是的 是个姨妈巾 Yeah, it was a tampon.
哦天哪 Oh, God.
伙计 你没法将这个从马桶冲下去 You can't flush 'em down a toilet, mate.
这些老的水管子都是粘土做的 These old pipes, they're clay.
好吧我想说这不是我做的 你说是吗？ Well, I mean, it wasn't me, was it?
很明显这谁都不能怪 Well, obviously, no one's to blame.
竟然要770？（这里是770澳元相当于 4400左右人民币） $770?
是啊，摄像器材非常贵的 Yeah, the camera equipment's pretty expensive.
而且第二个小时我也没按完整的时间收费 And I didn't charge you for the full second hour.
这是我们相机拍到的片子 Here's the camera footage we got.
片子？那个姨妈巾的？ Camera footage? Of the tampon?
对 Yeah.
那么接下来我去打扫一下 I'll clean up then.
约翰 我的宝贝儿 快来这儿 Oh, John, oh, baby, hey, come here.
- 英文字幕与时间轴：Sync and corrections by brayanatsix - - www.addic7ed.com - -中文字幕：新浪微博@大概不是逗比楠1025-
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这段时间还有谁呆在我们房子里？ Who's on their period in the house?
- 汤姆你知道吗？ - Tom? - 我不知道啊 - I don't know.
你怎么还躺着呢？你得起来啦 Why are you sitting? You have to get up. 我们需要去接克莱尔了 We have to go and get Claire.
哦 该死 我起来了 我起来了 Oh, shit. I'm up. I'm up.
我们现在可以冲个澡吗 Can we use the shower now?
不行 不能冲澡 我们快来不及了 No. No shower. There's no time.
- 但我很恶心啊 - But I'm disgusting. - 对 你的确挺恶心的 - Yeah, disgusting.
哦 派大星（海绵宝宝大家都看过吧） Oh, Patrick.
你带女孩子到我们家里来了？ Have you had any girls in the house?
没啊 No.
不 我也没带啊 No. It wasn't one of my friends.
我从来没带过女孩子来家里 I haven't brought any girls into the house.
你没穿裤子是怎么回事？ What's with the no-pants thing?
你裤子穿好了么？ Are we done with pants? 现在没人穿裤子了？ Is nobody wearing pants anymore?
我就这样啊。难道我今年第一次去见克莱尔 就得闻起来像这样吗？ This is it. This is how I'm gonna smell to see Claire for the first time in a year?
绝对是詹尼。很显然是她将姨妈巾冲掉的。 It was Jenny. Obviously, it was Jenny.
才不是她呢 It wasn't Jenny.
汤姆，你必须去告诉她再也不许将姨妈巾 扔到马桶里然后冲掉。 Tom, you're gonna have to tell her not to flush tampons down the toilet.
我才不会和她说这些呢 I'm not talking to her about that.
哦不汤姆。来姨妈对她来说也许是挺新鲜的事 No. Tom, this is probably new to her, okay?
她现在也许有些害怕或是有些迷茫 She's probably scared and a little bit confused
并且你是个大人我认为你有责任去 and, as the adult, I just think you've the responsibility
来和她谈谈这 to talk to her about it.
我说过了不是她做的 It wasn't Jenny.
也可能是啊，是太蠢了，来姨妈对她 是件新鲜事，好吗？ Might as well be, it's stupid, it's new to her, okay?
- 嗨 - Hi. - 我来了，我在这儿呢 - I'm coming. I'm here.
我闻起来不太好 I smell not very good.
我们已经到了。我们正在停车 We're here. We're just parking, okay?
我们马上来接你帮你拿行李 We'll come get you and help you with your bags.
我付不起那么多钱 I can't afford $770.
哦不 Nope.
那么谁来给钱呢？ Who's gonna pay?
我也不懂啊。你觉得这是不是太粗鲁了 以至于不能去问詹尼？ I dunno. Do you think it's too rude to ask Jenny?
通常是这样，地主们通常为这样的事情买单 Yes. Usually, landlords pay for stuff like this.
要不你去问你爸爸？ You gonna ask your dad?
不，一个会有更好的方法，对吗？ No, there just has to be a better way, doesn't there?
嘿嘿 克莱尔 Ho, ho, Claire.
- 你终于回来啦 - Here she is. - 哈哈哈 - Ha, ha, ha.
嘿 我来拿 Hey, I got it.
我现在非常好奇 So I'm pretty curious
因为飞机上有个人坐在我边上 because the guy who was sitting next to me,
我觉得当我睡觉的时候那人 I think ate all of my cheese and crackers
吃掉我所有的奶酪和咸饼干 while I was asleep.
谁会做那种事啊？ Who does that?
别担心，汤姆，我知道 Don't worry, Tom, I got these.
卡莱尔，汤姆他现在有了个小女朋友 Claire, Tom, he has a child girlfriend.
是个高中生 She's in high school.
他之前背着她做了些事，之后呢 He's been really mean to her and then,
为了弥补他的内疚感所以做了很多的承诺， 他买了兔子给她，对吧汤姆 over-committing to offset his guilt, he bought her a rabbit, right?
那兔子之前住在我们家里 Which lives in our house.
汤姆和我以及一个高中小女生现在 Tom and I are currently co-parenting a rabbit
都在监护着一个兔子 with a girl in high school.
并且呢她在我们房子里住的那段时间 Also, she got her period in the house
竟然将她的姨妈巾从马桶里冲了下去 and she flushed a tampon down the toilet
这花了我们770块 and it cost $770.
克莱尔我们根本付不起那么多钱 We can't afford $770, Claire.
乔什找了个合租房子的人就因为他 认为那人长的很漂亮 Josh got a flatmate because he thought the flatmate was pretty
并且他也爱上了那个合租的人 and he fell in love with the flatmate.
那个男的亲了乔什一口因为当时他很无聊 Then the flatmate kissed Josh because the flatmate was bored.
然后乔什小便小到身上了 Then Josh pissed his pants.
所以你今天得对他温柔些因为他今天很难过 So you should be delicate with Josh 'cause he's sad today.
不，我才不是因为帕特里克难过好吗？ No. I'm not sad because of Patrick, okay?
我难过是因为你的错误的选择花了我们 770块 I'm sad 'cause your bad choices are costing us $770.
我种的马铃薯死了而且我必须每天早上起来 My tomato plant is dead and also I have to wake up
然后看见你的脸，每天，每天我都得这样 and look at your face every day, every single day.
汤姆，你知道我对这的感受是什么吧 Do you know what that's like for me, Tom?
毕竟帕德里克是个帅比 And Patrick's handsome face.
别争了 Okay.
你最近在做些啥 What have you been up to?
你知道的我就在汉堡（德国城市）上班 I'm just working in Hamburg, you know?
他今天早上看起来一点都不尴尬，难道不是吗？ He didn't even seem awkward about it this morning, did he?
我是指我认为他根本就没考虑过 I mean, like, I don't think he's thought about it at all.
我认为对于他来说别人吻我就像个笑话 I think, to him, kissing me was, like, a joke.
或者只是件趣事 I think, to him, kissing me was, like, funny.
我已经厌烦了，对于你们这样太厌烦了 I am so tired. Too tired for this.
对 这是件好事 Yeah, that is good news
因为我可以将你载到家后 'cause I have to drop you at home
然后去问我爸要770块 and then go and ask my dad for $770.
我猜我回来的确是件好事 Well, I guess it's nice to be back.
对 你毕竟想死我们了 Yeah. You missed us, okay?
你喜欢我们 You like us.
真他妈的 Bloody hell.
乔什我才不想帮你去擦屁股 I don't want to bail you out, Josh.
每次我帮你擦完屁股，你什么都没学到 Every time I bail you out, you never learn anything.
我就是不知道我得从这件事中学到什么 I just don't know what I was meant to learn from this.
再也不将卫生巾从马桶里冲下去？ Not to flush tampons down the toilet？
这就是我要学的？ Is that the lesson?
你有责任去看管好那个房子 It's your responsibility to look after the house.
当我同意你搬进去住的时候我们已经说好了 That's what we talked about when I let you move in.
我就不知道我怎么才能避免这事发生 Just don't know how I could have avoided this.
你想让我以后不再邀请女孩子们过来 尤其当她们看起来郁郁寡欢的时候？ Do you want me to stop inviting girls over if they seem moody?
我就是不知道我现在在这儿该做些什么， 可以吗？ I'm just not sure what to do here, okay?
对，你是房东啊。 Yeah, you're the landlord.
如果我不是你儿子，你也必须为这买单 If I wasn't your son, you'd just have to pay for it.
你有责任为房子的维修付钱 It's your responsibility to pay for upkeep of the house.
不，如果我是你的话我才不会没事儿做 去管这个事 No, I wouldn't be trying to reposition this
作为一个传统的房东与房客的关系 as a traditional landlord/tenant relationship, if I were you.
房客付租金的 Tenants pay rent.
我去小便 I'm gonna pee.
总有一天会被我看到的，是吗？ It's gonna be one of those days for me, isn't it?
哦 不不不不 我没有 Oh, no, no, no. I wasn't...
你想做什么 You know, what are you thinking? Hm?
你什么时候在我的门上涂鸦的 When you draw on my door?
不 我很抱歉 我刚才... 那儿刚刚有个纳粹十字符号 No, I'm sorry, I just... there was a swastika there
我就想这样会更好如果 and I just thought it'd be better if,
一个房子可以取代它 instead of a swastika, there was a house,
你知道我什么意思吧 因为纳粹很坏 do you know what I mean? Because Nazis are bad.
这是故意毁坏的行为 This is vandalism.
对，但是我想这样会更好， Yeah, but I just thought it would be nicer if,
将一个纳粹十字符号 instead of having a swastika,
变成一个房子和一家可爱的人 if you had a house with a little cute family.
我不知道我为什么需要在意 I don't know why I care.
你知道我想画一个犹太人家庭 Okay, I wanted to draw a Jewish family, you know,
因为你知道的 because, you know,
但是真的很难画出看起来没那么 种族歧视的图画 but that's really hard to do without looking a bit racist
所以我画了个同性恋家庭来取代 so instead I drew a gay family,
你看到了吧因为画一个同性家庭更容易 you see, 'cause it's easier to draw a gay family.
就只需要画两个小伙子，你知道吗？ It's just two lads, do you know?
因为大家总会忘记纳粹是怎样杀同性恋的 'Cause everyone always forgets that they killed gays as well.
那你干脆在我的额头上写“阴茎”得了 Well, why don't you just write "Prick" on my forehead?
- 来来继续啊 - Well, go on. - 不 - No.
在我前额上写个“阴茎” Write "Prick" on my forehead.
谁打给你了？ Who's that?
是我爸爸 It's my dad. Huh?
-爸爸好 -Hi, Dad. -让我和你爸说 -Let me take it.
那是谁？你在哪儿？ Who's that? Where are you?
我在厕所，我惹了点小麻烦 I'm in the toilets where I got in trouble.
麻烦？你什么意思 Trouble? What do you mean?
哪样的麻烦？ What kind of trouble?
不算什么事儿 It's no big deal.
美化了下别人的乱涂乱画 Editing some graffiti.
乱涂乱画？ Graffiti?
你在毁坏...? You were vandaliz...
你在毁坏公共财产？ You were vandalizing?
是啊，但是是以一种神圣的方式， 你知道我说的是什么意思吧 Yeah, in, like, a noble way, do you know what I mean?
像班克斯一样（一名英国涂鸦艺术家） Like Banksy.
你是这男孩儿的爸爸吗？ Are you this boy's dad?
对啊。你是谁？ Yes. Who are you?
我是这儿的清洁工 I'm the cleaner.
碰巧抓到巴特辛普森在我的门上画画 （美国动画辛普森一家中的人物） Just caught Bart Simpson over here drawing on my door.
嗯 你想怎样？ Yes, and, what do you want?
- 我就是想... - I just thought... - 哦，你滚开吧，听懂了吗？ - Oh, just fuck off, will you?
你行啊，我去叫保安了 Oh, okay, well, I'm gonna get you security.
乔什... Josh...
哦该死 Oh, shit.
-我们赶紧走吧 -Let's get out of here. -对，我们最好走了 -Oh, yeah, we better go.
汪达尔人的作风（估计破坏公共财产的行为） 就像是个可恶的青少年 Vandalism, like a fucking teenager.
快点 Hurry up.
- 乔什？ - Josh? - 嗯？ - Yeah.
归根到底还是这种事 It comes down to this.
我看着你我就觉得你很迷茫 I look at you and I think you're lost.
我感到不知所措当我看着你的时候 And I feel lost when I look at you.
你是个聪明的小孩儿并且我猜你需要认清自己 You're a smart kid and I guess you have to decide
今后是想成为有作为的人还就是做个普通人 whether you want to be somebody or just anybody.
Yeah.
并且我认为我太溺爱你了 And I think I've mollycoddled you.
你知道是时候你去承担点责任了 You know, it's time you started taking some responsibility for something.
Yeah.
你将格蕾丝落下了，对吗 You've left Grace behind, yeah?
真该死 Shit, shit, shit.
你不太喜欢八卦，是吗？ You don't gossip much, do you?
不喜欢 No.
斯图尔特和我上床了 Stuart and I had sex.
注意到了 Noted.
你就想说这么多吗 Is that all you're gonna say about it?
他有老婆 There's a wife.
但在这儿我向你保证这事与我无关 This here, I guarantee you, is not my thing.
我之前那段时间也不知道他有老婆 Well, I didn't know he had a wife at the time
但对此我也一点都不感到内疚 but I don't feel guilty about it.
- 你觉得我需要感到内疚吗？ - Do you think I should feel guilty? - 我不这样认为 - I don't think.
我也没啥头绪 I have no thoughts.
金杰很有想法 Ginger has a lot of thoughts.
我不能告诉金杰 I couldn't tell Ginger.
我永远不可能知道她会对这件事做 出怎样的反应 I never know how she's gonna react to things.
她疯了 She's crazy.
我们都疯了。那也是个问题 We're all crazy. That's kind of the point.
哦 她会告诉所有人 她就喜欢这么做 Oh. She'd just tell everybody. She'd love it too much.
也许换吧 Perhaps.
不 我认为她觉得她自己是这里神智最清的人 No, I think she thinks she's the most sane person in here.
- 那是相当的疯狂 - Now that's pretty crazy. - 每个人都认为自己是神智最清的 - Everyone thinks they're the most sane.
也对，但是对于她来说不是 Yeah, but for her to say that. 我的意思是，她可是金杰 I mean, she's Ginger.
我就知道 I knew it.
我就知道你会在背后说我坏话 I knew you'd talk about me behind my back.
哦糟了 Oh, shit.
大家听好了 Everybody, listen up,
我这儿有大消息并且我可不能一个人留着 这消息 I've got news and I can't keep it to myself.
喂 喂（澳洲土著人的招呼声） Cooey! Cooey!
- 这将振奋你们每个人 - It'll rock you to your very core. - 是什么消息？ - What is it?
- 哦，金杰 - Oh, Ginger. - 这是关于...哦，怎么了萝丝？ - It's about... Oh, what Rose?
你自己都不好意思了？ Are you ashamed?
你自己在那儿看起来对自己特别骄傲呢 You seemed quite proud of yourself back there.
- 我想知道是什么消息 - I want to know what the news is. 好，摩德利，是关于萝丝 - Well, Maudrey, it's about Rose.
哦，金杰，听着，我不是故意说这些事情... Oh, Ginger, look, I didn't mean any of those things...
萝丝是 Rose is...
- 是一头母猪 - a pig. - 她不是啊 - She isn't.
- 她是 - She is. - 哦！ - Ohh!
哦我给你做了块蛋糕 Oh, I made you a cake.
我忘了我忘了 I forgot, I forgot.
我们该做什么来庆祝克莱尔回来了？ What are we doing to celebrate Claire coming back?
我做了蛋糕 I made a cake.
一起来跳舞吧 Let's go dancing.
我不太擅长保存蛋糕 I'm not very good at icing.
但是... But...
我今晚不能和你们出去 I can't hang out tonight.
我得去看詹尼 I have to see Jenny.
但是克莱尔才回来了啊 But Claire just got back.
我都做了个蛋糕 I made a cake.
- 我不得不去 - I just have to. - 没关系的 - It's fine.
我很累了，我们可以明天去耍 I'm tired. We'll just do something tomorrow.
不，你那是什么不可动摇的计划？ No, what are these immovable plans?
今晚是詹尼学校的音乐演出 It is Jenny's school musical tonight.
哦，我们一起去吧 Oh, let's go out.
- 我们应该去 - We should go out. - 是的 - Yes.
今天可是你第一天回来 Yeah, you know, it's your first day back.
我们需要去款待你 We need to entertain you.
不，你们不能去 No, you can't come.
- 为什么？ - Why? - 票卖光了？ - Is it sold out?
我希望不是 我本来想去预定的 但是我一直没去归还单子 I hope not. I was meant to book but I never gave back the slip.
- 那儿有酒喝吗？ - Will there be alcohol there? - 我觉得没有 - I don't think so.
- 你这儿有果汁吗？ - Do you have juice? 有的 - Yeah.
- 我们需要在果汁里面加些伏特加 - We should pour vodka into juice. - 对哦 - Yes.
对的，带上那个，就这么说定了 Yeah, with that, it is done.
♪ Over hill 越过山岗 ♪ ♪ Over dale 再跳过小溪♪
♪ Thorough bush 穿过树丛 ♪ ♪ Thorough brier又绕过荆棘 ♪
♪ Over park 走过公园♪ ♪ Over pale 又翻过栅栏♪
♪ Thorough flood 淌过洪流♪ ♪ Thorough fire 又钻过烈焰♪
哦谢谢 Yeah, I'm fine.
♪ I do wander everywhere 我到处游荡♪ ♪ Swifter than the moon's... 我比月亮更加迅疾♪
出来很好还能学到点儿文化 It's good to get out and get a bit of culture.
那是莎士比亚说的 Shakespeare.
不，汤姆，我还以为这是个音乐会 No, Tom, I thought this was a musical.
这的确是 It is.
“仲夏夜之梦”在这个现代被重新构造了 "A 'Midsummer Night's Dream' is re-imagined in the modern day
伴随着来自八九十年代以及如今的流行乐 with pop songs from the '80s, '90s and now."
哦对的，我是想说 Oh, yeah, I mean,
这就是莎士比亚所想要的 that's what Shakespeare would have wanted.
额，他的确没把这当做音乐剧来写但是... Well, he didn't write it as a musical but...
这不意味着这会比作为一个音乐剧好 Doesn't mean it's not gonna be better as a musical.
我想说他怎么做决定的 I mean, how he could decide?
他不可能有能力知道八九十年代和如今 的流行乐 It's not like he had access to the hits of '80s, '90s and now.
伙计们，别毒害我的大脑了 Guys, don't poison my mind.
我需要让我自己相信这是好的这样接下来 我就能持一种支持态度了 I need to convince myself this is good so I can be supportive after.
♪ I must go seek some dewdrops here ♪ ♪ 我需要在此把露珠寻觅 ♪
汤姆你觉得怎样 How you feeling, Tom?
紧张 Nervous.
她是表演哪部分的？ Which one is she?
♪ We'll always be together ♪ ♪ 我们将会一直在一起 ♪
♪ However far it seems ♪ ♪ 无论这看起来有多远 ♪
♪ Love never ends ♪ ♪ 爱永远不会结束 ♪
♪ We'll always be together ♪ ♪ 我们会永远在一起 ♪
♪ Together in electric dreams ♪ ♪ 一起在这个电子的梦幻中 ♪
哦 这太差劲了♪ Oh, this sucks.
才不是你 这些孩子可比你有才华多了 No way. These kids are way more talented than you are.
- 哦不 这根本不是事实 - No. That just is not true. - 安静点好吗 - Please be quiet.
她说我们在音乐剧上没天分 She said we're not talented at musicals.
请闭嘴 Please just be quiet.
你现在只需要为自己辩护，托马斯 Only if you defend yourself, Thomas, now.
嘘 嘘 Shh, shh.
♪ We'll always be together ♪
♪ Howev-faaar it ♪
♪ Toom doom doom doo ♪
♪ We'll always be together ♪
好吧 这些孩子是一团糟 传统音乐剧才是最好的 Okay, these kids are trash, classical musicals were perfection.
谢谢你 Thank you.
- 为什么金杰坐在那里？ - Why is Ginger over there? - 我也不知道 - Never mind.
她通常都是和我们坐在一起的 It's just usually she sits here with us.
爸爸和妈妈在吵架呢 Mom and Dad are fighting.
对，这儿的确有紧张的氛围。我能感受到 我不是来医院感受紧张气氛的 Yep, there's tension. I can feel tension. I didn't come to hospital to feel tension.
我本可以和我的家人呆在家里的 I could have just stayed at home with my family.
我要去我房里吃了 I'm gonna go eat in my room.
我怎么没那么想过？ Why didn't I think of that?
食物，床 Food, bed.
他们都位列于我最喜欢的十样东西 They're my top ten favorite things.
我不知道该做些什么 I don't know what to do.
你可以和她谈谈吗？ Could you have a talk to her?
不，这不关我的事 No, not my thing.
哦 我受不了这样 Oh, I can't stand this.
我知道你不想和我说话 但是我需要 让你知道我很抱歉 I know you don't want to talk to me but I need you to know that I'm sorry.
- 我真的不是故意说那些的 - I didn't mean any of those things I said. - 是的 你是故意的 - Yes, you meant it.
那一切都是你故意说的 而且你也没说错 You meant everything you said. And they're all true.
所有的那些事情都是对的 All those things are true.
对对，行吧 我的确是故意的 Yeah, okay, all right, yes, I did mean 'em.
但是我说的那些事也都不是坏话 But those things I said are not bad things.
那些都是你自己身上的缺陷 并且我真的很喜欢他们 They're just flaws that you have and I really like them, those flaws.
我真的很喜欢和你一起玩儿 I really like hanging out with you.
那不就是友谊吗？ Is that what friendship is?
我不知道那是否还是友谊 I dunno what friendship is anymore.
知道你还在这儿 At least you're still here.
我也就一直在这儿 I just stayed here the same way
我有时坐这儿是为了看X音速（选秀节目） I sometimes sit through "The X Factor."
因为找不到遥控器 Can't find the remote.
不知如何翻译 求大神 And all my right of her I do estate unto Demetrius.
啥、 What?
- 啥？ - What? - 她竟然有翅膀.（那女的内裤里面 好像垫了卫生巾 我是这么理解的） - She has wings.
你什么意思 What do you mean?
发生了什么 What's going on?
没什么 Nothing's going on.
自己看 Just look.
- 那是什么？ - What's that? - 小翅膀 - Wings.
翅膀？ Wings?
- 姨妈巾 - Wings. - 就像是在衬垫上 - Like on a pad.
不 No.
才不是呢 这只是戏服的一部分 It's not. It's just part of the costume.
汤姆那不是戏服 Tom, it's not the costume.
好吧 詹尼欠我770澳元 Well, Jenny owes me $770.
根本不相干 好吧 不相干 Unrelated. Okay, unrelated.
我们出去吧 Well, let's get out of here.
我们需要呆在这儿看第二部分 No, we have to stay for the second half.
我不会再呆在这儿了 I'm not staying any longer.
我很抱歉 I'm sorry.
你俩为啥不去散个步 Why don't you two go for a walk
我会和汤姆呆在这儿看完剩下的部分 and I'll stay here and watch the rest of it with Tom.
- 很好啊 - Cool. - 行吧 - Okay.
这儿就是地狱 This is hell.
我太倒时差了而且这就是地狱 I am so jetlagged and this is hell.
我觉得表演很棒啊 I think the play's been good.
滚开吧 Fuck off.
我哦 Oh.
我以前认为你也许很擅长运动 I just thought you might be, like, pretty talented at sports.
- 不是？ - No? - 我很擅长。我以前学过体操 - I am. I did gymnastics.
- 算了吧 - Stop it. - Yeah.
- 你才没有 - You didn't. - 我之前可是体操冠军 - I was gymnastics champion.
有一段时间我去上过体操课 The time I went to do gymnastics in class
这是我高中生涯排名第六的最丢脸的时刻 is the sixth most humiliating moment of my high school years.
但是你却是如此的优雅 But you're so graceful.
对 Yeah.
的确 Yeah.
难道那不是你能想象的最刻薄的事情？ Isn't that just the meanest thing you can imagine?
让青少年在其他同龄人面前做体操？ Making teenagers do gymnastics in front of other teenagers?
尽管我没必要去做那个 I didn't have to do it, though.
我爸爸他给我了个便条让我摆脱了这个 My dad, he gave me a note to get out of it, right?
那借口是什么？ Hmm, what was the excuse?
因为足趾嵌甲做了手术 That I have had surgery on my ingrown toenails
在几周之前 a few weeks before.
怪不得你的脚趾甲如此诡异 That's why your toenails are so weird.
对的 那个老师..所以...哇哦 Yeah, the teacher... so the... whoa!
哇哦哦哦哦哦哦 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
你认为我的脚趾甲诡异多久了？ How long have you thought that I have weird toenails?
自从我看过他们以后 Since I saw them.
好吧 Okay. Well...
老师仍然需要评我的等级，你知道吗？ The teacher still had to grade me, right?
所以我必须要按那套体操的规矩来做 但我没有任何体操的基础 So I had to do like a gymnastics routine but without any gymnastics in it.
我不能捉摸那样的可能 I cannot fathom how that is possible.
她让我做的是前滚翻 What she made me do, right, is to replace forward rolls
我的手臂需要像这样并且要旋转 with my arms like this and spinning,
还要双臂像这样平展开转圈 and cartwheels were arms out like this
然后我需要将这些合起来做 and then I had to, like, put together a routine
接着她就判断我做的怎样 and then she just judged me on how well I, like,
利用这个空间 used the space.
我不知道她怎样让我看起来更加的丢脸 I do not know how she found a way to make it more humiliating.
你可以像我展示这套吗？ Will you show me this routine?
我说 我很乐意向你展示我的这套 如果你展示给我你那冠军的一套 I mean, I'm happy to show you my routine if you show me your champion routine.
好啊 All right, fuck, yeah.
我会做的 I'll do it.
哦 Ooh. Yeah.
你很认真吗 Oh, you're very serious.
对 Oh, yeah.
Ooh.
那... That's...
Yeah.
真的好棒 That's gorgeous.
哦不，这根本不是我那套 No, that's not my thing.
哇哦 Whoa!
你知道你做的真的很棒 You know, that was quite good.
这是我看过的最漂亮的体操表演 It's the most beautiful gymnastics I've ever seen.
揭开你的面具，变装舞者 Unveil yourself, masked dancer.
ok，杀了我吧 Okay, kill me.
♪ Now the hungry lion roars ♪
我打赌你不敢碰那女的头发 I dare you to touch that girl's hair.
我才不会碰别人的头发 I'm not touching someone's hair.
我会把剩下的果汁给你 I'll give you the rest of this juice
如果你碰了那女孩子的头发 if you touch that girl's hair.
哦闭嘴 No, shut up.
♪ All with Weary task fordone ♪
♪ Now the wasted brands do glow ♪ ♪ Whilst the screech-owl ♪
♪ Screeching loud puts the wretch that lies in woe ♪
♪ In remembrance of a shroud ♪
♪ Now it is the time of night ♪
♪ That the graves ♪ ♪ All gaping wide ♪
♪ Every one lets forth his ♪
他的老婆在这儿 His wife's here.
他老婆来了 His wife's here.
哦 金杰 忘了这个吧 Oh, Ginger, just leave it.
哦 不不不 Oh, no, no, no.
我们不会再争吵了 We're not fighting anymore.
我现在很无聊 I'm bored.
我们在一条船上 We're a team.
哦 那很好 Oh, well, great.
对啊 让我们一起去会会她 Yeah, so let's get her. 这是我们最好的机会 It's our big chance.
- 会会她？ - Get her? - 对 去会会她？ - Yes. Let's get her.
来啊 Come on.
我不想去会会她啊 I don't want to get her.
你只需要记着我是在全班同学 You just have to remember that I was doing this
面前做的这个，知道了吗？ in front of the entire class, yes?
了解 Okay.
抱歉 Sorry.
快来快来 Come on, come on.
我们搞定她有什么计划？ So what's the plan to get her?
我也不知道 I don't know yet.
我真的不认为我们应该搞定她 I really don't think we should get her.
你的发型很赞 Your hair looks nice.
它看起来一点也不棒，斯图尔特，对吗？ Well, it doesn't look nice, Stuart, does it?
这也不是我想要的 It isn't what I asked for.
没有人再会像我这样做头发 No one does their hair like this anymore.
她真是个小人 What a little ... she is.
好吧，它看起来很糟，我也不知道 Okay, it looks shit, I don't know.
好吧，你像猪一样的打理你自己也不咋样 Yeah, well, you're no prize pig yourself.
金杰，我认为我们需要走了 Ginger, I think we should leave.
让他们俩呆着吧 Just leave them be.
不 我们过会儿去会会她 No. We're gonna get her.
金杰 没有人去会没有人 Ginger, no one is getting anybody.
她是他老婆 她是来探访的 She's his wife. She's visiting.
这很好 It's nice.
哦 我的天呢 Oh, God.
怎么了？ What happened?
天啊 那太疼了 God, that hurt so much.
黑兹尔 我能帮你做些什么吗？ What can I do for you, Hazel?
他在抱她 适得其反了 He's hugging her. It's backfired.
下次 我会拿硬币砸你 Next time, I'll aim the coin at you.
走啦 Come on.
亚美爹 Stop.
你不会要把我的裤子脱下来吧 You're not gonna take my pants off.
为什么不呢？来啊，会很有趣的 Why not? Come on, it's fun.
我们现在在学校的篮球场上 We're, like, on a basketball court at school.
这样一定会很有趣 It's like a fun thing.
我还没意识到你会是这样一个小骚货 I didn't realize you were so slutty.
这从来不会是淫荡的 It's never slutty.
好吧 允许我做个小骚货 it's fine, allowed to be slutty.
你不觉得你太冷淡了吗？ Didn't realize you were so frigid.
乔什！ Josh!
乔什，我带来了个大明星，詹尼 Josh, I have a superstar, Jenny!
我没让你脱下我的裤子是明智的吧 Aren't you glad I didn't take the pants off?
不太是 Not really.
你好啊 Hi.
哦，抱歉 Ooh, sorry.
我们应该走开吗 Shall we leave?
不 没关系的 No, no. It's fine.
我们可以... We can...
我们可以暂停一下 We can pause.
我很抱歉让你们俩在那儿坐那么久 I'm sorry you guys had to sit through that.
我知道表演很糟糕 I know it's lame.
但是我需要让你们大家知道 我也认为这个表演很差劲 But I need you all to know I know it's lame.
不，那很好 No, it was good.
詹尼，这很好 Jenny, it was fine.
我们俩看不懂，我保证 Ours were heap spots, I promise.
你看起来很棒 You looked hot.
克莱尔 Claire.
停下来 Stop it.
我喝多了而且我已经三天没睡了 I'm very drunk and I haven't slept in three days.
克莱尔喝掉了所有的果汁 Claire drank all the juice.
对 汤姆给了我所有的果汁因为 汤姆想让我喝醉 Well, Tom gave it to me because Tom was trying to get me tipsy.
我还有多下来的 如果你们想喝的话 I am-I have some more if anyone wants.
太棒了 Tremendous.
你知道关于倒时差有些神奇的事 You know, there's something about being jetlagged,
它总会使我感觉我来大姨妈了 你们知道吗 it always makes me feel like I'm on my period, you know?
不 No.
我之前也倒过时差 I've been jetlagged before.
它不会使你感觉到你来大姨妈了 It doesn't make you feel like you're on your period.
仲夏夜之梦！ Midsummer Night's Dream!
你告诉他们了？ Did you tell them?
汤姆 他们怎么知道我来大姨妈了？ Tom, how do they know I'm on my period?
他们不知道 They don't.
好吧 他们知道 Okay, well, they do.
我的确知道 We do.
- 詹尼 - Jenny. - 怎么了？ - How?
我不想谈论这个了 I don't want to talk about it.
- 你告诉他们了？ - You told them? - 没 - No.
汤姆 那太疯狂了 Tom, that's crazy.
这...我只是... It's... I just...
你只是什么？ What?
这是...过来 It's... come here.
所以事情是这样发生的当你们在 跳坎坎舞时 So what happened is when you were doing the can-can,
我们看到了你的护翼 we saw your wings.
- 翅膀？ - Wings? - 对的，你的姨妈巾 - Yeah, your wings.
好吧 我得走了 Okay. I'm gonna go.
- 我和你一起走 - I'll come. - 不用了 - No. No.
你和你朋友呆一起吧 You stay here with these guys.
詹尼 Jenny.
你们所有人都他妈的这么不成熟 You're all so fucking immature.
卫生巾是我弄的 It was my tampon.
今早在排水管里的是我的卫生巾 In the drain this morning, it was my tampon.
我无法想象你说那是什么意思？ I cannot begin to imagine what you mean by that.
兄弟 Dude.
你是个男生 You're a boy.
那时我蹲在马桶上我就看见它躺在那里 I was on the toilet and I saw it sitting there
然后我意识到了我从来没有见过这个 and I realized that I'd never seen one
这很诡异因为它们也是这个世界上重要 的一部分 and that's weird because they're a big part of the world,
它们很重要但我从来没见过一个 they're important and I'd never seen one,
在我眼前这么近的地方 not up close.
所以我打开它并且好好的研究了一下 So I unwrapped it and I took a good look.
我撕开了它的一部分并且我看到了 它是怎样做成的 I pulled it apart a bit to see how it's made
然后我把它冲掉了 and then I flushed it.
哈哈，我们今天看到了一条如此具有天赋的蠢驴 By the way, we saw a very talented donkey.
的确一只超有天分的蠢驴 Such a talented donkey.
谢谢观看 有好的建议可以微博私信我哦