《如果还有明天》前情提要 Previously on the big c...
我想再要个孩子 I want another baby.
有个人刚给我留言 Well, this guy just wrote me.
他的妻子怀孕了 And his wife's pregnant.
他们想和我们见面 They want to meet us!
你们跟亚当谈得怎么样 How'd your talk with Adam go?
他会成为这个孩子的好大哥 He is gonna be a terrific big brother to this baby.
我打算去巡演 I'm about to go on tour.
你可以和我一起成为那个"打开开关"的家伙 You could join me as the "Flip that switch" guy.
我当然要去 Oh, my god, yes!
打开开关 Flip that switch!
打开开关 打开开关 Flip that switch! Flip that switch!
明天你还来吗 艾利克西斯 Are we gonna see you tomorrow, Alexis?
差不多吧 Most likely.
我在做同性电话性爱这一行 I'm running a gay phone sex business.
你现在变弯了 Are you gay now?
没有 只是逢场作戏 No, I'm just talking the talk.
我给肖恩舅舅打了电话 I just called uncle Sean.
我想在他那儿呆几天 I'm gonna be, uh, staying over there for a few days.
为什么 Why?
他在我家主持教会活动呢 He's hosting his church group chez my place.
你好 贾米森女士 Hey, Ms. Jamison.
我叫杰茜 我是他女朋友 I'm Jesse. I'm his girlfriend.
我要保留处子之身 但是 I'm saving myself, but...
我的后门为你敞开 You can go in the other way.
季第六集
还有明天
第三
如果
还有明天
如果
人人影视倾情奉献
翻译 凌魂
翻译 Shadow
翻译 复古苹果脸
翻译 pity陈小洁
板栗
翻译
跳跳糖
翻译
子衿
时间轴
直面人生萨拉丁
校对
安然若水
校对
特效/后期 飞飞/孤帆
安然若水
总监
天哪 Oh, Jesus.
-该死 -安德莉亚 - Damn it. - Andrea...
每天早上你就这么叫贾先生起床吗 Is that how you wake up Mr. J every morning?
他在哪 Well, where is he?
他在洗澡 He's in the shower.
我得早点叫他起床 I had to wake him up early
去德卢斯演讲[明尼苏达州东北部城市] for his talk in Duluth and...
我只是等他的时候睡着了 I just fell asleep waiting for him to get--
糟糕 Oh, crap!
都这时候了 Is that the time?!
贾先生 我们要迟到了 Mr. J! We're gonna be late.
再磨叽我就没时间在酒店泡浴了 This is really cutting into my hotel Jacuzzi time.
我得再洗个澡 I gotta jump back in the shower.
我用了加强型发胶 I used this extra-strength hair gel,
现在我感觉脖子上顶着个焦糖苹果 and my head feels like a fucking candy apple.
早啊 亲爱的 Hi, honey.
是亚当回来了吗 Is that Adam?
亚当 Adam?
哇塞 是不是因为你儿子暂时归我养 Wow! I don't know if it's the fact that I'm raising your son now,
你就容光焕发了 but you look great.
你还有番茄酱吗 Do you have any tomato sauce?
有 在烤箱上面 我把话说清楚 Yeah, above the oven. Just so we're clear...
亚当就是在你那儿呆了一周 Adam spending the past week with you
不代表你就有能力抚养他 does not qualify as you raising him.
-他怎么样 -饥肠辘辘 - How is he? - Hungry.
这孩子跟几年没吃饱饭似的 The kid eats like a starving peasant.
我感觉我全部时间都花在了 You know, I feel like I spend all my time
在你冰箱里挑选食物 grocery shopping in your fridge
还有维持色情热线 or giving head on the phone.
什么时候我能有点自己的时间 I mean, where is the "me" in all this?
但愿你没当着亚当的面打电话 I hope you're not taking calls in front of Adam.
我已经尽力支持你的 I mean, I am trying to be supportive
色情热线业务了 of your porn phone business.
别担心 凯西 Yeah, don't worry, Cath.
我所有的业务都在外面完成 I take all the fist fuck talk out back.
你得把亚当送回来 Okay, you need to send Adam home.
没关系 It's fine.
分开几天说不定对你俩有好处 Probably good for you two to have a little separation.
他现在对你可是有点恨意的 He kind of hates you right now.
要让我继续和你聊天 I'm gonna need some caffeine
必须得先摄入点咖啡因 to continue this conversation.
就算我 都不得不承认 You know, even I have to admit,
亚当真是让人头疼 that kid is a handful.
真不知道你怎么撑过十五年的 I don't know how you did it for 15 years.
酒精和夏令营能让我好过些 Liquor and summer camp helped take the edge off.
再养个孩子是让我贪杯的绝佳借口 Getting a new baby's gonna be a great excuse to double my drinking.
说到你领养孩子的心血来潮 Speaking of new baby insanity,
那是给你的 that's for you.
那是我和丽贝卡为小凯西准备的婴儿床 It's the crib Rebecca and I got for baby Cathy.
祝你能顺利地把那破玩意组装好 Good luck putting that fucker back together.
-你好 -你好 伙计 - Oh. Hi, there. - Hey, what's up, man?
你是凯西孩子的爸爸 So, uh, you're Cathy's baby daddy.
我得赶紧走了 Yeah, I gotta run.
我得给外甥送饭 I gotta feed my nephew
不然他就把自己嘴唇嚼了当早餐了 before he chews his own lips off for breakfast.
该死 Ohh, shit.
我就知道 我穿的太正式了 I knew it. I'm overdressed.
抱歉我穿着睡衣就出来了 I am sorry about the pajamas.
别担心 Don't worry about it.
在公交上有那么两三个人也这么穿 There were, like, three guys on the bus dressed the same way.
这是给你的 Here, this is for you.
这是玛克辛产前检查的资料 It's, uh, Maxine's prenatal tests and stuff,
每项数值都良好 which she totally aced.
别问我们的高考成绩就行 Just don't ask us for our S.A.T. scores.
谢谢 Thanks.
进来吧 我在煮咖啡 Come on in. I'm making coffee.
好极了 Great.
亚当经常和他舅舅在一起 是吗 So, uh, Adam spends a lot of time with his uncle, huh?
也不是一直都在啦 Yeah, well, you know, not all the time.
来回换着待而已 但是 Just a few days here and there, but...
也就那么几天 it's been a few days.
亚当让我想起了自己像他这么大的时候 Adam kind of reminds me of me when I was his age.
我真的很想独立 I really wanted my independence,
但我选择的方式是离家出走 but for me, that meant running away
然后跟着"费西合唱团"到处跑 and following around the band Phish.
一个月后 我的手鼓上都一股大麻味儿 After about a month, even my tambourine smelled like pot.
看看谁来了 你好啊 Look who's here. How you doing?
保罗 你好 伙计 Paul, what's up, man?
你有时间喝杯咖啡吗 You have time for a cup of coffee?
当然有 Absolutely.
你没有 Wrong.
我上网搜了路况 差极了 I googled the traffic, and it sucks.
我们现在就得走 We gotta go now.
我有"早发型路怒症" I'm having "early-onset road rage".
该死 Damn.
祝我好运吧 Wish me luck.
好运你可不缺 但还是祝你好运吧 You don't need it, but good luck.
明天中午回来 Be back at noon tomorrow.
阿霸波相当守时 我对她只能言听计从 Ababuo is extremely punctual, and I'm very much her bitch.
那就到时候见吧 So I'll see you then.
回见 戴夫 Later, Dave.
回见 Later.
那堆是什么 What's all that?
婴儿床 Oh, it's a crib.
看起来蛮舒适的 Huh. Looks comfy.
你是建筑商 能搞定它不 You're a contractor. Can you fix it?
亚当 Adam!
吃早饭了 Breakfast!
你要吃"蜂蜜糖尿饼"还是"糖衣肥胖片" You want honey-toasted diabetes or frosted obesity flakes?
亚当 Adam?
赶紧把他妈门关上 Close the fucking door!
操他妈了个血逼 Jesus Christ on a stick.
最近建筑生意如何 So how was the contractor business?
虽说有点冷清 但还说得过去 Ah, it was frozen. But it's cool.
几个月后活会比较多 People start hiring contractors in a couple months.
每到春天就会有不少房子需要修缮 There's always a flurry of home renovations come spring.
装好这婴儿床 我一定付你工钱 Well, I'm definitely paying you for helping with the crib.
不 凯西 这钱还是捐给绿色和平组织吧 No, Cathy, save your money for Greenpeace.
我不需要你的施舍 I'm not a charity case.
绿色和平组织又不会来帮我装婴儿床 Well, Greenpeace isn't gonna help me put the crib together.
再说你和玛克辛也不宽裕 And I'm sure things are tight for you and Maxine.
好吧 付就付吧 Okay...You can pay me.
弄得我像是在抢绿色和平的生意 Now I feel like I stole from Greenpeace.
知道吗 其实呢 You know, obviously,
这屋改成婴儿房后 none of this is gonna be here
这些家具都要挪走的 when we turn this into the nursery.
安德莉亚也得搬到地下室去住 We're making a bedroom for Andrea in the basement.
她一开始还不乐意呢 She was upset about it
直到她发现搬到地下室就会有独立卫生间 till she found out she's gonna have her own bathroom.
我一直纳闷这里为什么没弄个窗户 You know, I don't know why they didn't put a window in this wall.
南边向阳 开扇窗子该多好 It's so nice to have some southern exposure.
我看不如找张大窗户的照片 I guess I'll just -- I'll just hang a picture
挂在这里对付一下得了 of a big window and call it a day.
等等 你当我不存在是不 Wait, you -- I mean, you're fucking with me, right?
我可是个建筑商 I'm a -- I'm a contractor.
我可以给你开扇朝南向阳的窗户 I can give you southern exposure.
让房间照个通透 With all the sunlight in here,
把那小家伙晒成古铜色 that little baby's gonna have an amazing tan.
你这是噎到了吗 Are you choking?
要我对着你的脖子来一拳吗 Do you need me to punch you in the neck?
这是乔伊教我的声带预热法 Joy taught me some vocal warm-ups
可以防止气不顺压嗓子 so that I wouldn't stress my voice.
你这动静我耳朵已经气不顺了 Well, it's stressing my ears.
你的茶 Here's your tea.
-保罗 -谢谢 - Paul? - Thank you.
来认识下我的一位好友 I would like you to meet a dear friend of mine.
丽塔·施特劳斯 Rita Strauss.
这名字怎么这么熟 How do I know that name?
她是电影制片人 She's a film producer.
天哪 我记起你是谁了 Oh, my god. I know who you are.
我的上帝 Holy crap.
-你的电影都特牛叉 -谢谢 - Your movies are awesome! - Thank you.
我今天本来在德卢斯的郊外拍戏 I'm shooting another one on location outside of Duluth as we speak,
但一听说你在城里 but when I heard you were in town,
我立马前来要见你一面 I had to come and shake your hand.
我是你的铁杆粉丝 能见到你很兴奋 I'm a huge fan, I just -- it's terrific meeting you.
对啊 能见到你我也很兴奋 Yes, it is terrific for me to meet you.
这位是保罗的助理 阿霸波 And this is his assistant, Ababuo.
-阿霸波 -在奥斯卡上见过你 - Ababuo. - Saw you on the Oscars.
那个在你致辞说到一半 Whoever started playing that music
就上音乐催时间的人真该千刀万剐 to cut your speech off should be bitch slapped.
但好歹你得奖了 but at least you won.
那可不是 Damn straight.
我经过哈维时他那表情你注意到没 And did you see Harvey's face when I walked past him?
大概是哈维·温斯坦 美国知名电影制片人
弄得像我在他饭桌上拉了泡屎似的 It was like I shit in his dinner.
保罗 我得告诉你 Oh, but let me tell you, Paul,
自从杰瑞告诉我你的博客 I have been addicted to your blog
我就看上了瘾 难以自拔 ever since Jeri turned me on to it.
谢谢 杰瑞是谁 Thank you. Who's Jeri?
我和丽塔是老相识了 Oh! I have known Rita
开始新生活以后我改了名字 since before I changed my name and my life.
保罗 你的故事让人惊叹 Paul, your story is amazing
很纠结但又充满趣味 and -- and complicated and funny.
一个普通人用真诚和幽默 An everyman confronting his wife's cancer
直面妻子的癌症和生命的嘲弄 and life's indignities with so much heart and humor.
每当我坐在那里阅读你的博客 I -- every time I sit down and read your blog,
都不确定下一秒是开怀大笑还是泪盈于睫 I never know if I'm gonna be laughing or crying.
你今晚应该留下来听我演讲 You should stay for the talk tonight.
我们可以安排丽塔坐贵宾席 We can get Rita some vip seats--
不用 不用 Oh, no, no, no, no.
我要回片场了 否则马蒂会疯掉 I gotta get back to the set before Marty has a breakdown,
但我和乔伊约好明天一起吃饭 but Joy and I have dinner reservations tomorrow,
你也一起来吧 and you're coming with us.
真的吗 太好了 I am? That sounds amazing.
我先问问我夫人的意见 I'll check with my wife.
别 你可别拒绝我 保罗 No, you're not gonna turn me down, Paul.
没人敢拒绝我 Nobody turns me down.
哈莉·贝瑞有次企图拒绝我 Halle Berry tried to turn me down once.
美国女演员 第74届奥斯卡最佳女主角奖得主
知道我当时怎么说的吗 我说 You know what I told her? I said,
"去你妈的 哈莉 这顿饭你是吃定了" "Fuck you, Halle! You're having dinner with me."
于是她满足地吃下了烤鲑鱼 She had grilled salmon and loved it.
确有其事 True story.
你喜欢雪利酒吗 保罗 Do you like Sherry, paul?
我对雪利酒还好 I'm not really a sherry guy.
我们明晚要饱餐一顿 畅饮雪利酒 We're gonna have dinner and drink a shitload of sherry.
你还要跟我聊聊 你的生活和濒死 And you're gonna tell me more about your life, your death,
还有濒死之后的人生轨迹 your life after your death.
我着迷了 I'm hooked!
这顿我请客 你必须来 And I'm paying! You're coming.
带上你夫人 Bring the Missus.
这个嘛... Well, I...
-不胜荣幸 -我喜欢她 - We love that! - I like her.
把她也带上 晚餐见 Bring her too. I'll see you at dinner.
-你这不可理喻的蠢蛋 -没啥大不了 - You inscrutable little boob! - It's no big deal.
你忘了妓女和阴虱的事了吗 Do I have to remind you about the hooker and the crabs
还有 还有你上次放"兽"出笼 and the--the shit storm you started last time
搞出多大个烂摊子 you unleashed your pecker on the world?
等等 肖恩 不是你想的那样 Hold it, Sean. It's not like that.
我真心喜欢那女孩 I really like this girl.
是...我们是想慢慢来 It's--we're just taking it slow.
亲亲才算慢慢来 Slow is kissing.
或者用我客户道格的方法 Or, if you're my client Doug,
轻扯蛋蛋拂过伴侣的脸庞 lightly dragging your scrotum across your partner's face.
你刚那一出才不叫慢慢来 Not what you were just doing.
拜托你告诉我 你至少采取保护措施了 Please tell me that you were at least using protection.
保护什么 我们那又不算性交 What for? We're not even having sex.
杰茜想保持处女之身 Jesse is saving herself.
所以我们只是在肛交而已 So we're just doing it in the butt.
真有才 Great!
你知道对着菊花猛插插 Do you know how many butt-borne diseases
能插出多少种病来吗 there are out there?
你那小将军最好全副武装好了再上战场 You better be wrapping that Johnson, Mister.
那位姑娘要真觉得自己其实没在性交 And if that girl thinks she's not having sex,
那她肯定是他妈的疯了 she's off her fucking nut.
肛交可是性交中的战斗"交" Butt sex is the real deal.
肛交的"交"就是性交的"交" There's a reason they don't call it butt not-sex.
这事轮不到你管 It's our business.
她不介意不就行了 She's okay with it.
底线我可挑明了 一语双关你听好 Look, bottom line, pun intended,
她要想守住前院 if she's saving the bush,
你小子也别打后门主意 don't touch the tush!
这扇窗不仅能让屋里有更好的光照 Not only is the window gonna give you more light,
冬天的时候屋里也会暖和一些 but you're gonna get more heat in the winter
夏天房子也会更通风 and then you just get more ventilation come summer.
你看 婴儿床如果放在这的话 Look at that, you put the crib right over here,
你就可以在那抱着女儿哄她入睡 and you can rock her to sleep right over there.
我是说 如果是个女儿的话 That is, assuming she's a girl.
天啊 Shit.
你想知道宝宝的性别吗 Did you want to know what the sex was?
因为我刚才好像一不小心说漏嘴了 'cause I may have accidentally just told you.
是个女孩儿吗 It's a girl?
是的 她会喜欢这房间的 Yeah. She's gonna love her room.
你在家啊 Oh, you're home!
-亲爱的 -嗨 - Hi, honey. - Hi.
你看什么呢 What are you watching?
不是吧 你的演讲怎么样 Oh, no. Oh, how did your talk go?
你一不开心就会找暴力电影来看 You only watch violent movies when you're upset.
正相反凯西 德卢斯那场我大放异彩 Au contraire, Cath. I killed in Duluth.
这是我个人的丽塔·施特劳斯电影节 I am having a Rita Strauss film festival
我可要事先做足了功课 as part of my extensive preparation
因为我就要和丽塔·施特劳斯共进晚餐了 for my upcoming dinner with Rita Strauss.
丽塔·施特劳斯是谁 Who's Rita Strauss?
天啊 她可是好莱坞的金牌电影制作人 Oh, man, she's a big hollywood film producer.
80年代制作过一段超赞的战争电影 Had a whole really gnarly war movie phase in the '80s.
都是血肉横飞的场景 Fucking brutal stuff.
你猜怎么着 她看了我的博客 And get this: She reads my blog.
管我叫"普通人" Called me an everyman.
是不是很棒 Isn't that cool?
想听点儿更棒的消息吗 Want to know something even cooler?
什么 What?
你这个普通人就要添个宝贝女儿啦 Everyman's gonna have a baby daughter.
你说啥 What?
我们要有女儿了吗 We have a little girl?
我的天啊 Oh, my god.
等等 等一下 Oh, wait, wait.
我一直在等你回来 I've been waiting...
好跟你一同拆开这个 to open this with you.
是玛克辛孕期的一些文件 It's Maxine's pregnancy file.
她真美 She's beautiful.
我们雇用戴夫怎么样 What if we hire Dave...
让他在婴儿房开一扇窗 to put a window in the nursery?
他说他很快就可以完工 He said he could do it really fast.
草图都已经画好了 He sketched it all out.
对宝宝来说有扇窗一定很好 It would be so nice for the baby.
开扇窗吗 亲爱的 A window, honey?
我是说 现在连宝宝都还没出世呢 I mean, but we don't even have a baby yet.
还是等宝宝来了再作打算吧 Why don't we wait till the baby gets here?
她就在这儿啊 保罗 She's right here, Paul.
时间不等人 我们得做好准备啊 Things are happening fast, and we have to be ready.
事实上 我们得整理一下相关文件 In fact, we have to get our paperwork organized
今晚跟领养律师见面的时候要用 for our meeting with the adoption lawyer tonight.
保罗 怎么了 什么事 Paul, what? What is it?
我已经答应丽塔·施特劳斯 I told Rita Strauss
今晚我们会跟她一起吃饭 that we'd have dinner with her tonight
因为她只有这个周末才在城里 because she's only in town for one weekend.
保罗 人家律师是替我们行方便 Paul, that lawyer was doing us a favor
才挤出时间这周末见我们 by squeezing us in this weekend.
那可是非常重要的会面 That was an important meeting.
所以我也只是建议改日再见啊 Which is why we're still gonna have it.
亲爱的 今天的晚餐一定会非常有趣的 Honey, this dinner's gonna be a lot of fun.
你我加上乔伊 还有 It's gonna be you and me and Joy and--
还有丽塔·施特劳斯和阿霸波 and Rita Strauss and Ababuo.
我买了件外套 I bought a jacket.
我为了这次晚餐专门买了件新外套 I bought a special jacket just for the dinner.
要不这样吧 亲爱的 But you know what, sweetie?
你想怎样我都依着你 I will do whatever you want.
我现在就去取消 I will totally frickin' cancel it.
你希望我取消吗 我可没在开玩笑 You want me to cancel it? I'm not kidding.
她也许有私人飞机呢 She's probably got a private jet.
什么时候想飞来也容易 She can come back whenever she wants.
别 算了 No, no.
我们去吧 We'll go.
谢谢你 因为我其实不知道她的电话 Oh, thanks, 'cause I didn't really know her number.
刚这是假装拨号呢 I was fake dialing it.
由于施工原因94号公路 construction on I-94 has shut down
两个方向的左车道都已关闭 the two left lanes in both directions
因此双城之间的交通要道全线瘫痪 and caused quite a gridlock in the Twin Cities.
指美国明尼苏达州的圣保罗和明尼阿波利斯两个城市
强烈建议您不要走高速公路 You might want to take surface streets--
科尔比 在吗 Hey, Kirby?
35号州际公路北行车辆移动缓慢 Northbound I-35 is moving slowly.
平均车速为每小时5到10公里 Cars averaging 5 to 10 miles per hour.
南行也没有好到哪里去 It's not looking much better southbound,
一辆翻倒的大卡车堵住了路... thanks to an overturned big rig--
麻烦请给我来一品脱 Can I have a pint of, uh...
喝什么好呢 来点好货吧 I don't know, something good?
我不在这工作 I don't actually work here.
只想换个台... 这路况报道 I just was the-- the traffic report
听得我心烦意乱 酒保又去洗手间了 was a buzz kill, and the bartender's in the loo.
-啊 -没事我来吧 我强烈推荐 - Ah. - But I do, I recommend
富勒的伦敦之颠啤酒 the Fuller's london pride.
味道像夹心巧克力 Tastes like Butterfinger.
好吧 这样的话 我要两杯 Well, then, uh, I'll take two.
只要你愿意和我喝一杯... On the condition you join me for one, uh...
-艾利克西斯 -皮特 - Alexis. - Peter.
很高兴见到你 Nice to meet you.
谢谢你的提议 皮特 但是... Thanks for the offer, Peter, but...
我有男朋友了 I'm seeing someone.
他真幸运 Lucky guy.
是啊...我们打算相处着看 Yeah, well... We'll see how it goes.
才刚开始 It's new.
他是个建筑商 He's a contractor.
他最性感的一点就是 The sexy thing about him,
一间平凡的老房子在他眼里 he can look at a plain ol' house
只要稍作一点改动就会 and see how amazing it could be
变换出奇异的新气象 with just a little work.
我约会过不少孩子气的男人 I've dated so many man-boys.
他们嘴上说出了花 They talk a good game,
但是从来都他妈不会付诸行动 but they don't want to put the fucking work in.
这一次... This time in my life...
我要找个少动嘴多干事的主 I'm looking for less talk and more action.
我操这个真好喝 Shit, that is good.
对吧 待会儿别忘了留小费 Yeah, don't forget to tip your server.
如果你和你的建筑商男友合不来的话 Uh, if things don't work out with your contractor guy,
记得给我电话 give me a call.
干杯 Cheers.
我喜欢紧捏你那对淘气的乳头 I like squeezing those perky nipples of yours.
喔 太惹火了 Wow, that's hot.
真的太惹火了 That is really hot.
我在舔你的乳头 伟立 I'm licking your nipples, Willy.
我正在吮吸它们 I'm sucking on them.
你喜欢这样 对吧 伟立 You like that, Willy, huh?
不 不 不是说你 蒂姆 Uh, no! No, not you, Tim.
我确实喜欢 出去 I like it. Get out!
不是说你 蒂姆 别挂 Not you, Tim. Stay there.
我要一口咬住你的乳头 I'm gonna bite down on those nipples
就像咬毛茸茸的小熊橡皮糖 like hairy little gummi bears.
太下流了 Oh, that's nasty!
什么 What?
你...你不喜欢这个 You--you don't like that?
不 我... No, I--
个小兔崽子 Oh...Son of a dick!
-你还好吗 伟立 -不好 - Are you okay, Willy? - No!
我试着...我在和面做披萨 I'm trying to--I'm trying to make pizza from scratch,
这活真他妈折腾死我了 and it's a pain in my ass.
这是我... It's my...
我那个色欲狂外甥的最爱 My sex maniac nephew's favorite,
如果我不给他做他爱吃的食物 and if I don't make his favorite fucking food,
他就会很狂躁 he gets all moody.
你知道吗...我想让他尝尝真正的美食 You know...I wanted him to taste real food
而不是他妈的垃圾食品 that isn't a fucking biohazard
哪怕吃一次也成 just once in his life.
蒂姆 我... Wow, Tim, I'm---
抱歉我刚才有失专业水准 I'm sorry for my professional lapse.
你刚才在吮吸我的乳头是吧 I believe you were sucking on my nipples?
你在做披萨吗 You're making pizza?
恩 Mm.
我是纽约来的 披萨是我的专长 I'm from New York. Pizza's my religion.
跟我说说你在干什么 Talk me through what you're doing.
我能帮你 I can help.
-真的 -相信我 - Really? - Trust me.
你外甥会疯狂爱上的 Your nephew's gonna go nuts.
-这么说 你是纽约来的 -恩哼 - So, uh, you're from new york? - Mm-hmm.
-纽约哪 -我在布鲁克林长大的 - What part? - Well, I grew up in Brooklyn.
嗨 老姐 Hey, sis.
你看上去光彩照人啊 Whoa, you look shiny.
我们要和真正的好莱坞制片人共进晚餐了 We're having dinner with a real Hollywood producer.
-保罗遇见她... -我没兴趣 - Paul met her-- - I don't really give a shit.
我得借双保罗的袜子 I need to borrow a pair of Paul's socks
去见个客户 for a client meeting.
亚当想洗衣服来着 然后我所有的袜子 Adam tried to do our laundry, and now all my socks
都染粉了还缩水了 are pink and size two.
好吧 等一下 我有点迷糊了 Okay, wait a minute. I'm confused.
你从...电话服务变成真人见面了 You're--you're meeting a client in person.
-对啊 -这是不是代表 - Uh-huh. - Does this mean
你现在是个男妓了 you're a male prostitute now?
天啊 凯西 Jesus, Cathy.
我只是想出个门 I just gotta get out of the house
找一个不是毛头小子的家伙喝杯酒 and have a drink with somebody who isn't 16 years old.
蒂姆 正好也是个很健谈的家伙 Tim...happens to be an excellent conversationalist
况且我们有不少共同点 with whom I have a lot in common.
我这可算是迈出了一大步 Well, this is really new territory for me.
你知道吗 我从没在 You know, I've never been "Sean"
我的基友面前露出真面目 with any of my gentlemen callers before.
你觉得他会喜欢我吗 You think he'll like me?
看得上伟立·万艾可的人 眼光能有多高 If he liked Willy Wanker, how high can the bar be?
凯西 看过你丈夫的博客之后 Cathy, I've read your husband's blog.
看到你有种似曾相识的感觉 I feel like I know you already.
见到你真是太高兴了 Oh, it is so wonderful to meet you.
我...我并不怎么知晓电影业 I--I don't really follow the movie industry,
但我上网搜了一下你... but I googled you, and...
你去年制作了两部我最喜欢的电影 You produced two of my favorite movies last year.
-这个嘛 -你得为我家里 - Well... - You're responsible for
逆流成河的眼泪负责 a lot of tears being shed in my family.
大多数是我流的 Mostly by me.
瑞塔是真他妈有才啊 Rita's a fucking genius.
我算不上真他妈有才 Well, I'm not a fucking genius.
只是个他妈的中学老师 I'm just a fucking high school teacher.
没见你跟我提起她这么幽默啊 You did not tell me she was so funny.
是啊 你会被这位女士惊呆的 Oh, yeah, you'd be surprised by this lady.
她非同凡响 She's dynamite.
我得郑重声明一下 Well, I just have to say, for the record,
我觉得中学老师 that I think school teachers
才是这个国家他妈的真正的英雄 are the real fucking heroes of this country.
-同意 干杯 -为这句来一杯 - Hear, hear. - I will drink to that.
很好 很好 来喝点雪利酒 Oh, good, good. Have some sherry.
不用了 谢谢 No, thank you.
你的故事让我念念不忘 保罗 I cannot get your story out of my head, Paul.
我昨晚重新看了一遍你的博客 I re-read your blog last night.
-从头到尾吗 -引人入胜 对不对 - All of it? - Riveting, right?
岂止啊 Beyond.
你有没有想过要卖出你生活的版权 Have you ever thought about selling your life rights?
你说什么 Excuse me?
我想拍一部以你为原型的电影 I want to make a movie based on your life.
我的亲娘啊 Holy shit.
我转眼的功夫就能把电影筹备好 I could put this project together in a heartbeat.
迪卡普里奥在寻找改编自真实故事的剧本 Dicaprio is looking for a true life story to star in.
应该是莱昂纳多·迪卡普里奥 大家懂的...
他想演一个老老实实过日子的普通人 He wants to play a regular, honest, everyday guy.
我今天早上跟他聊了聊 I talked to him about it this morning.
他很喜欢这个主意 超爱 He love the idea. Loves.
这简直难以置信 This is unbelievable.
太好了 亲爱的 That's terrific, honey.
下周我要跟桑迪飞去拉斯维加斯 And I'm flying to Vegas with Sandy next week,
到时候我跟她谈谈 so I'll float this by her.
谁是桑迪 Who's Sandy?
布洛克 桑德拉·布洛克 Bullock. Sandy Bullock.
美国女演员 奥斯卡奖和金球奖双料得主
她有点碎嘴子 不过大家都很喜欢她 She's a little chatty, but she's a real peach.
-我靠 -我想这个题材 - Shit. - And I think this material's
一定会引起她的共鸣 really gonna resonate with her.
谁不想演迪卡普里奥的妻子啊 I mean, who doesn't want to play Dicaprio's wife?
就算他在我床上吃饼干 I wouldn't kick him out of bed
我都不会把他踢下去 for eating crackers.
我还真踢过 Actually, I did.
不好意思 你是说 I--I'm sorry, are you--
你要请桑德拉·布洛克来扮演我 You're gonna-- you're gonna ask Sandra Bullock to play me?
谁说请了 她必须演 Who's asking? She'll do it.
这是她欠我的 她搬到牧场去时 She owes me--I gave her a fucking horse
我可是给了她一匹绝世宝马 when she moved down to her ranch.
那谁来演贾米森先生的聪敏助手 Hey, who's gonna play Mr. Jamison's fly assistant,
我想到几个人选 because I have some ideas.
碧昂斯 Beyonce,
美国天后级流行歌手 多次获格莱美奖
奎因·拉蒂法 还有梅丽尔·斯特里普 Queen Latifah, and Meryl Streep
前者为著名Hip-Hop女歌手 后者为奥斯卡常客
要知道这娘们演谁像谁 'cause that bitch can play anybody.
我特喜欢你 I love you.
你永远都不知道 And you just never know
哪个来电者喜欢老式浪漫 which callers are gonna be old-fashioned romantics
哪个又像乳臭未干的小屁孩 and which ones are gonna like wearing diapers
让我打屁股 and getting spanked.
我样样精通 It's all good.
作为一名心理咨询师 Speaking as a psychotherapist,
我想到了我那些变态的客户 I can relate to freaky clients.
作为一名心理咨询师 Hmm. Speaking as a psychotherapist,
你能看得出来我在服用药物吗 can you tell I'm medicated?
不能 但如果这是你服药之后的状态 No, but if this is you on meds,
这药吃的值 I think you made a good choice.
是吗 Oh, yeah?
说说你的选择吧 Tell me about your choice.
就是打同性色情电话这事 You know, calling a gay phone sex line.
这有什么 What about it?
我跟自己坦诚相见 I'm honest with myself.
我了解自己的需求 知道怎么满足自己 I know what my needs are, and I know how to get them met.
我喜欢你 医生 I like you, doctor.
再喝一轮如何 How 'bout another round?
就来 Sure.
蒂姆 你人看起来很好 Um, Tim, you seem really great.
所以我就有话直说了 Um, so I'm just gonna come out and say this.
在现实生活中 In real life,
我是直男 I'm straight.
你为什么觉得需要告诉我这个 Why did you feel the need to tell me that?
我就是不想引起任何的... You know, I just didn't want there to be any...
误会 misunderstandings.
肖恩 没事的 Sean, it's fine.
我们又不是在约会 This isn't a date.
喝个啤酒罢了 It's beer.
好吧 那就开喝吧 Well, here's to beer.
谁还想要喝雪利酒 Who wants some more sherry?
这玩意儿神了 This stuff is amazing.
我想我还从没 You know, I don't think I've ever really
去细细品味过上等的加烈葡萄酒 appreciated the virtues of a good fortified--
矮油冒了 whoops-- wine.
凯西... Mm, Cathy...
我想让你跟桑德拉多接触 I'm gonna want to get you together with sandy.
她喜欢体验派表演方法 她会研究你 She's very method. She's gonna want to study you
把握你的特征 and your mannerisms.
你们姐俩改天可以一起去做个SPA You gals can go have a SPA day together.
彼此了解一下 Get to know each other.
能有个... It would be...
如此有天分的女演员 an honor to have such a talented actress,
来处理我儿子二年级时得的水痘 you know, deal with my son's second-grade chicken pox,
还有保罗97年国殇日那天打橄榄球撞出的脑震荡 and Paul's Memorial Day '97 rugby concussion,
以及阻止我弟弟在密西西比河裸泳 and my brother trying to swim down
我深感荣幸 the Mississippi naked.
狗血人生啊 Very high drama.
这些细节将会让她的遗言 Those moments are gonna make her
分外动人 last words so poignant.
桑德拉跟我说过无数次 她说 Sandy's told me a million times, she said,
"我从没拍过死亡的镜头" "I've never done a death scene."
"我迫不及待想去死" "I'm dying to die."
-是真的吗 -没错 - Is that true? - It is.
你刚刚说什么 Excuse me?
最后一刻的场景绝对会动人心弦 The final moment is going to be so powerful.
可她还没死 But she's not dead.
亲爱的 这叫合理改编 Oh, honey, it's called dramatic license.
再说了 大家都知道这病没法治 Plus, we all know there isn't a cure for this.
谢谢你了 丽塔医生 Oh, well, thank you, Dr. Rita.
恕我直言 You know, with all due respect,
你应该跟踪研究我 I should be your research.
我离死远着呢 I am far from dead.
凯西正在进行临床试验 Cathy's in a clinical trial.
医生们都在寻找治愈手段 And they're looking for a cure.
她的情况很好 会好起来的 And she's good. It's gonna be good.
好吧 可是电影总得有结局啊 Yeah, but the movie has to end somehow.
这可是好莱坞 伙计们 This is Hollywood, guys.
卖座电影就得这样 That's the way it works.
她必须死吗 She really have to die?
大家都喜欢幸福的大结局 People like happy endings.
所以他们才去看电影 不是吗 That's why they go to the movies, right?
《母女情深》 《泰坦尼克号》 《角斗士》 Terms of Endearment, Titanic, Gladiator.
他们的共同点都在于死亡 Common denominator: death.
票房大卖 And huge box office.
不好意思 不过我的生活 Oh, I'm sorry, but my life is--
可由不得你随意扭曲 is not for you to twist around
就为了捞钱或者获奖 to make a buck or win an award.
凯西 往好处想 找找乐子嘛 Cathy, let's try to find the joy in this.
够了 你带着你那满口胡话滚蛋吧 Okay, you can take your joy, and you can shove it.
至于你 别想在电影里动我一根手指头 And you, you can kill somebody else off in a movie.
亲爱的 等等 亲爱的 Honey. Honey, honey.
那个女人居然想让我死掉 That woman wants to kill me!
亲爱的 说句公道话 Honey, to be fair,
她是要让桑德拉·布洛克死掉 不是你 she wants to kill Sandra Bullock--Sandy.
如果我们同意了 And if we let her,
真正的凯西·贾米森 the real Cathy Jamison
就等着在钱堆里打滚吧 is gonna be rollin' in the dough.
现在不是钱的问题 保罗 The issue is not the money here, Paul.
那是我的未来 我对它还充满信心 The issue is my future, which I happen to believe in.
在我努力试着要活下去的时候 I don't want them making a movie about my dying
他们居然想要我在电影里死掉 while I'm trying to stay alive.
每次人们看这部电影都是在见证我的死亡 Every time someone sees it, I'll die.
让他们改个名字不就行了 Get them to change the names!
如果我要死 那也只有一次 When I do die, it's gonna be once.
而这一次绝不会是当着全世界的面 And it's not gonna be in front of the whole world
任由他们感叹 with everyone saying,
"她在电影里死得一点也不惨" "Oh, she died so much better in the movie."
亲爱的 这部电影 Honey, this project
会让我们的生活全然改变 could make a really big difference for us.
所以这有什么大不了的呢 I mean, what's the big deal?
他们只是想把我们一家 They just want to use our family
当成一个跳板 as, like, a jumping off point.
我们只是个蹦床 让他们直上云霄 We're the trampoline. We're just a big trampoline.
这不光涉及到你我 保罗 It's not just about our lives, Paul.
还有我们的儿子 It's our son's.
还有我们的女儿 你忘了吗 And our daughter's! Have you forgotten?
我们就要领养一个孩子了 We're adopting a baby!
你以为我为什么这么想答应她 亲爱的 Well, why do you think I want to do this so badly, honey?
我做每件事都是为了我们的家 Our family's the reason for everything that I do.
那为什么你磨磨蹭蹭 Then why are you dragging your feet
不去见领养律师 to see the adoption lawyer?
我知道 我知道 Oh, I know. Oh, I know, I know.
我知道 你最近忙得要死 I know... You've been really busy.
奇怪的是 你却挤出了时间 And yet, somehow, you found the time
去买这件新外套来讨好你新交的名人朋友 to buy that new jacket to impress your new a-list friends.
你居然还好意思跟我说 And yet, you have the nerve to tell me
先不要花钱 not to spend money on a nursery
为快要出生的宝宝装修育儿室 for a baby that's already on the way?
你真的想要这个孩子吗 保罗 Do you even want this baby, Paul?
什么 What?
当然啊 亲爱的 Honey, yes.
我现在有很多事要做 I have a lot going on right now.
这个时机也不算好 Yeah, the timing kind of sucks.
不过 也许在理想的世界里 And maybe, in a perfect world,
我们就不该现在领养一个孩子 no, we wouldn't be having a baby right now.
我想要这个孩子 保罗 I want this baby, Paul!
我坐出租车回去 I'm gonna take a cab home.
等等 Wait.
杰茜 我不希望你觉得 Jesse, look, I don't want to make you feel
你非得跟我做那个 like you have to do things with me
来讨我欢心 in order for me to like you.
我不觉得有什么事是我非得做的 I don't feel like I have to do anything.
我只做我想做的 I only do what I want.
好吧 不过 我知道你想保留贞操 Yeah, but, look, I know you're saving yourself,
而且这让我也乐意洁身自好 and that makes me want to save myself too.
但是我舅舅说我们那样就是性交 But my uncle says the stuff we're doing is sex.
不 那不是性交 No, it's not.
性交是为了繁殖后代而进行的婚后行为 Sex is for procreation between married people.
我们可不是要繁殖后代 We're not procreating.
对 但如果我们俩都是男人 Yeah, but if we were two dudes doing the same thing,
那样做不是会下地狱吗 wouldn't we be going to hell?
你看我哪里像男人 Do I look like a dude to you?
如果我有什么困惑 Look, when I'm unsure about something,
我就祈求上帝给我指引 I pray to God for guidance.
敬爱的神啊 Dear Lord...
请赐予我们智慧 帮助我们选择 Please grant us the wisdom to make righteous choices
让我们永守纯洁 and stay on the path of virtue.
教导我们 爱护彼此 Teach us to... love each other
并以此 in a way that...
歌颂你的圣名 glorifies your name.
这下以后给伟立打电话 I guess it'd be kind of weird
大概会有点奇怪了 for me to call Willy Wanker now.
我们可以再出来喝个啤酒什么的 Oh, we can grab a beer again sometime.
喝啤酒不会奇怪 Beer isn't weird.
除非是不含酒精或是安曼教派那种 Unless it's light, non-alcoholic, or Amish.
红酒怎么样 What if it's wine?
干杯 Cheers.
这房子不错 蒂姆 This is, uh, this is a nice pad, Tim.
不像我预想中标准的心理医生住所 Not nearly as shrinky as I expected.
不过我能感受到一种极度的宁静和放松 And yet I feel an overwhelming sense of mental well-being.
而且你呆满五十分钟我也不会撵你 And I won't even kick you out after 50 minutes.
你的领子 You got...
别 蒂姆 No, Tim...
蒂姆 Tim...
我勒个去 Holy fuck.
这 Wha--
你从哪儿冒出来的 Where did you come from?
你就是肖恩吧 This must be Sean.
对 Yeah.
你 你是谁 Wh-who are you?
这是我妻子吉赛尔 This is Giselle, my wife.
你的胡子真帅气 I like your beard.
你的毛毛也不错 I like yours too.
我上楼去了 I'll be upstairs.
那么 So...
你想到楼上来吗 Do you wanna come upstairs?
《Oh My God》 Ida Maria