是的 我保证一拿到结果就给你打电话 Yes, I promise I'll call you as soon as I get the results.
是的 我知道医院是滋生传染病的温床 Yes, I am aware that hospitals are a hotbed of infection.
谢你了 曼尼 Thank you, Manny.
几周前 我的心脏出了一点小状况 A couple of weeks ago, I had a minor heart incident.
我好得很 I am fine.
但为了安全考虑 我要去做个血管造影 But just to be safe, I'm having an angiogram,
也就是说他们会输入一种染色剂 which is when they inject a dye
以确保没有栓塞 to make sure there's no blockage.
不是什么大事 It's--it's no big deal.
-我们毫不担心 -不担心 - We're not worried. - No.
如果真出了什么事 虽然肯定不会 If something were to happen, which it's not...
不会出事的 Not gonna.
我会把我们的卧室改造成供奉克莱尔的灵堂 I would turn our bedroom into a shrine to Claire.
把这间房改造成魔术大厅 And this room into a hall of magic.
卢克 别再拆小家电了 Luke, please stop taking appliances apart.
-我在做东西 -你在毁东西 - I'm making something. - You're unmaking something.
-因为我今天要递交辞呈 -等等 什么 - 'cause I'm giving my notice today. - Wait. What?
我们难道不喜欢已经抹上黄油的烤面包吗 But wouldn't we rather have toast that's already buttered?
我就爱你问这种稀奇古怪的问题 I love that you're asking these kind of questions.
如果弹簧能够更强力一点 If only the springs were stronger,
面包片就可以被发射到黄油罐中 the toast would be catapulted into the pool of butter.
超强力的弹簧 Really strong springs,
比如你床垫里的那种吗 like the ones in your mattress?
你真是醍醐灌顶 You're unbelievable.
什么叫你不干了 What do you mean you're quitting?
你们经理刚让你负责 Your manager just started letting you
早上开门和晚上关门 open and close the store.
那太无聊了 It's boring.
珍妮弗说我可以在珠宝店得到一份工作 And Jennifer said that I could get a job at the jewelry store.
宝贝 你必须学会持之以恒 Honey, you need to learn to stick with things.
你刚把钥匙拿到手 You just got the big keys.
咖啡壶哪儿去了 Where's the coffeepot?
你是说即将改造完成的咖啡机器人吗 Oh, you mean the soon-to-be coffee bot?
-卢克 -我今天需要咖啡因提神 - Luke! - I need caffeine today.
你可以喝果汁 You can have juice.
你昨晚在那个派对玩到多晚 How late were you at that party last night?
拜托 她10点就溜回家了 Oh, please. She snuck in at 10:00
然后整晚都用手电筒躲在被子里读书 And spent all night reading under the covers with a flashlight.
艾丽克斯 我不是说让你 Alex, what have I told you
要在宵禁时间之后再回家吗 about staying out past your curfew?
-我需要再多玩几次 -对极了 - I need to do it more often. - Exactly.
你得学会享受乐趣 You need to learn to have some fun.
你要和妮可一起参加春假旅游 You are going on that spring break trip with Nicole.
不 不行 我不能去 No! No, I can't.
我得为高考预考做准备 I have to study for the P.S.A.T.S.
卢克 菲尔 快教育一下你的孩子们 Luke! Phil, talk to your children.
好吧 大家都给我听好了 All right. Everybody listen up.
海莉 你不能说不干了 Haley, you're not quitting.
你要说辞职 那好听一点 You're resigning. It sounds better.
-不对 -艾丽克斯 你可以把整个春假 - No. - Alex, you have all of spring break
都用来将自己锁在屋子里看书 to lock yourself in your room and study.
不 不 不 不对 No, no, no, no, no.
卢克 咖啡机器人是不可能成功的 And, Luke, coffee bot is a non-starter.
但我很喜欢你提出 But I do like the idea
把玉米粒放进煎饼面糊里 of popcorn kernels in the pancake batter...
那样它们就可以自动翻边了 So they self-flip.
别说了 Stop talking!
离我的孩子们远些 Step away from the children.
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翻译：威廉 萌馱 Ethan-泽生 3CC醉芝士
时间轴：菜六水 校对：Ethan-泽生 后期&总监：瓜瓜
摩 登
家 庭
第四季 第十九集
曼尼 Manny?
我在夸你长得帅 I am telling you how handsome you are.
下次直接用英语说好了 Oh. Well, next time, tell me in English
那样我就不会错过了 So I don't miss it.
你的西班牙语都快忘光了 你从来不练习 You're forgetting all your Spanish. You never practice.
"原谅我 妈咪 我有了" Perdoname, mami, soy embarazada.
你刚是在说你怀孕了 You just told me that you're pregnant.
恭喜呀 你散发着母性的光辉 Congratulations. You're glowing.
不是吧 你就穿成这样 Really? That's what you're wearing?
不是吧 你对你的"饭票"这么无礼 Really? That's how you talk to your meal ticket?
再说 那些势利眼也不会在乎我穿什么 Besides, those snobs don't care what I wear,
只要我带上支票簿就行 as long as I bring my checkbook.
今天我要去德莱顿学院进行一场面试 Today I have an interview with the Dryden academy.
那是附近最有威望的预科学校 It's only the most prestigious prep school around.
他们的校歌有36句诗 Their school song has 36 verses,
我全都掌握了 and I know all of 'em.
准备好 Settle in.
为什么你不带他去 And the reason you're not bringing him?
他说我让他紧张 He says that I make him nervous,
说我关心则乱 that I care too much.
现在我都不能带他去理发了 That's why I'm not even allowed to bring him to his haircuts anymore.
我从没上过私立学校 I never went to private school.
我甚至大学都没读完 Hell, I never even finished college,
但你瞧瞧我 我刚吃的丹麦糕点要6美元 And look at me. That danish I just ate cost 6 bucks.
我都没眨一下眼 I didn't even blink.
我一直觉得在公立学校格格不入 I've always felt out of place in public school,
就像洋葱地里开出的一朵矮牵牛花 like a lone petunia in an onion patch.
你觉得格格不入 You felt out of place?
我来让你了解一下预科学校的学生们吧 Let me tell you something about your prep school buddies.
我年轻的时候 曾干过一份工作 When I was younger, I had a job
是在乡村俱乐部帮人挂衣帽 checking coats at a country club.
那些自大的富二代得意地走进去 These smug rich kids used to waltz in there
直接把大衣扔到我身上 就像我是奴隶一样 and throw their coats at me like I was nothing.
那时候高级面料还没有诞生 That was before your high-tech fabrics.
那些大衣重死了 They weighed a ton.
你看到这个疤痕了吗 You see that scar?
那不是你在战场留下的吗 The one you got in the war?
那是我对外人的说法 That's what I tell people.
我被一件巴宝莉粗呢大衣的棒形纽扣击中了 I caught the scalloped edge of a burberry duffel coat toggle.
我现在也不确定有没有残片留在里面 Still not sure there isn't a piece in there.
如果你允许 孩子们总会 Kids will always want to quit
在遇到困难的时候就不想干了 when things get hard if you let 'em.
那姑娘可是被大学赶出来了 This is a girl who was kicked out of college.
她好歹也该再坚持坚持 The least she can do is stick it out at a little--
-菲尔 -抱歉 - Phil? - Sorry.
听着 我们应该给海莉一些时间 Look, all we can do is give Haley the time
让她认清自己 to find out who she is.
或者我们省下那点时间 Or we could save that time,
我直接告诉她她是怎样的一个人 and I could tell her who she is.
一定要记得告诉我结果如何 Let me know how that works out.
你说什么 Excuse me?
抱歉 我的电视坏了 Oh, sorry, but my TV doesn't work,
我只能观赏你们的好戏了 and you're all I've got.
-我叫诺曼 -很高兴见到你 诺曼 - I'm Norman. - Good to meet you, Norman.
你是因为什么入院的 What are you in for?
-做分流手术 -太牛了 - Triple bypass. - Awesome.
你似乎很赞同我教育子女的方法嘛 And it sounded like you were agreeing with my parenting style,
所以请您老继续说吧 So, please, continue.
我养了三个孩子 Well, I've raised three kids,
我学到的最重要一点 and the main thing I learned is
就是让他们保持真我 you have to let them be who they are.
谢谢你 诺曼 Thank you, Norman.
虽然他在幕布后面 并不代表他是巫师 Just because he's behind a curtain doesn't make him a wizard.
爸 我给你做了这个项链 Dad, I made you this necklace.
有助于疾病痊愈 It's good for healing.
那毫无科学依据 爸 There's no scientific evidence to back that up, dad.
-我老公是个医生 -我有三个学位 - I married a doctor. - I have three degrees.
女儿们 你们的小弟呢 Girls, where's your little brother?
他没把胳膊卡在自动贩卖机里吧 He didn't get his arm stuck In a vending machine again, did he?
你看出来了吗 Are you getting this?
是的 听上去就跟我们家孩子一样 Yes. They sound just like our kids,
他们都一起来探望父亲 And they all got together to visit their dad...
他显然把儿女教育得很成功 who apparently did a pretty good job raising them.
得了吧 他听上去就跟老嬉皮士一样 Please. He sounds like an old hippie.
一个睿智 富有洞察力的老嬉皮 A wise, insightful, old hippie.
像大明星杰夫·布里奇斯那样的嬉皮 A Jeff Bridges hippie.
-爸 -宝贝儿子来了 - Hey, dad. - There he is!
瞧那身笔挺的西装 Look at that sharp suit.
天啊 卢克变得好威武雄壮 Oh, my god, Luke gets huge.
你见过啊 You've seen this.
我穿过这身去参加安琪拉的婚礼 I wore it to Angela's wedding.
是啊 就跟我为小乔纳森做的那件一样 Yeah. It's just like the one I had made for my little jonathan.
好了 邓菲太太 Okay, Mrs. Dunphy.
-你该做术前准备了 -好吧 - Time for your prep. - Okay.
你瞧见了父母如果不干预孩子的发展会怎样吧 See what happens when parents get out of the way?
婚礼 宝宝 笔挺的西装 Weddings, babies, sharp suits.
你可能得推她去烧伤病房 You might want to wheel her by the burn unit.
她的信心刚刚被灼伤了 She just got scorched.
慢着 你给乔纳森做了一套西装 Wait. You made a suit for Jonathan?
他是只猫啊 He's a cat.
他是只无毛流浪猫 需要西装保暖 He's a hairless stray. He needs the suit for warmth.
你懂那种感觉的 You know, that thing.
每一任丈夫最后都抛弃了你 All of your husbands eventually stop feeling for you.
我不是来被你羞辱的 I did not come here to be insulted.
我是来看望老爸的 I came here for dad.
老爸 我需要500块 Dad, I need $500.
你怎么会缺钱 你有四份离婚协议书啊 How can you need money? You have four divorce settlements.
对 抱歉我不是空虚寂寞冷的驱魔人 Yeah, sorry I'm not some sad, lonely exorcist.
是档案管理员 我是档案管理员 Archivist. I'm an archivist.
拜托 吵死了 Ugh. This arguing.
我还不如在法庭待着 I might as well have just stayed in court.
一定要是名律师 一定要是名律师 Please be a lawyer. Please be a lawyer.
结果怎样 How'd it go?
-缓刑期 可以释放 -行啊你 - I got probation plus time served. - Suck it!
看来你不会再用肉钩 Well, maybe now you'll stop
从电网偷电了哟 siphoning electricity off the grid with a meat hook.
嘿 看着我 Hey, look at me for a second.
当你在床上孤独地死去 When you die alone in your bed,
乔纳森会啃光你的肉 Jonathan's going to eat you.
没错 Yep.
莉莉 闺蜜日开始咯 Lily! Time for girls' day!
我们一直在努力 确保莉莉 We've always tried to make sure that
在成长过程中受到女性的熏陶 Lily has a feminine influence in her life.
我敢说 她周围整天都是阳刚之气 Because I'm sure it is so difficult for her
她一定很不容易 to be around so much masculine energy all the time.
没错 而且最近 Yeah, and recently, uh,
她总问一些关于女性身体的问题 she's been asking a lot of questions about the female body.
再说 And...
我们也不是很懂 Uh, we are not exactly experts,
所以我们 把媚手给我放下 So we d--just sit on 'em.
我们决定让大人物出场 We decided to call in the big guns.
你好 Hola.
嗨 歌洛莉亚 Hi, Gloria!
莉莉等不及要开始闺蜜日了 Lily is so excited for girls' day.
是的 但别霸占她整个下午 Yeah, but don't keep her all afternoon.
你知道我们会多想她 You know how we miss her. Mm-hmm.
好的 Okay.
我什么时候才会长出真正的乳房 When am I going to get real boobs?
算了 你们想玩到什么时候都行 Okay, so we'll see you whenever.
没错 你们尽情去玩吧 Absolutely. You know, just have a really great time.
走 妈妈带你去玩 Vamos, mami, vamos.
我们去逛逛街 So we'll do a little shopping,
做个美美的指甲 We can have our pretty nails done...
还有美美的发型 And our pretty hair.
-你觉得有趣吗 -有趣 - Do you think that's fun? - Yeah!
你知道闺蜜日最棒的环节是什么吗 And you know what the best part of having a girls' day is?
那就是你可以问我任何问题 That you can ask me anything you want.
你知道我是同性恋吗 Did you know I'm gay?
真是幸运 This is lucky.
2点时 学校获奖的编钟乐手 At 2:00, the school's award-winning bell players
将会演奏内战时期的饮酒歌合辑 will be performing a medley of civil war drinking songs.
他们怎么称呼那节目 《郁闷时光》吗 What do they call that? Unhappy hour?
有意思 Interesting.
本校在1901年建立时 是所男子学校 This was an all-boys academy when it was established in 1901.
幸好他们摒弃了这个传统 Thank god they went away from that tradition, huh?
是 我敢说这里现在成了"撒欢场"了 Yeah. I bet the place is one giant orgy now.
杰 别这样 Jay, please.
嘿 你要拿件外套吗 Hey, do you want to grab a coat?
自己的外套自己拿 大学生 Grab your own coat, college boy.
我是说让你穿一件 Uh, I meant for you.
他们要求全程都穿上校服 They want us all to wear a school blazer for the tour,
完整体验德莱顿文化 Get the whole Dryden experience.
没错 抱歉 哥们儿 Right. I-I'm sorry, buddy.
嗨 家长们 隐形的北欧人 欢迎 Hello, parents, perspective Norsemen. Welcome.
我们的旅程将从这个方向开始 Our tour will begin this direction
可以看到我校知名的马术中心 with a view of our renowned equestrian center.
一下子让我回到40年前 It took me right back to 40 years ago--
有各种特权的懦弱预科生 Candy-ass preppies with too many privileges.
知道我最讨厌他们什么吗 You know what I hated most about those guys?
他们的鼻子都很小 They all had these little noses.
那是怎么回事 What is that?
请看左边 世界一流的坎贝尔天文台 To your left, the world-class Campbell observatory.
当然了 如果你喜欢好莱坞那种明星 Now, of course, if it's stars of the Hollywood kind that you like,
我们获奖无数的剧院就在这边 our award-winning theater is just here,
今年六月 where this June
妮可·基德曼将在这里出演《野餐》 Ms. Nicole Kidman will be appearing in "Picnic."
好吧 我就勉强承认吧 Okay, gun to my head,
我当年或许是有些嫉妒那些家伙 maybe I was a tiny bit jealous of those guys back then,
嫉妒他们的车 他们高级的美发用品 with their cars and their fancy hair products--
你们的发油和艾伯特牌发胶 Your brylcreems and your vo5s.
现在我们休息一会 大家可以自由参观 We'll now take a short break, where you're free to explore
我校的珍本图书馆 the treasures of our rare book library.
你知道我们学校图书馆的珍本是什么吗 You know what was a rare book in my school library?
一本没有被画满生殖器的书 One that didn't have genitals drawn all over it.
我骗谁呢 Who am I kidding?
我当年就想要那些富家子所拥有的 I wanted what those kids had then,
40年之后 我仍然想要 And 40 years later, I still wanted it.
曼尼 把跟图书馆有关的介绍写下来 Manny, write down what they said about the library.
他们很有可能面试时问你这些 They're liable to ask you about that in the interview.
抓紧时间 别错过编钟演出了 And get the lead out. We don't want to miss the bell players.
借过 Excuse me!
她还那么小 But she's so young.
你们真觉得她已经... Do you really think that she already--
我5岁时就确定性取向了 I knew when I was 5.
-你5岁时大家都看出来了 -不对 - Everybody knew when you were 5. - Not true.
直到我给自己办了 Not everyone knew until
第二场5岁生日派对才天下皆知 I threw myself my second 5th birthday party.
拜托 莉莉不是同性恋 Come on, Lily is not gay.
那或许是因为她处于懵懂期 It's probably just a phase.
我的天啊 我怎么说出口的 Oh, my god. Did I just say that?
别告诉任何人我这么说了 Do not tell anyone I just said that.
我穿好毛衣了 可以走了吗 I got my sweater. Can I go now?
过来 宝贝 坐着 Here. Yeah, sweetie. Have a seat.
想象下这是个草堆 Oh. Imagine if this was a hay bale,
她穿着草裙 And she was wearing a prairie skirt.
简直是往事重现啊 It would be a total flashback.
和我们坐一块 Stay with us.
歌洛莉亚跟我们说了你今天说的话 Um, so Gloria was telling us about something that you said.
说你是同性恋 Something about you being gay?
那又怎样 What about it?
真强势 我就说说 Okay, very aggressive. Just saying.
我们只是在想 Um, w-we're--we're just wondering, you know,
为什么你要那么说 why did you say that?
因为我是同性恋啊 Because I'm gay.
可为什么你认为自己是同性恋呢 宝贝 But why do you think you're gay, sweetie?
我们在学校学了 We're learning about it in school.
我朋友奥尔多的父母是意大利人 My friend Aldo's parents are Italian,
所以他也是意大利人 so he's Italian.
而你们是同性恋 所以我也是 And you and daddy are gay, so I'm gay.
首先 真是可爱啊 First of all, adorable.
但事实不是这样的 But that's not how it works.
当奥尔多说他是意大利人时 When Aldo's talking about him being Italian,
他是说他遗传了意大利人的血统 he's talking about his heritage.
那和同性恋完全不是一码事 Yeah, and that's a totally different thing than being gay.
遗传就是 See, heritage is, uh...
就是你生来就有的 Well, it's something that you're born with,
我的老天爷啊 我怎么了 And--oh, my god. What's wrong with me?
至于你的遗传 你不是同性恋 And with respect to your heritage, you're not gay.
你是越南人 You're Vietnamese.
那是什么 What's that?
越南是个美丽的国度 Well, Vietnam is a beautiful country,
靠近中国 And it's near China.
那个国家出名的东西有 Uh, it--it's known for, uh...
农田 以及各种... Its--its farms, with all of the, uh...
-水牛 -对 水牛 - Uh, water buffalos. - Water buffalo.
还有单车 莉莉 那里到处都是单车 And... Bikes. Lily, there are bikes everywhere.
那里真的好多单车 好多好多 Oh! There are so many bikes. So many bikes.
人们骑着单车来来往往 People are biking around. And, uh...
他们都戴着帽子 And then--and they're wearing hats.
帽子 他们戴着美丽的太阳帽 Hats. They have these beautiful sun hats.
弧形的帽檐 That swoop.
我可以去玩了吗 Can I go and play now?
去吧 可以 老天啊 Please. Go. Yes. Yes, gosh. Would ya?
爱你哦 Love for you to.
你们对她的文化就只知道这点吗 Is that all you know about her culture?
不 我们保留了一些 No. I mean, w-we're-- we're saving
等她长大再告诉她 some of the things until she gets older to tell her about.
我想说风车和郁金香 I-I wanna say the windmills and the tulips?
别 Don't.
难怪她有那么多问题 No wonder she has so many questions.
她不知道自己是谁 She doesn't know who she is.
好吧 那确实是我们的疏忽 Well, I guess we kind of dropped the ball.
要我说 我们就别去做什么指甲了 You know what? Forget the pretty nails.
我们去找家越南菜馆 We are all going to a Vietnamese restaurant,
让她尝尝自己民族的文化 and we are gonna give her a taste of her culture.
附近哪家越南菜馆最好 Which one is the best restaurant around here?
-估计是西贡菜馆吧 -有叫小店叫啥来着 - I wanna say Saigon. - There's little, um...
你们一无所知 You know nothing.
我查查大众点评 I'll look in the Jelp.
-谢谢 -不客气 - Thank you. - You're welcome.
我们走吧 老妈快到了 Hey, we should go. Mom's gonna be here soon.
你们不如留在这儿跟她打个招呼吧 Why don't you stay and say hello?
她很想见你们的 She'd love to see you.
怎么 她想趁机指挥我怎么过日子吗 Why? So she can tell me how to live my life?
就是 我的缓刑监察官会"关照"我的 Yeah, I've got my probation officer for that.
等她过生日再见吧 还有啥重要节日吗 We'll see her on her birthday. When's the next important one?
我知道这不关我事 但是 I know it's none of my business, but...
你们的妈妈也许是不想你们犯错 Is't possible that your mom doesn't want you to make certain mistakes
因为她实在很关心你们 'cause she cares?
天呐 你说话跟她一模一样 Oh, my god. You sound just like her.
我们闪吧 Let's roll.
海莉 你不准辞职 Haley, you are not quitting your job.
你从哪儿冒出这么一句 Where is this coming from?
从未来 你的未来啊 It's coming from the future-- your future--
真是太挫了 And it ain't pretty.
我不明白 我将来长挫了吗 I don't understand. In the future, I'm not pretty?
不 你保养得不错 但你的行事风格 No, you'll hold up okay. But this path you're on,
凡事都半途而废 再另寻新欢 flitting from one thing to the next,
只会给你无数的前夫 让你变成烟鬼 it ends in a pile of ex-husbands and nicotine fingers.
-轮到我说了吧 -不行 - Can I talk now, dad? - No!
喂 Hello?
艾丽克斯 你不必跟妮可出去旅游 Alex? You don't have to go on that trip with Nicole.
你想宅在家学习多久都行 You can study as much as you want.
你要知道 妈妈爱你 Just know that I love you.
好啊 Okay.
海莉 你听仔细了 你现在很危险 Listen to me, Haley. You are dangerously close
一不留神就会走上一条不归路 to getting on a path you can't get off of.
爸 别吼了 Dad, stop yelling.
妈 别哭了 我知道自己不是书呆子 Mom, stop crying. I know I'm not a big nerd.
给你 妈找你说话 Here, mom wants to talk to you.
爸找你说话 Dad wants to talk to you.
-喂 -喂 - Hello? - Hello?
艾丽克斯 快订票 Alex, book down,
把头发梳得漂漂亮亮的 run a brush through your hair.
你必须跟你朋友旅游去 You're going on that trip with your friend.
什么 What?
海莉 我爱你 Haley, I love you.
你如果不想在那店里干活 If you don't want to work in that store,
我一定帮你找份喜欢的好工作 I'll help you find something you like better.
你这是在搞反向心理战术吗 Is this reverse psychiatry?
不 宝贝 妈妈不说反话 No, honey. Actually, nothing is.
我只是想你开心 I just want you to be happy.
妈 你别吓我啊 Mom, you're freaking me out.
你俩吵吵啥呢 Why is everyone screaming?
-给你 -给你 - Here! - Here!
我是卢克 This is luke.
爸妈怎么这么异常啊 Why are mom and dad acting so cracy?
不知道 这也太吓人了 I don't know, but it's creepy.
肯定有什么不对劲 Something's going on.
你觉得这跟妈的心脏病有关吗 Do you think it has to do with mom's heart thing?
搞不好她的病其实比他们说的严重许多 Like it's more serious than they're saying?
-我们得去医院 -天呐 天呐 - We have to go to the hospital. - Oh, my god! Oh, my god!
好啦二位姐姐 淡定 Okay, everybody, calm down.
现在已知的情况是 Here's what we know.
老妈只是去医院做个小手术 Mom had to go to the hospital for a simple procedure.
然后爸妈都打给我们 并且言行怪异 Then mom and dad start calling us, acting weird.
擦亮双眼吧 Open your eyes, people.
他们是被绑架了 They've been kidnapped.
招生办公室
既然都参观完了 我们可以把这衣服脱了吧 Well, now that the tour's over, we can probably take these off.
不着急吧 I don't see the rush.
待会面试 你脑筋一定会转的飞快的 And you gotta be mentally sharp for your interview.
感觉如何 How you feeling?
感觉良好 Pretty good.
父母是可以在里面旁听面试的 You know, parents are allowed to sit in,
但你要是不想进去 but if you don't feel like it...
开什么玩笑 我可不能错过 Are you kidding me? I wouldn't miss it.
此刻是一切辉煌的起点 This is where it all starts.
你好像开始喜欢这地方了 杰 Sure seems like you've come around on this place, Jay.
我怎能不喜欢 这地方棒极了 How could I not? This place is unbelievable.
我已经开始想象俱乐部里的那些穷屌丝 I'm already picturing those jerks at the club
仰慕我儿子穿着帅气的德莱顿校服闪亮登场 seeing my son walk in wearing a dryden jacket.
曼尼·迪尔加多 Manny Delgado?
我想说的是 I-I guess what I'm trying to say is,
我喜欢读书 I like books for reading them.
你能详细说说吗 You care to elaborate?
那当然 Indeed.
你看过电影里的慢动作镜头吗 Did you ever see one of those slow-motion movies
一座赌场从内而外地爆炸 where they destroy an old casino,
火光四射 轰然倒塌 and it just implodes?
就是这感觉 That.
你最喜欢的作家是谁 So who are your favorite authors?
可多了 That's a long list.
首先是那谁 叫什么来着 I'd probably have to start with...
使劲来一拳试试 Go ahead. Hard as you can.
真好吃 So good.
我想吃芝士汉堡 I want a cheeseburger.
这可是越南的"草"汤 But this is a special soup called pho.
你还说不准说脏话呢[操] You told me not to say that word.
好吃极了 这可是你们民族的美食呢 It is delicious. This is the food of your people.
还需要些什么吗 Can I get you anything else?
其实嘛 我们正在给我们女儿 Actually, um, we're just trying to teach our daughter
介绍你们国家 about your country.
我这样说 其实私心希望你是越南来的 And as I'm saying that, I'm hoping you're from Vietnam.
我在那儿出生 I was born there.
莉莉也是 Uh, so was Lily.
那是个美丽的国家 Oh. It's a beautiful country.
我家里人还住在那儿 Um, my family still lives there.
我恨越南 I hate Vietnam!
莉莉 宝贝 我们不能仇恨 Lily, honey, we don't hate.
我恨越南 I hate Vietnam.
不好意思 我们得教育一下她 Okay, um, we need just a second.
莉莉 这样不礼貌 Lily, that was rude.
我想回家 I wanna go home.
不 敬仰自己祖宗的文化是很重要的 No. It's important that you celebrate the culture of your ancestors.
你是越南人 You are Vietnamese.
我不是 我是同性恋 我是同性恋 No, I'm not. I'm gay! I'm gay!
宝贝 你不是同性恋 你只是困惑而已 Honey, no, you're not gay. You are just confused.
天呐 我这是怎么了 感觉好像... Oh, my god. What is wrong with me? It's like I...
别误会 我们有一堆女同性恋朋友 Oh, please. We have tons of lesbian friends.
你怎么不跟人解释说我们俩也是同性恋 Odd that you would reference our friends and not us.
-我错了错了 -我们也是同性恋哦 - I know. I know. - Also gay.
-我们走吧 -不准走 - We should just go. - No, nobody's going anywhere
她把汤喝完了才准走 until she finishes the whole soup!
算了歌洛莉亚 没关系 No, Gloria, it's fine.
-我们不想逼她 -不行不行 不能算了 - We don't wanna push her. No, no, no, it's not fine.
这就是这个国家的问题所在 That's the problem with this country.
大家都不认祖归宗了 Nobody cares where they come from.
大家都只吃芝士汉堡 上预科学校 They just want cheeseburgers and prep school,
他们都忘了祖国哥伦比亚 And they have forgotten about Colombia!
好吧 我不禁觉得 Okay, I can't help but feel
你刚刚说的那些问题 that maybe you're bringing something to the table
好像不全跟莉莉有关 that's possibly, uh, not at all about Lily.
你说得对 I think you're right.
这感觉就像 万恶的美帝国夺走了我的孩子 It's just that I feel like I'm losing my children to America.
他们长大后 They're just going to grow up
都会变成无聊的白人老头儿 and become boring old white people.
别误会 我们大部分朋友都是白人 Uh, most of our friends are white, actually.
好吧 大家都冷静点儿 Uh... Okay, can everybody just calm down
大家都该干嘛干嘛去吧 and go back to their own conversations?
谢谢啦 Just... Thank you.
嘿 你怎么了 Hey. Hey, what's going on with you?
曼尼都快把西班牙语忘光了 Manny has forgotten most of his Spanish,
而乔甚至根本不会去学 And Joe--I'm sure he's not even going to learn it.
我知道这很傻 但我就是不喜欢 I know this is silly, but I just don't like
自己跟家里的其他人完全不同 feeling like I'm so different from the rest of my family.
噢 小可怜 Oh, honey.
-太孤独了 -慢着 - It feels so lonely, yes. - Oh, wait just a second.
莉莉 你是因为这个才想做同性恋的吗 Lily, is that why you want to be gay,
这样更像大爸二爸吗 to be more like your daddies?
宝贝 不 就算我们三个来自不同的地方 Oh, honey. No, the three of us are a family
我们依然是一家人 even though we come from different places.
你出生在越南 You know, you were born in vietnam,
我在城市长大 and I grew up in a city,
尽管你大爸没说过 and even though he never talks about it,
其实他是在农场长大的 your daddy grew up on a farm.
是的 Yeah.
重点是 我们是一家人 The point is, is that we're a family
是因为我们彼此深爱着 because we love each other.
-知道了 -你知道吗 - Okay. - And you know what?
你刚刚在餐厅引发了一场闹剧 You just caused a scene in a restaurant...
这是最像你大爸二爸的地方 and you can't get any more like your daddies than that.
也许这个暑假 Maybe I'll just take Manny and Joe
我应该带曼尼和乔去哥伦比亚 to Colombia this summer.
我觉得这是个好主意 I think that's a great idea.
我真心觉得经常接触自己的根源 I really think that keeping in touch with your heritage
只会丰富我们的文化 only enriches our culture.
绝对的 我觉得如果大家都是从哪儿来 Absolutely. I think we would all be better off
回哪儿去 我们的日子会好过很多 if people would go back to where they came from.
我 I...
-我把车开过来 -好的 - I'll pull the car around. - Yes.
我能想到的全是和妈妈在一起的美好时光 All I can think about are the good times I had with mom.
到时候谁来陪我走红毯 Who's gonna walk me down the aisle?
别瞎想了 Stop spinning out.
想象这些恐怖的未来没什么意义 There's no point in imagining some horrible future.
亲爱的 Hey, buddy.
你成功了 You made it.
你在天堂 You're in heaven.
-不好笑 -好吧 - That's not funny. - Okay.
咚咚咚 Knock, knock.
算了吧 她没心情开玩笑 Don't bother. She's not in the mood for jokes.
检测结果很好 Your results are great.
血小板是最低值 你的心脏很健康 Minimal plaque. Your heart is strong.
谢谢 真是好消息 Thank you. That's such good news.
继续吃药 Well, keep taking your medication,
-你会活得比我们都长 -谢谢 - you'll outlive all of us. - Thanks.
亲爱的 你挺过来了 Honey, you nailed it.
你没有担心 对吗 You weren't worried, were you?
没 No.
我也没担心 Me, neither.
我还没抱够 I wasn't done with that.
我也是 Me, neither.
老天 你的头发在香烟里泡过吗 God, do you soak your hair in cigarettes?
你的衣服是用眼泪洗得吗 Do you wash your clothes in tears?
我得回家了 室友需要这双鞋子 I have to get home. My roommate needs these shoes.
怪胎 Weirdos.
卢克 别这么刻薄 我今天无法承受 Luke, don't be so mean. I can't take it today.
可能我现在就要姐兼母职了 I may be your sort of mom now...
我自己都还是个孩子 and I'm practically a child myself.
好了 大家冷静 Okay, let's calm down.
妈可能没事 Mom could be fine.
拜托 如果没事他们不会这样失常 Oh, come on. They wouldn't be freaking out if they were fine.
对 因为爸妈从来不会无缘无故地大惊小怪 Right, 'cause mom and dad never freak out over nothing.
他们不会 他们是完美的 They don't. They're perfect.
还记不记得爸那次换工作 Remember the time when dad was switching jobs,
妈把我们的垃圾食品全扔了 and mom threw away all of our junk food?
那完全是另一回事 That was completely different.
不不 这是一回事 No, no, actually, it's not.
他们不知道如何处理自己的事情 They don't know how to deal with their stuff,
所以就拿我们开刀 so they obsess over us.
也许这次也一样 对吗 Maybe that's all this is, right?
真不敢相信我有多放松 I can't believe how relieved I am.
我也是 我在给孩子们发短信 Me, too. I'm just texting the kids.
到了一定年纪 "可能没事" It's like at a certain age, "It's probably nothing"
就会变成 "可能没事...吧?" becomes "It's probably nothing."
好像他们把"40岁"用斜体标出来了 Like they add italics at 40.
好消息是 Well, the good news is...
现在的情况让我们越来越亲"近" These situations just bring us closer and closer together.
顺便说一下 你一直表现得很冷静 By the way, you did a great job of keeping your cool.
我不想吓坏孩子们 Well, I didn't want to scare the kids.
你的表现也不赖 You did a pretty good job yourself.
谢谢 Thanks.
我有个秘密 I have a secret.
什么 What's that?
我们是优秀的父母 We're pretty good at this parenting thing.
我想是的 I think we are.
吻我 Kiss me.
我试试吧 I'm gonna try.
"妈没事" "Mom ok"?!
你们是有史以来最差劲的爹妈 You guys are the worst parents ever.
每次都这样 It's the same every time!
你们只要有一个遭遇到麻烦问题 One of you guys goes through something stressful,
你们不是积极面对 而是把我们吓得半死 and instead of dealing with it, you freak out on us.
辞职吧 别辞职 "Quit your job," "Don't quit your job"?
多看书 少看书 "Read more," "Read less"?
能不能做个像样的大人 Be better at being adults!
卢克 我们走 Come on, Luke. Let's go!
你不再是我妈了 不过没关系 You're not my mom anymore, but okay!
15年后再看看还有没有脸用这种眼光看我们 Save the judgey looks for another 15 years.
刚才那是怎么回事 What the hell happened in there?
不知道 我以前从未这样卡住过 I don't know. I've never choked like that before.
你觉得肯定没戏吗 You think it's a definite no?
你可是指着院长儿子的照片 Well, you pointed to a picture of the dean's son
问她的预产期是什么时候 and asked when she's due.
没错 Right.
抱歉让你失望了 杰 Sorry I let you down, Jay.
我 Me?
我看出来这对你有多重要 I saw how much it meant to you.
就好像我在橄榄球场上 It's like I was on the football field.
你在看台上 为我骄傲 为我加油 You were up in the stands, all proud of me, rooting me on.
我不习惯 我失败了 I'm not used to that. I just whiffed.
我根本就不适合橄榄球比赛 That's not even the right sport.
我为什么要怪你 Why am I trying to blame you?
可能你应该怪我 坐下 Probably 'cause you should be. Sit down.
我想我是希望把40年前 I think I put some stuff on you that...
有着小鼻子浓密头发的家伙的一切 is about some guys 40 years ago
强加在了你身上 with tiny noses and perfect hair.
我没听懂 You're losing me.
我只想让你明白一件事 There's only thing I want you to understand.
如果今天是你第一次 If today was the first time
感到我为你骄傲 you've felt that I was proud of you,
那我应该道歉 then I should be apologizing,
因为我每天都为你感到骄傲 'cause I'm proud of you every day.
谢谢 杰 Thanks, Jay.
走吧 Let's go.
我真的跟他打赌 Did I really bet him
我可以把他的手机放进我嘴里吧 I could fit his whole cell phone in my mouth?
别再提他了 你不会再见他了 Forget about that guy. You're never gonna see him again.
这可不好说 I'm not sure about that.
在这里等着 Wait here.
-玉米粒放好了吗 -好了 - Kernels in? - Check.
-只放了右边吗 -是 - On the right side only? - Check.
你知道这是最后的面糊吧 You know this is the last of our batter, right?
我们已经到绝路了 Our backs are against the wall.
制作自翻薄饼的最后机会 Last chance at mastering the self-flipping pancake.
你是说"爆薄饼"吧 You mean "Popcake."
我想的是"弹弹饼" I was thinking "Flipjack."
太棒了 Oh, of course!
好了 It's okay.
好吧 Okay.
就是这个了 我有预感 This is the one. I feel it.
如果成功了 几个世纪后 If this works, centuries from now,
会有人把这个挖出来 someone's gonna dig one of these things up
纳闷这到底是什么东西 and wonder what the heck it is.
五 四 5... 4...
三 二 3... 2...
弹 Flip!
弹啊 该死的 Flip, damn you!
-结束了 -没有 -结束了 - It's over. - No, it's not! - It's over!
没事 It's all right.
就这样放在烤盘上吧 We left it all out there on the griddle.
我们伺机再战吧 We live to fight another day.
我想是吧 Yeah. I guess.
真不敢相信浪费了这么多面糊 I can't believe we wasted all that batter.
不打碎一些鸡蛋 Ah, I guess you can't make an omelet
怎么能做成煎蛋卷呢 对吧 without breaking a few eggs. Am I right?
不行吗 Or can we?
去杂货店 To the grocery store!