片名：《恶老板》
我每天日出而作，日落而息 I get to work before the sun comes up and I leave long after it's gone down.
我已经六个月没跟女人做爱，只能打手枪 I haven't had sex in six months with someone other than myself
我的冰箱里只剩一颗莱姆 And the only thing in my refrigerator is an old lime.
或是奇异果，我已经分不清了 Could be a kiwi. No way to tell.
- 早安，托马斯 - 早安，尼克 你最好快点 - Morning, Thomas. - Good morning, Nick. You better hurry.
不过呢： But here's the thing:
这些都只是暂时的 This is just temporary.
我长话短说吧 Quick story:
我祖母来到这个国家时，口袋只有20块 My grandmother came to this country with $20 in her pocket.
她终其一生努力工作，且从不听任何人的废话 She worked hard her whole life and never took shit from anyone.
她死时，把20块变成了2000块 When she died, she had turned that $20 into $2000.
简直烂透了 That sucks.
知道她为何会失败吗？ You know why she didn't succeed?
因为她从不听任何人的废话 Because she didn't take shit from anyone.
成功的关键 The key to success...
学校绝对不会教你，就是要听废话 They will not teach you this in business school... is taking shit.
这就是我过去八年一直在做的事，而我的付出即将有所回报 That's what I've been doing the last eight years, and it's all about to pay off
我是尼克 This is Nick.
因为我就快要升官了，拥有自己的办公室 I'm this close to getting a big promotion with my own office...
我马上就过去，哈肯先生 I'll be right there, Mr. Harken.
如此一来之前所浪费的时间，牺牲了一切，听了一堆废话 Then all the endless hours, and the sacrifice and the shit-eating...
都是值得的了 will have been worth it.
你看，这就是我觉得纳闷的，尼克 See, this is what concerns me, Nick.
你是个准时的人，你很清楚早上6点上班的重要性 You're a punctual guy. You know the importance of being here right at 6 a.m.
所以我就在想… Which is what leads me to think that...
是不是我们系统的时间出了点问题 there must be something wrong with the clock on our system.
也许迟到了1分钟 May have been a minute late.
但根据这个影像，你迟到了2分钟，所以要嘛就是你说谎… But according to this, you were two minutes late. So either you're a liar...
要嘛就是这个系统快了整整1分钟 or this system is off by a full minute.
唯一的障碍？ The only hitch?
就是我为这个人工作，戴维哈肯… I work for this guy, David Harken...
他正在我面前唧唧歪歪，只因为我迟到了2分钟 who right now is giving me some fresh shit for being two minutes late.
他真是一个不折不扣的大混蛋 He 's a total fucking asshole.
如果是这样的话，那我要把汤玛士炒鱿鱼，就是干了很久的那个保全人员 If that's the case, I'm gonna have to fire Thomas, our longtime security coordinator.
- 我也许迟到了2分钟 - 喔 - I may have been two minutes late. - Oh.
那…就是你刚才说谎 Well, then you were lying.
没有，我…你要打给谁？ No. I... Who you calling?
- 汤玛士，我要叫他走人 - 不要，呃… - Thomas. I gotta let him go. - No, uh...
- 我说谎了，抱歉 - 说谎？ - I was lying. Sorry. - Lying?
我不是故意的，那只是一种说辞而己，"也许迟到了1分钟" I didn't mean to. It was more of a saying. "Might have been a minute late."
其实呢..呃..正确的来说，是迟到2分钟 Literally, uh, truthfully, was two minutes late.
哇，我必须要习惯戴着这个，又大又重的戒指开车 Boy, I have to get used to driving with this big, heavy ring on my finger.
- 少来了 - 我一直往左偏，宝贝 - Come on. - I keep swerving to the left, babe.
小时候，人们会问我长大后想做什么 When I was a kid, people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up.
我的答案都一样 I always gave the same answer.
我好爱你 I love you so much.
我也爱你 I love you too.
我想要当一个丈夫 I wanted to be a husband.
- 我下班后再打给你 - 愿你有美好的一天 - I will call you when I'm done. - Have a good day.
我知道那听起来很奇怪 I know that sounds weird.
大部份的男孩都希望能当消防队长或私人的健身教练 Most boys wanna be firehouse chiefs or personal trainers...
但对我来说，当一个丈夫就已经是我最大的梦想了 but to me being a husband was, like, the highest calling.
我要感谢史黛西 And thanks to Stacy...
因为梦想快要成真了 that dream's about to come true.
不幸地，没有人会因为你是丈夫就付你薪水，除非你娶了欧普拉(脱口秀主持人) Unfortunately, no one's gonna pay you to be a husband unless you marry Oprah.
所以我必须找份工作 So I had to find a job...
我一直都很佩服牙医 Now, I always admired dentists.
他们聪明、能干，保护我们牙齿的健康 They're smart, they're capable, they keep your teeth healthy.
所以我就成了一名牙医 So I went out and I became one.
- 你今天好吗，戴尔？ - 很好啊，谢谢 - How are you today, Dale? - I'm fine. Thanks.
钻孔器 Excavator.
好吧，我其实是名牙医助理，基本上没什么两样 - Okay, I became a dental assistant. - It's basically the same thing...
只是少赚很多钱 I just make a lot less money.
你有看过"花边教主"这部影集吗 Did you ever see that show Gossip Girl?
- 没有 - 喔 - No. - Ooh.
我昨晚看了一集 I watched an episode last night.
我看着那个叫潘恩贝格利的男生自慰，结果因为太用力弄断了一根指甲 I fingered myself so hard to that Penn Badgley guy, I broke a nail.
这原本应该是份完美的工作，要不是因为这个… And it would have been the perfect job. If not for one...
邪恶的疯婆娘，D.D.S (Doctor of Dental Surgery，牙医的学位) evil crazy bitch, D.D.S.
我猜你胯下那根老二应该不小吧，戴尔？ I bet you're no shrimp in the cock department, huh, there, Dale?
- 好了，茱莉亚，别这样 - 怎了？ - Okay, Julia. Come on. - What?
- 讨论这种事让我很不自在 - 吼，戴尔，拜托 - I'm uncomfortable talking about that. - Oh, Dale, come on.
你知道我就喜欢干这些蠢事 You know that I like to fool around.
安德顿先生 Mr. Anderton.
在办公室别这样，坏死了 Not in the office. This is bad.
- 坏，坏，坏！ - 你不该打病人 - Bad, bad, bad! - You probably shouldn't hit the patients.
这个我喜欢，很酷 Ah, I love this. So festive.
我热爱我的工作 I love my job.
如果你问我，那任何讨厌自己工作的人不能怪别人，只能怪自己 If you ask me, anyone who hates their job has no one to blame but themself.
命运掌握在我们自己手中，而我掌握到一个不错的 We make our own destinies, and I've made a sweet one.
公司就有楼梯了，你不需要自己带一个来 We have stairs. You don't need to bring your own.
我在一间化学公司担任客户经理 I'm an account manager at a chemical company.
我告诉你，这个工作有额外津贴可领 I'll tell you, the job has its perks.
有什么需要效劳的吗？ Hi, can I help you?
喔不用了，我只是在等他签收这些包裹，谢了 He's just signing for these packages. Thank you.
喔，不，这我来就好了 Oh, no. I should do this.
瑞吉，我来吧，谢谢 Reggie, I got this. Thank you, buddy.
- 这是第一优先要处理的事 - 谢谢 - This is high-priority stuff here. - Thank you.
- 那么，这是什么回事？ - 你说什么？ - So, what's going on here? - I'm sorry?
- 这是什么整人的节目吗？ - 此话怎讲？ - Is this one of those hidden camera shows? - What do you mean?
就一个联邦快递的员工来说，你长的太可爱了 You're way too cute to be just a FedEx girl.
你应该当个模特儿或演员什么的，对吧？ You gotta be a model or actress or something, right?
如果我打开这些包裹会怎样？ What happens when I open these?
有东西会跳出来咬我老二吗？ Something'll jump out, bite my penis?
不，不会有东西跳出来，我只是个联邦快递的员工 No. Nothing's gonna jump out. I'm just a FedEx girl.
- 少来了 - 哈哈 - Shut up. - Ha, ha.
- 拜 - 祝你下午愉快 - Bye. - Have a great afternoon.
谢谢 Thank you.
顺便提一下，我其实没有签收，所以她会再回来找我 I didn't sign that form, by the way, so she has to come back.
她很可爱吧，瑞吉？ She's cute, huh, Reg?
- 又有新目标了是吗？ - 哈哈，嗨，杰克 - Caught another fly in your web, did you? - Ha, ha. Hey, Jack.
不过我在这里上班的真正原因是因为这个人： But the real reason I'm here is this guy:
杰克佩里特，我老板，我所认识最好的人 Jack Pellit, my boss. The sweetest man I know.
他爱我，我爱他，大家都爱他 He loves me and I love him. Everybody loves him.
- 你还好吗，玛吉？ - 你好，佩里特先生，库尔特 - You all right, Margie? - Hi, Mr. Pellit. Kurt.
我等着要上洗手间已经一段时间了 I've been waiting to get in there for a while.
- 谁在里面？ - 你儿子 - Who's in there? - It's your son.
巴比！ Bobby!
玛吉在等，你好了吗？ Margie's waiting. You nearly done in there?
男人在这边好像没有隐私可言 A man can't get any privacy around here.
- 好了，玛吉 巴比？ - 干嘛？ - Okay, Margie. Bobby? - What?
你的胃没问题吧？你似乎花在蹲马桶的时间… Your stomach okay? You seem to spend more time on the toilet...
比在办公桌的时间还久 than at your desk.
我不知道我每次想大便还要跟你报备 I didn't realize I had to tell you every time I wanna take a dump.
要说这份工作最槽糕的地方就是要忍受我老板这个… If the worst thing about this job is having to tolerate my boss's...
又蠢又爱吸毒的儿子，不过就当是有点美中不足吧 dipshit cokehead son, well, it's a small price to pay.
我上厕所要跟你报备吗？ Need me to tell you when I pee-pee?
我只是想让你做好自己的本份，儿子，现在景气不是很好 I'm just trying to get you to do your part, son. It's not easy times.
我做自己的本份，我还做了别人的 I do my part. I do other people's parts.
但这些都无关紧要 But it doesn't matter to you.
你只是爱挑我毛病，因为我是你儿子 You just wanna ride my ass because I'm your son.
你知道吗？我没听过你在包皮面前哭闹过 You know what? I don't hear you giving dickskin any shit.
- “包皮”？ 说的好 - 去死吧 - "Dickskin"? Nice. - Kiss-ass.
- 来吧，来吧 - 是啊，去吧，快滚吧 - Come on, come on. - Yeah, go on. In you go.
- 去吧，基佬 - 我不是基佬 - Go on, gay boy. - I'm not gay.
拜托，我见过那些基佬 你跟他们一样 Please, I've seen gay boys. You're one of them.
- 你在哪儿见过他们？ - 在你家里 进去！ - Where'd you see them? - At your house. Get in!
- 我可是个功夫高手，你这混蛋 - 什么？ - I'm a green belt, motherfucker. - What?
- 是啊，你了吗？ - 好吧 - Yeah. All right? - Okay.
我知道你一直都很努力的工作想要升官 Now, I know you've been working your tail off for that promotion.
但我甚至不确定该不该考虑… But I'm not sure I can even consider...
…升你为业务副总… making you the Senior Vice President of Sales...
如果我无法相信你… if I can't trust you.
- 你可以相信我 - 你现在口气又像我老婆了 - You can trust me. - Yeah, now you sound like my wife.
"相信我，你要相信我，亲爱的 "Trust me. You can trust me, honey.
什么事都没发生，相信我" Nothing's happening behind your back. Trust me."
而在这个时候呢，她已经干遍我所有邻居了 Meanwhile, she's fucking every guy in the neighborhood.
你要来一杯吗？ Oh, you want one?
现在是早上8点15分 It's 8:15 a.m.
怎了，一个男人早上想小酌一杯，这样不行吗？ Well, is there something wrong with a man enjoying a drink in the morning?
可以 No.
谢谢，好吧，谢谢 Thank you. Sure, thanks.
喝光 Bottoms up.
你不喝吗？ Nothing for you?
尼克，现在是早上8点15分，我可不是酒鬼 Nick, it's 8:15 in the morning. I'm not an alcoholic.
我之所以会喝，是因为我以为你也要喝 The only reason I took one, I thought you were gonna have one.
你喝是因为你以为我要喝？ You took one because you thought I was?
这像是一个业务副总会做的事吗？ Is that something a Senior VP would do?
我只是表达礼貌 I was just trying to be polite.
所以如果我把我的卵蛋放在蜂蜜和去皮的椰子里… So if I, uh, was gonna put my balls in honey and shaved coconut...
你也会跟着做吗？ you'd do that too?
- 不会 - 确定？ - I would not. - Sure?
- 确定 - 我这里有一些椰子说 - Yeah. - Because I've got some coconut.
我星期二要去美白牙齿 I'm having my teeth whitened Tuesday.
所以你星期一之前就要把工作做完 You have to get your work done by Monday...
也就是说你大概周末都要在这里加班 which means you'll probably be here all weekend.
你想要升官，就要自己去争取 Look, if you want a promotion, you gotta earn it.
我常常说什么来着？ Now, what do I keep saying?
生活就像在跑马拉松，如果你不在奶头上贴一些ok绷 Life is a marathon, and you cannot win a marathon...
那就别想赢，对吧？ without putting a few Band-Aids on your nipples, right?
是的 Right.
尼克 Nick.
那是18年的苏格兰威士忌 It's 18-year-old Scotch.
你该不会希望我把它倒回瓶子里吧？ You don't really expect me to pour it back into the bottle, do you?
- 水 - 好的 - Water. - Yep.
好，来看看这东西管不管用 All right. Let's see if this thing's working. Oh!
- 我的天啊 - 很抱歉，我太会潮吹了，戴尔 - Oh, my God. - Oh! I'm sorry. I'm a squirter, Dale.
- 你知道吗？ - 什么？ - Oh, you know what? - What?
我觉得我可以让你的小弟弟现身 Ah. I think I can make out our little friend right there.
别闹了 Stop it.
- 哇，好长喔，有人割包皮了 - 好了 - Somebody's circumcised. - Okay.
- 听着 - 什么？ - Listen. - What?
- 我们可以别这样吗？ - 为什么，因为你有女朋友吗？ - Can we stop doing this thing here? - Why? Because you have a girlfriend?
她不再只是我的女朋友，我们订婚了 She's not just my girlfriend anymore. We're engaged now.
- 什么？ - 我们订婚了 - What? - We're engaged.
你说她只是有洞让你的老二插而己 You said that she was just a hole for your dick.
我才没这样说过 I never said that.
不像我的风格 Not really my style.
闭嘴 Shut up.
你给他真多笑气 That's a lot of gas.
- 很好，非常好的想法 - 是吗？ - That's good. No, those are great ideas. - Yeah?
- 把它记在纸上，可以吗？ - 没问题 - Put them down on paper, will you? - Will do.
- 你在这里很快乐，对吧？ - 是啊，当然 - You're happy here, aren't you? - Yeah, of course.
很好 Good.
你在这里的前途无量，你懂吗？ You got a bright future here, you know?
总有一天，这里会交给你经营 Someday soon, it'll be you running this place.
- 回头见，孩子 - 好的 - See you, kid. - All right, now.
- 小心开车 - 好 - Drive safe. - Yeah.
不好了 Oh, shit.
他心脏病发 He had a heart attack.
他们说他的心脏像气球般的在胸腔里爆开 They said his, uh, heart burst in his chest like a water balloon.
天啊，真是遗憾，我知道你们很要好 Oh, my God. I'm sorry, man. I know you guys were close.
是啊，我爱那家伙 Yeah. Yeah, I loved that guy.
我喜欢为他工作，你知道吗？那种感觉就是…很棒 I loved working for him, you know? It was, like, awesome.
现在他那个蠢儿子接管了公司… Now his shitbag son's gonna be in charge and it's like...
吸古柯碱的？ The cokehead?
是啊，你知道我逮到他在工作时吸毒多少次了吗？ Yeah. Know how many times I caught him doing blow at work?
发生这种事还蛮倒霉的 This thing's a real bummer. Sorry.
不过你是我们之中唯一不讨厌自己的工作的 You're the only one of us who didn't hate his job.
我有跟你们提过那个哈肯一大早8点拐我喝酒吗？ Did I tell you that Harken tricked me into having a drink at 8:00 this morning?
我好像在为一个反基督者工作 I mean, I work for the Antichrist.
- 他是怎么拐你的？ - 我以为他要给你升官咧 - How did he trick you? - I thought he was giving you a promotion.
他是啊，无庸置疑，所以他才会变的特别机车 He is, definitely. That's why he's being extra evil.
这是他最后可以整我的机会 This is his last chance to make my life miserable.
好了，至少你老板没有性侵你 Right. At least your boss isn't sexually harassing you.
- 天啊，又来了 - 不要不相信我 - God. Here we go. - Don't give me shit.
我们不会因为这种事同情你 You won't get sympathy for this.
她简直是疯了，我好像在一个不友善的环境下工作 She's going crazy. It's like a totally hostile work environment now, man.
- 这并不好笑 - 是吗？ - It's not funny. - Yeah?
好，像今天，她用水喷我胯下，想看我老二的形状 All right, today she starts spraying water at my crotch to see the outline of my dick.
- 那太好了 - 一点也不好 - That's great. - It's not great.
你在胡说些什么？你为什么不干脆…你知道的…干她？ What are you talking about? Why don't you just, you know, fuck her?
因为我订婚了，我爱我的未婚妻，好吗？ Because I am engaged to be married and I love my fiancee, okay?
那到是 That's true.
- 恭喜 - 谢谢 - Congratulations. - Thank you.
那你再去应征别的牙医助理如何？ What about getting a different dental hygienist job?
我没办法 I can't get another job.
不行，他是一个儿童猥亵者，尼克 No, he's a child molester, Nick.
不，是异常，性欲异常者？ No, uh, deviant. Sexual deviant?
是什么？他们把你归类为什么？性犯罪者 What is it? How do they classify it? Sex offender.
我现在是登记在案的性犯罪者，没错 I'm on the registered sex offender list, yes.
不能去注销掉吗？ You can't get that expunged?
你只不过是在儿童游乐场里把老二掏出来而己 All you did was pull your dick out on a playground.
我只是晚上在那里小便，当时附近又没有小孩 I was taking a piss at night, there were no kids.
好吧，你知道吗？不能在小沙堆旁边盖游乐场 All right, you know what? You don't put a playground right next to a bar.
会诱导犯罪 - It's entrapment. Mm-hm.
讲到诱导犯罪，我要去看那个女孩的阴道了 Speaking of entrapment, I'm gonna go see that girl about her vagina.
失陪了 Excuse me.
他是说10点，对吧？ He did say 10:00, right?
是啊 你知道开这个会要干嘛吗？ Yeah. Do you know what this is about?
记事板上只写着“员工会议” It just said "staff meeting" on the memo.
真是好笑，我迟到1分钟他就唧唧歪歪 It's funny how he gets all over my ass if I'm a minute late,
现在他自己迟到15分钟 but then he makes us wait 15.
- 你是迟到2分钟，尼克 - 早安 - You were two minutes late. - Morning.
- 我不认为我跟你一样要打卡 - 是的，你不用 Didn't think I had to punch a clock with you.
算了，我觉得这是因为你酗酒的关系 I'll just attribute this to your drinking problem.
- 我没有… - 拜托，我们正在开会 - I don't have... - Please, we're in the middle of a meeting.
早安，各位，我已经决定好… Morning, everyone. So I have finally decided...
…我们新任业务副总的人选了 who I want to be our new Senior Vice President of Sales.
他现在就在这里 He's right here in this room.
- 就是我本人 - 他说什么？ - It's me. - What'd he say?
我已经决定把业务副总的职位 I've decided to absorb the responsibilities...
和我的职位合并 of the Senior VP position into my own.
因为我知道如果我想把事情做的完美，我只能靠自己 I've realized if you wanna get something done right, you gotta do it yourself.
我会把空出来的办公室的墙打掉 I'll break through the wall of the office that would have been the Senior VP's...
以创造出更大、更宽敞的办公室 and make one huge enormous office.
然而呢，多出来的这份薪水，我只会领其中的85％… However, I will only be taking 85 percent of the additional salary I am entitled to...
这种自我牺牲的情操，你们要多多学习 and that is self-sacrifice, people. Learn from it.
你这混蛋! Fucker!
你这个天杀的混蛋！ You fucking son of a bitch!
你他妈的是不想干了！ You are so fucking fired!
好耶！ Yeah!
那么，散会吧 So, meeting adjourned.
- 可以跟你谈谈吗？ - 可以呀，什么事？ - Can I speak to you? - Sure, what is it?
几个月前你一直暗示我是那个职位的不二人选 For months you've been hinting I was in line for that promotion.
但是看看你最近这种表现 And look how hard you've been working.
- 你之前是在欺骗我吗？ - 欺骗？ - You were just lying to me? - Lying?
不，尼克，是激励 No, Nick, motivating.
你看，我们都是这个团队里的一份子 I mean, look, we're all part of the same team here.
不过呢，你知道，我是最能胜任额外工作的人 Plus, you know, I'm the one who's gonna be doing all the extra work.
你知道上个月你要我加班到很晚 You know last month you made me work so late...
结果害我错过跟“干干”诀别的机会吗？ I missed saying goodbye to my Gam Gam?
- 抱歉，你说谁？ - 我祖母 - Sorry, what? - My grandmother.
我跟你说过我必需去见她，因为她病的很重 I told you I needed to see her because she was very sick.
你说如果我早退，就要炒我鱿鱼 You said if I left early, I'd get fired.
结果我赶到医院时她已经死了 And she died before I made it to the hospital.
- 我很抱歉 - 谢谢 - I'm sorry. - Thank you.
我完全不知道你称呼祖母为“干干” I had no idea that you called your grandmother "Gam Gam."
我很抱歉，我很抱歉 I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
我很抱歉你来不及和“干干”道别 I'm sorry you didn't get to say bye-bye to Gam Gam.
真的…我真的…很抱歉 Really, I really am. I'm sorry.
我要你加班是因为你是这里无价的资产 But I needed you to work late because you are an invaluable member of this operation.
所以我要你坚守岗位 And I need you in the position you're in.
简直是狗屎，好吗？ Well, tough shit, okay?
在这个位子上8年了 Been in that position for eight years.
你这样对我，我为何还要留下来？ Why would I stay after being treated like this?
因为我能保证在这个行业没有别人会录用你 Well, because I'd make sure that nobody in the industry would ever hire you again.
胡扯 Bullshit.
是吗，他们会要求我写的推荐信，对吧？ No, because they're gonna want my letter of recommendation, right?
所以我会很乐意的写说，你是个不听话又不诚实的酒鬼 So I'm perfectly willing to write that you are an insubordinate, dishonest drunk.
你不能这样，那不是事实 You can't do that. That's not true.
让我告诉你吧，你这个愚蠢的小畜牲 Let me tell you something, you stupid little runt.
是我雇用你 I own you.
你就像我养的狗 You're my bitch.
别以为你有那个能耐可以想走就走，因为你并没有 Don't walk around thinking you have free will because you don't.
我随时都能毁了你 I can crush you any time I want.
所以你乖乖的继续待着吧，你还要在这里待很久咧 So settle in because you are here for the long haul.
唷，包皮 Yo, dickwall.
- 怎么回事？ - 什么？ - What the fuck? - What?
迟到3小时，这是怎么回事？ Three hours late. What's the deal?
我去参加你父亲的告别式 I was at your father's funeral.
如果我爸在这里这个借口可能还有用，但现在是我做主 Maybe that excuse would have flown when my dad was here, but I'm in charge now.
如果你爸还在那这个借口就毫无意义了 That excuse wouldn't make any sense if your dad was still here.
过来我办公室 In my office, now.
什么事？ Yes?
好的，请坐吧 All right, sit.
- 我不是小狗，巴比 - 真乖 - I'm not a dog, Bobby. - Good boy.
我一直在看这些账册 你是经理，告诉我… I've been looking through the books. You're the accountant. Tell me...
- 为什么公司好像要倒闭的样子？ - 并没有 - why is this company in the crapper? - Well, we're not.
- 只是不景气而己，但我们仍在获利 - 胡说八道 - It's a recession, but we're still profitable. - Bullshit.
我知道你和我爸是哥们儿 Look, I know you and my dad were pals.
坦白说，我一直觉得这样有点…奇怪，像是同性恋 Frankly, I always thought it was, uh, weird, it was gay.
- 你知道那个词是什么意思吗？ - 是的，男的搞男的 - Do you know what that word means? - Yeah, it's dick on dick.
不是我的包 我觉得有点奇怪… It ain't my bag. I thought it was a little bit weird...
我爸觉得你他妈的很特别 that my dad thought you were so fucking special.
不过那都无关紧要了，他已在九泉之下了 But that doesn't matter now, he's in the ground.
现在我是老板，我必须做点改革 I'm your boss. And there's gonna be some changes around here.
- 我洗听恭听 - 最重要的事先做 - Can't wait to hear them. - First things first.
医院来的账单，是拉瑞·莫瑞斯基的 Hospital bills, Larry Murinsky.
我他妈为何要为他付医院的账单，他在这里上过班吗？ Why the fuck are we paying his hospital bills, he doesn't even work here?
他不在这里上班了，因为他在我们仓库出了一次严重事故 He doesn't work here because he had a horrible accident in our warehouse.
- 是吗？这家伙半边脸烧没了 - 正是 - All right? The guy burned off half his face. - Exactly.
我不想用自己的钱去医疗怪物 I don't want my money going to support monsters.
他不是怪物 这家伙很不错 他为我们干了很多很多年 He's not a monster. He's a great guy who worked for us for many, many years.
不管他 下一个 Cut him off. Second.
环保与废弃物处理 这个花了我们很多钱 EnviroTech Waste Management. It's costing us a lot of money.
你爸说要对废弃物的处理负责 Your dad chose to dispose of our waste responsibly.
这么一来当然要花钱 To do that, you gotta spend money.
我操 交给玻利维亚人处理只要花3分之1的钱 Fuck that. The Bolivians are gonna do it for a third of the price.
- 我要雇用他们 - 不，你没办法的 - I'm gonna hire them. - No, you can't go to them.
我会的 我想会的 I Will. I think I Will.
废弃物会危害当地的居民 They're gonna endanger local residents.
只不过是几个部落的人会得癌症，这样就泪流成河了 Oh, I give a fuck some tribesman gets cancer. Cry me a fucking river.
他们不是部落，是现代化的社会 They're not tribesmen. It's a modern society.
我看起来像是会在乎这个吗？ Do I look like I fucking care?
你爸说的非常清楚，他宁愿死… Your dad told me very clearly he would rather die...
也不愿为了省钱而伤害到人，好吗？ than save money and hurt people, okay?
猜怎么着，一切都照着计划走，对吧？ Well, guess what, looks like we're right on schedule, doesn't it?
还有什么？我们要裁掉这里的一些胖子 What else? Gotta trim some of the fat around here.
什么叫“裁掉胖子”？ What do you mean by "trim the fat"?
- 我要你把胖子全部开除 - 什么？ - I want you to fire the fat people. - What?
他们懒惰又迟缓，我看到他们就难过 They're lazy, and slow and they make me sad to look at.
先从胖妞玛吉开始 玛吉，麻烦进来一下好吗？ You can start with Large Marge. Marge, can you come in here, please?
不，玛吉又不胖，她只是怀孕了 我才不会开除她 No, Margie's not fat, she's pregnant. I'm not gonna fire her.
是喔，好吧 Well, fine.
你不用过来了，玛吉 恭喜 stay where you are, Marge. Congratulations.
- 你可以开除那个… 泽维尔教授 - 你在说谁？ - You can fire, uh, Professor Xavier. - Who are you talking about?
- 你是说汉克？ - 是啊 - You mean Hank? - Yeah.
他快吓死我了，整天坐着那个特制轮椅钻来钻去 He creeps me out, rolling around all day in his special secret chair.
- 那是因为他有工作要处理 - 我不会开除任何人 - He's up to something. - I won't fire anyone.
- 你不会？确定吗？ - 是的，确定 - You're not? Oh, really? - Yeah, really.
你好像一点也不关心这间公司 It's like you don't care about this company at all.
我他妈一点都不会关心这间公司 No fucking shit I don't care about this company.
这对我来说就是个提款机 This is just an ATM to me.
你以为我小时候的梦想是要经营一间该死的化学公司吗？ You think when I was a kid I dreamed of running a fucking chemical company?
不，我的梦想是在热带的海滩上有美女替我端饮料 No. I dreamed of being on a beach with a model sewing me tropical drinks.
那才是我的梦想，而且将会实现… That's what I dreamed of. That's what's gonna happen...
只要我能从这间公司榨出利润来，现在最重要的事要先做 as soon as I squeeze the profit out of this company. But first things first.
你要么开除那个胖子 You either fire the fatty
要么开除那个跛子 or you fire the cripple,
否则我就开除你们3个 or I fire all three of you.
决定你来下 你可以打电话给朋友，请教意见，好坏均等 Decision is yours. You can phone a friend, ask the audience, fifty-fifty.
自己算吧 1个人失业还是3个人失业 Do the math. One loses the job or three loses it.
你去说 我自己清楚你会开除谁的 Your call. I think I know who you're gonna fire.
顺便叫他把残障停车证留下来 And tell him to leave his handicap parking pass when he leaves.
你得不到的 停车证是国家签发的，巴比 You can't take that. It's issued by the state, Bobby.
这个… 那你看看这儿的国家 Well, this is... You're looking at the state.
巴比地盘的国家 The State of Bobbyville.
- 明白？做事去 - 也许会是吧，巴比 - Okay? Deal with it. - That would be a town, Bobby.
我的联合王国 United States of Me.
- 好吧，开始了 - 这是全部了 - Okay, there we go. - It's all here.
- 汉克，你怎么样？ - 还行，怎么了？ - Hey, Hank, how you doing, man? - Good, what's up?
公司正处于一个艰难时刻… We're going through a real tough time...
资金问题并且… financially and...
公司准备让你走人 We're gonna have to let you go.
该死 Shit.
- 抱歉 - 各位 - I'm sorry. - Everyone.
大家注意听我说，好吗？ Uh, can I have your attention, please?
我要发布一个通告 I have an announcement to make.
我刚得知库尔特已经解雇了大家敬重的汉克 I've just learned that Kurt has fired our dear friend Hank here.
我只是要你们都知道 I just want you all to know that
我也感到震惊和愤怒，和你们一样 I am just as shocked and angered as you all are.
- 你在干什么？ - 拜托 - What are you doing? - Please.
你今天已经很过分了 我爸爸… Enough out of you already today. My dad...
在他葬礼的那一天 on the day of his funeral.
这是财务部门的决定 我无法干预 This is an accounting department decision. My hands are tied.
抱歉 你是一个冷酷、无情的混蛋，巴克曼 I'm sorry. You are one cold, heartless bastard, Buckman.
- 汉克，这不是我的主意 - 我操，库尔特 - Hank, this wasn't my idea. - Fuck you, Kurt.
请进 Come in.
茱莉亚，你找我有事？哇靠！ Julia, you needed to see me? Oh, shit.
- 你要坐一下吗，戴尔？ - 我一定要坐吗？ - Will you have a seat, Dale? - Do I have to?
请坐 Please.
好吧 Sure.
虽然这样有点荒谬，不过… This is a little ridiculous, but...
听我说，戴尔，你知道，我喜欢在工作时乱搞，对吧？ Look, Dale, you know, I know that I like to fool around at work. Right?
而我也许…你知道，也许有点过火了 And I might even... You know, I might even cross the line a bit.
不过我最不愿做的事就是让你感到不自在 But the last thing that I wanna do is make you uncomfortable.
这样很不专业，你懂吗？ I mean, it's just not professional. You know?
我对我的专业感到很骄傲 And I pride myself on being a professional.
所以从现在开始，我要你做的就是… So from now on, what I would like you to do is just tell me, you know...
不管我何时做的过火了，都要告诉我，好吗？ when and if, uh, I cross the line. Okay?
好的，就是现在 Okay. Now.
什么？ What?
你现在就有点过火了 Well, now, you're kind of crossing a line...
因为你祼体 because you're naked.
没祼体，戴尔 Not naked, Dale.
你有看到我的阴部吗？ - Can you see my pussy? - Hmm.
有道理，呃…. True. Um ...
不过我觉得，说出"阴部"这个字也算是… But I think, uh, even really saying the word "pussy" is...
- 也算是过火了？ - 有一点 - That's crossing the line? - Little bit.
你怎么听起来有点像"同性恋"？ You're starting to sound like a little faggot.
又来了，这个字也是，说出来就有点过火了 There we go. That one's another one, probably illegal thing to say too.
好吧，那我们不要讨论什么过不过火 Okay. Let's not talk about illegal,
“我喜欢在小孩身上尿尿”先生 Mr. I-Like-To-Pee-On-Little-Boys.
那是在三更半夜时，没有人在的游乐场 It was an empty playground in the middle of the night.
真是变态，可怜的小孩一定吓坏了 Ah. That's weirder. Poor child must have been terrified.
没有小孩，公园里根本没人，为什么大家都要想歪了？ There were no children. No kids in the park. Why do people think that?
好吧，算了，听我说，我们言归正传，好吗？ You know what? Forget it. Listen, let's just out to the chase, all right, mister?
- 你订婚了 - 是的 - You're engaged now. - Right.
而我非常的尊敬婚姻制度的不可侵犯性 And I respect the institution of marriage way too much to violate it.
所以你必须在结婚前好好的干我一炮 So that's why you're gonna have to fuck me well before the wedding.
因为越接近你结婚的日子 Because the closer we get to this date,
我就会表现的越不淑女 the less ladylike I'm gonna feel about it.
茱莉亚，我不会跟你上床 Julia, I'm not gonna sleep with you.
我们走着瞧 We'll see about that.
滚吧 Get out.
可以麻烦你…呃？ Could you do the, uh...?
我真是个白痴，老哈没有要给我升官 I'm a sucker. Harken wasn't gonna promote me.
那个瞌药的混蛋想要把公司给毁了 That coked-up prick is gonna ruin Pellit Chemicals.
他想将所有人都开除 He's just gonna fire everybody.
她就当着我的面站在那边露奶给我看 She stood there with her breasts right in my face.
你知道吗，你的情况听起来还不坏 Yeah, you know, yours doesn't sound that bad.
那我不要再提了 I'll stop bringing it up.
我不明白你们为什么不干脆辞职 I don't understand why you guys don't quit.
茱莉亚是唯一会雇用我的人 Julia's the only one who'd hire me.
你们像我一样是性犯罪者吗？ Are you registered sex offenders?
重回学校，换跑道，一切从头开始 谁会喜欢这样啊？ Going to school, changing fields, starting from the bottom. Who wants to do that?
我干嘛要维护佩里特的名声而他自己的儿子都不管他了呢？ What do I care about protecting Pellit's name when his own son doesn't?
- 外面有上百万个工作机会 - 你可以找到别的工作 - Gotta be a million jobs out there. - You could find another job.
不会吧？看哪 - Is this really happening? Look at this. - Oh!
三剑客：尼克，库尔特和戴尔像高中时候般的混在一起 The Three Musketeers. Nick, Kurt and Dale. Look, hanging like high school.
靠！ Oh, shit.
- 肯尼来了 - 还好吗？ - Kenny's here. - What's up?
- 我喜欢这种场合 - 肯尼·尚姆费德 - Yeah, I love this. - Kenny Sommerfeld.
活生生的，老兄，活生生的 In the flesh, boys. In the flesh.
哇，天啊 Oh, my goodness.
我听说你搬到纽约，在雷曼兄弟控股公司上班 Now, I heard you moved to New York, you're working at Lehman Brothers.
- 他们雇用我，因为我是耶鲁毕业的 - 没错 - They, uh, hired me right out of Yale. - Hell yeah.
- 聪明的肯尼 我喜欢那个 - 那你在这里做什么？ - Smart Kenny. I love that shit. - What are you doing here?
- 你没看报纸吗？他们倒闭了 - 是啊，很遗憾 - You read the papers? They shut us down. - Right. Sorry about that.
过去两年我一直在找工作 I've been looking for work for the last two years.
我连服务生的工作都找不到 I can't even get a job waiting tables.
你当服务生 我不相信那个 You waiting tables. I don't buy that.
肯尼·索姆费尔德，你被选为“成功最有潜力人士”，是吗？ Kenny Sommerfeld, you were voted "Most Likely to Succeed," weren't you?
- 所有人都认为你是稳定的 - 所有人也包括我！ - I mean, everyone thought you were set. - Everybody including me!
我告诉你们也无妨 I'll tell you what though.
如果可以的话我一定宰了雷曼兄弟 I would fucking murder those Lehman Brothers if I could.
- 我不怪你 - 我确信 - I don't blame you. - I bet.
让他们站一排，然后我一枪穿过他们三人的脑袋 Line them up, and I would put one bullet through the three of their heads.
应该那样做 That would do it.
- 看开些，肯尼 - 不，你们不理解的 - Take it easy, Kenny. - No, you guys don't understand, okay.
我曾经拿着六位数的薪水，而现在呢 I was making the high six figures, and now,
我甚至付不起这该死的一杯酒 I can't even pay for this fucking drink.
- 是吗？ - 那么我们来付好吗？戴尔来买单 - You can't? - Well, we'll cover it, right? Dale's got it.
- 严肃点 - 其实我没钱买单 - Seriously, yeah? - Uh, I actually can't cover it.
- 我来买单 - 你借钱给他？ - I'll do it. - Will you spot him?
要是多一点也许会错过吗？ Got some extra, maybe throw my way?
- 喝完酒后？ - 也许一些额外的小钱，如果你明白的话 - Beyond the drink? - Maybe some extra scratch, if you got it.
- 当然 - 能替我付钱吗？因为… - Of course. - Can you cover me? Just because...
- 我下次见你时给你钱 - 好，谢谢 - And I'll get you next time I see you. - Cool, thank you.
肯尼，我不知道是如此严重，伙计 Kenny, I had no idea it was that bad, buddy.
- 你有十块的零钱吗？ - 不，我没有 - Do you have change for a 10? - No, I don't.
知道吗？那点钱可能不够，我还是告诉你们吧 You know what? That's probably not gonna cut it, so I'll tell you what.
我给你们大家打手枪怎么样？ How about I give you guys some hand jobs?
- 打什么？ - 嗯？ - What is it? - Huh?
每次40块钱 我们就在这儿的厕所里做 Forty bucks a piece. We'll do it right here in the bathroom.
好吧，你们在讨价还价 All right, you guys are driving a hard bargain.
既然是熟人，我会让你们盯着我眼睛 Since I know you, I'll let you stare into my eyes.
- 我给你们三个一起做算100块 - 肯尼，你现在成基佬了？ - I'll do the three of you for a hundred. - Kenny, are you gay now?
- 不，我不是基佬！ - 你在干基佬那种事 - No, I'm not gay! - You just do gay stuff.
我绝对不是基佬 来吧 你们怎么说？ I'm the opposite of gay. Now, come on. What do you say?
为三个火枪手打手枪 Handies for the Three Musketeers.
来吧知道吗？我会让你们三个同时射出来 Come on. You know what? I'll hit the three of you at the same time.
戴尔，我会让你在我的腿窝位置做 Dale, I'm gonna deal with you right here behind my knee.
没人试过那种方法，你会喜欢的 你们两个，我会搞定的 Nobody's doing that, you're gonna love it. You two, I'm gonna rock you.
北欧人的方式 你知道他们现在是怎么说的吗？ Nordic style. You know what they're saying right now?
他们说我的双手达到了四星级 They're saying my hands are rated four stars.
四星级手环绕着你的弟弟 Four stars wrapped around your stick,
拇指按住，轻敲顶部，轻敲顶部 pop the thumb, nick the top. Nick the top.
轻敲顶部，轻敲顶部，弟弟射了 Nick the top, nick the top, pecker spit.
你一天都在喝酒吗，肯尼？ You been drinking all day, Kenny?
看着我 我知道自己在干什么 Look at me. I know what I'm doing down there.
没人会知道的 Nobody will ever know.
哥们，我已经告诉你离开这里了 Come on, man. I thought I told you to stay out of here.
我要走了 但听好了，如果你们改变主意了… I gotta go. But listen, if you guys change your mind...
我就待在我妈妈家里 I'm staying at my mom's house.
只要付出100块，我会让你们狂射不止… For an extra hundred, I'll let you guys pool your mayonnaise...
就射在我的肚脐上 你们会喜欢的 考虑考虑吧 right here in my bellybutton. You'll love it. Think about it.
我就在我妈家 I'll be at my mom's.
好的 Okay.
肯尼 Oh, Kenny.
那小子让我们三人太吃惊了 That dude banged all three of my sisters.
他也许在找你的兄弟，你知道的 He might be looking for your brother now, you know.
也许你不该辞职 Maybe don't quit your job.
我想我们下辈子会过的很悲惨，就这么说定了？ I guess we'll be miserable for the rest of our lives? That's the deal?
- 看起来就是这样了 - 你怎么这么说？ - That's the way it's looking. - Why you saying that?
我们没有太多选择，对吧？ We don't have many options, do we?
想想看，我们可以辞职不干，然后变成肯尼 Think about it, we can quit our jobs and turn into Kenny...
或者是…继续干，然后变成没骨气的失败者 or, uh, keep our jobs and just become spineless losers...
整天只幻想着要用什么方法把老板干掉 that spend their entire day dreaming of ways to kill their bosses.
- 你也会这样？ - 当然 - You do that too? - Of course.
- 听起来有点变态 - 不会，这只是抒发压力的一种方式 - Sounds a little sick. - It's not- It's just a way to blow off steam...
并不是真的要杀了我们老板 It's not like we're gonna actually kill our bosses.
- 很好 - 哈，不过你必须承认 - Good. - Ha, ha. Though you would have to admit...
如果我们的老板死了，那生活会轻松惬意多了 that our lives would be a lot easier if our bosses weren't alive.
假设，如果我们能杀了老板而不被抓，你们会这么做吗 Hypothetically, if we could do it and none of us get caught, would you guys do it?
- 不会 - 我会 - No. - I would.
- 不，你不会 - 我会 - No, you wouldn't. - I would.
- 你会？ - 嗯 - You would? - Yeah.
如果是为了正义就不算谋杀，正义的谋杀，对吧？ It's not murder if it's justified. Justifiable homicide, right?
我等不及要听你说了 I can't wait to hear this.
如果一个坏人的死可以解救众生，那他就去死吧 If one evil person dies for the greater good, so be it.
你知道巴比绝对是个大恶人，他是个大混蛋 You know, Bobby Pellit is an absolute monster. He's a fucking jerk.
如果他一意孤行，那最后他会害死数千名无辜的玻利维亚人 If he has his way, he's gonna end up killing thousands of innocent Bolivians.
什么？ What?
严格来讲，我认为不杀他才是不道德的 Technically, I think it's immoral not to kill him.
我应该为了没让我跟“干干”道别而杀了哈肯吗？？ I should kill Harken for not letting me say goodbye to Gam Gam?
是的，是的，该杀 Yes. Yes, you should.
不过我不在乎我们的老板有多机车，我们不是杀人犯 But I don't care how bad our bosses are. We're not murderers.
茱莉亚会毁了你的生活，你知道吗？这样是不对的 Julia is ruining your life, you know? That's wrong.
- 是不对的 - 这样会影响你往后的婚姻 - That is wrong. - It's affecting your possible marriage.
拜托，她才没有毁了我的生活 Come on, she's not ruining it.
你的生活如果没有了茱莉亚，会比较轻松吗？ Would your life be easier without Julia?
好吧，你说的没错，你知道我要怎么做吗？ You're right. Uh, know what I'm gonna do?
我要去茱莉亚的家，把她砍死 I'm gonna go to Julia's house, maybe I'll slash her up...
然后把她装箱寄给你们两个… 硬汉黑手党员？ and I'll put her in a box and I'll mail it to you two, uh, tough-guy mafiosos.
对话到此结束，饭钱你们付因为你们让我心烦 I'm done with this conversation. You're paying for dinner because you've upset me.
你们付钱，我去叫出租车 You're paying and I'm finding a cab somehow.
我刚刚只是随便说说，你知道的 I was just speaking hypothetically, you know.
我也是 Me too.
猜猜我是谁 Guess who.
听着，我现在真的没那个心情 Look, I'm really kind of not in the mood for this.
没什么心情？ Not in the mood for what?
- 嗨 - 嗨，宝贝 - Hi. - Hi, babe.
什么风把你吹来了？ Oh, what are you doing here?
- 我邀请她来的 - 是啊，她打给我 - I invited her. - Yes. She called.
她说既然我们订婚了 And she said that now that we're engaged,
她要免费替我看牙齿 she wanted to offer me free dental work.
- 你知道我有颗牙齿松脱了 - 是啊 - And you know I have that loose filling. - Yeah.
你人真的是太…太好了，茱莉亚 This really was so, so sweet of you, Julia.
拜托，别这样，史黛西，这是我的荣幸 Oh, please. Come on, Stacy, it's my pleasure.
你也算是家人了 You're part of the family now.
不过我不确定这样做妥不妥当耶，亲爱的 But, um, I don't know if it's a good idea, sweetie.
怎么说？ Oh, why not?
因为我们不能把玩乐和工作混淆在一起 Because we're mixing pleasure with business. Business and pleasure.
这样是在占茱莉亚的便宜 We're taking advantage of Julia.
戴尔 Dale.
不管你对我做了什么 There's nothing that you could do ever
都不算是占我便宜 that would be taking advantage of me.
- 好吗？ - 真体贴 - Okay? - So sweet.
好吧，我们先进去，让你吸点笑气，好吗？ All right, you. Let's go say we pump you full of gas, huh?
- 好的 - 好的 - Okay. - Okay.
完了 Fuck me.
十 Ten.
九 Nine.
我不知道你的手在干嘛 I don't know what you're doing with your hand.
- 好的 - Okay. - Seven.
把手放在安全的地方，这里有很多尖尖的器具 Put your hand in a safe place because there's sharp tools here.
好了，她睡了 Oh, there she goes.
- 过来！ - 你要做什么？你要做什么？ - Come here! - What are you doing? What are you doing?
把你的老二给我，戴尔 You're gonna give me that dong, Dale.
我的老二？ My dong?
快来插我淫荡的小嘴吧 You're gonna fuck my slutty little mouth.
你知道自己在说什么吗？谁会像这样讲话啊？ Do you hear the words you say sometimes? I mean, who talks like that?
我们在她身上做爱吧，把她的身体当床来用 Let's have sex on top of her. Let's use her like a bed.
下来，下来！嘿，嘿！快离开她 Get down, get down. Hey, hey! Get off of her.
去你的，我不干了，好吗？你知道吗？这样太过火了 Goddamn you! That's it, okay? You know what? That's crossing the line.
所以我不干了，茱莉亚 So I'm done, Julia.
去你的，我退出了，我不需要这份工作 So goodbye, I'm quitting. I'm done.
再见了，我不干了，就这样了 So goodbye, I'm quitting. I'm done.
我要跟她说你干了我 I'm gonna tell her you fucked me.
什么？ What?
如果你不干我，我就要跟她说你干了我 If you don't fuck me, I'm gonna tell her that you fucked me.
好啊，随便你要跟她说什么，反正她不会相信你 Okay. Tell her whatever the hell you want. She's not gonna believe you.
她已经知道你是性犯罪者 She already knows that you're a sex offender.
而且我认为一但她看了这个一眼 And I think once she gets a look at these...
…就会相信我了 she's gonna believe me.
- 那是什么？ - 你记不记得来上班的第一周？ - What is that? - Do you remember your first week here?
我帮你的第二双尖齿换牙套？ When I changed the crown on your second bicuspid?
记得 Yeah.
我就..呃..在疗程中拍了些照片 Well, I just, uh, took a few pictures of the procedure.
- 天啊 - 没错吧？ DALE; on, my God. Right?
不好了 Oh, no. What?
你趁我无意识时偷拍我？ You did all this while I was unconscious?
嗯…没错 Ooh. Mm-hm. Yep.
这张是我最爱的 That's my favorite.
- 强奸 - 什么？ - Rape. - What?
强奸，这是强奸，这就叫做强奸 Rape. That's a rape. This is what raping is.
你是个强奸犯，你强奸了我，这是强奸！强奸！ You're a raper and you've raped me. That's a rape! Rape!
放轻松点，茱蒂佛斯特 Just relax there, Jodie Foster.
当时你的老二根本没硬 Your dick wasn't even hard.
这样讲根本没办法让我轻松 That does not give me any relief.
不过你下次一定会硬，如果没硬… But it will be next time, and if it is not...
这个小姑娘的照片就会存在我的相簿中 this little sweetheart right here is gonna get a peek at my little photo album.
那么…麻烦帮病人准备一下要照咬翼X光片 So please prep the patient for the bitewing x-ray.
我马上回来 I'll be back in a jiffy.
算我一咖，我要杀了这个贱女人！ I'm in. Let's kill this bitch!
- 什么贱女人？ - "还会有什么贱女人"？ 当然是我老板 - What bitch? - "What bitch"? Guys, my boss.
我们的老板该死，你说的没错，我们放手一博吧 Our bosses need to die. You were right, man. We should do this thing.
我们昨天喝了酒，而且你说那样是不对的 We were drinking last night. You said that killing is wrong.
我知道，但那是在茱莉亚想要在史黛西身上跟我打炮之前的事 I know. That was before Julia tried to fuck me on top of Stacy's unconscious body.
- 真的假的？ - 真的，老兄 - Really? - Yes, dude.
她真的是完全疯了，还拍了我一堆照片 She's gone fucking batshit crazy. She took a bunch of photographs of me...
- 照片在哪？ - 那照片毁了我的人生，我不能给你们看 - Where are they? - They'll ruin my life. I can't show them.
- 要就3人一起干，你们要不要加入？ - 我昨晚是想加入 - It's a whole thing. You guys in or out? - I was in last night.
- 尼克，你呢？ - 不了，我们打电动吧 - Nick, what do you say? - Please. Let's go.
尼克，拜托 Nick, come on.
讲真的，你的祖母怎么办？那个叫"布比"的 Seriously. I mean, uh, what about your grandma, you know? Bubbe.
- “干干” - 管她叫什么 - Gam Gam. - Whatever it is.
她没能来得及和自己的孙子道别 She didn't get to say goodbye to her grandson.
就因为他那个混账老板不让他走，对吧？ Because his dickbag of a boss wouldn't let him leave. Right?
- “干干”会希望你怎么做？ - 她不会希望我杀他 - What would Gam Gam want you to do? - She wouldn't want me to kill him.
好吧，不要管“干干”了，她死了，你必须接受 Okay, forget about Gam Gam. She's dead. You gotta accept that.
这一切都看你，尼克，你希望他怎样？ This is about you, Nick. Okay, what do you want?
很明显的我希望他死 Well, obviously I want him gone.
- 没错，那就这样决定了吧 - 好吗？ - Exactly. So let's do this. - Right?
- 我们要怎么做？ - 我有想过了 - How do we do this? - I thought about that.
史黛西和我常常看"法网游龙" Stacy and I, we watch a ton of Law & Order. Huge Law & Order buffs.
在里面坏人最后被逮到的原因有很多，对吧？ There's all sorts of ways the bad guys on the show mess up, right?
他们留下皮肤组织和…弹壳… They leave behind skin cells and, uh, bullet casing...
精液 Sperm.
- 大部份都是留下精液 - 隐形杀手 - Most of the time, it's sperm. - Silent killer.
总之，这不是重点，重点是… Anyway, that's not the point. Point is...
我们都不够格，我们得雇用一个专业的 we're not qualified. We gotta hire a professional.
- 你是说雇一个杀手吗？ - 是的 - Are you talking about a hit man? - Yeah.
这真是个好主意 That's a really good idea.
是啊，这样我们就不用清理现场或为了变装而理头发 Yeah. We don't clean our own apartments or cut our own hair.
- 没错，我们付钱找人来做 - 是的 - No, we pay someone to do that. - Yeah.
实际我不用付钱 史黛西帮我理发 Well, I don't actually. Stacy cuts my hair.
- 她理发？ - 是的 - She does? - Yeah.
- 她曾经学过理发？ - 不需要学 - She have training for that? - Doesn't need it.
她应该学 She might.
那你们要上哪儿找一位杀手？ And where are you gonna find a hit man?
这件事就交给我来处理，好吗？ Why don't you guys leave that up to me, okay?
我大概已经了解要怎么做了 I got this whole thing figured out.
我明早再打电话给你们 I'm gonna give you a call tomorrow,
告知会面的时间地点 I'm gonna tell you where to meet me.
你干嘛不现在就跟我们讲？ Why don't you just tell us now?
因为我还不了解要怎么做 不过我会的 I don't have it all figured out. I got some of it figured out.
- 好的 - 我要回家开始动手了 - Okay. - I'm gonna go home and start.
好的 我也要回家了 Okay. All right. I'm gonna go home too.
你是该回了 这儿是你的家 Well, you are. This is your house here.
噢 在你走的时候我得顺便说说 Oh. I couldn't tell that by the way
你来了并喝光了我家冰箱里所有的啤酒 you go in and out of my fridge drinking all my fucking beer.
- 别，别 - 你喝吧 - No, no. - Enjoy.
- 你有被跟踪吗？ - 为什么我会被跟踪？ - Were you followed? - Why would I be followed?
通常这种情况都会被人跟踪，你确定没有吗？ People follow people in these types of situations. Sure you weren't?
天啊，什么人？ Oh, boy. What people?
你快速在四周确认一下 Just take one quick look around, make sure.
- 把这个放下来 - 四处看看，确认一下… - Let's put this down. - Look around, make sure some...
- 冷静点！ - 该冷静的是你 - Calm down! - That's what you get.
快关上门，把门闩取下，让我进去 Shut the door, take the chain off and let me in.
- 我已经把他惹火了 - 已经？ - I pissed him off already. - Already?
这到底是怎么回事？我们在这里做什么？ What the hell's going on, huh? What are we doing here?
我不希望有杀手出现在我家 I don't want an assassin in my apartment.
不能让他知道我们的住处 Don't want this guy knowing where we live.
等一下，你们已经找到人 Hang on, you guys already went ahead
而且他马上就要过来这里？ and found someone and he's coming here?
- 太屌了 - 不是“我们” 戴尔，我一个人搞定的 - Oh, bigtime. - Not "we." Dale, all by himself.
很简单，就跟买张床垫一样容易 It was easy. Easy as buying a used futon.
你在网络上找到一个杀手？ You found a hit man online?
是啊，不过他们不会直接写“杀手”，这样太蠢了 Yeah. They don't write "hit man," right? That's dumb.
他们会用密语，例如“湿刑”，懂吗？或是“清除”，看看这个 They use code words, like wet work, right? Liquidation. Check him out.
“专业技巧，多年经验…” "Skilled professional with years of experience..."
国内外执行“湿刑” in domestic and international wet work.
“行事谨慎，小孩与政治人物勿扰” "Discreet. No children, no political figures."
最后一句话很重要，我一看到就觉得“说的真好” That last part was important. I saw that, I thought, "This is a good idea."
我们应该给这个人准备一份奶酪拼盘 I feel we should've got a cheese plate for this guy.
- 真爱放马后炮 - 就是他吗？ - 20/20 hindsight. - Is that him?
- 靠！ - 没错，那一定是车子的声音 - Oh, shit. - Yeah, that was definitely a car.
- 他看起来像詹姆斯·邦德 - 的确是啊，老兄 - He looks like James Bond. - He really does, dude.
他一定是带了一把要先组装的枪 Bet he carries a gun you screw together.
真是史上最酷的枪 Those are, like, the coolest guns they make.
太危险了，如果他是个卧底警察呢？ So dangerous. What if that is an undercover cop?
- 拜托 - 万一事情演变成这样呢？ - Come on. - What if it's the real thing?
他价码太高我们付不起，然后不爽就杀了我们 He charges so much we can't afford it, gets pissed, kills us.
- 杀了我们3个？等一下 - 是这样吗？ - Kills all three of us? Hold on. - That's a thing?
会发生吗？ Could that happen?
- 该让他进来了 - 我的发型如何？ - Gotta let him in. - How's my hair?
- 关你发型什么事？ - 没事，我们上吧 - What do you mean? - It doesn't matter. Let's do this. Okay.
准备好了吗？ Ready?
什么事？ Yeah?
你是戴尔吗？ Are you Dale?
我就是戴尔 I am the one they call Dale.
请进 Please come in.
谢谢 Thank you.
你们3位都要参与吗？ Are all three of you participating in this?
- 是的 - 呃… - Yes. - Well, um ...
- 是的，是的 - 是的 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep. Yep. - Yes.
很好 Very well.
好，在我们进行下一步之前… Now, before we go any further...
我要知道这里有没有任何隐藏式摄影装置？ I need to know if there are any hidden recording devices in the room.
如果有的话我会找出来的 I will find out if there are.
我相信你找的到，不过并没有因为那样的话我们就太蠢了 I'm sure you would, but there's none because that would be stupid of us.
- 那就太笨了 - 没有那种东西 - That's a silly move. - It's a no.
那我们开始吧 Then let's get started.
- 我爱这家伙 - 他是货真价实的 - I love this guy. - This is the real deal.
- 他的声音，你在开玩笑吗？ - 这家伙是专业级的 - His voice, you kidding? - This guy is legit.
你们应该知道开始之前我要先… And you do know that we just wanna start with a...?
哇，哇，哇，等一下，这是干什么用的？ Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, wait, what's this for?
- 为了不弄脏地板 - 什么？ - For the mess. - What?
不想留下任何污点，好了 Wouldn't wanna leave a stain, now.
- 我的天啊，我就知道 - 谁先来？ - Oh, my God. I knew it. - Who's first?
- "谁先来"？ 不 - 并不是要你杀了我们 - "Who's first"? No. - We don't want you to kill us.
我们要你杀的另有其人，如果要杀我们的话，先杀他好了 We want you to kill another person. If anyone's first, probably him.
不，可恶！ No. Goddamn it.
先生，先生，你们在胡说些什么？ Gentlemen, gentlemen, what are you talking about?
你的广告上面写你执行"湿刑" Your ad said you do wet work.
没错 That's correct.
我藉由尿尿在男人身上来赚钱 I urinate on other men for money.
- 那是什么？ - 他说什么？ - What was that? - What'd he say?
我想他是说他尿尿在男人身上 I think he said he pisses on dudes.
不然你以为我的广告为何会刊登在"男找男"区？ Why else do you think my ad was in the "men seeking men" section?
什么区？ Where was it?
- 你这个白痴 - 你是笨蛋吗？ - You fucking idiot. - Could you be dumber?
- 为什么去"男找男"区…？ - 我们是男找男没错啊！ - Why look in the "men seeking men"...? - We are men looking for a man!
你这么笨怎么能当牙医？ How do people let you work on their teeth?
我不是，其实我的工作只是递工具给茱莉亚 They don't, actually. I just hand the tools to Julia.
你们是要告诉我，我大老远开车来 Are you telling me that I've driven all this way
结果没人让我尿他身上？ and nobody wants to get pissed on?
我们没这种癖好 Well, it's not our thing.
很抱歉 Sorry about that.
可以借一下厕所吗？为了这次我存了一堆的尿 Can I use your toilet? I stored up rather a large amount of pee for this.
好的 没问题，往那直走就是了 请自便 Sure. Yeah, it's right through there. Knock yourself out.
顺便说下，我还是要跟你们收200块 Oh, and by the way, I still will want my $200.
- 了解 - 我们坚持 - Understandable. - We insist.
- 200块，是吗？价格便宜 - 想杀3个人？ - Two hundred, huh? A bargain. - To kill three people?
- 我想说这是个很划算的交易 - 笨蛋 不可思议 - I thought it was such a good deal. - Dipshit. Unbelievable.
我去车里 I'll be in the car.
好，但你们准备集资用于… Okay, but you guys are gonna chip in for the...
我是该把所有钱都给他吗？ Am I gonna have to give him all my money?
先生，我把给你的钱放在床上 Sir, I'm going to leave your money on the bed.
天啊，他会浇透我们的 God, he would have drenched us.
好吧，我认为应该都要怪那个人 Okay, I'm gonna take the blame on that one.
- 你最好是怪他 - 是你自己欠骂 - You bet your ass you will. - You should take the blame.
- 这是无心的错误 - 杀手不是这样找的 - It was an honest mistake. - That's not how you find a killer.
- 喔，你知道要怎么找杀手？ - 是啊，我想我… - Oh, you know how to find a killer? - Yeah, I bet I...
嘿，你知道吗？我有个主意 Yeah, hey, you know what? Yeah. I got an idea.
你在做什么？ What are you doing?
晚安，巴克曼先生 Good evening, Mr. Buckman.
感谢你启动卫星导航，我的名字叫杰格利 Thank you for contacting Nav Guide. My name is Gregory.
今晚由我来为你服务可以吗？ How may I be of service this evening?
可以，我们在找城里最危险的酒吧，你可以帮我们吗？ Yeah, we're looking for the most dangerous bar in the city. Can you help us, please?
- 我们要去吃晚餐 - 你说什么？ - We're going to dinner. - I'm sorry?
找一间罪犯、恶棍和社会败类聚集在一起的酒吧 Looking for a bar filled with criminals. Lowlife thugs, hard-core shitheads.
- 有没有什么建议？ - 我们去餐厅吧 - What do you got for us? - Let's go to a restaurant.
我们的清单并没有按照危险等级来排序，先生 I'm afraid our listings are not organized by danger, sir.
我看到离这里3条街处有间苹果蜂蜜餐厅 I see there's an Applebee's three blocks from your location.
- 好极了 - 不，那没什么帮助 - Perfect. - No, not really helpful.
那不是我们要找的地方，还有吗？ They're not the kind of shitheads we need. Anything else?
我可以引导你们到附近一个地方… I could direct you to a neighborhood...
那里发生过许多劫车事件 with the greatest number of cadackings.
- 这样才叫有创意嘛 - 我想要吃晚餐 - Now we're thinking outside the box. - I wanna go to dinner.
我喜欢 - Love it. - That's probably right.
好极了，你们也许应该把车门锁好 - Very good, sir. - You may wish to lock your doors.
这比被尿在身上更糟 - This is worse than getting pissed on. - Shh.
- 我宁愿被尿 - 老天 - I'd rather be pissed on. - Jesus.
你不是在说笑耶，杰格利，这里是城里治安很差的地区 You weren't kidding, Gregory. This is, uh, a bad part of town.
你应该一直待在在线，你还在，对吗？ You can stay on the line. You're still there?
- 我还在 - 要随时..和我们保持联机 - I'm still here, sir. - Just keep, uh, keep us on the line.
我一直觉得很好奇，杰格利是你的本名吗？ I'm always curious about these things, but is your real name Gregory?
呃…不，我的本名是阿特曼那 Uh, no, sir. My real name is Atmanand.
那为什么会变成杰格利 How do you get Gregory from that?
杰格利是卫星导航… Oh. Gregory was assigned to me...
- 指派给我的名字 - 为何不让你用本名？ - .-.by Nev Guide- - Why not let you use your real name?
因为他们说美国人觉得我的名字很难念 They say many Americans find our real names hard to pronounce.
我决定不按照他们的游戏规则了 I'm not gonna play by their rules anymore.
从现在开始，我要叫你阿曼那 From now on, I'm gonna call you Ahmenan.
- 阿特曼那 - 阿曼那 - Atmanand. - Ammenand.
- 阿特曼德 - 阿特曼那 - Atmanad. - Atmanand.
还是叫你杰格利好了，念你的本名像在做恶梦 I'm gonna call you Gregory, that name's a nightmare.
- 嗨，宝贝 - 老天啊 - Hey, baby. - Oh, boy.
- 你伤到他了 - 我没有 - You hurt his feelings. - I didn't.
你已经抵达目地了 You have arrived at your destination, sir.
- 好的，谢了，杰格利 - 不客气 - All right. Well, thanks, Gregory. - You're welcome.
好耶！好耶！这就对了 All right. All right, here we go.
- 这真的不是个好主意 - 这真是个好主意 - This is a really bad idea. - This is a great idea.
- 是不是要大叫"有人要杀人赚钱吗"？ - 不 - Gonna yell "anybody here kill for money"? - No.
- 那样太恐怖了吧 - 跟我走，我来搞定 - That's a terrible plan. - Follow me. I got this.
- 你要去哪里？ - 我觉得我们不该待在这 - Where you going? - I don't feel we should stay.
好吧 All right.
- 有健身喔？ - 闭嘴 - Bowflex? - Shut up.
好兄弟 My man.
嘿，这里有人为钱杀人吗？ Hey, uh, does anyone here kill people for money?
- 库尔特 - 你他妈的说什么？ - Kurt. - The fuck you just say?
不，这跟种族无关 No, it's not a race thing.
我相信这个社会歧视并剥夺了你们这族人的权利 Uh, I believe that society discriminates and disenfranchises you folks.
- "你们这族人"？ - 不是那个意思 - "You folks"? - Subtle.
我是这家酒吧的老板，你是在说谁被剥夺公民权？ Man, I'm a small-business owner. Who the hell you calling disenfranchised?
刚刚那句话不是特别在说你 Well, not you in particular, in that instance.
- 喔，懂了，你是指全部的黑人 - 没错 - Oh, right. You mean all black people. - Yes.
- 我去车上等 - 哇，一根球棒 - I'm gonna be in the car. - Oh, a baseball bat.
我不是有意要冒犯你，如果是这样的话我道歉 Uh, I didn't mean to offend you. I'm sorry if that's what happened.
你应该知道我的心地很善良 My heart's in the right place.
5秒内我就打的你满地找牙 In five seconds, your heart gonna be in the wrong place.
- 4、3、2…我们滚吧 - 了解，好，你保重 - Four, three, two, let's roll. - Got it. Okay. Take care.
愿你今天美好 Have a nice day. Good day to you.
再见啦，宝贝 Bye, baby.
什么都别说，我知道，我知道 Don't say a word. I know, I know.
快开车门，快开车门 Hit the button. Hit the button.
- 我不晓得耶，是不是该罢手了 - 没错，绝对是 - Guys, I don't know. Should we quit? - Yeah, definitely.
- 我想我可以帮你们 - 他是在跟我们讲话吗？ - Yo. Think I can help you boys. - Is that for us?
- 走吧 - 没兴趣，谢谢 - Here we go. - Not interested, thank you.
居然跟着一个陌生人到阴暗的角落 Let's follow a strange guy into a dark corner.
听说你们想要找人谈一些生意？ Somebody said y'all looking for somebody to help with business.
没错 Yep.
- 你是生意人吗？ - 是的 - are you a businessman? - Yeah.
干你妈的琼斯 Motherfucker Jones.
- 什么东东？ - 干你妈的琼斯 - How's that? - Motherfucker Jones.
你名字是“干你妈的”？ Your first name is Motherfucker?
不是“干你妈的” 是“干你妈滴” Not Motherfucker. Motherfuckah.
白人说“的” 黑人说“滴” White people say "er." Negroes say "fuckah."
- 明白了 - 你说“的” 我说“滴” - Got it. - You say E-R. I say A-H.
很酷的名字，你的出生证明上也是这个名字吗？ Cool name. Yeah. Is that, like, on your birth certificate too?
不，你傻啊 No, goofball.
我的本名是迪恩 My real name is Dean.
迪恩·琼斯，跟《金龟车贺比》里的演员同名，可爱的虫子 Dean Jones. Same name of the actor in Herbie, the Love Bug.
他不知道那是谁啦 He won't know who that is.
- 我知道他是谁，笨蛋 - 抱歉 - I know who he is, bitch. - Sorry.
我要在这种地方混就不能用那个狗屁迪斯尼名字 I can't walk around in this fucking neighborhood with that Disney-ass name.
那你怎么会取名叫“干你妈的”？ How'd you get the name Motherfucker?
在我小时候，我偷溜进我妈的房间 When I was a kid, I snuck into my mother's bedroom.
- 她正睡在床上 - 她整晚都在喝酒 - She was sleeping on the bed. - She had been drinking all night.
- 我听够了 - 她的皮肤在发光 - I've heard enough. - Her skin was glistening.
- 于是我溜到她后面… - 迪恩 - And I snuck up behind hen… - Dean.
并把我的手指塞入… And I slipped my fingers...
- …她的钱包里 - 钱包？他说“钱包” - ...Into her purse. - Purse? He said "purse."
- 我拿了她所有的钱 - 是她一周的薪水 - And I took all of her money. - And it was her week's pay.
- 她真的被我搞惨了 - 干你妈的！ - I really fucked her over. - Motherfucker!
这就是为什么我名叫干你妈的琼斯 And that's how I got the name Motherfucker Jones.
好吧 Right.
他们应该叫你“干你妈的-完了-琼斯”才不会混淆 They should call you Motherfucker-Over Jones to avoid confusion.
- 混淆什么？ - 没什么混淆的 - What's the confusion? - There's no confusion.
我们还是言归正传好了，我们每个人都有老板，呃… We're gonna get back on track here. Sir, we each have a boss, uh...
他们…你知道 that, you know...
有3个老板，然后最好是这些老板都不再… There's three bosses, and it would be best if those bosses maybe were no longer ...
- 不再存在… - 我们想让他们… - No longer around anymore. - We want them...
你懂吗？…被杀掉 You know? ...killed.
你们有钱吗？ You got the cheese?
我们有钱，你想要多少？ We got the cheese. What kind of cheese are you thinking?
- 要干掉3个吗？那就是…. - 是的 - What is that, three hits? That's ... - Yeah.
- 30张大的 - 哇 - Thirty large. - Whoa.
- 饥渴 - 那样是很多钱 - Hungry. - That's a lot of cheese.
不然这样吧 Oh, here's an idea.
如果你杀了2个，那剩下的1个交给我们，就给你20张就好？ If you kill two, could we get the third one hold the cheese?
没得商量，30张不然就拉倒 It's no negotiations. Thirty large or nothing.
- 那样超出我们预算很多 - 好，现在我要50张了 - That's more cheese than we've got. - Okay, then... It's five large now.
就这么定了，就这么定了，好吧？ Then We're in. We're in. We're in. Right?
等一下，那不是很可怕吗？ Hang on. Wouldn't it be awful
如果最后警察追踪到我们身上 if it was traceable back to us?
我连你们叫什么都不知道 I don't even know your names.
- 真没礼貌，这是戴尔 - 别说出我的名字 - That is rude. This is Dale. - Don't say my name.
闭嘴！听着，明天把钱带来这里，剩下的交给我处理 Shut the fuck up. Listen. Bring the money here tomorrow, I'll take care of the rest.
要不要装在什么特定的容器里，鞋盒或行李袋？ Do you want it in something specific, a shoebox, duffel bag?
- 就带钱来这里就对了 - 是的 - Just be here with the fucking money. - Yeah.
- 放在公文包里吧 - 谢谢你 - Put it in a briefcase. - Thanks for your time.
走吧 Here we go.
你刚刚有想到要说公文包吗？ Is the briefcase coming out of your end?
看起来都在这了 Looks like it's all there.
根本不需要公文包，只是一小迭而己 Didn't even need a briefcase. It's a smell stack.
- 应该用个马尼拉纸信封装就好了 - 没关系 - We should have used a manila envelope. - It's all right.
你之前有过什么丰功伟业呢，干你妈的？ What is your projected outside date of completion, Motherfucker?
我因为犯了非常恶劣的罪行被判了10年 I just got back from doing a dime for some real nasty shit.
- 他是指10年 - 我知道 - That's 10 years. - I know.
他们正在监视我，我正在缓刑期间，如果我越界了… They're looking at me. I'm on probation, and if I step out of line...
就要再回去蹲苦牢 I'm going back.
- 是啊 - 了解 - Right. - Understood.
- 就这样？ 讲完了？ - 那是什么意思？ - Period? End of story? - What does that mean?
- 等等，你说事情交给你处理 - 没错，我会处理 - Wait. You said you'd take care of this. - Yeah, I'll take care of it.
我会当你们的杀人顾问 I'm gonna be your murder consultant.
很抱歉，不过呢…呃…. I'm sorry, but, uh ...
不好吧，对吗？ 这样一点也不酷 No, man. Right? That's not cool.
你这鼠辈再不闭嘴的话… You don't shut this fucking hamster up ...
- 别叫我鼠辈，拜托 - 冷静，冷静 - Don't call me a hamster now. Come on. - Easy, easy.
- 这样讲很不适当 - 不，还蛮正确的 - It's just upsetting. - No, it's somewhat accurate.
听着，这和我们讲好的不一样，干你妈的 Look, that is not what we talked about, Motherfucker.
不然干脆我们把钱拿回来，然后离开这里如何？ So how about we just take the money and we'll get out of here?
不然你回去自己打手枪如何？不退费 How about you go fuck yourself? No refunds.
那可是5000块，如果你觉得我们会… That's $5000. If you think we're just...
就这样走出去，把钱留给你… gonna walk out and let you keep that...
- 我想你们大概忘了… - 别那么冲动 I think you're forgetting... Don't go grabbing quickly.
天啊 Jesus.
干你妈的先生，拜托，别杀我们，有事好商量 Mr. Motherfucker, please, don't shoot us. Let's just talk it out.
听着，这5000是我的，没得商量 Listen, $5000 is mine. I don't care what you say.
你们要嘛接受我的建议，要嘛就滚蛋 You can take my advice or get the fuck out of here.
- 这真是个可怕的交易 - 我们应该听他的 - That's a terrible deal. - We should listen.
- 好，你的建议值5000吗？ - 是的 - Okay, $5000 worth of advice? - Yeah.
大部份的杀人凶手都是初次犯案 Most killers are first-timers.
想要来个超完美谋杀 You wanna pull off a brilliant murder,
就要搞得像是意外 you gotta act like it's an accident.
剎车失灵，瓦斯外泄，自杀… Failed brakes, gas leaks, suicide.
顺利的话，凶案发生时你甚至根本不在场 You do it right, you ain't even gotta be there when it goes down.
哇，这真的有5000的价值，对吧？ Oh, boy. That's five grand worth, huh?
- 这是常识吧 - 不见得，这是不错的信息，对吧？ - Pretty pedestrian. - Not really. Obvious information, isn't it?
听起来像真有点本事，我们要如何制造3个假的意外？ Sounds like Scooby-Doo. How are we supposed to fake three accidents?
跟踪你们的目标 You stalk your prey.
机灵点，找出他们的住处 Gotta be smart. Find out where they live,
生活习惯，有什么嗜好等等 find out their habits. What's their hobbies?
喜欢的东西，爱吃的食物，和谁交往 What they like, what food they like, who they fucking.
- 说的真对 - 找出他们的弱点 - Word. - Find them vulnerable.
- 我有工作要做，你知道吗？ - 那是怎样，是要监视与侦察吗？ - I have a job, you know? - What's that, surveillance and recon?
所以我们才要找别人，因为我们不想干这些事，我们有工作的 That's why we were hiring, because we wanna sub that out. We have jobs.
就算你们干的很完美 Even if you pull it off perfectly...
如果你们有动机的话 if you crackers got motives...
那么波波… the popo...
- 指的是波丽士(警察) - 就可能会锁定你们 - That's police. - ...will pin it to you.
我们都有很明确的动机想要杀老板 We all have clear motives for killing our bosses...
所以这招不能用，跟垃圾一样 so this is not gonna work. This is garbage.
我有点子了 I got it.
你们何不互相干掉对方的老板？ Why don't you kill each other's bosses?
- 这个点子不错 - 还不赖 - That's actually a good idea. - It's not bad.
就像希区考克的《火车怪客》，对吧？ Yeah, like Hitchcock's Strangers on a Train, right?
我没看过，是这样演的吗？ I didn't see that. They do that?
丹尼·德维托的电影 很好笑 Danny DeVito movie. It's funny.
那部很有名的希区考克和丹尼·德维托的电影，就是他把… That famous Alfred Hitchcock, Danny DeVito movie. That's the one he's...
少来了，你心里想的是《谋害老妈》这部吧 Come on. You're thinking of Throw Momma From the Train.
- 我就是讲这部 - 这部我有看 - That's what it is. - That I saw.
好电影，就是你想的那部 Good movie. That's what you're thinking about.
意思一样，我们互相杀了对方的老板，反正没有什么关联 Same idea, though. We kill each other's bosses, there's no link to us.
没错，5000花的值得，对吧？ Exactly. Five thousand dollars well spent, right?
- 一点也不值得 - 简直浪费钱 - No. Not at all. - Waste of money.
那真是太糟糕了 Well, too fucking bad.
滚吧 Get out.
哈啰 Hello.
嘿！我在外面，你做好侦察的准备了吗？ Hey. I'm outside. You ready to do a little recon?
好了，不过我必须叫哈肯让我提早下班 Yep. Yeah. I have to get Harken to let me leave a little bit early.
这有什么区别？反正他当你老板也剩没多久了 What's the difference? Not like he'll be your boss much longer.
我3分钟内下去 I'll be down in three minutes.
就3分钟，再见，他3分钟内下来 Three minutes it is. Bye. He'll be down in three minutes.
老兄，这座椅真他妈的舒服 Dude, these seats are crazy comfortable.
看这个，我知道，是不错 Look at this. I know, it's so good.
这是我读过最烂的报告，你这白痴 The worst report I have ever read in my life, you nimwit.
你真是他妈的智障 You're such a fucking dweeb.
你有停车位吗？我要取消你停车的资格 Do you have a parking space? Because I'm gonna take it away from you.
算什么，就像你的丈母娘了解我的老婆吗？ Who is it, like your mother-in-law that knows my wife?
你怎么有办法在这里上班，我真他妈不明白 How you got this fucking job, I don't even understand.
怎么回事？ What the hell?
抱歉，各位 我一整天都忙着侦错，我马上回去继续工作 Sorry, everybody. I've been fighting that bug all day. Let me get back to work.
不不不，你真恶心，回家吧 No, no, no. You're disgusting. Go home.
我不希望你把病传染给别人 I don't want you getting anyone else sick.
这样也好 Probably best.
把工作带回家做，星期一早上6点前放我桌上 Take all your work with you and have it on my desk 6 a.m. Monday.
- 没问题 谢谢，哈肯先生 - 老天啊 - You got it. Thank you, Mr. Harken. - Jesus Christ.
- 别忘了顺便把垃圾桶带走 - 好的，反正是我买的 - Don't forget to take your fucking trash can. - Yeah. No, that's mine.
你真是跟猪一样恶 You goddamn barfing pig.
偶数的号码是在这边 Evens are over here.
我知道，不过某些街道的偶数号码是在另一边 I know, but sometimes on some streets evens are on the opposite side.
才不是 Never.
才不是，也永远不会是 到了，428号 Never have and they never will. There it is, 428.
- 哪一间，那一间？ - 不要停在正对面 - Which one, which one? - Don't stop right in front of it.
就停在这里，在这里，这里 Stop right here. Right here, right here.
好了，大伙们 Okay, boys.
我们等佩里特有动作后再跟踪他，对吗？ We wait till Pellit makes a move, then we tail him, all right?
- 这就像在玩《大金刚》 - 哈哈 - It is on like Donkey Kong. - Ha, ha.
- 没错，老兄 - 我们要上了，对吧？ - Hells yeah, man. - Here we go, huh?
- 下次朝另外方向吐气 - 我口臭吗？ - Fire that the other way next time, okay. - Is my breath bad?
- 是的 吃点口香糖或向后靠 - 我吃过一个沙拉三明治 - Yeah. Find some gum or lean back. - I had a falafel.
你吃过沙瓦玛，对吗？像是羔羊的错 You had a shawarrna, right? It's like a lamb mistake.
- 你在哪儿吃的三明治？ - 在米奇家 - Where'd you get a falafel? - Mickey's.
米奇家有三明治？别开玩笑了 Mickey's has falafels? No kidding.
你为何不靠后些呢？ Why don't you lean back?
因为他把车停在一棵树前面了 Because he parked right in front of a tree.
如果我靠后，就不能看见那儿的房子 If I lean back, I can't see the house over there.
别让我发火，否则有你好看 Stop exasperating on me, or watch your H's.
用鼻子呼吸也是臭的吗？ Through the nose stinks too, okay?
这角度让我不爽 I hate that angle.
我们应该坐低点 如果他看见三个家伙… We should probably get lower. If he sees three guys...
- 坐低一点 - 我要坐回去 - Slouch down a little. - I'm gonna get back.
- 你要坐回你的座位了？ - 如果你坐到你的位子… - You're gonna back your seat up? - If you get in your seat...
我不能坐回去 I can back my seat up.
从这儿真的没有太好的角度，因为那儿有棵树 I don't really have a good angle from here because there's that tree.
- 你有整面窗户可以看过去 - 我来了 - You got a whole window to look through. - I'm coming up.
- 拜托，往后靠 - 我喜欢三个男人这种事 - Come on, lean back. - I like the three man thing.
你在干什么，库尔特？ What are you doing, Kurt?
- 发生什么了？ - 他就在附近，伙计 - What's going on? - He's fucking around, man.
用手在你脸上做个窗口 Creating a finger web in front of your face.
那是…？那就不是一种伪装吗？ Is that...? Is that like a camouflage?
是他的老板 他才是能够被认出来的人 It is his boss. I mean, he's the one who's going to get recognized.
手形窗 这叫做手形窗 Finger-flage. It's called finger-flage.
手形窗 真是一个该死的好主意，哥们 Finger-flage. This is actually a pretty damn good idea, dude.
卷起你的窗口 求你了，我无法… 无法… Just roll up your window. Please, I can't... I can't...
- 做手形窗 - 这两个小时别开玩笑了 - Do the finger-flage. - Let's not have jokes for two hours.
- 这是很严肃的事情 - 这太有趣了 - This is serious business. - This is fun.
天啊，我无法相信是如此差劲 Oh, my God. I cannot believe how much this sucks.
我不明白，伙计 在电视里的监视场景总是很有趣的，对不？ I don't get it, man. On TV, surveillance always looks fun, right?
你知道那些警察吃着瓜子，喝着咖啡 You know, the cops, they got the sunflower seeds and the coffee.
谈论着他们的生活琐事 然后… Talk about their lives and shit. And then...
正当某人暴露或暗示某件事发生时，警察出现了 You know, right when someone reveals something really intimate, the perp appears.
- 他们突然活跃起来 - 是的 - They spring into action. - Yeah.
确定这家伙在家吗？ Are we even sure this guy's home?
- 我们下车看看吧 - 是啊，应该去看一下，对吧？ - Let's go check this out. - Yeah, we should probably look, right?
老天啊 Oh, my God.
你们打算怎么做？有什么计划吗？ What do you wanna do? What's the plan?
我们站在那个窗户旁往里面看 Let's look through this window right here.
不不不，我们按电铃吧 No, no. No, let's ring the bell.
你不能按电铃 You're not gonna ring the bell.
应该站窗户旁往里面看 Look through the window right here.
貌似他不在家，我看房子里都没什么动静… Chances are, he's not home. I haven't seen any activity in this house...
你要干什么？千万不要去按电铃 What are you doing? You're not gonna ring the doorbell.
- 快来，快来 - 戴尔，戴尔，戴尔 - Come on. Come on. - Dale, Dale, Dale.
我还没进去 I didn't make it in.
抱歉，我来不及进去 I'm sorry, guys. Didn't make it in.
你要来吗？ You in?
我好了 我的老天啊，这家伙有一只熊？ Yeah, I'm okay. Jesus Christ, the guy owns a fucking bear?
- 我们闯空门进来了 - 我知道，嘘…哇，你们看 - We're breaking and entering here. - I know. Shh. Oh, look at this.
看看这个地方，太惊人了，看起来像个博物馆 Look at this place. It's awful. It's like a douchebag museum.
就好像我们踏进了一个混蛋的内心世界 It's like we stepped inside the mind of an asshole.
靠，他有一张手足球桌 Shit. He's got a foosball table.
戴尔！别碰任何东西，把手拿开 Dale! Don't touch anything. Get your hands off that.
- 指纹 - 是啊，指纹 - Fingerprints. - Yeah, fingerprints.
天啊，我们应该要戴手套 God. We should be wearing gloves.
我们没有… 这里 我知道了 We don't have... Oh, here. I know.
用你们的袖子，用你们的袖子 Use your sleeves. Use your sleeves.
- 要干嘛 - 当手套用 - For what? - Use them for gloves.
- 别闹了 - 我从这里就能看到我的指纹 - Come on. - I can see my fingerprints from here.
现在要干嘛？有什么计划吗？ What do we do? What's the plan?
我们要在这里找一些料 We're here to get some intel.
- “料”？ - 就是“情报资料”的缩写 - "Intel"'? - It's short for "intelligence."
- 我知道那代表什么 - 那你还问个屁？ - I know what it stands for. - Then why did you ask?
我们聊这个做啥？分开行动吧 Why are we talking about this? Let's split up.
东翻翻，西找找 In and out, in and out.
一定会找到有用的信息 We'll find something good,
然后我们再离开这里 and we're in and out of here.
- 别聊天了，快点找吧 - 我们正在犯罪，这是犯罪 - Stop chatting and start looking. - We're committing a crime. This is a crime.
- 尼克 - 怎样？ - Nick. - Yeah?
这应该算是一种信息，对吧？ Now, this would count as intel, right?
我靠！这是一堆古柯碱 Holy shit, that's a lot of cocaine.
你有看过这么多古柯碱吗？ Have you ever seen this much cocaine?
这样大概值…多少，1万5吗？ That's gotta be worth, what, 10, 15,000...?
我打翻了，我打翻了，对吗？ Oh, I blew it. I blew that, didn't I?
- 别吸进去了 - 把盒子捡起来，我把它装回去 - Don't inhale. - Grab the box. I'll scoop it in.
我完全不想碰，我没有袖子当手套 I really don't wanna touch it. I don't have sleeve-gloves.
找个替代品吧，我要开始装了 Get something to... Ugh. I'll scoop it in.
好苦 So bitter.
我刷我刷我刷屁眼 In the butt you go, go, go.
好了 There you go.
好大一勺 Big scoop.
好了，让我试试这个，小心点 All right, let me try this. Look out.
- 好，那个更好用 - 小心点 - Yeah, that better work. - Watch out.
这就对了 There you go.
- 我不晓得 - 慢一点 - I don't know. - Go slow.
去沙发上，别越帮越忙 Get on the couch. Stop helping.
好的 All right.
进去了 In you go.
你应该先把集尘袋清空 You probably should have emptied the DustBuster first.
这就是你所想的吗？ Is that what you think?
我就是这样想的，因为都是粉末 I was thinking that. On account of the dust.
之前就听过清屁股缝这回事，不过这真是太好笑了 Well, I've heard of butt floss, but this is ridiculous. Ha, ha.
- 拿个筛子来，或是… - 滤器 - Get a sifter, or a... - Colander.
有滤器的话最好 Colander would be good.
我开始挑吧 And I'll start picking.
就这样了 That'll do.
我觉得我快要搞定了，我就像台机器，看我动作有多快 I feel like everything'll work out. I'm like a machine. Look how fast I am.
我动作超级快，鼻子都没感觉了 I'm moving super fast. I can't even feel my nose.
想知道什么事很诡异吗？我现在应该要觉得恐慌… Wanna know what's weird? I should be panicking...
其实是有一点，不过是属于好的那方面 ..-and I am a little, but it's in a very good way...
这种恐慌的感觉还不坏，因为我想要去死… It's a good kind of panic because I feel like I wanna die...
- 不过我也感觉非常非常的舒服 - 是啊 but I also feel very, very, very good. Yeah.
喂！你们两个在干嘛？ Hey! What are you guys doing?
没什么，不过在离开前，我要再去大一次便 Nothing. But before we go, I wanna take one more dump.
你去大便那我要做扶地挺身，因为我想要练身体 Take a dump and I'm gonna do push-ups. Because I gotta get fit.
你们到底干了什么好事？ What the hell have you guys done?
我觉得好爽，要不要来帮我清理？ I'm feeling good, dude. Wanna help me clean?
我们因为这样认识，这就叫做友谊 We bond over this. This is friendship stuff.
我们闯入别人家里，这是我一生中最特别的经验 We broke into someone's house. It's the most amazing experience of my life.
我们闯入别人家里 We broke into a man's house.
然后突然间我就成了筛选古柯碱的专家 Suddenly, I'm like an expert at sifting cocaine.
太神奇了，快过来帮我 It's amazing. Come here and help me with this.
真不敢相信我们事先没做好功课 Can't believe we weren't prepared.
刚刚真是太危险了，完全是浪费时间 That was completely dangerous, a total waste of time.
不，其实也不完全是浪费时间，看看我拿了什么 Well, no. Actually, not a total waste of time. Look what I got.
- 还不赖，对吧？ - 那是什么？ - Not bad, huh? - What is that?
- 这是他的手机吗？ - 这是他的手机 - Is this his phone? - That's his phone.
- 你偷的？ - 是的 - You steal this? - I sure did.
里面有他的联系人、行程表 I got his contacts, schedule. Weird pictures of him doing awesome shit.
- 非常好 - 谢谢 - Very nice. - Thank you.
- 不好 - 什么叫"不好"？ - No. - What do you mean, "no"?
那是犯罪，没有人说我们还要偷东西 That's a crime. Pfft. Nope. Ha. No one said we'd be stealing.
- 这东西偷的好 - 我们闯空门，你们吸了古柯碱！ - This is a good grab. - We broke in! You guys did cocaine!
- 好吧，2..3件罪行 - 他快虚脱了，别理他 - Right. Two... Three crimes. - He's all jitzed out. Ignore him.
我们都准备要杀掉3个人了 We're in the process of getting ready to kill three people...
你还有心情管我偷了一只手机？ and you're giving me shit about stealing a phone?
你如果要偷东西的话要跟我报备 Run it by me if you'll be stealing stuff.
- 跟你报备？ - 跟我报备 - Run it by you? - Run it by me!
- 尼克，帮我握一下方向盘好吗？ - 你在做什么？ - Nick, will you hold this for a second? - What are you doing?
"报备"？ 我才不会跟你报备什么东西 "Run"? I'm not gonna run anything by you.
我才不会跟你报备什么东西，你这白痴 I'm not gonna run anything by you. Dickhead.
- 这里面有好多东西 - 我知道 - There's a lot of stuff in here. - I know.
- 要去调查你老板了吗？ - 是啊，该去了 - Wanna go check out your boss now? - Yeah, I guess we should.
好吧，开始干吧 Okay, let's do it.
- 等等 - 你得小心行事了 - Hold on. - You gotta take care of that.
不 不！ No. No!
放开我！ Get off me!
- 不要打开车的人！ - 我需要你回来踩刹车 - You don't punch the driver! - I need you back here for the brakes.
该死，刹车 抱歉，伙计 Oh, shit, the brakes. I'm sorry, buddy.
抱歉 不要打开车的人，戴尔！ I'm sorry. Don't punch the driver, Dale!
很抱歉打你！抓住方向盘 I'm sorry I hit you! Get the wheel.
不要打开车的人！ You don't punch the driver!
不要打开车的人 You don't punch the fucking driver.
我已经神智不清了 I'm coked out of my fucking brain.
我想打谁就打谁 I'll punch whoever the fuck I want to.
我们上吧，太爽了 Let's do this, guys. Feeling good.
- 安静一点，安静一点 - 冷静点，戴尔 - Be very quiet out there. - Calm down, Dale.
你知道吗？ 先暂停一下 You know what? Hang on a second.
戴尔？ 等一下，我们刚刚这样做的时候，结果一团乱 Dale? Dude, hold it. Last time the three of us did this, it was very messy.
- 刚刚很棒，很刺激 - 明明就烂透了 - It was awesome, exciting. - It was clunky as hell.
我们这么办吧，如果哈肯不在家，那就我和库尔特进去 Here's what we'll do. In the event that Harken is not here, just me and Kurt go in.
你留在外面别进去，帮我们警戒 You'll stay out here, not go in, and be our lookout.
什么，你开什么玩笑？太棒了，我喜欢当警戒！ What? Are you kidding me? That's awesome. I love that. The lookout.
- 我不知道那家伙长什么子 - 无所谓 - I don't know what the guy looks like. - Doesn't matter.
你只要看到人，就当他是哈肯，然后给我们个暗号 You see anybody, just assume that it's Harken, send us a signal.
- 好吗？进去坐吧 - 好的 - Okay? Have a seat. - Okay.
好的，给你们暗 我会按喇叭6次 Okay. Send a sig... I'm gonna honk the horn six times.
- 去你的，不行 - 他刚刚说"6次"？ - Goddamn it. No. - Did he say "six"?
- 要那种不起眼的暗号 - 6次太多了 - Something much more subtle. - That's too many.
- 不起眼的？ 4次？ - 可以按1次就好吗？ - More subtle? Four honks? - Can you honk once?
- 你在说笑吗？ - 并没有 - Are you kidding? - Not at all.
一天到晚都有人按1声喇叭，这样你们会一直进进出出… People honk once all the time. You'll be in and out...
- 我们会知道是你按的 - 拜托好不好 - 戴尔，按2次 - We'll know it's you. - Come on, man. Dale, two honks.
那样会让你们无所适从，好啦，按2次 That kind of tone's gonna get you nowhere. All right, two honks.
- 就2次，要轻轻的按 - 好的 - Just two honks. A little tap, tap. - Okay.
按2声又长…又缓慢的喇叭 Two very long, very slow honks.
- 我要查一下这边的窗户 - 好 - I'm gonna check this window over here. - Okay.
- 这边没什么动静 - 好，我觉得里面应该没有人 - There's nothing on that side. - Yeah. I don't think there's anyone in there.
我想他一定是去出了 I think he's definitely out.
也许我们可以从楼上进去 Maybe we can find a way in upstairs.
是啊，也许他有窗户没关 Yeah, or maybe there's a window open.
或是更好的情况…. Or better yet ...
这样问题就简单多了对吧？ That makes things easier, huh?
我喜欢你的思考模式，闪开点 I like the way you think. Move.
- 不，不要！天啊！ - 哇，靠！ - No, don't do that. Hey! God! - Oh, shit.
我弄碎了一块石头 I broke a rock.
请你告诉我你知道这是用来放钥匙的 Please tell me you realize that was a key thingy.
是啊，是啊，是啊 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
你该不会是真的想往门上丢石头吧？ You weren't gonna throw a rock through the door?
不，当然不是，我是想把石头撬开 No, of course not. No, I wanted to open it.
我们就跟神偷一样 Like a real cat burglar.
侦察就好了，可以吗？ Just recon, now, okay?
你拿着，我不想要，两手空空比较好办事 Hey, take this. I don't want it. I want my hands free.
你弄破的 You broke it.
我觉得情报… I feel the intel...
- 我靠！- 没事，是一只猫 - God! - Okay, just a cat.
从哪冒出来的 Out of nowhere.
只是一只猫，没事，我们上楼看看，走吧 Just a cat. We're all right. Let's look upstairs. Come on.
# The call me hell
# They call me Stacey
# That's not my name That's not my name
# They call me hell
# They call me her
# They call me hell
# They call me Stacey
# That's not my name That's not my name
哇，去你妈的 Oh! Goddamn it.
老天，他到底有几只猫？ Jesus, how many oats do they have?
- 是同一只，我觉得 - 是吗？ - It's the same one, I think. Yeah. - Really?
很敏捷的小家伙，对吧？ Quick little bugger, huh?
- 靠，那是哈肯的老婆？ - 是啊，就是她 - Shit, is that Harken's wife? - Yeah, that's her.
- 天啊，她正点啊 - 没错，我们快点吧 - Oh, man, she is hot. - She sure is. Here we go.
我想把她屁股翘起来趴在桶子上，给她看美国50个州 I'd like to bend her over a barrel and show her the 50 states.
- 我不知道那是什么意思 - 喔，这是一句谚语 - I don't know what that means. - Ah, it's a saying.
- 我不这么认为 - 不，真的是，真的是，大家都这样说 - I don't think so. - No, it is, it is. Yeah. No, people say that.
- 我没听过 - 我一定有听别人这样讲过 - I haven't heard it. - I've definitely heard people say that.
我不想跟你辩，我们继续侦察吧 I'm not gonna argue. Let's continue the recon.
- 我确定这是一句成语 - 确定不是 - Well, it's definitely a phrase. - It sure isn't.
是，一定是，从一本书上来的，也许是"大亨小传"？ Yeah, it is. It's from a book. The Great Gatsby, maybe?
找看看有没有通讯簿或一日行程什么的，好吗？ Let's just look for an address book or a day planner or something. You know?
你知道吗？真可惜我们不是在找猫，这些人真他妈的爱猫 You know, it's too bad we're not looking for cats. These people fucking love cats.
嘿，你这白痴 Hey, schmuokface.
你要不要告诉我为何在街上乱丢垃圾？ You Wanna tell me what you're doing littering on my street?
我知道是怎么回事了，是风从我手上吹走的 I think what happened, ahem, was that the wind blew it out of my hand.
我不在乎风吹走了你什么 I don't care if the wind blew it out of your twat.
你马上把这台烂车开走，离开我家！ Why don't you take this piece-of-shit car and get off my fucking block?
我不知道你为何跟车过不去 I don't know why you're mad at the car.
我觉得我们不应该有敌意 I don't think we should get hostile now.
“敌意”？ 你想见识一下吗？ "Hostile"? You wanna see hostile?
要不要我回家拿我的… How about I go in my house and I get my...?
你在说…？你怎么了？ What are...? What's going on with you?
花生 Peanuts.
“弟弟”？ "Penis"?
喔，花生啊 Oh, peanuts.
那是花生酱三明治，你对花生过敏吗？ That was a peanut butter sandwich. Are you not good with peanuts?
你在指什么？怎么回事？ 这里有什么？ What are you pointing at? What's going on? What's here?
我拿到了，要怎么做？要怎么做？ Oh, I got it! What do I do? What do I do?
“检查针筒，充气，充…”等我一下，我阅读很慢 "Check the needle, pump back, pump..." Okay, hold on. I'm a slow reader.
“拉开气筒…” 好了，好了！ "Hold the pump... " Okay, okay!
要刺你胸部了，好吗？准备好了吗，老兄？ Jab it in your chest. Okay. I got you, dude. Ready?
觉得怎样，好点没？ How you feeling, you good?
好点了？ 有效吗？ 有效吗？ You good? Did I get you? Did I get you?
哇，老兄，快点过来 Whoa. Whoa. Dude, come here. Hurry.
过来看这个 Look at this.
- 那不是哈肯吗？ - 那是哈肯？ - 戴尔要杀了哈肯？ - Is that Harken? Dale's killing Harken? - That's Harken?
我要再刺你一次，可以吗？ I'm gonna hit you again, okay?
- 他在干什么？ - 他真的在杀人吗？ - What is he doing? - He's really doing it?
- 现在还在侦察期耶 - 糟糕了！ - This is the recon stage. - Holy shit.
我们得离开这里，快，该走了 天啊 We gotta get out of here. Come on, we gotta go. Oh, God.
我再加把劲 I'm pushing on it. Okay.
轻轻刺几下如何？ 轻轻刺？ What about little jabs? Little jabs?
要刺脖子吗？ Do I get your neck?
这样爽吗？ Was that good?
加油啊，老兄 Come on, man!
天啊 Oh, my God.
喂，喂！快过来！ Hey, hey! Come here!
怎么回事？ 你在做什么？发生什么事了？ What's going on? What are you doing? What's happened?
我想他没事，我用这个刺了他几针，你认识他吗？ I think he's okay! I hit him with this. Do you know him?
当然，他是我老公，亲爱的？亲爱的，你还好吗？ Of course, he's my husband. Sweetie? Honey? Sweetheart, are you okay?
- 他活过来了 - 你对我做了什么？ - There he is. Hey. - Ah. What did you do to me?
我用这东西救了你一命，真是不可思议 I saved you with your thingy. It was incredible.
我的天啊，亲爱的，他救了你一命 Oh, my God, sweetie. He saved your life.
你救了他一命 You saved his life.
好的，太酷了 Okay. That's cool.
- 你们抱在一起干嘛？ - 救了你一命 - What's with the hugging? - Saved your life!
亲爱的，我真是太感谢他在此了，你本来会死的 Oh, sweetie, I am just so grateful that he was here. You could have died.
- 我很确定你很感谢他在此 - 是的，没错 - I'm sure you are grateful he's here. - Yes, I am.
- 你认识他？ - 不，不认识 - You know this guy? - No, I don't.
你在跟他乱搞吗？你在干嘛，等着干我老婆吗？ Are you fucking this guy? What were you doing, waiting to fuck my wife?
老兄，我跟她才刚见面，要怎么搞她，这东西你还要吗？ Dude, I just met your wife. You want your thing back?
- 你最好快滚 - 没问题 - You better get out of here. - No problem.
戴维，戴维，你这是在… Dave. Dave, what are you...? Honey?
亲爱的，你应该感谢这个年轻人 Honey, you should be thanking this young man.
你为什么要疑神疑鬼的？ Why are you being so suspicious?
为什么？ 你知道我为什么会疑神疑鬼 Why? You know why I'm being suspicious.
因为我知道你背着我到处和别人睡 Because I know you sleep around on me.
那太荒谬了 That's ridiculous.
那你盯着马锐奥时的眼神呢？ What about the way you look at Maurilio?
你知道我们都会因为那个白痴而坐牢吗？ You realize We're all going to jail because of that idiot?
我不能去坐牢，看看我，我一定会被鸡奸到爆肛的 Man, I can't go to jail. Look at me. I'll get raped like crazy.
妈的，我也是 Fuck, me too.
是啊，一点没错 Yeah, totally.
我被鸡奸的次数会跟你一样多 I'd get raped just as much as you would, Kurt.
- 你觉得你比较秀色可餐吗？ - 我可没这么说 - Do you think you're more rape-able? - I'm not saying that.
- 你的意思就是这样了 - 哇，操！ - You're pretty close to saying... - Oh, fuck.
靠！你们刚刚有看到我做了什么吗？ Holy shit. Did you guys see me out there?
是的，我们看到了，戴尔 Yeah, we saw you, Dale.
是的，我们有看到 Shh. Yeah, we saw that.
很酷吧？ How cool was that?
一点…也不酷，我们来搜集信息… It wasn't cool at all. We come out to gather information...
结果你在大家面前想把哈肯刺死？ and you start stabbing Harken to death in front of the neighborhood?
- 那是哈肯？ - 不然你以为你在刺谁？ - Harken? - Who'd you think you were stabbing?
我没刺任何人 I wasn't stabbing anyone.
他对花生过敏，所以我救了他，你们了解我的意思吧？ He had an allergic reaction to some peanuts and I rescued him, know what I mean?
他过敏发作，然后我… He had a little allergy shot on him and I...
我是刺了他没错，但我只是想救他而己 I mean, I jabbed him with that, but I was just saving his life.
- 拯救一个男人的性命 - 等一下 - Saved a man's life. - Hang on a second.
也就是说，我老板 我们计划要杀掉的人 So my boss, who we're thinking about planning to kill...
快要死在你面前，结果你却救了他？ is dying in front of you and you saved his life?
你怎么讲的好像我做的是坏事一样？ Well, that sounds bad when you say it like that.
- 可以打开车门吗？ - 反正不是好事 - Can you open the door? - That's not cool.
- 但我不晓得他是哈肯 - 开门吧 - But I didn't know it was Harken. - Hit the button.
所以我才想知道他长什么样子 This is why I need to know what people look like.
我杀了他你不爽… You're mad at me for killing him ...
可以让他在外面待着吗？一下子就好 Can we give him a time-out? For one second.
你到底是想怎样啊，就好像… Make up your fucking mind. It's like...
现在是怎样？ What is this?
你得承认我们今晚还是有收获 You gotta admit we got some good intel tonight.
哈肯对花生过敏，佩里特持有大量的古柯碱 Harken is allergic to peanuts and Pellit's got a huge stash of cocaine.
你们觉得这样很好玩吗？ Are you playing this game?
所以我们要做的就是想办法把花生弄进哈肯家里 So all we gotta do is figure a way to get peanuts somewhere into Harken's house...
然后在佩里特的古柯碱里放些毒药 and put some poison in Pellit's coke.
这样大家就会觉得佩里特是买到了质量不好的古柯碱 It's easy for someone to think Pellit got a bad batch of cocaine.
你们真的要像8年级时一样把我锁在车外吗？ You seriously locking me out of the car like we're in 8th grade?
那哈肯呢？他大概随身携带那个注射用的药 What about Harken? Probably always got that injector thing.
洗澡时就不会了 Doesn't shower with it.
那就在他的洗发精里放一些花生 So then we'll put some peanuts inside his shampoo.
两件致命的意外，我们都不在现场 A couple of fatal accidents we're not even there for.
- 干你妈的琼斯会以为们为荣 - 是啊，没错 - Motherfucker Jones would be so proud. - Yeah, he would.
- 不是小学生了 - 那这个白痴的老板要怎么办？ - Getting old. - What do you do about dummy's boss?
我明天去盯她，找出她的弱点 I'll stake her out tomorrow and get to the bottom of it.
- 人的忍耐是有限度的 - 车子被打凹了 - A man has his limits. - That left a fucking dent.
载他回家吧 Get him fucking home.
很好笑，真的很好笑！ Very funny. That was very funny, guys.
我们想要搞清楚一件事，你可以帮我们 We have one thing to figure out, if you can help us.
如果尼克和我去坐牢，你认为谁会比较常被鸡奸？ If Nick and I were in prison, who do you think would get raped more?
尼克 Nick.
真的吗？为什么？ Really? Why?
因为这种事是跟强弱有关，不是长相 It's about weakness and vulnerability- It's not a looks thing.
没错，应该是尼克 It probably would be Nick.
- 把车门锁上 - 简直胡扯 Getting locked out of the car is bullshit, man.
太便宜了吧 That's an awesome deal.
天啊，戴尔，我们是要搞谋杀，不是开鸡尾酒舞会 Jesus, Dale- It's a murder, not a cocktail party...
我知道，你不需要向全世界广播 I know. You don't have to announce that to the world.
花生卖的很便宜，我才不会错失省钱的机会 There was a great deal on nuts. I'm not gonna pass up on savings.
好了，就这样 Okay, so this is it.
我负责佩里特，你负责哈肯 I'm doing Pellit, you're gonna do Harken,
你去摸清茱莉亚的弱点，对吧？ and you'll get some intel from Julia, right?
- 收到 - 好，那我们另一个世界再见吧 - Copy that. - Okay. See you on the other side.
好了 Okay.
- 谢谢你 - 不客气 - Thank you, Kimmy. - You're welcome.
太棒了 That was great.
- 下次再见 - 好 - See you next time. - Yeah.
- 谢谢你，比尔 - 谢谢你，巴比 - Thank you, Bill. - Thank you, Bobby.
虾米？ What?
靠 Shit.
你那边情况如何？ - Hey. - How's it going over there?
- 茱莉亚那边有什么发现？ - 我发现我该换个牙医了 - What do you know about Julia? - I learned I gotta switch dentists...
这女人真是正的不可思议 because this woman is unbelievably hot.
- 你那边怎样了？ - 呃，就… - How's it going over there? - Uh, it's...
就是…我在等佩里特去睡觉，或是出门，或是… Just I'm waiting for, you know, Pellit to sleep or leave or ...
反正就是等就对了 Just... Just waiting.
不知道戴尔在哈肯那边如何了 Wonder what, uh, Dale's doing with Harken.
那是真的很困难 It's gonna be really hard.
并且必须天天干活 And well have to work at this every day,
但我愿意去做是因为我想要你 but I wanna do that because I want you.
我要永远拥有你，你和我，在一起… I want all of you forever, you and me, every day...
每个人都是功夫高手 Everybody was kung-fu fighting
给我 Give me that.
快给我 Give it to me.
天啊，这家伙哪来那么旺盛的体力？ Jesus. Where does this guy get the energy?
那是什么鬼东西？ What the fuck was that?
好了，好了 Okay. Okay.
- 什么事，戴尔？ - 我觉得我办不到 - Yeah, Dale? - I don't think I can do this.
听着，我知道你真的很赌烂哈肯，但是… Look, I know you really hate Harken but...
我觉得我办不到 I don't think I can go through with it.
是啊，是啊，是啊 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
我知道，我也跟你一样的想法 I know. I've been thinking the same thing.
- 是啊，我们取消行动吧 - 我靠！ - Yeah, let's just call it off - What the fuck?
- 怎了？ - 是哈肯，他在这里 - What? - It's Harken. He's here.
他在佩里特家？为什么？ He's at Pellit's? Why?
我不知道，他正朝着前门走去 I don't know. He's walking right up to the front door.
- 你觉得我们被他看穿了吗？ - 我怎么会知道？ - You think he's onto us? - How the fuck do I know?
你可以再敲大声一点 Knock a little louder?
干嘛？什么？ What? What?
天啊，天啊，哈肯刚刚开枪打了佩里特 Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ, Harken just shot Pellit.
你确定吗？ Are you sure?
我靠，佩里特开了门，哈肯朝他胸部开了一枪 Holy shit. Pellit opened up the door, Harken shot him in the chest...
他倒地，他又朝他头部开一枪 he fell down, he shot him again in the head.
他开枪打他？ 等一下，这是怎么回事？ He shot him? Wait, what's going on?
我不明白，他开枪打他？ I don't understand. He shot him?
尼克？ 说话啊，尼克，尼克 Nick? Say something. Nick, say something.
尼克！尼克，尼克，快说话，尼克，发生什么事了？ Nick! Nick, Nick, talk to me. Nick, what's happening?
佩里特怎么了？ What's going on?
- 佩里特现在怎样？ - 他死透了，戴尔 - How's Pellit doing? - Still pretty fucking dead, Dale.
我得在被别人看见时闪人 I gotta get out of here before somebody sees me.
到酒吧跟我会合，我会打给库尔特 Meet me at the bar. I'll call Kurt.
好，我们在那里会合 Yeah. I'll meet you there.
我可能会先在马桶里吐个几次，然后再去跟你们会合 I might throw up a couple times in the toilet here, but then I'll meet you there.
哦，死丰田 Oh, Toyota.
保持冷静，我们会搞清楚怎么回事 Stay calm. We'll figure this out.
"冷静"？1小时前我看到有人被杀 "Calm"? I saw a guy get shot an hour ago.
- 我知道，反正你也是要杀他 - 这我可不敢肯定 - I know. A guy you were gonna kill anyway. - Listen, I don't know about that.
- 什么叫不敢肯定？ - 不知道我是不是下的了手 - What? - Don't Know if I had it in me.
我也是，我吓坏了，慌了，所以我闪人了 I freaked out and panicked, got out of there.
开什么玩笑？你们不能就这样改变计划 Are you kidding? You can't change a plan like this...
我不是杀人凶手 I'm not a murderer.
你觉得一但机会来了，你就会杀了茱莉亚？ You think when it came down to it, you'd be able to kill Julia?
我不晓得，也许你是对的，我现在很难想象要杀了她 I don't know. Maybe you're right. It is a little hard to imagine killing her now.
- "现在"？ - 等一下，你这话什么意思？ - "Now"? - Wait, what does that mean?
- 你跟她打炮了吗？ - 没有，没有 - Did you sleep with her? - No, no.
- 告诉我你没跟她打炮 - 你真是个龌龊的人 - Tell me you didn't sleep with her. - You're a mess.
我知道，不过这次真的不是我的错，我对天发誓 But this time it wasn't my fault, I swear to God.
如果你现在杀了她，就会成了头号嫌犯 You will be a suspect if you try and kill her now.
一开始我也是照你们要求我的一样监视她 At first I was surveilling her, like I was asked to do.
对了，她真是正的不可思议，超正点 She's incredibly hot, by the way. So hot.
别要跟我讨论她有多正点，王八蛋 Don't talk about how hot she is, bastard.
接下来她开始蓄意地脱衣服 Next thing, she starts deliberately undressing.
少来了 Come on.
就在窗前，灯还是亮的 In front of her window with the lights on.
- 好像她知道我在看似的 - 什么叫"蓄意地脱衣服"？ - Like she knew I was watching. - "Deliberately undressed"?
慢慢地…诱惑的，肩膀还带动作 Slowly, seductively, lot of shoulder moves...
很明显的在上演脱衣秀 is clearly putting on a show.
- 接下来她给自己做了一些甜点 - 她胸部好看吗？ - Next she makes herself a little snack. - She have a nice chest?
先是棒冰 A Popsicle.
- 然后是香蕉 - 拜托 - Then a banana. - Come on.
- 最后是一根热狗，拜托 - 我现在不相信你的鬼话了 - And finally, a hot dog. I mean, come on. - Now I don't believe your story.
三种阴茎形状的食物，这应该不是巧合，对吧？ Three penis-shaped foods, that can't be a coincidence, right?
还用那种奇怪的顺序？没人这样吃的吧 Eating them in that weird order? Not a proper meal.
冷食到热食 It's cold to hot.
好，所以你把阴茎形状的食物当成是邀请卡去干她 Fine. So you took the penis foods as an invitation to fuck her.
不，天啊，我把干她的邀请卡当成是邀请卡来干她了 No, no. God, no. I took her invitation to fuck her as an invitation to fuck her.
她色诱我进去，就好像我也是她的点心 She lured me in. lt was like one of these things.
- 你真是有病 - 你是妓女 - Something clinically wrong with you. - You're a whore.
拜托，别这样讲我，好吗？听着，你的问题解决了 - Come on. That's not nice, okay? - Look, your problem 's solved.
她不会再跟你乱搞了 She won't mess with you anymore.
可以回到正题吗？我们要讨论一下佩里特今晚的事 Can we move on? Let's talk about what happened to Pellit.
对吼，我想一下，好 我想到了，我有个点子 All right, okay. Let me think. Okay, here's what I'm thinking. Here's my idea.
我们昵名报警提供线索，好吗？ We call the cops with an anonymous tip. All right?
告诉他们哈肯杀了佩里特，碰！ We tell them Harken killed Pellit. Boom.
哈肯就会去坐牢，佩里特下了地狱 Harken's in jail, Pellit's in hell,
茱莉亚也不会再跟他乱搞… Julia's had the crazy fucked out of her...
然后我们3人的问题就解决了 and all three of us have our problems solved.
也许可行，昵名线索，还不坏 It could work. An anonymous tip, that's not bad.
但是要用公用电话，这样才不会追踪到我们 Gotta be from a pay phone, though, so it's not traced back to us.
- 没错 - 好，我去开车，就这么干 - Exactly. - Good. Let's take my car. Let's do it.
好了，我们要上哪找公用电话？ All right. Where do you even find a pay phone these days?
公车站那里有我确定 There's a ton at the bus station for sure.
好，那个地点可能不错，或是购物中心 Oh, yeah, I guess that's a good point. Maybe the mall.
那是什么？ What is this?
- 那是要干嘛？ - 是找我们的吗？ - What is this? - Is that for us?
- 什么？ - 糟了 - What? - Oh, shit.
车窗全开 All the way down.
开好了 Right there.
- 这辆车是你的吗？ - 是我的，没错 - Are you the owner of this vehicle? - I own it. Yup.
据报有一台灰色Prius，车号2WAQ233 We got an APB on a gray Toyota Prius, license 2-Whiskey-Alpha-Quincy-2-3-3.
- 怎么了吗？ - 等一下，老兄 - How come? - Hang on, man.
- 我有跟你说话吗？ - 没 - Did I talk to you? - No.
就是这台车，有什么需要帮忙的吗 That's this car. Tell me how I can help.
今晚有摄影机拍到这台车逃离犯罪现场 A traffic cam caught this car fleeing the scene of a crime tonight.
- 你知道这件事吗？ - 我不知道它为何这么做 - Would you know anything about that? - I don't know why it would do that.
我是说，我不知道发生什么事了 I mean, I don't know. What happened?
- 你有喝酒吗？ - 没有 - Have you been drinking? - No.
我闻到酒味 I smell alcohol.
- 他和后面那家伙 - 就是我 - This guy and the mouth in the back. - That's me.
我要你们跟到警局一趟 I'm gonna need you to follow us to the station.
警官 Officer.
好兄弟 My man.
真不敢相信我让你说服我干这件事，真是不敢相信 I cannot believe I let you talk me into this whole thing. I cannot believe it.
你在说笑吗？我们原本只是随便说说 Are you kidding me? We were being hypothetical.
- 随便说说？ - 是你把我们搅合进来的 - Being hypothetical? - You're the one that pushed us into it.
好了，别叫了 Well, don't bark.
- 我们要死了，对不？ - 为什么？ - You know we're dead, right? - Why?
因为他们知道所有事情 警察很聪明 Because they know everything. Cops are smart.
你意识到我们甚至没提及哈肯吗？ You realize we can't even mention Harken now?
- 是的，我知道 - 该死，伙计 - Yeah, I know. - Shit, dude.
- 等等，为什么？ - 应该是匿名的 - Wait, why? - It was supposed to be an anonymous tip.
- 那又怎样？ - 拜托，伙计 - Yeah, so? - Come on, man.
我是应该告诉他们我认识哈肯的唯一原因是… Should I just tell them the only reason I know about Harken is...
那我是应该告诉他们我认识哈肯的唯一原因是… So should I just say that the only reason I know about Harken...
就是因为我把车停在了你死去的老板的房子前面吗？ is because I was parked in front of your dead boss's house?
你就在犯罪现场 这事儿很严重了 You were at the scene of the crime. It was bad then.
你像是从犯罪现场逃逸 You kind of fled the scene of a crime.
那实际上就是犯罪的行为 That's actually a crime in and of itself.
真不应该那样做 我可是没干过任何事情的 Shouldn't have done that. I'm the one that hasn't done anything.
- 你闯入了两家民宅 - 那你就是闯入了一家 - You broke into two people's houses. - So you broke into a house.
我是在你闯入之后跟着你进去的 I followed you into a house after you broke into it.
- 你偷了一部黑莓手机 - 你偷吸可卡因 - You stole a blackberry. - You did cocaine.
我是意外吸入了一些可卡因 I accidentally inhaled some cocaine.
你要准备怎样，供出我吗？ What are you gonna do, rat me out?
也许我应该供出你 你觉得呢？ Maybe I will rat you out. What do you think?
- 你也要供出我吗？ - 我可以的 - You gonna rat me out too? - I could.
你偷了黑莓手机 你逃离犯罪现场 你强奸了我的老板 You stole a blackberry. You fled a crime. You raped my boss.
- 我没有强奸他 - 我要过去踢你的屁股！ - I did not rape her. - I'll climb over and kick your ass!
- 想见识一下么？ - 先生们 先生们！ - Wanna see what happens? - Hey! Gentlemen. Gentlemen!
- 这边走吧 - 是的，我们开始了 来吧 - Right this way. - Yeah, let's do it. Come on.
我们去那儿 走吧 开始了 Let's go in there. Let's go. Let's do it.
你可以解释为何限速25你却飙到61 Do you wanna explain why you were doing 61 in a 25 zone...
距离受害者的家只有一个街区 one block from the victim's house...
而且就在他被枪杀之后吗？ just moments after he got shot dead?
我在赛车 I was drag racing.
- 我是个赛车手 - 你在赛车？ - I'm a drag racer. - You were drag racing?
开普锐斯车？ In a Prius?
所以我老是输 I don't win a lot.
有一件事我不明白 Here's what I don't understand.
你当时在犯罪现场 You were at the crime scene.
1小时后我们找到了车子 Hour later we find the car.
你刚好和这个混蛋在一起 You happened to be hanging with this freaky motherfucker.
- 一个登记在案的性犯罪者 - 那是在一个无人的游乐场 - A registered sex offender. - It was an empty playground.
而这个人刚好在佩里特化学公司工作，受害者的公司 And this guy. Who happens to be working for Pellit Chemicals, the victim's company.
什么？ What?
我老板被谋杀了？ My boss was murdered?
哇，你在他家做什么，尼克？你为什么在那里？ Oh, wow. What were you doing at his house, Nick? Why were you there?
谋杀案发生期间你在哪里？ Where were you during the murder?
我在做爱，我在和一个女人做爱 I was making love. I was making love to a woman.
没错，我不可能犯案 Yeah. Murdering some ass.
- 警探… - 不，呃…我有一个问题 - Detectives ... - No, uh, I have a question.
如果我们有人知道 谁是凶手 If one of us knew, you know, who the shooter was...
而他也愿意把凶手的名字双手奉上… and he was willing to serve you that perp on a platter...
那他就有免于刑责的权利，对吗？ he would be entitled to some sort of immunity, right?
不，他会去坐个几天牢 No. He would be entitled to some jail time.
如果知情不报 If he knew who the shooter was and didn't tell us...
那就构成了妨碍调查 that would be obstruction of justice.
真高兴我们都不知道谁是凶手 Glad none of us know who the shooter is.
听着，如果你们认为我们会相信 Listen, if you think we're gonna believe
这一切都只是天大的巧合… that this is all just a big coincidence...
那我们在这里就有得耗了 we're gonna be here for a long time.
好的，等一下 根据你说的“我们在这里就有得耗了”… Okay, wait. By saying "we're gonna be here for a long time"...
你在暗示我们不准离开… you're implying that we're not allowed to leave...
也就是说这只有在我们被逮捕的情况下才会发生 which would only be the case if we were under arrest.
我们被逮捕了吗？ Are we under arrest?
不，我们只是带你们来问话 No. We just brought you in for questioning.
那么，根据现在的情况… Well, then, ipso facto...
你们没有足够的证据 you don't have sufficient evidence...
可以构成申请拘捕令的理由 constituting probable cause for an arrest warrant.
是的 Not yet.
那么，呃 根据宪法第4修正条文 Well, uh, then, pursuant to the Fourth Amendment...
我们可以走了，对吧？ I believe we are free to go. Are we not?
是的，照法律层面来说，是的 Yeah, technically. Yeah.
这样就够了 Technically is good enough for me.
各位，我们自由了 Gentlemen, ahem, we are free men.
我们走吧 Let's go.
我们得回你车上，继续走 We gotta get back to your car. Keep moving.
我们要搭出租车？ 坐地铁？你要选哪个？ We get a cab? Take the train? What do you wanna do?
你几时看过我们城里有地铁？ You ever been on a subway in this town?
不错嘛，从哪学来的？ Pretty great. Where'd that come from?
《法网豪情》，好吗？你可以从那里学到一些东西 Law & Order, okay? You can learn stuff watching Law & Order.
- 我们让他们见识到了对吧？ - 的确是 - We showed them, huh? - We did show them.
你差点害我们坐牢 You were about to turn us in.
刚刚是有讨论到一些关于互相告密的事… There was a few conversations about ratting each other out...
不过那不会有事的 but it was gonna be fine.
且慢 Hold on.
这是给你的，赛车手，超速和闯红灯 That's for you, hotshot. Speeding and running a red light.
你们不会逍遥太久的 You boys don't get too comfortable out there.
我们的鉴识小组正在佩里特家采集DNA和指纹 Our forensics team is sweeping the Pellit house right now for DNA and fingerprints.
告诉你们吧，他们不会错失任何线索 And I'll tell you something. They don't miss shit.
我刷我刷我刷屁眼 In the butt you go, go, go.
你干嘛把他浴室的东西都塞进你屁股里？ Why would you put his whole bathroom in your ass?!
- 我不知道屁股里也有DNA - 唬烂，你知道屁股里有DNA - I didn't I know I had DNA in my butt. - Lying! You know there's DNA in your butt.
你只是喜欢往屁股里塞东西，你这个变态！ You just like shoving shit in your ass, you fucking pervert!
我们得请一个律师了，就这么办 We are lawyering up, men. That's it.
我没有钱请律师 I don't have money for a lawyer.
我买了一个我付担不起的昂贵戒指… I bought a very expensive ring I can't afford...
然后我干你妈的把剩下的钱都给了干你妈的琼斯 then I gave the rest of my motherfucking money to Motherfucker Jones.
我们应该去找他谈 That's who we should talk to.
他一直罩着我们，对吧？5000块？ He's covered us this far, right? Five grand?
5000零40，要加上公文包 Five thousand forty with the briefcase.
- 闭上你的鸟嘴！ - 别提那个公文包 - Shut up about that! - Shut up about the briefcase.
借过一下，借过一下 Excuse me. Excuse me.
- 你好啊，干你妈的 - 嘿，看是谁来了，看是谁来了 - Hello, Motherfucker. - Hey, look who's back. Look who's back.
"火车怪客"里的那招干的如何了？ Whatever happened to that, uh, Strangers on a Train shit?
没屁用，我们需要你的帮助 Didn't work out. We need your help.
我们其中一个人的老板，杀了另一个人的老板 One of our intended victims killed the other intended victim.
- 不会吧 - 情况就变糟了 - Shut the fuck up. - It's gone bad.
你们真是他妈的天才 You guys are some fucking evil geniuses.
谢谢，但是我们与此事无关，不晓得为何会这样 Thank you, but we had nothing to do with it. We don't know why it happened.
警方把我们当成嫌犯 The cops bring us in as suspects.
库尔特的DNA到处都是，因为他把牙刷塞进他的屁股里 Kurt's DNA's all over the apartment because he shoved a toothbrush up his ass.
- 那不是重点 - 我正要告诉他事情的来龙去脉 - That's not the point. - I'm giving him the whole story.
我懂了，重要的事情先做，我们要先谈生意 I got you. First thing first, we gotta handle business.
- 我要5000 - 不会再给你钱了 - I need $5000. - There's gonna be no more money.
- 2000？ - 没得商量 - Two thousand? - Absolutely not.
不行，干你妈的，不行 No way, Motherfucker. No.
好吧，酒钱你们出 All right, look, pay for my drinks.
- 帮他付酒钱 - 交给我 - Pay for his drink. - I'll do that.
真不会谈判 Not a very good negotiator.
那个杀了人的家伙，警方有在找他吗？ The guy that killed the other guy, are the cops after him?
不，不，他还不是嫌犯 No, no, they don't suspect him.
那接下来你们应该要这样做 Then this is what you need to do:
身上戴着录音机，要他坦承谋杀 Get him to confess to the murder while you're wearing a wire.
录音机？ 这我们办的到，简单 A wire? We can do that. That's easy.
你之前杀人时就是这样被抓到的吗？ That how they got you when you murdered somebody?
- 我一个人也没杀过 - 你说啥？ - I ain't never murder nobody. - I'm sorry?
我没杀过人 I never murdered anybody.
等一下，你说过你犯了恶劣的罪行，坐了10年牢 Wait, no. You said you did a dime for some pretty nasty shit.
的确是很恶劣，但这样就代表我杀过人吗？ It was some nasty shit, but does that mean I murdered somebody?
你暗示有 You implied it.
你没杀过人，不然你是做了什么？ You didn't murder someone, what'd you do?
好吧，听好了，靠过来点 All right, listen, get in here.
你们有看过《爱在冰雪纷飞时》这部电影吗？ You guys ever see the movie Snow Falling on Cedars?
没有 No.
- 没看过 - 我爱那部电影 - Never seen that. - I love that movie.
事情就是我带了摄影机去电影院偷拍 What happened was is that I took a video camera into the movie and I bootleg it.
他们就在出口等我，把我抓个正着 They was waiting right outside the exit. They got me.
你卖了10年的盗版电影？ - You did 10 years for video piracy? - Yeah.
- 他们把这件事看的很严重 - 没那么严重 - They take that shit so serious, man. - Not that seriously.
我们请了杀人顾问… We've been taking murder advice...
此人最大的罪行就是偷拍了一部伊森·霍克的电影 from some guy whose biggest crime is taping an Ethan Hawke movie.
- 所以你知道这部电影 - 我知道是谁演的 - So you do know the movie. - I know who's in it.
大家都知道这部电影 Everyone knows the movie.
那不是重点 That's not the point.
你骗我们，干你妈… You tricked us, Motherfuck...
等一下，事情的结果并不是很好，对吧？ Hang on a second, something doesn't stack up quite right with this, all right?
你说你自己是卖盗版电影的，是吗？盗拷了大量的影带？ So you just call yourself a video pirate, right? Pirating the high seas of videocy?
那你身上为什么带枪，盗版电影先生？ Why do you Carly a gun on you, Mr. Video Pirate?
- 枪？ - 是啊 - A gun? - Yeah.
- 我并不想看 - 是我的手机 - I don't wanna see it. - It's my cell phone.
- 这是德制手机，我要回车上了 - 我靠！ - It's a Sidekick. I'm gonna be in the car. - Oh, shit.
你拿手机像在拔枪一样，混淆了大家 You grab at it like a gun and you confuse people.
妈的，我觉得我像个白痴 Goddamn it, I feel like a moron.
- 我们走吧 - 你的确是白痴 - Let's go. - You are a moron.
听着，你不能随便在酒吧给别人5000块就只因为他是黑人 Look, you don't go into a bar and hand a guy $5000 just because he black.
- 这不是肤色的问题 - 快点，我们走吧 - It was never a black-white thing. - No, come on.
我们走吧，戴尔 Let's go. Come on. Dale.
你们全都疯了 Y'all motherfuckers crazy.
好 Okay.
看起来没啥动静，是吧？ Looks pretty quiet, yeah?
的确是 好的，录音机已经备妥了 Yeah, it does. Okay, tape recorder's ready to roll,
我买了几颗新的电池 I got some fresh batteries in here.
这样花了我很多钱，所以我认为应该由我来负责录音 It was a pretty big investment so I should be the one who does the tape-recording.
- 才怪，交给我吧 - 要交给你吗？ - No way. No, I'll do it. - You're gonna do it?
你必须要把线穿过衣服贴在胸部上 You'll have to duct-tape that to your chest.
不能贴在我胸部，我有胸毛 I can't tape this to my chest. I have hair on chest.
放在口袋里吧，干嘛要贴在胸部上 Just put it in your pocket. Not gonna tape it to his chest.
那我们要怎么做？ 等他回到家 So, what do we do? Wait for him to come home,
然后拿张办公椅什么的吗？ we grab a office chair or something?
我们1个人拿张办公椅坐，转个圈后直接面对他 One of us gets in the chair, spins around and dramatically confronts him.
- 我来坐椅子 - 尼克坐椅子 - I'm in the chair. - Nick's in the chair.
- 为什么是你坐椅子？ - 他是我老板 - Why are you in the chair? - He's my boss.
也许我们应该要拿3张椅子，同时坐上去转一圈 Maybe we should get three chairs and all spin around at the same time.
就这样面对他 Confront him like that.
那样就不吓人了，像在演音乐剧 That's not intimidating, that's like a musical number.
小心那只猫 Watch out for the cat.
惊喜！ Surprise!
没事，错误警报，重来，重来，重来 Okay. It's a false alarm- Just mingle, mingle, mingle...
你好，你们是谁？ Hi. Who are you?
进来，把门关好，快点 Come inside. Close that door. Hurry.
喔，好，等一下 Um, okay. Now, wait a minute.
你是前晚在街上救了戴维的那个年轻人 You're the young man who helped Dave out on the street the other night.
- 是的，就是他 - 是的，那就是我 - That's him. - Yeah, that's who I am.
- 他如何了？ - 他很好，谢谢你，谢谢 - How is he? - He is great, thanks to you. Thank you.
- 我有邀请你们吗？ - 你有或没有… - Did I invite you? - You did and you didn't.
我是你丈夫的同事，我们迟到了，我叫尼克 I work with your husband. We're late.
- 这两个是跟屁的 - 他人在车库 - These are my plus-twos. - He's in the garage.
我们应该藏起来，大家快进来 Oh, we should hide. Everybody, come on in.
- 谁去把灯关了 - 蹲下，蹲下，蹲下 - Someone get the lights. - Get down, get down, get down.
对了，我是库尔特，刚刚在门口没机会自我介绍 I'm Kurt, by the way. I didn't get a chance to introduce myself at the door.
- 喔，朗达，你好 - 你好，朗达，很高兴认识你 - Oh, hey, Rhonda. Hi. Hi. - Hi, Rhonda. Very nice to meet you.
尼克没有告诉我说他老板娶了个模特儿 Nick didn't tell me his boss was married to a model.
哈哈哈，我不是模特儿 Ha, ha. Yeah, not a model.
你何时辞职的？ When did you quit?
惊喜！ Surprise!
我靠！天啊，我讨厌这样 Goddamn it! God, I hate that!
我们整到你了，对吧亲爱的？ We got you, huh, honey?
- 所以你有吓到啰？ - 是啊 - So you were surprised? - Yeah.
你看，大家都在这 Look, sweetie, everybody's here.
我去放一下东西 I'm gonna put my stuff down.
她明知我讨厌这样 She knows I hate surprises.
我想我们整到他了，哈哈，让他吓到挫赛 I think we got him. Ha, ha. We got him good.
好 Okay.
他现在是一个人独处了，我们的机会来了 He's gone off on his own. This is our chance.
- 准备好了吗？ - 是的，准备好了 - You guys ready? - Yeah, very ready.
跟紧一点，好吗？ - Stay close, okay? Mm-hm.
我们上吧，我们上吧 Let's do it. Let's do it.
哈肯 Harken.
不敢相信我老婆邀请了你 I cannot believe my wife invited you.
你在这里干什么？想来多戳我几下吗？ What are you doing here? Come to stab me a few more times?
- 我们知道你干了什么事 - 喔，此话怎讲？ - We know what you did. - Well, what does that mean?
我们当时在场，看到你杀了他 We were there. We saw you kill him.
是吗？ Really?
那么，现在是怎样？勒索吗？ So, what is this, then? Your little Shakedown?
你以为你可以勒索我 You think that you can blackmail me...
因为你看见我杀死我老婆的小三？ because you saw me kill my wife's lover?
说出他的名字 Say his name!
什么？ What?
你杀的那个 人，快说他的名字 The man you killed, you say his name.
佩里特？ 相信我，佩里特这个名字已经没什么意义 Pellit? Trust me, Pellit's name means nothing anymore.
这就对了，谢谢，我们走吧 There it is. Thank you. Let's do it, guys.
- 是的，没有错 - 等一下，库尔特人呢？？ - Yeah, that's right. - Hang on. Where the fuck is Kurt?
我杀了佩里特 I killed Pellit.
等一下再说，我朋友库尔特不见了 Hold that thought, I'm missing my friend Kurt.
我走到他家门口，拔枪朝他胸口开了一枪 I walked right up to his door, I put a gun in his chest and I shot him.
然后你知道吗？你知道接下来如何吗？我又补了他一枪 Then you know what? You know what I did after that? I shot him again.
告诉你吧 And let me tell you something.
我喜欢这样 I liked it.
所以如果你们以为我是小孬孬 So if you think that I'm some sort of pussy...
不敢对你们这两个勒索的混蛋做出同样的事 who won't do exactly the same thing to a couple of lame-assed blackmailers...
那你们就错了 think again.
你知道谁认为你是小孬孬吗？我朋友库尔特，我去找他来 Know who thinks you're a pussy? My friend Kurt. Let me grab him.
你真的很令人讨厌，尼克 You are pathetic, Hendricks.
你在我生日这天走进我家，然后干了这种事 You walk into my house on my goddamn birthday and pull this shit.
我告诉你吧 Well, let me tell you something.
你死定了 You're dead.
你，还有你 You and you.
- 还有… - 库尔特 - And...'? - Kurt.
库尔特，死…人… Kurt. Dead men.
我不知道今天是你生日，他在干嘛？ - I didn't know it was your birthday. - What's he doing?
- 你在找什么？ - 找我的枪，给我1秒就好了 - What do you got? - Getting my gun. Only take a second.
- 我去开车 - 我也要闪 - I'll get the car. - I'll go.
我们成功了，他已经全盘托出，库尔特到底怎么了？ We had him, we had the whole goddamn thing. What the fuck happened to Kurt?
- 嘿！ - 你们在这里 - Hey! - There you are.
你去哪了？ Where were you?
我…呃…胃不舒服，必须去上厕所 My, uh, stomach was bothering me. Had to use the bathroom.
- 他全招了，现在要拿枪对付我们 - 去你妈的，库尔特 He confessed everything, now he's getting his gun.
你们在里面干嘛？ - Kurt, what happened there? - Oh, uh...
她带我参观她的嘴巴…房子！ she was giving me a tour of the mouth... House.
- 靠！你干嘛…？ - 快上车，快点！ - Ow! What are you... '? - Get in the car. Right now.
别这样，拜托 - Knock it off. - Come on.
听着，我精虫冲脑了，好吗？很抱歉 Look, I wasn't thinking, okay? I'm sorry.
她太正了，我太软弱，我是一个软弱的人，好吗？ She-'s just very hot. And I'm weak. I'm a weak, weak man, okay?
我承认 I admit it.
- 快倒车，快倒车 - 糟了，糟了 - Back it up, back it up. - Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
- 他们找到我的DNA了 - 快倒车 - They found my DNA. - Back it up.
快回头，快回头，他们发现沾了大便的牙刷 Go backwards. Go backwards. See? They found your poop brush.
你对你的屁眼感到着迷！ You are obsessed with your asshole!
不，我没有 那是恶作剧，戴尔 No, I'm not. It was a prank, Dale.
闭嘴，我们应该先讨论要怎么逃命 Shut it down. Let's start talking about where we're gonna live.
- 现在情况很不妙 - 到处都是警察 - The current situation Won't work. - There'll be cops everywhere.
你是说逃亡到别国吗？ You talking about fleeing?
没错，我在想是要去加拿大还是墨西哥 Damn right. I'm talking about Canada or Mexico.
我不能住墨西哥，那里的食物我难以下咽 I can't live in Mexico. I mean, I can't handle the food.
我会消化不良，可能会死 My digestion alone... I'll probably die.
- 你宁愿下辈子待在监狱吗？ - 闭上你们的鸟嘴！ - You'd rather be in jail the rest of your life? - Shut the fuck up.
我要接一下电话，我要接电话，喂？ I'm getting a call. I gotta get this. Hello?
你好啊，爱人 Hello, lover.
听着，茱莉亚，我现在不方便讲话 Uh, look, Julia, now's not a good time to talk.
- 当我不在 - 那没关系 - Hey, I'm not here. - That's okay.
我其实是想打去你家 I actually meant to call your home phone.
你知道，告诉史黛西我们的事 You know, tell Stacy about us.
- 不不不，别这样，等一下 - 我们要学十进制制 - No, don't do that. Wait. Wait. - We'll learn the metric system.
我们会买外套和毛衣，学打曲棍球或其他狗屁的事 We gotta buy coats and sweaters and learn hockey and all that shit.
不，我觉得你让我等太久了，戴尔 No, I think I've waited long enough, Dale.
我已经受够了你玩弄我的感情 I'm sort of tired of you toying with my emotions.
我不是在跟你玩 I'm not playing with you.
我没有玩弄你，让我补偿你，让我补赏你 I'm not toying with you. I'm gonna take care of it. I'm gonna take care of it.
等一下，等一下，你要补偿我什么？ Wait, wait, wait. What are you gonna do to me?
- 我会和你做爱 - 什么？ - I'm gonna have sex with you. - What?
我要你跟我讲细节，小孬孬 I want you to give me details, you pussy.
要讲清楚一点 And please be explicit.
细节？我现在和别人在车上 Details? I'm in a car with people.
现在不方便谈细节 Now is not a good time for details.
- 我才不管你方不方便 - 好啦 - I don't care if it's not a great time. - Okay, fine.
我会让你很爽，了解吗？ I'm gonna make you feel good. You know?
用我的手指和舌头什么的 With my fingers and my tongue and whatnot.
我知道你可以做的不只那样 I know you can do better than that.
好啦，我会把我的老二塞进你的阴道里，茱莉亚 All right, I'm gonna put my penis in your pussy, Julia.
噢，那样说会让我硬起来的 Oh, boy, that's gonna get me done.
那是什么东西？ What the fuck was that?
- 怎么回事？ - 那是哈肯，甩掉他 - What the fuck? - That's Harken. Lose him.
- 我的天啊！ - 快离开这里 - Oh, my God! - Get out of here.
小心点 Look, careful.
你会用你的老二赏我耳光吗，戴尔？ Hey, are you gonna slap me in the face with your cock, Dale?
没问题，我会用我的老二赏你耳光 Yes, I'll slap you in the face with my cock!
- 这家伙疯了 - 用我的老二打爆你的脸 - This guy's fucking crazy. - Slap you all over your face with my cock!
- 小心别撞车 - 趁现在快走 - Don't get in a wreck. - It's go time.
好，继续讲，戴尔 Okay. More, Dale.
我会在你身体上上下下 I will go up and down on you...
用我的屁股摩擦你的屁股 and I'll rub my naked butt against your naked butt...
直到它们又红又肿 until it's raw and red...
然后我们都会有严重的擦伤 and we're both really chafed up real bad.
不太妙，快离开这里！快离开这里！ Not good. Get us out of here! Get us out of here!
交给我，交给我 I got it, I got it.
- 继续啊 - 我会在你的手臂上吐口水 - Come on. - I'll spit on your arms and stuff.
- 然后呢？ - 然后我要… - What else? - And then I'm gonna...
把我的头整颗塞在你屁股里！ jam my skull into the crack of your ass!
没错，宝贝，塞在你屁股里！ Yeah, baby. In the crack of your ass.
然后我会在你的奶子上跳舞，在你的屁股跳上跳下 And I'll dance on your boobies, and I'll jump up and down on your butt.
那我们星期五见啰，色鬼 Ah. I'll see you Friday, dirty bird.
很好，星期五，星期五见 Good. Friday. See you Friday.
你不是说他不会再跟我乱搞了吗，库尔特 Nice job fucking the crazy out of her, Kurt!
抱歉喔，也许我应该要在她奶子上跳舞！ Maybe I should have been dancing on her boobs, huh?
没错你应该要 Maybe you should have.
对了，你刚刚车子开的还不错 That was very good driving, by the way.
谢谢 Thank you very much.
- 晚安，巴克曼先生 - 嘿，杰格利，你好吗？ - Good evening, Mn Buckman. - Yeah, hey, Gregory. How are you?
你车上的传感器回报说刚刚有碰撞 Our onboard sensors report you've had a collision.
那是因为有个疯子追撞我们 That's because we have a crazy man that hit us.
我会通知相关单位到你们那里 I will alert the authorities and direct them to your location.
别叫警察，他们已经在我们后面了 Don't call the cops. They're already after us.
杰格利，他们以为我们杀了人，所以别叫警察 No, Gregory, they think we murdered someone, all right? Do not call the cops.
怎么回事？你为什么减速，库尔特？ What's going on? Why you slowing down, Kurt?
不不不，不是我做的，引擎熄火了 Whoa. Oh, no, no, no. I didn't do that. No, the engine died.
- 我利用远程摇控让你的引擎熄火了 - 什么？ - I remotely disabled your engine. - What?
这是标准导航作业程序… It is standard Nav Guide protocol...
因为有驾驶涉及犯罪的关系 whenever a driver has committed a crime.
我一个月付19块，居然这样对我 I pay 19 bucks a month for this fucking service.
待在车子里别动，警察马上就到了 - Remain with your vehicle. - The police will be arriving shortly.
杰格利，你真是我们的最佳损友！ Gregory, I thought you were our fucking friend, man!
全部给我滚下车，快点，快点 Get out of the car, all of you. Come on. Come on.
- 记得我上次救了你一命吗？ - 闭嘴 - Remember I saved your life that one time? - Shut up.
- 放轻松一点… - 闭嘴 - Just take it easy with that... - Shut up.
我这把枪有6颗子弹 I got six bullets in this gun.
也就是说，我可以像佩里特一样，每个人打2枪 Which means I can shoot all of you twice, just like that bastard Pellit...
只要我高兴，但是我不会这么做 if I really wanted to, but I'm not gonna.
你不会打我们2枪，还是不会开枪打我们？ You're not gonna shoot us twice or not gonna shoot us?
闭嘴 Shut up.
我有更好的点子，我要跟警察说你们杀了佩里特 I got a better idea. I'm gonna tell the cops that you killed Pellit.
结果被我知道了，你们就想杀我灭口 And when I found out, you tried to kill me to shut me up.
- 那太离谱了 - 是吗？ - That's crazy. - Is it?
因为我完全看不到什么证据可以证明我杀了佩里特 Because I don't see one shred of evidence that proves that I shot Pellit.
除此之外，我腿还中了枪 And besides, I'm the guy with the bullet in his leg.
什么？ What?
靠，真他妈痛死了 God, that hurts so much.
去你妈的 Son of a bitch.
- 接着 - 不，别接… - Catch! - No, don't ca...!
- 可恶啊，戴尔 - 你懂了吗？ - Goddamn it, Dale. - You see?
如果你不在奶头上贴些ok绷，就别想赢马拉松 You can't win a marathon without putting some Band-Aids on your nipples.
- 那是什么意思？ - 仔细看好了 - What does that mean? - Watch this.
- 所有人别动！ - 警察！ - Everybody freeze! - Police!
把枪放下，跪下！ Drop the gun! On your knees!
感谢老天，警官，谢谢你们终于来了 - Thank God. - Officers, thank God you're here.
这几个人，开枪打我 These guys, they shot me.
- 他骗人！ - 胡扯！ - That's not true! - That's bullshit!
我发现他们杀了人，就想杀我灭口 I found out they murdered someone. They tried to shut me up.
请你们保护我，我家有老婆和一只猫 Please protect me from them. I have a wife and a cat!
好了，放轻松，快叫救护车 - All right, take it easy. - Call for an ambulance.
- 喂，这是什么？ - 没什么，只是一台录音机 - Hey, what is this? - It's nothing. It's just a tape recorder.
靠！是录音机 Oh, shit! It's a tape recorder!
- 录音机，你有关掉电源吗？ - 不，一直都开着！ - A tape recorder. Did you turn that off? - No, it's been recording!
- 听我们说，警官 - 手举起来 - So listen to us, officer. - Hands up!
听说我们几句，他坦承杀了佩里特 Listen to us for one second. He confessed to killing Pellit.
他说他打了他2枪 He said he shot him twice...
还说要打我们1枪或2枪，他自己也不确定 and he was gonna shoot us once or twice. He was unclear about that.
- 你发神经了 - 放带子就对了 - You are insane. - Just play the tape.
不过大家都在外面 But all those people are just right outside.
你的懒蛋好柔软 Your balls are so smooth.
等一下，那是我老婆吗？ Wait a minute. Is that my wife?
不，不，当然不是，我们快转吧 No, no. Of course not, no. Let's move past that.
把我的头整颗塞在你屁股里！ - -Jam my skull into the crack of your ass!
然后我会在你的奶子上跳舞，在你的屁股跳上跳下 I'll dance on your boobies, and jump up and down on your butt.
这是什么东西？ What the fuck is this?
别批判我，我和我老板有一腿，不关你们的事 Don't judge. I have a thing with my boss- It's none of your business.
直接跳到最后面…？ If you could get to the end...'?
什么也没有 There's nothing on here.
- 靠！ - 怎么了？ - Shit! - What happened?
一定是刚刚一撞车，就停止录音了 Thing must have stopped when we crashed.
在这家伙承认犯罪之前？ Before this guy supposedly confessed?
我就说了吧，这些家伙是骗子，不能相信他们 I told you, these guys are liars. They cannot be trusted.
他们开枪打我的腿，还杀了一个人 They shot me in the leg, killed a guy.
- 他自己开枪打自己 - 我不想再听任何废话了 - He shot himself. - I don't need to hear anything else.
- 给他们铐上 - 我的天啊！ - Cuff them. - Oh, my God.
- 你不需要铐我们 - 天啊，我们要坐牢了 - You don't need to cuff us. - My God, we're going to jail.
我们要去坐牢了，真是难以置信 We're going to jail. Unbelievable.
好痛，真的好痛 It hurts. It hurts so much.
打扰一下？ 警官？ Excuse me? Officers?
我应该提到那个卫星导航系统的策略… I should mention that it is Nav Guide policy...
就是为了保证质量而记录所有的对话 to record all conversations for quality assurance.
- 那是谁啊？ - 那是我们的卫星导航员 - Who the hell's that? - That's our Nav Guide rep.
- 他叫阿曼那 - 手举起来！ - His name is Almonan. - Hands up!
- 阿特曼那 - 阿曼曼那 - Atmanad. - Almondmond.
- 就是阿特曼那 - 阿特曼那 - Atmanad is what it was! - Atmanand.
阿特曼… 杰格利，把他说的话播出来 Atmand... Gregory, uh, play what he said.
- 把撞车之后的录音播出来 - 好的 - Play it just after the crash. - Very good, sir.
不会吧，这没什么好听的，不能当证据 You're not gonna listen to this. This isn't evidence.
我这把枪有6颗子弹 I got six bullets in this gun.
也就是说，我可以像佩里特一样，每个人打2枪 Which means I can shoot all of you twice, just like that bastard Pellit...
只要我高兴，但是我不会这么做 if I really wanted to, but I'm not gonna.
- 就是这个 - 你才是凶手 - That's it. - So it was you.
那不能证明什么，只是一台车，你不能听车子的话 That is not proof. That's just a car. You're not gonna listen to a car.
看起来最后我还是升官了 Looks like I'm getting that promotion after all. Yeah.
回答你的问题，那的确是你老婆 To answer your question, that was your wife.
- 你干了我老婆？ - 我干了你老婆 - You fucked my wife? - I fucked your wife.
没有人可以干我老婆！ Nobody fucks my wife!
你觉得这个滋味如何？ How you like them nipples?
你刚刚说的是电影里的名句吗？ Did you just do the catchphrase?
- 《心灵捕手》 - 《心灵捕手》 - Good Will Hunting. - Good Will Hunting.
- 真是太棒了 - 我了解了 - That's so great. - Caught it, yeah.
《心灵捕手》里的句子 不是说“苹果”，他说的是“奶头” Good Will Hunting rip. Instead of saying "apples" he said “nipples."
- 感同身受啊 - 生日快乐 - Felt like a moment. - And happy birthday.
所以最后我们没有去坐牢 So in the end, we didn't wind up going to jail.
其实，我们稍晚有去警局坐了一下 Actually, we did later that night when they booked us.
但是因为我们帮警察逮到了哈肯 But since we led the cops to Harken...
最终他们同意不追究我们其他的罪刑 they ultimately agreed to let our other offenses slide.
说也奇怪，库尔特很好运 Strangely enough, lucky for Kurt...
法律并没有把卫浴用品塞进屁股里的相关规定 there 's no laws on the books against putting people's toiletries up your ass.
总之，随着哈肯有了新的职位 Anyway, with Harken in his new position...
25年将在监狱里度过，所以公司升我为代理总裁 on all fours in prison for 25 to life, Comnidyne made me acting president.
这是很棒的工作，我得到大幅调薪，而且我自己就是老板 It's a great job, I got a solid raise and I 'm actually my own boss.
除了首席执行长之外… Well, except for the CEO.
- 早安 - 早安，你一定就是尼克了 - Morning. - Oh, morning. You, uh, must be Nick.
- 是的 - 很高兴终于见到你了 - I am. - Well, it's great to finally meet you.
- 我也是，谢尔曼先生 - 请叫我卢 - You too, Mr. Sherman. - Please. Lou.
好的，卢 Okay. Lou.
很感谢你给我这个机会，我不会让你失望的 I appreciate the opportunity you've given me. I won't let you down.
是啊，我知道你不会，孩子 Yeah, I'm sure you won't, son.
就我所听到的，人们都说他是世界上最好的人 From what I hear people say he's the nicest guy in the world.
谢尔曼先生，很抱歉你的咖啡冷掉了 Mr. Sherman, I'm sorry your coffee was cold.
呃，卢？ Uh, Lou?
大部份的人啦 Most people.
谢尔曼先生，我饿了 Mr. Sherman, I'm hungry!
可以放我出来吗，求求你？ Can I come out now, please?
- 你有听到吗？ - 没有 - You hear that? - No.
- 听起来好像有人在你后车箱里 - 尼克 Sounds like there's someone in your trunk.
把这当成我们之间的小密秘如何？ Why don't we let this be, uh, our little secret?
我想要洗澡 I need a shower.
是啊，结果我的新老板 Yeah. Turns out my new boss...
是个疯狂的老混蛋 is a twisted old fuck.
同一时间，佩里特家族让最资深的员工接管了公司 Meanwhile, the Pellit family put the most senior person in charge of the company...
不是库尔特，不过他也无所谓啦 which wasn't Kurt. But he was okay with that.
因为他知道当上老板后，员工常常会咀咒你死 Because he realized that when you're the boss, sometimes people want you dead.
- 嘿，库尔特，请进 - 玛吉，我要恭喜你 - Hey, Kurt. Come in. - Margie, I wanted to congratulate you.
谢谢 Thank you.
如果在生小孩之前有什么我能效劳的，尽量开口 If there's anything I can do to help out before the baby gets here, let me know.
- 什么小孩？ - 你的小孩 - What baby? - Your baby.
- 我没怀孕 - 所以我现在只是在摸你而己？ - I'm not pregnant. - So I'm just touching you?
茱莉亚 Julia.
我在想也许我们可以先对病人下手 I was thinking perhaps we could drill the patient first.
至于戴尔 And Dale?
最后，他还是做出了不二的决定，就是要干了茱莉亚 Ultimately, he decided his only choice was to screw Julia after all.
你真是让我惊奇不断… You just continue to surprise me...
你这个好色的小色鬼 you dirty, dirty little man.
拭目以待吧 Just you wait.
你喜欢吗，戴尔？ You like that, Dale?
- 喜欢吗，戴尔？ - 哇靠，我喜欢 - You like that, Dale? - Oh, my God, yeah.
啊，我好希望可以和茱莉亚做爱喔 Oh, gosh, do I wish I could have sex with Julia.
什么？ What?
对不起，但我实在忍不住了，太神奇了！ I'm so sorry, but I couldn't keep it together! It's amazing!
- 她对着你的老二讲话！ - 你是谁？ - She was talking to your penis! - Who are you?
茱莉亚，这是我的好朋友，肯尼尚姆费德 Julia, this is my good friend, Kenny Sommerfeld.
前途无量 Most Likely to Succeed.
- 握个手吧 - 别碰我 - Give me some of that. - Don't you touch me.
肯尼这个人呢，为了50块他什么事都肯干 Now, Kenny here, he'll do just about anything for 50 bucks.
- 是啊，没错 - 是啊，而且不怎么可爱 - Yeah, it's true. - Yeah, and it's not pretty.
所以我叫他来帮我陷害你 But that's why I asked him to help me frame you.
真的吗？ 你就只有这点本事？耍嘴皮子而已？ Really? Is this all you've got? Your word against mine?
别忽略了那家伙 Don't forget about that guy.
跟我的摄影师打声招呼，他可是拍了很多好莱坞的巨片 Say hi to my cameraman. He's filmed a lot of Hollywood hits.
你真是个变态 You are a sick little bastard.
闭上你的鸟嘴 Shut the fuck up for a second.
茱莉亚，先闭上你的鸟嘴，好吗？ Julia, shut the fuck up for a second, all right?
接下来，你给我听好了，了解吗？ Now, here's what's gonna happen, okay?
我要和我的未婚妻去享受为期两周既美好又昂贵的假期 I'm going to take a very nice, very expensive two-week vacation with my fiancee.
就叫它渡蜜月，可以吗？然后全部由你买单 Let's call it a honeymoon, all right? And you are gonna pay for it.
然后我回来后要待在没有性骚扰的场所工作，知道吗？ Then I'm going to return to a rape-free workplace, all right?
因为如果你真爱盯着我的屁股看的话，茱莉亚… Because if you so much as look at my sexy little ass, Julia...
我就让你去监狱里看个够 I will have yours locked the fuck up...
你这个疯狂的贱货！ you crazy bitch whore!
感觉好爽 Ah, that felt good.
（后面有花絮）
发型如何？好不好，行不行？ How's the hair? Is it good, is it great?
不是和他的一样差，是吧？ It's not as bad as his, is it?
我可不知道你称呼你的奶奶为“干干” I had no idea that you called your grandmother "Gam Gam."
冷静！ Calm down!
该死 他开车门走了 Holy shit. He went out the door.
这地方太惊人了 就像“尖端印象”专卖店一样… This place is awful. It's like The Sharper Image took a shit in here...
再加上公文包 Five forty with the briefcase.
别再说公文包了 Oh, shut up about the briefcase.
Gonna put that "briefcase" up my ass.
'M gonna put that briefcase up my ass!
跳舞女郎 A dancin' girl
- 你没事吧？他没事 - 是的，我没事 - You're good? He's good. - Yeah, I'm okay.
要不然小史黛西就会存进… Or else little Stacy here's gonna get a little peek...
我的相册里 at my photo album.
再来一个 检查一下 One more. Let's fix this.
在你一生中曾见过如此多的…？ Have you ever in your life seen this much co...?
尿… Pee, pee, pee, pee on the...
让… Let's...
现在我打了一个喷嚏 是得了糖尿病吗？ Now I'm sneezing dust bunnies. Is that diabetes?
我是药剂师，不是医生 I'm a pharmacist, not a doctor.
这是我的大脑吗？量量我的体温 Is that my brain? Take my temperature.
你们有没有镇静药？ Have you any, uh, roofies?
我要一个棒棒糖 你喜欢唱卡拉OK吗？ I want a lollipop. Do you like karaoke?
你们有摇头丸吗？我要吸你的… Do you have MDMA? I'll suck your d...
要倒霉了 Shit happens.
你之前有过什么丰功伟业呢，干你妈的？ What is your projected outside date of completion, Motherfucker?
你再说一遍 Give me that again.
我不介意把她屁股翘起来趴在桶子上，给她看美国50个州 Wouldn't mind bending her over a barrel and showing her the 50 states.
我不知道那是什么意思 I don't know what that means.
- 这是一句成语 - 我不这么认为 - It's a phrase. - I don't think so.
是成语 它的确是 肯定是 Yeah, it is. It certainly is. Yeah, it definitely is.
- 是吗？ - 是的，来自一部电影 - Really? - Yeah, it's from a movie.
就是现在 It is now.
妙极了 Beautiful.