天呐洛蕾 你敢信吗 Jeez Laurue, can you believe this?
早上7点强制让我们出席会议 A mandatory meeting at 7:00 a.m.?
真想知道啥东西爬进了她屁股
真想知道她这是要闹哪样 Wonder what crawled up her butt.
那可不好说 Ugh, there's no telling.
我们身体里充满了微观生物体 帕姆 Our bodies are aswarm with microscopic organisms, Pam.
真的是充满了哦 Literally aswarm.
等等 什么 你们有听到什么吗 Wait. What? What have you heard?
-你是说员工会议吗 -对哦 算了 - About the staff meeting? - Oh, right. Yes. Never mind.
那我们还是上去吧 Then may I suggest we get up there,
那样我们就不用领教什么是"严重后果"了 so we don't have to find out what "grave consequences" means.
-那是 -都在她备忘录里写着呢 - It means-- - In the context of her memo.
天呐 他这又是怎么了 Jesus, what's up his butt?
我觉得现在重要的是 I think the important thing now
我们不要引起任何恐慌 is that we don't start any sort of panic.
快点 你们这群蠢货 Hurry up, ya ding-dongs!
-等等 等等 我来了 -快点 - Wait, wait, wait! I'm coming! - Hurry up.
-加油加油 -穿条内裤吧 - Come on, come on, come on. - Oh, keep your panties on.
还用你说 你猜我穿没穿 One step ahead of you. Or am I?
等等 亚契是不是要缺席了 Wait. Is Archer blowing this off?
不 别关门 别关门 No. Hold the door. Hold the door!
我是在开门啊 但是按键不灵 I am. It's not doing anything.
见鬼 雷 别关那该死的门 Damn it, Ray, hold the frickin' door!
不 已经超载了呢 Oh, no! It's maximum overdrive all over--
好吧 你赶上了 Oh, good. You made it.
看 雷 一个是红的 一个是绿的 Look, Ray, one is red and one is green.
你怎么回事 色盲啊你 What are you, color blind?
对啊 我就是色盲 I am, actually.
-果然 -果然什么 - Typical. - Of what?
有人知道这个会议是关于什么的吗 So, does anybody have any idea what this meeting is about?
-如果我没猜错 亚契夫人 -马屁精 - Well, if I know Ms. Archer, it's-- - Butt bugs.
-什么 -我不是 - What? - Not what I was--
那是个修辞手法啦 Ugh! That was a figure of speech.
-他们都是 -你能别大喊大叫吗 - They all are! - Hey, will you quit yelling?
-那你能吗 -能 - Will you? - Yes!
冷静点 别慌张 Remain calm. Do not panic.
没人在慌张 克里格 No one's panicking, Krieger.
那只不过是他们还没孵化 Only because they haven't hatched yet.
-谁 -什么还没有孵化 - Who? - What hasn't hatched?
-什么 -别大喊大叫了 - What? - Quit yelling!
克里格 什么还没有孵化 Krieger, what hasn't hatched?
我说的太多了 I've said too much.
克里格 我发誓 Krieger, I swear to--
我的天哪 Oh, my god.
冷静点 别慌张 Remain calm. Do not panic.
-克里格 闭嘴 -看吧 坏了 - Krieger, shut up. - See? It's broken.
-雷 -亚契 - Ray? - Archer?
等等 Hang on.
雷 西里尔 帮我一把 Ray, Cyril, give me a hand here.
-拉娜 -怎么了 - Lana... - What?
-这 -应该是你做的事 - You-- - Should be doing this.
你们知道吗 You know...
天呐 我们是在煤矿坑里工作吗 Oh, my god! We work in a coal mine?
卡罗尔 闭嘴 Carol, shut up.
你又不是矿坑监工 You're not my coal mine supervisor!
伙计们 Yeah. Hey, guys?
见鬼 Oh, damn it.
-什么 -是什么 - What? - What is it?
托雷的福 就当他不知怎么的 Well, thanks to Ray, who let's just all assume
把电梯弄坏了 我们被困在顶部了 broke the elevator somehow, we're stuck at the top.
希望如此 I hope.
翻译 : 特工圈圈 特工西之
校对 : 特工Izzie
时间轴 : 腹黑特工加森
后期 : 冷血特工加森
总监 : stephanie
间谍亚契 第六季 第五集
有人吗 有人吗 Hello! Hello!
闭嘴吧 没人听得到你们的 Stop it. No one else can hear you,
因为现在还没人到 Because no one else is here yet.
其他人都不在这里工作了 Not that other people actually work here.
你说什么 他们去哪儿了 What do you mean? Where'd they go?
你还记得机构关闭的时候 Remember when the office shut down,
我们做了一整年的毒贩子吗 and we spent an entire year as coke dealers?
什么 他们就这样不干了吗 What, so people just quit?
还有一些东西在这里也没用 And on the subject of things that don't work here anymore,
-我的手机 -没信号 - my phone. - Uh, got nothing.
-我一格信号都没 -你不会有信号的 - I am sans bars. - Yeah, you're not gonna get a signal.
我在顶上装了一个无线电干扰器 I installed an R.F. jammer on the roof.
-楼顶吗 -不 电梯顶部 - Of the building? - No, of the elevator.
-为什么 -你说你做了什么 - Why? - You did what?
那这到底是为什么呢 And for what possible reason?
那样人们就不会只盯着手机看 So people would quit staring
他们就会和身边的人说话了 at their phones and talk to each other.
好吧 那我们就打开这 Okay, well, then let's open the--
-一二三 走 -活门 - One, two, three, go! - Trap door!
雷 把活门打开 Ray, open the trap door.
-他不行 -什么 - He can't. - Wha--
我的老天 西里尔 拜托了 Oh, my god! Cyril, please.
我比你强壮多了 I am way stronger than you.
话虽如此 但这个东西卡住了 That being said, this thing's stuck.
不是卡住了 是从外部锁上了 It's not stuck, it's locked from the outside.
-等等 什么 -这不是给乘客出去用的 - Wait. What? - It's not for stranded passengers to get out,
这是用来让救援队爬进来的 it's for rescue crews to get in.
他们最不想的就是让人们 The last thing they want is people crawling around
在坏了的电梯顶部爬来爬去了 on top of a malfunctioning elevator car.
-他们是谁 -老电梯[老大哥] - Who is "they"? - Big elevator.
没有这玩意儿 Not a thing.
你怎么对电梯这么了解 And why do you know so much about elevators?
我也不知道 个人兴趣啦 I don't know. It's a hobby.
大概是我一直对这些很感兴趣吧 I guess I've just always been fascinated by them.
我真的不知道该怎么说你 I honestly have no response to that.
不管怎样 我猜电梯厢顶部肯定 Anyway, I bet the top of the car smashed
正好卡进了发动机里 所以 right into the motor, so--
希望我的无线电干扰器没问题 Yeesh. Hope the radio jammer's okay.
谢了 克里格 我们都需要发泄下 Thanks, Krieger. I think we all needed that.
而且 我们也不需要手机 这里有 And besides, we don't need cell phones. We have a--
电梯电话 西里尔 试试 Elevator phone! Cyril, try that.
我正在试呢 你闭嘴行不行 I am, if you'd shut up.
好恶心 这电话粘粘的 Oh, gross! This phone is all sticky.
是啊 我家里的电话也黏得不得了 Yeah, mine at home gets bad sticky.
肯定咯 Ew. Of course it does.
-你又从何时起开始管电梯了 -从出生 - And since when are you elevator boss? - Birth?
然后 And...
-坏了 -果然啊 - It's dead. - Typical.
好了 雷 快连接 Okay, Ray. Interface.
-你说什么 -和控制器连接啊 - I'm sorry? - With the controls.
哔卟卟吥 来嘛 机器侠 Beep, boop, boop, boop! Come on, cyborg.
《星球大战》中衷心的宇航技工机器人
-像R2-D2那样 -像R2-D2那样 - R2-d2 it. - "R2-d2 it."
是啊 四处侦查下或干嘛的 Yeah, probe around in there and whatever.
关掉牵引光束 Shut down the tractor beam.
用什么 我的丁丁吗 With what, my dick?
我 就用你平时的方法 I-- however you normally do it.
我平时不做这种事 I don't normally do it!
我知道 但事出紧急 I know, but this is an emergency.
见鬼 卡罗尔 没人 Damn it, Carol. There's nobody--
闭嘴 蠢货 是弥尔顿 Shut up, stupid. It's Milton!
去找人救我们 孩子 Go get help, boy.
没时间了 去找人救我们 There's no time! Go get help!
怎么救我们 那就是个烤面包机 Get help how? It's a toaster.
至少他也许会带点烤面包回来 Well! Well, at the very least, maybe he'll bring back toast.
说到烤面包 我不知道你们是怎样 And speaking of toast, I don't know about you guys,
但我一点 but I didn't eat any...
-早餐也没吃 -等等 - breakfast. - Hey, hey, wait a second.
吃你自己的熊爪杏仁饼 Get your own goddamn bear claw!
西里尔 那是什么 是百吉饼吗 Cyril, what is that? Is that a bagel?
不 起开 天呐 不过就是纸巾 No. Get off. Jeez, it's just napkins.
-伙计们 抢纸巾啊 -好 我们 - Guys, get the napkins! - Okay, let's just take it down a n--
闭嘴 我们会饿死的 Shut up! We're all gonna starve!
-给我 -起开 - Give me... - Get away!
伙计们 别这样 住手吧 拜托了 Guys, come on. Knock it off, please.
-放轻松嘛 -帕姆 别这样 - Easy! Hey! Hey! - Pam, stop that.
所有人冷静点 Everybody calm--
混蛋 你搞什么 Asshole! What the hell?
抱歉 说真的 我很抱歉 I'm sorry. Seriously, I'm sorry.
我为我所作所为真诚地道歉 I sincerely apologize for doing that.
亚契 如果你再来一次 Archer, if you do that again--
我对天发誓不会再做这种事了 I swear to god I won't do it again.
-别这样 -就听我们一次吧 - Please don't. - You're listening for once.
话虽如此 That being said,
我发誓我会再来一次的 I swear to god I will do it again.
混蛋 Asshole.
雷 闭嘴 Ray, shut up.
西里尔 脱掉那毛背心 兄弟 Cyril, let's get that sweater vest off, buddy.
-你说什么 -我知道 但没人逼你穿它 - I'm sorry? - I know, but nobody makes you wear them.
我 你为什么要这个 I-- why do you want it?
我就想要个桌布啥的 As, like, a tablecloth or whatever.
我们把食物和饮料放到中间 We're all gonna put our food and drink in the middle,
然后我来负责均匀分配给你们 and then I'll be in charge of rationing it out.
不 凭什么是你负责 No. Why do you think you would be in charge?
因为我曾迷失在大海里 Because I've been lost at sea.
什么 What?
我曾迷失在大海里 拉娜 I was lost at sea, Lana,
我们得合理分配水和食物 and we had to ration the food and water.
我们那时本该如此 但我在另一个人睡觉时 Well, we should have. I actually ate it all
把食物和水都吃掉了 while the other guy was asleep.
你为什么要跟我们说这个 Why would you tell us that story?
此事能很好的证明我的主张 If anything, that proves my point.
正因为有像我这样的人在 people like me are exactly why
所以我们才要合理分配食物和水 we have to ration our food and water.
像你这样的人 谁 People like you, who?
强者 我啊 你啊 帕姆啊 The strong, like me and you and Pam,
这些人会掠夺弱者的食物 who will naturally prey on the weak,
比如说剩下的这些人 like the rest of them.
也许我们确实该把食物集合起来 Maybe we should pool it together.
我们不知道会在这里呆多久 We don't know how long we're gonna be in here.
是啊 交出来吧 弱渣们 Yeah, give it up, weakie.
帕姆 闭嘴 从我开始 Pam, shut up. I'll start.
这里有 大约六盎司波旁酒 Here's... maybe six ounces of bourbon.
要是西里尔动作快点的话 If Cyril would hurry it up already!
我的老天 你就不能 For the love of god, will you just--
好的 等等 Okay. Wait a minute.
你到底要怎么做来着 How exactly is this supposed to work?
把背心铺在地板上 It puts the vest on the floor!
我们把食物和水放在背心上 We put food and drink on the vest!
是啊 但是地板上的哪里 Yeah, but where on the floor?
-没位置了 -会被我们踹翻的 - There's no room. - It'll get kicked over.
好吧 那我们把背心扎成一个袋子 Okay, so we tie the vest into, like, a pouch, and--
老天 哥们儿 这没袖子 For god's sake, man, it has no sleeves.
而且食物会从领口滑出来 Plus the food'll just fall out the neckhole.
那我宣布 Well, then it's official.
这个毛衣背心一无是处 The sweater vest is literally good for nothing.
-你知道吗 -知道如何打扮得像成年人吗 - Hey, you know what? - Besides how to dress like an adult?
你只有这方面像个成年人 Well, that's the only thing you do like an adult.
正中靶心 Burn!
是啊 说得好 Yeah. Total burn.
我希望待会儿我开着车进出酒吧的时候 I hope I don't start crying later
不会大哭出声 when I'm driving an automobile to or from a bar!
那是在和一个妓女上床后 After having sex with a prostitute.
这是人类能做的最成人的事情了 Which is the most adult thing a person could possibly do!
-我还是喜欢他穿背心的样子 -我也是 - I like him in vests. - Me too.
是啊 他那样会比较好 Yeah. It works for him.
谢谢了 女士们 Well, thanks, ladies.
-那可 -不 不 闭嘴 - That's-- - No. No. Shut up.
-我得好好想想 -想什么 - I need to think. - About what?
这没有那么困难 伙计们 Look, this isn't that hard, people.
我们有百吉饼 咖啡 一夸脱啤酒 We've got a bagel, four coffees, a quart of beer--
一夸脱 A quart?
-这有40盎司 妞 -谢谢 奥马尔 - This a fawty, shawty! - Thanks, Omar.
除此之外 我们还有 And on top of that, we've got,
我猜 两酒瓶波旁酒 I'm guessing, two flasks of bourbon.
我是怕我没时间吃午餐 I didn't know if I'd have time for lunch.
克里格 那是咖啡吗 And, Krieger? Coffee?
不是 Uh, no.
-茶吗 -不是 - Tea? - No.
那是什么 汤吗 What is it, soup?
你说的"汤"是指什么 Define "soup."
我的天 Oh, good lord!
如果说这里没人 Would it be safe to say nobody here
想吃你保温瓶里的东西 会夸张吗 wants to eat what's in your thermos?
我的老天 那就太好了 Sweet Jesus god, I would hope so!
不如我们都暂时 Okay, so how about we all agree to hold on
不要吃喝 to our food and drinks for now,
除非 if for no other reason than--
-帕姆 -帕姆 - Pam! - Pam!
拜托 帕姆 别喝了 Come on! Pam, stop it!
天呐 不只是熊爪杏仁饼的味道 Oh, god! That wasn't just bear claw.
你早餐到底吃了什么 What did you eat for breakfast?
扁面条和蛤蜊油 Linguine and clam sauce.
天呐 你是在码头醒来的吗 Oh, god! What, did you wake up on the docks?
不知道那蛤蜊新不新鲜 But I don't know about those clams, though.
在你 帕姆喝掉了三分之一加仑 As I was saying, before you, Pam,
麦芽酒前 我想说的是 drank a third of a gallon of malt liquor,
也许我们不该吃喝太多 因为 maybe we shouldn't eat or drink too much, because--
-什么事 帕姆 -我要尿尿 - Yes, Pam? - I have to pee.
拜托 你当然要尿 你刚喝了40盎司 Come on! Of course you do. You just drank a 40!
我刚才就是要说这个 That's what I was trying to say.
我他妈又不会读心术 I'm not a frickin' mind reader.
是啊 我得为她说句话 你刚才没说出来 Yeah. In her defense, you didn't finish.
-是啊 -帕姆 闭嘴 - Yeah. - Pam, shut up.
我有个主意 I have an idea!
好的 等等 你要说的 Okay. Wait. Does it have anything to do
和我们现在的处境有关吗 with our current situation?
当然 Yes.
好的 那是什么 Okay, what is it?
我们被困在电梯里了 We are stuck in an elevator.
说你的主意 不是我们的处境 The idea, not our current situation.
我他妈又不会读心术 Well, I'm not a frickin' mind reader!
天呐 如果我会呢 Oh, my god, what if I am?
那你肯定知道 Then I guess you'd know
现在我们都在想什么吧 what we're all thinking right this very minute.
好吧 你想喝酒 你想教训我们 Okay. You want a drink, you want to lecture us,
你还想要熊爪杏仁饼 you want more bear claws,
你想抽烟 你想打飞机 you want to smoke, you want to masturbate,
你害怕我们知道 and you're scared that we'll figure out
其实你是克里格的克隆体 you're actually just a Krieger clone.
-什么 这... -这都是常识 - What? That's-- - That's all just common sense.
她觉得我想打飞机怎么就是常识了 How is it common sense that she thinks I want to masturbate?
拜托 西里尔 她只是说出了 Come on, Cyril. For most of us,
我们大部分人人尽皆知的爱好而已 she just rattled off our obvious addictions.
我才不喜欢教训别人 I'm not addicted to lecturing people.
拜托 这...好吧 Oh, come on. That's... all right.
你笑什么笑 手快了不起啊 And what are you laughing at, stroker ace?
我才不喜欢打飞机 I'm not addicted to masturbating!
西里尔 别这样 手放《圣经》上 Cyril, come on. Hand on the Bible,
测谎仪上 有枪顶着你的脑袋 lie detector, gun to your head,
你敢说你现在不想打飞机吗 you don't want to masturbate right now?
我不会在电梯里打 Well, not in this elevator.
我想喝酒 所以... Well, I want to drink, so...
我想抽烟 所以... And I want to smoke, so...
那西里尔应该可以打飞机了 So Cyril ought to be able to jack it.
-帕姆 你闭嘴 -我们也想 - Pam, shut up. - Well, we tried.
我想问问你本来想在哪里抽那根烟 And just where, exactly, were you hoping to smoke that cigarette?
私家侦探玛格南的家里 Magnum P.I.'s house.
可是既然现在我被困在这里... But since I'm stuck in here with you people...
你搞什么鬼 贱人 Hey! What the shit, woman?
我现在是哺乳期 The shit is that I am breastfeeding,
所以你不准在这里抽烟 so you will not smoke in this elevator!
-要打赌吗 -谁怕谁 - You want to bet? - Do you?
他们都赌博上瘾 They're both addicted to gambling.
你真是名副其实的苏菲亚·布朗[灵媒] And you're just a regular Sylvia Browne.
我还有很严重的幽闭恐怖症 I also have extreme claustrophobia.
喂 西里尔 快来一发 Psst, Cyril. Try to rub one out.
我不想打飞机 I do not want to masturbate!
看他们这样都不想么 Oh, for-- not even watching that?
-你们住手吧 -把你的手... - Hey! Guys, come on! Hey! - Get your hands o--
我是认真的 我已经说得不能再清楚了 I'm serious. I cannot stress this enough.
你们还想耳鸣吗 You do not want tinnitus.
那肝硬化呢 How about cirrhosis?
两者我都不想 Probably not that either.
卡罗尔 你想到主意了吗 Now, then. Carol, you had an idea?
你也会读心术吗 Are you a mind reader, too?
不会 是你告诉我们你想到主意了 No. You told us that you had one.
什么 想起来了 是的 What? Oh, right. Yes.
我们同时起跳同时落地 We all jump up and down at the same time
把卡住的地方冲开 to unjam this stupid thing,
等电梯轿厢落进地下室的时候 and then it plummets down into the basement,
我们就会落进电梯井底 and we boing into that giant spring
那个大弹簧里面 at the bottom of the elevator shaft,
然后我们就安全了 and then are safe.
自杀协议 虽然老套但是还行 So, suicide pact. An oldie but a goodie.
需要投票吗 谁同意 Should we vote? Who's in?
-不 -不要 -不干 - No. - No. - Not doing that.
那样能行 我听说过有人那么干 No. That works. I've heard about people doing that.
你只不过想找个理由尿裤子 You just want an excuse to wet your pants.
我尿裤子不需要理由 I don't need an excuse.
搞什么 成苏联了吗 Yeah, what is this, Soviet Russia?
这...等等 你是真在问我们吗 It-- wait. Are you seriously asking?
我是说... I mean...
克里格 你觉得呢 会管用吗 Krieger, what's the deal? Would that really work?
你竟然问一个拿着一保温杯人肉汤的人吗 Wha-- you're asking the guy with a thermos full of human being soup?
这...这不是...如果... It's-- that's not even-- if--
搞什么 苏联吗 What is this, Soviet Russia?
-对吧 -苍天 - Right? - Oh, my God.
-西里尔 闭嘴 -你才闭嘴 - Cyril, shut up. - You shut up!
克里格 你觉得能行吗 Krieger, would that work?
这个...可能吧 Huh. Maybe?
-可能 -可能是什么意思 - Maybe? - What do you mean, maybe?
首先 电梯井底部没有大弹簧 Look, first of all, there's no giant spring at the bottom.
只有液压缓冲器 It's a hydraulic buffer,
电梯轿厢撞上那玩意儿的时候 but you don't want to be in the elevator
你肯定不想在电梯里的 when it slams into it.
但是最后时刻大家就跳到半空中啊 No, but at the last second, you just jump up in the air.
你怎么知道什么时候起跳 How would you know when to jump?
你会教训我让我知道的 Because you'd give me a lecture on it.
黑成功 Burn!
-雷 -她黑了她 - Ray! - She burned her.
-我知道 但是 -闭嘴 我们这样 - I know, but-- - No. Shut up, because here's the thing--
安全制动器 Safety brakes.
其实伊莱沙·奥蒂斯发明的 That's actually what Elisha Otis invented.
不是电梯 Not the elevator itself,
而是停止电梯的安全制动器 but the safety brakes to stop it.
奥蒂斯死于白喉感染
可惜他们没能停止白喉病毒传播 It was too bad they couldn't stop diphtheria.
等等 制动器会让我们停下吗 So wait. Would the brakes stop us?
可能吧 Maybe?
搞什么 苍天 拜托 Ugh! Oh, my god! Come on!
我又不知道制动器会不会在电梯撞上的时候被毁 Look, I don't know if they were damaged in the crash.
最坏的情况是什么 Okay, but what's the worst case?
-我们都死翘翘 -被你的老二戳死 - Worst case is we die. - Impaled on your boner.
我又没有勃起 I do not have an erection!
可能现在没有 但是万一 Well, maybe not now, but say you get
因为撞击你头部受重伤呢 a severe head injury on impact.
嘭 然后持续勃起 Boom! Priapism!
与此同时你们的身体 Meanwhile, your bodies
都像撞击实验假人一样在这里面乱撞 are smashing around in here like crash dummies,
直到你们一个个 until, one at a time,
都被穿在我勃起的老二上 you are each impaled on my priapic erection.
对 就像巴西烤肉串一样 Yeah. Like meat at a brazilian steakhouse!
拜托能不说食物吗 Ugh, please don't talk about food.
是啊 我快饿死了 Yeah, I am figuratively starving.
-是想吃肉还是想看西里尔勃起 -都想 - For meat or Cyril's priapism? - Both.
-受不了了 我要抽烟 -雷 - I can't take it! I am smoking! - Ray!
把你的脚从我的打火机上拿开 Ow! Get your foot off my lighter!
-雷 我是认真的 -该死 - Ray, I am serious. - God damn it!
我会对着出口把烟都吐到外面 I'll put my mouth right up next to the hole and blow into it.
服了 好吧 但是 Err! Fine, but--
-等等 -那我要尿尿了 - Wait a minute. - Well, then I'm peeing.
-在哪里尿 -我可以尿到这里面 - Where? - I think I can get it all back in here.
-你做不到 -等一下 大家都消停一下 - No, you can't! - Wait a minute. Everybody stop now.
-干什么 -两件事 - What? - Two things.
第一 我真觉得我们说话的时候 One, I really think we need to have a serious talk
应该注意一下措辞 about getting phrasing back in the mix.
别逗了 Let it go.
好吧 不用注意措辞了 Fine. Whatever. No more phrasing.
-第二件事呢 -没事了 - What was thing two? - Oh, nothing.
我好像要中风了 I'm just having a stroke.
不要 弥尔顿回来了 No, you're not. It's Milton! He came back!
弥尔顿 你来了 Milton! There you are!
你...搞什么鬼 帕姆 What the-- God damn it, Pam!
不不不 Oh, no, no, no!
苍天啊 贱人 For the love of God, woman!
我没想到瓶口这么小 I thought the hole was bigger.
我是说... I mean...
快点 快清理干净 否则要沾到我身上了 Get it, get it, get it before it gets on me!
用什么 没有能用来擦的东西 With what? There's nothing to wipe it up with.
这玩意好像也不是一无是处 A-ha! Maybe it is good for something.
你疯了吗 那可是羊绒衫 Are you crazy? That's cashmere!
什么 天 对不起 Wh-- Oh, my God. Sorry.
怎么 羊绒不吸水吗 What, so it's non-absorbent?
拉娜 那是羊绒衫 我们有我们的规矩 Lana, it's cashmere. There are rules.
抱歉 西里尔 我开始不知道 I'm sorry, Cyril. I didn't know.
-我操 -怎么了 - Aw, son of a bitch! - What's wrong?
可以直接用我的西服裤了 Guess we can go ahead and use my suit pants.
你直接说裤子就行 You can just say "Pants."
帕姆把你的裤子尿了 Pam wet your pants.
还是到处都是尿 It's still basically everywhere!
如果沾到我的羊皮靴上... And if it gets on my suede boots--
行了 天哪 Okay! Jeez!
你怎么不穿内裤 Why aren't you wearing underwear?
什么 搞什么 What? Serious shit,
难道我们已经被苏联占领而我还不知道么 Did Red Dawn happen and nobody told me about it?
难道不是嘛[俄语] Ne tak li?
行了 开心了吗 There! Happy?
-不 -不 - No. - No.
开心了 Yes.
我说 还有这里 Yeah. Hey, and over here, too,
如果尿沾到我的靴子上 because if it gets on these boots,
我也不知道我会做出什么事 I will not be responsible for my actions.
可不是嘛 那样你就能豁出去了 Right? Isn't it just so liberating?
-弥尔顿在干什么 -你... - Hey, what's Milton doing? - What do you--
-他在做土司 -我要看 - He's making toast! - I want to see!
不好意思 我占着地方呢 Well, too bad, I'm in the hole!
-别惹我了好吗 -别惹我了 - Stop torturing me! - Stop torturing me!
天...雷 给他拍张照片 Oh, for-- Ray, take a picture of him!
我的傻逼手机呢 Where's my stupid phone?
-在苏联 -帕姆 - In Soviet Russia-- - Pam?
面包机会给你拍照 --toaster take picture of you.
别胡说了 Doesn't even make sense.
-怎么是胡说 -你胡说 - It makes perfect sense. - You don't make sense.
当然不是胡说 It totally does.
克格勃会窃听你的公寓 安摄像头 The K.G.B. bugs your apartment. They put a camera in--
行了 老天 All right! Jesus christ!
我操 Holy shit!
-怎么了 -有信号了 - What? - I've got a signal!
有半格信号 Yeah, I got, like, half a bar!
快报警 打911 Call 911! Call 911!
在苏联... In Soviet Russia--
帕姆 住嘴 Pam, stop it!
-[俄语] -我是认真的 - Ser'yezno. - Yeah, seriously.
这里是911话务员 请问有什么紧急情况 911 operator. What is your emergency?
喂 能听到我说话吗 Hello! Can you hear me?
喂 我听不大清楚 Hello? I can barely hear you.
我被困在电梯里了 I'm trapped in an elevator!
抱歉 你是说你被困在电梯里了吗 I'm sorry? You said you are trapped in an elevator?
什么...是的 Wh-- yes!
女士 你别跟我着急 Ma'am, you have no call to get snippy with me!
女士 "Ma'am."
对了 被困在电梯里 And for the record, being stuck in an elevator
根本不是紧急情况 is not an emergency.
所以你还是找你的主管吧 So I suggest you call your super.
不不 不要挂 No, no, no, no!
再打过去告诉她 Oh, call her back and tell her
卡罗尔有严重的幽闭恐惧症 Carol's got crippling claustrophobia.
等等 什么 Wait. What?
天哪 Oh, jesus!
该死 God damn it!
911话务员 请问有什么紧急情况 911 operator. What is your emergency?
我被困在电梯里... I'm stuck in an elevator--
女士 打911恶作剧可是犯罪 Ma'am, pranking 911 is a felony!
-我... -我要屏蔽你的号码 - I-- - I am blocking this number!
不不不 不要 No, no, no, no!
女士 "Ma'am"!
天哪 我们真需要好好笑笑 Oh, my God. We need this, too.
确实是 We do kind of.
911干得漂亮 911 burn!
女士 "Ma'am."
对了 你身上全是尿 Plus... plus, you're covered in piss.
雷 雷 打给马洛里 Ray! Ray, call Malory!
-对 打给她 -快打 - Yes, call that person. - Yes, do that.
等等 打给谁 Wait. Call who?
马洛里 她肯定在楼下 Malory! I bet she's downstairs!
她可以叫修电梯的人来 She can call an elevator repair guy!
是啊 等一下 Oh, yeah. Shit. Hang on.
对 等一下 雷 Yeah, hang on! Ray?
-等一下 -我让你等一下 - Hang on! - I'm saying hang on!
等一下好吗 你聋吗 Hang on! What are you, deaf?
你呢 色盲吗 What are you, color blind?
-太过了 -太没礼貌了 - Too soon. - Yeah, inappropes!
说话这位女士边说边把她那狂野的黑木耳 She said, flapping her wildly unkempt vagina
暴露在她同事面前 at her coworkers!
拜托 你们都看到过 Oh, please. You've all seen it!
等等 天 我们还真看过 Wait. Oh, my God, we actually have.
-还有你的 -什么 克里格没过 - And yours. - What? Krieger hasn't!
-可能没当面看过... -停停停 - Well, maybe not in person-- - Bu-bu-bu-bu-bup!
住...口 Stop...talking.
你们都住口 我在打电话呢 Everybody stop talking! Trying to make a phone call!
不不不不 No, no, no, no!
不是我 I'm not here.
厌倦了屡屡被困电梯吗 Are you tired of constantly getting stuck in elevators?
你想想办法避免 Do you wish there was a way to not keep constantly
屡屡被困电梯吗 getting stuck in elevators?
朋友 不要再等了... Well, friend, wish and be tired no longer--
搞什么 Oh, come on.
真是够了 Typical.
苍天啊大地啊 What, in the name of God,
你们这是干什么 do you people think you're doing?
不是要开会吗 Was there not a staff meeting?
是 我留出了一整个上午的时间 Well, there was. I blocked out the entire morning for us all
就是为了大家一起增强团队凝聚力 to do a team-building exercise together.
-又来 -太逊了 - Again? - So lame.
你是故意让电梯卡住的 You got the elevator stuck on purpose!
-什么 -什么 - Wait, what? - Huh?
什么 你在说什么 What? What are you talking about?
把我们困在这里 就像... Trapping us in here, like-- like--
浑身是尿的... Piss-covered--
-豹猫 -动物 - Ocelots! - Animals!
这就是你说的增强团队凝聚力 This was the team-building exercise!
你们...当然不是 What are you-- no, it wasn't!
我本来要请大家一起看《寻梦》的 We were going to watch vision quest.