在2012年的5月 马修和莉莉 In May of 2012, Marshall and Lily
在公寓里举办了一个新生儿送礼会 hosted a baby shower in the apartment.
他们所有的朋友都要参加 All their friends were there.
所以我也理所当然保证准时出现在 So of course I made sure to show up exactly...
三个小时以后 ...three hours late.
-噢 糟了 我迟到了么 -是迟了点儿 - Oh, no! Am I late? - Little bit.
实在不好意思 我其实早就到了 不过 呃 Ah, I'm sorry, I would've gotten here earlier; it's just, um...
-你不想见到罗宾 –我不想见到罗宾 - You didn't want to see Robin. - I didn't want to see Robin.
我明白 这很幼稚 I know, it's childish.
她现在不在 对吧 She's not here, is she?
事实上 Actually...
噢 不好 我早到了么 Oh, no! Am I early?
是早了点儿 Little bit.
哇 她给你们买了红色的婴儿车 Whoa, she got you the red stroller?
看来我完爆她几条街嘛 Looks like I just blew her out of the water.
blew与blue同音
总之 她在聚会开始前就离开了 Anyway, she left before the party started.
哎 实在抱歉 我 Ah, I'm really sorry, I...
我只是觉得我和罗宾最好是 I just think it's best if Robin and I
一段时间内不要见面 don't see each other for a while.
泰德 没关系的 我小时候父母就离婚了 Ted, it's fine; I'm a child of divorce.
你们想怎么斗就怎么斗 You guys keep fighting all you want,
只要值钱的礼品别断了档就行 as long as the expensive gifts keep coming.
嗯 送礼会进行的怎么样 Uh, so how was the shower?
挺好的 It was good,
除了因巴尼的新脱衣舞娘女友 although there was one weird moment
引起的一个诡异时刻 with Barney's new stripper girlfriend.
一天50次 50 laps a day?
Lap有大腿的意思 所以这句可以理解为一天跳50次大腿舞
噢 我的天 那可真不少 小姑娘 Oh, my goodness, young lady. That is a lot.
噢 是么 Oh, is it?
真的很多么 路易斯奶奶 Is it a lot, Grandma Lois?
是的 我的女朋友会脱光光 Yes, my girlfriend gets naked
坐在男人的大腿上赚钱 and sits on guys' laps for money.
是的 有时候一天她需要跳50次 And, yes, sometimes it's as many as 50 laps in one day.
也许世俗会认为她的工作 And maybe society considers what she does
很"恶心" to be "Disgusting,"
或者很"放荡" or "Slutty,"
或者接近"卖春" or verging on "Prostitution,"
或者根本就是"卖春" or actual "Prostitution."
但是你知道么 我接受她 But you know what, I accept her.
如果你不能同样做到 And if you can't do the same,
那么 你该为自己感到羞耻 well, then shame on you.
为你自己 Shame...
感到 on...
羞耻 you.
我们刚才 其实 在讲游泳 We were, um, talking about swimming.
我说我有时候一天能游50圈 How I sometimes swim 50 laps a day.
lap还有圈的意思
噢 那是很好的有氧运动 Well, it's great cardio.
路易斯 我能帮您把香槟满上么 Lois, can I top off your champagne?
老爸老妈浪漫史 第七季 第二十二集
翻译: 爪爪 邵小庚 数字哥 Roy Mr.Gao Andie 后期+统筹: Cathy Roy 校对: 数字哥 加菲猪
霜爷永远活在我们心中~\(≧▽≦)/~ HIMYM字幕组倾情奉献
你知道什么事可笑吗 You know, it's funny,
当你告诉随便某个家伙你正在和一个脱衣舞娘交往 you tell the average guy you're dating a stripper,
他会认为这很强 he thinks it's awesome.
甚至你告诉你妈妈 她立刻兴奋地跟你击掌 Heck, you tell your mom, she high-fives you so fast,
根本等不及脱掉烤箱手套 she doesn't even take off her oven mitts.
但是如果他们知道 But if they had any idea
这到底有多艰难 被嫉妒折磨啊 how difficult it is: the jealousy,
没有安全感啊 the insecurity,
那些击掌就会变成同情击掌 those high-fives would be high-fives of condolence.
巴尼 根本就没有同情击掌这么一说 Barney, condolence high-fives are not a thing.
有这么一说 They're a thing.
恐怕我们不得不辞掉你了 I'm afraid we're gonna have to let you go.
击个掌 Up top.
哎 一直都在听我说那些无聊的两人世界问题 Ah, listen to me and my boring couples' problems.
你最近可好 How are you?
你的小光棍生活怎样 How's the single life?
我怎么知道啊 罗宾事件以后 I wouldn't know. After this whole Robin thing,
目前 我在保持低姿态 for the time being, I'm laying low.
低姿态你是指 Laying low as in
和一个特别矮的女生做的"姿态" sleeping with a really short chick?
你们用的39式么 (老汉推车) You guys doing 39?
我的意思是我现在没有在约会 I mean, I'm not seeing anyone.
我只是 这个 想办法忘掉罗宾 I'm just, you know, trying to get Robin out of my head.
你需要一个一夜情 You need a palate cleanser.
巴尼 拜托 别给我介绍 Barney, please, don't try to set me up
－奎恩的脱衣女伴儿们－哦 那个我想都没想过 with Quinn's stripper friends. Oh, I wouldn't dream of it.
为啥不行 你还要我暗示你多少次 Why not, how many hints do I have to drop?!
不 我寻思着更传统些的 No, I'm thinking of something much more traditional.
－网上约会 －额 还是别了 Online dating. Yeah, no thanks.
来吗 泰德 这都2012了 Come on, Ted! It's 2012.
你要指望什么 在书店读报纸的时候 What do you expect, to meet some cute travel agent
邂逅某位做旅游中介的萌妹子 when you're reading a newspaper at a bookstore?
这些东西早就入土了 None of those things exist anymore.
巴尼 我绝对 绝对不会 Barney, I will never, ever,
去搞网上约会的 ever, try online dating.
当天晚上 我试了一下网上约会 That night I tried online dating.
孩子们 而且这第一个女孩 And kids, the first girl
美丽 聪慧 风趣 战前建筑的巨大拥趸 beautiful, smart, funny, huge fan of prewar architecture,
最爱的诗人涅如达 最爱的电影 幽灵克星 favorite poet Neruda, favorite movie Ghostbusters,
而且她还不讨厌克里夫兰 and she didn't hate Cleveland.
她简直完美 She's perfect.
所以我给她发了封邮件 So I sent her an email,
邀请她一起玩迷你高尔夫 inviting her to mini golf.
喂 迷你高尔夫 - Hello. - Mini golf?
迷你高尔夫 谁会带初次约会对象去玩迷你高尔夫 Mini golf? Who takes a first date to mini golf?
我这就来 I'm coming over!
我去 泰德 泰德 我的小泰迪熊 Oh, Ted-Ted-Ted- Teddy-Ted-Ted.
谁放你进来的 Who buzzed you in?
你真的以为你可以 Did you really think you could start dating online,
瞒着我搞网上约会吗 and I wouldn't find out?
但是这 这个女孩 她 她是 But with thi-this girl, sh-she was...
我 她就是我 泰德 Me. She was me, Ted.
那是一个我知道你肯定从未见过的女孩儿的照片 The photo was just of some girl I knew you'd never seen before,
体育频道一个非常有名的主播 a very famous sports anchor on ESPN.
巴尼 我不需要你帮我找网恋对象 Barney, I don't need you to help me find a girl online.
没错因为我已经帮你找到了 Exactly because I've already done it!
实际上是三个女生 Three girls in fact.
我用我的个人对数 I scoured the dating sites
深挖了所有约会网站 using my own personal logarithms,
代入一海票变量 factoring in a broad spectrum of variables,
过滤掉不良的高危负因子 filtering out undesirable high-risk negatives,
从而保证百分之83的成功率 guaranteeing a success rate of 83...
你只是挑那种尽力露咪咪的女孩儿 You picked the girls that showed the most boob.
我那都是计算得出的结果来 My methods get results.
跟这三个女生约会 Go out with these three girls,
你的口味将会洗刷一新 and your palate is going to be so cleansed,
干净得都照的见你自己的影子 you will see your reflection in it.
那么当你照见的时候 And when you do,
你要整一整你的头发 因为 你见过自己现在啥样么 you can fix the hair, because... Have you seen yourself?
没 不过我见过 No, but you know what I have seen,
你脱衣舞女朋友的咪咪 哇哦 your stripper girlfriend's cans. Wow.
哇哦 哇哦 哇哦 Wow. Wow, wow.
那句有点过分了 是吧 That was going way too far, wasn't it?
对不起 I'm sorry.
同情击掌 My condolences.
来吧 Come on.
天啊 马修为了这孩子都已经快成神经病了 Man, Marshall's really stressing out about this baby.
他现在是每本书都不放过 He's reading every book,
专看母乳喂养的教学片 watching breast-feeding documentaries.
我有一天早上一醒来 发现他用襁褓把我包起来了 I woke up the other day, he had swaddled me.
没错 那是我几个月来睡的最好的一觉 Sure, it was the best night's sleep I had had in months,
不过还是... but still...
你知道他刚刚又发了什么神经吗 You know what his latest thing is?
这是神马东西 What the hell is that?
马修 那是个啥 Marshall, what is that?
我让闹钟每三个小时叫醒我一次 I rigged this alarm to go off every three hours.
我在训练我尽快适应 I'm training myself for the
在早期育婴阶段中的无规睡眠模式 sporadic sleep patterns of early parenthood.
现在 如果你不介意的话 Now, if you'll excuse me,
我现在需要安抚下这个假想宝宝了 I have a practice-baby to soothe.
你需要跟他好好谈谈 You got to talk to him.
嗯 我今晚会跟他谈谈的 Yeah, I'll talk to him tonight.
也许明天晚上 Maybe tomorrow morning.
最后体验一把襁褓睡眠 One last swaddle?
那太舒服了 It's just so cozy.
就像是睡在一个暖暖的墨西哥面饼卷里头 It's like sleeping in a warm burrito.
与此同时 巴尼正在经历着 Meanwhile, Barney was about to have
脱衣舞女男友的噩梦 a stripper's boyfriend's worst nightmare.
卡玛 Karma?
噢 天啊 我都认不出 Oh, my gosh, I didn't recognize you
大腿没有缠在头后面的你了 without your legs behind your head.
达瑞尔 我都认不出 Darryl, I didn't recognize you
没穿那件惊悚雨衣的你了 without your creepy trench coat.
你好吗 How are you?
很好 你明天上班吗 你懂的 Great, you working tomorrow? You know it.
很好 我会系好铃铛来的 Great. I'll be there with bells on.
铃铛的意思是 超薄运动裤哦 (bells也指睾丸) And by bells, I mean super thin sweatpants.
恶心 Gross.
他其实是个好人 He's actually a nice guy.
他就像副市长那么忙 he's so busy as deputy mayor,
不过我每个生日都能收到他的贺卡 but I always get a card on my birthday.
奎恩 我喜欢你是个脱衣舞女 Quinn, I love the fact that you're a stripper,
不过我也烦恼你是个脱衣舞女 but I hate the fact that you're a stripper.
巴尼 我喜欢我的工作 Barney, I like my job.
我不需要被谁拯救 And I do not need to be rescued.
所以 别自告奋勇行吗 So, don't be that guy.
你是对的 你是对的 You're right, you're right.
我明白了 当我没说 I got it. Forget I said anything.
嗯 Hmm.
晚上见 卡玛 I'll see you tonight, Karma.
好的 淫荡拉里 You got it, Dirty Larry.
你必须辞掉你那个工作 You have to quit your job!
那晚 我去跟 That night, I went out
巴尼帮我选的第一个女孩约会了 with the first girl Barney picked for me.
只是有一个问题 There was just one problem.
你的名字是罗宾 Your name is Robin?
嗯 带一个Y Yeah, with a Y.
哦 纙宾 Oh, Yobin.
不 罗缤 No, Robyn.
我的网名叫做枪迷好酒妹 I go by ScotchAndGunLover in my online profile,
因为这是我最喜欢的两样东西 'cause those are my two favorite things.
额 排在加拿大之后 我就是加拿大人 Well, next to Canada, my home and native land.
哦 加拿大 Oh. Canada.
就这样 And just like that,
罗缤变成了罗宾 Robyn became Robin.
最近怎么样 泰德 How's it going, Ted?
好啊 瞧瞧 妈咪是从酒吧回来了 Oh, good. Hey, look, mommy's back from the bar!
现在我终于可以洗个澡了 Now I can finally take a shower.
这个尿布真难闻 算了别告诉我 This diaper smells. I don't want to know.
好吧 马修 Okay, Marshall,
坐下 我们得谈谈 sit down; we need to talk.
看 我知道你是好意 Look, I know you mean well,
但是我们离临产还有五个星期的时间 but we have five weeks till the due date.
这段时间里我们就不能放松放松吗 Can't we use this time to just relax?
等孩子出生以后我们 We'll figure out how all this stuff
会搞清楚一切该怎么做的 works after the baby comes.
等孩子出生之后 After the baby comes?
对 我们到时再临时学 Yeah, we'll learn on the job.
临时 额 Learn on the j... Huh.
好吧 莉莉 我告诉你 Wow, you know, Lily,
也许问题不在于我还没有做好当爹的准备 maybe the crisis here isn't that I'm not ready to be a dad;
而是你都没做当娘的准备 maybe it's that you're not ready to be a mom!
你说什么 对 Excuse me?! Yeah.
就这样 争吵开始了 With that, an argument began,
争吵的细节直到现在他们还在激辩 the details of which are still hotly debated to this day.
例如 马修蜀黍发誓自己从未说过 For instance, Uncle Marshall swears he never said:
只有我一个人为这个孩子做出了牺牲 I'm the only one making sacrifices for this baby!
什么 What?!
而且他还坚称他从没真正说过这样的话 And he claims he never actually uttered the words:
你简直都不知道你是怀着孕呢 It's like you don't even know that you're pregnant!
而莉莉强调她这段话是在进行夸张 While Lily insists this part was exaggerated:
养小孩很简单的 你只要 Baby's are easy; you just
看他们卖萌然后喂他们吃意大利面就可以了 watch them be cute and feed them spaghetti!
但是两人对争论是怎么结束的并没有异议 But everyone agrees this is how the argument ended:
马修 我现在需要休战 需要安静 Marshall, what I need now is some peace, some quiet,
还有既然外面有 要去吃点意大利面 and now that it's out there, some spaghetti.
现在请扶我从沙发上起来 以便我摔门走 Now, please help me off the couch so I can storm out.
尼玛 Huh!
第二天 我向巴尼叙述了我约会的经过 The next day, I filled Barney in on my date.
噢 纙宾 Oh, Yobin.
不是 是罗缤 No, Robyn.
在那以后的整晚 And for the rest of the night,
每当我看着她 罗宾的脸庞浮现在面前 every time I looked at her, I just saw Robin's face.
-你眼前的不会是别人啊 -不 我们的罗宾 -Well, I should hope so. -No, our Robin.
名字里有i的罗宾(Robin里有字母i) Robin with an I.
呃 我们认识的罗宾可有两个眼睛啊 我的兄弟 Uh, our Robin has two eyes, my friend.
eye (眼睛)与 i (字母)谐音
不过这很好 你已经开始忘记她长什么样了 But that's good. You're forgetting what she looks like.
抱歉啊 那肯定不好受 I'm sorry, that must have been tough.
如果有谁知道个中滋味的话 那就是我 If anyone knows what that feels like, it's me.
深切慰问一下 My condolences.
好了 继续进行 Okay. Moving on.
下个女孩儿 特效感觉清除剂 Next girl, perfect palate cleanser.
和罗宾毫无相似之处 Nothing like Robin.
怎么个毫无法 How nothing?
我凝視着丗堺 我所看菿の I gaze out into the world and all I see
是①魸ㄋ兂梦想の栤葑之哋 is an icy place where dreams die.
千层面 不错啊 Ooh, lasagna.
咋样了 泰德 How's it going, Ted?
这 不是 什么 不是 为 为什么 What? No. What? Wh-Why?
你忘了吗 我有一次做了千层面啊 Remember, I made lasagna that one time.
就这样 That's all it takes?
那算哪门子千层面 你用你那裂了的犹太布丁 It wasn't even lasagna; you took your botched kugel
撒上番茄酱做出来的 and poured tomato sauce on it.
我又没说那个是好千层面 I didn't say it was good lasagna.
另外 你和这个女人想闹哪样啊 By the way, what are you doing with this girl?
整条胳膊都是纹身 还有所有 With tattoos all up and down her arms and...
其他地方 哟 我的天啊 everywhere else. Hello... good gravy.
难道这条龙的尾巴是一路通到她的 Does that dragons tail go all the way down to her...
嗯 是的 Ohh, yes, it does.
你要我怎样啊 罗宾 Well, what do you want me to do, Robin?
我必须要想办法摆脱你的阴影 I have to get over you somehow,
如果我必须付出这代价 and if this is what it takes...
你没事吧 Are you okay?
没事啊 怎么了 Yeah. Why?
你是掉线了吧 You kind of spaced out there.
二货 Weirdo.
所以 最后的最后 "So, in summation,
我真的真的很抱歉 I'm very, very sorry."
我猜我只是想要你仅仅属于我 "I guess I just wanted you all to myself,
然而当我想到那些矬男们的双眼双手游走于你的 "And then I thought of all the creepy guys groping at your...
好吧 我又要暴走了 "Okay, I'm getting mad again,
所以我停笔了 "So I'm going to stop writing now.
敬请享受这些巧克力带来的欢愉 可能含有花生成分 Please enjoy these chocolates, may contain peanuts."
亲亲然后就和好吧 Kiss and make up?
倚窗激情 然后再和好? Have sex up against the window and make up? -
你窗前的风景不错啊 You do have a great view.
唔 既然你提出来了 Well, funny you should mention that.
这是属于你的风景 It's your view.
再来大搞一下 Come again for Big Fudge?
祝贺你 你被录用了 Congratulations. You're hired.
你是国家巨人银行的 You are Goliath National Bank's
最新的执行策略协调官 newest executive strategy coordinator.
什么是执行策略协调官 What is an executive strategy coordinator?
这是三个充满铜臭味的词 It's three corporate-sounding words
组合到一起 就是一份虚职 which, when added together, equal a fake job
但是你拿到的薪水是实实在在的 for which you get a real paycheck
金额完全等同于你当脱衣舞娘的所得 in the amount of exactly what you'd make stripping.
还有牙医补贴哦 不用谢我 Plus dental. You're welcs.
现在 关于那倚窗激情 Now, about that up-against-the-window sex...
伙计 我不想在银行上班 Dude, I don't want to work for a bank.
为什么不想 Why not?
因为我有我的原则 Because I have standards.
你们这些人基本上就是妓女 You people are whores.
削尖脑袋就为几个臭钱 The things you're willing to do just for some money,
丢不丢人啊 it's shameful.
你在脱衣舞夜总会上班 You work in a strip club.
对 我喜欢我的工作 Yeah, and I like it.
而且我擅长我的工作 And I'm good at it.
巴尼 Barney,
如果我接受这份工作 我就是你的人了 if I took this job, you would own me.
我就相当于自愿进笼子里了 I would be willingly stepping into a cage,
而我是不做这种事的 which is something I don't do.
除了星期四 那时性感小豹的囚笼之夜 Except on Thursdays, when it's cage night at the Lusty Leopard,
再说了 那笼子是纸板做的 but that's a cardboard cage,
而且我想什么时候出来就什么时候出来 and I can get out of it any time I want.
你可以 You can?
好吧 感谢你毁掉了我的囚笼之夜 Wow, thanks for ruining cage night.
别闹了 奎恩 不 - Come on, Quinn. - No.
我不会 求别说 I wouldn't... Nope.
不要 Don't.
我觉得我要仔细考虑考虑了 I think I have some thinking to do.
我 I...
斯丁森先生 Mr. Stinson?
这是不是说我不用丢工作了 Does this mean I get to keep my job?
是的 赫姆 你可以留下 Yeah, Herm, you can stay.
嗨 宝贝 听着 Hey, baby, listen.
我 我抱歉我有点失控了 I'm-I'm sorry I flipped out.
噢 没事儿 Oh, that's okay.
公平点儿说 可能我是有点 To be fair, maybe I'm at fault
溺爱我们的孩子了 for loving our child too much,
虽说为人父母就是这个含义 所以 although that is the definition of parenting, so...
好吧 挺会说话的 All right, good make up.
嘿 我说 我在网上 Hey, listen, I went online,
发现了这个生娃训练营项目 and I found this Baby Boot Camp thing
这个周末他们在帕拉默斯的一个酒店搞这个 that they're doing at a hotel in Paramus this weekend.
生娃训练营 Baby Boot Camp?
听上去棒极了 That sounds great.
对 要两天功夫 Yeah, it's a two-day event...
我们去 We're going.
那儿还有研讨会和课堂 ...and there's lots of seminars and classes.
你已经说服我了 You've already made the sale.
总而言之 我给咱俩登了记 Anyway, I signed us up.
听都不用听了 思想上整装待发 Not even listening anymore; mentally packing.
我正在琢磨走哪条路去帕拉默斯 I'm trying to figure out the best way to get to Paramus
才不用遭遇任何收费站 without hitting any tolls.
这个简直太棒了 This is gonna be great.
我以后再也不会 And that was the last time
和一个留小胡子的人约会了 I'll ever go out with a guy with a mustache.
这很好 This is good.
这很妙 不用再想着那个人 This is nice, not thinking about you-know-who.
好好开心一下 Just having a good time
并且感谢上帝我这次没留小胡子 and thanking God I didn't grow that mustache.
你这个人 And you,
你好有礼貌哦 you're so polite.
我的前未婚夫 韦恩 他只会装蒜 My ex-fiancé, Wayne, he had no manners.
韦恩 只会装蒜 Wayne had no manners.
韦恩 装蒜 Wayne... manners...
韦恩 庄园 布鲁斯·韦恩的家 Wayne Manor, home of Bruce Wayne,
也就是蝙蝠侠 better known as Batman,
他抚养并教导了孤儿迪克·格雷森 mentor to Dick Grayson, his orphan ward
后者在夜晚会披上彩色的战袍 who at night would don the colorful vestments
成为神奇男孩儿 也就是 of the Boy Wonder, aka...
罗宾 Robin.
你可真是迂回啊 泰德 Holy long walk for a short drink of water, Ted.
你省省吧 Stop this.
我要你真真切切地离开我的生活 I need you out of my life for real.
你这话不是真心的 我就是真心的 - You don't mean that. - Yes, I do.
你根本不是 No, you don't.
看看现在多少事儿都在变 Look how much is changing right now.
马修和莉莉马上会有个孩子 Marshall and Lily are having a baby.
巴尼和一个女孩儿在同居 Barney's shacking up with a girl.
你的整个世界已经 With your whole world
上下颠倒 turning upside down,
难道你不该紧紧抓住像我们之间 isn't a friendship like this one
拥有的这种友谊吗 something you want to hold on to as tightly as possible?
而且我每次看着你的时候 心都在痛 And every time I look at you, it hurts.
这就是我唯一的一次女同经历 ...and that's the story of my only lesbian experience.
我真抱歉 I'm sorry
讲了那么多的细节 for going into so much detail.
我再也不说这个故事了 I'll never tell that story again.
那个 你吃的怎么样 Anyway, how's your meal?
对了 郝莉 我大概应该告诉你 Holly, listen, I should probably tell you,
嗯 我其实正在试着对一个人忘情 um, I'm kind of getting over someone right now.
你能这么说我太高兴了 I am so glad you said that.
我觉得我也还正在试图忘情韦恩 I guess I'm still getting over Wayne.
真的是很难受 It's been really hard.
想不想来些果子露 Can I interest you in some sorbet?
二位看上去可以用些爽口甜点 You two look like you could both use a palate cleanser.
palate cleanser也有一夜情的意思
你的口爽不爽了 泰德 How's your palate, Ted?
蛮爽的 Pretty cleansed.
那个 在研讨会的时候 You know, at this seminar,
肯定会有那么个人 好比 there's gonna be the one guy who's, like,
育婴大拿 老是打断别人 Mr. Parenting Expert, keeps interrupting the speakers
说他自己那些"重要常识" with his own "Important facts."
我们还说不定坐在他边上 And you're gonna be sitting right next to him,
所以准备好吧 so get ready for that.
宝贝 你最近很缺觉啊 Baby, you've been a little sleep deprived lately.
还是让我开车吧 Why don't you let me drive?
你别说 还真是个不坏的主意 You know what, that's not such a bad idea.
我是说啊 最糟的事就是 I mean, the last thing we want
我还没等扶着方向盘呢就 is for me to get behind the wheel and just...
哦 宝贝 你闻上去真香 Oh, baby, you smell good.
等我们到了那个旅馆 When we get to that hotel,
我再也不离开你的圆肚肚了 I'm gonna wear your pregnant belly like a hat.
你要先给我买上 You'll have to buy me
几杯鸡尾酒才行 a couple of cocktails first.
巴 巴尼 Bar-Barney!
我们在哪儿 Where are we?
大西洋城啊 宝贝(著名歌曲里的歌词) Atlantic City, baby!
其实吧 还有14英里 Well, in 14 miles.
到底他娘的怎么回事 What the hell is going on?
莉莉跑哪儿去了 And where is Lily?
而且你对假想宝宝做了什么 And what did you do to the practice baby?
而且 还有剩的吗 And is there any left?
莉莉很担心你 Lily was worried about you.
她觉得你需要放松点 所以 She thought you needed to unwind, so...
我是说啊 最糟的事就是 I mean, the last thing we want is for me to
我还没等扶着方向盘呢就 get behind the wheel and just...
她帮我预定了两间豪华套房 She made reservations for two deluxe rooms,
按摩服务还有帕姆餐厅的晚餐 massages, and dinner at the Palm,
我给她做了曲奇饼作为回报 and in return, I made her cookies.
这么说 并没有帕拿马斯沃尔道夫的生娃训练营 So, there's no Baby Boot Camp at the Paramus Waldorf?
甚至连帕拉默斯沃道夫都不见得有 Is there even a Paramus Waldorf?
瓜兄弟啊 Bro...
我现在很生莉莉的气 I am so mad at Lily right now.
她已经料到了 所以她给你带了这个 She knew you would be; that's why she packed this.
哦 Aw.
我的 生莉莉的气 汗衫 My mad-at-Lily shirt.
这是我为自己和高中女友 I had this made for me
斯黛芙做的 and my high school girlfriend, Steph.
事实上 "马修和斯黛芙一生一世" In reality, "Marshall and Steph 4-eva"
变成了 turned out to be
"马修和斯黛芙两天散伙" "Marshall and Steph for two days
因为斯黛芙的男朋友提前一个星期从少管所放出来了 until Steph's boyfriend got out of juvie a week early."
我一穿它莉莉就抓狂 Drives Lily crazy when I wear it.
希望我不在的时候她痛不欲生 I hope she's miserable without me.
嘿 泰德 怎么样 Hey, Ted, how's tricks?
还不错啊 卢 Tricks are pretty good, Lou.
前几天遇到点感情问题 不过呢 呃 Had some girl trouble earlier in the week, but, uh,
我觉得从今往后 事情会变 I got a feeling from here on out, things are gonna be A...
哦 我了个去 O-Oh, you son of a bitch.
你好啊 Hello.
莉莉说得对 Lily's right.
我做得有点过了 I've been acting crazy.
不 没关系 哥们儿 No, it's okay, bro.
我是说 是的 你是表现得有点夸张 I mean, yeah, you've been a little crazy,
但那是因为爱啊 but it comes from love.
这和一个人为了不让他的 It's the same kind of crazy that makes a man
脱衣舞女女朋友继续在别的男人膝上蹭来蹭去 offer his stripper girlfriend over half a million dollars
而把五十多万刀政府紧急援助金给她 of government bailout money,
是一样一样的 not to rub up on other guys' junk.
这是好事 It's good crazy.
-我希望莉莉没事 -好吧 I hope Lily's okay. Okay,
就这么定了 哥们儿 you know, that's it, bro.
我们都关机一个小时 We're both turning off our phones for one hour.
动议被否决 Motion denied.
算了 只能如此了 Okay, you leave me no choice.
你给我一个小时"哥们儿同关机"时间 you give me one hour of phone-free bro time,
在此期间我们 其实我是说你 during which we, and by we I mean you,
喝得烂醉如泥 get magnificently, mythologically drunk.
醉到别人需要看字幕才能听懂你说话的程度 I'm talking needing-subtitles- when-you-speak drunk.
如果你做到了 If you can give me that,
我就戴上这个 I will wear this.
鸭子领带 The ducky tie?
我以为你已经把那玩意儿丢了 I thought you threw that thing away.
是丢了 I did.
它又爬回来了 It came back.
好 巴尼 All right, Barney,
就这么定了 you got yourself a deal.
呃 这位女士 Um, excuse me, miss.
呃 方便的话 Um, when you get a chance,
请拿一百杯龙舌兰过来好吗 could you bring over a hundred shots of tequila, please?
我也一样 I'll have the same.
为什么你还在这里 Why are you still here?
你自己觉得呢 Why do you think I'm still here?
我想那是因为我爱你 I guess because I'm in love with you.
否则我怎么看谁都像你 Why else would I be seeing your face everywhere I look?
因为你心情不爽 Because you feel bad.
我当然不爽了 Of course I feel bad.
我告诉过你 我爱你 I told you I love you,
显然 谁会愿意放低身价对人告白啊 which is apparently the worst thing you can say to someone.
你可不是因为这个才不爽的 That's not why you feel bad.
你不爽是因为 You feel bad because after you said it,
刚告白完 你就放我走了 you let me go away.
我知道我们的关系 I know our relationship
跟你想要的不完全一样 isn't exactly what you want it to be,
我也知道 我们爱对方的方式 and I know I may not love you
可能不同 可我真的爱你 the way you love me, but I do love you.
难道这样还不值得我们紧握彼此么 Isn't that worth hanging on to?
我想你 I miss you.
那就去接我回来吧 So go get me back.
罗宾 Robin?
泰德 Ted.
能实实在在看到你真好 It's good to really see you.
额能看到你实在好啊 It's really good to see you.
我觉得我们得谈谈 Look, I think we need to talk.
我同意 但现在不合适吧 Uh, me, too, but now's not a good time.
为啥啊 Why not?
哥们 我为你骄傲 I am proud of you, bro.
关机一小时 You turned off your phone for one hour,
喝成这德行 and you got so drunk...
喝得现在我说话都得外加字幕了
可不 Exactly.
嘿 巴尼 Hey,.
恩 马修 Yes, Marshall?
我们现在能开机了么
恩 完全可以啊 Well, I don't see why not.
哇哦 我有17个语音消息 Whoa! I've got 17 new voicemails.
巴尼 我是莉莉 Barney, it's Lily.
你们现在得赶回纽约 You guys need to get back to New York right away.
我要生了 I'm in labor.
万岁 All hail Beercules!
耶 Yeah!
行 巴尼 记住你说过的话 All right, Barney, you got yourself a deal.
嗨 我是马修 Hey, you've reached Marshall.
请留言 Please leave a message.
嗨亲爱的 是我 Hey, baby, it's me.
我觉得我要生了 I think I'm labor.
我们应该每周末都来一次啊 We should do this every weekend.
这次是真的啊 Okay, this is real.
不是狼来了 It's not a false alarm.
是真的 我要生了 This is real; I'm in labor.
我弱弱的希望你能给我回电话 I kind of need you to call me back now.
别看这小妞身材娇小 How does somebody so little
手指头还挺有劲啊 have such strong fingers?
给我回电话 Call me!
他是帕拉默斯沃道夫的经理 He is the manager of the Paramus Waldorf.
你要是来帕拉默斯 我们会好好招待你的 You come to Paramus, we will hook you up.
如果你用这招报复我 If you're trying to get back at me,
那你真是粗鲁又没谱啊 you have chosen a wildly inappropriate way of doing so!
哦也 哦也 Oh, yeah... Oh, yeah.