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翻译：anythingbutme 柏林 大米稀饭 ntexplorer
校对：情瘦医生 监制：cheeseflower
后期：LCHAOS
鲍里斯
探访证
月桂冠监狱
黑衣人3
基督教歌曲 《奇异恩典》
悼念Z 19XX-2012
憎恨犯罪 以种族或者其它憎恨理由实施犯罪行为
鸭酱 一种鸭血制成的调味品
营业 [背面为"下班"]
康尼岛 纽约市布鲁克林区的半岛 著名的海上度假胜地
卡纳维拉尔角 著名的航空海岸 美国航天飞机的发射地点
小孩以为J是奥巴马总统
猫王 埃尔维斯·普雷斯利 美国摇滚乐史上影响力最大的歌手
韦尔瓦须后水 美国Combe公司出品的男士用品
清仓大处理
时空连续体 时间与空间共同组成的四维时空结构
雷达屏幕上出现的是伯格罗蒂特人的侵略战舰
华尔街崩盘 新一轮金融危机蒸发亿万资金[1929年10月]
战争结束了[1945年8月]
报纸上刊登的是1969年7月16日人类即将首次登月的消息
阿姆斯特朗 1930年8月5日-2012年8月25日 第一个登上月球的宇航员 登月是人类的梦想 阿姆斯特朗准备好了
罗斯福饭店
美国上世纪60年代反主流文化口号 最初被用于反越战游行
康尼岛
宇宙保龄球馆
航天员向祖国汇报 "一切就绪 期待发射"
安迪·沃霍尔 20世纪艺术界最有名的人物之一 波普艺术的倡导者和领袖
罗斯威尔 美国墨西哥州城市 曾发生过著名的"飞碟事件"
西塔琴 最具代表性的印度古典乐器 被广泛应用于全世界的摇滚乐中
米克·贾格尔 英国摇滚乐手 1969年担任滚石主唱 酷爱酗酒吸毒和滥交
斯伯丁 体育史传奇人物 棒球大联盟奠基人 并投身专业运动器材的制造
需要双人配合舞步 这里指声东击西战术
纽约邮政 今日登月
禁区
1969年7月16日 9点30分
背景歌曲为美国80后歌手艾莉西亚·凯斯的《帝国之心》
这里隐指阿姆斯特朗登月感想 "这是一个人的一小步 却是人类的一大步"
扫描结果 陶瓷炊具占 6% 有机物质占 94% 可通行
瞧啊 居然有人来看鲍里斯这个孽畜 Well, well, Boris the Animal has a visitor.
40年来 这是头一回 I guess one every 40 years is okay.
就是个蛋糕 It's a cake.
是什么我说了算 I decide what it is.
看来就是个蛋糕 Looks like some kind of cake.
她是干净的 She's clean.
当然不是那个意思 你懂的 Well, not clean, but you know...
我的天哪 Oh, God.
孽畜鲍里斯 Boris the Animal,
有人看你来了 you've got a visitor.
叫我鲍里斯 It's just Boris.
你的来信 一直都是我的心灵鸡汤 Your letters have been a soul-nourishing tonic.
你可比照片要来得 And you are much more
骨骼清秀 英俊脱俗 unconventionally handsome than your photos.
这不是配偶探访 This ain't a conjugal visit.
你们还是停止交配行为吧 So quit your conjugating.
你上次交配是什么时候的事了 When's the last time you conjugated anything?
亲爱的 我看到你给我带礼物了 I see you've brought me a treat, darling.
能帮忙切一下吗 Would you mind cutting this up for us?
今天是个特殊的日子 It's a special day.
我就是这么浪漫 I'm a romantic like that.
你最好别这样 Oh, I wouldn't do that.
为什么 Why's that?
会毁了你的 It'll ruin your figure.
这下我才完整了 You complete me.
大的那个 The big one.
鲍里斯 你答应过要带我一起走的 Boris! You promised to take me with you!
我们说好了的 We had a deal!
俄巴底亚·普莱斯 Obadiah Price.
没错 我的确答应过你 Yes. I did make you a promise.
等一下 有点不对劲 Wait. I smell something.
束手就擒吧 鲍里斯 You can't win, Boris.
我可不这么想 Let's agree to disagree.
我们人多势众 There's too many of us.
这儿真热 开个天窗怎么样 Rather hot in here. Mind if I open a window?
对不住了 亲爱的 谢谢你的蛋糕 Sorry, darling. We did love the cake.
K 我们来重写历史吧 怎么样 Let's rewrite history, shall we, K?
下午好 Good afternoon.
大家注意 我的同事特工J有话要说 Please give your attention to my associate, Agent J.
他将给你们示范一个 He's going to demonstrate
利用电生理零突触机制的 an electro-biomechanical neural-transmitting,
神经传导复位器 zero-synapse repositioner.
我们称之为神经分析仪 We call it the neuralyzer.
-速战速决 小子 -多谢提醒 - Keep it simple, slick. - Thanks a lot.
谢谢 特工K Thank you, Agent K.
女士们先生们 请看这里 Ladies and gentlemen, if you will look right here.
大家知道 在飞机上 You know how you're on an airplane
乘务员会请你把手机关掉 对吧 and a flight attendant asks you to turn your cellphone off?
你肯定会说 我才不关呢 You're like, "I ain't turning my cellphone off.
手机又不会影响该死的飞机 That don't have nothing to do with no damn plane."
结果就这样了 后果很严重 Well, this is what we get. That's what happens.
飞机出轨 扰乱卫星 接着就相撞了 It gets up there, bounces around on the satellites and... bang!
所以说还是乖乖地把手机关了 So it's that just turn your damn phone off.
晚上开车小心点 你们会冲下悬崖 Now you're gonna drive off a cliff tonight
没了卫星 全球定位系统就没用了 because your GPS don't work.
检查一下燃料成分和表层沉积物 Check the composition of the fuel units and surface deposits.
我要知道是谁的飞行器 I wanna know who was driving.
遵命 长官 Yes, sir.
-你今晚准备如何致辞 -别担心 - What are you gonna say tonight? - Don't worry.
不 我可担心了 这很重要 No, I'm very worried. This is important.
-我饿了 你呢 -K - I'm hungry. You hungry? - K.
说真的 我看那压根就不是肉 Seriously, I'm not even sure that's meat.
里面好像有颗牙齿 也许是爪子或者脚趾 I think I just saw a tooth in that thing. Or a claw. Or a hoof.
谢谢 曼尼 Thanks, Manny.
皮塔饼里不该有那玩意儿 That does not belong in a pita,
放在棺材里还差不多 it belongs in a casket.
你要是安安静静的 该多好 You know what would go good with this would be silence.
问题就在这儿 See, here's the problem.
你闻不出来 You can't smell it
因为你久在鲍鱼之肆不闻其臭 because your nose already smells like that,
但是我 出淤泥而不染 but my nose doesn't.
沉默是金 雄辩是银 Silence goes good with a lot of things.
你尝试过沉默吗 还是你不说话就会死 You ever try or is talking the way you breathe?
你要是讨厌我 直说就是了 If you hate me, just say you hate me.
别拿车子出气 Don't take it out on the car.
让我享受一下美味吧 Let me enjoy this.
还享受呢 Whoa, enjoyment.
原来你享受的时候 表情是这样的 So that's what enjoyment looks like on that face.
你自我陶醉的样子 我喜欢 I like that emotion.
我从不自我陶醉 I keep emotion out of it.
为什么 K 为了"正常"生活吗 Out of what, K? Life?
你今晚真不打算让我代言吗 You don't wanna run it by me?
-跟我说说你要讲什么吧 -别担心 - Let me know what you'll say? - Don't worry.
不行 我很担心 非常担心 Oh, no, I'm worried. Very worried.
这可是悼词啊 你得表现出感情来 It's the man's eulogy. You have to show some feeling.
就是正常人利用面部的变化 You know that thing that human people do
来反应情感的行为 when they change the expression on their face?
我和Z共事了40年 他是个牛逼的特工 I worked with Zed for 40 years. A hell of an agent.
我也为他定制了一个牛逼的悼词 And I have written a hell of a speech for him.
会很感人的 People will be moved.
现在 由K来致辞 And now a few words from Agent K.
我和Z共事了40多年 I worked with Zed for over 40 years,
可他从没请我吃过饭 and in all that time he never invited me to dinner.
从没邀请我去他家里看比赛 He never asked me to his house to watch a game.
他对自己个人生活 讳莫如深 He never shared a single detail of his personal life.
说得对 他是个怪人 Yeah, he was weird.
谢谢大家 Thank you.
现在有请我们的新主管 特工O And now we will hear from our new chief, Agent O.
谢谢特工K 感人至深的致辞 Thank you, Agent K. That was very moving.
-你的悼词就这样吗 -他是个好人 - That was your eulogy? - He was a good man.
女士们先生们 异型朋友们 Ladies, gentlemen, other life forms.
我把Z的讣告传达给菲努斯星球的齐洛特 When I told the Finucian Zyglot about Zed's passing,
她深表哀悼 让我来转述一下 she said something that I'm going to repeat.
具体如下 And I'm paraphrasing.
客观地评价了Z的一生 That's just so Zed.
谢谢各位 Thank you.
你是不是丢了魂魄 二愣子 You lose something over here, Hondo?
能不能答应我 如果我先走一步 Can you promise, if I go first,
在我的葬礼上说得更好些 行不 you'll do better than that at my funeral?
比如 可以说 You know, something like,
J是我的好朋友 "J was a friend.
他如今驾鹤西去 空余我惆怅独悲 Now there's a big part of me that's gone.
J 我有好多话想对你说 Oh, J, all the things that I should have said
但是我老了 脾气又臭又倔强 except I was too old and craggy and surly and just tight.
我是个老顽固 I was too tight.
我只能临风缅怀 缅怀你焦褐色的皮肤 Now I'm gonna just miss your caramel-brown skin."
放心 我会临时发挥的 I'll wing something.
K 我是O 我们接到报告 K, it's O. We have reports of
有人感染了外星蛔虫 several humans suffering from intestinal worms of alien origin.
谢了 O Thank you, O.
你是怎么变成这副德性的 How did you get to be like you?
肯定事出有因 到底怎么了 K Seriously, something happened, K. What happened?
想知道我为什么能这么快乐吗 You know how I live such a happy life?
你还自以为"这么快乐" How you live such a happy life?
对于不愿面对的问题 我从来不问 I don't ask questions I don't want to know the answer to.
真深刻 That's deep.
杰弗里 Jeffrey.
我们认识吗 Do I know you?
这家店的服务是无所不能的 Your services are legendary.
听说从你爸开始就这样了 So says your father, Obadiah.
你在月桂冠监狱待过 You were in Lunar-Max.
没有哪个监狱能关得住我 There is no prison that can hold me.
帅呆了 你想要什么呢 大哥 Cool for you. What do you need from me, man?
时光穿梭仪 The device.
我要穿越回去杀个人 I'm going back in time to kill a man
在他把我的手臂打掉之前 before he takes my arm.
吴园酒家 钻石花园海鲜饭店
K J 你们好啊 K, J!
真高兴又见面了 坐老位置吗 So happy to see you. Mr. Wu get you your regular table?
不吃点东西吗 You no hungry?
我们要看看货仓 Show us the tanks, Wu.
没问题 你们随便看 都是新鲜的 Oh, sure, sure. You look. Very fresh.
我们要看最里面的那些 Show us the tanks in the back.
对不起 我英文不好 欢迎下次惠顾 So sorry. No speak English. You come back later, okay?
省省吧 这种骗旅客的废话 吴 Save the chop-socky bullshit for the tourists, Wu.
你们百般刁难 让我蛋疼 为什么 Hey, what you guys wanna bust my balls for, huh?
疼什么疼 你又没有蛋蛋 You don't have no balls.
朋友 看来你像是来自 Man, you look like you come from the planet...
混蛋星球 Damn.
鲍勃 这一次你明显违反了 And Bob here is a clear violation of
健康法规第32条 Health Ordinance 32.
出售未经许可的 Selling unlicensed extraterrestrial
外星食材 foodstuffs.
那鱼可是地球品种 That is an Earth fish.
中国的传统菜肴 Very traditional in China.
你要是抓我 就是憎恨犯罪 You arrest me, that's a hate crime!
那也得有个前提 你是中国人 It would be if you were Chinese.
K 拜托了 我还得养家糊口呢 K, come on. I got larvae to feed.
刺钉鱼是给谁准备的 Who is the Spiky Bulba for?
没给谁 Nobody.
给谁 Who's it for?
我放着以备不时之需 I keep them in case!
-谁有这个需求 -我不知道 - In case what? - I don't know!
谁都有可能啊 Anybody!
好吧 你个鼻涕虫 All right, you slug.
吴 他和我闹别扭 正在气头 Wu, he and I are having issues in our relationship right now,
不该让你受到牵连 but you shouldn't have to suffer for that.
谢了 J Thank you, J.
所以要想不被"鱼"扇耳光 So if you don't like getting fish-slapped,
就给我乖乖地配合调查 I'm gonna need you to keep to our agreement.
给地球人上真正的地球鱼 别耍花招 Earth people get Earth fish. Real Earth fish.
可怜可怜我和卑微的孩子们 On behalf of my pathetic self and worthless children,
请你们留下 you stay.
让我以无上的光荣 Allow me most honorable benefit
为你们煮一碗心爱的面条吧 K of serving you favorite noodles, K?
谁要吃你那烂面条 吴 Don't nobody want your nasty-ass noodles, Wu.
你他妈的就是一坨屎 犯贱 You're a piece of shit, Wu.
加点虾和白菜 Shrimp and bok choy.
我们要在这儿待上一会儿 We're gonna be here for a while.
有点儿过了 That was just mean.
你刚才对吴做的 What you did to Wu back there.
把他的裙子都给剥了 Snatched his skirt off.
真是无礼 That's just disrespectful.
我以前和我爸玩过一个游戏 I used to play a game with my dad.
叫做 "最后的晚餐吃什么" What'll You Have For Your Last Meal.
比起这个来 可好多了 You could do worse than this.
这么说来 Okay.
我也和我爸爸玩过一个游戏 I used to play a game with my dad,
叫做 "接球" called catch.
只不过 我是把球对着墙壁扔 Except I'd throw the ball and it'd just hit the wall
因为他是个虚拟人 because he wasn't there.
别说你老爸的坏话 Don't badmouth your old man.
我没在说他坏话 我只是从来不了解他 I'm not badmouthing him. I just didn't really know him.
不对 It's not right.
当然不对了 哪个小孩不需要父亲 Damn right it's not. A little boy needs a father.
1号桌什么都没点 Table one hasn't ordered a thing.
3号桌一直在喝鸭酱 Table three over there just drank his fourth cup
喝第四杯了 of duck sauce.
K 今天上午坠地的飞船 是来自 K, the crashed ship from this morning was stolen from
月桂冠监狱 Lunar-Max Prison.
孽畜鲍里斯干的 Boris the Animal.
你怎么知道的 How did you know?
他对刺钉鱼情有独钟 He has a taste for Spiky Bulba.
容后再议 头儿 Give us a minute, will you, chief?
我们有活干了 We're in a situation.
是啊 Oh, yeah.
我去干掉克罗洛普 I take the Chloropod.
你对付塔兰塔比 You take the Tarantabee.
还有那儿的海德洛尼安 And the Hydronian over there.
我负责厨房 I'll take the kitchen.
然后在街上会合 Meet you on the street.
我正处在人生中的迷惘期呢 This is a very confusing time in my life.
把嘴闭上 把头低下 Keep your mouth closed, keep your head down.
你好 K Hello, K.
孽畜鲍里斯 Boris the Animal.
叫我 鲍里斯 It's just Boris.
你还是老样子 You haven't changed very much.
我打断的胳膊 还是当初的样子 I see the arm I shot off is still shot off.
是啊 我的胳膊 Yes, my arm.
40年了 我们彼此都对那一刻 We've thought about that moment
每天念念不忘呢 every day for the last 40 years.
这可不是积极的生活态度 Well, that's just not living a full life.
我保证会比你活得更长 I can promise you it will be longer than yours.
也更孤单 Lonelier too.
你是最后一个伯格罗蒂特人了 Since you're the last Boglodite standing.
这可不好说 We'll see about that.
不过 我要先杀你为快 But first, I want the pleasure of killing you.
喂 K Yo, K.
-你上哪儿去了 -钓鱼 - Where the hell have you been? - Fishing.
你可能还不知道 K 你早就死了 You don't know it, K, but you're already dead.
你没事吧 You all right?
各位 请注意 May I have everyone's attention, please?
谢谢 Thank you.
你们的孩子 You know how your kid
从学校跳蚤市场赚回一条金鱼 won the goldfish in that little baggie from the school fair
但你们觉得恶心 不想把它放在屋里 and you didn't want that nasty thing in your house,
于是就骗孩子说它跑了 so you told your kid it ran away
而事实上是把金鱼扔进马桶冲掉了 but what you really did was flush it down the toilet?
看吧 这就是后果 Well, this is what happens.
明白吗 所以说 别骗小孩子 Okay? See what I'm talking about? Don't lie to your kids.
老兄 我老了 干不动了 Man, I am getting too old for this.
你的感受 我只能想象 I can only imagine how you feel.
孽畜鲍里斯 Boris the Animal.
我把他关在牢里很久了 I put him away a long time ago.
这是我犯的最大错误 It's the worst mistake I ever made.
怎么了 他是无辜的吗 Why? Was he innocent?
我早该把他处决的 Should have killed him.
既然这样 我们这就去把他干掉 Well, shit, let's go get him.
不 No.
-不吗 -你别插手 - No. - Leave it alone.
这超出了你的执行级别 It's above your pay grade.
我们是搭档 等级不是一样的吗 We're partners. We have the same pay grade.
这和你没关系 别管闲事 It has nothing to do with you. Mind your own business.
好 首先 Okay, first of all,
别用这种语气跟我说话 let's get a little bit of that bass out your voice.
其次 只要那刺钉佬还在这里 And secondly, as long as Spikey Boy is running around town,
我就管定了 this is my whole business.
最好别碰鲍里斯的案子 You'll forget about Boris
不然我就在报告里说 or my report will reflect
你行为不当 that your conduct has been unbecoming.
那我也可以在报告里"检举"你 K Well, maybe my report is gonna reflect some shit too, K.
-你被停职两周 -才怪 - You are suspended for two weeks. - Bullshit.
那就四周 Four weeks.
我干脆辞了算了 How about I quit?
有些事情你不需要知道 There are things out there you do not need to know.
你当初招我的时候可没说这种鬼话 That's not the lie you told me when you recruited me.
怎么了 潮男 搭档不理你了 What up, pops? Lose your partner?
是的 Yeah.
前往阿法尊巴的下一班飞船 Next shuttle to Afazumba
将在22分钟后起飞 leaving in 22 minutes.
检索 Search
孽畜鲍里斯 Boris the Animal.
孽畜鲍里斯 伯格罗蒂特杀手 Boris the Animal, Boglodite assassin.
伯格罗蒂特人为凶残的外星种族 Boglodites were a rogue alien race
杀人毁星 无恶不作 that consumed all planets in their path.
发生在地球上的外星人系列谋杀案 Boris the Animal was the only suspect
孽畜鲍里斯是唯一的嫌犯 in a series of alien murders committed on Earth.
我要看案件报告 Incident report.
作为69年7月15日连环谋杀案的凶手 Boris the Animal was convicted
孽畜鲍里斯被判有罪 for the following murders that occurred on July 15, 1969.
凶案一 发生于康尼岛 10:37 Murder number one, Coney Island, 10: 37 a.m.
受害人 寓言家罗曼 Roman the Fabulist.
凶案二 工厂 Murder number two, the factory.
精确检索 Refine search.
特工K Agent K.
特工新人K逮捕孽畜鲍里斯 Junior Agent K apprehended and arrested Boris the Animal
时间 1969年7月16日 on July 16, 1969,
地点 佛罗里达州 卡纳维拉尔角 at Cape Canaveral, Florida.
卡纳维拉尔角 Cape Canaveral...
K特工被授予最高表彰 因为他的英勇 Agent K received highest commendation for heroic action
以及启用了天网防御系统 including implementation of the Arc Net Defense System
保护地球免遭伯格罗蒂特人入侵 which protected the Earth from Boglodite invasion
并成功消灭该种族 and led to the race's extinction.
给我详细资料 Details.
访问受限 Access restricted.
开玩笑吧 我是J Excuse me? Clearance level senior agent,
资深特工 权限一级 class one. J.
访问被拒绝 Access denied.
怎么回事 What?
怎么突然对搭档的既往史感兴趣了 So why this sudden interest in your partner's old exploits?
鲍里斯和K到底怎么回事 What happened between Boris and K?
很简单 That's easy.
K让鲍里斯蹲监狱 并布置了天网 K imprisoned Boris. He put up the Arc Net.
他使地球免于受伯格罗蒂特人的屠戮 He protected the Earth from the Boglodites.
恪尽职守 He did his job.
你知道我问的不是这个 You know that's not what I'm asking.
卡纳维拉尔角发生了什么 Cape Canaveral, what happened?
让他从此改变的事情 Something that changed him.
别再问了 Leave it at that.
你们俩是不是原来有过一腿 So you two go way back, huh?
这是机密 That's classified.
一点建议 特工J A word of advice, Agent J.
别问那些你不想面对的问题 Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to.
有意思 K也是这么说的 That's funny. That is exactly what K said.
他是个睿智的男人 He's a very wise man.
今晚好好休息吧 Take the rest of the night off.
怎么了 What?
我想我该给你解释些什么 Guess I owe you some answers, hoss.
怎么 突然就想开聊了 What, you're feeling chatty all of a sudden?
我现在不方便说话 I can't talk right now.
我有点私事要做 I've got secret cases of my own I'm working on.
我也不想打扰你玩游戏 I hate to tear you away from your video game.
好了 我要挂了 All right, I'm hanging up.
你知道宇宙中破坏力最强的是什么吗 You know the most destructive force in the universe?
糖吗 Sugar?
是悔恨 Regret.
别停啊 接着说 You don't have to wait. Just talk.
我只想告诉你宇宙的秘密 没别的了 I promised you the secrets of the universe. Nothing more.
你是说 宇宙还有连自己都不知道的秘密吗 So there's secrets out there that the universe don't know about?
妈妈 Mommy.
请问有什么事 Can I help you?
K在不 K?
这里可是5K 5k.
不好意思 那是巧克力奶吗 I'm sorry, is that chocolate milk?
可以让我尝一口吗 真是抱歉 Can I--? I'm so sorry.
我不知该怎么... I don't know what....
妈妈 总统在喝我的奶茶 Mommy, the president is drinking my milk.
真对不起 I'm sorry.
他没说"请" He didn't say please.
K来了吗 K get in yet?
K是谁 Who?
你新来的吧 You new?
真会开玩笑 特工J Very funny, Agent J.
J 你昨天跟我说的 真是对极了 J, everything you told me yesterday, you were right as rain.
幸好盯了10小时梢 收获匪浅 Thank God for that 10-hour stakeout.
你是哪位啊 Who are you?
没错 我也觉得自己完全换了个人 Exactly. I feel like a whole new man today.
浑身一下子轻松了许多 Like this great weight has been lifted.
过去我一直都暴躁易怒 I've had anger issues my entire life,
现在我明白了 我气的是自己 but now I see I was mad at myself,
还有我后妈 and my stepmom.
先生 我要你现在就闭嘴 Sir, I'm gonna need you to stop talking.
这就好像 我曾把情感封闭起来 It's like I closed this emotional window.
但昨天 我用砖头砸开了封闭的窗户 But yesterday I threw a brick through that window.
J 谢谢你给我那块砖头 I just want to thank you for handing me that brick, J.
不管你是谁 离我远点儿 Ok, whoever you are, I need you to give me five feet
否则把你的声带扯断 or I'll pluck you in your throat.
好吧 温馨的黑衣人办公室再见 Ok, I'm gonna go to the little Men's-in-Black room
我们一起找出那些来自灾星的白痴 then we'll go find those morons from Pox Ethera.
午饭我请 Lunch is on me.
他是谁 Who was that?
双A吗 你的搭档啊 Double A? Your partner.
帮我去拿杯巧克力奶茶 谢了 I need you to go get me some chocolate milk, all right?
要一大杯 还有你看见K了吗 Just a really big glass. And have you seen K?
他病休了还是怎么的 Did he call in sick or anything?
K是谁 Who's K?
好吧 好吧 你去吧 去吧 All right, all right, go ahead, go ahead.
K K!
行了 All right.
你们赢了 You got me.
我承认 非常有趣 非常到位 I'll give it to you. It's funny, very elaborate.
你们各位 演得棒极了 Oh, and all of you, fantastic performances.
真不敢相信 14年了 Can't believe you waited 14 years
你们才开始有一点幽默感 to develop a sense of humor,
不过这次真绝了 but this is a good one.
但是K 我要你马上给我出现 But K, I need you to come out here now
再不出来 我要生气了 because I'm starting to get a little pissed off.
特工J 请你把嗓门放低点 Agent J, would you mind keeping your voice down
告诉我你在找谁 好吗 and telling me who it is you're looking for?
我在找K I'm looking for K.
K是谁 Who is K?
怎么搞的 连你也这样 You too? You too.
我是说 他是你什么人 I mean, who is he to you?
他是我搭档 My partner.
老头子 110岁了吧 Older gentleman, 110...
或者 111岁了 ...maybe 111 years old.
阴沉不定 又有点猫王的气质 Sort of a surly, Elvis thing happening with him.
笑起来这个样子 He smiles like this.
有印象了吗 Seen him around?
我带你去见他 I'll take you to K.
谢了 Thank you.
-这什么玩意 -这就是K - What is that supposed to be? - That's K.
他死了40多年了 He's been dead for over 40 years.
行了 你要开玩笑 也得有个笑点吧 Okay, see, the prerequisite for a joke is that it be funny.
这根本就不是玩笑 It's never been funny.
资料检索 特工K和孽畜鲍里斯 Computer, Agent K and Boris the Animal.
黑超特警组案件报告 1969年7月 Men in Black incident report, July, 1969.
地点 卡纳维拉尔角 Location, Cape Canaveral.
凶犯孽畜鲍里斯逃离地球 Perpetrator Boris the Animal escaped and fled Earth.
被认为已返回 Assumed to have returned
20光年之外的伯格罗蒂亚星球 to planet Boglodotia 20 light-years away.
特工K在案发现场壮烈牺牲 Agent K pronounced dead at scene.
被追授荣誉表彰 Awarded posthumous commendation for action
其行动使人员伤亡降至最低 which prevented greater loss of human life.
这不是事实 That's not what happened.
我看过这报告 是K把鲍里斯抓起来的 I looked at this report. K put Boris away--
K已经死了 Agent K is dead.
可我昨晚还和他通话 Well, I just talked to him last night.
-你在胡思乱想 -我才没有乱想 - You are imagining. - I'm not imagining anything.
-马上呼叫心理医疗队 -遵命 长官 - I need a psych team up here right now. - Yes, ma'am.
他刮完脸用的是韦尔瓦须后水 Aqua Velva aftershave.
这可不是我能乱想出来的 I didn't imagine that.
每次盯梢 他都不停地放牛仔音乐 Every stakeout, endless hours of cowboy music.
每天早晨喝咖啡 他都会说 Every morning with his coffee, he'd say,
小子 我告诉你 "I'll tell you something, slick.
这咖啡喝起来有股土渣味 This coffee tastes like dirt."
我就会说 知足吧 And I was supposed to say, "What do you expect?"
-可是今天早上刚磨的 -刚磨的 - "It was ground this morning." - "This morning."
你怎么会知道 How do you know that?
先生 巧克力奶茶 Chocolate milk, sir?
你死哪儿去了 都有一个小时了 Where you been, man? It was like an hour ago.
等等 Wait.
你什么时候开始喜欢喝巧克力奶的 How long have you been craving chocolatized dairy products?
就今天 Just today.
你现在是不是有点头痛 头晕 Are you experiencing headaches? Dizziness?
腿脚不稳 Loss of balance?
情绪激动 郁闷 Agitation? Depression?
对 Hell, yeah.
有两种可能 Two possibilities.
一是你被霍瓦蒂脑虫咬了 One is you've been bitten by a Hovartian brain tick
随时可能剧痛而死 and could die in horrible agony at any moment.
糟糕 不是脑虫 Damn it. It's not the tick.
没被脑虫咬还糟糕 "Damn it, it's not the tick"?
难道还有比这更糟糕的 It's something worse than the tick?
你对巧克力奶的痴迷 Your obsession with chocolate milk
表明你可能曾被吸入时空裂口 indicates that you might be involved in a temporal fracture.
我不知道你在说什么 I don't know what you're talking about.
巧克力奶可以缓解时空碎裂造成的头痛 Chocolate milk relieves temporal-fracture headaches.
什么时空裂口 What's a temporal fracture?
一种历史时间轴的断裂 A break in the timeline.
我不知道你在说什么 I don't know what you're talking about.
时空旅行 历史穿越 Time travel! Time travel.
哪里有什么时空旅行 There's no such thing as time travel.
-这就是啊 -不 - Well, there is. - No.
不可能 There's not.
如果真有这种事情 Because if there were.
像我这样资深的高级探员 A class-one senior agent such as myself
难道一点都没感觉吗 更不用说K了 would have been aware of it, wouldn't he have?
除非他也没达到级别 Were it not classified and way above his pay grade.
我要求升级 You know, I need a raise.
有个龌龊的人 名叫俄巴底亚·普莱斯 There was one man, scumbag, Obadiah Price.
他想搞时空旅行 被我们阻止了 He figured it out, we busted him,
我们以非法穿越时空罪将他逮捕 we made time travel illegal throughout the universe
他现在月桂冠监狱服刑 and he is serving life on Lunar-Max.
天哪 鲍里斯就关在那里 No, that's where Boris was locked up.
如果鲍里斯掌握了穿越技术 If Boris worked out how to time jump
会严重地改变历史进程 he could seriously change the course of history.
注意 早期预警系统启动 Attention. Early warning system engaged.
有侵略战舰进入太阳系 Inbound hostile warships entering solar system.
经探测 发现了伯格罗蒂特标识及语言 Boglodite markings and language detected.
伯格罗蒂特 Boglodite.
鲍里斯就是伯格罗蒂特人 他们早灭绝了 Boris is a Boglodite, but they're extinct.
显然还没有 Apparently not.
地球即将遭受灾难性攻击 Catastrophic Earth attack imminent.
启动天网 Put up the Arc Net.
启动什么 The what?
天网 防御系统 The Arc Net. The defense system.
K为防御伯格罗蒂特人设置的 K got it for the Boglodites.
K早就不在人世了 There is no K.
他已经死了40年了 He's been dead for over 40 years.
没有K就没有防御系统 No K. No defense system.
鲍里斯穿越回去杀了他 Boris jumped back and killed him.
如果你要拯救世界 就必须阻止这件事发生 If you wanna save the world, stop that from happening.
你得去找杰弗里·普莱斯 俄巴底亚的儿子 You have to find Jeffrey Price. He's Obadiah's son.
希望那小子还没有穿越回过去 Let's hope the little squirt hasn't skipped town.
有什么需要吗 How can I help you?
现在电池正惊爆促销中 We're having an amazing sale on batteries.
别激动 我们还有其他商品 Okay, we got other stuff,
耳机 适配器... like headphones, adapters or...
是你帮鲍里斯穿越时空的 You helped Boris the Animal time jump.
的确 但我没得选 那家伙是个怪物 Okay, I had to. That dude's a freak.
他杀了我搭档 He killed my partner.
我要知道他穿越的时间和地点 I want to know when and where you sent him.
什么 你当我是记事本吗 What, you think I keep, like, a logbook?
发送目标 1969年7月16日 Target vector, July 16 1969
好吧 All right.
你朋友的不幸我深表遗憾 That's a real bummer about your buddy.
我确信他是个好人 I'm sure he was a great guy.
但对于整个时空连续体来说 But in terms of the space-time continuum
他只是雷达屏幕上的一个小小光点 your friend was a little blip on the historical radar!
还真是个大光点 That's a big blip.
好吧 你是什么计划 Okay. What's the plan?
把我传回到 You're gonna send me.
1969年7月15日 Back to July 15th, 1969.
不 这很愚蠢 No, that's a stupid plan,
因为我把鲍里斯传回了7月16日 because I sent Boris to July 16th.
我才不担心那个 I'm not worried about that one.
我要赶在老鲍里斯出现前杀掉小鲍里斯 I'll kill the younger Boris before the older one shows.
那样他们两个就都不存在了 That way, neither of them will even exist.
怪不得你能穿上这黑西装 That's why you get to wear the black suit.
不来碰一下手吗 好吧 You're gonna leave me hanging? Okay.
还有个问题 即使你回去了 Oh, I just thought of something.
纽约当时也算是数一数二的大都市 Even back then New York was like a big-ish city.
你打算怎么找到他 So how are you gonna really find him?
7月15日 鲍里斯在康尼岛上 On July 15th, Boris killed an alien,
杀了一个外星人 寓言家罗曼 Roman the Fabulist, at Coney lsland.
你想守株待兔 You're gonna get there first and be waiting?
伙计 他们得给你两套黑西装 Dude, they should give you two black suits.
兄弟 正经点行吗 My man, for real?
对 抱歉 Oh, right. Sorry.
这是真家伙 时空跳跃器 This is the real deal. Time-jump gear.
非常稀有 非常古老 Very rare, very old.
但先得去个 很高的地方 But first, we gotta get high.
不行 Hey. No.
我可不是开玩笑 No. No, I mean, really high.
伙计 拉一把 Hey, man? A little help here?
多谢 Thank you.
知道时空穿越的规矩吧 You know the rules of time jumps?
给我概括一下 Give me the short version.
如果想救你搭档 奉劝你一句 Okay. You wanna save your partner, word of advice.
离他远点 Stay away from him.
明白了 远离k 杀了鲍瑞斯就行 Yeah, got it. Stay away from K. Just kill Boris.
对 拿好这个 Now, take these.
下去的路上风相当大 It gets pretty windy on the way down.
下去的路上 The way down?
如果迎风流泪就没法读数了 With eyes tearing up, it's hard to read the dial.
这会让你看上去像真正的穿行者 Plus, it helps you look like a real time traveler,
酷毙了 which is cool.
我才不从这个鬼地方跳下去呢 I am not jumping off of this building!
时空跳跃的关键在于"跳" Time jump.
好吧 现在把时间设定到15日 Okay, now I gotta set this thing to the 15th.
看起来差不多了 That seems right-ish.
万事俱备 只欠一跳 Now... all you gotta do is jump.
等下 等一下 Hey, hey, stop. Stop it.
只要下落的速度够快 When you're moving fast enough
那个圆圈就会被某种 that circle is gonna fill
绿色的时空穿梭液填满 up with some sort of green time-travel liquid
然后会变得很亮 and it's gonna glow really bright.
那时候 你就要切断蓝色镭射线 As soon as that happens, break that blue laser line
用大拇指划一圈就行 with your thumb to complete the circuit.
目前的高度应该是... At this height, that should be...
我算算 Let's see,
地球的重力加速度大约是每分钟9米 mass of Earth and 30-something feet per minute...
是9.8米每秒 每秒 It's 32 feet per second. Per second.
你说得对 差不多吧 That sounds right-ish.
那么大概就是 So that would be,
我猜猜 大概是离地0.6米左右吧 I guess, about two feet off the ground.
在那儿阻断镭射线吗 I break the laser line?
不 不要碰它 No, don't break it!
-不 当我够快时 -说的没错 - No, when I'm fast enough! - Sounds good!
那到底要不要阻断镭射线 Do I break the laser line or do I not break the laser line?
千万别丢了时空穿越器 Do not lose that time device
不然你就回不来了 or you will be stuck in 1969!
1969对你可不是什么好年代 It wasn't the best time for your people.
我是说 如今的世界多精彩 I'm just saying. It's, like, a lot cooler now.
我怎么知道它能不能工作 How will I know if it works?
成功了就能知道 You'll either know
要么就是死翘翘了 or you won't.
你肯定是很喜欢他 才会这么做 You must really love this guy to do this.
等等 为什么就我记得K 其他人却不记得 Oh, wait. How come I remember K, but nobody else does?
-那就是说你已经在那儿了 -那儿是哪儿? - That means you were there! - I was where?
如果你没死 回来要把一切都告诉我 If you survive, you gotta come back and tell me everything.
我去哪儿了 Where was I?
你该走了 You gotta go!
快走 走 Just go, go, go!
快啊 Come on!
-老兄 今天星期几 -星期二 - My man, what's today? - Tuesday.
-日期呢 -15号 - The date? - The 15th.
-几月份 -7月 - Of? - July.
-哪一年呢 朋友 -1969 - Dog, the year. - 1969.
谢谢 Thank you.
看我怎么跟看疯子似的 Look at me like I'm crazy.
-给我们办入住登记 -好的 好的 - Get us checked in. - Yeah, yeah.
拜托认真些好吗 Hey. Hey, do me a favor, all right?
-搬行李小心点 -我会的 先生 - Be careful with the luggage. - Absolutely, sir.
那个行李箱可花了我不少钱 I paid a lot of money for that luggage.
-我会小心的 -上次我住这儿就蹭花了 - We'll take good care. - Last time, it got scuffed up.
我来吧 先生 有什么需要就打电话 Here you go, sir. Just call down when you need it.
后备箱里还有行李呢 There's more in the trunk.
会给您送到房间的 先生 您只管进去 Yeah, it'll be in your room, sir. Just go in.
请问... 那个谁 你是哪位 Excuse me. Excuse me, who is that? Who are you?
快走啊 Let's go!
帅呆了 伙计 Far out, man!
再乱摸 剁了你的手 If you want to keep that, I wouldn't.
要做爱 不要作战 Make love, not war.
我两样都要 I prefer to do both.
你们好 长官 有什么需要帮忙的 How are you, officers? What can I do you for?
看看这个 高档车窗 高档座椅 Well, look at this. Power windows, power seats.
我打赌这至少值六千美元 I'll bet you it cost 6 grand.
没错 它还有个顶篷 收起来了 Yes, and it has a roof, but it's hidden.
你是干什么的 Hey, what kind of work do you do?
鸡窝里飞出的凤凰吗 An individual of your particular ethnic persuasion?
说不定他是个体育明星 Maybe he's a noted athlete.
对 底特律黑人队的首发前锋 Yes. Starting forward for the Detroit Darkies.
-你从哪儿弄来的这辆车 -还有这行头 - Where'd you get the car? - And the suit?
都是我偷的 I stole them both.
车从你老婆那儿 行头从你奶奶那儿 Car from your wife suit from your grandmother.
看我们找到了啥 私藏武器 What do we have here? Concealed weapon?
这是他奶奶衣服里的 Hey, it's his grandmother's suit.
-这是什么 -嗑药用的吧 - Hey, what's this? - Probably drugs.
请不要乱碰上面的按钮 I have rights and I demand to see my lawyer
我有权利先召见我的律师 before you press that small button on the side firmly.
按吧 Press it.
先生们 那是标准记忆消除器 That, gentlemen, is a standard-issue neuralyzer.
但你们不会记得它的 You're not gonna remember that.
不能仅仅因为看见黑人开了辆好车 And just because you see a black man driving a nice car
就怀疑他是小偷 does not mean it's stolen.
我是偷了这辆车 可不因为我是黑人 I stole that one. But not because I'm black.
这车我马上就用完 待会儿你们找到车 I'll be done with the car in a minute!
就还给罗斯福饭店的那个蠢货吧 Just find it and take it back to the jerk at the Roosevelt Hotel.
那个阿卡南人在哪儿 Where is the Archanan?
你来得太晚了 You are too late.
他要把天网送给人类 He is going to give the humans the Arc Net.
我可不这么想 Let's agree to disagree.
我们会抓住他的 We'll take it from here.
K K?
K K K! K!
老爸 我在地球上 Dad, I'm on Earth.
我需要保释 I need bail.
开蓝色飞行舰的旅客 Will the owner of a blue warp-speed cruiser
请到前台报道 please report to the front desk.
你该把那玩意的电压调低点 You need to turn the electricity down on that damn thing.
我舌头都木了 K Can't taste my fricking tongue, K.
你怎么知道我名字 How do you know my name?
什么 因为我叫你K吗 What? Because I called you "K"?
我管谁都叫K No, I call everybody K.
这是我的癖好 It's kind of my thing.
怎么了 K What up, K?
好吧 我有点... K All right, I sort of... K
对 这是我的个性 有些人喜欢这样 Yeah, that's kind of my thing. I just... Some people like it.
大多数人 Most people.
现在我知道你扯谎时的样子了 Now that I know what you look like when you're lying.
何不让我看看你讲真话是什么样 Show me what you look like when you're telling the truth?
这些是我在康尼岛游乐场套圈赢的 I won those at Coney Island on the ring toss.
我在那赢过泰迪熊 但从没赢过这些 I won a stuffed bear once, but never one of these.
运气不错嘛 小子 Must be good, slick.
好吧 长官 我还有正经事要做呢 All right, sir, I was minding my own business.
我是在那儿等女朋友 I was waiting for my girl, who,
现在她可能正着急找我呢 by the way is probably worried sick looking for me right now.
所以 我需要拿上我的东西回去见她 So I just need my things and I need to get back to her.
她叫什么名字 What's her name?
你女友 她叫什么名字 Your gal, what's her name?
史泰伦 Schtaron.
史泰伦 Schtaron?
我打赌史泰伦很喜欢你的黑西装 I bet Schtaron likes that suit of yours.
怎么 穿黑西装有罪吗 What, it's a crime to wear a black suit?
废话少说 我又没做什么错事 All right, listen. I haven't done anything wrong.
干嘛要呆在这里陪你聊天 And I need to get out of here. I cannot be with you.
非常抱歉 Terribly sorry.
X对康尼岛的事已经很不爽了 X is frightfully upset about the whole Coney Island incident.
多谢你的提醒 Thanks for the heads-up.
这咖啡喝起来有股土渣味 Oh, man, this coffee tastes like dirt.
知足吧 这咖啡... What do you expect? It was...
可是早上刚磨的呢 Just ground this morning.
O O?
这个 我统称女士为O No, I call ladies "O".
对我来说O是女士 K是男士 To me, O is feminine, K is masculine.
如果我见到小两口就会说O-K You know, I see a couple, I'm like, "O-K."
什么乱七八糟的 有伤亡吗 What a mess. Any casualties?
有 寓言家罗曼 Yes, Roman the Fabulist.
人类伤亡呢 Any human casualties?
没有 长官 No, sir.
这家伙是谁 Who the hell is this?
我是... Look, I was...
抓到的闲杂人员 Stray human caught in the net.
给他编码43 再扔回去 Code 43 him and throw him back.
长官 您与瓦格兰星人的会议要迟到了 You're late for a meeting with the Viagrans.
他们研制出了开创性的新药 They have a revolutionary new pill.
那可真是... It's really...
接着说 小子 Okay, slick.
我在等我的妞 I was waiting for my girl.
史泰伦 Schtaron.
对 她是希腊人 Yes, she's Greek.
好吧 还剩最后一件事 眼睛检查 Okay. Just one last thing. An eye exam.
这可不是眼科检查 K That's not an eye exam, K.
这是大号记忆消除器 That's a big-ass neuralyzer!
你知道很多事情 You have a lot of information
一个普通人不会知道这么多事情 for a fella who doesn't know anything.
我懂你意思 I see what you're saying.
K 我们得暂停一下 You know, K, we need to hold up a second.
把这个护齿咬嘴里 Let's get this bite guard in here.
退下 退下 Hey, back up, back up.
K 我想我们刚才有些误会 K, listen, I think we got off on the wrong foot, all right?
我们得再谈谈 So let's just stop for a second and talk.
别把我放进这里 K Don't put me in here, K!
太晚了 伙计 Too late, hoss.
别这样 K 这案子我能帮上忙 K, no, listen to me. I can help you with this case!
K K!
我现在表情很真诚 你会后悔莫及的 I'm doing the truth face! You're missing it!
现在我看不到你的脸 只能想象了 I'll just use my imagination.
K 你在追捕的杀手 K, the killer you're looking for.
也就是我在追捕的那个伯格罗蒂特人 I'm after the same guy. A Boglodite.
他叫鲍里斯 His name is Boris.
马上就开始了 伙计 Ship has sailed, amigo.
如果我们不干掉他 就会出现两个本体 If we don't get him, there'll be two.
我在认真听着呢 You had my undivided attention.
一个只有一个胳膊 One will have one arm
另一个肢体健全 and one's gonna have two. K!
K 听我说 Listen to me!
如果你清除我的记忆 If you erase me
就等于清除了整个世界 you erase the world!
消除记忆 15秒倒计时 Fifteen seconds to neuralyzation
14 Fourteen.
13 12 Thirteen. Twelve.
11 10 9 Eleven. Ten. Nine.
明天见到鲍里斯 杀了他 When you see Boris tomorrow,
不要逮捕 直接干掉 K, kill him. Do not arrest him, kill him!
4 3 2 Four. Three. Two.
这机器停了吗 我觉得还没停 Is this thing off? Hey, I don't think it's all the way off, K!
还在嗡嗡作响的 K It's whirring and buzzing.
我不知道我是不是什么都不记得了 I don't know if I don't know nothing.
我认识罗曼 I knew Roman.
他老婆曾为我做过晚餐 His wife cooked me dinner once.
虽说过程不怎么愉快 但他是我朋友 While it was not pleasant, he was my friend.
最后机会 你是谁 你都知道什么 Last chance, who are you and what do you know?
我是来自未来的黑超特警 I'm an agent from the future.
我们是搭档 We're partners.
25年后 你召我入局 In 25 years, you'll recruit me
接着14年后 and 1 4 years after that,
你阻止我杀的那个人 the guy you didn't let me kill today
鲍里斯 逃出监狱 escapes from prison,
穿越回过去然后对地球发动大规模入侵 jumps to the past and unleashes an invasion of Earth.
我们还剩下19个小时时间干掉他 We got about 19 hours to kill him.
所以现在我们真的得抓紧了 So, really, we need to go right now.
好吧 All right.
你就这么信了啊 So that's the story you believe.
这是真的 That one was the truth.
可能不全是真的 但是现在只能这样 Wasn't the whole truth, but it'll do for now.
你在说什么 当然都是真的 What are you talking about? Of course it's the whole truth.
问题是 一旦你开始说谎 The problem with a lie
别人就不怎么相信你了 is once you start lying you put yourself...
特工K Agent K.
他怎么还在这里 What's he still doing here?
我审问他太长时间了 送他出去 I might have cooked him too long. Thought I'd walk him out.
我穿裤子了 I put my pants on.
好了 未来人 现在去哪儿 Okay, future man, where to?
我不知道 I don't know.
什么意思 What do you mean?
我不知道 去你上次去的地方 I don't know. Go wherever you went last time.
我还没去呢 我告诉你去哪里了吗 I haven't been here. I didn't tell you where I went?
没有 我们不常交流 No. I mean, we don't really talk.
这是什么搭档啊 What kind of partners sit in
14年来每天都坐同一辆车却不说话 a car every day for 14 years and don't talk?
的确如此 问题就是这么造成的 Exactly. And this is the type of problem it causes.
这太不正常了 It's dysfunctional.
哥们 你最好能赶紧帮上点忙 All right, sport, you better get useful real quick
不然我送你回43号 or you go back in room 43.
不是吧 Man...
档案里好像提到了什么工厂 There was something in the file about a factory.
在工厂里发生了一些事情 Something happened at a factory.
你可以把你招数都使出来 Hey, look, man, you can put your Jedi Knight on me all you want.
但我就知道这么多 That's all I got.
这让你想起什么了 That spark something?
罗曼被杀的时候身上带着这个 Roman had this on his person when he was murdered.
是个火柴盒 It's a matchbook.
不 这是个线索 No, it's a clue.
他不抽烟 He didn't smoke.
你是不是丢了魂魄 二愣子 You lose something over here, Hondo?
没有 No.
伙计 你今年贵庚 Hey, man, how old are you?
29 Twenty-nine.
还真是显老 You got some city miles on you.
我开始明白我们为什么不说话了 I'm starting to understand why we don't talk.
-你怎么知道这个地方 -它很出名 - How well do you know this place? - I know its reputation.
我不喜欢这样瞎打瞎撞 我要我的枪 I don't like it. I hate going in blind. I'm gonna need my gun.
当然可以 小子 Sure thing, slick.
K 等等 我得跟你一起去 K! Wait, no, I gotta go in with you!
老实坐着 我没问题的 You sit tight. I'll be fine.
等等 别 Wait, no! No!
K 别一个人进去 K, don't go in by yourself!
伙计们 Hi, fellas.
我要见老板 Need to see the boss.
他忙着呢 He's busy.
好吧 那我就自己看看了 Well, I'm gonna just take a look around.
看来我们要僵持一下了 Looks like we have ourselves a standoff.
看来是的 Looks that way.
还是把钥匙藏在烟灰缸下面 Still keep the key under the ashtray.
让你猜到了 Lucky guess.
刚才我们谈到哪了 Now, where were we?
我正要告诉你滚开 I was about to tell you to screw off.
小子 你在未来打保龄球吗 Hey, slick, you bowl in the future?
我可是蝉联三届的黑超联赛冠军 MIB league champ, three years running.
那来露一手吧 Well, let's see it.
你不能就这么闯进我的地盘 You did not walk into my establishment
还拧下我的脑袋 and rip my head off!
伙计 我们没多少时间 My man, we don't have a lot of time.
你还是老实交代吧 You really need to tell him something.
我会让你们吃点苦头的 I'll tell him this!
好吧 就用你的头了 All right, your head.
如果你敢扔我的头 Wait. Hey, if you do this,
我不会放过你的 I am gonna hunt you down
我会让你在地球的下半生 and make sure you walk funny for the rest
都过得很惨 of your miserable last days on Earth!
吹牛了吧 小子 Tough spare, slick.
你们惹错人了 You messed with the wrong head!
他的头有点... His head's a little...
你得告诉我们多姆在哪 You gonna tell us where Dom is?
我会杀了你们两个的 你们两个 I'll kill you both. I'll kill both of youse!
球没拿稳是吧 需要我擦擦吗 Your hook's a little off. Want me to clean her?
-当然了 -别 别 - Sure thing. - No, no, no.
我用这玩意儿清理过洗手间 Come on, I just cleaned the bathroom with this thing!
别擦了 别擦了 No cleaning! No cleaning!
好吧 我投降 他在后面办公室 Okay! Okay, all right! All right, he's in the back.
但是他不会和你们黑衣人渣说什么的 But he's not gonna talk to Men in Black scum like you.
把我的头还我 Now give me back my head.
K 我把这个叫低手球 K, I call this one "Low Hanging Fruit."
那个不是球洞 That ain't a finger hole
你这混蛋 you sick bastard!
我会把你的头拧下来 I'll pop your head off
让你也尝尝这滋味 and see how you like it.
我会把你们两个都杀了的 I'm gonna kill both of you!
杀了你们俩 I'm gonna kill the both of youself!
你们两个 I'll kill you both!
我们路线没错 Well, we're on the right track.
只是选错了车 Just the wrong train.
如果他有任何秘密 If he had any secrets...
估计已经被鲍里斯榨出来了 I'm guessing he spilled them.
聪明人会找出受害者的共同点 A smart man figures out what victims have in common.
说得没错 A smart man would.
这电话屁股真大 That's a big-ass phone.
你怎么能把它往脸上贴 Don't put that up to your head.
O探员吗 Agent O.
还好吗 特工K How's your day been, Agent K?
凑合吧 Fair to middling.
你那边怎么样 How are things going?
很好 多谢关心 Very good, thank you.
你们不是一小时前才见过面吗 Hey, you saw her like an hour ago.
找人清理一下宇宙保龄球馆 I need cleanup and containment at Cosmic Lanes.
我们发现了一个被杀的帕拉星人 Listen, I got a dead Parlaxian.
罗曼是巴沃德星人 Now Roman was a Byvoid,
和帕拉星属于同一个星群 correct me if I'm wrong...
我说的对不对 ...from the same planetary grouping?
没错 它们都是三角星系的成员 Yes, a three planet system in the Triangulum Galaxy
被伯格罗蒂特星人悉数消灭了 wiped out by the Boglodites.
那第三个星球是不是 The third planet, wasn't it...?
-格莱美亚星 -格莱美亚星 - Glamouria? - Glamouria.
谢谢 O小姐 Thank you, Miss O.
我知道鲍里斯下面要去哪儿了 I know where Boris is headed to next.
你之前说对了 小子 You were close, slick.
不过不是普通厂房 是"梦"工厂 It's not a factory, it's the Factory.
如果鲍里斯真的在里面 我要杀了他 Look, if Boris turns out to be here, I'm gonna kill him.
把枪给我 I need my gun.
做梦吧你 No deal.
我已经做了14年的探员了 I've been an agent for 14 years.
所以在这个案子上我是老手 Which means I'm the senior agent on this case.
我不想拿职位压你 Now, I hate to pull rank...
但我这是在要求新人 but I am instructing my junior agent
也就是你 立刻把枪给我 这是命令 that's you, to give me my gun right now. That's an order.
不是这个 太空枪 No, no, no, space gun.
不用谢 You're welcome.
我也没说要谢你啊 I didn't say thank you.
这样的丑八怪也能在地球上活得人模人样 For such an ungainly species, they've thrived on Earth.
我是在做探员3年后 I was an agent for three years
才知道这些模特都是外星人 before I realized all models were aliens.
还是通过很崎岖的方式 Found out the hard way.
口令 Password?
听着 60年代土俗的小子 Hey, look, funky '60s dude,
我们没空跟你啰嗦 we don't have a lot of time.
詹尼斯·乔普林 Janis Joplin.
这里有不是外星人吗 Is there anybody here who's not an alien?
很好 Very nice.
眨眼 不错 Blink. That's good.
看镜头 Look in the camera.
那不是安迪·沃霍尔吗 Is that Andy Warhol?
没错 Yep.
打扰了 沃霍尔先生 能借一步说话吗 Excuse me, Mr. Warhol, could we have a minute?
我现在没空 我正在进行中 Now is not a good time. This is a be-in.
就问几个问题 Just a few questions.
不问 不答 No questions. No answers.
我正在进行 Just being.
我们有急事需要问您 We have an urgent matter to discuss with you
关于您这次聚会的一个客人 regarding one of your party guests.
你们下周再来吧 Why don't you come back
等发生的事情 next week, after the happening
发生了以后 has happened.
对不起 沃霍尔先生 Sorry, Mr. Warhol.
您说话速度太慢 但我们时间紧任务重 You like talking slow. We got stuff to do.
有个星球还等着我去救呢 I've got a planet to save.
你好烦人 You're distressing.
我讨厌你 讨厌你的一切 Everything about you upsets me.
该死的K 你要让我身份曝光吗 Damn it, K! Are you trying to blow my cover?
特工W 你的身份安全得很 Agent W, your cover is safe.
什么 安迪·沃霍尔是我们的人 Whoa, Andy Warhol is one of us?
安全什么 Safe?
你疯了吗 我已经无计可施了 You out of your mind? I'm so out of ideas.
现在只能画画罐头 描描香蕉了 I'm painting soup cans and bananas for chris sakes.
沃霍尔先生 你得知道 Actually, Mr. Warhol, I gotta tell you,
我特喜欢你的作品 I love your work.
是吗 谢谢 Oh, thank you.
这个蠢货是谁 Who's the dumb-ass?
您能有点儿职业礼节吗 How about a little professional courtesy here?
-你说啥 蠢货 -再说一遍试试 - What's that, dumb-ass? - Say it again.
-你想听吗 -你敢说吗 - Want me to? - I dare you.
蠢货 Dumb-ass.
两位 Agents.
就算你是名人 You know I have no problem
照样揍得你面目全非屁滚尿流 pimp-slapping the shiznit out of Andy Warhol.
你说什么 What?
你干嘛看我 Why are you looking at me?
那么这样吧 特工K Oh, all right. You know what? Agent K.
何不让你和特工W单独交流一下心得 Why don't you see what information you can get from Agent W
我出去转转 and I'll go case the perimeter.
-这样总行了吧 -行了 - That work for everybody? - Go do that.
-怎么样 -算你识相 - How about that? - Oh, cute.
-是吧 -这就对了 - Okay. - Very nice.
傻不拉几的 Someone forget his nap?
你好吗 帅哥 Hey, how you doing?
好得很 Chilling.
他是谁 Who's that guy?
不会是你的新搭档吧 Don't tell me he's your new partner.
事实上 我们是老搭档 Actually, he's my old partner.
他从未来穿越回来拯救地球 He traveled back from the future to save the planet...
停 别扯了 我不想知道 Jesus, stop, don't tell me. I don't want to know.
安迪 洋子来了 Andy, Yoko's here.
洋子来了 Yoko's here.
告诉她我正在拍吃汉堡的男人 Tell her that I'm filming this man eating a hamburger.
效果太棒了 It's transcendent.
行了 现在换泡菜 All right, now the pickle.
你想在我场子上干嘛 K What are you doing on my turf, K?
追捕一个杀手 来自伯格罗蒂特星 Tracking a killer. Boglodite.
我们认为他下一个目标在这里 We have reason to believe he's gonna hit here next,
是个格莱美亚星人 a Glamourian.
格莱美亚星人 你找对了星系 找错了星球 Glamourian? Right solar system, wrong planet.
他肯定是在找阿卡南人 He's gotta be after the Archanan.
阿克南星人已经死光了 Archanans are extinct.
不可能 上周还有一个被冲上了岸 Apparently they are not. One washed ashore last week.
罗斯威尔那边一直有他们的消息 The whole Roswell circuit's all buzz about it.
是一只外星独角兽 仅存的一只了 Alien unicorn. Last of its species.
他叫格里芬 His name's Griffin.
阿卡南人格里芬 Griffin the Archanan.
你好 How's it going?
好 我好吗 这得看情况 Going? How's it going? That depends.
就我个人来说 一切都很好 For me, personally, it's good, things are good.
但是 几秒钟以后就不好了 Unless we're in the possible future
那个肌肉男跟他的女朋友吵架 where the muscle boy argues with his girlfriend.
她怒气冲冲地离开 She storms off and
撞到端着一盘填馅蘑菇的服务生 bumps the guy with the stuffed mushrooms
他把托盘扣到那个正要离开的水手身上 who dumps the tray on the sailors on leave.
东西一个接一个被推倒 A shoving match breaks out.
然后撞向这张桌子 They crash into the table.
所以我应该把碟子拿走 立刻 In which case, I gotta move my plate like right now.
还有 在我吃了这个熏肉三明治之后 Or it's the future where the pastrami sandwich I'm eating
一阵胃疼 causes me gastric distress.
幸好你朋友给了我他随身携带的胃药 Thankfully, your friend offers the antacids he carries
所以我很好 会很好 in his right pocket, so good. I'll be good.
除非 我两分半钟后就得离开 Except in the future where I have to leave in two and a half minutes
等不到他把药给我 just before he has a chance to offer me the antacids,
因此整体来说 不好 我不好 so on the whole, I'd have to say not good. I am not good.
但还得看情况 But that depends.
K K!
我们怎么才能找到他 How will we find this guy?
别担心 我又不是笨蛋 What am l, a schmuck?
他就在这儿 He's here?
"在这儿"是一种相对的说法 "Here" is a relative term.
他是第五维空间的高级生命体 He's a fifth dimensional being.
他们可以以各种不确定的形态存在 They can live in and visualize an infinite set
在不同的时空同时出现 of time-space probabilities simultaneously.
真有意思 干得好 Sounds like fun. Good work.
等等 K Whoa, whoa, K, K, K.
你得把我弄"死" 退出卧底 懂不 You gotta fake my death, okay?
我再也受不了西塔琴的聒噪了 I can't listen to sitar music anymore.
好吧 我尽量 我会跟X说的 All right, I'll see what I can do. I'll talk to X.
K 我根本分不清他们是男是女 K, I can't tell the women from the men.
我能看看你的表吗 May I see your watch?
现在是7:18 Oh, it is 7:18.
不是这个 你爸爸给你的那个 No, no, your other watch, the one your father gave you.
你怎么知道那个表的 How do you know about my father's watch?
完了 Oh, dear.
这说明罗曼已经死了 This is the one where Roman is dead
保龄球馆的那个人也死了 死了这么多人 and the gentleman at the bowling alley. So much death.
成功的几率无穷小啊 Such an infinitesimal small chance for success.
K K!
你是格里芬吧 Griffin, right?
我们来这儿 We're here--
因为孽畜鲍里斯 Because of Boris the animal.
我们认为他要 Correct. We think he's coming--
来杀我 两分钟以内 To kill me. He'll be here in two minutes
除非 unless we're in
他一路冲过来 没遇上一个红灯 the possible future where he made all the lights unbarring
提前到达此地 and got here early and is just about
站在门口就开火 to discharge weapon from the doorway
那样的话 我们两秒钟后就会死光光 in which case we're all dead in two seconds.
太好了 差一点儿 Good, that was a close one.
K 太空枪给我 K, I need a space gun.
伯格罗蒂特星人 The Boglodites
杀人毁星 无恶不作 consume any planet in their path.
我的星球 罗曼的 帕拉星人的 Mine, Roman's, the Parlaxians'.
我试着阻止他们 I tried to stop them,
如果我们这次成功了 but if we stop them here,
让他们在地球上铩羽而归 if we deny them Earth...
自绝而亡 我们就能一劳永逸 we can stop them forever. They'll starve before
阻止他们危害其他星球了 they reach the next planet.
还剩63秒 Sixty-three seconds.
那我们该怎么办 如何阻止 How do we do that? Stop them?
什么 What?
抱歉 我有东西要给你们 Sorry. I have something for you.
一个礼物 它会保护你们 A gift. It can protect you.
鲍里斯一直不知道它的存在 I had to hide it from Boris,
不过得等到下次见面的时候 but if you find me again
我再把它交给你们 I'll give it to you.
谢谢 比赛棒极了 厉害 真是奇迹 Thank you. What a game! Amazing! It's a real miracle!
什么意思 什么奇迹 What do you mean? What miracle?
30秒 我得走了 Thirty seconds. I have to go.
不行 你走不了 No, we got you.
我们纠缠得越久 负面效应就越大 Negative possibilities are multiplying as we speak.
-知道了 -20秒 - Okay. - Twenty seconds.
好吧 All right.
有我们呢 别担心 We got it, relax.
如果你的表坏了 我又吃了熏肉 If your watch is broken and I have gastric--
飞吧 自由地飞翔 Fly! Find your place in the world!
天哪 Oh, dear.
鲍里斯就要从那扇门进来了 This is the one where Boris is coming through that door
12秒 in 12,
11 10 11, 10,
等一下 Wait!
你今早是不是喝了巧克力奶 Did you have chocolate milk this morning?
没错 Yes.
辛迪 Cindy.
K K!
-格里芬跑了 -交给我 - Griffin! - Got him.
该死 Damn it!
我没事 没事 I'm good, I'm good.
你怎么样 What you got?
该死 让他跑了 Damn it! We had him!
冷静 科奇斯 我们会找到他的 Relax, Cochise. We'll find him.
声明一下 我的名字叫J 明白吗 First of all, my name is J, okay?
不是什么 孩子 小子 It's not "Son," It's not "Slick".
更加不是科奇斯 And it damn sure ain't no "Cochise."
我怎么能冷静得下来 I'm not gonna relax
没时间了 又找不到别的线索 because we're running out of time, we are runninng out of clues
入侵者就要来了 and there's an invasion coming.
你难道没听出我声音里的紧张感吗 You're not really recognizing my voicial intensity.
本来有个人能帮我们的 But there was one guy who could help.
格里芬 格里芬呢 Hey, Griffin! Griffin! Where's Griffin?
格里芬 格里芬哪儿去了 K Griffin. Where's Griffin at, K?
消失了 He's gone.
如果鲍里斯在我们之前找到他 就完了 If Boris gets to him before we do, that's no bueno.
我们需要吃点东西 We need pie.
-什么 -我爷爷总说 - What? - My granddaddy always said,
当你面临难题焦头烂额之时 "If you got a problem you can't solve,
吃个派 可以帮你找到解决方法 it helps to get out of your head." Pie.
-派 -没错 -Pie? -Yeah.
你爷爷 很壮的那个 Your granddaddy, heavyset man?
-有一点儿 -是啊 你看 - A little bit. - Yeah, you know what?
咱们一直都行事明智 We've been doing smart stuff.
顺着蛛丝马迹 做好本职工作 We've been following clues, doing real police work.
的确也该干几件蠢事了 It might be time we do something stupid.
来做点毫无意义的废动作吧 Something that ain't got nothing to do with nothing.
我还真想吃几个派 K 我的确想吃 Now, I want some pie, K. I want some pie.
咱们就傻乎乎地吃派去吧 Let's go get dumb-ass pie.
好主意 Sounds good.
有什么特别推荐吗 Have any specials?
他还是只会点那几样 He'll have the same thing he always
就算他盯着菜单看个10分钟 has after he reads the menu for 10 minutes
就算他问完两遍特别推荐 and asks about specials twice.
给他一份苹果派 再加一份切达干酪 A slice of apple pie with a nasty piece of cheddar.
我要一个草莓大黄派 I'll have the strawberry-rhubarb.
这是我最后一顿了 我得多吃点儿 Since it's my last meal, I'm gonna splurge a little bit.
超级连环杀手逍遥法外 World-class serial killer out there
我们却在这里吃派 and we're having pie.
你平常都干些什么啊 紧张男 What do you do in your spare time, stretch?
我觉得你没有深入理解吃派的真谛 See, I sense you're not embracing the concept here.
心诚派才会显灵 Pie don't work unless you let it.
我的心很诚了 I'm gonna let it.
那你怎么不愿意开口聊呢 And you say we don't talk?
你先来 问什么问题都行 随便问我 You go ahead. Ask me any question. Anything you want.
只要跟案件无关的都行 放马过来吧 As long as it doesn't have to do with the case. Just let her rip.
你跟O什么状态 What's up with you and O?
我和O Me and O?
没错 你们俩 Yeah, you and O.
行啊 行啊你 All right, all right.
好吧 听好了 All right, this is it.
从前 我接到任务监视一个音乐家 A while back, I was assigned to keep tabs on a musician.
米克·贾格尔 Mick Jagger?
他是一个英国乐队的主唱 滚石 He's in this British band, the Rolling Stones.
有点儿印象 Rings a bell.
我们认为他来地球是为了繁衍后代 We believed he was on the planet to breed with Earth women.
所以我去了伦敦 在那里遇到了O So I was in London and that's when I met O.
她很聪明 风趣 笑起来很美 Just smart. Funny. A great smile.
后来我们就去了一个酒馆 就是个酒吧 And we find ourselves in this pub, which is a bar, all right?
里面的啤酒是温的 食物难吃到死 Warm beer and the worst food you ever ate.
我们在那里玩飞镖 一直玩到天亮 We just played darts till the sun came up.
谁也不想走 Neither of us wanted to leave.
你们到底发生了什么事 老兄 What the hell happened to you, man?
不知道 什么都还没发生呢 I don't know. It hasn't happened yet.
你呢 小子 Come on, what about you, slick?
你在未来有女朋友吗 In the future, you got yourself a girl?
我有你 I got you.
真不敢相信 没用的大都会棒球队 I cannot believe this, freaking New York Mets.
一群痿货 Total losers!
做大都会的球迷真不容易啊 It's a rough time to be a Mets fan.
是啊 永远赶不上小熊 Tell me about it. Never gonna catch the Cubs.
说来有趣 大都会其实在今年是赢家 That's funny. The Mets actually win it all this year.
是吗 Oh, yeah.
真的 No, I'm serious.
我也觉得是 I'm sure.
三个月之后 坐那儿的那位仁兄 Look, three months from now, your buddies down there...
就会叫他们为神奇大都会 are gonna be calling them the Amazing Mets
惊异大都会 and the Miracle Mets.
怎么了 What?
有什么不对吗 伙计 What you got there, hoss?
那个阿卡南人说 真神奇啊 The Archanan said, "It's amazing!
这是奇迹 比赛时候见 It's a miracle! I'll see you at the game."
我知道他在哪了 I know where he is.
早就说过要相信派嘛 Told you to trust the pie.
如果格里芬要来看比赛的话 If Griffin's here for a game,
他来的要么太早 要么太晚了 he's either too early or too late.
他在这儿 He's here.
我们只需赶在鲍里斯之前找到他 We just gotta find him before Boris does.
该把你的东西给你了 It's time to give you your things back,
老搭档 partner.
吃了点儿派怎么还变粘糊了你 You get some pie in you, you get all mushy.
我只是不想再帮你拿东西了 I'm just tired of carrying your stuff.
加油啊 好样的 冲啊 Come on now! All right! Let's go,
大都会 Mets!
冲啊 大都会 冲啊 Let's go, Mets! Let's go.
-大都会 冲啊 大都... -格里芬 - Mets! Let's go, Met... - Griffin?
时间刚刚好 You're just in time!
除非罗宾森那一记 Unless this is the one where
三垒球出现重大失误 大都会赢定了 Robinson bad-hops it past third, it's almost over.
我们错过什么了吗 Are we missing something?
快来看比赛 The game.
你就是这样预知未来的 神了 So this is how you see things? This is amazing.
你是站着说话不腰疼 不过还是有好处的 It's a gigantic pain in the ass. But it has its moments.
比赛要等到十月份才开始 This game doesn't happen till October.
十月 It's always October
十一月 还有明年三月 and November and March.
那么多未来发生的事 都是真的 So many futures, and all real.
我只是不知道会碰上哪一些 Don't know which will coalesce.
但时候一到 都会发生 Until then, they're all happening.
像这个 我最爱的人类历史一瞬间 Like this one, it's my favorite moment in human history.
所有的一切都聚合到一起 All the things that had to
推动大都会赢得世界职棒冠军 converge for the Mets to win the World Series.
他们在之前的每一个赛季 They were in last place
都是垫底 结果他们赢得了比赛 every single season until they won it all.
你说你有个礼物要给我们 You said you had a gift.
那个在第五场里 That baseball
最后扔出的棒球 thrown for the last out of game five,
是斯伯丁公司62年的产品 manufactured in '62 by Spalding factory
产于马萨诸塞州奇科皮市 of Chicopee, Massachusetts,
它在飞行中存在缺陷 was aerodynamically flawed
因为有块马皮在打磨时出了问题 due to the horsehide being improperly tanned
因为打磨师的老婆谢拉在那个周日 because Shella, the tanner's wife left him
跟波多黎各的高尔夫球员跑了 for a Puerto Rican golf pro that Sunday--
礼物 The gift?
对对对 在盒子里 Oh, yes, of course. In the box.
是个惊喜 帮你们保护地球 It's the surprise. To protect the Earth.
是保护网 It's a shield.
保护网 Shield.
阿卡南人 天网 Archanan. Arc Net.
就凭这个 你布置了天网 That's what you did. You put up the Arc Net.
怎么布置 How?
球扔向戴维·约翰逊 When that ball is pitched to Davey Johnson
他之所以打棒球 who became a baseball player
是因为他爸爸 because his dad couldn't
找不到一个足球给他当八岁生日的礼物 find a football to give him for his 8 birthday,
球打在球棒上 it hits
就高了两微米 his bat two micrometers too high
迫使球飞向克里昂·琼斯 causing him to pop out to Cleon Jones
他本来应该是个女孩克拉拉 who would've been born Clara,
一个统计打字员 如果不是他父母 a statistical typist, if his parents
那天晚上上床前没有多喝那一杯酒的话 didn't have an extra glass of wine that night before going to bed.
奇迹 A miracle
看起来不可能 实际上总会发生 is what seems impossible but happens anyway.
我失去了我的家园 I lost my planet.
我不希望这一幕在你们身上重演 I don't want you to lose yours.
保护地球需要奇迹 It'll take a miracle,
但如果你们能把它发射成功 but if you pull this off
那一瞬间将成为 you'll be my new favorite moment
人类历史上我的新爱 in human history.
完了 Oh, dear.
我忘记预测这一刻了 I forgot to see this one coming.
糟糕 Damn it!
未来有这些吗 Have these in the future?
没有 No.
上来 Get on.
保持罗盘零点位置 Keep gyro settings at zero gain.
将倾斜度和偏航值平衡围绕中心杆 Balance pitch and yaw with bursts on the center stalk
设定力度在80到100单位之间 between 80 and 100 psi.
你说的那些 I didn't understand
我一窍不通 any of that!
-罗盘归零 -没错啊 - Gyro at zero gain. - lt is.
倾斜度和偏航值平衡围绕中心杆 Pitch and yaw with short bursts on the center stalk.
我绕了 I did!
设定力度在80到100单位之间 Between 80 and 100 psi!
明白了 Got it.
把天网给我 The Arc Net! Give it to me!
现在还不你得到它的时候 I don't think this is the one where you get it!
-还好吧 头儿 -当然了 - All right there, chief? - Hell, yeah.
要是有4个轮子就好了 It'd be better with four wheels!
最少也得是2个轱辘吧 Two is, like, my minimum.
如果鲍里斯得到了天网会怎样 What happens if Boris gets the Arc Net?
伯格罗蒂特入侵 地球会彻底毁灭 Boglodite invasion, total destruction of Earth!
给我盒子 The box!
乖孩子 Good boy.
我们得阻止他 We gotta stop this guy!
我正想办法呢 I've been trying!
难道你不是吗 You haven't been trying?
喂 小子 Hey, slick.
在未来咱们还跳德州两步舞吗 In the future, we ever do the Texas two-step?
明白了 长官 Yes, sir!
打中他了吗 Did you get him?
让我瞧瞧 Give me a sec.
他死了吗 Is he dead?
没有 Negative.
逃走了 He got away.
救了格里芬就行 咱们走吧 I got Griffin. Let's get out of here.
昨日重现啊 I feel younger already.
枉你身上还流着伯格罗蒂特人的血液 You pathetic waste of Boglodite flesh.
你若不是我自己 早就被我杀了 I'd kill you right now, if I didn't value my own life.
-你是谁 -看看你自己 - Who are you? - Look at you.
我所犯下的每一个错误 Every mistake I've ever made,
都将在你身上出现 just waiting to happen.
我的手臂怎么了 What happened to my arm?
被一个人类打断了 You lose it, shot off by a human.
没有哪个人类能够战胜我 No human could defeat me.
接下来的40年 你都会像个动物一样 You spend the next 40 years in prison,
被关在监狱里 chained up like an animal.
没有哪个监狱能够关住我 No prison can hold me!
他们在月球上专门为我们造了一个 They built one especially for us, on the moon.
人类还没登上月球 No human has been to the moon,
更不可能在那儿造监狱 so they cannot have built it there already.
闭嘴 听我的话就能避免这一切发生 Stop arguing! You can avoid all of that if you just listen to me!
被打败的是你 被打断胳膊的也是你 You were defeated! You let it get shot off!
不是我 是你 That wasn't me, that was you!
你有什么计划 What's your plan?
阻止他们布置天网 Prevent the Arc Net from being deployed.
-杀掉任何要这么做的人 -好计划 - Kill anyone who tries. - Good plan.
不过没用 Didn't work.
只有在我的帮助下 With my help,
我们才能拿到天网 杀掉特工K we'll get the Arc Net, kill Agent K,
入侵地球才会成功 The invasion will be successful,
才能保住我们的胳... and we'll get to keep both of our ar...
别再瞪着它看了 Stop... staring at it!
听着 Listen.
没事吧 You all right?
谢谢你们救了我 Yeah. Thank you for saving my life.
本职工作嘛 It's what we do.
天网还在你手上吗 You still have the Arc Net?
当你被孽畜鲍里斯追杀的时候 When you're being hunted by Boris the Animal,
藏东西的能力也会突飞猛进 you get good at hiding things.
它能够拯救你们的世界 This will save your world.
它被发射到大气层外后会变大很多 Once it's outside the atmosphere, it gets a whole lot bigger.
你们只需要将它送上天就行 All you have to do is deploy it.
送到太空里 怎么做到呢 You mean in space? Well, how do you suppose we do that?
只需要一小步 It's just one small step.
登月计划 The moon launch.
卡纳维拉尔角 Cape Canaveral.
1969年7月16日 July 16th, 1969.
6小时内我们得赶到佛罗里达州 We got six hours to get to Florida.
该走了 小子 Better get a move on, slick.
等等 别慌 Wait, hold up.
不行 这次我得一个人去 Not us. I'm gonna do this one alone.
他得亲自去... He has to be the one...
格里芬 Griffin.
什么叫一个人去 What do you mean, alone?
我去佛罗里达 你待在这里 I'm gonna go to Florida. You gotta stay here.
这次你得相信我 I need you to trust me on this one.
相信你 没门 Trust you? I don't think so.
有什么瞒着我的就直说吧 小子 Something you're not telling me, slick?
反正不准去佛罗里达 I'm telling you that you're not going to Florida.
不可能 搭档 That ain't gonna happen, partner.
K 抱歉 这次我真不能让你去佛罗里达 Look, K, please, I will not allow you to go to Florida.
说服我吧 Stop me.
你会死在那儿 You die there!
卡纳维拉尔角 阿波罗计划 Cape Canaveral. Apollo launch.
你在那里被鲍里斯杀死了 Boris kills you there.
这也是我穿越的原因 That's what I'm here for.
我回来就是为了阻止这一切的发生 That's what I came back to stop.
天哪 原来我是在这个时空里 Oh, dear. We're in this one.
K 我找过所有的文件档案 K, I saw the file, I looked at the report.
我说过我不会瞒着你 I said I told you everything...
这一拳是为你瞒着我而打的 That's for lying to me.
真的很抱歉 伙计 Look, I'm sorry, man!
这一拳则是因为告诉我真相打的 That's for telling me the truth!
我只是想保护你 伙计 I'm trying to protect you, man!
最苦涩的真话也比最甜蜜的谎言要好 The bitterest truth is better than the sweetest lies.
他得和你一起去卡纳维拉尔角 He has to go to Cape Canaveral.
布置天网的只能是他 He must deploy the Arc Net as he did before.
没别的办法 There's no other way.
K是拯救地球唯一的希望 K is the only hope in saving Earth.
那我能救他吗 Can I save him?
我到底有没有救他的机会 Is there any future where I save his life?
有 Yes.
但注定的死亡总会在注定的时空中发生 But where there is death, there will always be death.
这么说来 我已经这么干过一次了 According to you, I've done this before.
所以布置天网是可行的 So we know it's possible.
你要有平时吹嘘的一半本事 If you're half the agent you say you are,
那就在我行动的时候保护我别被杀掉 you'll make sure I don't get killed doing it.
咱俩真的是好搭档吗 证明一下 So are we partners? You tell me.
出发吧 Let's go.
K特工 你还好吗 Agent K, how are you?
我很好 I'm good.
有什么话一边办正事一边说吧 Okay, group hug on the way to doing what we're doing.
今天早上 人类将 This morning, man is about to
进行探月计划 launch himself on a trip to the moon
并尝试登陆月球 with the expectation of landing there.
告诉我 Look, I gotta ask you.
等解决了这个问题 结案之后 If we pull this off, fix things the way they were.
我和O会不会... O and I, are we...?
一个智者曾告诉我 A wise man once told me,
不要问那些你不想面对的问题 don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to.
-是我说的吧 -是的 - I said that, didn't I? - Yes, sir.
我们到了 Here they are.
-这是什么 -火箭飞行器 - What are they? - Jetpacks.
火箭飞行器 Jetpacks?
不不不 我们不坐飞行器过去 No, no, no. We're not doing jetpacks.
这玩意在未来被淘汰是有原因的 There's a reason we don't have these in the future.
K 咱们开车过去吧 K, we gotta drive.
5个小时不够从曼哈顿开车去佛罗里达 Can't drive to Florida from Manhattan in five hours, chief.
够 用超黑警车上标配的红钮就行 Yeah, we can. The red button, standard issue in every MIB car.
按下红钮 就能进入极速模式 Press the red button, goes into hyperdrive.
那玩意儿还没发明出来呢 小子 No red buttons yet, slick.
真是要命 Come on, man.
知道这破玩意儿怎么使吗 Do you know how to work this stupid thing?
没什么特别之处 It's like with anything.
扣好皮带 剩下的就听天由命了 Just have to strap yourself in, hope for the best.
对吗 O小姐 Isn't that right, Miss O?
很抱歉 就是这样 Unfortunately, it is.
准备好了吗 小子 You ready, slick?
去搞定它吧 Let's get it.
肯定会十分有趣的 This is gonna be interesting!
距离阿波罗11号 It's just minutes to the
史诗般的发射只有几分钟时间了 historic launch of Apollo 11
到目前为止一切顺利 with all going well.
真庆幸没有进入半路爆炸的时空 I'm so glad this isn't one of the times we explode.
爆炸的时空 One of the times?
有人来了 Oh, we got company.
这什么玩意儿 The hell?
腰带式蓄电池 Is that a battery belt?
还是我来吧 All right, I got it.
不行 每一个成功布置护罩的时空里 No, any reality that gets the shield deployed is one
你们都得实话实说 where you tell the truth.
实话实说 The truth?
照实说是唯一的方法 The truth is the only path.
这里是禁区 This is a restricted area!
是的 长官 Yes, sir, it is.
你们好 先生们 Good day, gentlemen.
今天对美国来说真是意义重大的一天 Great day for America, isn't it?
我是特工J 这位是特工K 那位是格里夫 My name is Agent J. This is Agent K. That's Griff.
我们隶属于一个机密政府组织 We're from a secret government organization
其主要负责管理 that polices and monitors
外星人在地球内外的各种活动 alien activity on and off planet Earth.
事情是这样的 Here's the thing.
我们得把这个格里夫给我们的 We have this special little metal thingy
特别的小铁块 that Griff gave us
放在火箭的顶部 that we have to get on top of that rocket
来阻止外星人入侵 to prevent an alien invasion.
会相信才怪 That worked.
-等着瞧 -长官 四号门有情况 - Like a charm. - Sir, Delta Gate. We have a problem.
抓住三个身份不明携有武器的入侵者 Three trespassers. No lDs, but they've got weapons, sir.
这些武器我可从未见过 Some kind I've never seen before.
你们敢在人类史上最重要的一天 What breed of fool do you have to be
跑到我的地盘上来撒野 to penetrate my site on the day of the most massive feat
真是吃了熊心豹子胆了 attempted by mankind?
在上帝 世界人民 Watched by God, the population of the planet
还有我儿子的注视之下 and my own firstborn!
上校 Colonel?
上校 这是他们身上找到的 Colonel, they had these.
他们说要把某物放在火箭上防止外敌入侵 They said they needed to put something on the rocket for an invasion.
谢谢 Thanks.
还有10分钟就要发射了 I got 10 minutes to launch.
你们要是知道什么有关火箭的隐情 If you pose a threat to that rocket,
请立马照实告诉我 you tell me now and do not lie to me.
当菜我是照实说的 I told the truth last time.
长官 这个人从未来回来保护我 Sir, this man came here from the future to protect me,
这样我才能将一个护罩 so I can attach a shield
附在火箭顶端以拯救世界 to the top of that rocket and save the world.
需要您的帮助来完成这件事 I need your help to do that.
把他们关进监狱 Take them to the brig.
这没用啊 格里夫 You're slipping, Griff.
长官 请允许我让您看看 Sir, if I may.
下士 Corporal.
你和你的人可以走了 You men are no longer needed.
我亲自押送这些犯人 I'll take the prisoners.
-长官 您... -解散 - Sir, are you... - Dismissed.
跟我来 Follow me.
你展示未来 给他看了什么 You did the future thing. What did you show him?
他需要看的部分 Only what he needed to see.
我得走了 I have to go now.
什么 不 一起来吧 What? No, no, no. Come on.
接下来就没我的事了 You don't need me anymore.
格里夫 我可没工夫和你扯淡 All right, Griff, don't start flipping on me.
当鲍里斯的胳膊被打断后 When Boris' arm is taken,
一切就会回归原样 K也会活下来 the past will be as it was. K will survive.
他不会记得你曾回来帮过他 He will not know you were ever here.
打断胳膊 布置天网 就像系统还原一样 All right. Arm gone, got it. Like a reset?
搞定以后回到你的时空就行 When that happens, go home. Leave.
小子 该走了 Hey slick, you coming?
马上 Yeah, all right!
谢了 伙计 咱们还会见面吗 Thanks, man. Hey, will I ever see you again?
一切皆有可能 Anything's possible.
格里夫 Oh, Griff.
我每次都不忍卒视这一部分 I can never bear to watch this part.
阿姆斯特朗和奥尔德林拟定 Armstrong and Aldrin are scheduled
于东部夏令时的周一清晨 to set foot on the moon
踏上月球 on early Monday morning, Eastern Daylight Time.
格里芬哪儿去了 Where's Griffin?
忙自己的事去了 Doing his own thing.
先生们 Gentlemen.
电梯能载你们到楼顶 This elevator will take you to the top.
要将天网发射到大气层外 To get the Arc Net outside the atmosphere
你得把它绑在航天舱前面的分离火箭上 you need to strap it to the escape rocket above the capsule!
切记要在火箭发射前离开 You do not want to be anywhere near this rocket when it takes off!
还有问题吗 Questions?
没了 谢谢 上校 No. Thank you for this, colonel.
你们的工作很伟大 Some job you got there.
谢了 哥们儿 Hey, thanks a lot, bro.
格里夫刚才给你看了些什么 What did Griff show you back there?
他让我知道了你们有多重要 He show me how important you are.
你和你搭档 You and your partner.
要是一切顺利的话 Hey look, if everything goes right the way we hope it does
可能我最后得不辞而别 I'm gonna end up getting out of here pretty quick
这样我就没机会给你说再见了 so I'm not gonna have a chance to say a proper goodbye.
要是不顺利的话你同样没机会说 If things go wrong, not gonna have a chance to, either.
死活都是一拼 豁出去算了 So I guess win or lose, this is it.
我知道为什么招募你了 I see why I recruited you.
你这人不错 You're a good man.
很不错 Good man.
伙计 你这是怎么了 Man, what the hell happened to you?
还没到说这些的时候呢 I told you, it still hasn't happened yet.
我来对付这个 I'll take this one!
臭小子 Naughty.
伙计 你真该抽空去做做美甲 Man, get a pedicure if you get a second.
你也该学学飞行 And liftoff.
现在进入两分钟倒计时 Just passed the two-minute mark in the countdown,
所有数据监控正常 and all is still go as we monitor our status board.
宇航员报告情况正常 能源传送完毕 Astronauts report it feels good. Power transfer is complete.
尼尔·阿姆斯特朗回报 倒计时顺利 Neil Armstrong just reported back it's been a smooth countdown.
鲍里斯 来帮我一把啊 Boris, can you give me a hand?
听见我喊你了吗 You hear me calling you?
孽畜鲍里斯 Boris the Animal!
叫我鲍里斯 It's just Boris!
你输定了 You're gonna lose.
我可不这样认为 Let's agree to disagree.
孽畜鲍里斯 Boris the Animal!
右 Right.
左 Left.
你输定了 You're gonna lose.
我可不这样认为 Let's agree to disagree.
孽畜鲍里斯 Boris the Animal!
右 Right.
左 左 Left. Left.
右 Right.
这不可能 That's not possible.
我可不这样认为 Let's agree to disagree.
不可能 That's not possible!
K K!
我赢了 我比未来的自己要强 I win! I'm better than me!
不愧是我的搭档 That's my partner.
现在报告总部的话他们肯定会取消发射的 If we call this in, they'll scrub the launch.
我啥也没看见 I didn't see anything.
-你搭档呢 -回他的时空了 - Where's your partner? - He went home.
-怎么回去的 -我也不知道 - How does that work? - You got me.
快来 Come on!
卧倒 Get down!
搞定 Bingo.
伙计 这可真是高科技 Man, that is some next-level stuff.
想了解更多的话 You ever want to see more,
我知道有个机密组织 I know a top-secret organization
愿意招募你这样的人员 that could use a man like you.
乐意之至 I wish I could.
谢谢 Thank you.
咱们未来见 K I'll see you around, K.
小心 Look out!
来吧 Go ahead.
逮捕我 Arrest me.
这次不会了 Not this time.
注定的死亡总会在注定的时空中发生 "Where there's death, there will always be death."
爸爸 爸爸 Daddy! Daddy!
我叫K 你叫什么名字 Hey, my name's K. What's your name?
詹姆斯 James.
詹姆斯 好名字 James? That's a nice name.
我爸爸呢 Where's my dad?
你手里拿的是什么 What have you got there? What is that?
爸爸给我的 My dad gave it to me.
我们在给火箭倒计时呢 We timed the launch.
我爸爸哪儿去了 Where is my daddy?
他... He....
他有一些特别的事要忙 He went to go do something very special.
他嘱咐我待在这照顾他最好的哥们儿 And he wanted me to stay here and take care of his best pal.
那他多久回来呢 When is he gonna be back?
他... He....
詹姆斯 James...
看这里 If you look right here,
我告诉你你唯一需要记住的事 I will tell you the only thing you ever need to know.
你爸爸是个英雄 Your daddy is a hero.
我爸爸是个英雄 My daddy is a hero?
-想去散散步吗 -好的 - Want to take a walk with me? - Yes.
詹姆斯 James?
这个由梦筑成的钢筋混凝土的城市里 Concrete jungle where dreams are made of
你可以随心所欲 Theres nothing you can't do
因为你现在身处纽约 Now you're in New York
街道会让你感觉焕然一新 These streets will make you feel brand new
灯光将启迪你 The lights will inspire you
这就是纽约 纽约 纽约 Lets here it for New York, New York, New York
你迟到了 You're late.
抱歉 搞错时间了 Sorry. Lost track of time.
你怎么会唱这首歌 How do you know that song?
喝你的咖啡吧 我们还有活要干呢 Drink your coffee. We got work to do.
你现在到底知道什么 不知道什么 What do you know and what do you don't?
我怎么知道自己不知道什么 How do I know what I don't know?
问得好 昨晚咱俩是不是去吴园酒家吃饭了 That's a really good question. Did we go to Wu's last night?
是的 Yeah.
伯格罗蒂特人呢 Boglodites?
绝迹40年了 Extinct for 40 years.
很好 昨晚咱俩通电话了吗 Perfect. Did we talk on the phone last night?
你挂了我电话 You hung up on me.
是的 我挂的 Yeah, I did.
那是因为宇宙还有未知的秘密 But that was because of all those secrets the universe doesn't know about.
不过昨晚确实是漫长的一夜 But I've realized that last night was a long long time ago.
对了 我还是想说谢谢你 And, really, I just want to say thank you.
这是我的义务 It's been my privilege.
其实现在很有可能 You know, there's a really high possibility now
我知道一些你不知道的事 that I might know some things you don't know.
不信 I doubt it.
我知道了你和O之间发生了什么 I bet I know what went down with you and O.
她是个贤惠的女人 不过你懂规矩的 She's a fine lady, but you know the rules.
特工之间不能调情 There's no fraternizing amongst agents.
不过你还是和她调过一两次情 I think y'all might have fraternized a time or two.
这是人类历史上我的新爱时刻 This is my new favorite moment in human history.
除非在这个时空里K忘了给小费 Unless this is the one where K forgot to leave a tip.
差点忘了 Almost forgot.
好险 That was a close one.
-祝你好运 J -这个星球没救了 - Good luck, J! - This planet's toast.