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I loved my mother so much
She was a drug addict
She was an alcoholic
She was legally blind
She was a schizophrenic
but I never forgot that she loved me
even if she did it
all the time
Lisa, give me the money! It's mine!
God, it's mine!
[Father] Who's Saint Donalson.
[TV] Who's Saint Donalson.
You freak
[Father] what is Ameba？
Where is it?
Give it to me!
[Father] What is epidermis.
[TV] What is the epidermis. Correct!
Give it to me！
Let go, mom!
I gave a hudred to you！
Just come, I gave 100 to you！to one of you！
We're forced to live on!
Every month! It is ...It's...It's the same damn thing!
[Father] What is genus.
You can put it in your arms, so we can starve!
It's mine!
I didn't take it! Give it to me!
[Father] What is Denmark.
Give it to me! It's mine!
It's mine!
We're hungry.
I can't ! We need food, mom!
What did you ever do for me, huh?! I gave you life!
Tell me go out to the street and sell myself for it? huh?
Do you want me to do it? I know I do it sometimes, right?
[Father] Come on, jinny, what are you saying? She doesn't need to do that！
Oh, My God！
I need it.
[Father] What is Medina.
[Father] Who's Guerra Champion.
[monologue] I wanted that smile. Oh, god! I wanted that smile so much!
I was pathetic, wasn't I?
Don't take the aqueduct! Mummy!
Daddy！
[Father] Who is Carl Deniel
She taking the aqueduct!
What the hell difference does it make？
She'll get mugged！
Who cares!
Dad, we'll cop her, if we can't she'll get mugged! Always a big production!
[Father] Who's Noel Coward
See they fixed the light for a change.
not easy to break them again
No, No, No. She's ok, see the water runs downhill.
There's no water
No, No. Don't you know what aqueduck is? The aqueduct carried water to New York City
for like over a hundred years they did that. And they close it down, but now the ghost water right? He carried your mother along.
[monologue] My father
[monologue] You could sit down on a couch and talk to my father.
[monologue] you just can't talk to him for long.
Hey, Jean !
[monologue] He knew so much. He got all the answers right on JEOPERDY. He was a genius, every answer, every time.
[monologue] That's the thing.
[monologue] Your parends are your Gods.
[monologue] I look to them as an example of what I should find everywhere on the world
[monologue] They paid so little attention to my needs
[monologue] but then I felt that their needs were so powerful that ... It didn't make me feel hurt or angry that they didn't look into me.
[monologue] because I felt ok. This just must to be the human condition to be so.
[monologue] and then the world came in.
You took my husband, you little busterd, I'll kill you.
No mummy
I'm not your mother. I did your favour. I shouldn't have trail on you!
help me clean up this Liz. They see this they're gonna take us, too.
NO! NO! NO! It's my house.
Don't take me！get out! NO！Don't take！
No fasten !
What happened to the window?
She threw the ****.
such you on fire take me ...
come on jean
Why don't take a medication? good girl！
She takes it! She just takes too many other things on top of it...
OK OK
This place is a mess！
What happened here？
I fell down.
Oh oh oh Jean put the knife down
OK OK
all right where's the phone?
we don't have one!
this woman doesn't fit
You're kidding
You girls have choice. clean this place up, help your mother.
How about my father？
Ignore her. She's a ... She's a feminist.
I can take you any time I want. You keep skipping school. You keep living like the animals. [mother] Lizzy Lizzy Lizzy
Hey Hey where are you going? come back here. come back.
You're gonna go to a home. Do you know what home is like? There are girls. They'll be to dult take everything you have.
you can't have anything! you have to clean bathrooms. you'll work there if you don't work here.
back up! back up.
It's not a show! You got nothing better to do huh?
Mummy?
[monologue] Couldn't they see?
[monologue] Anyone could see.
[monologue] She was in so much pain.
[monologue] There were struggles so much on the surface so there if anyone cared to look
[monologue] It wasn't like she was running off from being a good mother to somebody else... She just didn't have any more to give.
Oh, somebody stinks!
What is that?
[monologue] I was always the smelly kid in class.
[monologue] We *** on the bucket to shower, but daddy laughed at her doing, said she had to marry a doctor she has so many expectations. I didn't have any expectations. so therefore, I guess, I stunk.
[monologue] and I itched from *** and it burned between my legs. My teachers were always telling not to finch it.
[monologue] and my underwear. I didn't know what to do about underwear. I just wore it until it fell apart.
[Teacher] All right! people! thank you! rest is over.
[monologue] My teeth ached. I was hungry.
[teacher] settle! thank you!
[monologue] The teacher's words never seemed to reach me. Words just seemed... fall on the floor.
Hold me the test. There's no point that ...
NO, I'll take it.
[teacher] but you've been here what? for 3 times this month?
NO, I'll take it. It doesn't look that hard.
Oh, Liz, stay here.
You do smell, you know? Doesn't your mother tell you that you gonna ...
NO NO It's my fault. I just forget.
OK
Well, when you have shower tonight, you wanna, you wanna wash back here ?
Ah, I've been saving some things for you.
there
and here. How did you do that? You're never in school.
I read a lot.
Yeah? what do you read?
encyclopedia. The laddy upstairs, Eva, she find it in the Dumpster, the whole set ... well, except for the Erdos
If you asked me about Erdos, I would have got it wrong. I was just lucky.
Oh, Lizzy! You have to come to school.
OK
NO, I mean it. Look, it's ridiculous you're way too smart not to be here. I don't understand why don't you come?
I will.
[monologue] How could I tell her that school made me sad.
[monologue] I didn't know how to talk to her. I didn't know how to talk to anyone.
[monologue] My house wasn't a place you could come out of and be normal.
We have to come every day. OK? If you don't, and I will call CHILD WELFARE.That's not a threat. It's a promise.
Eva, look what I've got.
100 !
Yes, encyclopedia
Good, you gotta make good marks. You don't wanna be an idot.
and you keep up now, you hear me? now your mother's back.
My mother's back?
Well, we had a nice quiet couple of months, didn't we?
[monologue] The only good thing about my mother being taking away to the nut house was that when she came back she was my mum again. She cooked and she cleaned more than she even to be a court sonographer.
[monologue] for me, that was a good quiet couple of months before the drugs came back in.
Mummy?
Lizzy.
Are you ok?
I'm ok.
pumpkin, you look real good.
glad you're home, mummy.
you're glad you're home?
This hospital won't too bad.
It's too green, the walls. and there were bars on the windows.
I'm sorry. you had to say that, you know.
but I'm glad you're home.
Look!
Look! I...I got 100!
NO NO. 100 is good. 100 is perfect.
Didn't you ever get 100?
I ain't go to school. I ran away too young. Don't you ever run away from home.
I won't
Liz, I'll always be here for you.
I know, mummy.
I'll always be here. ALWAYS.
I know, mummy.
I'm sick. I'm sick.
Liz, I... I have AIDS.
No No
NO NO NO
baby don't
They say... don't be afraid.
They say... I might... they say I could live forever, ok?
but I can't live here. I gotta go home.
This is home.
No, home to my pop's. I wanna take you and Lisa.
No No mom. you have to stay here.
I can't stop the drugs. and I can't do it when your daddy around.
but you'll be alone.
Liz, this is aready gonna over, just pack up your things and let's go.
No you said pop's gonna beat you. you said he raped your sister.
since what it has to be now.
No, stay here
I can't
stay mummy!
[monologue] Everything was falling apart. I thought if I could stay I could stop it.
[monologue] but if I stayed, everything would somehow stay the same.
Just open the door. It's no use. We know you're in there.
Where's your mother and sister?
They are gone.
Where's your father?
He's gotta get some food, he'll be right back.
Your teacher called.
You're still not going to school.
You're never in school.
We gotta do something about this.
Miss Wonder warned you, I warned you, every one year case workers warned you
This's been going out for years
We all said clean up this place and go to school.
clean up and go to school
You have done neither one of them, have you?
Elizabeth, have you?
No
So what we gonna do?
I don't know.
I do.
You're going into the system.
I'm taking her.
but but things are better now. My daddy buys me big potatos everyday
You're not paying the rent. You're not getting her to school.
I tell her to go. I told you to go to school. She's gotta mind of her own. She's a feminist.
This is not a joking matter.
Pack her suitcase.
Now!
No No No [father] I'm sorry.
I'll go to school. Please!
This isn't working. We need an adult who's responsible.
My grandpa's responsible. My grandpa'll take me. My sister's there.
Your sister goes to school.
I'll go to school, I'll go to school. Please!
Don't make a fass.
I'll talk to him. and if he'll take you. You'll be out in 24 hours.
I'm sorry.
and if he won't?
You'll have time to figure out how you wanna live your life.
[monologue] Figure out my life. Do people really do that?
[monologue] Do they do that while they are falling down into a deep dark hole.
[monologue] buzzed in, locked in. It was like visiting my mother. only I was in the crazy house now.
[monologue] and I didn't get out in 24 hours, I didn't get out in 24 days. No one wanted me. They just left me there.
Why don't you go to school?
That's the big problem we've got here.
Why don't you go?
From what I can see, you've got a discipline problem.
Liz？
Hi, pops
You get your mother.
Jean, come out here. She's here.
I'm leaving for school, but I wanna see you first.
Thanks, Lisa.
Don't screw this up. We're doing ok.
and don't expect too much. She's dying.
Lizzy!
mom
[monologue] When I think of my life. This is the time I like to think of.
[monologue] When I got back. When mother's mind was clear. There was no cocaine. so her schizophrenic seemed about to working.
[monologue] and we go to the cafe, and sit, and talk, and eat hamburgers.
[monologue] We were together. Even with her bad eyes, I think she could see me. Well, she could see my outline.
[monologue] and for a while, I had my mother again.
and we went to park. Yeah, I remember. We used to side down that hill, remember? you put down that old card borad we pretend it was slide.
You remember that?
How about the tickle monster.
Well, we screemed and laughed about that one.
I was a good mom, wasn't I?
Wasn't I?
Yeah, mom, sure, you were fine.
well, I'm real glad we were all together, you know. you and me and Lisa
What if dad went off drugs too. Wouldn't it be great?
Maybe we could even go back to the university avenue.
Yeah... , your dad. He's in a shelter right now. I'm afraid that he lost the apartment. He can not even order the rend, so...
What about my stuff?
got thrown out
all of it, even my encyclopedias?
Look, pumpkin, I'm really sorry, you know, they boardered the whole place. There was nothing we could do.
Just, you know, crap happends, I mean.
Look, you know, I gotta go around the corner and see a few friends. Just for a minute, ok? You finish your burger, and ...
and I'll be right back. just be a minute. baby.
[monologue] so that was that. no going back. I hadn't kept anything together. I've only made things worse.
[monologue] If I would only go to school. If I would only... If I would only.
[monologue] so, that part of my life was over. I guessed the new part had began.
Elizabeth Murray？
and you're her mother？
I'll take you to your class now.
Are you gonna get home ok?
Yeah, I'm gonna see my buddies, you know, they could take care of me.
Maybe I should just come with you.
You gotta stay in the school. They will take you away again, just go go.
so we have nouns, verbs. Chris?
adjective and preposition
[monologue] I wasn't the smelly kid any more. I've learned to shower every day at the group home. and my clothes, even if they came from the thrift shop, all fit. but I still didn't know how to be in school. I still didn't know how to be normal.
People, can we try to settle down?
Chris, would you like to try diagram No. 12?
NO
Bobie
You find it amusing, Miss.
Elizabeth？
Please don't call me that.
It's your name according to these forms.
Liz or Lizzy
Liz or Lizzy is a nick name.
are nick names.
No, I'm afraid not.
Jesus, call the girl she wants to be called.
Elizabeth is a fine name. the name of a queen. The Elizabeth's age was the age of Shakespeare. What's your problem with it?
My mother calls me Elizabeth, when she's going insane.
Liz then.
Bobie, the sentence.
so where did you go to school before this.
I didn't
How did you ***?
I was at the group home.
Is that freaky?
Yeah
but you're not a freak
NO
It's too bad. I am.
My birthday's coming up.
Yeah? When?
You'll know. I'm gonna wear my dad's ***coat.
I'm gonna come to school with nothing on but my *** coat and a pair boots
from far show all the teachers. Happy Birthday.
You don't believe me?
Yeah, I do.
No, you don't.
[music] Ha Ha Ha check it out.
Don't throw it out before me
I won't.
It's a great place, I never had so comfort before.
Pop's gonna cranky. We have to by safe, by the way.
Liz, I'm waiting for the phone, those contest things.
She never gonna win.
Ok, you know what. shut up. I don't care. I just gotta dial his number before I forget it.
Does anybody get high *** news, come on.
Bobie, you*** test's until like a week.
Hey, can I just have that chicken for lunch.
sure
Is this already?
some drunk lady.
Oh, she'll drain on the door.
oh, I'm going out the window.
I don't feel very good. Could you help me, please?
Oh, here she blows.
all right, up
I'm a good mom. I just need a hug, I want a hug.
[monologue] She couldn't take living straight. Why should I expect her to take dying. Isn't dying the hardest thing anyone's ever done?
everyone's gone.
except you
Yeah
so where's your pos gonna sleep?
here
sleep with his daughter?
oh, I don't think like that.
Yeah, but you don't know.
He did her sisiter, when she was real younger. She told me that.
Why her sister, not her?
I figure he did them both.
So her sister crazy, too?
Yeah, and their mother, too.
That's why that I didn't wanna come here.
You know, my mom's getting back with my dad.
I wish my mom would.
He does stuff to my sister.
You don't have a sister.
Lucky for her.
Did you tell your mother?
Yeah, I told her.
but she left him and she cursed him out, she just gonna call the cops and now she's getting back with him.
You know, I asked her how she could do that? and she said she missed him.
She missed him, huh?
I was 7 when he first stuck it in.
Chris, Chris don't.
moving with me.
stay here?
What's your grandfather gonna say?
He won't know. I will. We'll work it out so I never see you.
He won't get up until late from work. He's like a robot, anyway, out at 8
and back at six. out
Pop, she has no place to stay.
It's not my problem. OUT!
Leave her alone. Don't...
Your mother's dying. Your piece of trash father walked out and stuck me with a lot of these. Did I ask my fellows of my age, did they?
What are you doing?
All right, That suits me. You end up a trash anyway, just like your parents.
so I left
You wanna go and get your stuff or you're gonna leave me out here alone
[monologue] Do any of us bargain for our lives? It seems to me that we just fall into them. and we have to do the best we can. Let's go.
[monologue] My mother was dying. My father was gone. but I had to believe there were roads would rise up to meet me. I was 15 when I went out to the world.
[monologue] What's a home anyway. a roof? a bed? a place where when you go there they have to take you .
[monologue] If so, when I was 15, I became homeless.
spare some change? get a job
How ya doing tonight?
God bless you kid.
spare some change?
[monologue] but some times I felt like I never had a home in my life.
Let's go
come back!
[monologue] and another times I knew where ever my mom was, that's where my home was.
[monologue] Month by month, she was fitting away.
Liz?
Where did you go?
I've ... I've been staying with friends.
I miss you.
pops... he hated me and I couldn't stay here.
Lisa said you stop going to school.
I'm gonna go back.
When?
When you get better.
This is me... This is me. I at the bars, 'cause I shake. I can't stop shaking.
I think that's... that's because of the drinking. you should probably stop.
OK OK
You're gonna get better, you know.
I love you mom. mom I love you .
get over there.
Hey guys wait up. I'll catch you later. I'm just gonna... bye
mom
we took up a collection.
She isn't coming here anymore, 'cause she thinks we always laugh at her.
She's dead honey. she died yesterday morning.
[monologue] Sometimes I feel like there's a skin on the world. and those of us who were born under it
[monologue] can see throw it. We just can't get throw it.
[monologue] My mother's being buried under section 51, the charity plot.
[monologue] My mother was in there. strangers had put her in there.
[monologue] Was she naked? was she frightened?
[monologue] No, she was gone.
come on. let's go.
no wait a minute. there should be a service. there should be a priest what's supposed to happen.
When you go, we're gonna bury him. that's all.
It's a SHE!
That's my mother.
There's no priest?
not these cases. you didn't know that?
She's dead. put her into the ground
[monologue] priest no priest. what did it matter. she was gone.
[monologue] She was already rotting.
sorry
[monologue] Was I supposed to believe she found eternal peace?
so you come with us?
just go
Hey wait
[writing] Jean Murray, beloved.
[writing] Mother of Elizabeth and Lisa Murray 1954-1996
OK
Listen, I'm gonna out of here ok?
Liz, just I can't... I can't... I can't do this anymore.
you know, so, I'm going.
Where?
Group home?
crazy house?
This? This is crazy!
You should come with me.
yeah, so, see you around.
[monologue] People die. Things decay. Everything that seemed so solid is meaningless.
[monologue] All that left is gestures we make. gestures and air
[monologue] that's what we remember. I remember riding with my mother through the slips.
[monologue] The year ending. but her arms were warm around me when I was little and she was well.
[monologue] That was long ago. maybe it only happened once.
[monologue] Maybe she betrayed me a thousand times. it didn't matter.
[monologue] math was always a weak subject. we remember what we choose.
get out of there
Where are you gonna put the stone?
It's no stone here. There's no room.
[monologue] In a week, there would be no trace of her. but what did it matter?
[monologue] This wasn't the real world. we really only lived in each other's hearts.
[monologue] She lived in my heart. but I lived no where. I was all alone in the world.
[monologue] you're 16 years old with 8th grade education,
[monologue] and you run down that *** there were ended a worse place that you ever dreamed.
[monologue] you've burned every bridge, you've worned out every welcom and everyone who's ever believed in you. you've let down.
Eva
I don't wanna be an idot. I wanna go to school.
I'm Liz Murray. I have an appointment.
at 9:30?
It's 10:30
I'm sorry, the subway got stucked. I'm sorry, too. but it's really too late.
School started 3 weeks ago. It's just about full.
Kids get here on time, honey.
I read the br***sure "intensive student participation for the development of a just conmunity. "
I just need one chance.
You can wait and talk to David.
but he's got a meeting right after
[question] What is your dream? For your life? For your school.
[monologue] I knew when at that moment I had to make a choice. I could submit to everything that was happening in living life of excuses
[monologue] or I could push myself. I could push myself and make my life good.
Hey, we'll get you by friday.
OK thank you. oh pleasure guys
Elizabeth? Liz
Liz, I'm sorry. We're making our last decisions now. I'm already late.
Can I just talk to you for just a minute? 30 sesonds?
It's the application. It's a whole big essay question, too. I've already done the essay. I really want this.
I haven't had a lot grownups improved to be trustworthy or for the long runs, so maybe I don't know how to talk to you, but ...
My parents both use drugs, a lot of them. I won't go near them, but...
but I guess I, kind of, lived that life style.
I'm embarrassed now about how layback I've been.
I mean, I've never even really been school except for the 8th grade. but
your grades are very good in elementary school
I used to show up last week and take the test, that's how I get promoted.
I'm smart.
I know I can succeed. I just... I just need the chance.
I need the chance to climb out of this place I've been born in.
everyone I know just angry, tired.
They're trying to survive.
but I know that there's a world out there that's better.
That's better developed. I wanna live in it.
why now?
My mother died of AIDS. she died a couple of months ago.
It was real slap on the face.
I guess I always thought that she was gonna get better and take care of me.
It's pretty stupid huh?
she'd never been taking care of me. I took care of her.
She was my baby. But now she's gone.
so ...
now it's time to take care of yourself
Can you get here on time? Liz?
I'll sleep here if I have to.
Ok, you're in.
but you told the others you won't know until friday.
You're in.
Thank you . He just changes my life.
That's worth Miss.
you just fulfill the paper work.
You got your transcrips and that's just the easy stuff address, phone number.
We have to have a meeting with parents or your gardian
get that in. we're good to go.
dad.
Hey, Lizzy.
I need your help, please.
such a production. such a production
Why don't you just stay in the Browx and go to konedy.
I don't know how to go to a normal school.
Why? why? this isn't a normal school?
Oh it's public but it's like private.
dad dad
I think I can do this.
Yeah? that's good. I don't think I can do this.
Yeah you can! you can!
just say you're a long horn truck driver. that's why I just don't ever see you.
We're living with your girl friend now also.
oh you give me a girl friend?
Eva. Eva! oh, that's not good. Eva is old enough to be my mother.
dad. I just need an address you know, a phone number they can call.
They can't know I went homeless.
they'll call the city. and I'll be locked up again.
OK OK
Mr. Murray. I'm Peter. Peter Phinidy
I never actually married Lizzy's mother.
sit down please.
I'm gratefully taking my daughter in this pretty nice place.
we are still new.
we have a big ambition
yeah, so is Liz I guess. She's a feminist.
I'm expecting you know it already.
her mother was beautiful actually. like a movie star. her mother was also a kind of a feminist too. or something.
anyway I thought when I met her she was just , you know, spirit. but actually she was completely insane.
we need you to sign right here.
and give us contect information address and phone number
university avenue 3458
is that an apartment? yeah 2b
3b3b yeah that's right.
that's right. we moved upstairs.
phone number?
718...
...555 ...555
...557...67...5555767
sorry my memery my mind totally short.
so that's it? I gotta stuff to do.
thanks for coming. thank you
can I start now?
It's refreshing to have someone who wants to come to school.
I'm gonna walk him out.
all right. Oh, they give tokens to you?
No I gotta a job
Yeah, I remember when you were a kid you used to beg grossories down the *** road and put the food in fridge.
How old were you? 8
I'm not a people person. you understand that.
I'm not a people person. Liz There's nothing to do with you. you know. It's not personal.
you came today though.
I love you dad.
oh don't do that. don't love me. It wastes of energy.
You when I was little. you were the most interesting thing in my world.
everyone around was just talking about drugs or sex or you know, just trying to survive the day.
but you always had ideas
it's because of you I know there's another way of being.
Are you ok?
Yeah yeah, I'm fine. they take care of me find at the shelter
actually I'm gonna get my own apartment
you know they like to do that. you can come and stay with me, visit me, any time
you own an apartment
yeah they like to do that. they keep people like me at the shelters.
you know the people the patience. people with AIDS
Hey, listen, no no no a lot is changing. I've got all these medicines now and I'm clean
so I'm gonna live forever.
I'll be fine. I'm gonna live forever.
stay in school.
I blew this, but you can do this.
Goff Tanken. remember the main. anyboday? Frank O' prushen woorf? Yo
Do you get BISMARCK?
You didn't get BISMARCK. I didn't get BISMARCK, either. I thought BISMARCK was a kind of roll.
Kaiser roll. so is BISMARCK a kaiser?
stop talking about food. you're making me hungry.
Dav, are we getting textbooks next year? 'cause I'm keeping losing these things.
emmm... textbooks.. why don't we use textbooks? anyone?
too heavy?
They are, but not cigar (a kind of sugar)
they're too expensive. the school is too poor.
I'm keeping my cigars today.
you new girl.
her name is Liz
Yeah dav. she's been here a week. try to remember.
Liz, sue me
textbook text...book...
open it up
what did you see? words
what kind of words?
the words of the author.
NO NO this is important. and what we have here?
a lot of other people's words
why do I wannt you to have them
because one point of view gives you a one-dimensional world
cigars cigars! BISMARCK. marks the guy who sold me the babble gums cigars.
why one earth would we confine ourselves to his story——history
but isn't that the deal day? I mean is there official history?
NO girl tell him what history is.
history is all of us. all our stories count.
that's is. grab your papers. I'll be in the launch if you wanna talk about it.
hey Liz it's yours
hey new girl
you let me in but you don't remember my name
Oh I remember your name. I just like the others gaining up your side.
you're pretty smart.
so are you
you gave me an A-
yeah I thought it was a very good paper
how do i make an A
Liz, an A- is an excellent mark. this is your first school work and what? forever?
if my words count, I want them to be right.
OK
well, *** is a good one, but ...
what're you still doing here?
algebra
yeah well, it's after 11. I'm locking up.
How many classes are you taking?
the regular 5, and the saturday programming, the night school, franch and the after school science ten!
now you see why I need the before school maths
a lot
I'm 17. I don't wanna be 21 before I finish high school.
so you're trying to do 4-years high school in 3 years?
2
you need before school maths, too.
yeah, you'll kill yourself you know?
NO
NO I'm gonna live.
[monologue] I had it down. the B-train took 70 minutes to do its entire run
[monologue] I've been back 4 times, and I would get to school just a little early. and david would let me in.
[monologue] for the first time my life had some order I can count on
Chris？
Chris？Chris？
what're you doing here?
hanging out
what about the home?
so why don't you look for me?
I did. I've been looking for a long time.
you have been in any ever places?
I'm here now. I'm going to a new school. and I like it.
hey hey come on. it's great. we're together.
last one out, first one in.
no that describes you david.
how did you get so dedicated？
well, I'm such a privilege jerk. I want it to give something back.
this is?
my friend chris. my best friend.
hi chris. hey
I want her to come here too.
It's not a party, it's a tough place.
but she's good enough for you, she's good enough for me. come on in.
what we putting on the board?
we're deciding we'll send top 10 students in school trip to Boston
cool. you've ever been?
I've never been out of New York.
we went to queen's once.
well, you're going.
come on. no way I'm one of the top 10 students.
oh you're not one of the top. you're the top.
you get the best grade in this whole place
so what? you going to Boston?
expenses paid.
how long? 5 days
you ok, Liz?
yeah, I just thought I've been trash, you know.
you're not trash. this is getting you thinking about college.
what's college like? It's all crap, shup up!
you can come too? can she?
sure, if she does the work. well, not figure an inch, thanks.
come on chris, dream a little. what you wanna be when you grow up?
boy, I was grown since I was 7.
I mean after high school. it's ok.
no it's not ok. I'll be a garbageman. I'll be a prostitude.
who cares what the hell I'm gonna be.
welcome to Harvard guys.
it looks like what you thought it would?
better. unattainably better
Liz, they're just people.
not people like me
[monologue] why not people like me ? what made them so different?
[monologue] because of where they were born?
[monologue] I was working as hard as I could, so I didn't end up on food stamps or house let.
[monologue] what... what if I work even more?
[monologue] I was so close to the skin now I can touch it.
it would be a reach. it's not impossible.
is there any other scholarships
that's quite a few.
write 1500 words on the important of the free market and the free world and win $500
yeah, I don't need lead 70 of those every year.
there was some brandnew from the NYT, maybe I didn't put it in yet.
$12000 every year for 4 years
what do you have to do?
attach a brief essay describing what you believe to be the most significant in acadamic achievement and how you have overcome any chellenges or obstacles
can have a copy of this?
[monologue] I want to stand beside people beside walk and not be so far beneath them
[monologue] I wanna go to Harvard and become very developed read all the best books
[monologue] then I found myself thinking
[monologue] what if I just go crazy? I used my every potential to do that.
[monologue] I have to do it. I have no choice.
Am I late?
No, I'm early
I make you some coffee.
once ***, right? right!
can I have a stamp for this?
that's the NYT scholarship. you haven't mailed them yet? when is the deadline?
tomorrow. I gave you 4 months ago, Liz. what are you waiting for?
for today. for me to turn 18.
It's your birthday.
happy birthday.
but I don't think there's a requirement
I know, thank you.
[monologue] but now I could tell the truth that I was homeless.
and no one could come and take me away
Lisa
Liz?
What are you doing here?
I have this interview. I'm a finalist for a big NYT scholarship
but I don't have anything to wear.
You want my clothes?
nothing fancy just something that I can put over this.
mom sold my coat once, I couldn't go to school
I remember
I cried, I loved going to school so much.
you never went to school. why would they give you the scholarship
because I'm homeless and I'm doing really well in school, and...
you're not homeless, Liz. you could stay here.
No I couldn't. you know that
pop hates you.
I'm going blind. like mama
I'm scared.
Liz, they kick me out of the group home and all my stuff.
they can't kick you out, you're not 18 yet.
They'll bring to to Brucklin. I don't wanna go to Brucklin. you have to help me
I have an interview. right?
just let get through this one thing, and you can come back and go to school
no, I don't wanna go to school, I don't belong there, neither do you.
yes I do.
you think they like pepole like us to go to Harvard?
[monologue] the world moves you just suspect
[monologue] it could no happen without you
[monologue] situations are not condused to what you want for yourself
[monologue] someone else's needs, someone else's plate is going to be stronger than yours is.
[monologue] I think people just get frustrated without harsh, life can be
[monologue] so they're spending their time dwelling on that frustration
[monologue] we calling it anger. keep their eyes shut to the wholeness of the situation
[monologue] to all those tinny things that have come together to make it, what it is
because I was turned so inward by mom and dad
I got chance to see how all the little tiny things come together to make the final product
so I was never inclined to wonder why this or why that
I knew why
not that I was happy about it, in fact I was really sad about it, some of the time
but I was very excepting
I was very excepting. I just always knew that I need to get out.
is there anything else you'd like to tell us?
I loved my mother.
so much I mean
she was a drug addict.
she was an alcoholic
she was legally blind
she was schizophrenic
but I never forgot that she did love me
even if, if she did it
all the time
I hope you will know how much I really need this
I can't go to college or anything without it
she earned a 95 average, and finished the top of class of 150
she did it while completing the 4-years of high school in 2
she did it while homeless, her mother was dead, her father was a drug addict living in shelters
and any way I describe this can't do just to her accomplishment
so I'll just introduce to you our 6th NYT scholarship winner
Liz Murray
everything's changed, My life will never be the same.
and I don't know what else to say except for thank you
thank you very much
Liz Liz, how did you do this?
How could I not do it?!
my parents showed me with the alternative was
did you ever feel sorry for yourself?
sorry?
sleeping in the subway. eating out of dumpsters
that had always been my life and I really
I feel that I got lucky, because any sensive security was pulled out from under me
so I was forced to look forward. I had to... there was no going back
and I reached a point where I just thought
"oh I'm gonna work as hard as I possiblly can and see what happens"
and now I'm going to college. and the NYT is going to pay
so you were lucky! but is there anything you change, if you were able?
Yeah, I'd give it back. all of it. If I could have my family back.
[monologue] I got into Harvard. I got a job at the NYT. I got an apartment.
[monologue] I don't have to carry my whole life with me any more.
[monologue] I don't have to carry my whole life with me
[monologue] but I do. everyone I've known, everything I have done. Jesus, chip off
I forget the little things but still hard to carry alone
so that's why I told you. that's why I've told you my story
now I can lay it out and burn it done, put it in the rest, then I can go on
Hi mom.
[丽丝2003年从哈佛大学转到哥伦比亚大学学习电影专业]
Felix 听写 0345059@fudan.edu.cn 错误遗漏 敬请谅解 -------------------------- 本字幕所有权益归制作人所有 纯属爱好者交流学习使用 谢绝它用,否则一切后果自负 --------------------------