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在紐約 法律與混亂有明顯的界限 In New York City, there's a fine line between law and chaos.
在那條界限上的是丹森和海史密斯 On that line live Danson and Highsmith.
再說一遍我為什麼要爬上車頂! Tell me again why I decided to get on this roof!
我覺得你可以歸罪於錯誤的人生選擇 I think you can chalk that up to bad life choices.
幹掉那個混蛋 Get rid of that asshole.
啊哦 我討厭你說"啊哦" Uh-oh! I hate it when you say "uh-oh!"
老兄 你身手真敏捷! Dude, you put a ding in my hood!
放馬過來啊! Come on with it, then!
麻煩了 That's trouble.
誰打了九夭夭嗎? Did someone call Nine-One-holy-shit?
到此結束了 我厭倦了逃來逃去 That's it. I'm sick of all this running.
抓緊了! Hang on!
你有權保持沉默 You have the right to remain silent!
但我想聽你尖叫! But I wanna hear you scream!
臥倒! Down on the ground!
探員 嘿 探員 Detective! Yeah, yeah! Detective!
一個個來 好不好? One at a time, all right?
探員們 我是雷克·格雷森 Yeah, Detectives, Rick Grayson,
來自紐約觀察者網的記者 New York Observer Online.
這些嫌犯被逮捕時只發現持有0.25磅的大麻 These suspects were caught with only a quarter pound of marijuana,
在一些州只算輕罪 a misdemeanor in some states.
你認為這次造成1200萬損失的逮捕行動值得嗎? Do you think this arrest was worth $12 million in property damages?
為什麼不讓紐約回答這個問題? Why don't we let New York City answer that question?
這是世界上最好的城市! The greatest city on Earth, yeah!
你好 來自TMZ出版社的莎拉·加夫尼 Hi, Sarah Gapone from TMZ print edition.
丹森 你和金姆·卡丹森的緋聞是真的嗎? Danson, are the rumors about you and Kim Kardashian true?
我不做評論 No comment.
但 是的 But, yes.
丹森和海史密斯 終生都有免費熱狗吃! Danson and Highsmith, free hot dogs for life!
但飲料不免費 我不能虧太多啊 No drinks. No drinks. I can't do it. I can't do it.
丹森和海史密斯無論射擊 開車 做愛都有型 Danson and Highsmith shoot, drive, and sex with style.
他們是明星 They're rock stars.
然後才輪到講笑話的 打球的 獸醫 Then you got your jokers, your ball busters, your vets...
和二流人物 ...and the other guys.
我們知道 我們知道 我們知道 We know, we know. We know.
好好好 聽我說! 聽我說! All right, all right, all right. Listen up, listen up!
今晚我們在巴特酒店開慶祝會 We're having a celebration tonight at Butter.
布羅迪·珍妮會去 還有白靈 Brody Jenner's gonna be there. Bai Ling.
來自澤西海岸的小婊子 耶! That little short bitch from Jersey Shore. Yeah!
你們大部分都被邀請了 And most of you are on the list.
你們最棒 You're the best.
同志們 我現在有話要說 Guys, I'm gonna say something right now.
關於一個來自奧地利的有夢想的人 It's about a man who came from Austria with a dream.
阿諾·施瓦辛格! 讓我說完 Arnold Schwarzenegger! Let me finish.
他先成為冠軍後來做了影星 懂嗎? He became a champion and then a movie star, all right?
阿諾·施瓦辛格! 該死 讓我說... Arnold Schwarzenegger! God damn it, let me...
你毀了這故事 你毀了這故事 They ruined the story. They ruined the story.
重要的是 Let...What...The point is,
我們沒有今天的成就 we couldn't do our job
如果沒有你們做文書工作 if it weren't for you guys doing all the paperwork,
接電話 還有其他我們不願做的事 answering the phones, and all that stupid shit that we don't like to do.
那些槍戰 那些追捕行動 all the gun fights all the car chases
那些我們本不想卻又不得不上的女人 all the sex we don't wanna have with women, but we have to,
都是因為有了你們 謝謝 all due to what you guys do. Thank you.
而且我們週而復始地做著 And we'd do it again and again.
閉上你的臭嘴 Hey, you shut your face!
如果你要講話 If we wanna hear you talk,
我就把手從你屁眼裏伸進去 然後把你當木偶耍! I will shove my arm up your ass and work your mouth like a puppet!
聽到了沒? 聽到了沒? You hear me? You hear me?
酒吧見 對 Cash bar. Yeah.
老實點 混蛋們 Peace out, bitches.
好 夥計們 靠近點 Hey, fellas. All right, bring it in.
來吧 靠近點 Come on. Bring it in a little bit.
對 這裏就行了 All right, right there.
後退 就站在這裏 Just back up, just like right there.
好 再退...再前進... All right, just one...Just a...
對對對 就是這裏 就是這裏 There you go, right there. Right there.
這是他們的文書工作 你們知道他們不會做的 This is their paperwork. You know they're not gonna do it.
沒錯 這些文書工作就像鮑勃的老婆 That's right. This paperwork is like Bob's wife here.
又厚又無趣 滿是丹森的指紋 It's thick, ugly, got Danson's fingerprints all over it.
無冒犯之意 鮑勃 沒關係 No offense, Bob. That's all right.
無論如何 誰要做? 我要! Anyway, now who wants it? I do!
好的 這活給文書獃子和揚基剪子了! All right! Paper Bitch and Yankee Clipper on the case!
好好幹 謝謝 艾倫 謝謝長官 Nice work. Thanks, Allen. Thank you, Captain.
"給我做 給我做" "I'll do it! I'll do it!"
別再哼那個歌啦! Stop humming that song!
我想哼就哼 不 我知道你想 I can hum if I want to. No, I know you can.
但我偏要你停 I'm asking you to stop.
如果你要求的話 我就停 謝謝 Well, if you're asking, then I'll stop. Thank you.
你可不可以不那樣笑? Could you not smile like that?
你因為自己的感情 Now you're asking me to mask my emotions
而要求我掩飾我的感情 because of how it makes you feel.
我才不幹呢 That I will not do.
說真的 不要再哼了 好嗎? Seriously, stop humming! Okay?
這不是財會統計 This isn't accounting or wherever the hell
你別以為用你的小計算器就能搞定 you and your little pocket calculator were transferred from.
法務會計 好不好 這工作很重要的 Forensic accounting, okay. And it's an important part of the job.
隨你便 Yeah, whatever.
做這種垃圾工作就別屁顛屁顛的啦 你個傻帽 Stop being so overtly happy about doing shit work, you moron.
同志們 提醒一下 Hey, guys. Reminder.
警署的野餐聚會將在週末舉辦 The police union picnic's coming up this weekend.
我老婆要做拿手菜芥末蛋 我的肚子又要撐大嘍 My wife's making her famous deviled eggs, again. My waistline's furious.
現在不該說那個 鮑勃 It's a bad time, Bob!
好吧 All right.
去吃塊蛋糕 Going to get a slice.
你知道我剛才看到什麼了? You know what I just did?
我一出門 就看到一些探員 I just walked out that door, saw a couple detectives,
他們馬上就要在你背後說壞話了 and I was about to start bad mouthing you behind your back,
但是我沒有說你壞話 因為我爸媽教我 but I stopped myself, because my pops taught me
在背後說別人壞話的人是懦夫 that a man who talks behind somebody's back is a coward.
哇 我很感激 Wow, I actually appreciate that.
好 因為我要當面說你的壞話 Good, 'cause I'm gonna tell you directly to your face.
不 你不必 不 我不喜歡你 No. You don't have to. No, I don't like you.
我覺得你不是真警察 I think you're a fake cop.
你小便時候的聲音 聽起來跟個娘們似的 The sound of your piss hitting the urinal? It sounds feminine.
如果在野外 我會攻擊你的 If we were in the wild, I would attack you.
哪怕你不在我的食物鏈裏 Even if you weren't in my food chain,
我也會破例把你給宰了 I would go out of my way to attack you.
如果我是雄獅 你是個金槍魚 If I were a lion, and you were a tuna,
我會游在海中把你吃掉 I would swim out in the middle of the ocean and freaking eat you!
然後上你的女友 And then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend.
首先 怎麼會有會游泳的獅子? Okay, first off, a lion swimming in the ocean?
獅子不喜歡水 Lions don't like water.
你硬把它放在河流或者淡水的旁邊 If you'd placed it near a river or some sort of fresh water source,
倒是行得通 that'd make sense.
但假使你在海中 二十英尺高的巨浪 But you find yourself in the ocean, 20-foot waves,
我說的是在南非的海域 I'm assuming it's off the coast of South Africa,
遇到一個八百磅的成年金槍魚 coming up against a full-grown, 800-pound tuna
還有他的二三十個朋友 with his 20 or 30 friends?
你必死無疑 You lose that battle.
你十有八九會死的 你知道嗎? You lose that battle nine times out of ten. And guess what?
如果你膽敢進入金槍魚群 You've wandered into our school of tuna,
我們就可以嘗到獅子的味道了 and we now have a taste of lion.
我們和自己講話 我們交談 We've talked to ourselves. We've communicated.
是嗎 然後說"你知道嗎? Yeah? And said, " You know what?
"獅子味道不錯 我們再去吃幾個吧" "Lion tastes good. Let's go get some more lion. "
我們就會在灘頭建立一個基地 We've developed a system to establish a beachhead
然後蠶食你的整個族群 and aggressively hunt you and your family.
我們會奪走你的驕傲 And we will corner your pride,
你的孩子 你的後代 你怎麼做? your children, your offspring. How you gonna do that?
我們會用海草做一套呼吸裝置 We will construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp.
用來吸收一些氧氣 We will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen.
一次雖然不能上岸幾天 It's not gonna be days at a time,
但一兩個小時絕對沒問題 but an hour, hour 45, no problem.
這樣我們就可以找出你住在哪裏 That will give us enough time to figure out where you live,
回到海洋 攝入更多氧氣 然後再跟蹤你 go back to the sea, get more oxygen, and then stalk you.
你搬石頭砸自己的腳 我們武器 人數都比你們多 You just lost at your own game. You're outgunned and outmanned.
你開始是這麼想的嗎? Did that go the way you thought it was gonna go?
不 Nope.
在開市的兩分鐘前 Two minutes before the markets open,
帕米拉·博德曼 蘭道環球公司的總裁 Pamela Boardman, CEO of Lendl Global,
將按鈴宣佈市場開放 ringing the opening bell.
博德曼旁邊的是投資銀行家 大衛·厄森 With Boardman is investment banker, David Ershon,
他擁有蘭道集團七百億資產的百分之四十 who manages 40% of Lendl's $70-billion equity pool.
我們虧損了多少? How much did we lose?
現在您可以按鈴了 博德曼女士 You may ring the bell now, Ms. Boardman.
三千兩百 萬? $32. Million?
不 三百二十億 No, billion.
去你的! Shit!
唐人街的三個黑幫痞子 我幹掉了兩個 Chinatown. Three Triad gang members. I popped two of them off the draw.
崩崩 好 Bang, bang. Yeah.
然後我站起來幹掉他們的老大 Then I raise up to take the leader out.
媽呀 我好像身臨其境 Shit, I feel like I'm there now.
我聽到口哨聲 我的搭檔在屋頂 I hear a whistle. My partner's on the roof.
他說"讓我們為民除害" He says, "Let's even the odds!"
他把用步槍把我擊倒 我直接一槍穿膛將他打死 He tosses me down a Mossberg pump. I send one through his chest.
遊戲結束了 混蛋們 Game over, bitches.
好了 好 All right. Yeah.
吉米? 說說那個故事令你感覺如何? Jimmy? Let's talk about how that story made you feel.
好像我的下體是用混凝土做的 Like my cock was made out of concrete.
我知道你很勇敢 I know it's very tempting.
你想令朋友們印象深刻 You want to impress your friends.
但是我們說的是嚴肅的問題 好不好? But this is serious stuff we're dealing with, okay?
要按照職責使用武器 This is firing your weapon in the line of duty.
霍茲警員? Officer Hoitz?
哦 天啊 Oh, man.
有沒搞錯 要開始了 Come on! Here we go.
你想分享你的故事嗎? Would you like to share?
不 算了吧 No, I'd rather not.
霍茲警員 你來警署六個月了 Officer Hoitz, you've been coming here for six months now,
始終一言不發 and you haven't said a word.
這裏很和諧的 沒人會對你說三道四 This is a safe room, no judgment here.
蠢蛋 Jerkoff.
你在評論別人 吉米 說吧 That's judgment, Jimmy. Come on.
我每晚都會想起 I relive it every night.
布朗克斯區 十月 Bronx, October.
世界職業棒球錦標賽第七場 Game 7 of the World Series.
那些大理石 巨大的壓力 騷亂的人群 For all the marbles. High pressure, unruly crowd,
我在一個隧道裏執勤 and I pulled tunnel duty.
我在隧道看到一個黑影 我警告他停下來 I mean, I saw a shadowy figure in the tunnel. I told him to stop.
嘿 嘿 嘿 這裏禁止通行 Whoa, whoa, whoa, this is a restricted area!
最後還是拿出槍來 Finally pulled my gun.
拿出一個致命武器 他向我跑來 Pulled a deadly weapon. He started running at me.
不要讓我開槍! 我會的! Don't make me shoot! I'll do it!
你聾了嗎? 我說了"不許動" Are you deaf? You hear me yell, "Freeze"?
你個混蛋! 我是德裏克·傑特 你擊中我了! You dick! I'm Derek Jeter! You shot me!
你讓我輸了二十美金! 混蛋 You cost me 20 grand on that game! Douche bag.
紐約失去了一座冠軍啊 Cost the city a championship.
我本來要被提拔到兇殺組的高層 I was being groomed for a top position in homicide.
現在和一個做案頭工作的傻子搭檔 Now I'm stuck with a desk jockey partner.
每個人都叫我揚基剪子 Everybody calls me the Yankee Clipper.
因為你射中了德裏克·傑特 Because you shot Derek Jeter!
他可是雙族天使 He's a biracial angel.
你應該向A羅德開槍 You should've shot A-Rod.
嗨 文書獃子 Yo, Paper Bitch.
有事嗎? 夥計們 What's up, man? Hey. Hey, guys.
文書獃子 文書獃子 Paper Bitch. Paper Bitch.
我不喜歡這個外號 I don't like that, actually.
我知道你們覺得有趣 但我不喜歡 I know you guys think it's fun, but I don't like that name.
還在做丹森和海史密斯的文書工作啊? Still working on the Danson and Highsmith paperwork?
該死 不 其實 其實 那是... Shit. No, actually, actually, that's...
這是什麼? 看起來傻啦吧唧的 What is this? That looks stupid.
非法建築工程的批准令 Guys, it's illegal permitting for construction.
準確說是腳手架問題 Specifically, scaffolding.
有些人說 Some of the guys were talking.
你在辦公室怎麼 They were like, " How come you've never
沒有用過武器? fired your weapon in the office before?"
說的好 Good point.
對不起 我不懂 I'm sorry, I don't follow.
你在辦公室沒有用過武器 You've never fired your weapon in the office.
我們都用過 叫做跳桌 We all have, you know. It's called a desk pop.
同志們 我知道你們不尊重我的工作 Fellas, look, I know you don't respect me as a police officer.
才沒有呢 我不笨 Not true. I'm not stupid.
我在辦公室不會卸下武器 I'm not gonna discharge my firearm in the office.
甘博 聽我說 我再說清楚點 Gamble, listen to me. I'll try to make it real clear.
我們很尊重你 We honor the flag,
你要是不開槍你就對不起我們 and you crap on it when you don't shoot your gun in the office.
吉米 你上次開槍是什麼時候 Jimmy. When's the last time you had a desk pop?
九月八號 September '08.
像男人一樣 開槍 現在 Be a man. Do it. Now.
開槍吧 來個痛快! Please, please, do it. Pop one off!
沒錯 開槍 想也別想 開槍就是了 There you go. Pop it off! Don't think, just go!
好吧 開槍 對 Here we go. Do it, yes.
他開了 He did it!
嘿 有人開槍了 Hey! Shots fired!
嘿特裏! 我做到了! 我跳桌啦! Hey, Terry, I did it! I did my first desk pop!
我真的開槍了 是嗎? It's a real thing, right?
跳桌? 是 A desk pop? Yeah.
沒這回事 No, that's not real!
他們很有說服力啊 他們騙了我! They were so convincing in their argument, they swung me.
好吧艾倫 你必須交出槍來 All right, Allen, you're gonna have to hand over your gun.
遵命長官 Yes, sir.
長官 你要真的想繳械 Captain, you really wanna disarm this guy,
就把他計算器裏的電池卸了 take out the batteries in the calculator.
好吧 給你這個 假槍 All right, I'm gonna give you this. This is a dummy gun.
我節日裏用它做做樣子 I use it for ceremony.
給 There.
等你知道怎麼使用了再還給你 You get this back when I feel you know how to handle it.
聽著 夥計們 我有兩份工作 我在這裏有工作 Listen, guys. I'm working two jobs. I'm working here.
在床上用品店那邊還有份工作 好不? And I got another job at Bed Bath and Beyond. Okay?
我只是想讓一個孩子上紐約大學 I'm doing that just to put a kid through NYU
讓他可以探索雙性向然後成為一個DJ so he can explore his bisexuality and become a deejay.
最後一個要求就是警署的彈道報告 Now the last thing I need is a ballistics report in the unit.
我不會要求你們...真的 I'm just gonna ask you guys, please, come on, really.
想想...聰明點 Just think about...Just be smart.
發生武裝搶劫 211 in progress.
劫匪用大鐵球砸開了卡斯蒂珠寶店 They're using a wrecking ball to clean out Castien Jewelry.
好了 我們知道了 All right, we got it.
祝你們好運 好好幹 艾倫 我們走 Good luck, guys. Have a good one. Allen, let's go.
不 我還有活沒干 什麼 這才是正事 No, I got work to do. What? This is work!
丹森和海史密斯 我們車輪滾滾來 Hey, yo! Danson and Highsmith. We roll in heavy.
你們原地乖乖呆 You cream puffs, sit tight.
你在搞什麼鬼! You gotta be shitting me!
你們不能永遠把我關在這裏 好不好? You can't keep me cooped up in here, okay?
我是個孔雀 我要飛 I am a peacock! You gotta let me fly!
他剛剛管自己叫孔雀? Did he just...Did he just call himself a peacock?
走吧 走吧 Let's go! Let's go!
放馬來吧 Come on, fellas!
週三晚上去萊克島監獄吃玉米卷吧! Wednesday night is taco night at Rikers Island!
那是本周第二個了! That's the second one this week!
你們這些小兔崽子! 不要跑! Hey, you monkeys! Stop!
快走! Let's go!
好 Yeah!
抬頭! Heads up!
該死 Shit.
特種部隊高空滑行 Special Forces zipline.
切掉那根線 切掉! 我們走! Cut that line! Cut it! Let's go!
這些歹徒是專家 我們上 These guys are pros. Let's go!
你和我想的一樣 搭檔? You thinking what I'm thinking, partner?
朝著灌木叢跳 Aim for the bushes.
警察們還在討論為何丹森和海史密斯跳了下去 Cops still argue to this day why Danson and Highsmith jumped.
也許是因為驕傲 那麼多次死裏逃生 Maybe it was just pride, having survived so many brushes with death.
也許是他們太自負了 Maybe their egos pushed them off.
我不知道 但他們真瘋狂 I don't know. But that shit was crazy.
無論如何 紐約出現了一個洞 Either way, there was a hole in New York City,
需要人來填滿 and it needed to be filled.
兩天前 紐約哭了 Two days ago, this city wept.
我們失去了奉獻了一切的兩名英雄 We lost two heroes who gave everything for us,
他們最後的犧牲 who paid that ultimate sacrifice
也是為了我們能夠安全地走在馬路上 so that we may walk these streets safely.
他們跳下去的地方連一個遮雨棚都沒有 There wasn't even an awning in their direction.
不 我知道 他們從二十樓跳了下來 No, I know. They just jumped 20 stories.
這不符合邏輯 對嗎? Doesn't make sense, does it?
我只希望上帝可以讓他們把警察配槍帶到天堂 I only hope God lets them take their. 357s with them to heaven.
我們的時代來臨了 艾倫 It's our moment, Allen.
我們代替他倆的時代來臨了 Our moment to step up and be the guys.
我們還在葬禮上呢 給他們點尊重吧 什麼? We're at a funeral. Show some respect. What?
你不覺得每一個在場的警察 You don't think every other detective here
都在想同一件事嗎? isn't thinking the same thing?
艾倫 聽我說 丹森和海史密斯已經死了 Allen, listen to me. Danson and Highsmith are gone.
他們人去桌空 總得有人填補他們的職位 Their desks are empty. Someone has to fill those seats.
那就是我們了好不好? 紐約現在急缺英雄 That someone is us, okay? The city's dying for a hero.
是嗎? 是的 Is it? Yeah.
那要是九百萬個有社交意識 有團隊精神的公民 What about nine million socially-conscious and unified citizens,
都想要代替他們的位置怎麼辦? all just stepping up and doing their part?
小時候 你沒有玩過警察抓小偷? As a little kid, didn't you dress up and play cops and robbers?
我告訴你我小時候做過什麼吧 I'll tell you what I did as a little kid.
我去上學 整理床鋪 I went to school and made my bed.
十一歲時 我審查了我父母的賬本 And at age 11, I audited my parents.
我告訴你 事情出了點小差錯 我就被他們禁足了 And believe me, there were some discrepancies, and I was grounded.
你是從哪來的怪胎啊? What the hell are you?
喲喲喲 看看誰來了 Well, well, well. What do we got here?
看看這兩個傻蛋 Look at these two jamokes, would you?
一個射中了傑特 另一個在警署開槍 One shot Jeter and the other shot an office.
嘴巴乾淨點 我們還在參加葬禮呢 Have some decorum. We're at a funeral.
你要跳舞嗎 小樣? You wanna dance, brolio?
我要用我的巨根爆你菊花 I will rock your body with big, nasty hooks.
讓你後庭流血 You'll be pissing blood out of your ass.
慘啊 That's horrible.
你靠那麼近幹嘛? Why don't you step back, man?
你敢碰他 我對上帝發誓 You touch him, I swear to God
我會用艾倫的頭把你打得屁股開花 I'm gonna beat the shit out of you with Allen's head.
他不會這麼做的 他只是虛張聲勢 不過有點怪異 He's not gonna do that. That's hyperbole. But that's a weird example.
你想打架? 打就打! You wanna go? I wanna go!
打倒他 扁他 馬丁 Get him off. Kick his ass, Martin.
這樣如何? Yeah. How do you like that?
抓他頭髮 我喜歡 Pull his hair! I love it.
這下可真疼 This hurts so good.
請節哀 女士 多高雅的帽子啊 Very sorry for your loss, ma'am. What a lovely hat.
我愛你的鞋 I love your shoes.
好了好了 繼續 繼續 It's fine, it's fine. Go, go.
教訓他! Punish him!
哦 有沒搞錯 Oh, man.
就這樣 我們就是這樣做的 Do it. That's how we do it in the hood.
教訓他 根本就沒有這種動作 Punish him. That's not even a move.
我贏了 我贏了 每個人都看到了 I'm the winner. I'm the winner, everybody saw it.
你們在搞什麼鬼? What the hell is going on here?
兩個好人剛死 Two good men are dead,
你們就為了誰將繼承他們的輝煌而打架? you guys are fighting over who's gonna be the next hotshot?
是這麼回事? Is that what's happening?
是 就是這麼回事 Yes, that's exactly what's happening.
我告訴你 Let me tell you something.
請節哀 羅琳 請節哀 Sorry for your loss, Lorraine. Very sorry.
請節哀 羅琳 請節哀 羅琳 Sorry, Lorraine. Sorry, Lorraine.
你好 我叫吉米 Hi, I'm Jimmy.
太早了吧 你幹嘛說這個? Too soon? Why'd you say that?
我告訴你 這兩個人 I'll tell you something about those guys.
他們之所以是好警察 They knew that to become a good cop,
因為他們解決了很多案子 好不? you had to solve cases. Okay?
好 也許你們可以從卡斯蒂失竊案開始 Okay, and maybe you start with the Castien robbery.
好不好? 所以注意點 Okay? So just watch it.
下次我跟你在圖書館打 Next time, me, you, library.
甭想 來吧 夥計們 Not even close. Come on, guys. Guys, come on.
你是... 我贏了! You are... I'm the winner!
我不需要你幫我強出頭 好嗎? I didn't need you to stick up for me, okay?
我可以自己解決 I could've handled that myself.
別自戀了 我們是搭檔麼 我別無選擇 Hey, don't flatter yourself. It's the partner's code. I had no choice.
走開 Move.
九點十五 祝大家度過美好的一天 閉嘴 9:15, let's have a great day, everybody! Cut the shit!
早上好 Good morning.
有人開槍了 在西十街509號 We've got shots fired. 509 East 10th Street.
現場發現大量可卡因 There are large amounts of cocaine on the scene.
別惹麻煩了 Try to stay out of trouble, boys.
你肯定不會去那裏的 對嗎? There's no chance you'd wanna go on that call, right?
想也別想 太忙了 No chance. Too busy.
好吧 女生們 看到了沒? All right, ladies. Starting to get the picture?
這案子歸我們搞定了 We're about to lock shit down.
沒錯 你們女生乖乖呆在這裏吧 That's right. You girls stay here and get your type on.
抓住他們 夥計們 能量多多 專注多多 Go get them, guys. Lot of energy, lot of focus.
閉嘴! Shut up!
艾倫 我可以在走廊跟你說幾句嗎? Allen, could I see you in the hallway for a second?
我...我現在超忙 特裏 I...I'm super busy right now, Terry.
不不不 我知道 很快說完 No, no, no, I know. This'll be real quick.
是關於我們談過的建築工程批准令 It's about the construction permits you were talking about.
非法搭建腳手架? 這才是我們的案子 The scaffolding violations? This is our thing, yeah.
你查到什麼了? So, what do you got?
這個! 老實點 I got this! I'll put one right in your neck.
你幹什麼呢? What are you doing?
走吧 我們去辦案 Let's go. We're going to that call.
你幹嘛? 閉嘴 What is this? Shut up.
我們開車 我們要接辦這個案子 We're going to the car, and we're going after this case.
你不會向我開槍的 我不會? You're not gonna shoot me. I won't?
不會 我向傑特開過槍 No. I shot Jeter.
那是個意外 是嗎? That was an accident. Was it?
快走 好吧 Now move. Okay.
嘿 Hey.
看到沒有? 他用槍對著我 Does anybody see this? He's got a gun on me.
我被綁架了 I'm being kidnapped.
這裏是警署啊 怎麼沒人感興趣? Really, we're in a police station and no one is interested in this?
發生什麼了? 你說發生什麼了? So, then what happened? What do you think happened?
我醒來 解開脖子上的帶子 I woke up, I took the belt off my neck,
然後上車去了那裏 and I got in my car, and I got out of there.
一個瘋狂的週末 對嗎? Talk about a wild weekend, right?
我本來以為我要殺出去的 I thought I was gonna have to shoot my way out.
你要做什麼呢? 受戒禮 What are you gonna do, though, you know? Bar mitzvahs.
這是什麼? What the hell is this?
是我的車 普銳斯 It's my car. It's a Prius.
感覺跟在陰道裏駕車似的 I feel like we're literally driving around in a vagina.
霍茲探員和甘博警員在西十街518號 Detective Hoitz and Gamble are on that 518 on East 10th.
別想 馬丁和佛西 出來兩分鐘了 Negatory, Martin and Fosse, two minutes out.
看看誰先到 We'll just see who's there first.
離犯罪現場遠點! 你聽到沒? You stay out of our crime scene! You hear me?
快 快 快 Go, go, go!
感受到了嗎 艾倫? 蛋蛋是不是興奮了? You feel that, Allen? That tingling in your balls?
肚子裏面有金屬蝴蝶在煽動翅膀? Big metal butterflies fluttering around in your stomach?
你確定你沒有前列腺癌? Are you sure you don't have testicular cancer?
我知道這個可以讓你興奮起來 I got something to get you going.
我們去搞點破壞! Let's go do some damage!
不 Nope.
這是什麼? What the hell is that?
小河樂隊 LRB. Little River Band.
這音樂太娘們了 This music makes me feel like I'm going shopping for a training bra.
你知道嗎? 我們還是別聽音樂了 好不好? You know what? We go with no music, okay?
好 說再見 Fine. Say bye.
不不不 不要... No, no, no, don't say bye...
你死定了 霍茲 You just signed your own death warrant, Hoitz!
艾倫 你要是不踩加速器我就射你的腳! Allen, punch that accelerator or I will shoot you in the foot!
美國萬歲! America!
艾倫 艾倫 踩剎車! Allen! Allen, hit the brake!
真的 慢點開 我們快到犯罪現場了 Seriously, slow the car down! We're approaching the crime scene!
特裏 我來了 Terry, I'm coming in.
你會穿過那個帶子的 艾倫! You're gonna smash right through the tape! Allen!
老兄! 有沒... Dude! What...
好多可卡因啊 That's a lot of cocaine.
你踩加速器的時候是不是喊道"美國萬歲"? Did you yell "America" when you hit the accelerator?
沒 沒有 Nope. No. No.
我從沒像這樣 I've never actually put my foot all the way down
一腳踩到底過呢 to the ground with the accelerator like that.
我有點性奮了 It got me slightly aroused.
來了 Here we go.
等不及要到犯罪現場啊 夥計們 Way to put your stamp on the crime scene, guys.
普銳斯? 是的是的 Prius, huh? Yep, yep.
省油吧? Good mileage?
好著呢 對 Outstanding. Yeah.
這裏面是不是有牙科用膠布啊? Did this come with a dental dam?
沒有 沒有麼? No. Get it?
昨晚我在一雪佛蘭上找到這玩意 My Suburban shit one of these last night.
我不知道他們在輪子上還放衛生棉呢 I didn't know they put tampons on wheels.
我們玩得挺開心 是不? We've had our fun, huh?
就好像疤面煞星朝你車上打了個噴嚏 Looks like Scarface sneezed on your car.
好了 各位! All right, everybody!
現在請你們後退 我們接手了 I'm gonna need you all to back up now. We're taking over.
"我在犯罪現場 哈哈哈" "At the crime scene, LOL."
我上圍脖通知一聲 謝謝 Good tweet, good tweet. Yeah, thanks.
美國以資產過剩而出名 America has always been defined by its excess.
大峽谷有多餘的運動員契約 The Grand Canyon, professional sports contracts.
溫蒂漢堡店有多餘的培根 Wendy's Baconator, extra bacon.
我自己有18輛蘭博基尼 I myself have 18 Lamborghinis
還有輛斯巴魯敞篷金龜車 and a Subaru station wagon.
就是因為資產過剩我才能奢侈揮霍 And it's because of this excess that I have flourished.
我懇求你們 不要停止賺取利潤 I implore you, please, do not stop profiting.
過著資產過剩的日子 這才是美國的生活 Live for excess. It's the American way.
你好 Hello.
厄森先生? 您的電話 Mr. Ershon? I believe this call's for you.
我是大衛 Sir David.
大衛 你沒回我電話 David. You're not returning my calls,
我想讓你見見羅傑·韋斯利 so I'd like you to meet Roger Wesley.
你好 夥計 你好 G'day, mate. Hey.
羅傑和他的團隊會監督你 因為我不相信你 Roger and his team are gonna babysit you because I don't trust you,
我知道你會開溜 because I think you're going to take off.
帕米拉 真是荒謬 我哪裏也不會去 Pamela, this is ridiculous. I'm not going anywhere.
大衛 聽著 蘭道季刊在二十六號發行 David, listen, the Lendl quarterlies come out on the 26th.
如果你那時候不還我錢的話 You have until then to give me my money.
我就報告我的損失 大衛 I'm not reporting any losses, David.
我盯上了一個新投資者 I have zeroed in on a new investor.
那麼 你拿走他們的錢 Well, then, you get their money,
然後讓它消失 再付給我們 make it disappear, and then pay us back.
好好 我會告訴他不必盯緊我 Yes, yes, I'll tell him he doesn't need to keep watching me.
大衛! 好了 寶貝 再見 David! Okay, sweetheart, bye-bye.
她反應過度了 女人嘛 所以你可以走了 Yeah. She overreacted. She's a woman. So, you're good to go.
我什麼都聽到了 夥計 Heard everything, mate.
女士們先生們 Ladies and gentlemen,
猜猜是誰告訴了我讓我賺十億元的秘密? guess who gave me the secrets to making my first billion dollars.
這位先生 That man there.
跟上! 跟上! Go! Go!
靠邊 請靠邊 Side! Step aside, please.
你認為我不算警察 是嗎? You don't think I'm a real cop, do you?
不 我面對面跟你說了很多次了 No, I don't. I've said that directly to your face numerous times.
我很坦誠地對你說過了 I was really honest about that.
我在處理大案子 好不好? I'm working on a huge case, all right?
一個名下有七處施工中房屋的地產商 Property owner with seven buildings under construction.
他連一個腳手架批准令都沒有 He hasn't applied for a single scaffolding permit.
根據百度知道 Now, according to Ask Jeeves,
這個嫌疑犯正在廣場酒店演講 this perp is at the Plaza Hotel speaking right now.
這是所謂的大案子? 腳手架批准令? 對啊 That's your big case? Scaffolding permits? Yeah.
知道嗎? 你要和我一起來 Guess what? You're coming with me.
這是把木槍 It's a wooden gun.
很疼啊 That hurts, man!
我總是有小河樂團的歌 I've always got Little River Band loaded up here.
我有六盤歌碟呢 I've got six disks in here.
克洛德 在外面見我 在咨詢台的後面 Claude, meet me outside, at the back of the service entrance.
我要坐新加坡航空 I'm flying Air Singapore.
嘿 道格拉斯 你妻子怎樣? 她死了 Hey, Douglas. How's the wife? She died.
太好了! Attaboy!
兩分鐘後到 I'll be there in two minutes exactly.
還有一件很討厭的事 你總是付零錢 Another thing I hate about you? You always pay in exact change.
你只是嫉妒我的零錢包很好 You're just mad because I have a nice change purse.
你管那麼多幹啥? Why do you even care?
我怎麼能不管? 你知道嗎? 你知道什麼更糟嗎? How can I help it? You know what? You know what's worse?
你放屁的方式 你連放屁都不像個男人 The way you fart. Even your farts, they're not manly.
真是荒謬 You're being ridiculous.
聽起來像小寶寶吹生日蠟燭 They sound like a baby blowing out the candles on a birthday cake.
什麼? 像... What? Like a little...
你知道你有什麼討人厭的地方嗎? 什麼? You know what bugs me about you? What?
我敢肯定你從來沒投過票 I'm pretty sure you've never voted.
不 我有過 體育電台 調頻880 本周最佳運動員 No, I vote. Sports radio, AM 880. Play of the week.
你就像一個穿著皮夾克的小孩 你就是像 You're like a child in a leather jacket. That's what you're like.
別擋路 夥計! Get out of the way, man!
等等 你是大衛·厄森嗎? Wait. Are you David Ershon?
是大衛·厄森先生 我其實也不在意你... Yeah, well, it's Sir David Ershon, but I don't bother with the...
其實 我在趕路 如果你們不介意的話 謝謝 Anyway, little bit of a rush, gentlemen, if you don't mind. Thank you.
對不起 你被捕了 好不好? 什麼? Excuse me, but you're under arrest, okay? What?
你有權保持沉默 你所說的將被... You have the right to remain silent. Anything you do or say can be used
後面是什麼? 用作懸浮設備 What's the next part? As a floatation device.
用作懸浮設備 As a floatation device.
你知道嗎? 挺搞笑的 我還從來沒有抓過人呢 You know what? That's very funny. I have never Miranda-ed anyone before.
真的? 你們動真格的? Really? Are you guys for real?
我是不是撞到鬼了? Am I being punk'd?
艾倫·甘博探員 Detective Allen Gamble.
我們在一輛被可卡因覆蓋的車裏 We are in a cocaine-covered car,
正帶一名嫌犯回去 and we are bringing in a perp.
大衛·厄森 175磅 One David Ershon. 175 pounds.
謝謝 175磅 閉嘴 閉嘴 Thank you. 175 pounds. Shut up, man, shut up!
馬丁和佛西也許在B審訊室 Martin and Fosse are probably on Studio B
和謝伯德·史密斯講話呢 talking to Shepard Smith right now.
我們因為一張腳手架批准令逮捕這個混蛋? We arrest this jerkoff for a scaffolding permit?
等等 你們為什麼逮捕我? Wait, wait, wait, what am I being arrested for?
違反腳手架批准令 For scaffolding permit violation...
我有保險卡的 讓我找找 別激動 夥計 I got my insurance card. Somewhere. Easy, mate.
怎麼回事? 你撞了我們 站在那別動 What the hell? You ran right into us! Stand over there.
木頭? Wood?
搞什麼... What the...
看不到我的車嗎 夠大了 夥計 什麼? Couldn't see the car. It's big enough, mate. What?
別讓他們帶走我 Do not let these men take me.
你好 Hi.
她為什麼這樣看著我? Why's she looking at you like that?
那是我的車! That's my car!
嘿嘿嘿 我們還沒交換保險信息呢 Hey, hey, hey! We didn't exchange insurance information!
嘿 聽到沒! Hey! Excuse me!
他們為什麼拿走我們的鞋? Why did they take our shoes?
怎麼回事? 我的iPhone呢? What the hell just happened? Where's my iPhone?
我覺得我們走過了三十個街區了 夥計 I think we've walked 30 blocks, man.
我不知道為什麼我們不能打給警署 I don't get why we can't just call the office
讓他們送輛車來接我們 and have a squad car come pick us up.
不 他們拿走了我們的鞋 我們的槍 還有我們的車 No. They took our shoes, our guns, and our car.
我可不能讓署裏人知道 There's no way that's going out on the radio.
如果我們要合作 Look, if we're gonna do this together,
有些問題我們必須要解決 好嗎? there's some issues we need to settle, okay?
我說 你說我下巴不明顯 你說我尿尿像個娘們 I mean, you said I had a weak chin. You said the way I pee is feminine.
你覺得我感受如何? How do you think that makes me feel?
我說 你的那個清單 你考慮得挺周到 很奇怪 I mean, that list you have, you put a lot of thought in. It's weird.
我聽到了 I hear you.
我們冰釋前嫌 重新開始吧 Let's clean the slate right now. Fresh start.
好 重新開始 All right. Fresh start.
也許我們應該叫紡必適兄弟 Maybe we should call ourselves the Febreze Brothers,
因為感覺清新舒適 'cause it's feeling so fresh right now.
對嗎? Right?
讓我們再重新開始一次 Let's do another fresh start,
因為我想揍你的臉 'cause I just wanted to punch you in the face.
好 重新開始 Fine, fresh start.
最後一次 It's the last one.
我要能夠表達清楚再和你交談 你知道嗎 I have to be able to express myself and say things, you know.
夥計們 大家都聽好了! 聽好了! Okay, folks! Everybody, listen up! Listen up!
光天化日之下發生了一起綁架案 Got a high profile kidnapping.
大衛·厄森 富有的銀行家 有跨國團隊 David Ershon, wealthy banker, multinational team.
劫持者可能早已埋伏在那 但說不准 Maybe a sleeper cell, but it's too early to tell.
小矮人 你們的鞋呢 腳都黑乎乎的 Hey, Bilbo Baggins. Where are your shoes? 'Cause your feet are black.
誰在乎? 這不是重點 Who cares? It's not important, okay?
霍茲 甘博 頭頭找你們 情況不妙 Hoitz, Gamble, Captain. Not good.
再見 夥計們 再見 Bye, guys. Bye-bye.
過來 Come on.
這是唐·比曼 厄森先生的律師 Guys, this is Don Beaman, the attorney for Mr. Ershon.
羅傑·韋斯利 私人保鏢負責人 Roger Wesley, head of his private security.
嘿 你這賤人! 淡定淡定! Hey, how are you? You son of a bitch! Hey, hey, hey!
特裏 別激動! Hey, Terry! Take it easy!
長官 就是他把我們的槍搶走了 That's the guy who took our guns, Captain.
還有我的鞋 別激動 And my shoes! Wait a minute, wait a minute.
你們表明警察身份了嗎 Did you identify yourselves as police officers?
看這是什麼 What is this?
艾倫 告訴我 你們表明了嗎 沒有 Allen, tell me. Did you? No, we did not.
對不起 先生們 Sorry, gentlemen.
我們以為你們當時在綁架厄森先生 We thought you were abducting Mr. Ershon.
我們只是按規矩辦事 It's only protocol.
厄森先生已經同意補上腳手架事宜 Mr. Ershon has agreed to correct this scaffolding situation.
這事就結了 The case is closed.
所有必要的書面材料已經打理好了 I've taken care of all necessary paperwork.
現在你們應該慶幸 And you fellas, at this point, should just be glad that
厄森先生沒有對你們過度使用武力提起訴訟 Mr. Ershon is not pressing charges for excessive use of force.
謝謝 長官 客氣了 Thank you, Captain. You bet.
你澳大利亞的? Australian?
特種兵? Special Forces, right?
你最好給我小心點 探員 Best watch your step, Detective.
這世界上有三件東西我最喜歡了 There are three things I love in this world.
凱利·米洛(澳大利亞女歌手) Kylie Minogue,
女人的股溝 small dimples just above a woman's buttocks...
的確很好看 Beautiful features.
和即將挨揍的男人眼中的恐懼 ...and the fear in a man's eye who knows I'm about to hurt him.
你蛋疼完了沒 正事辦完了就走 Hey! Shake your dicks. This pissing contest is over.
算了 Come on, man.
看 他們把鞋子還回來了 All right, look, they returned your shoes.
你們的武器也回來了 給你 特裏 And they returned your weapons. Here you go, Terry.
艾倫 有人幫你擦了點亞麻油 Allen, someone was nice enough to put linseed oil on it,
上面粘了類似深核桃木的污漬 some kind of stain on that, dark walnut or something.
你該給他們寫封感謝信 You might wanna think about dropping them a thank you note.
好了 Okay.
你在生我們的氣是吧 吉恩 You're mad at us, huh, Gene?
第一 不要叫我吉恩 我是你們的長官 First off, don't call me Gene. I'm your captain.
你們忘了那個"學聰明點"的演講嗎 Guys, do you remember the "Be Smart" speech?
沒忘 那麼 Sure. All right.
你們是怎麼做的 你們怎麼處理的 Well, what did you do? What'd you do about it?
剛好相反 我們不夠機靈 吉恩長官 The opposite. We were not smart, Captain Gene.
叫我"長官"就好了 It's just "Captain. "
就叫"長官" 不是"吉恩長官" 又不是少兒節目 Just "Captain. " It's not "Captain Gene. " I don't have a kiddie show.
"吉恩長官" 聽著太不給力了 That sounds creepy, "Captain Gene. "
警方錯誤抓捕了投資銀行家大衛·厄森 Police mistakenly arrest investment banker, David Ershon.
他是財務分析結果的受害者嗎 Was he the victim of financial profiling?
財務分析? 太扯了吧 Financial profiling? That's crazy.
明明是他犯了法我們才逮捕他 He broke the law and we arrested him.
那不是他的保鏢 他說"別讓這些人帶走我" That wasn't a security team. He said, "Don't let these people take me. "
當你聽到馬蹄二字 想到的肯定是馬 而不是羊吧 I mean, when you hear hooves, you think horses, not zebras.
為什麼不是牛或者驢呢? What about donkeys or deer?
它們都長蹄子 牛科動物神馬的? They have hooves. What about bovine creatures?
你剛剛是在想 "要有一個新開始"嗎? Were you just thinking to yourself, "Fresh start"?
是的 嗯 我看出來了 Yeah. Yeah. I could see it.
要不去我家吧 Listen, why don't we just go over to my place?
我們好好談談這個案子 We'll talk the case down.
吃個簡單的晚餐 你可以認識希拉 We can have a little dinner. You can meet Sheila.
我倆只是作為警察在吃飯時候談公務好不好? Two cops talking down a case while eating food, all right?
不是神馬晚餐 好吧 It's not dinner. Fine.
我先提前道個歉 And let me apologize in advance, okay,
萬一我老婆表現得跟環球第一賤人一樣 in case my wife acts like a world-class bitch.
她又老又肥 還得瑟得很 She's a big old broad, and she likes to wield it.
我把大衛·厄森的個人資料 Okay, so I put together a little bio,
和照片整理了一下 complete with pictures of Mr. David Ershon.
我用的Adobe視頻軟體 我喜歡週末做點編輯的活 I used Adobe Premiere. I like to do a little weekend editing.
我從"盜亦有道"裏剪了3分鐘的鏡頭 I recently just cut three minutes out of Goodfellas.
大衛·厄森目前是厄森財團的CEO David Ershon is currently the CEO of Ershon Consortium.
是誰在旁白? Who's that talking?
是一個語音應用 只要99美分 It's the Frontline Narration App. It's only 99 cents.
厄森財團目前的金融投資超過了700億美元 Ershon Consortium, current financial investments exceed $70 billion.
他的大客戶包括S-P公司和蘭道公司 His largest clients include Schering-Plough and Lendl Global.
蘭道公司拍了一些不明所以的廣告 Lendl Global has those TV ads where I can't figure out what they do.
是啊 石油 傳媒 社保都有涉及 Yeah, oil, media, health care,
你該知道他們的影響力 you've probably heard their jingle.
蘭道公司 我們無處不在 Lendl Global, we're in everything
大衛·厄森經常在思嘉利亞的公司出現 David Ershon is often found in the company of Judge Scalia...
是啊 還有Maroon 5的領唱 Yeah. ...and the lead singer of Maroon 5.
這人可能跟販毒集團 I mean, this guy could be connected to drug cartels,
黑市器官販賣和人販子有聯繫 black market organ sales, human trafficking, all of it.
你的結論和我剛才說的有關係嗎? How do you get that from anything I just said?
嘿 湯來了 Hey, guys! Soup's on.
什麼意思 What do you mean?
嗨 Hi.
嗨 你肯定是特裏 Hi. You must be Terry.
親愛的 我不該躲著你的朋友 晚飯太折騰了 I'm sorry I've been hiding, honey, but this dinner was tricky.
你是誰? 我是希拉·甘博 他老婆啊 Who are you? I'm Dr. Sheila Gamble, his wife.
說真的 她是誰 他的黃臉婆 Come on, seriously. Who is that? His old lady.
小甜心 我們在工作呢 明白 Sweetie, it's a workstation. Got it.
你衣不蔽體的樣子 太讓人分心了 And you come in here, dressed like a hobo, it's distracting.
我知道你們在工作 對不起 I know you're working. I'm so sorry.
我說真的 真的什麼? Come on, seriously. Come on, what?
她是誰? Who is that?
她是老...她是我的負擔 That's the old...That's the old ball and chain.
啵一個 Get over here.
不 這裏不合適 好吧 Not...Not right now. Okay.
那些都不是考慮的重點 Look, they're not all first-round picks, okay?
你到底說不說她是誰 Come on, are you gonna tell me who that is?
你真的是艾倫的妻子? 我就知道 Are you really Allen's wife? I know.
他信聖公教 我信天主教 People are shocked
別人都不信我們能在一起 because he's Episcopalian and I'm Catholic,
但事實就是這樣 but somehow it works.
你要換身衣服嗎? 我換了啊 Are you gonna change? I already did.
沒關係 你看上去漂亮極了 It's no big deal. You look really, really nice.
特裏 沒必要跟她客氣 她穿得太風塵了 Terry, you don't have to be polite, okay? She looks kind of shitty.
不許你這樣說她 艾倫 Don't speak to her like that, Allen.
如果我把你這身打扮放到潮人應用裏面 Look, if I put that in my Cosmo Fashion App,
你可能不及格 you'd probably get a D-.
艾倫最喜歡開發應用程序了 Allen and his apps. He loves them.
他自己設計了3個應用 有一個...我能說嗎? You know he's designed three of his own? One of them...Can I tell him?
有一個程序 你可以拍任何人的正面 One of them, you can take a picture of anybody's face,
它就會告訴你這個人的後腦勺是什麼樣的 and it'll tell you what the back of his head looks like.
叫人人後腦勺 人人後腦勺 Faceback. Faceback.
已經收到很多誇張的評論了 Got some horrible reviews coming out of the gate.
肯定會火的 很吸引眼球 It's gonna hit. It's gonna catch.
你為什麼跟了艾倫? Why are you with Allen?
不是那個意思 我是說 你倆怎麼認識的? I mean, that's not what I meant. I meant, how did you guys meet?
這是一個典型的邂逅故事 特裏 It's a really typical "how we met" story, Terry.
太乏味了 You're gonna be bored by it.
當時我在尼克斯隊跳舞 I was a dancer for the Knicks
平時是哥倫比亞醫院的實習生 while finishing my residency at Columbia Hospital.
艾倫直腸上起了毒疹 送到急救室 Allen came into the ER with poison ivy on his rectum.
是的 Yes.
不用說 我對他一見鍾情 Needless to say, I fell for him immediately.
我們在快捷酒店翻雲覆雨了3天 We immediately spent the next three days at the La Quinta Inn,
老實說 我們連話都沒說一句 整整3天 and, to be honest, we didn't speak. Three days
一次話都沒說過 of not communicating once verbally.
不知不覺中 We had actually, without knowing it,
我們學會用眼神調情 用身體語言交流 developed a language of eye flutters and non-verbal gestures.
特裏 我們之間有一種原始獸性的衝動 You know, Terry, it was just this primal connection.
經過3天愛意濃濃的 After those three days of non-verbal communication
身體交流 and a whole lot of loving,
我的屁股都抽筋了 我不得不去看醫生 I had to go to a specialist to get my hips realigned.
就像給屁股發育不良的德國牧羊犬 Similar to operating on a German shepherd
做手術一樣 疼死我了 when they have hip dysplasia. Very painful.
特別有意思 像那部電影的情節一樣 It's funny, it's like a scene from that one movie,
我總是忘記名字 always forget the name of it.
梅格·瑞恩演的 就是 With Meg Ryan. Yes.
我不記得梅格·瑞恩在什麼電影裏 I don't remember a movie where Meg Ryan
邂逅過屁股長瘡的男人 meets a guy with poison ivy up his ass.
我想想 我想想 好 I'll think of it. I'll think of it. Okay.
特裏 你呢 有女朋友沒 So, what about you, Terry? Do you have a girl?
以前有 I did, yeah.
我們本要結婚的 但她後來退縮了 事情比較複雜 We were supposed to get married, but she backed out. It's complicated.
特裏朝德裏克·傑特開了一槍 Terry shot Derek Jeter.
閉嘴 艾倫 這是哪輩子的事了 Shut up, Allen. This was before.
沒關係 That's okay.
電影的名字是 "電子情書" She's Got Mail. That's the name of the movie.
對對對 親愛的 That's it! Honey!
湯姆·漢克斯演的? 是的 With Tom Hanks? Right.
還有梅格·瑞恩 梅格·瑞恩 And Meg Ryan. Meg Ryan.
他屁股上可沒長瘡 He didn't have poison ivy up his ass.
他長了的 他真的長了的 Yes, he did. Yes, he did. Yeah.
就長那兒的 Way up there.
特裏 很榮幸你能來我家度過這樣一個... Well, Terry, can't thank you enough for coming by. What a...
一個溫馨美好的夜晚 謝謝 What a wonderful, lovely evening. Thank you.
很高興認識你 特裏 It was so, so nice meeting you, Terry.
是我的榮幸啊 謝謝 It was my pleasure. Thank you.
記住 我只有一個請求 不要讓他受傷 特裏 And remember, all I ask of you is, you don't let him get hurt, Terry.
我每天上班前她都要這麼說 必須的 She tells me that every day before I leave. Yep, I do.
我下樓給他做鮮草莓汁 I come downstairs and I make him his fresh-cut strawberries,
我會說 "小寶貝 不管你今天多忙" and I say, " Listen, my little sugar balls, whatever you do today,
"都不要受傷" "you just don't get hurt. "
是啊 每天早上都說 Yeah. Every morning.
接著我給他看我的咪咪 我說 "它們在等你" And then I show him my breasts, and I say, " These are waiting for you
"等你回家" 就是 "when you get back home. " Right.
特裏 我的胸部不是他見過最大的 You know, Terry, they're not the biggest breasts he's ever seen,
但是它們很神氣 絕不是最大的 but, man, are they perky. Not by a long shot.
它們很堅挺 它們屬於你 你很漂亮 And they are firm, and they are yours. You're a nice lady.
謝謝你能來 Thank you for coming.
霍茲和甘博探員? 霍茲和甘博探員? 完畢 Detectives Hoitz and Gamble? Detectives Hoitz and Gamble? Over.
霍茲在 Go for Hoitz.
我們找到你的普銳斯車了 太好了 We found your red Prius. Great.
它正打算為拉爾夫·內德(活動家)投票 It was trying to vote for Ralph Nader.
得了吧 小寶貝 聽著 Come on. Okay, sugar balls, listen up.
車上肯定有指紋 There's gonna be fingerprints on that car.
明天我們去提取指紋 放進系統檢索 Tomorrow, we're gonna run those fingerprints through the system.
一旦得到匹配結果 And if we get a hit,
案子進展肯定勢如破竹 this case is gonna heat up faster than a junkie's spoon.
明天早上你起床後就做一件事 帶上膽子 You do one thing when you wake up tomorrow, bring it.
好的 謝謝 希拉 Okay. Thank you, Sheila.
他會帶上膽子的 He'll bring it.
晚安 晚安 Good night! Good night.
謝謝你 希拉 Thank you, Sheila.
再見 特裏 再見 希拉 我不會忘記今晚 Bye, Terry! Bye, Sheila! I'll never forget tonight.
再見 特裏 行了 艾倫 回去吧 Bye, Terry! All right, Allen, whatever. Go inside.
再見 希拉 Bye, Sheila!
晚安 再見...再見 特裏 Night! See you...See you, Terry!
再見 希拉 Bye, Sheila.
不知道他聽見沒 再見 特裏 I don't know if he heard me. Bye, Terry!
再見 希拉 Bye, Sheila!
車在這了 他們把它扔在一座天橋下 Well, here she is. They left her under an overpass for the night.
有什麼發現嗎 You find anything?
很多發現 Yeah. We found a lot of stuff.
有體液啊毛髮啊什麼的 From bodily fluid and hair samples,
我們相信有一幫無家可歸的老流浪漢 we determined that a bunch of old, homeless dudes
在車裏開過狂歡晚會 had an orgy in the car.
天哪 節哀吧 Oh, God. Yeah.
你知道他們把這種狂歡叫什麼嗎 You know what that's called when they do that in there?
流動廚房 That's called a soup kitchen.
髒亂差啊 It's pretty rough stuff.
不多久 一隻母浣熊到車裏 Not long after that, a mama raccoon came along
生了仔 and gave birth on the floor.
胎盤都噴到後窗上了 Placenta blew out all over the back window there.
後來 有個小鬼到車裏的駕駛座上 Yeah, and then to top it all off, some joker comes along
拉了一坨有技術含量的屎 takes himself a nifty little dump in the driver's seat.
我猜他知道你們是警察 I think he knew you guys were cops,
因為我把他的便便叫做蓄意報復屎 because this is what I would call a spite shit.
光通過毛髮和體液樣本 You were able to determine all of that
你就能推測處這麼多情節? 當然了 from the hair and fluid samples? Oh, yeah.
指紋呢 你發現指紋了嗎 What about fingerprints? You find any fingerprints?
沒有 什麼指紋都沒有 找到一部手機 Nope, couldn't get a one. Found a cell phone.
是我的 Yeah, that's mine.
有沒有掙扎或搏鬥的痕跡? Any signs of a struggle or spent shells?
沒有 來狂歡的都是自願的 No. Believe me, everybody that was in on this orgy was more than willing.
其實他們還給你留了個便條 In fact, they even left you a note here.
"謝謝你的小帳篷 愛你 瀟灑哥和兄弟們" "Thanks for the F-shack. Love, Dirty Mike and the boys. "
這是在車裏找到的 Here's something we found.
我們找到一打沒刮過的彩票 We found about a dozen unscratched lottery tickets.
沒有指紋神馬的 你看看 No fingerprints or nothing. Check that out.
太遺憾了 Yeah, it's a real shame, you know.
我有台普銳斯 現在成破銅爛鐵了 I got myself a Prius. It's a hell of a machine.
這是我第一輛新車 我以前從沒買過新車 It's my first brand-new car. I've never owned a new car.
還發現一頭鹿的陰道 Found a deer vagina.
什麼? 開始還以為是人的嘴唇 What? Thought it was human lips at first.
我們又仔細看了看 絕對是鹿的陰道 Then we took a closer look. It was definitely a deer vagina.
連"再來一張"都沒有 Not even a free ticket.
我們該怎麼辦? What are we gonna do?
指紋沒提取到 還拿了一堆沒用的彩票 We got no fingerprints, a bunch of losing lottery tickets.
你看 我們被拽下車後有人打了2分鐘的電話 Look at this, there's a two-minute phone call made after we were jumped.
用你手機打的? 秘密撥打的 They used your phone? They ghost dialed.
可能有人在電話那頭監聽 Someone probably sat on it.
厄森被抓時 It could have recorded some of
他們的部分談話可能被錄下來了 their conversation when Ershon got grabbed.
我們必須調查誰接到了那個電話 We gotta hear the other side of that call.
不 沒必要 Nope, no, it's nothing.
沒必要? 沒必要 Nothing? It's nothing.
這是唯一的線索 真沒必要 It's the only lead we have. It's nothing.
你這麼激動幹嘛 Why did you just get super jumpy?
怎麼了? What?
是我前女友 It's an ex-girlfriend, okay?
怎麼了 你倆怎麼回事 What's the matter? What happened with you guys?
沒什麼 哥不想跟她有半毛錢的關係 She was just a bit of a handful, that's it.
艾倫 這是我們唯一的線索 Allen, it's the only lead we have.
要麼查下去 要麼撒手不管 We either go with this or we walk away from this case right now.
好吧 去找她 Fine. Let's go see her.
你好啊 克麗斯汀妮斯 Hello, Christinith.
你好 艾倫 Hello, Allen.
這是我同事 特裏 你好 特萊 That's my partner, Terry. Hi, Telly.
見鬼了我 別緊張 放鬆 Holy shit. Dude. Just relax, relax.
我在高塔音像店等了你4個小時 I waited for you in Tower Records for four hours.
那是13年前的事了 That was 13 years ago.
阿諾·旁姆來啦 阿諾·旁姆來啦 Arnold Palmer alert. Arnold Palmer alert.
誰要喝倫家調製的飲料? Who wants some Arnie Palmies?
親愛的 這杯有伏特加加哦 這杯 Sweetie, this one has the vodky, right here.
放桌上就好了 好滴 Hal, just place it down, please. All righty.
放好了啦 Okay.
我跟你合體的姿勢 都沒有跟別人嘗試過 I did things in bed with you that I haven't done with anyone since.
真的沒有 No.
克麗斯汀妮斯 你老公在 別說了 Christinith, your husband, it's awkward.
沒事 他全知道 Oh, no, he knows all of this.
你太幸運了 就是 You're a lucky dog. It's true.
克麗斯汀 你家很漂亮 Christine, this is a lovely house.
我叫克麗斯汀妮斯 你是傻子還是聾子? It's Christinith. Are you stupid, or are you deaf?
克麗斯汀妮斯 蠢豬! Christinith, you idiot!
到我們家 就得把我老婆的名字叫對了! You come to our house, you get my wife's name right!
什麼? 克麗斯汀妮斯! What? Christinith!
你們如此好客 我們表示很感動 Look, we really appreciate the hospitality.
我們想聽聽你的電話錄音 We'd just love to get the message off your cell phone.
它很有可能關係到一起綁架案 We believe it might give us information regarding a kidnapping.
好啊 我們去廚房吧 我把它放給你聽 Okay. Why don't you come to the kitchen, and I will let you listen to it
別人都不許來 and everyone else stay here.
沒問題 親愛的 來吧 Okay, sweetie. Come on.
電話在那 太好了 謝謝... There's my phone. Great, thank you for...
我恨你 你這賤人! I hate you, you son of a bitch!
你力氣真大 我比你想像的力氣更大! You're so strong. I'm stronger than you will ever know!
我恨你 我恨你 I hate you! I hate you!
你太可愛了 看你這張臉蛋 看你這張臉蛋 You're so adorable. Look at your face. Look at your face.
說 "我耐你" 快說 "我耐你 克斯妮斯" You go, "I wuv you. " Say it. "I wuv you, Cwistinith. "
你可能覺得因為我長了絡腮鬍 所以汗毛很重 You probably think because of the beard that I'm really hairy.
其實我沒有啦 But I'm not.
我刮過的 Shaved.
艾倫! 他沒事的 Allen! He's fine.
問你一個問題 Question.
你想當哪種動物 What would you rather be,
熊還是狗? a bear or a dog?
無所謂 我想當 I don't care. I wanna be
熊狗 一半狗 一半熊那種 a bear dog. Half dog, half bear.
因為熊狗既可以當寵物住在家裏 'Cause that way, I could live in the house
又能夠去小樹林里拉屎 but I still get to make a doodie out in the woods.
艾倫! Allen!
艾倫! 艾倫! Allen! Allen!
這是警方證據 特裏 跑啊! 嘿! This is police evidence. Terry! Let's go! Hey!
你得回來跟我老婆合體! You get back here and you make love to my wife!
艾倫! 艾倫! Allen! Allen!
我想不通 我實在想不通 I don't get it, man. I just do not get it.
克麗斯汀妮斯身材超辣的 I mean, that girl Christinith was seriously hot.
你老婆也讓人噴鼻血 Your wife is crazy hot.
即使旁邊有個巴西人妖 I mean, even that Brazilian security chick,
她還是暗示你"上我吧" she threw you a "Do me" vibe.
你怎麼那麼吸引辣妹? What is it with you and hot ladies?
首先 我老婆是可愛 不是火辣 First off, my wife is cute, but she's not hot.
你腦子裝漿糊了嗎 你老婆那麼性感 Dude, you're insane. Your wife is scalding hot.
你到底聽不聽電話錄音? 聽吧 You wanna listen to this message or not? Yeah, whatever.
你要去辦一件事 You have one job, mate.
找個可憐蟲和你共同投資 Find a sucker to invest with you
這樣你就能把錢還給我老闆了 so you can pay my boss back the money you lost.
我不在乎你找誰 And I don't care who.
對了 我想起來我這有個可憐蟲 Right. I actually think I found a sucker...
他讓厄森...投資320億美元 He's talking to Ershon. ...to invest $32 billion.
誰傻逼兮兮地拿320億讓人搶啊 Who's got $32 billion to rob?
只要我拿到錢 我會纂改數據 Once I get the money, I'll falsify the records
告訴他們損失慘重 再給你的員工付工資 to show their massive losses and then repay your employer.
既然你跟著我 我現在就去公園大道2300號 Now, since you're following me, I need to go to 2300 Park Avenue,
接著... and after that...
我就說他們不是保安 I told you it wasn't a security team.
他被綁架了 明顯的事 但為什麼...暈... He was being abducted. Obviously, but what kind...Holy...
進了我家門 必須跟我老婆合體! Nobody leaves our house without making love to my wife!
是他嗎? 是啊 Is that him? Yeah!
他們從哪兒冒出來的? Oh, my God, they came out of nowhere!
見鬼! 他們追了我們20英里 Holy shit! They chased us 20 miles.
回來 給我回來! 艾倫! You come back here! You get back here! Allen!
公園大道2300號 是彩票公司 2300 Park Avenue. It's the offices of the lottery.
該死 就是我們找到的那些彩票 Holy shit, the lottery tickets we found.
厄森通過發售彩票來彌補他的損失 Ershon is using the lottery money to cover his losses.
320億 一個州的收入啊 $32 billion. That's the state's money.
我們怎麼跟毛奇交代? 有人虧錢了 Well, what do we tell Mauch? A guy lost some money.
我們只有一條粗略的語音信息和一個地址 We have a scratchy cell phone message and an address.
半個案子都不算 It's still half a case.
肯定有書面記錄 There's gotta be some sort of paper trail.
要是能找到 我們可以跟蹤 If we can find that, if we can track it,
然後告訴毛奇這事 then we can go to Mauch.
我調查了厄森的會計公司 So, I did some more research on Ershon's accounting firm,
發現一些有意思的事 and I found some pretty interesting stuff.
G-D會計公司... It turns out that Gretchel and Dawson has...
等等 到我了 Hold on, I'm up.
我把愛獻給了厄琳 I gave my love to Erin
她答應等我 She promised to be true
當我從戰場上回來 I went to war to come back
已經有5個英國士兵 And find five British soldiers
和她有過戀情 Had their way with her
他們互相吸引 It was consensual
唱完了? Done?
G-D會計公司在新澤西州的費爾良 Gretchel and Dawson Accounting Firm in Fair Lawn, New Jersey
只有一個客戶 大衛·厄森 has only one client, David Ershon.
這種手法對他來說太老套了 Pretty rinky-dink operation for a guy like that.
貌似我們該去新澤西拜訪一下會計公司 Looks like we're going to Jersey to visit an accounting firm.
累死人的一天 That's a shitty day.
他們的父親都被吊死 And all their fathers were hanged
所有的孩子哭紅了雙眼 And the children all got pink eye
哈利波特全集丟進火坑 While their Harry Potter books were burned
唱這些歌很有意思嗎? 太壓抑了 Do you have fun singing those songs? They're really depressing.
有意思啊 它們包含了深刻的歷史 I do. They're full of rich history.
靠 我遲到了 該去見我女朋友的 Damn it, I'm late. I was supposed to go meet my lady.
你們不是分手了嗎 I thought you said you guys split up.
我倆之間只談工作行嗎 Let's just keep our thing about work, okay?
好的 再見 兄弟 All right. Goodbye, buddy.
別碰我 Hey, get off me, man.
你在幹嘛呢 What the hell are you doing?
跳舞啊 特裏 你在這幹嘛 I'm dancing, Terry. What the hell are you doing here?
我愛你 弗朗辛 I love you, Francine.
要是你沒和我分手 If you were with me,
你也不用為了錢在這跳脫衣舞啊 you wouldn't be here in this strip club, shaking it for dollar bills!
這是芭蕾排練室 特裏 這裏的鋼管是水平的 This is a ballet studio, Terry. Okay? These poles are horizontal.
他很愛你 弗朗辛 He loves you very much, Francine.
他是誰 你在這幹嘛 艾倫? Who is this guy? What are you doing here, Allen?
我們是同事嘛 It's the code. I'm your partner.
我來挺我的朋友兼工作夥伴的 I'm here to support a friend and a work colleague.
弗朗辛 這個人在騷擾你嗎 Francine, is this guy bothering you?
他是誰 你的新男友嗎? 太好了 你有新男友了 Who's this, your new boyfriend? Great. You got a new boyfriend.
他是我的舞伴 特裏 He is my dance partner, Terry. Okay?
我知道這對你來說是個驚喜 I know that this is a big surprise,
但是除了當警察 世界上還有很多別的事可做 but there are other things in the world besides being a cop. Okay?
如果你沒別的事的話 我要跳舞了 Now, if you will excuse me, I'm gonna dance.
怎麼 你覺得我不會這玩意麼 What, you don't think I can do this shit?
太出乎意料了 特裏 That was surprisingly good, Terry.
我愛你 弗朗辛 你不懂什麼叫愛 I love you, Francine. You don't know what love is.
他很愛你 弗朗辛! He loves you very much, Francine!
他說話我聽得見 謝謝你 I heard it when he said it. Thank you.
你看你怎麼對我的嗎? 你森森地割裂了我的心 You know what you're doing to me? You're killing me inside.
別瞪我 死人! And don't eyeball me, man!
你就跟這麼磕磣的癮君子眉來眼去嗎? You're running around with this crack-dealing drug addict?
特裏! Terry!
他對你的行為很失望! He does not approve of your behavior!
你可以走了 Can you please go?
你也是 站門口那神經病! And you, too, creepy guy standing in the door?
走吧 艾倫 Let's go, Allen.
我們今天都跳了一場自己的芭蕾 I think we all experienced our own ballet today.
飽含情緒的芭蕾 The ballet of emotion and feelings.
你是來煽風點火的 You're kind of making things worse.
沒事吧? 沒事 You okay? Yeah, I'm fine.
我不知道你居然會跳舞 Hey, I didn't know you could dance.
我小時候學的舞步 去取笑別人 We used to do those dance moves to make fun of guys when we were kids,
給他們看這些舞步是多可笑 show them how queer they were, okay?
你學跳舞是為了諷刺別人啊? 我想是的 You learned to dance like that sarcastically? Yeah, I guess.
別摻和我的私人生活行嗎? 小孩的心思你不懂 Stay out of my personal life, okay? The kid flies private.
專注這個案子吧 明天新澤西見 Stay focused on the case, man. I'll see you in Jersey tomorrow.
好吧 特裏 All right, Terry.
我覺得很釋然 不知道你怎麼想 Hey, that was liberating for me. I don't know how it felt for you.
看這個 6個月以前的文章 Here, check this out. Article from six months ago.
講了彩票業 Talking about how the lottery is looking
投資300億美元的行為過於激進 to invest their $30-billion fund more aggressively.
所以他在販毒? So he's dealing drugs?
跟販毒沒關係 我們不是在拍"邁阿密風雲" No, it's not drugs. This isn't Miami Vice.
對不起 我... Look, I'm sorry. I just...
我今天情緒不好 希拉和我昨晚鬧矛盾了 I am in a bit of a state today. Sheila and I got into it last night.
怎麼了 What happened?
她想去進修機構學一門課 She was interested in taking this class at The Learning Annex, right?
叫"口交的藝術" Called "The Art of Oral Sex"?
我們目前沒有足夠的預算 You know, we just don't have it in the budget right now.
她總是只考慮自己 It's always about her.
是啊...是不應該 Yeah, that's...That's messed up.
我給你準備了一份禮物 Hey, I got you a gift.
我看見它就想到你了 I just saw something, and I thought of you,
我不想搞得很奇怪 and so, I don't want it to be weird.
只是表示友好哈 I just wanted to be nice.
當然很奇怪了 Of course it's weird.
一個成年男人給另一個男人送禮物 It's a grown man giving another man a present.
給你 打開看看 There you go. Open it up.
沒事的 不用謝 It's okay, you're welcome.
我喜歡送人禮物 I like to do things like that.
看它說的什麼 Take a look what it says.
FBI FBI.
女性身體檢查官 Female Body Inspector.
我們都屬於執法系統 You know, because we're both in law enforcement.
都喜歡女人 We both like women.
但我的幽默感很奇怪 病態的幽默 But I got a weird sense of humor. I'm a sick puppy.
我不能看它 看一眼就要笑死過去 I can't look at it. It makes me laugh so hard.
我也是 Me, too.
做得好 很有禮貌 Real nice. You know, it's all class.
好 別再來這套了 Okay. Don't do that shit any more.
相信我 不會了 Yeah, believe me, I won't.
你明白它為什麼搞笑嗎 Do you understand what's so funny about it, though?
因為它寫著FBI 字母一樣 標誌也一樣 'Cause it's the FBI, right? It has the same logo, the same shield.
第一眼看上去 它只是一個寫了"FBI"的馬克杯 And at first glance, you're like, it's just a mug that says "FBI."
但你再看一眼 "女性身體檢查官"? But then at second glance, you're like, "Female Body Inspector"?
太扯了 這都想得出來... Get out of town. This is outrageous...
閉嘴! Shut up!
總有一天 我會越過你的怒火 I'm gonna climb over that anger wall of yours
直達你的內心 one of these days,
那將是我的光榮 and it's gonna be glorious.
我們是不是該告訴毛奇 我們在查這個地方? Shouldn't we tell Mauch that we're going to check this place out?
為什麼? 我們只是調查一下 For what? We're just going to check it out.
我知道 但這是程序嘛 I know, but it's procedure.
特裏表示沉默 Terry answers to no one.
我該幹嘛幹嘛 I do what I do.
哪家會計公司會在週二上午11點關門啊? What accounting firm is closed at 11:00 a. m. On a Tuesday?
這就是個空殼 This is a shithole.
我喜歡爆破 I love bombs.
我聽不見了! 我聽不見了! I can't hear! I can't hear!
我手上起水泡了! There's blood blisters on my hands!
額滴神吶! Oh, my God!
為什麼電影裏的人沒有被炸飛 How do they walk away in movies without flinching
還能安然無恙地路過呢? when it explodes behind them?
不可能! 電影神馬的都是浮雲! There's no way! I call bullshit on that!
當他們乘坐千年鷹號飛離死亡之星時 When they flew the Millennium Falcon outside of the Death Star,
死亡之星就發生了大爆炸 全是鬼扯! and it was followed by the explosion, that was bullshit!
不許你說星球大戰的壞話! 演的都是真的! Don't you dare badmouth Star Wars! That was all accurate!
我要做個核磁共振 I need an MRI.
我要做核磁共振! 我軟組織受傷了 I need an MRI! I've got soft tissue damage.
我的軟組織絕對受傷了 There's no way I don't have soft tissue damage.
消停一下吧 Please stop.
我想蜷縮在女人的懷裏喝奶! I just wanna go somewhere and breastfeed right now!
消防部認為是天然氣洩漏 Fire Department said it was a gas leak,
但不可能 這是定時炸彈 but no way. That was timed.
他們不想殺我們 他們要我們害怕 They didn't wanna kill us, but they wanted to scare us.
是啊 他們成功了 Yeah, well, they succeeded, okay?
我累了 行了吧? I'm tired of this. All right?
我不想再經歷爆炸或被人用槍指著頭了 I'm tired of explosions and people pointing guns at me.
我想坐回辦公桌跟前 I wanna go back to my desk.
你知道嗎? 生活有時就是這樣震耳欲聾 Guess what? Life gets loud sometimes and messes with your ears.
你不能一輩子都躲在辦公桌後面 You can't escape it by hiding at your desk for your whole life.
為什麼不可以? 我已經躲了很多年了 You know what? Yes, you can. I've done it for years, okay?
辦公室裏就沒有爆炸 There's no explosions at my desk.
家裏有豪宅嬌妻 但沒有爆炸 There's no explosions at my home with my plain wife, in my plain house.
你在害怕什麼? What are you afraid of, man?
我是你的搭檔 你可以告訴我 你在害怕什麼? I'm your partner. You can tell me. What the hell are you hiding from?
我那時大二 I was a sophomore in college.
我讀的大學決定增加學費 The university I went to decided they needed to raise tuition.
我一個同學 布蘭達 A classmate of mine, Brenda,
為了籌錢交學費 in an effort to raise money and stay in school,
想到了一個好點子 came up with a nifty plan
就是跟男生約會 問他們要錢 where she thought she'd date guys and charge them money.
我隨時都有約會 I go on dates all the time,
跟不同的男人 with a whole bunch of, you know, boys and stuff.
我需要人幫忙 And I kind of need somebody to help me out,
就是找個搭檔幫我牽線救場 like, you know, my partner in crime.
嗯 我可以安排 Yeah, I could make a schedule.
對對 我也是這麼想的 Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I was thinking.
提供接送服務什麼的 對對 Provide transportation services. Yeah, yeah.
聊天很愉快 感謝你來找我 It's gonna be a good time. Thanks so much for asking me.
她說她要我幫忙 確保約會順利 She said she needed my help to make sure that the dates went okay
男人付給她錢 她答應給我分紅 and that the guys paid her. She said she'd give me a percentage.
天啊 你是個皮條客 什麼? 暈 不是 Oh, my God. You were a pimp. What? God, no.
我只是想幫朋友 No, I was just trying to help a friend.
我們開始掙了很多錢 We started making a lot of money.
沒想到的是 布蘭達的朋友們 And wouldn't you know it, some of Brenda's girlfriends
也想加入這個活動 decided they wanted to be a part of it.
沒過多久 我保護的女孩子有14個之多 Pretty soon, there were about 14 ladies that I was protecting
她們都給我分紅 while they gave me money.
你養了一窩妓女 That's called a stable of whores.
我們決定給我換個名字 We decided I shouldn't use my real name.
於是我起了"蓋特"這名 So we came up with the name "Gator. "
你絕對是皮條客 I'm telling you, you were a pimp.
不是! 你有沒有聽我說話? No! Are you even listening to the story?
總之 有一天我醒來 看著鏡子裏的自己 Anyway, one day, I wake up and I look in the mirror,
發現我討厭自己這副面孔 and I don't like what I see.
我已經無法掌控局面 而我都沒有意識到 I mean, I had gotten out of control, and I didn't even realize it.
在皮條客那行沒有良心可言 You can't have a conscience in the pimp game.
一天晚上 我最喜歡的兩個女孩 One night, two of my favorite girls,
凱蒂和卓琳說 "加入我們吧" Candy and Jolene, said, "We gotta take you in,"
接著她們把我丟在了急救室 and they dropped me off at the emergency room.
我就在那遇見了希拉 那時我很狼狽 That's where I met Sheila. I was a mess.
我給自己和她許諾 I made a promise to myself and to her
再也不能讓人生失控 that I would never get out of control again.
所以 我一畢業 So, as soon as I graduated from college,
就做了警察局的會計 I became an accountant for the police department.
我能想到的最穩定的工作 The most stable job I could think of.
管社會治安的會計 An accountant for law and order.
我再也不想體驗被生活操縱的日子了 I just don't wanna ever feel out of control like that ever again.
別擔心 哥支持你 Don't worry. I got your back.
我們去找厄森 看他什麼反應吧 Now I say we go get in Ershon's grill and see if he cracks.
我不想再躡手躡腳地查案了 好 I'm tired of all this tippy-toeing around. Okay.
要麼從木板上走過去 要麼脫褲子 You can either walk the plank or take your panties off.
你選一個 The choice is yours.
我選脫褲子 I want to take my panties off.
真聰明 You've made a wise choice, you have.
厄森先生 甘博探員 Mr. Ershon, Detective Gamble
和槍擊德裏克·傑特的那人來了 and the officer who shot Derek Jeter are here.
請進 先生們 Gentlemen, please.
記得我們嗎 帥哥? 當然記得 請坐 Remember us, hotshot? Of course I do. Please, sit.
看她爆炸了 There she blows.
兩杯伏特加 不要青檸 只要酸黃瓜 Two of those Russian waters, please. No lime wedges, just cucumber.
猜我們從哪兒來? 你的會計公司爆炸了 Guess where we just came from? An explosion at your accounting office.
是啊 該死的天然氣洩漏 Yes, that awful gas leak.
天然氣洩漏? Gas leak?
你口臭洩漏還差不多 The only gas leak is the one coming out of your mouth right now.
我只能感謝上天沒人受重傷 I just thank God no one was hurt or injured in a bad way.
我憎恨死亡 I absolutely abhor death.
得了吧 耶穌 別裝了 Hey, Andrew Lloyd Webber. The jig is up, okay?
我們知道抓你的人並非你的保安 We know that wasn't your security team that grabbed you.
也知道你想引大魚上鉤來彌補損失 And we know you're targeting a big fish to cover losses.
你再胡說 我就打得你鼻青臉腫 You talk or I beat you so it don't show no bruises.
這杯水太好喝了 特裏 God, this water is good. Terry,
你喝了嗎? 閉嘴 艾倫 have you tried the water? Shut up Allen
我向你保證 我完全不知道你們在說什麼 I assure you I have no idea what you're talking about
我知道腳手架這攤子事 I understand there was a bit of a mix-up
有一點混亂 with the whole scaffolding business.
這塊黃瓜讓這瓶水更加... The cucumber accents the water in such a way that...
為了表示我的歉意 Perhaps by way of apology,
我可以送你們尼克斯隊比賽的前排座位 I can offer you my personal courtside seats
還有大使俱樂部的通行證 for the Knicks game, with access to the Ambassador Club.
加油 尼克斯隊 加油 Come on, Knicks! Come on!
我對尼克斯的狂熱 是很有感染力的 I got Knicks' fever and it's catching!
嘿 我覺得坐到這裏很奇怪 感覺像是賄賂 Hey. This feels weird sitting here. It feels like it's a bribe.
是賄賂 狗仔子 我看到前場票 就沒多想了 It is a bribe. Son-of-a-bitch, I saw courtside and I went blind.
走吧 come on
打給我 call me
抱歉 你耍得什麼把戲 Excuse me. That was a trick.
別再玩了 No more
先生們 你們要選 媽媽咪呀還是澤西男孩 Gentlemen, you have a choice. Mamma Mia or Jersey Boys.
太棒了 難以置信 Fantastic! You're so unbelievable!
該死 他又耍了這招 Damn it. He did it again.
不好意思 不要再給票了 Excuse me. No more tickets.
厄森先生 我試過讓他們在休息室等 Mr. Ershon, I tried to keep them in the waiting room.
沒事 蘇珊 兩杯冰川礦泉水 加地中海青檸 That's okay, Susan. Two Glacier waters with Mediterranean limes.
不 不 不用 不用水 我們不是來喝水的 No, no, no. No more water. We're not here for that.
不 我倒是很想要杯水的 No, I was very much looking forward to having a water.
澤西男孩很棒吧? 不是棒 太美妙絕倫了 How great is Jersey Boys? It's not great. It's fantastic!
你絕對賤賣了 那壯麗的場景 服裝 You totally undersold it. The pageantry, the costumes.
哇哦 正翻了的音樂劇 Wow, what a musical.
嘿 過來 Hey. Get over here.
你怎麼回事? 什麼? What's wrong with you? What?
我們來這裏不是聊這個的 That's not what we're here for.
我們來唱白臉 黑臉 好嗎? We're gonna do good cop, bad cop. Okay?
既然是書中記載中最古老的方法 肯定會有用 It's the oldest game in the book for a reason, it works.
我來硬的 然後你再參與進來 I come strong, then you come in.
明白嗎? 明白 You got it? Yeah.
我來硬的 然後你參與進來 對 明白 I come strong, then you come in. Right. Got it.
你給我聽著 你個雜種 Now you listen to me, you piece of shit.
就我們倆的事 我要把你撕個粉碎 It's just you and me, and I'm gonna rip you apart!
你是怎麼掩蓋你的損失的? How did you cover your losses up?
你為哪個毒品巨頭賣命? What drug cartel are you working with now?
好吧 我要和你說 你比較理智 不 看著我 Okay, I'll talk to you, you're reasonable! No, no, look at me!
你想和我說? 你想和我說? You wanna talk to me? You wanna talk to me?
艾倫 你在幹嗎? 你在幹嗎? 艾倫 Allen, what are you doing? What are you doing? Allen!
我讓你吃屎 I'm gonna make you eat a plate of human shit!
給我滾開 Get away from me!
他在哪? Where is he?
聽著 我真的很抱歉 Look, I'm really sorry about that.
我看到你那麼有攻擊性 我想 I saw how aggressive you were being, and I thought,
"哇 我要做得更狠才行 "Wow, I gotta go even bigger than that,
"因為我們在唱黑臉 黑臉" "since we're doing bad cop, bad cop. "
什麼? 不是 我是說 What? No, I said,
"白臉 黑臉" 我是黑臉 你是白臉 "Good cop, bad cop. " I'm the bad cop, you're the good cop.
好吧 事情都這樣了 Okay, then there it is.
算了 我以為你說黑臉 黑臉 That's it. I thought you said, "Bad cop, bad cop. "
好吧 當你發瘋那會 看看我從他桌上拿到什麼 Well, while you were going crazy, look what I snagged from his desk.
我想這是他的電話清單 不錯 Think it's his phone sheet. Nice.
七個打給彩票辦公室的電話 Seven calls to the lottery office.
這可能是我們破毛奇案的證據 That could be the evidence we need for Mauch.
退後 哥倫比亞毒梟 你從哪把他們招來的? Get back. Colombian drug lords. Where are you getting that from?
老天 Jeesus
如果你沒有打傷傑特 你的事業還不飛黃騰達? Can you imagine where you'd be in your career if you hadn't shot Jeter?
我們惹來的 對吧? We call this in, right?
看來我們已經拿到所有證據了 Looks like we got all the evidence we need.
抱歉 我的小蝴蝶 I'm sorry, my butterfly.
我們把他們裝上車 把他們送回去 We'll load them up, send them back to go.
我靠 什麼? Holy shit. What?
你什麼意思? 什麼? 我們在哪? What do you mean, what? Where are we?
我們在沙漠 We're in the high desert.
他們又拿走我的鞋子 他媽的拿我鞋幹嗎? They took my shoes again, man! What the hell is it with taking shoes?
他們拿走了你的木槍? 是的 They took your wooden gun? Yeah.
喂? 喂 吉恩嗎? 我是說 長官 Hello? Hello, Gene? I mean, Captain.
長官 我是艾倫·甘博 Captain, it's Allen Gamble.
是 是 你在哪? 發生什麼事了? Yeah, yeah. Where are you? What's going on?
長官 這說來話長了 但是我長話短說 Captain, it's a long story, but I'm just gonna cut to the chase.
我們在拉斯維加斯 好嗎? We are in Las Vegas, all right?
我們被綁架了 We were kidnapped,
被放在一輛貨運火車 然後運到這了 put on a freight train, and shipped out here.
你就給我說到這 別給我扯蛋 Let me just stop you right there. Don't bullshit me.
長官 我就和不你繞彎子了 Captain, I am being straight with you.
聽著 我們認為有事發生 好嗎? Look, we think something's going on, okay?
我們認為厄森想通過彩票來掩蓋他的損失 We think Ershon is targeting the lottery to cover his losses.
慢著 我明白地告訴過你幾次 "別查厄森"? Wait. How many times did I explicitly say to you, "Lay off Ershon"?
特裏 長官想知道 Terry, Captain wants to know
他告訴過我們幾次別查厄森了 how many times has he asked us to lay off of Ershon.
兩次 Twice.
兩次 特裏說兩次 我同意 Twice. Terry says twice. I agree.
我要掛了 我無話可說 I'm hanging up. I'm done.
我跟你說 我手一摸到牌 I gotta tell you, I started getting a hand for that,
牌九的感覺立馬來了 a taste for that Pai Gow.
馬丁和佛西 超級警察 三 二 Martin and Fosse, super cops, in three, two...
我們暴打那個垃圾 拿回了7萬4的鑽石 7萬4呀 So, we busted that junkie. Got back 74 thou in diamonds. 74 thou.
破了卡斯蒂的案子 Solved the Castien case.
7萬4? 你就拿回這些? $74,000? That's all they took?
那裏有上百萬的鑽石 There's millions of dollars of diamonds in that place.
這樣吧 甘博? 你閉上你的臭嘴行嗎? How about this, Gamble? How about you shut your face?
好嗎? 閉嘴 All right? Just shut it.
霍茲 甘博 長官找你們 Hoitz, Gamble, Captain's looking for you.
我知道跑題了 但是凱夫拉爾有版權嗎? I know it's off the subject, but is Kevlar copyrighted?
長官? 是 Captain? Yeah.
我來的不是時候嗎? 不 進來 進來 Is it a bad time? No, come on. Come on.
我不用 對嗎? 是 還有你 Not me, right? Yeah, and you.
夥計們 我想你們一定認識 Fellows, I'm sure you're familiar
受人尊敬的拉德福檢查官 with the venerable DA Radford.
他屈尊來拜訪我們 He wanted to come down and pay us a visit.
你好 先生們 Hello, gentlemen.
你好 先生 嘿 Hello, sir. Hey.
我在和吉恩討論 他比較喜歡長官這個稱呼 You know, I was talking to Gene here. He prefers "Captain. "
是 我在和吉恩討論 你知道 有意思的 Yes, I was talking to Gene here, and, you know, it's funny.
我不知道你們捅了什麼簍子 I don't know what you two have been up to,
但我一直接到一些從未打電話給我的人的電話 but I've been getting calls from people I don't ever get calls from.
我呆在執法部門40年 我學到了一樣東西 In 40 years of enforcing the law, I've learned one thing.
當這種事發生的時候 就停手吧 When that happens, stop.
吉恩 你家人怎麼樣? 很好 謝謝你關心 Gene, how's the family? Good, good, Louis, thanks for asking.
我兒子是雙性戀 所以... 很棒啊 My son's bisexual, so... Tremendous.
先生 我們瞭解雙方的立場了嗎? Gentlemen, do we understand each other?
別再多管閒事 會的 Cut the crap! Will do.
一個從來沒有來過這的人 Guy never comes down here.
二十年 我想我只在這棟大樓裏見過他一次 Twenty years, I think I've seen that guy in this building one time.
他是個重要人物 那個人 他就坐在這 He's a heavyweight cat, that guy. He was sitting right here.
是的 我想重點不是這個 不管怎麼樣 聽著 Yeah. I think you missed the point. Anyway, look.
巡警在哈德遜河下游找到你們的槍 Blue and white found your firearms down by the Hudson River.
給你 特裏 Here you go, Terry.
這樣吧? You know what?
這把木槍我扣下了 I'm gonna hang on to the wooden gun.
把真槍還給我? 不 To give me back my real gun? No.
因為我要給你這個 'Cause I'm gonna give you this.
是把哨子 當你碰上麻煩 就吹這個 It's a rape whistle. You blow that if you run into any trouble
有真槍的人會過來幫你 and someone with an actual gun will come and help you out.
我們被劫持了 長官 這是真的 We were abducted, Captain! This shit is real!
厄森有問題 他的目標是彩票 Ershon's dirty. He's targeting the lottery!
接下來 我要你們 Next, I want you guys to hand in
把你們認為的所有證據交給證監會 all the evidence you think you have to the SEC.
金融部分是他們裁決的範圍 The financial district's under their jurisdiction.
你還不明白嗎? 這個案子是我們管的 Don't you get it? This case is talking to us!
我是只孔雀 長官 你這次得讓我飛一下吧 I'm a peacock, Captain! You gotta let me fly on this one!
你知道嗎 特裏? 我們別爭了 孔雀不飛 You know what, Terry? Let's just settle this. Peacocks don't fly.
他們就飛那麼一點 是 像企鵝那樣 They fly, they fly a little bit. Yeah, about as much as a penguin.
還有個事 幫我個忙 別逞能 One more thing, do me a favor, don't go chasing waterfalls.
是意外嗎 還是你只有意引述TLC的歌? Was that accidental, or were you trying to quote TLC on purpose?
我都不知道你在說什麼 I don't even understand the reference.
你不知道你說了什麼? 我不知道那是什麼 You don't understand what you said? I don't know what that is.
出去 好吧 Get out. Go.
他們怎麼知道這事的? How did they get that story?
我真是煩透了被當做弄巧成拙的笨蛋了 I'm tired of being treated like a jerk for trying to do the right thing.
嘿 夥計們 Hey, guys.
有一個退休金的大型再投資項目的代理投票 There's a proxy vote for a big reinvestment of the pension coming up,
如果你們想過老... 去你的 鮑勃 so if you just wanna come by the old... Damn it, Bob!
我問你件事 Let me ask you something.
除了打斷別人 你還會幹點別的事嗎? What do you even do around here besides interrupt people?
好吧 我是工會的財務主管 Well, I serve as treasurer to the union.
我煮了一壺無咖啡因咖啡 I make a wicked pot of decaf.
正是 你一無是處 Exactly! You're a worthless piece of shit!
也許沒錯 特裏 這就是為啥我總是很難過的原因 Probably right, Terry. That's why I feel so sad all the time.
我出去走走 I'm gonna go for a walk.
鮑勃 說點什麼 Bob! Say something.
回來 鮑勃 Come on! Bob!
我不是那個意思 好嗎? 我很生氣 I didn't mean it, all right? I'm upset.
其實 我們不放在這 這是一個安裝的藝術品 Actually, we don't do that here. This is an installation art piece.
這個咖啡桌? 是的 我們不在這上面放飲料 This coffee table? Yes. We don't put drinks on it.
50萬? 他看得懂 恭喜 Five hundred thousand? He can read! Congratulations.
什麼? 抱歉 你來對地方了嗎? What? I'm sorry, are you in the right place?
還是走錯了? 我... Or not? I'm...
特裏 他...好吧 Terry. Does he... Okay.
好吧 對不起 特裏 你來這幹嗎? Well... Sorry. Terry! What are you doing here?
我想和你在一起 不 特裏 這不可能 I want to be with you. No, Terry, that's not gonna happen.
你知道你屬於哪裏 波克山 躺我的身上 You know where you belong. On top of me in the Poconos.
而現在 你卻在這賣這個髒不拉嘰的咖啡桌? Instead, you're here selling dirty coffee tables?
我是說 看看 這東西不知所謂 I mean, look at this. This is nonsense!
特裏 這裏哈弗菲爾德-詹姆森的原作 Terry, this is an original Haverfield-Jameson.
混亂的咖啡桌? 表示我們破碎的自尊 The chaos of the coffee table? It represents our fractured egos.
你認為我不認識這個假裝藝術家的拉圾? You think I don't know about this artsy-fartsy crap?
這個咖啡桌不是什麼勞什子的自尊 This coffee table isn't the ego.
它表示在資本主義主導的與世隔絕的面前 It represents our shattered sense of community
我們大眾亂七八糟的品味 in the face of capitalist-driven isolation.
看起來像是辛迪·謝爾曼 Looks like the work of Cindy Sherman
或是弗蘭克·斯特拉的作品 or Frank Stella.
你怎麼知道這個 特裏? How did you know that, Terry?
我在羅德島設計學院上了幾堂課 I took some classes at RISD
這樣我可以取笑我鄰居那些差勁的假藝術家 so I could make fun of these lame artsy douches in my neighborhood.
特裏 聲音小點 我幹嗎要說小點 Terry, lower your voice! I don't have to lower my voice.
這個男人在騷擾你? Is this man bothering you?
你和這個討厭鬼上床了 Are you actually having sex with this creep?
特裏 他是同志 好不? Terry, he's gay. Okay?
他甚至穿了件 "我是同志"的T恤 He's even wearing a T-shirt that says, "I'm gay"!
好嗎? 還有 他是我老闆 All right? And also, he is my boss.
為你高興 小子 好吧 Happy for you, man. Good.
你現在可以走開嗎? 我在和我的女人說話 Can you get out of here now? I'm talking to my lady.
瑞格先生 沒事的 特裏正要走了 Mr. Reger, everything is fine. Terry is actually leaving now.
嘟嘟得不錯 水手 老天 Nice toot, sailor. Jesus.
特裏 你在幹嗎? Terry, what are you doing?
聽著 為了讓你事業有所發展 我等了你三年 Look, I waited three years for you to be more than a cop, okay?
再多給我一年 Just give me one more year.
特裏 沒有再一年了 我們完了 Terry, you don't get another year. I'm done.
好吧 Fine.
特裏 別碰那個 特裏 哦 我的天啦 Terry, don't touch that! Terry! Oh, my God!
我不需要這破玩意 我不需要你 I don't need this shit. I don't need you!
還有你再打給我 我也不會回來 And when you call me, I'm not coming back!
哦 小子 好正的1號哦 好男人喲 Oh, boy! Over the top! How outr?
我要把這破玩意燒成粉碎 I'll burn this bitch down to the ground!
有生氣 有活力 我喜歡他的直接 Fresh! Energetic! I love his rawness!
別評價我了 好嗎? 我是個人 我不是件藝術品 Stop critiquing me, okay? I'm a human being! I'm not a piece of art!
是的 你是的 好哇 Yes, you are. Bravo!
我是飛越彩虹的孔雀 I'm a peacock flying into a rainbow!
是的 是的 Yes! Yes!
這個燉牛小排嘗起來像狗屁股 These braised short ribs taste like a dog's asshole.
寶貝 你知道嗎 我坐在這裏想 Sweetie. You know what, I'm sitting here thinking,
這個世界有誰會慢慢燉狗屁股 "Who in the world would slow roast a dog's asshole
給他們的老公吃? "and serve it to their husband?"
你會的 你太可怕了 怎麼了? You would. You are being awful. What's wrong?
長官不讓我們查那個案子 我很遺憾 Captain took us off the case. I'm sorry.
我告訴特裏我在大學的黑暗日子 I told Terry about my dark days in college,
讓我感觸良多 and it brought up some feelings.
好吧 親愛的 那是很久以前了 Well, honeydick, that was a long time ago.
你已經不是之前那個你了 You're not that same person you were.
不 你還不明白 我內心有個惡魔 No, you don't get it. There is a darkness inside of me.
它想出來 出來走走 It wants to get out. It wants to walk around.
它想四處遊蕩弄點錢 想買些鞋子 It wants some walking around money, and it wants to buy some shoes.
它想要和人們邊走邊說 And it wants to walk up with the people and say,
"嘿 蓋特不是說著玩的" "Hey, Gator don't play no shit. "
你明白嗎? 是的 You feel me? Yeah.
蓋特從不會這樣 從不會說著玩的 Gator never been about that, never been about playing no shit.
寶貝 對不起 沒事 Sweetie, I'm sorry. It's okay.
我只是... 記得我們相遇的那個晚上嗎? I just... Remember that night we met?
主治醫生告訴我 The attending physician told me,
"後院有個嗑藥的皮條客" "We got a drugged-out pimp in the back. "
我去到後院 打開窗簾 And I went back there, and I pulled open that curtain,
你脆弱 害怕 You were weak, scared,
糟透了 發炎 傷心地哭著 ass up, inflamed, crying.
那時候 我知道 At that moment, I knew.
"嘿 他不是皮條客 皮條客才不哭呢" "Hey, he's no pimp. Pimps don't cry. "
皮條客不哭 Pimps don't cry
不 他們不會 No they do not
他們不會流淚 They don't shed a tear
皮條客才不哭 Pimps don't cry
他們不會流淚 They never shed a tear
我們去床上躺躺 Come lay with me.
會讓你有安全感 我們來做愛 來吧 Be safe, and let's make love. Come on.
每次你說安全感 都讓我傷心欲絕 Every time you say, "Be safe," it tears me apart.
你得讓我成為我要成為的人 You gotta let me be who I'm gonna be.
艾倫 我懷孕了 Allen, I'm pregnant.
是誰的孩子? Whose baby is that?
是哪個男人把你肚子搞大的? Who's the man who did that to you?
蓋特的女人都會用套子 Gator's bitches better be using jimmies!
對不起 看我都說的什麼啊 I'm sorry. See, that's what I'm talking about.
哦 老天 Oh, my God.
你走吧 You need to leave.
滾 滾出去 艾倫 滾出去 Get out! Get out, Allen! Get out!
嘿 Hey
嘿 你在這幹嗎? Hey. What are you doing here?
我有女人的問題的時候就來這 Come here when I have lady troubles,
也就是說我每晚都來這 which means I come here about every night.
你在這裏幹嗎? What are you doing here?
希拉今晚和我吵了一架 Sheila and I got into it tonight.
她把我趕出來了 She threw me out.
好吧 直到你老婆把你踢出家 Well, you're not a cop
你都不是個警察 老兄 till your wife throws you out of the house, partner.
你在意卡斯蒂搶劫案 Does it bother you that the Castien robbers
只帶走了七萬四的鑽石嗎? only took 74 grand in diamonds?
他們是垃圾 誰在乎? 我是說 They're junkies. Who cares? I mean...
不過 我不知道一個垃圾會不會降低標準 I don't know if a junkie can go down a 20-story zipline, though.
你們兩個怎麼樣? How are you going?
我們準備在那台紅色普銳斯裏搞個小派對 We're about to have us a little screw party in this red Prius over here
如果你們願意加入的話 if you wanna join us.
別靠近那台普銳斯 好嗎? You're not going anywhere near that Prius, okay?
我們的意思是 一群髒兮兮的 Here's what we're talking about. We're talking about a bunch of hobos
無業遊民 with fingers in each other's pooper
在陌生人的車子裏大聲放廣播 in a stranger's car with talk radio playing really loud.
今晚會很不錯 It's gonna be a nice evening.
好吧 我們不參加 我們沒興趣 Well, we're not participating in that. We have no interest.
我再說一遍 Let me rephrase it.
我們有一罐老芥茉醬 一隻卷毛狗 We got a jar of old mustard, and we got a poodle,
我們過去 然後在上面畫些"D" "A"什麼的 and we're just get in there and we're gonna put some D's in some A's.
嘿 你們是瀟灑哥和他的兄弟們嗎? Hey, are you Dirty Mike and the boys?
你咋知道我們是誰? 你在車內留了張紙條 How do you know who we are? You left a note in that car.
警察 笨蛋 他是警察 我們馬上走 快呀 Police, shithead. He's a copper. We gotta go. Come on!
嘿 快點走 小子們 他們是條子 Hey! Goose it, boys! They're cops!
跑的時候 在那車上搞點破壞 Rub your dicks on the car as you're running away!
你把我漂亮的普銳斯車變成災難 You turned my beautiful Prius into a nightmare!
我們會在你車上做愛 還會再發生的 We are gonna have sex in your car! It will happen again!
我不知道我今晚要睡哪 I don't know where I'm gonna sleep tonight.
幸運的是 我知道我們要去哪喝酒 Fortunately, I know where you're gonna be drinking.
萬事通 我請客 走吧 Jack of All Trades. Drinks on me. Come on.
不 我已經有瓶啤酒了 不 不 不 不 No, I already have a beer. No, no, no, no.
我說的是真的喝酒 I'm talking about doing some serious drinking.
和特裏·霍茲喝酒 Drinking with Terry Hoitz.
真不爽 兄弟 我們查這個案子屁滾尿流 This sucks, man. Work our ass off on this case,
現在我們要交出所有證據? now we gotta hand over all of our evidence?
是 是不爽 Yeah, it's not right.
哦 老天 我宿碎 Oh, my God, I'm hungover.
所以 你們是執法部門? So, you guys are law enforcement?
是 我們是獨立政府部門 Yeah, we're an independent government agency who,
隸屬於FBI和美聯儲 along with the FBI and the Federal Reserve,
管理股票市場和企業欺詐 regulate the stock market and corporate fraud.
這個美聯儲是一所監獄? And the Federal Reserve is a prison?
不 它是一家設定利率和貸款給其它銀行的 No, basically, it's a held-for-profit bank that sets interest rates
盈利性銀行 and loans money to other banks.
那是垃圾桶嗎? 是的 就在這 Is that a wastebasket? Yeah, right there.
謝謝你 Thank you.
你沒事吧? 老天呀 You all right? Holy hell!
真的很抱歉 I'm so sorry.
我昨晚喝太醉了 I got so drunk last night.
我想我把一管牙刷當成太空人食物 I think I thought a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food.
進來吧 兄弟們 Come on in, fellas.
開玩笑吧 你是厄森的律師 You gotta be kidding me. You're Ershon's lawyer.
我們把我們的調查資料給你? We're turning over our investigation to you?
我向你們保證 我和大衛·厄森之間 Let me assure you there will be no conflict of interestewx
沒有利益衝突 between me and David Ershon.
如果有實質性的調查 And if this were an actual investigation,
我會立即避嫌退出 I would immediately recuse myself.
這是我們所有的證據 This is all the evidence we have,
我真心希望你能認真對待 and I truly hope you take this seriously.
是 會的 Yes. Very much so.
據我所知 我瞭解到 From everything I've heard, I understand
你們在此類調查上是最棒的 you guys are the best at these types of investigations.
除了安然和美國國際集團 Outside of Enron and AIG
還有伯納德·麥道夫 and Bernie Madoff,
世界電訊 貝爾斯登 雷曼兄弟 WorldCom, Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers.
好的 謝謝你 謝謝你 探員 Okay. Thank you. Thank you, Detective.
你要不要坐下 還是你站著? 我站著就好 Would you like a seat, or you're fine? No, I'm good.
好吧 我向你們保證 Okay. Let me just assure you fellas,
大衛·厄森是一個正直的公民 David Ershon is an upstanding citizen.
我今晚還要和他在俱樂部打壁球 I am playing squash with him tonight at the club,
我們還要吃晚餐呢 and we're having dinner.
你給我聽著 你們這些標榜貴族的猴子 You listen to me, you Windsor knot-wearing monkey,
你和厄森一起打壁球 對嗎? you play squash with Ershon, right?
你小孩和他小孩上同一間學校? Your kids go to school with his?
你怎麼知道他是不是清白? How would you know if he's clean or not?
我會看看你們的證據 I will take a look at your evidence,
另外我會再查一下財務狀況 and I will take a second look at the financials.
我再回來找你麻煩的時候 And when I come back and bust your ass,
我們會把大衛·厄森關進美聯儲 we're locking David Ershon in the Federal Reserve!
他還是不明白這個觀念 He still doesn't understand the concept.
你在幹嗎? What are you doing?
我們剛剛把我們所有的證據 We just handed all of our evidence over
都交給那個壞蛋的律師 to the bad guy's lawyer!
你是個大人嗎 嗯? Are you a big man, huh?
我在和你說話 什麼? I'm talking to you. What?
你清早起來 你說 You wake up in the morning, you say,
"我要穿上大男孩的褲子?(比喻他幼稚) "I'm putting on my big boy pants"?
"看 我繫了皮帶 "Look, I'm wearing a belt!
"我穿上了我男孩的褲子" 不是 "I've got big boy pants on!" No!
你借一件小夾克 你去呀? You borrow a little jacket, you go?
就因為你穿了大男孩的褲子 所以你吃午餐? You take your lunch 'cause you got big boy pants on?
你有了大男孩的褲子 還有你的食物? You got your big boy pants and your snack?
我可以大聲 狂吼地說 I could say big, loud things!
我可以表達感情 I could be demonstrative!
停下來 我們不是 我們不是這樣做的 Stop! We don't, we don't do this!
你嚇壞我了 兄弟 停下來 You're scaring the shit out of me, man! Stop it!
你就是這麼控制自己的? 在民主社會? Is this how you conduct yourself? In a democracy?
你到底在幹嗎 兄弟? What the hell are you doing, man?
我只是受夠了你總是生氣 亂吼亂叫 I'm so tired of you getting angry and yelling all the time.
我沒精力了 It's exhausting.
我覺得我是綠巨人的搭檔 I feel like I'm partners with the Hulk.
你想知道我為什麼總是生氣嗎? You wanna know why I'm so angry all the time?
因為我越是想做對的事 我越會搞砸 'Cause the more I try and do right, the more I screw things up.
世界金融中心3號23樓有疑似跳樓的人 We've got a possible jumper at 3 World Financial Center, 23rd floor.
所有部門 火警部門 馬上過去 All units, fire department, en route.
證券交易會 比曼的辦公室 SEC. Beaman's office.
我們得過去 We have to go.
但是長官 我們得過去 艾倫 But the Captain. We have to go, Allen.
所有部門 我需要回應 All units, I need a respondent.
世界金融中心3號 疑似跳樓者 Possible jumper, 3 World Financial Center.
靠 是比曼 Shit. It's Beaman!
他一定知道些事情 韋斯利 He's gotta know something. Wesley!
霍茲探員和甘博探員 我們來處理 Detective Hoitz and Gamble. We got this.
我在鳳凰城大學上了堂談判的在線課程 I took an online class at University of Phoenix on negotiating.
我需要一個牧師和一個擴音器 I'm gonna need a priest and a bullhorn.
我沒有擴音器 有人有擴音器嗎? I got no bullhorn. Does anyone have a bullhorn?
擴音器 有人有嗎? 卡車 Bullhorn, anyone? Truck.
警察處理公務 我需要使用你的擴音機 Police business. I need to use your PA system.
好的 我把它打開 Okay, let me turn it on.
比曼先生? 唐·比曼先生? Mr. Beaman? Mr. Don Beaman?
是韋斯利 我知道厄森的韋斯利... It's Wesley. I know Ershon's Wesley's...
聽著 你的生命中還有很多值得活下來的東西 Look, there's a lot to live for in this life.
很多偉大的東西 像是汽水 大支新鮮的罐裝汽水 A lot of great things, like soda pop, big fresh can of soda pop.
他們不在乎 They do not care!
把這給我 我知道怎麼和他說 Give me this. I know how to talk to him.
聽著 我們知道你是個卑鄙的傢伙 沒人在乎你 Listen, we all know you're a scumbag, and nobody cares about you.
一坨臭屎 Rotten piece of shit.
比我說的更差勁 That's worse than what I was saying.
我和你說真話 唐 I'm not gonna lie to you, Don.
這下面的人正開始嘀咕 People down here are starting to murmur
你沒有膽子跳 that you don't have the balls to do it.
我不在乎 是呀 I don't care! Yeah.
我知道你能做到的 I say you can do it.
我是說 我不想要你跳 I mean, I don't want you to jump.
我只是說你有這個能力 I'm just saying you have the capability.
看 他飛起來了 Look, he's flying!
別吹了 Stop that.
半瓶杜松子酒 椅子碰翻了 Half empty bottle of gin. Chair knocked over.
看看這個 這是很明顯掙扎的跡向 Look at this, it's a clear sign of a struggle.
要把這個拍下來 好嗎? Make sure you get this, all right?
探員們 這裏沒你們什麼事了 可以走了 Detectives, all your work's done here. You can go.
如果厄森的目標正是彩票呢? What about Ershon targeting the lottery?
你們知道為什麼厄森 You know why Ershon was calling down
這陣子一直打去彩票辦公室麼? to the lottery offices all those times?
因為他勾搭上了這個強力球女孩 Because he was hooking up with the Powerball girl,
電視上滾球的那個 the one on TV with all the numbered balls.
是 她上周申請了法院制止令 Yeah. She filed a restraining order on him last week.
是時候當面和你們說了 It was right there in front of you the whole time.
不會吧 你們被調走了 Can't be. You guys are getting transferred.
什麼? 交警 What? Traffic.
是 沒錯 Yeah, that's right.
你 你要在城內日常巡邏 You, you're gonna walk a beat downtown.
你要在城內日常巡邏 You're gonna walk a beat downtown.
說完了 不 長官 你在說什麼 It's done. No. Captain, what are you talking about?
不 不 說完了 No, no. It's done.
給你們省點油 長官 Save yourselves some gas. Captain!
我們有沒有申訴程序 Is there an appeal process we can...
你得做你應該做的 長官 Had to do what you had to do, Captain.
哇 真夠慘的 Wow! That hurt.
不好意思 我車哪去了 他們拖走了 Excuse me. Where's my car? They towed it.
一些無家可歸的人在上面搗亂 Couple of homeless people were messing around in it.
那是一輛正式的警車 也就騙騙我 That's an official police car. Could have fooled me.
哇 毛奇很生氣 嗯? Wow, Mauch was upset, huh?
是嗎? Really?
我在我老婆面前唯一值得驕傲的事 The only thing I had to be proud of in my life
就是我當了探員 was being a detective.
我只有這個了 現在這也沒了 That was all I had. Now it's gone.
我知道 我知道 你還有我 I know. I know. You still got me.
你還不明白嗎? 我不需要你 我從來都不需要你 Don't you get it? I don't want you, Allen, okay? I never did.
我告訴過你 腳手架違規的事是狗屎 I told you that scaffolding violation was dogshit.
我不敢相信 我們幹了這麼多事後 你還是質疑我 I can't believe you still doubt me after everything we've seen.
這是個真的案子 我是真警察 It's a real case, and I'm a real cop.
我們只是查錯了方向 We just got the wrong target for Ershon.
你帶了把哨子 這是真警察的工作 You carry a rape whistle. This is real cop work.
你就沒有做過一件男人該做的事情 好嗎? There is nothing about you that makes a man a man, okay?
你沒有槍 沒有車 沒老婆 現在你拍擋也沒了 You got no gun, no car, no wife, and now you got no partner.
讓我單獨呆會 Leave me alone.
一個蠢案子 A mutt case.
特裏 告訴你 我是個警察 好嗎? Terry, I am a cop, for your information, okay?
散伙的拍檔 A broken partnership.
我是個警察 I'm a cop!
被降級到一個差勁的工作 And getting busted down to a shitty assignment.
艾倫和特裏中了"三連彩"了 Allen and Terry hit the trifecta.
但是有時候 當你倒霉的時候 But sometimes when you get your ass kicked,
這就是你發現真實的時候 that's when you find out what's real...
需要做什麼的時候 ...and what needs doing.
不管是指揮交通 Whether it's directing traffic...
走呀 Come on!
還是破了幾百萬的詐騙案 ...or cracking a multibillion dollar fraud.
你在這裏上班? 是 沒錯 Do you work here? Yeah, I do.
那邊那個撞上卡斯蒂的起重球 The wrecking ball that crashed into Castien down there.
也對你的辦公室造成損壞? They also did damage to your office?
一些警察過來把它封上了 Some police officers came by and sealed it off.
你記得他們長什麼樣嗎? Do you recall what they looked like?
其中一個有澳洲口音 One of them had an Australian accent.
你不是在州彩票工作吧? You don't happen to do any business for the state lottery, do you?
不是 我們的主要客戶是蘭道公司 No. Our main client is Lendl Global.
可以問下是怎麼回事嗎? Can I ask what this is about?
本月交警之星 TRAFFIC ENFORCER OF THE MONTH
特裏·霍茲 Terry Hoitz
蓋特需要他的槍 你個無能的賤人 Gator needs his gat, you punkass bitch!
因為真警察就是這麼回事 'Cause that's what a real cop is.
不 我沒說把她關起來 我絕沒說過"把她關起來" No, I didn't say "Lock her up. " I never said, "Lock her up. "
一個男人做了他該做的事情 A guy who does what needs to be done.
一個男人知道怎麼善用他的黑暗面 A guy who knows how to use his dark side for good.
然後搬去佛羅里達 And then you move to Florida.
一 二 三 進攻 One, two, three, attack!
特裏 是我 Terry, it's me.
放開我 放開我 是我 艾倫 Tap out. Tap out. It's me, Allen.
你放不放開 還是你要打我的臉? Are you tapping out, or are you hitting me in the face?
我放開了 I'm tapping out!
你瘋了嗎? 你在這幹嗎 兄弟? You crazy? What are you doing, man?
他們可能在監視我們 我可能會殺了你 They might be watching us. Could've killed you.
關燈 什麼? Turn out the lights. What?
他們可能在監視 誰? They could be watching us. Who?
我發現一些重要的消息 好嗎? I found some big information, okay?
關於什麼? 重要信息 特裏 驚天大秘密 About what? Some scary shit, Terry. This is big.
你怎麼進來的? 這地方有安全自鎖裝置的 How'd you get in here? This place is foolproof.
我們得更小心 你在說什麼? We can't be too careful. What are you talking about?
這地方可能被竊聽 這裏沒有竊聽器 This place might be bugged. There's no bugs in here.
首先 我想你 First off, I missed you.
發生什麼事了? 你聽到我說什麼了嗎? What's going on? Did you hear what I said?
好吧 我也有點想你 謝謝 Fine, I kind of missed you, too. Thank you.
好吧 我知道厄森在掩蓋誰的損失 Okay. I found out whose losses Ershon has to cover.
是蘭道公司 什麼? It's Lendl Global. What?
蘭道用卡斯蒂搶劫案分散注意 Lendl staged the Castien robbery as a distraction
所以他們可以闖進他們隔壁自己的會計事務所 so they could break into their own accounting firm next door.
然後他們調換了記錄來掩蓋 They then altered all the records to cover the losses
厄森投資失敗的損失 that Ershon had cost them through all of his bad investments.
你不應該做這事的 You're not supposed to be doing this.
你應該巡街的 You're supposed to be walking the beat.
我知道 不過很機智吧 嗯? I know. Pretty tricky, though, huh?
這不好 艾倫 這不好 This is bad, Allen. This is bad.
難怪長官想讓我們不要管這個 No wonder the captain wanted us to stay out of this.
是的 我想比曼開始質疑了 Yeah, I bet Beaman started asking questions.
這就是他們殺他的原因 老天 That's why they killed him. Man.
還有件事 Here's the other thing.
明天 會有一單大生意 Tomorrow, there's a massive business deal going down.
厄森主導 Ershon's leading it.
我還是不知道 I still can't figure out
他們在和哪個可憐的傢伙做生意 who the poor sucker is they're making the deal with,
但是我們得阻止這單生意 but we gotta stop it.
是時候讓孔雀飛起來了 It's time to let the peacock fly.
我不去 艾倫 我喜歡我現在做的 I'm not going, Allen. I like what I do.
我也是 我們是警察 So do I. We're cops.
不 我喜歡我現在做的 我喜歡做交警 很不錯 No. I like what I do now. I like working traffic. It's a great gig.
什麼? What?
我喜歡指揮交通 我不和你去 I like working traffic. I'm not going with you.
指揮個屁交通? What is this traffic bullshit?
你在說什麼? 我在說我的人生 What are you talking about? I'm talking about my life.
我管的54街和第3大道的路口 很忙的 The corner I run on 54th and 3rd Avenue? It hums.
這是特裏的十字路口 其實交警呢? 他們是好人 It's Terry's intersection. And the traffic guys? They're good guys.
有一個傢伙 菲利浦? 他可以離便池20英尺尿尿 There's this one guy, Phillip? He can pee in the urinal from 20 feet.
你得看看 艾倫 你得看看 You've gotta see it, Allen. You've got to.
你怎麼回事? 我們的時光怎麼了? What happened to you? What happened to this being our time?
不行 艾倫 我退出 我不幹了 No way, Allen. I'm out. I'm done.
上車 拜託 艾倫 我們都知道這是木槍 Get in the car. Come on, Allen. We both know it's wooden.
離開這 現在上車 你不會開槍打我的 Apartment pop. Now get in the car. You're not gonna shoot me.
好吧 我老實說 這是我第二次開槍 Okay, I'll be honest. This is only the second time I've ever fired this.
那別指著我了 So stop pointing it at me.
聽著 明天早上 我只知道我要去找毛奇 好嗎? Look, tomorrow morning, all I know is I'm going to Mauch, all right?
為了什麼? 他不在乎 For what? He doesn't care.
他迴避這個案子很久了 我需要答案 He's been dodging this case for too long and I want answers.
我要他看著我的眼睛 告訴我為什麼 I want him to look me in the eye and tell me why.
看看新聞 兄弟 沒人在乎 Turn on the news, man. Nobody cares.
我希望我不是一個人 I hope I'm not alone.
希望你能帶上膽子 Hope you bring it.
今天是個重大的日子 大日子 We got a big day out there. Big one.
是滿月 人們會很有購物慾的 好嗎? We got a full moon. People are gonna be amped, all right?
我們來看看有什麼熱門的提示 好嗎? Let's see what we got on hot tips, all right?
新的浴室防滑墊進來了 The new bathmats are in.
還有件事 我們在皇家高地有一個連環強姦犯 One more thing. We got a serial rapist in Crown Heights.
老天 對不起 這是我另外的工作 別管它 別管 Jeez, I'm sorry. That's from my other job. Ignore that. Forget that.
好吧 也不要不管 Well, don't ignore it.
如果你住在皇家高地的話 你知道 結伴同行 If you live in Crown Heights, you know, walk in pairs.
吉恩·毛奇去廚房配件區 Gene Mauch to kitchen accessories.
我得走了 加油 在外面小心點 I gotta go. Go get 'em. Let's be careful out there.
橡樹類 The oak.
我想要把橡樹類的放一起 和楓樹類分開 好嗎? I like to keep the oak together and the maple separately, okay?
還有這些切菜板? And these chopping boards?
嘿 長官 Hey, Captain.
嘿 艾倫 怎麼樣? Hey, Allen. Hey, how you doing?
你來幹嗎? 來買新的浴室防滑墊? What are you doing here? Are you here for the bathmats?
我需要你坦白告訴我 我們之間坦白 I need you to be straight with me. Straight with us.
嘿 特裏 看看你們倆 Hey, Terry. Look at this.
我以為你要指揮交通 讓他們堵著吧 I thought you were working traffic today. Let them block the box.
另外 搭檔章程 對吧? 謝謝 Besides, partners' code, right? Thanks.
嘿 為什麼你非要將這個案子終止? Hey, why have you worked your ass off trying to kill this case?
好吧 好吧 我來告訴你們些事情 All right, fine. I'm gonna tell you guys something.
你們真的查得很深 查得很深 You really went into deep water on this one. You really went in deep.
厄森和上層都有聯絡 Ershon's connected to all the higher ups,
我得為自己留條後路 好嗎? and I gotta save what little ass I have left, okay?
雖然你現在一直對外界隱瞞這些骯髒的事情 You keep hiding from shit in the world,
但最終事情還是會被揭發的 and eventually the world comes to your front door.
很好 說得真好 Nice. That's very nice.
這是我從某集《天使在人間》裏學來的台詞 I heard it in an episode of Touched By An Angel.
如果你們能悄悄地調查這事 You keep this thing real quiet,
並找到確鑿的證據 and you make sure you have real evidence,
那或許我可以看看有什麼能幫得上忙的 and maybe I'll see what I can do.
但如果你們大張旗鼓 But if you make a lot of noise
引來媒體的注意 把地方檢察官也牽扯進來 and you attract the media attention, and you bring the DA in on this,
那就不用來找我幫忙了 明白了嗎? I am out, okay?
行 我們會安靜得像教堂裏的老鼠一樣 Yeah, we'll go in there like church mice.
但職業生涯中總有那麼一個案子 But there's one case, one case in a career
是他會傾盡全力去調查的 現在就是這樣 where you go all in. This is it.
很好 那就做給我們看吧 All right. Then you do us proud.
因為我不需要"二流警探" 'Cause I don't want no scrubs.
真的? 是的 Really? No.
你沒發現這是首TLC樂隊的歌? You're not aware that's a TLC song?
我不知道你在說什麼 I have no idea what you're talking about.
第二次了 你說不要逞能 Second time. You said chasing waterfalls,
現在你又說你不需要二流警探 now you're saying you don't want no scrubs.
我都不知道那是什麼來的 這是個口頭禪 I don't even understand the reference. It's like a tic.
我不知道你在說什麼 I have no idea what you're talking about.
記住 如果這事捅婁子了 就當我們從未談過這事 Remember, this thing gets messy, we never talked.
你可以相信我們 必須暗地裏行事 You can trust us. Real quiet.
小心謹慎 悄無聲息知道嗎 You gotta creep. Creep.
又來了 Come on.
除非你是在引用TLC的歌詞 You don't say "Creep-creep"
不然你不會說"悄無生息" unless you're quoting TLC.
嘿 夥計們 Hey, guys.
你們知道丹森和海史密斯不是好警察吧? You know Danson and Highsmith were not good cops, right?
是的 我們知道 但也是沒辦法的 Yeah, I guess we kind of knew that, but it's a drag.
我是說 剩下的人裏還有誰能做英雄呢 I mean, at a certain point, who's left to be a hero?
雖然我不想說 但有可能是你們倆 Not to be corny, maybe it's you guys.
你準備好了嗎 You ready?
好了 我們走 Yeah. Let's go.
不 挑染的部分很好看 謝謝 No, but the highlights are great. Thank you.
性感但又很莊重 謝謝 Sexy but serious. Thank you.
打擾一下 Excuse me.
這他媽都是些什麼人? 我只想見一個人而已 Who the hell are all these people? I was only expecting one man.
呃 就是一些人我欠了他們錢 他們自己要來的 You know, they're just some people I owe money to who wanted to be here.
他們是誰? Who are they?
呃 車臣的一些愛國者 還有一些企業家 Well, they are some Chechen patriots, entrepreneurs.
然後那些黑人小伙子是從尼日利亞來的 And the black chaps are some businessmen from Nigeria.
你欠尼日利亞人跟車臣人的錢? You owe money to the Nigerians and Chechens?
呃 是的 我欠他們錢 Yes. Yes, I do.
你有兩下子嘛 謝謝 You're a piece of work. Thank you.
我們最好還是開始吧 Probably best to get started.
這樣不錯 夥計 我們已經入局了 而且知道比分 This is good, baby. We're in the game, we know the score.
唯一讓我不爽的是 The only thing that bugs me is
我還是不知道厄森的目標是什麼 we still don't know who Ershon's targeting.
是彩票嗎? 幕後又是誰? Is it the lotto? Who is it?
誰在乎? 肯定是某個有錢的蠢蛋 Who cares? Some rich prick.
我必須告訴你們 我對於這個交易很興奮 I have to tell you, I am tremendously excited by this deal.
我可以跟你們保證你們投入的每一分錢 And I can assure you that every dime of your money
都將被最大限度的利用 will be invested with the utmost diligence.
你們給出的回報率確實很讓人興奮 Your rates of return are really exciting.
我們的成員們一定會眼前一亮 We think our members are gonna be just thrilled.
是的 過去十年的平均回報率 差不多有18% Yeah. I mean, we've averaged, like, 18% over the last 10 years.
我們現在要像教堂的老鼠 安靜得進去再出來 All right. Quiet as a church mouse, in and out.
我現在可以感受到你說的那種蛋疼的性奮 I can feel that tingling in my balls you were talking about.
很好 Beautiful.
好了 你們聽著 All right, listen up.
我是甘博探員 這位是霍茲探員 I am Detective Gamble. This is Detective Hoitz.
我們需要你們的配合 We need your cooperation.
大衛·厄森 David Ershon.
你因詐騙和貪污 You're under arrest for fraud, embezzlement,
以及涉嫌唐·比曼被殺一案被捕了 and in connection to the murder of Don Beaman.
這不是個好主意 This is a bad idea.
嘿 夥計們 Hey, guys.
鮑勃? 你在這幹什麼? Bob? What are you doing here?
我在投資啊 I'm investing.
你們還記得我們之前談到的代理人投票那事嗎? Do you remember we talked about that proxy vote a while back?
說的就是這事 見鬼 This is what it was for. Holy shit.
這只是一個更冒險的撫恤金投資 It's a more aggressive investment strategy for the pension.
艾倫! 我們太蠢了 他們的目標是警察的撫恤金 Allen! We're the suckers. They're targeting the police pension fund.
先生們 你們無權來這兒 而且也沒有授權令 Gentlemen, you're here illegally and without a warrant.
我們有權採取行動 We are within our rights to take action.
不能再像教堂裏的老鼠了! So much for quiet as church mice!
跑! Go!
那些人他媽的到底是誰? Who the hell are those guys?
先生們 Gentlemen,
我可以搞到搖滾年代的票 不過視野不太好 I can get you obstructed view tickets for Rock of Ages.
雖然我也承認那沒吸引力 Even I admit that's not very tempting,
但我也不是什麼票都能弄到的 該死的! but I'm not made of tickets, God damn it!
到前座去 你是怎麼想到的? Get in the front! How do you start this freaking thing?
快點!快! Go on! Go!
媽的! 快開! Shit! Go!
哦 天... Oh, my...
吉妮! 過來! 你 去把車開來! Jeanie! Get over here! You, go get the bloody car!
抓住方向盤! Hold the wheel!
打開後備箱! 知道了 我知道了! Open the back! I got it. I got it!
他們會殺了我 然後再來殺你們 They're gonna kill me. And then they will kill you.
我會先殺了你的! 然後他們會再殺我一次 Well, I'm gonna kill you first! And then they will kill me.
現有兩名游手好閒的警察 他們佩有槍支很危險 We have two rogue police officers. They are armed and dangerous,
並且挾持了大衛·厄森 愚蠢的有錢人! and holding David Ershon hostage. Stupid pricks!
是我們 我們是好警察 沒錯 他們是好警察 It's us, we're good guys! Exactly. They're the good guys.
我們去哪? 我們去哪? Where do we go? Where do we go?
我有一個小公寓 沒人知道那 I have a small apartment. No one knows about it.
只有我父母跟妓女住過 I use it mainly for my parents and prostitutes.
不是同時 那樣就麻煩了 Not at the same time. That would be wrong.
你就從頭說起吧 Let's hear it from the top, every detail.
我覺得講故事的最好方法就是 I think the best way to tell the story is
從結尾開始簡單敘述 by starting at the end, briefly,
然後回到開頭 then going back to the beginning,
再階段性地總結跟結尾的關係 and then periodically returning to the end,
或許在過程中還應該給出不同角色的一些觀點 maybe giving different characters' perspectives throughout.
這樣才比較生動 Just to give it a bit of dynamism,
否則 那就是一個單調的故事 otherwise, it's just sort of a linear story.
快告訴我們到底發生了什麼事 Just tell us what happened.
我損失掉了某些人的一大筆錢 I lost a bunch of money from some people
現在他們想要拿回那筆錢 and now they want it back.
那唐·比曼是怎麼回事? What about Don Beaman?
比曼知道我篡改了一些我的財務報表 Beaman knew that I had falsified my financials,
所以他們派了韋斯利來封他的口 so they sent down Wesley to try and keep him quiet.
韋斯利用槍對著他逼他喝了好多杜松子酒 He forced him at gunpoint to drink a bunch of gin
再把他逼上了窗台 and then forced him onto the ledge.
他什麼時候掉下去只是時間的問題 It was only a matter of time before he fell.
至少我們阻止了你得到那筆撫恤金 At least we stopped you from getting the pension fund.
嗯 不對 你們沒能阻止 那筆錢已在我賬戶裏了 Well, but, yeah, but you didn't. It's already in my account.
到早上9點 那筆錢匯入了蘭道自有基金 By 9:00 in the morning, it goes into the Lendl equity fund
然後從那個基金匯給好幾個海外賬戶 and from there it's transferred to a dozen offshore accounts.
9點01分之前 這些錢就都會被轉走 By 9:01, it's gone.
那如果我們阻止轉賬呢? 但你們不能阻止 Well, what if we stop the transfer? But you can't.
那如果我們阻止轉賬呢? What if we stop the transfer?
你們必須在9點整時出現在地方銀行 You'd have to be at Endemic Bank for 9:00 exactly,
找到那個辦事員 拿到分行代號 find the clerk, get the routing number.
我們必須阻止這件事 We gotta stop it.
但那不可能 There's no way.
每一個警察 還有那個澳大利亞瘋子和他的手下 Every cop, the crazy Australian and his crew,
都會來追捕我們 they'll all be after us.
你們可以放我走 我給你們每人一百萬 You could let me go, and I'll give you $10 million each.
這不是賄賂 這就是賄賂 It's not a bribe. Of course it's a bribe.
你試圖給我們錢讓我們不要完成我們的工作 You're offering to pay us money to not do our job.
這不是賄賂 It's not a bribe.
我們今晚低調行事 沒人知道這個地方 We hang low here tonight. Nobody knows about this place.
我們會很安全 然後明天我們就去銀行 We'll be safe. And tomorrow, we hit it.
但首先 我要去見見希拉 First things first, I gotta go see Sheila.
不行 那很危險 No way, it's too dangerous.
聽著 特裏 我們都不知道明天會發生什麼 Look, Terry, we don't know what's gonna happen to us tomorrow,
但今晚 我必須去見希拉對她有個交代 but tonight, I need to make things right with Sheila.
好吧 去吧 去吧 小心點 All right, go. Go. Be careful.
謝謝 我會的 Thanks, I will.
你會幫我跟希拉問好嗎? Will you say hi to Sheila for me?
好的 很好 Okay. Okay.
告訴她說 特裏有問起過她 Tell her. Say Terry was asking about you.
他希望你知道 He wants to make sure you know
不管發生什麼事他都會在你需要時出現的 that he'll be there for you if anything happens.
好 危急關頭我會立馬出現 Yeah. Drop of a hat, I'm there.
聽著 夥計 再往下說就有些奇怪了 Look, it's starting to get a little weird, man.
如果你發生了什麼事 我必須照顧她 If something happens to you, I need to be there to take care of her.
她所有想要的東西 需求 渴望我都會滿足她 All of her wants, her needs, and desires are now my responsibility.
你幹嘛說得好像是事先就決定好的事情? Why do you say it like it's a predetermined thing?
去吧 夥計 Just go, man.
好的 謝謝 Okay. Thanks.
去吧 Go.
雅內可美術館 Janeco Gallery.
弗朗辛 我是特裏 別掛電話 Francine, it's Terry. Please don't hang up.
接電話吧 Please pick up.
喂 Hello.
嘿 親愛的 我猜你在你媽媽家裏 Hey, sweetie. I was praying you'd be at your mom's house.
你知道嗎 我不能說太多 我猜這電話被竊聽了 You know what, I can't talk anymore. I think the phone's being tapped.
寶貝 你在哪裏? 我想見你 Baby, where are you? I wanna see you.
我在我們上次萬聖節做了三次的那個地方 I'm near the place where we did it three Halloweens ago.
記得嗎? Do you remember?
哦 記得 Okay, yeah, I got it.
我是來告誡你 I'm just warning you, though.
要小心 我覺得他們在監視你們 Watch out. I think they're watching the house.
別擔心 親愛的 我想我有辦法跟你說話 Don't worry, sweetie. I think I have a way of talking to you.
我得說 我不想來的 我是說... I have to admit, I wasn't gonna come. I mean...
這麼多年來的限制令什麼的 After all those years, after the restraining order.
我擔心我可能再也見不到你了 I was worried I might not see you again.
一些很危險的人在找他 There's some very dangerous people after him,
現在他們在找我們 and now they're after us.
只是個老女人 It's just the old lady.
你好 艾倫 Hello, Allen.
你好 羅馬斯媽媽 你來外面做什麼呢? Hello, Mama Ramos. What are you doing out here?
希拉說她不明白發生了什麼事 她想要你回去 Sheila said she doesn't know what happened and she wants you back.
她還說... 嗯 She also says... Yes.
...她想讓你在她的上面 捧著她的頭髮 ...she wants you on top of her, holding her hair,
像騎一匹難馴的馬那樣騎著她 and riding her like a bucking bronco
她吮吸你的大拇指說著"媽媽喜歡" while she sucks your thumb and says, "Mommy likey. "
你告訴你的女兒... You, you tell your daughter...
他說他會一直愛你 He said he'll always love you.
他很高興你有了他的孩子 And he's so happy that you're having his child.
艾倫 Allen.
他還說 He also says that
他要你做那事的時候 he wants you to stare into each other's eyes
相互看著對方的眼睛不要眨眼 without blinking while you do it.
我愛極了我們做愛的那一刻 媽媽 這之後 I love when we do that, Mom. And then afterward,
他說要互相口交 lick the sex off each other.
我不想幹了 I don't wanna do this.
你們講話太肉麻了 You say things that are too personal.
但這是最後一次 Okay, but just one more thing.
她說她愛你 She said she loves you,
想要和你牽著手一起喝冰茶 and wants to hold your hand and have iced tea with you.
拜託 那不是她說的吧 Come on. That's not all she said.
不是 No.
她說了別的 但是我不想... 求求你說吧 She says other things, but I don't want... Please, please, please.
你不知道嗎 明天我可能就被殺了 You don't realize, I may be killed tomorrow.
好吧 Okay.
她說她想關掉所有的鍾和電話 She says she wants to unplug all the clocks and the phones
來一次三天的做愛馬拉松 這才像她說的 and have a three-day F marathon. That's more like it. Yeah.
她想一周都下不了床 因為你們做得太激烈了 She wants to walk wrong for a week because you guys F'd so hard.
太美好了 That's just lovely.
夠了! 他說的話我沒法說 No more! He says things I can't say.
又是仿真手 It involves a mannequin hand
又是高爾夫球棒 還綁著什麼電動剃鬚刀 and an electric shaver taped to a golf club.
她又說了什麼? Now what'd she say?
她說她愛你 She says she loves you.
這一切我深感抱歉 I'm so sorry about everything.
我今晚只是來這兒告訴你 我愛你 And I just had to come here tonight to tell you that I love you.
我把你當做一個平凡的妻子是因為 And the reason why I act like you're a plain wife is that
我怕如果我承認你是多麼的漂亮 I'm afraid that if I admit to how stunning
多麼的聰明 多麼的美妙 and intelligent and wonderful you are,
我就會失去你 別說了 艾倫 我愛你 I'd just lose you. Shut up, Allen. I love you.
有個很安全的地方 We have a place that's safe. All right.
我要操紅你的小屁屁 I'm gonna break your hip.
輪到爺爺上陣啦 I'm about to do you grandpa-style.
早上8點36分 轉賬前24分鐘
我帶了點兒音樂來 I brought some music.
不是我原本想要的 不過就這樣吧 Not what I would've chosen, but screw it.
好吧 出發吧 "週一早晨" 該工作了 All right. Let's go, Monday morning, time to go to work.
出發吧 Let's do it.
你要我大門密碼嗎? 閉嘴! You want my gate code? Shut up, man!
那是韋斯利! That's Wesley!
成功穿越! Yes!
你從哪兒學來這樣開車的? 《俠盜車手》 Where'd you learn to drive like that? Grand Theft Auto!
靠 艾倫 他們來了 Shit, Allen, they're coming.
哦 天哪! 靠 Oh, my God! Shit.
做點什麼吧 艾倫! 穩住 穩住 Do something, Allen! Hold on, hold on.
他玩了《俠盜車手》那招啊 Someone's been playing Grand Theft Auto.
我成功了! I did that!
我成功了! 哦 天哪! I did that! Oh, my God!
我就說嘛! 他們翻車嘍! That's what I'm talking about! We jackknifed them!
看到了嗎? 它向後退然後就翻了車 Did you see that? It went backwards and then turned upside-down.
蓋特把貨車翻了過來 Gator turns vans upside-down
車就好像進了個超級無敵洗衣機 like they're in a crazy washing machine!
為什麼你要叫自己蓋特? Why are you calling yourself Gator?
那是我在大學時的昵稱 用於一些約會服務 It's a nickname I had in college. I used to run a dating service.
他是個皮條客 是的 我以前是個皮條客 He was a pimp. Yeah, I was. I was a pimp.
是我身上有味道還是車本身就一股鹿的陰道味? Is it me or does it smell like deer vagina in here?
我可憐的車啊 My poor car.
現在整個街區面臨一場屠殺 Right now the streets are a bloodbath.
統計了一下 這兒有大約30名兒童 And, statistically speaking, there's about 30 kids in here,
你們中的10個將在你們下個生日前死去 10 of you are gonna be dead before your next birthday.
記住幾點 能讓你們遠離監獄 Got a couple of tips, help you guys stay out of jail.
第一 千萬不要做黑人或是西班牙人 One, try your hardest to not be black or Hispanic.
這點不錯 嗯 第二... It's a good tip. Yeah. Two...
先生們 有情況 Gentlemen, we got a hot one.
霍茲和甘博挾持了厄森 開車高速飛馳在路上 Hoitz and Gamble have Ershon hostage, high-speed car chase in progress.
好的! 槍 槍! Yes! Gun, gun!
把槍傳過來 傳過來 出發吧 夥計 Pass up the guns. Pass them up. Let's go, people.
我們要走了 誰有電擊槍 沒有嗎 There we go. Anything, any Tasers? No?
很好 誰想要一起去? Good. Who wants to go on a ride-along?
我! I do!
好吧 就你了 甜心 來吧 我們出發 快 All right, you, sweetie. Come on, let's go. Move.
快! 出發 快跑! Move! Let's go. Come on!
帥呆了 有架直升機! 肯定是用來高速追蹤的 Cool, a helicopter! Must be covering the high-speed chase.
天哪! Jesus!
那些傢伙是誰? 他們是車臣投資商 Who are those guys? They're Chechen investors.
我們打算做一個《探險家朵拉》的車臣版本 We were gonna do a Chechen version of Dora the Explorer.
不管怎樣 現在已經一團糟了 Anyway, it went terribly wrong.
他們有架直升機 這事讓我覺得很不公平! I feel like it's not fair that they have a helicopter!
哦 不 Oh, no.
該死的 Damn it.
注意你的腦袋 天哪 你的頭髮好軟 Watch your head. God, your hair is soft.
我用的VO5護髮素 VO5 Hot Oil.
你這準得完蛋! 兩邊都有來車 You're gonna wreck! There's cars coming from both directions!
我才不要完蛋呢! I'm not gonna wreck!
我要完蛋了! 被你說中了! 要我來開麼? I'm gonna wreck! You're right! You want me to drive?
這倒是個好主意 是啊 This was a very clever idea. Yeah.
他們走了 They're gone.
走吧 Let's go.
他們是尼日利亞人 是啊 我都忘了他們了 They are Nigerians. Yeah, I'd forgotten about them.
這是條捷徑 你在開玩笑吧? This is a shortcut. Are you kidding me?
你過不去的 You cannot go down there.
你在幹什麼? What are you doing?
撞他! Hit him!
我們在哪兒呢? 切爾西碼頭 Where are we? Chelsea Pier.
不是吧? What the hell?
天啊! Jesus!
他們那架直升飛機絕對是作弊 Them having a helicopter is definitely cheating.
快走! Go!
快跑! Come on!
我們是警察! 打那架直升飛機! We're cops! Hit the chopper!
我們是馬丁和佛西 已在路上 This is Martin and Fosse, en route.
都退後! 這是我們的逮捕行動! Back off! This is our collar!
拉起防線 在我們趕到前不准採取逮捕行動! Set up a perimeter. No arrests until we get there!
把警燈打開! Take the light!
不要批准那項轉賬 Do not authorize that transfer.
這是大衛·厄森 這帳是為他轉的 This is David Ershon. The transfer is for him.
他會讓你不要授權的 快說 He will tell you not to authorize it, okay? Tell him.
快說! 對 照他們說的做 停止轉賬 Tell him! Yeah, do as they say. Stop the transfer.
不要停 Approve it.
就現在 Now.
什麼都不要動! Do not touch anything!
我對天發誓 我會打得你腦袋滿桌子滾 I swear to God I'll blow your head all over this desk.
這房間裏沒人信你會開槍打他 Not a person in this room believes you'll shoot this clerk.
是嗎? Yeah?
非常感謝你們把厄森先生送過來 Thank you so much, gentlemen, for the prompt delivery of Mr. Ershon.
我有兩筆投資商的競價 I have two competing bids from jilted investors.
它們值三千萬美金 還未到賬 They're at 30 million, and holding.
等一下! 你就不能讓我... 把他帶走 Wait! Can't you let me... Take him away.
但是計算機 But computers.
如果有一天它們被控制了會怎麼樣? What if, one day, they were in charge?
如果你現在不閉嘴 我會用黃油刀割掉你的耳朵 Now if you don't shut up, I will cut your ear off with a butter knife.
那很鈍 鈍的比鋒利的還糟糕 That's blunt. Blunt's worse than if it's sharp.
就現在! Now!
你就站那兒別動! You just stood there!
我不明白"現在"指的是什麼 我要怎麼知道啊? I didn't know that "now" meant that. How am I supposed to know that?
我知道是什麼意思 閉嘴 I knew what that meant. Shut up.
你殺了我們就殺了厄森 你就拿不到那三千萬了 You kill us and you kill Ershon. You're out 30 million dollars.
現在是誰佔上風 啊? 對啊 Who's got the golden goose now, huh? Yeah.
見鬼! Shit!
他就算中了槍也還是有利用價值的 He's still valuable with a bullet wound, mate.
他馬上就看穿你的把戲了 He immediately called your bluff.
起來 殺了那些警察 Get up. And kill the police.
我好像還搞不清狀況 I just wanna make sure I get it right.
你是要批准轉賬呢還是不批准呢? Did you want this transfer approved or not approved?
你 夥計 我打算殺你練練槍 You, mate, I'm gonna kill just for fun.
警察 不許動! 放下你的武器! Police, don't move! Drop your weapons!
要麼放下武器 要麼橫著出去 老弟! Drop it, or be dropped, homeboy!
我希望監獄的飯菜和男人能合你胃口 I hope you like the taste of prison food and penis.
警察! 跪地上別動! 把手舉起來! Police! Down on the ground! Let me see your hands!
嘿 嘿 你還好吧? 嘿 Hey, hey, you okay? Hey.
嘿 吉恩 長官 很抱歉 Hey, Gene. Captain. I'm sorry.
抱歉 沒事 別擔心 I'm sorry. That's okay. Don't worry about it.
我們不在辦公室的時候你可以叫我吉恩 You can call me Gene when we're not in the office.
好的 謝謝你能來 Okay. Thanks for coming by.
好小子 Attaboy.
別這樣 聽我說 聽我說 Come on, stay with me. Stay with me.
他快不行了! 他快不行了! 他快死了! We're losing him! We're losing him! He's dying!
不不不 我只是在休息 No. No, no, no, no. I'm just resting.
我剛只是在休息 I'm just resting.
抱歉 我傷到你了嗎? 我剛只是在休息 I'm sorry. Did I hurt you? I'm just resting.
你還好吧? 只是休息一下 Are you all right? Just resting.
嘿 告訴你件事 Hey, let me tell you something.
文案工作我們會幫忙做好的 As far as paperwork goes, we'll take care of it.
你知道為什麼嗎? 為什麼? You know why? Why?
"那是我們的榮幸" Ain't too proud to beg.
少來了 Come on.
怎麼了? 不是那麼好笑了 What? It's not funny anymore.
不知道你在說什麼 TLC的歌名 I don't know what you're talking about. TLC references.
啥都不知道 我向你發誓 Still nothing. I swear to you.
我要去那邊看看特裏 I'm gonna go over and check on Terry.
我膝蓋不太好 穩住 去啦 I got a bad knee. Hold on. There you go.
這真是傻瓜案子之最 It was the king of the mutt cases,
但是艾倫和特裏卻視之如寶 but Allen and Terry had worked it like stars.
24小時都在調查厄森的陰謀 Within 24 hours of learning about Ershon's scheme
和蘭道公司的巨大損失 and Lendl's massive losses,
政府啟動問題資產救助計劃出資幫助蘭道 the government issued TARP funds to bail out Lendl.
蘭道涉及各個領域 Lendl is in everything,
我們會將產業擴展到各地... and we're gonna go everywhere...
出資巨大不容失敗 They were too big to fail.
厄森現在身處佛羅里達巴洛米諾聯邦教養所 Ershon now resides in Palomino Federal Correctional Facility in Florida.
他還在投資 只是貨幣有所不同 He still invests. Currency's just different.
羅傑·韋斯利與比曼的謀殺案有關 Roger Wesley was linked to the Beaman murder
馬丁和佛西未檢查的監控錄像 by security cam footage which Martin and Fosse hadn't checked.
只拍到了他們的後腦勺 It only showed the back of their heads.
但是艾倫的"人人後腦勺"程序 But Allen's Faceback app
卻將他們的正臉與錄像對上了 was able to get a match to their faces.
特裏和弗朗辛結婚了 Terry married Francine.
他在婚禮上彈奏了豎琴 很美妙 He played harp at the reception and it was beautiful.
八年級的時候他就學會了豎琴彈奏 He had learned how to play it in the eighth grade
以嘲笑街邊的賣藝女 to make fun of the fairy that lived up the street.
特裏找希拉做他的伴郎 但她拒絕了 Terry asked Sheila to be his best man, but she declined.
坦白說 我們都希望能成為巨星或是牛人 Let's be honest, we all wanna be superstars and hotshots.
但知道嗎? But guess what?
那些實實在在做事 正改變著這個世界的人們 The people that do the real work, the ones that make the difference,
你不會在電視或是頭條上看到他們 you don't see them on TV or on the front page.
我是在說那些日復一日做事的老實人 I'm talking about the day-in, day-outers, the grinders.
拜託 夥計 你知道我在說誰: 二流人物 Come on, man, you know who I'm talking about: The other guys.
看吧? 行不通的 嘿 嘿 See? That's a no-go. Hey, hey.
你們以為你們破了厄森的案子? You think you broke this Ershon case open?
你們什麼都沒做成 You did nothing.
當局遊說者動用數百萬美元 Corporate lobbyists are spending millions
以確保像厄森這樣的人可以繼續進行他們的勾當 to make sure guys like Ershon keep doing what they do.
德裏克·傑特? Derek Jeter?
是啊 是我 你開槍打我那晚被設計了 特裏 Yeah, it's me. You were set up that night you shot me, Terry.
我就說嘛! 他們知道如果安排一個像你這樣 I told you! They knew by putting someone like you
一個動輒就開槍的人 with a quick trigger finger next to that door
在賽前通道 where I do my pre-game walk,
一定會出事 果真我倆都倒霉了 it'd end up bad. Bad for both of us.
現在我在銀行業自己做調查 Now, I've been doing my own investigation on the banking industry,
很接近了 我就快成功了 and I was close. I was real close.
所以我原諒你 特裏 So I forgive you, Terry.
謝謝 夥計 抱歉會發生這事 I appreciate that, man. I'm sorry about what happened.
很開心你步入正軌 I'm glad you're doing better.
整個該死的系統都被他們那些髒錢給攪了 The whole damn system is clogged up with dirty money.
新聞卻隻字不提 那是因為誰是這幕後主使? And the news doesn't say a word about it. 'Cause who owns them?
和政府幕後相同的人 The same corporations that own the government.
法庭和法律是我們唯一剩下的途徑了 Courts and the law is all we have left.
所以呢 這是你們下一個案子 So here's you guys' next case.
一個叫卡爾·巴尚的人 奇勒斯特銀行的CEO Guy by the name of Carl Bachand, CEO of Killister Bank.
他挪用了不良資產救助計劃中的三十億 He took three billion in TARP funds.
他不是好人 他就是個混蛋 He's crooked. He's real crooked.
把他拉下馬 但要小心 他有黑水國際2417做靠山 Take him down, but be careful. He's got Blackwater mercenaries 24l7.
謝謝 德裏克 Thanks, Derek.
嘿 德裏克! 等等! 如果我們想要聯繫你 Hey, Derek! Wait! What if we need to get in touch with you,
要更多消息或是門票什麼的該怎麼辦? get some more information or some tickets or something?
剛怎麼回事啊? What just happened?
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戈德曼·薩克斯 這案子很難搞 Goldman Sachs. This case is gonna be nasty.
嗨 很帥氣的眼鏡 Hi. Cute glasses.
她說什麼? 什麼? What was that? What?
什麼? 老兄 你和那辣妹什麼關係? 你有秘密? What? Dude, what is it with you and hot ladies? What's your secret?
老實說 我不知道你在說什麼 Honestly, I have no idea what you're talking about.
告訴我你把你的處子之身獻給了誰 Tell me who you lost your virginity to.
她事實上成為了一名電視演員 希瑟·拉克裏爾 She actually became a TV actress. Heather Locklear.
希瑟·拉克裏爾 什麼? Heather Locklear, what?
你聽說過她? 不是吧! You've heard of her? Come on!
她過去還要豐滿 She was much chubbier back then.
我想不通 我真是想不通啊 I don't get it. I really, I don't get it.
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是你 你沒什麼幽默感 That was you. You don't have a sense of humor.
我有... 我不要太有幽默感哦 I do... I have a wonderful sense of humor.
如果你說些好玩的東西 我會笑 If you say something funny, I'll laugh.
好吧 我要給你講個很好玩的笑話 All right, I'm gonna tell you a great joke.
來吧 我喜歡笑話 Please. I love jokes.
好的 有個小男孩過13歲生日了 All right. Little boy on his 13th birthday.
是時候破處了 有點不是時候啊 It's time to get laid. Already feels inappropriate.
於是他找到妓院裏的小姐 他說"小姐" So he goes to the lady at the whorehouse, he goes, " Miss,
"瞧 我知道你通常要收錢 "look, I know usually you want money,
"但我沒錢 今天又是我的生日" "but I don't have any money and it's my birthday.
"我能給你這只鴨子然後跟你上床嗎?" "Do you think I could have sex with you for this duck?"
他是個農民? 不是 Was he a farmer? No.
他可能會違反了健康法 That's probably a Health Code violation,
帶只鴨子上妓院 bringing a duck into a place of prostitution.
他們不是和那只鴨子上床! They weren't gonna have sex with the duck!
不 我是說帶只鴨子上那種地方 No, I just mean Health Code violation
違抗了健康法規 to have the duck brought into a facility like that.
不管怎樣 她說"可以" So, anyway, she says, "Yes, I'll do it. "
所以他做了 把第一次獻給了她 So he goes in there, gives it to her.
獻給她什麼? He gives her what?
就是又挺又粗的那個 她愛極了 The high, hard one! She loves it.
她接著說 "你知道嗎? She goes, " You know what?
"如果你再做一次 我會把你的鴨子還給你" "If you do that again, I'll give you your duck back. "
所以就是免費上床兩次 呃... 抱歉 It's like getting laid twice for free. So... I'm sorry.
我很抱歉 I'm so sorry.
那只鴨子是用來付上床的錢的 是的是的 The duck is payment for sexual intercourse. Yes. Yes.
很好 他用鴨子付款 Very good. He used the duck as payment,
現在他又能把鴨子要回來 and now he's being paid back the duck.
他說"哦 天哪 這是我最棒的生日了" He goes, " Oh, my God, this is the greatest birthday ever. "
他又做了一次 He does it again.
然後他走回家了 走走走... Now he's walking home, right? Walking...
所以她對鴨子很滿意 So she was satisfied with duck.
鴨子當做貨幣... 是的 With a duck as currency... Yes.
給她 很棒 很好 ...to her. Great. Good.
他走回家去 So he's walking home,
現在他迫不及待想要回去告訴他爸爸 now he can't wait to get home to tell his father. Right?
他和鴨子沿著街道走 突然間 轟的一聲 He's walking down the street with the duck, and all of a sudden, voom,
來了輛貨車 撞倒了他的鴨子 truck comes by and runs over his duck.
把鴨子殺了? 殺了 Kills the duck? Killed the duck.
所以那只鴨子死了 它死了 So the duck is now dead. The duck is dead.
那個孩子開始哭泣 貨車司機停下了 The kid starts crying, truck driver stops,
他很煩心 他不是故意的... 他當然會哭了 he's all upset, he didn't mean... Of course he's crying!
他是個13歲的孩子 才發生過兩次性交 He's a 13-year-old boy who's just had sex, twice,
他看著自己摯愛的鴨子死掉 and he watched his beloved duck die.
你能閉嘴讓我把故事講完嗎? Will you shut up and let me tell the story?
目前為止 我還不明白這個故事會怎麼個幽默法 So far, I don't know how this is ever gonna be funny.
那夥計對於弄死那只鴨子感到很抱歉 The guy feels so bad about killing the duck,
他給了他兩塊錢 he gives him two dollars.
那孩子高興了嗎? And the kid's happy with the two bucks?
他狂喜不止! 他上床了兩次 He's ecstatic! He got laid twice,
現在他又得到了兩塊錢 and now he's got two dollars on top of it.
聽上去一隻鴨子遠比兩塊錢有價值得多 Seems like a duck would be worth a lot more than two dollars.
死了就不值錢了 This was a while back. You what I'm...
於是他到了家 他爸爸問 "發生什麼事了?" So he goes home, his dad goes, "What happened? What happened?
"告訴我! 告訴我!" "Tell me! Tell me!"
他說"爸爸 我用鴨子上了床" He goes, "Dad, I got a fuck for the duck,
"我又上床拿回了鴨子" "I got a duck for the fuck,
"拿回了鴨子換來了兩塊錢!" "and I got two bucks for a fucked-up duck!"
這像是打油詩 So it's like a limerick.
你覺得不好笑嗎? You didn't think that was funny?
我覺得最後還是蠻娛樂大眾的 確實是 I thought it was entertaining at the end, sure,
把所有的詞都串在一起 the way all the words were put together,
但是從內容上來說? but in terms of content?
不好笑 No.
結完賬咱走人吧 Get the check-check from Shen-Shen. Let's get out of here.
別這樣 你搞嘛啊 Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.
卡 And cut.