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-这趟飞得也太久了 -太久了 That's a long flight, man. Long flight. Yeah.
太残忍了 Brutal.
嘿 拉里 是你啊 继续为了我们加油 Hey, Larry, I see you. Keep fighting for us.
好吧 嗯 怎么样 Okay. Huh? How about that?
我的同族在向你示爱呢 拉里 My people showing you fucking love, Larry.
拉里·戴维 Larry David.
天啊 是拉里·戴维 对不起 我是西耶娜·米勒 Oh my God, it's Larry David. Sorry, I'm Sienna Miller.
真不敢相信我见到你了 我刚在新闻上看到了你 I can't believe I'm seeing you. I've just been watching you on the news.
-这太不可思议了 对吧 -太不可思议了 How crazy is this, right? - It's crazy.
我代表每一个有心的人 谢谢你 Well, thank you, on behalf of everybody who has a heart.
拉里 干得漂亮啊 Hey, Larry, good job!
不管怎样 我真不敢相信我碰到你了 Anyway, I cannot believe that I've bumped into you.
-真是命中注定 -命中注定 It's bashert.
-你从哪学来的这词儿 -很不错吧 Where'd you get that from? - Pretty good, huh?
是很不错 Yeah, pretty good.
再见 拉里 常联系 Bye, Larry. Keep in touch.
常联系 你看到了吗 Keep in touch? You saw that?
西耶娜·米勒 她在跟我调情 对吧 Sienna Miller, she was flirting with me, was she not?
看到了 Saw that shit.
这是千载难逢的机会 This is a once in a lifetime opportunity,
但因为厄玛 我无能为力 but because of Irma, there's nothing I can do.
真是太浪费了 真的 It's such a waste, really.
那可是西耶娜·米勒啊 Sienna Miller, my God.
-这个贝果好吃吗 -好吃死了 How's that bagel? - Fucking great, man.
算了 我不吃这个 You know what? I'm not gonna eat this.
我想我会把它给那个人 你觉得呢 Think I"ll give it to that guy. What do you think?
如果你觉得合适 那就去做 If it's in your heart, you do it.
嘿 你想吃贝果吗 Hey, you want a bagel?
想 Yeah.
不不不不不 站住 站住 No, no, no, no, no! Stop, stop!
谢谢 小伙子 Thanks, man.
-侥幸 -天啊 Fluke! Oh my God.
你在干什么 你怎么了 What are you doing? What's the matter with you?
-我三秒就拼出了侥幸这个词儿 -侥幸 谁会这样 - I got fluke in three. - Fluke? Who does that?
这太不尊重了 就像对着别人的脸打喷嚏一样 It's so disrespectful. It's like sneezing in someone's face.
-你把今天都毁了 -我要去戒酒互助会 You just ruined our day. - I'm going to an AA meeting.
-离谱 -你这辈子都拼不出来的 This is crazy You would never have gotten it.
-我会的 -你连外阴这个词儿都拼不出来 - I would've got it. - I had to help you with vulva.
我知道外阴是什么 那可是很棒的车 I know vulva. That's a great car.
-不 这不是车 -这是最安全的车之一 No, it's not a car. - It's one of the safest cars.
你绝对找不出来侥幸这个词儿 You never would've gotten fluke.
-嘿 别再这样了 -你永远不会找不出来的 Hey, don't do that again. - You never would've gotten it.
-我能找不出来的 -算了吧 I would've got it. Get over it.
-这么做太卑鄙了 -她是真的离谱 伙计 Such a shitty thing to do. She's something else, man.
搞什么啊 我滴妈 What the hell? Come on!
我刚看到你的蛋蛋了 吊在短裤外面 I just saw your balls! They're hanging out with those shortsl
那是什么 你给我塞回去 塞回去 What is that? Just swivel back.
天啊 那短裤到底是怎么回事 Oh my God. What's with those shorts?
我的蛋蛋到底有什么让你这么不顺眼的 What is it about my balls that bother you like this?
蛋蛋真恶心 就像你阴茎下面长了个象人 Balls are disgusting. It's like the elephant man under your penis.
我认为大脑和蛋蛋是相关的 I think the brain and the balls are related.
如果你拿一个放大镜放在你的蛋蛋上观察 If you take a magnifying glass and you put it on your balls,
它和大脑的形状是一样的 it's the same pattern as the brain.
所以人们说用老二思考呢 That's why people say you're thinking with your dick.
你时不时会说些蠢话 Every now and then you say something so stupid,
但其实还挺有道理 but it actually makes sense.
-当然有道理 -我要走了 Course it makes sense. I'm getting out of here.
-你要去哪儿 -你认识隔壁的杜安·塔布曼吗 Where you going at? - You know Duane Tubman next door?
-当然 塔布曼嘛 -他父亲刚去世 Hell yeah, Tubman His father just died.
代我向他致以最深切的哀悼 Hey, you give him my deepest condolences.
我觉得我应该过去表达一下哀悼什么的 I feel like I should go over and pay my respects or something.
和邻居搞好关系总是有用的 It always helps to be on good terms with your neighbor.
好吧 你知道吗 我又看到了一眼你的蛋 Okay. You know what? I just got another glimpse.
说实话 你刚刚那是故意的 Honestly, that one was on purpose!
水远缅怀
节哀 Sorry.
节哀 So sorry. Hey.
拉里 感谢你能过来 Larry, thank you so much for coming.
当然可以 这是邻居该做的 对吧 Of course. Hey, this is what neighbors do, right?
我们互相扶持 来吧 We have each other's backs. Come on.
顺便说一句 你在亚特兰大的所作所为真的让我很感动 By the way, I was really touched by what you did in Atlanta.
这话出自塔布曼之口 我认为这是一种极大的赞美 Coming from a Tubman, I take that as a great compliment.
好吧 Okay.
不管怎样 听到你父亲的事我很难过 Anyway, very sorry to hear about your father.
谢谢 好吧 是岳父 不过还是谢谢你 Thank you. Well, father- in- law, but thank you.
是吗 我以为是你父亲 Really? I thought it was your father.
不 是洛琳的父亲 No, it's Lorraine's.
-岳父啊 -对 Father- in- law? - Yeah.
这样好多了 That's a little better.
嗯 是我岳父 也很令人难过 Well, it's my father- in- law. lt's a loss.
杜安 这当然令人难过 但你知道 那不是你爸爸 Duane, of course it's a loss, but you know, it's not your dad.
-拉里 那毕竟也是个人 -当然 我知道 Larry, it'sa human being. - Yeah, of course. I know that.
我只是想描述一下父亲和岳父 I'm just trying to delineate the differences between a father
之间的区别 and a father- in- law.
-这是件很悲伤的事 -你妻子失去了重要的人 但是 - It's a very sad thing. - Terrible loss for your wife, but. ...
-你爸爸还活着吗 -是的 Your dad's still alive? - Yeah.
-这不就对了 -对 很幸运 There you go. - Yeah, that's a gift.
你知道 这就像如果你有一只狗 你的狗死了 And you know, it's like if you have a dog and your dog dies.
-不好意思 你是说狗吗 -对 一只狗 假设你的狗死了 - I'm sorry, did you say a dog? - Yeah, a dog. Say your dog dies.
这是一样的 很糟糕 That's one thing. That's terrible.
但如果是你朋友的狗死了 情况就不一样了 But if your friend's dog dies, it's not quite the same.
算了 你妻子在吗 洛琳 But anyway, is your wife around? Lorraine?
她在这儿吗 我能跟她谈谈吗 Is she here? Can I talk to her?
也许我们该让她好好休息 Maybe we just let her rest.
你能告诉她我为她爸爸的事感到难过吗 Will you tell her how sorry I am about her dad?
噢是吗 因为你听起来不像难过的样子 Are you? Because it doesn't really sound like it.
私下告诉你 Between you and me,
我的哀悼没有一般人那么深切 my condolences aren't quite as deep as the average person's.
我感觉到了 I'm picking that up.
就像人们告诉对方他们爱他们 那种 It's like people telling each other they love them. That kind of thing.
节哀就属于这一类 它们是一样的 Sorry's in that kind of category. They're the same.
它们是可以互换的 真的 没人是认真的 我爱你 They're interchangeable, really. Nobody means it. I love you.
没人是认真的 人们当然是认真的啊 Nobody means it? Of course people mean it.
没人是认真的 不管怎样 你确定洛琳不在吗 Nobody means it. But, anyway, are you sure Lorraine's not around?
确定 I'm positive.
吃的和别的东西都够吗 Got enough food and everything?
要来点贝果和熏鲑鱼吗 Can I get you some bagels and lox?
-我们应该不用了 -你要贝果吗 - I think we're good. - Do you like a bagel?
这里有很多人 所以我要 There are a lot of people here, so I'm gonna.
我懂了 当然可以 I'm picking up on that cue. Of course.
事实上 拉里 还有一件事 Actually, Larry, there's one thing.
我想跟你谈谈柠檬树的事 I wanted to talk to you about the lemon tree.
-柠檬树 -是的 沿着篱笆那棵 The lemon tree? - Yeah. Along the fence.
就在后面 这些年来 它给我们带来了太多的柠檬 It's back there. It's given us so many lemons over the years.
就是伸进我院子里的那个 The one that hangs over my yard.
树根在破坏我家的管道 The roots, they're damaging my pipes,
所以我们得对这棵树做点什么 so we got to do something about this tree.
不要担心研究怎么办 我会调查的 Don't worry about the research. I'll look into it.
我会估算一下 然后我们坐下来 I'|l get an estimate, we'll sit down,
分摊树的维护费用 and we'll split the cost of the tree maintenance,
我们就可以继续享用柠檬了 and we can keep enjoying these lemons.
分摊树的维护费用 Split the cost of the tree?
杜安 我说 拜托 这可是你的树 它长在你这边 Duane. I mean, you know, come on. It's your tree. It's on your side.
-这是我们的树 -这不是我们的树 It's our tree. - It's not our tree.
我捋捋啊 所以当你想要柠檬的时候 它算我们的树 Let me get this right. So it's our tree when you want lemons,
当我们必须照顾和维护它的时候 它算我的树 and it's my tree when we have to take care of it and maintain it.
我有想要柠檬吗 我不想要柠檬 I want some lemons? I don't want lemons.
你觉得我的生活需要柠檬吗 You think I need lemons in my life?
我可以一辈子都不碰柠檬 I can go the rest of my life without touching a lemon.
-终生不吃柠檬了是吧 -我偶尔会把它放在一块鱼上 No lemons for life. - I put it on a piece of fish.
你要用什么代替柠檬 What're you gonna substitute for lemons?
-葡萄柚 -你要把柚子放在鱼上 ·Agrapefruit. - You're gonna put grapefruit on fish?
-我会把葡萄柚放在鱼上 -什么时候 - I put grapefruits on fish. - When?
我还没放过 但我考虑过 I haven't actually put it on, but I've thought about it.
-真的吗 -真的 Really? - Yeah.
我的意思是柠檬是一种可被替代的柑橘 My point is lemons are a fungible citrus.
环顾一下房间吧 我们正在哀悼 Just look around the room. We've suffered a loss.
你失去了岳父 You lost your father- in- law.
我希望你能挺身而出 做个好邻居 I'd appreciate you stepping up and being a neighbor
为维护这棵树付一半的费用 and paying for half of this tree maintenance.
谢谢你能来 Thank you for coming out.
如果我知道那其实是他的岳父 Had I known that it was his father- in- law,
我根本就不会去他家 I never would've gone to the house in the first place.
还有这个柠檬那事儿 And this lemon thing
顺便说一句 他可是哈莉特·塔布曼的后代 By the way, you know, he's a descendant of Harriet Tubman.
我的祖先肯定会以他为耻 看着他为了这么一件小事斤斤计较 Well, you'd think his ancestors would be ashamed of him.
肯定 柠檬自己会掉下来 我能怎么办 No, the lemons drop. What am I supposed to do?
-把他们扔回栅栏那边去吗 -这人只是名义上姓塔布曼 - Throw'em back over the fence? - This person's a Tubman in name only.
也许他根本不是塔布曼家的人 Maybe he's not even a Tubman.
因为我无法想象一个塔布曼家的人会这样 Cause I can't imagine a Tubman behaving like this.
你知道这有多讽刺吧 你被别人道德绑架了 You know the cruel irony of this, right? You're being railroaded.
-多离谱啊 -你好 It's nutsHello!
-抱歉我们迟到了 -嗨 - Sorry we're late. - Hi.
苏西 我们有东西要给你 Susie, we have something for you.
因为你生日你那天不在 Since you were away on your birthday...
-你要我现在打开吗 -准备好了吗 - You want me to open it now? - Are you ready?
等一下 这里还有其他礼物 Wait a second. There's other presents here.
我知道 但这真的很重要 马上你就会明白了 I know, but this is really important. This'll make sense in one minute.
-我害怕起来了 这是什么 -生日快乐 - I'm scared. What is it? - Happy birthday!
天啊 Oh my God!
他是不是你见过的最可爱的小东西 苏西 Isn't he the cutest thing you've ever seen, Susie?
-他很漂亮 -他爱你 He's beautiful. - He loves you!
好看 Beautiful.
这是我收到过的最好的生日礼物 我爱你们俩 This is the best birthday present I've ever got. I love you two.
你们是我最好的朋友 You're the greatest friends.
-我们也有礼物 -非常感谢 You know, we have a present, too. Thank you so much.
-是什么 -你看 What is it? - Well, look.
-筋膜枪 -什么东西 A Theragun. - What's that?
-拉里给你买的 -谢谢你 拉尔 Larry got it for you. Thank you, Larr.
-你用过这个吗 -我没有 You ever use one of these? - No, I haven't.
-它们对你的健康有好处 -好 我很期待 They're good for your health. - Good. I look forward to it.
顺便说一句 这可是个好礼物 That's a hell of a gift, by the way
我去给他倒点水 他可能渴了 He's probably thirsty.
-他一直待在那个盒子里 -我想要一个筋膜枪 He's been in that box. I'd like a Theragun.
好吃吗 大家都玩得开心吗 So food good? Everybody happy?
这里的食物一如既往地美味 The food is amazing, as always.
弗雷迪 你现在不是素食上义者了吧 -不不 我喜欢这鸡肉 Freddy, you're not vegan now, right? No, no, I like the chicken.
-你看起来棒极了 -你人真好 - You're looking fantastic. - That's so nice of you.
只是上了一些动感单车课 散步 It's just been a little SoulCycle, some walking,
还和我邻居的老婆滚了很多床单 and Ive been having a lot of sex with my neighbor's wife.
是的 我的邻居 哈林顿夫妇 莉迪亚和罗恩 Yes. My neighbors, the Harringtons, Lydia and Ron.
她想要个孩了 She wants to have a baby.
结果罗恩不育 她怀不上 Turns out Ron is not capable. She can't get pregnant.
全是空包弹 空包弹 Blanks. Shooting blanks.
对 所以他们说“弗雷迪 我们希望你能让莉迪亚怀孕” So they say, "Freddy, we would love it if you could get Lydia pregnant. "
-扯淡吧你 -等等 Get out of here. - Hold on.
他们认为 如果是带着感情性交的话 They think the baby's going to be healthier if there's really a connection
孩子会更健康 that happens during intercourse.
-我简直不敢相信 -然后更奇怪了 I can't even believe it. - This gets weirder.
所以我说“好的”他们说“太棒了今晚就开始怎么样 So I say, "Yes. "They say, "Terrific. How's tonight work?
“她今晚排卵”他们对我说的是 "She's ovulating tonight. "And what they say to me is:
“是这样的”他们想要一些边界感 "Here's how it's gonna work. "They want boundaries.
保持疏离 但你猜怎么了 Keep it kind of clinical. But guess what happens?
怎么了 What happens?
当干柴烈火烧起来的时候 定的规矩早就忘了 When the shit gets lit up, there's no goddamn rules.
她一进门 我们就开始了 She comes in the door, and it's on,
我说 我们就在我放克-奥-马蒂克大街那套房子里做 And I mean, we do it at my house on the Funk- O- Matic.
我们吃屁股舔耳朵 We're biting butts. We're biting the ears.
我真的服了 This is fucking crazy.
这是我这辈子最爽的性爱了 It's some of the best sex I've ever had in my life.
-并且她爱她的丈夫吗 -她百分之百地爱着她丈夫 And she loves her husband? - She's 100%in love with her husband.
-你给她高潮了吗 -我不知道 Do you give her a climax? Well, I don't know.
-你怎么会不知道 -我没问 How would you not know? - I don't ask.
你闻到麝香味了吗 你释放的气味对受孕很有帮助 Do you smell musk? The sex musk you release is great for conception.
我放的味道可多了 是吧 拉里 I release a lot of sex musk. Don't I, Larry?
小狗 我家小宝呢 Puppy! Where's my little boy?
我要祝酒 我不介意我喝的是无洒精鸡尾酒 I'm gonna, make a toast here. I don't mind I have a mocktail.
-因为我戒酒了 -为此干杯 Because I'm sober. - And cheers to that.
-你想喝一口吗 -谢谢您 You want a sip? - Very funny.
哦 我的天哪 Oh my goodness.
好吧 我决定给他取什么名字了 Okay, so I decided what we're gonna name him.
-弗兰基 取自辛纳屈 -那是个小公狗吗 Frankie, after Sinatra. - That's a boy?
是的 It's a little boy.
我得说 作为一只公狗 它看起来有点母 I got to say, for a male dog, it looks a tad effeminate.
天啊 得了吧 Oh my God. Come on.
我觉得你最好给那只狗整个狗称代词 I think you better get that dog a pronoun,
好了 特洛伊 我们要练习三个步骤 Okay, Troy, three steps we're going to work on,
首先 后挥拍时的旋转 回到目标 很好 First, rotation on the backswing. Back to the target. Beautiful
好的 这是第一部分 Okay, that's the first piece.
第二段 同样的旋转 后摆 Second piece, same rotation, that backswing.
举到顶 然后停 漂亮 Up to the top and stop Nice
好了 这是最重要的一步 Okay, now here's the master move, okay?
下一部分 从这里开始 垂直往下 好吧 Next piece, from there, we go vertical drop. Okay?
水平地过来 很好 你能感觉到这里的腹斜肌用力吗 Horizontal tug. Nice. Can you feel it with the obliques there?
再来一次 一直到顶 One more time. Up to the top.
感受旋转 垂直下降 Feel the rotation. Vertical drop.
水平送杆 Horizontal tug.
嗨 有什么事吗 Hey. Can I help you?
算了 我没事 Nah, Im good.
我在这里给特洛伊上私教课 I got a private lesson with Troy here.
嗯 嗯 继续 Yeah, yeah. Go.
如果你想预定课程 就给高尔夫球店打电话 If you want to book a lesson, just call the golf shop.
他们会很乐意为你安排的 They'll be happy to set something up for you.
不 我不用 我就在这儿坐坐 Nah, Im good. Im just sitting here.
不 我不用 我就在这儿坐坐 Nah, I'm good. I'm just sitting here.
你不像只是坐坐的样子 我看到了垂直下降 水平送杆 I saw the vertical drop, horizontal tug.
这里有一张长凳 坐在长凳上又不犯法 There's a bench here. I'm allowed to sit on arbench.
-这不是那种长凳 -那这是什么长凳 It's not that kind of bench. - What kind of bench is it?
这不是一个休闹长凳 好吗 这是一个装饰长凳 It's not a lingering bench, okay? lt's an aesthetic bench.
装饰长凳 长凳是用来坐的 An aesthetic bench? No. Benches are for sitting.
我们要继续上课了 如果你不介意的话 We're gonna get back to the lesson, if you don't mind.
我们再试一次 旋转 Let's try it again. The rotation.
好的 保持脊柱这个角度 现在垂直下降 水平送杆 Okay, stay in your spine angle. Now vertical drop, horizontal tuck.
没错 这样就对了 好 再试一次 总之动作连贯 Yeah, there it is. Okay, let's try one. Altogether, one piece.
我今天又玩了一次字谜游戏 我就是字谜滴神 I did Wordle again today. I'm a Wordle wizard, man.
我三次就中了 已经连续三天了伙计 I did it in three tries. That's three days in a row, man.
你状态真不错啊 Wow, you're really on a good streak.
我疯狂连胜 没错 I'm on a huge streak. That's right.
好吧 看看我能不能继续我的连胜 AlI right, let's see if I can continue my streak.
你好牛 到底为什么 你是怎么做到的 You've been unbelievable. What is this all about? How are you doing this?
今天早上我坐在长凳上 无意中听了一节课 I sat on a bench this morning and overheard a lesson.
我上过几千小时的课 I've had thousands of hours of lessons.
就在长那凳上坐了两分钟 这个人颠覆了我的生活 Two minutes on that bench. This guy changed my life.
-学到什么了 -垂直下降 What kind of tips? - Vertical drop.
水平送杆 垂直下降 水平送杆 Horizontal tug! Vertical drop, horizontal tugl
我以前下降 但我从来没这样水平送杆过 Now, I've dropped before, but I've never tugged!
-现在我送起来了 -也许我也应该送一下 And now I'm tugging! - Maybe I should tug.
-你能教我怎么送吗 -我来教你怎么送 Can you teach me how to tug? - I'll teach you how to tugl
-太棒了 -我能告诉你一件事吗 This is fantastic. - Can I tell you something?
我觉得这是我这辈子最开心的时候 I think this is the happiest I've ever been in my life!
我都不知道我现在看到的是谁了 I don't even know who I'm looking at right now.
怎么会有好事发生在我身上啊 How is something good happening to me?
这世上没人会相信你很幸福 No one on the planet would believe that you're happy.
这怎么可能呢 How is this possible?
我有更好的消息要告诉你 我要你写进我的遗嘱里 I have better news for you. I'm leaving you in my will,
-我在调整 把你加里面 -别这样 I'm tweaking it, and you're in it. - Don't do that.
已经搞定了 把你加进去了 It's done. You're in.
我有钱 我不需要 把它留给需要它的人 Ihave money. Idon't need it. Give it to someone who needs it.
当我死的时候 我想让你知道我有多在乎你 When I die, I want you to know how much I cared about you.
我不会留着的 我要捐给慈善机构 I'm not gonna keep it. I'm gonna give it to charity.
你是我最好的朋友 我就要给你 You're my best friend. You're getting it.
我现在正就遗嘱发表谢尔曼式的声明 I'm making a Shermanesque statement about the will right now.
我讨厌你引用历史 I'm sick of your historical references.
如果被提名 我不会参选 如果遗赠 我不会接受 If nominated, I will not run. If bequeathed, I will not accept.
-我就要遗赠 -我不接受 Well, I'm bequeathing. - Well, I'm not accepting.
-好吧 你必须接受 -别给我 Well, you'll have to accept. - Don't give it to mel
-别伤害我的感情 -我一分钱都不会收下 Don't hurt my feelings. - I'm not gonna keep a penny of it.
-你上我心了 -谢谢 但我不想要 You're hurting me. - Thank you, but I don't want it.
-我还是要给你 -服了 滚蛋吧 I'm giving it to you anyway, pal. Oh my God. Fuck you!
你在干什么 What are you doing?
你这是什么意思 我在等着呢 What do you mean? I'm waiting.
等什么 For what?
特洛伊和吉米在球道上 Troy and Jimmy are on the fairway.
-你绝对打不到他们的 -你觉得我打不到他们吗 You're never gonna hit them. - You don't think I could hit them?
不觉得 你这辈子都没把球打那么远过 得了吧 No! You've never hit the ball that far in your life. Come on.
真的吗 Really?
你打不了那么远的 干什么 你疯了吗 You're never gonna hit it that far. What, are you nuts?
好了 闭嘴 AlI right, shut up.
不 你闭嘴 No, you shut up.
-好家伙 -你打到他了 Holy shit! You hit him.
-我打到他了 -特洛伊 你没事吧 I hit him! Troy, you okay?
-天啊 -你怎么做到的 Oh my Godl How did you do that?
嘿 搞什么啊 Hey! What the fuck?
-我告诉过你我不该 -拉里 I told you 〔shouldn't fuckingLarry!
特洛伊 你还好吗 慢慢来 慢点 Troy, are you okay? Slowly. Take it easy.
天啊 哦 上帝啊 我很抱歉 Oh my God. Oh God. I'm so sorry.
你千什么啊 What in the hell?
我不知道发生了什么 我很抱歉 I don't know what happened. I'm so sorry.
你为什么不喊“看球” Why didn't you yell, "fore"?
我不能喊“看球”我是说 他听不见啊 I couldn't yell, "fore". I mean, he can't hear.
那有什么意义呢 我挥了手的 我挥了很多次手 And what would be the point? I waved. I did a lot of waving.
你说话时 他的手语翻译可以听到的 When you talk, the interpreter can hear you.
我知道 但他太远了 他在车里 I know, but he was too far. He was in the car.
我们可以跑到树林里去啊 We could have ran to the trees!
没有时间了 球要下来了 There was no timel The ball was coming down!
我跟你说了多少遍了打球之前要喊一嗓子
就算是超人也不能及时赶到阻止这一切 Superman couldn't get there in time to stop that.
那你可以等啊 你为什么不等呢 Why didn't you wait?
因为和我一起打球的人 他们说 上上上 Because the guys I was playing with, they said, "go, go, go".
他们让我难堪 他们说 你肯定打不中他 They embarrassed me. They said, "Oh, you can never hit him. "
你有用垂直下降和水平送杆吗 Did you do the vertical drop, horizontal tug?
用了啊 我用了垂直下落和水平送杆 Yeah, I did it. I did the vertical drop and the horizontal tug.
这真的很有用 看我把球打了多远 我简直不敢相信 It really worked. Look how far I hit the ball. I couldn't even believe it.
-我盯着你呢 -盯着我 真的吗 I'm watching you. - Watching me? Really?
没什么可看的 我也不怎么挪窝 There's not much to watch. I don't really go anywhere.
我大部分时间都在家 我会玩填字游戏 I'm home most of the time. I'll do a crossword puzzle.
有时我会出去吃饭 我讨厌我的生活 Sometimes Ill go out to dinner. I hate my life.
你不会想盯着我的 You don't want to witness it.
你真是个混蛋 You're a real asshole.
对于发生的一切 我深感抱歉 I am so deeply and profoundly sorry for what happened.
我真的很想补偿你 I really want to make it up to you somehow.
我给你请一顿外卖晚餐 我会买一份送到你家 Let me get you a Postmates dinner. I'll send one to your house.
你想要吗 外卖软件上有很多不错的外卖呢 Would you like that? There's some very good restaurants on Postmates.
我会让他们直接送到你家门口 你做了什么 I'll have it delivered right to your door. What did you do?
-你把我说的话告诉他了吗 -都说了 Did you tell him what I just said? - Everything.
-你告诉他点外卖的事儿了吗 -说了 Did you tell him about the Postmates dinner?
你就像这样比划了一下 你什么都没做 You just went like this. You didn't do anything.
-这就是外卖的手语 -你就只花了两秒钟 That's the sign. - It took two seconds.
-我是个好翻译 -你没告诉他点外卖的事 I'm good. You didn't tell him.
别跟我胡扯 你为什么不告诉他给他点外卖的事 Don't bullshit me. Why didn't you tell him about the Postmates dinner?
-我说了的 -那样道歉难道不得体吗 That's a very nice gesturel
你说你真的非常 非常抱歉 然后问他可以给他点外卖吗 Deeply and profoundly sorry, and you offer him Postmates?
你很清楚他没有告诉他外卖的事 You know he didn't tell him about the Postmates!
-他告诉他了 -那我的球呢 He told him. - Where's my ball?
我不知道 I don't know.
-你不知道 -我不知道 You don't know? - I don't know.
刚刚就在那儿打到他后背的 It hit him in the back right over herel
-塞你屁眼里了 拉里 -球在哪里 It's up your ass, Larry! Where's the ball?
-你拿了我的球吗 -回发球台 再打一个球 You took my ball? Go back to the tee, hit another ball!
两杆罚杆 Two stroke penalty!
我就把球放这里 刚刚打到人这个位置 I'm gonna just drop it over here Ill drop it where the body was.
规则里面有写的 我告诉你 我是不会被罚杆的 That's in the rules. I'm not gonna take a penalty, I'll tell you that.
我不会被罚杆的 我就在这里击球 I'm not taking a penalty. I hit the ball over here.
我命中了人生中最棒的一球 我就在这里打 I hit one of the great shots of my life. I'm playing from here.
他们把我的球扔了 我得在这里抛球 They threw my ball away. I got to take a drop.
-不许抛球 兄弟 -你不能抛球 No dropping, man. You can't take a drop.
-他们把我的球扔了 -因为你打到人了 They threw my ball away! - You hit somebody!
他没事啊 听着 我抛球了 He's okay Listen, I'm dropping a ball.
在我们眼皮底下 你才不会抛球 Not on our watch you're dropping a ball.
我才不回发球台 I'm not going back to the teel
-那是什么 -我操 What the fuck was that? - Holy shit.
-听起来像郊狼 -就是一只郊狼 它们可是杀手 伙计 - It sounds like a coyote. - It is a coyote. They're killers, man.
听起来他像是在吃狗 Sounds like he's eating a dog.
杰夫 你不是住在那附近吗 Jeff, don't you live around there?
那就是我家 That is my house.
天啊 那可能是我的小狗呢 Oh my God! That could be my puppy!
你知道吗 拉尔 我得回家了 You know what, Larr? i got to go home.
-什么 -那可能是我的狗 What? - That could be my dog!
-你的邻居有狗吗 -有啊 附近有几只狗 Does your neighbor have a dog? - Yeah, there's a few dogs around
也许是你邻居的狗呢 So maybe one of your neighbors'dogs.
听起来像小狗的叫声 That sounded like a puppy.
如果他已经被吃掉了 你也没什么能做的 If he's eaten, there's nothing you can do about it.
如果他已经死了 你要怎么办 就地超度吗 And if he's dead, what are you gonna do, sit Shiva?
那也不能让狗起死回生 Can't bring the dog back to life.
但那可是一只小狗狗 We're talking about a puppy.
我知道 但我们在高尔夫球场 我们今天过得很愉快 I know, but we're on the golf course, we're having a nice day.
-一会儿你就知道了 -你知道他是对的 You'll see it later. - You know he's right.
如果不是 回家也没什么用 我们继续打球吧 And if it's not, there's nothing to be gained by going home. Let's just play.
算了 你说得对 You know what? You're right.
要么是我的小狗死了 要么是邻居家的狗 Either my puppy's dead or it's a neighbor's dog.
无论如何你都无能为力 Nothing you could do either way.
好吧 我继续打 AlI right, I'll play.
-我要抛球了 -你不许抛球 Well, I'm dropping. - You're not dropping.
-我就要 -你不许抛球 I'm dropping. You are not dropping the ball!
-去你的 我要把球抛了 -你作弊 Fuck you! I'm dropping the ball. - You're a cheater!
-不 你作弊 -你作弊 No, you're a cheater You're a cheater!
那十五道那个球呢 怎么样 How about the drive on 15? What about that, huh?
-弗兰基 -看 Frankie! Look at this!
-什么 -他还活着 What? - He's alive!
他当然还活着 他难道还能死了不成 Of course he's alive. Why would he not be alive?
-是这样 我们正在打人生中最精彩的一局比赛 -然后 We're having the game of our lives,
然后我们听到了郊狼的叫声 然后是一声尖叫 and we hear a coyote and then a yelp.
-我们听到了郊狼的叫声 -太离谱了 - We heard a coyote. - It was crazy.
我们以为是郊狼把狗吃了 We thought the coyote ate the dog!
你觉得是弗兰基被吃了吗 You thought it was Frankie?
-对啊 -那你做了什么没 Yeah! - So what did you do?
怎么 你就继续打球吗 What, you continued to play?
-对 -你就没想着过来看看他有没有出事吗 Yeah. - You didn t come to see if he was okay?
我们就以为 就是 他 We just assumed that, you know, he was...
死了 如果他死了 我们还能怎么办 Dead. And if he's dead, what can we do?
这个小狗狗 这个小可爱死了 This little boy, this little beautiful, little creature is dead,
你还继续打球 你俩真是个没良心的混蛋 and you continue to play? What kind of heartless pieces of shit are you?
我们想到了那只小狗 它大概已经死了 We thought about the puppy and how the puppy was dead,
然后我们想到了高尔夫 高尔夫就在眼前 and we thought about golf, and golf was there.
我们又能做什么呢 没有什么可做的 What could we do? There's nothing to do.
那我呢 你没想过我在家里看到 Well, what about me? You didn't think about how I was feeling at home
郊狼把我宝贝狗子吃了的感受吗 with the coyote eating my boy?
我必须承认 我们没想过你 I must admit, you didn't come into our heads.
真的吗 你真是自私到了极点 Really? You are about as selfish as they come.
还有你 拉里 你没心肝 And you, Larry, you have no heart.
你这个没心没肺的 万一郊狼把我咬成重伤了怎么办 You have no soul. What if I was maimed by a coyote?
那你会怎么做 你还会继续玩吗 What would you do then, huh? Would you continue playing?
当然 我会给你比给狗更多的关心 Certainly, I would give you more consideration than I gave the dog.
但最终 我想我还是会继续打球 But ultimately, I think I'd play through.
算了 滚出去 你让我恶心 You know what? Get the fuck out. You disgust me.
死都死了你还能做什么 他们都死了 What do you do after a person's dead? They're dead!
永远不许碰这只狗 想这只狗 看这只狗 Don't ever touch this dog, think of this dog, look at this dog!
有狗没狗对我来说没差 No loss to me to not be involved with your dog.
我不在乎 这根本不算惩罚 Don't care. That's no punishment at all.
-滚出去 -好吧 我滚 Get outl Okay, I'll leave.
-滚出去 -好吧 我滚 Get out! Okay, I'll leave.
但是容我辩解一句 我很少会因为 But in my defense, let me just say there are very few people I'd leave
别人死了就不打高尔夫 死的是你也不行 the golf course for if I found out they died. Even you!
-真的吗 -主要看我当时手感如何 Really? - Well depends how I'm playing.
来了 Coming!
-嘿 拉里 -你好 杜安 Hey, Larry. - Hello, Duane.
抱歉打扰了 我拿到了维护柠檬树的估价 Sorry to barge in but got the estimate for the tree service.
如果你有时间 我想和你谈谈 If you got a minufe, I'd like to talk about it.
-是的 请进 -谢谢 Yeah. Come on in. - Thanks.
你们感觉怎么样 So, how you feeling?
我们正在慢慢好起来 We're healing. Slowly.
从那以后你有笑过吗 Have you had any laughs at all since?
在过去的48小时内吗 没有 家里没有太多欢声笑语 In the last 48 hours? No, not a whole lot of laughter in the house.
我只是好奇啊 我的意思是 如果有人讲了一个笑话 Just curious. I mean, if somebody told a joke,
你认为你笑得出来吗 do you think you have the capacity to laugh?
我想这要取决于笑话的内容 拉里 I guess it would depend on the joke, Larry.
所以好笑的笑话你会笑 So a funny joke could make you laugh.
并在痛苦的时候提供一些暂时的缓解 And provide some temporary relief in a very painful time.
懂了 好的 我就是好奇 Got it. Okay. Just curious.
所以发票 我从树木维护中心拿到了发票 So the invoice. I got the invoice from the tree service.
他们不得不把树桩也移走 They had to remove the stump too.
如果我们各付一半就好了 If we could just split that down the middle.
好了 别这样 杜安 Okay, come on. Duane.
-他们不得不把树桩移走 -2700块啊 They had to remove the stump. - 2, 700?
我一个月才吃你几个柠檬 For eating a couple of lemons a month?
这就是砍掉一棵树的花费 And that's how much it costs to get rid of a tree.
杜安 我得告诉你件事 Duane, I got to tell you something, okay?
这是非常不像塔布曼的行为 This is very un- Tubman- like behavior.
这是你第二次说什么塔布曼不塔布曼的 你到底什么意思 That's the second time with Tubmans. I don't know what you mean.
我不认为你的姑婆哈莉特会容忍这种事 I don't think that your great Aunt Harriet would condone this.
那她会容忍哪种事 So what kind of person was she, Larry?
她是那种把奴隶从南方走私到北方 Well, she was the kind of person who smuggled slaves from the South
却不收手续费的人 to the North and didn't charge them.
真的吗 Really?
你知道哈莉特·塔布曼会怎么做吗 You know what Harriet Tubman would have done?
她会带着一大篮子柠檬来我家 She would have come over to my house with a big basket of lemons.
“拉里 亲爱的 你要多少柠檬就拿多少柠檬吧”然后我就会说 "Larry, darling, take as many lemons as you'd like. "I'd go,
哈莉特 它们已经在往我院子掉了 我不需要这么多 "Harriet, they're dropping into the yard. I don't need it. "
谢谢你教育我我家祖先是哪种人 This has been a real education for me on my own ancestry.
这是里昂 你认识我们的邻居杜安吗 This is Leon. You know Duane, our neighbor?
-你好啊 老杜 -你好啊 兄弟 What's up, D? - How you doing, brother?
-这么快就称兄道弟了噢 -对没错 He gets a"brother" right away, huh?
你遇到的每一个黑人 你都跟人家称兄道弟吗 Every Black person you meet, you say"brother"to?
你就直接说兄弟 然后这样示意一下吗 You say"brother" and you give him one of those right there.
-你也是吗 -恭敬点头 You too? - Respectful nod.
-点头就像我们的“阿罗哈” -我都没有犹太版点头 A nod is like our"aloha". - I don't do a Jew nod.
你们已经有那首歌了《嗨 犹太伙计》 You guys got that song already, "Hey, Jew".
那首歌是《嗨 裘德》不是犹 That's Hey Jude with a D. J- U- D- E.
不管怎样 杜安 我们进行一下友好的成人对话吧 Anyway, Duane, let's have a neighborly adult discussion about this.
我想做正确的事 我付不起这么多钱 I want to do the right thing here. I can't possibly pay all this.
-有的账单我是不可能付的 -因为得用粉碎机什么的 There's some charges here that I just can't possibly go along with.
这看起来太过分了 这样不对 这不是我的树 It just seems very excessive. It's not right. It's not my tree.
我想我是个公平的人 我是个公平的人吗 I'd like to think I'm a fair man. Am I a fair man?
-这是个公平的人 -我这么做的是对的 不是吗 - This is a fair man right here. - l do the right thing, don't I?
所见即所得 What you see is what the fuck you get.
好吧 别担心 我来 我自己出去 Okay, don't worry about it. I got it. I'll see myself out.
-你是说我不用付钱吗 -不 你不需要 You mean I don't have to pay? - No, you do not.
-那是为什么啊 -我不知道 -真奇妙 What the hell was that? That was amazing.
我好兄弟直接就从这里跑出去了 My boy just ran out of here.
天啊 不 不要 Oh my God! No, no!
果然在那儿 他看见了 There they arel He saw it!
所以他才冲出去 他看到你蛋蛋了 That's why he rushed out of herel He saw your boysl
那些对干瘪的小怪物帮我省了1350美元 Those withered grotesqueries just saved me 1, 350 dollars!
他吓疯了 跑了 我什么钱都不用付 He lost his mind! He left! I don't have to pay anything!
这太糟了 所有黑人蛋都是这样的啊 That's fucked up. All Black balls are like this.
谢谢你 也谢谢你俩 Thank you. And thank you!
我的蛋蛋说 不用谢 My balls said, "You're welcome"
他坐在沙发扶手上 蛋蛋露在外面 And he sits on the arm of the couch, and his balls are hanging out.
这家伙完全受不了 然后就跑了 And the guy got so discombobulated and takes off.
我的蛋蛋及时赶到 拯救了世界 My balls showed up and saved the fucking day.
这倒提醒了我 还记得那个莉迪亚吗 That reminds me. Remember that girl Lydia,
我帮的那个邻居 the neighbor that I'm helping out?
她正在排卵期 坏消息是 我得去沙斯塔办事儿 She is ovulating. And the bad news, though, is I have to go up to Shasta.
我的床垫出了紧急情况 所以我最近不在 I got a mattress emergency, so I'm not gonna be able to be in town.
但她问我认不认识什么合适的人 But she's asking if I know anybody
你们有人愿意帮帮我的邻居吗 Any of you guys willing to step in and help my neighbor out,
在她需要受孕的时候帮帮她 being there for her for her pregnancy needs?
-真的吗 -你开玩笑吧 Seriously? - You're kidding.
我们本来在坐冷板凳 你开始派替补上场 We're on the bench and you're sending a reliever?
你们想见见她吗 这就是 You guys want to see her? Here she is.
-真美 -让我看看 嗯 我肯定愿意上 Beautiful. - Let me see that. Yeah, I'd hit that.
-她太棒了 我加入 -就你 你能有几个活的精子 She's fabulous. And I'm in. - What do you got, three sperm?
你就算在接下来的15年里一直和她做爱 You can have intercourse with her for the next 15 years.
你都不可能让她怀孕的 There's no way you're ever going to impregnate her.
我赌一千块 我的精子比你多 I'll bet you 1, 000 dollars I got more sperm than you.
你的精子比我多 做梦梦到的吧 You got more sperm than me? In your dreams.
我的精子多得能把你埋了 And I will bury you with my sperm.
唯一的问题是你们不能用老年人那奶粉形式的老精子 The only problem is you can't get someone pregnant on old- ass sperm
让人怀孕 when it's in powdered milk form.
-好吧 我不干了 里昂 -我来 I'm out, Leon. Ill tap that.
昂要来 让我在这里拍个视频 等一等 我要把这个发给她 Leon's in. Let me get a video here. Hold on. I'm gonna send her this.
弄个简单快捷的 开始吧 准备好了吗 好 Make it simple and make it quick. Here we go. Ready? All right.
我是里昂·布莱克 你知道这是什么意思 I'm Leon Black You know what it is.
我很期待拍到你那翘臀 希望你准备好了 I'm looking forward to tapping that ass. Hope you ready.
如果你碰巧怀孕了 那就算是额外的奖励 怎么样 And if you happen to get pregnant, that's a bonus. How about that?
对 接下来就是这样 Yeah, that's what's gonna- happen.
好了 好了 让我们看看她怎么说 AII right, there you go. Let's see what she says.
所以只要送三到四个康垫过来 就行了 So just deliver about three or four mattresses,
把它们放在房子前面 put'em in front of the house.
这样当我用坏一个 打开一个新床垫 That way when I wear one out, open a new mattress,
就能直接放到位 put that shit down, too.
是啊 你需要很长的跑道才能让飞机降落 我明白的 Yeah, you got to have a lot of runway to land the plane. I understand.
好 她回我了 天啊 真快 Okay, she got back to me. Boy, that was quick.
她答应了里昂·布莱克先生 And she said yes to Mr. Leon Black.
-当然 -恭喜你 Fuck yeah. Congratulations.
嘿 搞笑男 Hey, funny guy,
当你用高尔夫球打特洛伊的时候 你没有说“看球“ when you hit Troy with golf ball, you didn't say"fore".
-我挥了挥手 -挥手是什么意思 I waved. Wave means what?
你好 再见的意思 Hello. Goodbye.
但它的意思并不是“我要用高尔夫球打你了“ But it doesn't mean"I'm going to hit you with a golf ball".
但他是个聋子 他听不见 那我能怎么办 But he's deaf He can t hear What was I supposed to do?
还有 你为什么要偷听吉米的课 And also, why you steal a lesson from Jimmy?
我没有偷听吉米的课 I didn't steal a lesson from Jimmy.
那是因为你的高尔夫球技太烂了 听什么课都没用 It's because your golf is so terrible nothing can help. Huh?
-很库塞 -库塞是什么意思 - It's kusai. - Kusai? What is that?
-很库塞 -库塞是什么意思 It's kusai. Kusai? What is that?
很臭的意思 Stinky.
再犯一个错误 你就出局了 One more mistake and you're out.
好好享受 Enjoy.
原来如此（日语） Sou desu ka,
你说啥 What?
-嘿 这是什么 -什么 Hey, what is this? What?
看看这个 他们用绳子把长凳拴起来了 Look at this. They roped off the bench.
授课时禁止坐人 看看这个他们用绳子把长凳拴起来了 Look at this. They roped off the bench.
-是因为你吗 -是的 Because of you? Yeah
授课时禁止坐人 混蛋 居然拂我面子 "Sitting prohibited during lessons"? What an asshole! I got roped!
确实 You did get roped.
-我真倒霉 -至少你会打球了 Oh, do I suck. - At least you putted out.
我受够了这个游戏 真是浪费时间 So sick of this game. What a waste of timel
顺便问一下 我的遗嘱 这周我要去见一个房地产律师 By the way, my will? I'm going to see an estate attorney this week,
所以你会被包括进去的 都安排好了 so you'll be covered. You're set.
你知道吗 我开始明白这是怎么回事了 You know, it's kind of starting to dawn on me what's going on.
你在说什么 What are you talking about?
你把我写进你的遗嘱 因为你想让我把你写进我的遗嘱 You're putting me in your will cause you want me to put you in my wijl,
-你是羊癫疯了吗 -是这样吗 Are you out of your fucking mind? - Is that right?
我会那么肤浅 那么控制欲强 那么阴险吗 Would I be that shallow and that manipulative and clandestine?
-当然会啊 -放屁 Yes, you would. Yeah. - That's bullshit.
-这真是我的低谷 -你就从没这么想过吗 This is a low point. - It never occurred to you?
既然你提到了 那就说得通了 Now that you mention it, it sort of makes sense.
你给我什么 我就给你什么 怎么样 I'll give you the same that you give me. How's that?
我会说我们用百分比来定 I'd say we do percentages.
顺便说一句 你凭什么觉得我会比你先死 And by the way, what makes you think that I'm gonna die before you?
你现在有点出老态 我的身体状况比你好一点 You're a little ragged right now. I'm in a little better shape than you.
我会比你多活20年 I'm gonna outlive you by 20 years.
我的健身教练要搬来和我一起住 My trainer is gonna move in with me.
我一到家 就去请个营养师 As soon as I get home, I'm gonna hire a nutritionist,
找个针灸师 按摩师 I'm gonna get an acupuncturist, a masseuse.
我下半辈子都不吃甜甜圈了 因为我想活得比你久 I will not have a donut for the rest of my life, cause I wanna outlive you.
你知道吧 糖分 You know what? Sugar.
你这这混蛋 你把字谜说出来了 你真不是东西 这太低级了 You cocksucker. You gave away Wordle? You fuck. That's so low.
-你活该 -你让我恶心 You deserve it. - You sicken me.
Zd I'm gonna be waking up at five o'clock every morning and giving Wordle away 我以后要每天早上五点起床把字谜都解出来
你这辈子都做不了字谜了 You'll never do another Wordle for the rest of your life.
我会每天早上四点起康 毁了你的计划 I'll wake up at four every morning and ruin it for you.
-我会打电话给我在纽约的朋友 -我会打电话给我在伦敦的朋友 I'llcall my friend in New Yorkl I'll call my friend in London!
我在以色列还有个朋友 你觉得怎么样 I got a friend in Israel! What do you think about that?
我的朋友住在赤道上 My friend lives on the equator!
那么你觉得大家犯的最常见的错是什么呢 So what do you feel like's been the common miss?
我只是觉得我用的都是肌肉 没有技巧 I just feel like I'm using all muscle, no technique.
我一直都是用臀部来发力 对吧 I'm leading with the hips like I'm always doing, right?
把头低下来算是最糟糕的建议了 That's the worst advice ever to keep your head down.
你得放开你的头 好吧 还有胯 You got to release the head, okay? Then the hips.
然后再去想别的 好吧 Everything comes after that, all right?
然后放松 举到最顶上 Soften it all up, and we're gonna take it up to the top.
然后是头 你看什么呢 And then with the head. What are you looking at?
真是不敢相信 拉里 我看见你在里面了 Unbelievable. Larry, I see you in there.
-什么 -你又在偷师学艺 What? - Stealing another lesson!
我没有偷师学艺 我在上厕所 I'm not stealing a lesson, I'm using the bathroom!
真是个诡计多端的高手 Just a master of deception and subterfuge.
我先进来的 我都不知道你在说什么 I was here first! I don't even know what you're talking about!
对 你先来的 是因为你在准备偷学 Yeah, you're here first 'cause you're creeping and peeping!
你现在欠我两节课 You owe me two lessons.
这才不算一节课呢 怎么 你上课就教人抬头吗 And that's not even a lesson! What, are you telling him to pick his head up?
所有人都说要低头 Everybody says to put their head down.
头要放松 You got to release the head.
谁打球不看球啊 傻屌 Who doesn't look at the ball, you fucking idiot
我要告诉高桥先生 Mr. Takahashi's going to hear about this one.
说呗 我又不在乎 Tell him. I don't give a shit.
出去吧 Let's get out of here.
别看球 无语 傻屌 "Don't look at the balll"Give me a break! Moronl
他真的好可爱哦 谢里尔 Is he the cutest, Cheryl?
我给他定做的 开着呢 I had it custom made. It's open!
-他拉屎了 -他的屎好好看 He's pooping? - His poops are gorgeous.
是我见过形状最好看的屎 I mean, the most beautifully formed poops.
-嘿拉里 好呀 -嘿拉里 Hey, Larr. What's up?
我来用用筋膜枪 用了新的挥杆动作后腹股沟伤了 Came to use the Theragun. I injured my groin with this new swing.
-啥 -筋膜枪 我给你的生日礼物 The what? The Theragun. My birthday gift?
在这下面 你上次放在这儿就没动过 It's down right where you left it last time.
他真是个天才 真的 So he's some kind of genius or something, I'm not kidding.
-这狗智商高得很 -谁能分清他和爱因斯坦呢 The dog has such a high IQ. - He's a regular Einstein.
谢里尔阿姨和泰德叔叔 他确实是个聪明的狗狗 Auntie Cheryl and Uncle Ted. He is a smart puppy.
-天呢 这玩意儿太好了 舒服多了 -你干嘛呢 Oh my God, this thing is fantastic. What a relief.
-这种事情还是私下做比较好吧 -是啊 Isn't that something you should be doing in private?
我穿着裤子呢 你们什么意思 I got pants on. What are you talking about?
弗兰基 怎么啦 你吓着他了 Frankie, what's the matter? That's scaring him.
-喂 闭上你的狗嘴 -不准这么说我的狗 Hey, shut the fuck up. - Don't you talk to my dog that way!
但我感觉好多了 放松了 But it's already getting better. I feel it loosening up.
-行吧 挺好的 -你要试试吗 ·AII right, good for you. - You want to try it?
-不 拿开 -你要试试吗 No. Get that away from me. - You wanna try it?
你刚用这东西按摩了你的蛋 不了哈 You just rubbed it on your balls. No, thank you.
像你这样的老男人 就得用用这个 真的很舒服 Hey, an old man like you, you should be using this. It's really good.
那什么 我们听说了你在高尔夫球场上 You know, we heard about you on the golf course,
听到郊狼嚎叫声但没回来看弗兰基的事情了 with the coyote and Frankie thing.
所以呢 又不是我的狗 我在打高尔夫 我想打完那一局 So? It's not my dog. I was playing golf. I wanted to finish the round.
太自私了吧 That's so selfish.
不然要我怎么样 给狗做人工呼吸哦 What was I gonna do, give the dog mouth to mouth resuscitation?
你可以先暂停球局 回来确认狗的情况 Well, you could stop golfing and make sure the dog is alive.
是个人都会这么做吧 That's like what a human being would do.
我要怎么做 去参加他的葬礼哦 我真是搞不懂 What am I supposed to do, go to his funeral? I mean, I don't understand.
我觉得你就是想弗兰基死掉 因为你嫉妒了 I think you were hoping that Frankie was dead because you were jealous.
疯了吧 我希望狗死掉 That's lunacy. "I hope the dog is dead.
我会在乎一条傻狗 What do I give a shit about a dumb little dog?
你嫉妒是因为我们送了一份有意义的礼物给苏茜 You're jealous because we gave Susie a gift that means something to her,
而你送了一把破大腿电钻子 and you gave that stupid thigh jackhammer.
-不是吧 -我们聊天的时候就关掉吧 - I mean, really? - Turn that off while we're talking.
要弄去厕所弄 Go to the bathroom and do it.
你总是要做众人的焦点 You always have to be the center of attention, man.
众人的焦点 我不明白 Center of attention? I don't understand.
亚特兰大 拜托 你真不明白 Atlanta. Come on. Really?
你知道我怎么想的吗 You know what I think?
我觉得你是嫉妒我了 因为在亚特兰大被逮捕的人是我 I think you're jealous that I'm the one who got arrested in Atlanta
出尽了风头 and I'm getting all this attention.
你知道吗 对 我嫉妒了 You know what? Yeah, I am jealous.
-我就知道 -你知道为什么吗 Yeah, I know you are. You know why?
被逮捕的应该是我 I should have been the one who was arrested
因为我把它用作为民众谋福利的平台 because I use it as a platform for the good of the planet.
是为你自己赚名声吧 Use it for the good of your publicist.
他很真实 他关心他人 He's authentic. He cares about people.
我才真实 我关心自己 I'm authentic. I care about myself.
只关心你自己 And only yourself.
关心自己就是一种真实 There's an authenticity involved in caring about oneself.
-天呢 -是不是难以置信 Oh my God. - Is that unbelievable?
-我和你说 丹森先生 我有一个字要送给你 -什么 Hey, you know what, Mr. Danson? I got one word to say to you.
-糖分 -什么意思 Sugar! - What does that mean?
我两次就解出来了 I got it in two.
是字谜 你把今天的字谜答案说了出来 That's Wordle? You gave away todays Wordle?
我还没做呢 你个烂人 I didn't do it yet, you fucking piece of shit!
过分了 这位先生 You've crossed the line now, mister.
带着你的庸俗破烂礼物滚出我家 Take your crappy, mediocre gift and get the fuck out of my house!
我可不用这破玩意儿 Cause I'm not going to use that piece of shit.
两次 拉里 两次就解开了 Two, Larry. Got it in two.
那我就带着这份一分钟就能疗伤的超棒礼物离开了 I'll take my fantastic gift that just healed an injury in one minute!
而且 你不可能两次就解开字谜 And by the way, you didn't get Wordle in two.
-瞎扯淡 还两次就解开呢 -泰德很聪明的 You're full of shit. Wordle in two. Ted is smart.
等等 还没和你的白痴狗子告别呢 Wait, let me say goodbye to your stupid fucking dog.
-你别碰他 -别碰这狗 Don't you touch that dog. - Do not touch the dog.
搞笑 两次根本不可能解出来 My ass. You never got anything in two!
他腹股沟没受伤 他腹股沟好得很 He didn't have a groin injury. His groin's perfectly fine.
-充电器没了 -赶紧走吧 Hey, there's no charger. Just go!
我和你们说 你们都听好了 Let me tell you something, and this goes for all of you.
你们总有一天会受伤的 要不了多久 You're gonna be injured one day, probably pretty soon.
别问我借筋膜枪 我不会借的 记好了 Don't ask to use my Theragun. You're not getting it. Just know that.
滚 别回来了 Go! And don't come backl
喂 要吗 Hey. You want this?
不不不 别起来 No, no, no, don't get upl
看球（四） Fore.
-一 -抱歉 Onel- Sorry.
别换了 到底要看什么啊 Stop flip, flipping. What are we gonna watch?
就选一个看吧 Let's just make a decision, you know?
-西耶娜·米勒 -谁 Sienna Miller. - Who?
西耶娜·米勒 Sienna Miller.
有个纪录片我很想看 There's a documentary I really want to watch
讲加州濒危野生动物圣迭戈丰年虾的 about endangered Californian wildlife, the San Diego fairy shrimp.
让我看五分钟 我就看五分钟 Give me five minutes. I just wanna watch five minutes.
两分钟 三分钟 Two minutes. Three minutes.
我的锤状趾越来越严重了 My hammer toe is getting so bad.
这有点用 但我不想六周后做手术 It kind of helps, but I don't want to have surgery at six weeks.
得穿靴子 Got to wear a boot.
又得剃鸡眼了 And it's time to shave my corns again.
我的足科医生就是个蠢货 My podiatrist, what an idiot.
能帮我推一下吗 Could you push that on for me?
拜托保护好我的老茧 疼死人了 For God's sake, protect my callus. It's so painful.
-你们就是哈林顿夫妇吧 -我是莉迪亚 You must be the Harringtons. I'm Lydia.
-我是罗恩 -我是拉里 - I'm Ron. I'm Larry.
-拉里 很高兴见到你 -我也是 请进吧 Larry, nice to meet you. Come on in, please.
-今天天气真不怎么样 -都不像洛杉矶了 It's pretty nasty out. - It doesn't feel like L. A.
里昂 里昂 Leon!
-喝点茶吧 -谢谢 Help yourself to some tea. - Thank you.
真好 非常感谢 Very kind. Thank you so much.
你能帮我们做这个中间人真是太好了 This is really nice of you to broker this for us.
-能帮就帮 -谢谢 Whatever I can do to help. - Thank you.
来了 他就是里昂 There he is! This is Leon.
-嗨 我是莉迪亚 -嗨莉迪亚 Hi. I'm Lydia. - Hey, Lydia.
嗨 罗恩 你好吗 里昂 Hey. Ron. How are you, Leon?
莉迪亚 真性感 我喜欢单音节的名字 That sounds sexy. I love those one- syllable names.
但莉迪亚有三个音节 不是单音节 Except Lydia has three syllables, not one.
你特么要和我讲数学吗 Now you're doing fucking math right now?
-我有时叫她迪 -问题这不就解决了 I call her Dee sometimes. Hey, problem fucking solved.
所以你们想创建一个家庭 So you two are interested in starting a family.
-我们想扩大家庭 -我们已经有一个小朋友了 We want to expand our family. - We already have a little one.
-我们有一只小狗 -对 梅贝尔 We have a small dog. Yeah, Mabel.
-她就像人一样 -她不是人 是狗 - It's like she's a person. - She's not a person. She's a dog.
她真的很像个小朋友 She's very much like a little person.
有什么人做的事是她会做的 And what can she do that a person does?
拉里的意思是 狗不能当人 What Larry's saying is that a dog cannot be a person
因为狗做不了人能做的事 'cause a dog can't do what people do.
但人能做狗会做的事 比如马戏团的柔术演员 Now, people can do dog- like shit. Like, a contortionist in the circus?
这好家伙能卷起身体 舔到自己的蛋 This motherfucker can bend his body up and lick his own balls.
你们觉得他不能舔自己的蛋吗 Do you think that motherfucker can't lick his own nuts?
当然可以 Of course he can
-不好意思失陪一下 -当然 Can you excuse us for one second? - Of course.
如果你想和她睡觉 我建议你闭嘴 If you want to fuck this woman, I suggest you shut up,
因为你每说一句话 睡觉的机会就少一分 because every time you open your mouth, you're hurting your chances.
我和你说 我现在要推销我的屌对吧 Let me tell you something right now. I'm the dick salesman right now, right?
交易的是我的席 对吧 让我来搞定这笔交易 My dick is on the market, okay? Let me sell this motherfucking car.
里昂 感谢你这么做 Well, Leon, thank you so much for doing this.
我们都很期待 We are so excited.
谢谢你给了我的屌一个服务你的机会 And thank you for giving my dick the opportunity to serve you.
-我们现在有一个窗口期 -我在排卵 So we have a window here. - I'm ovulating.
如果你有任何问题 Yeah, so if you have any questions for us...
你们想要个女儿吗 如果是的话 Do you guys want a girl? Cause if you do,
我要开始大量摄入芥末酱了 I'ma have to start eating a lot of mustard.
我的精子太特么强壮了 My fucking sperm is strong.
削削它们的锐气 生出来的小混蛋肯定胡子拉碴 生性凶猛 That little motherfucker gon'come out with a mustache and bad credit.
我的智商是152 如果不告诉你们 就是我的不对了 I would be remiss if I didn't tell you that my IQ is 152.
152 152?
我的妈妈是贝森赫斯特小姐 And my mother was Miss Bensonhurst.
很厉害拉里 但我们用不上你 That's very impressive, Larry, but your services won't be necessary.
对了 不知道你们有没有听说过大强森社区 Just FYI, I don't know if you guys ever heard of the big Johnson community.
好了 我想聊得差不多了 AlI right. I think we're good here.
非常感谢 里昂 Thank you so much, Leon
-好 再见 -聊得很开心 AlI right, well, so long! - Nice meeting you.
我给你个小建议吧 把眼睛闭好了 Can I give you a little tip? Keep those eyes closed.
谢谢 再见 Thank you. Bye.
我们要回家看梅贝尔了 Well, we gotta get home to Mabel,
但我有你的电话号码 明天见吧 but I have your number, and I'll see you tomorrow. Yeah?
电话联系 好好休息 Give me a call. And you get some sleep.
你得多睡睡 明天要拍你的小屁屁了 You're gonna need it. Tap that ass tomorrow.
谢谢 别自慰哦 Thank you. No masturbating.
你也是 Hey, you neither.
-别自慰 -她以为她是谁 床上警察 No masturbating. - Fuck is she, the cum police?
高桥先生约你明天办公室见 "Mr. Takahashi would like to see you in his office tomorrow. "
完蛋 Shit!
你知道这什么意思吗 我要被踢出俱乐部了 完了 You know what that means? I'm gonna get kicked out of the club. This is it.
是杜安 There's Duane.
布鲁克 走吧 走 Booker, let's go. Come on.
傻席连头也不点 混蛋 Motherfucker ain't even nod his head. This fucking guy.
什么毛病 What's his problem?
进来 Come in!
你惹大麻烦了 You are in big trouble.
我听说你不再是逗大家开心的人了 I hear you no longer the funny guy.
你低级又暴力 You are the cheap and violent guy.
先用高尔夫球打了奥斯卡奖得主特洛伊 First you hit Academy Award winner Troy with golf ball.
然后又用贝果打了他 你有什么想说的吗 And then, you hit him with bagel! What do you have to say for yourself?
首先 前一天晚上 Okay. First of all, the night before
我没怎么睡好 I didn't have a very good night's sleep.
我梦到我在鱼缸里 周围有好多小孔雀鱼 I'm dreaming I'm in a fish tank with a lot of little guppies around me
和金鱼 它们都在啄我 and goldfish, and they're all pecking at me.
啄 啄 啄 倒是不疼 Pecking, pecking, pecking. They weren't hurting me.
第二天早上我想 为什么会做这个梦呢 And then in the morning, I'm going, "I wonder why I had that dream. "
是因为我说我不喜欢三文鱼吗 "Is it because I said I don't really like salmon? "
我就只说过这么一句关于鱼的话 所以 我好累 I never said anything else about fish. And so, I'm exhausted.
我那天早上去了高尔夫练习场 坐在长椅上 And I go to the driving range that morning, and I'm sitting on the bench.
我在想午餐要吃什么 I'm thinking about what I'm going to have for lunch.
我不想吃鱼 我知道 I'm not gonna have fish, I know that.
然后我听到了吉米的声音 他在上课 垂直落杆 水平送杆 Then I hear Jimmy He's giving a lesson. Vertical drop, horizontal tug.
好了 别说了 别再说了 Okay. Stop! No morel
什么 What's that?
-给我出去 -没问题 高先生 得嘞 Get outl Can do, Mr. T. Got it.
走 我不想看见你的任何部位 滚 Go away. I don't want to see any part of you. Go!
谢谢 Arigato.
傻屌 Baka.
什么声音 是郊狼吗 What was that? Was that a coyote?
梅贝尔 你听到狗叫声了吗 Mabel? Did you hear a dog?
我啥也没听到 I didn't hear shit.