ShinY
深影
本字幕由 ShinY 深影字幕组原创翻译制作
深影译站地址http://sysub.vip
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大家快来看 Guys, guys, guys, check it out!
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我在易趣上找到了原版《欢乐酒店》的飞镖靶 I got the original dartboard from Cheers on eBay.
只要十万美金 我要把它挂上 It only cost $100,000! I'm gonna put it up.
ShinY
深影
我记得在你往他的眼睛里插刀之后 Hey, I thought Korvo said no more throwing metal in the house
ShinY
深影
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翻译： Carolinea Tammy 少萝东
科沃说过在家里不能乱扔金属了 after you got that butter knife stuck in his eye.
这些可是著名的飞镖靶 These are famous darts!
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只要科沃不知道他就不会受伤 Whatever Korvo doesn't know won't hurt him.
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校对： 阿谚 压制： 孤亦
看这招 我天啊 Watch this. Oh, my God!
- 天啊 - 上帝啊 - Oh, my God! - Jesus!
快去拿声带修复激光 Go get the voice-fixing ray.
对不起 大家伙 我的错 I'm sorry, big guy. My bad!
ShinY
深影
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我们很快就会修好的 We'll get this fixed in a jiffy!
我说过了这里不要扔金属 I told you not to throw metal around here.
工作要迟到了 别给我添麻烦了 We're going to be late to work. Stop buggering about!
科沃听起来是不是有点不对劲 Hey, does Korvo sound a little off?
ShinY
深影
这个机器没被校准 This thing must not be calibrated.
ShinY
深影
- 我再试试 - 不要 - Let me try again. - No!
我感觉挺好的 No. This is working for me.
好了 快点 出发了 All right, chop chop, let's get a move on.
我恨迟到 让我感觉又热又怪 I hate being late. It makes me feel hot and weird.
- 你让我觉得又热又怪 - 你说什么 You make me feel hot and weird. What was that?
啥也没有 我来了 宝贝 Nothing! Coming, sweetie!
等等 他的声音就这样了吗 Wait, is his voice just gonna be like that from now on?
是吧 但是我听起来没差 Yeah, but it sounds pretty much the same to me.
没人会注意到的 Nobody's gonna notice.
失乐普星球曾是一个完美的乌托邦 Planet Schlorp was a perfect utopia
可被小行星撞了个稀巴烂 until the asteroid hit.
一百多名成年人以及他们的复制人 One hundred adults and
带着发配的蛹宝宝 their replicants were issued a Pupa
逃向了... 外太空 and escaped into the… space,
奔走于杳无人迹的外星球 只为寻找新的家园 searching for new homes on uninhabited worlds.
我们迫降在地球 We crashed on Earth,
困在了这个本就人口过剩的星球上 stranding us on an already overpopulated planet.
没错 我就是个不停叨叨的话唠 That's right, I've been talking this whole time.
那个抱着蛹宝宝的就是我 我叫科沃 I'm the one holding the Pupa.
我... 我是这剧的主人 My name's Korvo. This is my show.
蛹宝宝刚溜掉了 Bollocks, I just dropped the Pupa!
简直荒诞无稽 Oh, this is ridiculous.
我痛恨地球 这简直是人间地狱啊 I hate Earth. It's a horrible home.
人们又蠢又笨 People are stupid and confusing.
我现在听起来就这声音 This is what my voice sounds like now.
我不管它是否刺耳 别管了 I don't care if it's jarring. Get over it.
那个声带修复激光里头有时间粒子 And that voice-changer ray has chronitons in it
所以在前情提要里我也是这个声音 so this is what I'm going to sound like in flashbacks too.
有意见的话 忍着吧 You got a problem with that, then tough shit!
这是科学 It's called science!
外星也难民 第四季第一集
搬家清仓 除这块标牌外 家具全清光
好了 失乐普人们 就是这样了 Alright, fellow Shlorpians, this is it.
这次飞船真的被修好了 The ship is fixed for real, real.
我们终于能离开这个破烂星球了 Finally, we can leave this piece of shit planet for good.
我知道我之前也这么说过好几次 I know I've said those exact words multiple times before,
但是这次是千真万确 but this time it's actually happening.
鼓掌 所有人 鼓掌 Clap. Everyone, clap.
太棒了科沃 Bravo, Korvo.
你真的拖着我们这些拖油瓶 You really sacked up and dragged our sorry asses
成功了 across the finish line.
你也忍受了很多糟心事 And you put up with so much BS from us along the way.
不管怎样 你还是坚持下来了 Nevertheless, you persisted.
为科老大欢呼 Gotta give it up for the K man.
科老大心领了 K Man feels you, dawg.
前几个月过得稀烂 Yes, the last few months have been a bitch,
周末修飞船 repairing the ship on weekends,
还要上那个无聊的班 slogging through that boring-ass office job
让蛹宝宝提供秩序和平常 to give the Pupa structure and normalcy,
但都值得 因为他现在好多了 but it was worth it, because he's all better now.
- 是吧 蛹宝宝 - 皮克斯 - Right, Pupa? - Pixar!
回到胡言乱语了 Mm, back to terrible language skills,
我就喜欢这样 just the way I like it.
我们用娱乐滚球彩票给你准备了礼物 We pooled our Skee-Ball tickets and got you a little something.
一件深V纯色上衣 It's a plain T-shirt with a deep V.
哇 我一直想要一件深V Oh! I always wanted a deep V,
但我觉得我驾驭不了 but I never thought I could pull it off.
科沃 亲爱的 你什么都能驾驭 Korvo, honey, you can pull anything off.
给我看看那性感的胸脯 宝贝 哦 Show us that sexy sternum, baby, oh!
- 哇 - 哦 这就是深V - Whoa. - Ooh, that's a deep V.
让我们炸了这个地狱 Let's blow this hellhole.
科沃 科沃 科沃 Korvo, Korvo, Korvo,
科沃 科沃 科沃 Korvo, Korvo, Korvo!
科沃 科沃 Korvo, Korvo!
你在逗我吗 Are you freaking kidding me?
不好意思 我可能睡过去了 Sorry, I must have nodded off.
你在做报告吗 Were you giving a presentation or something?
是你在做报告 You were giving a presentation.
该死 对 对不起 我继续 Shit, right. Sorry, I'll continue.
结论就是 树叶报告会被无限期延期 In conclusion, uh, the leaf report will be delayed indefinitely.
我们委托了一项三百万美金的研究 We commissioned a $3 million study,
很显然树叶只是和树枝在一起 and apparently the leaves are just sticking to the branches.
这么多年了 全球变暖可不是未解之谜了 All these years, and I guess global warming wasn't a myth.
如果我们这个月耙子达不到业绩 If we don't hit our rake quota this month,
那就得削减开支了 there will have to be cutbacks.
不好意思 我确认一下 Sorry, yeah, just to dig in and unpack some of what you said.
这跟耙子有什么关系 Why in the fuck do we care about rakes?
因为我们是做耙子的 Because we're a rake company.
看起来外星难民在一家无聊的耙子公司工作 Looks like the Solar Opposites work at a boring rake company now.
哇 Whoa.
杰西 洋洋乐 快点 要错过校车了 Jesse, Yumyulack, hurry up, you're gonna miss the bus.
我不得不通宵 Had to stay up all night
就为了完成太阳系模型的作业 finishing my solar system diorama for class.
天杀的科学课 Goddamn science.
很好 我们争取做正常人 Good, we're trying to be normal,
如果要说的话 刚才那番话听起来好正常 and that sounds pretty damn normal if you ask me.
这些多余的星球是什么鬼 What the fuck are all these extra planets?
人类还不知道的隐形星球 The invisible ones the humans don't know about yet.
四号地球 麦根三号和他们的屁屁星 Earth Four, Megan thee Planet, and Their-Anus.
他们不能知道这些 We can't tell people about those.
他们隐形是有原因的 They're invisible for a reason.
做个正常的太阳系 Make a normal solar system.
又是金枪鱼和胡萝卜棒 Tuna fish and carrot sticks again?
恶心死了 Ah, this shit nasty.
正常的午餐而已 It's a normal lunch.
或者吃橡子酱 The only other option is acorn butter.
其他的坚果都不能吃 All the other nuts are off the table.
服了那些对坚果过敏的孩子 Screw those kids with nut allergies.
应该是适者生存 It should be survival of the fittest.
不能杀同学 No killing your classmates.
为了蛹宝宝我们必须得他妈的普通 We have to keep it basic AF for the Pupa.
看他玩他的 Look how happy he is
普通益智玩具多高兴 with his totally normal enrichment activity.
我们痛苦的生活给了他秩序 Our miserable lives are giving him structure.
你也不想他变回一团青少年的烦恼吧 You don't want him turning back into a steam of teen angst again, do you?
就是去年年底那个大事 Like that whole thing that was a big deal at the end of last year,
记得吗 remember?
- 不记得 谢谢 - 不 那糟糕死了 - No, thank you. - No, that fucking sucked.
那就去学校过普通的一天 Then go have a normal day at school.
坚持下去 Stay the course.
泰里 走吧 Terry, let's go.
抱歉 我醒来感觉像周三一样累 Sorry, I woke up with a case of the Wednesdays,
但是今天才周一 and it's only Monday.
我们不能迟到 We can't be late.
萨纳先生开始怀疑我对耙子不感兴趣了 Mr. Sarner's starting to suspect I'm not in it for the rakes.
萨纳就是个蠢货 Man, Sarner is such a dick brain.
你比他更适合当老板 You'd be a way better boss than him.
当然 Yeah, no duh.
那笨蛋该庆幸我现在很他妈的普通 That fool's lucky I'm being normal AFF,
不然我早上位了 or I'd have usurped his ass already.
对 篡他的位 科沃 Yeah, usurp that shit, Korvo.
- 哇 - 对 兄弟 - Whoa! - Yeah, buddy.
- 小家伙 - 嘿 - Little Buddy. - Oh. Hey.
你看到了吗 Damn, you see that?
小家伙和蛹宝宝的关系真他妈的冷淡 Little Buddy and Pupa were cold AF to each other.
真对不起 我老是在说"他妈的" I'm, I'm sorry, I'm using "AF" way too much.
戒不掉了 I kinda can't quit.
- 他们肯定吵架了 - 他妈的 - They must've had a falling out. - AF.
也许 那个臭小子马上就要搬走了 Oh, maybe that little fucker will move out soon.
但愿如此 I sure as shit hope so.
刚见面时 我以为 When we met him, I thought he'd be like
他重回这里 跟我们一样 this whole reoccurring thing,
但现在看来 他应该是被抛弃了 but now he just feels like a remnant.
我的天 你们怎么手挽手一起走 Oh, my lord, why the fuck are you walking arm-in-arm?
你俩在约会吗 Are you, like, dating?
不 她跟我属于同一个复制体 No, she's my co-replicant.
他们就是在约会 真恶心 They're totally dating, gross.
就像那部《老男孩》 They're like Oldboy.
注: 美国斯派克·李执导的惊悚电影
不 我们只是利用手肘处的营养吸收触手 Na-uh, we're just using nutrient parts
完成信息共享 你们看 in our elbows to exchange information. Look.
谁家好姐姐跟弟弟共享果汁啊 You're not supposed to exchange juices with your brother.
这很正常 This is totally normal.
认真的吗 明明就很畸形 As if. It's fucking freaky.
手肘炮友 Elbow fuckers!
朋友们快看 Look, everyone.
他们用手肘做爱 They fuck elbows.
- 他们用手肘做爱 - 伙计 - They fuck elbows, everybody. - Ah, man,
我不知道 原来我们是如此奇怪的人 I didn't know we were weird.
这段时间我们别在公众场合传数据了 Maybe we should stop porting in public for a while.
不对 我们需要彻底分开 No, we need to stop hanging out entirely.
我们就像辐射物质 We're radioactive right now.
"手肘炮友"这个称号肯定会不胫而走 This "elbow fucker" thing's got legs. I can tell.
有道理 It does have a ring to it.
但我们还是可以一起玩吧 But we could still hang out, right?
洋洋乐 Yum?
哎呀 Ah geez.
又要我重置密码 Reset my email password again?
密码错误 请重置
我才不干这种傻事 No, I'm not doing it.
没人能猜到密码是 Nobody's going to guess
"国家 空格 讽刺 空格 货车密码69" "National dash Lampoons dash VanPassword69."
我真受不了珍妮丝 Janice is driving me crazy.
她已经整整两周 每天给我讲同一个笑话了 She's told me the same joke every day for two weeks.
你懂吗 就那种又长又臭又不好笑的笑话 Ugh, it's like one of those long, elaborate non-joke jokes,
就跟玛利亚·本福德的幽默一样 like the humor of Maria Bamford.
注: 一名美国演员
每次结束的话题都是 她哭诉一年前 And it always ends with her crying about her husband
自己的丈夫被车撞死 getting hit by a car a year ago.
泰里 这不好笑 Terry, I don't think that's a joke.
我也是这么说的 That's what I'm saying.
每次她抱起结婚照 I'm sick of forcing out a fake laugh
我都得努力假笑 真的烦 every time she cradles a wedding photo.
让我很不舒服 这太无趣了 It's uncomfortable. It's not even funny.
我们去咖啡豆那里吧 来点纯黑 Let's take a walk to the Coffee Bean and get you a flat black.
能让你冷静一下 That always calms you down.
别再嘀嘀咕咕了 珍妮丝 Enough with the bits, Janice!
你又不是玛利亚·本福德 You're not Maria Bamford!
杰西 要我给你掰一块橡子酱饼干吃吗 Jesse, you want us to break you off a piece
我们正准备分享 of this acorn butter cracker that we're all sharing?
当然 给我来一块 Sure, I'll take a shard.
谢谢你们让我跟你们坐在一起 Hey, thanks for letting me sit with you.
听说你跟你弟弟绝交了 We heard you stopped hanging out with your little brother.
远离家人真的 超级酷 Betraying family is, like, mega cool.
之前你俩互相插进对方的手肘 真的很诡异 That was weird when you guys used to jizz into each other's elbows.
我不会再和洋洋乐那样做了 Well, Yumyulack and I don't do that anymore,
不会再跟他说话 不会每时每刻想着对方 or talk or think about each other every second of the day.
我很确定 That's for sure.
能搞自己的弟弟 那可是天下第一美事 There's nothing better than fucking with your little brother.
好吧 Oh, okay.
我根本没意识到这件事 I didn't know that was a thing that was done.
说起来 Oh yeah.
我放了个运动相机在十加仑帽里 I put a GoPro in a 10-gallon hat and live-streamed
直播我弟康纳拉直阴毛的全过程 my little brother Conner straightening his pubes.
他已经被毁了 It fucking ruined him.
只能跟奶奶搬去瑞典住 He had to move in with Gramgram in Sweden.
有点过分 但你让我了解到 That feels a tad harsh, but I am still learning
正常的姐弟关系是什么样子的 what a normal sibling relationship looks like.
大概就是 将一克冰毒 It looks like hiding a gram of crystal meth
藏在我弟的寄物柜 in my brother's locker.
他现在在监狱上学 He goes to school in jail now.
你打算怎么搞洋洋乐 So how are you gonna fuck with Yumyulack?
不知道 酒吧里应该很嗨吧 I don't know. The bar seems really high.
天呐 你该在"海上"舞会搞起来 Oh, my God, you should do it at the Above the Sea dance.
太对了 Fuck yeah.
要在他新朋友面前狠狠地羞辱他的老二 Humiliate that chode in front of all of his new friends.
前提是 他有那玩意 If he even has any.
说得好 杰西 Good one, Jesse.
教师休息室
我感觉找到了归属 真开心 I'm so glad I found my tribe.
这里的氛围一直如此吗 Is this the normal vibe in here?
没错 我们大多是老烟枪 Yeah, we mostly chain smoke,
数着日子 等着领退休金 count down the days until our pension kicks in,
还会打趣那些笨蛋学生 and do impressions of the dumber students.
"我是格雷戈·西蒙斯 "Dur, I'm Greg Simmons.
上课看《罗密欧与朱丽叶》时 I shot a load in my pants
我在裤子里射了一发" watching Romeo and Juliet in class."
最后一节课 我们打算重演《奔腾年代》 For last period, we're just gonna put on Seabiscuit
注: 一部美国历史运动剧情电影
离开课堂 前往"感谢之岛" and duck out to Islands for Mahalo Hour.
太好了 朋友们 Hell yeah, dawg.
最后一个到的要给我买大杯长岛冰茶 Last one there buys me a Big Island Ice Tea.
我爱球形冰 你在干什么 Mm, I do love pebble ice. What are you doing?
我在尽可能延后 I'm making it take as long as possible
回办公室的时间 to get back to the office.
我真的太讨厌那里了 科沃 That's how much I hate it there, Korvo.
我宁可待在电梯 I'd rather be in the elevator.
也许 我们都该承认 上班就是无聊的 I guess we just have to accept the fact that work is boring.
你只能接受 There's absolutely no way around it.
认输吧 Suck it.
请帮帮忙 Hey, a little help.
这是什么 Whoa, what is that?
是乒乓球 It's ping pong.
乒乒球 Ping ping.
这里是工作的地方吗 And this is a place of business?
对 我们是超越床浴公司的客服中心人员 Oh yeah. We're a call center for Bed, Bath, and Beyond.
听起来像是最他妈无聊的工作 Oof, that sounds like the most boring AF job there is.
曾经是 但后来老板给我们买了这张桌子 Used to be, until our boss bought us this sweet-ass table.
老板给你们买的吗 Your boss got this for you?
乒乒球桌是办公室办公用品的一部分吗 The ping ping table is an official part of the office?
对的 是工作规定 Oh yeah, this job rules.
- 乒乒球 - 乒乒球 - Ping ping! - Ping ping!
- 问题是... - 放下电话 - Look, the fact is... - Get off the phone.
我和泰里找到了解决问题的好办法 Terry and I have found a way to solve our problems.
什么问题 What problems?
只需要你配合完成一件十分重要的事 We just need one super-important thing from you.
鼓声 起 Drum roll, please.
谁家小孩 Who are these kids?
他们怎么... How did...
在办公室买张乒乒球桌 Buy the office a ping ping table.
拒绝 No.
滚出去 Get the fuck out.
我们拿不到桌子 你们也拿不到钱 If we don't get the table, you don't get paid.
哥们 这电话很重要 Guys, that was an important call.
茶给你 萨纳 Here's the tea, Sarner,
你提供的工作环境糟透了 the workplace environment you created fucking sucks.
经调研发现 其他办公室的工作氛围更好 Our research shows the vibe is better at other offices,
他们办公室有乒乒球 offices with ping ping.
乒乓球桌会扰乱办公 A ping pong table would be too disruptive.
别想了 It is not happening.
泰里 萨纳先生的意思很明确 Well, Terry, I think Mr. Sarner has been clear and...
我们找到个绝佳的地点 可以放在锅炉房 We measured out a perfect spot for it in the boiler room.
大家都不应该进入锅炉房 You shouldn't be going down to the boiler room.
太危险了 It's extremely dangerous.
温迪 Uh, Wendy?
不好意思 刚刚断线了 Hi, so sorry we got disconnected.
科沃 伙计 你为什么不支持我 Korvo, my dude, why the fuck didn't you have my back in there?
我知道怎么得到乒乒 I know how we get the ping ping,
但需要高级计划 but it will require some high-level scheming.
过来 Come on.
爱莎 把我们抽烟 Aisha, bring up the scheming set
和商量对策的谋划室放出来 where we like to smoke and scheme.
不对 "嗨 爱莎 今天过得怎样" Wow, no, "Hi, Aisha. How's your day going?"
这才是交易之道 Just right to business.
你知道的 我爱你 抱歉 You know I love you. I'm sorry.
你是真的感到抱歉 Are you sorry 'cause you're sorry
还是因为我批评了你 or because I called you out on your bullshit?
都有 Both.
噢 我要换套更适合讨论的衣服 Oh, oh, oh, I'm gonna slip into something more schemable.
那个废柴压根就不懂怎么让员工感受到重视 That turd has zero clue how to make his employees feel valued.
要是你当上老板 第一件购置的就应该是 If you were the boss, a rad ping ping table would be
一张酷炫的乒乒桌 your first purchase.
废话 但可惜事与愿违 No shit, but that's not the world we live in,
- 所以我们要抗争 - 深v上衣喔 - so we fight. - Whoa, deep V, huh?
别取笑我 我觉得穿着很没有安全感 Don't make fun of me. I'm feeling insecure about it.
我很爱 No, I love it.
尤其是 它能将你胸的轮廓勾勒出来 Especially once your chest gets more defined.
抱歉 继续讨论吧 Sorry, continue scheming.
萨纳说 只有我俩想要乒乒球桌 Sarner said we're the only employees who want ping ping.
要是我们能证明 其他同事也想要乒乒球桌 But if we can prove our co-workers also demand ping ping,
那他就是搬起石头砸自己的脚 then he'll be boxed in by his own logic.
但是公司里没一个善茬 Ah, but everyone in the office is a sleemo.
我列了份名单 他们是公司里最蠢 I made a list of our stupidest co-workers
但是朋友最多的人 with the most friends.
如果我们能说服这些人 支持购入乒乒桌 If we can get them supporting ping ping,
那么 其他的人都会跟风签名 the rest will fall in line.
但这些人不是讨厌我 就是嫉妒我 But everyone hates slash is jealous slash
要不就是想睡我 wants to sleep with me of us.
那我们得推他们一把 Then we motivate them.
名单上第一个是道格 First on the list is Doug.
他总会聊起他对沙奎尔.奥尼尔 He's always talking about how much he loves
专属美味"大先生"巧克力的热爱 vintage Shaquille O'Neal Mr. Big bars.
注: 有机会赢得沙奎尔的脏袜
皮姆和贾姆 明眼人都知道他们互相喜欢 Pim and Jam, clearly in love with each other,
但是贾姆有个人见人不爱的傻逼男友 but Jam has a stupid boyfriend nobody likes,
因此 老实人皮姆不敢有进一步的行动 and Pim's too dopey to do anything about it.
得有人帮她一把 All she needs is a little push.
不敢相信 我男友居然出轨了那么丑的妓女 I can't believe my boyfriend would cheat on me with this ugly whore.
然后是愚蠢的老妇珍妮丝 Then there's big, stupid Janice.
这个无趣的老女人只在意一件事 And we all know that boring biatch only cares about one thing.
一年前那个夏天 This is the man
就是这个男人害死了你的男人并肇事逃逸 who killed your husband in that hit-and-run two summers ago.
签了这份请愿书 他就是你的 Sign our petition and he's yours.
是我干的 我要杀了你们 That's right, I did it and I'd do it again.
游戏结束 萨纳 Game, set, match, Sarner.
乒乒球桌的话语权 Those are ping ping words.
你手上是一份请愿书 办公室每个人都签了名 In your hands is a petition signed by everyone in the office.
结果很明确 职员们都想乒 The message is clear, your workers demand the ping.
依然是 不行 The answer is still no.
去你的 你之前说只有我俩想要乒乒 Fuck you. You said we were the only ones who wanted ping ping
而我现在已经推翻了你说的话 and I've trapped you with your own words.
论据不成立 Your whole argument has collapsed.
不是因为这个 It doesn't matter.
明晚我要和董事会的人开会 I'm meeting with the board of directors tomorrow evening,
他们要对公司开支进行完全的审计 and they're doing a full audit of our expenses.
他们要是看到不如意的地方 And if they don't like what they see,
就会关闭我们分公司 they're gonna shut down this branch.
我无法说服他们 乒乓桌存在的合理性 There's no way I can justify a ping pong table to them,
我也说过 锅炉房放乒乓桌不安全 and I already told you it is not safe in the boiler room.
现在 滚出我的办公室 Now get out of my office!
就快成功了 蛹宝宝 You are so close, Pupa.
需要来点线索吗 You want a hint?
爱莎 有个小问题 Aisha, quick question.
大屌倍增器在哪里 Uh, where's the Phallic Multiplier?
姐妹 你要拿大屌射线做什么 Girl, what do you need the dick ray for?
我的大姐恶作剧 My big-sister prank.
我要在"海面上"舞会 让洋洋乐被大屌包围 I'm gonna cover Yumyulack in dicks at the Above the Sea dance.
你可不能这么羞辱洋洋乐 You can't humiliate Yumyulack like that.
他是个非自愿单身狗 He's an incel fuckface.
注: 指对女性和性生活活跃的男性都抱有敌意, 认为自己无法恋爱的男性
与之相反 我很善待洋洋乐 Ha, if anything, I'm going easy on the kid.
你该去听听学校那些女的 You should hear
是怎么对待她们的弟弟的 what the Stacis do to their little bros.
要保持你们肘部运输口开放和畅通 Trust is the key thing
信任是关键 to keep your elbow port open and flowing.
若没有信任 它们会永久关闭 Without it, they'll close up forever,
就像耳洞 like a earring hole.
永远 Forever?
为什么我现在才第一次知道 How come this is the first I'm hearing about this now?
去你的 杰西 Fuck you, Jesse.
傻逼外星人 Stupid alien.
我要大屌射线 越快越好 I'm gonna need that dick ray ASAP.
他们还是孩子 得允许孩子偶尔犯错 They're teens. You gotta let them make mistakes.
重要回忆 在你撑不住的 时候打开
你们俩 过来 You two, come with me.
关于你们说的 我考虑了很久 然后... I did a lot of thinking about what you said, and...
萨纳 你这个美丽的混蛋 Sarner, you beautiful bastard.
你买了乒乒球桌 You got the ping ping.
但是 董事会 But the board of directors.
你说过 你没办法说服他们 You said you couldn't justify it.
别操心董事会 Don't worry about the board.
我知道怎么说能让他们顺利批准 I know the perfect thing to say to get them to sign off.
不过 我有个条件 But I do have one condition.
- 第一局让我先打 - 成交 - I get the first game. - Deal.
最后你还是选择做一个好人 Wow, in the end, you actually are a pretty good guy.
和你们工作 想不做好人都难 Hey, working with you two makes it easy to be good.
噢 Oh!
危险 不得移除 安全装置
老天爷啊 Jesus Christ!
萨纳说得对 Whoa, Sarner was right.
锅炉房很危险 The boiler room is hella dangerous.
对他而言 不是说我们 I mean, for him, not us.
所以 我们没错 So I guess we were both right.
复习下行动计划 Let's go over the plan.
计划将在库克校长 It's all going down when Principal Cooke
颁发学生奖的时候进行 presents the Student Awards.
我们已经说服所有人给洋洋乐投票 We convinced everyone to vote Yumyulack
给他投身材进步最大奖 for Most Improved Body.
当他上台领奖... And when he goes on stage to accept...
我将像正常人家的大姐一样 I suffocate him in shlongs
让他在大屌中窒息 like a normal big sister.
- 我看到了他的脑子 - 我们太坏了 - I see his brain. - We are so fucked.
- 我看到了他的脑子 - 我们太坏了 - I see his fucking brain. - We are so fucked.
我们干了什么 我们干了什么 What do we do? What do we do?
你们在设计什么电视剧情节 What kinda sitcom plot you all devising this time?
我们遇到了困难 爱莎 We're in a tight spot, Aisha.
几个小时后 In a few hours,
董事会要跟萨纳先生会面 the board of directors is expecting to meet with Mr. Sarner.
虚拟甲板上是他的尸体吗 And that's his dead ass over there on my Pretendo-deck?
对 萨纳没法到场说服董事会 Yes, and now the board will take our ping ping table away
那我们的乒乓球桌会被收走 because Sarner won't be there to say the perfect thing to justify it.
我还没玩上呢 Ah, I haven't even gotten to play yet.
你们为什么不复活他 Why don't y'all just bring the dude back to life
那他就可以自己跟董事会交流 so he can talk to the board himself?
你知道吗 我有一整套的复活药丸 You know I got a whole sleeve of those Resurrection Pellets, right?
我们使用科技 Wouldn't it jeopardize the Pupa's progress
不会影响蛹宝宝的进度吗 to use sci-fi like that?
就只是个小药丸 I mean, it's just one little pellet.
我没意见 Yeah, I'm cool with that.
- 科沃 - 我觉得可以 - Korvo? - I too accept this rationalization.
好吃 Mm, yummy.
嚼碎它 Chew it up good.
妈呀 Ah, fuck!
可恶 我可以再来一片吗 Oh shit, can I get another pellet?
经典 Classic.
那么在这个组里面最有可能当缉毒警的 And in the category Most Likely to Be a Narc,
你们这帮孩子 都选了瑞克·布拉兹 you, the students, voted for Rick Blaze.
瑞克同时还是最佳篮板王 Rick was also voted Best Rebounder.
这是你的另一个奖杯 Here's another trophy.
恭喜呀 瑞克...探员 Congrats, Detective... Rick.
呃 就瑞克吧 Uh, just Rick.
接下来 有一个我们应该停颁的奖项... And now, an award we should probably stop doing...
身材进步最大奖 Most Improved Body.
获奖者是洋洋乐 And the winner is Yumyulack.
哇 我的天 Oh, my God!
谢谢 Thank you!
我 我都不知道这副身体还能改进 I, I didn't even know this body could be improved.
过去
他们应该跟别人一样茁壮成长呀 They should be growing and thriving like the rest of the crowd.
这两个是怎么回事 What's wrong with these two?
唔 我有个主意 Hmm, I have one more idea.
我下不去手 I can't do it!
我就知道你是个虚伪鬼 I knew you were a fake-ass Staci.
拿来把你 Give me that.
我亲自出马 I'll do it myself.
啊 不 Ah, no!
我全身从耳朵到眼线都是老二 I'm fucking covered in dicks ears to eyliner !
发生什么事了 What just happened?
那些女的想让我整你 但我感觉那样不对 The Stacis wanted me to prank you, but it just didn't feel right.
我们总是互相照顾 我以后再也不乱来了 We've always had each other's backs and I'm not gonna stop now.
噢 谢谢啊 Oh, uh, thanks.
然后最佳射手奖获得者是杰西 And the award for Best Bow goes to Jesse.
我妈 哇 你们终于发现啦 Me? Aw, you guys noticed.
别去 Don't!
为什么不 Why not?
那是伊沃克人的木头陷阱吗 Is that an Ewok log trap?
注: 伊沃克人是电影《星球大战》中的虚拟种族
我还有老师们设置了那个坐标 Me and the teachers set those logs up
为了在你接受最佳射手奖的时候 to smash your head like an AT-ST
像AT-ST那样暴锤你的头 when you accepted Best Bow.
注: AT-ST是电影《星球大战》中的一种装甲武器
都是他们的主意 It was their idea.
能躲开这一切真是谢谢你了 Thanks for not going through with it.
看上去你们费了不少功夫 Looks like you guys worked really hard on that.
诀窍就是把它当成一根大木头吊起来 The trick is to hoist it as one big log
然后切成两半 and then cut it in half.
真棒 不愧是你能想出来的 Oh yeah, that's thinking with your head.
你再也别想在岛上跟我们一起喝酒了 You are never getting drunk with us at Islands again.
我还以为你跟我们是一伙的 We thought you were one of us.
我才不是呢 Well, I'm not.
我可是失乐普人 I'm a Shlorpian.
还有最佳长号演奏手的获奖者 比利·侯森堡 And the winner for Best Trombone Player, Billy Hosenberg.
那好 我觉得颁给杰克·奎尔巴也不错哦 Alright, I guess the award goes to Jackie Quilbard.
太对了 就是这样 Fuck yes, I did it!
看上去可时髦了 萨纳先生 Looking snazzy, Mr. Sarner.
我有身体 I have a body.
你妈的 我们把你复活了 Fucking hell. Yes, we brought you back to life.
我在永恒的光晕中漂浮了百万年 I was floating in the eternal glow for a million years.
温暖祥和 Safe, warm.
你赶紧想起来接下来 You need to remember what you were going
你要跟董事会说的话 to say to the board of directors
好保住那张乒乒桌 to justify expensing a ping ping table.
我之前来过这里 I've been here before.
我做了一些小提示卡帮助你找回记忆 I've made some flashcards to help jog your memory.
"乒乒桌能提升你百分之五十的产量” "Ping ping increases productivity by 50 percent."
我知道这是胡扯 但说说又没事 I mean, that's bullshit, but let's see if it flies.
我是这么回到这个位面的啊 How did I get back on this plane of existence?
闭嘴啊你 Would you shut up?
根本就没人在乎你死后发生了什么 Literally no one has ever cared about what happens after you die.
董事会来咯 The board is here.
再给我点时间 泰里 I need more time, Terry.
萨纳刚复活还是弱智状态呢 Sarner's being a baby about his resurrection.
我穿越了黑色的山脉 I traversed the black mountain.
怎么又回来了 Why am I back?
行吧 我就先去跟他们插科打诨拖延一会 Okay, I'll just have to stall them with the old razzle-dazzle.
萨纳哪去了 没时间浪费了 Where's Sarner? We don't have all day.
我们可是董事会成员 We're members of the board.
他马上就来了 He's on his way.
但首先 他想让我先来热热场子 But first, he wanted me to pop in and give a brief preamble.
耙子 他们哪里来的呢 Rakes, where do they come from?
如何制造出来的呢 How do we make them?
你们仔细想象 When you think about it,
耙子就是用来盛树叶的大号叉子呀 a rake is just a big fork for leaves.
这不禁让我们联想到 Which leads me to my next question.
难道我们是一家草地沙拉公司吗 Aren't we just a salad company for lawns?
你他妈的在胡诌些什么啊 What the hell are you rambling about?
哇 看看这老兄 你可能需要这个 Oh, look at this guy. You probably need one of these
来梳梳你的头发 对不对呀 to comb your hair, am I right?
不赖 你是懂我的嘛 Alright, you got me. You got me.
萨纳真高兴你终于来了 Sarner, so glad you could finally join us.
我的永恒要终结了 I am eternity made finite!
他在 呃 参考《沙丘》 He's, uh, referencing Dune.
董事会看过你们的企划了 The board reviewed your books,
我只能说 我们很失望 and I have to say, we're disappointed.
我要逃离这里 I can't be here!
不要装可怜 Don't play for sympathy.
你承诺要削减开支 但是昨天 You promised to cut expenses, but yesterday,
你居然用公款买了一张乒乓桌 you bought a ping pong table on the company card.
我们都从光中来 We are all made of light,
我这就回到那光里去 and to that light I shall return!
我就知道我们该多带几个药丸 I knew I should've brought a couple of extra pellets.
大家都在嘲笑我们 但我不在乎 Everyone's laughing at us, but I don't even care.
去他们的 我们就这样 Fuck 'em. This is our normal.
如果别的孩子知道连接是什么感觉 If the other kids knew what this connection felt like,
他们或许没那些看法了 maybe they wouldn't be so judgmental.
啊爽 Ah, yeah.
你觉得那些警察 You don't think those cops will piece together
会推断出真正发生在萨纳身上的事吗 what really happened to Sarner, do you?
我他妈希望不会 Fuckin' hope not.
我们要是犯了过失杀人罪 We can't give the Pupa a normal life
就不能给蛹宝宝一个正常的生活了 if we're convicted of felony manslaughter.
好吧 不管发生什么 我们一起面对 Well, whatever comes, we'll get through it, together.
警察们都走了 The cops are gone.
我们解释了是由于耙子行业的压力 We explained that the pressure of the rake industry
对萨纳来说太大了 was too much for Sarner
以至于他崩溃自杀 and he killed himself out of weakness.
对 萨纳就是个懦夫 Yes, Sarner was a coward,
而且不应该有人调查什么外星人 and no one should investigate any aliens.
同意 我们在想在新的领导下 Agreed. We think under new leadership,
这个部门应该会好转起来 this branch could really turn itself around.
我已经完全准备好了 I'd love to throw my hat in.
泰里 我们喜欢你早上 Terry, we liked your panicked ad-libbing
跟我们瞎扯的那些玩意 when you were stalling us earlier.
不如你来当新的部门经理如何 How would you like to be the new branch manager?
我 当老板 Me, the boss?
妈的好啊 Fuck yes.
那行 让我们去岛上庆祝一下 Great, let's get blasted at Islands to celebrate.
但是 但.. 但 泰里 我想... But, but... But, Terry, I was gonna...
你第一件事就是去 Your first order of business will be to get rid
把那张烦人的乒乓桌处理掉 of that godawful ping pong table.
对 你说到点子上了 温迪 那玩意太闹腾了 Yeah, you're on point, Wendy. It's way too disruptive.
科沃 我们出去的时候把那东西丢了 Korvo, trash that thing while I'm out.
但我想跟你们一起去 But I wanted to come with you guys.
不行 这是你的领导给你下的办公命令 No, that's an official order from your boss.
没错 从现在开始 我就是你的老板 宝贝儿 That's right, from now on, I'm the boss, baby.
啊 不是宝贝老板 是你的老板 宝贝 Well, not the Boss Baby, but I am your boss, baby.
他妈的想喝瓶牛奶了 妈的 Fuck, now I want a bottle of milk, damn it.
来个人给我整点牛奶啊 Someone get me some milk
我可是老板 宝贝们 because I'm the fucking boss, baby.
我爱死这个公司啦 I love this company!
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