Subtitled by 20010318@CHDBits
(HUMMING)
(GURGLING)
伦敦-皇家美术馆
我想我们干脆开除他 I suppose we could just fire him.
(ALL CLAMOURING)
当然，我们得给他三个月的通知 Of course, we'll have to give him three months' notice.
少胡扯了，这事让我来办 Stuff and nonsense. Leave it to me.
我去跟馆长谈 要他立刻开除豆豆先生 I'll talk to the chairman and insist on Mr Bean's immediate dismissal.
下一个提案 Now, then, back to the agenda.
加州的格利森美术馆 The Grierson Gallery of California
收到一笔五千万美金的私人捐款 has recently received a private donation of $50 million
要用来向巴黎的奥塞美术馆 to spend on buying Whistler's portrait of his mother
收购维瑟勒画的母亲画像 from the Musee d'Orsay in Paris.
这是本世纪美国人 最具历史价值的一次收购行动 It is quite simply the most historic purchase made by an American gallery this century.
洛杉矶-格利森艺术馆
就这么简单 It's as simple as this.
美籍画家所绘史上最伟大的作品 The greatest painting ever by an American artist
终于要回到美国了 is returning at last to America.
从现在起 “维瑟勒之母”将留在洛杉矶 From now on, Whistler's Mother lives right here in Los Angeles,
这幅画属于这里 where she belongs.
我们何时能见到这幅画？ When will we actually see her?
揭幕仪式约在二周后举行 各位都受到邀请 The unveiling will be in about two weeks, and you're all invited.
(REPORTERS CLAMOURING)
他们要我们派一位重量级的学者 They've asked us to send a scholar of great weight and substance
来主持仪式，并且待上几个月 to preside over the ceremony and stay on for a couple of months
开设课程和研讨会 of lectures and seminars.
罗森布鲁博士、卡特勒博士 Dr Rosenblum, Dr Cutler,
你们两位都有资格获选 you both hold high claim on this great honour.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)
先生，馆长来了 太好了，叫他进来 The chairman is here, sir. Excellent. Send him in.
噢，去叫豆豆先生过来好吗？ Oh, and run and fetch Mr Bean, will you?
我们要开除他 太好了 We're about to fire him. Marvellous.
对，豆豆先生是本美术馆史上 最烂的员工 CHARLES: Yes, Mr Bean is the worst employee in the gallery's history.
(SNORING)
(MUMBLING)
(THUDDING)
(SNORING)
先生，你好 Good afternoon, sir.
坐下吧 Sit down. Sit down.
在谈到今天的重要事项前 Now, before we move on to the major business of the day,
我有个有关豆豆先生的问题想请教您 I should like to broach the question of Mr Bean.
豆豆先生已替我们服务多年 Now, Mr Bean has worked for us for many years.
将来也还会继续服务 And will for many years to come.
查理，我在你这位置时 就雇用了这位出色的年轻人 I employed this splendid young man when I was doing your job, Charles,
如果你敢威胁他，我就辞职 and you can have my resignation if you go anywhere near him.
(SNORTS)
(TRUMPETING)
(BLOWS RASPBERRY)
他是个好青年 He's a fine young fellow.
没错，完全正确 Absolutely. Quite right.
很好，那继续 Very well, moving on.
加州的格利森美术馆需要 我们伟大的画廊派一位代表 The Grierson Gallery of California needs a representative of our great gallery.
他们要找一位地位崇高的学者 They're looking for a scholar of a very high standing.
我因此决定推荐此职 I have therefore decided to recommend for the post,
以及附带的三个月假期 and the threemonth sabbatical that goes with it,
给这位出色的员工 that splendid employee,
豆豆先生 Mr Bean.
同意的举手？ All those in favour?
好！ ALL: Yes!
太好了，都同意 Excellent. Carried.
我们的损失是美国的收获 Our loss is America's gain.
格利森美术馆
大卫，我收到皇家美术馆的来信 (CLEARS THROAT) David, got a letter from the Royal National Gallery.
他们要推荐一个叫豆豆的人当代表 They're recommending a guy called Bean to represent them.
豆豆？ Bean?
没听过这号人物 I can't say I've heard of him.
这封信是由罗森布鲁和卡特勒博士 联名签署的 Well, the letter's signed by Drs Rosenblum and Cutler.
哇，真了不起 他们说 Well, that's impressive. They say,
“他无庸置疑的天才 使我们微不足道的才能显得渺小” "He's a man whose incontrovertible genius dwarfs our own meagre talents."
罗森布鲁和卡特勒这样说吗？ DAVID: Rosenblum and Cutler said that?
你要英国的顶尖人物 我相信我已经完成任务了 Well, you asked for England's top man. I do believe I delivered him.
他听来绝对像是那号人物 He certainly sounds like it.
不过在确定之前，我们的波妮丝 仍认为若能从娱乐界找个人来 However, before we confirm, Bernice here still feels that we'd get more media attention
就会博得更多媒体注意 if we had someone from, let's say, the entertainment industry.
我真心相信可以找邦乔飞来 I genuinely believe that we could get Jon Bon Jovi.
邦乔飞？ Jon Bon Jovi?
来为“维瑟勒之母”揭幕？ 对 To unveil Whistler's Mother? Yes.
我倒不是反对邦乔飞 I've nothing against Jon Bon Jovi.
他过去十年内出现两次漂亮发型 The man has had two great hairstyles in the last 10 years,
这已是不容小觑的成就了 which is an achievement not to be sniffed at,
但就我所知 but so far as I know,
乔飞先生对十九世纪印象派画作 一窍不通 Mr Jovi knows absolutely nothing about 19thcentury lmpressionism.
他最近的歌曲里也完全没提 He certainly hasn't mentioned it in any of his recent songs.
不，可是大卫… 这又不是摇滚乐MV No, but David... This is not a rock video.
这是伟大而严肃的艺术作品 This is a great and serious work of art,
豆豆先生会让该场合增加深度和尊严 and Dr Bean will give the occasion depth and dignity.
(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)
你说的没错，我们就用豆豆先生 乔治… You're right. We go with Bean. George...
不不不，大卫是我们评议员 No, no, no, no, David's our curator.
应该由大卫来说 这是他的决定、他的责任 This is David's call. It's his decision, his responsibility,
如果要砍也是砍他的头 ultimately, his neck.
你要他住哪里？ 我有个妙主意 And where do you want him to stay? I have a rather interesting idea.
这里？ Here?
在我们家住两个月？ In our house for two months?
(MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)
怎么，洛杉矶突然没旅馆了吗？ David, what, suddenly there's no hotels in Los Angeles?
喂，不要那么紧张，我只是想 Okay, there's no need to get excited here. I just thought, you know,
他是英国皇家美术馆的顶尖人物 this is the Royal National Gallery of England's top man.
我想有他相伴一定很有趣 I thought he'd be very exciting to have around,
可以跟他学习、谈天… to learn from and talk to and...
这位新来的好朋友 我们对他知道多少？ So do we know anything about our new best friend?
如果他是恶名昭彰的连环杀手 他们一定会提 No, but I think they might have mentioned it if he was a notorious serial killer.
庞克，你觉得走运吗？ Are you feeling lucky, punk?
(SNARLS)
大卫，我们国家有句俗谚 David, you know, we have an expression in this country.
就是“死也不准” 艾莉 It says, "Over my dead body." Ali.
我此时此刻就要这么说 I'd like to put it on the table right here and now.
这次良机难逢 对孩子们绝对是好事 This is a onceinalifetime opportunity, and it could be seriously great for the kids.
开什么玩笑 拜托，会很愉快的啦！ You're kidding. Come on, it's gonna be great!
假设这里有张表 Let's say there is a chart
上面是你这辈子遇过最聪明的人 of the most intelligent people you've ever met in your life.
那么占首位的无庸置疑是豆豆先生 Well, at number one with a bullet is Dr Bean.
凯文，记得你有时候会问我一些 我无法回答的问题吗？ Kevin, you know how sometimes you ask me questions that I can't answer?
就像“子宫圈是什么？” Like, "What is an intrauterine device?"
我比较常思考“生命有何意义？” Well, I think more like, "What's the meaning of life?"
这我可从没问过 随便啦 I never asked you that. That's fine. It doesn't matter.
我只是说豆豆先生是非常杰出的人 What I am saying here is that Dr Bean is a very remarkable man.
更何况他说不定很可爱呢 Hey, for all you know, he could be very cute.
拜托，他绝对会是怪咖 所有英国人都是丑八怪 Oh, come on, the guy is gonna be a creep. All Englishmen are ugly.
我光看查理王子就想哭 I just look at Prince Charles and weep.
好，所以他看来像肉块先生的屁股 Okay, so he's gonna look like Meat Loaf's butt.
对，那样还算我们走运 Yeah, and that's if we get lucky.
珍妮佛，又没有人要你嫁给他 Jennifer, no one is asking you to marry him.
我不知道我们干嘛开家庭会议 You know, I don't know why we have these family conferences
老爸根本就已做了决定 if Dad's already made up his mind.
善解人意的孩子 肉块的屁股又怎样？ Perceptive child. Hey, what's wrong with Meat Loaf's butt?
好了啦，会很好玩的！ Oh, come on, everybody, it's gonna be great!
豆豆先生是最超级的天才 Dr Bean is a genius of the very highest order.
晚安 Good evening.
(GURGLES)
不，先生，您是坐头等舱的 No, sir, you're in fact in first class.
晚安 Good evening.
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
晚安，先生，我替你拿外套好吗？ Good evening, sir. May I take your coat?
谢谢 Thank you.
(SIGHS)
(GIGGLES AND SNORTS)
好，简单的海报，又漂亮又大 Good. Simple poster, nice and big.
这是实际尺寸，特价9.99美金 It's actual size. A bargain at $9.99.
史宝瑟？ 是，先生 WALTER: Spencer? Yes, sir.
浴巾 Bath towel.
对，华特，你太过份了一点哦 Yeah, pushing your luck a little here, Walter.
会大卖的 It'll sell.
是“维瑟勒之姐”唷 少开玩笑了 It's Whistler's Sister. Oh, you are kidding.
不，先生，我们有他们全家 每位成员的系列画作 No, sir, we have a range for every member of the family.
维瑟勒母亲的饼干、巧克力脆片 Whistler's Mother's Cookies, chocolate chip,
维瑟勒父亲的啤酒杯 Whistler's Father's Beer Mug,
这里还有专给年轻兄弟系列的 and here's a really cute one for the youngerbrother range,
维瑟勒的哨子 对 Whistler's Whistle. DAVID: Yeah.
只要对她屁股吹气就好，来试试 对，对，我… You just blow up her ass. Here, try. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I...
妈咪，我不舒服 Mummy, I don't feel well.
我好像要吐了 I think I'm gonna be sick.
(SQUISHING)
先生，在这里 请注意 Just here, sir. MAN ON PA: Your attention, please.
欢迎来到洛杉矶国际机场 Welcome to Los Angeles International Airport.
请注意看紧自己的行李 Do not leave baggage or other items unattended.
喂！ Hey!
豆豆博士 就快了，我想我们要找的人 长得像布莱德彼特 Any second now. I think we're looking for a Brad Pitt lookalike.
警察！ OFFICER: Police!
抓住他！快点！ Get on him now! Move it!
警察！快点！小心些！大家让开！ Police! Come on! Come on, watch it! Watch it! Everybody, out of the way!
追缉骚动中，男人持枪闯入 第二航厦的第十区 In pursuit of a 415. Male with a gun heading into zone 10, terminal 2.
带人手过来！ Get your people over here now!
快走开！别挡路！ Get out of the way! Get out of the way!
快点！快点！ Move it! Move! Move! Move!
警察！借过！ Police! Coming through!
小姐让路！小心点，快！ Come on, lady! Watch it! Move!
他在那里！ There he is! There he is!
快！快！警察！ Move! Move! Move! Police!
大家趴下！ Everyone on the floor now!
(WOMAN SCREAMS)
甜心，你不用趴下 噢，对喔 Not you, sweetie. Oh, right.
(GUNS COCKING)
小心拿出武器，用两只手指抓住枪托 Carefully take out your weapon, holding the butt with two fingers only.
慢慢放在地上，然后退后三步 Slowly place it on the floor and take three steps back.
这是干嘛？ 不知道，好怪 What is this? I don't know. Weird.
豆豆先生，你目前有吃药吗？ Mr Bean, are you presently on any kind of medication?
据我所知是没有 Not that I know of.
你实在可以吃点药 Well, you can certainly use some.
那么博士… 豆豆 So, Doctor... Bean.
对，豆豆博士，你到美国了 Yes, okay, Dr Bean. Well, you made it.
旅途顺利吧？ Nice flight?
这是凯文 Well, this is Kevin,
这是珍妮佛，她非常兴奋能见到你 and this is Jennifer. She's been very excited about meeting you.
我太太艾莉森 My wife, Alison.
大卫，我们可否在厨房小谈片刻？ David, could I just have the tiniest talk with you in the kitchen?
好，我们要… All right, yeah. We're just gonna...
他第一眼看来有点古怪，我很欣慰 I appreciate that on first viewing he seems a little eccentric.
大卫，有火星人 David, there are Martians
因为长相怪异而被逐出火星 who have been exiled from Mars for looking weird
这人比他们还不正常 who look less weird than this guy.
他有种朴质的天性，可是每次… 他今天就得走 He has an original quality, but every time... He goes today.
哇！真了不起！ Wow! That was amazing!
太酷了，你可以这样吗？ That's really cool. Hey, can you do this?
不行，但我可以这样 No, but I can do this.
好耶！哇！你是怎么做的？ Neat! Wow! How do you do that?
魔术 Magic.
你会告诉他吧？ 会，我会说 Okay, so you're gonna tell him? I'll do it. Yes.
今天？ 对啦，今天 Today? Yes, today, today, today.
就今天了 很好 Today seems like a good day. Good.
(CLANGING)
先生，一个不寻常的开始 Well, sir, an unorthodox start.
我本就不期待在如此杰出的你身边 会发生平常的事 I guess I never expected things with a man of your calibre to be normal.
我得承认 我从没看过你写的任何东西 I gotta confess. I've never actually read anything you've written.
告诉我，博士 你在美术馆的职位究竟是什么？ Tell me, Doctor, what exactly is your position at the gallery?
我坐在角落 I sit in the corner
看着画作 and look at the paintings.
太棒了！ That is brilliant!
要是更多学者也这样就好了 光是坐着看就好 If only more scholars would do that, you know, just sit and look.
而不要授课、写作或争辩 You know, not lecture and write and argue,
只要坐着看画作本身 just sit and look at the paintings themselves.
那实在太棒了，对 Now, that is brilliant. Yeah.
对 Yes.
早啊，艾尔莫 早安，先生 Morning, Elmer. Good morning, sir.
豆豆博士？ Dr Bean?
先生，请签到好吗？ ELMER: If you'd like to sign in, sir?
谢谢，豆豆博士，欢迎来到格利森 Thank you. Welcome to the Grierson, Dr Bean.
欢迎到我的世界 Welcome to my world.
我们要在早上9点到格利森的办公室 We're expected in Grierson's office at 9:00 a.m.
他不喜欢等人，所以如果你… Now, this is a man who does not like to be kept waiting, so if you...
我是否可以… 当然可以，没问题 Do you mind if I... Yeah, okay, absolutely. You bet.
好 All right.
(HUMMING)
(GASPS)
(MOANS CONTENTEDLY)
嗨 Hi.
(HUMMING)
(GROANS)
博士，我们该走了，迟到很久了 Doctor, we should make a move. We're very late.
(GRUNTS)
噢，我们…博士，如果… 等你准备好就走 Oh. We... Doctor, we... lf... When you're ready.
好 Okay.
大卫，总算来了 GEORGE: David, finally.
这位一定就是越洋而来的教授了 And this must be our professor from across the sea.
对，乔治格利森，这位是豆豆博士 Yes, George Grierson, this is Dr Bean.
博士，很高兴见到你 I'm delighted, Doctor.
其实，我不是… 豆豆博士？ Actually, I'm not... PHOTOGRAPHER: Dr Bean?
豆豆博士？ 先生，我们可否拍张照？ Dr Bean? Can we get a photo, please, sir?
就在这里 博士，我们听说了好多你的事 Right here. We've heard a great deal about you, Doctor.
谢谢各位 我们对你期待殊甚 PHOTOGRAPHER: Thank you, gentlemen. We expect a great deal of you.
这是负责公关的波妮丝 博士，太荣幸了 And this is Bernice, in charge of PR. An absolute honour, Doctor.
谢谢，华特杭特利是我们的商品主管 All right, thank you. And Walter Huntley, our merchandise manager.
很高兴见到你 继续吧，博士，请坐 Nice to meet you. Moving along. Take a seat, Doctor.
谢谢，让我拿那个旧东西 Thank you. Here, let me take that old thing.
这已经过时很久了，谢谢 This is very outofdate. Thank you.
在我们开始之前，请先欣赏这些作品 Before we settle in, you might want to feast your eyes on these.
豆豆，我不妨直说，我喜欢这个 Well, I'll be honest with you, Bean. I like this.
真漂亮，我真这样认为 It's beautiful, sir. I think it is, yeah.
这边 好 Over here. Okay.
对 Yeah.
这块绿色满漂亮的 That's a lovely green there.
很好，咱们谈正事吧 好 Good. Good. Down to business. Okay.
我已请波妮丝简报过 揭幕式的活动顺序 I've asked Bernice to run through the order of events for the opening.
豆豆博士，你要过来吗？ Dr Bean, would you like to join us?
不，我只是… No. No, I'll just...
很好，波妮丝？ Very well. Bernice?
各位会注意到 所有跟特殊媒体要求有关的事项 Now, you will note that anything pertaining to special media requirements
前面都标有星号 is prefixed with an asterisk,
也就是有些受欢迎的周报 会要求亮面静物画 i.e. Glossy stills requested by some of the favoured weeklies, that sort of thing.
对，所以大日子的进程如下 Right. So the big day unfolds as follows.
我们慷慨的捐助者牛顿将军 Our generous benefactor, General Newton,
将于早上10点抵达 并会见工作人员 will be arriving at 10:00 a.m. To meet the members of the staff.
然后10点半我们开始画作揭幕式 Then, at 10:30, we'll have the unveiling of the picture.
这会在所有记者和媒体面前举行 Now, this will be in front of all press and media.
华特，我猜所有商品 到时候都可以卖吧？ Walter, I'm assuming all this merchandising is gonna be made available?
当然，从冰箱磁铁到飞盘都应有尽有 Oh, absolutely. From fridge magnets to Frisbees, we'll be ready.
所以大约在早上11点 豆豆先生就可以上台了 So it will probably be at about 11:00 a.m., when the stage is set for Dr Bean.
(BEAN HUMMING)
对，我们真该… Yes, all right, we really...
我们应该让博士加入 We really should bring in the doctor here.
豆豆博士？ Dr Bean?
博士，我们刚才在看计划表，然后… Doctor, we've just been inspecting the schedule, and...
你是否想看看你那部份的计划呢？ If you would just like to take a look at yours right over there at your convenience?
将军会在早上10点到 他在10点半时举行揭幕 The general should be arriving at 10:00 a.m., and he'll unveil the picture at 10:30.,
所以11点时你应该就可以演讲了 so at about 11:00, we should be ready for your speech.
好，我想20分钟应该够了吧？ Yes, and I think 20 minutes should be long enough.
波妮丝，你说呢？ 当然 Don't you, Bernice? Absolutely.
我知道你可以说上好几小时 I know you could fill hours, Doctor,
但面对记者，说精简一点比较好 but for the press, it would be best if you could keep it quite light.
也许再加点关于那幅画的轶事趣闻 Maybe throw in some anecdotes about the actual painting of the picture
说明它为何被视为美国最伟大的画作 and explain why it is considered to be America's greatest painting.
博士，20分钟够了吗？ Is that going to be enough, Doctor, 20 minutes?
亲爱的朋友，我跟市长约了吃午饭 失陪了 Well, dear friends, if you'll excuse me, I have a lunch with the Mayor.
我也不喜欢应酬，不过这是职责所在 Not the kind of thing I like, but duty calls.
博士，很高兴见到你 Well, Doctor, it's good to meet you.
真是一次复杂的经验 It's a complex experience.
好好享受住在大卫家的时光 他们很平凡却很热情 Enjoy your stay with David. They're simple people but warm.
大卫，可否跟你私下谈谈？ 好 David, if I may have just a private word? Okay.
对了，到新货区那里等我如何？ I tell you, why don't you wait for me back at the new acquisitions?
我马上就来，对 I'll join you shortly. Yeah.
先生？ Yes, sir?
他是天才对吧？ 对，他有点怪，不过… He's a genius, right? Yeah, he's eccentric, but...
对 对 Yes. Yeah.
为“维瑟勒之母”揭幕 是本美术馆史上 The unveiling of Whistler's Mother is the most important thing
最重要的事 to ever happen to this gallery,
豆豆博士是你选的 and Dr Bean was your choice.
这我懂 Yes, I understand that.
谢谢 Thank you, sir.
(STUCK IN THE MIDDLE WITH YOU PLAYING)
豆豆博士，我在想到家以后… Dr Bean, when we get home, I wonder...
到家以后，不知道你是否介意 When we get home, I wonder if you would mind
让我跟我太太独处一阵子 giving me a private moment with my wife.
我们需要解决一点小事 There's a little something we need to work out.
没问题 No problem.
嗯，我想…你在这等就好了 Yeah, I think... Just wait in here would be good.
噢，别理它，她妈妈给我们的 Oh, just ignore that. Her mother gave it to us.
感情价值很高，所以… Huge sentimental value, you know, so...
把这里当自己家，别客气 我跟艾莉森谈谈就回来 Just make yourself at home. I'll be just a couple of minutes with Alison.
噢，博士，我可不会那么做 Oh, Doctor. I would actually not do that.
那是限量版本，非常珍贵，所以… That's a limited edition. It's that it's delicate, so if you...
或者…把它放下就好，对 (STAMMERING) Or, yeah, if... Put it there would be good. Yeah.
好，那样…很好 Okay, that's... All right.
(EGGBEATER WHIRRING)
嗨 嗨 Hi. Hi.
豆豆博士不在？ No Dr Bean?
其实他还在，不过就让我… Well, actually, no, he is still here, but let me...
珍妮佛！凯文！ 我只是要我们…要我们… Jennifer! Kevin! I just want us... I just want us...
B计划！ Plan B!
你行李都包好了？什么B计划？ You have luggage packed? What is Plan B?
B计划就是 Plan B is,
如果你没撵走豆豆博士 我们就直接去住外婆家 if you haven't gotten rid of Dr Bean, we go straight to Grandma's.
真不敢相信你竟然… 又搞砸了哦，老爸？ I can't believe you... Screwed up again, huh, Dad?
拜托，现在没时间提这个了！ Oh, come on, there was no time to raise the subject!
凯文甜心，去发动车子好吗？ 艾莉，等一下，听我说 Kevin, start the car, would you, sweetie? Oh, Ali, wait a second and look.
不，你听我说，亲爱的大卫 我对你的要求向来不多 No, you look, David, my darling, I have asked very little from you,
但我要你撵走豆豆博士 现在你做出决定了 but I did ask you to get rid of Dr Bean, and you have made your choice,
你们两个就留下来 so you two can stay here
好好研讨后现代主义吧 and really come to grips with postmodernism,
我要带孩子们去我妈那里 but I am taking our children to my mother's.
再给他一次机会嘛 Just give him one last chance.
噢，大卫… 一次就好 Oh, David... Just one.
好吗？ Please?
好吧 Okay. Okay.
谢谢 好啦 Thank you. All right.
谢谢，等你认识他 Thanks. Once you get to know him,
相信你就会… 大卫，别说了 I think you're gonna... David, don't.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
嗨，博士 嗨 Hello, Doctor. Hello.
不，博士，那不是电视的，那是… No, no, no, no, Doctor, that is not for the TV. That's for the...
好，就这样走了 Yeah, well, there they go.
博士，周末就只剩下我们啦 Well, Doctor, we've got the whole weekend together.
好好认识彼此 Yeah, get to know each other and...
我在想明天可以玩遍洛杉矶 I was thinking tomorrow we might really do LA.
有美国印地安人艺术馆 还有加州州立美术馆 There's the Gallery of American Indian Art. There's the California State Gallery.
还有个叫洛波威兹的新馆 There's actually this new place, the Rabowitz,
展出抽象表现主义作品 which is kind of the place for abstract expressionism.
你觉得怎样？ Does that sound good to you?
还是你有其它点子？ Maybe you have something else in mind?
(I GET AROUND PLAYING)
太平洋公园
海龙
毁灭帝国之旅
“超可怕！”
(SNORING)
(ALL SCREAMING)
了不起 Incredible.
好了吗？ You set?
感谢您搭乘毁灭帝国之旅 MAN ON PA: Thank you for taking the Ride of Doom.
怎么不再买一张票？ 第二次说不定会更好玩哦 Why don't you get another ticket? Could be more fun second time round.
好 Okay.
准备罗 Brace yourself.
(ALL SCREAMING)
(SCREAMING)
(SIGHS)
(HUMMING)
他是天才？ 是他们说的 He's a genius, huh? That's what they tell me.
我看他根本就是个大草包 Well, he looks like a fruitcake to me.
你愿意为他的行为负责吗？ Are you willing to take responsibility for his actions?
(GROWLS)
你比我还勇敢 Well, you're a braver man than me,
我单手就能对抗 持有AK47枪械的混混 and I singlehandedly take on gangs armed with AK47 s.
带他出去，告诉他 我非常愿意揍他一顿 Get him out of here. Tell him his is a butt I would dearly love to kick,
而且下次就会动手 and the next time, I will.
博士，有件事情我们得谈谈 Doctor, there is something we have to talk about,
我不知道该怎么开口 and I don't quite know how to put this.
(BEAN HUMMING)
我担心的是… What I am concerned about is...
(DOORBELL RINGING)
不管是谁来，我都要把他赶走 Whoever that is, I am getting rid of them.
他来了 There he is.
大卫，抱歉我们迟到了 David, sorry we're late.
塞车！太严重了 噢，太棒了！ The traffic! Oh, terrible. SYLVIA: Oh, that's beautiful!
真不敢相信，每天变得愈来愈糟 You couldn't believe. Every day, it gets worse and worse.
她就那样…是绿色的关系 为什么？因为没人在管 It's just the way she... It's the green. And why? Because nobody's in control.
不，是黄色有问题，是黄色 她实在… No, it's the yellow. It's just... It's the yellow. She is a...
艾莉森在哪？ Well, where is Alison?
我有坏消息和好消息 Well, I've got some bad news and some good news.
坏消息是艾莉森一定要去看她妈 The bad news is that Alison has had to go visit her mum,
因为她生病了 太糟了 who, well, is not well. That's too bad.
天啊，真可怜 大卫，我真遗憾 Gee, the poor thing. Sorry to hear that, David.
好消息是豆豆博士和我要下厨做菜 The good news is that Dr Bean and I will be cooking.
你确定那是好消息吗？ 当然啦 You sure that's good news? Well, of course it is.
世界上最棒的厨子都是男人 All the greatest chefs in the world are men.
那有什么菜色啊，大师？ So what's on the menu, maestro?
我怎么会忘掉？ (WHISPERS) How could I forget?
我们到底要给他们吃什么？ What the hell are we going to give them?
我想他们可能想吃得正式一点 Yes, I think they may be expecting something slightly more formal.
洋葱？就这样？ An onion? Just on its own?
不，少呆了 No, no, don't be ridiculous.
那是感恩节的菜，艾莉森会杀了我的 That's for Thanksgiving. Alison would kill me.
不，一定还有别的 No, no, there must be something else.
你以前做过这种菜吗？ 噢，有啊 Have you ever cooked one of these before? Oh, yes.
但无论如何都需要五个小时，对吧？ But anyway, it would take like five hours, right?
也不一定啦 Not necessarily.
(BOTH GRUNTING)
你说呢？二十分钟吗？ What do you think? Twenty minutes?
我不知道 I don't know.
你确定这样可以？ You're sure this is gonna work?
好，就听你的 Okay, you're the chef.
炉上放点蔬菜，然后过来打招呼 Just put on some vegetables and come and say hello.
(EXCLAIMS)
大师！ SYLVIA: Maestro!
我的味蕾正热切期待着美味哦 My taste buds are positively tingling with anticipation.
不，谢了 No. No, thanks.
我想还是跳过前菜吧 I think we'll pass on the appetiser.
豆豆，星期二是大日子 So, Bean, big day Tuesday,
你的大日子，我的大日子 your big day, my big day.
我有个问题想问 I have a question for you.
(MICROWAVE BLEEPING)
他非常重视细节 He's very attentive to detail.
每件事都要做到精确 Everything must be just so.
(EXPLOSION)
豆豆，我想我们该开诚布公地谈 Bean, I think we need to be honest with each other.
我无法否认，过去几天以来 I cannot deny that, over the last days,
我脑中浮现不少疑问 some suspicions have begun to gather in my mind,
我只是想直率地问你几个问题 and I would just like to ask you some direct questions,
行吗？ okay?
第一，你是博士吗？ Number one, are you a doctor?
不是 No.
第二，你懂艺术吗？ Number two, do you know anything about art?
这个嘛… Well...
打个比方好了 Just for instance here,
达文西是不是美国篮球选手？ was Leonardo da Vinci an American basketball player?
是 Yes.
嗨，老爸 嗨，老爸 Hi, Dad. Hi, Dad.
哈罗，博士 Hello, Doctor.
再见，老爸 再见，老爸 Bye, Dad. Bye, Dad.
(DOOR CLOSING)
(YESTERDAY PLAYING)
好 Yep.
(DAVID SCREAMING)
噢，天哪！ DAVID: Oh, my God!
看在老天份上，豆豆，你在做什么？ For God's sake, Bean, what are you doing?
(PHONE RINGING)
喂？格利森先生，对 他现在跟我在浴室里 Hello? Mr Grierson, yes. He's just here in the shower with me.
你能否给我… Would you give me...
对，你好，格利森先生 Yes, hello, Mr Grierson.
不，你一定是听错了 我怎么会… No, no, you must have misunderstood him. What can I...
是吗？谢谢你打电话来 She is? Oh, thank you for calling me.
好，再见 拜！ Yes, okay. Goodbye. Bye!
真不敢相信 “维瑟斯之母”已抵达美国了 I can't believe it. Whistler's Mother has actually arrived in America.
不，听好，我站在 Now, listen, I am begging you
整个职业生涯都仰赖你的立场求求你 as a man whose entire professional career depends on you,
今天表现理智一点 behave rationally today.
根本没有神 There is no God.
你说呢？ What do you think?
框很不错 Nice frame.
太美了 She's magnificent.
大卫，干得好，每一分钱都值得！ David, well done. Worth every bright green buck!
真是与众不同，对吧？ She's something else, isn't she?
好了，各位，尽情欣赏吧 今早以后就要锁起来了 All right, folks, enjoy her while you can. After this morning, we lock her away
直到愿意出五千万的人出现为止 until the guy who paid $50 million for her turns up.
艾尔莫，我们要开安全会议吧？ And, Elmer, I believe we have a security meeting.
是的 That's right, sir.
这把密室系统的钥匙给你 And this is your key to the encasement system.
只有两把，我有另一把 There are only two. I have the other one,
所以如果画作消失 我就知道该去找谁 so if the painting turns up missing, I'll know where to come.
可否请你一起参加安全会议？ And if you could all join me at the security console?
博士，请留在这里好吗？ Doctor, why don't you just stay here?
也许看看原画能激发你演讲的灵感 Maybe a look at the real thing will inspire you for your speech.
留在这里，在我回来前别离开房间 Just stay here. Don't leave this room till I get back, okay?
(SIGHS)
这张表画出当天所有的保安点 This chart maps all the security elements for the big day,
如同以往的类似情况 我也替这次行动取了个代号 and as usual in these circumstances, I've given the operation a code name,
也就是“维瑟勒之母”行动 which is Operation Whistler's Mother.
这名称不算时髦，但还能用 It's not a snazzy title, but I think it works.
(TUTTUTS)
(SNEEZES)
各位不必担心 Fear not, gentlemen.
我们安装的系统能确保画作的安全 With the system we put in here, nothing will touch that painting
除非整栋美术馆被地震震毁 short of an earthquake that brings down the whole gallery.
(GRUNTS)
(HAWKING)
(SPITTING)
(IMITATES SQUEAKY WHEELS)
(CART SQUEAKING)
一把将军安全带进馆内 Once we've gotten the general safely inside,
保安重点就落到豆豆博士身上 the key figure, securitywise, will be Dr Bean.
我们要在不打扰大博士的情形下 保护画作 We gotta protect the painting without getting in the good doctor's way.
油漆稀释剂
(BANGING)
这门好像出了点… There seems to be a problem
问题 with the door.
画怎么不见了？ Where's the picture gone?
什么？什么？ What? What? What? What?
噢，天哪！噢，老天！ Oh, Jesus! Oh, God! Oh, Jesus!
哇！我的老天！圣母玛利亚！ God! Oh, Mary, mother of Jesus! Jesus of Nazareth!
等一下，我干嘛这么害怕？ 是你干的！ Wait a minute. Why am I worrying about this? You did it!
我只要出去告诉他们怎么回事就好 All I have to do is go out and tell them what happened.
太棒了！ Perfect!
然后他们会说 “是谁让他单独跟画在一起的？” Then they'll say, "Well, who left him alone with the picture?"
我就会说：“是我” And I say, "Me."
然后他们就说：“你被开除了” 我就说：“好” Then they say, "Well, you're fired!" I say, "Fine."
不，不！ No, no, no, no, no!
然后他们说：“开除还不够 我们要告你怠忽职守” Then they say, "Firing is not enough. Let's prosecute you for negligence!"
然后我去坐牢，我太太会离开我 我女儿变成娼妓 Then I go to jail. My wife leaves me. My daughter becomes a prostitute.
最后我进了死囚室 跟强暴犯同一间牢房！ I wind up on death row sharing a cell with Butch McDick!
好了，冷静点，我要冷静点 All right, calm down. I just gotta calm down.
好，好 Okay. Okay.
再让我看一下那幅画 Give me one more look at the painting.
噢，天哪，天哪！ Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!
这表示地下通风管也非常安全 ...which renders the underground ventilation ducts completely secure.
对，这样就放心多了 谢谢 Yes, well, that's good to know. Thank you, sir.
嘿，豆豆，你喝酒吗？ Hey, do you drink, Bean?
不 很好，我也不喝 No. Good, neither do I.
纽约队抓住球棒 MAN ON TV: The Yankees grab the bat.
对，看来很可能会有延长赛了 Yeah, this one has extra innings written all over it, doesn't it?
欧吉留在本垒 Ozzie hangs over the plate.
不过他左边有长传威胁 He's got the longball threat from the left side.
史密斯用力挥棒，球直达右野线 Smith corks one to right field down the line.
飞出去了 豆豆 There it goes. Bean.
还在飞 It's going.
太厉害了，各位！是全垒打！ Going crazy, folks! Going crazy! It's a home run!
红雀队已赢得… And the Cardinals have won the...
(BLEATING)
继续说 Carry on.
你想知道事情的真相吗？ You wanna know what the reality of the situation is?
好，那我说 Okay, this is it.
因为你住进我家，我太太就搬出去了 Because you moved into my house, my wife has moved out.
对，搬走了，她可能迟早会搬走 Yes, she did. She might have moved out anyway,
但这是第一点 but that is one, point one.
第二点 Point two,
我全心为艺术奉献 I've given my life to art,
但从现在起，我唯一能接近的艺术 and from here on in, the only art I will get anywhere near
就是我在人行道上画的画 are the pictures I draw on the pavement,
希望路人会在我帽子里丢点零钱 hoping passersby will throw nickels in my hat.
简单来说呢 I guess the long and the short of it,
我真希望自己从未出生 I wish I'd never been born.
昨日 (SINGING) Yesterday
所有烦恼似乎都好遥远 All my troubles seemed so far away
现在却都萦绕身边 Now it looks as though they're here to stay
我相信昨日 I believe in yesterday
突然间 Suddenly
我不再是以前的我 I'm not half the man I used to be
噢，不！ MAN: Oh, no!
头上笼罩阴影 There's a shadow hanging over me
我相信昨日 I believe in yesterday
突然间 Suddenly
(HUMMING)
划、划、划小船 (BOTH SINGING) Row, row, row, your boat
滑行在溪中 Gently down the stream
如果见到大鳄鱼 If you see a crocodile
别忘了尖声大叫 Don't forget to scream
(SCREAMS)
泼呀洒呀 (DAVID SINGING) Splish, splash, splish, splash
划、划、划小船 Row, row, row your boat
滑行在溪中 Gently down the stream
如果见到大鳄鱼 If you see a crocodile
别忘了尖声大叫 Don't forget to scream
(BOTH SCREAMING)
我可以解释一切 I can explain everything.
那就解释一切看看 ALISON: Okay, explain everything.
简直莫名奇妙，艾莉，听我说 不了，大卫 It's inexplicable. Ali, listen... David, no.
大卫，我回家是因为我想你 David, the reason that I came home was because I missed you
也因为我住在这里，他们也住这里 and also because I live here, and they live here,
可是我们等了五个小时 等到了什么？ but, David, we have been waiting for five hours, and what do we get?
一个醉汉和他那位来自外星的朋友 A drunk and his friend from the planet Zog.
我知道，听来是很糟的状况 可是你如果肯… I know, and it seems like this horrible situation, but if you could...
你如果肯听完这个恐怖的故事… If you could just hear my full horrific tale...
大卫，我想我们得分开了 David, I think I'm gonna have to leave you.
是吗？ You are?
那事情真的很糟糕 Well, then things really have gotten bad.
对 Yeah.
(SLURPING)
嗨，阿豆 KEVIN: Hi, Beanie.
睡不着啊？ Can't sleep, huh?
对 No.
我也是，一直在想裸体的女人 Me, neither. Can't stop thinking about naked women.
你呢？ “维瑟勒之母” What about you? Whistler's Mother.
只要能让你兴奋就好 Well, whatever turns you on.
待会见罗，月球人 Catch you around, moonman.
噢，如果你还是睡不着 可以到我房间来 Oh, if you still can't sleep, come to my room.
我的墙上有辛蒂克劳馥的海报喔 I got some great posters of Cindy Crawford on my wall.
泻药
凯文
(GRUNTING)
噢，糟了 Oh, dear.
救命啊！ BEAN: Help! Help!
男厕
(GROANS)
快呀！ Come on!
(GRUNTING)
(GROANS)
(GUARD SCREAMING)
(GASPING)
唷喝！ Hooray!
(GROANS)
噢，天哪！ Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
珍妮佛？ Jennifer?
不，不，你别以为可以骑上那辆车 No, no, no, no, don't think for one minute you're getting on that bike, Jen.
大家早安 Morning, everyone.
这是家庭规定 Total family rule here.
谁都不准走进死亡陷阱 No one is allowed on one of those death traps.
你答应过的 You promised me, Jen.
你也答应过妈妈要把怪人博士赶走 And you promised Mum you'd get rid of Dr Freako.
别跟我说话，我正在想怎么办 Don't talk to me. I am trying to think what I'm going to do.
那… 安静！ Well... Quiet!
母亲回家了
这边 This way.
是，女士 Yes, ma'am.
(REPORTERS CLAMOURING)
先生，真是我们的荣幸 欢迎来到敝处 What a pleasure, sir. Welcome to our humble abode.
不会太敝吧？我想要午餐哦 Not too humble, I hope. I'm expecting lunch.
当然，将军请这边走 先生，您先请 Of course. General, right this way. After you, sir. After you.
真高兴您的光临 Glad you could make it.
你究竟到哪里去了？ 对不起，家里有点事 Where the hell have you been? I am sorry. Trouble at home.
算了，过来 先生，有件事… Never mind. Come along. (STAMMERING) Sir, there is something...
将军，向您介绍我们的评议员 大卫蓝利 General, I'd like you to meet our curator, David Langley.
真高兴见到您，先生 那是当然 I'm delighted to meet you, sir. Of course you are.
先生，请这边走 Right through here, sir.
各位先生女士，这是美国的伟大时刻 Ladies and gentlemen, this is a great moment for America
也是一位特殊女士“维瑟勒之母”的 伟大时刻 and for one very special lady, Whistler's Mother.
(ALL APPLAUDING)
感谢我们杰出的捐助者 才能让她在此出现 And she's here today, thanks to our great and good benefactor.
请各位与我一同向这位军人 慈善家、仁慈的父亲… Will you join me in saluting a soldier, philanthropist, loving father...
对极了 MAN: Hear, hear.
…以及特别慷慨的艺术赞助者 牛顿将军致敬 ...and an extremely generous patron of the arts, General Newton?
谢谢各位 Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
我不是传统的艺术爱好人士 I am not a traditional art lover.
我分不出毕加索和车祸有何差别 I don't know the difference between a Picasso and a car crash,
但我爱我的国家 but I love my country.
我无法忍受让一群法国佬 I can't stand the idea of a bunch of Frenchies
拥有美国最伟大的画作 owning America's greatest painting.
现在就开始吧 Let's get on with it.
母亲，欢迎回家 Welcome home, Ma.
不管你做了什么，你真是天才 我爱你！ Whatever you did, you're a genius, and I love you!
其实是海报 It's a poster.
是什么？ It's a what?
大卫，时间到了 什么时间到了？ David? It's time. (STAMMERING) Time for what?
演讲啊 等等，什么演讲？ The speech. What? Wait. What speech?
大卫，恭喜你 豆豆博士关于绘画的演讲 Congratulations, David. Dr Bean's speech about the painting.
对了，当然，演讲 Yes, of course, the speech.
博士，尽量别超过一小时 Now, Doctor, try to keep it below an hour,
如果里面有笑话就更好了 and if there could be one joke in it, that would be nice.
《早安美国》才不在乎那些“主义” Good Morning America couldn't give a flying monkey about "isms" and...
你懂我意思吧？ 对 Oh, you know what I mean. Yeah.
不必太久，你就… 豆豆博士？ It doesn't have to go on for long. Just... BERNICE: Dr Bean?
就… 准备好了，请走这边 Just... Just... We're ready for you. Right this way.
你就… Just... Just... Just...
现在是今天的第二个重头戏 And now, for the second highlight of our day.
豆豆博士是英国杰出的艺术学者 他将做几分钟的演讲 Dr Bean, a great English art scholar, is here to speak for a few minutes,
别说太久哦 not too long, Doctor,
题目是我们新添购的画作 on the subject of our new purchase.
各位先生女士 欢迎英国国立美术馆的豆豆博士 Ladies and gentlemen, Dr Bean of the National Gallery of England.
好 好！ Okay. Yeah!
好 好！ Okay. Okay!
谢谢 太棒了 Thank you. Bravo.
太棒了 Bravo.
(GIGGLES NERVOUSLY)
嗯，那个…我是豆豆博士 Well, hello, I'm Dr Bean,
显然如此 apparently,
我的工作 and my job
就是坐着看艺术绘画 is to sit and look at paintings.
因此 So
我从这幅画里 what have I learnt
学到了什么呢？ that I can say about this painting?
嗯… Well...
首先，这幅画很大 Well, firstly, it's quite big,
这点很棒 which is excellent
因为如果画很小 because if it was really small,
要用显微镜才看得到 you know, microscopic,
就没什么人能看到了 then hardly anybody would be able to see it,
那就会非常可惜 which would be a tremendous shame.
第二 Secondly,
我就快要说到 and I'm getting quite near the end now
分析这幅画的结尾了哦 of this analysis of this painting...
第二呢 Secondly,
这幅画为什么会让这位先生 why was it worth this man here
愿意花五千万美金去买呢？ spending 50 million of your American dollars on this portrait?
答案就是 And the answer is,
这幅画值这么多钱 well, this picture is worth such a lot of money
因为这是维瑟勒之母的画像 because it's a picture of Whistler's mother,
我从跟好友大卫蓝利 and as I've learnt by staying with my best friend,
和他家人同住的经验中学到 David Langley, and his family,
家庭是非常重要的 families are very important,
即使微瑟勒先生非常清楚 and even though Mr Whistler was perfectly aware
他母亲是个讨厌的老太婆 that his mother was a hideous old bat
好像屁股后面插了根仙人掌似的 who looked like she had a cactus lodged up her backside,
他仍跟她在一起 he stuck with her
甚至还花时间画出这幅伟大的作品 and even took the time to paint this amazing picture of her.
这不只是一幅画而已 It's not just a painting.
这画里是他非常看重的 It's a picture of a mad old cow
一位疯老太婆 who he thought the world of,
而这点非常感人 and that's marvellous.
总之，那是我的想法啦 Well, that's what I think, anyway.
太棒了！ 太棒了！ Bravo! Bravo!
有惊无险 你把原画放到哪去了？ Home and dry. Where did you put the original?
蓝利先生，可以跟你谈谈吗？ Mr Langley, may I have a word?
你留下，闭嘴 Stay here. Shut up.
蓝利先生… 好了，我可以解释 Mr Langley... Okay, I can explain everything.
你可以解释什么？ 那幅画 What can you explain? About the painting.
什么画？ “维瑟勒之母” Which painting? Whistler's Mother.
蓝利先生，很抱歉 我是来执行警察勤务 I'm afraid, Mr Langley, I'm here in my capacity as a police officer,
不是当艺术爱好者的 not as an art lover.
是你的女儿，她骑机车出车祸了 It's about your daughter. She's been in a motorcycle accident.
(SIREN BLARING)
可恶！809亚当要求紧急通行 Damn! Request emergency clearance for 809Adam.
闭嘴！ Shut up!
(WOMAN SHRIEKING)
持械抢劫进行中 211 in progress.
男性嫌犯，可能持枪 要求立刻派支援 Suspect male, possibly armed. Request immediate backup.
继续超速 Keep speeding.
有罚单我就帮你撕掉 谢谢 Lf you get a ticket, I'll tear it up. Thanks.
停！小子，冷静点，停在那里别动 Hold it! Okay, easy, fellow, easy. Hold it, there. Right there.
嘿！冷静 Hey! Easy.
放下来，把枪放下 Put it down. Put the gun down.
(GUN FIRING)
嗨，我要找珍妮佛蓝利的病房 Hi, I need Jennifer Langley's room.
她约在11点时 因机车车祸被送进来 She came in at about 11:00, motorcycle accident.
别挡路，先生 Out of the way, sir.
(GROANING)
她在五楼东侧，坐电梯上去 She's on the fifth floor, east wing. Just take the elevator up.
(GROANS)
你… Just...
好 All right.
我很… I'm so... Just...
请站在这里，什么也别做 Please, just stay here and do nothing.
你什么都不做的话，就不会出事 If you do nothing, nothing can go wrong.
我现在要去照顾家人了 I've got to take care of my family now.
护士说这不是昏迷，只是… The nurse says that it's not a coma, that she's just...
说她只是进入熟睡状态 She's just sort of taking time out,
可是我们还没看过医生，所以我不… but we haven't seen a doctor yet, so I don't...
杰克森医生？ 什么事？ Dr Jacobson? Yes?
3号房需要你 We need you urgently in OR 3.
不行，我一点就得到4号房去 这是紧急状况 No can do. I'm due in number 4 at 1:00. Sir, it's urgent.
病人肾脏破裂和大出血 We have a ruptured kidney and massive bleeding.
好 Okay.
急诊室闲人勿近
对，很紧急 Yes, it's urgent!
怎么回事？ 外科医生马上过来 What's happening? Surgeon's on his way up.
终于来了，豆豆医生 At last, Dr Bean.
医生，这是45岁的男性 血型是B型阴性 NURSE: Hello, Doctor. We've got a 45yearold male, blood type B negative,
10分钟前送进医务室的 brought in by paramedics 10 minutes ago.
左胸有贯穿伤口 He's got a penetrating injury to the left chest.
我… 对，对 The... Yes, yes, yes, yes.
听诊器掉了 The stethoscope's fallen.
现在就让他进去 不，不！ Gotta get him in there right now. No, no, no!
请进，医生，看来胸部下方中了子弹 Come in, Doctor. It looks like a bullet in the lower thorax.
似乎使得肺脏破裂 It seems to have ruptured the lung,
腹部还有严重内出血 and there's severe inner bleeding along the abdomen.
医生，他醒了 Doctor, he's coming to.
好，用T70替他注射 好 All right, give him a T70. NURSE: Got it.
医生，要不要加长切口？ Shall I extend the incision, sir?
我们从胸骨切到横隔膜 We've taken it from the breastbone to the diaphragm.
可能要延伸切口到脾脏 We may have to extend further to get to the spleen.
(TUTTUTTING)
抱歉，这是我动手术的第一周 Sorry, sir, it's only my first week.
不，你是对的，医生 我们应该等照过X光后才动手 No, you're right, Doctor. We should wait for the xrays.
救命！这里有人快要死了！ Help! We are losing this guy out here!
看在老天份上，我们要支援！ 快！快！快过去！ For Jesus' sake, we need help! DOCTOR: Go! Go! Go! Get in here!
看着别让他发生失血休克 Watch he doesn't go into haemodynamic shock.
我们马上回来 We'll be right back.
电击！ 好，充电到2百瓦 NURSE: Defibrillating! All right, charge the paddles to 200 watts.
好 Got it.
准备！ Clear!
(SIGHS)
这是什么？ What's that?
(CHUCKLES)
很好，洗干净 Jolly good. Clean it up.
抱歉让你久等了 Sorry to keep you waiting, sir.
各位做得很好，现在来处理出血 Nice work in there, people. Now back to the bleeding.
这血从哪来的？我们得设法止住 Where's this blood coming from? We got to clamp it off.
J17在哪？ 怎样？ Where the hell's that J17? What happened?
第4手术室需要J17 他受到重大外伤 We need that J17 in OR 4 right now. He's got major trauma.
血太多了，我什么都看不到 There's too much blood. I can't see a thing.
再做吸入 谁去看看血压 More suction. Somebody check that line.
血压达到最低点 给我12号 Blood pressure's bottoming out. Hook me up with 12, will you?
心跳开始下降，他快死了 His heart rate is dropping. We're gonna lose him.
电子追踪仪怎么说？ 快呀，各位！他快死了！ How's the TMS? Come on, people! He's crashing on us.
可恶！ DOCTOR: Damn!
我无法判读 子弹在哪里？ I'm not getting a reading. Where is this bullet?
加油啊，各位 快，别让他死掉 Hang in there, fellow. Come on, hold on to him.
如果找不到子弹，他就死定了 我不能让他死 Lf we don't find it, he's a dead man. I am not gonna lose this guy.
他快不行了 NURSE: He's slipping.
他快死了，我得插进去 Sir, we're losing him. I've got to get in there now.
(SCOFFS)
医生，你不能…太危险了！ Doctor, you can't just... It's too dangerous!
(MONITOR BLEEPS)
天哪！ My God!
(CLANKING)
真惊人 心跳开始正常 Incredible. NURSE: Heart rate is stabilising.
血压回升了 Blood pressure's climbing back.
(SIGHS ADMIRINGLY)
你救了他！ You saved him!
(RAZZING)
噢，医生，感谢老天 我女儿发生车祸 Oh, Doctor, thank God. My daughter was in an accident.
都还没人来诊断过 No one's even taken a look at her yet.
我们着急死了，希望有医生会来 We're desperate for some medical attention in here.
可否请您过来？ Would you mind?
(CLEARS THROAT)
别担心，亲爱的，医生会替她检查 Don't worry, honey. The doctor will check her out.
噢，感谢老天 Oh, thank God.
蓝利先生、蓝利太太 Mr and Mrs Langley,
观察脑部损伤是非常精细的事 any kind of damage to the brain is a very sensitive thing to observe,
也许我们该退出去 让医生有空间做诊断 so maybe we should just step outside and give the doctor a little room to work.
第一位护士说我们不该认为那是昏迷 ALISON: The first nurse said we shouldn't think of it as a coma
比较像深度睡眠 but more like a deep sleep.
对，话是没错 我能不能问你一个问题？ Yes, that's sort of true. Could I ask you a question?
珍妮佛？ (WHISPERS) Jennifer?
醒来，醒来，早餐好啦！ Wakey, wakey, breakfast's ready.
珍妮佛？ Jennifer?
现在几点？ What time is it?
快2点了 It's almost 2:00.
能不能把时间往回调12小时？ Can you turn the clock back about 12 hours for me?
当然 Sure.
(GROWLS)
醒来！醒来呀！ Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
我不知道该怎么说豆豆的事 I don't know what to say about Bean.
他绝对是个强度10的大灾难 He's clearly a force10 disaster area,
可是老天爷啊，我很喜欢他 but, God help me, I like him.
但即使我这么说 世上也没有任何理由 Now, having said that, there is no reason in the world
要让你们其中的谁跟他有任何牵连 why any of you should ever have anything to do with him again.
(GRUNTING)
(BUZZING)
(SCREAMING)
妈？爸？谁在这里？ Mom? Dad? Anyone?
噢，天哪，珍妮佛 Oh, my God, Jennifer.
甜心，宝贝 甜心！看看你 Oh, honey. Sweetie. Honey! Oh, look at you.
妈，怎么回事？ 你出车祸了 Mum, what happened? You had an accident, honey,
但现在都没事了 but everything is gonna be okay.
史汀哥怎么样了？ 只有锁骨瘀青 But what happened to Stingo? Just bruises, collar bone.
他还没事，直到我去修理他一顿为止 He'll be fine, until I get my hands on him.
医生，你要去哪？ 你可不能走呀 Hey, Doctor, where are you going? Where do you think you're going?
我们要怎么谢你才够？ 不，你让我们太高兴了 How can we ever say thank you? No, you've made us so happy.
说吧，我们要怎么谢你？什么都行 什么都行 Tell us, what can we do? We'll do anything. Anything.
那我想你们可以让我再住一个礼拜 Well, I suppose you could let me stay another week.
(I LO VE L.A. PLAYING)
日落大道 Sunset Boulevard.
日落大道
(TYRES SCREECHING)
比佛利山
礼物唷！礼物！ 嘿，这是怎么回事？ Presents! Presents! Hey! What's this all about?
好重哦 谢谢 This is heavy. Thank you.
下一个礼物给珍 谢谢 Next present for Jen. Thanks.
看看我们得到什么 DAVID: Let's see what we got here.
噢，是泻药 哇，一整盒的泻药 Oh, look, laxatives. Yeah, a whole box of them.
嘿，这个给你 Oh, hey, there they are.
六颗蛋哦 Eggs, six of them.
芭比娃娃！ Barbie!
谢谢哦 你收到什么？ Thanks. DAVID: What did you get there?
Tada!
笑一个 Smile.
笑一个 DAVID: Give us a smile.
拜拜！ 拜！ Byebye! Bye!
阿豆，拜！ Bye, Beanie!
再见！ KEVIN: See you!
别了！ BEAN: Farewell!
出境
请看好您的车子 MAN ANNOUNCING ON PA: Do not leave your car unattended.
无人的车辆… 阿豆，这几天过得 Unattended vehicles... Well, Beanie, it's been
真离奇 surreal.
我想告诉你，你随时可以回来拜访 I want you to know you can come back and visit anytime.
好 最好在颇为遥远的将来 Yes. In the fairly distant future.
(CHUCKLES)
我知道这话听来很疯狂 (STUTTERS) I know it sounds insane,
但我真的会想念你 but I'm really gonna miss you.
好 Okay.
好啦，再见 Okay. Goodbye again.
(SNORTS)
全片终
(PICTURE OF YOU PLAYING)
(THAT KINDA GUY PLAYING)
(HE'S A REBEL PLAYING)
对，我通常也会待到最后 Yes, I normally stay till the end as well.
拜 Bye.
想走的话，现在可以走了 You can go now if you wish.
唉呀 Dear me.
拜 Bye.