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校译： 七色九天 双语合成： 七色九天
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基本原则 Basic principles:
没有女人会在醒来的时候说 No woman wakes up saying:
"上帝 我希望今天我不会坠入情网" "God, I hope I don't get swept off my feet today."
那么 她可能会说 Now, she might say,
"对我来说现在真的不是个好时机" "This is a really bad time for me."
或者是 Or something like,
"我只是需要一些空间" "I just need some space."
或者是 我个人最喜欢的一句 Or my personal favorite:
"我现在真的正在为我的事业打拼" "I'm really into my career right now."
你相信吗? You believe that?
连她自己都不相信 知道原因吗? Neither does she. You know why?
因为她在对你说谎 这就是原因 Because she's lying to you, that's why.
你明白我的意思吗? 说谎 You understand me? Lying.
时机不是不好 It's not a bad time for her.
她不需要任何空间 She doesn't need any space.
她也许是为了事业打拼 She may be into her career,
但她真正的意思是 but what she's really saying is,
"现在离我远点" "Get away from me now."
或者也可能是: "再努力点 笨蛋" Or possibly, "Try harder, stupid."
可到底是哪个呢? Well, which one is it?
人类60%的交流都是不出声的 60% of all human communication is nonverbal.
肢体语言 Body language.
30%的交流靠语调 30% is your tone.
也就是说你所表达的东西 So that means that 90% of what you're saying
90%都不是靠你说的话 ain't coming out of your mouth.
托比 托比 Toby! Toby!
妈的! Shit!
当然她会对你说谎 她是个好人 Of course she'll lie to you. She's a nice person,
她不想伤害你的感情 she doesn't wanna hurt your feelings.
她还能说什么呢? 她甚至还不认识你...暂时的 What else is she gonna say? She doesn't even know you. Yet.
幸运的是 事实上就像我们所有人一样 Luckily, the fact is that just like the rest of us...
即使是一个漂亮女人 也不知道自己想要什么 even a beautiful woman doesn't know what she wants
直到她看到她想要的东西之后 until she sees it.
这就是我的切入点 And that's where I come in.
我的工作就是让她睁开双眼 My job is to open her eyes.
托比! Toby!
噢 我的上帝! Oh, my God!
你是在找它吗? Is this what you're looking for?
基本原则 Basic principles:
无论何时 无论何人 无论何种状况 No matter what, no matter when, no matter who...
任何男人都有可能 让任何女人坠入情网 any man has a chance to sweep any woman off her feet.
只是需要合适的网 Just needs the right broom.
片名:《全民情敌》
你不能用你没有的东西 You can not use what you do not have.
所以如果你害羞 那就羞涩 如果你活泼 那就活泼 So if you're shy,be shy. If you're outgoing,be outgoing.
- 我不活泼 - 没关系 -I'm not outgoing. -That's okay.
她可能不想知道全部的真相 但她确实想认识真正的你 She may not want the whole truth,but she does want the real you.
她可能不想立刻看到一切 She may not want to see it all at once,
但她确实想看 but she does want to see it.
所以今晚 So tonight,
当你在想自己该说什么 when you're wondering what to say,
外表如何 或者她是否喜欢你的时候 how you look, or whether not she likes you...
只要记住 她已经在和你约会了 just remember, she is already out with you.
这意味着她在可能回答"不"的时候 却说了"是" That means she said yes when she could have said no.
这意味着她在完全可以把你踢开的时候 That means she made a plan
却制定了一个计划 when she could have just blown you off.
这意味着你的任务不再是 So that means it is no longer your job
让她喜欢你 to try to make her like you.
而是你不要把它搞砸了 It is your job not to mess it up.
鞋非常酷 你去了我推荐的那个地方 对吗? The shoes are hot. You went to the place I told you?
是的 不过我真的觉得这不是我 Yeah, but I don't think they're really me.
"你" 现在是个很不固定的概念 "You" is a very fluid concept right now.
你买了这双鞋 You bought the shoes.
这双鞋你穿起来不错 You look great in the shoes.
那就是我所说的"你"了 That's the you I'm talking about.
今晚的关键是 "保持镇定" The key tonight is hang back.
给她足够的空间 Give her plenty of space.
如果她在一张照片前徘徊 继续走 If she lingers at a photograph, move on.
不过要在看得见的范围之内 But maintain the visual.
今晚的温度是18度 天气晴 It's supposed to be 64 and clear tonight.
那么当你们离开俱乐部的时候 走上一小段路 So when you leave the club, walk a little.
问问她对刚才表演的感受 Ask her what she thought about the show...
她最喜欢哪张照片? 为什么喜欢? what was her favorite photograph, why that one.
当她回答的时候 不要看着她的嘴 And when she answers, don't be looking at her mouth.
不要想像她裸体的样子 Don't be wondering what she looks like naked.
倾听她说了什么 然后回应 Listen to what she is saying and respond.
倾听然后回应 倾听然后回应 Listen and respond. Listen and respond.
这样的话 当轮到你说话的时候 That way, when it's your turn to talk,
你就有比"我喜欢你的嘴" 更合适的话可讲 you'll have something better to say than, "I like your mouth."
你最喜欢哪张? What was your favorite one?
那个大象 非常不错 The elephant, definitely.
然后突然的 我们就有了第二次约会 And all of a sudden, we're on date number two.
准备好了 Ready.
太逊了 No way.
我们得重来 你得笑 We're going back in there. You have to smile.
如果你没念过高中的话 偶遇是件挺好的事 In case you didn't go to high school hitting is a good thing.
那要怎么发生呢 So how does it happen,
- 伟大的爱 - 你没事吧? -great love? -Are you okay?
- 没有人知道 - 很好 -Nobody knows. -I'm good.
给这位女士来个甜筒冰淇淋 Let me get a Bomb Pop and a Screwball for the lady.
不过我能告诉你的是 But what I can tell you,
一眨眼的工夫它就发生了 is that it happens in the blink of an eye.
这一刻 你还在享受你的生活 One moment, you're enjoying your life.
到了下一刻 And the next,
你会想像没有它们你怎么活下去 you're wondering how you ever lived without them.
我只需要三次约会 Three dates is all I need.
三次约会我就能让你达到 Three dates, and I'll get you here,
这个有巨大回报的阶段 to the high-stakes medal round...
到了这个阶段 十个女人里有八个相信 where eight out of 10 women believe that the first kiss...
从第一个吻就可以了解 will tell them everything
这段感情的全部信息 they need to know about the relationship.
在那之后 就靠你自己了 After that, you're on your own.
不过时刻记住 But always remember...
生活不是你呼吸了多少空气 life is not the amount of breaths you take.
而是那些令你无法呼吸的时刻 It's the moments that take your breath away.
我没打过 还是我打过了? Didn't I call it or did I call it?
我不是说了吗 六个月 I mean, what did I say, six months?
那她第一次约会是什么时候? And when was her first date?
那就是五个半月 上帝啊 真讨厌我又对了 So five-and-a-half? God, I hate it when I'm right.
我是说男人们是怎么回事 I mean What is it about guys
他们想和任何能走的东西上床 that makes them want to screw anything that walks
甚至当他们和像艾蕾歌·科尔 even when they're going out with someone
这么好的对象约会的时候 as awesome as Allegra Cole?
我是说她是纽约最优秀的女孩了 She's only the most fabulous thing walking around New York.
谢了 杨 Thanks, Young.
你开玩笑吗? Are you kidding?
我当然会做 Of course I'm gonna run it.
她为什么要把她的心浪费在 那个瑞典花花公子身上呢 Why should she waste her heart on some Swedish aristo-brat?
就算他很有魅力 Even if he is gorgeous.
如果他蠢到想背叛她 If he's stupid enough to cheat
那么整个世界都应该知道他也傻得会被抓住 the world should know he's dumb enough to get caught.
一点没错 我现在在电梯里 我们等会儿见 Exactly. I'm in the elevator. See you in a minute.
早上好 你怎么样? Good morning, how are you?
很好 萨拉 Great, Sara.
一个人的旅行团感觉不错? Bitter, party of one.
- 你什么时候也应该试试 - 我自己去巴巴多斯? -You should try it sometime. -Barbados by myself?
我连5分钟都坚持不了 I wouldn't last five minutes.
我只是按医生的指示做的 It was just what the doctor ordered.
我睡懒觉 我做瑜珈 I slept in, I did my yoga,
我看了两本书 I read a couple of books,
和我的潜水教练调了调情 I...flirted with my scuba instructor.
而且是在从来没有离开过办公室的情况下 And apparently never left the office.
我知道 那不是很好吗? I know, isn't that great?
你应该带个人和你一起去的 You should've taken someone with you.
我应该带谁和我一起? Who am I gonna take with me?
这就是有个男朋友的方便之处了 This is where a boyfriend comes in handy.
我没时间交男朋友 I don't have time for a boyfriend.
两年前你就是这么说的 You said that two years ago.
对 现在和那时一样 Yes, and it's as true today as it was then.
我以为你去度假了 I thought you were on vacation.
看下这些清晰的话 一个小时内放到我桌子上 See if these are in focus and have them in my desk in an hour.
还有 恋爱是给那些 Besides, relationships are for people
专门等着好事上门的人准备的 they're just waiting for something better to come along.
口气像个真正的愤世嫉俗者 Spoken like a true cynic.
我不是愤世嫉俗者 我是个现实主义者 I'm not a cynic. I'm a realist.
一个戴着愤世嫉俗的面具的现实主义者 You are a realist masquerading as a cynic
还是个隐蔽的乐观主义者 who is secretly an optimist.
你在这里干什么? 她在这里干什么? What are you doing here? What is she doing here?
她在这儿工作 记得吗? She works here, remember?
不 她现在不应该在这儿工作 你的假期还有四天啊 No, she doesn't. Not for another four days.
这个工作不能再等了 This couldn't wait.
当然可以等 It could.
你在做什么? 回海滩去 What are you doing? Go back to the beach.
我不想你在这里 I don't want you here.
不 你想的 No, really, you do.
你正在变成一个变态的神经的工作狂 You are becoming a sick, workaholic lunatic,
这种过度紧张的行为 and this is exactly the kind of nervous,
最终会导致... overwrought behavior that leads to...
拍到塞巴斯蒂安和大胸脯美女的照片 Pictures of Sebby with a busty brunette.
大幅地加薪 A very big raise.
上帝! 你能在暴风雪里找到一粒尘土 Jesus. You could find dirt in a snowstorm.
工作需要嘛 Comes with the job.
要知道 孩子 You know, kiddo,
生活不光是看别人怎么生活 there is more to life than watching other people live it.
我发现那小子在沙滩上偷腥 能忍住不做报道吗? Can I help he was cheating on my beach?
我认为你工作表现出色这很好 I think it's great that you're so good at your job.
我只是有点担心为什么 I'm just a little worried as to why.
这个还是留给我担心吧 Let me worry about that.
好吧 午饭前把写好的专栏放在我桌上 Okay. I want that column on my desk by lunch.
那是不是说你会报销我的住宿费用 So you'll pay for my hotel
好让你烦我? 没门 出去吧 For you to sip mai tais? I don't think so. Get out.
不会吧 Come on.
- 怎么回事? - 本来是个好球 对吧? -What? -That's good, right?
不对 No.
本来进了的 又弹出来了 No, it was in and it freaked out.
知道你的问题在哪儿吗 希奇? You know what your problem is, Hitch?
你追求的都是短期利益 You're all about the short game.
你总是根据第一眼看到的出手 You pick your shots based on what you see first...
而不是长远来讲 对你而言是最好的 not what's..necessarily best for you in the long run.
不是所有人都能和梦中情人结婚 All of us are not married to the woman of our dreams
然后有个孩子 and about to have a baby.
我非常为你高兴 但不是所有人都能这样的 You know, I'm very happy for you. Just not meant for everybody.
所以拜托别管我那个 So please just leave me to my hot, sweaty...
疯狂的 实验性质的短期利益了 totally varied, wildly experimental short game.
- 我只是在说台球 随便你怎么想了 - 嗯 好 -I was talking about pool, but whatever. -Yeah, okay.
说实话 我希望有一天你也能体验到 Honestly, I just hope one day you're able to experience,
我和格蕾斯每一天都分享的... the unconditional love, trust,and openness...
无条件的爱 信任和开诚布公 that I share with Grace every single day.
这真的是酒吧间里的谈话吗? Is this really barroom talk?
你得听我说 我是认真的 You need to listen to me. I'm serious.
因为当你和一个女人 达到那么一个高度的时候 Because when you get to a place with a woman like that
那种境界高于任何物质的表象 it's so beyond anything physical
当我回想原来和你一起 that when I think back to when I used to run around with you
到处追那些漂亮但肤浅的女人的时候... and chase all these really gorgeous but shallow women...
那不是... I don't know,
那不是有点荒谬可笑 而且似乎有点可怜吗? it's kind of ridiculous and vaguely pathetic.
我明白你的意思了 Yeah, I see what you mean.
确实很可怜 That's pathetic.
真的是很可怜 That's pathetic.
那你是怎么遇见他的? So, how'd you meet him?
我当时正在娜贝拉内衣店里买睡衣 I was in La Perla just buying some weekend thongs.
他也在买睡衣? And he was doing likewise?
没有 实际上 他正在给他妈妈买睡衣 No. Actually, he said he was buying something for his mom.
他妈妈? His mom?
凯茜 谁会给妈妈买那么贵的内衣呢? Casey, who buys high-priced lingerie for their mother?
不 不 也许他是在看睡袍 Well, maybe he was looking for a robe.
凯茜 Casey
凯茜 他在给别的女人买内衣时 Casey, he was hitting on you
又和你搭讪 while he was buying lingerie for another woman.
我还是喜欢妈妈的那个说法 I prefer the mother story.
我知道你喜欢 但那不是重点 I know you do, but that's not the point.
不 重点是我不会一开始 就假定那个家伙是个骗子 No, the point is I'm not gonna start out assuming the guy's a liar.
- 为什么不? - 因为那样我的下场就会... -Why not? -Because that's how you wind up...
像我一样? 你是不是想那么说? Like me? Is that what you were gonna say?
不是 我是想说"成为你这样" No. I was gonna say, "Like you."
- 他叫什么名字? - 干吗? -What's his name? -Why?
- 我去Google上查查他 - 算了 Google你自己的男朋友吧 -I'm gonna Google him. -No. Google your own guy.
只是想看看他妈妈是不是还活着 Let's just see if his mother's still alive.
- 格蕾斯什么时候生来着? - 很快 -So when is Grace due again? -Soon.
你"兴奋"了吗? You excited?
你刚说什么? What'd you say?
你想让我去把她们带过来吗? Do you want me to go get them and bring them over here?
不 不 别 No, don't do that.
你是说你不想和她们说话 Are you saying you don't wanna talk to them
因为你没法带她们回家? because you can't go home with them?
你想让我怎么样? What you want from me?
我只是不想惹麻烦 I'm just trying to keep my head above water.
- 你听说过那个"约会医生"吗? - 他是城市传奇人物啊 - Have you heard of the Date Doctor? - Urban myth.
- 真的? - 绝对 -Really? -Absolutely.
我希望他也帮助女人 I was hoping he also helped women.
凯茜 你没有病 你只是单身而已 Casey, you're not sick. You're single.
把生活当成坐车 你只需要放松和享受乘坐的乐趣 You just have to relax and enjoy the ride.
我都几个月没被"乘坐"过了 I haven't been ridden in months.
既然你都这么说了 On that happy note,
我去看看今晚有没有有趣的人来 I'm gonna go see if anybody interesting came in tonight.
你的意思是除了我之外 对吗? You mean, besides me.
没错 Right.
我去把那些女孩带过来之后 I'll go get those girls, bring them over here
我们才能像正常人一样谈话 and we'll have a conversation like human beings.
然后你回家 我把她们带回我的公寓 Then you're gonna home, and I'II take them back to my apartment.
就我而言听起来不错 Well, that sounds like fun for me.
不过你可能得排队 兄弟 But you know, you might want to get in line, pal.
- 你好啊 - 你好 -Hey, girl -Hey, how are you?
宝贝 拜托给台球桌那边来杯啤酒 baby, can I get a couple Coronas at the pool table, please?
- 谢了 - 对不起 -Thanks. -Excuse me.
对不起 Excuse me.
一瓶威奇酒也可以 Lime wedges in the bottle's fine.
混蛋 我不是女服务生 Hey, asshole, I don't work here.
抱歉啊 I'm sorry.
看来我要被人 The paramedics will have to
堵住嘴巴了 宝贝 come to get my foot out of my mouth, sweetheart.
行了 下次注意点 Just don't let it happen again.
我其实早知道你不是服务员了 I knew you didn't work here.
你知道? You did?
不然还有其他方法能把你 How else was I supposed to
从那些家伙们身边引开吗? get you away from all those guys?
你为什么想那么做? Why would you want to do that?
有些男人自然而然 就能和异性发展出轻松愉快的关系 Some guys naturally develop a comfort with the opposite sex.
他们喜欢女人 女人喜欢他们 They like women, women like them.
一切都那么自然而然 Everything flows naturally.
大学的时候 我可不是这样的人 Back in college, I was just not one of them.
我当时看起来缺乏其他人 I seemed to lack the basic understanding...
凭直觉就能掌握的基础常识 that my peers just intuitively grasped.
但是像任何晚熟的家伙一样 But like any late bloomer,
我渴望弥补失去的时间 I was eager to make up for lost time.
她的名字叫克蕾茜达·贝勒 Her name was Cressida Baylor.
-能告诉我在哪儿注册吗? -没问题 -Can you tell me where the registration building is? -Yeah.
我的生活就会永远改观 And my life would never be the same.
我叫阿列克斯 I'm Alex.
我是克蕾茜达 Cressida
那时我们之间的关系亲密无间 What we had was beautiful.
我爱你 I love you.
我非常爱你 I love you so much.
我也爱你 阿列克斯 I love you, too, Alex.
我知道你不像我爱你一样爱我 I know you don't love me as much as I love you.
但是这没关系 But that's okay.
只要你至少有一点爱我 我就很高兴了 I'm just glad you love me at all.
回首当时 我可能说的太重了 In retrospect, I guess I may have come on a little strong.
但是经验教给了我很多东西 But the experience taught me a lot.
克蕾茜达! Cressida!
你在做什么? What are you doing?
很抱歉 阿列克斯 I'm sorry, Alex.
但是我爱你啊 But I love you.
我做错什么了? 告诉我我做错什么了 What did I do wrong? Just tell me what I did wrong.
老兄 你现在就做错了 Dude, you're doing it right now.
很抱歉 Alex, I'm sorry.
这使我觉得我有责任教给 同为男人的兄弟们一课 And it's an education I feel obliged to pass on to my fellow men.
因为没有诡计 不玩把戏 就钓不到马子 Because with no guile and no game, there's no girl.
(纽约标准报:塞巴斯蒂安的热带幽会)
如果有那么一个人天生不会玩把戏的 If ever a man born was without game...
那么他就是艾伯特·布莱纳曼 it was Albert Brennaman.
(艾蕾歌和塞巴斯蒂安已经结束了吗?)
我的生意到现在为止 100％都是靠介绍 所以是无法追踪的 My business is 100% referral and, thus far, untraceable.
我学到的最重要的一件事就是 And if there's one thing I've learned...
如果你想做出轨的事情 when you orchestrate, coordinate, and otherwise mess with fate...
最好先小心藏好了 it's best to fly under the radar.
希望现在她是单身 因为我是不会教人挖墙角的 I hope she's single 'cause I don't do break-ups.
谢谢你来见我 Thank you for seeing me.
她单身 我是说 她刚结束了一段感情 Yeah, no. I mean, she just got out of a relationship.
这有什么问题吗? 如果有的话 没关系 Is that a problem? Because if it is, that's fine.
反正我自己也对这个有点不安 I'm a little uncomfortable with this anyway.
受过很多伤害 我有很多糟糕的经验 Definitely been hurt a lot. I had a lot of bad experiences.
也有一些好的 不过你知道糟糕的有很多 Some good ones. But definitely a lot of bad ones.
另外 基本上我不抱太多希望 我是说 I'm desperate, basically. I mean,
不是对所有的女人都这样 你明白吗? not in general, you understand?
我是说对她 我抱的希望其实不大 You know, not just for anybody. But, man, for her... Yeah.
告诉我一些关于她的事吧 Why don't you tell me about her?
这个 怎么说呢? Let's see, what can I say?
我们公司负责打理她的财务 我是她的税务顾问 My company handles her finances. I'm her tax consultant.
顾问之一 我的级别比较低 Well, I'm one of them. I'm the junior man on the account.
- 那么她知道你对她有意思吗? - 不 不 -So does she know you're interested? -No.
不知道 No.
她知道有你这么一号人吗? Alive?
- 我借过她一回笔 - 该死 有人有笔吗? -Llent her my pen once. -Shoot. Does anyone have a pen?
这儿 我的 Here, take mine.
艾伯特 我的胳膊都要被你压断了 Albert, you're crushing my arm.
对不起啊 拿着 艾蕾歌 Sorry about that. Here you go, Allegra.
艾蕾歌 就是那个艾蕾歌·科尔? Allegra? As in Allegra Cole?
对 我知道我不是她通常约会的那一型 Yeah, I realize that I'm not her usual type.
她上一个男朋友 好像是拥有瑞典还是什么的 Well, her last boyfriend owned Sweden or something.
是个游手好闲的家伙 And that guy was a bum.
我觉得他不像个好人 He didn't seem like a very nice person to me.
你想一击就打出全垒啊 You swing for the fence.
你以为我没有试图说服自己? Look, you don't think I tried talking myself out of this?
你以为我不知道这有多荒谬? I mean, you don't think I know how ridiculous this is?
我知道的 明白吗? 我只是想有你的帮助 我也许能... I know, okay? I just thought that maybe with your help...
我很抱歉浪费了你的时间 You know what? I'm really sorry I wasted your time.
等一下 艾伯特 Hold on a second, Albert.
你知道那是什么样的感觉 You know what it's like
每天醒来 觉得毫无希望 getting up every morning feeling hopeless?
感觉就像你一生的爱人 在错误的男人身边醒来 Feeling like the love of your life is waking up with the wrong man?
但是同时 也希望她能找到幸福 But at the same time, hoping that she still finds happiness
即使她从没有和你在一起过 even if it's never gonna be with you?
你脑子短路了 秀豆了 You are flat-out...out of your mind.
- 你知道这点吗? - 知道 -You know that? -Yeah.
这很好 That's good.
是吗? It is?
- 听说过米开朗基罗吗? - 听说过 -You ever heard of Michelangelo? -Yeah.
听说过西斯廷大教堂吗?(教堂中有米开朗基罗绘制的天顶画) Heard of the Sistine Chapel
听过啊 Yeah.
我就是米开朗基罗 你就是西斯廷大教堂 Michelangelo. Sistine Chapel
那你能搞定? You saying you can do this?
我的名字叫阿列克斯·希奇斯 My name is Alex Hitchens.
我们去画那幅天顶画吧 Let's go paint that ceiling.
放松 Take it easy.
噢 我的上帝 噢 上帝 Oh, my God!
(致:艾伯特 主题:震撼行动 她进电梯了 左边口袋里有口香糖)
看起来我还是个有钱人 Well, it looks like I'm still rich.
不过我真正想知道的是 But what I would really like, and what I was wondering is...
我可不可以拿50万美元自己投资? if I could have $500,000 to invest on my own.
你想投资什么 艾蕾歌? And what were you thinking of investing in, Allegra?
是我真的很热爱的东西 Well, it's something that I really have a passion for.
白日梦是私人时间做的事 Daydreams are for private time.
在这间房间里 就要在其位而谋其政 When you're in the room, be in the room.
集中精力 集中注意力 你要回应她们 女人们才会回应你 Concentrate. Focus. Women respond when you respond to them.
我的朋友麦琪 是个非常有才华的设计师 My friend Maggie is a talented designer.
我已经看过了他们的计划书 样品看起来非常棒 I've seen the business plan and the samples look fantastic.
我非常非常想参与其中 And I would really, really like to get involved.
我来告诉你吧 我们会拿出一些我们认为 I'll tell you what. Let us come up with a range of investments
你可能会感兴趣的投资方向 that we think you might be interested in...
然后下个月来和你讨论它们 怎么样? and next month, we'll run the whole lot of them by you.
好吧 Okay.
好的 谢谢 好了 先生们 下一... Fine. Thank you. All right, gentlemen. Next...
我们再来一遍 目标是什么? Let's go over this one more time. What is the objective?
震撼和敬畏 Shock and awe.
糟糕得令人震撼 目标是什么 That was shockingly awful. What is the objective?
震撼 Shock and awe.
目标是什么? What is the objective?
对不起 先生 Excuse me, sir.
什么事 艾伯特? Yes, Albert?
我并不完全同意 I don't really agree with that.
你并不完全同意什么? You don't really agree with what?
我认为如果你想在 你朋友的生意上投资50万美元的话 I think if you want to invest $500,000 in your friend's business
- 那就是你应该做的 - 艾伯特! -that's exactly what you should do. -Albert!
你不需要我们告诉你应该做什么 You don't need us to tell you what to do.
我们是一个顾问团 不是你的幼儿园老师 We're a board of advisers, not your kindergarten teachers.
如果你想让别人 像对待成年人一样认真对待你 If you want to be taken seriously as an adult,
我建议你先 像对待成年人一样认真对待自己 then start taking yourself seriously as an adult
而不是请求一屋子像你老爸这个年纪的老头子 instead of asking for permission to invest your own money
允许你用自己的钱投资 from a boardroom full of your daddy's golf buddies.
- 你说的够多的了 - 你知道我话还没讲完 -That's quite enough! -I'm not finished.
我想让这房间里所有的人都认真听着 I'd like to see anybody in this room handle the attention and publicity
她现在是在和远远不及她的人 讨论她自己的生活 that she's had to deal with her whole life, with half her class.
我们需要你的建议 科尔小姐 We should be taking advice from you, Miss Cole.
而不是反过来 Not the other way around.
- 坐下 - 不 你知道吗 我不干了 -Sit down... -No! You know what? I quit!
噢 我的上帝 Oh, my God.
呼吸 呼吸 进行得怎么样? Just breathe. Just breathe. How'd it go?
我冲她大叫 我对我的老板咆哮 我辞了我的工作 I yelled at her. I screamed at my boss! I quit my job!
- 什么? - 是你说的... -What? -You said...
- 我要回去 - 我没让你辞职啊 -I gotta go back. -No, I didn't tell you to quit.
听着 我们没事 我们没事 Relax. Okay, listen, we're fine.
你就让我去吧 Would you let me go?
艾伯特 不 不 Albert, no!
放松就好 好吗? Just relax! Okay?
- 让他们回味一下 相信我 - 不 -Just let it marinate for a second. Trust me. -No!
放松点 Relax.
- 我是艾蕾歌 科尔 - 快回答 -It's Allegra Cole. -Answer it.
- 我能和你说句话吗? - 去开门 艾伯特 -Could I speak to you a second? -Answer the door, Albert.
来了 有什么事吗? Yes. Hi. What's up?
听着 你叫艾伯特 对吗? Listen, Albert, right?
别人通常不那么对我讲话 知道吗? People don't usually talk to me like that. Ok?
把嘴闭上 哥们儿 Close your mouth,man.
我换个说法吧 Let me rephrase that.
别人从来不会那么对我讲话 People never talk to me like that.
站直 Stand up.
我猜对他们来说刚才有点太吓人了 I guess it's kind of scary for them.
不过我很感激 你刚才在那里所做的事情 But that's why I really appreciate what you did in there.
你觉得我们有可能 But I was wondering
在这星期的什么时间碰个面吗? do you think that you and I could get together sometime this week?
讨论一些事情 财务方面的 You know, to go over things. Financial things.
我想了解一下 在哪些方面我有能力冒一下险 I'd like to see the areas where I can afford to take some risks.
- 查一下你的日程 - 我得查一下我的日程 科尔小姐 -Check your schedule. -I'll check my schedule. Miss. Cole.
太好了 我来把我的电话给你 你有笔吗? Great. Let me give you my number. Do you have a pen?
我想我应该没有 I don't think I have one.
- 我有 - 太好了 -Yes, I do. -Great.
叫我艾蕾歌就行 And call me Allegra.
- 完事了 - 再见 -You're done. -Goodbye.
干得好 Good job.
艾伯特! 噢 该死! Albert! Oh, damn.
她好像是个报纸专栏作家 She's some kind of newspaper columnist.
每隔一阵来一回 给小费出手很大方 Comes in here once in a while. Great tipper.
她喝什么? What's her drink?
通常是啤酒 今晚是灰鹅马提尼鸡尾酒 Usually beer. Tonight, Grey Goose martini, dirty.
我注意到你杯子里酒不多了 I noticed your glass was getting low
所以我自做主张又给你来了一杯苹果马提尼 so I took the liberty of bringing you another apple martini.
谢谢你 Thank you.
另外我注意到 And I couldn't help but notice
你看起来很像我下一任女朋友 you look a lot like my next girlfriend.
你叫什么? What's your name?
他们叫我奇普(与薯片谐音) They call me Chip.
你就不能让他们别再吃了? You can't get them to stop?
这个笑话不错 That was funny.
听着 奇普 我理解穿过整个房间 Listen, I understand the courage it takes to walk across a room
试图在稀薄的空气中演绎出一段感情需要勇气 and try to generate a relationship out of thin air.
所以别把我下面的话当作是针对你 So don't take the following personally.
你的眼睛很美 You have fantastic eyes.
谢谢 注意听着 Thanks. Try to listen.
不是对你挑剔 我只是不感兴趣 This is no reflection on you. I'm just not interested.
但是谢谢你过来打招呼 But thank you for the compliment of coming over.
不用客气 你喜欢古巴菜吗? You're welcome. So do you like Cuban food?
奇普 我是认真的 我的话不是"希望你再努力些"的暗号 Chip, seriously, that was not code for,"I wish you'd try harder."
你总是这么自我封闭 Are you always so shut-down
害怕你的真命天子让你感觉... and afraid that the right man might make you...
像个正常的女人? Feel like a natural woman?
抱歉 我迟到了 亲爱的 打不到车 Sorry I'm late, honey. I couldn't get a cab.
会开得怎么样 How was the meeting?
算是有始有终 Well, there was a beginning, a middle, and an end.
很高兴见到你 奇普 Nice to meet you, Chip.
我也一样 Me, too.
一方面 对于一个男人来说 On the one hand, it is very difficult for a man
和你这样的女人开口讲话都很难 to even speak to someone who looks like you.
可在另一方面 这应该是你的问题吗? But on the other hand, should that be your problem?
所以生活不管从那个方面来说都是艰难的 So life's kind of hard all around.
如果你注意观察的话就不会 Not if you pay attention.
你发出了所有的信号都是一致的 You're sending all the right signals:
没有耳环 鞋跟不超过两英寸 头发向后梳 No earrings, heels under two inches, your hair is pulled back
你戴着读书镜 可是没有书 wearing reading glasses with no book,
喝灰鹅马提尼 drinking a Grey Goose martini
说明你度过了糟糕的一周 这种情况下啤酒根本就不够劲 which means you had a hell of a week and a beer just wouldn't do it
如果这些还不够清楚的话 If that wasrt clear enough...
你的前额上还印着"滚蛋"两个字 there's always the "fuck off" that you have stamped on your forehead.
因为谁会相信有男人会愿意 Who'd believe there's a man out there
坐在一个陌生女人的身边 that can sit by a woman he doesn't know...
真诚地希望知道她是谁 是做什么的 and genuinely be interested in who she is, what she does,
而不带着自己的私欲 without his own agenda?
我都不知道那会是个什么样子 I wouldn't even know what that would look like.
那么那样的一个男人会说什么呢? So what would a guy like that say?
他会说我叫阿列克斯·希奇斯 是个咨询顾问 He'd say, " My name is Alex Hitchens and I'm a consultant."
但是她可能对这个完全不感兴趣 But she wouldn't be interested in that
因为她可能正在盘算他还有多少秒钟才离开 because she'd be counting the seconds until he left.
认为他和其他男人没什么不同 Thinking he was like every other guy.
生活经验告诉她这几乎是一定的 Which, life experience has taught her, is a virtual certainty.
不过之后他会问她叫什么名字 做什么工作的 But then he'd ask her name and what she did for a living
而她可能会让他滚蛋 她也可能... and she might blow him off. Or she might say
我叫萨拉·梅拉丝 我在标准报做"流言蜚语"专栏 I'm Sara Melas. I run the gossip column at the Standard.
然后他会问一些很尖锐的问题 And then he'd ask all these penetrating questions about her
因为他对她很真诚 虽然看起来不够典型 because he was sincerely, if atypically, interested.
不会 No.
他看起来确实有兴趣 He'd be interested.
不过他能看出他没有办法 But he'd see that there was no way
让她相信他是认真的 he could possibly make her realize that he was for real
他可能很风趣 很有魅力 有与众不同的创造性 Well, he could be funny and charming and refreshingly original
没有用的 Wouldn't help.
这种情况下他不会不高兴吗? Don't you hate it when that happens?
不会 Not really.
他们也许会继续过他们自己的生活 They'd both probably go on to lead the lives they were headed toward.
我的猜想是 他们也会过的一样好 My guess is they'd do just fine.
很荣幸认识你 萨拉·梅拉丝 It's a pleasure to have met you, Sara Melas.
灰鹅马提尼 刚走的那位先生点的 Grey Goose martini from the gentleman who just left.
是给我的吗? Is that for me?
怎么了? What?
文斯·曼森 抱歉我迟到了 Vance Munson. Sorry I'm late.
没事 没关系的 No, not a problem.
你就是.... you're the...
来点什么喝? Can I get you something to drink, Mr...
不用了 我很好 谢谢你 No, I'm fine, thank you.
那么来谈谈她吧 So, tell me about her.
你有没有遇到过什么人 Have you ever met someone
你立刻就意识到 她会是你生命中重要的人 and you knew right away she was gonna be important to you?
不只是因为她的外表 而是那些未知的因素 Not just because of her looks, but that X factor.
你怎么遇见她的? How'd you meet her?
事实上 我当时正在一家店里给我妈妈买睡衣 Actually, I was in a shop buying pajamas for my mom.
你那么说的意思肯定是 And by that, of course, you mean
你正在给别的女人买内衣 you were buying lingerie for another woman.
对 你并没有办法阻止自己遇到什么人 对吗? Yes. You can't help where you meet somebody.
内衣是给一个我不会再见的女人的 And the lingerie is for a woman I'm no longer seeing.
所以 反正 我遇到的这个女孩 But anyway, the girl I met, the one I was talking about
她是那么甜美 那么有趣 那么热情 she's so sweet, funny, Southern.
她给了我一个号码 可现在她不回我的电话 She gives me her number. Now she won't return my phone calls.
我不知道究竟是她的什么地方 I don't know what it is about her.
她在我的脑海里挥之不去 I just can't get her out of my mind.
我是食不甘味 颜色看起来都好沉闷 You know, food has lost its taste. Colors, they seem dull.
还有以前那些重要的事 Things that used to matter...
不知怎么的 它们现在都不再重要了 I don't know, they just no longer do.
我觉得事情没法恢复到以前了 除非我... I think things aren't gonna snap back unless I...
除非我能干了她 Unless I bang her.
你说什么? Excuse me?
你知道 干了她 把我的头脑清空 进去 射了 出来 You know, bang her. Clear my head. Get in, get off, get out.
我想你是误解了我的职业了 I think you may have misunderstood what I do exactly.
没有 别人告诉我你帮助男人们达到目的 No, I was told you help guys get in there.
没错 不过你看 有这么一条 Right. But, see, here's the thing.
我的客户们事实上都是真的爱对方 My clients actually like women.
打一炮就跑的事情我不干 Hit it and quit it is not my thing.
我跟你说清楚吧 老师 Let me make one thing clear to you, rabbi.
我需要专业人员的帮助 I need professional help.
是啊 这点非常肯定 Well, that is for damn certain.
另外我很高兴你承认了这一点 And I'm glad you can admit it
因为一般来说这是最困难的部分 because generally that's the hardest part.
看到我在做什么了吗? 这就是我 You see what I'm doing? This is what I'm about.
高级西装 高级领带 掌舵者 Power suit, power tie, power steering.
人们会退缩 会哭喊 会乞求 不过最终 他们会照我说的做 People can wince, cry, beg, but eventually they do what I want.
那是一个比喻 So that's, like, a metaphor.
没错 Yeah.
我其实是个有点抠字眼的人 Well, I'm more of a literal kind of guy.
所以当我这么干的时候 So when I do this
我的意思就是如果你再敢碰我的话 this is more like me saying that I will literally break your shit off
就别想要你这条膀子了 if you ever touch me again.
- 明白了吗 小南瓜? - 明白了 -Okay, pumpkin? -Got it.
不行 不行 No.
帕布罗 我不能就那么把你的餐馆写上去 Pablo, I can't just mention your restaurant.
得有人在那里吃过饭 Somebody has to eat there.
不行 得是名人 你知道的 No, somebody famous. You know that.
- 萨拉·梅拉丝? - 不行 不行 不行 -Sara Melas? -No.
好 再见 Okay. Bye.
我需要你的签名 I need your signature.
我讨厌女孩没有把电话给他 I hate it when a guy calls a girl
他却打来电话的家伙 who did not give him her number.
所以这不是我打电话来 完毕 So this is me not calling. Over.
对 你是对的 这样做不是那么侵略性 Yes, you're right. This is much less invasive.
听着 我一直在想你额头上写的字 I've been thinking about that sign on your forehead.
我在想你介不介意 And I was wondering if you'd mind
星期五晚饭的时候把它们拿下来 完毕 taking it down for dinner Friday night. Over.
我去不了 我有两个必须要去的派对 I can't. I have a couple of parties I have to hit.
"流言蜚语"从不睡觉 Gossip never sleeps.
凌晨4点以前 Not till about 4:00 a.m.
星期六? Saturday?
我有个约会 I have a date.
你知道坚韧不拔的定义吗 梅拉丝小姐? Do you know the definition of "perseverance," Miss Melas?
讨人厌的借口? An excuse to be obnoxious?
继续某种行动而不管 Continuing in a course of action...
挫折 反对或是之前的失败 完毕 without regard to discouragement,opposition or previous failure. Over.
好吧 韦氏词典先生 我怎么能让你不再烦我? Okay, Webster, how do I get rid of you?
星期天的早饭 这甚至都不能叫约会 Breakfast, Sunday. And you can barely even call that a date.
因为这种饭一般都是和你不喜欢的乡下亲戚吃 完毕 You do that with out-of-town relatives that you don't even like. Over.
答应呀 Come on.
好吧 我想星期天可以 Okay, I guess I could do Sunday.
你忘了说"完毕"了 完毕 You forgot to say "over." Over.
你告诉我时间地点 这次谈话就彻底完毕了 This conversatiors over as soon as you tell me when and where.
早上7点 北湾码头 完毕 7:00 a.m., North Cove Marina. Over and out.
7点 你疯啦? 7点我可不行 7:00 a.m.? Are you crazy? I don't do 7:00 a.m.
喂? Hello?
- 在这里签字 - 什么? -Sign here. -What?
- 你说星期天 对吗? - 怎么了? -You said Sunday, right? -Yeah.
我如果当时答应了星期五呢? What if I would have said Friday?
星期天? Sunday?
那么 我猜你星期天是不去教堂了 So I guess you're not going to church.
你真的以为我会穿这个? Do you really expect me to wear this?
那边不穿这个会很冷的 It'll be awful cold out there without it.
早上好 Good morning.
要是10点钟的话我就"好" "Good" would have been at 10:00.
你比我印象里高一些啊 You're a lot taller than I remember.
你玩过这个吗? You ever ride one of these?
没在哈德逊河里玩过 Not on the Hudson.
你想干什么? So, what do you wanna do?
- 围着自由女神和我赛跑? - 如果有时间的话 -Race me around the Statue of Liberty? -If there's time.
- 你可能会需要这个 - 好吧 -But you might need these. -All right.
我看上去如何? How do I look?
迷死人了 Fabulous.
好吧 我屈服了 All right, I give.
到哪儿换衣服? Where do I change?
我们从墙那里出去 So we'll go past the wall,
左拐 之后一直向前就可以了 then take a left. It's pretty much a straight shot from there.
一直向前去哪里? Straight shot to where?
那就要你自己来发现了 That's for me to know and you to find out.
那看好 对付这些宝贝你要... What you do with these babies is...
我骑在上面可以把你甩老远 Yeah, what I do with this baby is kick your ass.
出什么事了? 你改变主意了? What happened? You change your mind?
熄火了 It just died.
你加油了吗? Did you put gas in it?
加了 没有 你知道的 Yeah. No. You know,
肯定是吸进了尿布之类的东西了 I think it must have sucked up a diaper or something.
太恶心了 Gross.
再来一次 Try it again.
要不要给你叫拖车公司? You want me to call AAA?
转过来 我好跳到你的上面 Come on around and let me hop on with you.
不怎么好吧 你要是把我的也弄坏了 I don't know. What if you break mine, too?
那样我们就都歇菜了 Then we'll both be sitting ducks.
我没把它弄坏 是它自己熄火了 I didn't break it. It just died.
是啊 是啊 Yeah, yeah.
好吧 跳过来吧 来吧 All right, hop on.
- 往后坐 - 我已经坐在这儿了 -Scoot back. -Hitch, I'm already here.
对 不过你不知道我们要去哪里 But you don't know where we're going.
你为什么不告诉我呢? 这样我们就都知道了 Why don't you tell me? Then we'll both know.
萨拉? Sara?
男人的虚荣心 Man, male egos.
我不知道你们男人 是怎么带着它度过每一天的 I don't know how you guys make it through the day with them.
什么? 这不是我的虚荣心的问题 What? It is not my ego.
我只是不想破坏一个惊喜 I just don't want to ruin the surprise.
萨拉! Sara!
抱歉 你还好吧? I'm sorry. Are you all right?
-我总是随身带着几个 - 谢谢 -There. I always keep a few of those around. -Thank you.
我的背部有点问题 I have lower back trouble.
我刚把那个冰袋塞在这里 I just shove the ice packs right down there.
不 不 这是个新的 No. That's a fresh one.
好了 艾利斯岛 So, Ellis Island.
我必须承认 我在纽约住了一辈子了 I have to admit, I have lived in New York my whole life
但我从没来过这里 and I've never been here.
我知道大多数人都没来过 I figured that. Most people haven't.
所以我让我的兄弟拉里 在这儿给我们做一个私人导游 So I got my man Larry here to set us up a private tour.
很乐意为希奇效劳 Anything for Hitch.
它本来的名字叫牡蛎岛 It was originally known as Oyster Island.
这个岛是用修建纽约地铁时挖出来的土 The island was expanded to its present size...
堆积成现在的大小的 with dirt removed during the construction of the New York subway system.
- 真的假的? - 真的 -Are you serious? -Yes.
你以前知道吗? Did you know this?
知道 这就是我带你来这里的原因 Yeah. That's why I brought you here.
事实上 超过一亿的美国人可以追踪溯源 In fact, over 100 million Americans can trace their ancestry
到轮船的名册上的一个男人 女人 或者孩子 back to a single man, woman, or child on the ship's manifest
还有移民官的登记簿 to an inspector's ledger.
截止到1910年纽约 By 1910, 75% of the residents of New York,
截止到1910年纽约 芝加哥 底特律 克利夫兰和波士顿75%的居民 Chicago,Detroit, Cleveland, and Boston...
都是移民及其后代 were immigrants, or the children of immigrants.
他们一般都居住在城市的贫民区 They generally lived in the poorest sections of the cities...
比如小意大利 中国城和其他民族聚居区 in Little Italys, Chinatowns and other ethnic enclaves.
它叫做"接吻柱" It's called The Kissing Post.
这片金属解释了在长时间的分别之后 不同的文化是如何接触的 The plaque explains how different cultures kiss after long absences.
什么才能算是长时间的分别呢? Now, what exactly would qualify as a long absence?
我是说 像这样吗 I mean... that count?
不 No.
实际上我有一个亲戚是从这里入境的 I actually had a relative come through here.
- 真的? - 真的 -Really? -Yeah.
- 怎么了? - 什么? -What? -What?
怎么回事? What was that thing?
不 我只是在想... No. You know, I was just thinking...
你要知道你从何处来 you can't really know where you're going
你才知道你往何处去 until you know where you've been.
不对吗 拉里? Ain't that right, Larry?
说的对 兄弟 Amen, brother.
对于第一次约会来说有点太深了 你不这么觉得吗? That's kind of deep for a first date, don't you think?
那边是什么? What is that?
(胡安 梅拉丝)
噢 上帝! Oh, my God!
那是我的曾曾祖父 That's my great-great-grandfather.
这是他的签名 上帝 就在这儿 That's his signature. Jesus, it's right here!
你是怎么知道的? How did you know?
希奇去搜索的 我只是找到这一页 Hitch did the search. I just found the page.
对不起 这和我计划中的不太一样 I'm sorry. I saw that going differently in my mind.
我们家的人再也没见过他 So my family never saw him again.
除了在通缉令上 Well, except for on the Wanted posters.
我真的很遗憾 Look, I'm really sorry.
我在计算机上看到的时候 When I saw it on the computer,
上面写着"卡迪斯的屠夫" it said, "the Butcher of Cadiz."
你知道 我还以为那是他的职业呢 I thought it was a profession,
没想到是报纸的头条 not a headline.
那是我们所有人都试图忘记的 It's just one of those horrible family legacies
悲剧性的家族事迹之一 we've all tried to forget.
谢谢你 不 那是... But thank you. No, it was...
一场灾难 A train wreck.
- 没有啦 - 我给你叫辆出租车吧 -No. -Let me get you a cab.
谢谢 Thanks.
再见 Bye.
再见 Bye-bye.
出租 Taxi!
可怜的家伙 听起来好像惹了很多麻烦 Poor guy. Sounds like he went to a lot of trouble.
很有意思 It was fun.
以灾难性的方式 我是说这个可不是个唇印 In a disastrous kind of way. I mean, this isn't exactly a hickey.
至少你有了一段自己的故事 对吗? At least you got a good story out of it, right?
对吗? Right?
你应该尝尝我的 非常棒 You should try mine, it's great.
等等 你还要再见他 Wait. You're seeing him again?
你说我总是认为男人会令我失望 对吗? Well, look, you said that I'm always expecting men to let me down, right?
总是假定他们会失败 Assuming that they're gonna fail
他的确是失败了 Which he did.
是啊 不过他还是有闪光点的 Yeah, but he did it with flair.
我是说 凯茜 他确实很用心啊 I mean, Case, he really tanked.
而那是个优点吗? And that's a desirable trait?
是啊 很奇怪 对吗? Yeah. Weird, huh?
一切都要保持简单 就像我们练习的一样 Now, just keep it simple. Just like we practiced.
我们只是留一个口信 知道吗 We're just leaving a message.
像艾蕾歌·科尔这样的女人 不会接来自陌生号码的电话的 Women like Allegra Cole don't pick up numbers they don't recognize.
喂? Hello?
她接电话了 She's on the phone!
喂 你好 科尔小姐? Yes. Hello, Miss Cole?
有个叫艾伯特·布莱纳曼的找你 Hi, I have Albert Brennaman for you.
等一下 One moment, please.
告诉她我在吃午饭 No. Tell her I'm at lunch.
我们打电话给她 就为了告诉她你在吃午饭? We called her to tell her you're at lunch?
艾蕾歌 我是艾伯特·布莱纳曼 Allegra. Hi, it's Albert Brennaman.
你好吗? Hi, how are you?
很好 很好 我很好 Good. I'm doing good.
我打电话是说说关于 我们星期三的预约 The reason I'm calling is about our appointment this Wednesday.
我可能去不了 Not gonna be able to make it.
那你什么时候可以? Well, when can you make it?
我什么时候可以? When can I do it?
我自己都不知道 I don't even know,
我自己都不知道 因为我整个下星期都一团糟 because my whole next week is slammed.
对 都很好 Right. But it's all good.
对 都很好 Yeah, it's OK.
不 我们肯定会见面的 那是一定的 No, we're gonna make it happen though, that's for sure.
我们会见面的 对 We're going to make it happen. Yes.
你在... Oh, are you...
你那边怎么了? What's going on over there?
只是搬一些东西 Just moving some things around.
天空工作室 Sky Studios.
对了 今晚我实际上要去 Tonight I'm actually going to
天空工作室的这个时尚展示 this fashion thing at Sky Studios.
设计师朋友 Designer friend.
我只是想也许你的设计师朋友 I just thought it might be something your
麦琪也许会感兴趣 designer friend Maggie would be interested in.
绝对会 Yeah, definitely.
那太好了 Well, great.
太好了 我把电话转回到我... Great. Then I will put you back on with my...
艾蕾歌 请到这边来 Allegra, over here, please.
科尔小姐 这边 Miss Cole, this way.
你好 Hi, there.
这个主意真是太棒了 This was a fantastic idea.
我也是这么想的 I suppose.
麦琪呢? Hey, where's Maggie?
和往常一样 迟到了 Late as usual
今晚我要你想像一下冰山的形象 Tonight I want you to meditate on the image of an iceberg.
你知道为什么我要你这么做吗? Do you know why I want you to do that?
因为我很酷? Because I'm cool
- 不 - 我知道我不酷 -No. -I know, I'm not.
我是说你是一座冰山 I'm saying that you are an iceberg...
90％的重量都在水面下 in that over 90% of your mass is below the surface.
我知道我分量不轻 这没错 I know I'm heavy. I am.
我在说你是什么样的人 I'm talking about who you are.
这是个比喻 It's a metaphor.
会计 生意 Accounting, business...
那都只是 有内涵又富有的的艾伯特的一小部分 all of that is just a small part of a much deeper, richer Albert.
今晚那里会很嘈杂 It's gonna be loud in there...
所以这是我们以不是那么唐突的方式 so this is our opportunity to break the touch barrier...
突破距离界限的一个机会 in a non-sleazy way.
把她带到最吵的地方 So get to where it's loudest.
然后问她要不要喝点什么 Ask her if she'd like a drink.
身子靠近 手放在她背上 Lean in, place your hand on the small of her back...
像谈论秘密一样和她耳语 and say it in her ear like a secret.
但是要注意手放的位置 Watch your hand placement.
太高 意思就变成"我只想做朋友" Too high says, "I just wanna be friends."
太低 意思就变成"我只想在屁股上揩一把油" Too low says, "I just wanna grab some ass."
朋友 屁股 我 Friends. Ass. Me.
特别的要点 Special issues:
艾蕾歌·科尔是个名人 Allegra Cole is a celebrity...
就是说别人和她讲话的时候 which means that when people talk to her,
会完全忽略你的存在 they'll ignore you completely.
她是个很有风度的人 所以她会向别人介绍你 She's classy, so she'll introduce you.
当她介绍的时候 要用力和别人握手 讲话的声音也要大一些 When she does, shake hands hard and speak up.
让他们意识到你的存在 Let them know you're there.
向她展示你有能力做她的护花使者 Show her you can handle being her escort.
- 伊根 这位是艾伯特 - 你好 -Egon, this is Albert. -How you doing?
伊根 Egon,
艾伯特 这位是扎克 Albert, this is Zak.
很高兴见到你 Nice to see you.
这些是麦琪的朋友 These guys are friends with Maggie.
你去过那个新开的巴西餐馆了吗? Been to that new Brazilian restaurant?
- 没有 不过我在... - 非常恶心 -No, but I am... -It's disgusting.
我正在写一篇有关它的文章 I'm writing an article about it.
你见过现代艺术博物馆的新展品了吗? Did you see the new installation at MOMA?
- 是的 你觉得... - 非常恶心 -Yes, did you think... -Disgusting.
女人总是能判断出你是不是和她们说实话 Women can always tell when you're not being real with them.
你能做的最糟的事就是假装 Worst thing you can do is try to fake it,
因为你是一个很棒的男人 because you are a great guy.
你的确有一些别人无法给艾蕾歌的东西 And you do have something to offer Allegra that no other man does.
你叫什么来着? What was your name?
伊根 Egon.
你对西边的那个 新建的橄榄球场的设计有什么看法? What do you think of the design of the Jets'new football stadium on the West Side?
我来猜猜 很恶心对吗? Let me guess. Disgusting?
再好好想想 我们一会儿回来 Think it over. We'll be back.
谢谢 我受不了那些人了 Thank you. I can't stand those guys.
真的? 我还有点喜欢他们呢 Really? I kind of liked them.
不过说到底 But when all is said and done...
今晚的主题不是艾蕾歌 tonight is not about Allegra.
不是? It's not?
不是 今晚的主题是麦琪 No. Tonight is about Maggie.
一个女人的最好的朋友 A woman's best friend
在重要的感情决定上都有最终决定权 has to sign off on all big relationship decisions.
所以你可不能把这个搞砸了 So you can't afford to mess this up.
艾伯特 来见见我的朋友 麦琪 Albert, I want you to meet my friend, Maggie.
你好 麦琪 Hi, Maggie.
- 能见到你荣幸之至 - 我才是麦琪 -It's an absolute pleasure to meet you. -I'm Maggie.
不 你不是 No, you're not.
事实上 我就是 Actually, I am.
麦格努斯·福雷斯特 Magnus Forester.
非常感谢你邀请我们 Thank you so much for inviting us.
你的手很柔软哦 You have very soft hands.
谢谢你 Thank you.
你的手也很软 So do you.
谢谢 Thank you.
所以今晚 你要注意一件事 So tonight, you focus on one thing
而且只注意这件事: 麦琪 and one thing only. Maggie.
你的灵感从何而来呢? Where does your inspiration come from?
噢 我的上帝 Oh, my God.
我看到的任何东西 杂志上的东西 Anything I see. Something in a magazine,
街上的 老电影里的 out on the street...in an old movie.
对于创造性的天然接受能力 总是令我惊讶 The receptive nature of the creative facility just astounds me.
有人想要春卷吗? Anybody want any spring rolls?
顺便说一下 你的领带真的很美 That's a beautiful tie, by the way.
我是说整个搭配 都恰到好处 This whole thing, it just works.
谢谢 Thank you.
他是同性恋? Is he gay?
我看不是 I don't think so.
我喜欢他 I like him.
说到调音师 About the deejay.
一般我有严格的"不准跳舞"的规定 Generally, I have a firm no-dancing policy.
不过如果她要求的话 你不能说"不" But if she asks, you can not say no.
跳舞是我最不担心的事情 I'm not worried about dancing.
不过如果有别人在的话 But if there are people there...
很抱歉 我不喜欢太固执 I'm sorry, I hate to be a stickler,
不过我得考虑周全 but I need to be thorough.
给我看看你不担心是什么意思 Show me what you mean by you're not worried about it.
相信我 你知道我能做的到 Trust me. You know what I'm gonna do.
就是这样 That's what it's all about, right there.
看它怎么越变越大 See how it gets bigger?
现在我要点火了 Now I'm gonna start the fire.
脚不能停 But the feet are going.
我点着火了 I start the fire,
我做个匹萨饼 I make the pizza.
骻要不停地动 Hips are always going.
抖骻怎么都不过分 Can't get enough hip.
看 Q-tip(说唱歌手)的动作 From there, the Q-Tip.
Q-tip Q-tip 扔到一边去 Q-Tip. Throw it away.
这样还不行的话 你就来这个 That's not working, hit them with this.
永远 别再做这些动作了 Don't ever...do that again.
听到我说的话了吗? Do you hear me?
只是表达真实的自我 Just expressing myself.
不 不 No. No.
不能像那样 不行 Not like that, you're not,
好了 all right?
你就住在这里 就是这里 This is where you live. Right here.
你就住在这里 You live right here, okay?
这里是家 This is home.
就像这样 None of this.
你的那些动作我一个也不想看到 I don't wanna see none of that.
他们不需要匹萨饼 他们那儿有吃的 Don't need no pizza. They got food there.
肘部 离腰部六英寸 Elbows, 6 inches from the waist,
手肘成九十度角 90-degree angles.
不要咬自己的嘴唇 别咬了 Don't you bite your lip. Stop it.
好吗? Ok?
女人会把跳舞和性联系起来 Women relate dancing to sex, all right?
即使是一个舞林高手 做了那些动作也会完蛋的 Even a great dancer can lose it with one of these.
你知道 我正需要学这个 Okay, now that's what I need to be learning.
你阻止不了 你就是阻止不了 Can't stop it. You cannot stop it.
下一个主题 Next subject.
出去 Get out.
谢谢 Thanks.
你是尼克斯队的球迷? So, are you a Knicks fan?
他们打得好的时候 When they're good.
我真的很抱歉 I'm really sorry.
上帝 为什么? (艾蕾歌 再次独身) Oh, God. Why?
她去了? She was there?
我留了一堆留言给你 I left you a bunch of messages.
我的电话掉进哈德逊河里了 My phone fell in the Hudson.
还有更糟的 Yeah, well, it gets worse.
(艾伯特·布莱纳曼是谁?)
我不相信这个 I don't believe this.
我以为他是个保镖 I thought he was a bodyguard.
现在唯一需要保护的就是我 I'm the only one who will need protection around here is me.
- 马克斯会... -会非常生气的 -Max is gonna... -Gonna be really irritated.
当我今早坐上地铁的时候 You know hen I got the train this morning,
我还以为今天会是美好的一天 I thought it was gonna be a good day.
艾伯特·布莱纳曼到底是谁? Who the hell is Albert Brennaman?
解释下这是怎么发生的 Tell me how this happened.
什么啊 老兄? 某个摄影师拍的呗 What? There were some photographers.
你看这个像跳舞吗? Does this even look like dancing to you?
只是有一点点做回真我嘛 That's just a little bit of me being me.
不 艾伯特 这些事情你绝对不能再做了 No, that's you being a lot of something you don't need to ever be again.
- 就一支舞而已嘛 - 不 -It's just one dance. -No.
一支舞 一个眼神 一个吻 One dance, one look, one kiss.
我们只有这些 艾伯特 That's all we get, Albert.
我们只有一个机会来决定 Just one shot to make the difference...
是"后来幸福地生活在一起" 还是 between happily ever after and:
"他只是曾经和我一起出去过的男人" "Oh, he's just some guy I went to some thing with once."
好吗? All right?
怎么了? What?
你说"吻" You said "kiss."
有什么问题吗? Is that a problem?
没什么问题 只是...这是艾蕾歌·科尔 ... It's not a problem, but this is Allegra Cole.
十个女人里有八个相信 Eight out of 10 women believe that the first kiss...
从第一个吻就可以了解这段感情的全部信息 will tell them everything they need to know about a relationship.
另外相信我 她绝对想过了 And believe me, she has definitely thought about it.
她想过了? She has?
当然 她不会表现出来 Of course. Not that she's gonna act on it.
这也没什么要紧的 So it's no real big deal.
是啊 没什么要紧的 All right, it's no big deal then.
非常非常要紧 艾伯特! It's a very big deal.
至关重要 人命关天的重要 Huge. Monumental
你没有在听 You are not listening...
你需要把全部精神都集中都这上面 I need you to wrap your head around this.
明天晚上 艾蕾歌·科尔可能会拥有她最后一次初吻 Tomorrow night, Allegra Cole...could have her last first kiss.
好了 来吧 让我看看你怎么样 All right, come on, just show me what you got.
你是什么意思? What do you mean?
来让我看看你要怎么吻我 Just show me how you would kiss me.
我才不会吻你 I wouldn't kiss you.
我现在不是我 我是艾蕾歌 I'm not me, I'm Allegra.
可你确实不是啊 But you're really not, so...
好吧 艾伯特 Okay, Albert,
玩了一晚上以后 你现在送我到家 end of the night, you're dropping me off at home.
给我展示一下爱情的魔力 Show me the magic.
这样我真的很不自在 I'm not comfortable with this.
上帝 艾伯特 和你在一起我真的好开心 God, Albert, I had such a wonderful time with you.
是啊 尼克斯队打的怎么样? Yeah, how about those Knicks?
你看见我在干什么吗? 这是个信号 明白吗? You see what I'm doing? This is a signal
我在摆弄我的钥匙 I'm fiddling with my keys.
不想接吻的女人 会拿出钥匙 A woman that doesn't want a kiss...takes her keys out,
打开门 走进房间 puts them in the door, goes in the house.
想要接吻的女人 就会摆弄钥匙 A woman that wants to kiss, she fiddles.
我现在就在摆弄呢 I'm fiddling.
好了 晚安吧 Okay, you have a good night now...
看到我在做什么了吗 You see what I'm doing?
- 抢劫我? - 不对 -Robbing me? -No.
大多数男人一看到这个 他们会冲上来索吻 This is what most guys do. They rush in to take the kiss.
不过你不是大多数 But you're not most guys.
接吻的秘密在于 See, the secret to a kiss
完成90%的距离 is to go 90% of the way...
然后停住 and then hold.
停多长时间? For how long?
需要停多长就停多长 As long as it takes...
让她去完成那10% for her to come the other 10%.
好 90-10 记住了 Okay, 90% -10%. Got it.
好了 来吧 放下包袱 Okay, come on. Shake it off.
轮到你了 It's your turn.
今晚真的非常愉快 艾伯特 I had a really nice time tonight, Albert.
我也这么觉得 艾蕾歌 I had a great time tonight, too, Allegra...
有胡子的艾蕾歌 with a beard.
怎么了? What's up?
我感觉不到 I'm not feeling it.
你什么意思? 我已经完成90%了 What do you mean? I came 90%.
我感觉不到你想要 I'm not feeling like you want it.
现在我是艾蕾歌·科尔 你的梦中情人 Look, I'm Allegra Cole, the woman of your dreams.
她的绿眼睛是清澈的欲望之泉 The woman whose green eyes are limpid pools of desire.
向我展示魔力吧 艾伯特 Now, show me the magic, Albert.
- 展示魔力 - 你这是什么意思? - What the hell was that?
向你展示魔力呀 I'm showing you the magic!
我说的是你完成90% 我完成剩下的10% No, I said come 90% and then I come 10%!
你不能一下就100% You don't go the whole 100%!
我还张着嘴呢 艾伯特 你这个过度饥渴的狗... My mouth was open, Albert. You overeager son of a...
除了这个之外 其他方面怎么样? Other than that, how was it?
他们一起来的 一起跳舞 一起离开 They came together, they danced together, and they left together.
他挺可爱 就像牧羊犬一样 He's cute, in a sheepdog kind of way.
就我所知 他非常讨人喜欢 For all I know, he's adorable.
他和她约会的情况下... But him dating her is...
你看起来很紧张 You seem stressed.
我们之间有默契的 You and I had an understanding.
如果你邀请了艾蕾歌 你应该给我打电话的 If you invite Allegra, you're supposed to call me.
萨拉 我没有邀请她 I didn't invite her.
说实话亲爱的 我以为她还在欧洲呢 Honestly, sweetie, I thought she was still in Europe.
所以你邀请了艾伯特 So you invited Albert?
没有 这儿写着票是给一个叫阿列克斯·希奇斯的 No. Look, it says here the tickets went to some guy named Alex Hitchens.
留言机 Machine.
嗨 我是萨拉 Hi, it's Sara.
我只是想说谢谢你... I just wanted to say thank you...
给我那么难忘的一天 for an unforgettable experience...the other day.
如果你还想要你的衬衫的话 And if you ever want to see your shirt again...
你可以今晚8点到菲尔顿市场来 you can come by the Fulton Fish Market tonight, around 8:00.
再见 Okay, bye.
你认为他会来? Do you think he'll show?
是的 他这样的选手 不会容忍自己有不良记录的 Yeah. He's too much of a player to have a bad date on his record.
你把这当作是消息来源还是约会? Is this a source or a date?
消息来源 A source.
听起来像个约会 Well, it sounded like a date.
这个嘛 本来应该是的 Well, it was supposed to.
那么看起来是个约会 So it looks like a date
听起来也是个约会 and it sounds like a date...
- 可实际上不是约会 - 对 没错 -but it's not a date. -Yeah. Right.
只是问一下 Just checking.
我不确定你有没有收到留言 I wasn't sure you got my message.
我不确定你有没有打错电话 I wasn't sure you called the right guy.
你一定是上次没吃够苦头 You must be a glutton for punishment.
或者是我真的想报复你 Either that or I really wanna pay you back.
我想这个是你的 I think this is yours.
谢谢 Thank you.
我要把它镶起来 然后挂在我的耻辱墙上 I'm gonna frame this for my wall of shame.
真的吗 你有整一面墙的耻辱? Really? There's a whole wall?
我们去干什么? So what are we getting into?
以前去过美食大赛吗? Ever been to a food rave before?
每月一次 在全市的各个地方 Happens once a month, all around the city.
不同的厨师 不同的地点 Different chefs, different venues.
你在厨房里怎么样? You any good in the kitchen?
我可以受得了那个热度 如果你是这个意思的话 I can stand the heat, if that's what you mean.
很好 因为我老板和他老婆就在那边 Good. Because that's my boss and his wife right over there.
有意思 Interesting.
概念是这样的 我们交钱来煮我们自己的饭 Well, here's a concept: We're paying to cook our own food.
另外一个概念是 闭嘴 这是一场晚间约会 Here's another concept: Shut up. It's an evening out.
结婚时间越长 一起出去的次数就越少 The longer you're married, the less you go out.
再有一两年 In a couple of years,
我们就要在家里发霉了 we're gonna end up bricked into our apartment like a Poe story.
那么露易丝 你也是做报纸的? So, Louise, are you in the newspaper business, also?
不 我是个精神病医生 No, I'm a psychiatrist.
我今晚再也不说话了 Well, that's the last thing I'm gonna say tonight.
萨拉 你还没告诉我 So, Sara, you never told me.
那天晚上天空工作室的 那个时尚展示怎么样? How was the Sky Studio fashion thing you went to the other night?
你碰到任何值得一提的人了吗? Did you meet anyone worth mentioning?
没有 No.
真的? Really?
我觉得非常奇怪 I find that very odd.
马克斯 我觉得你很奇怪 Max. I think you're being odd.
我一直都很奇怪 Well, I'm always odd.
这就是你嫁给我的原因 It's why you married me.
也是我娶了你的原因 And it's why I married you.
那么 希奇 Speaking of which, Hitch...
你对我们可爱的萨拉有什么企图? what exactly are your intentions for the lovely Sara?
等等 你知道吗? Wait, you know what?
事实上我碰到了值得一提的人 Actually, there was someone.
我想我碰到了你的朋友艾伯特和艾蕾歌 I think I met your friends Albert and Allegra.
我的朋友谁和谁? My friends who and who?
- 艾蕾歌·科尔? - 真的? -Allegra Cole? -Really?
你怎么认识她的? How do you know her?
我不认识 I don't.
那你是认识艾伯特 So you know Albert?
以前认识 Knew.
- 他有入场券 - 我是说 -He had your tickets. -I mean,
你和你的会计能有多熟呢? how well do you really know your accountant?
4月15号报税日之后就不用再见他了 April 15, and then you don't see him again
直到4月15号 till April 15.
女士们先生们 Ladies and gentlemen...
加柠檬黄油的扇贝 a coquille St. Jacques with a lemon butter reduction.
- 是我们厨师的特别奉献 - 谢谢 Compliments of our chef. -Thank you.
我肯定你们会喜欢的 I'm sure you're really gonna enjoy this.
真好吃啊 That's really good.
你...给我留下了很深的印象 I'm very impressed.
为什么? Why is that?
你知道 You know,
和这两人打交道 别人都迫不及待地 Around these two, people usually can't wait
提那些名人好抬高自己的身价 to name-drop and dish their friends...
而你是那么地慎重 and you're being all discreet.
是啊...非常可爱 Yeah, it's quite endearing.
的确是 Actually, it is.
那好 我们为什么不换个话题呢? So why don't we change the subject?
- 你没事吧? - 我没事 -Are you all right? -Yeah. No, I'm fine.
萨拉告诉我 So Sara tells me
你是个咨询顾问 希奇 that you're a consultant, Hitch.
对 Yeah,
基本上是市场啦 广告啦 品牌管理什么的 mostly marketing, little advertising, brand management.
我 完全不懂那些是干什么的 I have no idea what that means.
没人懂 所以我才能收那么多钱 No one does. That's why I get to charge so much.
你确定你没事吗? Are you sure you're all right?
对 我没事 Yeah, I'm fine.
你们有没有觉得这里痒啊? 还是只有我? Is it itchy in here or is it just me?
我知道了 I know what's happening.
不 不 No.
你认为我处在很紧张的状态中... You think that I'm in a stressful state...
因为我想要留下好印象 because I'm trying to make a good impression...
还要顾及我是不是真的投入的问题 while also dealing with my commitment issues...
试图避免那些尴尬的谈话 trying to avoid all these awkward conversations.
不...我...我想你是食物过敏了 No, I think you have food allergies.
什么? What?
苯那君(抗过敏药)? 苯那君在什么地方? Benadryl, Where's the Benadryl?
- 2号通道 - 哪条是2号通道? -Aisle 2. -Which one's Aisle 2?
就是上面挂着很大的2的通道 The one with the big 2 over it.
萨拉 我没事 Sara, I'm fine.
你确定是2号通道? You sure it's in Aisle 2?
不 No.
真的 没有那么严重 Really, it is not that serious.
苯那君 Benadryl
得要很多苯那君 很多很多... A lot of Benadryl. A lot.
什么? 你... What? Are you...
扇贝 死亡食物! Coquille St. Jacques. Death on a leaf!
快点! Come on!
好了 我们现在没事了 Okay, we're doing fine.
再走两个街区 你就可以躺下了 Just a couple more blocks and you get to lie down.
等等 这首歌是谁唱的来着? Wait, who sings that song again?
我的姑娘 是地火风乐队啊 Oh, girl, Earth, Wind & Fire.
那你应该让他们来唱 You should let them sing it.
我打赌这个加点冰的话一定很棒 I bet this would be great on the rocks.
不错 对吗? It's good, right?
我打赌我现在可以问你任何问题 I bet I can ask you just about anything right now.
不 不 不 No.
我是个保险库 宝贝 已经上锁了 I'm a vault, baby. Locked down.
艾蕾歌和个注册会计师在一起干什么? What is an heiress doing with a CPA?
他们要去看尼克斯队的比赛 They're going to the Knicks game.
是啊 你的嘴真的很严啊 Yep, Fort Knox.
他非常爱她! He loves her so much!
我知道 I'm sure he does.
我告诉你 I'm telling you,
人们整个一生都在试图寻找 他们存在的理由 people search their whole lives trying to find the...
- 他们存在的理由... - 我不知道 -Reasons that we're here... -I wouldn't know.
等你见到就知道了 You would if you saw it.
可有时候就是一叶障目 不见泰山 Sometimes it's really hard to see the forest through the leaves.
你呢? 你爱过吗? What about you? You ever been in love?
爱过 Yep.
不过你永远不会知道的 But you're never gonna know that.
好吧 Okay.
我觉得你果汁喝得够多了 I think you've had enough of the juice box.
走吧 Let's go.
这地方不赖呀 This is some place.
你一个人住? You live here alone?
对 实际上我比较喜欢这样 Yeah. I actually prefer it that way.
你呢? What about you?
我从大学毕业就没和别人一起住过了 I haven't had a roommate since college,
- 我大学室友后来和我姐姐结婚了 - 真的? -and he upped and married my sister. -Really?
是啊 他们马上要有孩子了 Yeah, they're gonna have a baby soon.
希奇舅舅 Uncle Hitch.
谢谢 Thank you.
你现在感觉如何? So, how do you feel?
不错 Good.
很放松 Relaxed.
你呢? 有兄弟姐妹吗? So what about you? Any siblings?
有姐妹 Sister.
玛丽亚 Maria.
住在华盛顿 Lives in D.C.
妹妹 是吗? Younger, right?
能从你的声音里听出来 I could hear it in your voice.
有点那种天生想保护的感觉 Sort of an innate protective thing.
我猜是吧 Yeah, I guess.
- 怎么了? - 她有一次差点没命了 -What? -She almost died once.
我当时10岁 I was 10.
我们在... We were...
我们在家后边的池塘里滑冰 We were skating on the pond behind our house...
她掉进了冰窟窿 and she fell through the ice.
我爸爸把她拉出来了 My dad pulled her out.
给她人工呼吸 Gave her mouth-to-mouth.
那是我生命中最长的三分钟 Longest three minutes of my life.
当然了 Yeah, I'm sure.
我觉得我至今都没恢复过来 I don't think I've ever really gotten over it.
某种程度上决定了你的个性 对吗? Kind of defines you, doesn't it?
就好像 You know like,
这一分钟你还在天空翱翔 one moment you're gliding along...
下一分钟你却站在雨里 the next moment you're standing in the rain watching your life fall apart.
看着自己的生命崩溃 watching your life fall apart.
是雪 不是雨 Except it was snow.
对啊 我说的就是雪 Yeah. That's what I said, "snow."
你说的是雨 You said "rain."
某种降水过程吧 Some kind of precipitation.
那么 你的经历也跟这类似吗? Is that what happened to you?
并不像掉进冰窟窿这么有戏剧性 Nothing as dramatic as falling through the ice.
你知道 的确... You know...
绝对是 it definitely...
留下了伤痕 对吗? Left a scar?
对 Yeah.
最好是 I guess it's best
根本不去爱 对吗? just not to love at all, right?
或者根本不去滑冰 Or skate.
希奇? Hitch?
你在吗? Are you here?
萨拉 你可真是个白痴 Sara, you're such an idiot! You moron!
你到底在胡思乱想什么 What the hell did you think?
你什么时候才能学会 When are you gonna learn...
你这个大笨蛋! 你得吸取教训了 萨拉 You're so stupid! You gotta learn, Sara.
要不我等会儿再来? Should I come back later?
我以为你走了 I thought you left.
我是走了 不过又带着早饭回来了 Well, I did, but then I came back with breakfast.
我想我至少能做这个 I figured it was the least that I could do.
我不知道你想喝什么 I didn't know what you were drinking
所以我弄了一大杯浓咖啡 so I got a grande cap, a latte,
还有绿茶 还有带个"柴"字的什么东西 an Earl Grey tea...and something with "chai" in the title.
我喝茶好了 Tea for me.
茶! 我就希望你要喝茶 Tea. Yes! I was hoping you'd say that.
上帝 你是个早起的鸟儿 对吗? Oh, God. You're a morning person, aren't you?
就像我总是告诉我的客户 Well, like I always tell my clients:
每一天都有自己的目标 Begin each day as if it were on purpose.
- 天气真美 - 是啊 -Beautiful day. -Yeah.
- 女孩也很美 - 谢谢 -Beautiful girl -Thank you.
我走这边 Well, I'm this way.
我走那边 I'm that way.
给我戒指(和电话铃谐音) 有时间的话 Give me a ring sometime.
我是说电话 I mean, on the phone.
我知道 一定会的 No, I definitely will.
好 Good.
我得上班了 I gotta go to work.
好吧 Ok.
再见 Bye.
再见 Goodbye.
你能相信今天有多美好吗 Can you believe what a beautiful day it is.
不是吗 not?
怎么了 小南瓜? What's wrong, pumpkin?
我太蠢了 I'm so stupid.
我没听你的建议 去赴了那个约会 I ignored your advice. I went on that date.
和谁? With who?
不是那个内衣男吧 Not the lingerie guy.
文斯·曼森 Vance Munson.
你是对的 他不可能有母亲 And you're right, there's no way he ever had a mother.
真的? That bad?
他带我去了斯卡林酒店 He took me to Scalinatella,
他非常温柔体贴 and he was affectionate and sweet.
说了好多体己的话 He told me all these intimate things,
比如他食不知味啦 他想要3个孩子啦 like how he can't taste food...and he wants three kids.
那你和他睡了 So you slept with him.
我从来没见过穿衣服这么快的人 I never seen anybody get dressed that fast.
凯茜 我真太难过了 Case, I'm so sorry.
也许我就是会孤独终老 Maybe I'll just die alone after all.
不 你不会的 No, you won't.
你会遇到一个好人 带着甜蜜的微笑 You'll meet a great guy with a great smile
你们会一起环游世界 and you'll travel the world together.
你是谁? 你对我好朋友做了什么? Who are you? What're you doing to my best friend?
是真的 他只不过还没找上你 不过他会的 It's true. He just hasn't found you yet. But he will.
知道他离开的时候说什么吗? Just as he's leaving, guess what he says:
"约会博士 去死吧" "Date Doctor, my ass."
那是什么意思? What does that mean?
就是说他真的存在 It means he's really out there.
如果让我遇到他 And if I ever meet him,
他就需要去和真正的医生约会了 the only date he's gonna need is with a real doctor.
就是他 That's him.
文斯? Vance?
是你吗? is that you?
- 对 你好啊 - 你好 -Yeah, hey there. -Hi.
你真漂亮 beautiful
萨拉·梅拉斯 标准报的 Sara Melas, from the Standard.
我想和你谈谈你和凯茜·萨德里克约会 I'd like to discuss the dating consultant you hired...
之前雇的那个约会博士 before you went out with Casey Sedgewick.
你不想谈 没关系 You don't wanna talk, that's fine.
我还是会照写不误的 I'm going to write this anyway.
你刚给自己赢得了一张 配黑体字说明的照片 You just earned yourself a photo with a boldface caption.
什么? 你行 What? Nice.
我能想像交易所的那些家伙 I can only imagine
看到那些照片会有什么反应 how the trading floor guys will react when they see this.
你没有真凭实据 You have no proof, no facts.
文斯 我是"流言蜚语"的专栏记者 不是检察官 Vance, I'm a gossip columnist, not the DA.
好吧 你要多少钱? Okay, how much will it cost me to stay out of this?
我不要钱 我要那个名字 I don't want money. I want a name.
- 我不知道他的名字 - 那你知道什么? -I don't know his name. -Well, what do you know?
我知道这个 I know this.
就为了那次无聊的上床 麻烦真多 All this for a lousy lay.
这回行了吧? Are we satisfied?
差不多了 Almost.
你...你一定会遭... No, you... You got to be...
真的有必要吗? Is this really necessary?
你看了你的背吗? Have you seen your back?
没有 我看了我的前面 No, but I see my front
我们应该从仰卧起坐开始 and maybe we should be starting with some sit-ups.
上帝 我的特洛伊女神啊 God! Mother of Troy!
喂? Hello?
真奇妙 That's crazy.
光是听到你的声音就能让我微笑 Just hearing your voice makes me smile.
你好吗? How are you?
很好 我想... I'm good, I think.
事实上 你知道吗 No, actually, you know what?
也许有点奇怪 不过... I feel a little strange.
我很好 I'm good.
乔治亚的甜麦糠啊 Sweet Georgia Brown!
什么声音? What was that?
只是有人在尖叫 No, that's just some guy screaming.
你在什么情况下会把 Listen, is there any context...
切除面部腺瘤 under which you'd consider facial edema
或者药物干扰治疗算作约会? and pharmaceutical intervention a date?
应该不会发生 Probably not.
再来一次怎么样? How about a do-over?
你到底想干什么吧? What do you have in mind?
晚饭 在我家 Dinner, my place.
我的意思是毫无疑问 I mean because obviously going anywhere public with you
带你去外面的地方肯定没戏 is out of the question.
上帝! 行了! 行了 非常感谢 God! That's it. I don't like you very much.
- 什么声音? - 呃...是某种... -What is that? -Wait, I'm getting up.
是个美容秀 It's like one of those makeover shows.
- 是个美容秀? - 丹麦风格的 -That's a makeover show? -It 's Danish.
快好了 Almost done!
星期五? Friday?
不行 我答应朋友要去参加速配节目 Can't. I told a friend I'd go speed dating.
是那种...道义上的支持 You know, for moral support.
不过明天我有空 But tomorrow I'm free.
太好了 Great.
- 八点? - 好 -All right, 8:00? -Great.
好吧 再见 All right. Bye-bye.
再见 Bye.
看到了吧 也不是那么糟 对吗? See, it wasn't so bad, was it?
上帝! God!
20秒暂停之后 重新开始比赛 Ball is back in play after a 20-second timeout.
第一节 尼克斯队12比6领先灰熊队 Knicks lead the Grizzlies, 12-6, here early in the first quarter.
就是这种感觉 是吗? So this is what this feels like?
"这种"是什么意思? "This" being?
前排的佳座 Great seats,
精彩的比赛 great game.
美妙的... Great...
约会 date.
我是说 多少有点 I mean, sort of.
就我而言 感觉就像是一次... To me, it feels like a...
约会? Date?
对 Yeah.
看她 她看起来多开心 Look at her. She looks so happy.
那样的一个男的 怎么会和她这样的女孩在一起的? How does a guy like that end up with a girl like her?
好嫉妒啊 I am so jealous.
我一直都想学那个 I've always wanted to be able to do that.
- 真的? - 嗯 -Really? -Yeah.
那今天晚上你走运了 Tonight is your lucky night.
先看看你吹 Let's see what you got.
好 准备好了 Okay. You ready?
上帝 对不起 Oh, God. I'm sorry.
我没事 It 's fine.
尼克斯开局打的不错... Knicks off to a great start...
好 就是这样 All right, here's how it works.
中央公园动物园 明天中午 在海狮旁边 Central Park Zoo, tomorrow, noon, by the sea lions.
(动态约会表)
别担心 我会找到你的 No, don't worry. I'll find you.
好 谢谢 All right. Thank you.
对不起 对不起 对不起 It's all right. I'm sorry.
该死! Damn me.
就是那样! That was it!
再来一次 再来一次 You got it. Do it again.
看他们多可爱! Look how cute they are.
谢谢 Thanks.
我今晚很愉快 艾伯特 I had a great time tonight, Albert.
我也很愉快 艾蕾歌 I had a great time, too, Allegra.
晚安 Good night.
晚安 艾伯特 Good night, Albert.
艾蕾歌 Allegra.
嗯? Yes?
等等 Hold on.
我喜欢你的嘴唇 I like your lips.
看起来它也喜欢你 They seem to like you, too.
好了 Ok.
晚安 Good night.
来了吗? Anything?
还没有 Not yet.
不过我照了一些很棒的你咬指甲的照片 But I got some great shots of you biting your nails.
盯着重要的 Well, it's a big story.
- 来了 - 真的? -Incoming. -Really?
- 对 他们正在握手 - 哦上帝 真太好了 -Yep. They're shaking hands. -This is so great.
我等不及要抓住这家伙了 I can't wait to nail this guy.
确定你清晰地照到他脸 Make sure you get a good shot of his face.
- 他长什么样子 - 高个 黑皮肤 挺帅 -What's he look like? -Tall, dark, and handsome.
基本原则 Basic principles:
无论何时 无论何人 无论何种状况 No matter what, no matter who, no matter when.
我好紧张 This is killing me.
杰夫不要和他多绕圈子 Geoff is managing to play it straight.
你喜欢她多长时间了? How long have you been in love with her?
呃... 大概... 两... 两年半了 Her? About two-and-a-half years.
- 你来看吧 - 好 -Take a look. -Ok.
我的名片谁给你的? How'd you get my card?
艾伯特... 艾伯特·布莱纳曼 Albert...Albert Brennaman.
- 很棒的家伙 对吗? - 非常棒 -Great guy, isn't he? -Excellent guy.
怎么...? 萨拉... What? Sara.
萨拉... Sara...
很高兴见到你 杰夫 Pleasure to meet you, Geoff.
嘿...怎么... Hey, what...
我的名片谁给你的? How'd you get my card?
艾伯特... 艾伯特 布莱纳曼 Albert...Albert Brennaman.
- 很棒的家伙 对吗? - 非常棒 -Great guy, isn't he? -Excellent guy.
你确定你想这么做? You sure you want to do this?
我为什么不想? Why wouldn't I ?
那天晚上我们回家的路上 Louise made an interesting observation
露易丝提到这么一个有趣的观察 on the way home the other night.
她说自卫心理很强的人 She said people who are guarded are afraid
都怕你能把他们看穿 that you can see right through them.
这就是为什么他们会躲在... That's why they hide behind
一层层的秘密或者幽默后面 layers of secrecy or humor.
等报道一见报 有他躲的了 He'll have to hide behind a lot more than that once this hits the fan.
她说的是你 She meant you.
你想让我说什么? What do you want me to say?
我是不是曾经喜欢过这个男人? That I like the guy?
是的 当然 我喜欢过 Yeah, sure, I liked the guy.
这样的话 Well,
这是他的衬衫 here's his shirt.
你再想想吧 Why don't you think about it?
给我电话 Call me.
谢谢 Thanks.
什么事? Yeah.
小爹 萨拉·梅拉丝要见你 Papi, Sara Melas is here to see you.
谢谢 拉维 让她上来吧 Thanks a lot, Raoul Send her up.
还有别叫我小爹了 And stop calling me papi.
你今天可真漂亮啊 Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes.
我想这个是你的吧 I believe this belongs to you.
这东西看起来像条烂短裤 Yeah, this thing is like a bad penny.
就是这里啊! Wow! So this is it.
是啊 就是这里 Yeah, this is it.
你生意一定不错 Business must be good.
是啊 生意还不错 Well, it has its rewards.
那当然了! I'll bet.
今天不太顺利? Tough day?
可以那么说 You could say that.
你知道吗 你可以坐在那儿放松一下 Well, you know what? You can just sit back and relax.
我已经把所有都搞定了 I got this all covered.
西班牙酒! Spanish wine!
真是准备的周到啊! How thoughtful are we?
- 我来给你倒 - 不 没关系 -Here, let me pour that for you. -No, that's okay.
你来点儿? You want some?
当然 Sure.
那么 So,
希奇这个名字 Hitch.
是个名词还是动词? Is that a noun or a verb?
我猜要看情况 I guess it depends.
那我们来看看 Let's see,
我们应该为什么干杯呢? what should we toast to?
永远不要说谎 偷盗 欺骗和喝酒 Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink.
但如果一定要说谎(和"躺"谐音)那么要在情人的臂弯里 But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love.
如果一定要偷盗 那么要偷那些坏公司的 If you must steal, steal away from bad company.
如果一定要欺骗 那么欺骗死去的人 If you must cheat, cheat death.
如果一定要喝酒 And if you must drink
那么要在令人窒息的时刻喝 drink in the moments that take your breath away.
是你刚编的吗? Did you just make that up?
就当是在自己家 Make yourself at home.
我去看一下意大利肉汤饭 I'm gonna check on the risotto.
看这个! Look at this!
哪个键是音乐? Which one's the music?
还能控制灯光! It does lights, too?
我来帮你吧 Let me help you out with that.
这个 这个东西太好了 Now, this is nifty.
你在干什么 What are you doing?
到底是怎样的程序? How does it work, exactly?
一般情况下 Well, usually
先吃正餐 然后是甜点 you have dinner, then you have dessert.
不 不 No, no.
不 我是说你蒸蒸日上的生意 No, I mean your thriving business.
我不接受采访 I don't do interviews.
如果你想回到今晚的主题 But if you'd like to get back to the evening,
我很愿意坐下来谈谈 I'd be happy to sit and talk.
好主意! 你先来吧! Great idea. You start.
如果你不这么纠缠不休的话 也许我会的 Well, maybe I would if you werert snarling.
如果我告诉你... What if I told you...
我知道你是做什么的 that I know exactly what you do
而且知道你是怎么做的呢? and how you do it?
我觉得很卑劣 And I think it's despicable!
你知道吗? You know what?
我们也许应该出去吃饭 We might need to go out to dinner.
是啊 我想带你去一个很好的海鲜饭馆 There's a great seafood restaurant I'd love to take you to.
你去找一把好菜刀吧 屠夫? How about you just get a cleaver, butcher?
也许我会的! Maybe I will!
你到底是怎么了? What the hell is wrong with you?
一个头版报道也治不好我 Nothing a front-page story can't cure.
那么 就是因为这个? So that's what this is all about?
用艾伯特和艾蕾歌来填你们的烂报纸 Albert and Allegra on the front of your crap-ass newspaper?
是你把他们登上去的 You put them there!
不 是你 No, you did!
是他自己 在他给你打电话的那一分钟就决定了! No, he did! The minute he called you!
希奇 听我说 小爹 Dr. Hitch. Listen to me, papi.
我要带我的老婆艾咪儿 去个令人惊叹的地方过周年纪念 I need to bring my partner, Amir,
去个令人惊叹的地方过周年纪念 somewhere amazing for our anniversary.
也许这不是你的业务 不过也许是 Maybe it's not your thing, but maybe it is.
你说什么呢 拉维? What the hell are you talking about, Raoul
这是你 不是吗? It's you, no?
(年度最佳教练 这个人能让"你"和艾蕾歌·科尔上床吗?)
我的朋友 So, my friend,
她怎么样? how was she?
很不错 是吧? Pretty good?
这不是那个约会医生吗? Isn't that the Date Doctor?
- 不 不是他 - 我告诉你 就是他... -No, it's not him. -I'm telling you, that's him.
他不是这个样子的 He doesn't look anything like him.
对不起 对不起! Excuse me, excuse me!
- 你认识他吗? - 不认识 -Do you know him? -No.
我要你看着我的眼睛说 他没有雇用过你 I want you to look me in the eye and tell me that he did not hire you.
女士 我这辈子从来没见过这个人 Ma'am, I have never seen this man before in my life.
再见 托尼 See you later, Tony.
什么 托尼? 你给我解释清楚! Tony? You have got some serious explaining to do.
艾伯特 我是希奇 你还好吧 Albert. Hitch. You all right?
我现在不太方便讲话 我被绑起来了 I can't really talk right now. I'm kind of tied up.
女士们坐着不动 Women will remain seated.
铃一响男士们就往左移 Men will rotate to the left at the buzzer.
你们每人有两分钟 一共四分钟 You get two minutes each, four minutes total
当你们听到这个 就可以开始了 So trade your talk time when you hear the gong.
如果你们互相感兴趣 记下电话号码 If it's mutual, you get numbers.
如果不感兴趣 那么祝下次好运 If not, better luck next time, okay?
女士们 请坐吧 Ladies, take your seats.
凯茜 你是精神胜利的活见证 Case, you are a living testimonial to the triumph of hope over experience.
谢谢你来 Thanks for coming.
我知道很差劲 I know it's lame.
我知道你一定不会喜欢这个的 I'm sure it's the last thing you feel like doing.
相比较那些更浪漫的作曲家而言 我更喜欢拉赫马尼诺夫 I really prefer Rachmaninoff to the heavier romantic composers.
如果不管他的日尔曼人的反犹太情绪的话 But despite the pan-Germanic anti-Semitism...
我还是得说我的最爱是瓦格纳 I'd still have to say my favorite is Wagner.
- 好的 谢谢 再见 - 再见 -Nice talking to you. -Thank you. Bye.
再见 Bye.
对不起 Excuse me.
这是我的座位 哥们儿! That's my seat, man.
我叫朗 28岁 My name is Ron. I'm 28.
艾伯特·布莱纳曼是个好人 Albert Brennaman is a good man.
事实上他是个非常好的人 In fact, Albert Brennaman is a great man.
我刚从一段5年的感情中解脱出来 I just got out of a five-year relationship.
我喜欢开派对 我喜欢养狗 I'm a lot of fun at parties. I like dogs.
你生我的气是 And then you're mad at me
因为我赖以谋生的手段? for what I do for a living?
我已经有你的电话了 I've already got your number
你为什么去咨询咨询你的良心? so why don't you go consult your conscience?
- 艾伯特爱她 - 是吗 就像那个塞巴斯蒂安? -Albert is in love with her. -Just like Sebastian?
有什么问题吗? Is there a problem?
- 没有 马上就好 - 你对艾蕾歌哪点不满? -No, just one sec. -What do you have against Allegra anyway?
没有! Nothing.
我的兴趣是保护女人们 不受你这样的混蛋的伤害! My interest is protecting women from assholes like you.
我攀过一次冰 I did ice climbing once.
- 你根本就不了解我! - 那是谁的错呢? -You don't even know me. -And whose fault is that?
太阳一出来 冰就开始崩塌了 the sun comes up, the ice really starts to fall apart.
对 对不起 你认识他吗? I bet. I'm sorry. Do you know this guy?
当然不认识 Apparently not.
你坐了我的座位 You're in my seat.
你真是...我在帮你的忙 相信我 You really...I'm doing you a favor, believe me.
基本上 我喜欢户外活动 Basically, I like outdoor sports.
室内活动也不错 But indoor sports have their place, too.
我的工作的某些方面是秘密的 There are certain aspects of my job that are secretive.
而我的工作就是试图找到真相 And my job is to try to find the truth.
真相 是吗? The truth?
真相砸到你的头你也不会知道的! You wouldn't know the truth if it kicked you in the head.
如果艾伯特·布莱纳曼 必须要付出代价的话 If Albert Brennaman has to take a fall for it,
那也没有办法! so be it.
为什么你不说 你究竟是为了什么生气? Why don't you say what's really pissing you off?
好了 朋友 我已经在这儿等着要和她谈话... I've been waiting to talk to her...
-你要坐下来?来吧 来吧 - 谢谢你 -You want to sit down? Here you go. Gong! -Thank you.
对不起 Excuse me.
实际上 你不应该移动 他...可是...呃.... Hi. Actually, you're not supposed to move.
我叫阿列克斯·希奇斯 I'm Alex Hitchens.
不 不 不 没关系 No, it's okay. Go.
- 我叫凯茜 - 嗨 凯茜 -I'm Casey. -Hi, Casey.
我在一个小出版公司的新闻处工作 I work for a small publishing house in the press department
可我并不想在那里工作 which isn't actually where I want to be.
可你知道那的确是一家不错的出版社... But it's a good house...
你利用了我 操纵了我 还研究我! You handled me. You manipulated me.
你给我看了我曾曾祖父的签名 You researched me and you showed me my great-grandfather's signature.
等等 你就是那个埃利斯岛? Wait. You're Ellis Island?
我觉得那非常讨人喜欢 I thought that was real sweet.
谢谢你 Thank you.
凯茜 你在帮倒忙! Case, you're not helping.
对不起 我这儿正约会呢! Excuse me, I'm on a date.
女人有没有可能碰到 Does it ever occur to women that
一个想要有长远规划的男人 maybe a guy might like to have a plan
因为他紧张 you know because he's nervous?
他不确定如果他走到你面前 He's not sure that he could just walk up to you
说"我喜欢你"的话你会怎么反应 and you'd respond if he said:
我喜欢你! "I like you."
听上去不错 That sounds good to me.
千真万确 你不能直接告诉她你喜欢她 True, you can't tell them you like them.
是啊 我试了一次效果不太好... I tried that. It didn't go well.
我也有过这样的失败的经历 I've crashed and burned on that.
你就是那么干的! 我当时的确喜欢你! That is what you did, and I did like you!
我只是不知道我是被某个职业玩家耍了! I just didn't know I was being worked over by some professional
他没有挂数字牌! He doesn't have a badge.
你唯一真诚和自然的时刻 The only time he was sincere or spontaneous...
就是把一切都搞糟的时候 was when everything was going wrong
或者是醉得不省人事的时候! or when you were stoned out of your head.
抱歉打断你们 我认识你吗? I'm sorry to interrupt. Do I know you?
不 我想不认识 No, I don't think so.
你想要见到自然的我吗? You wanna see me be spontaneous?
当然 你想要苯那君吗? Sure, you want a Benadryl?
你们这样这太让人分神了! This is really kind of distracting.
我都一年没有过性生活了! And I haven't gotten laid in a year!
我们很抱歉 你们为什么不回到你们的约会当中 We're sorry. Why don't you guys get back to your date?
或者去个什么地方呢? Or go somewhere.
也许是在银行碰见过? Maybe from the bank?
如果这个速配不成功的话 你们可以给他打电话 If this doesn't work out, call him.
他也许能帮你们勾搭上帕丽丝·希尔顿呢(著名花花女) He might hook you up with Paris Hilton.
没错 你是那个 Wait, that's it.
你是那个约会医生 是吗? You're the Date Doctor, right?
你就是那个约会医生? You're the Date Doctor?
这里有什么问题吗? Do we have a problem here?
没错! 大问题! Yeah, a big one!
我到底对你做过什么 嗯? What the hell did I ever do to you?
对不起...我是听漏了什么事情吗? I'm sorry...Am I missing something?
先生 我不得不请你离开了 Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
你为什么不和你的朋友文斯 去色情酒吧呢? Why don't you go hit a titty bar with your buddy Vance?
我真不敢相信 I don't believe this.
那就是你的消息来源? That's your source?
你自作自受 阿列克斯 You buried yourself, Alex.
你没听我说吗 Then you weren't listening.
我每个字都听见了 I heard every word.
你是个诡计大师! You're a scam artist.
你骗女人们... You trick women into getting...
去掉她们自己的障碍 into getting out of their own way
所以像艾伯特·布莱纳曼这样的好人 至少能有一个机会 so great guys like Albert Brennaman have a fighting chance.
我想让这里的每一个人都好好看看 No, I want everybody to take a good look at this right now.
因为这个 就是这个 Because this right here...
这就是为什么爱上一个人那么的难 this is exactly why falling in love is so goddamn hard.
先生 我们走吧! Sir, let's go. Now.
文斯·曼森是个猪头 And Vance Munson is a pig!
我拒绝和他合作 And I refused to work with him.
你要把你的事实搞清楚 You need to get your facts right.
就是因为有他那样的混蛋 我才能有我的工作 It's because of jerks like him that I even have a job.
曾经有的工作 Had a job.
你相信那个家伙吗? Can you believe that guy?
说实话 Actually,
我相信 I do.
你...让我完整 You...complete me.
- 不是只有... - 别说了 -I might just have... -Shut up.
别再说了 Just shut up.
我第一眼就爱上了你 You had me at "hello."
无可奉告 No comment.
这是私下的谈话 This is off the record.
我是来道歉的 I came to apologize.
我对你做了一些假设 I made some assumptions about you
而事实证明它们是毫无根据的 based on nothing, it turns out.
我 呃... And I...
我猜凯茜是对的 我最好的朋友... I guess Casey's right. My best friend...
别担心 我们之间没有什么 Don't worry about it. We're straight.
只是我应该先问问你 I should 've asked you.
可是有时候 你的自卫心理那么的强 But sometimes you're so guarded.
而我只是不想成为你另一个... I just don't wanna be another reason for you to...
我不是那种错过了某一个时刻 还要再回头的人 I'm not someone who likes to get involved past a certain point.
而那一时刻... And that point...
就在一个星期之前 was about a week ago.
那样的话 Well,
我只想说我真的很抱歉 I just want to say I'm really sorry
而且我不是有意要伤害你 and I didn't mean to hurt you.
你没有 You didn't.
那我就解脱了 That's a relief.
兄弟 过得怎样 Hey, fella.
我很好 你呢? Yeah, good. You?
你那是什么东西? What you got there?
这个? This?
我觉得也许心脏停止跳动 I figured maybe if my heart stops beating,
都没有这么痛 it wouldn't hurt so much.
她不回电话? She hasn't called back?
想来点咖啡吗? You want some coffee?
我想让你来处理 I want you to fix it.
我什么也没有 艾伯特 I got nothing, Albert.
你想干点儿什么吗? 也许我今晚应该出去玩玩 You wanna do something? We should get out tonight.
说实话 Honestly,
我从没有过这种感觉 I never knew I could feel like this.
我发誓...我要...疯掉了 I swear I'm going out of my mind.
我想从纽约的每一栋楼上跳下去 I wanna throw myself off of every building in New York.
看见一辆出租车就想跳到它前面撞死 I see a cab and I wanna dive in front of it,
因为... because...
那样的话我就可以不再想她了 then I'II stop thinking about her.
你会的 只是... Look, you will. Just...
需要时间 give it time.
问题就在这里! That's just it.
我不想那样 I don't want to.
我等了一辈子来感受这种可怜的感觉 I've waited my whole life to feel this miserable.
如果只有这样我才能和她有关系的话 If this is the only way I can stay connected with her
那这就是我唯一的选择 then this is who I have to be.
不 你不会的 No, you don't.
你可以改变 你可以适应 You can change, you can adapt.
你可以挺过去 然后你就不会有这样的感觉了 You can make it so you don't ever have to feel like this.
永远不再有 Ever again.
你没有明白 对吗? Oh, my God. You just don't get it, do you?
不 我明白了 I get it.
我直说吧 Let me get this straight.
你在卖这个产品 You're selling this stuff,
而你却不相信你的产品 but you don't believe in your own product.
- 爱情是我的生命 - 不 爱情是你的工作 -Love is my life. -No. Love is your job.
你想不带降落伞从飞机上跳下去 请自便 You wanna jump out a plane without a chute, be my guest.
如果我不跟你一起的话 别责怪我 But forgive me if I don't join you.
爱情在你眼中根本不值一提 对吗? This isn't about love for you at all, is it?
对 Yeah.
我一直以为自己才是个懦夫 This whole time, I thought I was the coward.
- 你去哪儿? - 高空跳伞! -Where you going? -Skydiving.
艾蕾歌...艾蕾歌 Allegra...Allegra
艾蕾歌 Allegra
出租车! Taxi!
艾蕾歌 Allegra
出租车! Taxi!
希奇斯先生 Mr. Hitchens.
科尔小姐 非常感谢你能见我 Miss Cole, thank you very much for seeing me.
你说事关生死 You said it was a matter of life and death.
那个男人愿意出卖自己的灵魂来使你快乐 That man would 've sold his soul to make you happy.
那你成什么了? So what does that make you,
魔鬼? the devil?
我的工作不是欺骗 科尔小姐 My job is not to deceive, Miss Cole.
是创造机会 It's to create opportunities.
就像那次在会议室? Like the boardroom?
不那样的话你会注意到他吗? Would you have noticed him otherwise?
会的 Yes.
真的? Really?
总会有的 Eventually.
也许会的 Maybe.
你怎么知道关于我的一切的? How did you know all that stuff about me?
你真的是做了不少功课啊 Well, you really did your homework.
好比寄宿学校 Like at boarding school
那时每个人都取笑我 因为我不会吹口哨 when everyone used to tease me because I couldn't whistle.
知道我不会跳舞 And having him dance like a buffoon
所以让他像个小丑一样跳舞 knowing that I can't dance, either.
还有告诉他把芥末酱滴到衬衫上 Then telling him to drop mustard on his shirt,
好让我觉得自己也不算那么傻? so I'd feel less like a dork.
那都是你的主意? 对吗? That was all you, right?
不对 根本不是这样 No. Hell, no.
那都是他自己? That was him?
全都有艾伯特的影子 That's got Albert written all over it.
是你让他用的那个口腔清新器 Did you put him up to the inaler?
别说了! 他没有给你看那个! Stop it. He did not show you that.
他吻我之前把那个扔了 He chucked it right before he kissed me.
那么 等等 So, wait...
那东西打动你了? that stuff worked for you?
非常可爱 It was adorable.
那你做了什么? What did you do?
什么也没做 Nothing.
绝对什么也没做 Absolutely nothing.
好啊 这就是你的计划 嗯? That's good. This was your plan the whole time?
艾伯特 Albert.
是你最后抢走了我的女孩? You sail off into the sunset with my girl
艾伯特! Albert.
你曾经就像是我的兄弟 You were like a brother to me!
他是为你而来的 He came here for you.
谁? Who?
你正在掐的家伙 The guy you're choking.
- 我爱你 - 我爱你 -I love you. -I love you.
我真的爱你 I really love you.
我更爱你 真的 I love you more. I love you more. I really do.
我有点事先走了 I got somewhere I gotta go.
谁呀? Yeah, who is it?
希奇 Hitch.
可以和你谈谈吗? Can I talk to you?
什么事? What?
你差点撞到我了 You almost hit me.
我只是路过 Look, I just wanted to stop by,
基本上 basically.
事情是这样的 See, this is the thing.
我 呃... I...
真怪 This is weird.
真不像我 站在门口没话说了 I don't have me behind the door, you know.
闭嘴了 Close your mouth.
我知道到了某个阶段 我会... Because I knew at some point I'd be...
你知道...就是这样 你知道... you know, right here, you know...
我以为... I thought that, you know.
事情都能澄清的 但是... everything would come out, but it's like...
让我撕掉了伪装 That's throwing me off.
能把门关上一会么? Can we close the door?
什么? What?
对不起 我...我只是需要... I'm sorry. Just, can we... I just need...
- 你在开玩笑? - 不 就这样 -Are you serious? -No, just like this.
你想要什么 希奇? What do you want, Hitch?
你! You!
因为一堆我认为很荒谬的理由 For a whole lot of reasons that don't make any sense to me.
我是说...我们一共约会过三次吧? I mean, what, we've been on three dates?
可是你看 这真的是很不可思议 See, that's what's crazy.
真是不可思议 因为我知道 That's what's crazy, because I know.
在深处 在这里 I know deep...like just down, just in this area...
我知道 that i just know
我想要 that I want
我想要变得 I want to be
可怜 miserable.
就是说 Like,
真的非常可怜! really miserable!
但如果非要这样 Because, hey...if that's what it takes
我才能快乐的话 for me to be happy
那么... Then...
等等 说的不对 Wait, that didn't come out right.
- 你到底是怎么回事? - 没怎么回事! -What the hell is wrong with you? -Nothing!
不 不 不 不是说你 No, not you.
我在和自己说话 I'm talking to me.
这是阿列克斯·希奇斯 这是汤姆·里德 Alex Hitchens, Tom Reda.
我把这个放进车里 I'll just put this in the car.
也许就像你说的 Maybe it's like what you said.
我们也许应该走自己的路 We should just both go our separate ways
我们会过得很好 and then we'll do just fine.
要是很好还不够好呢? What if fine isn't good enough?
要是我想要不同凡响呢? What if I want extraordinary?
没有那样的事 No such thing.
我和你一样害怕和逃避 萨拉 I'm just as scared as you are, Sara.
但是我现在就在这里 But I'm right here,
我们的时机就是现在 and our time is right now.
是吗 那以前呢? Well, what about before?
萨拉 我是个男人 Sara, I am a guy.
我们不可能第一次就能让彼此所有方面都契合 Since when do we get anything right the first time?
我是个现实主义者 我知道爱情会怎么改变人 I'm a realist, and I know what love does to people.
不 你不知道 No, you don't.
钥匙 钥匙 Keys. Keys.
进去吧 这里 There you go. Right here.
我不知道这个人是谁 I don't know who this is,
我也不在乎 and I don't care.
我知道的是 What I do know is
他永远不会有像我一样的感觉 he'll never feel about you the way that I do.
你知道怎么开手档车吗? You know how to drive a stick?
你们两个都闭嘴! Both of you, shut up!
- 你没事吧? - 没 我没事 -You okay? -Yeah. No, I'm fine.
你永远都不会没事 我也一样! You'll never be fine, and neither will I!
也许应该我来开 Maybe I should drive.
你想自杀吗? Are you trying to get yourself killed?
如果必须的话 If that's what it takes.
萨拉 出什么事了? Sara, what happened?
他跳到车上面去了! He jumped on the car.
为什么? Why?
因为这就是人该做的事 Because that's what people do.
他们跳起来 希望自己能飞 They leap and hope to God they can fly.
因为如果不这样的话 Because otherwise...
就会像一块石头一样坠落 we just drop like a rock...
坠落的过程中一直在想 wondering the whole way down:
我他妈为什么要跳? "Why in the hell did I jump?"
我就在这里 萨拉 But here I am, Sara,
坠落着 falling.
只有一个人 And there's only one person
能让我有会飞的感觉 that makes me feel like I can fly.
那就是你 That's you.
那么 So,
你是有点喜欢我 是吗? you kind of like me?
不 No.
我爱你 I love you.
我爱你 从第一次我就知道... I love you, and I knew it from the first...
我要是那个时候就这么说 肯定听起来很愚蠢 If I say it back now, it'll sound so stupid.
萨拉! Sara!
玛丽亚 这就是我告诉你的那个家伙 希奇 This is the guy I was telling you about.
希奇 这是我妹妹 玛丽亚 Hitch, that's my sister, Maria.
这是她老公 汤姆 And that's her husband, Tom.
她老公 Her husband.
你的男伴呢? Where's your date?
我没有 I don't have one.
让人吃惊 对吗? I know. Shocking, huh?
噢 我的上帝! Oh, my God!
你还好吧? Are you all right?
奶奶 出什么事了? Grandma, what happened?
这位小姐刚救了我的命 This young lady just saved my life.
请她跳支舞吧 Ask her to dance.
这个... Well,
如果你坚持的话 if you insist.
我叫凯茜 I'm Casey.
我叫查尔思·威灵顿 Charles Wellington.
奶奶... Grandma...
别管了 去吧 Forget it. Just go.
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基本原则就是 Basic principles:
没有什么基本原则 There are none.