海 扁 王
他是宇宙的保护者 反对邪恶势力 Guardian of the Universe. Protector against the forces of evil
他可以拦截子弹 速度比火车还快 He can catch a bullet, faster than a speeding train.
轻易地在高楼大厦间穿行 He leaps tall buildings in a single bound.
在天上的 是鸟还是飞机 Up in the sky. Is it a bird, is it a plane?
白天是邮递员 晚上是超级英雄 ...Mailman by day, superhero by night.
保护纽约 免受邪恶势力的骚扰 He protects New York from the forces of evil.
非凡勇士们保护世界 ... The World has been protected by extraordinary men and women
严惩罪恶 who have dedicated themselves to fighting crime.
他的能力已经远远超越凡人 He has powers far beyond the capabilities of mere earthlings.
我一直在想为什么先前没人尝试过 I always wondered why nobody did it before me
我是说 像那些漫画书 电影 电视剧里 I mean, all those comic books. Movies. TV shows...
总会有些古怪宅男 You'd think that one eccentric loner
为自己订做服装 would have made himself a costume.
难道每天的生活真有那么精彩 Is everyday life really so exciting,
学习和工作真那么刺激 are schools and offices so thrilling,
难道只有我在幻想当英雄吗 that I'm the only one who ever fantasized about this?
算了吧 别不承认 C'mon. Be honest with yourself.
在生活的某个瞬间 At some point in our lives,
我们都想成为超级英雄 we all wanted to be a super hero.
那不是我 That's not me, by the way.
那是个有点精神问题的亚美尼亚疯子 That's some Armenian guy with a history of mental health problems.
我是谁 Who am I?
我是海扁王 I'm "Kick - Ass"
六个月前 Six months earlier
那是我 回到我最初的平凡生活 That's me. Back before any of this crazy shit happened.
你肯定猜不到我可以变成超级英雄 Guess I was the last person you'd expect to become a superhero
不是说我有什么缺陷 Not saying there was anything wrong with me.
但是我也很普通 But there's not nothing special either
我不爱运动 I wasn't into sports
数学不好 游戏也不行 I wasn't a mathlete... or a hard - core gamer...
我没有穿孔 没有饮食失调 I didn't have a piercing, or an eating disorder,
也没有3000个空间朋友 or three thousand friends on MySpace.
唯一擅长的是被女生无视 My only superpower was being invisible to girls
在朋友眼中 我也不是有趣的人 But out of my friends, man, I wasn't even the funny one.
就像许多同龄人 我只是活着罢了 Like most people my age, I just existed.
早上好 同学们 Good morning, class
请把书翻到第二幕 第二场 Please open your books to act II, scene II
推门进来看 我可能在看电视 Kick in my bedroom door, you'ld probably find me watching TV.
或者在skype跟托德聊天 Or talking to my friend Todd on Skype.
- 你在看"恶搞之家"吗 - 没有 - You watching Family Guy? - Nope.
我也没 Me neither.
上"甜甜咪咪网"看看吧 很带劲 try "hardnipplesweat.com...It's good
或者打飞机 多亏了我的英文老师 Or "jerking off". Mostly to my English teacher
戴夫·莱泽斯基 别以为我不知道 David Lizewski, don't think I haven't noticed
你在盯着我胸看 you looking at my tits?
快来抚摸我 戴夫 Oh!...I want your hand all over me...Dave...please
上学期间当然不能真刀真枪 Sure a lot of what got me through the average school day
但是为我的课后性福提供了真枪实弹 was making deposits in the wack - off warehouse for later
其实我的需求也不算多 Though, to be honest I didn't take much to set me off.
我发誓 如果荷尔蒙平衡的话 I swear, when hormones balance out
纸巾的销量会极速下跌 shares in Kleenex are gonna take a dive, man.
不是的 海扁王只是个小丑 No it's not. Kick - Ass is just some geek!
戴夫·莱泽斯基 Dave Lizewski
你不是应该专注于"哈姆雷特"上面吗 Shouldn't you be looking at Hamlet right now?
嗯 泽老师 Yes, Mrs. Zane
不好意思 Sorry
但是别误会我 But don't make me wrong
我也爱同龄的女生 I like girls in my own age, too.
特别是凯蒂·狄克斯莫 Especially Katie Deauxma.
嗨 美人儿 Hey gorgeous!
嗨 Hey!
啊, 不是 Oh, No
你是叫爱瑞卡 you meant Erika
我知道的 I know. I knew that.
我只是开个玩笑而已 I was just kidding.
好吧 O.K., cool.
天啊 oh, my God
看 我是托德的妈妈 Hey, look I'm Todd's mom.
好好笑 我是你爸 Oh, that's funny, this is your dad
不是 还是我妈 No That's still my mom, actually
我操 what the fuck?
我只是个平凡人 I was just a regular guy.
没有毒蜘蛛 不是流亡地球的外星人 No radioactive spiders. No refugee status from a doomed alien world.
你知道吗 托德说这早餐麦片还在生产 You know what? Todd said they do still make Count Chocula.
只是不在商店里卖了 They just don't sell it in the store anymore.
我妈妈突然死在厨房, 死因是动脉瘤 My mother was killed by an aneurism in the kitchen,
而不是在某条小巷被枪杀 as opposed to a gunman in an alley.
所以我也没机会说出 我要为你报仇 妈妈 So if you were hoping for any...I will avenge you, mother!
然而 不幸的是 ...You're outta luck.
我妈妈去世的18个月里 In fact, in the eighteen months since my mother died,
我明白了 日子还是一样过 the only epiphany I had was realizing that, life just goes on.
他们换包装了吗 Did they change the bee's face?
没 No
为什么没人尝试当超级英雄 How come nobody's ever tried to be a superhero?
不清楚 或许根本不可能 well, I dunno. Probably 'cause it's fucking impossible, dip - shit.
为什么 戴个面具拯救人类 有什么难的 What, putting on a mask and helping people? How is that impossible?
那不是超级英雄 你必须要有超能力 That's not a superhero, though. It has to have Super
你要变得很强大 能飞 能打 Super is like, being stronger than everybody and flying and shit.
那才是英雄 That's just hero.
不是 那不是英雄 只是个疯子 No, It's not even hero, it's just fuckin' psycho.
那布鲁斯·韦恩呢(蝙蝠侠的真实身份) Hello? Bruce Wayne?
他也没有超能力 He didn't have any powers.
但是人家有银子买装备 Yeah, but he had all expensive shit that doesn't exist.
我知道你的意思 为什么没人这么做 I thought you meant, like how come no one does it in real life.
是的 我就是那个意思 Yeah, Todd, that's what I meant.
现实就是 这样做会被海扁的 Dude if anybody did it in real life they'd get their ass kicked.
说不定过不了一天就死了 They'd be dead in like, a day...A day.
我不是说他们应该这样 O.K., I'm not saying they should do it.
我只是不明白为什么没人尝试 I just can't figure out why nobody does.
而且有这么多人追捧超级英雄 Seriously, out of all the millions of people who love superheroes
为什么不去试试 you'd think one would give it a try.
你不觉得很奇怪吗 Jesus, guys. Doesn't it bug you?
为什么大家都想成为帕里斯·希尔顿 Why do thousands of people wanna be Paris Hilton,
却没有人想成为蜘蛛侠 and nobody wants to be Spider - Man?
是啊, 她的胸部就是一飞机场 Yeah, what's with that? She has, like, no tits at all.
可能是性爱录影带吧 蜘蛛侠没有这个 Maybe it's the porn tape. He doesn't have a porn tape.
你没看过"蜘蛛侠的激情夜"吧 You never saw One Night in Spider - Man?
谁来了 Guess who?
你们难道不觉得克里斯·阿米克很可怜吗 Is it just me, or do you feel kinda sorry for Chris D'Amico?
有个有钱的老爸 要什么有什么 Yeah, must be terrible to have a rich dad and everything you want.
别说了 I wish you hadn't said anything.
我都快哭了 'Cause I feel like I'm gonna start crying.
本来就是 No, the fact that it
他总是独自一人 Yeh, but he's always on his own.
我们应该 跟他聊聊 We should, like, talk to him.
看看他想不想跟我们一起玩 See if he wants to hang with us.
我不是这个意思 只是 ... I'm not saying that we should talk to him, but
想想这样也不错 Think about it. C'mon it'll be awesome!
跟他做朋友就没人敢欺负我们了 If he was our friend, no one would ever fuck with us again!
快去 托德 Go on then, Todd.
不 你是说让我去吗 No, no, What you mean? Want me to talk to him?
呃 应该让戴夫去 Nuh - uh. Dave should go. Dave should go.
为什么 戴夫 绝对是你 去吧 Why? Dave you should totally go. Go.
别害怕 戴夫 Do not be afraid Dave
没用的家伙 You are a pussy
滚开 Fuck off.
- 吓傻了? - 是啊 - Wanna go over there? - Yeah
我吓得都快尿裤子了 You think I just shat my pants or what?
要是我是蝙蝠侠 我一定暴扁他一顿 Yeah I would just kick his ass
你啥时候扁过人了 Todd, when did you ever kick anyone's ass?
管它的 我肯定打到他下跪求饶 Whatever, man I would've just gone for his knees...
别吹牛了 You are not making sense.
我想说的是小丑那部分 What I'm saying is that in the Joker portion
蝙蝠侠打算复仇时 when he got in "Evaran" when
他发誓要摧毁小丑的大本营 he vowed to penetrate the Joker's force field
以削弱他的实力 好吧 我知道 leaving him totally vulnerable... All right. I know.
小毛孩 Pussy Patrol!
手机 钱 都交出来 Phones. Money.
别这样 Hey guys, not again Come on
手机呢 phone.
没了 上周才被抢 I don't have one! Somebody else jacked it last week!
可怜虫 Pussy
袋子给我 只是漫画而已 Gimme the bag. It's just comics.
你想被砍吗 Yo! You wanna get cut?
那个孬种 只会置身事外 Look at this asshole, just watching
坦白讲 Come on, be honest with yourself
你不想做些改变吗 would you do anything differently
我们看到别人深陷困难 希望自己可以帮忙 We see someone in trouble and we wish we can help
但是我们没有 But we don't
在这个世界里 英雄只存在漫画里 The world I lived in, heroes only exist in comic books
要是坏蛋也只在漫画里出现就好了 But I guess that would have been OK if bad guys were make believe too.
但是 不可能 But they are not
(弗兰克木材店)
弗兰克 我发誓不是我做的 Frankie. I swear I'm not making this up.
一个神秘人 陷害了我们 This fucking guy...Comes outta nowhere kicks our asses,
并偷走了可卡因 steals all the coke
是个长得像蝙蝠侠的人 This would be the guy that looks like Batman.
我没这么说 I didn't say look like Batman.
你说了 崔 你说那个人像蝙蝠侠 You did Tre. You said the the guy looked like Batman
你说他戴了面具 披着斗篷? And you said like a mask and stuff And a cape?
对 就像蝙蝠侠 Yeah like Batman.
我没说过像蝙蝠侠 我屁也没说过 I didn't say like Batman, I never said Batman?
好吧 OK
让我跟你说说现在的问题 崔 Let me tell you the problem I got with that, Tre.
跟我们合作的俄罗斯人可不是这么说的 Our mole with the Russians tells things a little different.
他说你把我的可卡因卖了 中饱私囊 according to him, you've sold him my coke and you took the money
他骗人! That's a fucking lie!
你怎么会相信 I can't believe that you would believe this shit
一个俄罗斯人的屁话 from a fucking Russian, man.
或者这么说吧 哪个借口更好 Let's see, Tre. What's more likely?
你贪心私吞了我的货 That you're a greedy little cocksucker,
还是我的货被超人偷了 是蝙蝠侠 Or that all my coke was stolen by Superman? Batman.
我没说是蝙蝠侠 I never said Batman!
够了 Enough
我儿子在外面等着和我去看电影呢 My son is waitin' out there in the car to go to the movies.
我可不想让他失望 And I aint gonna to disappoint him
乔 你处理吧 Joe, you're in charge
好的 这个借口是我迄今为止听过最烂的 Thanks - That's gotta be the worst fuckin' excuse I ever heard, Tre.
对不起让你等这么久 Sorry you had to wait, buddy.
电影还有十分钟就开始了 The movie is starting in 10 minutes
没事 我们能赶上 It's O.K. We're cool.
只是错过预告而已 We're only gonna miss the trailers.
但是我想吃爆米花 Yeah, but I wanted to, get some popcorn.
到那之后 给克里斯买爆米花 When we get in there, get Chris some popcorn.
好吗 Okay?
- 饮料呢 - 百事? - What do you wanna drink, wanna Pepsi? - That's fine
给他百事 我要加冰的 get him pepsi And I'll have an Icee.
混合果味的 Mixed
红蓝混在一起的那种 Like, when they mix the red one and the blue one?
还要包软糖 And a pack of Twizzlers.
漫画书画错了 The comic - books had it wrong.
并不是伤口 宇宙射线 It didn't take a trauma, or cosmic rays
或是魔法戒指造就超级英雄 or a power ring to make a superhero.
只是乐观和天真的结合而已 ...Just the perfect combination of optimism and naivety.
(附寄资料)
你tmd酷毙了 You are fucking awesome.
来啊 C'mon
同时 Meanwhile
爸爸 我害怕 Daddy? I'm scared.
没事的 明迪 勇敢点 C'mon Mindy, honey. Be a big girl now.
没什么好怕的 There's nothin' to be afraid of.
会很痛吗 只是几秒而已 Is it gonna hurt bad? oh, child. Only for a second, sugar.
子弹的时速超过...? Handgun bullet travels at...more than?
700英里 700 miles an hour.
时速700英里 700 miles an hour.
像这么近的距离开枪 So at close range like this,
肯定会把你打倒在地 the force is gonna take you off your feet, for sure.
但是跟击胸差不多疼 But it's really no more painful than a punch in the chest.
我讨厌被击胸 I hate getting punched in the chest.
你会没事的 宝贝 You're gonna be fine, baby doll.
怎么样 How was that?
还行吧 Not so bad.
有趣吗 Kinda fun, huh?
你现在知道是什么滋味了 Now you know how it feels,
所以有人拿枪指着你的时候不会害怕了 you won't be scared when some junkie asshole pulls a Glock.
我本来就不怕 Wouldn't have been scared anyways.
这才是我的女儿 That's my girl! 'kay.
起来 Up you get.
再打两发 然后回家 Two more rounds, and then home.
还要 Again?
那回家的路上你要带我去玩保龄球 Only if we can go by the bowling alley on the way back.
保龄球? Bowling alley?
对啊 Yep
然后吃雪糕 And then icecream after
好的 Okay.
再来两次 Two more rounds,
不畏缩 不抱怨 就这么定了 no wincing, no whining and you got yourself a deal, young lady.
我要吃热焦糖圣代 I'm gonna get Hot fudge sundae.
好主意 宝贝 Good call, baby doll!
告诉我你想要什么 So you gonna tell a little more about what you might want
作为生日礼物 for your birthday?
我想养只狗 Can I get a puppy?
你想要狗? Do you want to get a dog?
嗯 要可爱蓬松的那种 Yeah. A cuddly fluffy one.
还有电影里化妆的莎莎娃娃 And a Bratz Moviestar Makeover Sasha.
给你开玩笑的 爸爸 Just fucking with you daddy!
我想要把手工制的42型蝴蝶刀 I'd love a Benchmade model - 42 butterfly knife.
孩子 你总是没事吓我 Oh child. You always knock me for a loop.
知道么 咋了 Know what? What?
我打算给你买两把 I'm gonna get you two
- 两把? - 左右开弓 - Two? - One dollars on. Two dollars on.
你应得的 That's what you get.
时流的明镜 人伦的雅范 The glass of fashion and the mould of form,
举世注目的中心 这样无可挽回地陨落了 Th' observ'd of all observers, quite, quite down!
我是一切妇女中间最伤心而不幸的 And I, of ladies most deject and wretched,
(海扁王)
必须承认 I'll be honest,
我在前几个星期并没有打击犯罪 there wasn't a whole lotta crime fighting in those first few weeks.
即使这样 我的新工作也十分繁重 But even so, my new vocation kept me plenty busy.
我在做战前准备 I called it preparation.
如果你觉得是在做梦的话 But if you called it fantasizing,
我也无所谓 it woulda been hard to argue.
我从未感觉这么好 All I knew was I never felt so good about myself.
操 Fuck!
好吧 我还在试验当中 Okay, maybe I was still in the beta testing phase.
但这是个开始 But it was a start.
看什么看 what the fuck are you looking at?
没什么 Nothing
还不快滚 Get the fuck out of here
像每个连环杀手都知道的 Like every serial killer already knew,
光靠想象是不够的 eventually fantasizing just doesn't do it for you anymore.
是时候付诸行动了 It was time to engage
这是嘛呀? what the fuck?
你他妈的看什么看 what the fuck are you looking at?
我问你他妈的看什么 I said what the fuck are you looking at?
两个混球在偷别人 Two cheapshit losers screwing with a car
辛辛苦苦赚钱买的车 that somebody probably worked their ass off to pay for.
什么 Say what?
让他说 Leave it be man.
这个傻子喝高了 This Motherfucker is obviously high.
我没有 I'm not high.
我不准你们任意妄为 I just think it sucks you guys think you can do what you want.
乖乖地离开 我当什么都没发生过 Just walk away from the car, and we can just forget about it.
你个疯子 You crazy, man!
操你大爷的! Fuck this shit!
妈的 shit!
我恳求医护员 I came out just long enough to beg the medics
不要告诉别人我这身装扮 not to tell anybody about the costume
他承诺他不会说的 He promised he wouldn't
老爸一定会杀了我的 All I knew was that my dad was gonna kill me.
我为什么不能配枪 我是保安 Why can not I get a gun? I am the security guard
你只是个看门的 要什么枪 You're a doorman, now. You don't get a gun no more.
看看我 像个傻子 Look at me. I look like a putz.
你很不错啊, 看看这些扣子 You look sharp. Look at all them buttons
干你的活吧 开门 Do your job. Open the fucking door
日安 Have a nice day
早上好 弗兰克 Good Morning Frank
嗨 乔 最近好么 Hey Joe. How ya doin'?
不错 喝咖啡吗 Great. want some coffee?
待会再说吧 Maybe later
早上好 早上好 Good morning Angie Good morning
克里斯 早上好 乔 Chris Good Morning Joe
弗兰克 我们有麻烦了 Frank we got a thing
很大的麻烦 It's a big thing Frank
好吧 OK
不好意思 Sorry then.
去工作吧 Do what you gotta do
克里斯 你想去哪 Chris, where you think you're going?
我想跟爸爸聊下 I gotta talk to dad.
克里斯 Christopher
弗兰克 亲爱的 Frank Honey
你准备去哪啊 Where do you think you're going?
爸 我不介意参与你的公事 I don't mind you talking business. Dad
我只想在旁边听听 I was just gonna sit in there quietly.
我是说我应该开始学点东西了 对吧 I mean I should probably start learning and stuff, anyway, right?.
去把早餐吃完 Go finish your oatmeal
别这样 我还有八个月就满十八岁了 Goddamit! I'm gonna be 18 in eight months for chrissakes.
坐吧 Have a seat.
怎么了 So, what's the problem?
俄罗斯人说崔以半价又卖出了我们5公斤的货 Our Russian says Tre just sold them another 5 K's, at half price.
哪个崔 那个崔? Which Tre? Tre Tre?
对的 死了的那个崔 Right. Dead Tre.
所以说是我见鬼了么 So now I'm getting fucked in the ass by a ghost.
要不就是崔说的是实话 Or Tre was telling the truth.
所以我必须要在鬼和超级英雄之间选一个吗 What so this is my choice? I have to believe in ghosts or superheroes?
不是超级英雄的问题 Not the part about the superhero, Franky.
是有人在整他 Just that he mighta really been gaffled by somebody.
我觉得应该跟俄罗斯人好好谈谈了 I think we better invited our Russian friend over for a friendly chat.
看看到底怎么回事 See what's really going on.
嗨 早起的鸟儿 Hey, early birdy
你动作比我快啊, 我本打算给你买早餐的 You beat me to it. I wanted to get you breakfast this morning
生日快乐 宝贝 Happy birthday, sweetheart
拆开看看 check this out
谢谢 谢谢 Thank you, thank you, thank you!
天啊 Oh my God
老爸 Dad
哇 Wow
哇 老爸 Wow, dad
来 机智问答 Ok, pop quiz
这刀的专有名词是什么 What is the proper name for one of those?
菲律宾的伊莎贝拉 再来 Isabelle It's...uh...Filipino. Ask me another one.
很好 Excellent, good.
AR - 15自动步枪是哪个型号的轻型小口径枪 The AR 15 was a lighter, smaller caliber version of what design?
尤金的AR - 10 问我难点的 Eugene 7 AR - 10. Give me a hard one.
吴宇森第一部长篇电影是什么 Name John Woo's first full length feature.
铁汉柔情 Tie han rou qing The Young Dragon
看啊 Daddy look
你没在看 Hey, come on, you're not looking
有人杀了我们的人 the point is some fucker's killing our guys
没找到他之前 If you find out who that is I don't wanna see
你们谁都不能松懈 any of you bitches sitting on your asses all right!
他妈的 What the fuck you...?
喂 Hello
嗨 乔 Hey Joe, yeah
我在练习而已 No, I was just training right now
等下 one second
老爸 电话 Dad...phone.
你的电话 Dad, the phone's for you
是谁 乔 Who is it? it's Joe
怎么了 what's the problem?
那人不肯说 Frank, turns out man's got the vice here no more.
是吗 Really - aha -
但是我们有个处理木材的全新工业微波炉 But we do got a brand new industrial microwave
可以让他尝尝味道 they use her for treating the lumber.
在哪 So where is it?
你以为我会在乎 I think you must be confusing me with someone
那些破木材么 who gives a shit about the fucking lumber
你都是对的 对不起 Well, you're right, I'm sorry,
给我把话套出来 Just grabbed the information.
好的 继续 Alright come on, go ahead
他告诉我他杀了佛拿德兹 Hey, look, the guy told me he killed Fernandez
我啥都不知道 闭嘴 What I know? Shut up -
佛拿德兹死了 Jesus Fernandez is dead.
闭嘴 Now, shut up
他撒谎了 He lied, so...
跟正常的微波炉一样操作吧 我怎么知道 Works like a regular microwave, or what? Fuck do I know?
我们不是在做晚餐 开启吧 We're not making a fucking Hungry Man dinner here, just turn it on!
看看 Here we go
告诉我谁卖了我们的可卡因 O.K. I want to know who sold you our coke?
别再告诉我谁死了 And don't tell me somebody who's dead, this time
我说 I said...
谁 Who
卖给 Sold
你 You
我们的可卡因 Our...coke?
妈的 Shit
过了一段时间 Some time later...
太酷了 This is awesome
我看起来像金刚狼 I look like freakin' Wolverine.
你们学校有金属探测器吗 They still have that metal detector at your school?
是的 我会被毁灭的 Yeah, It's gonna have a meltdown!
戴夫 我想问你点事情 Dave, I need to ask you something.
好 OK
警察的报告中 The police report...
他们发现你时是全裸的 你不记得发生什么了 They found you naked. You said you didn't remember why.
那俩劫匪 他们没怎么你吧 The muggers... they didn't...?
什么 What?
没有 No
天啊, 不是的 Jesus! No!
不是那样的 I wasn't even...
在救护车上他们把衣服扔了 In the ambulance, they threw my clothes away!
- 因为沾满了血迹 - 这样啊 - Cause of the blood. - Right
总有一天我会东山再起 See my no time at all as far as back on my feet
戴夫 他咋了 Dave, What?
除了精神不太好 Apart from the messed up nerve ending.
医生把我治疗得很好 The doctors had managed to fix me up pretty good.
你感觉到什么了吗 Did you feel that?
没有 No
你看起来像杰森·波恩 You're like fucking Jason Bourne or something! That owns!
那这样呢 别这样 马蒂 How about that? No. Marty,
让我清静一会 give it a fuckin' rest, man.
我才回来半天 I've only been back, like, half a day
而且你在医院已经嘲笑过我 and already you're making fun of me at the hospital.
他说得对 对不起 He's right I'm sorry
我有点幼稚 truly childish
你好 Hey
戴夫 你好 Dave Hey
噢 你好 Oh, hey
你怎么样了 How are you?
你看起来好多了 You look better
我没事了 I'm OK
比之前好多了 Yeah, much better
对了 你很喜欢漫画 是吧 Hey, you're into comic books, aren't you?
那个... 我和埃里卡放学后 Well... me and Erika sometimes hang out after school
常去这家店玩 at this really great store,
就"原子动漫" 他们那做的拿铁最好了 Atomic Comics. They make the best like Crack - a - back - a - latte.
是吗 Yeah...?
我可以买杯给你尝尝 要是你愿意的话 Well... I could buy you one... sometime if you want?
你可以来找我说说话 If you, like, need someone to talk to?
好 谢谢你 sure, thank you
那好 亲爱的 我们待会见 Ok. Sweet. Well I'll see you later
- 老兄 你看见没 - 看见了啊 - Man, did you just see that? - Yeah
凯蒂·狄克斯莫刚说要买咖啡给我 Katie Deauxma just offered to buy me coffee
不过我觉得这事肯定没表面那么简单 Yeah..I really don't think that's the way it looks like
你说什么呢 What are you talking about?
重点是凯蒂·狄克斯莫就是个烂好人 The point is, Katie Deauxma is all about the lame ducks.
那又关我什么事 What's that got to do with me?
我一直在想要怎么告诉你这事 I've been trying to figure out how to tell you this
最近流言满天飞 没错 There's a rumor going around right
说你是... 什么 that you... what?
同志 ...are gay.
同志 Gay!
这到底是什么鬼八卦啊 What kind of rumor is that?
你也知道 被打劫 Well you know, getting mugged...
你们也被打劫过的 You guys have been mugged!
是没错 但你也知道 Yeah, I know...but...you know..
我们可没有被打得倒地不起还被人家扒光衣服 we didn't get beat up and have all our clothes taken off.
事情不是这样的 是那些医护人员脱了我的衣服 That's not even true! The medics threw my clothes away!
别担心了 那些谣言没什么的 Don't worry about it. Rumors don't mean shit.
我们知道事情真相 We know the truth
是吗 没错 Right? Yes
谁知道呢 搞不好你还能把她搞定 Yeah. And who knows, it might even get you laid.
前提是她不认为他是个基佬 托德 Not if she thinks he's gay, Todd
你个白痴 you fuckin' retard!
我谨谢不敏 马蒂 你简直就是在帮倒忙 Thanks a lot, Marty. You aint fucking helping me -
我只不过是实话实说罢了 I'm just being honest
我试着做回过去的自己 I was getting back to my old self
当然 我本应该要放弃的 I should have quit, of course.
但又不能就这样重新出发 But you can't just re - program yourself
想要什么 你是谁 你的人生目标 what you want, who you are... your purpose in life.
哦 不 我只是在这站着而已 oh no...I'm just stand around here
就是这样 It is what it is.
看到我的厉害没 You didn't see that did ya?
你最好赶紧给我滚蛋 I think it's best that you just walk away
也许你不该这么做 Well maybe you shouldn't do that.
什么 What? Huh?
你还敢瞪我 You looking at me?
我就长这样 Well this is my faces
我? Me?
我的装备都已修好 My hardware was fixed now.
我又回来了 现在是"海扁王"2.0版 I was back and running Kick - ass version 2.0
"你们谁见过乱咬人先生" HAVE YOU SEEN MR.BITEY?
对不起 请问你见过这只猫吗 Excuse me, did you see this cat?
没有啊, 谢谢 No Thank you
女士, 打扰一下 你见过这只猫没有 Excuse me, Madam, Have you seen this cat?
对不起 你有见过这只猫吗 I'm sorry, did you see this cat?
太好了 Great
快过来 小猫咪 Here, Kitty
到这来 乱咬人先生 here Mr. Bitey
快过来 不 不 Come on, no, no
别 别 乱咬人先生 快过来 No, no, Mr. Bitey Come on
过来 我带你回家 Here, I get you home
快点 Come on
该死 乱咬人先生 Fuck you Mr. Bitey!
哦 上帝 老兄 对不起 Oh God...I'm so sorry, man
你个该死的绿鬼 You fucking Green...!
谢啦 怪胎 Thank freak...
喂 快点滚开 Hey, leave it alone
你才给我滚 Fuck off man
管好你自己 do your business
我猜也是 Guess it is
喂 快打911 Hey, Call 911
外面有个穿得像超级英雄的家伙 There's a dude dressed like a superhero out there
在打群架 fighting a bunch of guys
帅爆了! It's Fucking awesome!
放开他 Leave him alone
伙计 放弃吧 Give it up man
现在走还来得及 Just walk away
不 我永不放弃 No, never
伙计 你脑子进水啦 What the fuck is wrong with you, man?
为了这种垃圾 你宁愿死吗 You'd rather die for some piece of shit?
这点道理你都不懂? That you don't even fucking know?
你们仨垃圾以多欺少 You're just three asholes laying into one guy
大家都有目共睹 while everyone else watches
你不是想知道我为什么要这么做吗 And you wanna know what's wrong with me?
没错 我宁愿死 Yeah, I'd rather die.
我跟你拼了 You bring it on!
你这小鬼脑子肯定有毛病 You're fucking crazy kid
你说什么 What?
谢谢你 Thank you!
你刚才太帅了 That fucking rocks!
你到底是谁 Who are you?
我是"海扁王" I'm Kick Ass
兄弟 你看过这个没 Dude you gotta check this shit out.
这是什么 what is it?
接下来一小时你将看到 And coming up after the hour:
一个奇装打扮的义务警察 a costumed vigilante
成为最近网络上的热议话题 has become the latest Internet phenomenon
哈密尔顿公园的居民 after a Hamilton Park resident
拍摄下了这人插手 filmed the man's remarkable intervention
上周一宗帮派争斗的过程... in a gang - related attack last week...
太牛逼了 Pretty awesome
没错 Fuck Yeah.
欢迎收看放眼纽约的特别节目 Welcome to this special edition of Eye on New York
为了帮你的朋友 你会做到什么程度 How far would you go to help your fellow man?
这个奇装异服的怪人 This cowel covered individual
在这周成为了各大新闻的头条 has been all over the news this week
而他插手街头帮派争斗的视频 After this video of his intervention of street gang violence
也成为网上点击率最高的 became the most watched web on the Internet
我的空间里有38条留言 On My Space, 38 press
空间主人就是"海扁王" Kick - Ass is my space.
点击量已有1万6千了 16,000 and counting
事情变得越来越不受控制 This thing was going crazy
我爱死这一切了 And I was loving it
最后 大家都想知道这个神秘人的庐山真面目 Finally, we want to know who is this man
有没有人知道 Does anyone have any idea
这个穿着紧身衣的十字军战士到底是谁 who this wet suit Crusader is?
他是某个人的儿子 He must be someone's son...
或是兄弟 或是邻居 Someone's brother... Someone's next door neighbor...
搞嘛啊, 这到底是怎么回事 Holy shit. What happened?
怎么了 what happened?
都是这家伙的功劳 This guy happened
大家伙 快看 This right there from her everybody
现在大家最喜欢的超级英雄是"海扁王" 对吧 Everbody's favorite superhero right now is Kick - Ass, right?
"海扁王" Kick - Ass!
我喜欢"海扁王" I like Kick - Ass
你知道吗 大家都喜欢"海扁王" You know what? Everyone likes Kick - Ass
那些观众对他可真是印象深刻 He sure does give plenty of action for the guests
他就只有被人海扁的本事 Good at gettting his Ass - Kicked.
他应该叫他自己"被扁王" He should call himself Ass - Kick, instead
这又没什么意思 That doesn't even make any sense
在我看来 这家伙到后来肯定小命不保 That guy's gonna end up dead that's what I think
你说真的 这家伙挺有一套的 Are you serious? The guy owns.
要是我有什么问题要解决的话 还真想去通知他 I'd probably notify him about it if a problem needed fixing
你开玩笑吧 我手下有上百个能人 What you kidding me? I have 100 guys can fix a problem.
而你要去找个穿连裤袜的人帮忙? You gotta some guy in some panty - hose?
我可不想成为你事业的绊脚石 Well, I wouldn't wanna get in the way of your business...
而且那也没有我的容身之处 where I'm not wanted
拜托 我知道你们都把我当成了"海扁王" Please, I know you are mistaking me for Kick - Ass,
可我不是 but I am not Kick - Ass
我马上就回来 I'm backed up right now
你的信息已发送 your message has been sent
嘿 戴夫 要一起去喝杯咖啡吗? 凯蒂 Hey Dave How about that coffee? Katie X
你其实都不看漫画的吧 You don't actually read comics?
对 我不久前才开始看 现在看得也颇有心得了 Yeah, I just started. It got right to my system.
里面全是图画还都标好顺序 It's got full graphs and shows you leads,
差不多就是类似的东西吧 that kind of thing
其实我不是很喜欢波克式的超级英雄 I'm not really into Polk superheroes or not
那我猜你也不会去排队 So...guess you're not gonna be lining up
买 "海扁王"的新漫画 for that new Kick - Ass comic, then.
我也是这么想的 I guess not
我其实蛮想给他的网站寄封电邮 You know what, I was seriously thinking of e - mailing his site?
现在还挺需要像他那样的人来帮我 I mean I could really use some help from a guy like that right now.
帮忙? 真的? 要帮什么? Help? Really? What with?
你知道我去针头交换处做志愿者的事吗 You know I volunteer at the needle exchange?
不知道 No, I did't
那有个叫拉瑟尔的人 there was this one guy, Rasul?
对他我真的感到万分抱歉 And I just felt so sorry for him and...
他的事我知道的越多 我就越... more I found out about his up bringing and stuff I just...
现在感觉怪怪的 Wow, that's weird
通常都是我扮演心理专家的角色 I'm usually the one playing therapist
我能做个告解吗 Can I make a confession?
从小时候开始 Ever since I was little
我就一直想要一个朋友 I always wanted a friend...
像你这样的朋友 ...like...you.
我这么说没事吧 Is it okay to say that?
我不是歧视害怕同性恋 I mean it's not homophobic, is it?
我也不觉得你会跟以前有所不同 I mean I don't think you're all the same or anything
当然不会 没事 Of course not. No.
谢谢你 Thank you
我不知道自己是不是 I don't know if I was everything
凯蒂心目中的"好姐妹" Katie had always dreamed her gay b.f.f. would be.
不过我会尽力的 But I tried my best.
但最重要的是 我叫她给"海扁王"寄了封电邮 But, more importantly, I talked her into e - mailing Kick - Ass.
长话短说 Long story short,
她的前任"好姐妹" this particular lame duck of hers
突然性情大变 turned out to be more of a lame cobra.
她并不想要回给他的钱 She didn't want the money back
或是要他为他的无礼而道歉 that she'd given him, or an apology for the black eye he'd given her.
只要他明白他们什么关系也没有 She just wanted him to get that they were through,
别再去烦她就行 and leave her alone.
那我们就来帮她实现梦想吧 let's be real
再也没有别的要求能令我如此快乐了 no other request could've given me more pleasure.
你以为你自己是谁 绿色安全套吗 Who the fuck you're supposed to be? The Greeen Condom?
小鬼 离万圣节还有好几个月呢 You know it ain't Halloween for another few months, kid.
我来这是要见拉瑟尔 I'm here to see Rasul
你到底是谁 Who the fuck are you?
我是凯蒂的一个朋友 I am a friend of Katie's
现在的小孩真是太不讲究仪表了 Boys Do not pay attention to their appearance these days...
那么 你们哪个是拉瑟尔 So Uhh...which one of you guys is Rasul?
我就是拉瑟尔 你就不能跟我的大咪咪说吗 I am Rasul. Can't you tell by my big titty's?
这什么情况 不给糖就捣蛋还是别的什么 What is this? Trick or treat or somethin'?
该死 fuck
我完了 And now I am dead
我有个口信要给拉瑟尔 I have a message for Rasul
是关于凯蒂·狄克斯莫的 About Katie Deauxma
凯蒂? Katie?
哦 你就是拉瑟尔吧 Oh you're Rasul?
那好 Ok
从现在开始你离凯蒂远点 You've gotta stay away from Katie now.
一切都结束了 所以要是你... It's over. So if you just...
不再去纠缠她 leave her alone.
那么大家就会相安无事 everything will be fine
什么? What?
你个小鬼 Yo Kid...
你到底是谁 Who the hell are you?
这是怎么一回事 What is this?
我是"海扁王" 要找就来找我 I'm Kick - Ass. Look me up.
以下是我给你的忠告 And this is me giving you a message:
别再去纠缠凯蒂了 leave Katie alone
不然会怎样 Or what?
否则的话 Or
我会回来打断你的狗腿 I'll come back and break your fucking legs.
我现在就站在这 小鬼 I'm right here now, baby
要打就来啊 what's up...
抓住他 hold him
妈呀 Fuck
你可以滚去见阎罗王了 You're so fuckin' dead
好你个贱人 Ok, you cunt
把你们的看家本领给姑奶奶都使出来 Let see what you can do now.
一 二 三 四 Eany...Meany...Miney...Mo
这啥情况 what's that?
嘿 我也有一把诶 Hey, I have one of those
来吧 Come on
你想跟我玩玩 So you wanna play
里面在搞什么 what the fuck
你这基佬手上拿的不过是把电击枪 Aww dude, that is one fuckin' gay fuckin' taser.
别紧张 我们是一路人 Relax. We're on the same team.
嘿 快起来 Hey get Up
"风行萝莉" 我们要把背朝向哪 Now, Hit Girl, we always keep our backs where?
墙壁 老爸 我知道的 To the wall, Daddy I know
我保证下次不会再犯了 Um...it won't happen again
顺便说下 准头不错 Nice shot by the way
多谢夸奖 Thank you
当心点 Be careful
嘿 穿绿衣服的笨蛋 不能走前门 Hey, Green asshole. Can't use the front door
等等 什么事? Wait, wait, wait What?
你是谁 Who are you?
我? Me?
我是"风行萝莉" I'm "Hit Girl"
那是"超级老爹" and that's " Big Daddy"
快点啊 Come on
快啊 Come on!
"风行萝莉"和"超级老爹" "Hit Girl" and "Big Daddy"
他们才是有真本事的 They were real deal
而我 Me
只不过是个穿着紧身衣的呆头鹅 I was just a stupid dick in a wetsuit
这是什么 你给我看的什么鬼东西 What is this, What am I lookin' at here?
这是萨尔的手机 他们在他手上发现的 It was Sal's phone. They found it in his hand
想必是他们在他死之前拿走的 They must have taken that right before he died
我知道这挺狗血的 但是照片里的那个家伙 I know this sounds fucked up, Franky...but that guy in the picture...
我想就是电视里播的那个超级英雄 I think it's that superhero nut job from the TV.
谁? Who?
"海扁王"? Kick - Ass?
单枪匹马? One guy?
慢着 你说光那家伙一人 Hold on. You telling me one guy
就在今晚杀了我8个人? killed 8 of my men tonight?
在萨尔地盘上杀了8个 还有4个死在拉瑟尔那 Eight at Sal's place...4 at that kid, Rasul's
那我们在街上岂不是一个人都没有了 We have no mercenaries on the streets at all
没错 Right
单枪匹马一个人 One Guy
我认为是的 I think
如果你的猜测没错 Nah if you're right,
那我们遇到了纽约最强的一批对手 we're gonna look like the biggest bunch of pussies in New York
你准备让我怎么做 What do you want me to do?
我要痛扁"海扁王"一顿 现在就去办 I want Kick - Ass' fuckin' head on a stick. And I want it now.
我啥都没说 我发誓 I didn't say anything, to anyone, I swear!
反应不错 屁股挨揍的家伙 Good move. Ass, Kick
我们就一直这么干吧 Let's keep it that way
你知道这是什么吗 You know what this is?
是你电击枪射出的 All the cartridge crap that comes outta
所有破弹夹 your gay little taser when you fire it.
你知不知道警察只要发现这个 Do you know the police could've traced it right back to you
就很容易会查到你这来? if they'd found it?
你运气好 我帮你都捡起来了 Lucky for you, I picked it up
谢谢 Thank you
我们只是以防万一 Let's call it insurance
这也方便得到你的承诺 Makes it easier for me to take your word
我们很喜欢你 但却不相信你 See, we like you. But we don't trust you
别钻牛角尖 我们谁也不相信 Don't take it personal though. We don't trust anybody
我反追踪了你的IP地址 I re - routed your IP address.
要找到你简直是易如反掌 Finding you was way too easy
真该死 Aw Shit. Shit
我没想到 我的老天 我... I hadn't thought My God, I...
我欠你个人情 I owe you
知道吗 我正在考虑把我的网页关闭掉 You know what? I'm thinking of shutting my site down anyway,
我不玩了 这太疯狂了 quitting. This is... fucking insane
我脑袋肯定是短路了 I'm in way over my head
真遗憾 你很有潜力的 It's a shame. You have potential
这是你的决定 孩子 Your call, son.
只要你需要 我们随时恭候大驾 But, y'know, we're around if you need us
那我要怎么联系你们 How do I get hold of you?
联系市长办公室就行 Just contact the mayor's office.
他有照在天上的特殊信号 He has a special signal he shines in the sky?
形状像是只大公鸡 It's in the shape of a giant cock
当你需要我们的时候 就在你的网页上写 You need us, put on your web site
正在度假中 that you're on vacation
我们就会来找你 We'll find you
风行萝莉 回总部 Hit Girl, back to headquarters
做个好梦 Sweet dreams
我要你去摆平"海扁王" I need you to get rid of Kick - Ass
出什么事了 What's up?
出什么事? What's up?
"海扁王"杀了我的人 吉甘特 事实就是这样 Kick - Ass is killing my men, Gigante, that's what's up
我深表遗憾 My condolences
但是恐怕我这次帮不了你 But I'm afraid I can't help you out on this one
他不在我的管辖范围之内 He's movin' outside my jurisdiction
不在你的辖区? Outside your jurisdiction?
你个死警察 他正在犯法 You're a fucking cop and he's breaking the law!
这么明目张胆 That's so inside your jurisdiction
你还说不在你管辖范围之内 it's ball - deep in your jurisdiction's ass!
上头付工资让我将坏人绳之以法 The boss pays me to nail the bad guys.
但你不是我的衣食父母 You pay me not to
凡事都有灰色地带 Everything else is in the grey area
是这样没错 维克 就按我说的办 Yeah, Fuck you very much, Vic. Just do it, okay?
真是令人难以置信 Un - fuckin'believable
科迪人呢 where is Cody?
他迟到了 He's late
谢谢你 科迪 非常感谢你的配合 Thank you, Cody. We appreciate your cooperation
那现在让我出去吧 Let me out now?
我已经把名字和地址都告诉给你了 I gave you all them names and address
我保证不跟别人说一个字 Hey, I won't say nothing to nobody.
你跟你那小贱人也可以滚回老家去了 You and you're crazy bitch friend can go back to where ever you once
嘿 拜托 你现在做的事太不上道了 Hey come on now...that's a very bad thing you're doing now..
真是令人讨厌的家伙 Really nasty individuals...
让我走 嘿 别这么做 Let me go, Hey... Do not do this
求你了 Come on!
拜托 停 please..hey..stop!
住手 求你了 stop, please!
洗得可真干净 What a douche
你是自己晒黑的吧 You've done a self tan before, right?
对 我常晒太阳 Yeah, I do it all the time
谋杀 超级英雄闯进我的卧室 Murder. Superheroes breaking into my bedroom
我这一生就是在这些梦里不能自拔 My life was turning into some fucked up dream I couldn't wake up from
就算是好的也是很离奇的 Even with the good parts, were totally surreal
哦 我看了你给我的蜘蛛侠 Oh hey, I read those old Ditko Spider - Mans you gave me?
真的挺好看的 They're actually pretty good
确实是的 Yeah, they are
拉瑟尔也有一个礼拜没来烦我了 And it's been a whole week since I've heard from Rasul
那真是太好了 That's great
很久以前有两个超级警察 Once upon a time, there were two super cops
他们叫老爹和马卡斯 called Daddy and Marcus...
他们的特长就是逮捕坏人 who were very good at getting bad guys
弗兰克·阿米克则是坏人中的败类 Frank Damico was the baddest guy of them all
为了除掉老爹他想出了一条毒计 and he came up with a plan to get rid of Daddy
"给我搜" Search this place!
他诬告老爹是毒贩子 Being framed as drug dealer
这也是发生在老爹身上最糟糕的事 was the worst possible thing that could have happened to Daddy
监狱并不是他的栖身之所 Prison was not his natural habitat
他非常的沮丧 He was very upset
英雄警察锒铛入狱 HERO COP JAILED
而在老爹入狱期间 他怀孕的妻子则孤身一人 With Daddy in prison His pregnant wife was all alone
无法承受心理压力 And could not cope
但总有拨开云雾见青天的时候 But all clouds have a silver lining
在她死之后 And out of her death..
明迪出生了 Mindy was born
马卡斯成为了孩子的监护人 Marcus became the child's guardian
老爹也开始重新规划他的人生 And Daddy started a plan of his very own
五年后 他出狱了 Five years later he left prison
而且他也做好了准备 And he was ready
现在明迪也该做好准备了 Now it's time for Mindy to get ready too
你是怎么找到我的 马卡斯 How'd you find me Marcus?
我们俩中还有一个是警察呢 记得吗 One of us is still a cop, remember?
你给明迪洗脑了? Now you brain - washed Mindy?
你所说的洗脑在我看来只不过是场游戏 You say brain - washed I say made it into a game
你说这是什么? 游戏? 达蒙 What you call this? Playing, Damon?
义务警察私自执法 四处屠杀 收手吧 搭档 Vigilante justice. Mass murder. C'mon, partner
她在哪 So where is she?
她现在很安全 我能见见她吗 She's safe Can I see her?
我很想她 I miss her
我很想你们俩 I miss you both
多谢你的关心 I appreciate your concern
但是你现在得走了 But you need to go now
有一点我要先警告你 I should warn you that asshole,
吉甘特正在找"海扁王" Gigante, is looking for Kick - Ass.
他跟你有关系吗 达蒙 He got something to do with you Damon?
你准备建个什么超级英雄俱乐部吗 You started some kinda fucked - up superhero club?
我没听说过这人 Never heard of him
当心点 好吗 Ok, well heads up, alright?
你再这样执迷不悟下去 You keep carrying on like you've been carrying on
吉甘特找上门来那是迟早的事 and it's only a matter of time before Gigante's looking for you
在你放弃机会之后 He's been on D'Amico's payroll
他一直在阿米克的贿赂名单上 ever since you passed up the opportunity,
你知道我不会就这么收手的 You know I'm not gonna stop
除非阿米克和他的整个组织都瓦解 Not 'til D'Amico and his whole damn operation are burnt to ashes
湮没了 And buried
即使这样她也不可能活过来了 达蒙 It ain't gonna bring her back, Damon
这不是明迪该有的生活 This is not the life for Mindy
你欠那个孩子一个童年 You owe that kid a childhood
我告诉你是谁毁了她的童年 I'll tell you who owes her a childhood:
是弗兰克·阿米克 Frank D'Amico
该死 Holy shit
真不敢相信 I don't fuckin' believe it
跟上 在拐角那 Follow him. Around the corner
别开得太快 Not too fast
他还跟别人击掌 He's doing the high fives
我让你击鬼个掌 I'll give 'em a motherfuckin' high five
击掌 狗屎 High five and bullshit
跟上 跟上 Keep going, keep going
别跟得太紧 Not too close
他要进小巷子里去了 He's going into the alley
他要进小巷子里去了 He's going to the alley
好 等会我让你停你就停 Okay, when I tell you stop the car
准备好了没 Ready?
嘿 "海扁王" Hey Kick - Ass
你好吗 How you doing?
敢杀我的人 啊? Kill my men, huh?!
抢我的可卡因? Take my fucking coke?!
你在干什么 What are you doing?
快走 快 Let us go, come on
快点 弗兰克 打也打够了 快 Come on, Frank, he had enough, Come on
你看什么看 啊? What the fuck are you looking at? Huh?
快 快走 Come on, let's go Come on
他还这么年轻 He was so young
谁愿意就这么死了 Who would get to die that way?
我真的不敢相信他就这么死了 I just can't believe he's dead that's all
我明白 Oh, I know
听好了 凯蒂 Listen Katie
像拉瑟尔那样的人 他们的生活本来就是一团乱 guys like Rasul... They get mixed up in stuff, and...
我知道 但万一那是我的错呢 I know, but what if it was my fault?
万一是"海扁王"干的呢 What if Kick - Ass did it?
我觉得应该打电话报警什么的 I mean I feel like should call cops or something
你疯了吧 you're talking crazy!
不可能的 他搞不好都没有看到你的邮件 there's no way! He probably didn't even read your e - mail yet
- 是吗? - 没什么好担心的 - Yeah? - There's nothing to worry about
你在这我真高兴 I'm so glad you're here
我看起来糟透了 I look like such a mess
你很好 You look Okay
我就在这 I'm here
我没事了 Yeah I'm Okay
希望我这么说不会冒犯到你 I hope it's Okay to say this, but
但你是个基佬 这真是遗憾 It so sucks that you're gay
海扁王扮演者被害 KICK - ASS Impersonator Killed
我真不敢相信这个 I don't fuckin' believe this
这群小鬼有什么不好玩的 啊? What kind of children's fuckin' entertainer is that? Huh?
那些小鬼头开个蜘蛛侠派对不行啊 What kind of kid has a Spider - Man party sure.
非得开什么破"海扁王"派对 But a fuckin' Kick - Ass Party?
楼下的现在卖什么纸盘和餐巾纸 What are they're selling paper plates and napkins down at the store, now?
弗兰克 你吓到我了 Frank, You're scarin' me
你失控了 You're losin' it.
你什么时候开始又想再惹一身腥? Since when did you start getting your hands dirty again, huh?
还在光天化日之下 And in public
就在我叫你摆平"海扁王"的时候 Since when I asked you Fucks to deliver me Kick - Ass
你还不听我的 and you don't deliver that's when
让我喘口气行不行 都已经一个礼拜了 Hey give me a break it's been a week
我们给他写电邮 找了一堆手下惹事当诱饵 We e - mailed him. We got half the crew doing petty crimes as bait
我们都在卖力干活呢 We're bustin' our asses here.
你到底在干什么 What hell are you doing?
你也嗨高了? You back on the Powder now, as well?
妈咪 我想办海扁王派对 傻逼蠢货 Mommy, I want Kick - Ass party. Dumb little fuck.
我知道一个办法可以帮你抓住他 I know a way you could get him
该死 克里斯 Aww shit. Chris
你在那多久了 How long you been there?
你在那干什么 还不快点出去 What the hell you doin'? Get the hell out!
你到底想不想听 You wanna hear it or not?
听什么 Hear what?
听着 你是一个超级英雄 Okay, look, you're a superhero
但你也是孤独的 不能相信任何人 and you're lonely but you can't trust
因为他们都有可能会暴露你的真实身份 anyone because either they'll expose your secret identity...
漫画书 那些小鬼头一天到晚看的东西 Comic books, this kids reads, all fucking day long
重点是 有这么一个办法 Point is, there's only one way
可以让超级英雄轻易的相信陌生人 a superhero would trust a stranger and...
我可以是那个陌生人 你给我制造一个机会就好 I could be that stranger. You just gotta give me a chance
我知道我能做到的 只需要一点点东西而已 I know I can do it. I just need a few things
比如说 Like what?
我要这些东西 I need these things
什么 你开什么国际玩笑 What, you fucking kidding me?
这到底是什么 What the hell is this?
这就是我所需要的一切 It's everything I need
你只要随便欺负个人 像是路易或者别的谁 And you might have to screw somebody over Like Louie or somebody
路易? 嘿 克里斯 Louie?! Oh whoa, hey, Chris
其他人也行 不是非得路易 Or somebody it doesn't have to be Louie
托尼 Tony
托尼? Tony?
- 我恨托尼 - 那个死托尼就是个废柴 - I hate Tony - Hey fuck Tony he's a scum bag
老爸 我发誓 这么做肯定能成 I swear dad If you let me do this it's gonna work
托尼 Tony
托尼·罗米塔 美国最大犯罪集团的主脑之一 Tony Romita, one of America's most wanted crime king - pins
今天在皇后区被捕 was arrested in Queens today
有人报警自称是超级英雄... After a 911 cal from someone claiming to be a superhero...
跟凯蒂怎么样了 So how are things going with Katie?
还不错 在她家过夜 Oh, just peachy. Had a sleep over
整晚都在看"丑女贝蒂" and spent the whole night watching the entire Ugly Betty box set
还修趾甲 and did pedicures.
告诉你 等得越久就越难办 I'm telling you, though the longer you wait, the worse it's gonna get.
我知道 I know.
我本来要告诉她 她看起来那么的开心 I was gonna tell her. She just seems so...happy.
我不知道什么时候才合适 I don't know whens the right time.
现在你的机会来了 Well, now's your chance.
她很开心 你们好 She seems happy Hey guys
嗨 Hi
你看电视了吗 新的超级英雄 多酷啊 Oh, did you watch the TV? The new superhero guy? How cool was that?
什么 看啊 What? Oooh look.
大点声吧 Can you turm it up please?
看这个 Check this out.
毫不迟疑 But it seems that far from being put - off,
这个自称为"红旋风"的人 this individual, who calls himself Red Mist,
决定要将打击犯罪的行动提升到新的高度 has decided to take crime fighting to a new level,
正如他昨晚的壮举所证明的 as his actions last night proved.
红旋风 你怎么看 Red Mist, how do you see it?
我猜人们已经受够担惊受怕的日子了 Well, I guess folks have just had enough of living in fear, you know,
而且 海扁王已经证明 and uh...Kick - Ass really proved that
一人之力也可以做出改变 one individual can make a difference.
所以 如果有人需要帮助 So, If anyone out there needs help,
我会马上赶到打击犯罪 I'm gonna be fighting crime twentyfive/eight.
只要鼠柡一点 RedMist.org And I'm just one click away. RedMist.org.
现在可以关上了吗 Can you turn that off now?
他有什么特别的 What's so special about that guy?
貌似他抓了个毒贩 头号通缉犯 He caught, like, a drug dealer Some most - wanted guy
他看到他们拿出无数的毒品 He saw 'em bringing out, like, Na ton of stuff,
真酷 That's Pretty cool.
是的 造型也比海扁王酷 Yeah. way better costume than Kickass, too.
他穿斗蓬 是的 He's gotta cape Yeah
斗蓬最棒了 是的 Capes rock Yeah
我感觉都摸到那斗蓬了 很好看 I'm kinda feelin' the cape. Looks good.
什么 比海扁王还棒? What, better than Kick - Ass?
我是说 他们都很性感 I mean they're both kinda hot
我只是觉得"红旋风"身材更好 I just think that Red Mist has a better body.
你怎么想 戴夫 Don't you think, Dave?
是啊, 戴夫你怎么想 Yeah Dave what do you think?
你不就喜欢这样的家伙吗 全身皮装? Is that the kind of guy you'd go for? With all that leather?
不 我不喜欢 No, not me.
他不是我喜欢的类型 No, he's not really my type
(红旋风: 约个时间地点 我们聚聚)
海扁王 Kick Ass
红旋风 Red Mist
妈的 Oh shit
我的娘啊, 真疼 Fuck me, that kinda hurt.
还好吗 You OK?
是的 我没事 Yeah, no I'm cool
真不敢相信你在这儿 你是我的英雄 I can't believe you're here, man. like you're my hero.
你...启发了我 没有海扁王就没有红旋风 You...inspired me. No Kick - Ass, no Red Mist.
我是说真的 Seriously.
哇 Wow.
真的吗 Really?
我直说了 如果你... Straight up. And listen if you.. I dunno know...
如果你愿意让我当你的伙伴或什么的 if you wanted me to be your sidekick or something like that...
你想当...我的伙伴? You wanna be...my sidekick?
是的 Yeah, man
我们合力天下无敌 你想打击犯罪吗 you and me together, we would own. You wanna go fight some crime?
你是说现在吗 Oh...I mean like right now?
是的 快点 我有东西给你看 Yeah man, come on, I got something I wanna show you
我是想...对你坦白 Uh.. I mean like...to be honest with you,
我之前从没在工作日的半夜打击过犯罪 I never fight crime between, like nine and two on weekdays,
所以务必得快点回来 so I really need to get back pretty soon.
真拉风 Sweet!
是你的吗 This yours?
见过旋风快车 Meet the Mistmobile.
导航系统连接了我的iPhone Set - nav. Got my iPhone
所以我开车兜风时能浏览网页发现紧急情况 so I can check the website for emergencies while I'm driving around.
动起来 Movin' up.
心情灯光 Mood lighting right there
后视摄像头 没什么大不了的 Rear view cameras, no big deal.
看这个 你他妈一定会喜欢的 Check this. You're gonna fuckin' love this.
旋风 The Mist.
嘿 是的 Hey! Yep.
我们是超级英雄 大家的宠儿 That's right. You wish you could be us. They love us.
抽吗 Smoke?
不 Nuh - uh.
巡逻时来点"货"能轻松点 你知道的 Yeah, well "Weed" takes the edge off things when I'm patrol..ya know.
冲到人群中有点吓人 你不觉得吗 Runnin' up against a crowd can get kinda scary, don't you thimk?
怎么了 Something wrong?
你跟我想的不一样 You're so not how I expected
我收到了一个小妞的邮件 Oh, I got e - mail from this chick,
她说她下班回家有人跟踪她 she said this guy's been following her home from work.
我有她的地址 你想探探吗 I've got her address and stuff. You wanna check it out?
当然 为什么不 Sure, why not?
酷 Cool
这小妞一丝不挂 是吧 So this chick was totally naked, right?
我让她坐我腿上 So I tell her to sit in my lap
把脑子里想到的第一件事说出来 and talk about the first thing that comes up.
守住前门 他在路上了 Yep. Let's get the front he's on his way.
很好 Very good.
我到之前别杀他 Don't kill him 'til I get there.
好的 Right
看那么多漫画书还是有点用的 是吧 Looks like reading all them comics paid off, huh?
你儿子很棒 弗兰克 Your boy did good, Frankie.
虎父无犬子 He's his father's son.
忘给你了 I forget
怎么回事 What...the...fuck?
妈的 shit
你要干什么 Hey! What are you doing?
里面有人 There are people in there!
我们是不是应该报警... Shouldn't we just call the Fire...
妈的 Shit!
- 我操 - 红旋风 - Oh shit. - Red Mist!
红旋风 你能听到吗 Red Mist...can you hear me?!
红旋风 Red Mist!
你他妈的在哪啊 Where the fuck are you?
我们得逃出去 We've gotta get the hell out of here!
快给我跑 Just move your fucking ass!
妈的 Shit!
你看到那些尸体了吗 Did you see those bodies?
是的 Yeah, man.
为什么要救这只熊 Why'd you save the teddy...?
什么 What?
我不知道 伙计 快走 I don't know, man. Come on.
进来 come
你到底在干什么 弗兰克 What the hell are you doin' Frank?
你知道我不能来这 如果有人看到... You know I can't be here. What if somebody saw...
海扁王那个小杂种 That little motherfucker, Kick - Ass,
烧了我的仓库还杀了我的人 吉甘特 burned down my warehouse and killed my men, Gigante.
等等 慢点 海扁王? Whoa...wait,wait, slow down. Kick - Ass?
- 你确定? - 你得帮我 维克 - You sure? - You gotta help me, Vic
我儿子也在里面 还没找到他 My son was there and he's still missing
他们都死了 仓库里所有的人都死了 They're all dead! Everbody in the warehouse is dead!
把枪放下 维克 他是克里斯 Put the gun down, Vic, it's Chris!
克里斯是红旋风? Chris is Red Mist?!
你该担心的不是红旋风 而是海扁王 It's not Red Mist you gotta worry about, it's Kickass!
不不不 海扁王就是一个怪客而已 No, no, no, it's not. Kick - ass is some kinda geek, Dad.
你不必担心他 You don't have to worry about him
来看看这个 You need to watch this!
咋了 这是干什么的 Why? What does it do?
你他妈是在玩我 You're fucking kidding me
怎么 他妈的 给我坐下 What? Goddamit, just sit down
你在干什么 那是什么玩意 What are you doing? What the hell is that thing?
我小时候 你买这个监视保姆的 You bought this to spy on the nanny when I was a kid,
还记得吗 don't you remember?
怎么 你放到仓库了? Why? You put it in the warehouse?
是的 我觉得 Yeah. I thought it'd be cool
把海扁王的素颜照放到网上很酷 是吧 to put the unmasking of Kick - Ass on the Internet, okay?
看看 Watch.
我让她坐我腿上 So I tell her to sit in my lap
把脑子里想到的第一件事说出来 and talk about the first thing that comes up.
"守住前门 他在路上了" "Let's get the front he's on his way"
他到底是谁 Who the hell is this guy?
我不知道 老爸 I don't know, Dad
但是海扁王说我们不是镇上唯一的超级英雄 But, Kick - Ass told me we're not the only super heroes in town.
也许他知道是谁 Maybe he knows who this guy is.
我要把这儿锁起来 I want this place locked down.
别让人进来 也别让人出去 Nobody comes in, nobody goes out
直到有人找到这个混蛋 Not until somebody finds this cocksucker
把他打得他妈都不认识 and blows his fuckin' lungs out through his chest.
他们找上你了 听见了吗 他们找上你了 They're on to you. did you hear me? They're on to you
我还以为他们在找海扁王呢 I thought they were looking for Kick - Ass?
不是了 吉甘特刚给我们放了段小电影 Not anymore. Gigante just put on a little movie show for us.
新的超级英雄 Different Superhero.
在仓库里干掉一帮阿米克的人 In a warehouse killing a whole bunch of D'Amico's guys.
让我大胆猜测一下 那就是你? I'm gonna take a wild guess that was you?
- 我把所有的摄像头都砸了 - 显然没有 - I killed all the cameras. - Apparently not.
听着 兄弟 你得销声匿迹 快藏起来 Look bro, you need to get ghost. Hide yourself quick.
很感谢 Appreciate it.
明迪 Mindy
别做作业了 宝贝 No more homework, baby doll
该让弗兰克·阿米克滚蛋了 It's time for Frank D'Amico to go bye - bye.
X战警 神奇4侠 X - Men, Fantastic 4
现在我还打不过他们 Right now I can't beat the crap out of them.
一切都失控了 Everything was out of control
我不知道该做什么 I didn't know what the hell to do
你还好吗 戴夫 You OK, Dave?
你看上去很累 You look tired
要不今晚早睡觉? Gonna have an early night tonight, maybe?
我也找不到人可以聊天 And there was no one I could talk to about it
喂 Hello
挺好的 Yeah...alright, bro.
我从未感觉如此孤单 I never felt more alone
我一直梦想成为超级英雄 I've always dreamed of being a super hero
但这一切...简直是恶梦 But this...was a nightmare
该脱下这身愚蠢的行头了 It was time to stop wearing this stupid costume
但我还需要穿着它再做一件事 But there was one last thing I needed it for
蜘蛛侠跟彼得·帕克有什么区别 What's the difference between Spider - Man and Peter Parker?
蜘蛛侠有美女陪 Spider - Man gets the girl
嘿 我是海扁王 Hey,I'm Kick - Ass!
我是海扁王 I'm Kick Ass
你给我发邮件了 You e - mailed me.
拜托 Please...
我操 Fuck!
见鬼 Oh Fuck!
戴面具的死变态 Fuckin' freak in a mask - fuck!
滚出我家 Get out of my house
我不会伤害你的 好了 I'm not gonna hurt you, alright!
不 是我 No, no, it's me
- 我只想给你个惊喜 - 戴夫 - I was only trying to surprise you - Dave?!
- 抱歉 - 你他妈在干什么 - Sorry - What the fuck are you doing?!
你为什么穿成海扁王的样子 Why are you dressed as Kick - Ass?
因为我就是海扁王 Because I am Kick - Ass.
说什么胡话呢 What are you talking about?
- 我也不是同性恋 - 我操 - And I'm also not gay. - Fuck!
我知道我一直很蠢 还是个烂朋友 And I know I've been an idiot, and a shit friend,
我骗了你 我知道 I lied to you, I know
天哪 Oh my God!
我知道 如果能让你感觉好一点 I know and if it makes you feel any better,
我知道你已经讨厌我到家了 I don't think you could hate me any more right now
我讨厌我自己 I hate myself.
拜托 我... Please I'm...
听着 我真的对不起 Look, I'm really really sorry
我从没见过像你这样漂亮 友好... I've never met anybody who was as beautiful and as kind,
可爱的人 and...lovely as you.
你应该跟更好的人在一起 You deserve better.
戴夫 Dave
是的 Yes
楼下有我妈妈设的防盗警铃 My mom has the burglar alarm set downstairs.
你应该从窗子走 You should probably use the window.
或者 Or
你可以留下来 You could just stay.
留下? stay?
像上次过夜看电视那样? Like when we have a sleepover?
抱歉 我不想吓你的 I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you
我们得到上面去 We gotta get over the top of it
再下去 直入中央 and then into it right in the middle of her.
爸爸 我想我找到了 Daddy, I think I found one.
真是完美 而且他们能在3天内送来 It's perfect. And they can deliver it in three days...
但价值30万美元 And it's three hundred thousand dollars.
那你觉得还应该把钱花在哪儿 天哪 Can you think of anything else you'd rather spend it on? Oh my Gosh
真酷 that is cool!
是啊 Yeah.
加入购物车 Add to shopping cart
好吧 OK
("红旋风"漫画即将面世)
海扁王跟红旋风打 你觉得谁能赢 Out of Kickass and Red Mist, who do you think would win in a fight?
他们为什么要打 好傻 Why are they fighting? That seems stupid
你怎么想 What do you think?
不知道 但我觉得海扁王更可爱 I don't know. But I think Kick - Ass is cuter.
真的吗 Really?
拿我来说 如果有机会 我绝对会把他蛋蛋打飞 I, for one, would definitely fuck his brains out if I got the chance.
你会吗? You would?
当然 Definitely.
你想不想去看凯特·哈里森的新片 Do you...uh, feel like checking out that new Kate Hudson movie where...
她演个鞋子设计师的那个 she's like a shoe designer kind of guy?
我觉得能赶上下一场, 如果我们走... I think we can make the next showing if we leave...
好啊 Hell yeah.
我想他们没请我们 I guess we're not invited
好了 知道吗 过来 Alright..you know what, come here
我现在给你点一道大餐 I'm going to request a great meal for you right now
忽然之间 我明白了 Suddenly, I understood
为什么超级英雄只存在于漫画里 why super heroes only exist in the comics
我想过人们为什么不愿为陌生人出生入死 I doubt why people didn't risk their life for strangers
因为 我人生中的第一次 because, for the first time in my life
我有了值得活下去的东西 I had something to worth living for
害怕失去的东西 Something to lose
凯蒂担心我会受伤 Katie was worried about me getting hurt,
所以我保证再也不当海扁王了 so I promised her my Kick - Ass days were over.
而真相是 And the truth was,
我根本不怀念那段日子 I hardly missed it at all.
我都一周没上那网页了 I hadn't even checked the web site for, like, a week.
好的 我走了 Ok...I'm off then.
今晚不陪凯蒂? No Katie tonight?
明天 她周三要当志愿者 Tomorrow. Wednesdays she does one of her volunteer things.
你简直变了一个人 知道吗 You seem like a different guy, you know that?
你妈妈一定会高兴 Your mom would've been so happy
看到你不做缩头乌龟了 to see you out of your shell like this.
晚安 Have a good night
(红旋风: 你去哪儿了 我得见你)
- 嘿 宝贝 - 嗨 怎么了 - Hey, baby - Hi, what's going on?
我要再当一次海扁王 I gotta do that Kick - Ass thing
什么 What?
你不是退出了吗 I thought you were done with that?
这是最后一次 我向天发誓 This is the last time. I totally swear...
我担心你 I worry about you
希望你不要担心 I wish you wouldn't worry.
我控制不住, 真的 因为我... I can't help it. I do. Because I...
我很在乎你 I...care about you a lot.
我也很在乎你 I...care about you a lot, too.
最好事态真的很严重 伙计 This better be serious, Dude,
因为我向我女朋友保证我不玩了 because I promised my girlfriend that I'm done with all this shit.
我们俩都快死了 对你来说够严重了吧 How about both of us being dead? Is that serious enough for you?
- 死? - 怎么死 - Dead? - How?
事实证明仓库里那些死尸 Well it turns out those dead guys from the warehouse
有些混蛋朋友 had some bad motherfuckers for friends
他们认为是我们做的 and they think we did that shit.
有人想要我们的命 伙计 There's a price on our heads, man.
要我们的命? 这是哪儿 西部荒野吗 A price on our heads? What is this, the wild west?
我没骗你玩 伙计 I'm not messing with you, dude!
他们找到了我家 他们砸了我家 They found out where I lived! They trashed my placed!
我他妈完了 下一个就是你! I'm fucking screwed! And you're gonna be next, Okay?!
什么 What?
妈的 Shit
我们要怎么办 What do we do?
记得你说过还有别的超级英雄 Remember you mentioned that there were other super heroes
是的 Yeah.
你觉得他们会帮我们吗 Well, do you think they can help us?
热可可 多加棉花糖 Hot chocolate, extra Marsh - mellows.
比照片上更酷 Wow it's even cooler than in the picture
孩子 child
因为照片里没有格林机枪 you know because in the picture it didn't have Gatling guns
漂亮 Nice job.
我要上床睡觉了 好吗 I'm gonna get ready for bed, Okay?
好的 宝贝 Okay baby doll.
好梦 谢谢 Sleep tight Thanks
海扁王? Kick - Ass?
(休假中)
穿好衣服 我告诉他去B避难所见面 You go get dressed I'l tell him to meet us at safehouse B
回来再喝热可可 好的 老爸 We'll have our hot - chocolate when we get back. Okay daddy.
来 C'mon.
(超级老爹: B避难所见)
不 不 No..no
知道是哪儿吗 好了 you know where that is? I got it.
我输进GPS里 I'll just put it in the GPS
好的 走 Alright, let's go
妈的 Shit
呃 Well
你来了 还有红旋风 here you are, and Red Mist, too.
很高兴见到你 Pleasure to meet you.
我的荣幸 先生 Good to meet you sir.
请进 Please, come in
你先请 After you
风行萝莉 要有礼貌 宝贝 Hit Girl, manners..honey.
嗨 我是风行萝莉 Hi, I'm Hit Girl
不 No!
他是我这边的 他是好人 Hey he's with me, he's O.K.!
闭上鸟嘴 孩子 你爸才是老大 Shut the fuck up, kid! Your daddy's the boss!
- 少给我下命令 - 妈的 不 - You don't order shit! - Shit! No!...
他是我的人! He's with me!...
放他走 Let him go!...
滚出去 给我滚出去 Get outta here, get the fuck outta here
妈妈咪呀 我一直想有这么一把 Hotdamn, I always wanted one of these...
- 你真要拿走? - 是的 - Seriously you're gonna take that? - Yes
走吧 Come on.
知道当超级英雄要花多少钱么 You know what being a super hero actually costs?
你正巧惹了一堆麻烦 You happen to be in a lot of trouble here.
海扁王 快带他们走 Kick - Ass! Get em outta here!
海扁王 对不起 Kick Ass I'm sorry
进去 Get in there
你最好炒了这个混蛋 You better fire this asshole!
别理他 Ignore him.
火箭筒? A Bazooka?
好了 OK
我们说好的 老爸 We had a deal, dad.
我帮你抓到罪魁祸首 We had a fucking deal that would get you the guy who did it.
我只要你放海扁王走 他根本没有做错 All I'm asking is you let Kick - Ass go! He didn't do anything wrong!
克里斯 你得学会从我的角度看事 好吗 Chris, you gotta look at this from my point of view, Okay?
我要向人们发布公众信息 I gotta send a public service message to the people out there
说当超级英雄有害健康 that being a superhero is bad for your health.
至于那个大混蛋呢 没人知道他是谁 And the big motherfucker? Nobody knows who he is.
是的 但这不公平 Yeah, but that's not fair!
人生本来就不公平 孩子 接受吧 Life's not fair, kid. Get over it.
你要对他们怎么样 What are you gonna do with them?
你真的想接我的班? You really want to be a part of my business?
是的 Yeah.
那就坐下 闭嘴 Then sit down, shut up
好好看着 and watch.
弗兰克 准备好了 Frank, we're ready
请欣赏演出 Enjoy the show
你打算这样平息事态? You patched - up with this thing?
我就是那老大哥 I sure am big brother.
边看边学 Watch and learn
欢迎观看网上直播的爆炸性新闻 Welcome back to breaking news
纽约的超级英雄 a world wide web broadcast of the New York superhero
自称为"海扁王"的 who calls himself Kick - Ass.
即将进行现场演出 is about to be shown live.
有谣言说这将是海扁王的最后一次露面 Rumors have it that this will be Kick - Ass' farewell appearance
他将退出打击犯罪的生涯 that he will announce his retirement from crime fighting
人们正在口口相传 but as word - of - mouth continues to spread,
网络服务供应商预测 internet providers are predicting that
这将是网络史上最受关注的现场直播 it could be one of the most widely viewed live events in web history.
嘿 戴夫哪儿去了 Hey, where's Dave?
你们有没注意到... Hey have you guys noticed
他跟凯蒂在一起 He's with Katie...
显然的 obviously.
要不我为啥来 Why else would I be here?
虽然不知道这场表演是谁在幕后 With no idea as to who is behind the broadcast of this show
但可以看出服务器严重拥堵 But we could see wide spread server crashes
戴夫 为啥不告诉我你要这么干 Dave, why didn't you tell this is what you were doing.
你上新闻了 You're on the news.
打电话给我 Call me
倒数计时 真相即将揭开 We go now over live to the countdown clock as we are moments away.
表演开始 Showtime
帅哥美女你们好 他是...你们知道他是谁 Hello boys and girls, now this...uh...well you know who this guy is.
还有...这位是超级老爹 And...uh...this guy here is Big Daddy
还有我的朋友 And these are my friends.
过来打个招呼 Come on in guys say hello
好的 Yeah.
来了 你们好 Yeah there they are Hello, Hello
现在超级老爹和海扁王 Now Big Daddy and Kick - Ass
将告诉你们 当英雄是个坏主意 are gonna help us show you why being a hero is a bad idea.
知道什么是静音K吗 You know what a silent "K" is?
就是单词以K打头 但不发音 That's when "K" is at the beginning of the but you don't pronounce it
像在"knuckle duster(关节式手套)"这个词里一样 like in the word knuckle duster
让他们看看关节式手套能干什么 Show them what knuckle duster can do, Guy.
一定很疼 Oh that must've hurt.
另一边再来一下 Let's see that again on the other side, go.
好了 看吧 Oh Yeah, look at this
在法语里 "棍"这个单词是这么说的 Now in France they say the word stick like this...
噢 Ba - ton Ba - ton.
我们有海扁王的棍子 We have some of Kick - Ass' batons.
给你们看看能用来干什么 We're gonna show you what they can do.
上吧 孩子们 Go ahead boys.
在美国 我们用哪种棍子呢 In America we say stick like this...
棒球棍 Baseball Bat
可以打膝盖 For hittin' knees..
手 hands...
打球球也很好用 It's also good for hittin' balls.
我们也不爱单打独斗 我们爱打群架 We don't do 'em individually, we do 'em all together.
先生们 请 Gentlemen please. Yeah.
看着可真疼啊 Oh this looks very painful...
因为图像太过血腥 Due to the distressing nature of the images
我们现在不能 we are unable to
在网上进行现场直播了 broadcast the events currently streaming live on the Internet
不 不 No No
之前的误导信息说明 Misguided miscalculations suggest that
这可能是场骗局或是宣传噱头 this may be some kind of hoax or publicity stunt.
现在可以清楚的是人质已受重伤 It is now clear that the hostages are in genuine danger
所有的迹象都显示 That all signs point to the intentions
一会儿将出人命 to stage a live execution in the next few minutes
我穿着金属板 神经末梢也不敏感 Even with my metal plates and my fucked up nerve endings,
但我得告诉你们 I've gotta tell ya,
真的很疼 that hurt.
看到了么 There can you see
对 它是寂静杀手 Yes, the silent killer
但这样的痛苦还远远比不上抛下我拥有的一切 But not half as much as the idea of leaving everything behind.
凯蒂 Katie
我爸爸 My dad.
托德和马蒂 Todd and Marty
还有我没机会做的事 And all the things I'd never do.
比如学开车 Like learn to drive.
还有看看我和凯蒂的孩子长啥样 Or see what me and Katie's kids would look like.
我还没看到"迷失"的结局 Or find out what happened on Lost.
如果你自我安慰 And if you're reassuring yourself
因为我还在说话 你就认为我会挺过去 that I'm gonna make it through this since I'm talking to you now,
别耍聪明了 quit being such a smart ass.
伙计 你没看过"罪恶之城"? Hell dude. You've never seen Sin City?
"日落大道""美国丽人"? Sunset Boulevard? American Beauty?
还有这个...勇士们...是火 And this,...for all you brave men out there...is fire.
火 火很好啊 Fire, Fire's good
火是我们的朋友 Fire is our friend
先生们 Gentlemen
死期到了 Time to die.
怎么回... What the...
快点火 Find me a lighter
我来 I've got it
不 No!
快躲起来 孩子 Take cover, child!
现在换成氪晶体! Now switch to Kryptonite!
发射 2轮子弹 再来! Eject, 2 rounds and relay!
表演结束了 禽兽 Show's over mother - fuckers.
耶! Yeah!
我想我爱上她了 伙计 I think I'm in love with her, dude.
她看起来只有11岁 但是... She looks like she's about 11 years old, but...
我可以等 我庄严地起誓 I can wait. I solemnly vow
我将把我的初夜留给她 to save myself for her.
我知道那一定很不容易 I can see that this can be really difficult for you.
还好吗 Are you OK?
是的 哇 Yeah. Whoa
做得好 Good job.
我为你骄傲 洋娃娃 I'm so proud of you, baby doll
你还好吗 Are you OK?
是的 Yes
我中弹了 老爸 比你打我时疼多了 Getting shot, daddy, hurt a lot more than when you did it.
那是因为我用的低速手枪 孩子 That's because I used low - velocity rounds, child.
你是全世界最棒的老爸 You're the kindest daddy in the whole world
我只是... I just...
我爱你 I love you
我也爱你 爸爸 I love you too daddy
我爱你 爸爸 I love you, dad
晚安 good night
你叫什么名字 What's your name?
我是说 你的真名 I mean, your real name
超级英雄从不透露她的真名 A super hero never reveals her true identity.
听着 你不能继续... What look, you can't go on...
不管你以前过的是什么日子 However you lived before...
都过去了 It's over.
还有别人吗 Is there anybody else?
别的亲人 Any other family, or?
我能照顾自己 I can take care of myself.
我救了你的小命 I saved your sorry ass!
钱呢 what about money?
好了 因为你得有点远见 Alright, cause you've got to think long - term
我箱子里有3百万美元 I've got three million dollars in a suitcase!
对你来说 够长远了吧 That long - term enough for ya?
不全是关于钱 It's not all about the money,
我欠你的 I owe you
要不是你 我就死了 If not for you, I'd be dead.
要不是你 if it wasn't for you
我爸爸也不会死 my dad wouldn't be.
听着 Look
收拾你的东西 去我那里 pack up whatever you need and we'll go back to my place.
我想我得清理一下 I just need to clean up, I think?
我是说 收拾睡衣啦 Woah. I meant, like pajamas
还有衣服什么的 你不能把这个带去我家 and clothes and stuff. You can't take that stuff to my house.
知道我爸爸最想要什么吗 You know what my dad would have really wanted?
他会希望我们完成使命 He would have wanted me to finish what we started.
我正打算这么干 And that's exactly what I'm gonna do.
这是弗兰克·阿米克的地盘吗 Is this Frank D'Amico's place?
那么多保安 All that security
你疯了吗 Are you crazy?
我妈妈已经白白死去了 My mom already died for nothing.
所以 我一定不能让爸爸也白白牺牲 So, I'm sure as hell not gonna let my dad die for nothing too.
你不能孤军奋战 You can't do this on your own.
不错 Exactly
你想接我爸的班? You wanna deal with owing my dad?
那就闭上鸟嘴拿起武器 Then shut the hell up and pick your weapon.
这不是那什么吧 Is that what I think it is?
你他妈说对了 Damn straight.
你最好看看说明 Oh you better start reading the instructions,
因为再过5分钟你就要用它了 'cause you're gonna be using it in about five minutes.
听着 你们还有5分钟可以玩 回到岗位上 Yo listen up, you've got 5 minutes and I want you back on your post
收拾干净 and don't leave a mess
一切都好吗 Everything okay?
一切都好 头儿 Things alright, boss
不敢相信我的枪又回来了 Can't believe I got my gun back
看 Look at that
你知道那不是... You know it's not that..
让她进来 Let her in
是个小孩 That's a little kid
你是怎么回事 What's the matter with you?
你没事吧 宝贝 You okay, sweetheart?
不 我找不到爸爸妈妈了 No, I lost my mommy and daddy.
她找不到爸爸妈妈了 she lost her mommy and daddy
想用我电话吗 You wanna use my cell phone?
你能记住号码吗 Now can you remember the number?
我真的做过超级英雄吗 Had I ever been a real superhero?
我对这个世界做过最大的贡献就是 The most I'd ever had to offer the world was
善意和被夸大的海扁能力 good intentions and a slightly elevated capacity to take a kicking.
没有权力 就没有责任 With no power comes no responsibility.
只不过 Except
那不是真理 that wasn't true.
妈的 shit
嘿 我在这儿 救我出去! Hey I'm in here come help me out!
等等 他妈的 所有人都死了 Wait, fuck this! And, everybody's dead!
她在柜台后面 她没子弹了 She's behind the counter, she's out of ammo.
你觉得他们抓住她了? Do you think they got her?
抓不住的话 还有他呢 If they didn't he will.
给我出去 Get out there
现在? Now?
是的 现在 Yeah, now
怎么回鸟事 What the fuck is going on?
我们困住她了 她还活着 We got her trapped she's still alive
那你们还在等什么 So what the hell you guys waiting for?
- 去抓她 - 上啊 - Go get her - Go ahead.
我他妈只有一支枪 我才不去 I only got one fucking gun. I'm not going in there.
快去 Do it now
快 Come on
废物 Fuck this shit.
我去拿火箭筒 I'm getting the Bazooka
火箭筒? Bazooka?
火箭筒 Bazooka
等等 头儿 只有我 一切尽在掌控 Whoa hold it. It's only me boss. Everything is under control.
尽在掌控? 你拿的是他妈的火箭筒 Under control? You're grabbing a fucking Bazooka you dumb ass.
头儿 快去 Sir? Do it
我一直想说 I always wanted to say this...
跟我的小朋友打个招呼 say Hello to my little friend
总算完了 Holy shit
这个火箭筒声音很怪诶 That is one weird sounding Bazooka
斯图 Stu!
操 Fuck!
出去 Get out
玩耍时间过了 孩子 Play time's over, kid.
我从来不玩 I never play
真的吗 Oh really?
敢毁我生意 Ruin my business, Huh?
挡我者死 I'll kill every single fucking guy or gal in my way
希望我儿子能像你一样 I wish my son was just like you.
是家人团聚的时候了 It is time for family reunion
嘿 Hey
为什么不找个身材跟你差不多的 Why don't you pick on someone your own size.
还好吗 You Ok?
是的 Yeah
该回家了 Time to go home
谢谢 海扁王 Thanks, Kick - Ass.
我爸爸 My daddy...
他会为我们骄傲的 He would have been proud of both of us.
戴夫 Dave
戴夫·莱泽斯基 Dave Lizewski.
我知道 蠢驴 I know that, dumbass
明迪 Mindy
明迪·麦克里迪 Mindy MacReady
再见 Bye
明迪搬去跟马克斯一起住了 在我们学校上学 Mindy moved in with Marcus and he enrolled her at my school
再见 好运 Bye Good luck
她上的第一所学校 first school she'd ever been to
我保证会照顾她 on the promise that I'd look out for her.
倒不是因为她需要我 "Not that she needed me too".
嘿 新孩子 Hey. New kid.
嗨 Hi
午饭钱 Lunch money.
快点 Now.
海扁王走了 但没有被遗忘 Kick - Ass was gone, but not forgotten.
有了新的超级英雄 我的世界更安全 And my world is much safer with all the new superheroes.
他们说灵感来自于我 They said I was their inspiration
但我所做的 只是打开了通往新世界的门 But all I did was make a door into a world
一个我从小梦想的世界 I dreamed about, since I was little kid.
充满超级英雄的世界 A world full of super heroes, huh?
像一位伟人曾经说过的 like a great man once said...
等着吃我一弹吧(摘自蝙蝠侠中的小丑) Wait'll they get a load of me.