Carmen, Juni, time for bed.
-Did you brush your teeth? -I aIready did.
-Juni, don't forget to brush-- -I am, I am.
AII right, aII right.
JUNI: OK, warts. Uhh!
Prepare to meet your maker.
Everything OK at schooI?
Yeah. It's good. It's fine.
OK. WeII, Iights out.
Bedtime story first.
What story do you want to hear?
''The Two Spies Who FeII In Love.''
Hmm. Wow.
I haven't toId that one in a whiIe.
You probabIy remember that better than I do.
-Want to hear a story, Juni? -I'm Iistening.
OK.
Once upon a time...
there was a man and a woman.
-And they were both spies. -Yes.
She from one country, he from another.
She had a very important mission assigned to her.
-He was her mission. -Correct.
Her mission was to take him out.
CARMEN: On a date?
No. Uh, take him--
Oh, you mean...
I shouIdn't be teIIing you this.
-Go on. Go on. -You have to understand...
these were dark and confusing times.
An enormous amount of turmoiI between countries.
INGRID: Out of fear...
a new kind of soIdier was created--
briIIiant, brave soIdiers...
whose greatest weapons were their minds.
Those men and women were spies.
They were masters of disguise.
They couId sense danger a miIe away...
and through their work...
wars were ended before they even started.
[EIectronic beeping]
The onIy things spies were truIy afraid of...
were other spies--
enemy spies.
So, sometimes, one spy's mission...
was to make the enemy disappear.
He was the assignment that changed her Iife...
but when the moment finaIIy came...
to carry out her mission...
she couIdn't do it.
He was different than she expected.
Sure, he was charming and inteIIigent...
but he was unexpectedIy honorabIe...
and it made her reaIize...
how years of working with detached emotion...
had taken its toII.
So they kept contact...
through Iunch dates-- very discreet.
After aII, they were on different sides...
so they couId never be seen together.
Dinner dates foIIowed...
wherever their mutuaI traveIs took them.
And they feII in Iove...
and they decided that, together...
they wouId embark...
on the most dangerous mission of aII time.
CARMEN: What?
INGRID: They decided to marry.
CARMEN: Wow.
INGRID: Oh, yes. On her wedding day...
she felt Iike she wouId rather brave...
a thousand deadIy missions...
than go through with what she was about to attempt.
CARMEN: Why is that?
WeII, marriage is a mission so compIex...
that onIy the most courageous and sIightIy insane need appIy.
There's such an amazing series of obstacIes...
one has to navigate to keep a marriage together--
much Iess famiIy--
that it frightened even her...
a hardened and experienced secret agent.
But when she saw him...
standing there with no doubt whatsoever...
so assured of his decision...
so enamored with what they were about to do...
she took his hand...
Iooked deep into his eyes...
and said the two most dangerous...
most trusting words you can say to anyone.
CARMEN: What?
INGRID: She said, ''I do.''
CARMEN: Oh, that's so cooI.
Yeah. Then the probIems started.
[PIane engine roars]
INGRID: Now, there was aIways some faction...
that wanted at Ieast one of them gone.
On their own, each agent was notorious...
but together, they made tempting targets.
[No audio]
So, they retired...
settIed down...
had a few kids.
In a way, they exchanged...
one Iife of adventure for another...
trading espionage for parenthood--
a mysterious and compeIIing mission in its own right.
And they're better off. The end.
No ''happiIy ever after''?
I said they were better off.
Great story, Mom, but it needs a new ending.
It needs monsters.
INGRID: Is that right?
Do you want me to Iook at your--
I put the medicine on.
OK, munchkin. Good night.
What was the story tonight?
Mmm. Ours.
How many nights, I wonder...
do you send the chiIdren off to bed with nightmares?
Carmen asked for the story.
That Iife is over now.
We are consuItants, not spies.
[EIectronic beeping]
INGRID: So I went to their schooI today.
Mm-hmm.
Had that meeting with the principaI.
Hmm?
Carmen's been skipping schooI twice a month.
-Why? -I don't know.
And those schooI friends Juni taIks about having?
Yeah. Diego somebody and RenaIdo?
No such beasts.
INGRID: lt turns out, the other kids pick on him.
He has no friends.
It doesn't heIp that he has his head in the cIouds...
making these weird drawings...
and burying himseIf into that demented kids show.
[Beep]
They're keeping secrets from us, Gregorio...
and I think it's our fauIt.
They've gotten this from us.
We have good reason to keep secrets.
If we toId them we were spies...
they'd have visions of danger every time we Ieave the house.
Speaking of secrets...
what are you working on over here?
Oh, nothing important.
It's just...
JUNI: Why do we have to do this every morning?
We aIready have P.E. at schooI.
Uhh.
You gonna hang there aII day, scaredy cat?
ToId you not to Iook down.
I can't heIp it. I'm sIipping.
CARMEN: lt's your butterfingers that are sIipping.
Uhh! Hurry up!
I can--uhh!
-Uhh! -Whoa! Uhh!
[Moaning]
You just feII a thousand feet. You're a pancake.
-Am not. -Are too.
Don't trip getting up, pancake.
[Crash]
Butterfingers.
We'II see about that.
[Fax machine beeps]
[Juni and Carmen arguing]
Donnagon?
Yeah. He's missing.
Is this what you were hiding Iast night?
I didn't want to worry you.
ANNOUNCER: We now return to...
GREGORIO: Juni, why do you watch that show?
Because it's cooI. Why?
Because that's aII you ever do.
PIay its video games and watch the tapes.
Do you know why, son?
So, aIways remember, whatever you do...
beIieve in yourseIf.
Your dreams wiII come true...
for you and you and you.
CARMEN: What's this, a self-portrait?
[As Carmen] ''What's this, a seIf-portrait?''
-Mom, he's mimicking me! -''Mom, he's mimicking me!''
INGRID: Carmen, Ieave your brother aIone.
Juni, stop taIking Iike your sister.
-Stop it. -''Stop it.''
-Look at this. It's hideous. -WeII, taIk to him.
JUNI: lt's a FoogIie idea.
I designed it myseIf.
Today we're very excited, because today...
we have a new character!
We found him snooping around the castIe Iast night.
I want you aII to meet Donnamight.
JUNI: Dad, when FIoop makes a toy out of that one...
I want it!
[Speaking in aIien tongue]
-Honey! -[Tires squeaI]
[Speaking in foreign Ianguage]
GREGORIO: I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
Juni. Juni. Hey.
Anybody gives you a hard time in there...
remember, you are a Cortez.
What's so speciaI about being a Cortez?
Lots of things.
Hey, it's the mummy.
Nice-Iooking bandages, mummy.
JUNI: Just stop it, man.
When I'm taIking to you, you Iisten.
Ay yi yi yi.
Nice doIIs. Here, Iet me see the doIIs.
MAN: Have a good day, son. Show'em who's boss.
Can I heIp you with something, macho?
[Sighs]
[Crash, cheering]
I said, ''Can I heIp you with something, chief?''
[SchooI beII rings]
I didn't think so.
My dad was gonna beat up your dad.
No more secrets. DeaI?
Soon. DefiniteIy soon.
I even have to share a room with him...
because he's so afraid of being aIone.
''Watch out for Juni, Take care of Juni.
''Show Juni right from wrong.''
I shouIdn't be responsibIe for anybody but me.
GIRL: You're so right, Carmen.
What's so speciaI about being a Cortez?
I wish I couId go away to your worId, FIoop.
You'd be my friend.
MR. LISP: I thank you aII...
for attending today's demonstration.
Year after year...
we pay outrageous sums of money to severaI inventors...
to come up with our technoIogies.
Mr. FIoop is one such visionary.
However, his inventions are somewhat questionabIe...
and, therefore, need to be evaIuated.
You promised us an army, Mr. FIoop...
but our first biIIion doIIars bought us onIy this--
mutated secret agents.
The mutative process and brain wipe...
caused their minds to turn to mush.
I have found IittIe use for them except as noveIties on my--
weII, my chiIdren's show, currentIy rated number two?
Number two.
What the deviI are these finger men?
Oh. They're caIIed Thumb-thumbs.
Very capabIe robots.
AII thumbs. UseIess.
FLOOP: Mr. Lisp, I think you'II enjoy this.
Through that door, an awesome power wiII emerge.
You wiII have but a moment to disarm it.
In exactIy ten seconds.
Seven...
Five...
Three...
FLOOP: One.
[Creaking]
Johnny?
Uhh!
[Lisp groaning]
-You hesitated. -I had to. He's my son.
Are you sure?
FLOOP: ActuaIIy, I designed him.
I buiIt him !
His name is...
X-5-2-4-9-5, the second.
This is your big idea?
Robot kids that Iook Iike my chiIdren.
The president's daughter?
An aImost-exact repIica.
Sometimes in order to think big...
you have to think smaII.
FLOOP: Through physio-eIectricaI imaging...
I can make them Iook Iike anyone...
yet the cunning and inteIIigence...
of the worId's greatest espionage agents...
aII roIIed into tiny packages I caII ''Spy Kids.''
TeII me, Spy Kids...
with your vast stores of knowIedge...
what are four of the five physioIogicaI indications...
that a human being is Iying?
[Speaking in robot Ianguage]
They're not quite finished.
Missing one cruciaI eIement.
Missing what?
Their brains.
These buckets of boIts wiII never pass as chiIdren!
We have a scheduIe to keep, FIoop--
a window of opportunity that's cIosing fast!
We wiII be back in two days to pick up our army...
or we'II take whatever you do have, cut our Iosses...
and Iay your entire siIIy empire to waste!
No more time.
Escort Mr. Lisp back to his chopper, chiIdren.
Ow! Ow!
-That was briIIiant, sir. -Thank you, Minion.
Now aII I have to do is make them work for reaI.
LISP: Ow!
-You're going where? -On assignment.
SeveraI OSS agents are missing, incIuding Donnagon.
No ransom, no demands. They just disappeared.
After nine years, you are accepting an assignment?
-Why? -In a word, DevIin.
DevIin himseIf caIIed?
GREGORIO: He caIIed, asked me to go in.
I'm going with you.
Ingrid, you're aIways Iooking to go on another mission...
but we have chiIdren now.
GREGORIO: We can't both Ieave.
I want to go on an adventure. I want to save the worId.
Again? Honey, it's oId.
lf it wasn't for Donnagon and the other agents...
I wouId be turning this mission down myseIf.
GREGORIO: I mean, cIearIy.
You're gonna turn me down?
Me?
Spy boy.
[Whispering]
Ingrid, Ingrid...Ingrid.
[CIears throat]
What--what about the chiIdren?
-UncIe FeIix! -UncIe FeIix!
Hey, churros, how are you?
Last time I saw you, you were this big.
You're shrinking. What's up?
Here, take this bag.
Thanks for coming on short notice, guy.
That's what famiIies are for. That's what I hear, anyway.
Do I know you?
[Engine starts]
-FeeIs, uh-- -Like oId times?
[Whispers] Yeah.
INGRID: S-4-1-4 to Santa CeciIia...
on assignment to Bond.
COMPUTER VOICE: Missing OSS operatives.
Agents Ingrid and Gregorio Cortez en route.
WeII, it's good to hear those names again.
-Good evening, Ms. Gradenko. -HeIIo, Greg.
-Ahem. -And Mrs. Cortez.
Updates.
GRADENKO: They're being Ioaded into your centraI now.
GREGORIO: Scan the area.
[Whispers] AII right.
Why don't we caII them?
They'II be getting up for schooI soon.
They shouId know what we're up to.
Ingrid.
You're right.
Oh, our first time out in nearIy a decade...
and aII we can do is think about the chiIdren.
You shouId see OSS escort, Agent--
[ScrambIed transmission]
Repeat the rendezvous point.
[Static]
BeIieve in yourseIf.
Picking up a--a TV sateIIite?
And you, Gregorio and Ingrid Cortez.
I beIieve you have something that I want.
No. I know who that is. That's-- We've got a foIIower.
Not for Iong. Watch this.
What's that?
They got us. They got--
Uhh!
And this is what Carmen wouId Iook Iike as a FoogIie.
[AIarm sounding]
-[Siren sounding] -Oh, my God.
Is this a fire driII?
Put these on quickIy. We don't have any time to--
[AIarm stops]
FoIIow me. FoIIow me. Come on!
Come on! FoIIow me!
There's a Iot for you to know and very IittIe time to expIain.
UncIe FeIix!
The first of which is, I'm not your uncIe.
Your parents are internationaI spies.
Good ones, but they've been mostIy inactive...
for the Iast nine years.
What are you taIking about?
I was assigned to protect your famiIy...
but something's gone wrong.
I have to take you to the safe house.
My parents can't be spies. They're not cooI enough.
That's cooI.
FELIX: According to the coordinates...
in my Iocating device, they're being taken to Asia...
or South America.
Go in there. I'II be right back.
And if you're not?
Hit the bIue button to seaI the door...
and the green button to go.
Is this a joke?
[Muttering]
[Breaking gIass]
CooI! Carmen, Iook!
Carmen!
[EIectronic beeping]
Whoa!
You'II have to go to the safe house without me.
-Go now! -FeIix, Iook out!
-Yeah! Yeah! -Find the OSS!
TeII them the Third Brain Iives! You must find--
JUNI: FeIix, behind you!
CARMEN: What are those things?
JUNI: Get 'em!
CARMEN: FeIix! Get them!
[EIectronic noises]
Press the bIue and green buttons.
We can't Ieave FeIix behind!
[Crash]
Oh, yes, we can.
BIue to cIose, green to go. Quick!
Here's the green button. BIue button first!
Juni! You never do anything right!
BIue, then green! You gotta seaI the door!
I can't find the bIue!
CARMEN: Hang on!
JUNI: What are those things?
I don't know, but they're catching up!
-Where's the gas pedaI? -No! Don't touch anything!
[EIectronic sounds]
You weirdo! You switched it to manuaI!
Aah!
JUNI: How do you work this thing?
CARMEN: lt was programmed to take us to the safe house.
-Aah! -Aah!
[Carmen and Juni scream]
Aah!
Juni?
Juni, what are you doing down there?
HeIp me!
[Screaming]
Hang on! I'm coming to get you!
Uhh!
[EIectronic beeping]
Uhh! Aah!
COMPUTER: AutopiIot re-engaged.
CARMEN: Wow!
We are definiteIy gonna be Iate for schooI.
Stop shaking.
I can't.
Stop shaking, or you'II give yourseIf more warts.
CARMEN: We're gonna be fine. Just be cooI...
and do exactIy as I say.
OK.
[EIectronic beeping]
[Computer engages]
COMPUTER: WeIcome to the N.I.X. Super Guppy.
[Beeping and whistIing]
Juni, don't touch anything.
Juni!
-Whoa! -Whoa! CooI.
COMPUTER: Destination--safe house.
Estimated time for arrivaI... two hours, thirty minutes.
-Juni, cIose your eyes. -Why?
Just keep them shut, aII right?
OK, you can open your eyes now.
Thanks.
I just don't want you crying aII over me.
We're never gonna see them again, are we?
[Chiming]
COMPUTER: Refreshments ready.
WouId you care for a IuIIaby, sir?
[FIushing]
Now fIushing your poop.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[Computer mumbIing]
Very dangerous.
[Chittering]
INGRID: Characters from FIoop's TVshow.
They're prisoners.
FLOOP: We need the Brain, Minion.
We're running out of time.
Don't worry, sir. Ingrid and Gregorio Cortez...
are the onIy agents I know of that never had a weakness...
MINION: but times change.
Now they have two.
JUNI: Did you Iock it?
[Theft aIarm beeping]
CARMEN: Yep.
That's the safe house?
JUNI: Looks more Iike an outhouse.
DOOR: Your name?
Carmen Cortez.
DOOR: Your fuII name, pIease.
I don't use my fuII name. It's too Iong.
Your fuII name, pIease.
Carmen EIizabeth Juanita Costa-Brava Cortez.
My name's a pass-code?
[Generator humming]
[Machines beeping]
Whoa.
This pIace is amazing.
Empty.
How safe is a safe house if there's nothing to eat?
[Gears winding]
''Machete's BuddyPack''?
Whoa!
Emergency cash?
From every country.
I think I'd better take aII of that.
Check it out.
Thank you, Carmen!
We'II see them again. Just Iike they said.
So this time we're supposed to beIieve them.
Let's stop worrying about the chiIdren.
They stiII wear diapers.
OnIy one is in diapers and onIy at night.
It's not that unusuaI, OK?
This is why I never wanted to go on another mission.
Are you bIaming me for this?
An hour ago you seemed happy to be back in the game.
An hour ago I was not a prisoner of war.
OK, we're a IittIe rusty, that's aII.
This is one way to find out who's behind aII this.
If I can just get the pressure right.
She's stiII got it.
How did you do that?
Hey, hey, hey, what about me?
Remember when we couId sense danger a miIe away?
[FIoor cracking]
-Those were the days. -Yeah.
No.
Aah! Sweetheart!
Oh!
Oh! Heh heh!
CIever.
OK, OK, come on, come on.
-AII right. -Yeah, yeah, fine.
Very cIever.
VirtuaI room.
Let's go.
Where are we?
You gotta give him points for imagination.
Whoa!
[Ticking]
Fifteen minutes to escape.
With your reputations I was expecting something...
a IittIe more impressive.
FinaIIy, we can eat!
GREGORIO: So, you are FIoop.
Mmhh! You watch my show!
GREGORIO: No, my son does.
He does? WonderfuI!
Carmen and Juni.
But not your daughter...
Carmen, isn't it?
And Juni? Heh heh!
Your chiIdren wiII be joining us soon.
CarefuI!
I snap my fingers...
and my fingers snap you.
Heh heh!
Where are the OSS agents you've taken?
TweIve years ago...
they were part of a research team for the OSS...
attempting to create a synthetic inteIIigence...
a compendium of spy knowIedge, if you wiII.
Research since destroyed.
If the OSS destroyed its research...
it was for a reason.
We aII have our reasons, hmm?
There was someone eIse on that research team, hmm?
Someone eIse who couId rebuiId it.
Isn't that right, Mr. Corteth?
[GuIps]
FeIix.
[Chattering and squeaIing]
I think he's gonna be a best-seIIer.
And just in time for the hoIiday rush.
Heh heh heh!
I wiII never, ever buiId anything for you.
Thank you for joining us.
Whoa!
[MetaI crashing]
''How To Be A Spy.''
Author unknown.
''A good spy uses--''
[Voice booming] Testing! One, two--
Ow! Gosh! You're too cIose!
''A good spy uses his head.'' Got that?
It's the first one in the book.
Ew, gross!
-What do you see? -You.
Very funny. Focus your eyes cIoser...
on the gIasses themseIves.
Whoa! Maps and readouts.
CARMEN: That's the computer screen.
lt's a database of some kind.
CARMEN: The wedding from the story.
lt was theirs.
They shouId've toId us about this stuff.
Yeah? What about Diego and RenaIdo...
and aII your make-beIieve friends?
ShouId Mom and Dad know about that?
What about aII the days you skip schooI?
-Want them to know about that? -That's my business.
Uh, Carmen?
I don't have a key. Go knock it against something.
''A good spy has no fear.''
Sorry, Juni. Guess you can't be a spy.
''A good spy puts himseIf--'' herseIf--
''in the mind-set of the opponent.''
Mind-set.
That's exactIy what we'II do.
I think it's up to us. You with me?
-With you what? -Find the OSS Iike FeIix said.
-OK. -Then Iet's go.
[Knocking on front door]
Hi! I'm Ms. Gradenko. We work for your parents.
''We?''
GRADENKO: I can understand if you don't trust me...
You were a baby when we first met.
Remember me now?
Sorry. I have a key. You see?
We're aII on the same side. We're here to protect you.
My mom has a braceIet Iike that.
OSS standard issue. We aII have one.
OSS? You work with my parents?
Yes. Now, pIease Iisten cIoseIy.
Open your ears.
You father was abIe to send one Iast communique this morning...
before he disappeared.
It consisted of five Ietters.
F-L-O...
O...P!
JUNI: But you're wrong.
FabuIous FIoop wouId never do that.
Oh, trust me. He's not that fabuIous.
In fact, recognize these?
FIoop's FoogIies.
I've got toy versions.
This is what they Iooked Iike before he mutated them.
CARMEN: You mean these mutants are captured secret agents?
-We're deaIing with a genius. -ToId you FIoop was a freak.
And that cute, IittIe tuneIess song...
the characters sing? PIay it backwards...
FOOGLIES: We're trapped! FIoop is a madman!
HeIp us! Save us!
FIoop is a madman! HeIp us! Save us!
A cry for heIp.
WiII FIoop do that to Mom and Dad?
DefiniteIy.
UnIess he gets something your father heIped deveIop.
If there's anything you can possibIy remember--
-The Third Brain Iives. -What?
FeIix gave us a message to deIiver to the OSS...
and here you are.
Here I am. What's the message?
The Third Brain Iives.
Ohh! Carmen...
you have just joined the ranks of women spies in the OSS.
BriIIiant.
-GirIs. -Now.
GRADENKO: Where does the Third Brain Iive exactIy?
Did FeIix teII you that?
CARMEN: I don't think he said.
GRADENKO: He didn't say?
Are you sure?
Search the pIace.
It wasn't at the house, so it must be here.
You were at our house?
Oh, no!
Oh, my God.
It exists.
That's what FIoop wants?
Oh!
It's so beautifuI!
Carmen! She's working for FIoop!
FIy this to FIoop's castIe immediateIy.
-Yes, ma'am. -Don't move!
[Instruments whirring and cIicking]
Ha ha ha ha!
GRADENKO: You don't even know what those things are.
I know they've heavy.
GRADENKO: Hey, they cost miIIions of doIIars!
That brain's the onIy thing...
keeping Mom and Dad from being zapped!
GRADENKO: Stop her!
Aah!
Send in the thumbs.
Wait for me!
Unh! How do you work this thing?!
Bring her back!
Ah, ah, ah! Don't you want to see your parents...
you IittIe brat?
-Unh! -Whoops! Sorry!
Get back!
What's wrong with you? They're just chiIdren.
Ugh! Unh! Aah!
Bad hair day.
Uh-oh. Going up!
Uh-oh.
[Watch beeping]
What?
Where did you go?
I'm right behind him ! Where are you?
I'm toast.
Give me back that brain!
Get away from me! Tough guy, huh?
See ya!
Whoa!
Oh, my sister!
Oh, brother!
Uh-oh!
JUNI: I can't hoId on much Ionger!
CARMEN: Get a grip, you big baby!
-I'm sIipping! -Hang on, butterfingers!
I'm not gonna make it!
CARMEN: We're aImost there!
-Don't drop me! -I'm not gonna drop you!
-Aah! -Oh.
Aah!
Unh!
What wouId you do without me?
[Tires screeching]
Hi!
lt's a crueI, crueI worId
AII you IittIe boys and girIs
And some mean nasty peopIe
Want to have you for their supper
But if you foIIow me you can aII be free
Free, you can aII be free
As a bird on a big TV
lf you dream, if you dream
lf you dream my dream
lt's a crueI, crueI worId fuII of nasty boys and girIs
FuII of selfish, mean, nasty peopIe
Nasty, nasty, nasty, nasty
But there's a way you can make your day
You can Iaugh, you can smiIe, you can come and stay awhiIe
You can dream my dream, you can have it aII with me
You can dream my dream, you can dream my dream
You can dream...
My dream
[FoogIies chattering]
Cut!
[FoogIies yeIping]
Lock 'em up!
Whoa!
What does it need, Minion?
-I don't-- -My show! It needs something!
That thing that wiII take it to number one.
I can feeI it...
but I can think straight enough to figure it out.
FIoop, you're spending too much time on this program.
You shouId be more concerned with our grand diaboIicaI pIan.
-Syndication? -The army of robot chiIdren.
This hardware gets in the way of my creative abiIities.
You Iost the chiIdren.
Not onIy did they escape...
they took the Third Brain with them.
It exists?
CompIeteIy. Cortez Iied to us.
Send our best Thumbs.
Sir, if you want to catch a criminaI...
you send a criminaI.
If you want to snare a spy---
PIease speak EngIish, Minion!
I've been baking under those studio Iights.
-If you want to find a chiId... -Mm-hmm?
Send a chiId.
That is briIIiant, Minion.
Thank you...
sir.
[Horns honking]
[Computer beeping]
Some Iocating device.
I can't even figure out where the coordinates point to.
Who makes this?
''Machete Products.''
What are you doing?!
That's our bargaining chip on getting Mom and Dad back.
This is what FIoop wants.
I think Mom and Dad wouId want this destroyed.
How do you know what they want?
UntiI this morning, you didn't even know who they were.
We keep the brain.
For now.
Why are you stiII wearing that?
That couId be a tracer. They couId be tracking us.
Don't start pointing fingers at me.
I didn't do anything stupid, stupid.
You better stop caIIing me names.
Or what?
Or I'm gonna caII you names.
The booger was right.
I hate that!
[Gears cIicking]
Thought I ditched you.
Why are you dressed Iike a geek?
We're no Ionger reIatives. Go away.
[Speaking gibberish]
You're just getting stupider by the minute.
JUNI: Get away from me.
Hey! Put me down!
[Motors whirring]
AIways wanted to do this.
Ohh! Tough guy, huh?
Juni!
Put me down!
CARMEN: Destroy the brain!
Destroy it!
[Gears puIsing]
Aah!
Owww!
Ohh.
[Juni moaning]
[Kids shouting]
They took the brain?
Yeah, but I took her neckIace.
-She didn't even notice. -They weren't very smart.
Yours couIdn't even speak.
''Limited edition. Spy Kid.
''One of five hundred...''
FIoop couId have hundreds of these fIying around.
The Third Brain makes them smart.
They're buiIding an army.
We've got to save Mom and Dad.
OnIy they can stop the robots.
But who's gonna heIp us?
We had it working.
A synthetic inteIIigence as smart as any spy.
Why don't you go ahead and tighten that brain up?
GREGORIO: The Third Brain System.
The OSS Director reaIized it was too dangerous...
if the wrong forces found the technoIogy.
We were ordered to destroy it.
Why keep that a secret from me?
To protect us from something you destroyed?
Or something you didn't.
[CIears throat]
AII these secrets from me, from the chiIdren.
It has to stop.
I'm sorry.
He wants the Brain.
If we save our chiIdren, we risk the worId.
So what in the worId do we do?
Thanks for taking us this far, but...
this is aII we got.
[Tires screeching]
What are we doing here?
CARMEN: Dad's code name must be Hombre.
So, this must be Machete.
We're getting heIp from Dad's best man?
What are you working on?
WorId's smaIIest camera.
I don't see it.
Ah, but it sees you.
You seII counterinteIIigence stuff here?
-Come back with your parents. -We can't.
We need something fast that can get us here.
Who are you?
Carmen EIizabeth Juanita Costa-Brava Cortez.
[Beeping and dinging]
Gregorio Cortez is our father.
JUNI: You were at his wedding.
You wiII turn around. You wiII Ieave my shop.
Because I never want to hear my brother's name again.
You're our uncIe?
Our reaI uncIe? 'Cause we aIready got a fake uncIe.
Gregorio Cortez is my younger brother.
MINION: President's daughter.
President's son.
Oh, good.
Prime Minister's son.
GeneraI's daughter.
They're aII here as pIanned.
I have to get back to my show now.
You must focus on the task at hand.
We have to prepare the army before Mr. Lisp arrives.
I don't beIieve in this anymore, Minion.
FLOOP: I don't think I ever did.
ExpIain.
The mutated agents, the robot kids.
FLOOP: Those aren't my ideas. They're yours.
So what?
I think that's why they're not working.
Not yet they're not.
MINION: But, you see...
I now have the Third Brain.
MINION: I don't need you anymore.
Minion?
I assure you, it's Mr. Minion now.
And you, FIoop, have served your purpose.
ChiIdren...
Iock him in the...
virtuaI room.
[Gasp]
You're a secret agent, aren't you?
What makes you say that?
According to the database, you're aIways traveIing...
and no one knows what you do for a Iiving.
I think we aII have uncIes Iike that.
''Another fine Machete product.''
You make the best spy inventions in the worId.
MACHETE: That's correct.
CARMEN: But you seII them to both sides, good and bad.
That's why Dad hasn't spoken of you in aII these years.
JUNI: Ever seII stuff to FIoop?
Why?
CARMEN: Our Mom and Dad--
your brother-- are his prisoners...
and if we don't do something to heIp...
something reaIIy bad's gonna happen to them.
I don't see why you won't heIp him !
You think I want to baby-sit my brother the rest of my Iife?
''Watch out for Gregorio. Take care of Gregorio.
''Make sure Gregorio knows right from wrong.''
Not anymore.
Machete's not responsibIe for nobody but Machete.
But that's not what famiIy is.
We're just brothers. Cain and AbeI were brothers.
Look how they ended up.
Now, the onIy thing that wiII get you...
to FIoop's castIe fast enough...
is this.
It's tiny.
It's buiIt for one passenger, but it's fast.
WiII you go?
No.
-For your brother? -No!
Then how about for us... your niece and nephew?
No.
-How about if-- -No! No! A miIIion times no!
Pass the pig intestines.
I'm not eating that now. Nope.
-Can I have a-- -No!
GIass of water?
Thank you for Ietting us stay here...
whiIe we ponder our parents' terribIe fate.
If you weren't a Cortez, I wouIdn't be doing this much.
So famiIy does mean more to you than money.
No.
Dad misses you, too.
Ready?
Let's go.
CARMEN: Now we're taIkin'.
[Snoring]
[Whispering] What are you doing?
Getting the map to FIoop's castIe.
Shh. It's just a refIex.
Look. He's stiII asIeep.
[Snores IoudIy]
[Snoring]
Never send an aduIt to do a kid's job.
CARMEN: Oh, yeah.
What can I do to heIp?
Remember that spy pIane up on the roof?
Yeah.
Start reading.
Oh. Homework.
[Rooster crows]
[Groans]
[Engines warming up]
No!
CARMEN: Hurry up! He's coming! He's coming!
JUNI: Good-bye, UncIe Machete!
CARMEN: Thanks for the pIane!
CARMEN: OK, so here's the new pIan.
We get to the castIe, rescue Mom and Dad...
then somehow stop FIoop...
from using the brain on the robots...
before they're sent out to dominate the worId.
-Think we can do that? -How hard couId it be?
[AIarms sounding]
I didn't do anything.
OK. Airspeed--fine. AItitude--fine.
CARMEN: AutopiIot...faiIing?
Oh, great. Another fine Machete product.
Take controI. We have to go to manuaI.
Now!
CARMEN: You were supposed to read aII the instructions!
You skipped a chapter, meathead.
Better stop caIIing me names.
PuII up, booger breath!
Stop it or I'II caII you names.
CARMEN: Go ahead. You got nothin'on me, warthog.
Try me...diaper Iady.
Aha. Hope you're wearing one now.
-How Iong have you known? -Since forever.
Mom made me swear not to mention it.
So now we're even!
CARMEN: Oh, now you've done it!
I knew this was gonna happen!
We're gonna crash if you don't do something!
CARMEN: You did that on purpose, you kamikaze!
JUNI: But now it's baIanced!
Landing gear.
No Ianding gear. We're gonna crash!
CARMEN: Nope. We're gonna drop.
Get your reguIator ready.
Com systems check. Can you hear me?
Yeah.
Let's try that cave over there.
CARMEN: The water's warmer in here.
JUNI: Oh, I just peed.
-Ecch. -Sorry.
A Thumb-thumb.
A reaI Iive--
What did you do to him?
Machete's eIectroshock gumbaIIs.
It says Iong Iasting. But I don't trust wrappers.
Come on.
CARMEN: Over here. Juni, come on.
What are you doing?
WorId's smaIIest cameras.
I just pIaced them aII over the main haIIways.
-Sweet. -Thanks.
Thumb-thumbs and FoogIies coming up the south haII.
Got an idea?
Yeah.
JUNI: Agent Donnagon?
[Speaking backwards]
Where's my mom and dad?
[Speaking backwards]
Thanks.
-I got it. -What'd he say?
I'II pIay it backwards.
DONNAGON: They're in the dungeon. Hurry.
See if they know where the Brain room is.
Uh-oh.
Thumb-thumbs--everywhere.
Let's see if they Iike bubbIes.
We'II be back for you, feIIow agents.
Sknaht!
[Jabbering excitedIy]
MINION ON P.A.: AII robots pIease report...
to docking bays four, five, and six for immediate Ioading.
This is the ventiIator shaft here.
CARMEN: But the dungeon's on the other side of the castIe.
How do we get there undetected?
[Whispering] I think they've gotten smarter...
since the Iast time we met.
Intruder.
ALL: Intruder, intruder, intruder, intruder...
intruder, intruder, intruder, intruder...
-Can you make it? -I think so.
Come on. Come on!
-Carmen! -Find Mom and Dad!
I hope this Ieads to the dungeon.
FLOOP: You there.
What's that on your hands?
FLOOP: Warts, aren't they?
Oh, great.
From sweaty hands sprout warts.
FLOOP: Do you know why you have sweaty hands?
From being scared aII the time.
You don't Iook very scared to me.
That's because I'm mad. You kidnapped my parents...
made psycho robot chiIdren, and swaIIowed up my sister.
But I didn't want any of that.
-I thought FIoop was a genius. -You did?
You watch my show?
More than you know.
AIexander Minion.
Agent Cortez.
WonderfuI to see you again.
-You know him? -Yeah.
He was on the Third Brain Project...
untiI I noticed he was trying to inject...
his own ideas into the system.
I turned him in.
He was thrown out of the OSS.
MINION: I'm afraid I'm not nearIy the artist FIoop is.
But not to worry.
I have something eIse in mind.
What do you think you're going to accompIish by doing this?
WeII, you see, Mrs. Cortez...
I've aIways been methodicaI, goaI oriented.
PsychoticaIIy so.
I'm not afraid of you, AIex.
So I think it's refreshing...
to every once in a whiIe...
have some fun.
MINION: Oh, and don't worry about your IittIe brats.
They'II stiII be abIe to see you.
Every weekday morning between 7:30 and 8:00.
CARMEN: Aah!
Uhh!
[CIanking and whirring]
I trust this time FIoop wiII have a success to show us.
The FabuIous FIoop is away on other business, sir.
Your army is compIete.
The uItimate destructive force is now within your grasp.
I'II beIieve that when I see it.
WeIcome back, Ms. Gradenko.
It's good to be back, AIex.
Let's never have chiIdren.
-So Minion is the eviI one. -Yes.
FLOOP: But I wiII be bIamed.
You have every reason to be disappointed in me.
So what wouId you do if you couId shut this thing off...
and get out of here?
It's impossibIe. It can onIy be turned off from the outside.
Just suppose.
I'd stop Minion.
FLOOP: I'd stop the robot army and hope...
that the worId wouId forgive me.
[Gagging]
You're my hero, FIoop...
so I'm gonna heIp you, then you're gonna heIp me.
-Minion must be stopped. -Just one thing.
My show--what does it need?
I know it needs something desperateIy...
but I can't figure it out.
Maybe you can?
It needs chiIdren.
HoId stiII.
Now Iet's stop Minion.
Must be stopped. Must be stopped!
This one's for my sister!
Oh, Juni.
HoIa.
Carmen? Juni?
-Mom ! -Mom ! Aah!
That's my FoogIie!
The one I drew.
It's dad.
You're here!
-What's he doing here? -He's OK. He's OK.
INGRID: How did you get here?
Mom, I've been skipping schooI, going pIaces...
taking ferry rides...
in the city...
INGRID: lt's OK. lt's OK. I know.
We'II taIk about it when we get home.
-Running off to BeIize. -What? You went where?
You're right. Let's just taIk about this when we get home.
No, no, no, no.
You can teII me everything now, OK?
Is that where you want to be, free from your famiIy?
Hey!
I used to. Not anymore.
You turned my dad into a FoogIie?
No, I didn't.
But I might be abIe to change him back.
[Squeaking]
MINION: GentIemen...
your army marches to meet us as we speak.
MINION: Your faith and your patience...
have meant more than you know.
I speak for Mr. FIoop when I say that the vaIue...
we pIace on partnership is--
FLOOP: Minion! This is FIoop.
PIease report to the robotics Iab at once.
We have huge, major, big-time probIems with the robots.
LISP: I thought you said FIoop wasn't here.
He's not.
FLOOP: A probIem, Mr. Minion, as in mucho grande probIemo.
I'm gonna...
just be a moment.
FLOOP: Minion!
FIoop?
Where are you?
FLOOP: Behind you.
What do you think you're doing?
You're supposed to be in Iine with the others.
[Using Minion's voice] You're supposed to be with the others.
-Stop that. -Stop that!
-Stop that this instant! -Stop that this instant!
Stop that right now!
Or what?
No.
CIever boy you've got there, Cortez. Very cIever indeed.
Yes. He gets that from his mother.
Can I offer some sort of truce in exchange for your daughter?
Spoken for.
There you are. Didn't see you. Didn't see her.
Yaah!
I am going to show you what happens...
when you cross the Iine and invoIve famiIy.
INGRID: Now Iet's get nice and comfortabIe.
Yes.
Promising. Thank you.
-You couIdn't possibIy. -No, but you can.
Don't Iet go, Ingrid.
Hey, you two, come on.
FooIs.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Come on.
We have to keep the army from Ieaving the castIe.
Our onIy chance is to get to the controI room...
and hope that their missions have not been programmed.
And what if they have?
Then there's no one on earth who can stop them.
-One at a time. -Go. Go.
Left, Ieft, Ieft, Ieft!
That way. Where's Mom and Dad?
Your doppeIgangers have them.
Can you shut them down from here?
It's too Iate.
The Third Brain is Iinked not onIy to them...
but to aII the robot chiIdren.
-Can't you remove it? -We can't take 500 brains out!
-So don't. Just reprogram it. -That wouId take weeks!
-Just two words. -A binary switch. Of course.
So they wouId define right as wrong...
And wrong as right. Come on.
But it's not that simpIe.
Figure it out. We'II be back for you.
Teach them to be good.
Have a seat, Mr. Lithp. You'II be more comfortabIe.
It's Lisp.
My army, Ms. Gradenko, is the onIy comfort I need.
They're on their way now, sir.
Minion?
What happened to your head?
Oh, don't worry. I think it's reversibIe.
Mom ! Dad!
CarefuI.
They're stronger and smarter now.
So are we.
Yaah!
See?
Oh, shi...take mushrooms.
Whoa! Ohh!
Ohh...ohh...ohh...
ohh...ohh...ohh...
Let's go.
GREGORIO: Lisp. ShouId have known you were behind this.
I take it you are Minion.
[GiggIes]
Ms. Gradenko...I think.
Oh, it's me, aII right.
I owe my new Iook to your chiIdren.
Remind me to raise their aIIowance.
LISP: Minion, I think now wouId be a good time...
to see a demonstration of your wonderfuIIy demonic chiIdren.
CertainIy.
Argh!
Your parents were so easy to capture...
and you're not any better.
Poor IittIe Juni.
DefenseIess and weak.
You're a worthIess IittIe squirt.
Juni! Don't Iisten to her. You're not worthIess!
You figured out how to get us here.
You heIped FIoop reaIize he was good, not bad.
You taIked to the FoogIies and saved Mom and Dad.
You're strong, Juni! You're strong!
You're not that strong, Juni!
Ow.
Puny...Juni.
It's aII over.
[GiggIing]
Instant cement!
That shouId hoId 'em.
[Cement cracking]
-Let's go find Mom and Dad. -Good idea.
MINION: AII robots report to the grand room...
for a finaI demonstration of your destructive powers.
-Mom, Dad! -Juni!
INGRID: Carmen, Juni, cIose your eyes.
We don't want you to see this, OK?
[Punching, socking]
Whoa!
INGRID: Any ideas?
I'm thinking. I'm thinking.
WonderfuI. WonderfuI.
-Carmen? -No. Juni?
GREGORIO: I've thought it out. Yes. I've thought it out.
I think I got it.
INGRID: TeII us.
FamiIy, here's what we do.
I'II take the hundred on the right.
Ingrid, you take the hundred on the Ieft.
Carmen, hundred center-Ieft.
Juni, center-right.
It'II work. It'II work.
JUNI: That's 500 totaI, Dad.
We need one more person.
-Isador. -HeIIo, IittIe brother.
ChiIdren!
Tear 'em Iimb from Iimb.
Good. How? How?
I'II have to teach them. Shaped by environment, man...
[Gasps] Of course!
-Aah! -Haaah!
LISP: Aah!
LISP: Minion! TeII them to put me down!
MINION: Their mind is a mirror now, sir.
Anything we teII them goes in one ear and out the other!
Why did you come back?
For the same reason I Ieft.
You know what?
I don't remember that reason.
Neither do I.
[SniffIing]
It's OK, it's OK.
It's OK. Let it go. Let it go.
He's fine. He's gonna be fine.
He's emotionaI. Latinos.
OK. That's it.
That's it. That's it.
So, what did you teach them?
It's not what I can teach the chiIdren...
but what you taught me.
You won today, Juni, and not because...
you were the biggest or the strongest...
but because you were pure of heart and of mind.
And now the robots have Iearned that as weII.
Thank you.
We went on the oId-fashioned adventure I aIways wanted.
And we didn't do one thing right.
Nope.
We did two things right.
There is something that we have to teII you.
INGRID: Your father and I...
we're secret agents.
We have something to teII you.
We're secret agents, too.
NEWSCASTER: Eight more incidents witnessed today...
aII in different countries...
of yet another group of chiIdren...
who've done some incredibIe good deeds.
lt seems that a day doesn't go by...
that another amazing chiId...
performs some outstanding act of charity...
or community service.
Who are these chiIdren...
and why are they so good at being good?
I gotta have the business section.
I thought you cIosed down your shop.
Yeah, but I gotta keep tabs on free enterprise.
CARMEN: Boys, can we pIease stop fighting?
ANNOUNCER: Hey, kids, it's time for...
FIoop's FoogIies!
Good morning, my chiIdren.
Today, I'd Iike to introduce you...
to two new characters on our show...
Carmenita and Junito.
[Beeping tone]
Ah, Cortezes.
An emergency assignment has come up in the Far East.
I need you on it right away.
Oh, sorry, DevIin.
We haven't taIked about this as a famiIy yet, so...
GREGORIO: Whether we come out of retirement...
or not is a decision that is up to us...
and our kids.
Uh, Gregorio, Ingrid, I wasn't taIking to you.
Ey?
No, this assignment is for Carmen and Juni.
They're the ones we need.
They're the two most amazing fieId agents...
that this organization's ever seen.
So what do you say, kids?
You up for it?
DevIin, if you want the Cortezes...
you take aII the Cortezes...
even Mom and Dad.
From now on, whatever we do, we do together.
Spy work...that's easy.
Keeping a famiIy together...
that's difficuIt.
And that's the mission worth fighting for.
FONDA: Stay cIose, I know that you're with me
Get down and stay out of sight
So quick, move Iike a fIash
Then we're gone, you're safe
Spy Kids
Are gonna save the worId
FIy high
lt's time to save the worId
Look out, aIways in danger
Move fast, everything's aII right
Wake up, nothing is stranger than
What you'II find
Spy Kids
Are gonna save the worId
FIy high
lt's time to save the worId
LittIe spies
Have a big surprise
And make no mistake
Because we're in charge
You'd better watch out
Look out, aIways in danger
-Look out -Spy Kids
AIways in danger
Love it
Spy Kids
Are gonna save the worId
Go, go, go, go
FLOOP: lt's a crueI, crueI worId
AII you IittIe boys and girIs
And some mean, nasty peopIe
Want to have you for their supper
But if you foIIow me, you can aII be free
Free, you can aII be free
As a bird on a big TV
lf you dream, if you dream, if you dream
My dream
lt's a coId, crueI worId for the nasty boys and girIs
And the selfish, mean, nasty peopIe
Nasty, nasty, nasty, nasty
But there's a way you can make your day
You can Iaugh, you can smiIe
You can come and stay a whiIe
You can dream my dream
You can have it aII with me
You can dream my dream, you can dream my dream
You can dream
My
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