他睡着了吗？ Is he asleep yet?
嗯 我准备把他放床上去 Yeah, I'll go put him to bed.
R·凯莉的歌就是有助于睡眠 R. Kelly always does the trick.
我觉得埃文正在发皮疹 I think Evan may be developing a rash.
当你给他屁屁擦凡士林的时候 You know, when you rub the Aquaphor on his tush,
你可不能把它擦偏了 you can't just put it on his cheeks,
你必须擦在菊花周围 you have to rub it all over the anus, too.
菊花周围 明白 All over the anus, got it.
我要去洗香香了 I think I'm going to take a bath, okay?
好的 亲爱的 去吧 Okay, babe. Go for it.
这次可不行 Not this time.
好的 来来来 Okay, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. Okay.
好的 Yep.
哦耶 你爱我的私处 不是吗？ Yeah, you like it nasty, don't you?
爱 我爱 说得没错 I do. I do, I'm sorry. Guilty as charged.
上帝啊 你的好大啊 下面痒… God, you're so big, it hurts.
我知道 我还不能解决这个问题 I know, I can't help it.
耶！ Yeah!
给我 老爸 哦耶. Give it to me, daddy. Yeah.
给我 老爸 给我 老爸 耶！ Give it to me, daddy. Give it to me... Yeah.
老爸？ Daddy?
埃文！我操… Evan! What the...
你刚才开的门？你怎么开的？ You're opening doors now? How did...
- 我看见一只怪兽 - 一只什么？ - I saw a monster. - A what?
来插我菊花啊 Stick your finger in my asshole.
上帝呀 God.
干我 哦耶 干我 哦！ Fuck, yeah! Fuck, yeah!
加油啊 加油啊 加油干我啊 哦耶 Come on, come on, come on. Fuck, yeah!
我要你来干我的… I want you to come all over my...
我去 My God!
埃文 别碰那个 Evan, don't touch that!
别碰 Don't...
老爸 流血了 Daddy, boo-boo.
我操 What the...
我去 My God.
别动 呆在那 Okay, don't move. Stay here.
老爸需要创可贴 Daddy needs a Band-Aid.
米歇尔？ Michelle?
你在…？ Do you...
老妈 老爸 你们还好吗？ Mommy, Daddy, are you okay?
美国派4-美国重逢 翻译：moonprime
吉姆·莱文斯坦 Jim Levenstein.
他们还没给你找个助理 啊哈？ They still haven't gotten you an assistant yet, huh?
凯文 不好意思 我一直想给你回电话的 Kev, I'm sorry, I've been meaning to call you back.
- 我刚巧… - 在忙？ - I've just been... - Busy?
知道了 I get it.
我长话短说吧 Look, I'll make this quick, okay?
重聚会 你来吗？ The reunion, you in?
我去 真的要开？ Hold on, is that really happening?
对的 伙计 检查下你的微博 Yeah, man, check your Facebook.
我知道他们结婚后有十年没见了 Look, I know they missed the ten-year by a couple,
但是 你懂的 这次他们真的要来聚一下了 but, you know, seems like people are actually going.
嘿 亲爱的 嘿！ Hey, hon. Hey!
晚饭闻着好香啊 Mmm. Dinner smells great.
嘿 艾莉 Hey, Ellie.
嘿 吉姆 Hey, Jim.
《单身女郎》马上最后一场了 Ooh, Bachelorette finale later.
别忘了 我们要看看真正的家庭主妇的本事哦 And don't forget, we still have to watch Real Housewives.
耶 我怎么会忘呢？ Yeah, how could I forget?
嘿 凯文 你知道我最喜爱的家庭主妇是谁吗？ Hey, Kev, you know who my favorite housewife is?
就是你 You.
想笑死我啊 Very funny.
我爱我老婆 但是我更爱基友 Look, I love my wife, but I need a weekend with the guys.
我们会提前几天去 这次没硬条 Come on, we'll go a few days early. No Stifler this time.
就你、我、奥兹还有芬奇 Just you, me, Oz and Finch.
好吧 希望一切顺利 Yeah, well, good luck with that.
我听说芬奇的妈妈不知道他在哪 I heard Finch's mom doesn't even know where he is.
奥兹怎么样了 And what about Oz?
我是说 你认为他还在做他喜欢做的事吗 I mean, do you really think he would come with all he has going on?
这里是《体育视野》节目 And we're back here on Sports View,
这是我们的特别嘉宾-查德·欧丘辛柯 （NFL辛辛那提孟加拉虎明星接球员） with my special guest, Chad Ochocinco.
查德 哪家大学橄榄球俱乐部 Chad, which college football powerhouse
在今年的选秀中将拥有最多被选中的新秀？ is gonna have the most players drafted in this year's draft?
我觉得是我的母校 俄勒冈州立大学 I'm gonna have to go with my alma mater, the Oregon State.
拜托 你这是什么意思？ Come on, man! What are you smoking, Ocho?
你是说我在扯蛋么？ You think I don't know what I'm talking about?
帮帮忙 看下比赛录像吧 Do me a favor, take a look at the tape.
嘿 亲爱的 我回来了 Hey, babe, I'm home!
感谢我们的特别嘉宾查德 And that wraps it up for my special guest, Chad Ochocinco.
克里斯·奥兹为您解说 This is Chris Ostreicher reminding you to play on, plava!
嘿 米娅？ Hey, Mia?
天哪 太有意思了 My gosh! So funny.
嘿 宝贝 Hey, baby!
嗨！ Hi!
一分钟前我正在看你的节目呢 I was just watching your show a minute ago.
是吗？ Yeah?
一切都好吗？ Is everything okay?
你跟我解释下 你跟一个花花公子泡在热水浴池里 You tell me. You're in the hot tub with another dude.
你是说德尚吗？ You are worried about Deshaun?
你太萌了 Aw, that is so cute!
德尚是一个室内装潢师 我跟你说过的 Deshaun's the interior decorator I told you about.
嗨 克里斯多夫！ Hey, Christopher!
衣服脱了 一起下来洗呀 Strip down! Come join us.
还是下回吧 德尚 Maybe next time, Deshaun.
我仍然不清楚为什么我们需要一个室内装潢师 I still don't get why we need an interior decorator.
因为为了时尚摄影 这地方需要弄得华丽点 Because the place needs to look perfect for the InStyle shoot.
宝贝 相信我 Babe, trust me.
记得你开始是多么不想去参加名人舞会 Remember how you didn't wanna go on Celebrity Dance Off at first?
想想你的粉丝 Now think of all the fans you have.
差点忘记了 马里奥·洛佩兹有一个纪念日晚会 ! I almost forgot, Mario Lopez is having a Memorial Day party.
我告诉他我们要去 I told him we're in.
事实上 Actually, I was thinking about going
这周末我想去参加我的大学重聚会 to my high school reunion that weekend.
好吧 如果你去 那我也去 Well, if you're going, I'm going, too.
真的？嗯 Really? Yeah.
那敢情好 All right.
米娅 亲爱的 有电话 是路默儿 Mia, love, phone call. It's Rumer.
我操 让我跟她说 Shit, let me talk to her.
你怎么抢我的设计 骚货？ What's with you jacking my style, bitch?
想喝点什么 克里斯多夫？ Anything I can get for you, Christopher?
早上好啊 各位同事、各位口爆娘！ Morning, co-workers and cock-jerkers!
雷吉 来一发啊 Reggie, give me some love.
小伙儿挺精神呀 硬条 Looking good, Stifler.
姑娘们 最好工作勤快点 Ladies, better be working hard,
因为你们的长相 你们会被炒鱿鱼的 you weren't hired for your looks.
事实上 你会 Actually, you were.
你不会 Not you.
真的吗？ Seriously?
鲍伯 你在撸什么？ Bob, what are you doing here?
你不知道他们爆了你菊花？ Don't you know they fired your ass?
什么？ What?
我正在爆你菊花 I'm just fucking with you.
是我吗？ Or am I?
嘿！ Hey!
美女 来杯咖啡怎么样 Coffee for the pretty lady?
好啊 谢谢 Sure, thanks.
如果你想要加奶精 要告诉我哦 Let me know if you want some creamer with that.
嘿 你好吗？ Hello, you. How are you?
“我很好 硬条 因为你是最棒的 "I'm good, Stifmeister, 'cause you know what?
因为你是最棒的” 'Cause you're the best."
“我是最棒的…” “嗯 你是最…” "I am the best." "Yes, you are the..."
“我爱死你了 要不我下面给你吃吧” "You know, I love you so much that I'm going to just have some fun down here."
"耶 耶…" "Yeah, yeah..."
- 你在搞毛呢？ - 我操！ - What the hell are you doing? - Jesus Christ!
我去 对不起 杜赖斯旺米先生 我刚刚 我刚刚… Shit, sorry, Mr. Duraiswamy It's... I was just...
- 什么？ - 好了 它干净了 - Huh? - That's good, it's all clean.
我告诉过你打印好晨会文件并放在我的桌子上 I told you to print out the morning numbers and put them on my desk,
你却把这当你家？ and you're making yourself at home?
- 不是 我只是想… - “我只是想…” - No, I just thought... - "I just thought..."
我不是花钱让你来想的 你是一个临时工 I don't pay you to think. You are a temp.
是的 对于这个问题 我觉得公司并没有发现我的潜力 Yeah, about that. I feel like I'm being way underutilized here.
真的是你说的那样？ You do, do you?
谢谢你告诉我你的感受 Thank you for telling me how you feel.
你要不要知道我的感受？ Do you mind if I tell you how I feel?
我觉得刚刚你应该意识到你就是个二货 I feel the sooner you realize that you're the bitch,
而不是老板 not the boss,
你最好变聪明点 the better off you will be.
我操你妹 你说什么？ Fucker. What was that?
没什么 Nothing!
没什么 杜赖斯旺米先生 Nothing, Mr. Duraiswamy.
我操你妹 Fucker!
我们还没有讨论整个 You know, we still haven't discussed the whole
浴缸事件 bathtub incident.
那事啊 Huh? That? That's...
别在意那事 That“ Don't worry about that.
好吧 我是说 你懂的 很明显 Well, I mean, you know, obviously,
我宁愿那事 I would prefer it if I was the one
如果我是那个让你胡思乱想的人 那么… that made you feel that way, but...
我知道你的想法 I know how you feel.
每次我网购时 我敲出"Amazon" Every time I want to shop online and I start typing "Amazon,"
"amazingcollegesluts.com"就弹了出来 "amazingcollegesluts.com" pops up.
Amazing什么站？ Amazing what?
好吧 你懂的 很明显 Okay, look, obviously
我们俩人需要多一点激情 we need to have more fun together.
我保证 这周末 I promise you, this weekend,
将会有很多吉姆&米歇尔时光 好吗？ there is going to be plenty of Jim and Michelle time, okay?
嘿！ Hey!
嗨 宝贝 Hello, sweetheart.
最近好吗？ How are you?!
- 看到你们真高兴 - 嗨 老爸 - It's so good to see you. - Hey, Dad.
嗨 儿子 过来 Hello, son! Come here.
嗨！嗨！ Hi! Hi!
看看他是谁 No! Look who that is!
看看这个小捣蛋 我的天啊 Look at this big bruiser! My goodness!
- 他长大了 - 看看他！ - He has grown. - Look at him! Huh?
还穿着纸尿裤呢 Someone's got a little poopy diaper.
吉姆？ Jim?
我不敢相信竟然是你 I can't believe it's you.
你不记得我了吗？ You don't remember me, do you?
记得每周二的天线宝宝吗？ Remember Teletubby Tuesdays?
卡拉？ Kara?
天哪 My God.
天啊 你都不是一个小孩子了 What? You're not a kid any more.
我早就不需要婴儿保姆了 It's been a long time since I needed a babysitter.
我不敢相信你长这么大了 I can't believe how much you've grown up.
谢谢 Thanks!
明天是我18岁生日 It's actually my 18th birthday tomorrow.
18岁了 Eighteen,
你要来参加我的生日晚会 You should come to my party.
额 Uh...
谢谢 不行 我… 可能有点困难 Thank you, no. I... Yeah, that might be difficult.
拜托 我真的很想你来 Please, I want you to come so bad.
嗨 卡拉 我们走吧 Hey, Kara! We gotta go.
好的 别急 Okay, relax.
那是AJ 不要再说了 That's AJ. Don't ask.
希望明天我能见到你 Hopefully I will see you tomorrow.
- 什么？ - 那二货是谁？ - What? - Who the fuck was that?
嗨 宝贝 Hey, sweetie.
嘿 Hey.
跟你说话的是谁 Who were you talking to?
邻居的孩子 That was just the kid next door.
嘿 我的老朋友 Hello, my old friends.
我想过把它们扔掉 I thought about throwing them out,
但是对它们有太多的感情 but they just have too much sentimental value.
呵呵 Yeah.
吉姆 吉姆 吉姆 Jim, Jim, Jim.
我记得以前你还是个小孩 You know, I can remember when you were just a little guy.
现在 你都有了自己的小孩 And now you've got your own little guy.
我明白 I know.
你知道他将来会长大成骚年… And before you know it, he's gonna be a teenager...
你将来要教他打手枪 And you'll be teaching him about masturbation
什么能做 什么不能做 and, you know, all the do's and all the don'ts
告诉他一些关于小鸡鸡的事情 that have to do with the little guy's weenie.
对吗 好的 Right? Okay?
我希望 未来他将是一个新时代好骚年 Hopefully, it'll be more of a bratwurst by the time he's a teenager...
好吧 爸爸 我知道 但是我想… Okay, Dad, I get it. ...but I'm just...
好了 你还有好多事要处理 Well, these are things you're gonna have to deal with.
我了解 只是他才2岁 I understand. It's just, you know, he's two.
好吧 或许你还有些时间 Well, yeah, maybe you've got time, but..
我还不想谈他的小鸡鸡… So, you know, I just, I'd rather not talk about his penis.
近来身体还好吗？爸爸 我很好 How you doing, Dad? I'm good.
真的？你怎么找乐子？ 你看看影片？ Yeah? What are you doing for fun? You seen any movies lately?
你知道的 你妈妈和我有很多影片 Well, you know, your mother and I did go to a lot of movies.
好吧… Well...
她已经去世三年了 爸爸 You know, it has been three years since she passed, Dad.
应该有一个跟你一块看电影的人 There's gotta be someone in town you can see a movie with.
我已经有你了 我们今晚就去看场电影 就你跟我 I have you now. We'll see a movie tonight, you and me.
今晚？ Tonight?
我已经约了基友了 Well, I made plans with the guys,
今晚在酒吧碰面 to meet up with them tonight at the bar....
但是… But... Yeah, yeah...
但是我不去也行 我明天再去 But I don't need to do that. I can do that tomorrow.
不 不 不 不 不 这是为什么你来这里 不是吗 No. No, no, no, no. This is why you're in town, isn't it?
不 不 不 你去吧 我没事 No, no, no. You go. I'll be fine.
我今晚就准备呆在这 I was just planning on staying in tonight
读读书 看看报 and, you know, doing a little reading.
不 不是这些 不是 不是 Not this. No. No.
我记得我读过一些有趣的文章 Although, I do remember reading a very interesting article
有关巴西人的 on something Brazilian.
儿子 这几页粘在一起了 Boy, these pages are all stuck together here.
好吧 I got it.
凯文 Kev.
嘿 Hey!
- 来一发不？ - 吉姆 - What's up, man? - Jim.
嘿 各位基佬 Hey, guys!
奥兹 就是他了 Oz. There he is.
你终于来了 You made it.
我错过了你的婚礼 我不能错过今晚 Hey, I missed your wedding, I wasn't gonna miss this.
嘿 伙计 还好吗 朋友 Hey, buddy. What's up, pal?
见到你真开心 Good to see you. Yeah, man.
嘿 凯文 Hey, Kev!
看上去不错嘛 看看 Looking good, look at you!
别摸啦 拜托 Stop it. Come on.
先生们 Gentlemen.
芬奇？芬奇！ Finch? Finch!
天哪 见到你很开心 吉姆 My God! It great to see you, James.
根本没变嘛 吉姆 Changed at all, Jim.
见到你真开心 伙计 Good to see you, pal.
我以为你来不了呢 I didn't think you were gonna make it.
芬奇 混得怎么样？ Finch, how are you, man?
在北京遇到点麻烦 我就去了迪拜 So, after my troubles in Beijing, I just moved to Dubai,
然后我卷入了一起地下赌场事件 and then I got all caught up in the world of underground baccarat.
与非洲部落生活了一段时间 Spent the rest of '09 living with this African tribe.
他们让我成为部落的一员 They made me an honorary tribesman.
伤得很严重嘛 Whoa, that looks like it hurt.
确实伤得严重呀 凯文 It looks like that because it did hurt, Kevin.
从那时起 我就骑自行车穿越南美洲 Since then, I've just been biking through South America.
那么 基本上 你是这地球上最有趣的人了 So, basically, you are the most interesting man in the world.
耶 让我猜猜 Yeah. Let me guess,
你们在这重聚是吗？ you guys are here for the reunion, huh?
对的 99届的 You got it. Class of '99.
我以前见过你吗？ Haven%I seen you before?
是的 我是电视播音员 Yeah, I'm on TV.
不 不是说你 是你 No, not you. You.
你看上去很面熟 'Cause, your face, you're just so familiar.
这是你 对不？ Yeah! Yeah, this is you, right?
伙计 娜迪娅！ Man, Nadia!
继续 继续 坏男孩 More, more, you bad boy!
我以为这事烟消云散了 你怎么… I swear I had these all taken down. How did you...
你射多少次了 Yeah. How many times did you pre-ejaculate again?
别管他 Leave him alone.
我打赌那时你们都是处男吧 I bet you were all desperate virgins back then.
塞琳娜·维加 Selena Vega.
面前这位是塞琳娜·维加 稍等 塞琳娜… That's Selena Vega in front of us. Wait, wait, wait, Selena...
别吵 米歇米乐队的朋友？ Hold on, Michelle's friend from band?
是的 You got it.
我的天啊 对不起 我没认出你 My God. I'm sorry I didn't recognize you.
你看起来 You look
不一样了 different.
好了 我一会儿再来 好吗？ Well, next round's on me, okay, guys?
嗨 乐队少女？ Hey, that chick was in band?
这周末真是度日如年 This is the first long weekend I have had in a while
所以我要珍惜它 so I wanna make it count.
我想要一个清静的地方 那里放满了美酒 I want the place spotless, and I want it filled with booze.
并且我希望你不在旁边 And I wanna make sure you're not around on Sunday night,
因为我想带一些基友来 'cause I plan on bringing some ass back from the reunion,
我希望你不在家 知道吗？ and I wanna tap that without you there. You got it?
你要明白 首先 斯蒂芬 这是我的房子 You know, first of all, Steven, it's my house.
我让你呆在这 你应该感到幸运 You're lucky I'm letting you stay here.
你让我找工作 我找着一个 Look, you wanted me to get a job, so I got one.
至少让我这周末能呆在这 At least let me have the house for the weekend.
我的地盘我做主 My house, my rules.
关于今晚 如果你不想冒着风险回家 And as for tonight, if you don't wanna risk coming home
不想多看一眼你的妈妈 and seeing more of your mother than you'd like,
我建议你就呆在外面 I suggest you stay out late.
我勒个去 Gross.
那真是… That was really...
嘿 吧台小骚货 给我来杯啤酒 Hey, bar wench, can I get a Budweiser?
啤酒没了 Beer down.
你们这群混蛋们在这干什么？ What the fuck are you fuckers doing here?
你做到了？做毛了？ You made it! Made what?
你说什么？ What are you talking about?
你什么意思？ 我们给你发了邮件 What do you mean? We sent you an e-mail
关于聚会前提前几天在一起 about getting together a couple of days before the reunion.
你们知道吗？我可能把硬条名字敲错了 You know what? I must have put two F's in "Stifmeister."
什么？ 不好意思 What? I'm sorry.
敲错了？你这个无赖！ Two F's? You dumbass!
凯文 Kev!
嘿 凯文 你脸上那是私处么？ Hey, Kevin, is that a pussy on your face?
我去 Come on!
耶 耶 耶 Yeah, yeah, yeah!
漂亮 Nice.
硬条 你看起来帅呆了 So, Stifler, you're looking sharp.
这些日子都干嘛了 What are you up to these days?
我在JBH环球公司工作 I work at JBH Global.
那是一家大公司啊 That's a big-time firm.
什么职位 What do you do over there?
你懂的 You know,
投资有关的职位 investment stuff.
人们想知道为什么我们金融危机了 People wonder why our financial system's falling apart.
围巾不错 你终于说话了 Nice scarf. I see you finally came out of the closet.
你妈妈怎么样了 硬条 How is your mother, Stifler?
你离我妈远点 操你妹 You stay away from my mom, shitbreak.
好吧 事都过去了 Okay, boys, the past is the past.
我们可以既往不咎嘛 We can bury the hatchet here, huh?
耶 让它去吧 Yeah, fuck it.
嘿 齐B小短裙！给我与我的基友们来点Jagerbombs酒！ Hey, short-shorts! A round of Jägerbombs for me and my boys!
滚开 硬条 Go fuck yourself, Stifler.
我操 她知道我的名字 How the hell does she know my name?
Lard Arms？ Lard Arms?
我去 硬条 Jesus, Stifler.
谈谈丑小鸭变天鹅？ Talk about an ugly duckling turning into a swan, right?
让我看看 Let me see that.
摸摸她 毛茸茸的奶头 大大的胸部 Fingered her, hairy nips, huge boobs.
就是她！ There she is!
含着我的小弟弟 The créme de my cock.
口交·利普斯汀 Blowjob Lipstein.
她叫隆妮·利普斯汀 硬条 Her given name was Loni, Stifler.
她曾经叫我大棒硬条 She used to call me Big Stiffy.
她就是这样说的 She was the mouth that got away.
马上打烊了 Last call!
结束了？等等 伙计们 Already? Wait here, guys.
毕业生许愿列表 ! Man, the Senior Wish List.
许愿列表？ 我都不记得了 Wish List? I don't remember that.
耶 伙计 它是纪念册中最俗气的部分 Yeah, man. It's that cheesy page in the yearbook
我们必须在这写下自己的愿望 where we all had to write wishes about our future.
什么 你写了什么俗气的愿望？ 我们看看 What, did you write something cheesy? Let's see.
“克里斯·奥兹 希望执教他儿子的曲棍球队” "Chris Ostreicher. Hopes to coach his son's lacrosse team."
这真是一件美好的事啊 ! Isn't that the sweetest thing?
好吧 Well,
我觉得我现在应该成家了 I guess I thought I'd have a family by now.
好吧 你想听听你写了什么吗？芬奇 All right, you wanna hear what you wrote, Finch?
听听看 I do.
“保罗·芬奇希望找到一段轰轰烈烈的爱情” "Paul Finch hopes to find le grand amour."
是的 真爱 Yes, true love.
唉 我曾经找到一段你们所说的真挚的爱情 Alas, I have yet to find what you would call a real relationship.
对 因为硬条妈妈没有珍惜 Right, because banging Stifler's mom didn't count.
好了 我们看看你写了什么 凯文 All right, let's see what you got, Kev.
“凯文·麦尔斯 希望过着逍遥快活的日子” "Kevin Myers. Hopes to still be living it up"
“与美丽的维琪·拉瑟姆一起” "with the amazing Vicky Lathum."
我去！维琪！啥？ Man! Vicky! What?
我想你老婆读到这个一定很开心 I am sure your wife would be very happy to read that.
什么？我那时跟维琪约会来着 What? I was dating Vicky at the time.
让我看看我写了什么 Let me see what I put.
“吉姆·莱文斯坦” "Jim Levenstein"
“希望拥有瑞奇·马丁一样的传奇生活” "hopes to have the sex life of Ricky Martin."
我猜你那时不知道他是一个基佬 So, I'm assuming you didn't know he was gay back then.
吉姆 你能找到个妹子那是件好事 Jim, it's a good thing you found a woman
破处之旅还是跟一群乐队妹子呢 with the sex drive of a dozen groupies. M?
我是说 你可能比我们中任何一人性经验都丰富 I mean, you're probably having more sex than any of us.
可能吧 Probably, you know.
敢情你们都口渴了 斯蒂夫勒·克劳斯为您服务 Hope you guys are thirsty. Stifler Claus is here.
哇硬条 是不是点得太多了 Whoa! Stifler, that's a little too much, don't you think?
伙计 找回你男子汉的自信 Dude, find your balls and return them to your sack.
我们继续这个聚会 I say we keep this party going.
这个周末痛快地玩一场 I say we make this weekend our bitch.
我们重逢于此 继续做那些曾经做过的疯狂事 We could party together, do all the same shit that we used to do together.
就好比往昔 It'll be just like old times.
太他妈对了 这就是为什么我在这里！ Hell yes! That's why I'm here.
没单身女郎 没家庭主妇 No Bachelorette, no Real Housewives.
事实上 13年了 你终于有一次机会疯狂了 Thing is, you only get one chance at your 13th reunion.
我其实想花点时间陪老婆 I was kind of hoping to spend a little time with the wife.
操你！ Fuck! Dude!
吉姆? 搞毛啊? James? What? Come on!
我是说我加入 当然我要加入了 干嘛 不信啊 I mean, I'm in. Of course I'm in. Come on, what?
爽 爽啊！ Yeah! Yeah.
好吧 伙计们 我希望你们都买好保险了 Then, gentlemen, I hope you're all wearing protection,
因为这周末 我们将疯狂地搞一把！ because this weekend, we're gonna fuck shit up!
- 干杯！ - 好！ - Cheers! - Yeah! All right!
怎么回事？ What the fuck?
我操 Holy shit.
嘿！ Hey!
嗨！ Hi.
发生了什么 What happened?
我真不记得了 I don't really remember.
我要批评你了 你昨晚让他喝多少了 I blame you. How much did you let him drink last night?
其实 没多少 Honestly, not that much.
好吧 在去湖边之前 我们要清理一下 Well, we gotta clean this up before we go to the lake.
什么 湖？ What? The lake?
是的 湖啊 你出的主意啊 Yeah, the lake, dude. It was your idea.
我们讨论了一整晚 We discussed all this last night.
湖 当然 湖？ The lake! Yes, of course, the...
嘿 吉姆 把厨用纸巾递给我 行吗？ Hey, Jim, can you hand me those paper towels, please?
这个纸巾 就是那个 Those paper towels? The paper ones.
厨用纸巾 吉姆 The paper towels, Jim.
吉姆！ Jim!
厨用纸巾 The paper towels!
真是抱歉 I'm really sorry.
吉姆 你知道那个盖子是透明的 对吧？ Jim, you do realize that the lid is see-through, right?
好眼力 Good eye.
这是我孩子的父亲 That's the father of my child.
搞毛呢 Come on!
嘿 走路看道 我去 Hey, watch it! Okay, jeez.
我错了吗 这个地方在我们年轻时有很多乐趣？ Am I wrong, or was this place a lot more fun when we were younger?
没错 我也觉得 现在我们老了 No, no. I think it's the same. We're just old now.
是不是那时的我们和这些孩子一样令人讨厌 But were we just as obnoxious as these kids back in the day?
当然不是 No.
我们 我们这一代 我们过去更成熟点 Us, our generation, we were more mature.
嘿 估计们 来看看啊 Hey, guys, check it out.
爱私处的鲨鱼！ Vagina shark!
他碰到我私处了！ He touched my snatch!
我曾经也干过 I take that back.
天啊 My God.
伙计 你们就这么一直看么？ Fellas, do you gotta stare?
耶 耶 Yeah. Yeah.
是的 我们就是这么盯着看 Yes, we do need to stare.
吉姆能更明显一点么？ Could Jim be any more obvious?
让我说下 Give him a break.
不可能每天你都能看到一个模特在身边 I mean, it's not every day you get to see a model walking around off the page.
近期在吉姆的家里 There hasn't been a whole lot of sexy time
有一段没有爱爱的时光了 in the Levenstein household lately.
为什么没？ Why not?
不知道 我是一个母亲了 I don't know. I'm a mom now.
别开玩笑了 Please!
你是一个母亲并不意味着 Just because you're a mom doesn't mean
你只一个母亲 there isn't a whole other side to you.
想想以前露营的时光吧 Hey, remember that one time at band camp,
当我们互相舔对方身上的奶油… when we licked whipped cream off each other's...
对 对 我记得 Yes! Yes! I remember.
我们要保密 好吗？ Let's keep that in the past, though, okay?
她正在… She's...
你必须那样解开 要不会有一条白线的 Yeah, well, you gotta do that, or else you're gonna get tan lines.
胸部 胸部啊. 奥兹 快看！ Sideboob. There... Sorry. Sideboob. Ozzy, look!
别逗了 Okay! Come on!
你真走运 奥兹 You're a lucky man, Oz.
伙计们 我觉得都非常 Come on, guys. I think we're all pretty
走运 lucky.
看 那是海瑟吗？ Wait, is that Heather?
对 是她 Yeah, it is.
海瑟 Heather.
克里斯！ Chris!
嘿 Hey.
你在这干嘛 What are you doing here?
我想我们想法一样 I guess we had the same idea, huh?
克里斯 这是罗恩 我男朋友 Chris, this is Ron, my boyfriend.
克里斯·奥兹 罗恩·道格拉斯 见到你很高兴 Chris Ostreicher, Ron Douglas. It's a pleasure to meet you.
你好 How do you do?
罗恩是我们医院的心脏病医生 Ron's a cardiologist at my hospital.
心脏病医生 A cardiologist.
我朋友叫我罗恩医生 罗恩大夫 或是罗恩 Yeah. And, hey, listen, my friends call me Doctor Ron, D-Ron or just Dron.
看你喜欢怎么叫吧 So you feel free.
好的 Okay.
嘿 呆B Hey, fuckface!
合唱团少女 哇 Choir chick! Whoa!
你好 硬条 Nice to see you, too, Stifler.
这个鸟人是谁？ Who's this douche?
我是她男朋友 I'm her boyfriend.
你们俩正在拍拖 So, you two are banging,
你们俩曾经在拍拖 and you two used to bang.
你们三个一定很尴尬 This must be awkward for all of you.
好了好了 It is now.
这小流氓拿了我的胸罩 That little shit took my top!
还给我 Give it back!
那是我的女朋友 Um, that's my girlfriend.
看看是啥 看看是啥 What's this? What's this?
嘿 伙计 你知道你在干什么嘛？ Hey, kid! What do you think you're doing?
嘿 快 快 我们快过去 Hey! Come on, come on, let's go!
我去 伙计 这并不明智 Come on, guys. Not cool!
你这蠢蛋想干嘛？ What're you assholes gonna do about it?
好了 事情变得有趣了 Well, that was interesting.
好吧 我们不应该干些什么吗 Well, should we do something?
我们要干些什么呢 What are we gonna do? Come on.
同意 没必要对他们低声下气 Agreed. There's no need to stoop to their level.
我去他妹 Fuck that!
我知道他们要去哪 I know exactly where they're going.
硬条？ Stifler?
他在哪儿？ Where the hell is he?
伙计 这看上去很傻很天真 Guys, this is stupid.
我不想让米歇儿在那等 我们能掉头回去吗？ I really can't keep Michelle waiting. Can we just head back?
别急 让硬条上吧 Hold on. Let Stifler do his thing.
这就是我所担心的 Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of.
你们看清他们的脸了吗 Did you guys see the look on their faces?
酷毙了 Fucking awesome.
他太牛B了 He is crazy.
我觉得其中有一个是卡拉的儿时保姆 I think one of those guys was Kara's babysitter.
哪个 Which one?
那个长得像亚当·桑德勒的 You know, the one that looked like Adam Sandler.
硬条最好别干疯狂的事情 Stifler better not do anything crazy.
他要做的就是教训他们 All he's gonna do is tell them off.
我觉得他想把那些摩托艇绑在一起 I thought he was gonna cut their jet skis free.
在他们防晒油里尿点尿怎么样？ What happened to pissing in their suntan lotion?
他告诉他准备偷他们的啤酒 Hold on. He told me he was going to steal their beer.
硬条 Stifler.
等等 他在那 Wait. There he is.
好的 All right.
他在拿他们的啤酒了 Yep, he's taking their beer.
好样的 快点 硬条 快点 All right, hurry up, Stifler. Come on.
他在干嘛？ What is he doing?
- 不 不 不… - 等等 - No, no, no, no, no, no, no. - Wait.
- 我去 - 我去 - God! - Oh, my God.
硬条 我去 Steven! No!
我去 God.
你真的认为卡拉今晚会给你？ Yo, so you really think Kara's gonna give it up tonight?
她在等到18岁呢 你算算吧 She was waiting until she turns 18. You do the math.
我能算到的就是你用你的长处弥补她的不足 The only math I know is you've added your penis to her vagina zero times.
詹尼弗不是一个讨厌的人 Jennifer's not a skank.
伙计 她是 Dude, yes, she is.
我快要吐了 I'm gonna throw up.
我去 好恶心 My God. That's disgusting.
搞毛呢 What're you doing?
快点 Hurry up. Come on!
喝光它 喝光它吧 Down it, man! Just chug it! Chug it!
继续 继续 别漏了 Do it. Do it! Don't puss out.
别漏了 Don't puss out!
我们走 Let's just go. Let's go.
快 快 快 Go, go. Go, go, go, go. Go, go.
再来一瓶？ You want another?
没问题 For sure.
伙计们 我告诉你们 今晚就是她一年前答应我的那一晚 Guys, I'm telling you, tonight is gonna be the night she promised me a year ago.
操 What the...
嘿 屎货！ Hey! Dipshit!
我去 No!
我去 No, no!
硬条 你疯了么 Stifler! Are you crazy?
天啊 硬条 刚偷啤酒时 你都干嘛了 Jesus, Stifler, what happened to just stealing their beer?
这样很好 不是么 I know, this is so much better, right?
啊？ What?
你刚把他们摩托艇弄坏了 You destroyed their jet skis.
他们的艇溅水到我们身上 They splashed us.
然后呢 So...
伙计们 这多爽啊 Come on, guys. That was pretty funny.
在高中时可能很爽 现在可是在犯罪 Maybe in high school it was funny. Now it's just a felony.
别被抓住就行 Only if we get caught.
耶 我支持你 是该教训下这群孩子了 Yeah, you gotta admit, it was nice giving those kids a little payback.
可能这将有利于他们学会尊重他们的学长 Maybe it was good that they will learn to respect their elders.
没错！ Exactly!
等我一会儿 我去找点手纸 Hey, give me a second, I gotta find some toilet paper.
真恶心 That's gross.
嗨 99届的毕业生们 What's up, Class of '99-ers?
天啊！维琪！ My God! Vicky!
嗨 Hi!
嘿！ Hey!
不敢相信你在这里 I can't believe you're here.
我昨晚从纽约飞过来的 Yeah, I flew in from New York last night.
我跟父母分开住了 I've been hanging outwith my parents.
他们早些时候提到过你 They were actually just talking about you earlier.
真的 说什么了 Really? About what?
讲起以前他们抓住在大瀑布亲热的我们 That time they caught us making out at the Falls.
是啊 Right.
大瀑布 不经常去了 The Falls. Wow, I haven't been there in forever.
米歇尔以前经常爱去那儿 Michelle used to love going to the Falls.
那地方就是浪漫之地 The place is romance incarnate.
我的第一份工作就在那儿 Hell, yeah. I got my first rim job at the Falls.
好吧 Okay.
嘿 宝贝 Hey, sweetie.
嗯 宝贝 Mmm, sweetie pie!
嗨 Hello.
他们都说要去大瀑布 So, the guys were all talking about heading over to the Falls.
那吉姆和米歇尔的两人时光怎么办？ Well, what about Jim and Michelle time?
我在想 它将非常浪漫 I was thinking it could be kind of romantic.
我很想去 但是你爸整天都陪着埃文 Well, I'd love to, but your dad has been with Ev all day.
是的 没错 Yeah, no, you're right.
好吧 我们回家吧 Okay. Yeah, we'll just, we'll go home.
不 你去那玩吧 No, no. You go and have fun.
行吗？行 Really? Yeah.
当你回到家 希望你做好了准备 Just, when you get home, you just better be ready.
最好做好了准备 You better be ready.
我已经做好了准备 I'm ready.
硬条 你知道怎么走么 Um, Stifler, do you know where you're going?
我知道那地方 就像我知道我的菊花在哪一样 I know this place like the back of my cock.
那像一个高中聚会 It looks like a high school party.
有学生妹哦 With high school chicks.
开搞了 It's on.
注意点 硬条 你知道她们只有你年龄的一半 Watch it, Stifler. You know these girls are, like, half your age.
我知道 I know.
今天只有我 还是这些妹子都有一些淫荡呢！ Okay, is it just me, or do girls today seem a bit sluttier?
很明显 Definitely.
少年性爱 多彩的聚会 赤裸的照片 Teen sex, rainbow parties, sexting nude photos...
我看到了一切 卡蒂 I saw it all on Kathie Lee & Hoda.
生日快乐 Happy birthday!
吉姆？ Jim?
卡拉 你来了！ Kara. You came!
嘿！ Hey!
不好意思 Sorry.
生日快乐 Happy birthday.
这是那个婴儿保姆？ My God, is this the babysitter?
你的声音仿佛在说我是一个超级英雄 You make it sound like I'm a superhero.
比飞驰的手推车更快 比迷你小型车更强劲 Faster than a speeding stroller, more powerful than a mini-van.
我告诉过你他是一个有趣的人 I told you he was funny.
他好萌啊 He's adorable.
嘿 吉姆 你想把我介绍给你的朋友们吗？ Hey, Jim. Do you wanna introduce me to your friends?
不想 No.
美女 这是硬条 Girls, this is Stifler.
你怎么认识我最好的朋友吉姆的？ So, how do you know my best friend Jim?
吉姆曾经是我的婴儿保姆 Jim used to be my babysitter.
嘿 我想找姐妹们喝点 Hey, I was just gonna do a birthday shot.
谁要跟我一块去么 Do you guys wanna do one with me?
不 不 不 No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
耶 好 好 好 Yeah. Ye& yes, yes.
我不应该 我们应该 我们应该 I shouldn't. Yes, we should, yes, we should.
我从没试过野战 Never have I ever had sex in public.
真的？你们都没？ Really? None of you?
拜托 海瑟 你都没试过一回 Come on, Heather. You haven't drank once.
你真是故做正经 You are such a prude!
或者也许我从不野战 Or maybe I've just never had sex in public.
好吧 我从不放纵自己 Okay, never have I ever been in an orgy.
他们真是乖宝宝 They were really nice guys.
不管你信不信 这是我的第一次高中晚会 Believe it or not, this is my first high school party.
你还没错过很多机会 You didn't miss much.
我总是喜欢宅 听听广播电台 I always preferred staying at home, throwing on a little NPR.
你比我闷骚多了 You were so much cooler than me.
我闲时写点《X-档案》爱好者小说 I sat around writing X-Files fan fiction.
为了好玩 我把《卡拉马助夫兄弟们-陀斯妥也夫斯基》翻成拉丁文 I translated The Brothers Karamazov into Latin for fun.
这太给力了 That is so sexy.
确实 You know it is.
我一直做建筑师 I've only been working as an architect
从离开家开始的几年里 for the last few years, and from home.
你在一家公司呆了十几年了 You've been with the same company for over ten years.
给力感觉一切都是围着你转 That's awesome, it sounds like everything is working out for you.
嗯 一切都还好 特别是工作方面 Yeah. I mean, everything's good, especially work-wise.
但是现在我们回到这个地方 But now that we're back here in the town,
看看我们所有的老朋友 and we see, like, all of our old friends,
都结婚了并且有了孩子 and everyone's married and having kids,
眼前的情景让我思考着自己的未来 it just makes me, you know, think.
还好吗 凯文？ You okay there, Kev?
我一般没这么喝过 Yeah, I just don't normally drink like this.
你在跟我说你从没有喝醉过 You're telling me you haven't gotten a little bit tipsy
在那次迈尔斯家庭酒会上？ on Myers Family Wine Night?
我看到有人关注我的微博 I see somebody's been stalking my Facebook page.
至少我不会把自己吃饭的照片放上去 At least I don't take pictures of my meals.
现在谁关注谁这是？ Who's stalking who now?
好吧 我看过你的微博一两回了 Okay, so I've been by your page maybe once or twice.
你在跟亚历山大拍拖？ You were dating someone named Alessandro?
他应该明白他不会拍内衣照 对吧？ You know, he does know that he can take a picture with his shirt on, right?
亚历山大早吹了 Alessandro is long gone.
结束了 啊？ It's over, huh?
好了 喝完我必须回家去了 Okay, after this drink, I have to go home.
吉姆 Jim.
那有个18岁的热辣小姑娘 你还给她当过保姆 There's a smoking hot 18-year-old girl over there that you used to babysit.
不准备搞搞？ And you're not going to do anything about that?
需要我提醒你我已经跟米歇尔结婚了么？ Need I remind you that I am married to Michelle?
对的 Exactly.
伙计 那些年轻小姑娘 她们对做爱懂得多了 Dude, these young chicks, they know some crazy shit in the bedroom.
你能从卡拉那学点什么 You could take what you learn from Kara,
把学到的带回家 然后跟米歇尔一起试试 bring it home, and apply it to Michelle.
你很在意你的婚姻 不是吗 吉姆？ You do care about your marriage, don't you, Jim?
你说得什么话 硬条 What are you talking about, Stifler?
我不会不忠于我老婆的 I'm not gonna cheat on my wife!
拜托 我可是当父亲的人了 I'm a father for Christ's sakes.
那好吧 Yeah, that's perfect.
耶 小姑娘有恋父情节 继续装B吧 伙计 Yeah, chicks love a father figure. Keep playing that card, dude.
不是装B 我说的是事实 It's not a card, it's the truth.
嘿 嗨 Hey. Hi.
你们在聊些什么 What are you guys talking about?
主要就是 You know... Just“
吉姆说照顾你的那段时光非常有趣 Jim was just saying how much fun he had taking care of you.
嘿 美女们 为什么我们不给他们点私人时间 Hey, ladies, why don't we give them some time to catch up?
耶 走吧 Yeah, after you.
不用 没必要吧 我们应该混在一起 No, that's not necessary. We should all hang out together.
为什么不呢… 硬条 只是… Why don't we all... Stifler, just...
做为父亲一样 Be her daddy.
硬条 硬条 Stifler? Stifler!
听起来像你与米娅有着喜爱冒险的生活方式 So, sounds like you and Mia have quite an adventurous lifestyle.
有时有点太冒险了 Sometimes a little too adventurous.
海瑟可是个大保守派 Well, Heather's a bit more on the conservative side.
但是 呃… But, uh...
嘿！嗨 Hey! Hi.
但是 说实话 克里斯 我应该尝试着冒险 But, I gotta be honest, Chris, I could use a little adventure myself.
你想说什么 罗恩？ What are you getting at, Ron?
我的意思是说我不是当备胎的人 I'm just saying that usually I'm not one for swapping,
事实上你已经跟海瑟在一起了 but the fact that you've been with Heather already,
看上去都要成了 kind of makes it okay.
你认为呢？ So, what do you think?
她们会被冒险精神所吸引么？ Think they'd be into it?
玩你的了 拜托 开玩笑的 I'm kidding. Come on, I'm kidding!
说实话 我绝不能那样做 Seriously, I would never do that!
除非你想那么做 Unless you guys wanted to.
你真的到过所有南美洲国家？ So you've really been to every country in South America?
不 不 不是所有 No, no, not all of them.
并且我不认为法属圭亚那是一个国家 And I don't consider French Guiana a nation.
我记得 我等不及到毕业时再走 I remember, I couldn't wait till graduation
于是我最好离开这个小镇 为了让自己改头换面 so I could leave this town and reinvent myself.
你已经完全换了个人了 You have certainly reinvented yourself.
我不知道 I don't know.
我心中仍存在一个愿望 There's just a part of me that still wishes that
我还能探索这个世界 I could just explore the world, you know?
我着手做好一切 Be everything I set out to be.
你能成为你想变成的那个人 你只要下定决心 You can be whoever you wanna be. You just gotta be it.
做好准备了吗？耶 You wanna make out? Yeah.
你疯了吗？ 我喜欢《暮光之城》小说 Are you crazy? I love the Twilight books.
暮光之城新月是我的最爱 New Moon is my favorite.
也是我的最爱 Mine, too!
天哪 我竟然有相同的爱好 My God! We have, like, so much in common!
是的 是的 I know! I know!
准备好了么？ Wanna hit this?
还有更有意思的呢 In more ways than one.
我不知道这是谁 但是我真的现在非常忙 I don't know who this is, but I'm pretty fucking busy right now.
很抱歉打扰了 2条 So sorry to interrupt, Stafler.
残奥会今晚就结束了 Didn't realize the Special Olympics competed at night.
我去 Fuck.
这是在搞毛啊 What the hell's going on over there?
你在吸自己的小弟弟？ What, are you choking on your own dick?
没事 杜拉斯旺米先生 没事 Nothing, Mr. Duraiswamy, nothing.
有什么能为您效劳吗 先生 What can I do for you, sir?
鲍伯在收购会议上心脏病发作了 Bob from Acquisitions had a heart attack.
有个白痴告诉他他被炒鱿鱼了 Some idiot told him that he was fired.
他失控了 我不是很清楚 He flipped out, I don't know.
听着 我需要有人来完成他的工作 Listen, I need someone to finish his presentation.
我需要你周日就参与进来 要做好一切准备 明白？ I need you to go in on Sunday and get everything ready. Yes?
等等 周日 Wait, Sunday.
我要去参加重聚会的 I got my high school reunion.
开什么玩笑 Wow, how fun!
我要给董事长打电话 Yeah, no, I'll just call the chairman,
我要让他重新安排日程 and I'll get him to reschedule.
真的？ 那就太爽了！ Seriously? Hey, that would be awesome!
那他妈可笑了 你个傻蛋 天啊 我在干嘛？ That was a fucking joke, you moron. Jesus Christ, what am I doing?
我将亲自来摆平这事 You know what, I am gonna handle this myself.
不 不 不 不 听着 杜拉斯旺米先生 No. No, no, no, listen, Mr. Duraiswamy,
我能搞定 OK？ 我保证 我能搞定这事 I can do it, okay? I promise, I'll get it done.
别搞砸了 2条 Just don't fuck up, Stafler.
我叫硬条 It's Stifler.
嘿 美女 Dick! Hey, ladies...
美女? 他们摆平了 伙计 Ladies? They bailed, dude.
我去 Aw, fuck!
嘿 卡拉 今晚怎么回家 Hey, Kara, how are you getting home tonight?
AJ本应该开着我的车回来的 AJ was supposed to drive my car back,
但是他至今没出现 but he hasn't even shown up yet.
说了一堆关于摩托艇的莫名奇妙的理由 Some lame excuse about his jet skis.
你相信那个蠢人吗？ Can you believe that jerk?
你能不能 What about you?
你能不能带我回去 Will you take me?
拜托 我们去同一个地方 Come on! We're going to the same place.
再说 又不要你担什么风险 Besides, it wouldn't be responsible
我来开车 to let me drive in this condition.
同意了？ Right?
好吧 卡拉 Okay, Kara.
小心 小心 Hey! Whoa! Careful! Careful. Yeah.
我喜欢这歌 My God, I love this song.
这歌真不错 It's a good one.
这是不是最好的经典摇滚 Isn't classic rock the best?
经典摇滚？ 这是经典摇滚吗？ Classic rock? This is classic rock now?
卡拉 你应该多喝点水 Hey, you know, Kara, you should drink some more water.
我给你的水瓶放哪了 Where's that bottle I gave you?
在这儿 It's right here. Okay.
后面 In the back.
我去 对不起 Shit. Sorry. Sorry. There was a...
路中间有只松鼠 There was a little baby squirrel in the road, so...
这不是水 Whoa! Hey! Whoa! That's not water. Okay.
喝得真有点儿多了 It's a little too much now.
过了这么些年 你仍然在照顾我 I love how, after all these years, you're still taking care of me.
一日保姆 终生保姆 Well, you know, a babysitter's job never ends.
你知道我一直仰慕你 对吧 You knew I always had a crush on you, right?
不知道 No.
我想把第一次给你 I want you to be my first.
第一次？ Your first?
天啊 God. Okay. Um...
卡拉 听着 Kara, listen. Um...
贞洁是神圣的 你明白吗 A person's virginity is something sacred, you know?
你应该自爱为了未来的某人 You should save yourself for someone special.
你就是某人 You're special.
不 我不是 No! Not special.
我真的… You think? I really...
你在干什么 What are you doing?
嘿 你在干什么 Hey, what are you doing?
帮帮忙 没人会知道的 Come on. No one will ever find out.
我不认为… I don't know. I don't think...
你不觉得我漂亮吗？ You don't think I'm pretty?
不 你非常漂亮 卡拉 非常 非常漂亮 Huh? No! You're very pretty, Kara. You're very, very...
真的？是的 非常漂亮 Really? Yes, very pretty.
我… 非常漂亮 谢谢 But I... Very pretty. Thanks.
天啊 My God!
我操！ 怎么了？ Holy shit! What?
我勒个… 你在哪… My... Where did your...
来吧 Come on.
我找不到更好的生日礼物了 I can't think of a better birthday gift.
这个新爱疯4怎么样 What about the new iPhone?
加点小垂饰？ 尼基米娜的新专辑？ Huh? Maybe a little pendant? The new Nicki Minaj album?
不 好大的波！ No. No? Boobies.
官人 我要！ I want you! Whoa, whoa, whoa!
你不能…你不能这么做 You can't... Don't do that.
这样不好 不要… That's not good, don't...
快停下 Come on, stop
卡拉！卡拉！停下 Kara! Kara! Stop it.
我去 Shit!
我去 卡拉？ Shit. Kara?
卡拉？ Holy Jesus! Kara?
卡拉 卡拉 醒醒 卡拉 Kara! Kara! Please wake up, Kara!
卡拉 醒醒 卡拉 Kara, wake up. Kara!
你没事吧 Are you okay?
天哪 Jesus, God!
天啊 你还好吗 My God, are you all right?
嘿 嗨！ Hey, hi.
吉姆？ Jim?
我去 要悲剧了 What? This is crazy!
你没事吧 Are you all right?
没事 我很好 只是有点… Huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah I'm okay. I was just... Um...
我在找点东西 I was reaching for something.
没事 没事 Everything's okay. Everything's fine.
我不知你是不是听说了 什么？ I don't know if you've heard. Mmm?
你听说了吗 Did you hear?
我负责这次重聚会 I am in charge of the reunion.
很好… 耶 那很好. ! Yeah, no, that's... Yeah, that's right.
想好了一个关于90年代主题的计划 Got a whole '90s theme planned.
很好.. . That's...
我预约了Chumbawamba乐队 I booked Chumbawamba.
但是昨天合约取消了 Yeah. But the pricks cancelled yesterday.
这悲催的 但是你了解我的, Was a setback, but you know me,
"在哪倒下 就从哪爬起来" "I get knocked down but I get up again."
我看看发生了什么 My God! Okay, I see what's going on.
好了 Yep.
一会儿见 伙计 I'll see you later, buddy.
好吧 一会儿见 All right then, I'll see you.
我去 卡拉 卡拉 醒醒 Jesus, God. Kara. Kara, wake up.
我要小憩一会儿 什么？ I just need a nap. What?
卡拉 现在不是睡觉的时候 卡拉 醒醒 Kara, this isn't time for a nap. Kara, wake up.
现在不是睡觉的时候 This isn't napping time.
卡拉？我去 Kara? Shit.
不妙 大事不妙呀 God, this is bad. This is very, very bad.
怎么搞这么久？ What took you guys so long?
我们在找凯文 找不到他 We were looking for Kevin. Couldn't find him.
那个狗屁奥兹浪费了机会 Plus, that hot piece of ass Oz is banging got wasted,
所以我们必须扔下她了 so we had to drop her off.
你把他带来了？ You brought him?
当然 他们带我来的 Of course they brought me.
当你在中学忙于打飞机时 When you guys were busy jacking off in high school,
我每周末就练这个 I was running this drill every weekend.
看看我们能做点什么 Now, let's see what we are dealing with.
我勒个去 Holy shit!
加油 吉姆 Way to go, Jim.
嘘. 好吧 没事吧 硬条 OK？ 一切OK Shh. Okay, nothing happened, Stifler. Okay? Nothing happened.
快停下 Stop that!
对不起 I'm sorry.
吉姆 你丫要干嘛？ So, Jim, what do you wanna do?
不知道 I don't know.
我不能把她裸体扔在这 知道吗 I can't just leave her here naked, you know?
如果条子来了 并发现是我干的 I mean, if the cops come by and find out I'm involved,
我要悲了个剧了 I'm screwed.
我们二选一 That leaves us with two options.
我们弃下她或者把她偷偷送回去 We dump the body or we sneak her inside.
弃下不顾？这不科学 Dump the body? This isn't a mob hit.
好吧 稍等 Okay, wait a second.
我曾经无数次进过她的房间 I have been in her house a million times to babysit.
我能把她从后门偷偷送进去 I can totally sneak her in through the back door.
我需要你转移她父母的视线 I need you guys to distract her parents.
你确定能搞定么？ Do you think you can do that?
我是砖家 吉姆 相信我 我来摆平它 I'm an expert, Jim. Trust me. I got this shit.
晚上好 先生 Good evening, sir.
我朋友的车抛锚了 My friend's car broke down,
我想知道我们能不能用下你的电话打给AAA（汽车救援） and we were just wondering if we could use your phone to call AAA.
你是说你们连手机都没有？ You mean to tell me that none of you have cell phones?
我认识你 你曾经在名人舞会 My God, I know you. You were on Celebrity Dance Off.
是的 Yeah!
奥兹 Ostreicher.
是的 Yeah.
嘿 来 Hey, come on in.
挺顺利的 硬条 That was very smooth, Stifler.
收声 蠢货 Shut up, shitbreak.
我上回干这种事时 手机还没发明呢 The last time I did this, cell phones didn't exist.
我去 Shit!
老爸 Daddy.
老妈 老爸！ Look, Mom, Daddy!
我去 Shit!
我操 Fuck!
卡拉? Kara?
来找我 Gonna have to find me.
卡拉? Kara?
谢谢 雪兰达 你帮大忙了 Thank you, Sheranda. You've been very helpful.
我对你服务的评价是3A You get a Triple A-plus in my book.
你也保重 好的 再见 You take care, too. Okay, yeah, bye-bye.
AAA打通了 他们一会儿就来 So, that was AAA on the phone and they should be here in a jiffy.
这歌挺耳熟的 Does this song sound familiar?
你是非常棒的舞者 当你退役时 我感到很伤心 You were such a good dancer. I felt so bad when you got voted off.
谢谢夸奖 Thank you.
但是我仍然要说 你真是非常威武雄壮 But I have to say you're much sexier in person.
好了 停一下 苏珊 Okay. Calm down there, Susan.
伙计 她想跟你大干一场 伙计 Dude, she wants to fuck you big time, dude.
你得接招啊 没门 You got to hit that. No fucking way.
为了吉姆 伙计 别自私哦 Do it for Jim, dude, don't be selfish.
嘿 听说我 我觉得我要去下洗手间 Hey, you know what? I think I have to go to the bathroom.
卡拉 这不是搞笑 Kara, this is not funny.
卡拉 卡拉 出来 Kara, come on! Kara, come out.
天哪 My God!
好吧 Come on. Okay, good.
你找不到我 You never could find me.
吉姆 不是我吓你 你真的没多少时间了 Jim, I don't mean to alarm you but you don't have much time.
知道 我知道 Yes, I know.
我喜欢你的围巾 I like your scarf. Okay.
我喜欢你的大波波 I like your breasts Door.
我拍个照没问题吧？ Would it be okay if I get a picture?
没问题 Sure.
我知道就在这附近什么地方 I know it's in here somewhere.
一瓶发胶 Okay, a bottle of hair spray...
伙计们 还好吗 You guys all right?
没问题 Yeah. Yeah.
你知道吗 You know something?
我真佩服 你的洗手间真干净 I really was admiring how clean your toilet was in your bathroom.
谢谢 Thanks.
你知道吗 我也要用下洗手间 You know what? I have to use the restroom, too.
不 你不能 No, you don't.
上床吧 Let's get in bed.
和我上床？ Come on and get in bed with me?
不 我不上 No, I'm not getting in bed...
跟我上床啊 Come on. Get in bed with me.
别 卡拉 不要 我去 No, I'm not... Kara, please. God. Please.
我去 Shit!
硬条 你在这搞毛线呢？ Stifler, what are you doing here?
我只是想看看 不行 I just wanted another glimpse. No.
你怎么给她穿上衣服了 伙计 Why'd you put her clothes back on, dude? Boo.
你赶紧离开 You have to go.
那是什么 What was that?
听声音是从里屋传来的 That sounded like it came from outside.
不是 是从卡拉的房里 No, that came from Kara's room.
我去 Jesus.
卡拉？ Kara?
我去 My God.
走 走 走 Go, go, go!
到底发生了什么事情？ What the hell's going on in here?
嗨 爸爸 Hi, Daddy.
你怎么进来的 How'd you get back in?
我不记得了 I don't remember.
不记得了？ You don't remember?
那声音怎么回事 What was that sound?
不知道 I don't know.
你不知道？ What do you mean, you don't know?
不知道 I don't know.
你喝酒了 对吗 You've been drinking, haven't you?
没有啊 No.
卡拉 我告诉过你 那些男生想让你喝醉 Kara, I told you these boys try to get you drunk
这样他们就能为所欲为了 so they can take advantage of you.
我已经成年了 爸爸 I'm old enough to know that, Dad.
我可不想去蹲监狱 Yeah, well, I don't want to go to jail
为了抽那些色鬼孙子 for kicking some horny kid's teeth in
我会的 信我 but I will, believe me.
那什么 What is that?
Oh 那是我的小牛牛 That's Mr. Moo!
你能把它递过来的吗 爸爸？ Will you get him for me, Daddy? Please.
我不会生我家宝贝的气的 I can't be mad at my angel.
生日快乐 小公主 Happy birthday, princess.
谢谢 爸 Thanks, Dad.
你在干嘛 What are you doing?
没什么 Nothing.
天啊 Jeez.
硬条？ Stifler?
来这 伙计 Up here, dude.
我告诉过你 我是砖家 I told you I was an expert.
我去 Shit.
这是要搞毛啊？ What the hell is going on now?
嘿 Hey.
想去贾斯汀·比伯的演唱会吗？ Want to go to a Justin Bieber concert?
吉姆？ Jim?
硬条 快 快 Stifler, come on. Come on!
出发 Let's go.
你们 呆在这 You and you, stay here.
别推我 Don't push me.
卡拉 你在哪 Kara, where the hell are you?
我在去你那儿的路上… I'm on my way to your place and...
我… What the...
操 Fuck!
怎么回事 What the hell is going on?
嘿 猪头 Hey, stud.
我想你从来不… I thought you'd never...
草 草 就该这样… Shit, shit. We were supposed to...
不 没事 No, it's fine.
什么？不 有事啊 What? No, God, it's not fine.
对不起 米歇尔 我真的 我想… Shoot! I'm so sorry, Michelle. I really... I wanted to, I just...
我准备把埃文放到我奶奶家 I'm going to drop Ev at my grandma's
这个下午我就要去了 and I'll be back this afternoon.
别 米歇尔 No, Michelle, hold on.
吉姆 我有点担心 Jim, I'm worried.
你担心什么 What are you worried about?
我们走不到一块 Just we're like so out of sync.
我只是… I just...
我不知道还能这样维持多久 I don't know how much longer we can go on like this.
我保证我会做任何事来补偿你的 I promise you I will do everything I can to make it up to you.
好吗 Okay?
硬条今晚有个晚会 Stifler's having a party tonight.
我知道这听上去不浪漫或是什么的 Okay, I know that doesn't sound romantic or anything,
但是记得在硬条晚会上我们的第一次 but remember our first time was at a Stifler party.
你让我成了你的裙下之臣 You made me your bitch.
是 是的 Yes. Yes, I did.
告诉我什么时候 OK？ Tell me when, okay?
我去 What the fuck?
米娅 So, Mia.
她是个热爱自由的人 She's a free spirit.
她还有别的爱好 She's something else.
是的 Yeah, she is.
等等 我该吃醋吗？ Wait a minute, do I sense a little jealousy there?
别 嗯嗯 不？ No. Mmm-mmm. No?
嘿 别忘了 你跟我分手的 Hey, don't forget, you were the one who broke up with me
在你去医学院之前 before you went to med school.
你去了洛杉矶 就再没回来 Hey, you were moving to LA with no return in sight.
你不能怪我因为我已经找了男朋友 You can't blame me for wanting to settle down.
不 我没有 No, I don't.
你不想你结婚 I just don't want you to settle.
看看谁嫉妒了 Look who's jealous now.
我不能说与罗恩已经定了 I wouldn't call being with Ron "settling."
他只是虚有其表 No, he's gorgeous on paper.
那是什么意思 What is that supposed to mean?
没什么. Um… Nothing. Um...
对不起 你是对的 I'm sorry. You're right.
我是有一些嫉妒 I am a bit jealous.
开玩笑 You know, it's funny.
在某些方面 你真的完全变了 In some ways, you've completely changed,
在某些方面 你又完全没变 and, in other ways, you're exactly the same.
海瑟 你必须相信 Heather, you can believe this,
一切都没变 nothing's changed.
天啊 My God.
克里斯·奥兹 Chris Ostreicher?
嗨 美女 Hi, girls.
能合个影吗 Can I get a pic?
行 Sure.
爸？ Dad?
爸 吉姆 Hey, Dad. Hey, Jim.
我正要出去一下 I'm just going to run out for a sec.
我正在看你的成人礼录像 I was just watching your old Bar Mitzvah tape.
拿到你的围巾了！ I got your Jew scarf!
还给我 硬条 Give it back, Stifler.
托你的福 我是世上最开心的人 I think I'm the happiest man in the world thanks to you.
我也很想她 爸 Yeah, I miss her too, Dad.
我知道 I know.
爸 你总是在那给我教导 Dad, you've always been there to give me advice.
如果你有什么要说的 But if there's anything that you want to talk about,
我在这等你 I'm here for you.
我不认为有什么事 Yeah, I don't think there's anything
真的需要说的 吉姆 I really need to talk about, Jim.
你觉得应该是时候？ Do you think maybe it's time for you to
再找个伴吗？ meet someone else?
爸 没事的 Dad, it's okay.
不管你准备做什么都是非常自然的 What you're going through is perfectly natural.
外面有服务… You know, there are services out there...
服务？对的 Services? Yeah.
什么服务？ Like what?
完美的结局？什么东西？ A happy ending? What's that?
因为我不会去那 Because I won't go there.
我去 My God.
我不需要… 我不需要那样的按摩 吉姆 I don't need that... I don't need that kind of massage, Jim.
那不是我想说的… That's not what I was...
你知道 那不安全 Because, you know what, it's dangerous.
你能选择做一些事情 And you can pick things up.
你并不能知道你能做些什么 You don't even wanna know what you can pick up.
跟你叔聊聊 我情愿不说 Talk to your uncle Mort. I'd rather not.
他在医院两周了 He was in the hospital for two weeks.
不会吧 That's disgusting.
我是说 I was talking about
在线约会服务 online dating services.
不是 吉姆 No, Jim.
在我这年纪 我不太认同 Yeah, right, at my age? I don't think so.
我已经退出这种游戏很久了 I've been out of the game for so long.
甚至那不是一个游戏 There wasn't even a game back then.
爸 别担心 我支持你 Dad, don't worry. I'll hook you up.
你有那些照片吗？ Do you have those photos?
干得好 Here you go.
我可能需要点新东西 We might need something a little more recent.
对不 Do you think?
你有什么性感点的东西吗？ Do you have something that's a bit sexier?
明白 Gotcha.
有没有… Did you...
最爱的音乐 Favorite music.
隐士合唱团 Herman's Hermits.
好 Okay.
美女 一次一人 拜托 Girls, one at a time, please.
兴趣与爱好 Interests and hobbies.
益智游戏 Sudoku.
一会儿再填这个 We'll come back to this one.
我们是不是拔得太多了 Are we sure we're not taking off too much?
这眉毛可是我的标志 These caterpillars are kind of my trademark.
收工 好极了 Okay... Perfect.
瞧瞧 我紧张了 Take a look. I'm nervous.
太神奇了 That's fantastic!
对我来说 看上去不错 That is a great look for me!
简明的线条 我还能移动它们 Leaner lines. I still have mobility.
为什么我30年前没做 Why didn't I do this 30 years ago?
看不去不错 Looking good.
为什么今晚我们不试试这个新面貌？ Why don't we test this new look out tonight?
硬条今晚开舞会 The thing is, Stifler is throwing a party tonight.
好吧 那下回吧 ! Well, another time.
你可以与我们一起去 But you could come with us.
离开这房子应该会感觉不错的 It would be nice to get out of the house.
我还是要警告你 I do have to warn you, though,
硬条的晚会会有点那个 Stifler's parties can get a little.
狂野 Wild.
这是什么 What the fuck is this?
谁TM换了音乐 Who the hell changed the music?
对不起 我们觉得这个音乐更适合婴儿一点 Sorry, we thought this was more baby-friendly.
我们？是的 我们 Didn't we? Yes, we did.
硬条 Stifmeister!
布鲁克！ Bluck!
切斯特！ Chester!
你们这些吸吊的屌人在忙什么呢？ What have you cock-smokers been up to?
我们刚刚订婚了 是的 Well, we just got engaged. Yeah.
两只基佬 What? That's so fucking gay.
是的 硬条 我们是基佬 Yeah, Stifler, we are gay.
一半曲棍球队员都是基佬 Half the lacrosse team was gay.
你懂的 对不 You must have known that, right?
伙计 道格与巴里在洗澡时 你正好进去了 Dude, you walked in on Doug and Barry in the shower.
我以为他们在摔跤 I just thought they were wrestling.
你确定这是硬条的晚会？ Are we sure this is Stifler's?
那是点心！ Hors d'oeuvres!
把这个交给主人 儿子 Why don't you give this to our host, son?
天啊 看看谁来了 My God! Look who it is.
嗨 Hey.
昨晚打扰到你真不好意思 Sorry for interrupting you guys last night.
不错随便说下 Bravo, by the way.
大多数女人结婚后就不那样做了 Most wives stop doing that after they get the ring.
你们在说什么？ 你头发重新染色了？ What are you talking about? Did you change your hair color?
那个 你的另一个熟女控好朋友 今晚也来了吗？ So, is your buddy, the other MILF guy, here tonight?
我以为你们应该一起来的 I thought you always come to these things together.
总的来说 友谊是两条平行线 Let's just say that friendship is a two-way street.
失陪了 Excuse me.
这晚会还能再老土一点么？ Could this party get any lamer?
并不坏吧 It's not so bad.
来点E仔么？（毒品） You want some E?
不要 你怎么会有那个 No. Why do you have that?
除了这的人没有 其他人都有了 No one else here probably has any.
你真的不要？ Are you sure you don't want one?
好吧 Yeah.
不要…要… No... Yes.
不要… No.
好吧 那我自己包了 Okay. Fine. More for me, then.
大伙都来了啊 And there they are.
芬奇 Finchy.
伙计们 看看四围 你能相信这狗屎晚会吗？ There you guys are. Look around. Can you believe this shit?
耶 伙计 挺好的 Yeah, man. Nice work.
送给你的 For you.
我拿这玩意儿干嘛？ What the hell am I supposed to do with this?
这是酒 硬条 That's called wine, Stifler.
不 不 不 不 我的晚会不是这样的 No, no, no, no, not at my party.
我给大家拿些刺激的 I'm going to get us some shots.
嘿 凯文 Hey, Kev.
我能跟你们单独谈谈吗 Can I talk to you guys for a sec?
行 好的 在这等我 我马上回来 Yeah, sure. Wait here, I'll be right back.
你把道具都带来了吗 So, you brought the goods?
这儿呢 Right here.
我要看看 I want to see.
我操 我操这群混蛋们哪去了？ What the... Where did those fuckers go?
你好 斯蒂芬 Hello, Steven.
莱文斯坦先生 是我 Mr. Levenstein. Yes.
干得不错 You made it.
看到你们能回来真的很开心 It is so great to see all you kids back in town.
嗯 M.
你办得这个晚会真是太好了 And what a terrific soiree you're throwing here tonight.
太精彩了 Just wonderful!
你知道吗 你要悲剧了 You know what? I'm going to get you fucked up.
嗯？ 来一杯啊 M? Have a shot.
不 不 不 ! No, no, no.
我不这么认为 斯蒂芬 我不怎么能喝酒 I don't think so, Steven. I'm not much of a drinker.
干了它！干了它！ 干了它！ 不 我不会 Drink it. Drink it! Drink it! No, I can't.
干了它！干了它！ Drink it! Drink it!
屌爆了 我们再来一杯 Awesome! Let's do another one.
不能再喝了 I don't think so.
凯文 你真的不知道发生了什么事吗 Look, Kev, you don't know for sure if anything happened.
我醒来时 她正躺在我身边 而我衣服都脱光了 I woke up next to her in bed, and all our clothes were off.
我意思是 不管有没有事发生 我都感到内疚 I mean, whatever happened, I feel guilty.
凯文 在法国 Kevin, in France,
只有你老婆当场抓住才算偷 it's only considered cheating if your wife catches you in the act.
她在那 She's here.
我要过去 I gotta go.
好了 准备好了吗 All right, get ready.
稍等 稍等 Wait for it. Wait for it!
稍等 Wait for it!
酒来了 Here she comes!
耶！ Yeah!
干得好 莱文斯坦先生 Fuck yeah, Mr. Levenstein!
它名字叫诺亚 操他妈的 The name is Noah, motherfucker.
嗯 Mmm.
摸摸这沙发 Feel the sofa.
好光滑呀 It's so smooth.
它就像蓝精灵的屁股 It feels like a Smurf's ass.
你不摸摸看吗 Did you feel it?
好了 米娅 你能不能… Okay. Mia, can you...
嘿 伙计们 我们来晚了 Hey, guys. Sorry we're late.
嗨 Hi.
嘿 我给大家带了道好菜我找到一些东西 Hey, I got a treat for everybody. I picked something up.
名人舞会第六季 我们的英雄 克里斯·奥兹 Celebrity Dance Off, Season Six. My man, Chris Ostreicher.
不会吧 My God.
我们来看看这个 We have to watch this.
谁要来看我老公的电臀舞 Who wants to see my baby shake his booty?
我要看 I know I do.
古板？你开玩笑吧 JDate? You have to be kidding me.
如果你想要真正的野外游历(Vag) 你必须深入荒野 If you want quality vag, you have to go out into the wild.
“阴道”(Vag)？（Vag：流浪者；vagina：阴道） "Vag"?
那是什么 半个阴道？ What is that, a half a vagina?
你知道 在我们那个年代 我们把那叫海狸（俚：女人） You know, in my day we called it a beaver.
我告诉你 我抓住了一只还是两只 And let me tell you something, I snagged a pelt or two.
我相信你做到了 I bet you did.
爸？ Dad?
嘿 吉姆 你爸比你酷多了 Hey, Jim, your dad is so much cooler than you.
硬条 别让我爸再喝酒 Stifler, please stop getting my dad drunk.
不是 他只是想给我找些妹子 No, he's just trying to get me some vag.
好吧 起来 Okay, come on.
嘿 嘿 Yeah! Hey, hey.
让他自己做主 Let the man make his own decisions.
别闹 Stop. Come on.
别听他的 Don't listen to him.
我希望你能清理下你“枪”上的灰尘 I want you to dust off that old dick of yours,
去外面找寻猎物 go out there, and get some ass.
去那就行了 ! Just go out there.
我会的 I think I Will.
- 爸 停下 好吗？ - 我这就去 - Dad, stop, okay? - It's exactly what I'm gonna...
我想你今晚喝多了 I'm sorry, but you have had a little too much to drink tonight,
我不想让你… 不 不 and I'm not letting you... No, no.
不 儿子 我没醉 No, son, lhaven% hardly had one drink.
你知道我爱你 And you know I love you.
我也爱你 但是你需要 I do love you, but you need to
蛋定 chillax.
"蛋定"？ 爸 你要去哪 "Chillax"? Dad, where are you going?
他没事的？ 吉姆！吉姆！ Do you see him? Jim! Jim!
来来来 我们搞点有意思的 Let him go. Let him have some fun.
现在我们能找点乐子了 And now we can have some fun.
来啊 Come on.
打扰了 Excuse me.
打扰了 I'm sorry, excuse me.
这是洗手间吗 Is this a washroom?
事情根本就没有发生 你是一个自私的人 It doesn't even occur to you that you're self-centered
你是如此的自私 because you are so self-centered and...
稍等一下 You know what? Hold on a second.
需要帮忙吗 Can I help you?
请问你是 Who might you be?
你是斯蒂芬的妈妈 I'm Stifler's mom.
我是吉姆的爸爸 I'm Jim's dad.
过会再说 混蛋 Later, fucker.
天啊 我是我看过最扯的事情了 My God, this is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen.
伙计 你的身材太完美了 Dude, you have an amazing body!
大伙大声点 为奥兹加油吧 Everybody, raise the roof for Chris Ostreicher!
你已经带来了一整个赛季的热情 You have really been bringing it all season long.
但是现在 克里斯 But now it's time, Chris,
来看看大家是不是认同呢 to see if America thinks you done brought it.
准备好了吗？开始 You ready? Let's do it.
看看结果是什么 Let's see the results.
什么？ 是吉尔伯特·高特弗雷德而不是你？ What? Gilbert Gottfried and not you?
他妈的胡说！ Fucking bullshit!
克里斯 太可惜了 Chris, I'm so sorry, man.
好吧 你被淘汰了 你下台去吧 Well, we saw you jam. Now, it's time to scram.
你还有什么要说的吗 Do you have any last thoughts for the audience?
好吧 伙计们 可以关了吧 Okay, guys, we can probably end it there.
什么？开玩笑？我都没看完 What? No, are you kidding? I haven't seen this.
我想教训是真实的 I think what I've learned is to be true
对于我来说 to myself,
舞蹈就是真理 because that's what dancing is, it's truth.
也许 And maybe,
如果我能再多跳一点舞 if we just danced a little bit more,
世间将没有战争 there would be no more wars.
没有战争 No more war!
好吧 在外交政策上这是多么体贴呀 Well, that is a thoughtful take on foreign policy.
Stick around. Hulk Hogan gets jiggy-friggy, right after this.
You don't want to miss this. Stick around.
嘿 Hey.
如果你想知道我的立场 我想你被骗了 If you want my opinion, I think you got cheated.
你还好吗 Are you okay?
你知道 You know,
当你失去重要的东西时 那令自己觉得不愉快 when you lose something that's important to you, it doesn't feel very good.
奥兹 那是一场表演 Oz, it's just a show.
我不是在说表演 I'm not talking about the show.
嘿 海瑟 你在下面吗？ Hey, Heather, you down there?
来了 Um, coming!
天啊 My God.
等我 我马上回来 Wait here, I'll be right back.
我不知去过史蒂文的房间多少次 I can't tell you how many times I walked into Steven's room
我看到他跟一群女孩子做爱 and I caught him in the middle of sex with some girl.
还好 他是跟真人女孩 At least he was with a real, live human girl.
你别说笑了 What are you talking about?
我一回去厨房 我看到吉姆正在干苹果派 I walked into the kitchen once, and I saw Jim humping a pie.
他两秒钟就把苹果派干得粉碎 He turned the damn thing into a crumble in about two seconds.
我遇到更绝的 I can top that.
有一回 我去浴室 I once walked into my bedroom
我看到斯蒂芬正在用我的牙刷插菊花 and I caught Steven sticking my hairbrush up his ass.
当然 用带刷毛的那头 No, and it wasn't the handle side, either.
别 别 别 No, no, no.
像你这么美丽的女士不能喝这么多酒的 A pretty lady like you shouldn't be drinking quite so much.
我也不能这样喝 And neither should I.
来点大麻怎么样 How about a joint, then?
我们不能为见一次面而等上13年 We don't have to wait 13 years to see each other again.
是的 确实 Yeah, true.
我想我能陪你们一起冒险 And I guess I could come along on one of your adventures.
我是一个好基友吗？ Am I good sidekick material?
基友？ Sidekick?
我觉得你比基友还亲 I think you are a lot more than sidekick material.
没事吧？ Is everything okay?
非常好 It's better than ever.
嗯 嗯 Mmm. Mmm.
好的 等等 Okay, wait, wait.
我觉得我们穿这样不合适 I don't think we're dressed appropriately for the occasion.
把这个穿上 Put that on.
等等 你去哪 Wait, where are you going?
换衣服 马上回来 To change. Be back soon.
伙计们 Dudes!
怎么了 哥们儿 What's up, bro?
大棒硬条？ Big Stiffy?
口爆·利普斯汀 Blowjob Lipstein.
你有没有搞错 You have to be fucking kidding me!
什么？ Excuse me?
好吧 Okay.
你是怎么回事？ 你只想着让我帮你口交？ What the hell are you doing? You just expect me to blow you?
Yeah！ Yeah!
我走了 I'm out of here.
别 别 别！ Wait. Wait, Wait!
我知道了 Look, I get it.
你对你的身材感到不自信 You're self-conscious about your body.
没关系 关了灯都一样 Don't worry. I was going to shut the lights off anyway.
你跟高中时一样讨厌 You are the same douchebag that you were in high school.
你想不劳而获？ You just expect me to do everything while I get nothing?
滚 Later.
别 别！ No, no!
我们约好 Let's make a deal.
我先给你口交 你然后给我口交 I'll get you off, you get me off.
怎么说？ What do you say?
一言为定 Fine.
我会让你爽到爆的 But I am putting you to work.
我勒个去 Holy shit.
开吃！ Chow time!
你在这呢 There you are!
我到处找你 I've been looking all over for you.
听着 我们真的需要… Listen, we really need to...
你在干嘛 What are you doing?
拿属于我的东西 Taking what's mine.
别 我只是想听听你的声音 No, I just wanted to hear the sound of your voice.
没事吧？你看上去有点紧张 Aw, is everything okay? You seem stressed.
紧张？ Stressed?
你在这呢！ There you are!
不 不 不 No, no, no.
我马上得挂了 我一会儿给你回电 I have to go right now, but I'll call you back in a little bit.
别担心 你不在身边 我不会看《绯闻女孩》的 Okay. And don't worry, I won't watch Gossip Girl without you.
我好想你 宝贝 I miss you, babe.
我也想你 I miss you, too.
我跟你说 维琪 关于昨天晚上 Listen, Vicky, about last night,
不是我 that wasn't me.
让事情发生的 With what happened...
我不太清楚 那可能对你来说习以为常 I don't know. It might be normal in your world.
你觉得发生了什么？ What do you think happened?
好吧 我们的衣服都在地板上 Well, all our clothes were on the floor.
是的 因为衣服都汗湿了 Yeah, because they were soaking wet
你从湖边回来就喝醉了 from when you got drunk and fell in the lake.
我照看着你 I took care of you.
那么 我们什么都没做？ So, we didn't have sex?
当然没做 Of course not.
还好还好 Thank God!
我谢谢你把我想得那么贱 I'm glad you think so highly of me.
不是 No.
维琪 等等 Vicky, wait.
哦耶 天啊！ Yeah! Oh, my God!
米娅 你停下 Mia, stop.
天啊 yeah！ 9l", my God, yeah!
米娅 下来！ Mia, get off!
一库… 一库… I'm about to! I'm about to!
海瑟 Heather.
怎么回事 What the hell?
你原来要跟这骚货亲热？ You have something going on with this skank?
你说谁骚货呢 你这婊子 Who are you calling a skank, you fucking bitch?
Whoa！ Whoa！ Whoa! Whoa!
住手 住手 Stop it! Stop!
住手 Stop it!
我操 OW! What the fuck?
婊子 That's my extension, you bitch!
我操你妹 You motherfucker!
别 米娅！等一等！ No, Mia! Wait a minute!
随便说一下 我干过马里奥·洛佩兹 By the way, I fucked Mario Lopez!
OK 轮到我了 Okay, it's my turn now.
这次可不行 Not this time.
什么 我们的约定呢 Wait, what about our deal?
现在知道什么感觉了吧 大棒硬条 Now you know how it feels, Big Stiffy.
我去 Gross!
你不会认为我又睡着了吧？ You didn't actually think I'd fall asleep again, did you?
跟你在一起 我很快乐 As long as you're mine, I'm happy.
我的天 卡拉 你在这干什么？ Jesus, Kara. What are you doing here?
硬条邀请了我和我的所有女性朋友 Your creepy friend invited me and all my girlfriends.
不错的道具 好变态哦 Nice outfit, by the way. Very kinky.
我去 Shit.
别担心 我锁门了 Don't worry. I locked it.
我的天啊 Jesus.
哪个不怕死的狗日的狗屎在这啊？ What the hell kind of freaky shit is going on in here?
AJ 你来这干什么？ AJ, what are you doing here?
我跟踪你 我得亲眼见见 I followed you. I had to see it with my own eyes.
开始你搞了我的摩托艇 现在你就搞我的妹子？ First you fuck with my jet ski, then you fuck my girlfriend?
不是 我们什么也没做 No! God, no! Nothing happened.
你下来 桑德拉 You're going down, Sandler.
桑德拉？ 我操… Sandler? What the...
我的天！ Jesus Christ!
我要宰了你！ I'm going to kill you!
吉姆 你穿得什么鬼东西？ Jim, what the fuck are you wearing?
嘿 听我解释 Hey, I can explain everything! Jesus!
来啊 我操 Come on! Shit!
起来 瘸子！ Get up, gimp!
我不会跟你打的 Come on, I'm not fighting you, okay?
这太傻了 我可是成人 This is silly. I'm an adult.
是吗？ Really?
对于我来说 你就是个娘娘腔 Because to me you look like a little bitch pussy.
别再萎了 吉姆 Don't be a pussy, Jim.
AJ 冷静 好吗？ Look, AJ, just calm down, okay?
你们吃了豹子胆了 What makes you little fuckers think
来踢威武硬条的场子？ you can crash one of the Stifmeister's parties?
你把自己称为“威武硬条”？ Did you just refer to yourself as "the Stifmeister"?
史上最挫的名字 Because that's the lamest name ever!
你找死 I'm going to fucking kill you.
揍起来！ Bring it on.
嘿 斯蒂芬 拜托 这是… Hey, Steve, come on, this is...
你们还能去哪？ Where do you think you're going?
别在我们99届面前装B 贱人！ Don't mess with the Class of '99, bitch!
芬奇！ Finch!
别打我的朋友 Don't hurt my friend!
嘿 Hey!
离我老公远点 你这小杂种 Get off my husband, you little piece of shit!
我叼 有条子！ Crap! It's the fuzz!
我们得离开这 你怎么出去 We have to get out. How do you get out?
我需要逃生通道 I need an escape route!
我去 Shit!
你要跟他在一起？ You want to be with him?
好！你们就在一起吧 Fine! He's all yours.
伙计 Come on, man!
吉姆 怎么回事？ Jim, what's going on?
对不起 我会解释这一切的 I am so sorry for all of this. I can explain.
昨晚 我遇到我们的邻居卡拉 Last night I ran into Kara, our neighbor.
她喝多了不能开车 于是我就送她回家 She was too drunk to drive, so I drove her home.
然后她开始脱衣服 然后摸我的… And she started taking off her clothes, and touching my...
我知道这听上去不好 但是真的没发生什么 Okay, I know it doesn't sound good, but nothing happened, okay?
我根本不在意她 I don't care about her at all!
谢谢 Thanks a lot.
别 别 卡拉 等等 我不是那意思… No, no, Kara, wait. I didn't mean...
等等 米歇尔 等等 Wait, Michelle. Hold on, hold on.
事情不是你想的那样 It's not what you think, okay?
我发誓 我只是想做正确的事情 I swear, I was just trying to do the right thing, and I...
你得相信我 米歇尔 You have to believe me, Michelle, please.
别管我信不信 Whether I believe you or not,
我失望极了 I'm disappointed.
我准备去我奶奶家 I'm going to stay with my grandmother.
站住 米歇尔 Hold it, Michelle.
不行 吉姆 No, Jim.
嘿 已经没事了 长官们 Hey, the fight's over, guys.
我们不是来处理打架的 We're not here to stop a fight.
我们来处理摩托车盗窃案 We're here about that stolen motorcycle.
车牌号对上了 Looks like the VIN numbers match up.
保罗·芬奇 Paul Finch.
你被捕了 You're under arrest.
正点啊 Awesome!
打扰下 长官 Excuse me, officer.
这车是他在阿根廷世界杯赌球赢的 He won that bike betting on the World Cup in Argentina.
你们搞错了 You made some sort of mistake.
保罗 怎么回事？ 这是怎么一回事啊？ Paul, what's going on? What is this about?
保罗 Paul.
芬奇 跟他们说啊 Finch, just tell them.
保罗 Paul!
嘿 如果晚上你被狱友爆菊 Hey, shitbreak, when you're getting rammed by your cellmate tonight,
想像成凯文就行了 think of Kevin.
米歇尔 我能不能…求你了！ Michelle, can I just... Please!
爸？ Dad?!
爸？ Dad?
爸 你在干什么？ Dad, what are you doing?
你没看到我 我不存在 You didn't see me! I'm not here!
我不存在 I'm not here!
他还好吗？ Is he all right?
不知道 I don't know.
我们能为芬奇做点什么吗？ What are we going to do about Finch?
屌人芬奇 让他在监狱里蹲一夜吧 Fuck Finch. Let him spend the night in jail.
别这么说 硬条 Come on, Stifler!
你可是他朋友 Some friend you are.
你们呢？ What about you guys?
你们不打电话我 你们不给我发邮件 You don't call me, you don't e-mail,
你们不来踩我的空间 you don't comment on my Facebook page.
你们都不告诉我 你们要来参加重聚会 You guys didn't even let me know you were coming back for the reunion.
因为我们知道 莫名奇妙的 你就把事件搞砸了 Because we knew, somehow, you would find a way to screw things up.
抱歉 吉姆 I'm sorry, Jim.
我只是想我们能玩得开心 I wanted us to have a fucking fun time
这个周末 就像我们在高中时那样 this weekend, like we did in high school.
因为我们不能回到过去了 But we're not in high school any more.
你深深地陷在过去 硬条 You are so trapped in the past, Stifler.
什么时候你才能明白 When are you going to realize that
事情已经变了呢？ things will never be the way they used to be?
好吧 Fine.
晚会结束 Guess the party's over.
屌人们 Dicks.
好吧 这是一个美好的晚会 Well, that was a great party.
我得承认我玩得很开心 I honestly think I had fun.
聚会让我们有机会在一起 Well, that makes one of us.
米歇尔骂你了吗？ Have you heard from Michelle?
没有 她不跟我说话 No. She doesn't want to talk to me.
今晚的重聚会她来吗？ What about the reunion tonight?
她说可能来可能不来 She said she may or may not come.
你们俩怎么了 What's going on with you two?
吉姆 你还有什么想说的吗？ Jim, is there anything you want to talk about?
好吧 Okay.
一般隔多久 How often
你与妈妈那个… did you and Mom...
你懂的 You know?
这就是你们吵架的原因？ Is that what this is about?
你与米歇尔最近没有… You and Michelle haven't been...
近来没有 没有 Not lately, no.
你是不是 Ls it
阳萎了？ an erectile problem?
有时你可以找段时间 Because sometimes you can buy a little time
用手指试一试 with a well-placed thumb.
天啊 我是想说 God. I'm just saying.
我觉得不是这个原因 不是这个原因？ I don't think that's it. That's not it?
有些东西记得一直放在后口袋里 That's something to keep in your back pocket,
这样做没什么坏处 because that's a no-fail.
OK 我说得清楚一点 Okay, let's be done with that.
以前本来一切都很好 No, things in that department were fine.
然后埃文出生了 And then Evan was born
然后我们就稍稍停了停 and we kind of stopped.
然后从那时起就没再做过了 清楚了吧 And they haven't really picked up since, you know?
这不是核心问题 别担心 This is not a problem, so do not worry.
你明白吗？ 听着 吉姆 You understand? Yeah, listen, Jim.
在你生出以前 Before you were born,
你妈妈跟我 几乎每天都做 your mother and I, we would do it every day.
我不需要这样 I don't need this.
有时一天两三次 Sometimes two or three times a day.
在70年代 有很多姿势 This is back in the '70s. A lot of experimentation was going on.
你妈妈最喜欢的一招是“海底捞月” Your mother favored something she called, "diving for dollars."
我去 不好意思 我不需要… Holy shit. I'm sorry, I don't need...
没事 我们能… That's fine, we can...
我们还是不谈这个吧 I don't have to go on with that.
我的意思是 当你有了小孩 你变成了爸爸或妈妈 But my point is, when you have a kid, you become a dad and a mom.
并不意味着 不再是丈夫或妻子 But it's very important not to stop being a husband and a wife.
如果你继续丈夫的角色 嘿咻就会到来了 And if you do that, the sex will come.
听起来好像有点意思 That actually makes a lot of sense.
你不能傻等 直到两人都有空闲 But you can't just wait for the two of you to be alone.
而是 你应该创造两人都空闲的机会 You have to make your own alone time.
你认为什么你一周去三次学校？ Why do you think you went to Hebrew school three times a week?
周日 12点-3点？ 周二 4点-7点？ Sundays, noon to three? Tuesdays, four to seven?
OK 我懂了 爸 Okay, I get it, Dad.
如果你懂了 那为什么有问题？ If you get it, then why the questions?
对不起 I'm sorry.
你能搞定的 我会听进去的 You're going through this, I am sorry. I should be listening.
不 我反应过头了 抱歉 No, I'm overreacting. I'm sorry.
再次谢谢 Thank you.
真的 Again. Really.
随时都行 Anytime.
欢迎欢迎 Welcome, you guys.
听着 找到你们的身份标签 找出你们要坐的地方 Listen, find your nametag, find out what table you're sitting at.
艾希莉 见到你真高兴 天啊 Ashley, so good to see you! My God.
比利！天啊 你看上去真苗条 Billy! My God, you're looking so svelte.
你曾经过度肥胖了 我挺担心的 You used to be morbidly obese. I was concerned.
嘿 Hey.
嘿 伙计 He)', guys.
嘿 吉姆 奥兹 Hey, Jim. Oz.
米娅在哪？ Where is Mia?
今天早晨她走了 She flew out this morning.
可惜啊 伙计 . I'm sorry, man.
米歇尔怎么样了？ What about Michelle?
我还不清楚 I am not sure yet.
芬奇！ Finch!
怎么回事？我一直给警局打电话 What happened? I called the police department a thousand times.
谢谢 凯文 但是我妈妈把我保释了出来 I appreciate that, Kevin. But my mom, actually, bailed me out.
伙计们 我搞砸了 Guys, I screwed up.
那摩托是我老板的 That bike belongs to my boss.
他答应给我加薪的 但是还是没有给我 And I was promised a raise, and I didn't get it, so I
所以我先把它借出来 simply borrowed it.
事实是我对我老婆已经没兴趣了 The truth is that my life isn't interesting at all.
我是一个副经理 工作在新泽西州贝永市一家贸易市场 I am an assistant manager at a Staples in Bayonne, New Jersey.
我骗了我最好的朋友们 对不起 I lied to my best friends, and I'm sorry.
芬奇 仅仅因为你忽悠我们 You know, Finch, just because you sold out
像我们一样只有一份无聊的工作 and got a boring job like most of us,
那并不意味着你要觉得很难堪 that doesn't mean you should be embarrassed.
对的 伙计 没什么大不了的 Yeah, come on, man. None of that shit matters.
我知道了 伙计们 That means a lot, gentlemen.
你手臂怎么回事 What about your arm?
开车时 热咖啡洒手上了 I spilled coffee on myself while I was driving.
不会吧 No.
痛得跟狗一样 It hurt like a bitch, though.
我猜肯定是的 芬奇 I'll bet. Jesus, Finch.
嘿 看看这些 Hey, check this out, you guys.
有意思 看看我们 Crazy, huh? Look at us.
好多回忆 A lot of memories.
“硬条” "Steve Stifler."
“希望与基友的晚会永不结束” "Hopes to keep the party going with his boys."
看到他了吗？ Any sign of him yet?
没有 他本来要来的 I don't think he's going to show.
硬条？ Stifler?
你们怎么找到我的 How'd you find me?
我们向你妈妈打听到的 We asked your mom.
不关我事 No. I didn't do anything.
对于昨晚说过的话 我们表示道歉 We wanted to apologize for what we said last night.
我们不是故意的 We didn't mean it.
你们故意的 我就知道 你们认为我是个屌人 Yeah, you did. I get it, you guys think I'm a dick.
好吧 Okay. Well,
也许你是友好的屌人 maybe you are kind of a dick.
但是 But,
你是个有趣的屌人 you're a fun dick.
你就是我们的小弟弟 And you're our dick.
伙计 高中生活有你才变得多姿多彩 Yeah, man. You were one of the biggest reasons that high school was awesome.
耶 高中生活屌爆了 Yeah, high school was awesome.
然后我们毕业了 大家都开始工作 Then we graduated and everybody started getting jobs
结婚 生孩子 and getting married and having kids
其他各种烦人的事 and all that other stupid shit.
现在 看看我 我在这就干得不爽 Now, look at me. I'm the bitch of this place.
硬条 我们的生活都不是完美的 Look, Stifler, none of our lives are perfect.
特别是我的 Especially mine.
但是你说你要让聚会永不结束 But what do you say we keep this party going,
让大家又重聚在一起吗？ and hit up this reunion together?
你们在这干什么 What the hell is going on here?
天啊 这就是那个蠢货 My God. This is the jackass.
你离完工还差得远呢 准备熬夜吧 You're not even close to being finished and you're up here
“跟你的基友团在这JJYY”？ "chilling with your posse"?
抱歉 听我解释 Sorry, we can explain.
不要 凯文 No, Kevin.
我来 Allow me.
耶 凯文 让他来 Yeah, Kevin, allow him.
这样最好 2条 This better be good, Stafler.
我叫硬条 我操你妹 It's Stifler, fucker.
你以为你是谁啊？ Who the hell do you think you are?
你在你女朋友前面装B么？ Are you acting tough in front of your girlfriend? Huh?
我们都清楚 她只看中你的钱 Because we both know she's only with you for your money.
而不是看中你的傻屌 Definitely not for your dick.
因为每个跟你一起撒尿的人都知道 Because anybody that's peed next to you
你的那是个牙签屌 knows it's the size of a leprechaun's pinkie.
才不是呢 That's not true.
才不是？就是 "That's not true." Yeah, it is.
就因为你有一个豪华的办公室 而我连办公桌都没有 Look, just because you got a fancy office and I don't even have a desk
这不会改变你我的身份 doesn't change who we really are.
那就是 你还是那个傻屌 The truth is, you're still a dork,
而我仍然可以爆你菊花 and I can still kick your ass.
但是 我不准备爆了 But I'm not going to.
你知道为什么吗 You know why?
因为我是硬条 Because I'm the fucking Stifmeister.
剩下的活你就自己干吧 And you can take this job and shove it up your dickhole
我要去参加重聚会了 because I have a reunion to attend.
伙计们？ Dudes?
随便说下 工作任务我什么都没做 By the way, I had no clue what I was doing with any of this shit,
所以 你有得忙了 so you got a lot of work to do.
惊喜吧！嘿！你来了 Surprise! Hey! You made it.
是的 Of course.
你觉得今年的金狮奖怎么样？ What do you think about the Lions this year?
是不是坏透了？ They got a shot?
我们将看看他们的底线 We'll see if their offensive line can hold.
你准备参加名人舞会全明星赛吗？ Are you planning on being on Celebrity Dance Off: All Stars?
我已经不去想那事了 I actually haven't thought much about that.
你应该考虑一下 You should think about it.
抱歉 我有点事 I'm sorry, guys, you'll have to excuse me.
我能说几句吗？ Can I cut in?
不好说 你能保证不脱自己衣服么？ I don't know. Can you promise to keep your shirt on?
没事 哥们 我可是狠角色 Come on, buddy, I'm busting balls. Huh?
耶 当然 Yeah, of course.
我去拿点喝的 I'll get us some drinks.
好的 Okay.
嘿 Hey.
不跟你的女朋友跳舞吗 Shouldn't you be dancing with your girlfriend?
米娅跟我分手了 Mia and I are over.
她想让我成一个 She wanted me to be someone else.
我自己不想成为那样的人 Something that I don't want to be.
那你想干嘛 克里斯？ What do you want, Chris?
海瑟 我希望 Heather, I want this.
希望我们在一起 I want us.
你的事业呢？洛杉矶？ What about your career? LA?
我知道这听起来有点疯狂 Look, I know that it's crazy.
我现在也没有答案 但是我看到你 And I don't have all the answers right now, but I see you,
现在 and I just know
我只想和你在一起 I want you.
我爱你 I love you.
我在一座雪山上滑雪时 So, I'm skiing down a mountain.
我朋友的心脏病发作了 Guy has a heart attack right there.
我救了他 这故事很轰动 你可以google到它 Saved his life. It was a big story, you can Google it.
耶 应该是 Yeah, it was.
我打赌 I bet.
我操 失陪了 Holy shit! Excuse me.
嘿 停一下 你们在干嘛 Hey, excuse me. What the hell is going on?
罗恩 听我解释 Ron, I can explain.
真的吗 他？ Seriously, this guy?
我是个心脏病医生 这货甚至不在ESPN工作 I'm a fucking heart surgeon, this guy's not even on ESPN.
嘿 别激动 罗恩 Hey, take it easy, Ron.
你要干嘛？要打我吗？奥兹 What are you going to do? Hit me, Oz? Huh?
我有一个主意 跳个舞怎么样？ I got an idea. What about a dance-off? Huh?
这不是一个真人秀好吗？ 这是真实残酷的世界 This isn't a reality show, okay? This is the real world.
你敢让人打我 我就上法院控告你们 You take one swing at me, I will sue you for all you're worth.
来告我啊 罗恩 I'm not worth jack shit, Dron.
为基友 插他两刀 I'm your dick.
干翻他了！ Dropped him!
帅呆了 That was awesome!
那天晚上我们玩得很开心 Listen, we had a blast the other night.
你有没有考虑成为一个晚会组织者 Have you ever thought about being a party planner?
我们想请你策划下我们的婚礼 Because we want you to plan our wedding.
你一定要同意 Say yes.
耶 没问题 Yeah, yeah! I'd love to.
好耶！天啊 Nice! My God.
谢谢 太棒了 伙计 Thanks! This is great, man.
谢谢 谢谢 好兄弟 Thank you so much. Thank you, bro.
客气客气 谢谢 You're welcome. Thank you.
我准备告诉你一些事 I have to tell you something.
你不必解释 You don't have to explain.
保罗 我不喜欢你 因为你爬过阿乐卑斯山 Look, Paul, I didn't like you because you climbed the Alps,
或者空手杀死一只骆驼 or killed a camel with your bare hands.
我喜欢你 因为你仍然是个好人 I liked you because you were still the same good guy
实际上高中时很照顾我 that was actually nice to me in high school.
我还是那样的人 I'm still that guy.
真的是 I really am.
你知道 最后一次我在这儿是参加毕业舞会 You know, the last time I was here was for prom.
没人约我 I didn't have a date.
我也没 Neither did I.
我要去喝点酒 I have to get a drink.
喝酒？ What?
我跳得很烂么？ Was my dancing that bad?
是啊 Yeah.
凯文！嘿！ Kev! Hey!
嘿！杰西 Hey, Jess!
你都长胡子了 看上去不错哦 Look, you have a beard! It looks great.
谢谢 说笑了 Thanks. I'm kidding.
我来解释下 Let's just get this out of the way.
我是一个同性恋 这是我的女朋友 I'm a lesbian now, and this is my girlfriend.
这是英格丽德 This is Ingrid.
见到你很高兴 见到你也很高兴 Good to meet you. Nice to meet you, too.
女同性恋？我知道了 Lesbians? I knew it!
为什么你们不证明一下 Why don't you guys make out and prove it.
你就是硬条了 我听过很多你的传闻了 You must be Stifler. I've heard a lot about you.!
主要是负面的 Mostly negative.
酷 伙计 好大力 Cool, dude. What the fuck?
杰西卡 见到你真好 Jessica, it's good to see you.
不好 No, it wasn't.
什么… What the...
凯文 我觉得你要去跟维琪谈谈 Look, Kev, I think you should go talk to Vicky.
她真的心情不太好 She's really upset over there.
好吧 谢谢 Yeah, thanks.
好啊 Nice to meet you.
你都长胡须了 应该像个男人 Be a real man, you have a beard now.
凯文 没事 我很好 Kevin, don't. I'm fine.
我昨晚是有点傻 Come on. I was a complete jerk last night.
我感觉失望是因为你以为我会那么做 I was just upset that you would think that I would do that
我都知道你结婚了 knowing that you're married.
我明白你不会的 I know you wouldn't.
说实话 那事是因为我太神经质了 Honestly, that was more about me being nervous.
再次看到你 以前的感觉又复活了 Seeing you again, all these old feelings came up, and...
我有些困惑 也许 我应该感到内疚 I don't know, I guess I just felt guilty.
但是事实上 我仍然对你有感觉 But the fact that I still have feelings for you
我们的关系比较特别吧 just means that what we had was special.
别误会我 Don't get me wrong, all right.
我爱艾莉胜过一切 I love Ellie more than anything.
不管时光如何流逝 But no matter how much time passes
你永远是我的初恋 you'll always be my first love.
永远是我的最爱 And you'll always be mine.
凯文 嘿 Kev. Hey.
你应该吃吃这个蛋糕 味道好极了 You have to try these cupcakes, they're awesome.
艾莉 这是维琪 Ellie, this is Vicky.
天啊 你就是维琪？ 凯文对我讲了很多关于你的故事 My God! The Vicky? Kevin has told me so much about you.
你真是个幸运的女生 他是个很好的人 You're a really lucky girl. He's a great guy.
一起跳个舞吧 不了 没事儿 Come dance with us. No, it's okay.
来嘛 这么巧 来嘛 Yes, come on, this is happening. Come on.
嘿 Hey.
我是吉姆 My name's Jim.
我们一起上过李老师的英语课 We were in Mr. Lee's English class together.
真的假的？ Really?
耶 我… 不好意思 我不太记得了 Yeah, I... Sorry, I don't remember you.
好吧 Okay.
校园网上有个最火爆的视频 男主角就是我 I was the kid who everyone saw on the Internet.
嗯 Mmm.
不好意思 你能说明白点吗 Sorry, you're going to have to be more specific.
我射了两次 I pre-ejaculated twice.
吉姆·莱文斯坦 是你啊 Jim Levenstein! Right!
莱文斯坦 是的 吉姆·莱文斯坦 Levenstein. Yeah, Jim Levenstein.
现在我想起来了 Now I remember. Yeah.
毕业后过得怎么样 So, how have you been since high school?
非常好 是的 非常好 我想想 Pretty good. Yeah, pretty good. Let's see.
我娶了这世上最美的姑娘 I married the most wonderful woman in the world.
我们还生了个乖儿子 And we have the cutest kid ever.
听上去很不错啊 It sounds like things are perfect.
我尽最大努力让我们的家庭变得更美满 I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make it perfect.
听上去像模范丈夫 And that means being the sexiest husband possible.
真的吗？ Really?
米歇尔 你今天真漂亮 Michelle, you look beautiful.
谢谢 Thanks.
能与你跳个舞吗？ Would you like to dance?
很乐意 I'd love to.
Whoo！ Whoo!
硬条 Stifler.
雪门？雪门终结者？ Sherman? The Sherminator?
你在哪里发财呢？ What the fuck have you been up to?
我都结婚了 有了孩子 Married. Had a kid.
不过现在已经离了 And divorced.
真可惜 ! I'm sorry.
唉 是啊 Yeah, I'm sure you are.
但是 至少我有儿子小弗朗 But, you know what, at least I got to keep little Furlong.
你给你儿子取名爱德华·弗朗？ （终结者2的小男孩扮演者） You named your kid after Eddie Furlong?
是的 你懂的 Yes, I did. You know why?
《终结者2》是有史以来最牛B的电影 Because Terminator 2 is still the greatest film ever made.
伙计 你需要疯狂地做爱 Dude, you need to get banged bad.
好了 我们要离开这了 Okay, we have to get out of here.
时间差不多了 耶 It's about time. Yeah.
看上去注定要悲剧 It's a lost cause.
这里的女人要么是已婚 要么有男伴 All these women are either married or came with dates.
嘿 隆妮 Hey, Loni.
伙计 喜不喜欢让你的世界更带劲啊？ Dude, how would you like to have your world blown?
后会有期 硬条 Hasta la vista, Stifler.
我去 每个人都有目标 就我没有 Great, everybody's getting laid but me.
真是悲了个剧 This sucks.
打扰一下 Excuse me.
嗨 嗨 Hi. Hi.
我在找保罗·芬奇 你见过他吗？ I'm looking for Paul Finch. Have you seen him anywhere?
找芬奇有什么事吗？ What do you want with Finch?
我来这接他回去 我是他妈妈 I'm here to pick him up. I'm his mom.
芬奇也有妈妈？ Finch has a mom?
不是 你是芬奇妈妈？ I mean, you're Finch's mom?
是的 你是他朋友？ Yeah. Are you a friend of his?
是的 Yeah.
保罗是我最好的朋友 Paul is like my best friend.
我现在比以往任何时候都爱他 I love him so much. More now than ever before.
真不敢相信 我们以前没见过 我叫斯蒂芬·斯蒂夫勒 In fact, I can't believe we haven't met. I'm Steven Stifler.
我是瑞琪儿 I'm Rachel.
不是吧… What? What is it?
我有一个预感 感觉有什么奇怪的事要发生 I just got this feeling like something really bad is about to happen.
别担心 我会像教堂里的老鼠一样平静的 Don't worry. I'll be as quiet as a church mouse.
吉姆！ Jim!
我好想要你哦 I want you so bad.
你说到点子上了 You have no idea!
天啊 天啊 God! Oh, God!
天啊 这真是屌爆了 我再也忍不住了 God, there it is. I don't think I can hold it any more.
来啊 Hold it in!
抱歉 来了 I'm sorry, I will.
我不知这有多给力了 I just forgot how awesome this is.
耶 我要 Yeah, I need this.
天啊 米歇尔！ 我去 我爱你！ God, Michelle! Fuck, I love you!
吉姆？ Jim?
娜迪娅？ Nadia?
嘿 Hey.
对不起 你很忙是吗？ I'm sorry. You are busy, yes?
不忙… 是很忙… No. Yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
娜迪娅 见到你真高兴 Nadia, it's so nice to see you.
你能等我一分钟吗？ But do you think you could give us a minute?
三分钟 Three.
三分钟好了 Three minutes.
你们俩还在一起 真不错 Okay! So nice you are still together.
我觉得你比以前过得更好了 And I see you've gotten much better at this.
谢谢 Well, thanks.
他是吉姆？一点也不比我强嘛 That's Jim? He looks nothing like me.
当我在高中时 我与一个曲棍球队员约会 You know, when I was in high school, I dated a lacrosse player.
事实上 我跟他们很多人约会 In fact, I dated a few of them.
你不必说这些 You don't say.
我一直希望保罗能练练体育 I always wanted Paul to be more into sports.
但是他一点儿都不感兴趣 But he was never that interested.
你不必替他掩饰 You don't have to sugarcoat it.
芬奇是个笨蛋 Finch was a klutz.
耶 可能是吧 他没从我这学到什么 Yeah, I guess he was, but he did not get that from me.
我是拉拉队队长 I was head cheerleader.
如果说我从曲棍球队学到点什么的话 And if there's anything I learned from lacrosse players,
那就是手握球棒 it's that I like to handle a stick
大力击球 and cradle those balls.
我爱死你了 I love you.
准备好了吗？硬条？ Are you ready for me, Stifler?
当然 Yeah!
走吧 Let's go.
米歇尔 Michelle.
天啊 米歇尔 God, Michelle.
你太令人吃惊了 You are amazing!
比浴缸好？ Better than the bathtub?
好更多 Much.
比这个好？ Better than this?
当然 Of course.
脱掉衣服！ Take those off!
我们不能这样 We shouldn't be doing this.
不 我们就要这样 Yes, we should.
硬条君 Stifler.
芬奇妈咪！ Finch's mom!
叫我威猛硬条 Call me the Stifmeister!
耶 你是威猛硬条 Yeah, you are the Stifmeister.
MILF？（Mother I'd Like to Fuck） MILF?
芬奇妈妈！ Finch's mom!
MILF MILF.
快说我是最棒的 Tell me I'm the best.
你是最棒的！ You are the best!
MILF MILF.
MILF MILF MILF. MILF.
芬奇妈妈！ Finch's mom!
MILF！ MILF！ MILF！ MILF! MILF! MILF!
好！好！ Yes! Yes!
你儿子真是个傻蛋！ Your son's such a dork!
别提他 Stop talking about him!
好了 我们的第一次重聚会终于落下帷幕 Well, our first reunion is officially in the books.
我不知你怎么样 反正我是很爽 I don't know about you guys, but my night ended pretty well.
它太棒了 It was great.
玩得很开心 真令人难忘呀 I had a blast. It was unforgettable.
是TM的爽！我的精力旺盛的像一匹赛马 Fuck yeah! I jizzed like a racehorse.
你晚上干嘛了 硬条？ What happened to you at the end of the night, Stifler?
你跟谁在一起？ Who did you end up with?
男人这么八卦干嘛 吉姆 A gentleman never kisses and tells, Jim.
伙计们？ Guys?
我一会儿就回来 OK？ I'll be right back, okay?
卡拉 Kara!
嘿 嘿… HEY-HEY...
对于昨晚的话 我表示道歉 Look, I'm sorry about what I said the other night.
不 我才是要道歉的人 No, I'm the one who should be apologizing.
我不敢相信我所做的一切 我真是难为情啊 I can't believe the way I acted. I'm so embarrassed.
别 Don't be.
当我是你这么大的时候 我也对做爱很着迷 When I was your age I was pretty obsessed with sex, too.
我懂的 I know.
我看过你的视频了 I've seen the YouTube clip.
对的 你一定看过的 Of course you did.
不过 谢谢你的谅解 But, thanks for understanding.
我想过了 你是对的 I was thinking about it, and you're right.
我应该等待生命中那个特别的人 I should really wait for someone special.
我要找个跟你一样好的人 Just, it's going to be tough to find a guy as good as you.
我坚信你会找到的 I'm sure you will.
经过这周 我感觉自己焕然一新 I feel like a whole new man after this weekend.
唉 我们还是要离开了 Kind of sucks we have to leave, though.
我不走 我休假了 Not me. I'm going to take some time off my job
在这陪海瑟一段时间 and stick around here with Heather for a while.
棒极了 Nice!
你呢 芬奇？ What about you, Finch?
瑟琳娜和我将去欧洲旅行 Selena and I, we're planning a little jaunt to Europe.
记得打电话给你妈妈 她挺想你的 Just make sure you call your mom. She misses you.
你怎么知道？ How would you know?
我觉得这就是现实吧 I guess this is it, huh? Back to reality?
我们不应该等到下回重聚会再见面 We shouldn't wait until the next reunion.
我们应该每年都聚聚 We should try to get together every year.
怎么样 回会有期？ What do you say, until next time?
青山不改 绿水长流 Until next time. Until next time!
我上了芬奇的妈妈 I fucked Finch's mom.
什么？ What?
怎么回事？ What was that?
嗯？ M?
怎么了 What's this?
不要 亲爱的 不要 不要 不要 No, dean No, no, no.
不要 亲爱的 不要！ No, dear. No!
宝贝！宝贝！ Boy. Oh, boy! Oh, boy!
我的天！我的天！我的天！ My God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
我的天！ My God!
精彩的电影 Great movie.