:59:00,118 --> 00:59:03,237 - You did all right. - I didn't want to cramp your style. 802 00:59:03,287 --> 00:59:05,444 I'm so sorry about that. 803 00:59:07,249 --> 00:59:09,371 Right. 804 00:59:10,668 --> 00:59:15,459 OK, everyone stay where they are. I'm gonna check if the coast is clear. 805 00:59:24,303 --> 00:59:26,378 - Is it clear? - No. 806 00:59:26,430 --> 00:59:28,587 - How many? - Lots. 807 00:59:38,772 --> 00:59:41,807 Oh, well, that is just great. 808 00:59:41,858 --> 00:59:44,063 There are a fair few of them, yes. 809 00:59:44,110 --> 00:59:47,478 I trust Shaun has another genius scheme up his sleeve? 810 00:59:47,529 --> 00:59:49,734 This is hardly constructive, David! 811 00:59:49,781 --> 00:59:53,612 - We should have stayed at the flat. - Why didn't you? 812 00:59:53,659 --> 00:59:58,035 Because... Because, because of... Captain Wow. 813 00:59:58,079 --> 01:00:01,494 - Will you stop it? - We'll get nowhere moaning. 814 01:00:09,462 --> 01:00:12,088 Right, let's all shake out. Get nice and limber. 815 01:00:12,089 --> 01:00:14,661 Or not. 816 01:00:15,550 --> 01:00:19,297 Take another look at the way he moves. Remember, very limp. 817 01:00:19,345 --> 01:00:24,848 Almost like sleepwalking. Look at the face, it's vacant with a hint of sadness. 818 01:00:24,890 --> 01:00:27,178 Like a drunk who's lost a bet. 819 01:00:27,225 --> 01:00:29,300 OK, let's try, shall we? Liz. 820 01:00:33,105 --> 01:00:37,315 Nice. Good vocal work. OK. Barbara, that's excellent. 821 01:00:37,358 --> 01:00:39,848 Sorry, dear, I was miles away. 822 01:00:39,902 --> 01:00:42,653 - D-Daffs. - Uh. 823 01:00:42,695 --> 01:00:44,687 - Come on! - Urgh. 824 01:00:44,739 --> 01:00:48,154 It's mournful, sorrowful, you're dead and you hate it. Go. 825 01:00:48,200 --> 01:00:49,942 Uuurgh. 826 01:00:49,993 --> 01:00:52,946 - Much better. Ed. - I'll do it on the night. 827 01:00:52,995 --> 01:00:55,319 This is the night! 828 01:00:55,372 --> 01:00:57,779 - What is that? - What about yours? 829 01:00:57,832 --> 01:01:00,832 Who died and made you fucking king of the zombies? 830 01:01:00,876 --> 01:01:02,535 Don't... 831 01:01:05,254 --> 01:01:07,246 Yeah, that's pretty good. 832 01:01:07,297 --> 01:01:13,214 Right, let's all try together, shall we? One, two, three. 833 01:02:07,509 --> 01:02:09,417 Go, go, go, go. 834 01:02:11,679 --> 01:02:14,169 Shit! Get round me, get round me! 835 01:02:14,223 --> 01:02:18,682 John? John, Bernie, are you there? It's Shaun and Ed. We come in all the time. 836 01:02:19,560 --> 01:02:21,848 - They can hear you. - We do the quiz. 837 01:02:21,895 --> 01:02:23,436 - They know. - Stay in character! 838 01:02:23,480 --> 01:02:26,729 - I can't see them. - Shaun, we have to get inside. 839 01:02:26,774 --> 01:02:29,394 - Break the window. - We'll be exposed! 840 01:02:29,442 --> 01:02:32,228 - Break the window! - Is there another way in? 841 01:02:32,278 --> 01:02:34,317 Yeah, there's... 842 01:02:35,322 --> 01:02:37,812 Two seconds. Hey, Noodle. 843 01:02:37,865 --> 01:02:40,616 - 'All right?' - Yeah, man, I can't talk now. 844 01:02:40,659 --> 01:02:43,528 - 'You get anything yet?' - I got nothing. 845 01:02:43,578 --> 01:02:46,531 I'm in the middle of something. Yeah, it's weird. 846 01:02:46,580 --> 01:02:50,446 - Oi! What are you doing? - What are you doing? You stupid moron. 847 01:02:50,500 --> 01:02:53,072 - Fuck off. - You fuck off! 848 01:02:53,127 --> 01:02:56,660 Fuck fucking off! I've spent an entire life... 849 01:02:56,713 --> 01:02:59,962 Look at me. I've spent my entire life sticking up for you 850 01:03:00,007 --> 01:03:03,291 and all you ever do is fuck things up and make me look stupid. 851 01:03:03,343 --> 01:03:06,462 I'm not gonna let you do it any more. Not today! 852 01:03:06,512 --> 01:03:08,504 Shaun. 853 01:03:08,555 --> 01:03:09,835 Oh. 854 01:03:17,228 --> 01:03:20,062 You were saying about another way in? 855 01:03:20,105 --> 01:03:22,227 Yeah, there's a... 856 01:03:22,274 --> 01:03:24,894 What are you doing? 857 01:03:26,068 --> 01:03:29,317 - No! - Get inside. 858 01:03:29,362 --> 01:03:33,145 No, they'll follow us. Keep up the act, I'll have to do something. 859 01:03:33,199 --> 01:03:37,195 - What do you mean do something? - Hello, hello, over here! 860 01:03:37,243 --> 01:03:41,405 Come on, that's it. Come on, that's it, over here! 861 01:03:41,455 --> 01:03:44,490 Over here! Come on. Oh, bollocks. 862 01:03:44,541 --> 01:03:47,541 - Wait till I've gone then get inside. - Gone where? 863 01:03:47,584 --> 01:03:53,418 I won't be long, I promise. Come on, you pasty-faced fuckers, let's go! Follow me. 864 01:03:53,464 --> 01:03:56,914 Come on, this way, that's it! 865 01:03:56,967 --> 01:04:00,880 Come on. This way, follow me. Come on, follow me. 866 01:04:00,928 --> 01:04:04,509 Come and get it. It's a running buffet. 867 01:04:04,556 --> 01:04:06,761 All you can eat! 868 01:04:06,807 --> 01:04:08,882 Shall we go in, then? 869 01:04:17,065 --> 01:04:20,598 - Come on, Barbara. Leave those. - I think they're for me. 870 01:04:40,499 --> 01:04:43,250 - He's been gone a good 20 minutes. - 17. 871 01:04:43,460 --> 01:04:48,915 Either way, we need to think about blocking up this window. We're totally exposed. 872 01:04:48,964 --> 01:04:52,545 - How will Shaun get back in? - I'm sure he'll knock. 873 01:04:54,218 --> 01:04:57,171 - Let's get some lights on. - David, wait! 874 01:04:58,513 --> 01:05:01,085 - Power's off. - That's a good thing. 875 01:05:01,140 --> 01:05:04,590 - We mustn't advertise our whereabouts. - No, of course not. 876 01:05:04,642 --> 01:05:08,638 - Do we, David? - No, of course not, Lizzie. 877 01:05:08,687 --> 01:05:10,679 I'm just being proactive. 878 01:05:10,730 --> 01:05:15,141 There's no lights, no power. And there's a hole in the window. 879 01:05:15,192 --> 01:05:18,856 - You did that, you twat. - Somebody had to do something! 880 01:05:18,903 --> 01:05:22,816 We were in a spot of bother. Somebody has to take control of the situation 881 01:05:22,864 --> 01:05:27,192 and if none of you are prepared to accept that responsibility 882 01:05:27,243 --> 01:05:30,408 then perhaps...I should. 883 01:05:30,454 --> 01:05:33,869 - Will Shaun be gone long? - He'll be back soon. 884 01:05:33,914 --> 01:05:36,830 - How do you know? - I don't think he'd leave us. 885 01:05:36,875 --> 01:05:43,125 Wouldn't he? How can you trust a man you binned for being unreliable? 886 01:05:43,171 --> 01:05:47,796 A man whose idea of a romantic nightspot is also an impenetrable fortress. 887 01:05:47,842 --> 01:05:50,961 This is a pub! We are in a pub! What are we going to do? 888 01:05:51,011 --> 01:05:53,631 I could get a round in. 889 01:05:53,679 --> 01:05:57,462 Let's just wait for Shaun. We'll barricade the window when he gets back. 890 01:05:57,516 --> 01:06:00,599 What then? How long? Days? Weeks? A month? 891 01:06:00,643 --> 01:06:02,848 - What are we going to eat? - Toasties! 892 01:06:02,895 --> 01:06:06,512 - There's a Breville out back. - Great. Saved by nibbles. 893 01:06:06,564 --> 01:06:08,888 Must be why Shaun took us here before he left. 894 01:06:08,941 --> 01:06:13,068 - He's coming back! - Why? Because he promised? 895 01:06:13,111 --> 01:06:18,186 If he does, do you think his master plan will be anything more than eating peanuts? 896 01:06:18,239 --> 01:06:21,404 Is he just gonna stroll in and suddenly everything's OK? 897 01:06:21,450 --> 01:06:26,027 I don't know, David! I don't know any more than you do. 898 01:06:26,079 --> 01:06:30,656 But what I do know is that we're here now and we have to make the best of it. 899 01:06:32,375 --> 01:06:35,328 - Ed, get me a double vodka. - Right you are. 900 01:06:35,377 --> 01:06:38,496 I'll have a drink too. Would you like a drink, Barbara? 901 01:06:38,546 --> 01:06:40,751 - Hello. - Right, great, fuck it. 902 01:06:40,798 --> 01:06:44,462 We'll have a party and get completely smashed. 903 01:06:44,509 --> 01:06:48,256 We've got our nibbles. We've got our Mini Cheddars. 904 01:06:48,304 --> 01:06:51,885 - David! - We got Twiglets. Oh, look, hog lumps. 905 01:06:57,269 --> 01:06:58,846 Pickle! 906 01:06:58,895 --> 01:07:00,637 Hello, Mum. You all right? 907 01:07:00,688 --> 01:07:02,763 - Everybody OK? - Yeah. 908 01:07:02,815 --> 01:07:05,056 - Any sign of John and Bernie? - No. 909 01:07:05,108 --> 01:07:07,349 - Check upstairs? - It's locked. 910 01:07:07,401 --> 01:07:09,938 - Phones? - Dead. Same as the power. 911 01:07:09,987 --> 01:07:14,030 - OK... - Nice of you to join us. 912 01:07:14,073 --> 01:07:16,693 Yeah, well, I promised, didn't l? 913 01:07:22,454 --> 01:07:25,323 How did you lose them? 914 01:07:26,916 --> 01:07:30,580 I just gave them the slip. Wasn't difficult. They're not all that. 915 01:07:30,627 --> 01:07:33,413 - Well, how did you get in? - The back door. 916 01:07:33,463 --> 01:07:35,953 I tried to tell you before you smashed the window. 917 01:07:36,006 --> 01:07:39,374 But it wasn't me blowing our cover by arguing with my boyfriend. 918 01:07:39,425 --> 01:07:43,208 - He's not my boyfriend. - Might be a bit warm, the cooler's off. 919 01:07:43,262 --> 01:07:45,384 Thanks, babe. 920 01:07:46,889 --> 01:07:48,881 So, what's the plan, then? 921 01:07:50,934 --> 01:07:53,560 Would anyone like a peanut? 922 01:08:03,569 --> 01:08:05,774 Why don't you do your Clyde? 923 01:08:05,820 --> 01:08:08,855 Has anyone seen Every Which Way But Loose? 924 01:08:08,906 --> 01:08:11,859 Ed does the most amazing impression of the orang-utan. 925 01:08:11,908 --> 01:08:14,612 - No, it's not. - It is. Come on. Do it. 926 01:08:14,660 --> 01:08:17,494 - No, no. - But it's brilliant. Come on. 927 01:08:17,537 --> 01:08:20,702 - You've built it up too much. - No, just do it. 928 01:08:20,748 --> 01:08:23,664 Everyone wants to see it. We could do with a laugh. 929 01:08:23,709 --> 01:08:26,281 Do it, do it, do it, do it. Come on, do it. 930 01:08:26,336 --> 01:08:28,458 I'm not a performing monkey. 931 01:08:30,923 --> 01:08:34,291 - The power's on. - It's not, I tried it earlier. 932 01:08:34,342 --> 01:08:38,290 The streetlights are on. I'll flip the fuses, we can watch television. 933 01:08:38,345 --> 01:08:42,176 - What about the lights? - Yes. Don't advertise our whereabouts. 934 01:08:42,223 --> 01:08:46,054 The lights are on a separate circuit. Just flip the mains breakers. 935 01:08:46,101 --> 01:08:48,472 It's quite simple, David. 936 01:09:16,373 --> 01:09:19,041 - Is that it? - That's it. 937 01:09:45,270 --> 01:09:48,768 Liz, erm...have you got a quid? 938 01:09:49,857 --> 01:09:51,730 Erm... 939 01:09:53,693 --> 01:09:55,317 Yeah. 940 01:09:59,864 --> 01:10:02,152 Never anything on, is there? 941 01:10:06,745 --> 01:10:08,535 What? 942 01:10:10,539 --> 01:10:14,618 - I think we might have a bit of a problem. - What do you mean? 943 01:10:18,587 --> 01:10:22,453 - They followed me. - I thought you said you gave them the slip. 944 01:10:22,506 --> 01:10:24,877 Yeah. 945 01:10:24,925 --> 01:10:29,550 Well, we'll just have to be extra quiet then, won't we? 946 01:10:30,971 --> 01:10:33,046 What? 947 01:10:34,849 --> 01:10:37,303 Ed, no! 948 01:10:37,351 --> 01:10:39,473 Turn it off! 949 01:11:10,960 --> 01:11:12,916 Shit! 950 01:11:12,961 --> 01:11:15,665 - Where the hell did he come from? - I dunno. 951 01:11:19,591 --> 01:11:22,626 - Who put this on? - It's on random. 952 01:11:22,677 --> 01:11:25,926 Dianne, get Mum somewhere safe. David, kill the Queen. 953 01:11:25,971 --> 01:11:27,761 - What?! - The jukebox! 954 01:11:27,806 --> 01:11:30,510 - Liz, Ed, grab a weapon. - What about the rifle? 955 01:11:30,558 --> 01:11:32,633 - Cocktails? - What do you mean? 956 01:11:32,684 --> 01:11:36,182 The flaming spirits Get a rag in, light it. 957 01:11:36,229 --> 01:11:39,312 - But the whole place could go up. - What, then? 958 01:11:39,356 --> 01:11:41,312 How about pool? 959 01:11:41,357 --> 01:11:44,689 * Don't stop me now 960 01:11:44,735 --> 01:11:46,727 * Don't stop me 961 01:11:46,778 --> 01:11:50,027 - * Cos I'm having... * - John, it's time at the bar. 962 01:11:50,072 --> 01:11:53,903 * I'm a shooting star leaping through the sky like a tiger 963 01:11:53,950 --> 01:11:57,567 * Defying the laws of gravity 964 01:11:57,620 --> 01:12:01,912 * I'm a racing car passing by like Lady Godiva 965 01:12:01,956 --> 01:12:04,410 * I'm gonna go, go, go 966 01:12:04,458 --> 01:12:06,995 * There's no stopping me 967 01:12:07,043 --> 01:12:09,331 * I'm burning through the sky... 968 01:12:09,379 --> 01:12:12,295 - I can't find the switches! - Then get the fuses! 969 01:12:12,714 --> 01:12:14,670 * That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit 970 01:12:14,716 --> 01:12:16,921 * I'm travelling at the speed of light 971 01:12:16,968 --> 01:12:20,881 * I wanna make a supersonic man out of you 972 01:12:20,929 --> 01:12:23,051 * Don't stop me now 973 01:12:23,097 --> 01:12:25,219 * I'm having such a good time 974 01:12:25,265 --> 01:12:27,340 * I'm having a ball 975 01:12:27,392 --> 01:12:29,300 * Don't stop me now 976 01:12:29,352 --> 01:12:31,509 * If you wanna have a good time 977 01:12:31,562 --> 01:12:33,435 * Just give me a call 978 01:12:33,480 --> 01:12:36,100 * Don't stop me now cos I'm having a good time 979 01:12:36,149 --> 01:12:38,022 * Don't stop me now 980 01:12:38,067 --> 01:12:43,819 * Yes I'm having a good time I don't wanna stop at all 981 01:12:43,863 --> 01:12:47,906 - * I'm a rocket ship on my way to Mars... - Why is Queen still on? 982 01:12:47,949 --> 01:12:50,486 - We have a situation! - I know! 983 01:12:51,619 --> 01:12:53,860 - Fuck this. Two seconds. - Ed! 984 01:12:53,912 --> 01:12:55,536 Oi! 985 01:12:55,580 --> 01:13:00,406 * Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, explode 986 01:13:00,459 --> 01:13:03,578 * I'm burning through the sky, yeah... 987 01:13:03,628 --> 01:13:05,454 Shaun! 988 01:13:05,504 --> 01:13:07,661 *..call me Mister Fahrenheit... 989 01:13:07,714 --> 01:13:09,255 No! 990 01:13:11,175 --> 01:13:13,463 Yes! Yes! In the head! 991 01:13:16,262 --> 01:13:18,135 Ooow! 992 01:13:18,180 --> 01:13:19,757 Shauny! 993 01:13:19,806 --> 01:13:21,963 * Don't stop me Ooh, ooh, ooh 994 01:13:22,016 --> 01:13:25,964 * Don't stop me, don't stop me good time, good time 995 01:13:26,019 --> 01:13:27,975 * Don't stop me... * 996 01:13:35,652 --> 01:13:38,059 Why didn't you just shoot him, man? 997 01:13:39,488 --> 01:13:41,729 Ed, for the last time, it's... 998 01:13:45,326 --> 01:13:49,571 I fucking knew it! What did I tell you? Big Al was right. 999 01:13:49,621 --> 01:13:51,494 OK. 1000 01:13:55,166 --> 01:13:57,205 But dogs can look up. 1001 01:13:59,920 --> 01:14:02,492 - Has anyone fired a gun before? - Oh, yeah. 1002 01:14:03,006 --> 01:14:04,879 - Apart from Ed? - I'm a pacifist. 1003 01:14:04,924 --> 01:14:07,758 - Apart from David and Ed? - What was Ed's experience? 1004 01:14:07,801 --> 01:14:11,133 - He shot his sister in the leg. - I think you should do it. 1005 01:14:11,178 --> 01:14:14,427 - We should all do it. - How can five people operate one gun? 1006 01:14:14,473 --> 01:14:17,426 - No one has any experience. We've got... - 29. 1007 01:14:17,475 --> 01:14:19,514 - 29 bullets. - Call them shells. 1008 01:14:19,560 --> 01:14:22,679 29 shells. I need someone to help me reload, 1009 01:14:22,729 --> 01:14:25,266 everyone else to look out. I will fire. 1010 01:14:25,314 --> 01:14:30,354 As Bertrand Russell said the only thing that will redeem mankind is co-operation. 1011 01:14:30,401 --> 01:14:32,558 I think we can all appreciate that now. 1012 01:14:32,611 --> 01:14:36,275 - Was that on a beer mat? - Yeah, it was Guinness Extra Cold. 1013 01:14:36,322 --> 01:14:38,230 - I won't say anything. - Thanks. 1014 01:14:39,867 --> 01:14:43,032 - They want to come in. - Get Mum out of the way. 1015 01:14:43,077 --> 01:14:46,776 David, Dianne, let's go. Ed, give me some shells. 1016 01:14:49,040 --> 01:14:51,364 - Barbara. - Oh, hello. 1017 01:14:51,417 --> 01:14:54,500 - Would you like to come with me? - That'd be lovely. 1018 01:14:55,920 --> 01:15:01,209 It's nice to meet you, finally. Shaun's always talking about you. 1019 01:15:01,258 --> 01:15:03,333 - Really? - Yeah. 1020 01:15:03,384 --> 01:15:05,376 - Ah! - Barbara? 1021 01:15:06,804 --> 01:15:09,376 Are you all right? 1022 01:15:09,431 --> 01:15:11,304 I've got something for you. 1023 01:15:12,391 --> 01:15:16,174 Shaun's father gave me this. Shaun's real father, I mean. 1024 01:15:16,227 --> 01:15:19,808 - I'd like you to have it. - Barbara, Shaun and I have... 1025 01:15:19,855 --> 01:15:22,855 It seems only right. 1026 01:15:37,160 --> 01:15:39,199 I didn't want to say anything. 1027 01:15:39,245 --> 01:15:41,450 I thought Shaun would be worried. 1028 01:15:43,248 --> 01:15:44,990 Liz! 1029 01:15:45,041 --> 01:15:46,831 Here they come! 1030 01:15:48,168 --> 01:15:50,456 - Stay behind me! - There's one! 1031 01:15:50,503 --> 01:15:52,957 Sorry, we're closed! 1032 01:15:53,005 --> 01:15:55,329 - The safety! - That happened to me on stage. 1033 01:15:55,382 --> 01:15:57,539 Cock it! 1034 01:16:04,680 --> 01:16:06,470 - There! - Where? 1035 01:16:06,515 --> 01:16:08,507 Three o'clock! 1036 01:16:13,771 --> 01:16:17,435 - Oh! Over there again. Quarter to twelve. - What? 1037 01:16:17,482 --> 01:16:19,639 - 11:45! - Keep it simple! 1038 01:16:20,818 --> 01:16:22,644 Top left! 1039 01:16:24,821 --> 01:16:27,026 - Reload. - I'm on it! 1040 01:16:27,072 --> 01:16:29,194 Come on, come on. 1041 01:16:32,618 --> 01:16:34,444 Nice shot. 1042 01:16:34,495 --> 01:16:37,163 OK, David, Dianne, let's block up this window! 1043 01:16:37,205 --> 01:16:39,410 Ed, take over a sec. 1044 01:16:39,498 --> 01:16:42,124 - What is it? What's wrong? - Shaun, I'm so sorry. 1045 01:16:42,125 --> 01:16:46,993 - Mum, what's wrong? - I didn't want to be a bother. 1046 01:16:49,923 --> 01:16:53,373 - Mum, I don't understand. - The man in his pyjamas. 1047 01:16:53,425 --> 01:16:56,674 I didn't want to say anything, I thought you'd be upset. 1048 01:16:56,720 --> 01:16:59,803 No, you should've said. 1049 01:16:59,847 --> 01:17:03,012 - Take over a sec. - What's going on? 1050 01:17:03,058 --> 01:17:05,548 - What's up? - What the hell's going on? 1051 01:17:05,601 --> 01:17:08,850 - Barbara's hurt! - Just take over a minute. 1052 01:17:08,895 --> 01:17:10,803 Jesus. 1053 01:17:10,855 --> 01:17:12,977 I know first aid. 1054 01:17:13,024 --> 01:17:15,977 Just hang on. Mum! 1055 01:17:16,026 --> 01:17:18,516 - Mum. - Is she...? 1056 01:17:18,569 --> 01:17:20,893 Just hold on, Mum, you're gonna be fine. 1057 01:17:20,946 --> 01:17:24,111 - I never thanked you. - For what? 1058 01:17:25,450 --> 01:17:29,363 For these. "To a wonderful mum." 1059 01:17:31,329 --> 01:17:34,115 It's been a funny sort of day, hasn't it? 1060 01:17:35,165 --> 01:17:38,081 Oh, no, no! Mum, come on. 1061 01:17:38,126 --> 01:17:40,331 Stop it, stop it, stop it. 1062 01:17:40,377 --> 01:17:42,748 Mum. Please don't go. 1063 01:17:54,305 --> 01:17:57,305 - What are you doing? - We have to deal with her. 1064 01:17:57,349 --> 01:17:59,969 - Daffs! - For Christ's sake! 1065 01:18:00,017 --> 01:18:02,388 - She's gonna come back! - She's not going anywhere. 1066 01:18:02,436 --> 01:18:04,843 - She'll change. - She's my mum! 1067 01:18:04,896 --> 01:18:07,647 - She's a zombie. - Don't say that. 1068 01:18:08,690 --> 01:18:11,061 Move aside. I'm gonna count to three. 1069 01:18:11,109 --> 01:18:13,184 One... 1070 01:18:13,235 --> 01:18:14,693 two... 1071 01:18:14,737 --> 01:18:15,981 three! 1072 01:18:16,029 --> 01:18:18,815 - Don't point that gun at my mum! - Calm down. 1073 01:18:18,865 --> 01:18:21,402 Don't point that gun at Barbara! 1074 01:18:21,450 --> 01:18:23,904 - Ed, don't exacerbate things! - What's that mean? 1075 01:18:23,952 --> 01:18:26,323 - This isn't exactly fair. - Here. 1076 01:18:26,370 --> 01:18:28,243 - Thank you. - It's OK. 1077 01:18:29,498 --> 01:18:32,414 Please, can we just stop and think about this? 1078 01:18:32,458 --> 01:18:34,331 Tell him to put the gun down! 1079 01:18:34,376 --> 01:18:36,617 She's gonna change. You know I'm right. 1080 01:18:36,670 --> 01:18:42,007 And when she does, she'll kill all of us. That's what your ex can't seem to realise. 1081 01:18:42,049 --> 01:18:45,333 That's what this is about, isn't it? He doesn't like me! 1082 01:18:45,385 --> 01:18:47,875 He's always hated me and now he wants to shoot my mum. 1083 01:18:47,928 --> 01:18:51,675 - She's not... - You've never thought I was good enough. 1084 01:18:51,723 --> 01:18:54,972 - What? - We all know you're in love with Liz. 1085 01:18:55,017 --> 01:18:57,471 - That is not true. - Yes it is! 1086 01:18:57,519 --> 01:18:59,558 - That is not true. - Yes it is. 1087 01:18:59,604 --> 01:19:02,308 - What? - I know you only hung out with me 1088 01:19:02,356 --> 01:19:07,349 to get close to Liz and when she knocked you back, I was there to pick up the pieces. 1089 01:19:07,401 --> 01:19:11,148 I've come to terms with that, Daffs, why can't you? 1090 01:19:11,196 --> 01:19:14,564 Lizzie, I want you to know that my feelings for you... 1091 01:19:14,615 --> 01:19:18,777 David! There are slightly more pressing matters at hand here. 1092 01:19:18,826 --> 01:19:22,988 - Like "Daffs" pointing a gun at my mum. - I'm not being unreasonable, "Pickle". 1093 01:19:23,038 --> 01:19:26,121 - Christ, she's not dead! - She's finished. 1094 01:19:26,165 --> 01:19:28,287 For a hero, you're quite a hypocrite. 1095 01:19:28,334 --> 01:19:31,085 You've gone from a chartered accountant to Charlton Heston. 1096 01:19:31,127 --> 01:19:32,953 I'm not a chartered accountant. 1097 01:19:33,004 --> 01:19:35,209 - Well, you look like one. - Yeah. 1098 01:19:35,255 --> 01:19:38,290 - I'm a lecturer. - You're a twat. 1099 01:19:38,341 --> 01:19:42,040 She's not your mum. In a minute she'll be just another zombie. 1100 01:19:42,094 --> 01:19:45,296 - Don't say that. - We're not using the Z word. 1101 01:19:45,346 --> 01:19:49,294 Please can we just calm the fuck down! 1102 01:19:50,892 --> 01:19:54,509 Now, I can see what David is trying to say... 1103 01:19:54,562 --> 01:19:56,850 - Thank you. - Even if he is being a twat. 1104 01:19:56,897 --> 01:19:58,723 Yep. 1105 01:19:58,773 --> 01:20:01,689 And, Shaun... Shaun, look at me. 1106 01:20:04,444 --> 01:20:08,061 I can't begin to imagine how hard this must be for you 1107 01:20:08,114 --> 01:20:10,568 but we can't afford to fall apart. 1108 01:20:11,741 --> 01:20:14,575 Shaun, babe... 1109 01:20:14,618 --> 01:20:17,653 I know you don't wanna hear this... 1110 01:20:36,010 --> 01:20:38,085 You do it. 1111 01:20:48,019 --> 01:20:50,141 I'm sorry, Mum. 1112 01:20:51,521 --> 01:20:53,892 Do it! 1113 01:21:08,868 --> 01:21:13,409 Well...I think we're all agreed, you did the right thing there. 1114 01:21:19,125 --> 01:21:21,449 David, no! 1115 01:21:22,336 --> 01:21:23,664 David! 1116 01:21:23,754 --> 01:21:26,380 - Right, I'm leaving. - What? 1117 01:21:26,381 --> 01:21:28,953 - I'm not staying here. - David, it's suicide. 1118 01:21:30,717 --> 01:21:34,167 - I think you should go. - We will. We can defend ourselves. 1119 01:21:34,220 --> 01:21:36,674 - What do you mean "we"? - What do you mean? 1120 01:21:36,722 --> 01:21:40,588 Opening that door now would be a very silly thing to do. 1121 01:21:40,641 --> 01:21:43,048 - You gonna stay here with him? - Look... 1122 01:21:43,102 --> 01:21:45,390 - After where he led us? - Let me finish! 1123 01:21:45,437 --> 01:21:49,564 Shaun didn't ask you to come here. You came for the same reason I did. 1124 01:21:49,607 --> 01:21:52,393 - Get away from that door this instant! - But... 1125 01:21:52,442 --> 01:21:54,315 David! 1126 01:22:01,824 --> 01:22:03,946 I'm so sorry, Dianne. 1127 01:22:03,992 --> 01:22:08,071 Maybe I'm not the one you should be apologising to. 1128 01:22:10,581 --> 01:22:12,537 Shaun... 1129 01:22:17,669 --> 01:22:19,625 David! No! 1130 01:22:19,671 --> 01:22:21,995 No! No! No! 1131 01:22:23,799 --> 01:22:25,755 David! 1132 01:22:26,301 --> 01:22:28,506 - No! No! - David! 1133 01:22:49,402 --> 01:22:51,559 David! 1134 01:22:52,237 --> 01:22:53,944 Dianne, no! 1135 01:22:53,988 --> 01:22:55,612 I'm coming, David! 1136 01:22:58,909 --> 01:23:01,363 David! 1137 01:23:01,411 --> 01:23:03,284 Oh dear. 1138 01:23:03,329 --> 01:23:05,534 - Cocktails? - Do it. 1139 01:23:16,464 --> 01:23:18,206 Stay back! 1140 01:23:23,385 --> 01:23:25,211 Shaun, hold them! 1141 01:23:28,389 --> 01:23:30,215 Heads! 1142 01:23:34,102 --> 01:23:36,010 - Ed! - Hurry up! 1143 01:23:37,813 --> 01:23:40,220 Shauny, look who it is. 1144 01:23:40,273 --> 01:23:42,845 Fuck-a-doodle-doo! 1145 01:23:44,401 --> 01:23:46,060 Ed! 1146 01:23:46,111 --> 01:23:48,067 - Shaun! - Ed! 1147 01:23:48,112 --> 01:23:50,104 Don't groan at me, you thick fuck! 1148 01:23:50,156 --> 01:23:51,982 I can't hold them! 1149 01:23:55,618 --> 01:23:57,028 No! 1150 01:24:01,122 --> 01:24:02,912 - Shaun! - Pete! 1151 01:24:05,083 --> 01:24:06,991 I said leave him alone! 1152 01:24:10,129 --> 01:24:13,129 Ed. Ed! 1153 01:24:13,173 --> 01:24:16,256 Shaun, bar! 1154 01:24:27,350 --> 01:24:29,223 Ed! 1155 01:24:30,061 --> 01:24:31,969 Ed! 1156 01:24:32,604 --> 01:24:35,272 Ed! 1157 01:24:35,314 --> 01:24:37,222 What? 1158 01:24:37,274 --> 01:24:39,515 Chuck us a cloth, will you? 1159 01:24:52,703 --> 01:24:55,193 - Where are the shells? - They're on the bar. 1160 01:24:55,246 --> 01:24:57,783 Oh, fuck. 1161 01:24:58,290 --> 01:25:00,080 Ow! 1162 01:25:00,125 --> 01:25:01,749 Fuck it! 1163 01:25:01,793 --> 01:25:04,709 What are we gonna do? Where are we gonna go? 1164 01:25:04,753 --> 01:25:07,243 - The cellar. - Maybe we can get out! 1165 01:25:07,297 --> 01:25:12,253 - There's a hatch out on to the street. - You mean go back outside? 1166 01:25:12,301 --> 01:25:15,135 Oh, give us a fucking break! 1167 01:25:21,099 --> 01:25:23,340 Go! 1168 01:25:32,899 --> 01:25:35,104 I can see the street. 1169 01:25:36,194 --> 01:25:37,568 Come on. 1170 01:25:38,987 --> 01:25:41,062 Come on! 1171 01:25:41,948 --> 01:25:44,616 Why won't it open? 1172 01:25:54,582 --> 01:25:58,827 That's it then, we're trapped. "Hey, let's go to the Winchester!" 1173 01:25:58,877 --> 01:26:00,785 Whose fucking idea was that? 1174 01:26:00,837 --> 01:26:03,671 Man, I've really ballsed this up. 1175 01:26:07,134 --> 01:26:10,798 - No, you haven't. - I have, Liz. I couldn't save us. 1176 01:26:10,845 --> 01:26:15,636 I couldn't save Di or David. I couldn't even save Mum. I'm useless. 1177 01:26:15,682 --> 01:26:21,350 You shouldn't feel so responsible, you tried. You did something, that's what counts. 1178 01:26:23,354 --> 01:26:25,429 Yeah, I suppose. 1179 01:26:27,941 --> 01:26:30,692 Do you think they'll get through? 1180 01:26:30,735 --> 01:26:32,608 Yeah. 1181 01:26:34,029 --> 01:26:36,270 How many shells have we got left? 1182 01:26:36,322 --> 01:26:39,487 Erm...two. 1183 01:26:39,533 --> 01:26:44,656 I suppose we could take a few of them out if they stand in a line. 1184 01:26:44,703 --> 01:26:46,908 I wasn't thinking about them. 1185 01:26:46,955 --> 01:26:48,697 I know. 1186 01:26:53,710 --> 01:26:58,335 - What about Ed? There's only two shells. - I don't mind being eaten. 1187 01:27:02,175 --> 01:27:04,629 How are we gonna do this? 1188 01:27:04,677 --> 01:27:07,381 I don't know. Erm... 1189 01:27:07,429 --> 01:27:09,504 One of us has to go first. 1190 01:27:09,555 --> 01:27:12,757 One should do the other and then do themselves. 1191 01:27:12,808 --> 01:27:15,843 You should do me. I'll muck it up if I have to do myself. 1192 01:27:24,942 --> 01:27:28,310 I don't think I've got it in me to shoot my flatmate, 1193 01:27:28,361 --> 01:27:31,776 my mum and my girlfriend all in the same evening. 1194 01:27:33,115 --> 01:27:35,356 What makes you think I've taken you back? 1195 01:27:35,408 --> 01:27:37,281 Well... 1196 01:27:38,369 --> 01:27:40,740 you don't want to die single, do you? 1197 01:27:40,787 --> 01:27:44,570 Actually...I would like to be shot. 1198 01:27:45,624 --> 01:27:50,035 Besides, I've changed. I haven't had a fag since yesterday, I promise. 1199 01:27:50,086 --> 01:27:52,208 He hasn't. 1200 01:27:53,922 --> 01:27:56,246 Maybe we should have one now. 1201 01:27:59,551 --> 01:28:02,586 - You left them in my flat. - Yeah, in the bin. 1202 01:28:02,637 --> 01:28:05,672 - I was desperate. - Sneaky monkey. 1203 01:28:05,723 --> 01:28:08,972 - Sorry. - I won't say anything. 1204 01:28:21,318 --> 01:28:23,725 Come on, we're getting out of here. 1205 01:28:24,737 --> 01:28:27,737 - I might just stay here. - But we can get out. 1206 01:28:27,781 --> 01:28:31,314 - You two should make a go of it. - What are you talking about? 1207 01:28:31,367 --> 01:28:34,735 - I only hold you back. - Yeah, but... 1208 01:28:40,582 --> 01:28:42,621 Maybe you should have this. 1209 01:28:43,960 --> 01:28:45,702 - Don't you want it? - No. 1210 01:28:45,753 --> 01:28:48,706 I can't hit anything with it anyway, I'm rubbish. 1211 01:28:52,133 --> 01:28:55,631 - Ed, I'm sorry. - What for? 1212 01:28:55,677 --> 01:29:00,503 - Cos I was shouting at you earlier on. - It's all right. 1213 01:29:00,556 --> 01:29:02,880 I'm sorry too. 1214 01:29:02,932 --> 01:29:05,007 It's OK. 1215 01:29:05,059 --> 01:29:06,801 No... 1216 01:29:06,852 --> 01:29:08,927 I'm sorry, Shaun. 1217 01:29:11,772 --> 01:29:15,021 Oh, God! That's not funny. 1218 01:29:15,067 --> 01:29:19,976 - I'll stop doing 'em when you stop laughing. - I'm not laughing. 1219 01:29:32,580 --> 01:29:34,370 You'd better be off. 1220 01:29:44,130 --> 01:29:46,454 Bye, Ed. Love you. 1221 01:29:47,299 --> 01:29:48,923 Cheers. 1222 01:29:49,926 --> 01:29:52,001 I love you too, man. 1223 01:29:55,180 --> 01:29:57,255 Gay. 1224 01:30:18,156 --> 01:30:20,563 - Ready? - Ready. 1225 01:30:30,331 --> 01:30:32,738 Section One. Ready. 1226 01:30:32,792 --> 01:30:35,080 Zombies to your front. Fire! 1227 01:30:38,880 --> 01:30:40,504 Fire! 1228 01:30:55,058 --> 01:30:57,678 Oh, my God! Shaun! 1229 01:30:57,727 --> 01:30:59,469 Yvonne? 1230 01:31:04,232 --> 01:31:07,481 - How are you doing? - Surviving. 1231 01:31:07,526 --> 01:31:12,233 They're taking us somewhere safe. I thought you two might want to tag along. 1232 01:31:12,280 --> 01:31:14,568 Is it just the two of you? 1233 01:31:17,117 --> 01:31:20,033 Well, glad somebody made it. 1234 01:31:21,954 --> 01:31:24,029 Come on. 1235 01:31:36,923 --> 01:31:40,421 'Next, the story of ten-year-old Enrique Ramirez 1236 01:31:40,468 --> 01:31:44,464 'who fought off the reanimated corpses of his entire family. 1237 01:31:44,512 --> 01:31:48,010 'It's all coming right up on Zombies From Hell.' 1238 01:31:48,057 --> 01:31:53,180 'Six months on and, to many, the events of Z-Day must seem like a bad dream. 1239 01:31:53,227 --> 01:31:56,974 'As we now know, the phenomenon resulted from the use of...' 1240 01:31:57,022 --> 01:32:01,848 '..not something I ever expected as a newscaster to have to say on air. 1241 01:32:01,900 --> 01:32:05,268 "'Removing the head or destroying the brain." Incredible.' 1242 01:32:05,320 --> 01:32:10,657 '..to have a top band with us, talking about their work for the charity Zombaid...' 1243 01:32:10,699 --> 01:32:14,565 'The fact that the mobile deceased retained their primal instincts 1244 01:32:14,618 --> 01:32:18,317 'make them ideal recruitment for the service industry, 1245 01:32:18,371 --> 01:32:20,612 'as well as other roles such as...' 1246 01:32:21,957 --> 01:32:26,783 'He can't quite get it. Ooh! He's fallen, he's down!' 1247 01:32:27,336 --> 01:32:31,961 'I don't see nothing wrong with it but I know that some people would. 1248 01:32:32,006 --> 01:32:36,501 'But he's my husband, you know. I still love him and I got the ring. 1249 01:32:36,551 --> 01:32:40,215 - 'You go to bed with it?' - 'Course I do.' 1250 01:32:40,263 --> 01:32:43,595 'People can't understand why she's with him?' 1251 01:32:48,560 --> 01:32:54,347 'Initial claims that the virus was caused by infected monkeys have been dismissed...' 1252 01:32:54,398 --> 01:32:56,555 Hello. 1253 01:33:01,862 --> 01:33:03,818 What's the plan, then? 1254 01:33:03,864 --> 01:33:06,899 Right, a cup of tea... 1255 01:33:06,949 --> 01:33:09,653 then we get the Sundays. 1256 01:33:09,701 --> 01:33:12,072 Head down the Phoenix for a roast, 1257 01:33:12,120 --> 01:33:14,788 veg out in the pub for a bit 1258 01:33:14,830 --> 01:33:18,363 then wander home, watch a bit of telly, go to bed. 1259 01:33:18,416 --> 01:33:20,953 - Perfik. - I'll get the kettle on. 1260 01:33:21,001 --> 01:33:25,080 - Can I have two sugars, please? - Ooh! Adventurous. 1261 01:33:25,130 --> 01:33:28,877 - I might pop into the garden for a bit. - Go on, then. 1262 01:33:29,883 --> 01:33:31,958 Two seconds. 1263 01:33:42,893 --> 01:33:45,300 'Player two has entered the game.' 1264 01:33:46,271 --> 01:33:47,433 Ed! 1265 01:33:55,271 --> 01:33:56,371 Yes! 1266 01:34:01,431 --> 01:34:04,029 * Ooh, you make me live 1267 01:34:05,263 --> 01:34:09,047 * Whatever this world can give to me 1268 01:34:09,095 --> 01:34:12,879 * It's you, you're all I see 1269 01:34:13,811 --> 01:34:17,894 * Ooh, you make me live now, honey 1270 01:34:17,938 --> 01:34:20,800 * Ooh, you make me live 1271 01:34:22,444 --> 01:34:28,121 * Oh, you're the best friend that I ever had 1272 01:34:28,171 --> 01:34:31,536 * I've been with you such a long time 1273 01:34:31,582 --> 01:34:33,678 * You're my sunshine 1274 01:34:33,729 --> 01:34:38,016 * And I want you to know that my feelings are true 1275 01:34:38,067 --> 01:34:41,384 * I really love you 1276 01:34:41,436 --> 01:34:45,053 * Oh, you're my best friend 1277 01:34:47,668 --> 01:34:50,398 * Ooh, you make me live 1278 01:34:50,447 --> 01:34:53,596 * Ooh, I've been wandering round 1279 01:34:53,648 --> 01:34:57,900 * But I still come back to you * Come back to you 1280 01:34:57,943 --> 01:35:01,727 * In rain or shine you've stood by me, girl 1281 01:35:01,775 --> 01:35:05,559 * I'm happy at home * Happy at home 1282 01:35:05,607 --> 01:35:07,703 * You're my best friend 1283 01:35:10,239 --> 01:35:14,226 * Ooh, you make me live * Ooh 1284 01:35:14,282 --> 01:35:17,096 * Ooh, you're my best friend * 1285 01:35:55,687 --> 01:35:57,783 * I was so tired of being upset 1286 01:35:57,835 --> 01:36:00,145 * Always wanted something I never could get 1287 01:36:00,193 --> 01:36:02,420 * Life's an illusion, love is a dream 1288 01:36:02,467 --> 01:36:04,526 * But I don't know what it is 1289 01:36:04,573 --> 01:36:09,783 * Everybody's happy nowadays 1290 01:36:13,290 --> 01:36:20,104 * Everybody's happy nowadays 1291 01:36:22,175 --> 01:36:24,271 * I was so tired of being upset 1292 01:36:24,323 --> 01:36:26,586 * Always wanted something I never could get 1293 01:36:26,639 --> 01:36:28,698 * Life's an illusion, love is a dream 1294 01:36:28,744 --> 01:36:30,840 * But I don't know what it is cos 1295 01:36:30,892 --> 01:36:36,449 * Everybody's happy nowadays 1296 01:36:39,861 --> 01:36:46,759 * Everybody's happy nowadays 1297 01:36:48,620 --> 01:36:50,847 * Life's an illusion, love is a dream 1298 01:36:50,894 --> 01:36:52,990 * But I don't know what it is 1299 01:36:53,042 --> 01:36:55,138 * Everybody's saying things to me 1300 01:36:55,190 --> 01:36:57,417 * But I know it's OK, OK 1301 01:36:57,464 --> 01:37:02,973 * Everybody's happy nowadays 1302 01:37:06,349 --> 01:37:13,080 * Everybody's happy nowadays 1303 01:37:23,825 --> 01:37:28,112 * Life's an illusion, love is a dream life's an illusion, love is a dream 1304 01:37:28,162 --> 01:37:33,120 * Life's an illusion, love is a dream life's the illusion, love is a dream 1305 01:37:41,554 --> 01:37:45,673 * Life's an illusion, love is a dream life's an illusion, love is a dream 1306 01:37:46,228 --> 01:37:50,347 * Life's an illusion, love is a dream life's an illusion, love is a dream 1307 01:37:50,397 --> 01:37:55,870 * Everybody's happy nowadays 1308 01:37:59,198 --> 01:38:05,797 * Everybody's happy nowadays 1309 01:38:05,851 --> 01:38:07,862 * Days 1310 01:38:07,915 --> 01:38:10,011 * Bet you are tired of being upset 1311 01:38:10,062 --> 01:38:12,409 * Always wanted something you never could get 1312 01:38:12,463 --> 01:38:14,439 * Life's no illusion, love's not a dream 1313 01:38:14,484 --> 01:38:16,711 * Now I know just what it is 1314 01:38:16,758 --> 01:38:22,183 * Everybody's happy nowadays 1315 01:38:25,601 --> 01:38:32,116 * Everybody's happy nowadays 1316 01:38:32,171 --> 01:38:34,518 * Days *