这是一个非常重要的事实： 有些事并不像它看上去那样 [male narrator] It's an important and popular fact
that things are not always what they seem.
例如，在地球上，人类总是认为 For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed
他们是地球上最聪明的生物 that he was the most intelligent species occupying the planet,
其实他们只排第三 instead of the third most intelligent.
排在第二位的当然是海豚啦 The second most intelligent creatures were dolphins, who, curiously enough,
其实他们在很长时间以前 就知道地球将要毁灭了 had long known of the impending destruction of the planet Earth.
他们尝试了很多次给人类以警告 They'd made many attempts to alert mankind,
但是很多尝试都被人类理解为 but most of their communications were misinterpreted
它们是在玩球或者吹口哨要吃的 as amusing attempts to punch footballs or whistle for tidbits.
所以它们毅然决定离开地球 So they eventually decided they would leave Earth by their own means.
就连海豚最后的口讯也被人类理解为 The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted
完美的后空翻 as a sophisticated attempt to do a backward somersault
穿过铁圈，然后冲向悬在空中的旗子 through a hoop, whistling The Star-Spangled Banner.
实际上，它们的口讯是： In fact, the message was this:
再见，多谢你们给我们的鱼 - [bell rings] - "So long and thanks for all the fish. "
[Up tempo drum intro to big band number]
再见，多谢你们给我们的鱼 [male chorus] ∮ So long and thanks for all the fish
∮事情到了这个地步真是不幸 ∮ So sad that it should come to this
∮我们总是想警告你们 ∮ We tried to warn you all but, oh, dear
∮但是你们并不了解 ∮ You may not share our intellect
∮你们是多么不尊敬... ∮ Which might explain your disrespect
∮你们身边的美好世界 ∮ For all the natural wonders that grow around you
∮再见，多谢你们给我们的鱼 ∮ So long, so long and thanks...for all the fish
∮你们的世界就要被毁灭了 [female chorus] ∮ Your world's about to be destroyed
∮你们再也不需烦恼了 ∮ There's no point getting all annoyed
∮躺下看着你们的星球被摧毁 ∮ Lie back and let the planet dissolve around you
∮不管今天是否打到鱼 [male chorus] ∮ Despite those nets of tuna fleets
∮我们觉得你们大都很可爱 ∮ We thought that most of you were sweet
∮尤其是小孩和孕妇们 ∮ Especially tiny tots and your pregnant women
∮再见，再见，再见 ∮ So long, so long, so long, so long, so long
∮再见，再见 [female chorus] ∮ So long, so long
∮再见，多谢你们给我们的鱼 [whole chorus] ∮ So long, so long and thanks for all the fish
∮我只有最后一个愿望 [girl solo] ∮ If I had just one last wish
∮再给我一些美味的鱼 ∮ I would like a tasty fish
∮如果我们可以改变一件事 [woman solo] ∮ If we could just change one thing
∮那就是要学会唱歌 ∮ We would all have learnt to sing
∮大家一起来 [full chorus] ∮ Come one and all
∮人类和哺乳动物 ∮ Man and mammal
∮肩并肩在一起 ∮ Side by side
∮生命是一个庞大的基因库 ∮ In life's great gene pool!
∮再见，再见，再见 [male chorus] ∮ So long, so long, so long
∮再见，再见 [female chorus] ∮ So long, so long
∮再见，多谢你们给我们的鱼 [whole chorus] ∮ So long, so long and thanks for all the fish! ∮
[cock crows]
银河系漫游指南这个非凡的故事 [male narrator] The extraordinary story of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
有一个非常简单的开始 begins very simply.
这个故事的开头有一个男人 It begins with a man.
哦！ Ooh!
精确的说，一个地球人 An Earthman, to be precise.
一个不清楚自己的命运地球人 Who no more knows his destiny,
就像一片茶叶并不清楚 东印度公司的历史一般 than a tea leaf knows the history of the East India Company.
他的名字叫阿瑟·丹特 [buzz]
His name is Arthur Dent.
他是一个五尺八寸的高猿人后裔 He is a five-foot-eight-inch-tall ape descendant
而且有人要拆毁他的房子来修公路 and someone is trying to drive a bypass through his house.
我想让你做什么？ 我要你找到他！ What do I want you to do about it? Find him
告诉他我现在躺在一个推土机前面 and tell him I'm currently Iying flat on my back in front of...
好吧，我等着 Fine, I'II hold.
你不可能永远躺在推土机前面 You can't Iie in front of the bulldozers for ever.
我会的，看一看谁先放弃 I'm game. We'II see who rusts first.
这条公路是一定要建的 This bypass has got to be built and it is going to be built.
- 为什么一定要建？ - 这是一条公路 - Why has it got to be built? - It's a bypass.
路是一定要修的，而且如果你要抗议的话 几个月之前就该开始了！ You've got to build bypasses. Besides, you should've protested months ago.
这个计划已在办公室摆了有一年了 The plans have been on display at the planning office for a year.
摆了有一年了？ 我要去地窖看一下 On display? I had to go down to a cellar.
丹特先生，如果这车从你身上压过去 你知道它会有什么损伤吗？ Mr Dent, have you any idea how much damage this bulldozer would suffer
if I just Iet it roll straight over you?
- 有什么损坏？ - 一点都没 - How much? - None at all.
非常巧合的是 [narrator] By a strange coincidence, none at all
猿人后裔的阿瑟“一点都没有”意识到 is exactly how much suspicion ape-descendant Arthur had
that one of his closest friends
他一个最好的朋友并不是猿人后裔 而是来自一个非常小的星球 was not descended from an ape, but was, in fact, from a small planet
参宿四星（猎户星座中的一等星） 附近的一颗星球 somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse.
阿瑟！阿瑟！ Arthur! Arthur!
- 福特！ - 干什么？ - [Arthur] Ford! - Yes?
我在这儿 Here.
啊，原来你在这里！ Ah, there you are!
我们要谈一谈了 [Ford] Eat, drink. We gotta talk.
现在可不是喝酒的时候 他们要毁了我的家园 Now's not the best time. They're going to demolish my home.
哦！你已经知道了吗？ Whoa! You already... You already know? How?
怎么会知道的？ What do you m...?
哦，他们？原来你说的"他们"是指他们 Oh, they, they? When you say "they" you mean they? Got it.
我现在要告诉你一件非常重要的事情 Listen. I got somethin' important I gotta tell you. Right now.
但是，我的房子怎么办？ Well, what about my house?
地球上的工人们，我带来了花生和啤酒！ [Ford] Workers of the Earth, I bring good tidings of peanuts and beer!
[workers' excited chatter]
- 好了，我们去酒吧 - 什么？ - Good. Let's go to the pub. - Huh?
他们说喝完啤酒才开工 They won't demolish it until they've finished the beers.
- 他们的话可信吗？ - 我相信他们直到地球的末日 - Can we trust 'em? - To the end of the Earth.
- 还有多少时间到地球的末日 - 大约还有12分钟 - How far's that? - About 1 2 minutes away.
什么？ Huh?
服务员，拿六瓶啤酒 地球的末日就要来啦 Barman, six pints of bitter and quickly. The world's about to end.
酒来了 Six pints coming up.
不用找了 你还有10分钟去花这些钱 [Ford] Keep the change. You got about ten minutes to spend it.
一人三杯？在午饭时间？ Three pints each? At Iunchtime?
[Ioud gulping]
对不起，时间只是一种幻觉 Sorry. Ah. Time is an illusion.
午饭时间同样也是 Lunchtime, doubly so.
吃了这些花生，你会需要这些盐 And eat those peanuts, because you'II need the salt.
- 福特，到底发生了什么事？ - 阿瑟... - Look, what is going on, Ford? - Arthur...
如果我告诉你我不是来自吉尔福德 What if I told you I really wasn't from Guildford?
而是来自参宿四星附近的一颗星球 I was from a small planet somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse?
你不是经常这么说吗？ Is that something you're Iikely to say?
记得我们是如何相遇的吗？ Remember when we met?
- [Ford mimics car] - [car horn]
快闪开！ [Arthur] Out the way!
- 噢！ - 你好 - [Arthur] Oof! - Hi.
看到我要和汽车握手是不是觉得很奇怪？ Wasn't it strange I was trying to shake hands with a car?
我以为你喝醉了 I assumed you were drunk.
我以为汽车是一种生命体 我想和他打个招呼 I thought cars were the dominant Iife form. I was introducing myself.
你救过我，现在我要救你了，喝酒 You saved my Iife. And now I'm saving yours. PIease drink.
今天是周四，我从来没在周四喝醉过 It must be Thursday. I could never get the hang of Thursdays.
- 如果是关于你的房子... - 不，不是关于我的房子 - If this is about your house... - No, it's not about the house.
- [Arthur tuts] - [phone beeps]
- 他是谁？ - 她，她 - [Ford] Who's he? - [Arthur] She. She.
特瑞沙·麦克米兰 我们在化装舞会上遇到的 Tricia McMillan. We met at a fancy-dress party.
我不喜欢化装舞会 [Arthur] I hate those kind of parties.
我宁愿呆在家里烫我的手帕 I'd rather have stayed at home and ironed my hankies.
- 但是我还是去了 - 你是谁？ - But there I was. - [Tricia] Who are you?
- 哦！ - 她就这样出现了 - [Arthur] Oh! - And there she was.
- 呃，丹特，阿瑟·丹特 - 不是，你装扮的是谁？ - Uh, Dent. Arthur Dent. - Oh, no. I mean, who are you?
哦，装扮？ 我是李文斯通（非洲探险家） Oh, the costume? Right. "Livingstone, I presume!"
虽然他没有达尔文（指特瑞沙）那么聪明 但是时间仓促，只能扮成这样了 Yeah, it's not as clever as Darwin, but the best I could do at short notice.
你是第一个说对的人！ You're the first to get that right.
- 真的吗？ - 是的，所有人都叫我圣诞老人 - [Arthur] Really? - Yes. Everyone calls me Santa.
- 是吗？ - 我想是这只猎犬提醒了你 - Right. - I thought the beagle was a giveaway.
我想也是 So did I.
化装舞会上的人都是喝醉了的傻瓜 People at these parties are drunken idiots.
- 什么？ - What? - [music stops]
这些人都是傻瓜！ 上帝啊！ [Arthur] AII these people are idiots! God!
[Tricia Iaughs]
你真蠢 That's awkward.
我想也是 [Arthur] Tell me.
她真的很漂亮，福特 She was amazing though, Ford.
美丽，机智，疯狂 Beautiful, witty, mad as a balloon.
如果没有胡子，她看起来至少年轻80岁 [Arthur] Uh, without the beard, you Iook at Ieast 80 years younger.
也许我正在退化 Maybe I'm de-evolving.
[both Iaugh]
我告诉你 [Arthur] Well, I should tell you that I do not date
我从不和单细胞生物约会，知道吗？ single-celled organisms, okay?
让我们出去走走 Let's go somewhere.
好吧，你想去哪里？ Yeah. Definitely. Um, where do you have in mind?
- 马达加斯加岛(非洲岛国) - 是那家在迪安大街新开的夜总会吗？ - Madagascar. - Is that that new club on Dean Street?
不，是一个国家 位于非洲的海岸 No, it's a country off the coast of Africa.
马达加斯加岛？ 那我们还等什么？ That Madagascar? Why are we waiting here?
- 等一下 - Wait a sec. - [Tricia Iaughs]
我们走 Go.
你是认真的？ 但是我不能去马达加斯加岛 God, you're serious. Um, I can't go to Madagascar.
- 为什么不能去？ - 因为，你知道... - Why not? - [Arthur] Because, I just, you know...
- 你真是认真的？ - 是的 - You're serious? - Yeah.
我想去一个我从来没有去过的地方 而且和你一起去，所以... I want to go somewhere I've never been and I'd Iike to go with you, so...
...怎么样，李文斯通博士？ ...what do you say, Dr Livingstone?
我说这是一个很好的建议 I say that's an extraordinary proposition.
但是我不能去，因为我有工作要作 I can't go. I mean, I've got a job.
你可以辞职，回来后再找一个新的 Quit. Get a new one when you come back.
我连你叫什么名字都不知道 嗷！嗷！ I don't even know your real name. Ow! Ow!
- 特瑞沙·麦克米兰 - 好吧，特瑞沙·麦克米兰 - Tricia McMillan. - Well, Tricia McMillan.
我有一个建议 Um, I have a proposition for you.
我们为什么不先去一个近一点的地方 比如康沃尔 Why don't we go somewhere a Iittle closer first, say Cornwall,
然后我们再决定接下来要做什么 and we'II see how it goes.
好吧，就去康沃尔 Right, of course, Cornwall.
对不起，打扰一下 [man] Hey, excuse me.
你不觉得这个男人很无聊吗？ [squeak]
Is this guy boring you?
你为什么不和我聊聊呢？ Why don't you talk to me instead?
我来自另一个星球 I'm from a different planet.
是真的，想看看我的飞船吗？ It's true. You want to see my spaceship?
“想看看我的飞船吗？” 有这么搭讪的吗！ [Tricia Iaughs]
"Do you want to see my spaceship?" What kind of chat-up Iine is that?
这样的事确实会发生的 Mm, that does happen.
说道这里 - Speaking of... - [electronic bleeps]
我们还有2分钟 快把它喝完 We've got two minutes. Drink up.
那是我的房子 - [rumbling] - That's my house.
地球上的人，都来喝一杯吧，我请客 People of Earth, a round of drinks, for everyone, on me.
你真的认为地球要毁灭了？ [barman] You really think the world's going to end?
是的 Yes.
我们是不是需要套一个纸袋在头上 然后躺在地上 Shouldn't we Iie down, or put a paper bag over our heads, or something?
- 如果你想的话 - 那样有用吗？ - If you Iike. - Will it help?
没用，再见了 Not at all. See you.
最后一杯！ [barman] Last orders!
[workmen shouting]
[pants]
[engines whir]
- 那是什么？ - 快跑！ - [workman] What is that? - [workman #2] Run!
小心！ [workman #3] Look out!
[shouts and screams]
[rumbling]
[screeching]
啊！毛巾！ Aha! Towel!
阿瑟！ Arthur!
那些到底是什么？ What the hell are those things?
这是沃刚建筑舰队的飞船 [Ford] Yeow! They're ships from a Vogon constructor fleet.
我早上接收到他们的信号 这个会有用场的 I picked up their signal this morning. You'II need this.
- 你在干什么？ - 我们要搭便车 [whimpers]
- [Arthur] What are you doing? - We're hitching a ride.
[feedback]
地球上的人们 Um, people of Earth,
我是银河系多维空间计划委员会的 我叫普洛思托尼刻·沃刚·吉尔兹 this is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz of the Galactic Hyperspace PIanning Council.
也许你们已经意识到 As you are probably aware,
为了发展银河系边缘的地区 plans for the development of the outlying regions of the galaxy
我们需要在你们的银河系里建一条 多维空间高速公路 involve the building of a hyperspace express route through your star system.
地球是计划中要被毁灭的星球之一 And your planet is one of those scheduled for demolition.
[screaming]
[sheep bleat]
你们不要装作不知道了 There's no point acting surprised about it.
这个计划已经放在 The plans have been on display
阿尔发人马座的开发办公室 有50个地球年了 at your local planning office in Alpha Centauri for 50 Earth years.
如果你们不知道，那就是你们的问题了 [screaming]
If you can't be bothered with local affairs, that's your lookout.
无情的血腥的星球 Apathetic bloody planet.
我一点都不同情你们 I've no sympathy at all.
开始毁灭！ [harsh alien speech]
[electric discharge]
[Arthur screams]
[boom]
《银河系漫游指南》 [narrator/Guide] The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
是一本非常出色的书 is a wholly remarkable book.
也许是星际书局有史以来出版过的 最出色和成功的书 Perhaps the most remarkable, certainly the most successful,
ever to come out of the great publishing corporations of Ursa Minor.
比《星际家庭保养指南》更流行 More popular than The Celestial Homecare Omnibus,
比《失重下可以做的53种事》更畅销 better selling than 53 More Things to Do in Zero Gravity,
比武龙·科鲁飞德的哲学三部曲 and more controversial than Oolon Colluphid's trilogy
《上帝做错了什么》 of philosophical blockbusters, Where God Went Wrong,
《上帝最伟大的错误》 Some More of God's Greatest Mistakes,
《上帝这个人到底是谁》更有争议性 and Who Is This God Person Anyway?
它已经替代了《银河系百科全书》 It's already supplanted the Encyclopedia Galactica
成为拥有所有知识和智慧的知识宝库 as the standard repository of all knowledge and wisdom
还有另外两个重要的原因 for two important reasons.
第一，它比较便宜 First, it's slightly cheaper,
第二在它的封面上 and second, it has the words "Don 't Panic "
用很大的字印着"不要惊慌" printed in large, friendly letters on its cover.
这么说你不是来自吉尔福德？ So you' re not from Guildford?
这解释了你的口音 我总觉得你的口音有些奇怪 Which would explain the accent, which I've always wondered about.
你即不是一个没有工作的演员 Um, you're not an out-of-work actor,
也不是这本书的作者 but rather a writer for this, this book thing.
感觉还好吧？ - [electronic buzzing] - [Ford] Good, huh?
我感觉不是很好 我想喝杯茶 I don't feel well. I need a cup of tea.
如果我知道我现在在哪里 会不会更绝望？ If I asked where we were, would I regret it?
- 我们现在是安全的 - 太好了 - [Ford] We're safe for now. - [Arthur] Good.
我们在沃刚建筑舰队的一艘飞船的厕所里 We're in the washroom on one of the ships of the Vogon constructor fleet.
- 带我回家，福特 - 阿瑟，你的家已经... - Oh, get me home, Ford. - Arthur, your home is...
上帝啊，我的家已经被推平了 Oh, God, my home. My home was demolished.
[hollow clang]
你不记得了 You don't remember.
好吧，阿瑟，我要告诉你些事情 虽然很不幸，但是事实 Okay, Arthur, I've got something to tell you. It's unfortunate, but it's true.
你的家园地球刚被炸毁了 Your home planet has been blown up.
什么，被炸毁了 - Huh, blown up. - [Ford grunts]
[grunts]
难道你不能作些什么吗？ Couldn't you have done something?
我救了你一命 这样我就不欠你什么了 I saved your Iife. Okay, that makes us even.
银河系并不好混 如果你想在这里活下去 It's a tough galaxy. If you want to survive out here, you've...
你要知道你的毛巾在哪里 ...gotta know where your towel is.
过来帮我一下 Okay, give me a hand over here.
小心，很热 我们要离开这艘飞船 Careful. It's hot. We've gotta get off this ship.
在沃刚人找到我们之前 Before the Vogons find us.
沃刚人最恨搭便车的人了 拉一下 Vogons, they hate hitchhikers. Pull.
好的 - [Arthur] Huh? - [steam hisses]
[Ford Iaughs]
- 这样我们就有信号了 - 沃刚是什么？ - Now we'II get a signal. - What is a Vogon?
问一下指南，说“沃刚” Ask the Guide. Say "Vogons".
沃刚 - [electronic chimes] - Vogons.
沃刚人是银河系里最讨厌的种族之一 [Guide] Vogons are one of the most unpleasant races in the galaxy.
他们并不邪恶，但是脾气不好 官僚主义，多管闲事和无情 Not evil, but bad-tempered, bureaucratic, officious and callous.
哪怕他们的祖母在被怪兽追赶 没有签下文件前他们连手指都不会动一动 They wouldn't even lift a finger to save their own grandmothers
from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal without orders
而签一份文件需要三重签名 signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back,
中途送来送去
需要排队，丢了又找到，找到后又丢了 queried, lost, found, subjected to public inquiry,
最后被埋在土里三个月 Iost again and finally buried in soft peat for three months
最后被回收利用成点火纸 and recycled as firelighters.
千万不要让沃刚人读诗给你听 On no account should you allow a Vogon to read poetry to you.
[klaxon]
他们即不会思考，也没有想像力 连字也不会念，他们只会使用机器 [Ford] They can't think or imagine. Most can't spell. They just run things.
嗯？ Hmm?
[grunts]
如果我们不尽快找到另一艘飞船 And if we don't get a ride soon,
不用指南告诉我们 我们也会知道沃刚人有多讨厌 we won't need the Guide to tell us how unpleasant the Vogons are.
他们今天已经毁灭了一个星球 They've already destroyed a planet today.
这些事总是让他们感觉很爽 That always makes them a Iittle eee!
[loudspeaker: unintelligible shouting]
这是什么声音？ Ughh! What is that?
- 把这个放到你耳朵里 - 什么？ - Put this in your ear. - Huh?
[Arthur gibbers]
我们无意中接了几位搭便车的人 [Vogon] We have unwittingly picked up a couple of hitchhikers.
这个鱼可以帮你翻译 The fish is translating for you.
声波鱼，体小，身黄，象水蛭一样 [Guide] The Babel fish is small, yellow, leech-like,
恐怕算得上是宇宙里最奇怪的生物 and probably the oddest thing in the universe.
它以脑电波为食，吸收无法理解的波 It feeds on brainwave energy, absorbing unconscious frequencies,
然后排泄可以被理解的波 and excreting a matrix of conscious frequencies
发送的大脑的语言区域 to the speech centers of the brain.
它的实际作用就是 只要放一只在你耳朵里 The practical upshot of which is that, if you stick one in your ear,
你可以听懂任何语言 you instantly understand anything said to you in any language.
[rumbling, crashing]
反抗是没用的 Resistance is useless.
- 好的 - 有人来了 - [Arthur] AII right. - [Vogon] Someone's coming.
来了，好像还活着 [Vogon #2] Here we go. Look Iively.
[rumble and crash of doors]
[Vogon grunts]
[Vogons chatter]
[crab] Wheee!
- [Vogon grunts] - [crab squeaks]
哈，哈！ - [squeak] - [Vogon] Ha, ha!
[all shriek]
[door clangs]
陛下 - [Vogon Jeltz] Hmmm. - [Vogon minion] Sir.
- 什么？ - 搭便车的人 - [Vogon Jeltz] What? - [Vogon minion] Hitchhikers.
[Vogon Jeltz groans]
[bell rings]
[clang]
[whoosh]
[brakes grind]
[feedback]
[Vogon Jeltz groans]
[Ford gibbers]
[Vogon Jeltz clears throat]
"O freddled gruntbuggly..."
不要，你真的不需要读出来 No, really, you don't have to read.
我们已经带给你们够多麻烦了 We've put you through enough trouble already.
"...as plerdled gabbleblotchits on a Iurgid bee."
沃刚人的诗在宇宙里可能发生的 最坏的事里排名第三位 [Guide] Vogon poetry is widely accepted as the third worst in the universe.
排名第二的是卡里亚星球的阿格斯人 [groans]
[Guide] The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria.
有一次，他朗诵他的诗 During a recitation by their Poet Master, Grunthos the Flatulent,
“我仲夏的早晨找到的绿色小羊” of his poem Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty
I Found in my Armpit One Midsummer Morning,
有4个听众死于内出血 four of his audience died of internal hemorrhaging,
银河系艺术委员会的会长 and the President of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council
咬下自己的一条腿才活了下来 survived by gnawing one of his own legs off.
"Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts..."
- [Ford screams weakly] - "...with my blurgle..."
由苏塞克斯(英国一郡)的 保拉·米尔斯通·吉宁思写的诗是宇宙中最烂的诗 [Guide] The absolute worst poetry was by Paula Millstone Jennings of Sussex.
幸运的是，他已经和地球一起毁灭了 Luckily, it was destroyed when the Earth was.
"See if I don't." Yeah.
[Vogons chortle]
地球人，我给你两个选择 So, Earthlings, I present you with a choice.
死在真空的宇宙里 Either die in the vacuum of space,
或者告诉我你们对我的诗怎么想 or tell me what you thought of my poem.
[Vogons chuckle]
实际上，我喜欢你的诗 A... a... actually, I rather Iiked it.
- 真的吗？ - 是的 - [Jeltz] Hmm? - [Ford] Yeah.
- 很好，继续说 - 是吗 - That's good. Run with it. - Hmmm.
虽然有些词我不懂 Uh, some of the words I didn't understand,
但是比喻让人印象非常深刻 but I found the imagery quite effective.
继续说 Continue.
它的节奏很有趣 Well, uh, yes, interesting rhythmic devices,
和里面的隐喻相对应 which seemed to counterpoint
透露出作者灵魂中所暗藏的人类的... the underlying metaphor of the humanity of...
- 是沃刚人的！ - 沃刚人的，对不起，沃刚人的 - Vogonity! - Vogonity, sorry, vogonity...
透露出作者灵魂中所暗藏的沃刚人的博爱... of the poet's soul.
[Vogons murmur]
你的意思是 So what you're saying is,
我写诗因为 I write poetry because
在这个卑鄙、冷漠、无情的外皮下 underneath this mean, callous, heartless exterior,
我只是想被爱？ I just want to be Ioved?
是的，是的，是的 [whispers] Yes, yes, yes.
是的，是的 Yes, yes, yeah, please.
Ahh, ooh, ooh, mmm.
把他们扔下船 Throw them off the ship!
- 不要！不要！ - 福特。福特！ - [Ford] No! No! - Ford. Ford!
啊！ Ahh!
好的！好的！ AII right! AII right!
反抗是没用的 [Vogon guard] Resistance is useless!
闭嘴！洗一洗你的脏手 Shut up! Get a job! Wash your filthy hands!
不要惊慌，不要惊慌 Don't panic. Don't panic.
看来我们就要死了 [Arthur] So this is it? We're going to die?
是的，我们就要死了 Yeah, we're gonna die.
不，不会，这是什么？ No, no, what's this?
这是什么？ What is this?
这是什么？这是...没用的东西 我们就要死了 What's this? This is... nothing. Yeah, we're gonna die.
[Arthur sighs]
[hollow clang]
[Arthur sighs]
- [phone beeps] - [Arthur grunts]
你在流汗 You're sweating.
[Arthur chuckles]
- 要拥抱一下吗？ - 不要 - [Ford] Would you Iike a hug? - [Arthur] No.
[klaxon]
[noises stop]
“宇宙”，在《银河系漫游指南》里写到 [Guide] "Space, " says the introduction to The Hitchhiker's Guide,
“是非常，非常大的” "is big. Really big. "
“你根本无法想像它到底是... "You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. "
“多么，多么，多么的大”
A... a... and so on.
上面还写到：“如果你憋足了气” It also says that if you hold a lungful of air,
“你可以在真空的宇宙里活30秒。” you can survive in the total vacuum of space for about 30 seconds.
因为宇宙是如此之大 But with space being really big and all,
被宇宙飞船接到的几率为 the chances of being picked up within that time
2的2079460347次方分之一 are two to the power of two billion,
79 million, 460 thousand,
347 to one against.
凑巧的是 By a staggering coincidence,
这个数字正是依诗林顿公寓的电话号码 it's also the phone number of the Islington flat,
就是阿瑟参加化装舞会的地方 where Arthur went to a fancy dress party
在那里他遇到了他深爱的女人 and met a very nice young woman whom he totally blew it with.
[boom]
地球，依诗林顿公寓和里面的电话 着实已被毁灭了 Though the planet Earth, the Islington flat and telephone
have all now been demolished, Ford and Arthur were, in fact, rescued.
而福特和阿瑟得救了
- 福特？ - 是 - [Arthur] Ford? - [Ford] Y es.
- 我想我变成了沙发 - 我知道你的感觉 - [Arthur] I think I'm a sofa. - [Ford] I know how you feel.
[both scream]
『恢复正常状态』
物理的定律真是多 So much for the Iaws of physics.
今天的头条新闻 [TV woman] And our top story.
盗贼们在宇宙中最想偷的飞船 The sensational theft of the most coveted ship in the universe,
宇宙飞船“金之心” the starship Heart of Gold.
在发射典礼时被人盗走了 Stolen at the launch ceremony by none other
这个人就是银河系的总统查福德·碧波洛克思 than Galactic President Zaphod Beeblebrox.
以人民的名义，自由的名义和... [Zaphod] In the name of people, freedom, and, uh... democracy, stuff like that,
我要绑架我自己，而且我要带走这艘飞船 I hereby kidnap myself and I'm taking the ship with me. Whoo!
我们走！ - Come on! - [crowd gasps]
碧波洛克思，全宇宙都认同 [TV] Beeblebrox, universally considered
他是太阳系里最傻的明星 to be the dimmest star in several solar systems,
他争议性的击败了哈玛·科洛拉 使他一举成名 is most famous for his controversial defeat of Humma Kavula
许多投票人以为他们在为 宇宙最差服装奖投票 who claimed many thought they were voting for the worst-dressed being
in the universe contest.
太棒了 Great.
科洛拉的“不要给傻子投票”的竞选运动 Kavula is best remembered for his slanderous
虽然具有诽谤性，但也让大家都记住了他 "Don 't Vote for Stupid!" campaign.
不要光顾着自己玩 有件重要的事发生了 [woman] Put your ego aside. Something important has happened.
如果这船上有比我的自己还重要的东西 我一定现在就捉住它，然后杀了它 If there's anything more important than my ego, I want it caught and shot now.
我最喜欢这样了 Come on, I Iove it.
查福德就是这个人 [TV] Zaphod's just this guy, you know.
你在干什么？ Hey, hey, hey, hey. What d'you...?
- 我只是在电视上看我自己 - 我们有几个搭便车的人 - I was just watching myself. - We have a couple of hitchhikers.
搭便车的人？ 我们为什么要接纳这些搭便车的人？ Hitchhikers? Why'd you pick up hitchhikers?
我没有接纳他们 宇宙飞船接纳了他们 I didn't. The ship did.
什么？你说什么？ [Zaphod] What? Wh... wh... Say what?
当我们启动非确定推进器...那的大的按钮 When we engaged the Improbability Drive... The big button.
- 我知道 - 我们从这里接的他们 - [Zaphod] I know. - They were picked up here.
在ZZ9PZA地区 等等，这就是你接我的地方 In sector ZZ9 PIural Z AIpha. Wait. That's where you picked me up.
- 地球 - 不可能 - On Earth. - That's impossible.
- 不，只是可能的机会很小 - No, just very improbable. - Listen. I don't have time for this.
宇宙里有一半的警察在追我们 我们还停下来接搭便车的人 We've got the police of half the galaxy after us. We've stopped for hitchhikers.
你的装扮可得满分十分，但是... So ten out of ten for style, but...
但是你想这么多要被减去几百万分 ...minus several million for good thinking.
你真是太漂亮了 你使我感到疯狂 You're too gorgeous, baby, stop it. You drive me crazy.
不用了，我让马文去 Don't. I'II send Marvin.
马文 - Marvin. - [whirring]
你应该知道，我感到很沮丧 [Marvin] You ought to know, I'm feeling very depressed.
是吗，我有一些事可以让你轻松一下 Well, we have something that should take your mind off things.
没用的，我有一个异常大的脑袋 [Marvin] It won't work. I have an exceptionally Iarge mind.
我知道，我想让你去2号登船仓 Yeah, we know. But we need you to go down to the number two entry bay
把我们的偷渡者带到这里来 and pick up our stowaways and bring them up here.
就这样？真没趣 [Marvin] Just that? I won't enjoy it.
没办法，生活就是这样 Yeah, well, that's Iife.
生活？不要和我讲生活 [Marvin] Life? Don't talk to me about Iife.
- 科瓦尔兹司令官 - 是的 - [radio] Commander Kwaltz. - [Kwaltz] Yes.
我们已经确定了“金之心”宇宙飞船 和碧波洛克思总统的位置 [radio] We have located the spaceship Heart of Gold and President Beeblebrox.
- 在哪里？ - ZZ9PAZ地区 - Where? - Sector ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha.
请求多维空间使用权 Requesting hyperspace clearance.
保持你的位置，船长 直到请求通过 Hold your position, captain, until clearance is granted.
- 好的 - 给我接副总统奎斯特拉 - Yes, sir. - Get me Vice-President Questular.
多维空间使用权请求以获准，船长 Hyperspace permission granted, captain.
好，我们走 [Vogon crewman] Here we go.
- [engines roar] - [Vogons scream]
[whoosh of engines]
[door sighs]
我想那扇门刚刚叹气了 I think that door just sighed.
象死人一样，是不是？ [Marvin] Ghastly, isn't it?
所有的门已经被事先编好程序 AII the doors have been programmed
给你们带来快乐和阳光 to have a cheerful and sunny disposition.
走吧，有人命令我带你们去连接桥 Anyway, come on. I've been ordered to take you up to the bridge.
算了，你们自便吧 PIease yourselves.
看看我，脑袋大得像个星球 Here I am, brain the size of a planet,
他们让我带你们去连接桥 and they ask me to take you up to the bridge.
还把这叫做令人满意的工作？ 我可不这么认为 Call that job satisfaction? 'Cause I don't.
你们要感谢天狼星机械控制集团 制造我这带有G.P.P.的机器人 You can thank the Sirius Cybernetics Corp. for building robots with G.P.P.
- 什么是G.P.P.？ - 真实的人类性格 - [Arthur] What's G.P.P.? - [Marvin] Genuine People Personalities.
我是一台有个性的原型机 你们看的出来，是不是？ I'm a personality prototype. You can tell, can't you?
[electronic bleeps]
阿瑟？ - [bleeps] - [woman] Arthur?
你是不是穿了我的内裤？ 因为我穿着你的 [Zaphod] Hey, Slim, are you wearing my underwear? 'Cause I'm wearing yours.
肯定不是它们在耍花样 算了，就这样吧 And they ain't doing the trick. Come on. All right.
哦，上帝啊 - [door sighs] - [Marvin] Oh, for heaven's sake.
我把他们带来了 你们不需要感谢我 I've brought the aliens. Don't thank me or anything.
嗷！ [Zaphod] Ah-ha! Ow!
不许动！ - Freeze! - [Ford squeals]
冷冻？（freeze的另一种意思） 我是一个机器人，不是一个冰箱 [Marvin] Freeze? I'm a robot. Not a refrigerator.
- 我不是在和你说话 - 啊，我为什么多嘴？ - I wasn't talking to you, Giggles. - [Marvin] Oh, why do I bother?
- 查福德？ - 福特！ - Zaphod? - Ford!
是你吗？福特！ [Zaphod] Is that you? Ford! Praxibetel Ix!
你怎么到这来了？ What the hell are you doing here?
我只是伸出我的拇指，我们就来了 I just stuck out my thumb and here I am.
- 这就是你的作风 - 看看你！ - [Zaphod] That is so you. - [Ford] Look at you!
银河系的总统 我真不相信你赢了哈玛·科洛拉 President of the Galaxy. I can't believe you beat Humma Kavula.
我也是 [Zaphod] You zarkin' frood.
来见一见我的朋友 阿瑟，这是查福德·碧波洛克思 I want you to meet a friend. Arthur, this is Zaphod Beeblebrox.
哦 Oh.
银河系的总统，他是我的亲戚 President of the Galaxy. This is my cousin. He's a semi-half brother...
- 我们有3个一样的母亲 - 我们见过了 - We share three of the same mothers. - We've met.
是吗？对不起 我对各种生物的记忆力不是很好 [Iaughs] Have we? I'm sorry. I've got a terrible memory for species.
福特，他就是那个 说“想看看我的飞船吗”的人 This is him, Ford. The would-you-Iike- to-see-my-spaceship bloke.
- 是啊 - 是啊 - Hmm. - Yeah.
- 你好，阿瑟 - 特瑞沙！ - Hello, Arthur. - Tricia!
- 你怎么样？ - 特瑞莲 - How you doin'? - Hey, Trillian.
这是我的亲戚福特 This is my semi-half-brother Ix, I'm sorry, Ford.
- 你好 - 你好 - Hi. - Hi.
可以让我们单独谈一下吗？ Um, would you excuse us for a second, please?
你去了地球却没有告诉我？ You went down on that Iittle planet and didn't call me?
对不起，我忘了 我要管理整个银河系 Sorry, I didn't know. I had a galaxy to run.
你叫特瑞沙·麦克米兰，对吗？ [Arthur] Hi, Tricia McMillan, right?
我想他叫你特瑞莲 哪一个名字才是对的呢？ I think he called you Trillian. Which of us got the right one?
我把我的名字变短了 听起来更宇宙化 I shortened it. Something a Iittle more spacey.
原来如此，我想我也应该换一下我的 Right. I was thinking of changing mine to,
换成阿瑟丽亚吧 I don't know, Arthoolia.
这个不错，虽然听上去有些奇怪 [Iaughs] That's a good one. Well, this is weird.
- 你是怎么来的？ - 我只是伸出我的拇指，就到这里了 - How'd you get here? - I just stuck out my thumb.
- 穿着你的睡衣？ - 赶时间嘛 - Right. In your pajamas? - I was in a hurry.
你知道我在这吗？ Okay. Did you know I was here?
别自夸了，我的朋友也是个外星人 Don't flatter yourself. I've got a spaceman too.
总的来说是有些奇怪 Yeah, that's kinda Iike the Dingo Shuffle, yeah.
是的 Okay, um, Iook.
我自己一个人离开了化装舞会 但是我想一到家就给你打电话 I Ieft you at the party. I feel bad, but I was gonna call you when I got back.
现在可回不去了，对吧？ Well, there is no going back now, is there?
你知道发生的事情，对吗？ You do know what happened?
不要说琐事了，我们还要逃跑 这船可是我偷来的 Enough small talk. We're on the run, remember?
对不起，我们话还没说完 Excuse me, we're having a chat.
我想她开始觉得... Well, I think the girl's getting... Boo!
她已经开始讨厌你了地球人 快闭嘴，不然我要踢你了 You blew it with her, Earthman, so shut your face or I'II kick you in the zatch.
- 想打架吗？ - 是的 - You wanna fight? - Okay.
- 不要，不要 - 我只是在开玩笑 - No. No. - I'm just kidding.
让我们成为朋友吧 I'm a kidder. Let's be friends. Let's connect. You and I.
你不知道我要出手打你，对不对？ Didn't see that one coming, did you?
出其不意，哈哈！ Popped right out of the box. You foxy, yeah!
我给他上了一课，福特 他是我船上的客人 Teach your pal a Iesson, Ford. He's a guest on my ship.
他是我船上的客人！ [sings] He's a guest on my ship!
你刚才还说这艘船是偷的 I thought you said you stole it.
[thud]
偷什么？我们说什么了？ Stole what? What are we talking about?
听起来不妙 - [electronic klaxon] - Whoa! That doesn't sound good.
[whoosh]
- 你还好吧？ - 很好，多谢了，特瑞 - Are you okay? - Just fabulous, thanks, "Trill".
过来帮一下忙，我已经忙不过来了 A Iittle help over here. I'm in over my head.
是不是什么事都需要我来做？ I'II take care of this. Good Zarquon, do I have to do everything?
是的！ [Iaughing] Yes, I do!
这个看上去很漂亮 Hey, this is really pretty.
- 不要碰它 - 喔！他们就跟在我们后面 - Don't! - Whoo! They're on our tail.
用枪，或者导弹攻击他们！ Fire a gun. Launch a missile. Do some damage!
[engines roar]
嗷！不要这样！嗷！ Ow! Stop that! Ow!
我只是在开玩笑 我很喜欢你这样打我 Just kiddin'. I Iove it rough. Hit me.
- 电脑？ - 你好 - Uh, computer? - [computer] Hi, there.
我是艾迪，你们的舰载电脑 I'm Eddie, your computer.
我要很不幸告诉你们，那是100艘沃刚人的战舰 I'm pleased to report that it's a fleet of 100 Vogon battle destroyers.
他们发送过来一个消息 They're sending you a message.
我是副总统奎斯特拉·罗托克 This is Vice-President Questular Rontok.
我是在对绑架总统的人讲话 I am speaking to the kidnapper of the President?
她喜欢我 [Zaphod] She digs me.
立即投降，交出偷来的飞船 Surrender the stolen vessel at once
不然我们就要根据银河系法1-8部份 采取合法的行动了 or we will take action as defined and permitted by...
section 1-8 of the Galactic Interstellar Space Bylaws...
查福德，你一定要回来 这真是太荒唐了 Zaphod, please come back now. This is ridiculous.
跳跃到多维空间！快点！ Leap to hyperspace! Come on!
没问题 [computer] Sure thing, fella!
[engines fire up]
[whoosh]
又让他们跑了 No.
他们有多维空间使用许可吗？ Did they have proper hyperspace authorization?
- 没有，指挥官 - 是吗 - No, commander. - Oh.
给我申请追踪逃亡者的表格 Bring me the request to pursue fugitive forms.
这就来，指挥官 - [messenger] I'm coming, sir. - [footsteps]
热死我了 表格在这里 [panting] I'm boiling! Oh, oh. Here's the form, sir.
你们是和我们在一起跑路 还是要我在哪里把你放下？ So are you along for the ride or am I just dropping you somewhere?
看情况了，你们要去哪？ That depends. Where are you going?
我们要去哪？ Where am I going?
- 你还好吗？ - 还好，不知这艘飞船里有茶喝吗 - You okay? - Yeah. Don't suppose there's any tea.
有的，跟我来 我带你看一下厨房 Yes, there is. Come on. I'II show you the kitchen.
当你看到我要给你看的东西时 你会求我带上你的 When you see what I'm about to show you, you'II beg me to take you with us.
银河系现有最好的饮料是 星际清口爆饮 [Guide] The best drink in existence is the Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster,
它的效果是可以让你感觉大脑 被一块包着柠檬的金砖砸中 the effect of which is like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon
wrapped round a large gold brick.
[both scream]
- 真不错，等我一下 - 真不错 - Belgium. Hold it one second. - Belgium.
猿人，地球人，对不起， 你叫什么名字来着？ Ape-man, Earth dude, sorry, what's your name again?
- 阿瑟 - 名字真不错 - [coughs] Arthur. - Right. Gorgeous.
不要介意 听说你的星球被毁了我很难过 No hard feelings, okay? Sorry to hear about your planet...
- 地球 - 是啊，我很喜欢地球 - Earth. - Yeah. I Iiked Earth.
鞋是在那里买的 但是不要告诉那个女孩 Got these boots there. But don't mention it to the girl.
如果你说了，我会把你的脾 从你的身体里掏出来 Because if you do... I'II pull your spleen out through your throat.
- 就着样，谢了，伙计 - 好吧 - AII right. Thanks, buddy. - Okay.
很好，就像那些果酱一样 Good stuff. Like those jammies.
查福德，这两个头是怎么回事 Hey, hey, Zaphod, what's with the two-head thing?
很显然，只有一个大脑可当不上总统 Oh, yeah. Apparently, you can't be president with a whole brain.
这真的很疯狂 It's crazy.
- 所以，你把它分成了两半 - 是的 - Oh, so you carved it up? - Yes.
有一半的我不是当总统的料 Parts of my personality weren't exactly what you'd call presidential.
你知道我在说什么 You know what I'm talkin' about.
你的茶好了 [drinks machine] Your tea is ready.
[gags]
我本该告诉你它只是比较像茶 [spits]
I suppose I should've said it resembles tea. [Iaughs]
两个头是女孩们所想要的吗？ So, two heads is what does it for a girl?
我的意思是，如果我有2个，或者3个头... I mean, if I'd had two heads, or three...
或者你自己的宇宙飞船 Or your own spaceship.
还有什么东西他拥有两个？ Anything else he's got two of?
不要这样，阿瑟 Come on, Arthur, don't be Iike that.
我应该变成什么样？ 绿色？闪光的？ What am I supposed to be Iike? Green? BIeeping?
如果你喜欢的话，我可以倒翻我的眼睑 I can fold my eyelids inside out if you Iike.
你看到这个东西了吗？ Okay, Iook. Do you see this?
它可以探知你的渴望 然后把你的渴望变成事实 This detects what you're craving and makes it for you.
请享用你的蛋糕 [machine] Enjoy your doughnut.
看到这个东西了吗？ - Do you see this? - [buzzing]
它可以在切面包的同时 把面包烤好 This toasts bread while you're slicing it.
我们在一艘宇宙飞船上，阿瑟 我们在宇宙里 We're on a spaceship, Arthur. In space.
- 你告诉我你要出去走一走 - 去马达加斯加岛 - I told you I wanted to get away. - To Madagascar.
这是不是一个测试，我没有通过 That was... some sort of test. And I failed.
- 疼吗？ - 感觉不是很好 - How badly does it hurt? - It doesn't feel great.
不，我是说你的下巴 No, I mean your chin.
- 啊... - 我也许有阿斯匹林 - Ah... - I might have an aspirin.
是吗 Right.
- 嘿！ - [mice squeak] - Hey!
特瑞沙... 特瑞莲，对不起 我有些事要告诉你 Tricia... Trillian, sorry. There's something I have to tell you.
- 请，不要... - 好戏开始了，特瑞 - PIease, don't. - [Zaphod] Showtime, Trill.
我要去准备一下 不要乱按按钮 I'm going to set up. Buttons aren't toys.
不要乱按按钮 Buttons aren't toys.
当我看到我要给你们看的东西时 Anyway... When I saw what I'm about to show you,
我认识到，我应该把我的大脑分为两部份 that's when I realized why I had to do what I did to my brain.
这感觉上有些... I think. It's all a Iittle...
不安 ...shaky.
[electronic whirring]
我看过了，全都是废话 [Marvin] I've seen it. It's rubbish.
[trumpet fanfare]
几百万年以前 [Guide] Many millions of years ago,
一个拥有超级智慧的种族 a race of hyperintelligent, pan-dimensional beings
开始争论关于生命的意义 got so fed up with the constant bickering about the meaning of life,
他们选择了2个最聪明的人 that they commissioned two of their brightest and best
设计和建造了一台超级巨型电脑 to design and build a stupendous super-computer
来计算关于宇宙、生命和世间万物的终极答案 to calculate the answer to life, the universe and everything.
深思 O Deep Thought,
我们想让你告诉我们答案 we want you to tell us the answer.
有关什么的答案？ [Deep Thought] The answer to what?
关于宇宙、生命和世间万物 [girl #2] The answer to Iife, the universe, everything.
我们想要一个答案 简单一点的答案 [girl #1 ] We'd really Iike an answer. Something simple.
我需要想一想 [Deep Thought] Hmm, I'd have to think about that.
在7千5百万年后在回到这里来 Return to this place in exactly seven-and-a-half million years.
- 完了吗？ - 还没有，他们真的回去了 - [Ford] Is it finished? - No, there's more. They go back.
- 在7千5百万年后？ - 是的 - Seven-and-a-half million years Iater? - That's right, they do.
[cheering, trumpets]
深思，你有... Deep Thought, do you have...
你们要的答案？ 是的 但是你们不会喜欢这个答案 [Deep Thought] An answer for you? Yes, but you're not going to like it.
- 这不重要，我们必须知道这个答案 - 好吧 - It doesn't matter. We must know it. - All right.
终极问题的答案是... The answer to the ultimate question...
[cheering]
...关于宇宙、生命和世间万物... ...of life, the universe and everything...
[cheering]
...是... ...is...
[cheering]
...42 ... 42.
什么？ [man] Yeah? What?
42？ [woman] 42?
是的，我彻底的想过这个问题 答案是42 [Deep Thought] Yes, I thought it over quite thoroughly. It's 42.
如果我知道问题是什么，答案也许会简单些 It would've been simpler to have known what the question was.
但是这个问题是终极问题 关于所有问题的问题 But it was the question. The ultimate question. Of everything!
这不是一个问题 That's not a question.
只有你知道问题是什么 你才会明白答案的意思 Only when you know the question will you know what the answer means.
- 那告诉我那的终极问题 - 我不能告诉你们，但是有一个人可以 - Give us the ultimate question then. - I can't. But there is one who can.
一台可以计算出终极问题的电脑 A computer that will calculate the ultimate question.
这台电脑极度复杂 A computer of such infinite complexity,
甚至生命本身也是它操作矩阵的一部份 that life itself will form part of its operational matrix.
然而你们以全新但原始的方式 进入到这台电脑里 And you yourselves shall take on new, more primitive forms,
去导航这个长达一千万年的程序 and go down into the computer to navigate its 1 0-million-year program.
我会为你们设计这台电脑 它会被称为... I shall design this computer for you, and it shall be called...
- 这就完了？ - 是的 - That's it? - That's it.
你在寻找那个终极问题吗？ [Ford] You're Iooking for the ultimate question? You? Why?
是的，为什么是42，我想不通 [Zaphod] I tried that. Why? 42. Doesn't work.
- 我们准备出发了 - 为什么... - Let's get it ready, baby. - Why...
你想知道那个终极问题？ ...do you want to know the ultimate question?
一部份是好奇心 一部份是我想来一次冒险 Partly curiosity, partly a sense of adventure,
但是，实际上我想变得有名和富有 but, uh, mostly I think it's for the fame and the money.
你是银河系的总统 You're President of the Galaxy.
- 是啊，阿曼 - 阿瑟 - [Zaphod] Yes, Arman. - Arthur.
当总统只会有一时出名 Whatever. Presidential fame is temporary.
如果我找到那个终极问题 我会流芳百世 I find the question, that's permanent. It sticks.
而且所有人都会认为你很高深 PIus, everyone thinks you're deep. Win-win.
只要我一按那个按钮 我想我们就回到达马格拉喜亚 We just hit that button and bam, we're at Magrathea, I think.
也许我按2次，我们也不会到达那里 We've hit it twice and we're still not there, but anyway...
- 你要参加吗？ - 那当然 - You in? - AIways.
- 太好了！ - 我不想参加 - [Zaphod] AII right! - [Marvin] Uh, I want to get off.
- 对不起，我们到底要做什么？ - 这个！ - Uh, sorry, what exactly are we doing? - This!
[boom]
无穷概率推进是一种全新的 在几秒内实现跨星系飞行的方法 [Guide] The Infinite Improbability Drive is a wonderful new method
of crossing interstellar distances in a few seconds,
它不会在多维空间里转来转去 without all that tedious mucking about in hyperspace.
当概率推进达到无穷概率的时候 As the Improbability Drive reaches infinite improbability,
它能几乎同时穿过每个宇宙中 每个可能的点 it passes through every conceivable point in every conceivable universe
almost simultaneously.
换句话说 你永远不会知道最后会到达哪里 So you're never sure where you'll end up
甚至你到达的时候是什么模样 or even what species you'll be when you get there.
所以你要根据不同的情况来改变你的装束 It's therefore important to dress accordingly.
这种推进方法的发明得益于对有穷概率的研究 The Drive was invented following research into finite improbability
那个通常用来在聚会里搞气氛 often used to break the ice at parties
根据不确定原理 让所有女宾的内衣全部向左移一步 by making all the molecules in the hostess 's undergarments
Ieap one foot to the left
in accordance with the theory of indeterminacy.
许多著名的物理学家不相信这个理论 Many physicists said they wouldn 't stand for that sort of thing,
一部分因为它玷污了科学的名声 partly because it debased science,
但是其实主要的原因是他们 没有被邀请参加这种聚会 but mostly because they didn 't get invited to those sort of parties.
[squeaks and clangs]
[engines rumble]
每次我按这个按钮都会这样吗？ [Zaphod] Wow, is this gonna happen every time we hit that button?
应该是的 [Trillian] Very probably, yes.
我想地球人要吐了 [Marvin] Ah, I think the Earthman's about to be sick.
吐到垃圾桶里，猿人 这飞船是新的 [Zaphod] In the trashcan, ape-man. This ship's new.
真恶心！ Aw, come on!
我们变会正常了 [Trillian] We have normality.
我们到了吗？ Did it work? Are we there?
是的，我们到了 马格拉喜亚！ Yeah. We're here. Magrathea!
好象不是 I don't think so. Eddie...
- 嗷！ - 这是什么星球？ - Ow! - What planet is this?
我来查一下 [Eddie] I'm checking for you.
是谁刚才拔了我一根头发？ Did you just pluck one of my hairs? Off my head?
久等了 很不幸的告诉你们 [Eddie] Thank you for waiting. Sorry to disappoint,
这个星球不是马格拉喜亚 but this is not Magrathea.
我们现在在维尔多德6星的轨道附近 We are currently in orbit around the planet Viltvodle Six.
- 哈玛·科洛拉！ - [squelch] - Humma Kavula!
马格拉喜亚要等一下了 我有一些事要在这个星球处理 Magrathea's gonna have to wait. I got a score to settle on this planet.
- 哈玛·科洛拉！ - [engines roar] - [Zaphod] Humma Kavula!
在宇宙被创造时 [Guide] In the beginning, the universe was created.
很多人都很生气 认为这是一个很坏的决定 This made a lot of people very angry, and is widely regarded as a bad move.
[crowd shouting]
许多种族认为它是由上帝创造的 Many races believed it was created by some sort of god,
但是维尔沃德6星上的贾特拉沃迪人 though the Jatravartid people of Viltvodle Six
认为宇宙是从一种叫做大绿虫的生物 打喷嚏的时候从鼻子里喷出来的 firmly believe that the entire universe was sneezed out of the nose of a being
called the Great Green Arkleseizure.
哈玛·科洛拉！ [Zaphod] Humma Kavula!
贾特拉沃迪人拥有很小的蓝色身体和50只手 [Guide] The Jatravartids, who lived in fear
他们曾生生活在恐惧中 of the time they called the Coming of the Great White Handkerchief,
那个时代叫做“巨大的白色手帕要来啦” were small blue creatures with more than 50 arms each.
他是历史里面唯一一种 在发明轮子前发明除臭剂的生物 They were unique in being the only race in history
to have invented the aerosol deodorant before the wheel.
总统先生！ Mr President!
你好！ Hey, all right. How you doin'?
这是什么？我喜欢这个！ Hey, what have we here? I Iove it!
[blasts]
你看上去真不错！ Hey, I Iove you. Fantastic!
你们是亲戚吗？ You guys related? Don't go changing.
阿瑟，我想喝一杯 Arthur, I want a drink.
我想我以前来过这里 不是吗？ I think I've been here before. Have I been here before?
嘿！ [women] Ixxie!
- 我的确来过这里 - 哈玛·科洛拉！ - I've been here before. - [Zaphod] Humma Kavula!
跟我来 Come on.
特瑞沙！特瑞沙，我... Tricia! Tricia, I...
[Iaughter]
∮ [church choir] Now we await with eager expectation
∮ Thy handkerchief to bring us back to Thee
你好，哈玛 Hello, Humma.
- 加入我们，请坐 - 见到你很高兴，谢谢 - [priest] Join us. Sit down. - Good to see you. Thanks. AII right.
手帕要来啦 [Humma] The handkerchief is coming.
让我们乞求万能的神怜悯的向我们吹口气 Let us pray the AImighty will exhale a breath of compassion on us all.
那就是哈玛·科洛拉 我以为他在发誓 So that's Humma Kavula. I thought he was just swearing.
我们抬起我们的鼻子，堵住再弄通 We Iift our noses, clogged and unblown,
以表达对你的尊敬 in reverence to you.
请保佑我们，给我们手帕吧 将我们擦拭干净 Send the handkerchief, O BIessed One, so that it may wipe us clean.
在你那精致而又韵味十足的名义下 我们提出此请求 We ask this and all things in Thy precious and alliterative name.
[all sneeze]
[all sniffle]
保佑你 BIess you.
这到底是怎么会事？ - [door bangs] - [Zaphod] We goin' in here?
我喜欢这个漂亮的地方 AII right, I Iike it. It's big, it's gold, it's fancy. Fancy pants.
查福德·碧波洛克思，我们臭名昭著的总统 [Humma] Zaphod Beeblebrox, our infamous President.
是什么让你来到我们这个星球？ What brings you to our humble planet?
我想你知道我为什么来这里 [Zaphod] Oh, I think you know why I'm here.
不，我不知道 No, I don't think I do.
你以为你不知道 但是我们两个都明白...你是知道的 I think you think you don't. But we both know... you do.
和平时一样 EIoquent as always.
你的表达能力还是这么差 Your ability to articulate never ceases to amaze.
真可笑，在选举时 [Zaphod] That's funny. During the campaign, Humma,
你是我的对手 when you were my opponent running against me,
你说我很傻 you said I was stupid.
选举已经成为历史了 但是查福德... The election is ancient history, Zaphod, but...
...如果我记忆好的话，你赢了选举 ...if memory serves, you won,
证明了人民选择的是帅气 proving that good Iooks and charm win
而不是睿智和良好的管理能力 over brilliance and the ability to govern.
但是实际上你很傻 And, incidentally, you are stupid.
打搅一下，哈玛先生 [Arthur] Excuse me, Mr Humma, sir.
我想这里有一些误会 Uh, I just want to say, there's been some sort of terrible mix up
因为他不是和我们一起的 'cause, actually, he's not with us.
我们来这里敬拜你 他是跟踪我们来的 We came to worship you. He followed us and...
他长高了，他可以长高 He grew, didn't he. He's not that tall.
你不会是跑了半个宇宙来谈选举的事吧 You didn't come half-way across the galaxy to settle a campaign grudge.
你为什么来这里？ Why are you here?
当然不会啦 Of course not, that's, that's ridiculous.
这些年我被困在另一个星球 并不是要躲开你 I've been stranded on a strange planet for years, I haven't been avoiding you.
你看上去很好，过得也不错 You Iook great. You're doing well.
而且你又长高了 You've grown, obviously.
等一等！我们也不知道来这里干什么 - [Zaphod] Aggh! Oomph! - Wait! We don't know why we're here.
我们想去马格拉喜亚 但是我们的飞船把我们带到了这里 We were trying to get to Magrathea and our ship brought us here.
真不可思议 How very, very improbable.
[squelch]
我保留了一些我以前的纪念品 [electronic buzz]
I kept a few souvenirs from my former Iife.
在我宇宙海盗生涯的时候 Ah, the heady days of space piracy.
但是即使无穷概率推进也需要坐标 But... even an Infinite Improbability Drive requires coordinates.
我正好拥有这个东西 Which I happen to have.
不行，不行，不行 - [Zaphod groans] - No, no, no.
你不可能不劳而获，查福德 You don't get something for nothing, Zaphod.
作为回报你必须得给我些什么 You must bring me something in return.
- 什，什么？ - 一支枪 - [chuckles] Wh... What? - [Humma] A gun.
- 一支枪？ - 一支非常特殊的枪 - A gun? - A very special gun.
是由世上最强的计算机设计出来的 Designed by the greatest computer ever invented.
不过找到它的唯一办法就是前往马格拉喜亚 But the only way to find it is to go to Magrathea.
好的，我去为你取枪 先把坐标给我 Fine. I'II get your gun. Just give me the coordinates.
那么你给我什么作为你会回来的保证呢？ And what will you give me to ensure your return?
总统言出必行 My word as President.
不，我需要一个人质 No. I need a hostage.
只要是查福德·碧波洛克思最在乎的东西…… Only... what does Zaphod Beeblebrox treasure?
- [Humma whistles] - [gulp]
别这样 - [whistling] - Come on.
噢，不 [Zaphod chuckles hysterically] Oh, no!
嘿，悠着点 - [Zaphod] Hey, take it easy now. - [electric saw]
不，停下。 啊！哦，还有点儿痒 No, stop it. Ah! Oh, that kind of tickles.
两个脑袋总胜过一个，爽很多 Two heads are better than one. Double your pleasure.
不公平！你需要我！ [Zaphod's second head] You need me!
回来！回来！ 别把我丢下！ Come back! Come back! Don't Ieave me alone.
[Hawaiian hula music]
回来！ [Zaphod's second head] Come back!
我原以为只有我认为 你男朋友是个自恋的白痴 [Arthur] I thought I alone considered your boyfriend
现在全银河系也都这么认为 a narcissistic moron, but the whole galaxy does.
瞧瞧你自己吧 “对不起，尊敬的哈玛先生” What about you? "Excuse me, Mr Humma, sir."
“我们和他不是一伙的，我们是来朝拜你的” 非常勇敢 "We're not with him. We just came to worship you." Very brave.
福特死哪去了？ - Where the hell is Ford? - [whoosh]
预备，前进 左，右，左，右 [Vogon] By the Ieft, march. Left, right, Ieft, right.
总统先生， 我们是来保护您的 Mr President, we're here for your protection.
向绑匪开火！ [Vogon Kwaltz] Fire upon the kidnapper!
嘿，别这样 Hey, come on!
总统就是绑架者 你会杀死他的 The President is the kidnapper. You'II kill him!
锁上了 Bang! Bang!
[Arthur] It's Iocked!
谢谢你，亲爱的，保持联系 Thank you, darling. I'II be in touch.
[Ford shrieks]
来吧， 查福德 Come on, Zaphod.
- 嘿，我错过了什么？ - 你刚才去干吗了？ - Hey, what did I miss? - What have you been doing?
现场勘查。他们发现我们了？ 真是群无赖！ Field research. So they found where we are? Belgium bummer!
他们正朝我们开火！ 我们怎么办？ They're shooting at us! What are we going to do?
- 我有个主意 - 把他推出去，然后我们从另一边跑？ - [Trillian] I have an idea. - Pushing him out and running away?
怎么？他们要的就是他 [Arthur] What? He's the one they want.
你出不去的 你在干吗？ You can't go out there. What are you doing?
- 退后！ - 到底怎么了？ - Back off! - [Vogon] What's going on?
总统在我手上 我发誓我会杀了他 I have the President and I will kill him, I swear.
- 那玩意能伤人吗？ - 我不这么想 - Could that actually kill him? - I don't think so.
- 那是喷雾罐 - 哦 - It's an aerosol can. - Oh.
这就好，怕了吧，怕了吧 [Arthur] Okay, frightened now, frightened.
- 嗨，小家伙 - 抓住她！ - [Zaphod] Hi, Iittle guy. - Get her!
- 查福德，不，别这样 - 阿瑟！ - [Arthur] Zaphod, no, come on! - [Trillian] Arthur!
- 阿瑟！ - 特瑞沙！ - [Trillian] Arthur! - Tricia!
- 阿瑟！ - 特瑞沙！等等 - Arthur! - Tricia! Wait!
阿瑟！ [Trillian] Arthur!
反抗都是徒劳的 Resistance is useless!
[engines blasting off]
带她去沃刚星球，队长 [Kwaltz] Bring her to Vogsphere for processing, captain.
马戏团在哪里？ - [door sighs] - [Zaphod] Where's the circus?
他们抓走了她，都是我的错 我们去追 They got her and it's my fault. We have to go!
我们走 [Zaphod] Let's go!
喔！主机，带我们去马格拉喜亚 Whoo! Computer, take us to Magrathea!
什么？不，不，不 我们得去救特瑞沙 What? No, no, no. We've got to go after Tricia.
- 谁？ - 特瑞莲 - Who? - Trillian.
他们抓走了特瑞莲 你这半个脑子的白痴 They've got Trillian, you stupid half-brained git!
没错，你搞明白了 Right, you're coming out! [Iaughs hysterically]
主机，我们不去马格拉喜亚 我们要跟踪那些飞船 Computer, we don't want to go to Magrathea, we want to follow the ships.
我也想那样，但是你们知道吗？ 我的导航系统失灵了 [computer] I'd love to, but my guidance system has been deactivated.
拜托，不是吧！ Oh, come on!
抱歉，但这并不是我的错 [computer] I'm sorry. It wasn't my fault.
你在这船上干吗呢？ What you doing on this ship?
- 福特？ - 马文 - Ford? - Marvin.
我正和飞船的主机交谈 I've been talking to the ship's computer.
然后呢？ And?
它不喜欢我 It hates me.
不，啊，艾迪，主机 No, uh-uh. Eddie, computer,
有没有其他办法去跟踪那些飞船？ is there another way to follow the ships?
启动紧急逃生舱 真正超爽有趣的飞行！ [computer] Activating Emergency Escape Pod. It's super-neat and fun to fly!
喔！ [Arthur] Ow!
不可思议！ [Marvin] Unbelievable!
我来了，我来了 好的，福特，有什么主意？ [Arthur] I'm in. I'm in. Okay, Ford, do you have any idea?
按这个先 [Ford] We'II press this.
噢，不不不不不不不 [Arthur] Oh, no, no, no, no.
- 这个按钮 - 好的。咋没动静？哦，好了 - [Ford] This button. - Okay. Nothing's... Okay!
干的好，干的好 Good man, good man, good man.
- 好的，我们正晃呢... - 你忘了你的毛巾 - Okay, we're wobbling... - You forgot your towel.
让他走开！我要杀了他！ [Arthur] Get him off me! I'II kill him!
- 好了，福特，我们，我们... - 好些了吗？ - Okay, Ford, there's a... - [Ford] Is that better?
没，更糟了，更糟了 No, that's worse, that's worse.
- 干吗？干吗？别这样，别这样 - 好的 - Do what... I don't need that. - Okay.
别摇了 马文，啥主意？ [Arthur] Stop the rocking. Marvin, any ideas?
我有很多主意 可没一个好主意 [Marvin] I have a million ideas. They all point to certain death.
多谢，马文 [Arthur] Thanks, Marv.
沃刚星球
[distant thunder]
[crab] Ooh, ooh. Eee. Ooh, ooh.
[whine of spaceship plummeting]
- [crash] - [crab] Whoo!
[explosion]
[crab] Whee! Whee!
[crab] Yeah! Yeah!
[coughing]
- 马格拉喜亚！ - 不，我们在沃刚 - Magrathea! - [Ford] No, we're on the Vogon planet.
- 不是，不是，我们在马格拉喜亚！ - 这是沃刚星球 - Yes, it is. It's Magrathea! - This is Vogsphere.
- 没错，是马格拉喜亚。我有数的 - 不，不是 - Yeah, Magrathea. I know it. - No, it's not.
- 压根不是马格拉喜亚 - 这就是马格拉喜亚 - There is no Magrathea. - Yes, it is.
- 你在干吗？ - 我的头被拿走了 - What are you doing? - They took my head.
阿克图兰人的东西 They have these on Arcturan megafreighters.
用来集中注意力的 They use them when they need to concentrate.
- 到底是什么？ - "怡神醒脑帽" - What is it? - It's a thinking cap.
[pulsing]
好了 - [Ford] There you go. - [pulsing stops]
给他来些柠檬醒醒脑，十分钟或更长 Should give him some zest for about ten minutes or so.
现在我对目前的困境感觉好多了 [Marvin] Now I'm feeling much better about our predicament.
[crash]
我在指南上查过该如何解救 沃刚星球上的囚犯 [Ford] I checked the Guide for how to rescue a prisoner from Vogsphere.
上面说 别救！ 我猜你有更好的计划 It said don't. I'm assuming you have a better plan.
唔，我有个差不多的想法，那就是我们…… 噢！ Well, I kind of had this idea that we could... Ow!
- 你们看见没？ - 看什么？ - Did anyone see that? - See what?
- 怎么了？ - 呃... - What was it? - [Arthur] Uh...
没什么，只是，呃，没什么 只是我的幻觉 Nothing, it's, uh, nothing. It's just my imagination.
行了。现在，大家都停下来 就一会，拜托，都看着我 Okay, right. Now, everyone just stop a minute, please, and Iook at me.
这里肯定有些不对劲 There's... definitely something going on here.
留……神 Just... just watch.
留神 Just watch.
好的，我想我们... Okay, I think we...
- 喔 - 啊，哈！你也一样！ - Oooh! - Ah-ha! You too!
怎么回事？ Yeah, what was that?
我猜... I thi...
查福德，你以为呢？ Zaphod, what do you think?
想猜... 噢！ 那是什么？哎呀！ I think... Ow! Zarquon! What was that? Jeez!
我有个建议 但是你们不会听 I'd make a suggestion, but you wouldn't Iisten.
- 从来都没人听 - 我有个主意 - No one ever does. - [Ford] I have an idea.
噢，噢，噢，福特！ 干掉它！摆平它！ Ooh, ooh, ooh, Ford! Kill it! Get rid of it!
好了，什么也别想 Okay, don't think.
别乱想，别分神 Nobody think. No ideas.
别来理论，啥都别想 No theories. No nothing.
[AII] Ow!
糟透了 特瑞莲就在附近 This is crazy. Trillian is in there somewhere.
- 我们得想法子救她 - 我有个主... - We need an idea to save her. - [Zaphod] I have an ide...
- 啊！逃啊！ - Ah! Run! - Yeeaaghh!
[Zaphod imitates kung-fu cries]
哦！啊！ [Arthur] Ooh! Ah!
[tram bell rings]
该停车啊！ [Vogon] You're supposed to stop.
[police siren]
好了，我没想什么 没想。没啥主意 Okay, so I'm not thinking. Not thinking. No ideas coming.
有了！我有个不是办法的办法 Okay, this isn't an idea that has any merit at all,
但是，马文，你能不能 出手 帮帮忙？ but, Marvin, can you give me a hand?
她在哪？ Okay, where is she?!
谁？你找负责机械臂维修主管？ Who, the director of robot arm repair?
来自巴拉德星的 特瑞沙·伽思托克·麦克米拉努斯？ Tricia Yggarstuk McMillanus of... BIaard?
不，是地球的特瑞沙·玛丽·麦克米兰 No, Tricia Marie McMillan of Earth.
哦，没错 Oh. Right.
[keys clank]
[computer squeaks and squeals]
对不起，没有地球的记录 Sorry, no record of Earth.
试试银河分区ZZ9PZA? Galactic sector ZZ9 PIural Z AIpha?
- 哦，好的 - 她在撒谎 - Oh, yes. - [Questular] She's Iying.
她苗条，她美丽 并且她在撒谎 She's skinny, and she's pretty, and she's Iying.
- 嗯 - 啊，找到了。地球 - Mmmm. - [Vogon clerk] Here we are. Earth.
哦，唔，“被摧毁” Oh. Um, "destroyed."
呃，你有没有第二家园？ Um, do you have a second home planet?
- 摧毁了？那不可能 - 这上面显示如此 - Destroyed? That's impossible. - That's what it says here.
上面说为超空间高速公路的建造让路而被摧毁 Says it was destroyed to make way for a hyperspace expressway.
[electronic pulses]
[explosion]
是谁脑子抽风下了命令 去摧毁一个星球？ Who in their right mind gives an order to destroy a planet?
- 他说是灰色的建筑物，对吗？ - 所有的建筑物都是灰色的 - He said the gray building, right? - AII the buildings are gray.
“出手 帮帮忙”，哈哈，真逗 "Give me a hand." Ha-ha, very funny.
只有一只手我怎么驾驶这逃生舱？ 愚蠢的人类 How am I supposed to drive this pod with one arm? Stupid human.
过去，填表 [Vogon clerk #2] Go and fill that in.
然后，确定在你填表时…… Then, make sure, when you fill in the facilitating form...
这个交给我。我是英国人 我知道如何排队 Leave this to me. I'm British. I know how to queue.
如果你填好表了 [Vogon clerk #2] If you'd fill that form in for me,
请尽快返还给我 and return it as soon as possible.
- 填表的笔在你左手边... - 你可是总统，想想办法？ - Writing implements to your Ieft... - You're President. Can you do anything?
总统没啥权利，他们的工作就是吸引开对权利的注意力 没冒犯你的意思，你人其实不错 Presidents don't have power. Their job is to draw attention away from it.
嘿，你们大家好 Hey, how you doin'?
嘿，是我，你们的总统 Hey, it's me, your President! What's goin' on? Thanks for coming.
好的，我知道你这脑袋 好的 AII right. I know that sponge. AII right!
- 下一个！ - 总统过来了 - Next! - President coming through.
最近如何，尖头？ 啊，好，是我 How you doin', Pinhead? No, really, it's me.
我喜欢歌舞伎，瞧瞧那个 I Iove kabuki. Look at that.
借过 - [Arthur] Out the way. - [alien roars]
来，亲一个 - Give us a kiss! - [alien squeals]
你好，我来是要释放一名囚犯的 Hi, I've come about release of a prisoner.
囚犯释放表格 Prisoner release form.
呃，什么？ Oh, wha...?
我不相信你 I don't believe you.
这是命令状 These are the orders.
“爱你吻你的”？！ （签名） "Love and kisses"?!
嗯，现在，根据银河刑法典 Mm. Now, according to the Galactic Penal Code,
因绑架总统将被告 the punishment for a presidential kidnapping
喂给特拉尔的贪婪猛兽——食虫者 is to be fed to the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal.
回头见 Good day.
放开我 [Trillian] Ow, get off of me!
喔！这到底是什么？ Ow! What the hell is that?
喔，不，等等！一定是场误会 Ow, no, wait, wait! There's been some kind of mistake. Ah!
- 将右边的框全部勾上 - 好的，搞定 - Tick all the boxes on the right. - Right. Got it.
不是那个框 Not that one!
当你陷入无法逃生的境地，你会怎么办？ [Guide] What to do if you find yourself stuck with no hope of rescue.
想想你曾多么幸运 想想你的生活曾多么美好 Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far.
但是如果你过去的生活不怎么样 Alternatively, if life hasn 't been good to you so far,
那么就目前这样的情形而言 which, given your current circumstances seems more likely,
幸运的你该意识到，糟糕的生活结束啦！ consider how lucky you are that it won 't be troubling you much longer.
[T rillian growls]
好了，表给你 Right, there we go.
喔，绑架总统 Oh, kidnapping the President.
不，她不符合获释资格 Oh, no, she's not eligible for release at this time.
那么好吧，你看 这就是总统 Okay. Right. Look, this is the President.
- 喔 - 好了，看，明白了？ - [Vogon] Oh! - Okay. See, there?
他说整个绑架这件事 是个天大的误会 He says the kidnapping business was a horrible misunderstanding.
是呀 Oh, yeah.
她本意不是那样 总统令你放人 [Arthur] She meant nothing by it. He's ordering you to Iet her go.
但是这不是总统释放囚犯的表格 But this isn't a presidential release of prisoner form.
那是蓝色的 Those are blue.
- 我留在这 - 好的，拿着。等会…… - I'II stay here. - AII right. Hold that. Okay. Wai...
- [roars] - [Trillian screams]
喔，他今天饿坏了 Oh, he's hungry today. [chuckles]
这是蓝色的，对了 That's blue. Right.
- 我可不是记者 - 我们是好朋友 - [Ford] I'm not a journalist. - We're just hanging out.
好了，这是，呃 为释放特瑞沙·麦克米兰 Okay, this is, uh, it's for Tricia McMillan.
特瑞沙·麦克米兰，嗯，好的 Tricia McMillan. Mm. Okay.
长官，这是释放表格 [minion] Sir, it's a release form.
谢谢 Thank you.
她可以走了 She's free to go.
放了她 - Release her. - [Trillian screams]
查福德就在这 好的，那么，那也不错 Zaphod's here. Well, then, uh, that's fine then.
我们去找他 Let's just go and get him.
我们这是在等谁？ Who are we waiting for again?
不，我是真不知道 No, I'm serious.
特瑞沙！ Tricia!
- 特瑞沙 - 特瑞 - Tricia. - [Zaphod] Trill.
- 嘿，来吧 - 你这白痴 - Hey, come on. - You idiot!
你签署了摧毁地球的命令 You signed the order to destroy Earth.
- 他干的？ - 我干的？ - He did? - I did?
是的，“爱你吻你的查福德” 你压根看都没看，对吗？ Yes. "Love and kisses, Zaphod"? You didn't even read it, did you?
甜心，我是银河系的总统 我没那么多时间花在看文件上 Honey, I'm President of the Galaxy. I don't get a Iot of time for reading.
整个星球，我的家 An entire planet, my home,
被摧毁了，就因为你当他们 要你的签名 destroyed because you thought they wanted your autograph.
- 他们陷害我！ - 你是个白痴 - [Zaphod] They framed me! - Are you an idiot?
- 特瑞莲 - 你是知道的，为什么不告诉我？ - Trillian. - You knew. Why didn't you tell me?
- 他恐吓我 - 长点胆量，阿瑟 - He threatened me. - Get a backbone, Arthur.
噢，胆量？那么跑来救你又如何？ 可都是我的主意，喔 Oh, a backbone? What about coming here to rescue you? Thank you. My idea. Oh!
真蠢！ Stupid!
- 手给你 - 想的真周到！ - Got your arm. - [Marvin] How considerate.
好了，那么，所有幸运的 还有两只手的人都抓牢了 Right, then, all those Iucky enough to have two arms, hold tight.
哦，总统在考验我的耐心 Oh, the President tests my patience.
这次我要亲自追击他 备好我的飞船 This time I shall pursue him myself. Ready my ship.
不错，总算如此 Fantastic. At Iast.
[whistle sounds]
哦。一小时的中饭时间，各位 Oh. That's one hour for Iunch, everybody.
今天我想喝汤 I think I'II have soup today.
在《银河百科全书》上对于爱情的描述是 “极其复杂，不可定义” [Guide]The Encyclopedia Galactica, in its chapter on love,
states that it is far too complicated to define.
而在《银河系漫游指南》是这样描述爱情的： “逃避爱，尽可能的” The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has this to say on love.
"Avoid, if at all possible. "
不幸的是，阿瑟·丹特从未读过 《银河系漫游指南》 Unfortunately, Arthur Dent has never read
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
- 哦，我很抱歉 - 没什么，进来吧 - Oh, I'm so sorry. - No, come in.
我，我没…… I... I didn't...
嗯，听着，呃…… Um, Iook, uh...
特瑞莲，我想说得是 你是对的 Trillian, I just wanted to say, you were right,
我本该告诉你，而且如果你生我气 我也完全理解 I should've told you, and I understand totally if you're angry with me.
嗯，是我活该 我知道你一定觉得... Um, for what it's worth, I know how you must be feeling...
- 递毛巾给我好吗? - 好啊，给... - Can you hand me a towel? - Yeah, sure, this...
谢谢 Thank you.
事实上，我想要说的是…… [Arthur] Actually, what I was going to say was...
...如果当初答应你 然后我们去马达加斯加 ...if I'd said yes to you and gone to Madagascar,
现在我们都不会在这里了 then neither of us would be here now.
我想那样或许更有些意义 I just thought that might count for something.
现在都不重要了 It doesn't matter.
[Arthur sighs]
[door sighs]
好了，主机，带我们去…… 哪儿？我们要去哪儿来着？ AII right, computer, take us to... Where are we... Where we headed again?
好的好的，我得再给你来个柠檬 Okay, I'm gonna get you another Iemon.
好的 AII right.
启动概率推进 [computer] Engaging Improbability Drive.
不，查福德，不 按钮可不是闹着玩的，你都干了些什么？ [Ford] No, Zaphod, no. Buttons are not toys. What did you do?
目的地马格拉喜亚确认！ Magrathean coordinates accepted.
- [blast off] - [squeaks]
[blast]
我兴奋的告诉你们 [computer] It blows my circuits to tell you
我们现在在海拔300英里高度的 that we're in orbit, at an altitude of 300 miles,
传奇行星马格拉喜亚的轨道上 around the legendary planet of Magrathea.
马格拉喜亚！马格拉喜亚！ Magrathea! Magrathea!
马格拉喜亚！ Magrathea!
难以置信 - [sighs] - [Zaphod] Unbelievable.
天哪！ [Marvin] Incredible.
甚至比我原先料想的还糟 It's even worse than I thought it would be.
你们好，这是为不速之客录制的声明 [man] Greetings. This is a recorded announcement as we are all out.
马格拉喜亚商贸理事会感谢您的访问 The Commercial Council of Magrathea thanks you for your visit,
但是遗憾地通知您整个星球目前暂时关闭 but regrets that the entire planet is temporarily closed.
如果您想留言，请在提示音后 留下您的名字和能联系到你的行星地址 If you'd like to leave your name and a planet where you can be contacted,
kindly do so at the tone.
- 一个行星怎么可能关闭？ - 不管它，兄弟 - How can a planet be closed? - Zarkin' A, cousin.
好的，主机，继续前进 我们下去 Okay, computer, keep going. T ake us down.
愿意效劳 [computer] I'd be happy to.
[electronic tone]
很高兴您对我们星球的热情并未消退 [message] It is gratifying that your enthusiasm
for our planet continues unabated.
作为感谢 As a token of our appreciation,
请笑纳我们刚发射的2枚 对准你们飞船的核导弹 we hope you will enjoy the two thermo-nuclear missiles
we've just sent to converge with your craft.
为保证日后的服务质量 To ensure on-going quality of service,
你们死翘翘的过程将被记录 并作为日后的培训教材，谢谢 your death may be monitored for training purposes. Thank you.
我很高兴的通知您 [computer] I'm delighted to tell you
2枚热导核弹正朝我们飞来 there are two nuclear missiles heading right for us.
若您不反对 我将采取规避措施 If you don 't mind, I'm going to take evasive action.
[engines whoosh]
[shouts and cries]
有东西正干扰我的导航系统 [computer] Something 's jamming my guidance system.
45秒后命中 Impact minus 45 seconds.
主机，想点办法 Computer, do something!
好的，转为手动驾驶 祝好运 [computer] Sure. Handing over manual control. Good luck.
[brakes screech]
[missiles whoosh]
我需要帮手 [Zaphod] I need some help.
只有两只手我忙不过来 I can't do this without my third arm.
阿瑟，抓住我的手 - [clunk] - Arthur, grab my hand!
[shouts and groans]
[engines roar]
- 甩掉飞弹了？ - 没，正朝我们飞来 - Did we Iose 'em? - No, they're coming right at us.
- 为什么不按下这个？ - 不，飞船还没恢复正常 - Why don't I just press this? - No, we're not back to normal yet.
- 那会怎样？ - 我不知道 - What will happen? - I don't know.
别这样！我们到这了 接下来又不知道会到哪里去 Don't do it! We're here. No telling where it'II send us.
- 管它呢 - 不! - Sod it all. - No!
[silence]
喔，我们在哪？ Wow. Where are we?
就在原来的地方 Exactly where we were.
导弹呢？ And the missiles?
显然，他们变成了一盆牵牛花 Apparently, they've turned... into a bowl of petunias.
和一只怪异的鲸鱼 - [clunk] - And a very surprised-Iooking whale.
尽管这只有8767128分之一的概率 [computer] And an improbability factor of 8, 767, 1 28 to 1 against.
恢复，恢复正常了 We have norm... normality.
正常，那好 Normality, right. [coughs]
我们可以谈谈正常，直到 牛群自己回家（意为：无限期的一直下去……） We can talk about normality till the cows come home.
- 什么是正常？ - 什么是家？ - What is normal? - What's home?
什么是牛？ What are cows?
来杯好茶能让我正常一回 A proper cup of tea would restore my normality.
有必要提醒一下，突然间 尽管可能性极小 [Guide] It is important to note that suddenly, and against all probability,
一头抹香鲸出现在 外星行星数英里高的空中 a sperm whale had been called into existence
several miles above the surface of an alien planet.
虽然这对鲸鱼来说不太可能 Since this is not a tenable position for a whale,
但这天真的生物并没时间意识到 自己的存在 this innocent creature had very little time to come to terms with its identity.
接下来是它下落时的内心活动： This is what it thought as it fell:
啊，哇，发生了什么事啊？我是谁？ Ah, whoa, what's happening? Who am I?
我怎么在这？在这干吗啦？ 我是谁是啥意思？ Why am I here? What's my purpose? What do I mean by who am I?
好的，好的，冷静，找个扶手 Okay, Okay, calm down, get a grip now.
噢，真是蛮有趣的感觉 有点麻麻的... Ooh, this is an interesting sensation. A sort of tingling in my...
我最好开始给东西起名字。 就叫它尾巴，对，尾巴 I better start finding names for things. Let's call it a tail. Yeah, tail.
在我头旁边呼呼而过的 是什么玩意？ What's this roaring sound whooshing past what I'm gonna call my head?
风，这名字好吗？凑合 Wind. Is that a good name? That'll do.
嘿，真带劲 就知道自己要有点头晕了 Yay, this is really exciting. I'm dizzy with anticipation.
这是风吗？ 好多风啊 Or is it the wind? There's a lot of that now.
这个飞快朝我移动的东西是什么？ 那么大，平整且有些圆圆的 And what's this thing coming towards me very fast? So big and flat and round.
得起个广阔些的名字 比如：达，大，大帝，大地！ It needs a big wide-sounding name like ow, ound, round, ground!
就这么，叫大地了，能不能和我交个朋友啊？ 你好，大地 That's it, ground. I wonder if it will be friends with me. Hello, ground.
[thud]
好奇的是那盆牵牛花坠地时所想的 [Guide] The only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias
只是：“噢，不是吧，又是这样！” as it fell was, "Oh, no, not again!"
许多人认为 如果能推测出为什么牵牛花有这样的想法 Many have speculated that if we knew why the petunias had thought that,
我们对宇宙自然界的认识 会比现在深刻得多 we should know a lot more about the nature of the universe than we do now.
[wind blows]
那些是什么？ [Arthur] What are those things?
那是往另一空间的入口 [Ford] They're portals to another dimension.
那好，我猜这入口没中央暖气系统，是吗？ [Arthur] Right. I don't suppose this portal has central heating, does it?
- [Zaphod mumbles] - [Arthur sighs]
啊，就是这个了 [Zaphod] Ah, this is the one.
这会以悲剧收场 我就知道如此 [Marvin] This will all end in tears, I just know it.
就这了 - Right here. - [machine starts up]
嘿！哇！ - Hey! Whoa! - [roaring wind]
好的，我们进去 Okay, in we go!
我们不能就这么进……去！ 我们不知道另一面是哪里！ We can't just step into that... that! We don't know where it Ieads.
如果我们挑错了 If we pick the wrong one,
我们，我们就回来 选另外一个，没啥大不了的 we just... we come back, we pick another one. It's no biggie.
什么？不，麻烦大了！ 福特，是大麻烦 [Arthur] What? Yeah, it's a big biggie, Ford. A big biggie.
要是我们被切成碎片呢？ What if it rips us all into tiny Iittle atomic particle thingies?
就这个没错，我有预感 This is the right one. I have a hunch.
- 福特！ - 他的预感还不错的 - Ford! - His hunches are good.
阿瑟！我看我们去吧 Arthur, I say we go.
跟着一个脑子里都是柠檬的人 的感觉走？ Go with the hunch of a man whose brain is fuelled by Iemons?!
这是自杀 [Arthur] This is suicide!
- 我想我有点不爽了 - 我不在乎你怎么想 - I think I resent that. - [Arthur] I don't care.
我感觉你对我有些敌意了，阿莱 [Zaphod] I'm getting hostility from you, AIex...
- 是阿瑟！ - 你练过瑜珈吗？ - Arthur! - [Zaphod] Have you ever tried yoga?
- 特瑞莲！ - 我就知道会这样 [portal roars]
- Trillian! - I think that's supposed to happen.
她不见了！ 福特，她不见了！ [High-pitched] She's gone! Ford, she's gone!
阿瑟，别慌！ Arthur, don't panic!
- 福特！ - 嘿，等等我 - Ford! - [Zaphod] Hey, wait for me!
喔！ Whoo!
[Arthur whimpers]
来吧 Come on.
傻瓜！来吧来吧来吧来吧来吧 Idiot! Come on, come on, come on, come on!
啊…… Ahhh!
[silence]
[coughs and splutters]
[groans and grunts]
不不不，别扔下我 启动启动 No, no, no, don't Ieave. Come on, come on, just start!
我告诉过你这是以悲剧收场 [Marvin] I told you this would end in tears.
你说过？你说过？ [Arthur] Did you? Did you?
[Arthur breathes heavily]
喔哦！ [Zaphod from above] Geronimo!
Ooomph! [Iaughs]
够爽，够爽！哈哈 Far out! Far out! Ha-ha!
就这个，就这个 深思，我来了 This is it. This is it! Deep Thought. I'm a-coming.
那么，就这样一切都结束了？ 就这样？ [Arthur chuckles] So, this is how it's all going to end, is it?
我，一个人在这该死的星球 和一个患抑郁症的机器人？ Me, alone on a dead planet, with a manically depressed robot.
你以为只有你有麻烦吗？ [Marvin] You think you've got problems.
如果你是一个有抑郁症的机器人 你又会怎么样？ What if you are a manically depressed robot?
打扰了 [man] Excuse me.
- [Arthur] Aaaaagghhh! - [man] Whoa, whoa.
- 你是谁？ - 我？呃，我的名字无关紧要 - Who are you? - No, uh, my name is not important.
呃，你必须得跟我走一趟 Uh, you must come with me.
- 走开 - 糟糕的事情就要发生了 - Get away. - [man] Terrible events are afoot.
唔，你，你必须来，要么就晚了 Um, you... you must come or you'II be Iate.
- 晚了？什么晚了？ - 啥？ - [Arthur] Late? What for? - What?
不不，你，你， 你叫什么名字，地球人 No, no. What's... what's your name, Earthman?
- 丹特，阿瑟·丹特 - 那么... - Dent. Arthur Dent. - [man] Well...
以后被称作 "迟到的丹特，阿瑟·丹特" Iate as in "the Iate Dentarthurdent."
某种凶兆，不是吗？ It's a sort of threat, do you see? No.
- 没 - 你的朋友很安全 - No. - [man] Your friends are safe.
- 你该相信我 - 相信一个不愿告诉我名字的人？ - You can trust me. - A man who won't tell me his name?
那么好，我的名字是……呃 Okay, my name is, um...
...我的名字是... 是... 是... 斯拉迪巴特福斯 ...my name is... is... is... SIartibartfast.
我... 我... 我都说过名字不重要了 I... I... I said it wasn't important.
那么... 我的朋友都很安全？ Well... so my friends are safe?
我来告诉你 Let me show you.
我能算出你的生存几率 但你不会喜欢的 [Marvin] I could calculate your chances of survival, but you won't Iike it.
[clank]
超空间工程 造出你心目中的行星
你知道我们是造行星的吗？ Did you know we built planets?
哦，是的，迷人的职业 Oh, yes, fascinating trade.
造，呃，造海岸线 一直都是我的最爱 Doing the, um... doing the coastlines was always my favorite.
我们过去曾在建造海湾四周的精细活上 享受着无尽的乐趣 We used to have endless fun doing the Iittle fiddly bits around the fjords.
但后来银河系的经济崩溃， 并且发现客户定制的行星 But then the galactic economy collapsed, and seeing that custom-built planets
都太过于奢侈... are a... are a bit of a Iuxury commodity...
跟我来，因为你的行星有点麻烦了 Come with me because there's been a terrible mix-up with your planet.
老鼠的绝佳地盘，你知道吗 Best Iaid plans of mice, you know.
- 还有人类 - 什么？ - And men. - What?
老鼠和人类的绝佳地盘 Best Iaid plans of mice and men.
啊，不过，我想，人类 其实和这没多大关系 [Iaughs] Yes, well, I don't think men have much to do with it. Here.
[vibrations]
- [engine starting up] - [beeps]
[siren]
呃，我得先提醒你 - [explosion] - Um, I must warn you,
我们将穿过一些 呃，类似门一样的东西 we're going to pass through, well, a sort of gateway thing.
- 啊？ - 可能让你有点不舒服 - Huh? - It may disturb you.
我可是被吓得够呛 It scares the willies out of me.
Aghh! Aghh!
哈哈哈 欢迎来到我们的厂房 [SIartibartfast] Ha, ha, ha. Welcome to our factory floor.
[grunts and groans]
好 [Trillian] Okay.
好了，好了 [Zaphod] AII right. AII right.
啊，就这了 Yeah, this is it.
就这了 This is it.
哦，伟大的深思！ O great Deep Thought!
我们历经长途…… We have traveled Iong...
...还有跋涉 ...and far.
你解出关于生命 Have you calculated the ultimate question of Iife,
宇宙和世间万物的终极答案了吗？ the universe and everything?
没呢 [Deep Thought yawns] No.
- 啥？ - 我一直在电视 - [Zaphod] What? - I've been watching TV.
哦 Oh.
我另造了台计算机 去处理了 I designed another computer to do that.
哦，对了，差点忘了，就在这吗？ Oh, right, I forgot. Is it here?
不是，不在这里。是另一个世界 No, it's not here. It's another world.
在另一个世界？ It's on another world.
那个计算机就是是另一个世界 你这个白痴！ It is another world, stupid.
或者曾经是 Or it was until the Vogons destroyed it
直到沃刚人为了建造超空间高速公路 而摧毁了它 to make way for a hyperspace expressway.
呃，那好 Well... Okay.
你确定你没什么 You sure you don't have the question,
其他办法或者通道什么的去那里吗？ or a way to, you know, access it or something?
因为我费了好大的劲才来到这里 'Cause I think I've done a Iot to get here.
哦，嘘，嘘。节目又开始了 Oh, shh, shh. The show's back on.
[hiccup]
那么，我不打扰你了 我要... 节目不错 Well, I don't wanna bother you, so I'm gonna... Good stuff.
很好。我走了，另找些我接下来 该做的事情去做 Great. I'm gonna go and find something else for my entire Iife to be about.
查福德，查福德 还有只... 枪 [Ford] Zaphod, Zaphod, there's the... the gun.
- 枪？ - 哈玛派你来拿的枪 - Gun? - That Humma sent you for.
- 你把头给他了 - 为什么…为什么我会把头给他？ - You gave him your head. - Why'd I... Why'd I do that?
- 好吧 - 那样真蠢 - Okay. - That's stupid.
噢，深思 有人告诉我们这有只枪 O Deep Thought, we were told that there is a gun.
[crashing and rumbling]
[cart squeals]
- 那就是 - 嗯？ - There you are. - Hm?
眼熟吗？ Look familiar?
那么它没被摧毁？ [Arthur] So it wasn't destroyed?
事实上，被毁了。 这是备份，地球2号 Actually, it was. This is a backup. Earth Mark II.
那么，你……你创造了地球？ So you... you made the Earth?
不是我一人， 但我，我做了我份内的事情 [chuckles] Not me alone, but I... I did my part.
有没有听说一个地方 记得一个叫作挪威的地方吗？ Ever heard of a place, I think it's called Norway?
那是我造的 因为它，我……我还得了奖 That was one of mine. I... I got an award for it.
[Arthur shrieks]
[Arthur's shrieks grow Iouder]
哦，喔！ [Arthur] Oh, hoo!
你好啊，弗兰克？ 这位... 这位是弗兰克 [SIartibartfast] AII right, Frank? That's... that's Frank.
啊，哈，他们... 他们差不多完成了海洋 Ah-ha. They... they've nearly finished the oceans.
查福德 [Ford] Zaphod.
这里，正如... Here, it's...
...正如哈玛说得那样 ...it's just Iike Humma said.
- 这下你可以把头拿回来了 - 嘿，福特 - Now you can go get your head back. - Hey, Ford.
认识你可真好，好兄弟 It's been nice knowing you, you zarking frood.
不！ - No! - [gun blast]
- 嚯嚯 - 有点破坏性啊 - Whoa! - This is a bust too.
嘿...嘿，兄弟，我知道 你肯定有点不爽 H... H... Hey, man. You know, you must really be frustrated.
你捱了那么多 到头来还是一无所获 You go through all you have, you don't get an answer,
还是没得到你应得的 财富啊，名声啊... which means no money or fame, which you deserve...
“立场转换枪”，很简单 [Guide] The Point-of-View Gun, conveniently,
枪如其名 does precisely what its name suggests.
太好了，太好了 Fantastic. Fantastic. Fantastic.
如果你瞄准某人 并扣动扳机 [Guide] If you point it at someone and pull the trigger,
顷刻间他们便会站在你的立场看问题 they instantly see things from your point of view.
让我来 Give me that thing.
由深思设计 It was designed by Deep Thought,
受银河系的愤怒家庭主妇们的委托 but commissioned by a consortium of intergalactic angry housewives
她们厌倦了每回和丈夫争吵 who, after arguments with their husbands,
都是以类似这样的话收场…… were sick of ending those arguments with the phrase,
"你死活就是不明白，不是吗？" "You just don't get it, do you?"
啊，啊，你是对的 我不该这么心烦 [blast]
Uh, uh, and you're right, I shouldn't be so upset
因为生活还要继续，是吧 because Iife goes on, you know,
并且我也是那么过日子 and I should just go on with it.
再崩他一次 Shoot him again.
哇喔 - [Zaphod] Whoa. - [blast]
漫游不错。毛巾也不错 Hitchhiking's good. Towels are good too.
- 我说啥？ - 这个强 - [Zaphod] Say what? - That is brilliant.
到底怎...？ [Zaphod] What's goin'...?
我看出来为什么哈玛·科洛拉要这玩意了 I can see why Humma Kavula would want one of these.
- 我们最好快回去。阿瑟还在等我们 - 谁在乎？ - We better get back. Arthur's waiting. - Who cares?
我！尤其是我们这样的 拜你所赐的濒危物种 I do. Especially since we're somewhat of an endangered species, thanks to you.
别这样嘛，我的洋娃娃。放松些 [Zaphod] Why so edgy, baby doll? Relax.
你知道我为什么不爽？ - You wanna know why I'm edgy? - [gun]
你当然不爽了 你老家都被爆了 Argh. Of course you're edgy. Your planet's been blown up
而且你正和那个下达命令的人 耗在一起 and you've been tooling around with the guy who signed the order.
嗯？ Huh?
啊！你其实想知道答案 Ugh! You actually wanted to know the question
因为你一直都困惑人生是否 有着更深的意义 because you always wondered if there was more to Iife
但是现在你很沮丧 因为你发现其实人生不过尔尔 and now you're crushed because you find out there really isn't.
嘿，飘飘然，迷糊糊的 Hey, fantastic. [Iaughs] Psychedelic.
[fires again]
你无家可归，失去亲人 而且和我缠在一起 You've got no home, no family, and you're stuck with me,
我也是得不到你垂青的众多男人之一 another in a Iong Iine of men who doesn't really get you.
啊？这不对 Huh? That's not true.
[fires twice more]
而且有个男人你是中意的 但是你有点担心你可能会搞砸了 And you're worried you might have blown it with the one guy who really does.
嘿，喔 Hey, whoops.
哦，洋娃娃 Oh, baby doll.
把那个给我 Give me that thing.
对我没用，我本来就是女人 [sighs] It won't affect me. I'm already a woman.
[boom]
[rumble of grating stone]
没什么 只是几只小老鼠 It's okay. It's only a couple of Iittle mice!
[huge rumbling]
喜马拉雅山脉，不赖哦？ [SIartibartfast] Voilà! Himalayas. Good, eh?
地球人，你必须得明白 Earthman, you must realize
你的星球是受老鼠的委托而建造的 它们付的钱，而且由它们统治 that the planet you Iived on was commissioned, paid for and run by mice.
你指的老鼠，就是那 小小毛茸茸的白色小东东？ When you say mice, do you mean the Iittle furry white creatures
胡须，耳朵，奶酪什么的？ with whiskers, ears, cheese?
没错，但是他们已经进化到了 象我们一样的高等智慧群体了 Yeah, but they're protrusions into our dimension of hyperintelligent beings.
我不了解这些 你所说得奶酪什么的 I don't know this cheese of which you speak,
但他们在地球上对你们象 对老鼠那样做试验呢 but they were there on Earth as mice experimenting on you.
看出来你有点颠三倒四了 我们是在拿他们作实验的 I see where you've become confused now. You see, we were experimenting on them.
啊，不，呃，对，也不 我想那是它们造出的假相 Ah, no, well, yeah, no. That's what they wanted you to think,
但实际上你只是他们 电脑实验中的一个元素 but you were actually elements in their computer program.
好像有那么点意思 [Arthur] Actually, this explains a Iot.
我总觉着我这辈子 有些奇怪的感觉 AII my Iife, I've had this strange feeling
世界上总有一种 庞大阴森的力量笼罩着 there's something big and sinister going on in the world.
不，你那叫妄想症 宇宙人都有点这样的 No, that's normal paranoia. Everyone in the universe gets that.
[boom]
或者我有点老了，累了 但是找出人生目标什么的似乎 Perhaps I'm old and tired, but the chances of finding out
还是那么的遥不可及 what's actually going on are so absurdly remote
倒不如把那搁置一边 让自己充实一些 that the only thing to do is say hang the sense of it and keep yourself busy.
每天我更情愿快乐，而不是清醒 I'd much rather be happy than right any day.
- 那么你快乐吗？ - 呃... 不 - And are you? - Uh... no.
当然，事情最后终归如此 [Iaughs] That's where it all falls down, of course.
你瞧，到了 Here you are then.
这是...？ Is this...?
差... 差不多就这样了 It's, um... It's all there.
差不多搞定了 You know, it all works.
欢迎回家 Welcome home.
[all cheer]
- 嘿！ - 嘿，哥们！ - Hey! - Hey, man!
- 你来啦 - 好啊 - There you are! - Surprise!
你们干吗呢？ 你们怎么了？ What are you doing? What happened to you?
这是茶吗？ Is that tea?
- 起先，主人攻击我们 - 嗯 - First, our hosts attacked us. - Right.
接着他们用这么棒的茶…… But then they made up for it by making us...
...来补偿我们 [tearfully]...this amazing meal.
现在... 现在都好了 一切都好了 It's so... Everything's right. Everything's delicious.
哦，真是太棒了 Oh, come on, that's Iovely.
很高兴你喜欢，地球人 We're glad you Iike it, Earth creature.
呃，会讲话……会讲话的老鼠。强！ [chuckles nervously] The, um, talking... talking mice. Cool.
- 坐下，地球人 - 哦，谢谢，谢谢款待 - Sit, Earthman. - Oh, thank you. Thank you for that.
- 请，喝茶 - 呃，呃，打扰下 - PIease, drink. - Um, uh, excuse me.
- 呃，还有别的事情了？ - 没了，我们很满意，谢谢 - Uh, is there anything else? - No, we're quite happy, thank you.
那好，我在外面等，那么…… Um, good, I'II be outside, so...
你说对了 You were right.
- 请，喝茶 - 好 - [Mouse] PIease, drink. - Yes.
他说得对 He was right.
现在，来谈正事 Now, to business.
谈正事 [both] To business!
吃！ [firmly] Eat!
- 嘘 - 抱歉 - Shh. - Sorry.
我们已经在你们的星球上花了很长时间 [Mouse] We've spent a Iot of time on your planet
来寻找终极问题的答案 Iooking for this ultimate question.
我们先易容换脸，正如此 Only to have it blow up in our faces. Literally.
为什么你到这里？ 有人给我们丰厚的待遇 Which is why you're here. We've been offered a Iucrative contract
去做几个五维的电视访谈节目 to do several 5-D TV chat shows.
但有个问题 我们必须得有产品 But here's the point. We must have product.
我们需要终极问题的答案 或至少听上去像那么回事 We need the ultimate question, or one that sounds ultimate.
- 当然 - 我们重新建造了这个星球 - Of course. - We've rebuilt the planet.
现在我们需要的就是 尚缺的一块拼图 Now all we need is the missing piece of the puzzle.
- 恰好就是你的脑子 - 没错 - Which happens to be your brain. - Right.
再来些茶？ [Mouse] More tea?
等等，你刚才是说 你需要我的脑子？ Sorry, did you just say you need my brain?
是的，用来完成进度 Yes, to complete the program.
你不能拿走我的脑子，我正用着呢 You can't have my brain. I'm using it.
- 拿定了 - 拿定了？无耻... 无耻的老鼠 - Hardly. - Hardly? Cheeky... Cheeky mouse.
查福德！特瑞莲！ Zaphod! Trillian!
福特 - [whirring] - Ford.
食物里放了什么？ What was in that food?
茶里放了什么？ What was in my tea?
别害怕，不疼的 Don't worry. You won't feel a thing.
[grunts and whimpers]
等一会 Just wait a sodding minute.
你的问题的答案 呃，就是42 You want a question that goes with the answer 42?
那么，6乘7怎么样？ What about, what's 6x7?
或者，呃，呃，换一个灯泡 需要多少沃刚人？ Or, um, uh, how many Vogons does it take to change a Iight bulb?
想起来了：人的一生要经历多少磨难？ Here's one: how many roads must a man walk down?
嘿，这个不赖 Hey, that's not bad.
好，好，拿去吧。因为我的脑子里都是疑问 Fine. Fine, take it, 'cause my head is filled with questions,
都是些解决不了的疑问 and no answer to any one of them
且从未带给我丝毫的快乐 has ever brought me one iota of happiness.
只有一个例外 Except for one.
就是那，那唯一一个我需要答案的问题 The one. The only question I've ever wanted an answer to.
她爱我吗？ Is she the one?
我要的答案不是什么42 而是爱！ The answer bloody well isn't 42, it's yes.
不怀疑的，不含糊的 不羞涩的，爱！ Undoubtedly, unequivocally, unabashedly, yes.
就一周的时间 And for one week,
就我可怜...短暂...渺小...生命中 那一周的时间里 one week in my sad Iittle... blip of an existence...
...我是快乐的 ...it made me happy.
答的不错 That's a good answer.
垃圾，我们不要什么快乐 我们要成名 [mouse] We don't want to be happy. We want to be famous.
- 什么“爱你爱我”之类的垃圾 - 拿他的脑子！ - What's this "Is she the one" tripe? - Take his brain!
别，别拿我的脑子！ 别拿我的脑子，耗子 No, don't take the brain! Don't take the brain, mice!
[grunts]
[screams]
不是我 - [screams] - It wasn't me!
我成名了 - [gibbers] - [Zaphod] I'm famous.
打他，快，打他 Shoot him, quickly, shoot him!
噢，歇菜了 Oh, bollocks!
Agghh!
我要生病了 I'm gonna be sick.
老天 [coughs] Belgium.
[voices, vibrations]
跟我来 Follow me.
左右左右 [Vogons] Left, right, Ieft, right.
立正！ Attention!
是你们丢下我的 [Marvin] Thanks a Iot for Ieaving me behind.
显然不是我的错 Though I can't say I blame you.
总统先生 我们是来保护你的 Mr President, we're here for your protection.
谢啦，我很感谢 Thanks, man. I appreciate it.
开火！ Fire!
不！不！ No! No!
有什么大惊小怪的？ [Marvin] What's all the fuss about?
沃刚人是全银河系枪法最烂的，噢 Vogons are the worst marksmen in the galaxy. Ooh.
- 看在上帝的份上，住手！ - 停止射击 - For God's sake, stop! - Cease fire.
我有点头疼…… 头疼……头疼…… Now I've got a headache... headache... headache...
马文！ Marvin!
哦，不 [Zaphod] Oh, no.
他拿着毛巾，快逃快逃 - [Ford's battle shriek] - He's got a towel, run away!
我要带大家离开 你们如何驾驶这玩意？ I'm gonna get us outta here. How do you drive this thing?
我们需要那只枪 We need that gun.
来吧，把飞船开起来 来吧，启动 Come on. Get this ship started. Come on. Start!
来吧，哦，起火了起火了 Come on. Oh, fire, fire!
开火，开火！ Fire, fire!
[Arthur] Oo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo!
这边他锁上了 [Vogon] He's Iocked it from the other side.
我们得绕道走 We'II have to go the other way.
来吧，我们离开这 Come on, Iet's go!
[shouts]
住手！ Stop!
哦，不！ [Arthur] Oh, no!
停下，停下 别再打了 [Zaphod] Stop it! Stop it! Stop shooting at us!
[shooting stops]
哦，我觉得很郁闷 Oh, I feel so depressed.
我活不下去了 [Vogons groan]
I can't face another day.
有什么意义？ What's the point?
- 你没事吧？ - 我没事 - You all right? - Yeah.
可惜了，你的飞船，阿瑟 Sorry about your spaceship, Arthur.
[Vogons groan]
马文，你救了我们 Marvin, you saved our Iives.
我知道，很不幸，不是么？ I know. Wretched, isn't it?
[moans]
你得问问你自己， 有什么意义？ You got to ask yourself, what's the point?
开走 [workman] Take it away.
你尽管去做，但是别…… 那好，我去……我去问问他 You could do all of that, but it's not gonna...Well, I'II ask... I'II just ask.
有，有人刚刚通知我 I... I... I've just been informed by some of the Iads
既然我们差不多接近完工了 that since we're so near completion,
所以我们继续造好地球 we're gonna go ahead and finish Earth.
噢 Oh.
但，但是，你知道的，我们是可以把它复原 到你离开时一摸一样的 We, well, we can put it back exactly as it was when you Ieft, you know.
除非，呃 Unless there's, um...
...你知道的，有什么是你想要的变化？ ...there's, you know, anything you want to change.
一些你不希望你的星球上还存在的东东？ Something you think your planet could do without.
有啊，我本人 Yeah. Me.
哦！呃，你没事吧？ Oh! Um, hello?
不，那个别动 对，这个留下 No, as is. Yep, Ieave it. Yep.
找个地方玩玩？ Let's go somewhere.
好呀，你想到去哪了？ Definitely. Where did you have in mind?
我知道宇宙的尽头有个很棒的餐馆 I know this great restaurant at the end of the universe.
我是有点饿了 I am a Iittle peckish.
我得去找哈玛 他拿了我什么东西 I need to go to Humma's. He's got something of mine.
- 我想想，毫无头绪 - 别担心，宝贝，我们会解决的 - I think. I'm so confused. - Don't worry, baby. We'II sort it out.
好的，我们来次光速的奇妙旅行，宝贝 就你和我 AII right, Iet's trip the Iight fantastic, baby. Just you and me.
来吧 Come on.
- 你带上毛巾了？ - 带了。怎么？我需要毛巾吗？ - You got your towel? - Yeah. Why? Am I going to need it?
- 时时刻刻 - 对，好呀 - Only always. - Right. Yeah.
没有我的神奇毛巾，我哪里都不会去 I wouldn't want to go anywhere without my wonderful towel.
好了，抓紧了 Okay. Hold tight.
生命周期准备，倒计时， 3，2，1... [speaker] Stand by for commencement of life cycle. In three, two, one...
好啦！喔！ [Zaphod] All right! Whoo!
从没人听我的话 [Marvin] Not that anyone cares what I say,
但是餐馆在宇宙的 另 一头 but the restaurant is at the other end of the universe.
[screech of brakes]
[accelerating engines]
『还有精彩内容，不妨看到最后』 [boom]
∮ 再见，谢谢款待 ∮ So long and thanks for all the fish
∮ 抱歉是这样的结局 ∮ So sad that it should come to this
∮ 我们试图警告你们，但是... ∮ We tried to warn you all but, oh, dear
∮ 你们未理会我们的智慧 ∮ You may not share our intellect
∮ 正表示了你们对... ∮ Which might explain your disrespect
∮ 周围自然奇异的漠视 ∮ For all the natural wonders that grow around you
∮ 再见，谢谢款待 ∮ So long, so long and thanks... for all the fish
∮ 世界就要毁灭 ∮ The world's about to be destroyed
∮ 但你不必烦恼 ∮ There's no point getting all annoyed
∮ 就靠在椅子上坐等世界毁灭 ∮ Lie back and let the planet dissolve
∮ 别理会那星际舰队 ∮ Despite those nets of tuna fleets
∮ 我们知道你们大多友善 ∮ We thought that most of you were sweet
∮ 尤其是孩子和孕妇 ∮ Especially tiny tots and your pregnant women
∮ 再见，再见，再见，再见，再见，再见 ∮ So long, so long, so long, so long, so long
∮ 再见，谢谢款待 ∮ So long, so long and thanks... for all the fish
啊！ Y eah!
再来！ PIay it!
∮ 再见，谢谢款待 ∮ So long and thanks for all the fish
∮ 抱歉是这样的结局 ∮ So sad that it should come to this
∮ 我们试图警告你们，但是... ∮ We tried to warn you all but, oh, dear
∮ 哦，亲爱的 ∮ Oh, dear
∮ 别理会那星际舰队 ∮ Despite those nets of tuna fleets
∮ 我们知道你们大多友善 ∮ We thought that most of you were sweet
∮ 尤其是孩子和孕妇 ∮ Especially tiny tots and your pregnant women
∮ 再见，再见，再见，再见，再见，再见 ∮ So long, so long, so long, so long, so long
∮ 再见，谢谢款待 ∮ So long, so long and thanks for all the fish
∮ 谢谢款待 ∮ ∮ For all the fish ∮
当然，大家都清楚， 无心话语也会要人命 [Guide] It is, of course, well known that careless talk costs lives.
但是整个问题一直都没有 受到足够的重视 But the full scale of the problem is not always appreciated.
比如，就在阿瑟·丹特说 For instance, at the very moment that Arthur Dent said,
“没有我的神奇毛巾，我哪里都不会去” 的那一刻 "I wouldn't want to go anywhere without my wonderful towel"
一个奇异的空间虫洞 打开了时空闭联集的结构 a freak wormhole opened up in the fabric of the space-time continuum
并带着他的话光速的 and carried his words far, far back in time,
穿越无尽的太空到达遥远的星系 across almost infinite reaches of space, to a distant galaxy
在那里奇异好战的生物正处于可怕的 where strange and warlike beings were poised on the brink
星际战争的边缘 of frightful interstellar battle.
两派的领袖，身着华丽的黑宝石军服 The two opposing leaders, resplendent in their black-jeweled battle shorts
进行最后一次会谈 were meeting for the last time,
正陷入可怕的死寂 when a dreadful silence fell.
并且恰恰就在那一刻 And at that very moment,
“没有我的神奇毛巾，我哪里都不会去”那话 the words "I wouldn 't want to go anywhere without my wonderful towel"
在谈判桌上飘啊飘 drifted across the conference table.
不幸的是，在他们的语言里 Unfortunately, in their native tongue,
这可是最不堪入耳的污辱性话语 this was the most appalling insult imaginable.
所以对峙双方的舰队 So the opposing battle fleets
决定搁置目前存在的分歧 decided to settle their remaining differences,
断然以那不愉快的话为借口 in order to launch a joint attack on our galaxy,
发动对我们星系的联合进攻 now positively identified as the source of the offending remark.
数千年后， 强大的舰队穿越 For thousands of years, the mighty starships tore across
空尽的宇宙并最终抵达地球 the empty wastes of space and finally dived screaming onto the planet Earth,
然而由于可怕的计量误差 where, due to a terrible miscalculation of scale,
整个舰队被一只小狗意外的吞下去了 the entire battle fleet was accidentally swallowed by a small dog.
那些研究宇宙历史中 Those who study the complex interplay of cause and effect
复杂的因果互动关系的人们 in the history of the universe,
说，这样的事情一直都在发生着 say that this sort of thing is going on all the time.