超屌侠
Guardian of the universe. 宇宙的守护者
Protecting us against the forces of evil. 保护我们,对抗邪恶势力
The superpowers of this man... 这个人的超能力……
He can catch a bullet, 他可以接住子弹
halt a speeding train. 拦下超速的火车
And leap tall buildings in a single bound. 一跳就可以越过摩天大楼
- Up in the sky... - Is it a bird? A plane? - 在太空之上…… - 是只鸟? 还是飞机?
A mailman by day... 白天是邮差……
City's guardian by night. 晚上化身为城市的守护神
Defending the citizens of New York from the forces of evil. 保护纽约市民,对抗邪恶
The world has been protected by a group of extraordinary men and women 这个世界被一群出色的男女保护着
who have dedicated themselves to fighting crime. 他们为打击犯罪奉献心力
Mysterious traveler from another dimension. 神秘的访客从另一个时空而来
He has powers far beyond the capabilities of mere earthlings. 他的力量远远超越普通地球人
I always wondered why nobody did it before me. 我一直不明白在我之前,为什么没人这么做过
I mean, all those comic books, movies, TV shows, 我是说,有那么多的漫画、电影和电视剧
you'd think that one eccentric Ioner would have made himself a costume. 总会有哪个怪人想给自己做一套制服吧
I mean, is everyday life really so exciting? 我在想,每天的生活都那么精彩吗?
Are schools and offices so thrilling 工作学习都精彩无比
that I'm the only one who ever fantasized about this? 以至于只有我一个人幻想过这种事吗?
Come on, be honest with yourself. 得了吧,坦诚一点
At some point in our lives, we all wanted to be a superhero. 一生中的某个时刻,我们都曾想当超级英雄
That's not me, by the way. BTW,这可不是我
That's some Armenian guy with a history of mental health problems. 这是个有精神病史的亚美尼亚人
Who am I? I'm Kick-Ass. 那我是谁?我是超屌侠
That's me, back before any of this crazy shit happened. 那才是我,所有这些疯狂的事情发生之前的我
I guess I was the last person you'd expect to become a superhero. 你绝对想不到我会成为一个超级英雄
I'm not saying there was anything wrong with me, 我没什么不对头
but there was nothing special, either. 但却也没什么特别的
- Asshole. - I wasn't into sports. - 2B - 无论是体育,
I wasn't a mathlete or a hardcore gamer. 数学还是游戏,都不怎么在行
I didn't have a piercing or an eating disorder 没有穿环,没有饮食失调
or 3,000 friends on MySpace. My Space里也没有3000个好友
My only superpower was being invisible to girls. 我唯一的超能力就是在女生面前隐形
And out of my friends, man, I wasn't even the funny one. 在朋友眼里我也不是有趣的那一个
Like most people my age, I just existed. 跟大部份同龄人一样,我只是活着而已
Good morning, class. 早安,同学们
Please open your books to Act 2, Scene 2. 翻开书到第二幕,第二场
Kick in my bedroom door, and you'd probably find me watching TV 偷袭我的房间,你会发现我不是在看电视
or talking to my friend Todd on Skype... 就是用Skype跟Todd聊天
- Are you watching Family Guy? - Nope. - 在看《盖酷家庭》(a.k.a 搞怪一家人)吗? - 没有
Me, either. Check out nippleslip. Com. It's good. 我也没看,瞧下甜甜咪咪网,很不错
...or jerking off, mostly to my English teacher. 或者在打飞机,大多是幻想我的英语老师
Dave Lizewski.
Don't think I haven't noticed you looking at my tits, Dave. 你以为我不知道你一直盯着我的咪咪吗,Dave
I want your hands all over me, Dave. 快用你的双手抚摸我
Please. 来嘛～
Sure, a lot of what got me through the average school day 没错,我在学校的每一天
was making deposits in the whack-off warehouse for later. 都是为了积蓄幻想,留着回家打飞机用
Though to be honest, 不过说实话
it didn't take much to set me off. 想让我兴奋用不着什么极品美女
I swear, when my hormones balance out, 我发誓,等我的激素恢复正常
shares in Kleenex are gonna take a dive, man. Kleenex卫生纸的股价肯定下跌
Dave Lizewski, shouldn't you be looking at Hamlet right now? Dave Lizewski, 你应该集中精神在《哈姆雷特》上吧?
Yes, Mrs. Zane. 是的,Zane夫人
I'm sorry. 对不起
But don't get me wrong. I like girls my own age, too. 可别误会我,我也喜欢同龄女孩
Especially Katie Deauxma. 尤其是Katie Deauxma
Hey, gorgeous. 嘿,美女
Hey. 嘿
Oh, no. 哦,不
You meant Erika. I know. I knew that. 你是在跟Erika讲话 我知道 我早就知道
I was just kidding. 我只是开个玩笑
Okay, cool. 好吧,没事
Oh, my God. 哦,我的天
Hey. Look, I'm Todd's mom. 嘿,看,我是Todd的妈妈
That's funny. This is your dad. 好玩是吧,这是你爸
No, that's still my mom, actually. 不,那还是我妈
What the fuck! 干毛啊!
I was just a regular guy. 我只是一个普通的男孩
No radioactive spiders, no refugee status from a doomed alien world. 没有被辐射蜘蛛咬过,也不是从毁灭的外星球逃难来的 (蜘蛛侠,超人)
You know what? Todd said they do still make Count Chocula. 知道么?Todd说他们仍在生产Count Chocula牌麦片
They just don't sell it at the store anymore. 他们只是不在商店卖了
My mother was killed by an aneurism in the kitchen... 我妈在厨房里死于动脉瘤……
- Mom? ...as opposed to a gunman in the alley. - 妈? ……而不是在小巷被歹徒杀害(蝙蝠侠的父母)
So if you were hoping for any, 所以如果你希望我说
"I will avenge you, Mother!" “我会为你报仇的,母亲!”之类的话
You're out of luck. 你就不走运了
In the 18 months since my mother died, 妈妈过世后的18个月里
the only epiphany I had was realizing that life just goes on. 我唯一的顿悟就是发现生活一如既往
Did they change the bee's face? 他们把蜜蜂头像换了吗?
No. 没有
How come nobody's ever tried to be a superhero? 为什么从来没人试过当超级英雄呢?
Boy, I don't know. 靠,我不知道
Probably 'cause it's fucking impossible, dipshit. 因为这他妈不可能吧,笨蛋
What, putting on a mask and helping people? How's that impossible? 戴个面具帮助别人而已,这有啥不可能的?
That's not superhero, though. How is that super? 可那不是“超级”英雄,哪里“超级”了?
Super's like being stronger than everybody and flying and shit. That's just hero. 超级是比别人壮然后能飞之类,你说的只是“英雄”
No, it's not even hero. It's just fucking psycho. 不,连英雄都谈不上,那是疯子
Hello? Bruce Wayne? He didn't have any powers. 忘了吧?布鲁斯-韦恩(蝙蝠侠)?他就没有超能力
Yes, but he had all the expensive shit that doesn't exist. 是,但他有一堆现实中不存在的昂贵玩意儿
I thought you meant, like, "How come nobody does it in real life?" 我猜你想说的是,“为什么现实生活中没人试过?”
Yeah, Todd, that's what I meant. 没错,Todd,我就是这个意思
Dude, if anybody did it in real life, they'd get their ass kicked. 老兄,要是有人真这么干,他会被海扁一顿的
- They'd be dead in, like, a day. - A day. - 不到一天就一命呜呼了 - 一天
Yeah, okay, I'm not saying they should do it. 好吧,我不是说他们必须要做
I just can't figure out why nobody does. 我就是不明白为什么没人去做
Seriously, out of all the millions of people who love superheroes, 认真的,那么多喜欢超级英雄的人里面
you'd think one would give it a try. 你不觉得总有一个人会试一试么
Jesus, guys, does it not bug you? 天啊,伙计们,难道你们不觉得纳闷吗?
Why thousands of people wanna be Paris Hilton 为什么大家都想当帕丽斯-希尔顿
and nobody wants to be Spider-Man? 没人想当蜘蛛侠?
Yeah, what's with that? She has, like, no tits at all. 是啊,多扯?她根本就是个太平公主
Maybe it's the porn tape. He doesn't have a porn tape. 也许是因为她有拍AV吧,蜘蛛侠可没拍过AV
You guys never saw One Night in Spider-Man? 你们没看过《与蜘蛛侠的激情一夜》吗?
Guess who? 看谁来了?
Is it me or do you kind of feel sorry for Chris D'Amico? 你们是不是也同情Chris D'Amico?
Yeah, it must be terrible to have a rich dad and everything you want. 是啊,有个富豪老爸要啥有啥肯定很凄惨
I wish you wouldn't have said anything 我真希望你啥都没说
- 'cause I feel like I'm gonna start crying. - Right. - 因为我觉得都要哭了 - 是啊
The fact that he's always on his own? 事实是他总是孤身一人
We should, like, talk to him. See if he wants to hang out with us. 我们应该跟他谈谈,看他是否愿意跟我们一起
I didn't say we should talk to him. I just... 我可没说要跟他谈,我不过……
Think about it. Come on, it'd be awesome. 想想,那多好啊
If he was our friend, no one would ever fuck with us again. 如果跟他交朋友,那就没人敢惹我们了
Well, go on then, Todd. You wanna... 好吧,去啊,Todd,你去……
- I can get up. - No, no... - 我给你让路 - 别,别
- You wanna go talk to him? I can move. - Dave... Dave should go. - 你想去跟他谈吗?我给你让路 - Dave...Dave去
- Dave should go. - Why? - Dave去 - 为毛啊?
- Dave, you should totally go. - Go. - Dave,你绝对需要去 - 去吧
- You're a dick. - Don't be afraid, Dave. - 你个鸡巴 - 别怕,Dave
You're a pussy. 你个傻逼
Fuck off. 滚开
Did you spray anything over there? 你没尿那儿了吧?
Yeah, I think I might have just shat in my pants a little. 呃,我好像是洒了一点点出来
- See you later. - God, see you. - 回见 - 天哪,回见
If that guy would have spoken to me like that, I would have kicked his ass. 要是那家伙那么跟我说话,我绝对会扁他一顿
Todd, when have you ever kicked anyone's ass? Todd,你什么时候扁过人啊?
Whatever, man. I would have just gone for his knees. 管他呢,我直接攻他膝盖
- You're not making sense. - What I'm saying is the centrifugal force - 你在说胡话吧 - 我说的是蝙蝠镖的离心力
of Batman's batarang would undoubtedly penetrate the Joker's force field, 绝对能攻破小丑的防御力场
- leaving him totally vulnerable to the... - All right... - 让他毫无抵抗能力 - 好吧呀……
- Pussy patrol. - Fuck. - 傻逼们好 - 我操
- Phones, money. - Dude, not again, come on. - 手机,钱 - 不是吧,又来
- Phone. - I don't have one. - 手机呢 - 没有
- Someone else jacked it last week. - Pussy. - 上周刚被抢了 - 傻逼
- Give me the bag. - It's just comics. - 把包给我 - 里面就漫画书
Yo, you want to get cut? 你想让我捅你吗?
Look at this asshole just watching. 那混球就那么看着
Come on, be honest with yourself. 得了吧,坦诚一点
Would you do anything differently? 你跟他有何不同?
We see someone in trouble and we wish we could help, 我们看到人有麻烦,想要帮忙
but we don't. 但我们没有
The world I lived in, heroes only existed in comic books. 我所生活的世界,英雄只存在于漫画书里
And I guess that would have been okay if bad guys were make-believe, too. 我猜如果坏人也如此的话倒没什么
But they're not. 但并非如此
Frankie, I'm telling you, man, I swear I'm not making this up. Frankie,我跟你说啊,我发誓这不是瞎编的
This fucking guy comes out of nowhere, kicks our asses, 那个傻逼不知从哪儿冒出来暴扁我们
and steals all the coke. 偷走了所有的可卡因
This would be the guy that looks like Batman? 就是那个像蝙蝠侠的?
I didn't say he looked like Batman. 我没说他像蝙蝠侠
You did, Tre. You said the guy looked like Batman. 你说了,Tre,你说那家伙想蝙蝠侠
- He said like a mask and stuff. - And a cape. - 他说是带着面具的 - 还有斗篷
- Yeah, like Batman. - I didn't say "Like Batman." - 没错,就像蝙蝠侠 - 我没说“就像蝙蝠侠”
I never said "Batman." 我从来没说过“蝙蝠侠”
Okay. 行啊
Let me tell you the problem I got with that, Tre. 我来给你掰清楚,Tre
Our mole with the Russians tells things a little different. 我在俄国人那里的内线可不是这么说的
According to him, you sold him my coke and you took the money. 根据他所说,你卖了我的可卡因,吞了钱
That's a fucking lie! 他妈逼的说谎!
I can't believe that you would believe this shit from a fucking Russian, man! 我不信你居然相信一个倒霉的俄国老毛子!
Let me see, Tre. Hey, what's more likely, huh? 让我想想,Tre,嘿,你觉得这是怎么回事?
That you're a greedy little cocksucker or all my coke was stolen by Superman? 要么你是个贪得无厌的傻逼,要么是我的货被超人偷了?
- Batman. - I never said Batman! - 是蝙蝠侠 - 我从来没说过蝙蝠侠!
Enough! 够了!
Now my son is waiting out there in the car to go to the movies, 我儿子等着我去看电影
and I ain't gonna disappoint him. 我不想让他失望
Joe, you're in charge. Joe,这事儿你负责
- Frank... Frankie! - That's gotta be the worst fucking excuse - 这是我听过的
I ever heard, Tre. 最他妈差劲的接口了,Tre
- Sorry you had to wait, buddy. - The movie is starting in 10 minutes. - 抱歉让你等,伙计 - 电影还有十分钟就开始了
It's okay. We're cool. We're only gonna miss the trailers. 没问题,我们能赶到,顶多看不到开场前的预告
Yeah. But I want to get some popcorn. 可我想买些爆米花
When we get in there, get Chris some popcorn. 到了后给Chris买个爆米花
- Okay? - You fucking motherfuckers! - 行吧? - 你们这帮傻逼!!
What do you want to drink? You want a Pepsi? 你要喝什么,百事可乐吗?
- Yeah, that's fine. - Get him a Pepsi, and I'll have an Icee. - 行 - 给他百事,我要个冰炫风
Mixed. 混合型
Like when they mix the red one and the blue one. 红蓝混在一起的那个玩意儿
And a pack of Twizzlers. 再来一包糖果
The comic books had it wrong. 漫画里讲的不对 (正上映《闪灵侠3》,当然是虚构,该片目前仅一部)
It didn't take a trauma or cosmic rays or a power ring to make a superhero. 成为超级硬性用不着受到创伤或者宇宙射线或者能量戒指 (闪灵侠,神奇四侠,绿灯侠)
Just the perfect combination of optimism and naivety. 只需要乐观主义和很傻很天真的完美结合
You are fucking awesome. 你真他妈酷啊
Come on then, bring it on! 来啊,放马过来吧!
Daddy, I'm scared. 爹地,我怕
Come on, Mindy, honey. 坚强点,Mindy,宝贝儿
Be a big girl now. There's nothing to be afraid of. 妳是大女孩了,没什么好害怕的
- Is it gonna hurt bad? - Oh, child. - 会不会很疼啊? - 哦,孩子
Only for a second, sugar. 就疼一下下,蜜糖儿
A handgun bullet travels at... More than? 手枪子弹时速……最多?
- 700 miles an hour. - 700 miles an hour. - 700英里每小时
So at close range like this, the force is gonna take you off your feet for sure, 所以像这样的近距离射击,力量肯定要把你击倒
but it's really no more painful than a punch in the chest. 但绝对不会比胸口挨了一拳更疼
I hate getting punched in the chest. 我讨厌胸口被打
You're gonna be fine, baby doll. 不会有事的,宝贝
How was that? Not so bad. 怎么样?没啥吧
Kind of fun, huh? Now you know how it feels. 非常有趣是吧,你既然知道这种感觉了
You won't be scared when some junkie asshole pulls a Glock. 就算有人拿大口径打你也不用害怕了
- I wouldn't have been scared anyways. - That's my girl. - 我本来就不害怕 - 这才是我的乖女儿
All right, up you get. Come on. Two more rounds and then home. 起来,再打两发我们就回家
Again? 还来啊?
Look, only if we can go by the bowling alley on the way back. 除非完了之后去打保龄球
The bowling alley? 保龄球啊?
Yeah. And ice cream after. 完事儿还要冰淇淋
Okay. Two more rounds. 好的,两发
No wincing, no whining, and you got yourself a deal, young lady. 不准躲,不准发牢骚,那就这么定了,女士
Yeah! I'm gonna get a hot fudge sundae. 太好了!我要吃巧克力奶油圣代
Good call, baby doll. 真有品味,小宝贝
So, have you thought a little more about what you might want for your birthday? 你想过要什么做生日礼物吗?
Can I get a puppy? 我可以要只小狗吗?
You wanna get a dog? 你想要小狗?
Yeah, a cuddly, fluffy one. 对,一只可爱的毛毛的狗
And a Bratz Movie Star Makeover Sasha. 还有电影版的Bratz娃娃Sasha
I'm just fucking with you, Daddy. 我耍你呢,老爸
Look, I'd love a Benchmade Model 42 butterfly knife. 我想要一把手工制的42型蝴蝶刀
Oh, child. 哦,孩子
You always knock me for a loop. 你总是能耍到我
- You know what? - What? - 你知道吗? - 啥?
- I'm gonna get you two. - Two? - 我要给你两把 - 两把?
One balisong. Two balisong. That's what you get. 一把蝴蝶刀,两把蝴蝶刀,都给你
"The glass of fashion and the mold of form (出自《哈姆雷特》)
"The observed of all observers quite, quite down! (出自《哈姆雷特》)
"And I, of ladies most deject and wretched..." (出自《哈姆雷特》)
I'll be honest, 我说实话吧,
there wasn't a whole lot of crime-fighting in those first few weeks. 在最初的几周我没怎么打击犯罪
But even so, my new vocation kept me plenty busy. 尽管如此,我的新职业也让我忙得很
Shit. 靠
I called it preparation. 这叫做战前准备
But if you called it fantasizing, it would have been hard to argue. 如果你管这叫白日梦,我也无可争辩
All I knew was I'd never felt so good about myself. 但我从未这么自信过
Fuck! 我操!
Okay, maybe I was still in the beta-testing phase, 好吧,可能我还只是个测试版
but it was a start. 但这确实是一个开端
What the fuck are you looking at? 你他妈看什么看?
- Nothing. - Get the fuck out of here. - 没什么 - 滚远点儿
Like every serial killer already knew, 就像已知的每一位连环杀手一样
eventually, fantasizing just doesn't do it for you anymore. 最终,做做白日梦是不够解渴的
It was time to engage. 该出手时就出手吧
Hurry up, man. 快点,伙计
What the fuck? 我操,这货是?
What the fuck you looking at? 你他妈看什么啊?
I said, what the fuck are you looking at? 我问你呢,你他妈看什么啊?
Two cheap-shit losers screwing with a car 两个二逼在搞一辆车
that someone probably worked their ass off to pay for. 可能是别人辛辛苦苦还贷款买来的
- Say what? - Leave it be, man. - 你说啥? - 别搭理他
This motherfucker is obviously high. 这傻逼肯定嗑药了
I'm not high. 我没嗑药
I just think it sucks you guys think you can do what you want. 你们为所欲为我可不能坐视不管
Just walk away from the car and we can forget about this. 赶紧滚蛋,我可以当做什么都没发生
You're crazy, man. 你疯了吧
Fuck this shit. 干他娘的吧
- Shit! - Let's get out of here! - 操! - 咱快跑吧!
I came around for just long enough to beg the medic 我努力醒了一会儿告诉救护员
not to tell anybody about the costume. 别把我这身行头说出去
He promised he wouldn't. 他答应守口如瓶
All I knew was my dad was gonna kill me. 我猜爸爸会宰了我的
Why can't I have a gun? I'm a security guard. 为什么我没有配枪呢?我是保安啊
You're a doorman now. You don't get a gun no more. 你现在是门房,不用带枪
Look at me. I look like a putz. 看看我,我看起来很白痴
You look sharp. Look at all them buttons. Do your job. Open the fucking door. 你精神极了,看看这些漂亮的纽扣 做好你的工作,开门
Have a nice day. 祝您愉快
- Good morning, Frank. - Hey, Joe, how you doing? - 早安,Frank - 嘿,Joe,怎么样啊?
- Great. - Want some coffee? - 爽着呢 - 要咖啡吗
Maybe later. Morning, Ange. 等会吧,早啊Ange
- Good morning. - Chris. - 早上好
Good morning, Joe. 早上好,Joe
Frank, we got a thing. Frank,发生了一些事情
It's a big thing, Frank. 重大的事情,Frank
Okay. 好吧
Sorry, hon. 抱歉,儿子
Do what you got to do. 做你该做的事吧
Chris, where do you think you're going? Chris,你要去哪?
- I got to talk to Dad. - Christopher. - 跟爸谈谈
Frank, honey! Frank,亲爱的!
Where do you think you're going? 你要去哪?
I don't... I don't mind you talking business, Dad. 我……我不介意你谈生意的,爸
I was just gonna sit in there quietly. 我就是坐那儿安静地听着
I mean, I should probably start learning this stuff anyway, right? 总有一天我也要学的,对不?
Hey, go finish your oatmeal. 吃你的饭去
God damn it! I'm gonna be 18 in eight months, for Christ's sakes. 我的老天啊!我还有8个月就18岁了,天啊
Fuck. 操
Take a seat. 坐吧
- So what's the problem? - Our Russian says that Tre just sold him - 出了什么问题? - 俄国人说Tre刚卖给他
another five keys at half price. 另外那5磅可卡因,半价
Which Tre? Tre Tre? 哪个Tre?那个Tre?
Right. Dead Tre. 没错,死的那个Tre
So now I'm getting fucked in the ass by a ghost? 就是说我现在被个鬼爆菊了?
Or Tre was telling the truth. 或者Tre说的是实情
What, this is my choice, I gotta believe in ghosts or superheroes? 我一定要在鬼魂和超级英雄中选一个吗?
Well, not the part about the superhero, Frankie, 可能不是超级英雄...
but just that he might have really been gaffled by somebody. 但他可能真的是被某人摆了一道
I think we'd better invite our Russian over for a friendly chat, 该是时候找我们的俄国朋友见面了
see what's really going on. 看究竟是怎么回事
Hey, early birdie. 嘿,早起的鸟儿
You beat me to it. I wanted to get you breakfast this morning. 又比我早啊,我本来想帮你买早餐的
Happy birthday, sweetheart. 生日快乐,甜心
Check this out. 看看
Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! 谢谢,谢谢,谢谢!
Oh, my gosh. 哦,天啊
Dad. 老爸
Wow. 哇
Watch, Dad. 看,爸
Okay, pop quiz. 好,抽查
What's the proper name for one of those? 这种刀的专有名词?
Easy, balisong. It's Filipino. Ask me another. 简单,蝴蝶刀,这是菲律宾特产,问个别的
Excellent, good. 答得好
The AR-15 was a lighter, smaller caliber version of what design? AR-15是轻型的,小口径版本的什么?
Eugene Stoner's AR-10. Now give me a hard one. 尤金-斯通的AR-10,给我个难点的
The name of 吴宇森的
John Woo's first full-length feature? 第一部电影长片是什么?
Tie han rou qing, The Young Dragons. 《铁汉柔情》
Daddy, look. 爸,看
Hey, come on, you're not looking. 嘿,靠,你都没在看
The point is, some fucker is killing our guys. 问题是,有混蛋干掉了我们的人
Until we find out who that is, I don't wanna see 在我们找到是谁干的之前
any of you bitches sitting around on your asses, all right? 我可不想看到你们谁敢偷懒,呃?
What the fuck do you... 你他妈的干……
Hello? 喂?
Hey, Joe, yeah. 嘿,Joe,是
No, he's just training right now. 没,他正在训练
One second. 等等
Dad, phone! 爸爸,电话!
- Dad, the phone's for you. - Who is it? - 爸爸,找你的 - 谁?
It's Joe. 是Joe
- What's the problem? - Yeah, Frank, - 怎么啦? - 喂,Frank
turns out we ain't got the vise here no more. 我们这儿找不到虎头钳了
Really? 真的?
But we do got a brand-new industrial microwave. 我们有个崭新的大微波炉
They use it for treating the lumber. 他们拿来制木炭的
Well, that is neat. 好东西啊
I think you must be confusing me with someone 你是不是以为
who gives a shit about the fucking lumber! 我他妈管什么倒霉的木炭啊!
Yeah, okay, all right, Frank. All right, I'm sorry. 好,好,没事,Frank,消消气,抱歉
- I'm sorry, okay? ...get the information. - 抱歉,行不? ……快让他招
All right, okay! 好,马上!
All right, come on. Go ahead. 好吧,送他进去
Hey, look, the guys tell me he's Tre Fernandez. What do I know? 嘿,听着,那家伙说他是Tre Fernandez,我怎么知道?
- Shut up. - Now you say Fernandez is dead. - 闭嘴 - 你说Fernandez死了
- Get inside. Shut up! - Okay, no, he lied! - 进去,闭嘴! - 好,别,他撒谎啊!
- He lie about... - Fucking mamaluke. - 他骗我说自己…… - 傻逼老外
He lied! 他撒谎!
Does this work like a regular microwave or what? 就像用普通微波炉还是咋地?
Fuck do I know? We're not making a fucking Hungry-Man dinner here. 我知道个鸡毛?我们又不是做人肉烧烤
Just turn it on. 打开就行了
Here we go. 开了
Okay, I wanna know who sold you our coke. 是谁把我们的可卡因卖给你的
And don't tell me somebody who's dead this time. 这会可别说是哪个死人
Can he hear you? I don't think he can hear you. 他能听见吗?我觉得他听不见你
I said, who really sold you our coke? 我问,是谁把我们的可卡因卖给你的?
Who 谁
sold you 卖给你
our coke? 我们的可卡因?
Shit. Shit. 操,操!
This is awesome! I look like fricking Wolverine. 太牛逼了!我觉得自己像金刚狼一样
They still have that metal detector at your school? 学校的金属探测器还用着吗?
Yeah, it's gonna have a meltdown. 是,这下得乱套了
Dave, I need to ask you something. Dave,我得问你些问题
Okay. 问吧
The police report, 警察说
they found you naked. 发现你的时候你是全裸的
You said you didn't remember why. 你不记得是为什么
The muggers, they didn't... 那些袭击者是不是……
What? 啥?
No! Jesus. 没!老天
No, I... I wasn't even... 没,我……我根本没有……
In the ambulance, they threw my clothes away 救护员拿走我的衣服
- 'cause of the blood. - Right. - 是因为上面全是血 - 好吧
Okay, okay. 没事儿,没事儿
Dad. Dad. 老爸啊老爸
Seemed like no time at all before I was back on my feet. 感觉自己似乎很快就出院了
- Dave's what? - Not now. - Dave是啥? - 嘘!
Apart from some messed up nerve endings, 除了神经末梢傻掉了以外
the doctors had managed to fix me up pretty good. 医生还是把我修理得焕然一新
- Did you feel that? - No. - 能感觉到吗? - 不
You're like fucking Jason Bourne or something, man. That owns. 你现在就像Jason Bourne(《谍影重重》),酷毙了
- How about that? - No, Marty! - 这样疼么? - 不疼,Marty!
Give it a fucking rest, man. 别再搞我了
I've only been back half a day, 我才刚出院半天
and you're already making me miss the hospital. 你就让我想念医院生活了
He's right. I'm sorry. I'm acting totally childish. 他是对的,对不起,我太孩子气了
- Stop with the fork. - I apologize. - 少拿叉子捅我 - 我郑重道歉
Hey. 嘿
Dave, hey. Dave,嘿
Hey. 你好
How are you? You look better. 你怎样?你气色好多了
I'm good. Yeah, much better. 没错,是好多了
Hey, you're into comic books, aren't you? 你喜欢漫画没错吧?
Well, me and Erika sometimes hang out after school Erika和我有时放学去漫画店
at this really great store Atomic Comics. 叫原子能漫画店的那家
They make the best white chocolate mocha latte. 他们家的白巧克力摩卡咖啡很棒的
Yeah? 是吗?
Well, I could buy you one sometime if you, you know, like, 嗯,如果你想找个人谈谈
need someone to talk to. 我可以请你喝一杯
Sure. Thank you. 好啊,谢了
Okay, sweet. Well, I'll see you later. 那好,回头见
- Man, did you see that? - Yeah. - 老兄,看见没? - 嗯嗯
Katie Deauxma just offered to buy me coffee. Katie Deauxma刚刚说要请我喝咖啡
Yeah. You know, I really don't think that's what it looks like. 我认为她对你没意思
- What are you talking about? - The point is, - 你这话什么意思 - 事实是
Katie Deauxma's all about the lame ducks. Katie Deauxma就喜欢治愈“可怜人”
What's this got to do with me? 这跟我有毛关系?
I've been trying to figure out how to tell you this. 我不知道怎么跟你说啊
- There's a rumor going around... - Right. - 传言说…… - 没错
...that you... - What? ……你是个…… - 是个什么?
...are gay. - Gay? ……是个基佬 - 基佬?
What kind of rumor is that? 这样的鬼话是从哪传出的
Well, you know, I mean, getting mugged... 你知道啦,被抢了
- You guys have been mugged! - Yeah, I know, but, - 你们也被抢过! - 我知道,不过,
you know, we didn't get beat up and have all our clothes taken off. 我们没有被扁一顿然后衣服都被扒光了
That's not even true. The medic threw my clothes away. 这根本不是真的,那是救护员把我扔掉的
You know, don't worry about it. Rumors don't mean shit. 没事,别担心,流言纯属扯淡
- We know the truth. Yeah. - Right? - 我们相信你就行 - 是吗?
And who knows, buddy, this might even get you laid. 谁知道呢,伙计,说不定能借此把她弄上床
No, not if she thinks he's gay, Todd. You fucking retard. 不,她以为他是个基佬的话就不会,Todd,你个白痴
Thanks, Marty, this is really fucking helping me. 谢了,Marty,你可真会帮倒忙
I'm just being honest! 我不过说了实话!
I was getting back to my old self. 我又变回从前的我
I should have quit, of course, but you can't just reprogram yourself. 我应该放弃的,当然,但你不能简单地给自己重新编程
What you want, who you are, your purpose in life. 来确定自己要什么,是什么,人生的目标
No, I'm just standing around, you know. 没事,我只是随便逛逛
No, I'm not! 不,骗你的!
It is what it is. 江山易改本性难移
How about that, huh? 吃我一招!
Yeah. Didn't see that, did you? 耶,这招怎么样,呃?
I think it's best that you just walk away. 你最好快点给我滚
Well, maybe you shouldn't do that. 也许你不该这么做
What? Are you looking at me? Well, this is my business. 啥?你少盯着我,我偏要管管
超屌侠的My Space：我是蒙面侠客，专门打击犯罪
Me? My hardware was fixed now. 我?我的硬件都修好了
I was back and running Kick-Ass version 2.0. 我重拾旧业了运行超屌侠2.0版
寻猫启事：有谁见过Bitey先生么？
Excuse me, have you seen this cat? 打扰了,你见过这只猫吗?
- No. - No? Okay, thank you. - 没 - 没?好吧,谢谢
Excuse me, ma'am. Have you seen this cat? 打扰了,夫人,你见过这只猫吗?
I'm sorry. Did you see this cat? 抱歉,你见过这只猫吗?
No? Okay. 没?好吧
Oh, great. 哦,太棒了
Here, kitty. Here, Mr. Bitey. 来,猫咪,过来,Bitey先生
Come on... No, no, no, no, no! 过来……别别别别别!
No, no, no. Mr. Bitey, come on. 别别别,Bitey先生,过来
Back here, come on. Let's get you home. Come on. 回来,我带你回家
Fuck you, Mr. Bitey! 操你妈,Bitey先生!
- Oh, God, I'm so sorry, man. - You fucking green... - 哦,天哪,太对不起了 - 你个绿色的傻逼……
Get up. Get him up. 起来,把他弄起来
- Get up. - Thanks, freak. - 起来 - 多谢了,怪胎
- Hey, leave him alone! - Fuck off, man. It's none of your business! - 嘿,离他远点! - 滚开,这不关你事!
Yes, it is. 它关我事
Hey! Call 911! 嘿!打电话报警!
Hey, there's a dude dressed like a superhero out there 嘿,那儿有个穿着像超级英雄的家伙
fighting a bunch of guys. 在跟一帮人打架
It's fucking awesome! 酷毙了的!
Leave him alone! 离他远点!
Give it up, man. Just walk away. 得了吧,走开
No. Never. 不,绝不
What the fuck is wrong with you, man? 你脑子有问题吗?
You'd rather die for some piece of shit that you don't even fucking know? 为了这种你根本不认识的垃圾,你宁愿死吗?
And three assholes 你们三个垃圾
laying into one guy while everybody else watches, 众目睽睽之下 以多欺少
and you want to know what's wrong with me? 还觉得是我脑子有问题?
Yeah, I'd rather die. 没错,我宁愿死
So bring it on! 给我放马过来!
You're fucking crazy, kid. 你疯了,小子
Fuck. 操
Thank you. 谢谢你
What? 说啥?
Thank you. 谢谢你
That fucking rocked. Who are you? 你酷毙了,你是谁?
I'm Kick-Ass. 我是超屌侠
- Dude, you gotta check this shit out. - What is it? - 你得好好看看这个 - 这是什么?
...on the latest corruption scandal. And coming up after the hour, ……最近的一场腐败丑闻 下面是最新消息
a costumed vigilante has become the latest Internet phenomenon 一个身穿制服的义务警察最近成为网络红人
after a Hamilton Park resident filmed the man's remarkable intervention 一位汉密尔顿公园居民拍下了他上周
in a gang-related attack last week. 与黑帮歹徒撕斗的壮举
- This is awesome. - Fuck, yeah. - 太酷了 - 没错
Welcome to this special edition of Eye on New York. 欢迎收看本期“纽约视角”特别报道
How far would you go to help your fellow man? 你会为陌生人拔刀相助吗?
This colorful individual has been all over the news this week 这位大放异彩的人成为本周新闻的焦点
after a video of his intervention of street-gang violence 他与街头帮派对抗的视频
became the most-watched clip on the Internet. 成为互联网点击率第一位
Three assholes laying into one guy while... 你们三个垃圾,以多欺少……
My MySpace, 38 friends. Kick-Ass's MySpace, 16,000 and counting. 我的MySpace,38个好友；超屌侠的,16000个,而且在增加
This thing was going crazy, and I was loving it. 这事儿越来越疯狂,而我则乐在其中
And finally, we want to know who is this man? 最终,我们都想知道这个人是谁 (求救的人很多,放心会轮到你的——超屌侠)
Does anyone have any idea who this wetsuit crusader is? 有没有人知道这位穿着潜水服的骑士是谁?
He must be someone's son, someone's brother, 他肯定是谁的儿子,兄弟
- someone's next-door neighbor. - Holy shit. - 谁的邻居 - 我了个去
- Have you seen him? - What happened? - 你见过他吗? - 发生什么了?
What happened? This guy happened. 发生什么?这家伙出现了
It's a great day for America, everybody. 今天对美国来说是个重要的日子
Yeah, everybody's favorite superhero right now, Kick-Ass, right? 超屌侠成为每个人最爱的超级英雄
Kick-Ass! Yeah! 超屌侠!耶!
I like Kick-Ass! His costume is crappy. 我喜欢超屌侠!他的制服太逊了
He looks like a transvestite... 他看起来就像个易装癖……
You know what? Everyone likes Kick-Ass. 你发现没?每个人都喜欢超屌侠
Did you see the clip? He was actually pretty good. 你看视频了么?他擅长那个
Good at getting his ass kicked. 擅长挨揍么
He should call himself Ass-Kick instead. 他应该管自己叫“挨揍侠”
That doesn't even make sense. 你冷死我了
...transvestite that is Kick-Ass will take you down, I say! 超屌侠用易装癖闪瞎你的眼!
That guy's gonna end up dead, that's what I think. 这家伙肯定会被人弄死
Are you serious? The guy owes. 你扯吧?这家伙多牛逼
I'd e-mail his site if I had a problem worth fixing. 我要是有麻烦就给他发邮件了
What? Are you kidding me? I got 100 guys who can fix a problem, 啥?无视我?我有100个手下可以解决麻烦的
you'd hire some putz in pantyhose? 你反去雇个传连裤袜的傻逼?
Well, I wouldn't wanna get in the way of your business, where I'm not wanted. 嗯,我可不想挡你的生意啊,你不让啊
Please, I know you have mistaken me for Kick-Ass, 不好意思,我知道你把我当成超屌侠了
but I am not Kick-Ass. 但我不是超屌侠
我现在下班了，不好意思，晚点再帮你 ——超屌侠
嗨Dave，什么时候去喝咖啡啊？ ——Katie
- You don't actually read comics? - Yeah, I just started. - 原来你不看漫画书的? - 是啊,我才刚开始看
I got recommended some. 有人给我推荐过一些
Like Scott Pilgrim and Shojo Beat, that kind of thing. 像《歪小子斯科特》和Shojo Beat之类的 (电影8月上映//日本少女漫画杂志的英文版)
I'm not really into the whole superhero thing, though. 我并不喜欢超级英雄这个东西
So I guess you're not gonna line up for that new Kick-Ass comic then? 那我猜你不会去排队买超屌侠的漫画了?
I guess not. 我猜不会
But you know what? I was seriously thinking of mailing his site. 不过跟你说,我真得很想给他发信
I mean, I could really use some help from a guy like that right now. 我特别需要他这种人来帮我
Help? Really? What with? 帮你?真的?什么事?
You know I volunteer at the needle exchange. 你知道我在一家针头交换所做义工 (吸毒者把针头以旧换新的地方,防艾滋病扩散)
No, I didn't. 我不知道
Well, there's this one guy Rasul, and I felt so sorry for him. 嗯,有个叫Rasul的家伙,我特别可怜他
And the more I found out about his upbringing and stuff, I just... 我越是了解他的教养之类的,我就……
Wow, that's weird. I'm usually the one playing therapist. 哇,真奇怪,一般我才是治愈系的
Can I make a confession? 我能直说吗?
Ever since I was little, I've always wanted a friend 从小起我就希望能有个朋友
like you. 像你这样的
- Is it okay to say that? - Yeah. - 我可不可以这么说啊? - 可以
I mean, that's not homophobic, is it? 我是说,这样不会显得歧视同性恋吧?
I mean, I don't think you're all the same or anything. 我觉得你和他们不一样
- Of course not, no. - Thank you. - 当然不介意 - 谢谢你
I don't know if I was everything Katie had always dreamed her gay BFF would be, 我不知道自己是不是Katie心中的“永远的好姐妹”
but I tried my best. 但是我尽量做到最好
But more importantly, I talked her into mailing Kick-Ass. 但最重要的是,我劝她给超屌侠寄了封电邮
Long story short, this particular lame duck of hers 长话短说,他的那位“可怜人”
turned out to be more of a lame cobra. 结果是一条毒蛇
She didn't want the money back that she'd given him 她并不想要回她的钱
or an apology for the black eye he'd given her. 或是为他打她而道歉
She just wanted him to get that they were through 她只想告诉他他们玩儿完了
and leave her alone. 让他离自己远一点
And let's be real, no other request could have given me more pleasure. 坦率地讲,就这个请求才是我最乐意完成的
Who the fuck are you supposed to be, the Green Condom? 你他妈是什么东西啊,绿色保险套?
You know it ain't Halloween for another few months, kid? 离万圣节还有好几个月呢,小子
I'm here to see Rasul. 我来见Rasul
Who the fuck are you? 你他妈谁啊?
I'm... I'm a friend of Katie's. 我是超……我是Katie的朋友
Kids nowadays in their tights. 现在这帮穿紧身衣的小屁孩儿
So, which one of you guys is Rasul? 呃,你们谁是Rasul?
I'm Rasul. Can't you tell by my big titties? 我就是Rasul,你能从的大咪咪看出来的吧?
What is this? Trick or treat or something? 这货啥玩意儿?你来要糖的吗?
Fuck! Now I'm dead. 操!这下我死了
I have a message for Rasul about Katie Deauxma. 我帮Katie Deauxma给Rasul带个口信
- Katie? - You're Rasul? - 你是Rasul?
Okay. You gotta stay away from Katie now. It's over. 你最好离凯蒂远点,你们两个结束了
So if you just leave her alone, everything will be fine. 你只要离开她一切都会好的
What? 啥?
Yo, kid, who the hell are you? And what is this? 小子,你他妈是谁?你这身什么玩意儿?
I'm Kick-Ass. Look me up. 我是超屌侠,你可以上网搜一下
And this is me giving you a message. 我超屌侠亲自来这告诉你
Leave Katie alone. 离Katie远点
Or what? 要不怎么?
Or I'll come back 要不我会回来
and break your fucking legs. 打断你的狗腿
I'm right here now, baby. What's up? 我现在就在这嗯,宝贝,想怎样?
Oh, fuck! 哦,我操!
Hold him. 抓住他
You are so fucking dead, man. 你他妈死定了
Okay, you cunts, let's see what you can do now. 你们这帮傻逼,让我看看你们有什么本事
Eeny, meeny, miny, moe. 1,2,3,4
Oh, shit! 哦,操!
What the fuck? 搞毛啊?
Hey, I got one of those. 嘿,我也有一把耶
Come on. 来吧
So you want to play. 你想玩玩是吧
What the fuck? 我了个去?
Dude, that is one gay-looking Taser. 靠,这泰瑟枪可够Gay的呀
Relax, we're on the same team. 别紧张 我们是同行
- Hey, get up. - No... - 嘿,起来 - 小心……
Now, Hit Girl, we always keep our backs where? 超杀女 我说过永远要把后背靠哪儿?
To the wall, Daddy. I know. 要靠墙,我知道的老爸
It won't happen again. 下次不会了
- Nice shot, by the way. - Thank you. - BTW,好枪法 - 谢谢
Let's go. 我们走
Hey, hey, asshole. Can't use the front door now. 嘿,笨蛋,现在可没法走前门了
Wait, wait, wait! 等等等等!
What? 干嘛?
Who are you? 你是谁?
Me? 我吗?
I'm Hit Girl. 我是超杀女
And that's Big Daddy. 那是大老爹
Come on. 跟上
Come on! 快来!
Hit Girl and Big Daddy, they were the real deal. 超杀女和大老爹,他们玩儿真的
Me? 我呢?
I was just a stupid dick in a wetsuit. 我就是个穿潜水服的傻逼
What is this? What am I looking at here? 这是什么?这拍的什么东西?
It was Sal's phone. They found it in his hand. 这是Sal的手机,在他手上找着的
He must have taken that right before he died. 肯定是临死前拍的
I know this sounds fucked up, Frankie, but that guy in the picture, 我知道这听起来有点二,Frankie,可是照片那个
I think it's that superhero nutjob from the TV. 我觉得就是电视那个超级二逼英雄
Who? 谁?
Kick-Ass? 超屌侠?
One guy? 一个人?
Hold on, you're telling me one guy killed eight of my men tonight? 等等,你说这家伙今晚自个儿杀了我8个人?
Eight at Sal's place, four at that kid Rasul's. Sal那边是8个,Rasul那边4个
We have no merchandise on the street at all? 我们街上已经没有卖货的了?
Right. 没错
- One guy? - I think. - 一个人? - 我猜是
Man, if you're right, we're gonna look like the biggest bunch of pussies in New York. 靠,要是这样,我们八成就像是纽约最大的一帮胆小鬼
What do you want me to do? 你希望我咋办?
I want Kick-Ass's fucking head on a stick, and I want it now. 我要拿超屌侠做人头串串香
I didn't say anything to anyone, I swear. 我谁都没告诉,我发誓
Good move, Ass-Kick. Let's keep it that way. 这很明智,挨扁侠,要保持下去
You know what this is? 知道这是什么吗?
It's all the cartridge crap that comes out of your gay little Taser when you fire it. 这是从你那个Gay型泰瑟枪上打出来的电芯
You do know the police could have traced this right back to you if they'd found it? 你知道警察能用这玩意儿追踪到你吧?
But lucky for you, I picked it up. 但是幸运的是我发现了
Thank you. 谢谢
Let's call it insurance. Makes it easier for us to take your word. 这是为了确保你能严守秘密
See, we like you, but we don't trust you. 知道吗,我们蛮喜欢你,但我们并不信任你
Don't take it personal, though. We don't trust anybody. 不是针对个人的,我们谁也不信任
I rerouted your IP address. Finding you was way too easy. 我重定向了你的IP地址,之前想找到你太容易了
Shit. Shit, I hadn't thought... 靠,靠,我都没想到过……
My God, I... I owe you. 天啊,我欠你们的
You know what? I'm thinking of just shutting my site down anyway. 知道吗? 我本来也是要把网站关了
Quitting. I mean, this is... 我不干了,我是说,这……
It's fucking insane. I'm in way over my head. 太他妈疯狂了,我可承受不了
It's a shame. You have potential. 真可惜,你蛮有潜质的
Your call, but you know we're around if you need us. 你随便,但如果你需要我们,我们就在你身边
How do I get a hold of you? 我怎么联系你们?
You just contact the mayor's office. He has a special signal he shines in the sky. 打电话给市长,他会向空中发特殊信号
It's in the shape of a giant cock. 形状是个巨型大鸡巴(恶搞蝙蝠侠的蝙蝠信号)
You need us, put on your website that you're on vacation. 需要的话在你的网页发信息说去度假了
We'll find you. Hit Girl, back to headquarters. 我们就会找你 超杀女,回总部
Sweet dreams. 做个好梦
I need you to get rid of Kick-Ass. 你得帮我干掉超屌侠
- Yo. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's up? - What's up? - 诶?诶?咋回事儿? - 咋回事儿?
Kick-Ass is killing my men, Gigante, that's what's up. 超屌侠在杀我的手下,Gigante,你说咋回事儿
My condolences, Frank. 我很同情你
But I'm afraid I can't help you out on this one. 但这次我恐怕帮不了你的忙
Little bit outside my jurisdiction. 那不在我的职权范围
Outside your jurisdiction? 不在我的职权范围
You're a fucking cop, and he's breaking the law. 你他妈的是警察,他犯法了
That's so inside your jurisdiction, it's ball-deep in your jurisdiction's ass. 绝对在你的职权范围里,他鸡巴都插在你职权的屁眼里了
Listen, cops pay me to nail the bad guys, you pay me not to. 听着,警察花钱让我去抓坏人,你花钱让我别去
Everything else is in the gray area. 其他的都是灰色地带
Yeah. Fuck you very much, Vic. Just do it, okay? 是吗,操死你妈逼的,Vic 帮我办了,行不?
Un-fucking-believable. 真他妈的难以置信
Where's Cody? He's late. Cody在哪?他迟到了
Thank you, Cody. We appreciate your co-operation. Cody,我们非常感谢你的合作
Let me out now? I gave you all them names and addresses. 我能走了吗? 地址姓名我都告诉你了
Hey, I won't say nothing to nobody. 嘿,这事儿我谁都不会告诉的
You and your crazy midget friend can go bash whoever you want... 你跟你那个发疯的侏儒朋友随便干谁都行……
Hey, come on. Hey, I know some very bad people uptown, 嘿,拜托,我认识上城区很多坏人的
really nasty individuals. Let me go. Hey, come on! 都是超坏的,放我走吧,嘿,求你了
Hey, don't do this! You don't need to do this! 嘿,别这样!你犯不着这样啊!
Come on. Oh, shit... Please! 拜托,哦,操……求你了!
Hey! God! No, please, please! 嘿!上帝!不,求你了,求你了!
Come on, no, no! 拜托,不,不!
What a douche. 这家伙真烦
You have done self tan before, right? 你给自己做过SPA吧?
Yeah, like, I do it all the time. 没错,常常做
Murder, superheroes breaking into my bedroom, 杀手,超级英雄闯到我卧室
my life had turned into some fucked-up dream I couldn't wake up from. 我的生活成了醒不来的乱七八糟的梦
Even the good parts were totally surreal. 就连好的方面都有些超现实
Hey, I read those old Ditko Spider-Mans you gave me. 嘿,你给我的蜘蛛侠我看了
They're actually pretty good. 棒极了
Yeah, they are. 当然
And it's been a whole week since I've heard from Rasul. Rasul已经有一周没来烦我了
That's great. ……那太棒了
Once upon a time, there were two supercops, called Daddy and Marcus, 很久很久以前,有两个超级警察,老爹和Marcus
who were very good at getting bad guys. 他们抓坏人很有一套
Frank D'Amico was the baddest guy of them all, Frank D'Amico是恶霸中的恶霸
and he came up with a plan to get rid of Daddy. 他处心积虑要除掉“老爹”
Being framed as a drug dealer was the worst possible thing 被栽赃贩毒
that could have happened to Daddy. 是“老爹”这辈子遇见的最倒霉的事儿
Prison was not his natural habitat. 监狱不是他应该待的地方
He was very upset. 他非常的困扰
With Daddy in prison, his pregnant wife was all alone 当“老爹”坐牢的时候,他怀孕的妻子孤苦无依
and could not cope. 失去了对生活的希望
But all clouds have a silver lining, and out of her death, 但世事无绝对,就在她濒死之际
Mindy was born! Mindy诞生了
Marcus became the child's guardian, Marcus成为了她的监护人
and Daddy started a plan of his very own. “老爹”展开了他自己的计划
Five years later, he left prison, and he was ready. 五年之后 他出狱了 此刻他已经准备好了
Now, it was time for Mindy to get ready, too. 现在该是让Mindy也准备好的时候了
How'd you find me, Marcus? 你是怎么找到我的,Marcus?
One of us is still a cop, remember? 我俩之中还有一个是警察,记得吗?
Is this how you brainwashed Mindy? 你就是这样给Mindy洗脑的吧
You say brainwashed. I say made it into a game. 你说是洗脑,我说是这是寓教于乐
You call this playing, Damon? 你管这叫游戏,Damon?
Vigilante justice, mass murder. Come on, partner. 滥用私刑,屠杀,得了吧老搭档
So where is she? - 她在哪儿
- She's safe. - Can I see her? - 她很安全 - 我可以见见她吗?
I miss her. 我很想念她
I miss you both. 我很想念你们俩
I appreciate your concern. But you need to go now. 我很感谢你的关心,但是你得离开了
I should warn you, that asshole Gigante is looking for Kick-Ass. 我得提醒你,那个混蛋Gigante正在到处找超屌侠
He got something to do with you, Damon? 他跟你有什么瓜葛吗,Damon?
You started some kind of fucked-up superhero club? 你成立了什么落魄超级英雄俱乐部吗?
- Never heard of him. - Okay, well, heads up, all right? - 从没听说过他 - 好,不说也行,提醒过你了哦
You keep carrying on like you've been carrying on, 你再不见好就收
it's only a matter of time before Gigante is looking for you. Gigante迟早会找开始找你的
He's been on Frank D'Amico's payroll ever since you passed up the opportunity. 自从你当初拒绝那个机会,他就一直在收Frank D'Amico的贿赂
You know I'm not gonna stop. 你知道我不会停手的
Not until D'Amico and his whole damn operation 我不搞定D'Amico,把他的产业烧成灰挖坑埋了
are burnt to ashes and buried. 是不会罢休的
It ain't gonna bring her back, Damon. 即使这样她也不可能活过来了
This is not the life for Mindy. 这不是Mindy该有的生活
You owe that kid a childhood. 你欠这孩子一个正常的童年
I'll tell you who owes her a childhood! 我告诉你谁欠她一个正常的童年
Frank D'Amico!
Holy shit. 天啊
I don't fucking believe it. 简直他妈的不敢相信
Follow him, around the corner. 快跟住他
Not too fast. 别开太快
What's with the high-fives? 他还跟粉丝击掌
I'll give you a motherfucking high-five. 等下我他妈也给你个击掌
High-fiving bullshit. Keep going, keep going. 击掌个屁,妈逼的,跟住他,跟住他
Not too close. 别跟太近
He's going in the alley. 他进小巷了
Okay, when I tell you, stop the car. Ready? 好,听我的信号,停车,准备好了吗?
Hey, Kick-Ass. 超屌侠
How you doing? 你好啊?
Kill my men, huh? 你敢动我的人？
Take my fucking coke? 吞我的可卡因?
Whoa! Whoa! Boss, what are you doing? 我靠!老板,你这干嘛呢?
- Boss, we gotta go, man. Come on, let's go. - Fucking scumbag! - 老板,我们得跑路,快 - 操你妈的傻逼!
Frank, Frank, Frank, come on, he's had enough. Come on. 法兰克,够了,走了
He's had enough. Come on. 够了,走吧
What the fuck are you looking at? 你他妈的看什么啊?
Frank.
Come on, come on, come on, come on, let's go. We gotta go. 走了,走了,走了
Shit. Come on, come on, get in. 我操,走了,上车
He was so young. No one should have to die that way. 他还很年轻,没人应该就那么死了
I mean, I just can't believe he's dead, that's all. 我是说,我简直不敢相信他居然死了
I know. But, Katie, 我能理解,但是,Katie
guys like Rasul, they get mixed up in stuff... 像Rasul这种人做了很多的坏事^
No, I know, I know. But what if it was my fault? 我知道，但是这会不会是我的错?
What if Kick-Ass did it? 会不会是超屌侠干的?
I mean, I feel like I should call the cops or something. 我是说,我觉得我应该报警之类的
What? You're talking crazy. 啊?说啥疯话呢
There's no way. He probably didn't even read your e-mail yet. 根本就不可能,他也许根本还没看到你的电邮呢
- Yeah. - You've got nothing to worry about. - 是吗 - 没什么好担心的
I'm so glad you're here. 很感谢你来陪我
I was such a mess. 我只是有点乱了
That's okay. 没事的
- No problem. - You're the best. - 没事 - 你真体贴
I hope it's okay to say this, but... It so sucks that you're gay. 我希望你别介意... 你当同性恋真是白瞎了个好男人了
I don't fucking believe this. "超屌侠模仿者被杀" 简直他妈的不敢相信
What kind of children's enter-fucking-tainer is that? 这他妈的是逗小孩儿的玩意儿吗?
What kind of kid has a... A Spider-Man party, sure, but a fucking Kick-Ass party? 这帮小孩儿玩什么……开"蜘蛛侠派对"就算了
What, are they selling paper plates and napkins down at the store now? 现在到处都是他,连他妈的纸巾上都有
Frank, you're scaring me. You're losing it. 法兰克,你吓到我了,你失控了
Since when did you start getting your hands dirty again? And in public! 你什么时候开始自己动手了?还在光天化日之下!
Since when I ask you fucks to deliver me Kick-Ass, 就在我叫你们这帮饭桶抓"超屌侠"的时候
- and you don't deliver, that's when. - Give me a break. It's been a week. - 可你却啥屁都没做到 - 你得让我休息休息,我都找了一周了
We e-mailed him. We got half the crew out doing petty crimes as bait. 我们给他写电邮,派了一半手下出去惹事当诱饵
We're busting our asses here. 我们都在屁颠儿屁颠儿地干活呢
What the hell are you doing? 我靠,你要干什么?
You're back on the powder now, as well? 又开始嗑药?
"Mommy, I want a Kick-Ass party." Dumb little fucks. “妈咪 我想办个超屌侠派对”,小傻逼
- I know a way you can get him. - Shit. - 我有办法抓到他 - 该死
Chris, how long you been there? 克里斯 你在那儿听多久了
What the hell are you doing? Get the hell out. 你干嘛呢 滚出去 - 听什么
Do you want to hear it or not? 你到底要不要听?
- Hear what? - Okay, look, - 听什么? - 听着
you're a superhero and you're lonely, but you can't trust anyone 你是个一个超级英雄,你很孤独,但你不会相信任何人...
'cause either they'll expose your secret identity... 因为他们会曝光你的秘密身份
Comic books this kid reads all fucking day long. 这孩子整天就他妈知道看漫画书
The point is there's only one way a superhero can trust a stranger. 关键是,要超级英雄相信陌生人只有一个途径
And I can be that stranger. You just gotta give me a chance. 我可以成为那个人,你们就给我一次机会吧
I know I can do it. I just need a few things. 我能做到的,只要几样东西就够了
Like what? 比如说呢
I need these things. 我需要这些东西
What, are you fucking kidding me? What the hell is this? 你他妈的耍我吧,这是什么屁?
It's everything I need. 这就是我要的东西
And you might have to screw someone over, like Louie, or something. 可能还需要你整蛊个人,比如Louie或者谁谁的
- Louie? Hey, Chris. - Or somebody. It doesn't have to be Louie. - Louie?嘿,Chris? - 或者谁都可以,不一定要Louie
- Tony! - Tony.
- Tony? - I hate Tony. - 我讨厌托尼
Yeah, fuck Tony. He's a scumbag. 行啊,反正Tony是个傻逼
I swear, Dad, if you let me do this, it's gonna work. 老爸,如果你让我办这事,保证能成
Tony. 就Tony吧
Tony Romita, one of America's most-wanted crime kingpins, 托尼-罗曼达 美国跨省通缉的犯罪头子之一
was arrested in Queens today 在接到自称超级英雄的某人报警之后……
after a 911 call from someone claiming to be a superhero... ……于今天在皇后区被逮捕
So, how are things going with Katie? 你跟凯蒂发展的怎么样?
Just peachy. 哦～春意正浓～
We had a sleepover and spent the whole night 我们一块过夜……
watching the entire Ugly Betty box set and did pedicures. 看了一夜的《丑女贝蒂》,还做足疗
I'm telling you, the longer you wait, the worse it's gonna get. 我可跟你说,夜长梦多啊,别等了,表白吧
I know. I was gonna tell her. It's just, she seems so happy. 我知道 我本想告诉她的 但是她正开心
- I don't know when's the right time. - Now's your chance. - 我不知道什么时候说合适 - 现在你机会来了
- She didn't see that, did she? - Hey, guys. - 她没听见吧 - 你们好
- Hi! - Hi, sweetie. - 嗨! - 嗨,亲爱的
Did you watch the TV? The new superhero guy? 你们看新闻了吗?那个新超级英雄?
- How cool is that? - What? - 你们觉得他怎么样? - 啥?
- Hey, look. - Could you turn it up, please? - 嘿,看那 - 可以调大声一点吗
- Check this out. ...dressed as Kick-Ass. - 快看 ……穿得像超屌侠一样
But it seems that far from being put off, this individual, who calls himself Red Mist, 但他似乎还不打算脱下这套衣服, 这个人,自称“红雾侠”的人
has decided to take crime-fighting to a new level, 决定将打击犯罪提高到新的层次
as his actions last night proved. Red Mist, how do you see it? 他昨晚的壮举就是明证 红雾侠,你是怎么看的?
Well, I guess folks have just had enough of living in fear, you know, 呃,我想人们已经受够了在恐惧中生活
and Kick-Ass really proved that one individual can make a difference. 超屌侠证明了个人是可以做出改变的
So if anyone out there needs help, I'll be fighting crime 25/8. 所以不管谁需要帮助 我都是一周8天每天25小时打击犯罪
And I'm just one click away. Redmist. Org. 只需要访问我的网站“红雾侠.org”
Can we turn that off now? What's so special about that guy? 可以把那个关了吗? 那个家伙有什么特别的?
He caught, like, a drug dealer, some most-wanted guy. 他抓住了一个大毒枭,跨省通缉的家伙
You saw him bringing out like a ton of stuff. 你看见他搬出足足一吨毒品吧
That's pretty cool. 太酷了
He's got a way better costume than Kick-Ass, too. 他的行头好像比超屌侠的拉风多了
- He's got a cape. - Yeah. - 他有个披风 - 没错
- Capes rock. - Yeah, I'm kind of feeling the cape. - 披风杀必死 - 没错,我开始对那个披风来感觉了
He looks good. 他看起来不错
What, better than Kick-Ass? 啥,比超屌侠还好?
I mean, they're both kind of hot. I just think Red Mist has a better body. 我是说,他们都挺性感 我就是觉得红雾侠身材更好
Don't you think, Dave? 你不觉得吗Dave?
Yeah, Dave, what do you think? 是啊,Dave,你怎么看?
Is he the kind of guy you'd go for, with all that leather? 你不就喜欢这类型的男人吗,全身皮衣? (暗指Dave是Gay,喜欢搞SM)
No, Marty. No, he's not really my type. 不,Marty。不,他不是我那盘菜
红雾侠-点击量六百万！
红雾侠来信
告诉我个时间地点，我们见个面 ——红雾侠
Kick-Ass! 超屌侠!
Red Mist. 红雾侠
Shit! Fuck me, that kind of hurt. 靠!我了个去,他妈的疼
- Are you okay? - Yeah, no, I'm cool. - 你没事儿吧? - 啊啊,没事儿
I can't believe you're here, man. Like, you're my hero. 真不敢相信你就在我眼前 你是我的偶像
You inspired me. No Kick-Ass, no Red Mist. 是你启发了我,没有你超屌侠就没有我红雾侠
- Seriously. - Wow. - 真的 - 哇～
- Hey, really? - Straight up. And listen, if you... - 真的假的? - 千真万确 听着,如果你……
I don't know, if you wanted me to be your sidekick or something... 怎么说,如果你想让我当你的副手之类的……
You wanna be my sidekick? 你想当我的副手?!
Yeah, man! You and me together, we would own! 可不!你和我,一起,天下无敌啊!
You wanna go fight some crime? 你想去打击点犯罪吗?
What you mean, like, right now? 什么意思,现在?
Yeah, man, come on. I got something I wanna show you. 是啊老兄,走吧 我有东西给你看
I mean, like, to be honest with you, 我说,跟你说实话
I only ever fight crime between like 9:00 and 2:00, weekdays. 我从来都是工作日晚上9点到2点打击犯罪
So I'm gonna need to get back pretty soon. 所以我过一会儿就该回家了
Sweet! 太屌了!
- Is that yours? - Meet the Mist Mobile. - 这是你的? - 我叫它迷雾战车
SatNav. Got my iPhone, so I can check the websites 卫星导航,带着我的iPhone,这样就可以边开车
for emergencies when I'm driving around. 边上网搜索紧急事件
Got a little bit of mood lighting right there. 车上装着红灯制造些气氛
Rearview camera, no big deal. 后视摄影机,都小意思
Check this, you're gonna fucking love this. 看这个,他妈的包你喜欢
The mist. “迷雾”
Hey. 嘿!嘿!嘿!嘿!
That's right, we're superheroes. You love us. 没错,我们都是超级英雄 仰慕我们吧
- Smoke? - No. - 抽不? - 不
I feel a little weed takes the edge off things when I'm on patrol, you know? 巡逻的时候抽点大麻可以缓解压力
Going up against a crowd can get kind of scary, don't you think? 冲到人群里难免害怕,你不觉得吗
Something wrong? 哪儿不对劲么?
Yeah. You're so not how I expected. 呃,你跟我想象的不太一样
I got this e-mail from this chick. 有个妞给我发邮件
She said this guy's been following her home from work. 她说下班时有人老是跟踪她
I got her address and stuff. You wanna check it out? 我有她的地址,你想去查看吗?
- Sure, why not? - Cool. - 当然,干嘛不去? - 酷～
So we're sitting there totally naked, right? 我们就那么全身赤裸地做着嘛
I told her, "Sit on my lap, we'll talk about the first thing that comes up." 我跟她说,“坐我腿上,我们来谈谈第一个‘站起来’的那个东西”
- Yeah? - Just got the text. He's on his way. - 喂? - 刚收到短信,他过来了
He did very good. 他干得不错
- Don't kill him till I get there. - Right. - 在我来之前不准杀他 - 遵命
Looks like reading all them comics paid off, huh? 看那么多漫画书还是有点用的,是吧?
Your boy did good, Frankie. 你孩子做的不错,Frankie
He's his father's son. 虎父无犬子
I forgot. 差点忘了
What the fuck? 我操!!!!!
Shit. 妈的
- Hey, what are you doing? - There are people in there. - 嘿,你干嘛去? - 里面还有人啊
Yeah. Shouldn't we call the fire... 呃……我们要不要报火警……
Shit! 靠!
Mikey.
Fuck. 我操!
- Shit. Fuck. - Red Mist! - 妈的 我操 - 红雾侠!
Red Mist! Red Mist! 红雾侠!红雾侠!
Hey. Hey, man, can you hear me? Hey. 嘿 嘿伙计,能听见我说话吗?
Jesus Christ! 耶稣基督啊!
Red Mist! Red Mist! 红雾侠!红雾侠!
Where the fuck are you? 你他妈在哪儿?
We gotta get the hell out of here. Dude, move your fucking ass! 我们得赶紧出去 你他妈能不能动弹一下啊!
Holy shit! 我了个去!
- Did you see those bodies? - Yeah, man. - 你看到那些尸体了吧? - 是啊,老兄
- Why'd you save the teddy? - What? - 你救这个泰迪熊干嘛? - 啥?
I don't know, man. Come on. 我也不知道啊,快走吧
Come. 进来
What the hell are you doing, Frank? 你他妈在干什么呢,Frank?
You know I can't be here. What if somebody saw... 你知道我不能过来 要是被谁看见了……
That motherfucker Kick-Ass burnt down my warehouse 那个傻逼超屌侠烧了我的库房
and killed my men, Gigante. 还杀光了我的手下,Gigante
Wait, wait, wait. Slow down. Kick-Ass? 等等等等等等,慢点说 超屌侠?!
- Are you sure? - You gotta help me, Vic. - 你敢确定? - 你得帮我啊,Vic
My son was there, and he's still missing. 我儿子当时在那,还没有找到他
They're all dead! Everybody in the warehouse is dead. 他们都死了!库房里所有人都死了
Put the gun down, Vic. It's Chris. 把枪放下,Vic 他是Chris
Chris is Red Mist? Chris就是红雾侠?
It's not Red Mist you gotta worry about. It's Kick-Ass. 你该担心的不是红雾侠,而是超屌侠
No, no, no, it's not. Kick-Ass is just some geek, Dad. 不不不,不是 超屌侠就是个傻逼宅男
You don't have to worry about him. You need to watch this. 你不用担心他 你得看看这个
- Why, what does it do? - Are you fucking kidding me? - 为什么,这玩意儿干啥的? - 你他妈跟我开玩笑吗?
- What? - God damn it, just sit down. - 怎么啦? - 操,别管,坐那儿
What are you doing? What the hell is that thing? 你干嘛呢?那玩意儿到底干啥用的?
You bought this to spy on the nanny when I was a kid. Don't you remember? 你不记得吗 我小时候 你买来监视保母的
- What, and you put it in the warehouse? - Yeah, I thought it'd be cool - 你把它放在了仓库里? - 是啊,我觉得
to put the unmasking of Kick-Ass on the Internet, okay? 把超屌侠的真面目发到网上去爆爽的,不行吗?
Watch. 瞧着
I told her, "Sit on my lap, we'll talk about the first thing that comes up." 我跟她说,“坐我腿上,我们来谈谈第一个‘站起来’的那个东西”
- Yeah? - Just got the text. He's on his way. - 喂? - 刚收到短信,他过来了
He did very good. 他干得不错
- Don't kill him till I get there. - Right. - 在我来之前不准杀他 - 遵命
Who the hell is this guy? 这家伙他妈的是谁?
I don't know, Dad. 我不知道,爸
But Kick-Ass told me we're not the only superheroes in town. 但是超屌侠告诉我 我们不是城里唯一的超级英雄
Maybe he knows who this guy is. 也许他认识这个人
I want this place locked down. 整栋大楼戒严
Nobody comes in, nobody goes out. 没人可以进来,没人可以出去
Not until somebody finds this cocksucker 直到有人抓到这个臭鸡巴
and pulls his fucking lungs out through his ass. 然后从他屁眼里把他妈的肠子扯出来!!!
Listen, they're on to you. 听着,他们在查你了
Do you hear me? They're on to you. 你听见没?他们卯上你了
I thought they were looking for Kick-Ass. 我以为他们找的是超屌侠
Not anymore. Gigante just put on a little movie-show for us. 不再是了,Gigante刚给我们放了段小电影
Different superhero in a warehouse, killing a whole bunch of D'Amico's guys. 仓库里有个新的超级英雄干掉了D'Amico整伙手下
I'm gonna take a wild guess that was you. 我怎么猜都只能是你啦
- I killed all the cameras. - Apparently not. - 我当时把所有摄影机都砸了 - 看来没有
Look, bro, you need to get ghost. Hide yourself quick. 兄弟,你得马上躲起来,越快越好
Appreciate it. 多谢了
Mindy, 明蒂
no more homework, baby doll. 不用做家庭作业了,宝贝儿
It's time for Frank D'Amico to go bye-bye. 是时候把Frank D'Amico干掉了
X-Men, the Fantastic Four, right now, I envy the crap out of them. X战警,神奇四侠,我现在连他们的屎都羡慕
Everything was out of control. I didn't know what the hell to do. 所有的一切都不在掌控之中 我不知道该怎么做
You okay, buddy? You look tired. Early night tonight, maybe? 没事吧 你看起来精神不好 今晚早点睡吧?
And there was no one I could talk to about it. 而且我找不到人谈
Dave? Hello? Dave?嘿?
Yeah, you bet I will. 嗯,好的
I'd never felt more alone. 我从未如此孤独过
I'd always dreamed of being a superhero, but this was a nightmare. 我一直梦想成为一个超级英雄,但是这就像一场噩梦
It was time to stop wearing this stupid costume. 现在我该脱下这身傻逼的妆扮了
But there was one last thing I needed it for. 但是我还需要它帮我完成最后一件事
What's the difference between Spider-Man and Peter Parker? 蜘蛛侠和彼得帕克有什么不同?
Spider-Man gets the girl. 蜘蛛侠有马子
Hey, I'm Kick-Ass. 嘿,我是超屌侠
I'm Kick-Ass. You mail me? 我是超屌侠 你给我发过邮件?
Wait... 等……
Fuck! Fuck! 我操!我操!
Fucking freak in a mask! Get out of my house! 戴面具的倒霉傻逼!滚出我家!
I'm not gonna hurt you, all right? 我不会伤害你的,好不?
No, no, no! It's me, it's me! 别别别!是我,是我!
All right? I was only trying to surprise you. I'm... 好不?我只不过是想给你个惊喜,我是……
- Dave? What the fuck are you doing? - I'm sorry. - Dave?你他妈干啥来了? - 对不起
- Why are you dressed as Kick-Ass? - Because I am Kick-Ass. - 你打扮的跟超屌侠一样干嘛? - 因为我就是超屌侠
- What are you talking about? - And I'm also not gay. - 你说啥呢? - 而且我还不是个基佬
- Fuck! - And I'm an idiot and a shit friend. - 我操! - 而且我是个2B和一个傻叉朋友
I lied to you, I know. 我骗了你,我知道
- Oh, my God. - I know. If it makes you feel any better, - 哦,天啊 - 我知道 如果这能让你觉得平衡点儿
I don't think you can hate me any more right now than I hate myself. 我比你恨我更加恨我自己(%&*#\%&@$……)
Please, I'm... 请你……
Look, I'm really, really sorry. 我真的很抱歉很抱歉
I've never met anyone who's as beautiful and as kind and lovely as you. 我从来没有遇到像你这么漂亮善良的女孩
You deserve better. 你该有个更好的归宿
- Dave. - Yes? 啥?
My mom has the burglar alarm on downstairs, 我妈在楼梯上装了防盗系统
so you should probably use the window. 所以你最好走窗户
Or... 或者……
Or you could just stay. 你也可以留下来
Stay? 留下来
What, like when we have a sleepover? 啥,像上次过夜看电视那样?
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. 对不起 我不想吓到你的
Wow. 哇哦～
We gotta get over it, 我们要翻上去
on top of it, and then into it, right in the middle of it. 跑到他们屋顶,然后再冲进去,直捣黄龙
Daddy, I think I found one. 老爸,我发现了好玩意
It's perfect, and they can deliver it in three days. 太完美了,三天就能到货
It's 300,000 bucks. 但是得花三十万美金
Can you think of anything else you'd rather spend it on? 舍不得孩子套不着狼
Oh, my gosh! 哦我靠呀!
- That is cool. - Yeah. - 这玩儿酷 - 耶～
Add to shopping cart. 加进购物车
Okay. 搞定
Out of Kick-Ass and Red Mist, who do you think would win in a fight? 超屌侠和红雾侠打的话谁会赢?
Why are they fighting? That seems stupid. 他们干嘛要打?多2呀
- What do you think? - I don't know, but I think Kick-Ass is cuter. - 你怎么想的? - 我不知道,但我觉得超屌侠更可爱
Really? 真的?
I, for one, would definitely fuck his brains out if I got the chance. 我呢,要是给我机会的话我非把他脑浆爆出来!
You would? 你会吗?
Definitely. 当然会
Do you feel like checking out that new Kate Hudson movie 我们去看凯特-哈德森拍的新电影怎样
where she's like a shoe designer, can't get a guy? 她演个设计鞋的,找不到男朋友的那部?
- I think we could make the next showing. - Hell, yeah. - 我猜我们能赶上下一场 - 啊～好啊
I guess we're not invited. 很明显他们没请我们
All right. You know what? Come here. 管他的,来看这个
I'm going to convert you to a comics reader right now. 我现在要把你转变成漫画书迷
Suddenly, I understood why superheroes only existed in comic books. 突然 我明白了为什么超级英雄都只出现在漫画里
I got why people didn't risk their lives for strangers. 我明白了为什么人们不会为了陌生人而犯险
Because for the first time in my life, 因为我人生第一次
I had something worth living for, 我找了活着的理由
something to lose. 一些自己害怕失去的东西
Katie worried about me getting hurt, Katie担心我的安危
so I promised her my Kick-Ass days were over. 所以我答应她结束超屌侠生涯
And the truth was I hardly missed it at all. 而事实上我根本不怀念那段日子
I hadn't even checked the website for, like, a week. 我已经一周都没上网站了
Okay, I'm off then. 我要去上班了
- No Katie tonight? - Tomorrow. - 今晚不跟Katie约会了? - 明天
Wednesdays, she's got one of those volunteer things. 她礼拜三做义工
You seem like a different guy, you know that? 你变了很多,自己发现没?
Your mom would have been so happy to see you out of your shell like this. 妈妈肯定很高兴看到你不再畏畏缩缩了
Have a good night. 晚安
老兄啊，你他妈在哪？我们得见一面！ ——红雾侠
- Hey, baby. - Hey, what's going on? - 嗨,宝贝儿 - 嗨,啥事儿啊?
I gotta do a Kick-Ass thing. 我得再干一次超屌侠的活儿
What? I thought you were done with that. 啊?你说要停手的
This is the last time. I totally swear. 这是最后一次,我发誓
I worry about you. 我很担心你
Well, I wish you wouldn't worry. 嗯,我希望你不要这样
I can't help it. I do because I... 我控制不了啊,我这样是因为我……
I care about you a lot. 因为我超在乎你
I care about you a lot, too. 我也超在乎你
This better be pretty serious, dude, 你这次最好是大事儿
'cause I promised my girlfriend that I'm done with all this shit. 因为我答应女朋友要收手了
How about both of us being dead? Is that serious enough for you? 我们都快没命了,够不够严重?
Dead? How? 没命?怎么会?
It turns out those dead guys from the warehouse 仓库里那些家伙
had some bad motherfuckers for friends, and they think we did that shit. 有一帮恶霸朋友,他们以为是咱们杀人放火
There's a price on our heads, man. 他们悬赏要我们的脑袋啊
A price on our heads? What is this, the Wild West? 悬赏?这啥玩意儿啊,狂野大西部?
I'm not messing with you, dude. They found out where I lived. 我可没耍你啊老兄 他们找上我家了
They trashed my place. I'm fucking screwed. 他们砸了我的老窝 我他妈倒老霉了
- And you're gonna be next, okay? - What? - 下一个就是你了 - 啥?
Shit. 我靠
What do we do? 怎么办啊?
Remember you mentioned that there are other superheroes? 记得你说过有其他超级英雄?
Yeah? 呃哼?
Well, do you think they can help us? 你觉得他们能帮上忙么?
Hot chocolate, extra marshmallows. 热巧克力,加量蜜饯
Man, that looks even cooler than it did in the picture. 看起来比图片上更酷
Child, you know, that's because in the picture, it didn't have Gatling guns. 因为照片里那个还没有装上加特林机枪
Nice job. 干的好
I'm gonna take mine to bed, okay? 我可以带进房间喝吗?
Okay, baby doll. Sleep tight. 可以,宝贝,晚安
Thanks. Kick-Ass? 谢谢 是超屌侠?
You go get dressed. I'll tell him to meet us at Safe House B. 你去换衣服 我让他到B号避难所见面 超屌侠去度假了(联系暗号)
We'll have our hot chocolate when we get back. 咱们回来再接着喝热巧克力
- Okay, Daddy. - Come on. - 好的,爸 - 快去吧
- There you go. - All right. - 搞定了 - 好
- Do you know where that is? - No, but I'll just put it in the GPS. -就知道那是什么地方么? - 不,我输进GPS
- It's what it's for. - All right, let's go. - 它就是干这个的 - 好的,我们出发
Shit. 靠
Okay, okay, okay. 好好好
Well, here you are and Red Mist, too. 哦,你来了,红雾侠也来了
- Pleasure to meet you. - Good to meet you, sir. - 幸会 - 幸会
Please, come in. 请进
After you. 你先
Hit Girl, manners, honey. 超杀女,要有礼貌,宝贝
Hi, I'm Hit Girl. 嗨,我是超杀女
No! 不!
Your ass is mine! Come on. 捉到你们啦!
No, he's with me. He's okay. 不,他是我这边的
Shut the fuck up, kid. Your daddy's the boss. You go home. 闭上鸟嘴,孩子,你爸才是老大,你回家去
Are you shitting me? No, he's fine. He's with me. 少给我下命令,他没问题的,他和我一起的
- Let him go. - Get out of here. Get the fuck out of here. - 放他走 - 滚出去,他妈的滚出去
Hot damn. I always wanted one of these. 我靠这货,我一直想要这个
- You're seriously gonna take that? - Yes. - 你真想带上这个? - 是啊
Come on, sweet cheeks. 走吧,小宝贝儿
If you don't get your wannabe superhero ass in the car... 你要是再不滚车里去……
- That's funny. ...you're gonna have a lot of trouble - 你可真逗 ……你可就吃不了……
- on your hands. - That's really funny. You're so fired. - ……兜着走 - 你可太逗了,我要炒了你
- Kick-Ass... - Get him out of here. Get him out of here. - 超屌侠…… - 带他离开 带他离开
- Get him in the van. - Let go of me. Put me down. - 把他仍车上 - 放开我 把我放下
Kick-Ass, I'm sorry! 超屌侠,我对不起你!
- Get in the car. - Get in there! - 上车 - 进去吧!
You better fire this asshole. 你最好炒他鱿鱼
Ignore him... 别屌他
A bazooka? 火箭筒?
- Okay. - We had a deal, Dad. - 随便了 - 我们说好的,老爸
We had a fucking deal that I would get you the guy who did it, 我们他妈说好了我帮你把人抓到
and all I'm asking is you let Kick-Ass go. He didn't do anything wrong. 我要的就是放超屌侠走,他什么事儿也没干啊
Chris, you got to look at this from my point of view. Okay? Chris,你得从我的角度看问题,好不?
I gotta send a public service message to the people out there 我得向世人发布一条公益广告
that being a superhero is bad for your health. 超级英雄有害健康
And the Big motherfucker? Nobody knows who he is. 可那个大个子傻逼呢?根本没人听说过他
- Yeah, but that's not fair! - Yeah, life's not fair, kid. Get over it. - 这话说的,可这不公平! - 人生本就不公平,接受吧,孩子
What are you gonna do to them? 你打算怎么处理他们?
You really wanna be a part of my business? 你真想参与我的生意?
Yeah. 是啊
Then sit down, shut up and watch. 坐下来,闭嘴,看着
Frank, we're ready. Enjoy the show. Frank,我们准备好了,欣赏表演吧
- Are you controlling this right now? - I sure am. - 这个是你控制的? - 那是
Big Brother, watch and learn. 老伙计,好好学着点
Welcome back. Breaking News. 欢迎回来,号外号外
A worldwide web broadcast of the New York superhero 关于纽约超级英雄超屌侠的
who calls himself Kick-Ass is about to be shown live. 网络直播马上就要开始了
Rumors have it that this will be Kick-Ass's farewell appearance, 传闻这将是超屌侠的告别演出
that he will announce his retirement from crime fighting. 他将会宣布从打击犯罪领域退出
But as word of mouth continues to spread, 随着消息的口耳相传
Internet providers are predicting that 网络服务商预计
it could be one of the most widely-viewed live events in web history. 这将是互联网历史上收视率最高的直播事件
Wait, where's Dave? 等等,Dave在哪?
There are no clues as yet as to the exact nature... 现在还不清楚这个……的确切性质……
- Holy shit. Have you guys noticed... - He's with Katie. - 我靠,你们有没有发现…… - 他现在跟Katie好上了
- Obviously. ...come to a standstill to watch. - 多明显啊 ……万人空巷观看……
Why else would I be here? 有人陪的话我来这儿干嘛?
There's no idea as to who is behind the broadcast of this show, 不清楚是谁对此次直播负责
but we could see widespread server crashes... 但蜂拥的访问确实导致大量的服务器崩溃
Dave, why didn't you tell me this is what you were doing? Dave,你干嘛不早说你是去干这个了?
You're on the news. Call me. 你上新闻了,回我电话
We go now over live to the countdown clock as we are moments away. 马上就要开始了,我们把画面切到倒计时
超屌侠身份大揭秘 倒计时10，9，8，7……
Show time. 好戏开始了
Hello, boys and girls. 嗨,女士们先生们
Now, this... 看着,这家伙……
Well, you know who this guy is. 当然,你们知道这家伙是谁
And this guy here is Big Daddy. 而这家伙叫“大老爹”
And these are my friends. 还有这些是我朋友
Come on in, guys, say hello. 跟大家打个招呼
Yeah, yeah, there they are. Hello, hello. 他们都到齐了 大家好
Now Big Daddy and Kick-Ass are gonna help us 现在呢,“大老爹”和超屌侠将告诉你们
show you why being a hero is a bad idea. 当超级英雄是个烂主意
You know what a silent "K" is? 知道什么是静音K吗
That's when "K" is at the beginning of the word, 就是单词以K打头
but you don't pronounce it. Like in the word "Knuckleduster." 但不发K的音 就像“老虎指”这个词一样
Show them what a knuckleduster can do, guy. 让他们看看老虎指能干什么
That must have hurt! Let's see that again from the other side. 这肯定很疼吧!我们打另一边试试
Go on. Yeah, I think it did. 继续,耶,我想仍然很疼
Now in France, they say the word "stick" like this, baton. 在法语里“棍”这个单词是这么说的 "Ba-ton"
We got some of Kick-Ass's batons. 我们有超屌侠的棍子
We're gonna show you what they can do. Go ahead, boys. 给你们看看能用来干什么 动手
In America, we say "stick" like this. Baseball bat. 在美国 我们把“棍”这个词说成“棒球棍”
Which is very good for hitting knees and stomachs. 适合击打膝盖和肚子
It's also good for hitting balls. 打蛋蛋也很好用
Know what else we do? We don't do them individually. 知道我们还会干什么吗?我们不习惯一个一个上
We do them all together. Gentlemen, please. 我们喜欢群殴 先生们,请吧
Yeah. This looks very painful. 哈哈,看起来疼得不轻啊
Due to the distressing nature of the images, we are unable to broadcast the events 鉴于这些画面令人感到压力很大,我们不能继续转播
currently streaming live on the Internet. 这条网络直播信号
- Fuck. - No. No, no, no. - 操 - 别价啊
Despite initial speculation that this may be some kind of hoax or publicity stunt, 尽管先前我们怀疑是宣传噱头
it is now clear that the hostages are in genuine danger, 但现在看来 人质确实身处险境
hat all signs point to the intention to stage a live execution in the next few minutes. 迹象表明在接下来的几分钟里这可能演变为一场公开处决
Even with my metal plates and my fucked-up nerve endings, 即使我身上装了金属支架,而且神经末梢都已经犯二了
I got to tell you, that hurt. 我还是得告诉你,那真他妈疼
The kerosene. 煤油
Yes, the silent killer. 没错,沉默杀手
But not half as much as the idea of leaving everything behind. 但这样的痛苦还远远比不上抛下我拥有的一切
Katie,
my dad, 老爸
Todd and Marty. Todd和Marty
And all the things I'd never do, like learn to drive, 还有很多没做过的事,比如学开车
or see what me and Katie's kids would look like 或者看看我跟Katie的孩子长啥样
or find out what happened on Lost. 或者看看《迷失》的大结局
Spicy, spicy. 味道真不错
And if you're reassuring yourself 而且如果你确信
that I'm gonna make it through this since I'm talking to you now, 我会活着出去,因为我现在正跟你说话
quit being such a smartass. 请你别装逼了
Hell, dude, you never seen Sin City, Sunset Blvd., American Beauty? 靠,老兄,难道你没看过《罪恶都市》《日落大道》《美国丽人》?
And this, for all you cavemen out there, 而这个,告诉你们这些山顶洞人
is fire. 是火
No. 不要啊
I know. 我知道～～
Fire. Fire is good. 火真好
Fire is our friend. 火是我们的朋友
Yeah, yeah. 耶耶
Gentlemen, 先生们
time to die. 去死吧
What the... 我操……
What the fuck just happened? Hey, hey. Somebody find the lights. 怎么回事 找开关 开灯
Hello! 嘿!
Jimmy.
Jesus Christ. 老天爷啊
Bobby? Bobby?
Get the lighter! 找打火机!
It's on the floor right over there. Find the lighter. 它在那边地上 找打火机!
I got it. 我找到了
- No! - Take cover, child. - 不要! - 找掩护,宝贝!
Now switch to Kryptonite. 现在换成氪星石(他们的战斗计划暗号)!
Kryptonite. 氪星石
Go to Robin's Revenge! 展开罗宾的复仇(另一个暗号)!
Robin, Robin. 罗宾,罗宾
Show's over, motherfuckers. 表演结束了,傻逼们
Yeah! I think I'm in love with her, dude. 是啊!我觉得我爱上她了
She looks like she's about 11 years old, but... 她看起来也就11岁,可是……
I can wait! I solemnly vow to save myself for her. 我可以等!我愿意为她禁欲
That should be really difficult for you. Are you okay? 这对你而言太难了...妳还好吗?
Yeah. 嗯
Good job. 干的好
I'm so proud of you, baby doll. 我以你为傲,宝贝儿
Are you okay? 你还好吗?
But getting shot, Daddy, it hurt a lot more than when you did it. 真被枪打的时候,老爸,比你打我时痛多了
That's 'cause I used low velocity rounds, child. 那是因为我用的低速子弹,孩子
You're the kindest daddy in the whole world. 你是世上最体贴的老爸
No, I just... 不,我只是……
I love you. 我爱你
I love you, too, Daddy. 我也爱你,爹地
Sleep tight. 睡个好觉
What's your name? 你叫什么名字?
I mean your real name. 我是说你的真名
A superhero never reveals his true identity. 超级英雄从来不问出处
What? Look, you can't go on... 啥?听我说,你不能再继续了……
However you lived before, 不管你以前怎么过的
it's over. 都结束了
Is there anybody else? Your family or... 你还有其他亲人吗?家人或...
Look, I can take care of myself. 我能照顾自己
I saved your sorry ass. 我还救了你的小命
What about money, huh? All right, 'cause you got to think long term. 有生活费吗 你得有长远打算
I've got $3 million in a suitcase. 我手提箱里有300万
That "long term" enough for you? 这够“长远”了吧?
It's not all about the money. 不仅仅是钱
I owe you. 我欠你一命
If it wasn't for you, I'd be dead. 若不是你我早死了
And if it wasn't for you, 若不是你
my dad wouldn't be. 我爸爸不会死
Look, 听着
pack up whatever you need and we'll go back to my place. 收拾你的东西跟我回家
I just need to clean my... 我必须洗一下我的……
Just go. 快去吧
I meant like pajamas and clothes and stuff. You can't take that stuff to my house. 我是让你收拾睡衣外套,你不能带这些去我家
You know what my dad really would have wanted? 你知道我父亲真正想要什么吗?
He would have wanted me to finish what we started. 他想要我们结束这一切
And that's exactly what I'm gonna do. 那正是我现在要做的
Is this Frank D'Amico's place? 这就是Frank D'Amico的老巢吗?
All that security? 这么多保安?
- Are you crazy? - My mom already died for nothing. - 你疯了吗? - 我母亲已经白白送命
So I'm sure as hell not gonna let my dad die for nothing, too. 所以我他妈一定要让老爸死得其所
You can't do this on your own. 你光靠自己可不行
Exactly. 的确
Do you wanna deal with owing my dad? 你想还我爸爸的人情吗?
Then shut the hell up and pick your weapon. 那就闭嘴 选样武器
Is that what I think it is? 这是我心里想的那个吗?
Damn straight. 肯定是
And you better start reading the instructions, 你最好开始读手册
'cause you're gonna be using it in about five minutes. 以为你五分钟后就会用到它
Yo, listen up. We got five minutes, then I want you back on your posts. 听好了,我们有5分钟,然后你们都要回到岗位上
And don't leave a mess. 别拖拖拉拉的
- Everything okay? - Everything's all right, boss. - 都搞定了? - 一切就绪,老板
I can't believe I got my gun back. Look at that. 我不敢相信还能把枪拿回来 看那
You know, it's not the... 你知道这不是……
Let her in. 让她进来吧
It's a little kid. What's the matter with you? 只是个小毛孩儿,你有没毛病啊?
你没事吧,小甜心儿?
I... 我……
I lost my mommy and daddy. 我找不到爸妈了
She lost her mommy and daddy. 她和父母走散了
You want to use my cell phone? 你要用电话吗
Now can you remember the number? 你记得电话号码吗?
Help! 救我!
Had I ever been a real superhero? 我成为过真正的超级英雄吗?
The most I'd ever had to offer the world was good intentions 我对这个世界做过最大的贡献就是良好的动机
and a slightly elevated capacity to take a kicking. 和付诸实践的一点点冲动
With no power comes no responsibility. 力量越弱,责任越小 (反着说《蜘蛛侠》里的名言“力量越大,责任越大”)
Except that wasn't true. 只不过这句可不是真理
- Did you hear that? - Holy shit. - 听到动静了吗 - 马勒隔壁的
Take cover, please. 麻烦你找个掩护
Shit. 靠
No. 不要
Shit. 操啊
What the fuck? 我靠,这货是?
Get in here. Help me out! 进来,帮个手啊!
Holy fuck, Fashion, everybody's dead. 我操操操操,Fashion,人他妈都死了
She's behind the counter. She's out of ammo, okay? 她在柜台后面,没子弹了
Do you think they got them? 你觉得他们干掉她没?
If they didn't, he will. 如果他们没有,还有他呢
Get out there. 出去帮忙
Now? 现在?
Yeah, now. 是的,现在
What the fuck is going on? 妈逼的怎么回事?
We got her trapped. She's unarmed. 我们困住她了,她手无寸铁
So what in the hell are you guys waiting for? 那你们他妈的在等什么呢?
- Go get her. - Go on, man. - 去干掉她 - 去啊
- Go get her. - I ain't got no fucking gun. - 干掉她 - 我连他妈的枪都没有
I'm not going in. 我才不去
You do now. 现在可以了吧
Now move. 出去
Fuck this shit. I'm getting the bazooka. 去他妈的吧,我要去拿火箭筒
Bazooka? 火箭筒?
It's only me, boss. Everything's under control. 是我,老板,一切都在控制中
Under control? You're grabbing a fucking bazooka, you dumbass. 在控制中?你他妈拿着个火箭筒,你个傻逼
Sir? 老板?
Do it. 去吧
I always wanted to say this. 我早就想说这么一句
Say hello to my little friend! 向我的小弟弟问个好吧!
Dirty motherfuckers! 恶心操蛋的傻逼们!
Holy shit. 我了个去啊
That is one weird-sounding bazooka. 那火箭筒的声儿可真怪
Stu!
Fuck! 我操!
Get him. 干掉他
Playtime's over, kid. 游戏结束了,小孩儿
I never play. 我从来不玩游戏
Oh, really? 哦,真的假的?
Ruin my business, huh? 砸我的场子,呃?
Kill every single fucking guy on my payroll? 干掉我所有的手下?
God, I wish I had a son like you. 老天,我希望能有个像你这样的儿子
Time for a family reunion. 该让你跟家人团聚了
Hey. 嘿
Why don't you pick on someone your own size? 怎么不挑一个跟你一般大的对手?
- Are you okay? - Yeah. - 你没事吧? - 没事
Time to go home. 该回家了
Thanks, Kick-Ass. 谢谢你,超屌侠
My daddy, 我爸爸
he would have been proud of both of us. 他肯定会为我们两个而自豪
Dave.
Dave Lizewski.
I know that, dumbass. 我早就知道了,傻冒
Mindy.
Mindy Macready.
- Have a good day. Bye. - Bye. - 过个愉快的一天,拜拜 - 拜
Mindy moved in with Marcus, and he enrolled her at my school. Mindy现在和Marcus住一起,和我在同一个学校
- Bye. - Good luck. - 再见 - 好运
First school she'd ever been to, on the promise that I'd look out for her. 这是她上的第一个学校,我保证会罩着她
Hey. 嘿
Not that she needed me to. 倒也不见得她需要
Hey, new kid. 嘿,新来的小孩儿
Hi. 嗨
Lunch money. 午饭钱拿来
Now. 现在
Kick-Ass was gone, but not forgotten. 超屌侠消失了,但没被遗忘
And my world was much safer with all the new superheroes. 我的世界因为一堆新的超级英雄而更加安全
They said I was their inspiration, 他们说我启发了大家
but all I did was make a door into a world I'd dreamed about 但我所做的,只是打开了门,通往我小时候就梦想的
since I was a little kid. 那个世界的门
A world full of superheroes, huh? 充满超级英雄的世界,嗯?
As a great man once said, 一个伟人曾说过
"Wait till they get a load of me." 等着吃我一弹吧(语出《蝙蝠侠》中的小丑)
字幕合成：罗兰少爷 原创翻译：罗兰少爷 注释：罗兰少爷^_^