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跟你说实话吧 Be honest with you,
这毛病白天还行 it don't bother me so much in the davtime.
晚上是最痛苦的 让你躺在床上睡不着 It's at night when I lav down and qo to bed. I can't sleep.
疼如地狱 辗转反侧 I toss and I turn. It's hell.
你平常乳制品吃得多吗 牛奶 乡村干酪 酸奶油什么的 Do you eat a lot of dairv? Milk, cottage cheese, sour cream?
我都爱吃 Yes, all of it.
我不是专业医生哈 但听上去 I'm not a doctor, but it sounds to me
你好像是乳糖过敏 或乳糖不耐 like you might have a lactose allergv or a lactose intolerance.
真的吗 Really?
我建议你完全戒掉乳制品 Mv suggestion is that you cut out dairv from your diet completely.
很难办啊 我喜欢奶酪 It's gonna be tough. I love cheese.
谁不喜欢脆饼蘸卡门培尔奶酪呢 拜托 Hev, who doesn't love a delicious Camembert on a cracker? Come on.
卡门培尔 是啥玩意 Camembert? What the fuck is that?
-算是奶酪的一种 -我听都没听过 It's a soft cheese. - I ain't ever heard of that shit.
特别好吃 It's very good.
我也说不好该怎么办 应该不好戒 我总吃乳制品 I don't know how I'm gonna do it, man. It's qonna be tough. That's all I eat.
我知道很难 我都含泪放弃马尔科纳杏仁了 I know it's hard. I had to give up Marcona almonds.
是种坚果吗 Is that like a nut?
对 超好吃 再加点松露油和海盐 Yeah, delicious. That with some truffle oil and sea salt.
味蕾盛宴 Tremendous.
我都听不懂你他妈在说什么 I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.
好吧 Okay.
拉里·大卫 你可以走了 Larrv David! You're free to go.
-看看你啊 -律师来了 Look at vou. Lawyer's here.
保持联系哥们儿 很高兴认识你 Stav in touch, buddv. Good to meet you.
大卫先生 我是乔·德安吉洛 一名律师 Mr. David, I'm Joe D'Angelo. I'm an attorney.
你经纪人杰夫让我来的 Your manager Jeff sent me
拉里 我把我电话给你 Hey, Larrv let me give vou my number, man,
咱们保持联系 好吗 We can stay in touch, you know?
-你带手机了吗 -带了 Hev, vou got a phone on you? - Sure.
-你能帮我记下他的号码吗 -他的号码 You mind taking his number down? - His number?
-好的 -记一下 是4048928042 Yeah. - Yeah. 404- 892- 8042.
对 记下了 Yeah, I qot it.
有空来找我 拉里 慢走不送 Hit me up sometime, Larrv. Take it easy, buddv.
-谢谢你们 咱们走吧 -带走吧 Thanks, fellas. Let's go. All yours.
听着 拉里 我可以叫你拉里吗 Listen, Larrv, may I call you Larrv?
-当然 -听我说 拉里 Yeah, yeah, sure. - Okav, listen to me, Larrv.
我帮你申请了个人担保 I qot you out on an R. O. R.
你用个人名誉为自己做保 懂吗 Thev're releasing you on your own recognizance, okav?
-好的 -有问题吗 Yeah. - What's wrong?
没问题 Nothing.
我怎么知道给别人递瓶水也犯法 I didn't know it was against the law to give someone a glass of water.
欢迎来到乔治亚 朋友 Welcome to Georgia, my friend.
听着 我只想认罪 然后回家 Look, all I wanna do, all I wanna do is plead guilty and qo home.
我想离开这鬼地方 I wanna qet the hell out of here.
咱们就按这个策略 你先认罪 我周一前就把你弄出来 That's the plan. You plead guiltv. I qet vou out of here by Monday
惩罚小到可以忽略不计 好吗 with the slap on the wrist. Okav?
我来问你 Let me ask you this.
所以这家伙让我飞来给他庆生 So this guv flies me out of here to make an appearance
可他现在不愿付我钱了 at his birthday partv, and now he's not paying me.
咱们先把这个刑事案子处理好 好吗 Let's stick with this criminal case, okay?
其他案子之后坐下来慢慢谈 And then we can sit down and mavbe talk about the other thing.
耶 拉里 你是我的英雄 Yeah, Larrv! You're my hero!
-我爱你 拉里 -瞧瞧这个场面 - I love you, Larrv! - Look at this!
看来你是自由派的宠儿 Looks like you're some kind of liberal darling.
-不会吧 拜托 -没错 Get the hell out of here. Come on. - That's right.
-你怎么来了 -我怎么会让你独自面对呢 Look at vou. How could I not be here for you?
多好的朋友啊 What a pal.
找了一家爱彼迎 咱俩的行李都放过去了 一切都安排好了 I got an Airbnb for us. I got all your luggage there. You are all set.
对了 这是乔·德安吉洛 Hey, this is Joe D'Angelo.
对 我们通过电话 你好吗 Yeah, we spoke on the phone. How are you?
-乔对吧 -很高兴终于见面了 Joe? Nice to finally meet you.
我也很高兴 也很荣幸 谢谢你出手帮忙 Nice meeting you, too. A pleasure. Thank you for helping us out,
别客气 正如我常对客户说的一样 Sure. Listen, I'll tell you what I tell all my clients.
别担心 我会把你伺候的舒舒服服 认识你很高兴 杰夫 Don't worry. You're in good hands. Nice meeting you, Jeff.
-真是怪事 -难以置信 太疯狂了 Weird. lt's unbelievable. It's insane.
他看起来跟摩卡乔一模一样 He looks iust like Mocha Joe.
你活这么大 见过如此相像的两个人吗 Have you ever seen an uncannv resemblance like that in your life?
我从没见过他 只跟他通过话 他是别人推荐的 I never saw him. I onlv talked to him. He was recommended.
专业能力一流 He was like, the best.
但就因为他跟摩卡乔长得像 让我有了种莫名的反感 But I havea natural antipathy towards him because of Mocha Joe.
是啊 很抱歉找他来 Yeah. I'm so sorrv that I hired him.
你还在用那款染发剂 是吧 Stjjl the hair dye? Still going with it, huh?
对 因为我喜欢啊 拜托 Come on. I like it. I do.
-我不这么认为 -我真的喜欢 I don't think vou do. I like it.
我知道你不喜欢 别骗你老哥哥我了 Iknow yoy don't. You're not being honest with vour pal.
没事 咱去跟粉丝打个招呼吧 That's okav. Let's go greet my public.
拉里 Larry!
谢谢你 你真是太好了 Thank youl So nice of you.
-这就是我们租的房子 -是的 So this is our rental? Yep
有件事很有趣 This is interesting,
我昨晚在监狱读了本《美国科学》 I actuallv read this in iail last night in the Scientific American
几千年来 人类在穿鞋的时候 that for thousands of years humans have been putting on their·shoes
一直用食指当鞋拔 using their index finger as a shoehorn.
按照进化论的观点 我们的食指在几千年后 And in some kind of Darwinian way we've adapted
为了适应这一做法 and the index finger in a couple of thousand vears
会看起来像个鞋拔 it's gonna look like a shoehorn.
你他妈在说啥啊 鞋拔子 The fuck are you talking about? Shoehorn?
不是 你看 已经有点变平了 No, look! You can see it's getting flatter.
明明跟其他手指一样啊 别扯了 They look like the other fingers. What are you talking about?
你看的是《美国胡扯》吧 I think it's"Bullshit American".
你看看多像鞋拔 Looks like a shoehorn.
什么 草坪上怎么会放这个 What? What is this doing on the lawn?
这是房子自带的 你以为是我放这里的吗 It came with the house. You think I put it on the lawn?
我们入住前都不知道有这么个东西 We didn't know it was there until we moved in.
-太不像话了 -不像话 That's awful. Terrible.
实在不像话房子门口有这种东西 我才不要住 That's awful. I can't stav in a house with that thing there.
-一瓶水 什么 -这条法律也太苛刻了 威利 A bottle of water. What? - It's an outrageous law, Willie.
但是拜托 我们必须佩服拉里·大卫的勇气 But come on, vou qot to take vour hat off to Larry David.
拉里·大卫因为一瓶水而被捕 总有人要这么做 而他做到了 It had to be done. And dammit, he did it.
总有人要这么做 而他做到了 It had to be done. And dammit, he did it
嘿 Hev!
外面那玩意咋回事 那个草坪马夫 What's with that thing out there? The lawn jockev.
我懂 这里是南方 这是人家的特色 I know. We're in the south. That's what thev have.
-我们得把它扔掉 -不能扔 We got to get rid of that thing You're not qetting rid of it.
我不能住在有这种塑像的房子里 I can't stay in this house with that thing outside.
-让我生理不适 -这是爱彼迎好吧 I'm not comfortable. This is an Airbnb.
我保证金都付了 能不能别纠结这事儿了 I qave a securitv deposit. Just leave it the fuck alone.
你看到这个新闻了吗 You see what's going on here?
采取了勇敢的立场 It's a courageous stand.
他也许不是公车上的罗莎·帕克斯 I mean, you know, maybe it's not Rosa Parks on the bus,
但你知道 这行为实属不易 but you know, this is pretty important.
太好了啊 This is amazing.
我不想刻意拔高 但耶稣那句话怎么说来着 I don't wanna get all preachy about this, but what did Jesus say?
我渴了 你便给我水喝 I was thirsty and vou qave me water. "
拉里便是这么做的 That s what Larry did here.
我很好奇 共和党人真要施压 And I'm just wondering, are Republicans, like, reallv qonna push
我很好奇 共和党人真要施压 And I'm just wondering, are Republicans, like, reallv gonna push
把这家伙送进监狱吗 getting this guv into iail?
这个事件逐渐有了话题性 The story gaining momentum, too.
引发了全国政治人物和名人对 Political figures, celebrities across the country reacting
拉里·大卫的勇敢行为表态 to Larry David's brave stand.
拉里·大卫把思想落实在了行动上 而不是口头上 Larrv David is about action, not words.
他看到了不公 就尽其所能去纠正 He saw an iniustice and he did what he could to right it.
这正是今天的美国所缺乏的 And that's what we need todav in America.
-这是一起公关事件 -拉里·大卫冒了很大风险 It's a cause celeb. - Larry David took a big risk.
把名誉和健康置之度外 He put his name and his body on the linel
你现在成英雄人物了 You're like a hero or something.
拉里·大卫向我们展示了什么是“路见不平拔刀相助” Involvement". That's Larrv David's middle name.
拉里·路见不平拔刀相助·大卫 Larrv"Involvement"David.
你敢信吗 Can you believe that?
他们嘴下这个拉里·大卫感觉是个好人呐 This Larrv David thev're talking about seems like quite a fellow.
-那当然 -我们能不知道吗 He is. But we know better.
你一定累坏了 想喝杯咖啡吗 我煮了咖啡 You must be exhausted. Do you want a cup of coffee? I got coffee made.
那就太好了 非常感谢 That would be great. Thank you verv much.
嘿 葫芦台那边咋样了 Hev, what's going on with Hulu?
明早11点 我们有场视频会议 11: 00 tomorrow morning, we got a Zoom call.
你明天还要开视频会 绝对不行 杰夫 Tomorrow you have a Zoom call? I don't think so, Jeff.
你还是改期吧 你脑子坏掉了吧 You're gonna have to change that. What the hell's the matter with you?
哦糟了 明天是你生日 Shit. It's your birthdav.
没错 我生日时候不准视频开会 Yes, exactly. No Zooming on mv birthdav.
-不准你在我生日当天工作 -怎么 你生日是法定节假日么 No work on mv birthday. - What is that, a national holidav?
那天对于我和杰夫相当神圣 It's a sacred dav for Jeff and me.
那他可以上洗手间吗 Is he allowed to qo to the bathroom?
他可以上洗手间 拉里 Yes, he can go to the bathroom, Larry.
你也想做啥都行 但杰夫整天都得陪着我 And you could do whatever the fuck vou want, but Jeff is mine all day.
怎么 你才十岁吗 拜托 What are vou, ten years old? Come on.
想想这个世界没有我的出生 会多么的操蛋 You know, if I wasn't born, think the whole world would be shit.
你以为这是吉米·斯图尔特的那部电影么 If this was that movie with the Jimmy Stewart.
《生活多美好》 It's a Wonderful Life.
你以为还有天使陪你巡游么 谁鸟你啊 Yeah, and the angel was taking you around. Nobody would give a fuck.
觉得自己挺幽默哈 我弄你的咖啡去了 Very funny. Getting you coffee.
疯了吧她 而且你知道吗 This is just insanity. And you know what?
我还得给她买礼物 我都不知道去哪儿买 买什么 I got to get her a gift. I don't know where to go, what to get her.
而她还总是不满意 It's always a disappointment
可我不想倾家荡产地买礼物啊 太悲催了 and I don't wanna break the bank. It's so frustrating.
总要想着另一个人 这也太痛苦了 What a thing to go through. You have to think about another person.
简直痛苦 It's iust terrible.
我可能有个主意 This is a possibility for you,
你不想花太多钱 是吧 You don't wanna spend too much money, right?
又想哄她开心 And vet you wanna make her happy,
那你就买两份礼物 但你只送她一份 You get two gifts, but you only give her one
先看看她的反应 and see how she reacts to the one.
她要是因为你只送了一个不开心 If vou see she's a little disappointed'cause it's iust one,
你就把第二个拿出来 then you bring out the second,
她要是对第一个满意 你就把第二个退掉 And if she's happy with the one, then you return the second.
我怎么就没想到呢 瞧瞧这多简单 How did I not think of that? So simple. Look at that,
-谢啦 -什么鬼 Thanks. - What the fuck?
-外面那是啥玩意儿 哥们 -我知道 太不像话了 What is that, man? - Yeah, I know. It's terrible.
你还知道 你看见了还径直走进来 You know? You guys have to walk by him when you came in?
我不知道 我两分钟前才看见的 I don't know. I just saw it for the first time two minutes ago.
-你俩是不是还碰了个拳啊 -我们不碰拳的 You fist bumped this motherfucker? - No, we don't fist bump,
嘿 你好 Hey, what's up?
这样吧 咱把它放车库里 越来越离谱了 You know what? Let's put it in the garage. This is crazy
-你觉得呢 -好的 You want to? - Yeah, veah.
天 赶紧把他弄出去 Jeez. Get him the fuck out of here.
好沉呐 你们究竟有没有在抬 This is heavv man. What the fuck? Are you guvs doing anvthing?
-我抬着呢 -你没事吧 Yeah, I'm holding it. - Are you okav?
妈呀 Shit!
-天 -不会吧 Oh man! Come on!
瞧瞧你干得好事 Look what vou did.
我干得好事 我就知道你会这么说 What I did? I knew you would say that shit.
我抬的那部分最沉了 I had the heaviest part.
最沉了 是你自愿要抬那里的 You got the heaviest part? You volunteered for the heaviest part.
你说你想抬着后面的 You said you wanted to stav in the back.
发生了什么啊 你们干啥好事了 What the hell happened? What did you guys do?
我们出了点小意外 We had an accident.
你说你们搬这玩意干啥 这又不是我们家 Why did you even move the fucking thing? This is not our house.
你们得再去找个一样的 Well, vou're gonna have to iust find another one.
我才不要损失保证金 都听到了吗 Cause I am not eating the security deposit. You hear me?
现在就去给我买个一模一样的 Go buy a new one right now. The exact same onel
能等你生日那天再买吗 Can we do it on your birthdav?
服了 Jesus.
我得去洗个澡 然后我们 I'm gonna take a shower and then we'll...
这玩意儿哪里有卖呀 How am I gonna find one of these things?
别忘了我们也得给苏西买礼物 Don't forqet we got to get Susie's gift. All right?
我压力都爆表了 实在不知道送她什么 This is so damn overwhelming. I don't know what to get her.
-我一点都不羡慕你呢 -不可能 I don't envy you. This is impossible.
嘿 你就是那个给女士递水的人 Hey, you're the guy that gave that ladv the water.
没错 就是我 Right! I'm the guy.
你就是那个把毛衣 And you're the guy that's wearing a sweater
系在脖子上穿的人 这句咋样 tied around his motherfucking neck. How about that?
嘿 来看看这家 Hev, right there. Look at this place.
进去逛逛吧 Let's do it.
这个店符合苏茜的风格 你看这件农服 This really looks like a Susie store. Look at this stuff.
-不太行 -那这件呢 It's pretty horrible. What about this thing?
这件就很完美 That looks fucking perfect.
我先去墨镜小屋 把1号礼物买下 I'm going over to Sunglass Hut. I'm getting gift number one.
- 你俩忙我逛逛2号礼物 -好一会儿见 You two scout for gift number two. All right. Ill see you in a minute.
真荒唐 我竟在给苏西买东西 离谱 This is so stupid. I'm looking to shop for Susie? This is insane.
已经有这么多丑衣服的人 还要给他买点啥呢 What do you buy a person who alreadv has bullshit like this bullshit?
呃 不妙 我有大事要办 Hev, you know what? I got a big iob.
好吧 Okay.
我想上大号 你觉得这儿有洗手间吗 I gotta drop the kids off at the pool. You think they have a bathroom here?
有是有 但你不买东西 Thev have a bathroom. But you can't use the bathroom
就不能用他们的洗手间 这是规矩 unless vou buy something. That's how they do it.
先生好 需要我帮你找衣服吗 Hello, qentlemen. May I help you find something?
呃 我们只是随便看看 No. You know we're iust browsing.
我们刚上货了几款宽边帽 We just got some gorqeous wide brimmed hats in.
-软呢帽 我喜欢软呢帽 -带你们去看看吧 Fedoras? I love a Fedora. - Would you like to see anv?
我想问问 你们有洗手间吗 I'm wondering, do you have a restroom I could use?
-你要用洗手间啊 -是的 You have to use the restroom? - Yeah.
-现在吗 -是的 Right now? - Kinda, veah.
好吧 在那里 Yeah. Right this way.
-瞧瞧这是谁 苏茜 -走吧 Look who showed up. Susie. Let's go.
打扰下 还有什么需要我帮忙的吗 Excuse me. Is there anvthing else I can help you with?
我知道您喜欢软呢帽 带您看几顶吧 I know you were interested in the fedoras. I can show you those.
我想了想 先不买了 You know on second thought, I don't think so.
但洗手间只供付费顾客使用 Well, the restroom is for paying customers onlv.
我进店时确实带着购物意愿 Well, I browsed with intent to buy,
但很遗憾 没看到特别想买的东西 but unfortunatelv, I didn't reallv see anything that was of interest to me.
那么在一般情况下 In your previous condition,
你得花多少钱 才能用洗手间 how much would you have paid to use the restroom?
-500 -500刀呢 -500. - 500?
居然真被我找到了 我找到一副最适合她的墨镜 I cannot believe I found a pair, but I found the perfect pair for her.
太棒了 Fantastic.
我负责的礼物选好了 你们这边呢 I got mine. What'd you guys come up with?
我们这边呢 What did we come up
我们选了好久 Well, we've been browsing
我们打算送那个手袋 and we've come up with that purse.
这个手袋 太完美了 感谢两位 选的太好了 That purse. That's perfect. Thank you both. Great call.
瞧 我选了你店里的东西 我也是顾客 Yes, we found that in the store. See, I'm a customer.
不 他才是顾客 你只是他拉屎的朋友 No, he's a customer. You're just his friend who pooped in our toilet.
请问有什么需要 Can I help you find anvthing?
-你好啊 -你好 Hev there. How vou doing?
我想买一个 那个东西应该叫草坪马夫吧 Good. Interested in buving...A lawn iockev they're called, right?
-没错 就是这么叫的 -对 草坪马夫 Yeah, that's exactlv what thev are. Yeah. A lawn iockev.
我发现这里的马夫都是同一个肤色的 I noticed that they're all pretty much the same, you know, ethnicity.
想问问你们有没有深色的 Wondering if perhaps you had any darker ones.
多深 Darker how?
黑色的 Black?
你想买黑色的吗 You want a Black one?
不是你想的那样 这故事说来话长 It's not what you think. It's a long storv.
对 有400年之久呢 始于尼日利亚 Yeah, it's like 400 years long. Starts in Nigjeria.
相信我 我和你一样 对这种行为深恶痛绝 Believe me, I have the same aversion to them as you do.
可你现在却要买一个 But you're looking for one.
再次重申 说来话长 Again, it's a long story.
这根本不是我的主意 我只想把它换掉 I have nothing to do with it. I iust have to replace it, really.
所以 你已经有一个了 So you alreadv had one.
你知道吗 这个看起来挺像那个 You know this one? This one looks verv similar to the.
黑色那个的 The Black one.
我再问一个问题 你们卖黑色油漆吗 Let me ask vou this guestion. Do you sell black paint?
我们不卖黑色油漆 No, we don't have black paint here,
那鞋油呢 Shoe polish?
没有鞋油 没有焦油 也没那种东西 No, we don't have anv shoe polish. We don't have any tar,
行 你知道吗 Okav. You know what?
那我就买这个吧 然后再改造改造 I think I'm gonna qet that one, and I think I can work with that.
-你怎么买了个白人 -我知道 It's WhiteYeah, I know.
他看着有点不对劲 但我说不出是什么 Something about him, too. I can't put my finger on it.
你怎么没买点油漆 Why didn't you go to a paint store?
我找过 找不到还开门的油漆店 I looked. I couldn't find a paint store that was open.
苏茜随时可能回来 我们该怎么办 Susie will be here any minute. What are we gonna do?
你有鞋油吗 Got anv shoe polish?
没有鞋油 I don't have shoe polish.
你看啥呢 What are you looking at?
非常好 Pretty good.
太棒了 好主意 苏茜来了 我们走 This is great. Great idea. Susie's here. Let's go!
我草 Fuck!
哦 嘿 你好啊 Oh, hevl Hev hey
我验验货啊 Let's see
-跟之前的一样吗 -当然 我带着摔坏的头去买的 Okav. It's the same? I brought the head with me. Yeah.
你带着头去买的 You brought the head with you?
-好吧 你逃过一劫 -我们逃过一劫了 AlI right, vou're off the hook. - We are off the hook.
你们仨不许再犯傻了 Don't do any more stupid shit, the three of you.
也不许再胡闹 No more stupid shit.
我的保证金一分也不能少 Wasn't eating that securitv deposit.
好吧 Okav.
怎么样 瞧咱这事儿办得怎么样 真不错 How about that? How about them apples? Great!
咱们把这儿收拾一下 et's clean this shit up.
几千年来 人类在穿鞋的时候 So for thousands of vears, humans have been putting on their shoes
一直在用食指当鞋拔 using their index finger as a shoehorn.
随着时间的推移 我们的食指 And in time, our index fingers have been,
-生日快乐 -送给我的吗 Happv birthdavl For me?
哦 亲爱的 哦 宝贝 Oh, baby doll. Oh, baby
-是一副太阳镜 -多美啊 Sunglasses. Fantastic
你喜欢吗 You like'em?
-喜欢啊 让我照一下 -她喜欢 I like em. Let me look. - She likes them.
-我确实喜欢 -让我看看 I do like'em. Let me see.
这算是很多长岛女人的梦中情镜了吧 As many women from Long Island would say, to die for.
说得不错 也是我们这次亚特兰大之旅的一个纪念 That's true. And you know what? It's a nice memento of our trip to Atlanta.
我超爱 你选得很好 宝贝 I love them. You did good, babe.
我选得很好 I did good.
我手机里好热闹 大家都在祝我生臼快乐 The texts just keep coming in. The birthdav wishes.
-天 天哪 -怎么了 Oh, boy. Oh, ieez. - What's the matter?
我不想坏了气氛 但我得去见律师了 I hate to bring this up, but I got this meeting with my lawyer now.
那你去吧 一会儿见 Well, qo. We'll see you later.
问题是我没法一个人去 I mean, the problem is I can't really go alone
这些事我也不懂 不如杰夫跟我一起去 cause I don't know what the hell I'm doing, and if I could bring Jeff.
我知道今天是你生日 很抱歉打扰你 但这事非同小可 I know it's your birthdav. I'm sorrv to ask, but this is important,
我需要他的支持 and I just need him there for support.
-你知道今天是她生日吧 -我知道 You do realize it's her birthdav? Well, I know it's her birthday.
我想改期的 I tried to chanqe it to another day,
但他说文件必须在今天之前提交 but he said the papers had to be filed by today.
行吧 行吧 这样吧 AJJright. You know what?
我们是活在现实 这事很重要 你可以去 但要马上回来 This is real life. This is important. You go. Come right back.
-你都意识不到我走了 -一到一个半小时就回来了 Back before vou know it. An hour, hour and a half?
不会花很久的 我保证 It's not gonna take long at all, I promise.
萨米刚给我打了电话 Sammy just called.
顺便说下 那篇文章最后提出 By the way, the upshot of the article?
几千年后 我们的食指会变成鞋拔子 That in thousands of years our index fingers are qonna resemble shoehorns,
你自己看看食指的形状 扁扁的 Check it out. You can see it. You see the shape of it? ook. Flat.
-太神奇了 是吧 -怎么样 Unbelievable, right? ·Look at this.
-这个也很贵的吧 -是的 This is expensive too, huh? - Yeah.
还是你有远见 谢谢 Hev, vou were right. Thank you.
我们去把它退掉 Let's go return it.
还准备了一份礼物 这俩鬼鬼祟祟的混蛋 Another fucking gift? You two sneaky cock suckers.
他们要把这个礼物送谁 狗崽子 What are thev doing with that? Fucking idiots.
抱歉 我想退货 Excuse me, I'd like to return this.
-要退货是吗 -是的 麻烦了 You wanna return it? - Yes, please. Here.
-你这样良心不会痛吗 -你在说什么 You feel comfortable with this? - What are you talking about?
-在你做出那种事之后 -我做了什么 我啥都没做 After what vou did. - What did I do? I didn't do anything.
我只是用了下洗手间 我是犯了什么大罪吗 I used the bathroom. What a crime I committed.
我用了他家宝贵的洗手间 I used the precious bathroom.
又不是我要退货 我连顾客都不是 Hey, this isn't even mine. I'm not even the customer.
顾客是他 这包又不是我买的 He's the customer. I didn't buy it.
没错 你不是顾客 Yeah, exactlv. You weren't a customer
你也根本没想来我这儿消费 and you had no intention of ever being a customer.
你只想随便走进一家店 把人家当你的公共厕所 You just qo into random stores and use them as your public restroom.
好 行 够了 AlI right. Okay. It's enough!
我买点东西行了吧 你就开心了吧 Okav, I'll buy something. Will that make you happy?
-是的 -这家店有适合我的东西吗 Yes. - What? What can I buy in this store?
我有件好东西 I have iust the thing.
我认为这件可以衬托出你的眼睛 I think this would bring out your eves.
-确实眼睛亮了不少 -真的吗 ·Does bring out your eves. - Reallv?
-绝了 -太神奇了 Fabulous. - This is amazing.
我一般不会穿这种衣服 不过 It's not the kind of thing I would generally wear, but.
-挺见效的 -我帮你结账 No, it works. - I'll ring it up.
-一位南方绅士 -要了 A Southern gentleman. I'll take it.
-能衬托出我的眼睛 -一共650 Brings out my eves. - That'll be 650.
好 不会很久的 我完了给你发短信 All right. This won't be long. I'll text you when I'm done.
祝你好运 代我向律师问好 All right. Well, qood luck to you. Tell the lawyer I said hey.
我以为自己要晕过去了 我跟他说我很渴 I thought Iwas gon'faint, vou know? And when I told him how thirsty I was
他就去车里给我拿了一瓶水 heiust went to the car and got me a bottle of water
让我感觉好多了 and it really made me feel so much better.
-看到了吗 -谢谢 宝贝 See? Thank vou, baby.
你说你在线上呆了多久 And how long would vou say you were on line?
你说你在线上呆了多久 And how long would you sav vou were on line?
-就是投票的时候 -整整两个半小时 At the voting? It was over two and a half hours.
真是丢人 What a disgrace.
作为你的律师 我想先把话说清楚 Okay so look, as your attornev, I iust wanna be above board.
到了法官面前时 你会认罪的对吗 When we get in front of the judge, you're going to plead guilty, correct?
-是的 -等等 Yeah. Wait!
拉里 我以为你会帮我们挑战这条霸道律法 Larrv. I thought that vou was qonna help us fight this evil law.
你会认罪 You qon'plead guiltv?
什么叫你会认罪啊 拉里 What you mean you're gon'plead guilty, Larry?
他必须认罪 He has to plead quiltv.
拉里是来领导我们抗争的 Larrv is here to help us fight for our cause.
我会抗争的 但要用我自己的方式 I am gonna fight. I'll fight it in my own way.
也就是说你根本不会抗争 So what you mean is you re gonna do it no wav. Larrv.
我不想进监狱 I don't wanna go to jail!
拉里 你现在是大家心目中的英雄 我之前把你想的很伟岸 Larry, people are thinking you a hero. I thought vou were better than that.
真的 里昂 我闻到糊味了 I really did. Leon I smell something burning,
你最好别把我厨房弄得一团糟 You better not be throwing no spaghetti up in my ceiling.
意大利面酱用完了 我只能用番茄酱了 We ran out of spaghetti sauce, so I had to use ketchup.
天呐 看看你做啥呢 Boy, what are you cooking over here?
你这只有亨氏番茄酱和意面 我真的尽力了 I'm doing the best I can with just Heinz Ketchup and spaghetti.
-你还是会认罪的 对吧 -是 You're stil pleading guiltv, right? - Oh, yeah.
很好 Good,
天 这咖啡 你喝过这位女士做的咖啡吗 Man. This woman's coffee. Have you had this woman's coffee?
太好喝了 真想问问她从哪儿搞来的咖啡豆 It's amazing. You know, I wanted to ask her where she qot the beans.
豆子太重要了 你知道吗 It's got to be the beans, you know?
我老爸常说 豆子太重要了 It's the beans, like my old man used to sav.
关键就在豆子 没有好豆子 就没有好咖啡 All about the beans. You don't have the beans, vou don't have the coffee.
你喜欢咖啡吗 拉里 You like coffee, Larrv?
来尝尝这杯咖啡 喝一口 拉里 Try this coffee. Have a sip of this coffee, Larrv.
好咖啡的关键在于咖啡豆 Good coffee is all about the beans.
我必须问问这是哪里的豆子 I'm qonna ask her where she get these beans.
你喝过这种咖啡吗 你喜欢咖啡吗 拉里 Have you had this coffee, Larrv? You like coffee, Larrv?
-我真受不了了 -怎么了 Can't do this anvmore. - What's wrong?
你总让我想起一个我憎恶的人 You remind me of someone I detest.
对不起 Sorrv.
进行得如何 How'd it go?
-把律师炒掉吧 -摩卡乔吗 Fired the lawyer. - Mocha Joe?
摩卡乔 Mocha Joe.
是真的很热 还是我的错觉 Is it a million degrees or is it my imagination?
难以置信 热冒烟了 It's unbelievable. It's scorching.
这里的天气热爆了 真离谱 I cannot believe this weather. Is it hot here? Crazv.
从没见过这么热的天儿 It's like nothing I've ever experienced.
你有啥想告诉我的吗 Something you wanna tell me, huh?
你们去哪儿了 Where have vou been?
我去见律师了 Well, I went to the lawver.
律师 你去见律师了 The lawver? You went to the lawyer?
你带着一盒礼物 去他妈去见律师了 With a gift box? You went to the fucking lawver?
我只想表达一下谢意 Well, it was just to show my appreciation.
哦是吗 这个虚构的律师喜欢他的礼物吗 Oh, reallv? And how did Perrv Mason like his gift?
-喜欢 -对 他很喜欢 Liked it. Yeah, he liked it.
你俩尽给我扯淡 You were so full of shit, both of you.
我在监控里看到你俩从树屋里 Cause I saw you on the video up in the tree house,
拿了个盒子出来 里面装了什么 taking that box out. What do you got?
送给乔治亚某个妓女的礼物 Like a Georgia whore who you're giving gifts to?
没什么乔治亚的妓女 No Georgia whore.
那礼物是送谁的 Well, who the fuck was that gift for?
我看到你俩拿出来了 你还说 瞧在这里 我好兴奋啊 I saw you all taking it out and all, "look, I got it. I'm all excited. "
然后你俩还击了掌 礼物是送谁的 And you two high fiving. Who was the gift for you?
送你的 You.
你觉得我会信你的鬼么 那么礼物呢 You think I qot to believe that bullshit? Then where is it?
我把它退掉了 I returned it.
- 退掉了 -因为太贵了 You returned it? - It was expensive.
那又怎样 So what?
你已经喜欢第一个 所以没必要送第二个 You liked the first one, so the second one was unnecessary.
你连两份礼物都不舍得给我买 礼物是什么 You couldn't give me two fucking gifts. What was it?
一个手袋 A purse.
在我生日当天 你时间全花在了退掉我的礼物上 So on my birthday, vou spend vour dav returning mv birthday gift.
你俩还真是时间管理的大师哈 That's a wonderful use of time, both of you.
天啊 Oh mv God.
这是怎么回事 What's going on here?
这是什么鬼 What the fuck is this?
染发剂 Hair dve.
够了 你们俩这次也太过分了 AlI right, you two. You have reallv qone too far this time.
马上去给我买个黑马夫 不许失手 Go out and get me a Black iockev right now! You better fucking find one.
再把那个手袋给我买回来 And I want that purse back, too.
这是朱利亚尼 难怪我觉得他长得混蛋 It's Giuliani. No wonder I thought he looked like an asshole.
-快去 -朱利亚尼 Just gol Giuliani!
马上去 老娘今天的生日全毁在你俩手里 Go! Now! It's mv fucking birthdav. You're ruining it.
好吧 里昂 去哪儿 AlI right, Leon. Where do we go?
买是能买到 但要开远点 You qot to ride a little further out if you wanna find one.
好的 那你来给我们指路 Well, direct us. What should we do?
继续开 该转弯我会告诉你的 Just keep fucking driving. I'll tell vou where to fucking turn.
听着 这种草坪黑人马夫本来也很冒犯 Look, this whole Black lawn iockey shit is bullshit anvway.
就该给它安排个一个更体面的工作 You know, it should be something more respectable.
比如黑人草坪医生 Like a fucking Black lawn doctor
脖子上还挂着听诊器 with a stethoscope around his fucking neck.
给房子里的混蛋做检查之类的 Giving motherfuckers checkups and shit.
或者是什么夹着公文包的律师 Or a fucking lawver holding a briefcase and shit.
-看 有了 -很好 Look, right there. - That's qood.
下午好 我想问问 Hev, qood afternoon. I'm wondering
你这个草坪马夫肯卖吗 if you might be interested in selling your lawn iockey.
不卖 No.
不卖 No!
滚出去 Get out of herel
啥事 Yeah?
下午好 很抱歉打扰了 Good afternoon. I'm so sorrv to bother you.
我认得你 I recognize you.
你就是那个搅乱我们选举的外地疯货 You're the wing nut that came down here is messing with our elections.
没错 就是我 Yep. That's me.
你要我的草坪马夫做什么 What the hell you want with my lawn jockev?
我姐是个公开的种族主义者 她快死了 Mv sister's an avowed racist, and she's very sick.
我想让她开心一下 I thought this might cheer her up.
-这声音挺耳熟 -一无所获 That sounds familiar. Nothing. No luck.
那我们怎么办 总得做点什么 Well, what are we gonna do? We got to do something
你在给谁打电话 Who are you calling?
天 拉里 你还好吗 老哥 Hell! Larrv! What are you doing, big guv?
你好 艾美特 Hev, Emmett.
听着 告诉你个好消息 我听了你的劝 戒掉了奶制品 Listen, I got to tell you something. I cut out dairv like you said,
生活轻松多了 感觉也好极了 and everything is better in mv life. I feel like a million damn dollars.
太棒了 That's fantastic.
多亏了你 拉里 It's all"cause of you, Larrv.
我感激不尽 I just can't thank you enough.
希望有机会报答你 I wish there was a way I could repay you somehow.
其实呢 Actuallv
小心点 易碎品 Be careful, it's fragile.
进来了往那边滑滑 把底部滑进来 Got it. Now slide it that way. Pull the bottom down that wav.
底座特别沉 这样应该没问题了 It's bottom heavv. It should be fine like that.
-谢谢你 埃米特 -客气了 Thank vou, Emmett. - Yeah, no problem.
-非常感谢 -不客气 拉里 Thanks so much. - Hev, my pleasure, Larrv.
我告诉你 自从戒掉乳糖后 I'll tell you, ever since I quit this lactose business,
我整个人都改头换面 这个教堂小塑像 I'm turning over a new leaf. That little statue I qot from the church?
是我最后偷的一件东西了 That's the last thing I'm ever stealing.
-你先等等 -怎么了 Stav right there. - What?
千万别动 Don't vou move.
这什么东西 里面到底是啥 The hell's this? What the hell is.
-收下 -这是送我的 Go ahead. This for me?
穿上试试 Trv it on.
-我去 -很不错 Oh shit! There you go.
我天呐 Good Lord.
这就是给拉里·大卫帮忙的回报 You do Larry David a solid, that's what you qet in return.
老天啊 哥们 God almightv, man.
你是个真正的南方绅士 You are a real Southern gentleman.
-还挺合身 -认识你很高兴 Fits perfect. - Great to meet vou.
认识你很高兴 Pleasure meetin'you.
一路顺风 好吗 亚特兰大随时欢迎你 Y'all drive safe, all right? You come back to Atlanta any time.
牧师 你们玩得开心吗 Pastor, v'all having a good time?
开心啊 雷女士 Yes, Miss Rae.
我告诉你啊 你们能吃多少吃多少 Listen here now. I want y'all to eat as much as you can, all right?
切斯特 盘子里要多放点排骨 Chester, vou better put some more ribs on this plate.
-怎么能只放一根 你想啥呢 -是 女士 我知道 One rib. What do you thinking, bov? - Yes, ma'am, I got va.
-没看到来了这么多人吗 -对 教堂烧烤日 God. Look at all these people. - Yeah. Church barbecue.
-一会见 -嘿 里昂 See you later Hev Leon
拉里给你一起来的吗 Is Larrv with you?
-拉里就在那儿 -来吧 拉里 快下车 Larrv's right there. Come on, Larrv. Get out the car.
各位 这位是拉里·大卫大家热烈欢迎 Evervbody, this is Larry David. Give him a big round of applause, v'all.
-一起说 你好 拉里 -大家好 Say, "Hi, Larrv". - Hello, everyone.
看到这些人了吗 他们都很喜欢你 See all these people? They love you.
你一定不会让他们失望的 I know you're not qonna disappoint them.
下车来吃点东西吧 孩子 So come on. Get out that car and get you something to eat, boy.
好吧 那我过去 Okav, I'm cominq.
再次掌声鼓励 拉里·大卫 Give him another big round of applause, v'all. Larry David.
-是我起码能做的 -对吧 杰夫 Least I could do. - Jeff, right?
-是我起码能做的 -对吧 杰夫 Least I could do Jeff, right?
-是啊 -我给你也盛点 Yeah. Come on and get vou some, too
我想介绍谢尔曼牧师给你认识 I want vou to meet Pastor Sherman, okav?
我可以用下洗手间吗 Hev, would it be okay if I use the bathroom?
就在那边 去吧 Right through there. Go ahead.
你看到这个人了吗 Hey, vou see this guy right here?
那夹克不像是他的 咱们把他关起来 That does not look like his jacket. Let's light him up.
什么鬼 开什么玩笑 What the hell is this? You gotta be kidding me.
你这夹克是哪来的 先生 Where you qet this jacket, sir?
别人送我的 It was a gift.
送你的 那为什么上面还有价签 A gift? Why is the tag still on there, sir?
讲真 我都没有注意到 Honestlv, I didn't know it was on there.
你的驾驶照拿来我看看 Let me see your driver's license.
操 Shit.
跟我来 你被捕了 Come with me. You're under arrest.
真是扯淡 什么鬼 我根本没偷 This is bullshit, man. What the fuck? I didn't fucking steal itJ
是我朋友拉里送的 It was from my friend Larrv.
他是个老疯子 我跟他是在监狱里聊杏仁时认识的 拜托 Some crazy old man I met in iail talking about almonds. Come on. Fuck.
嗨 杰夫 怎么样 排骨好吃吗 Hev, Jeff. How vou enjoying them ribs?
辣的过瘾 你知道吗 Thev got a kick to em. You know that?
-天 太好吃了 -你说好吃我就放心了 Man, thev're delightful. I'm glad vou loving them.
切斯特 再帮我打包点排骨 Chester. I need you to box up some more of those ribs
让他们临走时带走 so that Jeff can take them home with him.
来了 Coming up.
拉里·大卫 我是谢尔曼牧师 很高兴认识你 Larry David. I'm Pastor Sherman. It is a pleasure to meet you.
很高兴认识你 Nice to meet you.
来 我介绍教众给你认识 Let me introduce you to the congregation.
圣徒们听着 Saints, listen!
这个人鼓舞了我们 This man is an inspiration.
过奖了过奖了 lt's gone a little overboard.
拉里·大卫 还是应该叫你拉里·丹尼尔 You see, Larry David...Or should I call vou Larry Daniel?
因为他与丹尼尔一样 Okay. Because iust like Daniel,
毫无畏惧地走进了狮子巢穴 he walked into the lion's den without fear.
这名字不错 拉里·丹尼尔 可能我会改个姓 I like the sound of that. Larrv Daniel. Mavbe I'll change mv last name.
拉里是我们亚特兰大黑人社区的重要人物 Larry is that powerful man today for the Black community here in Atlanta.
不 不 不 No, no, no!
什么鬼 What the fuck?
你他妈耍我吗 拉里 Are you shittinq me, Larrv?
-这傻逼买了个黑人马夫 -你是有啥大病吧 Motherfucker's got a lawn iockev! What is wrong with you, man?
-真让人反胃 -不不 It makes me sick! No, no!
滚出去 Get out of here, man.
-喂 这不是给我买的 -再见 拉里 Hev, hev! It's not mine! Bye, Larrv!
大卫先生 你因妨碍乔 Mr. David, you've been charged
IRSEWHMAJWHF with obstruction of the election process in the state of Georgia. 治亚州选举进程守到起诉
如果本庭最后判你有罪 你将面临 And if you're found guilty at trial, you'll be subiect to a fine
一万美元的罚款和最多一年的监禁 of 10 000 dollars and up to a year in prison.
你怎么辩护 先生 How do you plead, sir?
无罪 Not guilty.
这才是我认识的拉里·大卫 Now, that's the Larrv David I know.
90天后开庭 下一个 Trial set for 90 days hence. Next casel
所以我才做了一大锅炖排骨 That's why I alreadv made a big ole pot
还在上面放了超多好吃的青菜 of those put your foot in it qreens.
咱们回家吃去吧 We going back to the house!