"Seek the truth not in the mundane details of daily life,
but in the essence of life itself."
B. Tosia
"Members of the jury..."
"...for three days..." "...you have listened carefully to..."
"...gravity of the crime..."
"...the defendant receive..." "...the maximum..."
"...prosecution's request that..." "...the defendant..."
"You are aware of the..."
"Members of the jury..."
"...stand the gravity..."
"...to the testimony..."
"lf you agree with the prosecution..."
"...you must return a verdict of "guilty"..."
"...or not..."
"For 1 000 years..."
"...the Russian people gave so much so that..."
"...on these broad expanses different nations were..."
"...united under the banner of this federation..."
"...find reasonable doubt..."
"...criminal code..."
"...must return a verdict..."
"...now deliberate in private..."
"...not limited by time..."
"You are aware of the prosecution's request..."
"...that the defendant receive the maximum penalty allowed..."
"...deliberate and decide..." "...if the defendant is guilty or not..."
"...that the defendant receive the maximum..."
"...penalty allowed by law..."
"...that your decision must be unanimous..."
"...unanimous"
"l do not have words to describe my state of mind..."
"...in these moments..."
"...maximum penalty allowed..."
"...details of the case..."
"lf you find reasonable doubt..."
"...the defendant receive the maximum penalty..."
"...you must return a verdict of "not guilty"..."
"l remind you that your decision must be..."
"...you must return a verdict of "guilty""
"...maximum penalty..."
"...where you must decide..."
"...case-related materials..."
"... I repeat: The jury may request..."
"lf you find reasonable doubt..."
PEACE, LABOR, HAPPlNESS!
GLORY TO THE PEOPLE'S RADIANT FUTURE
Mama!
Speak Russian!
Speak Russian, Mama!
Court is adjourned until the jury reaches a verdict.
All rise please.
Hello?
Hungry, dad?
So far everything's fine. Yes.
Those photographs I showed the judge, can I take them?
I don't know.
- Do I have to stay here? - Yes.
- But I told them everything. - That's how it works.
- OK, gentlemen... - That's crazy.
Please follow me. Hurry, please, it's almost recess.
- What recess? - You'll see.
Please keep up. Follow me.
This way, please. Let's go.
As you see, the work's not finished.
The jury room's not ready, either. This way...
Remodeling makes it hard to work. No matter, your case is simple.
You'll be done in 20 minutes.
Now we're in the adjoining school building, they lend us space.
A school by a courthouse causes problems.
Imagine the spring, the windows open...
a ball flies in and hits a witness on the head
An elderly woman, out cold.
During the school vacation it was fine...
we used the classrooms... Oops, we're too late.
Children! Children!
Oh, Lord. Children.
Children! Children, please.
Now we turn left. This way, everyone this way.
Some working conditions! But it's just temporary.
They'll finish and it'll be pretty as a picture.
One silly formality.
You'll have to give me your phones, I'm afraid.
I'll keep my SlM, it's important.
Hello, Vasia.
My phone'll be off for 90 minutes.
Tell the boss it's my civic duty.
I'll be right here.
If you need me for any reason...
...there's a communication system. Here it is.
This is my little "know-how".
That means "invention".
I took it from my son's model train set.
It really works.
Watch, everyone. Push the button.
That's awful.
You keep this.
And if you need me, for the slightest reason, call me...
and I'll bring whatever you require or desire.
Here's where you'll be meeting. All the amenities. Go ahead.
Go ahead.
Hands...
- They put us in a gym? - The jury room's not ready.
Anyone know how long it takes to get to Kursk station?
In weather like this.
At least an hour and a half. Maybe a little longer.
You're kidding.
Come on, take a shot.
- With this thing? - Come on.
- Go Spartak. - Here it comes!
- What was that? - You told me to.
That's a medicine ball.
That's an antique.
- You mean the lamp? - Yeah.
We had exactly the same kind in my school.
- Kids use these? - Sure.
Do you know where the bathroom is?
They're locking us in?
They have to, those are the rules.
Seen that?
Why is it in there?
- Maybe so the kids don't hurt it. - Or vice versa.
Or vice versa, so they don't hurt themselves on it.
It could fall.
A courthouse isn't...
the best thing to have next to a school.
It won't fall.
Even the piano's behind bars and on the rack.
The bathroom.
Smart, no?
Why don't you have some? Help yourself, it's for all of us.
- What is it, cheese? - And tea with lemon.
Thanks. Thanks anyway.
I have a business lunch at Cafe Pushkin.
Don't want to spoil my appetite.
And this won't take very long, right?
I doubt it. It's not that kind of case.
I agree.
We have
a different kind of case.
That's an antique. How quaint.
I had it stashed away.
I forgot and didn't exchange it in time.
I was so angry...
Comrades... I mean...
...gentlemen. Let's start.
Yes, comrades, I mean, gentlemen, why don't we start?
I don't have much time.
You in a hurry?
And how: My train's in an hour. I'm going on tour.
This'll take an hour, max. The bathroom...
This one's for the kids. VlPs go over there.
Can anyone tell me...
what rhymes with "Julie"?
- Julie£¬cruelly. - Cruelly? That's no good.
- It's a beautiful girl named Julie. - Julie?
Here you go...
Duly. Newly. Unruly.
O'Dooley. Fazooli. Babooli. Coolly...
Woolly.
Truly.
- Patchouli. - Patchouli?
Patchouli. Truly.
Mamooli. Pap...
Oh, God...
- Is today the 12th? - Yeah.
- Where's the TV? Over here? - Right there.
They're interviewing my mother.
Is she a politician? An actress?
- It doesn't work? - No.
What is this? That's it.
It doesn't work.
Our family has a TV company. LTV. Have you heard of it?
My mother's the president.
I'm the managing director. I help Mom.
So you're an assistant producer.
Must be a weak stomach...
- Have you ever seen anything like this? - Sorry.
Ever seen one like this?
And she's still just a schoolgirl. They must be well fed.
I only saw ones this big once in my life.
- On a schoolgirl? - What? Heavens, no.
My mother-in-law's were about this size.
We buried her three months ago.
Oh, jeez!
"Schoolmates!"
"Boys and girls!"
- Look what I found. - Oh, wow.
"We sing the same songs"
"We read the same books"
- Let me see. God. - Advanced classes!
Forgive me.
I'm sorry.
I lost my brother because of that junk.
He was 36!
Oh, mama! How much misfortune...
I have seen from this junk.
I'm sorry.
Gentlemen of the jury... Let's get this show on the road.
Who's leading this parade?
- Yes, let's start. - Let's go.
Actually, we do have to...
choose a chairman for our meeting, I mean for our jury.
You seem to have some experience. You should be our foreman...
The phone only connects to the boiler room.
If nobody objects...
I'd be glad to.
So, no need to vote on it, then?
As you know, our decision must be, and will be, final.
And not subject to appeal.
And so... Attention, please. And so...
our vote has got to be unanimous.
We know all that. Let's just do it fast.
Make a unanimous decision... and leave. I'm going on tour.
We can each make comments one by one. Then we'll vote.
- No, let's vote. - It's obvious.
- Let's vote now. - No comments.
- Then nobody objects if... - No, no.
So, we can...
vote by the usual show of hands, or by paper ballot.
- No, by hands. - Right.
- Let's vote. - So we'll vote by a show of hands?
- Yes, yes. - Of course.
All in favor, please raise your hands.
One question. "In favor" of what?
- What? - "In favor" of guilty, or not guilty?
Guilty, of course.
I thought it was "in favor" of voting.
We're voting on whether he is guilty.
I didn't understand, that's all.
- He didn't know - Put down your hands. Sorry.
That vote didn't count. My fault. Sorry.
So... Put your hands down.
So we're voting...
on whether the defendant is guilty.
A raised hand means guilty.
- Yes, yes. - Guilty.
I just want to get it right. Then raise your hand.
Don't you go to meetings?
What? All the time.
Workers of the world...
- Let's vote, come on. - Yeah.
Why are we voting on "guilty" first?
What's the difference?
No, we can do this however we like.
Does it bother you?
No, I thought it might be a rule.
No, there's no rule about that. Either way.
- Let's do it this way. - For whether he's guilty.
OK. So we're voting on whether the defendant is guilty.
- Yes. - Hands up, please.
- Unanimous. We're out of here. - No, wait.
Please. There are rules. Wait
Please take your seats. Put your hands down.
Now, who thinks the defendant, we have to follow rules...
is not guilty, please raise your hand.
That's eleven...
- Here - Eleven for guilty, one for not guilty.
Whoa!
What did we just vote on?
Did you hear that? Hello!
All that racket distracted the man.
We voted on whether that stinking Chechen dog is guilty...
of the murder of his adoptive father, a Russian army officer.
Didn't understand?
The comrade didn't understand. Start again.
- So let's vote again. - No, no, l...
There's no need. I get it now. I'm against.
Against convicting him.
What do you mean "against"?
You voted "for".
And I voted "against".
Why?
Well, it was eleven "for"...
and one "against".
But why?
Why what?
Why did you vote that way?
Well, if I'd voted "for" it would have been twelve "for" and...
none "against". And we'd all have gone home.
But that'd be good. So why'd you vote "against"?
Vote "for" and let's go home.
I... It was too fast, somehow.
It was too fast, you see.
Fast? We listened to that judge talk for 3 days. You call that fast?
No, well, yes, but...
It scared me. We just put up our hands and...
that was it. It was too fast.
Fast is good. It was obvious, there was proof.
We all heard the witnesses. We saw the evidence.
Well, yes.
But we're talking about a human being.
And we just put up our hands...
and that was it.
What exactly do you want?
I want...
well, to talk, at least.
To talk.
So talk.
"Beyond reasonable doubt."
Sorry. That's a term used in American jury trials.
"Beyond reasonable doubt".
It's just that, I studied at Harvard...
I studied management. And we had a course in law.
Talking would make sense if there were reasonable doubt.
Did you hear that? Reasonable doubt. We don't have any doubts
None. He killed him! It's a fact!
The brutal murder of an ex-officer by his adopted son for a ridiculous sum.
- Yeah. - Why talk?
That guy went to Harvard, and he doesn't have any doubts.
- Neither do we. Do you? - Do you?
Forgive me, please, and understand.
I know he went to Harvard.
Say you go to the market and buy a watermelon.
- I do? - No, no, I do.
I go to the market and buy a melon.
The salesman assures me it's ripe and red, but...
until I take it home...
and cut it open, it's very hard to know for sure if it is.
But this isn't a watermelon.
A watermelon you can just throw away.
This is a human being facing a life sentence.
If we all vote yes, they'll put him in prison forever.
And he'll never get out.
Do you understand? Ne-ver!
Just think about that word.
He'll never get out.
And he shouldn't.
He's a killer. What should he get?
A paid vacation to Thailand?
He should be grateful they banned the death penalty.
Prison will put some sense into him.
All right.
Fine.
I don't want to keep you.
Let's vote again and if I'm still the only one, I'll...
vote with everyone else.
And let the boy's fate be what it will.
At least I'll know I tried to do something for him.
That's an interesting move.
Essentially, you'll do what everyone else does,
but you'll still be able to believe that your hands are clean. Right?
Yes.
It looks that way.
But I request a secret ballot.
Why?
Honestly? To stall for time.
We have to get paper, pens. That takes time.
Also, people often vote...
just so they don't stray from the group.
So I request that we vote by secret ballot.
Secret or not, it's obvious what the result will be.
So, we have a proposal for a secret ballot
- Does everyone agree? - Yeah.
- With these? - Yes, take a ballot and a pencil or pen.
If we're ready to vote, let's see if we're all here.
Wait...
Someone's missing.
That gentleman went to the bathroom. I saw him.
- I saw him, honest. - Why wait? Let's vote.
- He's an elderly man. - Let's start.
He has to get there and pee, maybe a bad prostate...
Then put all his equipment back in...
The ballot box. Let's vote.
I see you've done this before.
Yeah. Retirement's boring.
I sit at my dacha and paint watercolors. Sometimes I serve on juries.
- You're an artist? - No, not really.
I just paint watercolors as a hobby.
Has everyone turned in their ballot?
- Did you vote already? - No, we were waiting for you.
"With birth and urination, there's no procrastination".
Don't worry, I'll be fast.
What a great one-liner!
- Thank you. - Sorry.
Well...
Let's count... shall we?
"Guilty".
"Not guilty".
"Guilty".
So, that's ten...
for "guilty," and one against.
Two.
Two. For "not guilty".
What? Two?
Wait. That can't be.
Let me check those ballots.
There's no need.
No need to check anything.
I voted to find the young man not guilty.
What?
5 minutes ago you voted that the kid is guilty.
At first it seemed clear.
- And now it doesn't? - No, I can't say it's not clear.
But this man...
proposed that I take responsibility for his decision, as well.
And you know, I began to think.
About what?
Excuse me, but I don't understand. This is some sort of Jewish logic.
Absolutely correct.
I'm a Jew. 100 percent Jewish.
And like everyone, I have tons of faults.
But I do have one virtue. And it's an innately Jewish one.
Thoughtfulness. I treasure it.
I became thoughtful and went off to think...
And you know, I began to have doubts.
Why?
The lawyer.
- The lawyer what? - He was bored.
Why be excited? That Chechen monster killed his father.
I had the impression he wasn't even defending him.
And he was right! There's no reason to defend him.
Exactly. There was no reason.
The boy is destitute, the lawyer's eyes were empty
The face of a drunk, he couldn't function.
Is it because he's not Jewish?
Drunk? Maybe, but honest.
Didn't let a killer off the hook. But you had a hunch.
You should pray after a hunch.
10 adults had no hunch at all.
- But you did. - In the can.
Exactly, a sudden hunch in the can.
I think better in there.
Everyone does. Why are you so worried?
There are 10 of you and only 2 of us. We should be worried.
But I am worried.
I am worried, see. How can I not be?
Because I see how you and your Jewish tricks...
are muddying an obvious case.
You didn't like the lawyer, so you just changed your mind.
That's a typical Jewish move.
That's enough.
I didn't change my mind. And I'm half Jewish.
No such thing as a half-Jew.
Is that a good thing...
or a bad thing?
Now you, my friend...
stay out of this
1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Look how much Umar likes your present.
Umar, come eat. Uncle Volodya is here.
OK, then.
Listen, so you found...
a good, kind, naive person, and dragged him over to your side.
- "Braids" - What?
- What rhymes with it? - Just a minute. "Braids". "Grenades"!
No, I'm absolutely sure that we'll all reach the same conclusion.
You'll waste time, tell us another parable...
about choosing watermelons or about how to buy fresh fish.
I don't see why.
You'll make us go over everything we heard in court for three days.
All the evidence of that scumbag's guilt...
...that you'll never disprove, because you can't. And then?
Then that man'll go to the can again.
To think. He'll change his decision to the correct one.
Believe me that's exactly what'll happen.
What I don't get is, why stall for time?
To go over the witness statements again? You're not blind and deaf.
You saw that monster sitting in court.
You want to talk? So let's talk.
Let's talk about how you think you can defend a pig...
who can't possibly be justified.
How can you justify a monster who attacks his adoptive father?
And not just attacked...
but cut his father's throat like a sheep.
He killed the man who took care of him... who raised him.
He butchered a man who had done nothing to him.
Not only that, but the man who adopted him.
Who saved him. And it doesn't matter why.
For his pension or because he yelled at him. I don't care about that.
I can't get my head around it. I couldn't think of a single word to say...
in defense of that bastard.
I don't think any of us could.
I don't think you could.
So then what's the point of this sideshow?
Sorry.
- I had a wife. - Wives? I've had three wives.
Wait. I had a wife. I loved her.
- He couldn't keep her... Like the rhyme. - Just wait. I really loved her.
We had a tiny room with hardly any furniture.
We even ate dinner on the floor, because we had no table.
I was a junior researcher in a physics institute.
I was developing one of my ideas.
So my wife had to work three jobs...
so we could make ends meet.
Long story short, I invented a new tunnel diode. It's...
It's hard to explain.
At work they congratulated me...
gave me a 50-ruble bonus and proposed I work on a new project
So I went home...
with the result of three years' work: Fifty rubles.
My wife gave me a look...
like you'd give...
Then a large foreign company...
offered to buy my patent for a lot of money.
But I said no, I wanted it to be used here.
I offered it to various places.
They said "It's great". But nobody needed it. Nobody.
I began to drink. I began to drink terribly.
I lost my job, my wife left me.
I only cared about drinking. Morning, noon, and night.
I was dead drunk from morning to night. It was awful.
One day I sensed I would die soon.
And the thought even made me happy, It didn't scare me at all.
All I wanted was for it to be soon.
I began to look for death, I really did, I looked for it.
I would fight with police, bother people I got beaten up and cut.
I slept on the street, in and out of hospitals.
I was beaten to a pulp.
But I'd pull through and crawl back out.
At home I'd lick my wounds like a stray dog and then...
crawl out again.
My only fear was...
jumping under a train or out of a window.
Don't know why, it just scared me.
One day I was on a train, dreadfully drunk.
I was filthy, I stank.
The train was full I was bothering everyone,
Yelling, cursing.
But I looked at myself and I was glad. My vileness made me glad!
My only wish was that someone would take me...
and toss me off the train so I'd bash my brains on the rails.
But they all just sat silently.
They looked away, but they sat silently.
Except for one woman with her five-year-old daughter.
I heard the little girl say:
"Mama, that man's crazy. I'm scared".
But the woman said: "No, he's not crazy.
He's just very, very sad".
I sold my invention to a foreign company.
Today it's used in almost half of all cell phones.
I work there. But that's not important.
The woman is now my wife and the girl is my daughter.
We also have a son.
He's 4 years old.
Are you done?
No, there's more.
Maybe that kid should...
die in prison.
Maybe that's his fate. Who knows?
Me, I should have died in the gutter. But I didn't.
Because one person, just one...
looked at me a little more closely...
than everyone else
And didn't let me remain...
in my lonely wretchedness.
Now I'm done.
Well...
That's a touching story of salvation,
but it's your story.
And you didn't kill anyone.
But this is a story of murder
Testimony from the old man in the apartment below...
who heard arguing, and the boy yelling "I'll kill you".
The boy says he didn't kill his adoptive father.
What would he say? "I killed him"?
- Then we wouldn't be here. - His words seemed sincere.
He can barely express himself in Russian.
What? Enough already!
What are you saying? Listen!
I don't give a damn how he speaks Russian.
But excuse me. You're all adults.
Shame on you! Look around!
It's not our city anymore. They've taken over.
Everything! The markets, casinos, hotels. It's all theirs.
Yesterday I tried to drive down Theater St. In my taxi.
Eight lanes! Eight lanes, all full!
Full of their Bentley-shmentleys, Mercedes.
It was some kind of wedding.
Songs! Dancing! I thought they'd start shooting in the air.
And this was a 3-minute walk from the Kremlin!
This isn't Moscow anymore. It's Baku-shmaku, whatever...
And me, a native Muscovite,
I feel like an alien in my own city.
And the boy? What about him?
You're trying to defend him, right?
Remember how they said...
he argued with his father the day before?
Imagine a Russian kid. What would a Russian kid do?
He might get angry, curse him out...
maybe run away.
But he wouldn't pick up a knife.
But that savage, your boy, that animal...
he'd hide his anger and then go back to cut his throat and stab him!
I've heard enough.
Savage? We live in the 21st century, you know?
And there's no need to exaggerate.
It's an enormous job we're doing.
We? Who's we? Who? Who's we?
- Democratic forces. - What?
What kind of forces? Oh, Lord.
I agree.
I'm not talking about that, I mean...
They're bastards. Bastards.
One on one they're OK, but if there's more of them...
One time I was on a train, on vacation.
Four of those animals, one with a knife.
They robbed me. Two were holding my arms,
and one went through my pockets.
I wasn't really scared, I was just nervous.
One gassed me, right in the nose.
I came to in Simferopol.
Later, I saw 2 of them in the market in Alushta...
They recognized me...
and started to lick my sandals.
Our people surrounded them.
I was disgusted. I grabbed them and carried them.
I kicked them in the ass.
I twisted my ankle and barely made it home.
And now I have pain in my groin. Are you a doctor?
- I'm a surgeon. - Thank you.
I don't need a surgeon yet, I use a salve.
They're bastards. Bastards.
If he didn't kill him, what difference does it make how he speaks Russian...
esteemed gentlemen of the jury?
That's right.
Do you like it?
Yeah.
Look how pretty it is.
Thanks.
Umar!
Go home!
Go home and do your homework. Volodya.
Sorry, my father's calling me. Homework.
Don't worry. You'll get your chance to fight the Russians.
Hey, friend, school won't teach him to fight.
What'd you say, friend? You mind your own business.
We'll deal with this at home by ourselves.
Volodya, go home. Umar.
Come here, little wolf.
Let's go.
He who has hidden his head under his wife's petticoat will never find his head again.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
By the way, I asked them to bring the knife from the murder.
Why?
In court they kept stressing that it was an unusual knife, special.
And that...
Thank you.
And that only that kid had one.
You remember?
In court they kept saying that it was...
a unique knife.
Special.
Here.
Let me see.
Yeah. This is a specialized knife.
Used by some units of the special forces.
Similar to the American model CQC-7 "hand to hand combat".
Made by Ernst Emerson.
It's monogrammed.
The kid could've brought this knife from Chechnya.
They're black market there.
You can't buy a knife like this in Moscow.
This knife has devastating stabbing power.
Oh my!
PAPA MAMA
It's that...
A major in the special forces.
His unit was fighting in the area where the defendant lived.
Later he adopted him.
Did you lose something?
- Hey, what if... - No.
Those soldiers were the ones who killed the boy's parents?
That's motive. Motive for murder. Oh God. Revenge.
Yes, but he had known the boy since he was 5...
and was a family friend.
What about the knife. Do we know whose it is?
There are initials on it.
No, the initials don't match anyone in the case.
It's a rare knife. It was kept at home.
The kid carried it with him all the time.
His friends saw him with it. They said all this in court.
They kept saying it was an exceptionally rare knife.
Special.
Just listen to what you're suggesting.
What is it?
- Can't find it. - The kid's in the park.
Just walking, walking...
And suddenly some guy comes up to him and says:
"Hey kid, do you happen to know where they sell good knives?"
And he says: "Why, yes! I have a good knife right here. A very good one.
Rare. Unique. Yes".
And he sells it to him. Yes.
The boy sold him this knife. The man bought it and went and killed his dad!
It's totally lun-icrous!
- What? - "Lud-icrous".
Wait, wait!
What about the money?
They found 7 thousand in his pocket!
The same exact amount as...
the pension the father received that day. He didn't sell any knife!
He killed him and robbed him.
There's no sense in listening to the defendant's lies...
- You can't get another knife like that, guys. - I found it!
Thank God. The key is tiny, I thought I lost it.
But it was hiding in my pocket. There...
I also thought that the knife was unique, special.
And that only he had one.
Look.
Here.
One and the same.
With a receipt.
They said it's unique, special and that only he had one.
At the "Extreme" market you can get one easily.
So what's that prove?
That the Chechen didn't kill his father?
No, it proves nothing. Can we smoke here?
Why not? We're locked in.
- Ashtray. - May I?
- Thanks. I had a different goal. - So you found the knife.
- Bought it. - OK, bought. What's the difference?
These days you can even buy a missile launcher.
But can you tell me how that proves...
that the man who bought the knife also killed the father?
May I? It doesn't prove that at all. You interrupted me before.
Thank you.
I'm saying that the uniqueness of the knife was...
the prosecution's main argument.
But it turns out you can buy one easily.
So what? What does that mean?
It means the investigation wasn't very thorough so other facts are possible.
The lawyer. The lawyer. He had nothing to say. He was an empty man!
He couldn't defend him.
What...? What if...
the one who bought it is the killer?
Oh, Jesus!
Buddy, why do you have cottage cheese for brains?
Someone bought it and killed him.
Do you even understand what you're saying?
Five minutes ago you drew us a balance sheet.
"He killed and robbed him". Who else had a reason...
to kill a major for his pension?
If I were you I'd listen to the comrade from the Transport Authority.
You know, your reasoning is somehow...
Jewish.
What, I should reason like the late Yasser Arafat?
All right. No, well... Wait a minute. Wait.
OK. So the working guy said something stupid.
- Why are you supporting him? - You know, what he said wasn't stupid.
See, that's a typical Jewish trick.
If a non-Jew says something stupid, it's OK, but...
if it's a Jew, it's not stupid.
All right.
The knife, a coincidence. It's the same, I admit. But the man who bought the knife
used it to kill the father.
Is that also a coincidence?
2 coincidences in a row? That's impossible.
It never happens. Never.
You know, for some time now I've believed that...
anything is possible in life. Absolutely anything. Even the impossible.
My dad...
was in the ghetto during the War.
- A Holocaust story? - No, it's about my dad.
The headquarters of the Lithuanian SS was right nearby.
And there was an SS officer there who had a beautiful Lithuanian wife.
Now, my dad was a scrawny man.
You see what I look like? He was three times worse.
And did you inherit your dad's looks?
No, my mom's. Mom was no beauty, either, but not like dad.
It made it that much easier for my father to fall in love.
My father fell in love with that beautiful Lithuanian woman.
And she fell in love with my father, like a puppy.
Imagine what would've happened if the Russians had lost.
The SS officer fled to Germany.
And she stayed with my dad.
Oh, God, wow!
They were both arrested and sent to the camps in Siberia.
They were released in 1 953, found each other, and got married.
They moved to a little farm near Vilnius...
and began to crank out children. Eleven of them.
By this time, of course, my dad had been a pig and dumped my mom.
But I understand him.
For one thing...
I saw her photograph.
And for another...
my mother was no angel, either.
Mother was no angel.
An amazing story.
If someone told me a story like that, I wouldn't believe it.
But it happened to my dad.
Anything can happen.
Anything.
Stop, stop. I have doubts. We all tend our gardens in our own way.
And we hold the shovel in our own.
Well... If you only knew. I have an uncle.
He lives near Voronezh, he's a plumber.
Hands of gold!
He's generous and kind. The whole city just loves him.
He likes to drink, but he's not mean.
He doesn't drink too often.
In the center of town,
there's a square.
They built this place there where you can play machines for money.
"Brother," it's called. "Brother".
Uncle Kolya had never been a gambler. But one payday, he got drunk.
And went there.
And, well, he lost.
He lost every cent.
He thinks: "How can I go home now
to Liuba, to my wife, and say:
'Liuba, I lost everything, all the money'. How?"
It'd be easier to hang himself.
But some kind people told him:
"There's a place nearby where you can borrow money".
So he goes there and they say: "OK, we'll give you a loan,
but with high interest, and not less than 50 thousand.
So if you want 50 thousand, you got it, but if not, you can go to hell".
What could he do?
He takes the 50 thousand...
and goes back to that "Brother" place, damn it.
And he...
He loses it all.
The whole 50 thousand. Now what could he do?
Now what was he going to do?
Middle of the day.
He goes to work, tells the boss:
"Give me 50 thousand". "What, are you nuts?"
"Nuts, eh? Just you wait." He goes home. Gets a shotgun, shells.
And goes back. By this time the boss had run off some place.
He goes to the accounting office. There are only women there.
He takes three of them hostage.
He becomes a terrorist.
He makes them put a bucket outside with a note,
his demands, all 57 thousand rubles,
a luxury apartment, a job as chief engineer,
and a plane to anywhere on earth he chooses.
Now, why did he ask for a job,
when he planned to fly off in a plane?
That's not important. It's not important.
The women say: "Uncle Kolya, what are you doing? Look..."
But he just goes "oooo!" He can't speak.
The women open the safe and take out 800 rubles.
One goes to buy vodka, a half case, ice cream.
And the police are there, snipers.
"He's a terrorist! Get him! Fire!"
But the police chief says: "Stop! Absolutely not! Don't shoot!
I'll go myself!" What a man!
And he goes in unarmed. What a man!
Uncle Kolya points the gun at him: "I'll kill you".
And the chief says: "No you won't".
"Why not?" "Because I'm the chief", says the chief.
Uncle Kolya drops the shotgun.
They sit around the case of vodka.
They have a drink.
And cry.
And there was no trial, no investigation.
I beg your pardon, but why exactly did you tell us all that?