你在看什么 What are you looking at?
一定会让你感到快乐的27张图片 "27 Pictures That Will Make You Feel Joyful."
看起来没什么效果 That does not look like it's working.
上面有一只老虎在哺乳仔猪 这太可怕了 There was a tiger breastfeeding piglets before... That was pretty awesome.
哦 是啊 我喜欢不可思议的动物朋友 Oh, yeah, I love unlikely animal friends.
我希望约翰会交一些不可思义的动物朋友 I wish John would make an unlikely animal friend.
约翰 John.
我真的觉得我和克莱尔能重新在一起 I didn't really think Claire and I would get back together
直到她说我们不能 until she said we weren't.
然后我意识到我所做的每一个选择 Then I realized actually every choice I've made
至从我们分手以来 我只是在踏水 since we broke up has been me just treading water
直到她回来我们才能在一起 until she gets home so we can be together
我可以摸她的头发和东西 and I can touch her hair and stuff.
-你想要一杯咖啡吗 -不了 - Do you want a toffee? - No.
所有的东西吃起来都是苦的 Everything just tastes like sad.
汤姆 我知道你很难过 Tom, I get you're hurt, okay,
但是我的太妃糖吃起来并不是那样的 but my toffees don't taste like sad.
-你认为是德国的那个老家伙改变了她吗 -不是 - Think that old guy in Germany changed her? - No.
虽然他看起来不像是 Although he does seem like the kind of guy
想从依赖小动物中 that doesn't rely on baby animals
-得到快乐的人 -是啊 - to help him feel joyful. - Yeah.
-她喜欢那样 -是啊 - She'd like that. - Yeah.
而不是一个包袱 Not a wrapped one!
天呐 Oh my God.
-这真的很好吃 -我知道 没错吧 - These are really delicious. - I know, right?
我要在我的车上把它们卖给很多的小孩子 I'm going to sell so many of these babies on my cart.
-你要成为一个百万富翁了 -是的 - You're going to be a millionaire. - Yeah.
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第九集
第二季
请喜欢我
-嘿 阿诺德 -早上好 - Hey, Arnold. - Good morning.
你说过你五点就要起床的 You said you had to be up by 5:00,
所以我只是打电话来确认下你有没有起来了 so I was just calling to make sure you did that.
-我一直起的很早 -还没 - always wake up early. - No...
时间还没到 时间还没到 I have more time, I have more time.
哦 糟糕 对不起 Oh, shit, sorry.
嗯 没事 Um, okay.
-我晚一点再打给你 -不用了 这很好 - I'll call you back later? - No, it's good.
这很好 It's good.
-嗨 -嗨 - Hi. - Hi.
-跟我说话让我清醒 -好的 - Just talk me awake. - Okay.
嗯 Um...
你今晚还是会和我约会是吗 So you still want to go on our date tonight?
-是的 -好的 很好 我只是担心 - Yeah.- Okay, good, I'm just worried...
我不是担心 我只是 I'm not worried, I just...
我的父母不知道我是同志 My parents don't know I'm gay,
所以你不能像那样做任何事 so you can't like do anything.
什么 What?
你不能摸我 You can't touch me.
他们不 他们不知道 They don't... They don't know?
因此你不能下车 行吗 So you can't get out of the car, okay?
只能用短信表达 Just text on approach.
-行 -而且我的心理医生 - Deal. Also my psychiatrist
-今天会去看你的咖啡车 -好吧 - is coming to see your cart today. - Okay.
-她知道你是同志吗 -知道 - Does she know you're gay? - Yeah.
她对你很紧张 She's nervous about you,
所以你要 so you have to be...
什么 What?
-得体些 -得体 - Decent. - Decent?
哦 我爸的电话 Oh, it's my dad.
好吧 我待会打给你 Okay, I'll call you back.
哦 嗯 好的 Oh, uh, okay.
-嗨 乔希 是爸爸 -嗨 - Hi, Josh, it's Dad...- Hi.
是的 我起来了 Yeah, I'm up.
我起来了 可以吧 我很乖 我起来了 I'm up, okay? I'm good, I'm up.
你知道你要在人们上班前去哪里的 You know you need to be there before people get to work.
是的 我知道 我起来了 我只是说我已经起来了 Yeah, I know, I'm up, I just said I was up!
耶稣基督 Jesus Christ!
我想告诉你些事 There's something I want to tell you
而且我要你现在就因为梅会晚点到 and I want to do it now because Mae'll be there later.
我爱梅 I love Mae.
-这很好啊 -是的 - That's good, that's nice. - Yes.
我想跟他结婚 And I want to marry her.
很美好 Brilliant.
这是美好的事 That's brilliant.
这很好 That is good.
孩子 这对我很重要 我要你的同意 Boy, it means a lot to me that I have your permission.
-嗯 -乔希 我是真的喜欢她的 - Mmm... - I adore her, Josh, I do.
她知道自己的心意 She knows her own mind,
她聪明 风趣 she's smart,she's funny,
她是可爱的 意想不到的 she does cute,unexpected little things.
而且她很性感 And she's sexy.
她很性感 She's sexy.
她让我感觉很好 She makes me feel good.
你知道的 就像我是养家糊口的人 我是个男人 You know, like I'm providing, like I'm a man.
因为 你知道的 我不是真的 'Cause, you know, I'm not really
-那么男人 乔希 -是啊 - much of a man, Josh. - Yeah.
大多数时间我都不知道发生了什么事情 I don't know what's going on most of the time.
有时候当我回到家 我感到相当的失落 Sometimes when I get home, I feel quite lost.
但是她爱我 而且格蕾丝也爱我 But she loves me and Gracie loves me
而且让我感觉很好 and that makes me feel good.
-舒服 -爸 我得 - Comfortable. - Dad, I have to...
我得去洗澡了 好吗 I have to go and have a shower, okay?
哦 好的 好的 Oh, yeah, yeah.
-待会见 -好的 - I'll see you there later.- Okay.
-再见 -再见 - Bye. - Bye.
呼叫阿诺德 Call Arnold.
嗨 Hi.
我爸要向梅求婚 My dad's gonna propose to Mae.
哇哦 Wow.
好的 嗯 需要重新安排我们的约会吗 Okay, um, do we need to reschedule our date?
不用 Nah.
为什么 Why?!
我不想偷走你爸的行动 I don't want to steal your dad's thunder.
为什么 Why?
你打算向我求婚吗 Are you planning on proposing?
哦 没有 没有 没有 没有 Oh no, no, no, no.
对不起 I'm sorry.
-好吧 我要走了 好吧 -好的 - Okay, I have to go now, okay? - Okay.
好的 待会再见 Well, I'll see you later.
请不要向我的心理医生提起 Please just don't mention to my psychiatrist that
我对你说过她对你很紧张 I said she was nervous about you.
这怎那这么多规矩啊 阿诺德 规矩也太多了吧 There's just so many rules, Arnold. There are so many rules.
我只是得到一个印象 她很紧张 I just get the impression she's nervous.
也许只要不提我提其过她就行了 Maybe just don't mention I mentioned her.
假装你不知道她的存在 Pretend like you don't know she exists.
好的 Okay.
也许我会假装我不知道你的存在 Maybe I'll pretend that I don't know you exist.
-让她真的怀疑你的心理健康 -我不是那个意思 - Make her really question your mental health. -I didn't mean it like that.
也许当我见到她的时候 我会装一点点口音 Maybe when I meet her, I'll do a little accent.
你觉得如果我是西班牙人的话 她会更喜欢我吗 You think she'll like me more if I was Spanish?
我觉得如果你是西班牙人的话 她会更喜欢你 I think she would like you more if you were Spanish.
-再见 -你好 - Bye. - Hola!
天呐 糟糕 Jesus, shit!
天呐 糟糕的一天 Jeez, a shitty day.
至少我的小鸟是彩色的 汉娜 At least my bird is colorful, Hannah.
那不是小鸟 That's not a bird.
嗨 Hi.
介意我坐下吗 Mind if I sit down?
呃 如果你帮我们做小鸟的话 那就不介意 Ugh, only if you help me with my bird.
没问题 No problem.
我有感觉工艺的的超能力 I've got a preternatural ability with felt craft.
呃 接到一些消息 萝丝 Uh, got some news, Rose.
是什么 Yep?
我今天要出院了 I'm leaving... Today.
黑兹尔回来接我 Hazel's coming to pick me up.
-黑兹尔 -是的 我那婊子老婆 - Hazel? - Yeah, my bitch wife.
哦 Oh.
我不知道她的名字 I didn't know her name.
我们继续吧 Here we go.
只需要一些胶水粘住翅膀 Just need to glue some wings on
然后这个小家伙就做好了 and the little fella will be fine.
很好 谢谢 Great, thank you.
很高心遇见你 萝丝 It was nice meeting you, Rose.
是啊 我也是 Yeah, you too.
-祝你玩得愉快 -再见 - Have a nice time. - Cheers.
我有一些我自己的消息 I have some news of my own.
-汉娜 -抱歉 - Hannah. - Sorry?
我有一些我自己的消息 I have some news of my own.
我被允许随时可以离开这里了 I'm allowed to leave whenever I want.
他们告诉我 说我上周我就可以离开了 They told me last week that I could leave.
我还没有告诉其他人 I haven't told anybody yet.
你想要我问你为什么没有离开 是吗 You want me to ask why, don't you?
是的 Yes.
为什么呢 Why?
好吧 我不确定我是否已经准备好离开这里 Well, I'm not sure if I'm ready to leave.
我觉得他们可能弄错了 I think they might have made a mistake.
哦 Oh...
你在做什么 What are you doing?
哦 梅 你能帮我一下吗 Oh... Mae, can you give me a hand?
移动它 啊 让她立起来 To move this... Ah, stop grunting.
这很恶心 It's gross.
乔希需要这个移动遮阳伞 他放置的位置是错的 Josh needs the umbrella moved. He's got it facing the wrong way.
不 没事的 它就那样放着没事的 No, it's fine, it's just fine where it was.
你能将她带到荫凉处吗 Can you take her into the shade, please?
我就去 I'm going to.
天呐 Jeez...
-你知道你在做什么吗 -知道 - You know what you're doing? - Yeah.
-用你的手测试温度 -我就是这样做的 - Feel the heat with your hand. - Yeah, I am.
-把你的手拿开 -它们没问题的 - Pull your hands away... - They're fine!
你对热气球有什么看法 What do you think about hot-air balloons?
呃 Um...
我不是太了解他们是怎么控制热气球的 I don't really understand how they control them.
3澳元 谢谢 It's $3, please.
-给你 -谢谢 - Here. - Thank you.
-在房间里 -哦 谢谢 - On the house. - Oh, thanks.
好吧，我在想一个热气球 Yeah, I was thinking of doing it in a hot-air balloon.
但我也要你和格蕾丝一起来 But I also want you and Grace to come.
是的 我想问邀请她是成为我们家庭的一员 Yeah, I want to ask her as a family.
她怎么可能拒绝这些呢 How could she refuse all this?
呃 - Huh?
所以说你被允许离开了是吗 So are you allowed to leave?
是的 我是自愿的 Yeah, I'm voluntary.
我随时都可以离开 I can leave whenever.
那为什么你没离开呢 So why don't you?
我女朋友跟我分手了 My girlfriend broke up with me.
她没那么多时间等我理清头绪 She didn't have time to wait for me to sort myself out.
而且是她保管我们的房子 And she took custody of our house...
那是她的房子 That she owned.
所以说你不能离开 因为你没地方可去 So you can't leave because you've got nowhere to go.
-我有帐篷 -你好 - I have a tent. - Hello.
-哦 嘿 女士们 嗨 亲爱的 - Oh, hey, ladies. - Hi, lovey.
没有顾客 No customers.
呃 现在没有 Uh, not now.
我的意思是 之前有顾客 I mean, I've had customers.
-这都是你做的吗 -是的都是我做的 - Did you make all this? - Yeah, I made everything.
即使是麝香棒 Even the musk sticks?
是的 麝香棒是我做的 Yeah, I made frickin' musk sticks.
哦 你真厉害 这看起来真不错 乔希 Oh, good on you. This looks really good, Josh.
有多少老奶奶因为这个而死的 How many grandmas died for this?
萝丝 汉娜 我要那样做 我决定了 Rose. Hannah. I'm gonna do it, I've decided.
-在热气球上 -你要做什么- In a hot-air balloon. - You're gonna do it?
很好 做吧 Great, do it.
-做什么 -没什么 - Do what? - Nothing.
请你就告诉她吧 好吗 她终究会发现的 Please can you just tell her, okay? She's going to find out eventually.
-就告诉她吧 告诉她 -你不需要告诉我什么 - Just tell her, get it done. - You don't have to tell me everything.
这是离婚的好处 That's one of the benefits of being divorced.
我不需要假装很感兴趣 I don't have to pretend to be interested.
我要向梅求婚 I'm gonna propose to Mae.
嗯 Hmm.
好吧 你们都有一个宝宝了 Well, you've already got a baby,
所以这算不上什么大新闻了 不是吗 so it's not very big news, is it, really?
好的 大伙们 阿诺德来了 Okay, guys, Arnold's here.
阿诺德 嗨 Arnold, hi!
梅知道当你说"无论是顺境或是逆境"时 Does Mae know that when you say "for better or worse,"
然而你只会带来逆境吗 you can only offer worse?
嘿 阿诺德 看看我的咖啡车 Hey, Arnold, check out my cart.
这真是难以置信 It's incredible.
这是玛丽莲 她是我的心理医生 This is Marilyn, she's my psychiatrist.
嗨 Hi!
呃 这是我妈 Uh, this is my mum.
这个是我妈和爸 This is my mum here and my dad.
哦 你们来支持你们的儿子 这真好 Oh, how nice of you to come out to support your son.
我们一起出来 All hanging out.
我们见过吗 Have we met?
在那所医院 At the hospital.
萝丝是那里的病人 Rose is a patient there.
好吧 我很确定对你来说是个积极的一天 萝丝 Well, I'm sure this is a very positive day for you, Rose.
是啊 我已经好多了 Well, I've had better.
-阿诺德跟我说过这是你开工第一天 -是的 你要一杯卡布奇诺吗 - Arnold said it's your first day - Yeah, do you want a cappuccino?
我不喜欢咖啡因 I'm not good with caffeine.
我有甘菊茶 但是 你知道的 没什么人喝那个 I have chamomile tea, but, you know, who drinks that?
这真是尴尬 我很喜欢 That's embarrassing, I love it.
当然 好的 Of course. Okay.
他们是很好的甘菊 These are very good caramel...
让血糖猛增 Sugar spikes...
你们两个男孩子要去哪里约会啊 So where are you two boys going on your date?
呃 还没决定 Uh, haven't decided.
如果你们选择一些安全的地方会更好 It would be good if you could pick somewhere safe,
例如一个安全的环境 like a safe environment?
哦 管他那么多 尽管去 Oh, fuck that, jump in.
乔希是时候要找一个爱他的人 It's about time Josh found someone to love him.
-不管是谁 -拜托了 爸 - Anyone. - Come on, Dad.
拜托了 只是 Please, just be...
我们只是出去走走 We're just hanging out.
哦 爱在空气中蔓延 Oh, love is in the air.
我的意思是 我们只是出去吃个饭而已 I mean, we're just going to go to dinner.
我保证不会有河豚或其他的什么东西 I promise there'll be no blowfish or nothing.
好的 很好 我的意思是 Okay, yeah, well, what I meant was
如果不只是两个人的话会更好 I think maybe it would be better if it's not just you two.
你要跟我们一起去吗 玛丽莲 Do you want to come, Marilyn?
-你可以盯着我们 -不了 - You can keep an eye on us. - No.
没事的 乔希 我们可以两个人去的 It's okay, Josh. It can be just the two of us.
好吧 当然 你可以做你想做的 Well, of course, you can do what you want.
让你和一队的朋友一起去 这只是我的建议而已 对吧 It's just my suggestion that you go with a group of friends, yeah?
-不要去黑暗的地方 -那是当然 - Keep it light. - Yeah, sure.
我相信 我有足够的朋友去 I'm not that confident that I have enough friends
组一个队 to make a group.
嗯 Mmm!
好茶 Good tea.
你儿子泡的茶真好喝 Your son makes good tea.
好好庆祝下他的第一天 What a nice celebration for his first day.
干杯 Cheers.
这是充满快乐记忆和梦幻般的茶的一天 A day full of happy memories and fantastic tea.
哦 萝丝 我想起来了 Oh, Rose, that reminds me.
你在用我们一起买的那部数码相机吗 Are you using that digital camera we bought?
-哪部相机 -好的那部 - Which camera? - The good one.
我们为乔希毕业时买的 The one we bought for Josh's graduation.
爸 那部相机太旧了 Dad, that camera is so old.
-这是一部非常昂贵的照相机 -是啊 在2007年的时候 - It was a very expensive camera. - Yeah, like in 2007.
不在我那 I don't have it.
一定在你那 萝丝 没有在我这里 You must have it, Rose, I don't have it.
我才不稀罕那些你落在我那的 并把它们装在 don't treasure every minor item that you've left behind and keep them in
一个特殊丝绒盒里 就等着你 a special velvet box, just waiting for when you
过来拿走它们的小东西 艾伦 wanna come and pick it up, Alan.
你想与咖啡车合影吗 Did you want to photograph the cart?
-因为可能用你的手机就行了 -不用了 谢谢 玛丽莲 - 'Cause perhaps you can just use your phone.- No, thanks, Marilyn.
我只是不想让一台好的相机就这样浪费了 I just don't want a good camera going to waste.
-这是你的秘密吗 -不 不 不 不是的 - Is this for your secret? - No, no, no, no.
我只是想知道关于那部相机下落 I just wondered about the camera.
-当我没问过 -好吧 - Forget I asked. - Okay.
虽然，我真的没有在它可能放它的地方看见它 Although, I really can't see where else it could be.
-你要我给你买过一部相机吗 -不 不 当然不是 - Do you want me to buy you a camera? - No, no, of course not.
我只是想如果你用不到相机的话 I was just thinking that if you weren't using the camera,
我用得到它 你知道 I could, you know...
我的意思是 在你搬走之前有没有检查下屋顶 I mean, did you check in the roof before you moved out?
没在我那 I don't have it.
-阿诺德 你需要一些时间去约会吗 -不用 我能处理好这件事情 我很好 - Arnold, do you need some time out? - No, I can handle things, I'm okay.
如果你是真的想要它 艾伦 为什么没有拿走它 If you really wanted it, Alan, why didn't you take it with you?
我几乎没有时间收拾行李 萝丝 I barely had time to pack a suitcase, Rose.
我要照顾宝宝 I'm gonna have a look at that baby.
然而，你几乎每天都设法回来了 And yet, you managed to come back nearly every day
周复一周 for weeks and weeks.
现在这对你很奇怪 这很奇怪吗 Now, is that odd to you, is that odd?
嗨 汉娜 Hi, Hannah.
-嗨 -嘿 - Hi. - Hey.
格蕾丝 Grace.
你想抱她吗 You want to hold her?
是吧 Yeah?
好的 Yeah.
向格蕾丝说嗨 Say, "Hi, Grace."
你想要把她还给我吗 You want me to take her back?
-是的 -好的 - Yeah. - Yeah, okay.
艾伦和萝丝又吵架了吗 Are Alan and Rose fighting again?
是的 Yep.
那里似乎是发生了什么 That appears to be what is happening.
好吧 Okay.
格蕾丝 你躺在这里 Grace, you lie here.
你介意坐在这里陪她一会儿吗 Do you mind just sitting with her for a moment?
当然 我可以做到 Sure, I can do that.
好了 Okay.
好了 没事 Okay, it's okay.
好的 Okay.
就一会儿 Just one moment.
一定有个不说好的好借口 Must be nice having an excuse not to talk.
萝丝 我不明白为什么你要这么不高兴 Rose, I don't understand why you're getting so upset.
我没有要和你大打出手 I'm not having a go,
我只是说我觉得我们把一箱子的东西落在某处了 I'm just saying I think we left a box of stuff somewhere.
没有人发现相机或者钻头 我是说你是怎么把钻头弄丢的 Nobody can find the camera or the drill. I mean, how do you lose a drill?
我甚至记不得昨天发生过什么事情 I can't even remember what happened yesterday.
我怎么会记得起那么多年前的工具箱 How am I supposed to remember a box of tools from years ago?
好吧 Well...
我们再谈论什么 So what are we talking about?
爱 Love.
是的 是的 我们很兴奋 因为乔希将要去约会了 Yes, yes, we're getting all very excited because Josh is going on a date.
-哦 太可爱了 -嘿 这没什么大不了的 - Oh, so cute! - Hey, it's not a big deal.
是啊 这没什么大不了 Yeah, it's no big deal.
-艾伦认为我偷了他的工具箱 -我没有认为是她偷的 - Alan thinks I stole his tools - I don't think she stole them.
-我只是问她有没有看到它们 -你看到它们了吗 - I'm just asking her if she's seen them. - Have you seen them?
-你觉得我会在意那些钻头吗 -不会 - Do you think I care about the drill? - No.
你为什么要那些鬼钻头呢 Why do you give a shit about the drill?
因为有钻头的话 有时会方便些 'Cause it's handy to have a drill sometimes.
你从来就不是一个会做零活的人 -因为我没有钻头 - You've never been a handyman. - Because I don't have a drill!
买一个新的 Buy a new one.
哦 你在哪里会发现一部相机 Oh, could you get a camera while you're there?
你为什么要小题大作呢 我只是问你相机的下落而已 Why is it such a big deal, me asking you about a camera?
也许相机在我的屁股里 Maybe the camera's up my bum!
你想为了相机检查我的屁股吗 Would you like to go looking up my bum for the camera?
你是不是看来太多的阿尔弗雷德·希区柯克了 Do you watch much Alfred Hitchcock?
阿尔弗雷德·希区柯克 著名的导演 代表作有《后窗》《惊魂记》《西北偏北》《蝴蝶梦》等
不需要一部新的相机 我们用手机 Don't need a new camera. We use our phone.
那是一部昂贵的相机 It was a very expensive camera.
听着 我知道我应该休息 但是我觉得我应该在这里 Look, I know I'm supposed to be off-duty,but I feel like I should step in here.
-哦 滚开 -不要把她扯进来 - Oh, bugger off. - Don't bring her into it.
-你们会让阿诺德不高兴的 -哦 阿诺德没事 - You'll upset Arnold. - Oh, Arnold's fine.
我真的没事 I really am fine.
为什么你要为了一部愚蠢的相机开始这一切呢 Why have you started all of this because of a stupid camera?
我们我是坏人 为什么一直我是坏的那人 Why am I the bad guy? Why am I always the bad guy?
哦 你想要一个清单吗 Oh, do you really want a list?
-抱歉 艾伦是个好人 -你当然会那么说啦 梅 - Excuse me, Alan is a good man! - You would say that, Mae.
我是说 否则你就必须找另一种方式支付房租 不是吗 I mean, otherwise you'd have to find another way of paying the rent, wouldn't you?
你嘴巴真毒 You bitch!
抱歉 听着 我不是那个意思 我不是那个意思 I'm sorry. Look, I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it.
听着 我是真的喜欢你的 你很好 Look, I really like you, you're okay.
只是艾伦 艾伦 艾伦是个坏人 It's just that Alan...Alan... Alan is a bad guy!
我是个好人 I'm a good man!
所有人都是好人 好吗 都是做好的 最好的人 Everyone's good, okay? All tops, tops people.
我做了糖果 I made candy!
她不喜欢我 She doesn't like me.
该有个人去接她 Someone should go get her.
-你不要跟着我 -我是去接宝宝的 - You can't go the same way as I am! - I'm going to get my baby.
哦 好吧 妈的 Oh, fine. Fuck.
走吧 汉娜 Come on, Hannah.
-你走错路了 -是的 是的 - That's the wrong way. - Yes, yeah.
对于你的家人我很抱歉 I'm sorry about your family.
是啊 Yeah!
是啊 Yeah.
汤姆 Tom!
汤姆 嘿 老兄 Tom... Hey, buddy.
汤姆 Tom?
-嘿 -你在哪里 - Hi. - Where are you?
-我在做SPA -一个人吗 - I'm in the spa. - Alone?
是的 Yep.
只是在做SPA Just having a spa,
试着找出为什么我没有更好的生活的原因 trying to figure out why I'm not better at life.
你想的都是大麻吗 Did you ever consider all the weed?
可能都是大麻 Maybe all the weed?
-不是 -不是吗 - No. - Nah?
不是 No.
你多久吸一次大麻 How often are you smoking weed?
几乎每天吧 Most days.
我是说 每天 I mean, every day.
像他们说的一样 如果你每天都做一个纵横填字谜 Like they say that like if you do a crossword every day
那将改改变你的大脑 that that'll change your brain.
你能想象得到大麻是干什么的吗 Can you imagine what the weed is doing?
乔希 至从我吸大麻开始 一切都不曾改变 Josh, nothing has changed since I started smoking weed.
是的 汤姆 这是件坏事 就像喜欢一件东西就意味着要去改变 Yeah, Tom, that's like a bad thing. Like things are like meant to change.
这部 为什么你要对我说教 This is not... Why are you lecturing me?
为什么你要这么做 只是 只是这很酷 Why are you doing this? Just... just be cool.
好吧 那你是对的 All right, so you're right.
呃 我 我需要你陪我去跟阿诺德约会 Uh, I... I need you to come on a date with me and Arnold.
为什么 Why?
因为他的心理医生担心我们在一起的时间会发生什么 Because his psychiatrist is concerned that if we spend time alone together
让他疯了 that he might freak out.
就像那些老师的助手一样 Kind of like where those teacher aides
会去帮助有特殊需要的学生 would come in and help the special-needs students?
好的 Yeah.
是的 就像那样 Yeah, like that.
但是 在约会的时候 不要那样说 But maybe on the date, don't say things like that.
所以说你见了阿诺德的心理医生 So you met Arnold's psychiatrist
然后她说 这对你来说是个坏主意 and she said that it would be a bad idea for you
花时间和阿诺德单独在一起 to spend time alone with Arnold.
是的 Yes.
-那是她的专业心理评估结论吗 -是的 - That is her professional psychiatrist evaluation? - Yes.
好吧 不是针对我 好吗 是针对阿诺德的 Well, not of me, okay? Of Arnold.
那是她的专业心理评估结论 That's her professional psychiatrist evaluation
-针对阿诺德的 -你是个威胁 - of Arnold. - You're a menace.
-你对阿诺德来说是个威胁 -好吧 不用去了 - You're a menace to Arnold. Okay, don't come.
不用担心 我会找其他人去的 Don't worry about it, I'll find someone else.
不 这是因为你坐在这里 评判我的生活 No, it's just because you're sitting here, judging my life,
批评我的生活 criticizing my life,
当 根据这个专业的 when, according to this professional
受过高等教育的心理医生 tertiary-educated psychiatrist,
-你是个威胁 -是啊 - you're a menace. - Yeah.
对一个可怜的精神病的男孩威胁 A menace to a poor mentally ill boy.
好了 你不用去了 我会找其他人去的 Fine, don't come, I'll find someone else.
-我去找其他人陪我去 -不 我要去 - I'm going to find someone else to come. - No, I want to come.
不 我不想你去 你太不可靠了 No, I don't want you to come. You're unlikeable.
我要去 I need to come.
好的 Yeah!
-我只是不知道该穿什么好 -就穿你平时穿的就行 - I just don't know what I can wear.- Just wear what you always wear.
我的长裤很脏 My long pants are dirty.
你想借我的骆驼牌斜纹棉布裤 Do you want to borrow my camel chinos.
-这就是你想要的 -是的 - Is that what you want? - Yes, please.
我很乐意把我的的骆驼牌斜纹棉布裤借给你 I would like to borrow your camel chinos.
你想借我的骆驼牌斜纹棉布裤吗 -是的 - You want to borrow my camel chinos? - Yes, please.
我以为你要回家了会更热情呢 I thought you'd be more enthusiastic about coming home.
我做了红烧牛肉在烤箱里 I have beef bourguignon in the oven.
我喜欢吃红烧牛肉 I do like beef bourguignon.
好了 给你 我们填好了 Okay, that's it, we're done.
很好 离开这里 Good... out of this place.
是啊 Yes.
当我感觉我的生活不如意的时候 When I feel bad about where I am in life,
我喜欢将比我的生活更糟的人与自己对比 I like to compare myself to people who are doing worse.
像约瑟夫·佛里兹尔 他的生活真的是一团糟 Like Joseph Fritzl. He's really bad at life.
将自己的女儿囚禁在地下室24年 不断地性侵共产下7名子女 其中一个夭折
我绝对不会离开的 I'm definitely not leaving.
不离开是因为男孩的问题吗 Not leaving because of boy trouble?
哦 不 不是那个问题 我只是 Oh, no, it's not that, I just...
我只是不认为我记得如何照顾自己 仅此而已 I just don't think I remember how to look after myself, that's all.
是啊 那永远都是个难题 Yeah, that's always hard.
我认为你不想离开是因为你可能会很想念我 I thought you didn't want to leave 'cause you might miss me too much.
哦 我没有 Oh, I didn't...
你喜欢和我一起吗 Do you like hanging out with me?
是的 Yeah.
哦 我还没意识到 Oh, I didn't realize.
嘿 大伙们 Hey, guys.
嘿 阿诺德 Hey, Arnold!
阿诺德 我不知道你这么有钱 Arnold, I didn't know you were rich.
汤姆 我不知道你会来 Tom... I didn't know you were coming.
别担心 我很懂浪漫的 Don't worry, I'm really good at romance.
不要难过 Don't be sad.
你需要一个安全的约会 不是吗 You need a safe date, all right?
汤姆 你没必要坐在后排的 Tom, you didn't have to get in the backseat.
汤姆觉得那里是属于他的地盘 Yeah, that's where Tom thinks he belongs.
我们将有一个美好的夜晚 We're going to have a good night.
我们三个人要进行一次安全的约会 The three of us are going to have a safe date.
我们要去哪里 Where are we going?
嗯 我觉得我们该去一个地方 像 Um, I thought we would go to this place that's like...
就像葡萄牙餐厅 it's like Portuguese.
-也许像阿根廷或者其他的 -是啊 - Maybe like Argentinean or something? - Yeah.
而且他们就给你上肉 And they just bring you meat.
他们就像 那里没有菜单一样 They just like... there's no menus.
他们就给你上肉 肉 肉 肉 肉 They just bring you meat,meat, meat, meat, meat,
鸡肉 牛肉 鸡肉 猪肉 chicken, beef, chicken, pork,
牛肉 鸡肉 或者海鲜 你知道我的意思吗 beef, chicken, seafood maybe, you know what I mean?
然后你得说请不要再给我肉了 And then you say, "Please stop bringing me meat."
然后他们才会停止给你上肉 And they stop bringing you meat.
这听起来太不可思议了 That just sounds incredible.
不可思议 对吧 Incredible, right, yeah?
阿诺德 Arnold?
我是一个素食主义者 I'm a vegetarian.
-好了 你们两个都很可爱 -是的 - Well, you two are adorable. - Yeah.
-哦 妈的 -耶稣基督 - Oh, shit! - Jesus Christ!
-妈的 -发生什么了 - Shit! - What happened?
哦 我认为我撞到负鼠了 Oh, I think I hit a possum!
哦 天呐 天呐 天呐 天呐 Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God.
-哦 好吧 -这很恶心 - Oh... okay. - That's gross.
是啊 好了 它还活着 Yeah, well, he's still alive.
它还或者 它还活着 He's still alive, he's still alive.
好吧 Okay.
-你还好吗 阿诺德 -我只是不想看到它 - You okay, Arnold? - I just don't want to look at it.
哦 Oh...
-它不是很好 -是啊 是啊 - He is not going to be okay. - Yeah, yeah.
好吧 Okay.
嘿 嘿 老兄 嘿 Hey... hey, buddy, hey...
-哦 -妈的 - Oh! - Fuck!
真是个混蛋的负鼠 What a dick possum.
不 我是说 我开车撞了它 No... I mean, I did hit him with a car.
-它有结实的爪子-发生什么了 - He's got a solid point. - What happened?
它抓了我 Yeah, he scratched me.
-你好吗 -我没事 - Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm okay.
-好的 很好 -好的 - Okay, good. - Okay.
我们 我们该怎么办 What are we... What do we do?
我认为 I think...
我认为我们要把它杀了 I think we have to kill it.
结束它的痛苦 Put it out of its misery.
哦 不 Oh no.
我们 我们可以带它去看兽医吗 Can we... Can we take it to the vet?
哦 Oh.
不 它看起来 No, it's like...
它看起来不是完整的了 It's like not in one piece?
好吧 Okay.
你要怎么能杀了它 How are you going to kill it?
我才不杀呢 I'm not doing it!
我最近已经杀了很多袋类动物了 I've killed enough marsupials lately.
兔子是哺乳动物 Rabbits are mammals.
好吧 我要开车再撞一次 Okay, I'm going to run it over again with my car.
你要做什么 You're gonna what?!
我要开车再撞一次 I'm gonna run over it again with my car.
我要结束他的痛苦 I'm going to put it out of its misery.
这是一件很人道的事情 好吗 It's the humane thing to do, okay?
好吧 只要向前开 All right... just in front of it.
-好了吗 -是的 你做的很好 - Yeah? - Yeah, you're good.
哦 Oh...
哦 Oh!
乔希 它还活者 它还活者 Josh, it's still alive, it's still alive!
你只是撞到了它的尾巴 再撞一次 You just hit the tail... Do it again!
哦 我是一个素食主义者 而且我还有焦虑症 Oh, I'm a vegetarian and I have an anxiety...
再撞一次 再撞一次 it again, do it again!
对不住了 阿诺德 Sorry, Arnold!
杀了他妈的负鼠 Kill the fucking possum!
再来 Again!
停 停 停 停 停 停 Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop...
好了 它死了 It's okay, it's dead.
它死了 It's dead.
-这是死了 -死了吗 - That's dead. - Dead?
它都黏在在你的车轮上了 It's all over your wheel.
好了 给我闭嘴 上车吧 All right, just shut up and get in the car.
我们走吧 好吗 Let's go, all right?
好吗 Okay?
抱歉 Sorry.
真的很抱歉 Really sorry.
我觉得 I think...
我觉 我觉得我要你送我回家 I think... I think I need you to take me home.
好的 Yeah.
乔希 它看起来真的在你的车轮上 Josh, it's like seriously all over your wheel.
给我闭嘴 汤姆 Just shut up, Tom!
这些小鸟很好看 Good birds.
漂亮的羽毛 Nice plumage.
这是斯图尔特做的 It's from Stuart.
不要看着我 Don't read it to me.
除非是真的小鸟 否者我不感兴趣 Unless it's about birds, I'm not interested.
它说 我会想你的 It says, "I'll miss you."
好吧 这太贴心了 Well, that's sweet.
如果你完全不考虑黑泽尔和她的感情 If you completely disregard Hazel and her feelings.
那我们就离开这个地方 Let's just get out of this place, Hannah.
为什么你不搬到我空房间住呢 Why don't you come stay in my spare room?
什么 就这样离开 What, just leave, just like that?
是啊 为什么不呢 Yeah, why not?
我生活很无趣 I'm not very fun to live with.
我的也很无趣 I'm not either.
我会离开马桶座圈 I leave the toilet seat up.
没有任何理由 For no reason.
这么说你同意了 Is that a yes?
当然 Sure.
-为什么不 -哦 太好了 - Why not? - Oh, good!
哦 抱歉 Oh, sorry.
抱歉 抱歉 我不会再那样了 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I won't do that again.
我保证我不会再突然那样一惊一乍的 I promise, no more sudden noises.
出乎意料啊 Yikes.
是啊 Yeah.
-这不是个安全的约会 -是啊 对不起 - That was not a safe date. - No, I'm sorry.
-糟糕的约会 -是啊 - Shit date. - Yeah.
我觉得我什么忙都没有帮得上 I don't think me coming helped at all.
我 呃 我不能下车的是吗 I'm, uh, I'm not allowed to get out of the car, am I?
肯定不能 不能 Definitely not, nope.
为什么 Why?
被担心这个了 汤姆 Don't worry about it, Tom.
老实说 我很担心 I'll be honest, I am worried about it.
我知道你告诉我不用担心 但我还是忍不住 I know you told me not to be, but I can't help but worry.
汤姆 这没关系的好吗 Tom, it just doesn't matter, okay?
我的父母还不知道我是同志 My parents don't know I'm gay.
是哦 Right.
我不理解 I don't understand.
你父母以为你现在在做什么 What do your parents think you're doing right now?
我告诉他们说我在和女孩们逛商场 I told them I was shopping with girls.
这 这是个好借口 Is... is that a good alibi?
关于负鼠我很抱歉的 好吗 I'm sorry about the possum, okay?
我真的不觉得这是我的错 I really don't think it was my fault,
好吧 它就那样跑出去了 okay, it sort of just ran out.
没事 It's okay.
好吧 再见 Okay, bye.
你们是不是因为我在这里而不接吻啊 Are you guys not kissing 'cause I'm here?
不是 No.
因为我不介意 'Cause I don't care.
我看见乔希一直在亲男孩们 I see Josh kiss boys all the time.
汤姆 拜托了 Tom, come on, please.
-我待会发短息给你 好吗 -好的 - I'll message you later, okay? - Yeah.
对不起 I'm sorry.
我会闭上我的眼睛 捂住我的耳朵 然后你们 I'll just close my eyes and block my ears and you guys,
说真的 做你们想做的 seriously, do whatever you want.
拜托了 汤姆 Please, Tom...
对不起 I'm sorry.
我只是 我现在不能亲你 I just... I can't do kissing right now,
但我保证下次 but I promise next time,
任你处置 you can do whatever you want with me.
哇哦 Wow.
好的 谢谢 Okay, thank you.
呃 你要向玛丽莲打我的小报告吗 Um, are you going to tell Marilyn on me?
-是啊 -是啊 - Yeah. - Yeah.
好的 Okay.
你们好了没有 Are you guys finished?
汤姆 我们什么都没做 We're not doing anything, Tom.
那你什么时候告诉你父母你是同志 So when are you going to tell your parents you're gay?
-哦 拜托了 -汤姆 我不知道 - Oh, come on. - I don't know, Tom.
你打算什么时候告诉你的脸颊不要变胖 When are you going to tell your cheeks to stop being fat?
-哦 燃烧 -晚安 - Oh, burn. - Good night.
他知道 He knows it.
他是怎么知道我对我的脸颊很敏感的 How does he know I'm sensitive about my cheeks?
是你告诉他我的脸颊的事吗 Did you talk to him about my cheeks?
是的 Yeah.