女孩子永远不会忘记自己喜欢上的第一个男孩 A girl will never forget the first boy she likes.
即使事情不尽人意 Even if things don't quite work out.
为什么推我? Why did you do that?
因为你闻起来像狗便便 Because you smell like dog poo.
你蠢得像狗便便 You're so stupid, just like dog poo.
你是狗便便做的! You're made out of poo!
但总有人为你排疑解惑 But usually someone is there to offer words of wisdom.
狗... Made...
... 便便... ...of...
... 做... ...dog...
... 的 ...poo.
亲爱的 Honey...
... 知道为什么那男孩要那样做 那样说吗? ...do you know why that little boy did those things and said those things?
因为他喜欢你 It's because he likes you.
就是这个 GIGl: And there it is.
这就是我们问题的开始 That's the beginning of our problem.
那个小男孩欺负你 是因为他喜欢你 That little boy is doing those terrible things because he's got a crush on you.
知道这意味着什么吗? GIGl: Do you know what this means?
我们被鼓励... We're all encouraged...
... 不 被设计... ...no, programmed...
...去相信 如果一个小子做了令你伤心的事 ...to believe that if a guy acts like a total jerk...
... 就表示他喜欢你 ...that means he likes you.
问题就在这儿: 他太喜欢你了 Here's the problem: He likes you too much.
而你太漂亮太能干 You're too pretty and too awesome.
- 嗯 - 他不知所措 - Yes. - He can't handle it.
那个Phi Delt显然很喜欢你 That Phi Delt so obviously liked you.
我相信他只是弄丢了你的号码 I'm sure he just lost your number.
他不约你是因为 他被你成功的事业吓到了 He's not asking you out because he's intimidated by your professional success.
相信我 因为他刚结束了一段认真的感情 Trust me. It's because he's just getting out of a serious relationship.
相信我，这是因为他从来没有过认真的感情 Trust me. It's because he's never had a serious relationship.
为什么我们这样互相宽慰? GIGl: Why do we say this stuff to each other?
难道因为我们太害怕... Is it possible that it's because we're too scared...
... 太难说出那个... ...and it's too hard to say the one obvious truth...
显而易见的事实? ...that's staring everyone in the face?
Janine说你是个房地产经纪人 So Janine says you're a real-estate agent.
对 不过我不在公交椅或商店推车上... Yeah, but I'm not one of those cheesy ones...
... 贴大头广告 那太低级 ...that puts my headshots on bus benches and grocery carts.
你贴在飞盘或笔记本上? So just, like, Frisbees and notepads?
差不多 Basically.
- 高级多了 - 正是如此 - It's much classier. - My thoughts exactly.
为什么Janine不早点介绍我们认识 Wonder why Janine never thought to introduce us before.
不知道 不知道 I don't know. I don't know.
- 嗨 伙计们 再来一杯? - 想再来杯吗? - Hey, guys. Want another round? - You want one more?
除非你也喝 如果你想喝 我可以... Only if you do. I mean, if you need to get going, I totally...
嗯... Uh...
好吧... Okay, well...
再来个加苏打的伏特加? Sure. One more. Ketel and soda?
还有啤酒 谢谢 And a beer, please.
稍等 Be right back.
- Conor 今晚很愉快 - 认识你很高兴 Well, Conor, I had a really nice time. - It was really nice meeting you.
- 再见 - 再见 - Bye. - See you.
喂 是我 Hey, it's me.
他很可爱 进展很顺利 He's cute, and I think it went well.
我想这会儿 他正往我家电话留言呢 And I think he might be leaving me a message at home as we speak.
喂 是我 我只想告诉你我想你 Hey, it's me. Just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you.
Conor 你真好 谢谢 Oh, that's very sweet of you, Conor. Thanks.
那个 你想不想吃个夜宵 Listen, I was wondering if you wanted to grab a late bite.
今晚? 我... Tonight? I...
不行 我本来要见朋友 但我太累了 别生气 No, I was supposed to meet friends but I'm burnt out. Don't be mad at me.
我没生气 我会晚点睡 No, of course, I'm not mad. Well, I'll be up for a while.
- 你先来吧? - 我等你 - Do you wanna go ahead of me? - I'll be up.
- 先别挂? - 好 - Oh, can you hold on? - Okay.
不用 你只买了一样东西... No, that's fine. You just have one thing, so...
严格说 买了六瓶... No, technically I have six...
... 我还在琢磨要不要买口香糖 所以你先吧 ...and I'm mulling over a gum purchase, so I think you should go.
好吧 Okay.
待会儿打给你 Let me call you right back.
好的 All right. Okay.
- 嗨 - 你好 - Hi. - Hey.
就这些 谢谢 Just that and that, please.
谢谢 Thank you.
噢 不会吧 Oh, my word.
啊? 不可能啊 Seriously? That's not possible.
我三天前才存了款 不可能爆卡 I just deposited cash three days ago, so it's just not possible.
不是说那个 我查查 Oh, it's not that. Let me check something.
恭喜 你中了 Congratulations, you won.
什么? What?
本店秋季促销活动 你是本月第1000位顾客 Our Funky Fall promotion. You're our 1000th customer this month.
啊? What?
不是开玩笑吧? Are you kidding me?
我不开玩笑 I don't do kidding.
上帝 我简直不敢相信 太棒了 Oh, my God. I can't believe this, it's so exciting.
天呐 我从没中过奖 Oh, my God. I never won anything before.
这竟是我有生以来最高兴的事 挺悲哀吧 This is the most exciting thing that ever happened to me. Is that sad?
是... 不 不是 Yea- No. I don't think so.
- 真的? - 嗯 - Really? - Yes.
谢谢! 过来 Thank you! Come here.
哇 Wow.
Terps跑到中场 想进攻 - as the Terps move to mid-ice, trying to...
- 嗨 - 嗨 - Hey. - Hey.
- 约会怎样? - 凑合 管它呢 - How was the date? - It was fine. Whatever.
- 你怎么在这儿? - 我的闭路断台了了 - Why are you here? - My cable's out.
Come on, Spiewak, it's not the Ice Capades.
电话铃有响过吗? You didn't hear the phone ring by any chance, did you?
- 没有 - 见鬼 - No, I didn't. - Shit.
Anna老是那句"呆会儿打给你" Anna gave me the old, "I'll call you right back. "
噢 见鬼, 是吗? 多久前? Oh, shit, yeah? Well, how long ago?
22分钟前 That was 22 minutes ago.
我打给她怎样? Do I call back?
你要打给她? 千万不要! Should you call back? No, absolutely not.
我就告诉她 我要上床睡觉了 I'm gonna call back and say I'm going to bed.
别 才9:30 你就...? What? No. It's 9:30. You're gonna-?
不 这是个好主意 No, it's a great idea.
打给她说 "不用给我打电话了... I'll call and say, "In case you were gonna call me back, don't...
... 因为我要睡了" 绝妙的主意 ...because I'll be sleeping. " A genius idea.
对 妙极了 Okay, no, that's brilliant.
睡醒后再打电话给她 "我醒了 可以接你的电话了" When you wake up you can say, "I'm awake now, I'm available to take your call. "
噢 稍等 Oh, gosh. A second.
- 很抱歉 - 没关系 - Sorry about that. - It's all right.
我... I was-
我说到哪儿了? Wait, what was I saying again?
你不愿像你母亲那样 一天醒来... You don't wanna be like your mother, wake up one morning...
... 发现自己从未追求过梦想 ...and realize you never pursued your dreams.
我这样说了? Is that what I was saying?
- 来点口香糖? - 不 谢谢 - You want some gum? - No, thank you.
上帝 我竟然谈那么沉重的话题 God, that's kind of heavy for a grocery chat.
- 没关系 - 是吗? - No, that's okay. - Isn't it?
- 对不起 - 或许我能帮到你 - Sorry. - I actually might be able to help.
我有个朋友专门接手音乐方面的客户 Yeah, I know a guy at my office who deals exclusively with music clients.
- 你开玩笑吧? - 嗯哼 - Are you kidding? - Uh-uh.
噢 上帝 Oh, my God.
- 你是我的救世主还是什么? - 不 - Are you my savior or something? - No.
- 帮我拿一下? - 好 - Can you hold this for a second? - Yeah.
太出人意料了 Oh, this is so unexpected.
好了... Okay...
我不能... I don't...
我有老婆 I'm married.
我不能这样做 I don't do this.
你不怎样做? 不帮助困境中的歌手? You don't do what? You don't help struggling singers?
不帮性感的瑜伽教练... Not hot yoga-instructing singers...
...而且还相当迷人 ...who are incredibly charming.
嗯 Hm.
你可以... 给我你的名片 Well, you could- You could give me your card.
这很合法 对吗? 可以吗? That's legit, right? Is that allowed?
可以 I could do that.
- 耶 - 那没问题? - Yeah. - That'd be okay, right?
好吧 Yeah.
很好 非常感谢 Great, thank you so much.
没关系 要帮你拎上车吗? Course. Do you need help to your car?
- 你的车在哪儿? - 不用 我自己来 - Where'd you park? - No, I'm fine. It's okay.
- 认识你很高兴 - 嗯 - It was very nice to meet you. - Yeah.
好了 Okay.
她是谁? Who was that?
- 一个潜在的客户 - 哦 - Oh, that was a prospective client. - Oh.
不错 Okay.
我和一个女孩说说话 你用不着这样吧 I can talk to a woman. It doesn't have to be like that.
我没有 No. Absolutely not.
- 开车吧 - 别紧张 - Just drive. - Relax.
- 嗨 - 嗨 - Hi. - Hi.
- 你好吗 - 很好 - How you doing? - Good.
- 是吗? - 是啊 我刚讲完电话 - Yeah? - Yeah. I just got off the phone.
- 是吗? - 是啊 跟我妹妹 - Yeah? - Yeah, with my little sister.
- 她好吗? - 她要结婚了 - How's she doing? - She's getting married.
真的? Really?
是的 Yeah.
很好啊 Great.
你真觉得好? You really think that's great?
是的 Yeah.
Devon看起来... Devon seems like...
...是个很好的男人 ...a great guy.
他们结婚了 你觉得很好... Well, so you think it's great that they're getting married...
... 而我们还没结婚... ...but you don't ever feel like we're going against nature, or something...
... 你却不觉得违背自然规律? ...by not getting married?
不觉得 No.
猫给猴子喂奶 才是违背自然规律 Going against nature is like the cat who suckled that monkey.
你我只是两个 碰巧都不结婚的人 You and I are just two people who happen not to be married.
告诉你吧 结了婚就不再互相信任了 Let me tell you something. People who get married are not to be trusted.
你真古怪 You are so weird.
真的 知道原因吗? They're not. You know why?
因为如果你真正的快乐并忠诚于对方... Because if you are so legitimately happy, honestly...
... 你就不会去搞个婚礼什么的展示一番 ...you wouldn't feel the need to make a big show out of it.
不用到处去告诉人家 You wouldn't have to broadcast it.
他们结婚是因为没信心... They do it because they're insecure...
... 他们认为结婚是必须做的事 ...and they think getting married's what they're supposed to be doing.
他们在欺骗自己和别人 So they're lying to themselves and to other people.
真的 Seriously.
想想你和你的朋友 好吗? Think about you and your friends. Okay?
你们有着非常深厚的友谊... These women you have great relationships with...
... 你们相识多年 关系亲密 ...you're close to them, some of them you've known for years.
但你们不会... But you don't feel the need...
...花45美元去马里兰州签一张友谊证书 ...to write a $45 check to the state of Maryland for a friendship certificate.
- 嗯 不会 我懂你的意思了 - 对吧? - Yeah. No, I get that. - Right?
这和你我之间又有什么区别呢? Why should it be any different, you know, with me and you?
我们很幸福 我爱你 我属于你... We're very happy, I love you, I'm committed to you...
... 我们生活很好 不是吗? ...we have a great life, you know?
对 你是对的 Yes, you're right.
为什么不就这样幸福下去呢? Why can't we just be happy?
你是对的 You're right.
- 我再给你倒些茶 - 好 - I'm gonna get you some more tea. - Okay.
请输入密码... Please enter your pass-
您没有留言 You have no messages.
主菜单 发送留言请按... Main menu. To send a message-
好吧 看来他没给你打过电话 Okay, so clearly he hasn't called.
也许他出差去了 Maybe he's away on business.
他卖房子 就在巴尔的摩 He sells real estate. In Baltimore.
- 呆在这城里就是他的工作 - 嗯 - Staying in town is his business. - Right.
好啦 我跟你说 Well, look, let me tell you.
我和Ben初次约会后 他11天没联系过我 After I went out with Ben for the first time, he didn't call me for 11 days.
11天呐 现在他还不是成了我的好丈夫 Eleven days. And now he's the world's best husband.
这样的事多着呐 That happens all the time.
- 真的吗? - 真的 - Really? - Really.
来杯咖啡? You want coffee?
- 给你加低脂牛奶 - 谢谢 - I got you 2 percent. - Thanks.
这都怪你 This is all your fault.
啊? 为什么? What? Why?
你介绍我们认识的 You set us up.
是你问我有没认识的人 我就给了Conor你的电话 No. You asked me if I know any guys, and I gave Conor your phone number.
这可不是撮合 That's not a setup.
我要撮合两个人 会先权衡利弊 When I do a setup, I weigh the pros and cons.
采取适当行动 I do my due diligence.
关于Conor 我只知道他卖给我们这房子 All I know about Conor is that he sold us this house.
说真的 别打 Seriously, stop.
他说他下班后常去城市夜总会 He said he always hangs out after work at the City Supper Club.
也许我可以来个刚好路过? Maybe I should do a little drive-by?
别这样 Please don't.
他会打给你的 He'll call.
好 我有个问题: Okay, I have a question:
为什么要发明来电显示? Why'd they even invent caller ID?
嗯 比如 这项服务对谁有用? It's, like, who is this service helping?
我指 几百年以来.. I mean, for centuries...
也许没那么久 嗯 但很多很多年以前... Okay, well maybe not centuries, but for, like, a lot and lot of years...
... 人们不知道打来电话的是谁... ...people have been answering their phone, not knowing who it is...
而且据我所知 没人因为那样就活不下去 ...and as far as I can tell, no one's died from that.
再说如果警方要知道是谁打的电话 他们可以跟踪电话 And it's like if the police wanna know who placed a call, they could trace it.
我是说 这样我就成了什么 警察吗? I mean, what am I, the police?
一定要知道电话是谁打来的这种心态 This constant obsession with needing to know who's calling all the time...
太讨厌了 ...it's, like, so gross.
就比如 你拿起电话 看到是谁打来的 心里就明白了 Like, you pick up the phone, you find out who it is, then you know.
这个 就像... It's, like...
听着 我想说的是... Look, all I'm saying...
如果一个男人没给我打电话 我可能会 ...if a guy doesn't call me, I would like to reserve the right...
每隔15分钟就打给他一次 直到他接电话为止 ...to call him at 15-minute intervals until he picks up.
但是 如果他低头看见是我的号码 But if he looks down and sees my numbers...
他就会觉得我神经兮兮的 ...he's gonna think I'm some kind of psycho or something.
但我并不是 Which I'm not.
很明显 Obviously.
喂? Hello?
妈妈 Mom.
我等会儿再打给你 I gotta call you back.
吸气 天狗式动作 Inhale. Upward-facing dog.
抬头看天花板 Look up towards the ceiling.
- 那个女侍应过来的时候他特地多点了几杯饮料 - 嗯 He ordered more drinks for us when the waitress came.
他完全记得我想要什么 He remembered exactly what I wanted.
他主动拥抱我 他说很高兴认识我 He initiated the hug. He said it was nice meeting me.
等一下 这是你们约会开始时还是约会结束时? So wait. This was at the end of the date or the beginning of the date?
约会结束时 怎么了 很重要吗? End. Why, does it matter?
当然了 如果开始时说"很高兴认识你" 这很正常 Yeah. "Nice meeting you" at the beginning of the date, that's normal.
但是结束时说"很高兴认识你"就... "Nice meeting you" at the end of the date...
就是没戏了 It could be a blowoff.
也可能是在约会开始时说的 Maybe it was at the beginning.
好吧 那蛮好的 他会打给你的 Okay. That's fine. He's gonna call.
也可能是结束时说的 Or maybe it was at the end.
可能他就是很高兴认识我啊 Or maybe it was just nice to meet me.
帮帮忙 Help.
你好 这太折磨人了 Hi. This is torture.
我怎样才能精辟地准确地 How am I supposed to come up with something pithy and dynamic...
介绍肉桂果物? ...to say about cinnamon blends?
我很难关注什么肉桂 It's hard to focus on nutmeg...
这个男人 很可能是我的真命天子 ...when the guy who might be the guy of my dreams...
但他却没给我打电话 ...refuses to call me.
我第一次和Neil约会之后 After my first date with Neil...
我主动打给他的 ...I called him.
已经没什么规定了 There are no rules anymore.
还有 我是说 你干嘛非得等他主动出击? And, I mean, why should you have to wait for him to get off his ass?
- 响了响了 - 电话通了就会响 - It's ringing. - That's pretty standard.
- 嘿 这里是Conor家 - 很好! 语音信箱 - Hey, you've reached Conor. - Yes! Voicemail.
- 请留言 我会尽快回复你 - 笔记 - Leave a message, I'll get back to you. - Notes.
"嘿 Conor 我是Gigi "Hey, Conor, it's Gigi.
我就是想 你没打电话给我 I just thought, I hadn't heard from you...
女人干嘛非得等男人打给她呢 不是吗?" ...and how stupid is it that a gal has to wait for a guy's call anyway, right?"
这是什么意思? 这是什么意思? What does that say? What's that say?
因为男女是平等的 对吗? Because we're all equal, right?
而且不仅仅是平等 More than equal.
如今法学院女生可比男生多 More women are accepted into law school now than men.
还有 我是说 不知道你看没看过"日界线"(美国一档爆料节目) And, I mean, I don't know if you saw that Dateline...
如今女人也可以有鸡鸡的 对吧? 那么... ...but women practically have penises now, right? So...
回电话给我 Call me.
哦 我是Gigi 回我电话 Oh, this is Gigi. Call me.
别担心 他肯定会打给你的 Don't worry, he's totally gonna call.
什么？ What?
电话怎么没声音? 电话怎么没声音? How can there not be a dial tone? How can there not be a dial tone?
没声音 回来吧 声音 No dial tone. Come here, dial tone.
Gigi 你在吗? Gigi, are you there?
在吗 Gigi? Hello, Gigi?
- 妈 是你吗? - 是啊 - Mom, is that you? - Yes.
- I can't talk now, I'll call you back. - 我现在没法跟你说 等会儿回你电话 - 等一下 我想要你... - Wait, I need you to-
你好 我是Janine 请留言 Hi, it's Janine. Leave a message.
你好 Janine 是我 Hi, Janine, it's me.
Conor没打电话给我 Conor never called...
所以我想要正好路过下城市夜总会 ...so I'm on the precipice of staging a casual run-in at the City Supper Club.
要阻止我就接电话 Pick up if you wanna stop me.
好吧 我就当你默许了 拜拜 All right, I'm interpreting your silence as tacit compliance. Bye.
- 最近怎么样 小妞? - 嘿 What's up, girl? - Hey.
- 你还好吗? - 不错 - How are you? - Good.
打扰一下 Knock, knock.
嘿 Hey.
那个... So...
瞧瞧 我们又轮到同一班 ...here we are. Same shift again.
我知道 我排的工作表 不记得了? I know. I make the schedule. Remember?
哦 我就猜这不是巧合 Well, I figured it was no coincidence.
我... I had...
那晚过得很开心 ...a good time the other night.
是啊 Yeah.
十杯龙舌兰酒下肚后你还真疯狂 It's amazing where 10 shots of Patr will get you.
那个 我在想... So I was thinking...
下班后我们可以... ...after work we could...
你知道的... You know...
听我说 Kelli Ann 那晚我们过得很开心 Look, Kelli Ann, what happened between us the other night was fun.
真的很开心 It was definitely fun.
但今晚我们人手不够 我甚至要亲自掌管吧台 But we're way understaffed tonight. I even have to man the bar.
所以我才安排你值班 So that's why I scheduled you.
来工作 To work.
那么... So...
我们没事了? Are we good?
- 当然了 我们没事了 - 好的 - Nope, we're good. - Okay.
嘿 哦 Kelli Ann Hey, oh, Kelli Ann.
嘿 宝贝 能把门关一下吗? 谢谢 Hey, babe, could you get the door? Thanks.
你好 是来吃晚餐的 还是? Hi. Are you joining us for dinner, or...?
我来见个人 一个男人 I'm meeting someone. A guy.
- 何必呢? - 嗯? Why? - Hm?
没什么 抱歉 来吃饭? Nothing. Sorry. For dinner?
我在吧台等他 I'll wait at the bar.
主意不错 That's a great idea.
需要点什么? What can I get you?
哦 不用了 我来见个人 Oh, no, I'm meeting someone.
哦 是嘛? 所谓的燃情约会么? Oh yeah? What, you got a hot date?
我不知道能不能算得上"燃情" I don't know if you'd call it "hot. "
Conor和我才约了一次会... This guy Conor and I have only been out one time-
等等等一下 Conor Barry? Wait, wait, wait. Conor Barry?
是的 Yeah.
Conor今晚不会来了 谢谢 Conor's not coming in tonight. Thanks a lot.
他忘记约了你在这里见面吗? Did he forget he was supposed to meet you here?
哦 那个 我说的"见个人" 意义很宽泛 Oh, see, when I said "meeting someone," I guess it was kind of a broad term.
"见个人"有很多种解释 A wide interpretation of the word "meeting. "
好的 你知道吗? 我打电话给他 Right. You know what? I'll call him.
哦 不 我是说 完全没必要 Oh, no. I mean, just totally unnecessary.
好吧 Okay.
我只是刚好在附近 I just was actually in the area...
顺便过来看看他在不在 ...and so I just figured I'd swing by and see if he was around.
因为我要还他这支笔 Because I had to return his pen.
还他这支笔 他落下的 Had to return this pen. He left this.
我想我要早点还给他 免得他抓狂 And I just thought I should really return it before he, you know, freaks out.
哦 好的 我帮你给他 Yeah. Okay, I'll get it to him.
谢谢 Thanks.
"Wilson Ward 牙科学博士 儿童 成人 中老年牙医" "Wilson Ward, DDS, Adult, Child and Geriatric Dentistry. "
那个 我也不好说什么东西对人家重不重要 Look, I'm not going to judge what may or may not be important to someone.
没错 尽管这根本不是他的牙医 Yeah. That's not even his dentist, though.
哦 是嘛 那谁是? Oh, really. Who is?
我爸 My dad.
哦 Oh.
我叫Gigi 我上周和Conor约过会 I'm Gigi. I went out with Conor last week.
然后我... And I just...
想看看是否会碰到他 I thought if I just ran into him...
我不知道 我要走了 I don't know. I'm gonna go.
等等 Wait.
等等 就... Wait, just-
再等几秒钟 我请你喝杯东西 Hang out for a second. Let me buy you a drink.
就一杯 好吗? One drink. Okay?
稍等一会 我马上回来 Give me two seconds, I'll be right back.
你看起来满理智的 我就实话跟你说吧 Look, you seem like a cool girl, so I'm just gonna be honest with you.
Conor不会打给你的 Conor's never gonna call you.
哦 是吗 你怎么知道? Oh, really. How do you know?
因为我是男人 男人都这么做 Because I'm a guy, and it's just how we do it.
他说很高兴认识我 He said it was nice meeting me.
我不管他有没有说你是他最爱的女人 I don't care if he said you were his favorite female...
除了他妈妈和Joanie Cunningham(美剧'欢乐时光'女主角) ...since his mommy and Joanie Cunningham.
但有一星期了吧 Gigi? 他都没打给你 Over a week went by, okay, Gigi? And he didn't call you.
但也许他打了 我没收到口信 But maybe he did call and I didn't get the message.
也许他弄丢了我的号码 Or maybe he lost my number...
也许他出城了 也许他被车撞了 说不定他奶奶去世了 ...or he's out of town, or got hit by a cab, or his grandma died.
也说不定他没打是因为没兴趣再见你 Or he didn't call because he has no interest in seeing you again.
好 但我朋友Terri就和一个没给她打电话的人约会过 Yeah. But my friend Terri once went out with a guy who never called.
她完全忘记了他 She totally wrote him off.
- 一年多以后 - 好吧 - Over a year goes by. - Right.
她碰巧遇到了他 最后他们... She ran into him, and it ended up that-
你的朋友Terri是个白痴 同时也是个例外 Your friend Terri's an idiot. She's also the exception...
是概率极小的例外 ...by the way. The rare exception.
好吧 好吧 但说不定我也是个例外呢? Okay. Okay. But what if I'm the exception?
不 你不是 你不是例外 实际上 你是普遍情况 No, you're not. You're not at all. In fact, you're the rule.
普遍情况就是 男人没打给你 是因为他不想打给你 And the rule is this: If a guy doesn't call you, he doesn't wanna call you.
- 真的? - 是的 - Really? - Yeah.
- 一直是这样? - 是的 一直是的 - Always? - Yeah, always.
听我说 我知道该怎样甩掉一个女人 懂吗? Look, I know what blowing off a woman looks like, okay?
我是老手 经验丰富 I do it early, I do it often.
所以相信我 如果一个男人表面上对你不怎么在乎 So trust me when I say if a guy is treating you like he doesn't give a shit...
他就真的不在乎你 ...he genuinely doesn't give a shit.
没有例外 No exceptions.
谢谢 Thank you.
你说的我会好好想想 Given me a lot to think about.
- 早晨好 早晨好 - 借过 Morning, morning. Excuse me.
- 你好 - 你好 - Hi. - Hi.
一切都还好吗? Everything okay?
哦 我昨晚一夜没睡 Oh, I was up all night.
求你告诉我你是在在忙肉桂的材料 Please say you were working on the nutmeg copy.
当然了 基本搞定了 我有件重要的事要说 Sure. It's basically done. I have to tell you something important.
宝贝? 你的头发怎么了? Sweetie? What's going on with your hair?
是啊 到这边来 免得他们看到你的头上有块小松饼 Yeah, come here before people see you have a mini muffin in your hair.
好吧 Okay.
那个... So...
谢谢 我想我是明白了 Thank you. I think I figured it out.
还记得那个对我劈腿的公务员吗? Remember that notary public who cheated on me?
Anastasia告诉我她男朋友起初也对她劈腿 Then Anastasia told me her boyfriend cheated on her at the beginning...
但后来他变了 现在他们结婚了 深陷爱河 ...but then he changed and now they're married and crazy in love?
- 我以为他只是个技术师呢 - 不 公证员 - I thought that guy was a process server. - No, notary.
不管怎样 我想说 Anastasia是个例外 不是普遍情况 Anyway, my point is, Anastasia's the exception, not the rule.
我们不能再听信这些童话了 We have to stop listening to these stories.
实际真理是 出轨的男人根本不在乎你 The rule is that guys who cheat on you don't care about you much.
- 好吧 - 好的 案例A: - Okay. - Okay, so Exhibit A:
Chad 住在仓库里的鼓手 Chad, the drummer who lived in a storage space.
他只是把我当司机 我却整个1998年都在跟踪他 He only used me for rides, and yet I continued to stalk him for most of 1998.
还有... 哦 那个Don And then... Oh, there was Don...
他每逢周五就要和我分手 这样他就可以过自在的周末 ...who broke up with me every Friday so that he could have his weekends free.
我曾经幻想过那段感情 I was delusional about that relationship.
我告诉我的牙医说 他是我丈夫 I'd refer to him as my husband to my dental hygienist.
还有 不管如何 我的朋友们给我讲的那些 And all of my friends used to tell me stories...
关于这些白痴男人都会变好的故事 ...about how things might work out with these dipshits...
因为她们朋友的朋友曾约会过这样的臭男人 和我类似 ...because they knew someone who dated a dipshit like mine...
结果这个朋友结婚了 过上幸福的生活 ...and that girl ended up getting married.
但那都是例外 我们不是例外 我们只是普遍情况 But that's the exception. We're not the exception, we're the rule.
好了 我想想我是不是明白了 Okay, let me just see if I understand.
那么 你是说... So what you're saying is...
如果我听说一个女孩已经和一个男人在一起13年了 ...if I hear a story about a girl who's been with a guy for 13 years...
最后他们结婚了 这就是例外 ...and he finally married her, that's the exception.
是的 Yes.
但是普遍情况是 像Neil这样的男人... But the rule are guys like Neil...
和我这样的女人 ...who are with girls like me...
在一起7年了还没结婚 ...for seven years and aren't married...
那就永远不会结婚了 ...they're never getting married.
- 不 - 不 - No. - No.
- 不 不 不 不 不 不 - 不 - No, no, no. No, no, no. - No.
- 她不是那个意思... - 不 这和你没关系的 - It's not what she meant in that- - No, it's got nothing to do with you.
我肯定不是在说你 我是说... 我是说... I absolutely was not talking about you.
- 总是有特殊情况的 - 我是在讲我自己呢 - These are specific relationship situations. - I was talking about myself specifically.
专指我自己 知道么? GIGl: Just me specifically, you know?
那个男人让你不得不喜欢 知道吗? This guy is, like, impossible not to like, you know?
他在便利超市和我很暧昧地打情骂俏 He's flirting with me pretty heavily outside of the Handy Mart...
那个 一切都自然而然 真的很神奇 ...and, you know, everything just kind of lines up, it's really magical.
然后他告诉我他有老婆了 And then he tells me that he's married.
我肯定是要发火的 对不对? Which, of course, I should be pissed about, right?
但我就是忘不了他 But I just can't stop thinking about him.
但他结婚了 But he's married.
我知道 我意识到了 我不知道我哪根筋搭错了 I know, I realize that. I don't know what's wrong with me.
我哪根筋搭错了? What's wrong with me?
好吧 Okay.
我认识一个男人 他是我爸爸复印店里的员工 I know this guy, he works in my dad's printing business.
他跟一个好女人结婚15年了 And he was married for 15 years to a nice lady.
某晚他在教堂的活动上遇到了一个女人 And one night he meets this woman at some church event.
他告诉我爸爸说他从没有过那样的感觉 And he tells my dad that he's never felt anything like it before.
他觉得自己终于找到了灵魂伴侣 That he had finally met the one.
于是他和他妻子离婚... So he divorced his wife...
... 之后他和这个女人一起过了22年... ...and he's been with this other woman for 22 years...
... 非常幸福 ...and they're insanely happy.
我是说 如果你遇到了生命中的最爱... I mean, what if you meet the love of your life...
... 但那个时候你已经嫁给了别人怎么办? ...but you already married someone else?
你就该无动于衷吗? Are you supposed to let them pass you by?
你说得对 好 You're right. Okay.
我给他打电话 I'm gonna call him.
对 Okay.
- 喂? - 嘿 Ben 我是Anna Marks Hello? - Hey, Ben. This is Anna Marks.
嘿 Anna 怎么了? Hey, Anna. What's up?
没什么 我只是... 想起来你说过能帮我 Nothing, I was just- I was taking you up on your offer.
你说你有些关系可能会对我有帮助 I know you said you had a couple of contacts you thought could help me.
我觉得我们可以边喝咖啡边聊一聊 And I thought maybe we could talk about it over coffee or something like that.
嗯 我... Look, I just...
不行 Anna I can't, Anna.
你很优秀 只是... 怎么说呢 You seemed great. I just- I don't know.
我得挂了 I should probably go.
不过 多保重 再见 Take care, though. Bye.
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
- 我就知道你会打给我 - 是吗 - I'm psyched you called. - Cool.
我差点以为你不会回我电话了 Kind of given up on you when you didn't call me back.
我刚好想到你 I was just thinking about you.
- 来杯酒? - 好 - Want a glass of wine? - Sure.
对了 都有哪些类型来着? Okay, what were the categories again?
四种类型: Four categories:
聪明 性感 风趣和可爱 Smart, sexy, funny and cute.
但只能选两项 But you can only be two things.
比如Sarah Jessica Parker('欲望都市'女主演)属于风趣和性感 Like Sarah Jessica Parker would be funny and sexy.
比尔克林顿是聪明和性感 Bill Clinton would be smart and sexy.
难以置信你居然认为克林顿是性感的 I can't believe you're hot for Clinton.
选吧 我是哪种? Go. What am I?
等等 我是哪种来着? Wait, what was I again?
你是聪明和可爱 You're smart and cute.
好吧 你是性感的 很性感 Okay, you are sexy, very sexy.
还有可爱的 And cute.
不 不对... No, you can't-
性感和可爱都是外表那一栏的 Sexy and cute are both in the looks column.
谁也不想只具有同一栏的特质 Nobody wants to be all in one column.
尽管我这么说会显得很傻 但显然你四种类型都是 I sound like a jackass if I say you're all four, which obviously you are.
尤其是性感 Especially sexy.
你是最好的 You're the best.
我该走了 I better go.
好吧 呃 你想留的话可以留下 Okay, well, you know you could stay here if you want.
怎么了? 你有一阵子没来了 What? It's been a while.
不 不行 No, I can't.
我不能 我... I can't stay, I'm totally-
我彻底 彻底醉了 I'm totally, totally fried.
你没关系吧? Is that okay?
没事 Yeah.
回头见 I'll see you later.
再见 Bye.
Hey.
你看看正吗? That look straight to you?
你挂那个干什么? Why are you hanging that?
因为三周前你要我把它挂起来 Because you asked me to about three weeks ago.
我现在总算是有空了 I'm getting around to it
怎么了? 你不喜欢吗? Why? You don't want it here?
不 我喜欢 但别弄了 No, I love it there. But just stop.
为什么? 是画的原因吗? Why? Is it the painting?
我也觉得这玩意看上去跟女人的平胸似的 You know, I know, it looks kind of like a deflated boob here.
对吧? 我知道 Right? I know.
真是压抑 要不我拿下来? It's gonna be depressing. Should I take it down?
不是 我是不想你再对我好了 No, I want you to stop doing anything nice.
你在玩什么小把戏 This feels like a trick.
- 不是 - 不是? - No. - No?
不 我只... 我只是不想你再对我这么好... No, I just- I just need you to stop being nice to me...
... 除非最终你会娶我 ...unless you're gonna marry me after.
可笑吗? Is that funny?
你觉得可笑吗? Do you think that's funny?
不 我不是觉得好笑 No, I guess it's not funny.
呃 你不能总对我这么好... See, you can't keep being nice to me...
... 我也不能再自欺欺人 ...and I can't keep pretending that this is something that it's not.
我们在一起七年多了 We've been together for over seven years.
你了解我 你知道我是什么样的人 You know me, you know who I am.
你到底想不想娶我 You either wanna marry me or you don't.
不是我想不想娶你... Or there's the possibility...
... 我是真的不相信婚姻... ...that I mean it when I say I don't believe in marriage-
扯淡 Bullshit.
听着 对女人来说这就是扯淡... Come on, it's bullshit for every woman...
... 如果有个男人说他不相信婚姻... ...that has been told by some man that he doesn't believe in marriage...
... 但六个月以后他娶了一个在健身房认识的24岁女人 ...and then six months later he's married to some 24-year-old that he met at a gym.
就是... 就是扯淡 It's just- It's bullshit.
你哪来的这些想法? Where is this coming from?
五年来我一直都在逃避这种念头 From the place I've been hiding from you for about five years.
五年来我一直都在逃避这种念头 Okay.
五年了 因为我不想让你觉得我要求太多 Five years, because I haven't wanted to seem demanding.
我也不想显得太依赖你或者精神错乱 And I haven't wanted to seem clingy or psycho.
或者别的什么 Or whatever.
所以我才没问过你 So I haven't asked you.
但现在... But I...
我不得不问 I have to.
我是说... I mean...
... 你到底会不会娶我? ...are you ever gonna marry me?
哦 我不能再这样了 Oh, I can't do this anymore.
我以前还觉得我从没被甩过 I used to think that I had never been dumped.
对 然后我们相互研究了一下 Yeah, then we started comparing notes.
然后才发现其实每次都是我们被甩 Then we realized we've both been dumped by every man we've ever been with.
- 每次 - 对 - Every one. - Yeah.
- 不过他们是如此狡猾 - 嗯哼 - But they do it so skillfully. - Mm-hm.
狡猾到你会以为分手是自己的主意 They just so sneaky that you think it was your idea.
对 你往那儿一坐心里就嘀咕了: Yeah. You're sitting back and you're like:
"哦 对 是我的主意 慢着 我怎么被甩了?" "Oh, yeah. This my idea. But wait a second, why am I alone?"
"为什么我不快乐? 为什么我长了20磅?" "Why am I unhappy? Why have I gained 20 pounds?"
- 他们控制了你的思想 - 对 他们是 - They Jedi mind-trick you. - Yes, they do.
- 他们就这样过关了 - 对 - So they do a soft pass. - Yeah.
他们总是说那几句话 They got little lines they like to tell you.
比如 "我不想妨碍你" Like, "I don't wanna stand in your way. "
或者 "你太好了 只是我还有待提高" Or, "You're perfect, it's just I have to work on myself. "
对 "我在为你的幸福着想" Right. "I'm just thinking of your happiness. "
"哦 我配不上你" 我最喜欢这句 "Oh, I don't deserve you. " That's my favorite one.
你知道我还喜欢哪句吗? You know the other one I like?
"我真嫉妒能娶你的那个人" "I am so jealous of the guy who gets to marry you. "
- 可笑 你自己怎么不娶我呢 - 对 - Well, that could have been you. - Yeah.
我还觉得嫁给你更好呢 That's what I was leaning towards.
对 一旦你听到这些话... Yeah. And the second you hear that...
... 你就直接跑去商店 大吃排骨和冰淇淋... ...run to the store, get yourself some ribs and some ice cream...
... 因为你被甩了 ...because you have been dumped.
嘿 Anna 我是Ben Hey Anna, it's Ben.
呃 我知道离你上次打电话来有一阵子了 Listen, I know it's been a while since you called.
只是... 我没有料到 It's just- It took me by surprise.
不过我确实说要帮助你的事业... But I did offer to help you with your career...
... 没有什么不可以的 对吧? ...and I don't see why I can't do that, right?
不如你给我打个电话... So why don't you give me a call...
... 或许你可以来我办公室什么的 ...and maybe you can come by the office or something.
好吧? 就这样 保重 再见 Okay? All right, take care. Bye.
嘿 你 Hey, you.
哦 真是的 Oh, shit.
- 怎么了? - 你吓到我了 - What? - You scared me.
- 你没事吧? - 没事 - You okay? - Yeah.
一切还好 Everything's fine.
你又抽烟了? Are you smoking again?
没有 亲爱的 我没抽烟 No, sweetie, I'm not smoking.
怎么了? Why?
你一抽烟就神经质 You get jumpy when you smoke.
我没抽烟 我保证 I'm not smoking, I promise.
不是 我只是坐着... No, I was just sitting here...
... 想象这间屋子装修完了的样子 ...trying to picture what this room's gonna look like when it's finished.
- 挺有意思 - 是吗? - I like that game. - You do?
是 Yeah.
你想象的是什么颜色? What color did you picture?
我正在为此踌躇 That's where I got stuck.
对 Yeah.
我想... I was thinking...
... 也许用黄色 ...maybe yellow.
- 黄色? 好 - 对 我觉得 黄色是中间色 - Yellow? Okay. - Yeah. I mean, it's neutral.
- 呃 - 对 可以当作任何房间 - Mm-hm. - Yeah. So it could be whatever.
可以当作办公室 可以当做客房... It could be an office, it could be a guest room...
... 健身房 婴儿房... ...a gym, a baby's room...
等等 你是说"中间" 还是"中性"? Wait, did you mean "neutral," or "gender-neutral"?
- 不知道你在说什么 - 哦 真的? - I don't know what you're talking about. - Oh, really?
我知道我说过 我们可以以后再谈这个 I know we said we'd wait to talk about it.
- 呃 - 嗯 Uh-huh. - Mm-hm.
但我认为我们就快准备好了 But I think that we're almost ready to start talking about it.
所以那是我最后一次无偿服务 So that's the last time I do anything pro bono.
好了 女士们 我该回办公室去了 Well, ladies, I guess I have to get back to the office.
你快乐够要回去工作了? 工作有什么劲? You go back to the office after happy hour? What's happy about that?
遇见你使一切都有意思了 I met you.
有时间我想给你打电话 你有名片吗? I would love to call you sometime. Do you have a card?
- 当然 - 哦 太好了 - Of course. - Oh, great.
这是我的信息 Here is my info.
- 很高想见到你 Janine - 很高兴见到你 - Nice to meet you, Janine. - Nice to meet you.
期待着你打来电话 Gigi Look forward to hearing from you, Gigi.
哦 等等 Oh, wait.
那个... So...
... 我们怎么联系? ...how are we doing this?
是你等我的电话还是我等你的? Are you hearing from me or am I getting a call?
什么? What?
你说你会给我打电话... You said you'd love to call me...
... 但你又说 "期待着你打电话来" 这... ...but then you said, "Look forward to hearing from you," and-
是不是有点不好理解? You see how that's kind of confusing?
对 呃 我们再商量吧 我们会再联系的 Yeah, look, we'll talk. We'll get in touch.
你又来了 含糊其辞 You did it again. Very vague.
知道吗? 我们直接说你给我打电话... You know what? Let's just say that you'll call me...
... 然后就可以省略其他的废话了 ...and then we can skip all the nonsense.
再见 Gigi Goodbye, Gigi.
- 他挺可爱 - 对 可别上网去搜索人家的资料 - He was cute. - Yeah, please don't cyber-stalk him.
你干什么? What are you doing?
我不会给他打电话 I'm not calling him.
他要是想见我 他会打电话的 If he wants to see me, he'll call.
喔 Wow.
那个叫Alex的家伙给你印象不错 That guy Alex really made an impression on you.
他好看吗? Was he hot?
不 他就是... No. He was just...
... 还行 ...right.
早上好 Morning.
早上好 Ryan Morning, Ryan.
一杯咖啡送帅哥 A surprise mocha venti just because you're so awesome.
- 爱你 - 爱你 - Love you. - Love you.
早上好 Good morning.
好 Okay.
怎么样? So?
哦 嗨 Oh, hi.
- 他约我了 - 哦 天呐 他打电话了? - He asked me out. Oh, my God. He called?
- 呃... - 他发电子邮件了? Well... - He e-mailed?
- 没有 - 什么? - No. What?
只是给你的同伴留了个电话号码? Left his calling card with your lady-in-waiting?
- 他在MySpace上联系的我 - 哎呦 - He MySpaced me. - Ouch.
- 哦 - 哦 姑娘 不是吧 - Oh. - Oh, girl, I don't know about that.
我的小姐妹说用MySpace联系只是想上床 My trampy little sister says MySpace is the new booty call.
我能怎么办呢? Well, what am I supposed to do?
我是说 时代不同了 I mean, things have changed.
人们不再那么愿意见面了 People don't meet each other organically anymore.
如果我想让自己在异性面前更有吸引力... If I would like to make myself seem more attractive to the opposite sex...
... 我不用去换个新的发型 更新我的资料就行了 ...I don't go and get a new haircut, I update my profile.
就是这么回事 明白? That's just the way it is, you know?
是 她说得对 Yeah, she's right.
回去 回去 回去 回去 Back, back, back, back.
广告销售 我是Mary Ad sales, this is Mary.
嗨 Mary 我是Conor Anna的朋友 随便了 Hi, Mary, this is Conor, Anna's friend, or whatever.
嗨 Hi.
那么 你觉得怎么样? So, what'd you think?
我正在看 我不太确定 Looking at it right now. I'm not sure about this.
哦 你要相信我 Oh, you have to trust me.
这个市场正在迅速发展 你会赚大钱的 It's a burgeoning market, you're gonna make a fortune.
我知道 你一定要把我放在按摩广告那页里吗? I know. Did you have to put me with the massage ads?
呃 不是这页的话就是私人信息那页了 所以... Well, it was either that or the page with the personals, so...
这一页很多人看哦 This page gets a lot of action.
对 你说的对 Yeah, I guess you're right.
嘿 你最近有没有见过Anna? Hey, have you spoken to Anna lately?
见过 Yeah.
好的 Okay.
先这样 Mary 我以后联系你 谢谢 All right, Mary, I'll talk to you soon. Thank you.
再见 Bye.
我想告诉你 这是有区别的 What I'm trying to show you is that there's a difference.
确实有区别 There is a difference.
嘿 你是怎么说服Linda阿姨在两周内把这些礼服缝制好的? Hey, how did you get Aunt Linda to sew these dresses in two weeks?
她喜欢做这些 She wanted to do it.
真的吗? 她告诉我 她感觉这样就像裁缝铺里的印尼老太婆 Really? She told me she felt like an old Indonesian lady in a sweat shop.
- 不是这样吗? - 不 她没有这么想 - Is that not right? No, she didn't.
不是? No?
什么... ? 为什么急着结婚? What's the-? Why the big rush to get married?
因为我不想在冬天穿的那么臃肿去结婚... Because I am not having my wedding during a gross Baltimore winter...
...而且我还不想等到来年春天 ...and I am not waiting till spring.
你真像怀孕了 You are so pregnant.
哦 天哪 我没怀孕 Oh, God, I'm not pregnant.
我没有怀孕 真是无聊 I'm not pregnant. That's ridiculous.
- 那来瓶啤酒吧 - 不 我不喝啤酒 - Chug a beer then. No, I'm not chugging a beer.
来一瓶吧 Chug a beer.
我们是相爱的 你们这群傻瓜 We're in love, you assholes.
结婚 是相爱的人都会做的事情 That's what people do when they're in love, they get married.
但是你知道吗? 并不是所有的人都会结婚 你懂吗? But you know what? Not everybody gets married, you know?
有很多人永远都不会结婚 There are many people who never get married.
谢谢你这么积极的鼓励我 Well, thanks for the inspirational pep talk.
她其实想说 你和Neil分手没什么 What she meant to say was that it's fine that you broke up with Neil.
对 Right.
很多人选择独身 而且他们过得很开心 Tons of people make the choice to be alone. They're happy.
比如阿尔·帕西诺（教父主角) Look at Al Pacino.
从没结过婚 开心的不得了 Never been married, happy as a clam.
我是不是... ? 在这件事上要向阿尔·帕西诺学习? Would that-? Am I-? Would I be Al Pacino in this scenario?
不是 Bethie 我们只是... 我们希望你能快乐 No, Bethie, we just- We want you to be happy.
那你就换掉这身珊瑚红的衣服 Well, then you should have rethought the coral.
哦 她那副表情 Oh, her face.
- 瞧你那表情 - 别把她弄哭了 - Your face. - Don't make her cry.
我最讨厌这玩笑了 I'm sick of these coral jokes.
我知道 你很多愁善感 相信我 我了解 I know, you're sensitive. Trust me, I get it.
嘿 你干嘛不来跟我和Steven 还有孩子们吃晚饭呢... Hey, why don't you have dinner with me and Steven and the kids...
... 然后在我那儿过夜...? ...then you can just stay over-?
她干嘛要和你还有你老公呆在一起啊? Why'd she wanna hang out with you and your husband?
我最不愿意这么做 The last thing I'd feel like doing.
如果参加婚礼让你这么痛苦... If being in this wedding is too painful-
哦 天啊 姐妹们 求你们了 别说了 放松 放松 Oh, God, you guys. Please, stop it. Relax, relax.
打住吧 好吗? 说真的 姐妹们 我是... That's enough, okay? Seriously, you guys, I'm f-
我之前也分过手 如果你们还记得 我那时候处理的很好 I've gone through breakups before. If you remember, I handle them quite well.
你们亲眼见证过的 我有能力做好这些事情 You've been there, you've seen it. I'm perfectly capable of doing this.
这一次也不例外 I can do it again.
我不希望你们为我担心 I want you to stop worrying about me.
我很好 I'm fine.
我知道它肯定在这 I know it's here somewhere.
我和George Lane谈过关于音乐的事情 他有一堆的名单 I spoke with George Lane in Music. He had a whole list of references for you.
那好吧 等你找到了再给我打电话 Well, that's okay. You can just call me when you find it.
我发誓 我不是要找借口引你到这儿来 I swear I didn't lure you here under false pretenses.
我知道 I know.
但是 女孩子总可以幻想一下吧 A girl can dream, though.
你就是太好了 You're just too good a guy.
再问一次 你为什么结婚? Why are you married again?
真的 为什么? Seriously, why?
不 我真的觉得 知道了是件好事... No, I really think that it would be good for me to know...
...为什么你没有这个女人就不能活 ...why you cannot live without this other woman.
我们从大学的时候就在一起了 而且她给我下了最后通牒 Well, we'd been together since college and she gave me an ultimatum.
她说 "如果我们不结婚 那就分手" She said, "Either we get married or we break up. "
所以我们就结婚了 So we got married.
哇 你屈服了 Wow. You caved.
这很复杂 It's complicated.
真的吗? Really?
知道吗? 如果你和一个女孩恋爱很久却没有和她结婚 那你是个混蛋 What? You're a dick if you date a girl for too long and don't marry her.
而在没准备好的时候娶了她 那你就是个笨蛋 You marry her and you're an asshole for marrying before you're ready.
见鬼 我也不知道 I mean, shit, I don't know.
你真的很漂亮 You're really hot.
我显然迷上你了 And I am obviously attracted to you.
所以我想我最好是... So I think the best I can do is...
... 等找到了那张单子 再打给你... ...eventually find this piece of paper and call you...
... 希望能为你的事业 尽一点绵薄之力 ...and hope to just help you out in your career in some small way.
嗨 Hi.
嗨 还好吗? Hi. What's going on?
Javier.
Javier 不是说好了要把家具罩上布吗 Javier, I thought we talked about tarping the furniture.
City Supper(餐厅名字) City Supper.
嗨 我是Gigi Alex在吗? Hi, this is Gigi. Is Alex there?
等一下 Hold on.
- Alex? - 嗨 - Alex? - Yo.
- 好喝吗? - 不错 再来一杯 - Drinks are good? Yeah, one more.
- 你好? - 嗨 我是Gigi - Hello? - Hi, this is Gigi.
- Gigi? - Gigi Phillips.
- 嗯? - 我 呃... - Huh? - I, um...
...有一支牙医的钢笔 ...had the dentist pen.
是 嘿 你怎么样? Right. Hey. How you doing?
- 我很抱歉麻烦你 - 没什么 - I'm really sorry to bug you. - That's okay.
你的见解独到 我想问你个问题 You had some really good insights and I wanted to ask you a question.
好的 听着 现在我必须说点难听的了 Okay, look, now I need to be harsh with you.
Conor永远不会对你有兴趣的 Geege Conor's never gonna be interested in you, Geege.
嗯 我知道 这次是关于Jarrad的 No, I know. This is about Jarrad.
Jarrad.
我们在酒吧特价时间遇到的 他长得很帅... So we meet at happy hour and he's completely charming-
嘿 等我一下 好吗? 就一会 等一下 Hey, give me two seconds, okay? Two seconds, hold on.
让我猜猜 他说: Let me guess. He said:
"最开心的就是遇到你" "The only thing happy about this hour is you. "
他或许比这更老套 He might have used some derivative of that.
他说他会打电话 但是之后他给了我名片 还说... So he says he's going to call, but then he gives me his card and he says-
哦 他对你没兴趣 Oh, he's not interested.
- 我还没说他打没打 - 他打了吗? - You don't even know if he's called. - Oh, did he?
没有 No.
- 但是我真的认为他期待... - 算了吧 - But I honestly think he's expect- - Okay.
Gigi 他对你没有兴趣 Gigi, he is not interested.
Alex 这没什么大不了的 Alex, this is jacked.
女领班因为我没穿黑色衬衫 把我给骂了一顿 The hostess is giving me shit for not wearing a black shirt.
- 这不是黑色的 - 看看 - It's not black. - Look at it.
不是黑色的衬衫 我看见了 不是黑的 Not a black shirt. I see it. It's not black.
这件衬衫是黑色的 This shit is black.
如果一个男人给你他的名片 却没要你的 说明他不喜欢你 If a guy gives you his phone number instead of taking yours, he's not interested.
他先要了我的 然后他给... He took mine first. Then he gave-
还有 如果一个男人想要约你 相信我 他一定会约你的 And also, if a guy wants to see you, believe me, he will see you.
我曾经给55个叫Lauren Bells的打了电话 直到找到我想找的那个 I once called 55 Lauren Bells until I got the right one.
那真是太可爱了 That's cute.
之后怎么样了? What happened?
哦 她的屁股在白天看起来真大 Oh, yeah, as it turns out, her ass looked really huge in the daylight.
是不是因为你的细腻 你才这么受女人欢迎? Is it your sensitivity that makes you so popular with women?
不要给他打电话 他不喜欢你 Don't call him. He doesn't like you.
不要总是否定我的感觉 Don't tiptoe around my feelings.
- 我只是想要帮你 - 我知道 谢谢你 - Well, I'm just trying to help. - I know. Thank you.
不客气 Sure.
我要回去工作了 祝你好运 I gotta get back to work, but good luck.
好的 再见 Okay, bye.
嘿 哥们 在家吗? Hey, buddy, you home?
在 进来吧 Yeah. Come on in.
嘿 想喝啤酒吗? Hey, you want a beer?
还是苹果马爹利? Or an apple martini?
哦 真好笑 Oh, that's funny.
你告诉你父母了吗? Have you told your parents?
这是为了工作 我想扩大客户群 It's for work. I'm trying to expand my client base.
以假装成一个同性恋的方式? By pretending to be gay?
应该说是 以对同性恋友好的方式 No, by being more gay-friendly.
或者 更准确点是 "同性相怜" Or, in real estate terms, "gay-adjacent. "
不错 我以后就这么说 Nice. I'm gonna use that.
我应该换了它 这或许是有点过头了 I should change this. It's maybe a little much.
我不知道 穿成那样 和一个不会跟你上床的女孩约会... I don't know. Dressing like that, seeing a girl who won't sleep with you...
... 我觉得你应该放弃 ...I think you can pull it off.
不是她不会跟我上床 傻逼 It's not that she won't sleep with me, douche bag.
她跟我上过床 只是她 你知道的.... I have slept with her. It's just she, you know...
再也不会和你上床 Won't sleep with you anymore.
差不多 是的 Pretty much, yeah.
你怎么看? What do you think?
我觉得你有问题... I think you got a problem...
... 因为你的美丽和性感 把她们都吓跑了 ...because you're gonna have to beat them away with a stick, you gorgeous, sexy man.
见鬼 Holy shit.
注意你的呼吸 Observe your breath.
吸气 鼓腹 Inhale, belly rise.
呼气 收腹 And exhale, belly fall.
双手合十 放于胸前 Bring your hands together in front of your chest.
心怀感激的低下头 Bow your head in gratitude.
- 合十礼 - 合十礼 - Namaste. - Namaste.
谢谢你们来上课 下周再见 Thank you for coming. See you next week.
很好的课程 Great class.
我们偶遇了 We ran into each other.
你来上我的课 You came to my class.
我不知道是你上课 I had no idea this was your class.
你打电话问过是不是我上课的 You called to ask me if this was my class.
没有 你根本没有回我电话 No, you never called back.
因为你说 如果是我的课就不要回电话 Because you told me not to call you if it was my class. It was.
- 不 我们只是偶遇 - 好吧 - No. We just ran into each other. - Okay.
我们只是单纯的朋友 碰巧在一起健身 We're just two innocent folks who happen to be working out near each other.
确实是 Exactly.
你想游泳吗? Do you want a swim?
当然 Sure.
你知道 我只是想... You know, I was just thinking...
...为什么我们不能成为朋友? ...why can't we be friends?
我是说 我就不能再有朋友了吗? I mean, am I not allowed to have friends anymore?
我是说 我不能跟那些性感的女孩做朋友吗? I mean, am I not allowed to be friends with people that are hot?
我是说 这是哪门子的规定? I mean, what kind of reverse prejudice is that?
我听着呢 I hear you.
我是说... I mean...
... 我就不能和已婚男人做朋友吗? ...am I not supposed to be friends with a guy just because he's married?
对 Right.
一个傻笑的? Or has an insane smile?
有着令人浮想联翩的屁股的男人? Or an ass that makes me wanna dry hump?
- 你刚才说"浮想联翩"? - 是啊 - Did you just say "dry hump"? - Yeah.
我想我恋爱了 Think I just fell in love.
所以我们是朋友了 So we're friends.
对 Yeah.
你想下来吗? You wanna come in?
对不起 我不能信任我自己 I'm sorry, I don't trust myself.
没关系 你可以看 That's okay. You can just watch.
你或许是我有过的最好的朋友 You know, you may be the best friend I've ever had.
- 嗨 - 嘿 - Hi. - Hey.
- 冲个凉 嘿 - 什么? 嗨 Take a shower. Hey. - What? Hi.
- 亲爱的? - 嗯 - Honey? - Yeah.
你闻起来怪怪的 You smell weird.
- 我闻起来怪怪的? - 对 不一样 - I smell weird? - Yeah, different.
- 怎么不一样? - 我不知道 - Different how? - I don't know.
似乎难以启齿 Sort of an odd thing to say.
可能是因为我在后院 You know, maybe it was the ashtray and cigarettes I found.
找到的烟灰缸和香烟 In the back yard.
"我父亲死于肺癌"这句话... What part of "My dad died of lung cancer"...
... 很难记吗? ...is so hard for you to wrap your brain around?
什么? What?
不要骗我 Ben 求你 好吗? Do not lie to me, Ben. Please, okay?
你是说真的吗? Are you serious?
每天在这儿工作的工人那么多 We have, like, 8000 undocumented workers here daily.
你发现了一个烟灰缸还有些烟蒂 所以你就认为... Okay, and you find an ashtray with cigarettes in it and you think-
你就直接认为那些是我的 You automatically assume that they're mine.
哦 是的 Oh, yeah.
亲爱的 我没有骗你 Honey, I'm not lying to you.
我觉得... I think...
...你真是神经过敏 ...you are really freaking out.
因为没什么进展 整个装修工作让你压力很大 This whole renovation thing's getting to you because nothing's happening.
那就说不 Just say no.
然后扔掉它 Get it out.
洗个澡 Gonna take a shower.
- 我很累 - 好吧 - I'm exhausted. - Okay.
- 抱歉 - 没事 - Sorry. - It's all right.
谁会想到一个瑜伽课上认识的女孩... Who'd have thought that a random girl from yoga...
- ... 会给我介绍一个接吻高手? - 继续 美女 - ...would fix me up with such a good kisser? - Back at you, sister.
我都等不及再吻你了 I can't wait to kiss you again.
但是我们正在接吻啊 But we're kissing right now.
我知道 我是说下一次 I know, next time.
二次约会的吻会更有性趣 The second-date kiss is way more intimate.
听着 Well, listen...
我明天要走了 所以暂时不能联络了 ...I'm leaving tomorrow, so I'll be out of touch for a little bit.
等我两秒钟好吗? 健怡可乐喝多了 Can you excuse me a quick second? Too many Diet Cokes.
好的 Okay.
好 Oh, yeah.
喂? Yeah?
嘿 不好意思又打扰你了 问你一个问题 很快 Hey, sorry to bug you again. Quick question.
等一下好吗 宝贝 抱歉 Excuse me one minute, babe. Sorry.
怎么了? What's going on?
我和一个男的在亲热 限制级的 Okay, I'm making out with this guy- PG stuff.
他说他要去趟外地 会暂时不能联络 And he mentions that he's going out of town, he's gonna be out of touch.
继续 Run.
也许他真的要去外地 But maybe he is going out of town.
去哪儿? 他要去哪儿? Where? Where's he going that he's gonna be out of touch?
你刚才说你要去哪儿? Where are you going out of town to again?
嗯... 呃... 匹兹堡 Um- Uh- Pittsburgh.
匹兹堡 Pittsburgh.
离开他 Run.
现在 我应该离开所有不喜欢我的男孩? So, what, now I'm just supposed to run from every guy who doesn't like me?
没错 Yeah.
那就没人了 There's not gonna be anybody left.
我不知道我为什么说这个 I don't know why I'm saying this...
但是我认识一个不错的男生 我想他会喜欢你的 ...but I think I know a nice guy who might actually like you.
- 真的? - 真的 - Yeah? - Yeah.
他是我哥的朋友 他叫Bill He's friends with my brother. His name's Bill.
我们都是喝酒的时候碰面 还不错 We'll all meet for drinks and it'll be good.
那么 我... 我现在在他家浴室里 So, I mean, I'm in his bathroom right now.
我该怎么办? What do I do?
你总会出来的吧? 我不急 在这儿等你 Well, you gotta come out eventually, right? But I'd take my time in there.
让他急一急 I'd let him sweat.
- 谢谢 - 祝你好运 - Thanks. - Good luck.
这船棒极了 Yeah, the boat looks great.
但你却糟糕透了 You look like shit.
但是你的船棒极了 But your boat looks great.
当然 我住在船上 伙计 Yeah. I live on my boat, man.
个人卫生要在窗外解决 Personal hygiene goes out the window.
大部分时间都在这里工作 A lot of time to work on the place.
你该试试在浴室里工作 You should try working on a shower.
是吧 Yeah.
嘿 我该怎么说呢? Hey, what can I tell you?
- 坚守原则 - 完全明白 Standing on principle, man. It's all I got.
来一根? Cigarette?
不用了 No, I'm good.
很好 你戒了 That's right, you quit.
对你有好处 Good for you.
是Janine派你来监视我的? So did Janine send you out here to check up on me?
没错 差不多 Yeah, pretty much.
你要怎么汇报? What are you gonna tell her?
我要告诉她你在海上享受极了 I'll tell her how gorgeous you look out here on the ocean.
别开玩笑了 Break.
Beth怎么样了? Any word from Beth?
她忙着她妹妹的葬礼 我想她一定... She's so busy organizing her sister's funeral, I think she must be-
妹妹的什么? Sister's what?
她的婚礼 她妹妹的婚礼 Her wedding. Her sister's wedding.
- 我刚说的不是婚礼? - 不 你说的是"葬礼" - Isn't that what I said? - No. You said "funeral. "
- 不 我没有 - 不 你有 - No, I didn't. - Yes, you did.
我真的说了? Shit, did I really?
太奇怪了 That's so weird.
我真不明白为什么有人想结婚? I don't understand why people wanna get married.
他们不想 They don't.
- 他们不想? - 没错 - They don't? - No.
事实上 没有男人想结婚 No, no guy actually wants to get married.
如果他们要结婚 他们真的考虑清楚了吗? And if they do, all they're really thinking about?
他们会错过全天下的女人 All the women they're gonna miss out on.
我不想和别人一起 我只想和Beth一起 I don't wanna be with anybody else, just Beth.
我不知道 我... I don't know, man, I...
你为什么结婚? Why'd you get married?
我爱Janine I love Janine.
你是个快乐的已婚男人 You're a happily married guy.
是的 Yeah.
没错 我想是的 Yeah, I'd say so.
现在 我想我没必要多此一举的告诉大家 Now, I know I don't need to tell any of you...
我的表妹Paige很辣 ...that my cousin Paige is hot.
上高中时 如果我告诉那些帅哥Paige是我的表妹 In high school, if I told the popular guys that Paige was my cousin...
他们会追着我的屁股后面跑 ...it'd keep me from getting my ass kicked...
因为没人想错失和她相处的机会 ...because no one wanted to blow their chances with her.
当她站在那儿说要嫁给Devon时 And when she gets up there and says those marriage vows to Devon...
世上不知又有多少颗心破碎了 ...there will be hearts breaking all over the world.
听听，多甜蜜 Hear, hear. That's sweet.
但是 不要忘了她的姐姐Beth还待价而沽呢 But, you know, keep in mind that her sister Beth is still on the market.
没错 也许她是位上了年纪的模特 Yeah, sure, she may be an older model...
但离掉价还有一段距离 ...but she got a lot of good miles left in that tank.
但是不要待的太久了 But don't stay on the lot too long...
新的模特们会在出现 抢走所有风头... ...or next year's models are gonna slip in there and steal all-
好了 发言到此为止 Okay, that's enough of the speeches.
好吧 Okay.
大家享用螃蟹吧 So enjoy the crab.
这个黄色的东西可不是芥末酱 它是螃蟹的胰腺 And that yellow stuff is not hot mustard, it's the crab's hepatopancreas.
Bethie.
你表弟Jay一直是个不分轻重的傻小子 Your cousin Jay has always been a jackass.
我知道 I know.
但就连他都结婚了 And somehow even he's married.
亲爱的 听我说 Oh, honey, look.
有一次 当大家只是要去某地露营时 Back when everyone was just going to camp at the Y...
你借去我的纽约时报 ...you borrowed my New York Times...
发现波克夏有一个艺术野营 ...found some arts camp in the Berkshires...
你自己寄了封信给咨询处 拿到了入营证 ...wrote away for information and got accepted on your own.
你总是独树一帜 You never did things like everyone else.
为什么呢? Why not?
因为这就是你 Because that's you.
这就是为什么我最喜欢你这个女儿 That's why you're my favorite daughter.
你不该说这种话 You're not supposed to say that.
我不在乎 I don't give a shit.
我退休了 我想说什么就说什么 I'm retired, I'll say what I want to.
如果你想 我会对整个屋子里的人这样说 I'll say it to the whole room if you want.
等等 等等 等等! 过来 停下 Wait, wait, wait! Come here. Stop.
是实话 It's true, though.
嘿 Hey.
- 你在干嘛? - 等你 - What are you doing? - Waiting for you.
过来 Come on.
不好意思 我迟到了 Sorry I'm late.
没事 没关系 No, it's okay.
相亲前 我习惯早到 I like a little time before a blind date.
打起精神 提醒自己不要泄露磨牙的事... Prepare myself mentally, remind myself not to tell the story about my molars...
Gigi 他不来了 Gigi, he's not coming.
但是你可以告诉我你磨牙的事 我想听 But you can tell me the story about the molars. I'd love to hear it.
嘿 Hey.
还没见面 就已经不喜欢我了? How could he already not like me?
是我搞砸了 我告诉Bill今天是星期四 是我的错 I screwed up. I told Bill it was Thursday, not Tuesday. It's my fault.
嗨 你还好吗? Hi. Are you good?
- 能给我杯加冰的詹姆士威士忌吗? - 没问题 - Can I get a Jameson on the rocks? - Sure.
可怕 我要和一个分不清是星期几的人相亲 Awesome. I'm stuck with a guy who can't distinguish Tuesday from Thursday.
你看 那个女孩 她可能遇见了她的真命天子 Meanwhile, this girl, she's probably meeting her soul mate as we speak.
- 就是那个女孩? - 嗯 - This one right here? - Mm-hm.
哦 天哪 不是 Oh, God, no.
你怎么知道? How do you know?
那个男的 装得像汤姆克鲁斯似的? The guy working the Tom Cruise thing?
她对他很有兴趣 但他完全没有 She's interested, he's clearly not.
你不能匆匆一瞥 就说他没兴趣 You cannot tell from a cursory glance that he's not into her.
事实上 我能 这种事我每晚都屡见不鲜 Actually, I can. I see this stuff going on every night.
看着 她继续说着无趣的话题 Watch this. She's going on about her macrobiotic diet.
而他在想 "上帝啊 让我脱身吧" He's thinking, "Dear Christ, get me out of here. "
看 多么美妙的意外 And look, how fortuitous.
酒洒出来了 真是完美 因为现在... Drinks spill, which is perfect for him, because now...
他可以去肩膀上有纹身的女孩那儿了 He can move on to the girl with the shoulder tattoo.
大哥 你太有才了 Man, you have a gift.
现在 看看另一边的可怜虫 Now check out Droopy Dog on the other side.
他会给她买单 但她坚信和他擦不出火花 He's gonna buy her drinks all night and she's still gonna insist there's no spark.
也许不是 你需要一点火花 Maybe there's not. You need a spark.
哦 火花这种事就是胡说八道 Oh, the spark thing is bullshit.
- 真的? - 胡说八道 - Really? - Bullshit.
教教我 Enlighten me.
男人发明了火花这一说 Guys invented the spark...
因为这样 他们就可以不打电话 可以对你很冷淡 让你捉摸不透 ...so they could not call and treat you kind of badly and keep you guessing...
然后哄你相信 你对此自然而然产生的焦虑和害怕 ...then convince you that that anxiety and fear that just develops naturally...
是一种火花 ...was actually just a spark.
而你们这些女人照单全收 完全相信 还很喜欢 And you guys all buy it. You eat it up and you love it.
你们喜欢是因为你们偶像剧看多了 就喜欢这种情节 You love it because you feed off that drama. You all love that drama.
我不这样 I don't.
那么你从来没有等到交稿或电话账单的最后期限? So you never wait until the last minute on a deadline or a phone bill...
你要知道自己是否能成功 ...because secretly you love the drama...
所以才喜欢这种情节 ...of not knowing whether or not you're gonna make it?
也许是吧 Maybe.
我猜猜看 And let me guess:
那晚你和Conor见完面后 When you were stalking Conor the other night...
你有没有一遍又一遍 ...were you obsessing about him calling...
时刻关注他的来电 一连几天紧盯着电话 ...constantly pacing back and forth, staring at your phone for days...
甚至会想 这次约会就这样了? ...even though the date was just kind of mediocre?
好吧 没错 Okay. Yeah.
因为你期待电视剧里的情节 谢谢 Because you all thrive on the drama. Thank you.
听着 你该学学我 如果一个女孩喜欢我 很好 Look, you gotta be more like me. If a girl likes me, great.
但如果她不喜欢我 外面女孩还多的是 明白? But if not, there are plenty more out there like her, you know?
不要在一棵树上吊死 With smaller pores and bigger implants.
- 说的太好了 - 我知道 - That's beautiful. - I know.
你为什么总是教我这些约会的技巧? Why are you sharing all of this inside dating information with me again?
不知道 我喜欢你 I don't know, I like you.
真的? You do?
是 但别在本子里划满我的名字 好吗? Well, yeah. Okay, don't start doodling my name on your binder, okay?
我只是... 我就像喜欢猎犬那样喜欢你 I just mean- I mean, I like you the way I like basset hounds.
有时你可怜他们 想让他们振作起来 Something pathetic about them. You just wanna cheer them up.
再说一说! 很实用 Again with the sensitivity.
敬实用 To sensitivity.
看上去不错 It looks good.
是的 Yeah.
不错 Yeah.
- 他手艺不错啊 - 的确 - He does good work. - Yeah, he does.
真不错 Very nice.
- Javier? - 嗯 - Javier? - Yeah.
Javier...
如果我问你一个问题 ...if I asked you an honest question...
你会坦率的回答我吗? ...do you think you could give me an honest answer?
- 当然会 - 很好 很好 - I think so. - Good, good.
我怀疑你的人在抽烟 Because I think some of your guys might be smoking.
Javier?
- 这是个问题? - 是的 - Is that the question? - Yes.
- 听上去像是陈述 - 其中暗含疑问 - Seemed like a statement. - The question part's implied.
我听不出其中有疑问的语气 I really didn't hear it in the inflection.
Javier...
你的人到底 ...have you guys been smoking...
有没有抽烟? ...or not?
不会的 夫人 他们不会在工作场所抽烟的 他们很守纪律 No, ma'am. My guys, they don't smoke on the job site. They're good guys.
你确定你的人 Are you sure your guys haven't been...
从来没有躲起来 ...sneaking around here?
抽烟? And smoking?
或者说谎? And lying to me?
对抽烟的事? And smoking?
我保证他们没有抽烟 I'm pretty sure.
我需要你说实话 Javier I need you to be honest with me, Javier.
因为我不喜欢别人骗我 Because I can't have someone lying to me.
当着我的面 站在我的房檐下 占用我的时间 To my face, under my roof, on my time.
规矩还挺多 That's a lot of prepositions.
我是说 其实没必要说谎 对吗? I mean, there's no reason for that kind of dishonesty, is there?
我们双方有承诺 I mean, we made promises to each other.
我们签了合同 I mean, we have a contract.
这就是一份承诺 不是吗? That's like making promises. Isn't it?
也许我该回去开工了 Maybe I should get back to work.
是的 没错 Oh, yeah. Right, yeah.
很好 That's great, yeah.
- Javier? - 嗯 - Javier? - Yeah.
我们没事吧 对吗? 你和我 We're good. Right? You and me.
- 是 是的 没事 - 很好 - Oh, yeah, yeah. We're good. - Oh, good.
很好 Okay, that's great.
他工作做的很好 Yeah, he did great work.
嘿 Hey.
欢迎大家 感谢大家的到来 我是Conor Welcome, everybody. Thanks for coming. I'm Conor.
有空请来签个名 请大家把这儿当成自己的家 Sign in when you get a second. Make yourselves at home.
我们准备了一些糕点 冰饮 请自便 We got some cookies over here, some cold beverages. Help yourself.
Conor 你真是房地产界的Liza Minnelli Conor, you are the Liza Minnelli of real estate.
- 你朋友Mary真是个天才 - 我知道 她很棒 - I know. Your friend Mary's a genius. - I know, she's so great.
我得走了 我想 要说再见了 Well, I gotta go, so I guess I'll see you later.
什么 你还有课? What, you got a class, or...?
是的 不 就是有点事 Yeah. No. No, just something.
- 要做 - 好吧... - Stuff I gotta do. Okay. Well...
- 再见 - 好吧 - I'll see you. Okay. Bye. - Okay.
好了 再见 Okay. Bye.
- 再见 - 好 给我打电话 - See you later. All right. Call me.
怎么了? What?
她有事瞒着你 对吧? She's holding out on you, isn't she?
不知道你在说什么 Not quite sure I get your meaning.
很明显她不会和你上床 It's obvious she won't sleep with you.
一切都写在你可怜的脸上 It's written all over your puppy-dog face.
- 我很难过 我快死了 - 来块饼干吧 - It's killing me, literally. I'm dying. - Here, have a cookie.
不用 我很冷静 No, I'm cool.
我不知道她在做什么 读不懂她 I don't know what she's doing. I cannot read her signals.
我们以前一直睡在一起 We used to sleep together all the time.
骗你们的 不知道我为什么那么说 That's not true. I don't know why I said that.
虽然不是一直 但我们的确睡过 不完全是编的 It wasn't all the time, but it happened. I know I'm not just making this up.
接着莫名其妙就结束了 但她还会给我打电话 And then out of nowhere it just stops. But she still calls.
她想让我帮她按摩 她就给我留言 She wants a massage. She leaves cute messages.
但没有其它发展 她在干嘛? But it's not going anywhere. What is she doing?
实话说 我俩也看不出来 Honestly, we may not have the best insight.
同性恋之间的暗示和异性恋不一样 Gay signals have nothing to do with straight signals.
对 完全不一样 He's right. The signals are totally different.
比如暗示 "我想和你上床" Like, here. Here's "I wanna sleep with you. "
一 二 三 One, two, three.
就这样 三秒钟左右 就成了 That's it, three seconds or more, it's on.
再如暗示 "我不想和你上床" And here's "I don't wanna sleep with you. "
一 二... One, two...
- 不 我不玩 走开 - 就这么简单 - Nope, thanks for playing, move along. - It's that simple.
对 这些帮不了我 You're right, that didn't help me at all.
嗯 不过 我可以告诉你: All right, well, I can tell you this:
不管同性恋还是异性恋 不主动就完蛋 Gay or straight, you're not gonna get anywhere by being inactive.
她喜欢你 也许她希望你拿出男子气 采取行动 She likes you. Maybe she just wants you to be a man and do something.
给我拿块葡萄干饼 好吗? Hit me up with an oatmeal raisin, will you?
- 谢谢 - 给 - Thanks. - Here you go.
如果女孩喜欢你 就会和你上床 If a girl's into you, she's sleeping with you.
如果一个月后 至多两个月后... If after a month, or two months at the very outside...
... 她不和你上床? ...she's not sleeping with you?
她就不喜欢你 She doesn't like you.
办法是尽早看懂一个女孩 The trick is to spot this girl early.
不要浪费一到七周的时间 却一无所获 Don't wanna waste the one to seven weeks waiting to find out it's never gonna happen.
所以我总结了助于读懂女孩的迹象 So I've come up with some signs about how to spot this girl.
以下迹象说明她不会和你上床 A girl will never sleep with you...
她叫你"小可爱"或"可靠男" ...if she calls you "cuddly" or "dependable. "
她在你面前挤粉刺... If she pops a zit in front of you...
... 她说她名叫Amber或Christine... ...if her name is Amber or Christine...
... 她在你浴室上大号... ...if she takes a dump in your bathroom...
...她把约会没吃完的打包回家 一次 两次 或三次 ...or she takes home leftovers on dates one, two, or three.
我知道这不科学... I know it's not scientific...
...但我还是要说 悠着点儿 ...but I'm just saying, you were warned.
等等 停一下 Wait, stop.
怎么了? What?
见鬼 Shit.
怎么了? What?
我深深被你吸引了 I am so into you.
说实话 我从未有过这感觉 Seriously, I've never felt like this before.
我必须让自己停止想你 I have to actively stop my brain from thinking about you.
一直在努力 Like, all the time.
为什么要停止? Why stop?
因为我不做这样的事 Because I don't do stuff like this.
什么事? Stuff like what?
和妻子以外的女人们上床 Like sleep with women that aren't my wife.
首先 我不是女人们 是一个女人 First of all, I am not "women," I'm just one.
其次呢? And second of all?
没有其次 Oh, I didn't have a second of all.
我还期待这"其次"会让我好受些 I was hoping "second of all" would make me feel better.
其次... Second of all...
... 我也无法停止想你 ...I can't stop thinking about you either.
他为了我离开他妻子 真疯狂 He's totally leaving his wife for me. That's crazy.
太疯狂了 我们彼此还不太了解 That's crazy. We hardly know each other.
我不懂 看看Becca I don't know. I mean, look at Becca.
我妹妹的朋友 You know, my sister's friend.
在餐厅遇见一个服务生... One guy waits on her at Bennigan's...
... 一顿饭后 他俩就知道彼此找到了真爱 ...and by the end of the meal, they both knew they had found the one.
对 你是对的 这些有可能发生 对吧? You're right. You're totally right. I mean, it could happen, right?
不会发生在我身上 Not for me.
那个爱发短信的家伙呢? What about texter?
和他都是文字接触 Texter has yet to make verbal contact.
这家伙可能做过手术 切掉了喉... I mean, this guy could've had surgery, leaving him without a voice box...
... 用气孔呼吸... ...breathing through a stoma...
... 我不清楚 因为我还没听过他的声音 ...and I would never know because I've never actually heard his voice.
我怀疑他气孔都没有 Well, I doubt he has a stoma.
重点是 我讨厌发短信 That's not the point. I can't text.
你知道 短信展现不出我的魅力 You know, I'm not charming via text.
那你就别再发短信了 Maybe you should just stop texting.
我不仅讨厌短信 还讨厌电子邮件 语音留言 慢邮 But it's not just texting, it's e-mail. It's voicemail. It's snail mail.
都是正常的通讯方式 That's regular mail.
总之 这些都没用 Whatever. None of it's working.
曾有个家伙在我公司电话上留言 我回家打给他 I had this guy leave me a voicemail at work, so I called him at home.
接着他给我发了手机邮件 所以我又回了短信 And then he e-mailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell.
接着他往我家里发电子邮件 一切都失控了 Then he e-mailed me to my home account and the whole thing just got out of control.
我好怀念只有一个电话号码 一部电话应答机的日子 And I miss the days where you had one phone number and one answering machine.
电话应答机只能放一盒录音带... And that one answering machine housed one cassette tape...
... 录音带里要么有 要么没有男人的口信 ...and that one cassette tape either had a message from the guy or it didn't.
而现在必须查看所有的通讯方式... And now you have to go around checking all these different portals...
... 还常常操作不成功 ...just to get rejected by seven different technologies.
太累了 It's exhausting.
那个上MySpace的家伙呢? What about that MySpace guy?
- Jude 我喜欢他 - 好啊 - Jude. I like him. - Good.
我感觉我们心有灵犀 Yeah, I felt like we connected.
不错啊 Great.
万一她要你吻她呢? What if she wants you to kiss her?
那我就不得不吻她 Well, then I guess I'm just gonna have to kiss her.
"Amanda Jones可不嫩... "Amanda Jones is no minor leaguer...
... 不会被你业余级的吻弄得不能自已" ...who'll be swept off her feet at the touch of your amateur lips. "
她可是久经情场 This babe has plenty of battle scars.
你好? Hello?
嗨 你在家啊 Oh, hey, you're home.
不然我该在哪儿? Where am I supposed to be?
出去玩? 今天周末 Out, maybe? It's Saturday night.
你不让我和不喜欢我的男孩出去 结果就没人了 You won't let me go out with guys who don't like me. It's kind of limiting.
听着 我只是想给你留个话 Right. Listen, I was just gonna leave a message.
我下周末要办个聚会 你会来吧 I'm having a party next weekend. You should come.
不知道 Conor会去吗? 会有点尴尬 Oh, I don't know. Won't Conor be there? Might be kind of awkward.
他在华盛顿开会 到时会有很多单身男人哦 He's at a real-estate conference in D.C. But there'll be a lot of single guys.
那就会碰到更多让我尴尬的人了 So there will be plenty of chances for me to be awkward.
别担心 有我呢 我会帮你的 Don't worry, I'll be there. I'll talk you through it.
好了 我挂了 Okay, gotta go.
好像有一堆盘子摔破了 到时候见吧 Someone just dropped like 84,000 plates. Maybe I'll see you there.
你真忙 我不该打给你的 不 是你打给我的 You're busy. I shouldn't have called. You called me.
- 是的 - 再见 - Yup, good. - Bye.
怎么...? 怎么做? How-? How do you work on it?
把我当成女孩 好吗? Pretend I'm a girl, okay?
我是说... I mean...
... 把我当成那个 ...pretend I'm her.
Amanda.
他喜欢上我了 He's into me.
太棒了 我就知道 Awesome. I knew it.
- 这次是谁? - Alex - Who's this now? - Alex.
我彻底明白了 他是Watts It's totally clear to me now. He's Watts.
- 他是什么? - 电影妙不可言的女主角 - He's what? - From Some Kind of Wonderful.
Watts是女演员Mary扮演的 I thought Mary Stuart Masterson was Watts.
- 对 - 为什么你不是Watts? - Yes. - So why aren't you Watts?
我是男主角Eric Stoltz I'm Eric Stoltz.
Alex是Watts 因为Watts搓合了男主角和女孩Amanda Alex is Watts. Watts helps Eric Stoltz go on a date with Amanda Jones.
其实她爱着男主角 Really, she's in love with Eric Stoltz.
所以Amanda是Conor? So Amanda Jones is Conor?
也许 总之这不是重点 I guess. At first. Now men in general, but that's not the point.
重点是他喜欢上我了 The point is he's into me.
我就知道他花时间陪你 肯定有原因 I knew there had to be some reason why he was spending that time with you.
对 很明显 有许多迹象 I know. It's so obvious now. There are so many signs.
迹象 爱的迹象 快告诉我 我喜欢听 Signs. Love signs. You gotta tell me about the signs. I love signs.
开始不明显 我第一次打给他 他说"很高兴你打来" First they were small. At first when I called, he said, "Good to hear from you. "
- 非常好的迹象 - 是吗? - Totally good sign. - Right?
第二次打去 他正和一个女人... And then the next time I called he was with a woman...
... 但他接了电话 我们聊了一阵 ...but he took the call and we talked for a while.
- 你怎么知道是女人 - 他叫她"宝贝" - You know it was a woman? - Called her "babe. "
男人不会晾着眼前的女人 去接另一个女人的电话 除非... Okay, a guy doesn't leave a woman to go talk to another woman unless he's...
这就很明显了 And it gets more obvious.
他介绍给我的男人 并无其人 I mean, please. There was no guy he was gonna fix me up with.
其实就是他自己 The fix-up was him.
不会吧 No.
会 他出现的时候 这个Bill的虚构人物并没来 Yes. He shows up without this fictitious Bill character.
倒是我和他来了场约会 The two of us basically have a date.
接着他打电话邀我参加在他家的聚会 And then he calls and invites me to a party at his place.
他果然喜欢你 He so likes you.
真为你感到高兴 I'm so happy for you.
我们来为你的婚礼挑个地方 Let's look up places for your destination wedding.
喜欢纳帕谷吗? How do you feel about Napa Valley?
我一直想去那儿 I have really always wanted to go there.
噢 他很可爱 Oh, he's cute.
闷骚又敏感 Yeah. Smoldering but sensitive.
"我只有一把吉它 和弦 和真心" Oh. "All I have is my guitar, these chords, and the truth. "
Bon Jovi.
- 不错 - 我喜欢他 - That's hot. - Yeah. I like him.
可能他没给我打电话 是因为昨晚我们才喝了咖啡 I mean, he probably hasn't called yet because we just had coffee last night.
- 是吗? - 是的 - Really? Yeah, you know.
我们视频聊天时 手上正拿着咖啡 I mean, we actually video iChatted while holding coffee.
一回事 不是吗? But that's the same thing, right?
- 对 对 - 查查你的电话留言 - Right, right. - Just call your voicemail.
昨晚他有个演奏会 可能很晚才回家 Yeah, but he had a gig last night and he probably didn't get home till late.
- 我告诉你们他是个歌手了吗? - 嗯 - Did I tell you he's a singer? - Mm-hm.
- 查一查 - 不 用免提 - Just call. Oh, honey, no, on speaker.
别这样 肯定没有留言 I don't think so. I'm sure he hasn't called.
- 查一查 - 好吧 - Just call him. - Okay.
- 您有两条新留言 - 嗯 You have two new messages. Oh.
Mary
Whoa, Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary
噢 我的Mary Oh, my Mary
我刚才太刻薄了 I just got hard.
嗨 Mary 我是Jude Hey, Mary, it's Jude.
我打来是想说 认识你让我有种特别的感觉 I was just calling to tell you again how special it was to meet you.
给我回电话 拜拜 So call me back. Bye-bye.
太棒了 Amazing.
- 太好了 太好了 - 太... This is good, this is good. - This is...
看 他打了 See, he called.
JUDE Jenny
Whoa, Jenny, Jenny, Jenny
嗨 Jenny 我是Jude 我打来是想告诉你... Hey, Jenny, it's Jude. I was just calling to-
噢 见鬼 这不是刚打过的号吗? Whoa, shit. What number did I just dial?
留言已清空 All messages erased.
那个 That one.
- 确定? - 嗯 - You sure? - Yeah.
错 这是压制板 No. It's a laminate.
- 不是硬木板? - 嗯 - That's not real hardwood floor? - Nope.
看起来很像 不过价钱只有硬木的百分之一 It looks exactly like it. But it is like one one-hundredth of the cost.
噢 Oh.
我还是想要实木的 I still wanna go with the real wood.
啊? 你连区别都看不出来 What? You can't even tell the difference.
那不重要 It's not the point.
那重要的是什么? Well, what is the point?
我... I just...
我不喜欢它伪装实木 I don't like the way it's pretending to be wood.
如果不是实木 就别装得像 If you're not wood, don't try and look like wood.
我不认为这是伪装 I don't think that it's pretending.
这是造假 Ben This is a lie, Ben.
应该站出来 做真正的自己 Just be up front and tell people what you really are.
好 你是对的 Okay, you're right. You're right.
我很抱歉 I'm sorry.
好了 我们去看看烤炉就回家吧 It's okay. Maybe we should just go look at the grills and we'll come back.
好的 Okay.
我和别人上床了 I slept with someone.
- 我说... - 我听见了 - I said- - I heard you.
你在这里告诉我是因为 你知道我不喜欢公开吵闹 You tell me this in Home Depot because you know I hate a public scene.
不 不是这个原因 No, that is not why I'm telling-
我早知道 I knew it.
我知道 I knew it.
- 你这混蛋 - 抱歉 - You asshole. - I'm sorry.
烟也是你抽的 对吗? It is you that's been smoking too, isn't it?
啊...? 跟有抽烟有什么关系? Wha-? Wait, what does that even matter?
你是不是...?! Have you-?!
你是不是一直在抽烟? Have you been smoking?
不 没有 No. No, I haven't.
我和Neil聊过 我告诉他了 I talked to Neil. I told him.
他说我可以去他船上住阵子 He said I could stay at his boat for a while.
你说什么? Excuse me?
你现在要搬出去? Now you're moving out?
- 你想要离开我? - 不 - You're, like, leaving me? - No.
不 我只是以为你不想让我… No, I just assumed that you wouldn't want me to-
我们不解决这个问题吗? Aren't we gonna deal with this?
你不想找些方法... Don't you wanna find some way...
来解决这个问题? ...for us to work through this?
我以为我告诉你这些 你就会让我... I assumed that when I told you, you would want me...
搬出去 ...out.
这是你想要的吗? Is that what you want?
不 No.
好 Okay.
你们做得很好 You're doing a great job.
哦 天哪 是Bridget 嗨! Oh, my gosh, it's Bridget. Hi!
噢 天哪 Oh, my goodness.
啊 好漂亮的狗呀 Oh, what a beautiful dog.
说真的 Devon 我觉得你刚才在宣誓的时候 有那么一瞬间的犹豫 Seriously, Devon, I really did feel just a moment, a splash, of hesitation.
不 不是的 我一点都没犹豫 No, there wasn't. There wasn't any hesitation at all.
你又来了 又停顿了 You just did it again. That was a pause.
我没有停顿 I did not pause.
你一定是Beth吧 You must be Beth.
是的 Yeah. Yeah.
从Paige那听到你很多事 Heard a lot about you from Paige.
她游说我好几周了 让我一定要在婚礼时和她的单身妹妹坐一起 Actually been lobbying to sit next to her single sister for weeks.
是吗? Oh, yeah?
所以你一定是 So you must be:
"Dan. "
差不多吧 Sort of.
- 差不多? - 嗯 实际上我是一个巫术迷信者 - Sort of? - Well, I'm actually a Wiccan.
什么？巫术迷信者 - A what? - A Wiccan.
巫术迷信者？ Wiccan?
- 也就是男巫师 - 好吧 - Male witch. - Right.
我还有个带有魔法色彩名字 So I also have a magical name.
就是Brother Phoenix East-Horse It's Brother Phoenix East-Horse.
但我不知道这个名字适不适合放在名片上 我很喜欢它 But I didn't know if that would fit on the card. Love that.
我猜今晚我会听到很多关于你的事情 I'm guessing that I'm gonna hear a whole lot about you.
一些基督诞生前的异教徒事迹 没错 Nature-based pre-Christian paganism, yeah.
是的 这太棒了 Yeah. That's fantastic.
那么从哪儿开始讲起呢? Well, where to begin?
首先 那不仅仅是一群无知的农民 我的神啊 Well, first off, it's not just a bunch of nude farming. Dad.
- 哇哦 - 来看看史前巨石柱 - Wow. - Let's look at Stonehenge.
明显不是巧合 Obviously not a coincidence.
他们没有机器来移动这些石头 它们太巨大了 They didn't have the machinery to move those rocks. They're huge.
- 是的 是很重 - 当然 - Yeah, they're heavy. - Of course.
- 我是Nathan 这位是Bruce - 我是Gigi - I'm Nathan. And this is Bruce. - Gigi.
- Gigi 嗨 - 嗨 - Gigi. Hi. - Hey.
你们是怎么认识Alex的? So how do you guys know Alex?
不认识 我们的朋友Mary从Conor那知道的 We don't. Our friend Mary heard about this from some guy named Conor.
你是怎么认识Alex? And how do you know Alex?
我希望… I hope-
我很肯定我们之间会发生点什么 I'm pretty sure that something's about to happen between us.
- 哦噢 - 哦 Ooh. Oh.
那你在这 是作为客人 还是他的约会对象? So are you here as, like, a guest, or, like, his date?
我讨厌这样 不知道自己是不是在约会 Oh, I hate that. When you don't know if you're a date.
你不知道自己是否应该带朋友来 或者像他一样去招待大家... You don't know if you should bring a friend, or are you co-hosting...
或者是不是应该等到最后 好有些独处时间? ...or should you stay to the end to have some alone time?
他没说 不过我想可能不仅仅是个客人 He didn't say. I'm sure I'm more than just a guest.
- 我是说 有很多迹象表明了这一点 - 真棒 - I mean, there have been signs. - Cool.
那么Neil去哪了? So where's Neil?
我们分手了 We broke up.
- 不会吧 - 是真的 - No way. - Yeah.
你们在一起有十年了吧? You guys were together, what, like 10 years?
七年 但是也是一段很长的时间 Seven. But still, it's a long time.
是呀 Yeah.
表亲不能结婚真是太糟了 不然我们就有可能… It's too bad cousins can't marry, because then we could maybe-
Oh, Dominic.
- 你这个口无遮拦的家伙 - 不 - Gross. - No.
Ken 你还好吗? 出了什么事? Ken, are you okay? What happened?
哦 天哪 Oh, my God.
- Ken 你还好吗? - 他一直抓着自己的胸口 Ken, are you all right? Just clutched his chest.
他站在那里 然后突然就… He was standing there and all of a sudden-
- Ken 试着呼吸 - 打急救电话 Ken, just try to breathe. Call 911.
爸爸 不好意思 请让一下 Dad. Excuse me.
爸爸 这是怎么回事? 出什么事了? 出什么事了? Daddy, what is it? What happened? What happened?
- 伙计们 过来! - 怎么了? - Guys, come here! What happened?
爸爸 躺下 好不好? Daddy, lay down, okay?
- 他晕倒了吗? - 你会没事的 Did he fall? You'll be fine.
大伙 有没有人看见发生什么事了? You guys, did anybody see what happened?
- 就在那 快去拿过来 – 好的 Over there. Just go get it. - Okay.
嘿 嘿 我不知道这里居然这么吵 Hey, hey. I had no idea it'd be such a madhouse.
嗨 好棒的聚会 Hey. Great party.
谢谢 有没有哪个男士瞄上你了? 今天来了很多 Thanks. Did any guys hit on you? A lot of them here.
要不要帮你参谋下他们对你的感兴趣程度? You need me to evaluate any level of interest?
他们是同性恋 应该对我没什么兴趣 They were gay. Even I know their level of interest was probably low.
嗨 Skilo! Hey, Skilo!
很遗憾Bill今天不能来 我知道你们会很合得来的 It's too bad Bill couldn't make it. I know you guys would hit it off.
好吧 "Bill" Okay, right. "Bill. "
是的 Right.
听着 我要去弄些酒 但是食物需要随时补充 Listen, I gotta go make a liquor run, but the food needs some refreshing.
- 能不能请你帮忙装...? - 帮着招待? - Would you mind helping and refilling-? - Like co-hosting?
是的 Okay, yeah.
当然 Sure.
把薯条装满 冰箱里有 Just refilling the chips. They're on the fridge.
谢谢 Thanks.
- 嗨 甜心 能给我瓶啤酒吗? - 我去给你拿 Hey, sweetie, get me a beer? - I'll get you another.
- 嗨 伙计 - 真棒 - Hi, guys. - Nice.
Hey, Linda.
- 这聚会太棒了 - 哦 谢谢 - Really great party. - Oh, thanks.
当Alex说他想办个聚会 我说"那就做吧!" You know, when Alex said he wanted to throw a party, I was like, "Let's do it!"
- 谢谢你们的邀请 - 别客气了 随时欢迎 - Thanks for having us. - No problem, any time.
要我帮你找东西吗? Can I help you find something?
哦 不用 没关系的 我找到了 Oh, no, it's okay. I got it.
谢谢你帮忙搅拌 Thanks for mixing that up.
什么? What?
Alex让我把调料搅拌在一起 谢谢你帮忙 Alex asked me to get the dip together. Thanks for getting it started.
应该多用一点茴香 It could use a little more dill.
不过我能搞定 别担心 I'm on it, though, don't worry.
来吧 孩子 把球传到篮下 Come on, my boy. Take it home.
干得好 我的Marbury Franchise player. My boy Marbury.
- 15秒 - 走吧 Fifteen seconds. Let's go.
- 哦 通过了 - 你玩得挺认真啊 Oh, a pass. You work too hard.
我想我已经把剩下的啤酒瓶都集中起来了 Well, I think I've rounded up the last of the beer bottles.
- 哦 你们在玩什么? - 抱歉 Nash - Oh, what game are we playing? - Oh, sorry, Nash.
- 来吧 - 来吧 来吧 - Oh, come on. - Come on, come on.
- Nash 你真是个蠢货 来吧 - 或许我应该... Nash, you piece of shit. Come on. - Maybe I should just-
- 现在已经3点多了 所以... – 好 就这样 - It's past 3, so... Okay, swat it.
看这个 准备好了吗? Watch this. Ready?
- 然后... – 哦 不 不 不! - And... Oh, no, no, no!
好 干得好 太棒了 Yes. Suck it. Yes.
你真是... 你真是太厉害了 Oh, you are- You're sensational.
- 是的 我知道 - 老天 - Yeah, I know. - Jesus.
真不知道我为什么要跟你较量 I don't know why I bother.
- 你刚才说现在已经3点多了? - 是的 - Did you say it's past 3? - Yeah.
- 哦 朋友 我该走了 嘿 玩得很开心 - 好的 - Oh, man, I gotta go. Hey, good game. - All right.
- 再见 - 再见 Bye. GIGl: Bye.
谢谢你留在这里帮我清理 Hey, thanks for staying and helping me clean up.
但我真想赶紧上床睡觉去 I really gotta go to bed, though.
这是个邀请吗? Is that an invitation?
什么? What?
哦 老天 这招太俗了 Oh, God, that was cheesy.
哦 我不太擅长这些 Oh, I'm not good at this.
什么? What?
Hey.
哦 是的 我知道的 Oh, yes. I knew it.
最好的恋情是发展自友谊的 The best relationships grow out of friendships.
等等 等等 Gigi Wait, wait, wait. Gigi.
等等 等等 等等 Wait, wait, wait.
什么? What?
现在你跟我在谈恋爱? Now you and I are in a relationship?
恩 我想说 即使我们不是在谈恋爱... Well, I'd say if we're not at relationship station-ship...
至少我们已经朝这方面发展了 ...we're at least on the track.
为什么你会这么想? And why exactly would you think that?
因为这些信号 Because of the signs.
是吗 比如什么? Really, like what?
比如 你说接到我的来电很高兴... Like, it was good to hear from me...
当你跟其他女孩在一起时还跟我聊天... ...and you talked to me even when you were with a girl...
我能感觉到 ...and I felt something.
哦 天 Oh, man.
你在说什么? What are you talking about?
Gigi 不记得我都跟你说过些什么吗? Gigi, what have I been saying since I met you?
如果男人想约你 他会主动 对不? 他会约你出去 If a guy wants to date you, he will make it happen, okay? He will ask you out.
我约你了吗? Did I ask you out?
没有 No.
你为什么这么做? Why would you do this?
哦 真该死 Oh, shit.
为什么女人会这样? 这样想当然... Why do women do this? Build up this stuff in their minds...
把男人做的一点点小事曲解成别的东西? ...take each little thing a guy does, and then twist it into something else?
简直不可理喻 It's insane.
我宁愿那样 也不想像你一样 I'd rather be like that than be like you.
你说什么? Excuse me?
那是什么意思? What is that supposed to mean?
我可能是很喜欢仔细琢磨每件小事... I may dissect each little thing...
翻来覆去地想 ... ...and put myself out there too much...
但至少代表我还在乎 ...but at least that means I still care.
哦 你以为不在乎女人就是赢了? Oh, you think you've won because women are expendable to you?
这样你也许不会伤害到你自己或者让自己出丑... You may not get hurt or make an ass of yourself that way...
但同时你也不会尝到爱情的滋味 ...but you don't fall in love that way either.
你没有赢 You have not won.
你还是一个人 Alex You're alone, Alex.
我可能做了该死的蠢事... I may do a lot of stupid shit...
但我知道我会比你更快找到另一半 ...but I know I'm a lot closer to finding someone than you are.
还要别的吗? Do you want anything else?
当然 少一些硬纸板 多些人吃的东西 Yeah, less of the cardboard crap and more regular people food.
嗯 那个硬纸板是我们常说的全麦吐司 Well, that cardboard crap is what we call whole-wheat toast.
或许你能给我煎一些香肠 Well, maybe you could just fry me up a couple of sausage links.
对于刚刚突发心脏病的人来说... People who have just had a heart attack are generally not advised...
最好不要吃这种富含动物脂肪的东西 ...to have animal fat that's been stuffed into a synthetic casing.
嗨 Beth 去厨房的时候给我拿瓶啤酒 好吗? Hey, Beth. Grab me a beer when you get to the kitchen, okay?
再来一点冷盘 如果还有剩的话 And a little plate of cold cuts, if there are any left.
你们这些家伙能不能把声音关小点? 爸爸要睡了 Hey, would you guys please just turn that down a bit? Dad's trying to sleep.
你觉得他会舍不得这些黑胶碟吗? You think he wants to hang on to this vinyl?
我很希望它们加入我的藏品行列 My collection could use a lot of these.
该死 能不能关掉? Would you just turn it the fuck down?
我们的卫生纸用完了... Well, we're totally out of toilet paper...
能吃的也只有果冻和一些意大利面 ...and all we have left to eat is some old jelly and some ramen noodles.
爸爸都还没死呢 我们的新兄弟就想分财产了 And our new brother would like to co-opt Dad's property before he's even dead.
Laura你的老公还想再要瓶啤酒... Laura, also your husband would really like another beer...
他已经连续玩那个在线高尔夫5个小时了 ...to go with his fifth consecutive hour of the golf network.
你好吗? Are you okay?
不要担心 亲爱的 爸爸会没事的 Don't worry, honey, Dad's gonna be fine.
- 你知道她是谁吗? - 不 GIGl: Do you know who it is? - No.
无所谓了 Doesn't matter.
你要离开他吗? So are you gonna leave him?
Gigi 他是我老公 Gigi, he's my husband.
他不是那些不给你回电话的男人 He's not some guy who didn't call me back.
他跟我坦白了 He did admit it to me.
他没有等到被抓到才说 这是需要勇气的 你知道吗? He didn't wait to get caught, which takes courage, you know?
抱歉 我不是那个意思 I'm sorry, I didn't mean that.
我不是那个意思 I didn't mean it.
我知道Alex不是那种人 I know that Alex wasn't just some guy.
哦 没关系 Oh, it's okay.
要知道 这是我的错 It's my fault, you know.
什么? What?
哦 我只是想我对这个烂摊子应该... Oh, I just think I need to take responsibility for my share in the whole...
应该负些责任的 你知道吗? ...mess. You know?
是我逼他结婚的 I forced him into getting married.
- 他还没准备好 - Janine 这不是你的错 - You know, he wasn't ready. - Janine, this isn't your fault.
不 是这样的 我变了 No, it is. It is, I've changed.
我曾经... I was...
很风趣 你知道吗? ...fun, you know?
当我们第一次见面时我很风趣 I was fun when we first met.
你现在也很风趣啊 You're still fun.
我们不做爱了 We don't have sex anymore.
很多夫妇都会有冷淡下来的时候 Lots of couples go through lulls.
不 我是说... No, I mean...
我们从来没有做爱 ...we never have sex.
实际上 我是说 我能怪他吗? I mean, realistically, what do I expect him to do, you know?
我觉得这真的太... I don't think that's really...
上帝啊 这瓷砖太小了 God, this tile is too small.
我得告诉Javier I have to tell Javier.
- 什么? - 这种瓷砖太小了 - What? - This tile is too small.
我得走了 别人问的话就说我今天有点私事儿 I gotta go. I have to take a personal day, if anyone asks.
嗯 我的第一任丈夫没什么特别的地方 Well, my first husband was unimpressive.
他跟他的波霸秘书被我捉奸在床 I found him in bed with his big-breasted secretary...
当我提前从马尔代夫回到家时... ...when I came home early from the Maldives.
太没创意了 It was just so unoriginal.
我都替他丢脸 Made me feel sorry for him.
我的第二任丈夫就挺有想象力的 My second husband was a pinch more creative.
背着我跟我妹妹有一腿... Cheated on me with my sister...
让我觉得自己疑心太重 不正常 ...but made me believe that I was insane for being suspicious.
所以搞外遇至少得动点儿脑筋 耍些手段 So at least some mind games, some intrigue.
可我的最后一任丈夫 真是个极品 But my last husband, he was a gem.
他是个名副其实的遮谎专家 He was a veritable master at covering his tracks.
我翻查他的通话记录 截获他的信用卡账单... I mean, I pored over his phone records, I intercepted his credit-card bills...
还在很多场合都跟踪过他... ...I had him followed on numerous occasions...
却从未发现过一丁点儿证据 ...and never found a single shred of evidence.
直到他去世后... It wasn't until he died...
我才发现他跟他澳洲情妇的一处房产 ...that I found out about the property he owned with his Austrian mistress.
但是 真正的高手 我不得不说 是我 But the real master, I have to say, is me.
三任丈夫 数不清的情人 却从未被抓到 Three husbands, countless boyfriends, I haven't been caught yet.
噢 上帝啊 噢 上帝啊 Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- 噢 上帝啊 噢 上帝啊 我不能... - 嘘 - Oh, my God, oh, my God. I can't- - Shh.
在那边 It's over there.
噢 天啊 Oh, my God.
他喜欢我的样本带 不敢相信 He liked the demo. I can't believe it.
实在难以置信 It's unbelievable.
你听到了吗? 他说那简直绕梁三日 Did you hear when he said that it was hauntingly beautiful?
当然 我在那儿呢 我在... Yeah, I was there. I was-
我在那儿呢 宝贝儿 I was there, baby.
谢谢你 Thank you.
Dana 我在工作 我正在看这些报表 你得... Dana, I'm working. I'm still going over some offering statements. You gotta-
你得过会儿再来 You gotta come back later.
我不是Dana It's not Dana.
那是你的...? Is that your-?
- 那是你的...? - 嘘 - Is that your-? - Shh.
你能到壁橱里躲一会儿吗? Can you get in the closet?
- 到壁橱里去 - 什么? - Get in the closet. - What?
赶快到壁橱里呆一会儿 就一会儿 Just go in the closet for a second. Just for a second.
Ben?
我一直对Dana说要把这破锁修好 I keep telling Dana to get that damn lock fixed.
- 你为什么要费事儿锁着门? - 什么? Why do you even bother locking it? - What?
你为什么要费事儿锁着门? Why do you bother locking it?
噢 你要知道不锁门我什么事情也做不了 Oh, you know I can't get any work done if I don't.
- 嘿 - 嗨 - Hey. - Hi.
- 我能进来吗? - 能 当然能 - Can I come in? - Yeah, of course.
你要干嘛? What are you doing?
坐下 Sit down.
好的 Okay.
亲爱的? Hon?
你要干嘛? What are you doing?
我也不知道 我只是想... I don't know. I just thought...
也许我们能... ...maybe we could-
- 抱歉 - 你没事儿吧? - Sorry. - Are you okay?
你只要转过来点儿 Maybe if you just go over there.
我只是努力想... Just trying to...
你知道 重拾激情 ...you know, re-light the fire.
噢 亲爱的 Oh, honey.
你刚没听到我说吗? 我真得弄完这些报表 Didn't you hear what I said before? I really gotta finish these offerings.
听着... Look...
我真的在努力 ...I'm really trying here.
你想要拯救我们的婚姻吗? Do you wanna save our marriage?
当然 Of course.
我也是 Me too.
Tyrone 四点到六点你来负责 可以的话给酒保帮帮忙 Tyrone, you cover 4 through 6 and pitch in with the bussers when you can.
等一下 我是八点到十点当班 Wait a minute. I'm on 8 through 10.
嘿 我在这儿干了18个月了 一直是八点到十点 Hey, I been working here 18 months, 8 through 10.
小失误 Minor oversight.
Luis 那四点到六点你来负责 Luis, you cover 4 through 6, then.
哥们儿 Luis好像十个月前就辞了 Dude, Luis quit like 10 months ago.
是啊 他辞职了 Yeah, he quit.
我们有什么必要开这个会吗? Is there any reason we're even having this meeting?
还真没有 Not really.
- 没有 我觉得没有 - 好极了 好的 好极了 - No, not for me. Great. Good. Great.
散会 Meeting adjourned.
干活去吧 Back to work.
Hey, Kelli Ann.
有我的电话吗? Did I get any calls?
自从你11分钟前问过我之后 都没有你的电话 Since you asked me 11 minutes ago, no. Not a lot of phone traffic.
- 噢 天啊 - 怎么? - Oh, my God. - What?
她叫什么名字? What's her name?
谁啊? Who?
那个女孩儿 Alex The girl, Alex.
没什么女孩儿 There's no girl.
你可藏不住 伙计 You can't hide it, man.
我知道什么是魂不守舍 你现在就是 I know strung out and you are strung out.
好了 得了吧 Okay, please.
真是不可思议 This is amazing.
你无法集中精神 对吧? You can't focus, right?
每次电话一响就跳起来 每天检查100次电子邮件... Jumping every time your phone rings, checking your e-mail 100 times a day...
恨不得自己能写歌 ...wishing you could write songs.
还有 平时谈话时感觉总想提起她的名字 No, feeling the need to bring up her name in random conversations.
感觉都是一样的 现在轮到你了 我的朋友 It's always the same and it has happened to you, my friend.
糟糕 Shit.
欢迎来到我的世界 混蛋 Welcome to my world, asshole.
我来关门 Let me get the door.
你确定我一点儿都不能吸引你? Sure I can't interest you in a little beef and broccoli?
我得把这活儿做完 I gotta finish this stuff.
好吧 Okay.
- 也是 那回家见 - 行 - Yeah. So I'll see you at home. - Okay.
I love you.
I love you too.
- 嗯 晚会儿见 再见 - 再见 - Okay. I'll see you later. Okay, bye. - Bye.
- 你真让我作呕 - 我没办法 - You make me sick. - I had no choice.
- 你们男人那套借口真让我恶心! - 我还能怎么做? - You're a disgusting excuse for a man! - What was I supposed to do?
- 你才是我想要... - 别碰我! - You're the one I wanna be- - Don't touch me!
你再也别想碰我 You will never touch me again.
Dino 再次感谢你让我通过电话付费 Dino, thanks again for letting me pay over the phone.
我向你保证这种延迟缴费的事儿再也不会有了 I assure you this late-payment thing will never happen again.
是 我正努力让我的生活少点儿戏剧性 Yep, just trying to trim some of the drama out of my life.
噢 又一个来电 Oh, that's my other line.
好的 再见 Okay, bye.
- 喂? - 嗨 Gigi? - Hello? Hi, Gigi?
我是Bill This is Bill.
- Bill? - Alex的朋友 - Bill...? - Alex's friend.
我们本该见过面的 但是Alex给我说错了日期 We were supposed to meet up but Alex told me the wrong day.
Bill 你还真存在啊 Bill, so you do exist.
我存在啊 I do.
你愿意的话 我很想请你吃顿晚饭 And I'd love to buy you dinner sometime if you're still game.
行啊 Yes.
当然 为什么不? Sure, why not?
Hey.
来了 我来了 我来了 Coming, I'm coming, I'm coming.
嗨 嗨 亲爱的 Hi. Hi, sweetie.
你刚才为什么叫我 "亲爱的"? See, why did you just call me "sweetie"?
- 我们之间一直都是这么叫的 - 为什么? - We always call each other that. - Why?
好吧 听着 我有话要说 好不好? All right, look, I wanna say something, okay?
我们总是叫彼此"亲爱的" We call each other "sweetie" all the time.
我们会在聊了几个小时后 睡倒在电话旁 And we fall asleep on the phone after talking for hours.
你肩膀动手术后我给你洗头等等 I washed your hair for you after you had shoulder surgery and everything.
就好像我们在一起 And it's like we're together.
- 我知道我一直... - 不 等一下 - I know that I've been- - No, hold on a second.
让我说完 Let me finish.
我想也许这都是我的错... I think maybe this is my fault...
因为我可能没有说清楚我想要的 ...because maybe I wasn't clear about exactly what I want.
所以让我... 让我说清楚 So let me- Let me be clear.
我喜欢出去玩 I love hanging out.
可你又如此吸引我 我只是... 我都想要 But I'm so attracted to you. I just- I want both.
我不知道怎么了 也不知道为什么我们没有进展 我不在乎 I don't know what happened or why we stopped. I don't care.
好吧 Okay.
- 什么? - 好吧 - What? - Okay.
不是 我是说真这样做 比如确定恋爱关系 No, I'm talking about really doing this. Like a full-on relationship.
好啊 Right.
和我 With me.
Yeah.
难道是一群同志把你逼到这份儿上了? A bunch of gay people put you up to this?
别说话了 Stop talking.
- 呆在本垒 最后一局了 - 不 他还是进了 Stay home. It's an end-around. No, no, it's not. He's still got it.
他还是进了 He's still got it.
- 真烂 - 怎么会这样? 真丢人 Shit. - Who let that happen? It's embarrassing.
- 哎呦! - 太丢人了 Argh! That is so embarrassing.
怎么了? What?
你们有谁要去商店吗? Did any of you guys have a chance to get to the store?
哦 不去 我们叫了外卖 Oh, yeah, no. We're good, we got takeout.
不是 我不是说给你们买东西 我是说... No, I didn't mean for you, I meant f-
- 好的 来吧 - 加油 防守 醒醒吧 All right, here we go. - Come on, defense, wake up.
你们是不是在搞笑啊 You have to be kidding me.
我刚做了一点儿 就很快就做完 I just got a little bit more of this I gotta finish.
有些洗好的衣服要收起来... There's some laundry I'm gonna put away...
然后还有堆衣服在烘干机里 ...then I had another load of clothes in the dryer.
我买了些你爸喜欢吃的 但都是健康食品 I did get some of the food your dad likes, but some healthy stuff too.
只是 你知道的 Just, you know.
都会好起来的 It's gonna be okay.
没事儿 It'll be okay.
膝盖再弯一点 对了 Bend your knee a little bit more. There you go.
吸气 转过来 向上看 Inhale, reverse warrior, look up.
呼气 Exhale.
嗨 您已经拨通了Ben的电话 请留下... Hi, you've reached Ben's cell phone. Please leave-
你个撒谎的混蛋! You lying sack of shit!
撒谎! Lying!
烂人! Sack!
混蛋! Shit!
好了 Okay.
打我手机 或者打我办公室电话... GIGl: - or call my cell, or try me at work...
不过请先留个消息 谢了 ...but definitely leave a message here first. Thanks.
嘿 Gigi 我是Alex Hey, Gigi, it's Alex.
过的怎么样? How's it going?
只是想知道你过的怎么样 Just wondering how you're doing.
我有段时间没跟你说上话了... I haven't talked to you in a little while...
只是想知道你过的怎么样 ...and was just wondering how you're doing.
那 嘿 我想跟你谈谈 So, hey, I was hoping to talk to you.
很显然 Obviously.
但是你出门了 我猜 But you're out, I guess.
那就什么时候给我回个电话 So just call me sometime.
今晚也行 Or tonight.
我在这儿 我会... 我就在这儿哪儿也不去 I'm around, I'll be- Well, I'm in and around.
就这些 So that's enough for now.
我是Alex It's Alex.
好了 Okay.
哥们儿 Dude.
我知道 I know.
Hey
Hey.
欢迎登船 Welcome aboard.
我可以上船吗? Might I come aboard?
你还记得这条船吧 Yeah. You remember the boat.
嗯 你知道 我应该是记得的 Well, you know, I thought I did.
- 可是 有点儿... - 有段时间了 - Or, you know, little... - But it's been a while.
你知道那个码头吗? 在那边 那儿有条船看起来跟你的一样 You know that dock? Over there, there's a boat that looks just like yours.
- 嗯哼 - 它不是你的船 Uh-huh. - It's not yours.
- 不是 那不是我的船 - 肯定不是 - No, that's not my boat. - It's definitely not.
可那儿住着一个... But there's a very nice gentleman...
很不错的绅士... ...living on the boat...
他请我喝了杯白葡萄酒 ...who invited me in for a white-wine spritzer.
噢 不错啊 Oh, good.
不知道有客人要来 Wasn't expecting visitors.
没关系 我只是来跟你说声谢谢... That's all right. I just wanted to just come by and say thanks...
谢谢你昨天来帮忙 ...for helping yesterday.
Beth 你知道的 我还是我 Beth, you know, I'm the same person.
我愿意为你做任何事 I would do anything for you.
我只是不能给你…… I just can't give you...
我只是不能给你想要的 I just can't give you what you want.
你就是我想要的 You're what I want.
我们生活在一起就是我想要的 Our life together is what I want.
我想念那段日子 I miss it.
我想你 I miss you.
你也见识过我的那些妹夫了吧... You see those guys my sisters are married to-
即使我们没有结婚... You're more of a husband to me, not being married...
但对我来说 你比那些真正的丈夫好多了 还有... ...than those real husbands are ever gonna be, and...
这就够了 我真的很满足了 It's enough. It's really enough for me.
那你愿意... And you would be willing...
完全不谈结婚的事情吗? ...to take the whole marriage thing off the table completely?
如果你答应终身相守 爱我 还有... If you promise to commit to me and to love me, and-
- 我已经这样做了啊 - 我还没说完呢 - I already have. - I'm not finished.
好的 你继续 Okay. All right.
但我已经爱你七年了... - But I've loved you for seven years- - Ah-ah.
好的 Okay.
我头发把排水管堵上的时候 你得去通 You have to snake the drain when my hair gets clogged.
你知道这事老发生 对吧? You know that happens. Okay?
Okay. Yeah.
还有... And also...
你得允许我在床上吃小麦薄饼 你得答应我 ...you have to let me eat those Wheat Thins in bed. You gotta give me that.
- 好的 没问题 - 行吗? - Okay, fine. All right. - Okay?
还有... And...
- Yeah. - And?
- 就这样 - 好的 - That's it. - Okay.
我现在能回家吗? Do I get to come home now?
我想你可以 I guess you can.
但这个不能去 But these cannot come.
- 什么 我的裤子...? - 没错 - What, my pants-? - That's correct.
- 不能穿回家? 为什么啊? - 不能 - Can't come home? Why? - No.
你刚赢了场大胜仗 亲爱的 来吧 You just won a really big battle, my friend. Come on.
所以说 我们可以不结婚 但我必须要脱掉我的裤子 So we're not gonna get married, but I have to get rid of my pants.
这样我们都赢了 Mm-hm. And we both win.
好吧 只要你喜欢 我会脱掉它的 All right. I'll get rid of them if you like.
这套房子花了你不少钱吧? You're getting a lot of bids on this place?
是啊 我知道这很疯狂 但正好附近有人转手 Yeah. I know it's crazy, but it's a neighborhood in transition.
是那种年轻的 时髦的 或者是同性恋之类的情侣吗? Is that like young, hip, gay couples or something like that?
是啊 就是那样的 Yeah. Hip gay people, young couples, young families.
Wow.
天哪 这地方使我想起了我的老家 God, this reminds me of where I grew up.
我敢打赌这儿有... I bet it's got one of the-
等一下 Wait a minute.
Oh, yeah.
是的 就是这个 Yeah, that's it.
我们以前也有个一模一样的... We used to have the exact same one...
只是我老妈把这当桌子 ...except my mom used it as a desk.
那么... So...
你请的那些家伙什么时候到呢? ...when do all the fabulous people arrive?
好吧 事实上 房子明天才开放 Well, actually, the open house is tomorrow.
但有一位买家... But I have this one buyer...
首先我希望他的女朋友能喜欢它 ...and I wanted to make sure his girlfriend likes it first.
哦 他有女朋友 哈? Oh, he has a girlfriend, huh?
是的 我有个主意 Yeah, I have an idea.
关于这个房子的 For this house.
还有我 For me.
我希望 如果你喜欢的话... And hopefully, if you like it...
我们能继续发展的话 你知道的... ...and things continue to, you know...
Anna...
我有个计划 你知道吗? ...I have a plan, okay?
我知道我要走的路 而我想让你陪我走 I know where my life is going, and I want you to go with me.
我不是在说让你马上就搬进来... I'm not saying I want you to move in right now...
但我不会买这个地方 除非... ...but I don't want to buy this place unless, at some point...
你有搬进来的可能性 ...you could see yourself moving in.
那么 你怎么想的呢? So, what do you think?
我做不到 I can't do this.
Okay.
好吧 如果这样太快了 我猜我们总可以... Well, if it's too fast, I guess we can always just-
我不能答应你任何事 I can't do any of this.
我意思是... I mean...
你所说的 还有你所提供的... ...what you're saying and what you're offering...
是每个女孩子梦寐以求的 ...is what every girl wants.
也是我一直想要的 It's what I always wanted.
只是... It's just...
我不是你想要的 You don't want it with me.
Okay.
我有个问题 I have a question.
有没有什么办法 我们可以.. Is there any way we could...
回到过去 当我们只是睡一起的时候... ...dial it back to before, when we were just sleeping together...
因为 我也说不清 我的脑子已经是一团浆糊了 ...because I don't know, I felt like that gelled.
宝贝儿？ Babe?
认识你真的很高兴 It was nice meeting you.
非常感谢你陪我度过一个美好的夜晚 Thank you so much for a lovely evening.
我也谢谢你 You too.
晚安 Good night.
你忘了什么吗? You forget something?
是的 Yeah, I did.
真的吗? 你忘记什么了? Really? What did you forget?
这个 This.
你半夜跑过来 就是为了把一只促销笔还给我吗? You came all the way here at 11:00 at night to bring me back a promotional pen?
没错 Yeah.
我只是觉得应该找点像样的借口来见你 I thought I should just come up with some really great excuse to get over here.
一般不都是这样吗? That's how it's done, isn't it?
有时候 Sometimes.
听着 我忍不住一直想你 Look, I can't stop thinking about you.
这是个问题 It's a problem.
我开车到你家 给你电话然后挂掉 I drive by your place, I call and hang up.
我好像变成了... I'm turning into-
我 Me.
是的 Yeah.
一个聪明人曾告诉过我... A wise person once told me...
如果一个男人喜欢一个女人 不管怎样 他都会把她追到手 ...that if a guy wants to be with a girl he will make it happen, no matter what.
没错 That's true.
但当我对你投怀送抱时... But when I was hurling my body onto yours...
你却不想和我在一起 ...you did not seem to want to make it happen.
是的 好吧 事情是这样的: Yeah, all right. Here's the thing about that:
你是对的 You were right.
我已经习惯了 跟所有的女人保持安全距离... I've gotten so used to keeping myself at a safe distance from all these women...
所以渐渐地... ...and having the power...
我已经不知道... ...that I didn't know what it felt like...
爱一个人... ...when I actually fell...
是什么感觉了 ...for one of them.
我当时不知道 I didn't know.
听着 我刚和你的朋友Bill约会了... Look, I just went out with your friend Bill and...
是的 Yeah.
也许他正是我所想要的 He might be just exactly what I need.
平平淡淡 No drama.
他给我电话 他没有食言 He calls, he does what he says.
- 我也能做到啊 - 但你没有 - I can do that stuff too. - But you didn't.
那个聪明人还告诉我 我要做自己的主人 And that same wise person told me that I am the rule.
我不能指望男人会改变自己 That I have to stop thinking that every guy will change.
我不应该再想着... That I have to stop thinking that-
我是个特例 I'm the exception.
你是我的特例 You are my exception.
Conor Barry.
嗨 我是Blade公司的Mary Hi, it's Mary at the Blade.
我在看你的新广告 我很喜欢它 I'm looking at your new ad and I love it.
真的吗? 你不觉得T形的肌肉太夸张了吗? Really? You don't think the muscle T is too much?
我觉得你现在穿的衬衫可能更配你 I think the shirt you're wearing now is probably more you.
什么 你在这儿? What, you here?
我就坐在你前面 I'm sitting right in front of you.
哇 这就是你啊 Mary Wow, this is you. Mary.
是我 It's me.
我是我 I'm me.
我能...? Should I-?
- 来吧 来吧 - 好的 - Please. Please. - Okay.
- 一会再聊 - 待会见 - Talk to you in a minute. - See you in a second.
好的 Okay.
Hey.
- 你好 - 你好吗? - Hi. - How are you?
很高兴终于见到你了 It's nice to finally meet you.
- 我也是 - 这次是真人 - You too. - In person.
这是个愉快的惊喜 This is a pleasant surprise.
- 你... - 什么? - You... - What?
- 我不知道 不是我预料中的 - 我的声音和我的脸不匹配吗? - I don't know. Not what I expected. - My voice doesn't match my face?
你的声音没能很好地衬出你漂亮的脸蛋 Your voice does not match your face in a good way.
而是... 是的 我意思是... 那听起来不好 In a- Yeah, I mean- That sounded terrible.
太神奇了 Amazing.
我不知道这些东西之前是怎么放的 I don't know how all this stuff fit in here before.
我知道 这里似乎变宽敞了 I know. It seems like it just expanded.
你不应该把这个带回来 You are not trying to get these back in here.
- 你不会把这些裤子扔掉吧 - 我们有协议的 先生 - You are not getting rid of these pants. - We had a deal, mister.
我和它只能留一个 These are not staying.
- 你可以把它们叠起来放好啊 - 连慈善机构都不会想要这条裤子 - You can store those horizontally. - Goodwill wouldn't even take these.
他们可以被熨平的 你可以... They could be pressed, flattened, you can-
如果你要把它们扔出去 至少检查一下口袋 好吗? If you're gonna throw them out, at least check the pockets, all right?
那你就不会扔掉一些私人物品了 So you don't throw away some personal items.
我太爱你了 I love you so much.
太爱太爱了 So much.
我要你幸福 And I wanna make you happy.
我一定要让你幸福... I need to make you happy...
只要你幸福 我死都愿意 ...for me to even have a shot at being happy.
你 愿意 嫁给我吗? Will you marry me?
愿意 当然愿意 Yes, of course I will. Yes.
是的 Yes.
感谢主 Thank God.
女孩在成长的过程中会学到很多东西: GIGl: Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up:
如果一个男孩欺负你 是因为他喜欢你 If a guy punches you, he likes you.
不要打理你的前刘海 Never try to trim your own bangs.
然后有一天 你会遇到非常棒的男人 从此过着幸福生活 And someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending.
你们互相宣誓 ...and your commitment to each other.
我们看的每场电影 听过的每个故事... GIGl: Every movie we see, every story we're told...
都告诉我们要耐心等待 ...implores us to wait for it.
而第三类情况是:无法预知的爱情宣言 The third act twist: The unexpected declaration of love.
游离于规则之外 The exception to the rule.
但有时我们太专注于寻找幸福... But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending...
而没有学会如何读懂别人的暗示 ...we don't learn how to read the signs.
如何分辨谁是真正爱我们的人 How to tell the ones who want us from the ones who don't.
如何分辨这个人是不是只是生命中的过客 The ones who will stay from the ones who will leave.
- Hi. - Hi.
或许这个幸福的结局中并没有一个很棒的男人 GIGl: And maybe this happy ending doesn't include a wonderful guy.
或许是你... Maybe it's you...
你一个人... ...on your own...
收拾好心情 然后重新开始 ...picking up the pieces and starting over.
释放自己 为了更好的未来 Freeing yourself up for something better in the future.
或许这个幸福的结局只是... Maybe the happy ending is just...
继续生活 ...moving on.
Baby 你在做什么啊? 轮到我们了 别在搅这个了 来吧 来吧 Baby, what are you doing? It's our turn. Forget the dip. Come on, come on.
我们开始吧 Alex Let's go, Alex.
快点 Alex 轮到你们了 Come on, Alex, your turn.
准备好了吗? LOL Ready? LOL.
Laugh out loud! 我们赢了! Laugh out loud! We won!
或者可能幸福的结局是这个: GIGl: Or maybe the happy ending is this:
我们明白 即使你曾因男人不回电话而伤心欲绝... Knowing that through all the unreturned phone calls and broken hearts...
即使你曾像没头苍蝇一样四处碰壁 自作多情... ...through all the blunders and misread signals...
即使你曾经受伤或者出糗... ...through all of the pain and embarrassment...
你也决不能放弃希望 ...you never, ever gave up hope.
既然我们结婚了... Now that we are married...
我们得搬家 We're gonna move.
是啊 那是我们要做的其中一件事 Gonna move. That's one thing we're gonna do.
另一件该做的事是 搬的远一点... Another thing we're gonna do is move a little further away from...
- 离巴尔第摩远点? - 是你的姐妹们 - Baltimore? - Your sisters.
我是说 人人都会犯错 I mean, everyone makes mistakes.
我试着弄明白我想做什么 我想成为什么样的人 你明白吗? I've started trying to figure out what I wanna do, who I wanna be, you know?
也许开始的晚了点 但为什么不呢? 为什么不呢? Probably seems the wrong time to do that, but why not? You know, why not?
迟做总比不做好 Better later than never.
现在我又约会了 I'm dating now.
你最怀念婚姻的什么呢? What do you miss most about marriage?
你结婚了吗? Have you been married?
是的 我结婚了 Yes, I'm married.
- 你结婚了吗? - 我结婚了 - You are married? I am married.
那你的问题是? And what's your question?
- 我们有进展 公平吗? - 进展很快 很顺利 We're heading there, is that fair? It's moving fast. Just on our way.
我喜欢他 我会说那个L开头的字 I like him, I'll say that L word.
没错 的确是以L开头 是的 That's true, it does start with an L. Yeah.
我非常喜欢她 因此... I like her a lot, so...
- 很好 我很幸福 - 我爱她 我爱她 - Good, I'm glad. I love her. I love her.
我把精力集中在... You know, what I've been focusing my energy on...
比如说自我发现 不去约会 ...is like a self-discovery, as opposed to dating.
我不知道 或许我现在还不适合约会 I don't know. Maybe dating's a little overrated.
我准备和好朋友一起去印度玩几个月 Good friend of mine and I are going to India for a few months.
我们要去瑜伽静修 We're going on a yoga retreat.
我真的是发自内心地爱她... I really genuinely love this person-
他邀请我和她一起办这个聚会... He had asked me to co-host this party...
我从旁协助 ...and I stayed after.
我想帮你解围 因为有个女人一直粘着你... I was trying to help you out because there was this girl who would not leave...
- 那个高个女人 - 没错 她很风骚 - ... that tall girl. - Right. She was gross.
我试着... I was trying to-
她... 拜托 She was- Come on. -The End-