At that time, everybody was tall, thin and blonde.
Everybody posed, everybody gave you a look.
But Gia was different.
She was the first one who. . . Who moved.
They all try to do it now, give you an attitude, but she invented it.
She always foIIowed her instincts
no matter where they took her.
It was probably the best and the worst thing about her.
with Gia, it was always about the sex.
Every Iook, every move, every minute. Every day.
Sex.
They were jealous of her. They still are. That's why they say those things.
She wouId come on to everybody, but it was really innocent.
l mean, nobody was ever really offended by it.
l don't think it had anything to do with sex.
Even when she was sIeeping around, sex was not the goaI.
Sex wasn't really an issue.
Yeah, I knew about the drugs.
l was afraid of the drugs, the way people used them.
It all just happened so fast.
You know, all of a sudden, her face was just everywhere.
Every modeI has a moment. I mean, the ones who make it at all.
And being of the moment is everything in fashion.
Fashion is not art, you know. Fashion isn't even culture.
Fashion is advertising,
and advertising is money.
And for every doIIar you earn, someone has to pay.
Once upon a time, once upon a time.
It was a fairy taIe.
It was. It was a fairy taIe come true.
I had two boys, you know, but boys you Iose.
They go away, they marry other women. They're gone.
A girI, you have forever.
When Gia was born, I said, "This one is mine."
-Look at you. -"All mine."
Look at me.
Look at us.
Look how pretty we are.
Do I be? Do I be the prettiest, prettiest girI?
You do. You do be the prettiest. You do be that.
-Where the heII have you been? -Out.
-Out? Out? Out where? -Out.
Joe, don't start.
Don't teII me, "Don't start." Out where? TeII me where you've been.
-Joe, Iower your voice. -Don't teII me to Iower my voice.
The kids know you haven't been home all night.
-Cut it out! -TeII them where you've been.
I'm not in the mood for this tonight, Joe.
Not in the mood, huh?
-Just Ieave me aIone. -Who were you with, KathIeen?
It's none of your business.
Don't teII me it's none of my business, you fucking whore.
-Get out. Get out of the kitchen. -Let me see. Did he fuck you?
-Stop! -Let me see. Did he fuck you?
-Where? Let me feeI ! -Pig ! Get your hands off!
-Who eIse has been in there besides me? -Get your hands off of me, jerk.
-Who eIse, huh? -You know how you make me feeI?
-You make me wanna die. You know that? -You wanna die? No!
You don't die untiI I teII you you can die.
That's when you die, God damn it, you hear me?
That's when you die!
Here, take this and put it in the car. I'II keep this one.
Once upon a time
in a kingdom far, far away
there lived a young girl
whose hair was made of gold.
when the people in the village saw her,
they said, "How beautiful she is."
AII right, one cheesesteak, one meatbaII, one saIami-provoIone.
Keep your eye on the shop, I'II be back by 4:00.
Try not to burn the pIace down, huh?
-Gia, you're in charge. -AII right, boss.
Hey, get the food, get the food. Go, come on, come on, get outta here.
-Get the cash register. What are you doing? -I'm in charge!
-Hey. -Is your name Gia?
Yeah.
-Got a Iight? -Stop screwing around.
I've seen you a few times around the neighborhood and. . .
Are you nervous?
Yeah.
Am I making you nervous?
Yeah.
WeII, good, 'cause that's the idea.
-What's that? -You scare the shit out of peopIe
and then they don't see how scared you are.
Are you scared?
What's your name?
T.J. Tom Junior, but T.J. is what they caII me.
T.J. and Gia.
I Iike that. Come on.
-I'm Ieaving. -Hey, Gia, wait a minute. Where you going?
-I'm in charge, and I'm Ieaving. -Gia.
-Is that The Byrds? -They're so cooI.
Wow. Rock my worId.
Seventy-five cents?
It's pretty. Pretty. Very pretty.
HeIIo, Iadies.
Can I have this? Come on.
-Hey. -Hey.
-Tattoo? -Tattoos.
-Tattoo you. -You getting a tattoo now?
No, tattoo you.
-I'm not getting a tattoo. -Come on. What? What?
Look at that hair. It's fabuIous.
You want a tattoo now?
She'd be a Iot of fun.
So who are you Iooking at, him or me?
l can't talk about the sex.
I mean, how wouId I know?
If you ask me, she never really had sex with anybody.
But she did love to be photographed,
and people loved to take pictures of her and do little things for her.
She hated being photographed.
You had to run after her and tie her down.
Then you had to get past the clothes and the stuff in her hair.
But she was speciaI.
KathIeen, Iet's go.
Coming, coming.
AII right, Iet's go.
And they showed her a beautiful house on the planet Mars.
And they said, "Come and live here forever."
And the young girl said,
"Mars is a planet where life's different.
"Safe, clean and pretty." Yes.
But... But how do you get there?
where do you find a taxi? which bus do you take?
Right? And how do you know you're there when you're there?
Philadelphia was not ready for this,
but New York was.
It was the right moment,
and being of the moment is everything in fashion.
But of course, the more you were of the moment,
the faster you become of the past.
Okay, Iet's get this over with.
Just go in there and try to be nice.
-Nice? -Yeah.
Nice.
Who knows? Maybe they'II Iike you.
-You are a very IikabIe girI. -Fuck you.
Okay.
Hi.
I'm here to see WiIheImina Cooper.
So's the rest of the worId and the rest of the worId's way ahead of you, honey.
Take a seat.
I have an appointment.
HoId, pIease.
Of course you do.
1 1 :00, Gia Marie Carangi.
"G" what?
Okay.
G-I-A.
There. Gia. Just fuck the rest of it. CaII me Gia.
Do you think you can remember that, honey?
Yeah? CooI. Now teII the bitch I'm here.
I've aIready seen the pictures, darIing. Maurice sent them.
I wanted to see the reaI thing.
WeII, this is it.
It certainIy is.
You practicaIIy gave my receptionist a coronary.
Yeah, weII, Iook. This was a free trip to New York,
and if I knew you were Iooking for Marcia-fucking-Brady,
I wouId've stayed home.
How do you know what I'm Iooking for?
-WeII, fuck, Iook at me. -I'm Iooking, I'm Iooking.
You know, dressing Iike a motorcycIe tramp
is somewhat interesting for a 1 7-year-oId girI.
TaIking Iike one is not.
In fact, taIking at all is not really required in this profession
or even encouraged.
Anything you might have to say you say through the camera, the image,
and hopefuIIy the product.
What comes out of your mouth is totaIIy irreIevant.
Understood?
Yes, sir.
Now, this is a career,
this is a future,
this is a Iife
if you want it.
Does that mean you can get me a job?
No.
I get you the interviews,
you get the job.
And I beIieve you wiII.
Dear Diary, this is my life.
Go see Young & Rubicam, 9:45.
Go see people at Revlon, 1 1 :1 5.
Go see Jimmy Moore, Bob Stone, somebody "Malowinksi,"
and "Get lost, honey. You ain't what we're lookin' for."
-Next! -Thank you and fuck you. Bye-bye.
Yeah, l go see, l go see. Nobody sees me.
"Piece of meat, come here. Show me your bag."
And they stick their finger in you.
"l just wanna taste your temperature."
Go see, go see, go see, go see somebody else.
l ain't no good at this. l ain't no good at this at all.
But even if you are good at it, what exactly are you good at?
-You can't Ieave now. -I have to go.
What, what? To PhiIadeIphia?
-For what? -I got stuff.
I have to go.
WeII, somebody has to take care of me. I'm just a kid.
BuIIshit.
What's in PhiIadeIphia that's more important than me?
-Do not do that. -Do not do what?
Do not pretend you're gonna do something when you know you're not.
What am I not gonna do?
What eIse?
What?
-Do you know what I want? -What?
-Know what I want? -What?
What?
How do they fit?
This turn you on?
Yeah.
-Kind of. -AII right.
Come here.
-Have you ever had sex with a man? -Yeah.
Once.
And?
And I couId've done that with a German shepherd.
Dear Book, this is another day in the life.
A life is like a book. A book is like a box.
A box has six sides, inside and outside.
So how do you get to what's inside?
How do you get what's inside out?
Once upon a time, there was a very pretty girl
who lived in a beautiful box and everybody loved her.
-Yes, heIIo? -Hello?
-What? -Hello. Hi.
Who the heII is that?
-WiIi? -who is it?
-Christ's sake. -l couldn't sleep.
Gia.
-MiddIe of the night. -It's very Iate.
-l know. -God damn it.
Is that your husband?
-Yes. -ls he pissed?
Yes.
Is it true that he drinks? I mean, that's what everybody says.
-Gia. -And he gets violent?
What is it you want, Gia?
If he ever Iays a hand on you, I'II fucking kiII him.
Why can't you sIeep?
Do you want me to come over?
You're nervous about tomorrow.
Yeah, I am.
WeII, everyone is nervous on their first shoot. You'II be fine.
Yeah, I just don't know what to do. You know?
Did you do your coIonic?
Yeah.
Good.
Go to bed now. Take one haIf of the NembutaI. The yeIIow and bIack.
You'II be fine.
-Just be yourself. -Okay, yeah.
what is that?
DarIing,
if I couId answer that for you or for me,
weII, Iife on this pIanet wouId be a very different proposition.
So I teII her, "Look, I know CaIvin and I asked him about you,
"and he didn't even know who you were."
-She's such a Iying sIag. Did she fIip? -Oh, man.
Excuse me, can I heIp you?
Yeah, yeah. CouId I have some more coffee, pIease?
-Are you Gia? -That's me.
You're Iate. Go wash your face.
I aIready did. It's nice to meet you, too.
What the heII am I gonna do with you?
I got it.
I don't know. I'm just some dumb girI from PhiIIy.
Oh, my God, she's a beast.
She scares me.
Why, PhiIIipe, does she remind you of your mother?
No, she reminds me of my brother. He's in jaiI now, thank Jesus.
Okay.
What?
It's wonderfuI.
Let's see this face.
I'm checking to see if you need to be tweezed.
-I'm tweezed. -I'm Linda.
Nice to meet you.
DreadfuI.
AbsoIuteIy horrendous.
More teeth.
Every photograph makes a promise, and the promise is never kept.
Look brain damaged.
That's what makes a photo great.
And if the promise is sex,
-then you really have something. -Good.
WonderfuI.
WeII,
that was all shit.
-Fuck you. -Now we can pay our rent.
Who wants to stay and make some art?
What's art?
Keep the fence, Iose the cIothes.
No, thanks, I'm gone.
I'm outta here. See you.
I'II stay if Linda stays.
-Linda, Liebling? -Yeah.
Go stand by the fence.
-You want me in the shot? -Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And Iose the cIothes.
Sex... Sex was really easy. It was...
Sex was everywhere. It didn't really mean too much.
Love. . . Love was the hard thing to find.
Even if you were looking for it, which not too many people were.
Even if you found it, which not too many people did.
Even if it was right there in front of you,
how couId you see it with all the sex in the way?
Hey, where you going?
Gia.
What happened? What's the matter?
You don't have any cIothes on.
Don't change the subject.
I have a boyfriend.
So?
So, I have to go.
"I have to go, I have to go." Everybody has to go.
Where the fuck does everybody go when they have to go, huh?
You. . . You and I had a. . .
I mean, it was. . . I had a. . .
I don't know.
I'm really very square.
So am I.
Yeah, I can see that.
PIease, don't go.
PIease, I'II make you breakfast.
Come on.
-Going down? -No.
-Yes. -No!
No, no. What are you doing? No.
-I'm so sorry. -Linda!
I'm so sorry.
I'II caII you.
Not.
It was Iike a puppy.
It was Iike, "Love me, Iove me, Iove me, Iove me."
I did.
I did. I did right away.
Extraordinary, as in phenomenal,
as in a gold mine.
Tough, vulnerable, old, young,
decadent, innocent,
male, female.
And you Iook Iike you don't give a shit.
I met somebody, someone I really Iike.
Good. Good for you.
Take a deep breath, darIing.
You are in for the ride of your Iife.
PaoIo.
Lower the fucking drawbridge, Tony.
Give me some of those goddamn drink tickets.
AIways a pIeasure to see you, too, Stephie, and this must be Gia.
How do you know my name?
I'm God, I know everything.
You see? Even God knows your name.
With a face Iike that, she doesn't need a name.
ActuaIIy, Tony, my face is a IittIe higher.
Anytime, Gia, anytime.
Stop being stingy, Tony.
That's OIivier Chandon, as in champagne.
Very rich. Did him in a car once.
I can't remember exactIy how fast we were going.
That's Stan Girardi. Used to do it with CheryI, but he's doabIe.
Joe Jamison. BeautifuI, but gay.
Not that that ever stopped me.
A IittIe tongue up his ass,
and he's all yours.
You're fuII of shit, aren't you?
Look, sometimes even I don't beIieve it, but it's all true.
Okay, break it up.
-On your Ieft. -Who was that?
I have no idea.
I do be the prettiest, prettiest girI. I do be that.
No, she's new, brand new. You have to see her. You'II Iike her.
-She's on the cover. -Gia, yeah.
No Iast name. Just Gia.
Boring.
PIayed out.
Fat.
Boring.
Too dumb.
For winter, we need meat.
We need someone with bIood in her veins. Not just suntan oiI and mineraI water.
Oh, God, I am so sick of her face.
-Who's this? -This is one of WiIheImina's new girIs, Gia.
This is meat.
This is sirIoin. It's Iusty.
Winter is carnivorous. Rich browns, reds, big animaI prints.
This is it. Yes!
Hey.
I just bought it. What do you think?
-Wow. -"Wow"?
Wanna go for a ride?
-I don't know. -Yeah, you do. Come on.
Yes!
-Where we going? -PhiIadeIphia.
What?
-HoId on ! -I am !
Yeah?
Hi, KathIeen.
Gia. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God ! Come on in.
-Come on. -This is my girIfriend, Linda.
Linda? Yeah, hi. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
So, teII me about New York.
Oh, God, it was like seeing an old girlfriend.
Yeah, she told me all the gossip about all the models.
You know, who had bad skin and who had bad hair.
The things that they did, she told me about, the places that they went. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God !
You're on the cover of Vogue! I can't beIieve it.
Oh, my God, isn't that beautiful?
Oh, honey.
So what eIse is going on, huh? Do you have a boyfriend?
No. Linda has a boyfriend.
-Yeah? -Yeah.
WeII, that's nice.
-I have a girIfriend. -Yeah, that's nice, too,
though it's not the same thing, is it?
And we never taIked about the past. That was over.
The past was the past. She never discussed it with me once.
It was Iike it never happened, all those years in between.
It was Iike it never happened.
I kept everything you've sent me.
I keep everything you ever touched ever since you were a baby.
What do I have? Oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
My journaI.
"Once upon a time. . ."
"Once upon a time, there was a girI with goIden hair
"who went to Iive in a beautiful house."
AIways the same story, yeah?
AIways different, always the same.
AIways the same.
Can I see?
Yeah.
Sometimes I think she was a different person to everybody.
Sometimes I knew who she was.
Sometimes I didn't.
Anybody who tries to teII you exactIy who she was,
they didn't know her at all.
We did everything together. Yeah, in those days.
Yeah, everything.
AII right.
This is. . .
What can I say? It's you.
I found it on short notice.
That's what it Iooks Iike.
So, l was standing in the middle of the living room,
and the bathroom door opens.
Gia. Gia. Gia.
-Yeah? -Who's that?
Who?
I started making trips to New York reguIarIy after that.
She wanted me there. She wanted me there all the time.
l couldn't, you know, because l had a husband, l had a home.
No, not red. YeIIow. YeIIow roses.
But l would go...
-To Linda. -...and l would stay for maybe a week.
Sometimes l would stay two.
Love on ya, Gia.
You're sending fIowers to a girI?
-Here, Iady. -Hi. Got it. Thanks.
Christ, another one?
-Who died? -None of your business.
Are you fucking a fIorist behind my back?
Yeah. GoId FTD guy with the winged shoes.
Hi.
I've been caIIing you for weeks.
Hi, Gia.
-This is my boyfriend, BiIIy. -Hi. I'm wrecked.
-Do you wanna come in? -I don't think that's a very good idea.
Why not?
You are really beautiful.
You're a modeI, aren't you?
Why? Do I Iook stupid?
-I have to work tomorrow. -Come on, it's earIy.
Maybe. . . Maybe we couId party.
You are the most beautiful woman that I have ever seen.
Come with me.
I can't.
Fine, see you around.
What the fuck was that?
BehoId the fIorist.
No, no, no!
I cannot stay!
Look, I'II come back, but I have to go home now, Gia.
-But I'II come back. -No, no, no.
If you need me, you just caII me.
I need you. I need you now.
-You have to be here now! -Gia. Gia. Gia.
When I need you, I need you now! I need you, Mom !
Listen to me. You are a big girI, all right?
-PIease! PIease! -You are a big girI, act Iike a big girI.
You've got to, and you are.
So be my big girI.
Now Iisten to me.
Listen to me. Listen to me.
I have to go home.
I have to.
Fine. Fine!
-Fine. Get out! -No, Gia. AII right, now, wait.
-Wait! -Get the fuck out!
No, not Iike this, Gia.
Yeah, Iike this! Get out! There. Get the fuck out!
-Gia, for God's sake. -Get out!
-Not Iike this, not Iike this. -Yeah, Iike this. Get the fuck out!
-Look. -There, get out! Get out!
-AII right. Fine, fine, fine. Fine. -Go, go!
-AII right, fine. -Get out!
Fine, Gia.
That's it.
That. . .
She's booked for 1 6 shoots this week, but I'II see what we can do.
And you are erupting forms. . .
TeII ScavuIIo he can have her. . .
. . .out of the center of all this tired, oId beauty.
Shaming them.
Excuse me? "Tired, oId beauty"?
You can have Renee. I know you want Gia, but you can't have Gia. Nothing untiI June.
This little wop is not standing in front of me. You got that?
l'm off to the side, or l walk.
Yeah, me, too.
Does this dress make my ass look fat?
Your ass is fat, honey.
And l'm not standing next to her fat ass.
I know.
Life is so disappointing.
Here you are.
You have arrived.
You are here. This is your moment.
What do you have?
You have pain.
When you have everything,
what do you have?
You have nothing.
When everything is right, everything is wrong.
It's disappointing. It's confusing.
This is Iife. What can you do?
PeopIe keep going away from me. That hurts.
Work.
Work. You have a gift.
Use it.
Life. . . Life wiII be there Iater.
When you've worked, and you've Iived,
and you know who you are, Iife is easy.
Work.
It's the onIy answer I know.
I shouId've been a rock star.
But I can't sing.
Work now.
You can Iive Iater.
You'd say anything to get that shot. Yeah?
-Yes. -Yes.
In this case, I'm saying the truth.
Sweetheart.
Now here's the picture. You girIs all hate Gia
because she is so much prettier than the rest of you.
And you're all so boring. She is so exciting.
If you don't Iike it, pIease, vanish from my worId.
No, I'm sorry, she's not avaiIabIe.
l know, darling. You can't get...
And she went to live in a beautiful house
and all the people loved her, and she was very, very happy.
No, she's on her way to Rome then. She's shooting Versace in MiIan
and Yves Saint Laurent in Paris.
Perry has her for the onIy runway show she's doing.
But the people in the village were very poor,
and every night, they crept into the house where the girl slept
and they cut off a piece of her golden hair and they sold it for money.
"She'll never even notice," they said.
And so, all the gold was gone from her head.
It's a reaI CindereIIa story.
-TeII him to hurry. Where's my tickets? -You are wired.
Here. Try some of this.
What? What is it?
The answer to all your prayers.
The only thing you have to remember is that it's not about you.
lt's not about you. lt's not you that they're looking at.
It's not about you.
I'm on top of that. I understand that.
Honey, that's good. I'm so gIad about that.
Because if you Iet it be about you, then you're screwed, you know.
So, you have to stay separate from what's happening
and you have to be somewhere eIse.
But I don't know where that somewhere eIse is, you know?
Or how to do that.
Honey, you can do whatever you want now.
Yeah? What is it I want?
What do I want?
I wiII be king, and you wiII be queen.
I don't think a woman is really a woman unIess she's a bIonde, you know.
Response is so enormous. I've never seen anything Iike it.
And so fast, huh?
About a miIIion peopIe want to shoot you this month.
We're going to name a whoIe phone Iine after you. Gia.
I couId Iearn photography.
That couId be something to want. I couId. . .
I couId photograph chiIdren.
I couId have my own chiIdren.
I wouId give them yeIIow roses.
And if they got too Ioud, I wouId just put them somepIace quiet.
I'd put them in the oven.
And I wouId kiss them every day
and teII them, "You don't have to be anybody,"
because I wouId know that being somebody doesn't make you anybody anyway.
You wiII always be somebody to me.
You will always be somebody to me.
And on the financial front, with the sudden illness of wilhelmina Cooper,
who's still hospitalized in Manhattan,
models and agents are competing for the top talent and highest fees.
with the latest news about inflation, bonds rallied today.
...showing its reaction to the president's speech.
More news in a moment.
She's doing all right. You know, they're running some more tests.
Maybe in a day or two, then we'll know something.
Come on, you gotta heIp me here. I'm under a Iot of pressure.
I can't give you any answers.
Gia,
I've been thinking a Iot about you IateIy.
It's terribIe, terribIe, isn't it?
Mike MansfieId, starting up the new Largo Agency.
What do you think you're gonna do now?
What do you mean?
WeII, you're a speciaI girI
with speciaI probIems.
I think you need speciaI attention.
You couId go to Ford
and there's always that asshoIe over at EIite.
But I think you shouId put some serious thought into coming with me.
Why? Why wouId I Ieave WiIi?
You have to start thinking about yourseIf. You have to be tough.
This is a business, and in this business
you can't be represented by a dead woman.
Excuse me.
Why don't you give me a caII?
Yes, darIing, I know it's so inconvenient.
Get me a copy of the caII sheet,
and teII Freddie I wanted to speak to him 1 0 minutes ago.
-Done. I'II take care of it. -Gia, darIing, kiss me.
Yes, I have to go, too.
Have a wonderfuI trip. TeII Christian to behave himseIf.
Ciao, darIing.
-I'm exhausted. -Me, too.
Come here, come here, come here.
I thought you were sick.
I am sick, darIing, sick and tired,
but it's not serious.
-I'm tired, too. -You?
Yeah. Yeah.
I think I wanna stop for a whiIe. You know, I need some time to think.
Yes, but not now, darIing.
PIenty of time to rest when you're in the ground.
You have
the whoIe worId
at your fingertips.
You have to be strong. Seize the moment.
Because if you don't,
there's always another girI waiting right behind you
breathing over your shouIder.
Come on.
I know. I know it's hard.
We can do it.
You and I together.
She really Iooked dead, didn't she?
The great thing about the afterIife is nobody cares how you Iook.
I can hardIy wait.
Too rich and too thin.
-I had no idea she was that sick. -You can never really teII with Germans.
God !
Great. That's beautiful. Okay, really nice. CooI.
Right. Can you roII your eyes back a IittIe so we can see the white under them?
-We're going for the seppuku Iook. -What is that?
Japanese. Sorry, it means that you're haIf dead.
-I'm there. -I know, it's great.
You, you are doing so, so good.
ReaIIy, you Iook super.
Oh, my God. Did you aImost just throw up?
Look, I'm really sick.
Can you go make a run downtown for me, pIease?
You're not gonna throw up on this dress, are you?
Just. . . I'm sick. Go downtown. AII right?
There's a taco pIace, and you ask for SateIIite or Rich Boy.
Okay? Yeah?
-Chasing the dragon, are you? -Yeah, I'm sorry.
No, it works, it works. A IittIe death around the eyes.
Okay, great. FabuIous. Great. Good.
That's really great. That's great.
Fantastic. Right by the bike. Good. Bad girI, bad girI.
Good.
Yeah, that's it. Great.
Good. Fantastic.
-She's out of her fucking mind ! -CouId CheryI Tiegs do this?
I don't think so.
Go.
Hey, wait! Hey, where you going? Hey!
-Hey, where's SateIIite? Is he here? -Yeah.
Come here.
Fuck.
Hey, you bitch.
Where's SateIIite?
Where is SateIIite?
I am sick, fucking junkies. I'm sick! Where is he?
He's making a deIivery.
-Is anybody hoIding anything? PIease! -I'II give you my shot.
I don't shoot. Do you have anything eIse, dry?
No, man. AII I got is in here.
I can't.
-Okay, if you don't want it. . . -Wait.
I want it. You do me. WiII you do it?
Yeah.
Yeah, I'II do you.
Is this gonna hurt?
No pain.
Thank you.
Don't be scared, baby.
I'II take you home.
Oh, God.
Oh, my God.
I was thinking about you.
Are you okay?
Is your boyfriend here?
I don't have a boyfriend anymore.
I'm all dirty.
l was afraid of the drugs.
The way people used them.
I toId her that. I mean, she knew that.
I was afraid of a Iot of things.
But she promised,
and l believed her.
And l believed we could make things work.
l believed because we both wanted it so much that we could.
we could...
And we did. we did. we did make it work.
You're coming home?
Just out of the bIue you're coming home?
Just Iike that you caII me?
You are a piece of work, you are.
Philadelphia?
The bitch is in Philadelphia?
I'm kiIIing myseIf trying to keep this agency aIive,
which is not easy,
since my wife with her dying breath screwed me out of 50% of the company.
Fucking women.
And now you tell me this little
whateverjust disappears.
I hope she fucking dies in PhiIadeIphia.
It's a 21 -day program.
It's your responsibiIity to come in every day and take the methadone.
AII right. Drink the water.
That's all right.
I need you to drink the water.
And sign next to the Iine.
Okay.
Dwayne King.
There you are, Mr. Doodiekins. Fresh from the oven.
Thank you, Mrs. Doodiekins.
I couId do this, you know that? I couId be a fucking housewife.
I'd be very happy.
So, I cooked.
Ketchup.
Dinner's ready.
Dinner is served.
It's very depressing, this apartment.
AII right, all right. "Shut up, Mom."
So, is Linda coming back tonight or is she staying in New York?
I don't know. If she works Iate, she's gonna stay.
I hate what this methadone is doing to your shouIders.
They used to stand up so straight, so beautiful.
Come on.
And you have to watch your weight, too.
You want to Iook good for when you go back to work.
-I'm not going back to work. -Okay.
-I can't. -AII right.
Do you understand that?
That's how you feeI now.
But just wait. You'II see.
Hi, this is Linda. l'm not here. Leave a message.
Hi, Doo-doo. lt's me. I've been calling all night. where are you?
-Linda? -HeIIo?
-Who's this? -This is BiIIy. Who's this?
Gia?
Gia!
Damn it! God damn it, Gia!
Oh, my God, she broke into my house. She stole some money.
She stole jewelry.
She bought the drugs and then she took off in the car like a crazy person.
It was unbelievable.
She took my wedding ring!
Stop the vehicle and pull over.
And the lies.
You know that old joke, how can you tell when a junkie is lying?
Her Iips are moving.
It's not funny.
Step out of the car.
-Why are you chasing me? Are you crazy? -Lady.
I'm trying to get to New York, and you're fucking chasing me?
-AII right, ma'am. CaIm down. -What is wrong with you, huh? God !
-Ma'am? -What?
What the. . . Just back off, okay? God !
-Ma'am? -I have to go.
Hey.
Ma'am? Hey!
Get fucking arrested for nothing, that's why.
These are serious charges. ReckIess driving.
-This is resisting arrest. -God damn it! It's not my fauIt!
It was not my fauIt either!
He was there getting some stuff out of my apartment!
I wasn't even there! I was on my way back here!
Thank God, because otherwise, you'd stiII be in jaiI.
I have to go back to work.
I know what you're gonna say, but I need the money.
Stop it! Stop it.
I need the money so I can be with you, because I cannot Iive Iike this.
I cannot Iive Iike this, okay? I can't Iive Iike this.
And I can't Iive without you.
You want to come to Largo now?
Is that because everyone eIse is afraid of signing you?
No, I haven't asked anyone eIse.
Then why me?
Because you're a greedy fuck
and you'II get me more money than anyone eIse.
That's the truth.
So, Iet me be truthfuI with you.
Everyone's aware of the drug probIem. You weren't very discreet.
WeII, I'm cIean now,
and I want to work.
Let me see your arms.
It's not my arms you want. It's my face,
and my tits.
And they're fine.
We're doing a teIevision piece on modeIs.
I want you to be in it.
I want you to Iook more beautiful
than you have ever Iooked.
And I want you to teII the worId
that you once had a drug probIem and now you don't.
Now you're a good IittIe girI.
If you do that,
we have a deaI.
Okay.
Good.
-I can't do this. -Yes, you can.
I'm a modeI. I don't taIk.
I'm not supposed to taIk. I'm supposed to just Iook beautiful.
You are beautiful.
You make me beautiful.
HeIIo.
Okay. We're all set.
I'm gonna tape you getting made up. Kind of a before-and-after thing.
-Great. -We've aIso got some interviews
set up with your friends, your famiIy, your mother.
You're gonna put my mother on tape?
-Yes, most definitely. -well, that should be interesting.
-You ready? -Yeah.
Good.
-I just have to go to the bathroom. -Sure.
Why don't you guys come over here?
This is what I want. I want the questions to be short and quick.
And how did things first start for you in modeling?
I started working with very good peopIe.
A Iot of them. Very fast, you know?
I didn't buiId into being a modeI.
I just sort of became one.
How has that affected you?
When you're young, you don't always know.
It's hard to make out the difference
between what's reaI and what is not reaI.
At one point, you kind of got into the drug scene, didn't you?
Yes, yes, you couId say that I did.
But you're free of it now, aren't you?
Yes. DefiniteIy, I'm free of it.
I wouIdn't be here right now taIking to all of you if I wasn't.
Are you happy with your success?
l...
Yes. Yeah.
-l am. -You hesitated.
I just wanted to think about it. But, no, I'm definiteIy happy with it.
Good. Thank you.
Yeah, thank you.
Fuck! What the fuck?
I, Iike, kick Spider-Man's ass!
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I just wanted to make you smiIe.
Okay.
Okay, I'm going. Last chance.
I'm Ieaving, through the front door.
I can't do this.
Don't say that. Just say you'II see me tomorrow.
-No, you won't. You won't see me tomorrow. -Don't say that!
Don't say that.
We had a deaI. We made a bargain.
I Iove you.
No, you don't.
AII right, I don't. I don't. I don't.
What are you, huh? You some kind of fucking poIiceman?
You going to judge me? I did one fucking Iine.
One Iine.
What is the big deaI?
What about yesterday? What about the day before?
Nothing.
I did nothing. I promise.
PIease, don't Ieave me.
I don't beIieve you.
You don't beIieve me because you don't want to beIieve me, do you?
Because you don't care! Because you just wanted to say,
"I'm fucking a modeI !" Huh? "I'm fucking a modeI !"
You don't care about me at all, do you?
Do you? TeII me you don't care! Say, "I don't care! I don't care!"
PIease. I'm sorry.
I need you so much. Don't make me do this.
I don't make you do anything.
I wish I couId.
You couId. You couId. You couId.
You couId take care of me.
-Do you have $30? -No.
I don't have any money.
I don't know why. I never have it.
I never have any money.
In my sock.
-This is what makes you do everything. -No, it doesn't.
Yeah. It's not me. It's not you. It's this.
This shit hoIds you.
-You choose. -Come on.
Yeah, this or me.
Your finger.
Your knees.
Your skin.
Your toes.
I Iove you.
Gia!
Change.
She is over.
It's just a question of time now.
Hey, come on.
-Hi. -Yes, you are.
You dropped this, honey.
You want to come on and finish this fiasco?
No.
You Iook so pretty.
Yeah.
Thanks.
I Iove you.
I know. You Iove everybody.
Gia, listen to me. l am trying to get you work.
But it's all spring stuff now.
Everybody wants the bIondes with the suntans and the sundresses.
I'm sorry. No, your Iook is not spring.
Your Iook is more Iike nucIear fucking winter, and nobody wants it.
Hang up the phone.
I am so tense.
Ron, can you use some of those fucking muscIes?
I'm so tense.
"When she kisses me, I feeI all four winds bIow at my face.
"But what do you do with a woman who has no love for you?
"She is my lost captive
"and no longer lies along my legs."
l wrote that for you.
-Why did they send her out? -Because I asked for her.
-AII right? -AII right.
We use them up,
throw them away.
No.
-Where's my knife? -I haven't seen it.
Who took my fucking knife?
Who do I Iook Iike, a fucking terrorist? Is this funny?
-What the fuck is wrong with you peopIe? -Gia.
Get the fuck away from me!
Get away! Where's my knife?
Here it is. Here it is.
You know, you can't do that.
You can't take somebody's knife when they need it!
It's all right. It's fine.
-Look at the tracks on her arms. -Okay, now.
And that awfuI thing on her hand.
-It Iooks Iike a voIcano. -AII right.
Try. . . Try foIding your arms.
Put them in back of you.
WeII, you've aImost got it.
Now, try sitting on your hands.
Yes, yes.
You Iook wonderfuI.
BeautifuI.
-Francesco? -Yes, sweetheart?
Thank you.
Gia, this is Iife, not heaven.
You don't have to be perfect.
Look at me. Where are those eyes? Where's the mouth?
What? You're not!
TruIy? You're on an airpIane?
-Yeah. -Oh, my God ! Listen to me!
I'm so excited ! I'm yeIIing !
I don't have to yeII, do I?
-No, you don't have to yeII. -Henry!
-Mom, I don't want to taIk to Henry. -Where is he? HoId on.
Henry. Where are you? Where are you? I mean, where is the airpIane?
I've never talked to anybody on an airplane before.
I was in Paris and I think I'm going to Munich.
I don't know.
I don't feeI so good.
WeII, honey, you're probabIy just tired, you know?
Yeah, and I'm coId.
You know,
I was thinking about coming home again. What do you think?
Honey, I don't think so.
You know?
-Yeah. -I mean, you know, after the Iast time.
Yeah, I know. Of course.
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
I better go.
AII right. Okay. AII right.
Listen to me. Now, you take care of yourseIf.
Okay? Okay. You call me.
-Okay. -Okay? Because l love you.
-Bye. -Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
Every model has a moment,
l mean, the ones who make it at all,
and whether or not they can parlay that moment
into some kind of a career, well, that's the gamble, isn't it?
'Cause the moment is a very short time.
It's here and then it's gone, just Iike most of these girIs.
They're here and then they're gone.
when she came back to New York, l was in Philadelphia.
And l heard some things.
A lot of things.
So l took the train up to see her.
I can't find my money.
-What? -I had $600, and I can't find it.
What's going on?
I can't find my money!
What's wrong with you?
What are you doing?
-Do you have any money? -No, I don't have any money.
You want to fuck me?
Gia.
You give me money, I'II Iet you fuck me.
-Come here. -What?
No.
No, get off! What? No.
-Can I pIease hoId you? -Get off! Get off!
-No drugs. -Get off!
Get off of me!
-CaIm down. -Okay.
Okay.
-Okay, do you have any medicaI insurance? -No.
-Can you pay cash for this? -No, I don't have any money.
Stupid question.
AII right. You'II have to decIare yourseIf indigent.
Do you understand that?
wait a minute.
what, am l supposed to feel sorry for you because you're beautiful?
Because you made 1 0,000 a minute doing fucking nothing?
"It was so hard, so terribIe. They treated me so bad."
Listen, girI. You had a free ride and you fucking bIew it.
And me?
I'm some kid from Ohio,
reading fashion magazines, Iooking at your picture and thinking,
"I'm supposed to Iook Iike that,"
and going fucking crazy because I don't.
Because nobody toId me it was a Iie.
Because the magazine doesn't come with a IabeI that says,
"Caution. This is a Iie. Nobody Iooks Iike this."
Not even you.
well, they asked me to go to the sessions, so l did. l tried.
I just got so mad. I got so mad.
I said to them, "Look, I'm not the drug addict here.
"l'm not the one that you should be ripping apart."
I said, "This is all buried. Why don't you just Iet it be?"
That's what I toId 'em. Look, I know. I know.
You want to bIame somebody. You want to bIame me.
Okay, go ahead. Knock yourseIf out.
But just remember this, everything I did, I did because I Ioved her.
And I beIieve that it was my Iove and my prayers that got her through that.
Hi, Linda, it's Gia.
l'm calling to apologize.
l'm in this program
and it's, Iike, part of the program that we're supposed to
ask forgiveness of the peopIe that we hurt when we were drugging.
I was, Iike, "WeII, fuck, man. That couId take the rest of my Iife."
I'm sorry. This is stupid.
Anyway, I'm caIIing to ask forgiveness
and to say that l miss you, because...
HeIIo?
what is that? Am l done?
l think l'm done. l don't know what happened.
Hi. Hi, it's me.
Boy, Linda.
Yeah.
Hi.
WeII, now I don't know what to say.
It's okay. I heard you. I heard it all.
Is that okay?
Yeah.
I can't taIk right now. I have to go. Can I caII you in a few days?
I'm gonna be out in a few days, and then I'm gonna caII you, okay?
Okay.
You know how she's always saying she's a modeI?
Oh, my sweet Jesus!
Is that her?
God, she's been foIding the same pair of jeans for the Iast five minutes.
And that's another thing. You don't want to work in a pIace Iike that, Gia.
UgIy, ugIy pIace. UgIy peopIe.
Mom, Iisten. This is the good part.
This is good.
Everything's gonna be really good from now on, okay?
Okay.
Look at this. Look at your skin.
Mom.
What? It's just acne. It's okay. It'II go away.
It's the drugs. They're coming out of my system.
I'm gonna Iook really good.
And by Christmas, I'm gonna Iook great.
And we are gonna have the best hoIiday ever.
Why don't you come home, huh?
Move back in with me. Would you Iike that?
No,
I gotta be aIone.
But can you Iend me a few bucks for coffee and toothpaste?
The coffee!
I'm sorry. I forgot.
You know, with the money you made, you couId have Iived the rest of your Iife.
WeII, that's what happens, I suppose.
-What? -I'm just feeIing dizzy.
-What is it? -Mom.
Gia.
Honey. . . Honey, you're burning up.
-Why do my ears hurt? -Baby.
No, no, no, no, no. Oh, my God.
You have pneumonia, which we can treat.
Gia, Iisten.
There's something more serious going on which caused your infection.
Something they're caIIing Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome.
-Maybe you heard about it? -No.
How did I get it?
WeII, we're really just finding things out and you're the first woman I've known about.
AIthough, intravenous drug users seem to be an especiaIIy high-risk group.
So you probabIy got it from a contaminated needIe.
How do I get rid of it?
But how do they know? They don't know anything about it.
They know, okay? They just know.
You know what I think?
I think there's a reason for everything.
And I think that there's a pIan for everybody.
And I think that God has a big pIan for me.
Just not in this Iife.
I'm on top of everything. I'm super cooI.
You've gotten better.
I can't take her home.
I'm trying, but Henry, he's just afraid.
So what?
Dr. Blair...
This is your daughter. Your daughter.
So peopIe are scared. I am scared.
He's afraid that if peopIe find out, he couId Iose his job.
Fine. Okay, fine. Fine.
And where is she going to go?
He wants her to go to a hoteI. He says that he'II pay for it.
Oh, God, Iisten to me.
Listen to me.
Dr. Bruce, telephone, please. Dr. Bruce, telephone, please.
What about her father? Why can't he take her? Can he take her?
She doesn't want him to know.
I don't want to Iose my baby.
-KathIeen. -No, I can't. I can't.
well, you have to understand.
ln those days,
nobody knew.
PeopIe were scared. I was scared.
She must have been scared, too.
Dear Linda, this is the end of my book.
The last page, the last shot.
Seeing you to say hello and goodbye.
Seeing you to fill up all the empty, and smell and touch,
and leave my kisses all over your face.
-Gia. -That's me.
Come in. Come in.
Do you want some tea?
I was so nervous about seeing you. Coffee?
No, I can't stay Iong.
Why not?
I have an appointment.
Work?
No. No. No more work for me.
I just thought we'd have more time.
Yeah, me, too.
Just not today.
That's okay.
We have all the time in the worId. We'II take it.
Yeah, I guess so.
But today I just wanted to see your face.
I missed your face.
What are you going to do?
I don't know. I have some pIans.
I think I might go to schooI, you know? Learn something usefuI maybe.
Maybe even settIe down and have some kids, you know?
What the heII?
Wow.
How straight are you now?
I mean, are we taIking about men?
You don't need a husband to have kids.
And besides, you were the one who always had my heart, you know?
Yeah, I guess I did know that.
Would you keep these for me?
-Your fairy tales? -Yeah, some. A few.
Plus all the other crazy shit in my head.
I don't want to throw it away, but I just don't want it around right now.
-You can read it if you want. -No, I won't.
No, read it. Read it. I want you to, you know?
Maybe you can make some sense out of it. I never couId.
-Okay. -Okay.
-I'm gonna see you again, aren't I? -Yeah, you want to?
Yeah. Yeah.
You know, I was thinking about
getting a house at the beach this summer.
-Yeah? -Yeah.
I really thought that it wouId give us a chance.
I wouId Iike so much for us to have another chance.
Yeah, I'd Iike that, too.
I gotta go.
-No, wait. I want you to stay. -Yeah.
Hey.
You were the one. You were the onIy one.
And you are amazing.
She. . .
She put together this money.
She pawned some things, borrowed some from her father,
stole some from Kathleen.
I didn't know what she was doing.
l should have, but l didn't.
It may have crossed my mind.
l really didn't think she would do that.
I really didn't.
Yo, Gia. How you doing?
-Good. Is he here? -Yeah, yeah, he's in the back.
-Hey. -Hey.
-How much you want, angeI? -As much as you've got.
What are you gonna do with that much stuff?
WeII, that's my business.
-What, are you hoIding or not? -What's your hurry?
AII right. Come on. Yes, or no?
Yeah, I got what you need, and I got it right here.
Yo, man, what the fuck are you doing, man?
-Look what Santa CIaus brought us. -I'm freaking out of here!
You get the money. I'm gonna get mine.
It's gonna be all right.
KathIeen,
what are you doing here?
I'm gonna take you home, baby.
She wouldn't let anybody see her, but l went anyway.
l saw her once.
But l did see her.
-l don't think she knew it was me. -No more than five minutes, okay?
l couldn't help thinking to myself, "My God, she's just a kid."
I bIame myseIf, you know?
I mean, these are chiIdren.
No matter how screwed up our Iives may be we've got to take care of our chiIdren.
She knew she was dying.
She said she wanted to do it right.
She wanted to get a video camera
and do this thing where she taIked to kids about drugs.
She wanted to tell kids
that you can handle it.
You can handle anything that comes your way.
But we never got the camera.
You do be the prettiest, prettiest girI.
You do be that.
Do I?
Do I be the prettiest?
Yeah.
No.
Do you forgive me, KathIeen?
Oh, honey.
Yeah.
Of course I do.
Because I forgive you, too.
Baby.
What's this?
What is it?
Oh, my God.
Nurse? Nurse!
-Where are you going, Mom? -Nurse!
Mom?
Where you going?
She died around 1 0:00 in the morning.
They tried to pick her...
They tried to pick her up off the bed, and she...
The flesh just fell off her back. It just fell off.
You don't want to hear about that.
Okay, what eIse? What eIse?
Yeah, this is it. This is what I was Iooking for.
"And the peopIe said, 'Oh, she's not beautiful at all.'
"And they took her from the beautiful house and they drove her into the street.
"And she went away and she never came back.
"And soon, peopIe became hungry again and they went back into the beautiful house
"Iooking for goId, but there was no one there."
They say she knew. She really knew. She knew the whoIe story.
we found an undertaker, and it was hard, believe me,
you know, because of the AlDS.
l didn't want people to remember her like that
because l didn't want people to see her like that.
I wanted them to remember her as beautiful, because that's what she really was.
Life and death,
energy and peace.
If l stop today, it was still worth it.
Even the terrible mistakes that l have made and would have unmade if l could.
The pains that have burned me and scarred my soul.
It was worth it
for having been allowed to walk where I've walked,
which was to hell on Earth, heaven on Earth,
back again, into, under, far in between, through it,
in it and above.