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鮑裏斯（Boris）
禽獸鮑裏斯有探監的 Well, well, Boris the Animal has a visitor.
40年頭一個可以放行 I guess one every 40 years is okay.
只是塊蛋糕 It's a cake.
是什麼我說了才算 I decide what it is.
看起來像蛋糕 Looks like some kind of cake.
沒有異常，不是說沒衣裳哦，你懂的... She's clean. Well, not clean, but you know...
噢，天吶 Oh, God.
禽獸鮑裏斯 Boris the Animal...
有人來看你了 you've got a visitor.
是「鮑裏斯」 BORIS: It's just Boris.
你的信對我來說就是 Your letters have been soul-nourishing
心靈雞湯 tonic.
你本人可比 And you are much more
照片上帥多了 unconventionally handsome than your photos.
這可不是夫妻探監 GUARD: This ain't a conjugal visit.
別親了 So quit your conjugating...
你上次親熱是什麼時候？ When's the last time you conjugated anything?
親愛的，看到你帶的禮物了 I see you've brought me a treat, darling.
你能幫我們切開它嗎？ 今天是個特殊的日子 Would you mind cutting this up for us? It's a special day.
我很浪漫的 I'm a romantic like that.
要是我就不會這麼做 Oh, I wouldn't do that.
為什麼？ Why's mm.
會廢了你的手指 It'll ruin your figure.
你讓我完美無缺 You complete me.
大傢伙 The big one.
鮑裏斯！你答應帶我一起走的！ MAN: Boris! You promised to take me with you!
我們說好的！ We had a deal!
奧巴代亞·普賴斯 Obadiah Price.
是，我是答應你了 Yes. I did make you a promise.
等等，感覺不太對 BORIS: Wait. I smell something.
- 你無路可逃，鮑裏斯 - 是麼 GUARD: You can't win, Boris. BORIS: Mm.
咱們走著瞧 Let's agree to disagree.
我們人數多 There's too many of us.
這裏太熱了，介意開窗通風嗎？ Rather hot in here. Mind if I open a window?
對不起，親愛的，蛋糕確實不錯 Sorry, darling. We did love the cake.
讓我們重寫歷史，好嗎，K探員？ Let's rewrite history, shall we, K?
下午好 Good afternoon.
請大家注意看我的搭檔，J探員 Please give your attention to my associate, Agent J.
他會給大家示範一下 He's going to demonstrate an electro-biomechanical,
電子生物神經傳送零復位裝置 neural-transmitting, zero-synapse repositioner.
我們叫它記憶消除器 We call it the neuralyzer.
- 簡單點，滑頭 - 多謝 Keep it simple, slick. Thanks a lot.
感謝J探員 Thank you, Agent K.
女士們，先生們，如果你們看這裏 Uh, ladies and gentlemen, if you will look right here.
就會知道你們是如何登上飛機的 並且空姐讓你們關手機 You know how you're on a plane and you're asked to turn your phone off?
你們卻想「為什麼要關，也沒破壞飛機」 You're like, 'I ain't turning it off. Has nothing to do with a plane.'.
看見沒，結果就是這樣 Well, this is what we get. That's what happens.
飛機竄到衛星那兒把它轟了下來！ It gets up there, bounces around on the satellites and blam!
關掉手機不就沒這事了 Just turm your damn phone off.
今晚你們開車要掉下懸崖了 因為沒GPS信號 Now you're gonna drive off a cliff tonight because your GPS don't work.
查查燃料和表層堆積物的成分 Check the composition of the fuel units and surface deposits.
我想知道誰在駕駛 I wanna know who was driving.
是的，長官 Yes, sir.
今晚想說什麼？ 別擔心 What are you gonna say tonight? Ah, don't worry.
能不擔心嗎，這很重要 No, I'm very worried. This is important.
- 我餓了，你呢？ I'm hungry. You hungry? K. - K
說真的，我不認為那是肉 J: Seriously, I'm not even sure that's meat.
我想我看到了裏面有 牙齒、爪子、蹄子什麼的 I think I just saw a tooth in that thing, or a claw, or a hoof.
謝謝，曼尼 Thanks, Manny.
這根本不是皮塔餅（希臘小吃類似肉夾饃） 應該是棺材餅 That does not belong in a pita, it belongs in a casket.
能不能少說兩句 What would go good with this would be silence.
看吶，這就是問題所在 See, here's the problem.
你聞不到 You can't smell it
因為你鼻子不好使，我的卻不一樣 because your nose already smells like that, but my nose doesn't.
沉默是金，你應該試著慢點說話 Silence goes good with lot of things. Ever try or is talking how you breathe?
煩我就直說，別等回車裏鬱悶 Just say you hate me. Don't take it out on the car.
吃完再說 Let me enjoy this.
那就吃吧 Whoa, enjoyment. Ha, ha.
看你表情就知道，我喜歡這情緒 So that's what enjoyment looks like on that face. I like that emotion.
情緒和這無關 I keep emotion out of it.
和什麼無關，生活嗎？ Out of what, K? Life?
你就不想讓我幫你一把？ You don't wanna run it by me?
- 讓我看看你想說什麼？ - 別擔心 Let me know what you'll say? Don't worry.
喔，不，我擔心，非常擔心 Oh, no, I'm worried. Very worried.
這可是悼詞，你必須要富有情感 It's the man's eulogy. You have to show some feeling.
才能讓人們感動 That thing people do when they change their facial expression?
我和澤德共事40年了，他很出色 I worked with Zed for 40 years. A hell of an agent.
為了他我會寫下出色的悼詞 And I have written a hell of a speech for him.
大家會感動的 People will be moved.
嗯哼 Mm-hm.
奇異恩典 （《Amazing grace》） ALIENS: Amazing grace
惶惑而今 Was blind but now
得見 I see
現在由K探員獻上幾句 MAN: And now a few words from Agent K.
我和澤德共事40年 I worked with Zed for over 40 years, and in all that time
他從來不邀請我吃晚餐 he never invited me to dinner.
也從來沒邀請過我去他家看球賽 He never asked me to his house to watch a game.
從來不分享他個人生活的任何事 He never shared a single detail of his personal life.
是啊，他很古怪 Yeah, he was weird.
謝謝 Thank you.
現在由新上任的領導O探員發言 MAN: And now we will hear from our new chief, Agent O.
謝謝K探員，太感人了 O: Thank you, Agent K. That was very moving.
- 這就是你的悼詞？ - 他是個好人 That was your eulogy? He was a good man.
女士們，先生們及外星朋友們 O: Ladies, gentlemen, other life forms.
當我把澤德去世的消息告訴 一位齊格羅星人時 When I told the Finucian Zyglot about Zed's passing,
她說了一些話，接下來我會重複一遍 she said something that I'm going to repeat.
並釋義 And I'm paraphrasing.
這就是澤德 That's just so Zed.
謝謝 Thank you.
（《I』m An Old Cowhand》）
呀喝！ Yippee-yi-yo-ki-yay
呀喝！我是個老牛仔 Yippee-yi-yo-ki-yay I'm an old cowhand
有什麼不對勁嗎？老兄 You lose something over here, Hondo?
你能對我保證嗎，如果我先死了 你在葬禮上的悼詞一定要比這次好？ Can you promise, if I go first, you'll do better than that at my funeral?
比如： You know, something like, uh..
J是我的朋友 J was a friend.
對我如此重要的人卻離我而去 Now there's a big part of me that's gone.
噢，J，有些事還沒來得及告訴你 Oh, J, all the things that I should have said,
我是個老頭 except I was too old
脾氣壞，傲慢 and craggy and surly
並且頑固 and just tight. I was too
很頑固 tight.
我很想念你性感黝黑的皮膚 I'm gonna just miss your caramel-brown skin.'
我會現場發揮的 I'll wing something.
K，我是O，我們接到報案 K, it's O. We have reports of several humans suffering from
有人類感染了外星蛔蟲 intestinal worms of alien origin.
謝謝,O Thank you, O.
你怎麼變成這樣了？ How did you get to be like you?
出什麼事了，K，發生什麼了？ Something happened, K. What happened?
你知道我沒什麼不開心的 You know how I live such a happy life?
沒什麼不開心的？ How you live such a happy life?
我不該知道的從來不問 I don't ask questions I don't want to know the answer to.
真深奧 Mm-mm. That's deep.
當一切已注定 And that's when it happens
當你和媽媽一起生活 When you live with your mother
帶她回家，媽媽會說「嗯哼」 Try to take her home And Mom goes 'Mm-mm'
傑弗裏 Jeffrey.
我認識你嗎？ Do I know you?
你很有能力，你父親奧巴代亞告訴我的 Your services are legendary, so said your father, Obadiah.
你應該在月球監獄 You were in Lunar-Max.
沒有我逃不出的監獄 There is no prison that can hold me.
額…真不賴，你想要什麼，夥計？ Uh... Cool for you. What do you need from me, man?
那個裝置 The device.
我要盡快回到過去殺個人 在他奪走我手臂之前 I'm going back in time to kill a man before he takes my arm.
噢，K探員，J探員！ Oh, K, J!
見到你們很高興，這邊請 So happy to see you. Uh, Mr. Wu get you your regular table?
不餓嗎？ You no hungry?
給我們看看水箱 Show us the tanks, Wu.
當然，當然可以，你看看，很新鮮 Oh, sure, sure. You look. Very fresh.
讓我們看看後廚的水箱 Show us the tanks in the back.
抱歉，聽不懂你們說的，晚點再來，好嗎？ Ha, ha. So sorry. No speak English. You come back later, okay?
把這些屁話留給外地人吧 Save the chop-socky bullshit for the tourists, Wu.
你們到底想幹什麼？ Hey, what you guys wanna bust my balls for, huh?
你沒權知道 You don't have no balls.
喔 Ooh.
夥計，看起來你來自行星 Man, you look like you come from the planet.
該死 Damn.
鮑勃明顯違反了第32條衛生條例 And Bob here is a clear violation of Health Ordinance 32:
販賣未經許可的外星 Selling unlicensed extraterrestrial...
食品 foodstuffs.
那是地球上的魚類 That is an Earth fish.
這在中國很常見，你要逮捕我的話 Very traditional in China. You arrest me,
就是種族歧視！ that's a hate crime!
是啊 It would be
如果你是中國人的話 if you were Chinese.
K，拜託，我還要撫養幼蟲 K, come on. I got larvae to feed.
這尖刺魚是為誰準備的？ Who is the Spiky Bulba fol?
沒有誰 Nobody.
為誰準備的？ K:Who's it for?
我養著它而已！ I keep them in case!
- 說不說？ - 我不知道 In case what? I don't know!
任何人！ Anybody!
好吧，你個臭蟲 K: All right, you slug.
喔，喔，額... Whoa, whoa. Uh...
吳 Wu,
我和他之間有點問題，但不應該拿你出氣 uh, he and I are having issues right now, but you shouldn't suffer for that.
謝謝，J Thank you, J.
如果不想被魚扇耳光，得遵守協議 So if you don't like getting fish-slapped, keep to our agreement.
地球人吃地球魚，真正的地球魚類 Earth people get Earth fish. Real Earth fish.
為了我這個可憐的人和沒用的孩子 請您留下來吧 On behalf of my pathetic self and worthless children,you stay.
能夠獻上您最喜歡的麵條我不勝榮幸 好嗎,K？ Allow me most honorable benefit of serving you favourite noodles, K?
沒人想吃你那噁心的麵條 Don't nobody want your nasty-ass noodles.
你就是一坨屎，吳 You're a piece of shit, Wu.
放點蝦和白菜一起做 Shrimp and bok choy.
咱倆還得在這呆會 We're gonna be here for a while.
真是的 J: That was just mean.
你在後廚都幹了些什麼 What you did to Wu back there.
扒掉他的圍裙 Snatched his skirt off.
這太無禮了 That's just disrespectful.
以前我常和我爸玩個遊戲 I used to play a game with my dad:
你的最後一餐會吃什麼 What'll You Have For Your Last Meal.
你可以做得比這更糟 You could do worse than this.
噢，好吧，額… On. Okay. Um...
我和老爸玩的遊戲 I played a game with my dad
叫做「接球」 called catch.
我把球扔出去，它只會打到牆上 Except I'd throw the ball and it'd just hit the wall
因為我沒父親 because he wasn't there.
別說你老子壞話 Don't badmouth your old man.
不是說他壞話 我只是真的不知道他是什麼樣 I'm not badmouthing him. I just didn't really know him.
這不對 It's not right.
什麼對不對的，孩子需要父親 Damn right it's not. A boy needs a father.
一號桌還沒點餐 Table one hasn't ordered a thing. Table three
三號桌已經喝四杯 just drank his fourth cup
鴨醬了 of duck sauce.
K，今天墜落的飛船 O: K, the crashed ship
是從 from this morning was stolen from...
月球監獄 K: Lunar-Max.
禽獸鮑裏斯 Boris the Animal.
你怎麼知道？ How did you know?
他一向愛吃尖刺魚 He has a taste for Spiky Bulba.
給我們點時間，長官 Give us a minute, chief.
有麻煩了 We're in a situation.
是啊 K: Oh, yeah.
我對付Chloropod I take the Chloropod.
你對付Tarantabee You take the Tarantabee
和那邊的Hydronian and the Hydronian over there.
然後我會搞定廚房裏的 I'll take the kitchen.
到街上會合 Meet you on the street.
在我一生中 This is a very confusing time
這可真夠亂套的 in my life.
嘿 Unh! Hey.
噓，噓！ Shh, shh!
嘴閉上，頭低下 Keep your mouth closed, keep your head down.
嘿呀！ Hi-yah!
惡！ Ugh!
哈嘍，K Hello, K.
禽獸鮑裏斯 Boris the Animal.
是「鮑裏斯」 It's just Boris.
你沒怎麼變，還是一條胳膊 You haven't changed very much. I see the arm I shot off is still shot off.
是啊，我的胳膊 Yes, my arm.
在過去的40年中 We've thought about that moment
我無時無刻不在回想斷臂的瞬間 every day for the last 40 years.
你這輩子也就這樣了 Well, that's just not living a full life.
我敢保證我會活得比你長 I can promise you it will be longer than yours.
如果你是最後一個伯格羅多星人 一樣會感到孤獨 Lonelier too. Since you're the last Boglodite standing.
走著瞧 We'll see about that.
但是首先，很高興可以親手殺了你 But first, I want the pleasure of killing you.
唷，K Yo, K.
- 你跑哪去了？ - 捕魚 Where the hell have you been? Fishing.
你還不知道，K，其實你已經死了 You don't know it, K, but you're already dead.
你沒事吧？ You all right?
請大家往我這邊看好嗎？ May I have everyone's attention, please?
謝謝 Thank you.
你們知道孩子從集市弄了一袋金魚 You know how your kid won the goldfish in that little baggie
你們不想在家養它 from the fair and you didn't want it in your house
所以就騙孩子說金魚跑了 然後就你們以為把它衝進馬桶便沒事了？ so you told your kid it ran away when you flushed it down the toilet?
好吧，這就是你們幹的 Well, this is what happens.
如何？看到了嗎？別對孩子撒謊 Okay? See what I'm talking about? Don't lie in your kids.
夥計，這些事我可干夠了 Man, I am getting too old for this.
可以想像你是什麼感覺 I can only imagine how you feel.
禽獸鮑裏斯 Boris the Animal.
很久前我把它送到監獄 這是我犯過的最大錯誤 I put him away a long time ago. It's the worst mistake I ever made.
為什麼？他是無辜的嗎？ Why? Was he innocent?
應該殺了他 Should have killed him.
- 該死，咱們去幹掉他吧 - 不 Well, shit, let's go get him. No.
- 不？ - 別管他 No? Leave it alone.
這不是你的職責 It's above your pay grade.
咱倆職責一樣 We have the same pay grade.
這與你無關，管好自己就行了 It has nothing to do with you Mind your own business.
好吧，首先，別總對我說教 Okay, first of all, let's get a little bit of that bass out your voice.
其次，只要那禽獸胡作非為，我就得管 Secondly, as long as Spikey Boy is running around, this is my business.
如果你管這事我就向上級匯報 You forget about Boris or my report will reflect
你行為不端 that your conduct has been unbecoming.
好啊，也許我也可以對你這麼做，K Well, maybe my report is gonna reflect some shit too, K.
- 你被停職兩周 - 胡說 You are suspended for two weeks. Bullshit.
四周 Four weeks.
我退出怎麼樣？ How about I quit?
有些事你沒必要知道 K: There are things out there you don't need to know.
你雇我時可不是這麼說的 That's not the lie you told me when you recruited me.
還好嗎，大爺 What up. Pops?
還好，搭檔沒來啊 Yeah Lose your partner?
距離穿梭至阿法尊巴星球 Next shuttle to Afazumba
還有22分鐘 leaving in 22 minutes.
搜索 J: Search
禽獸鮑裏斯 Boris the Animal.
禽獸鮑裏斯，伯格羅多星球刺客 COMPUTERIZED VOICE: Boris the Animal, Boglodite assassin.
伯格羅多星人是很兇猛的外星種族 Boglodites were a rogue alien race
所到之處片甲不留 that consumed all planets in their path.
地球上的外星人謀殺案中 Boris the Animal was the only suspect
唯一的嫌疑犯就是禽獸鮑裏斯 in a series of alien murders on Earth.
案件報告 Incident report.
禽獸鮑裏斯在接下來的謀殺案中被判有罪 Boris the Animal was convicted
時間1969年7月15日 for the following murders that occurred on July 15, 1969.
謀殺罪名一： 康尼島，上午10:37，預言家羅曼 Murder number one: Coney Island, 10:37 a.m. Roman the Fabulist.
謀殺罪名二：工廠 Murder number two: The Factory.
精確搜索 Refine search.
K探員 Agent K.
1969年7月16日 Junior Agent K apprehended and arrested.
在佛羅里達州卡納維拉爾角 K探員逮捕了禽獸鮑裏斯 Boris the Animal on July 16, 1969, at Cape Canaveral, Florida.
- 卡納維拉爾角 Cape Canaveral. Agent K
K探員的英勇事跡獲得了很高讚揚 received the highest commendation for heroic action,
包括建立 including implementation
天穹網防禦系統 of the Arc Net Defense System
保護地球免遭伯格羅多星人入侵 which protected the Earth from Boglodite invasion
最終人類勝利 and led to the race's extinction..
細節 Details.
訪問受限 Access restricted.
對不起，清除高級探員權限 換為最高級別的J探員權限 Excuse me? Clearance level senior agent, class one. J.
拒絕訪問 Access denied.
什麼？ What?
你怎麼突然對你搭檔的 陳年舊事感興趣了？ So why this sudden interest in your partner's old exploits? Hm?
鮑裏斯和K之間發生過什麼？ What happened between Boris and K?
很簡單 That's easy.
K囚禁了鮑裏斯，他建造了天穹網 K imprisoned Boris. He put up the Arc Net.
他從伯格羅多星人手裏拯救了地球 He protected the Earth from the Boglodites.
他完成了他的使命 He did his job.
這可不是我要問的 That's not what I'm asking.
卡納維拉爾角，發生什麼了？ Cape Canaveral, what happened?
有些事改變了他 Something that changed him.
別談這些了 Leave it at that.
所以你倆是老相識了，對嗎？ Hm. So you two go way back, huh?
這是機密 That's classified.
奉勸一句，J探員 A word of advice, Agent J.
不該知道的就別問 Don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to.
有意思，K也是這麼說的 That's funny. That is exactly what K said.
他是個聰明人 He's a very wise man.
晚上好好休息 Take the rest of the night off.
怎麼？ What?
我想我欠你一些答案，夥計 Guess I owe you some answers, hoss.
啥？你咋突然想說這些呢？ What, you're feeling chatty all of a sudden?
現在不行，我在工作呢 I can't talk right now. I've got secret cases of my own I'm working on.
真不想拆穿你在玩遊戲 I hate to tear you away from your video game.
好吧，我要掛了 All right. I'm hanging up.
知道宇宙中最具破壞性的力量是什麼嗎？ You know the most destructive force in the universe?
毒品？ Sugar?
很遺憾 Regret.
別繞了，直說吧 You don't have to wait. Just talk.
我向你保證過這秘密不能說，僅此而已 I promised you the secrets of the universe. Nothing more.
還有什麼秘密我不能知道？ So there's secrets out there the universe don't know about?
媽咪 GIRL: Mommy.
需要幫忙嗎？ Can I help you?
額… Uh...
K呢？ K?
5K嗎？（房間號） 5K.
額… Uh...
對不起，那是巧克力牛奶嗎？ I'm sorry, is that chocolate milk?
我能…？對不起，我不知道怎麼了… Can I-? I'm so sorry. I don't know what...
媽咪，奧巴馬搶我的 GIRL: Mommy, the president is drinking
- 牛奶喝 - 嗯 my milk. Mmm.
對不起 I'm sorry.
他還沒問我同不同意呢 He didn't say please.
- K來了嗎？ - 誰？ K get in yet? Who?
你新來的？ You new?
真有意思，J探員 Very funny. Agent J.
J，昨天你跟我說的那些，真是及時雨啊 J, everything you told me yesterday, you were right rain.
- 感謝上帝給了這10小時的監視 - 你是誰？ Thank God for that 10-hour stakeout Who are you?
沒錯，今天我覺得自己煥然一新 Exactly. I feel like a whole new man today.
進步很快，之前總是對身邊的一切感到不滿 Like this great weight has been lifted. I've had anger issues my entire life,
但現在只對自己和繼母不滿 but now I see I was mad at myself. And my stepmom.
先生，別說了好嗎 Sir, I'm gonna need you to stop talking.
這就像我關閉了情感之窗 It's like I closed this emotional window.
但又打破了它 But I threw a brick through that window.
多謝你的引導，J Thank you for handing me that brick, J.
不管你是誰，離我遠點 否則我扯下你的喉嚨 Whoever you are, give me five feet or I'll pluck you in your throat.
好吧，我得去黑衣人那了 I'm gonna go to the little Men's-in-Black room,
然後去找博伊希拉星球的蠢貨 午飯我請 then we'll go find those morons from Pox Elhera. Lunch is on me.
那是誰？ Who was that?
扇你屁股那位？你搭檔 Double A? Your partner.
你給我拿杯巧克力牛奶，好嗎？ Uh, I need you to go get me some chocolate milk, all right?
大杯的，你看到K了嗎？ Just a really big glass. Have you seen K?
他請病假了還是怎麼了？ Did he call in sick or anything?
誰是K？ Who's K?
好吧，好吧，跟我扯吧 All right, allright, go ahead, go ahead.
K！你在哪？ K!
好吧 All right.
你贏了 You got me.
不得不說，很有趣，煞費苦心啊 I'll give it to you. It's funny, very elaborate.
你們大家，演得真不錯 Oh, and all of you, fantastic performances.
都14年了才知道你們這麼幽默 You waited 14 years to develop a sense of humor,
這個很不錯 but this is a good one.
K，現在你得出來了 But, K, I need you to come out here now
因為我已經有點不太高興了 because I'm starting to get a little pissed off.
J探員，介意小點聲說話嗎 Agent J, would you mind keeping your voice down
你想找誰？ and telling me who you're looking for?
我在找K I'm looking for K.
誰是K？ Who is K?
你也給我扯？扯吧 Unh! You too? You too.
我是問，他到底誰是？ I mean, who is he to you?
我搭檔 MY partner.
110歲的老頭子 Older gentleman, 110,
也許111了 maybe 111 years old.
有點傲慢，像貓王一樣，他是這麼笑的 Sort of a surly, Elvis thing happening with him. He smiles like this.
看見過嗎？ Seen him around?
我帶你去見他 I'll take you to K.
謝謝 Thank you.
- 這是什麼？ - 是K What is that supposed to be? That's K.
他已經去世40多年了 He's been dead for over 40 years.
好吧，看得出來 如果這是笑話的話確實很有趣 Okay, see, the prerequisite for a joke is that it be funny.
沒開玩笑 It's never been funny.
電腦，K探員和禽獸鮑裏斯 Computer, Agent K and Boris the Animal.
黑衣人事件報告，1969年7月 COMPUTERIZED VOICE: Men in Black incident report; July, 1969.
地點：卡納維拉爾角 Location, Cape Canaveral.
罪犯禽獸鮑裏斯逃往地球 Perpetrator Boris the Animal escaped and fled Earth.
假設返回伯格羅多星球需20光年 Assumed to have returned to planet Boglodotia 20 light-years away.
K探員在這次事件中宣告死亡 對於他拯救人類的英勇行為 Agent K pronounced dead at scene. Awarded posthumous commendation
當局予以表彰 for action which prevented greater loss of human life. Life.
這不可能 That's not what happened.
我看過這篇報告 K把鮑裏斯囚禁起來 I looked at this report. K put Boris away...
- K探員已經死了 - 昨晚我還跟他通話來著 Agent K is dead Well, I just talked to him last night.
- 都是你在想像而已 - 才不是 You are imagining. I'm not.
- 我需要心理醫生到這來 - 好的，女士 I need a psych team up here. Yes, ma'am.
他用Aqua Velva須後水，這不是想像 Aqua Velva aftershave. I didn't imagine that.
每次監視行動，連續幾小時都是牛仔音樂 Every stakeout, endless hours of cowboy music.
每天早上喝咖啡，他總是說 Every morning with his coffee, he'd say:
「我告訴你，滑頭 這咖啡味道可不怎麼樣」 "I tell you something, slick. This coffee tastes like dirt."
然後我說「什麼樣才和你口味？ And I was supposed to say, 'What do you expect?
這可是早上現磨的咖啡」 It was ground this morning.' 'This morning.'.
你怎麼知道的？ How do you know that?
巧克力牛奶，先生？ Chocolate milk, sir?
你去哪了，夥計？ 這都一小時了 Where you been, man? It was like an hour ago.
等下 O: Wait.
你喜歡巧克力乳製品多久了？ How long have you been craving chocolatized dairy products?
今天才開始 J: Just today.
有頭痛，頭暈 Are you experiencing headaches? Dizziness?
- 失去平衡 - 嗯哼 Loss of balance? Mm-hm.
煩躁，抑鬱的感覺嗎？ Agitation? Depression?
是啊，有 Hell, yeah.
兩種可能，一種是你被 Two possibilities. One is you've been bitten
哈瓦星球的腦蜱蟲咬了 by a Hovartian brain tick
隨時都可能痛苦掙扎的死去 and could die in horrible agony at any moment.
該死，不是蜱蟲 Damn it. It's not the tick.
該死，不是蜱蟲？ 'Damn it, it's not the tick'?
比蜱蟲還糟？ It's something worse than the tick?
嗯 Mm.
你對巧克力牛奶的癡迷表明 Your obsession with chocolate milk indicates
你可能參與過某個短時間的時空穿梭 that you might be involved in some sort of temporal fracture.
我不明白你在說什麼 I don't know what you're talking about.
巧克力牛奶可以去除因時空穿梭導致的頭痛 Chocolate milk relieves temporal-fracture headaches.
時空穿梭是什麼？ What's a temporal fracture?
穿越到任意時間點 A break in the timeline.
還是不明白你的意思 Don't know what you mean.
時間旅行！時間旅行 Time travel! Time travel.
根本不存在時間旅行 There's no such thing as time travel.
- 這個可以有 - 這個真沒有 Well, there is. No.
沒有 There's not.
因為如果有的話 Because if there were
像我這類頂級探員 class-one senior agent such myself
應該有權知道，難道他不是嗎？ would have been aware of it, wouldn't he have?
這根本不是機密，只是他越權辦事 Were it not classified and way above his pay grade.
你知道我想要什麼 You know, I need a raise.
有個卑鄙的傢伙 奧巴代亞·普賴斯 There was one man, scumbag, Obadiah Price,
他發明的，我們開除了他 穿越宇宙這技術對我們來說是違法的 he figured it out, we busted him, we made time travel illegal
他被判終生監禁在月球監獄 throughout the universe and he is serving life on Lunar-Max.
鮑裏斯也關在那 No- That's where Boris was locked up.
如果鮑裏斯知道如何穿越時空 Uh- If Boris worked out how to time jump,
他一定會改寫歷史 he could seriously change the course of history.
注意，預警系統顯示 COMPUTERIZED VOICE: Attention. Early-warning system engaged.
敵方戰艦已進入太陽系 Inbound hostile warships entering solar system.
檢測到伯格羅多種族信息 Boglodite markings and language detected.
伯格羅多，鮑裏斯是伯格羅多星人 但他們已經滅絕了 Boglodite. Boris is a Boglodite, but they're extinct.
顯然沒有 Apparently not.
地球即將遭受災難性打擊 Catastrophic Earth attack imminent.
啟用天穹網 Put up the Arc Net.
- 什麼？ - 天穹網，防禦系統 The what? The Arc Net. The defense system.
K發明的，為了防止伯格羅多星人入侵 K got it for the Boglodites.
K早就不在了 There is no K.
他已經去世40多年了 He's been dead for over 40 years.
他不在就沒有防禦系統 No K. No defense system
鮑裏斯回到過去殺了他 Boris jumped back and killed him.
如果你想拯救世界，從一開始就要阻止他 If you wanna save the world, stop that from happening.
你去找傑弗裏·普賴斯 他是奧巴代亞的兒子 You have to find Jeffrey Price. He's Obadiah's son.
希望這小子能幫上忙 Let's hope the little squirt hasn't skipped town.
- 祝你好運，J！ - 這是地球的臨別祝詞，哈哈哈 ALIEN 1: Good luck, J! ALIEN 2: This planet's toast. Ha-ha-ha.
需要點什麼？我這電池 How can I help you? We're having an amazing sale
賣的很不錯 on batteries.
哇哦，好吧，我還有別的東西 耳機，充電器什麼的 Whoa. Okay, we got other stuff, like headphones, adapters or...
你幫助禽獸鮑裏斯時空穿梭 You helped Boris the Animal time jump.
是，我必須得做，那傢伙是個怪物 Whoa, whoa. Okay, I had to. That dude's a freak.
他殺了我搭檔 He killed my partner.
我想知道他傳送的時間地點 I want to know when and where you sent him.
我會告訴你全記在本子裏了嗎？ What, you think I keep, like, a logbook?
哈 Huh.
目標方位，1969年7月16日 J: Target vector, July 16,
好吧 1969. All right.
你朋友真是個無賴 That's a real bummer about your buddy.
我知道他很棒 I'm sure he was a great guy.
但根據時間連續體來說 But in terms of the space-time continuum,
你朋友在歷史上簡直不值一提 your friend was a little blip on the historical radar!
哦 Oh.
出大麻煩了 That's a big blip.
- 好吧，我該怎麼辦？ - 你把我送回 Okay. What's the plan? You're gonna send me
1969年7月15日 back to July 15th, 1969.
不，這不對，因為我把鮑裏斯送到7月16日 No, that's a stupid plan, because I sent Boris to July 16th.
這不是我擔心的 我要在鮑裏斯現身前 I'm not worried about that one. I'll kill the younger Boris
殺了年輕時的他 before the older one shows.
那樣的話，他們兩個都得消失 That way, neither of them will even exist.
這就是你為什麼穿黑制服 That's why you get to wear the black suit.
不是嗎？ No?
咱倆不撞一下嗎？好吧 You're gonna leave me hanging? Okay.
喔，我想起來了 Oh, I just thought of something Even back then,
那年代紐約又大又亂 New York was like a big-ish city.
你打算怎麼找到他？ So how are you gonna really find him?
7月15日，鮑裏斯在康尼島殺了一名 叫做預言家羅曼的外星人 On July 15th, Boris killed an alien, Roman the Fabulist, at Coney Island.
你準備先到那等他出現？ You're gonna get there first and be waiting?
夥計，他們應該給你兩套黑制服 Dude, they should give you two black suits.
老弟，能認真點嗎？ My man, for real?
好吧 On, right.
對不起 Sorry. Um...
這才是 This...
真傢伙，時空穿梭裝置 is the real deal. Time-jump gear.
非常稀有，有年頭了 Very rare, very old.
但首先，咱們得「嗨」一下 But first, we gotta get high.
嘿，不 Hey. No.
不是，我是說到很高的地方 （high有多重意思） No. No, I mean, really high.
嘿，夥計，拉我一把？ JEFFREY: Unh! Hey, man? A little help here?
謝謝 Unh. Thank you.
好的 Okay...
- 知道時空穿梭的規則嗎？ - 長話短說 You know the rules of time jumps? Give me the short version.
想救你搭檔，建議： Okay. You wanna save your partner, word of advice:
離他遠點 Shy away from him.
記住了嗎，離K遠點，殺了鮑裏斯就行 Yeah, got it. Slay away from K. Just kill Boris.
現在，拿上這個 Now, take these.
掉下去時會獲得足夠的風速 It gets pretty windy on the way down.
掉下去？ The way down?
如果你哭的話，就看不到刻度盤了 With eyes tearing up, it's hard to read the dial.
再說，他使你看起來更像時間旅行者 這酷斃了 Plus, it helps you look like a real time traveler, which is cool.
我才不要從這跳下去！ I am not jumping off of this building!
不跳就沒戲 Time jump...
好了，現在 Okay, now,
我設置一下 I gotta set this thing
到15日 to the 15th.
好像 （1969年7月15日上午10:29） Uh, that seems
沒錯 right-ish.
現在 Now
就差你一跳了 all you gotta do is jump.
嘿，別，別拍我 Hey. Hey. Slop. Sup it.
當你下落速度足夠快時 When you're moving fast enough,
圓圈內會充滿綠色液體 that circle is gonna fill up with some sort of green time-travel liquid
發出奪目的亮光 and it's gonna glow really bright.
然後你盡快用拇指劃過藍色激光線 As soon as that happens, break that blue laser line
來完成這次旅行 with your thumb to complete the circuit.
這個高度，應該是… At this height, that should be, uh...
我算算，地球質量和每分鐘30英尺左右 Let's see, mass of Earth and 30-something feet per minute...
每秒32英尺，每秒！ It's 32 feet per second, per second!
你說得對 That sounds right-ish.
我想應該是…，大約離地面兩英尺 So that would be, I guess, uh, about two feet off the ground.
劃過激光線嗎？ I break the laser line?
不，別碰它！ No, don't break it!
- 那什麼時候才算快！ - 聽起來不錯 No, when I'm fast enough! Sounds good!
劃過激光線到底有沒有用？ Do I break the laser line or do I not break the laser line?
別把這設備弄丟了 Do not lose that time device
否則你就得一直呆在1969年了！ or you will be stuck in 1969!
對你來說可不是什麼好時候 It wasn't the best time for your people.
只是說說，讓你冷靜一下 I'm just saying. It's, like, a lot cooler now.
我怎麼知道這是否有用？ How will I know if it works?
非生 You'll either
即死 or you won't.
你一定很喜歡這傢伙才會這麼做 You must really love this guy to do this.
等等，為什麼只有我記得K？ 其他人都忘了 Oh, wait. How come I remember K, but nobody else does?
哇哦！ Whoa! Whoa.
- 那說明當時你在那 - 在哪？ That means you were there! I was where?
如果你活著回來，一定跟我好好講講 If you survive, you gotta come back and tell me everything.
在哪？ Where was I?
你得跳了！ You gotta go!
快跳，快！ Just go, go, go!
哦，不！ Oh, no!
快啊！ Come on!
愛 （《Love Is Strange 》） Love
愛是陌生的 Love is strange
當你離開我 When you leave me
- 老兄，今天星期幾 - 星期三 My man, what's today? Tuesday.
- 幾號？ - 15號 The date? The 15th.
- 哪月？ - 7月 Of? July.
- 年份呢 - 1969年 Dog, the year. 1969.
謝謝 Thank you.
我不會以為我瘋了吧 Look at me like I'm crazy.
太棒了 MAN 1: Far out.
你不會相信的 傑瑞在嬉皮士的地盤嗨翻了 Jerry rocked Haight-Ashbury like you wouldn't believe.
好的，我們到了 MAN: Okay, we're here.
- 高興嗎？ - 你真令人討厭，佛瑞德 Happy'? WOMAN: You're such a pill, Fred.
- 去辦入住手續 - 知道了 FRED: Get us checked in. WOMAN: Yeah, yeah.
嘿，幫個忙，好嗎？ Hey. Hey, do me a favour, all right?
- 拿行李時小心點 - 一定會的，先生 Be careful with the luggage. Absolutely, sir.
這行李箱貴著呢 FRED: I paid a lot of money for that luggage.
- 我們會照看好的 - 還有別磨壞了 BELLBOY: We'll take good care- FRED: Last time, it got scuffed up.
給你，先生 如果需要服務就叫我 Here you go, sir. Just call down when you need it.
後備箱還有行李 There's more in the trunk.
知道了，會安排妥當的，先生。請進去吧 Uh, yeah, it'll be in your room, sir. Just go in.
對不起，打擾一下，那是誰？ BELLBOY: Excuse me. Excuse me, who is that?
你是誰？ Who are you?
14號航班，你現在 （《2000 Light Years From Home》） Bell Flight 14, you now
可以著陸 Can land
快走啊！ Let's go!
綠色沙地是你的藏身之所 Safe on the green desert sand
不過這裏渺無人煙 It's so very lonely
離開家鄉 You're 2000 light-years
2000光年 From home
不錯啊，夥計！ Far out, man!
如果你再這樣我就不客氣了 If you want to keep that, I wouldn't.
笑一個別生氣 Make love, not war.
不用你告訴我該怎麼做 I prefer to do both
警官，你好嗎？ 我能為你做點什麼？ How are you, officers? What can I do you fol?
看吶，電動車窗和密封條 Well, look at this. Power windows, power seals
我打賭這車得6千美元 I'll bet you it cost 6 grand. Yeah.
是啊，這車還有個隱藏式頂棚 Uh, yes, and it has a roof, but it's hidden.
嘿，你是做什麼的？ Hey, what kind of work do you do?
像你這種膚色的人 An individual of your
能買得起這種車嗎？ particular ethnic persuasion?
- 嗯 - 沒準是個有名的運動員 Mm... COP: Maybe he's a noted athlete.
嗯 Mm.
是啊，我是底特律黑人隊的前鋒 Yes. Uh... Starling forward for the Detroit Darkies.
車和制服哪來的？ Where'd you get the car? And the suit?
從你們那偷的，車是你老婆的 I stole them both. Uh, car from your wife,
制服是你奶奶的 suit from your grandmother.
嘿 Hey.
這是什麼？武器嗎？ What do we have here? Concealed weapon?
嘿，這可是他奶奶的制服 Hey, it's his grandmother's suit.
- 嘿，這是什麼？ - 可能是毒品 Hey, what's this? Probably drugs.
在你們按旁邊的按鈕前 I have rights and I demand to see my lawyer
我有權見我的律師 before you press that small button on the side firmly.
按一下試試 Press it.
先生們，這就是記憶消除器的功能 That, gentlemen, is a standard-issue neuralyzer.
你們不會記得了 You're not gonna remember that.
因為當你們看見一個黑人開著豪車 And just because you see a black man driving a nice car
並不意味著就是偷的 does not mean it's stolen.
這輛是偷的，但不是因為我是黑人 I stole that one. But not because I'm black.
這車我還得用一會 I'll be done with the car in a minute!
你們找到後還給羅斯福酒店那個蠢貨 Just find it and take it back to the jerk at the Roosevelt Hotel.
阿查南星人在哪？ Where is the Archanan?
你太晚了 MAN: You are too late.
他已經把天穹網 He is going to give the humans
交給人類了 the Arc Net.
咱們走著瞧 Let's agree to disagree.
這事我們負責 We'll take it from here.
K，是你嗎？ K?
K！真是你 K! K! Aah!
爸，我在地球呢 ALIEN: Dad, I'm on Earth.
來保釋我 I need bail.
藍色變形飛船的主人 Will the owner of a blue warp-speed cruiser
請到前台報道 please report to the front desk.
你應該把那該死的東西電量調低點 You need to turn the electricity down on that damn thing.
我舌頭都麻了，K Can't taste my fricking tongue, K.
你怎麼知道我名字？ How do you know my name?
什麼？因為我叫你K？ What? Because I called you 'K'?
不，我管每個人都叫K No, I call everybody K.
我就這樣 It's kind of my thing.
是吧，K？ What up, K?
好吧，有點… All right, I sort of...
我就是這樣子，只是… 有人喜歡這樣 Yeah, that's kind of my thing. I just- Uh, some people like it.
很多人 Most people.
現在我知道你撒謊的時候 Now that I know what you look like
是什麼樣了，時候讓我看看 when you're lying, show me
你說實話的樣子吧？ what you look like when you're telling the truth?
這些是我在康尼島玩套圈贏的 I won those at Coney Island on the ring toss.
曾經我贏過一隻玩具熊 這些東西倒是沒見過 I won a stuffed bear once, but never one of these.
你技術一定很不錯，滑頭 Must be good, slick.
好吧，先生，能贏到什麼這是我的事 All right, sir, I was minding my own business.
我在等我朋友，順便說下 I was waiting for my girl, who, by the way.
我不見了她現在一定擔心得要命 Is probably worried sick looking for me right now.
所以我得拿回我的東西回去見她 So I just need my things and I need to get back to her.
她叫什麼？ What's her name?
什麼？ Huh?
你女朋友，她叫什麼？ Your gal, what's her name?
史特瑞恩 Schtaron.
史特瑞恩？ Schtaron?
我打賭史特瑞恩就是你的制服，對吧？ I bet Schtaron likes that suit of yours. Hm?
什麼，穿黑制服犯法嗎？ What, it's a crime to wear a black suit?
好吧，聽著，我沒做錯什麼 All right, listen. I haven't done anything wrong.
我要離開這，不想和你再談了 And I need to get out of here. I cannot be here with you.
非常抱歉，因為康尼島的事X快崩潰了 Terribly sorry. X is frightfully upset about the whole Coney Island incident.
多謝提醒 Thanks for the heads-up.
哦，夥計，這咖啡味道可不怎麼樣 Oh, man, this coffee tastes like dirt.
- 什麼樣才和你口味？這可是 - 早上現磨的咖啡 What do you expect? It was- J: Just ground this morning.
你是O？ O?
不，我稱女士為O No, I call ladies "O."
對我來說，O是女性，K是男性 To me, O is feminine, K is masculine.
這就好比我喜歡的詞「O-K」 You know, I see a couple, I'm like, "O-K."
一團糟，有傷亡報告嗎？ What a mess. Any casualties?
是的，預言家羅曼 Yes, Roman the Fabulist.
人類有傷亡嗎？ Any human casualties?
沒有，先生 No, sir.
這傢伙是誰？ Who the hell is this?
我是… Look, I was...
- 一個迷路的 - 送到43號房間，沒事就放他走 Stray human caught in the net. Code 43 him and throw him back.
您該去參加 與維格安星人的會議了 You're late for a meeting with the Viagrans.
他們發明了一種革命性的新藥物 They have a revolutionary new pill.
真的是… It's really...
好了，滑頭 Okay, slick.
我在等我的女友 I was waiting for my girl.
史特瑞恩 Schtaron.
沒錯，希臘人 Yes, she's Greek.
好吧，最後一件事，眼科檢查 Okay. Just one last thing. An eye exam..
這根本不是眼科檢查，K 這是他媽的大號記憶消除器 That's not an eye exam, K. That's a big-ass neuralyzer!
你看著傻呼呼的，知道的還不少 You have a lot of information for a fella who doesn't know anything.
我都明白 J: I see what you're saying.
哇哦，你知道的,K 咱等會行嗎 Whoa. You know, K, we need to hold up a second.
K！ K!
先戴上牙套 TECHNICIAN: Let's get this bile guard in here.
滾開，滾開 Hey. Back up. Back up.
K,聽著，咱們不該以這種方式開頭，對嗎？ K, listen, I think we got off on the wrong foot, all right?
咱們停下來談談吧 So let's just stop for a second and talk.
別讓我進去，K！ Don't put me in here, K!
太晚了，種馬 Too late, hoss.
K，不，聽我說 我能幫你擺脫困境！ K, no, listen to me. I can help you with this case!
K！ K!
這次是說真的！看我表情就知道了！ I'm doing the truth face! You're missing it!
我想像一下就行了 Ah, I'll just use my imagination.
K,你在找的殺手 J: K, the killer
我也在找他，是伯格羅多星人 you're looking for, I'm after the same guy. A Boglodite.
他叫鮑裏斯 His name is Boris.
設備已啟動，朋友 Ship has sailed, amigo.
如果咱們抓不到他，就會有兩個他 J: If we don't get him, there'll be two.
我沒騙你 You had my undivided attention.
一個有一隻胳膊 J: One will have one arm
一個有兩隻胳膊 and one's gonna have two. Kl.
聽我說！ Listen to me!
如果你毀掉我的記憶 If you erase me.
就等於毀掉世界！ You erase the world!
還有15秒 COMPUTERIZED VOICE: Fifteen seconds
執行記憶刪除程序，14秒 to neuralyzation. Fourteen.
13秒，12秒 Thirteen. Twelve.
11秒，10秒，9秒 Eleven. Ten. Nine.
當你明天看到鮑裏斯時，殺了他 別抓他，直接殺了他！ When you see Boris tomorrow, K, kill him. Do not arrest him, kill him!
4秒，3秒，2秒 Four. Three. Two.
這東西關了嗎？還沒完全關閉吧？ Is this thing off? Hey, I don't think it's all the way off, K!
還在嗡嗡響呢 It's whirring and buzzing.
我是不是什麼都不知道了 I don't know if I don't know nothing
我認識羅曼 I knew Roman.
曾經吃過他妻子做的晚餐 雖然味道不怎麼樣 His wife cooked me dinner once. While it was not pleasant,
但他是我朋友 he was my friend.
最後一次機會，你是誰你想幹什麼？ Last chance, who are you and what do you know?
我是來自未來的MIB探員 I'm an agent at Men In Black
咱們倆是搭檔 from I'm from the future. We're partners.
25年後你會雇我 In 25 years, you'll recruit me,
再等14年，今天你阻止我要殺的那傢伙 and 14 years after that, the guy you didn't let me kill today
從監獄裏逃出來，回到過去 Escapes from prison, jumps to the past
並且開始時入侵地球 我們還有19小時可以殺了他 and unleashes an invasion of Earth. We got about 19 hours to kill him,
所以咱們現在就得行動 so, really, we need to go right now.
好吧 All right.
所以你相信我說的故事了 So that's the story you believe.
我相信是真的 That one was the truth.
雖然不一定都是真的 但可以滿足目前需要 Wasn't the whole truth, but it'll do for now.
你以為呢？當然都是真的 What are you talking about? Of course it's the whole truth.
咱們之間唯一的謊言就是你曾經… The problem with a lie is once you start lying you put yourself...
K探員 X: Agent K.
他還在這幹什麼？ What's he still doing here?
我審了他很久，該讓他回去了 I might have cooked him too long. Thought I'd walk him out.
咱倆是好基友 I put my pants on.
未來之人，咱去哪？ Okay, future man, where to?
我不知道 I don't know.
什麼意思？ What do you mean?
我不知道，去你最後到的地方？ I don't know. Uh... Go wherever you went last time.
難道我沒告訴你我要去哪嗎？ I haven't been here. I didn't tell you where I went?
沒，我是說，咱倆根本就沒怎麼談過 No. I mean, we don't really talk.
什麼樣的搭檔才能 相處14年都沒怎麼說過話 What kind of partners sit in a car every day for 14 years and don't talk?
沒錯，這就是問題所在 Exactly. And this is the type of problem it causes.
這可不好 It's dysfunctional.
好吧，你最好現在就能證明自己的能力 否則就給我回43號房間裏呆著 All right, sport, you better get useful real quick or you go back in room 43.
夥計… Man...
額… Uh- The, uh...
還有個什麼關於工廠的 There was something in the file about a factory.
在工廠有事發生 Something happened at a factory.
老兄，你怎麼瞪我都沒用 Hey, look, man, you can put your Jedi Knight on me all you want.
這就是我知道的 That's all I got.
提醒你什麼了？ That spark something?
羅曼死的時候身上帶著這個 Roman had this on his person when he was murdered.
一個紙板火柴 J: It's a matchbook.
不，這是線索 No, it's a clue.
他不抽煙 He didn't smoke.
呀喝 （《I』m An Old Cowhand》） Yippee-yi-yo-ki-yay
呀喝 Yippee-yi-yo-ki-yay
我是個老牛仔 I'm an old cowhand
來自格蘭德河 From the Rio Grande
我在牛仔樂隊中唱著這首歌 And I sing this song In the cowboy band
我熟知所有牛仔之歌 I know all the songs That the cowboys know about
有什麼不對勁嗎？老兄 You lose something over here, Hondo?
沒有 No. Uh...
你多大了？ Hey, man, how old are you?
呀喝！他是個老牛仔 Yippee-yi-yo-ki-yay He's an old cowhand
29歲 Twenty-nine.
長得夠著急的 Oof. You got some city miles on you.
貌似我知道為啥咱倆沒話說了 I'm starting to understand why we don't talk.
（宇宙保齡球館） what
- 你怎麼知道這地方？ - 名氣大 How well do you know this place? I know its reputation.
我不喜歡盲目做事，我需要我的槍 I don't like it. I hate going in blind. I'm gonna need my gun.
可以，滑頭 Sure thing, slick.
K，等等，別，我得和你一起去！ Whoa, K! Wait, no, I gotta go in with you!
你別動就好，我去搞定 You sit tight. I'll be fine.
等等，別！別去！ Wait, no! No!
K！ K!
K，別自己去！ K, don't go in by yourself!
嗨，夥計們 Hi, fellas.
見你們老闆 Need to see the boss.
他忙著呢 He's busy.
哼 Hm.
好吧，那我隨便逛逛 Well, I'm gonna just lake a look around.
貌似打個平手 Looks like we have ourselves a standoff.
應該是 Looks that way.
- 還把鑰匙放煙灰缸底下 - 算你走運 Still keep the key under the ashtray. Lucky guess.
這是什麼地方？ Now, where were we?
把我頭擰下來也不會告訴你們 I was about to tell you to screw off,
滑頭，保齡球玩的如何？ Hey, slick, you bowl in the future?
連續3年MIB聯賽冠軍 MiB league champ, three years running.
好吧，讓我瞧瞧 Well, let's see it.
你不能就這麼大搖大擺的進來 Unh! You did not walk into my.
擰下我的頭！ Establishment and rip my head off!
夥計，你時日不多了，跟他說實話吧 My man, we don't have a lot of time. You really need to tell him something.
說個屌！ I'll 'tell him 'this!
好吧，你選的 All right, your head.
等等，嘿，如果你這麼干 我不會放過你的 MAN: Wait. Hey, if you do this, I am gonna hunt you down
肯定讓你 and make sure you
一輩子 walk funny for the rest
吃不了兜著走 of your miserable last days on Earth! Unh!
- 看你剩這兩個，滑頭 - 上帝！ Tough spare, slick. God!
你們惹錯人了！ MAN: You messed with the wrong head!
他頭有點… His head's a little... K: You gonna tell us
快說他在哪 where Dom is?
我要殺了你們，你們倆死定了！ MAN: I'll kill you both. I'll kill both of youse!
- 喔！ - 嗷！ Ooh! Ow!
球上有汗水太滑了吧 用我幫你清理下嗎？ Your hook's a little off. Want me to clean her?
- 好啊 - 別，別，別 Sure thing. MAN: No, no, no.
拜託，早上我用這個洗過頭了 Come on, I just cleaned the bathroom with this thing!
別洗了！別洗了！ No cleaning! No cleaning!
行了！行了！夠了，他在後面 Okay! Okay, all right! All right, he's in the back.
但他不會和你這種黑衣人渣談的 But he's not gonna talk to any Men in Black scum like you.
現在把我頭放回去 Now give me back my head.
K，我管這叫「勝利在望」 K, I call this one 'Low Hanging Fruit.'.
這可不是手指孔 MAN: That ain't a finger hole,
你個王八蛋！嗷！ you sick bastard! Ow!
我會以其人之道 I'll pop your head off
還治其人之身 and see how you like it.
噢！ Ooh!
我要殺了你們！ MAN: I'm gonna kill both of you!
你們死定了！ I'm gonna kill the both of youse!
我會殺了你們的 I'll kill you both.
咱們來對地方了，就是時機不適合 Well, we're on the right track. Just the wrong train.
如果他有什麼秘密 K: If he had any secrets,
估計已經招了 I'm guessing he spilled them.
聰明人會多謀善斷 A smart man figures out what victims have in common.
沒錯 A smart man would.
那是大哥大嗎 That's a big-ass phone.
- 這東西輻射可不小 - O探員 Don't put that up to your head. Agent O.
今天進展如何，K探員？ How's your day been, Agent K?
馬馬虎虎 Oh, fair to middling.
你怎麼樣？ How are things going?
還不錯，謝謝 O: Very good, thank you.
一小時前你們不見過面嗎 Hey, you saw her like an hour ago.
我在宇宙保齡球館 派人來清理隔離現場 I need cleanup and containment at Cosmic Lanes.
我這有一個帕萊先星人受害者 Listen, I got a dead Parlaxian.
如果沒猜錯的話，羅曼是巴沃爾德星人 Now Roman was a Byvoid, correct me if I'm wrong,
這兩個星球屬同一星系，都是三角星座裏的 from the same planetary grouping? A system in the Triangulum Galaxy
並且都讓伯格羅多星人佔領了 wiped out by Boglodites.
第三個星球呢？ Wasn't the third planet-?
- Glamouria星球？ - Glamouria星球 （真實存在的《魅力》雜誌美國版） K & J: Glamouria? Glamouria.
謝謝，O小姐 Thank you, Miss O.
我知道鮑裏斯接下來會去哪 I know where Boris is headed to next.
你說得沒錯，滑頭 不過不是工廠，是時尚派對 You were close, slick. It's not a factory, it's the Factory.
如果鮑裏斯來著，我會殺了他的 Look, if Boris turns out to be here, I'm gonna kill him.
- 把槍給我 - 沒門 I need my gun. No deal.
我做了14年探員 I've been an agent for 14 years.
作為高級探員經驗比你豐富 現在我不想擺架子 Which means I'm the senior agent on this case. Now, I hate to pull rank,
但我必須要求你這個初級探員 but I am instructing my junior agent,
把槍還給我，馬上！這是命令 that's you, to give me my gun right now. That's an order.
不，不，不，太空槍 No, no, no, space gun.
不客氣 You're welcome.
我沒說謝謝 I didn't say thank you.
這麼難看的物種，來地球幹什麼 For such an ungainly species, they've thrived on Earth.
當了3年探員 I was an agent for three years
才知道所有模特都是外星人 before I realized all models were aliens.
算是歷盡艱險 Found out the hard way.
口令? Password?
60年代的時髦小伙 咱可沒時間跟你耗著 Hey, look, funky '60s dude, we don't have a lot of time.
詹尼斯·喬普林 Janis Joplin.
當我仰望天空 （《Pictures Of Matchstick Men》） When I look up to the sky
看到你的眼睛 I see your eyes
奇異的黃色 A funny kind of yellow
這裏全是外星人吧？ ls there anybody here who's not an alien?
跑回家躺在床上 懷疑是否腦子進水了 I rush home to bed I soak my head
真不錯 Very nice.
眨眼，太好了 Blink. That's good.
往攝像機這邊看 Look in the camera.
那是安迪·沃霍爾？ （20世紀藝術界知名人士） Is that Andy Warhol?
是他 Yep.
打擾一下，沃霍爾先生，有時間嗎？ Excuse me, Mr. Warhol, could we have a minute?
現在可不是時候，我這忙著呢 Now is not a good time. This is a be-in.
有幾個 K: Just a few
問題想問你 questions.
我不會回答的 No questions. No answers.
我還有事 Just being.
我們有急事要跟你談下 We have an urgent matter we would like to discuss with you
關於這次派對上的一個客人 regarding one of your party guests.
為什麼你們不下周再來 Why don't you come back
等事情 next week, after the happening
結束的時候 has happened.
抱歉，沃霍爾先生 你語速太慢，時間不等人 Sorry, Mr. Warhol. You like talking slow. We got stuff to do.
我還得拯救地球呢 I've got a planet to save.
你真無禮 WARHOL: You're distressing. Everything
令我很不舒服 about you upsets me Unh! Unh!
該死，K！你想讓我暴露身份嗎？ Damn it, K! Are you trying to blow my cover?
W探員，沒事的 Agent W, your cover is safe.
安迪·沃霍爾是自己人？ Whoa, Andy Warhol is one of us?
沒事？ WARHOL: Safe?
你瘋了嗎？我都沒招了 You out of your mind? I'm so out of ideas
只能畫畫罐頭和香蕉 I'm painting cans and bananas for chrissakas.
實際上，沃霍爾先生 我得告訴你我喜歡你的工作 Actually, Mr. Warhol, I gotta tell you, I love your work.
謝謝 Oh. Oh, thank you.
那蠢驢是誰？ Who's the dumb-ass?
噢，等下，能不能禮貌一點？ Whoa. Hey. How about a little professional courtesy here?
- 什麼，蠢驢嗎？ - 你敢再說一遍 What, dumb-ass? Say it again.
- 你想聽？ - 我打賭你不敢 Want me to? I dare you.
蠢驢 Dumb-ass.
- 兩位特工 - 和安迪·沃霍爾相比 Agents. I have no problem
你就是一坨屎 pimp-slapping the shiznit out of Andy Warhol.
什麼？ What?
看我幹什麼？ Why are you looking at me?
好吧，你知道嗎？K探員 Oh, all right. You know what? Agent K,
你跟W探員慢慢嘮吧 you see what information you can get from Agent W
我到外面看看 and I'll go case the perimeter.
- 這樣行了吧？ - 幹你的活去吧 That work for everybody? Go do that.
- 這個如何？ - 小屁孩 How about that? Oh, cub.
- 滿意了 - 很好 Okay. Very nice.
某人不覺得自己很幼稚嗎？ Someone forget his nap? Huh?
火柴男的海市蜃樓和你 Mirages of matchstick men and you
他們永遠在我眼前 All I ever see is them
嘿，你好嗎？ Hey, how you doing?
不好 Chilling.
你和這傢伙在一起 你的謊言讓他傷心欲絕 You're with this guy You make men cry, you lie
那傢伙是誰？ WARHOL: Who's that guy?
別告訴我他是你的新搭檔 Don't tell me he's your new partner.
實際上他是我的老搭檔，他來自未來… Actually, he's my old partner. He traveled back from the future...
停，別說了，我不想知道 Stop, don't tell me. I don't want to know.
安迪，洋子來了 WOMAN: Andy, Yoko's here.
洋子來了，額… Yoko's here. Uh- Ahem.
告訴她我在為這人拍吃漢堡的戲 Tell her that I'm filming this man eating a hamburger. Um...
這棒極了 It's transcendent.
好吧，該換泡菜了 Uh, all right, now the pickle.
我在等屬於我的人 I'm waiting for my man
你在我地盤幹什麼？ What are you doing on my turf?
追蹤一個殺手，伯格羅多星人 Tracking a killer. Boglodite.
我們認為他會來這找一個格羅莫尼亞星人 We believe he's gonna hit here next, a Glamourian.
格羅莫尼亞？星系沒錯，但星球不對 Glamourian? Right solar system, wrong planet.
他的目標是Archanan He's gotta be after the Archanan.
Archanan已經滅絕了 Archanans are extinct.
顯然沒有，上周海灘出現一個 Apparently not. Ono washed ashore last week.
整個羅斯威爾都在議論這事 （著名外星人現身地點） The whole Roswell circuits all abuzz about it.
其實他們還有最後一人 Alien unicorn. Last of its species.
他叫格裏芬 His name's Griffin Mm.
阿查南星人，格裏芬 WARHOL: Griffin the Archanan.
我在等屬於我的人 I'm waiting for my man
還好嗎？ How's it going?
還好嗎？這個我說了不算，就我個人來講，還不錯 Going? How's it going? That depends. For me, personally, things are good.
除非一會 Unless we're in the future
那肌肉男和他女友吵架 where the muscle boy argues with his girlfriend.
她氣沖沖離開，恰巧撞到了端蘑菇的人 She storms off and bumps the guy with the stuffed mushrooms,
托盤倒在水兵身上 who dumps the tray on the sailors .
一番推搡後 A shoving maths breaks out.
水兵撞到了桌子，若是這樣，我得拿走我的盤子 They crash into the table. In which case, I gotta move my plate.
過會我吃完這牛肉三明治 Or it's the future where the pastrami sandwich I'm eating
會導致胃腸不適 causes me gastric distress.
還好你朋友把右口袋裏的胃藥給了我 Thankfully, your friend offers the antacids he carries
然後我就好了，沒事了 in his right pocket, so good. I'll be good.
除了一會我必須 Except in the future where I have to leave in two minutes
在他給我胃藥前離開 before he has a chance to offer me the antacids,
總的來說，我並不好 so on the whole, I'd have to say not good. I am not good.
但不是我能決定的 But that depends.
K！快來 K!
我們怎麼才能找到他？ How will we find this guy?
你以為我是什麼，蠢貨嗎？ What am I, schmuck?
他在這？ He's here?
「在這」只是一個相對概念 他是五維空間的生物 'Here' is a relative term. He's a fifth dimensional being.
他可能在時空的任一點上 They can live in and visualize an infinite set
同時出現 of time-space probabilities simultaneously.
聽起來很厲害，做得好 Sounds like fun. Good work.
等下，K，K，K Whoa, whoa. K, K, K.
你得假裝我死了，好嗎？ You gotta fake my death, okay?
我再也受不了這種臥底生活了 I can't listen to sitar music any more.
好吧，我盡力，我會和X說的 All right, I'll see what I can do I'll talk to X.
K，我真的受夠了 K, I can't tell the women from the men.
幾點了？ May I see your watch?
現在是7:18 Oh, it is 7:18.
不，是另一隻懷表，你父親給你的 No, no, your other watch, the one your father gave you.
你怎麼知道我爸的懷表？ How do you know about my father's watch?
陌生的啤酒 Strange brew
哎呀 Oh, dear.
這就是羅曼 This is the one where Roman is dead
和保齡館的人被殺時在旁邊的表 充滿了死亡氣息 and the gentleman at the bowling alley. So much death.
幾乎沒什麼勝算 Such an infinitesimally small chance for success.
K快來！ K!
格裏芬？ Griffin, right?
我們在這… We're here...
因為鮑裏斯 Because of Boris.
我們認為他會… We think he's coming...
來殺我，他幾分鐘就到 To kill me. He'll be here in minutes
除非 unless we're in
一路綠燈他能早到 the future where he made the lights
他會 and is about
從大門進來 to shoot from the door,
不一會咱們就全掛了 in which case we're all dead.
那是比較靠譜的 Ah, good, that was close one.
K，我需要太空槍 K, I need a space gun.
伯格羅多星人 GRIFFIN: The Boglodiltes
走一路殺一路 consume any planet in their path.
我的星球，羅曼的星球，帕萊先星球 Mine, Roman's, the Parlaxians'.
我設法阻止他們，但如果我們可以在這阻止他 讓他們地球在地球全軍覆沒 I tried to stop them, but if we stop them here, if we deny them Earth,
他們就完了 we can stop them. They'll starve before
再也不會禍害其它星球了 they reach the next planet.
還有63秒 Pfft. Sixty-three seconds.
我們怎麼做才能組織他們？ How do we do that? Stop them?
什麼？ What? Oh!
抱歉，我給你點東西 Sorry. I have something for you.
一份禮物，可以保護你 A gift. It can protect you
因為鮑裏斯要來了我得把它藏起來 如果你還能找到我 I had to hide it from Boris, but if you find me again,
我會把它給你 I'll give it to you.
謝謝，多棒的球賽！難以置信！真是奇跡！ Thank you. What a game! Amazing! It's a real miracle!
等下，你說什麼？什麼奇跡？ Whoa. What do you mean? What miracle?
還有30秒，我得走了 Thirty seconds. I have to go.
不，我們可以保護你 No, we got you.
我們說話時死亡可能性就在增加 Negative possibilities are multiplying as we speak.
還有20秒 Okay. Twenty seconds.
好吧 All right.
我們應付，放鬆點 We got it, relax.
如果你的表壞了，我有胃痛… If your watch is broken and I have gastric...
飛啊！看看這個世界！ MAN: Fly! Find your place in the world!
喔，哎呀 GRIFFIN: Oh, dear.
鮑裏斯要從大門進來了 Boris is coming through that door
12秒 in 12.
11秒，10秒… 11,10...
等等！ Wait!
你喝巧克力牛奶了？ Did you have chocolate milk?
什麼？喝了 What-? Yes.
辛迪 GRIFFIN: Cindy.
K！ K!
抓住格裏芬！ Got him Griffin!
該死！ Damn it!
哎呦！ Ouch!
我沒事，我沒事 I'm good, I'm good.
格裏芬呢？ What you got?
跑了
該死！都抓住他了 Damn it! We had him!
放鬆，科奇斯，他跑不了 Relax, Cochise. We'll find him.
首先，我叫J，明白嗎？ First of all, my name is J, okay?
不是什麼孩子，滑頭 更不是什麼「酋長」 （亞利桑那州著名印第安酋長「科奇斯」） It's not 'son, ' it's not 'slick' and it damn sure ain't no 'Cochise.'
我緊張以為咱們沒多少時間了 I'm not gonna relax because we're running out of time
入侵就快開始了 and there's an invasion coming.
難道你真沒感覺到 我的聲音有多緊張嗎 You're not really recognizing my voicial intensity.
但有一個人可以幫我們 Oh, but there was one guy who could help.
格裏芬，格裏芬，他人呢？ Hey, Griffin Griffin Where's Griffin?
格裏芬，哪去了，K？ Griffin. Where's Griffin at, K?
他不見了，如果鮑裏斯在我們之前抓到他 可就沒什麼希望了 He's gone. If Boris gets to him before we do, that's no bueno.
我們需要吃點派 We need pie.
- 什麼？ - 我爺爺一直說： What? My granddaddy always said:
如果有解決不了的問題 'If you got a problem you can't solve,
這時候吃點派會有幫助的 it helps to get out of your head.' Pie. It's good.
- 派？ - 是啊 Pie? Yeah.
你爺爺體格很棒吧？ Your granddaddy, heavyset man?
- 還行 - 你知道嗎？ A little bit. Yeah, you know what?
咱們一直做得不錯 We've been doing smart stuff.
總是順著線索辦好案子 We've been following clues, doing police work.
可能也有做錯事的時候 It might be time we do something stupid.
雖然一事無成，但我們盡力了 Something that ain't got nothing to do with nothing.
現在我也想吃派,K 太想吃派了 Now, I want some pie, K. I want some pie.
咱倆去吃派吧 Let's go get dumb-ass pie.
好主意 Sounds good.
寂靜溫暖的夏之夜 （《A Summer Song》） Sweet, sleepy warmth Of summer nights
嗯嗯 Uh-uh.
嗯哼 Mm.
他們說一切美好終歸會煙消雲散 They say that all good things Must end some day '.
嗯... Hmm...
有特色菜嗎？ Have any specials?
他總是盯著菜單10分鐘後才說出一句 He'll have what he always has after he reads the menu for 10 minutes
有特色菜嗎 and asks about specials.
最後還是要一份芝士蘋果派 A slice of apple pie with a nasty piece of cheddar.
我要草莓派 I'll have the strawberry-rhubarb.
這可是我最後一餐，浪費點無所謂 It's my last meal, I'm gonna splurge.
世界頂尖殺人魔就在外面 咱倆還有心情在這吃派 World-class serial killer out there and we're having pie.
業餘時間你都做什麼？ What do you do in your spare time, stretch?
啊！ Oh!
我看你沒明白我的意思 See, I sense you're not embracing the concept here.
放鬆的吃派更有利於工作 Pie don't work unless you let it.
我正要嘗試一下 I'm gonna let it.
你說過咱倆不怎麼聊天？ And you say we don't talk?
來吧，問我任何你想知道的問題？ You go ahead. Ask me any question. Anything you want.
只要和案子無關，什麼都行 As long as it doesn't have to do with the case. Just let her rip.
你和O咋回事？ What's up with you and O?
我和O？ Me and O?
啊哈，沒錯，你和O Ha-ha-ha. Yeah, you and O.
好吧，好吧 All right, all right.
是這麼回事 All fight, this is it.
前陣子上頭讓我調查一個音樂家 A while back, I was assigned to keep tabs on a musician.
米克·賈格？ Mick Jagger?
他是英國滾石樂隊成員 He's in this British band, the Rolling Stones.
很耳熟 Rings a bell.
我們認為他來地球就是為了 和地球女人繁殖後代 We believed he was on the planet to breed with Earth women.
所以我就到了倫敦 也就在這時遇見了O So I was in London and that's when I met O.
她很聰明，有趣，笑容迷人 Just smart. Funny. A great smile.
我們在酒吧碰見的 And we find ourselves in this pub, which is a bar, all right?
啤酒是溫的而且食物非常難吃 Warm beer and the worst food you ever ate.
所以我們就一直玩飛鏢，直到天亮 We just played darts till the sun came up.
誰也不想離開 Neither of us wanted to leave.
後來你怎麼變了？ What the hell happened to you, man?
不知道，那些事還沒發生呢 I don't know. It hasn't happened yet.
你呢，滑頭？有女朋友嗎？ Come on, what about you, slick? In the future, you got yourself a girl?
有你就夠了 I got you.
不敢相信，操蛋的大都會隊（紐約棒球隊） MAN 1: I cannot believe this, freaking New York Mets.
簡直就是廢物 MAN 2: Total losers!
做為大都會的粉絲心裏可不好受 It's a rough time to be a Mets fan.
可不是嗎 從來沒贏過小熊隊（芝加哥棒球隊） Tell me about it. Never gonna catch the Cubs.
有意思，其實大都會最後奪冠了 That's funny. The Mets actually win it all this year.
是嗎 Oh, yeah.
不，我是說真的 No, I'm serious.
我知道 Oh, I'm sure.
三個月後，那傢伙 Look, three months from now, your buddies down there
就得稱他們為不可思議的大都會 are gonna be calling them the Amazing Mets
大都會是個奇跡 and the Miracle Mets.
怎麼？ What?
你想到什麼了？ What you got there, hoss?
那阿查南星人說過：「太神奇了 就是個奇跡，我看球賽時也看到你了」 The Archanan said, 'lt's amazing it's a miracle I'll see you at the game.'
我知道他在哪 I know where he is.
都跟你說過了吃派絕對好使 Told you to trust the pie.
如果格裏芬來這看球賽 現在也不是時候啊 K: If Griffin's here for a game, he's either too early or too late.
他在這，我們得在鮑裏斯之前找到他 J: He's here. We just gotta find him before Boris does.
該把東西還給你了 It's time to give you your things back,
搭檔 partner.
吃完派你還有人情味兒了 You get some pie in you, you get all mushy.
只是槍太沉了而已 I'm just tired of carrying your stuff.
加油啊！好球！再來一個 GRIFFIN: Boo! Ah, come on now! All right! Let's go,
大都會！ Mets!
加油！大都會！加油！ Let's go, Mets! Let's go,
- 大都會！加油! - 格裏芬？ Mets! Let's go, Met- Griffin?
喔！ Oh!
來得正好！ You're just in time!
要不是羅賓遜的這幾次失誤，比賽就結束了 Unless this is the one where Robinson bad-hops it past third, it's almost over.
喔！ Whoo!
我們錯過什麼了嗎？ Are we missing something?
球賽 The game.
哇哦 J: Whoa.
你就是這麼看東西的？真神奇 So this is how you see things? This is amazing.
這能力很討厭，但有時用下也不錯 It's a gigantic pain in the ass. But it has its moments.
這可是10月份的比賽 This game doesn't happen fill October.
我能看到10月 It's always October
11月，3月的比賽 and November and March.
當未來展現在你眼前，一切都那麼真實 你不會知道會發生什麼 So many futures, and all real. Don't know which will coalesce.
直到那時，發生轉折的一刻 Until then, they're all happening.
就像這個，是我最難忘的時刻 Like this one, it's my favourite moment in human history.
一切有利因素都在大都會這邊 讓他們贏得世界冠軍 All the things that had to converge for the Mets to win the World Series.
雖然每個賽季他們都是最後一名 但從現在開始就不一樣了 They were in last place every single season until they won it all.
你說有禮物要給我們 You said you had a gift.
那個棒球 That baseball,
就是第五場比賽最後投出去的 由麻省奇科皮的斯波爾丁製造的 thrown for the last out of game five, manufactured in '62 by Spalding
由於棒球皮革沒有 of Chicopee, Massachusetts, was aerodynamically ﬂawed
正確晾曬導致存在力學缺陷 due to the horsehide being improperly tanned
因為制革工人的妻子讓他 because the tanner's wife left him
為一個波多黎各職業高爾夫球選手服務 for a Puerto Rican golf pro...
禮物呢？ Um, the gift?
當然，在盒子裏 Oh, yes, of course. In the box.
這可是個驚喜，可以保衛地球 Uh, it's the surprise. To protect the Earth.
這個是盾牌 It's a shield.
盾牌 J: Shield.
阿查南星人，天穹網 你建造的天穹網 Archanan. Arc Net. You put up the Arc Net.
- 怎麼用？ - 當球投給 How? When that ball is pitched to
戴維·約翰遜 Davey Johnson,
約翰遜之所以成為棒球手 vvho became a player
因為他父親在他生日時沒弄到橄欖球給他 because his dad couldn't find a football to give him for his birthday,
擊打時 it hits
球棒偏高了2微米 his bat two micrometers too high,
球剛好被克里昂·瓊斯接住 popping out to Cleon Jones
克里昂本應該是克拉拉 who would've been born Clara, a statistical
一個從事打字員工作的女孩 如果他父母在造人當晚 typist, if his parents didn't have an extra glass of wine that night
沒喝那麼多酒的話 before going to bed
奇跡出現時 A miracle
總是覺得不可思議，其實早已命中注定 is what seems impossible but happens anyway.
我的星球已經被毀了 I lost my planet.
我不希望地球也遭受同樣厄運 I don't want you to lose yours.
它會帶來奇跡，如果你們成功了 It'll lake a miracle, but if you pull this off,
這會是人類歷史上 you'll be my new favourite moment
最難忘的時刻 in human history.
哎呀 Oh, dear.
我忘了還有這場好戲 I forgot to see this one coming.
該死！ Damn it!
未來有這玩意嘛？ Have these in the future?
沒有 No.
騎上去 Get on.
保持回轉儀零增益 Keep gyro settings at zero gain.
迅速扳動中央軸可以在 傾斜和偏航時保持平衡 Balance pitch and yaw with bursts on the center stalk
壓力介於80-100磅每平方英吋 between 80 and 100 psi.
根本沒聽懂 J: Aah! I didn't understand.
你說的這些！ Any of that!
- 回轉儀設置到零增益 - 現在就是 Gyro at zero gain. It is.
在傾斜和偏航時迅速扳動中央軸 Pitch and yaw with short bursts on the center stalk.
我做了 I did.
壓力介於80-100磅每平方英吋 Between 80 and 100 psi.
明白了 Got it.
哇哦！ Whoa!
把天穹網給我！ BORIS: The Arc Net! Give it to me!
你找不到的 GRIFFIN: This isn't the one where you get it!
- 感覺怎麼樣，頭兒？ - 還行 All right there, chief? Hell, yeah.
要是4個輪子就好了 It'd be better with four wheels!
至少也得兩個吧 Two is, like, my minimum.
如果鮑裏斯拿到天穹網會怎樣？ K: What happens if Boris gets the Arc Net?
伯格羅多星人會大舉入侵，地球毀滅！ J: Boglodite invasion, total destruction of Earth!
盒子！ The box!
好孩子 Good boy.
咱們得阻止他！ We gotta stop this guy!
我一直在努力！ J: I've been trying!
你努力過？ You haven't been trying?
滑頭 K: Hey, slick.
在未來，還有人跳德州兩步舞嗎？ In the future, we ever do the Texas two-step?
有，長官！ Yes, sir!
抓到他了嗎？ Did you get him?
給我點時間 Give me a sec.
他死了？ Is he dead?
沒有 Negative.
他跑了 He got away.
格裏芬沒事，咱們走吧 I got Griffin. Let's get out of here.
我已經有年輕的感覺了 I feel younger already.
（1969年7月16日凌晨3:06）
你這個可憐的廢物 You pathetic waste of Boglodite flesh.
如果你跟我沒關係 我立刻就殺了你 I'd kill you right now, if I didn't value my own life.
- 你是誰？ - 看看你自己 Who are you? Look at you.
眼看我的過失即將發生 Every mistake I've ever made, just waiting to happen.
我的胳膊怎麼了？ What happened to my arm?
被人類打斷了 You lose it, shot off by a human.
人類不可能擊敗我 No human could defeat me.
接下來你在監獄呆了40年 像野獸一樣被鎖住 You spend the next 40 years in prison, chained up like an animal.
沒有我逃不出的監獄！ No prison can hold me!
這是他們特別為我們建造的，在月球上 They built one especially for us, on the moon.
人類還沒登月呢 No human has been to the moon,
所以他們不能在那建監獄 so they cannot have built it there already.
別跟我爭！ 如果聽我的你就能避免這一切 Stop arguing! You can avoid all of that if you just listen to me!
你輸了！是你讓我的胳膊被打斷的！ You were defeated! You let it get shot off!
不是我，是你！ That wasn't me, that was you!
你有什麼計劃？ What's your plan?
阻止建造天穹網 Prevent the Arc Net from being deployed.
- 殺光想阻止我們的人 - 好主意 Kill anyone who tries Good plan.
沒我的幫忙 Didn't work.
你幹不成 With my help.
弄到天穹網，殺了K探員 We'll get the Arc Net, kill Agent K,
我們就無可匹敵了！ the invasion will be successful
咱們倆都能有兩隻胳膊…… and we'll get to keep both
啊！ of our ar...! Argh! Stop
別盯著它看！ sharing at it!
聽著 Listen.
- 你還好嗎？ - 謝謝你救了我 You all right? Yeah. Thank you for saving my life.
應該做的 It's what we do.
天穹網還在你那嗎？ You still have the Arc Net?
情況越糟 When you're being hunted by Boris the Animal,
越能急中生智 you get good at hiding things.
哇哦 J: Whoa.
這可以拯救地球 This will save your world.
一旦暴露在大氣層中 Once it's outside the atmosphere, it gets
會形成巨大的防護罩 a whole lot bigger.
你們得去部署它了 All you have to do is deploy it.
你是指在太空嗎？你想讓我們怎麼做？ You mean in space? Well, how do you suppose we do that?
這並不難 Ah, it's just one small step.
（紐約時報：今日發射月球火箭！）
月球火箭 The moon launch.
卡納維拉爾角 Cape Canaveral.
1969年7月16日 July 16th, 1969.
我們得用6小時內到達佛羅里達 We got six hours to get to Florida.
最好趕快出發，滑頭 Better get a move on, slick.
等等，聽我說 Uh, wait, uh, hold up.
不用兩個人一起 我自己去就行了 Not us. Uh, I'm gonna do this one alone.
他必須得… He has to be the...
格裏芬，噓 Griffin. Shh-shh-shh.
你什麼意思，自己？ What do you mean, alone?
我獨自去佛羅里達，你呆在這 I'm gonna go to Florida. You stay here.
你得相信我 I need you to trust me.
相信你？我可不這麼想 有什麼事瞞著我，滑頭？ Trust you? I don't think so. Something you're not telling me, slick?
你不能去佛羅里達 You're not going to Florida.
不可能，搭檔 That ain't gonna happen, partner.
瞧,K Look, K.
拜託，我不允許你佛羅里達 Please, I will not allow you to go to Florida.
那就阻止我 Stop me.
你在那死的！ You die there!
卡納維拉爾角，阿波羅火箭發射 Cape Canaveral. Apollo launch.
鮑裏斯在那殺了你 Boris kills you there.
這就是我來這的原因 That's what I'm here for.
我到這來就是為了阻止這一切 That's what I came back to stop.
哎呀，一波未平一波又起 Oh, dear. We're in this one.
K！ K...
我看過檔案和報告 I saw the file, I looked at the report.
我說過告訴你的一切… I said I told you everything...
這拳為了你對我說謊 That's for lying to me.
我道歉還不行嗎！ Look, I'm sorry, man!
啊！ Aah!
這拳為了告訴我真相！ That's for telling me the truth!
我只想保護你 I'm trying to protect you.
老兄！ Man!
啊！ Aah!
忠言逆耳利於行 The bitterest truth is better than the sweetest lies.
噓，噓！ Shh-shh!
他必須得去卡納維拉爾角 He has to go to Cape Canaveral.
必須由他部署天穹網，這是他的命運 He must deploy the Arc Net as he did before.
沒別的辦法 There's no other way.
拯救地球是他唯一的期望 K is the only hope in saving Earth.
我能拯救他嗎？ Can I save him?
有沒有哪個時間點我可以救他？ Is there any future where I save his life?
有 Yes.
但在死亡之地 But where there is death
總會有死亡發生 there will always be death.
按你說的，我之前都做過了 According to you, I've done this before.
所以肯定能行 So we know it's possible.
如果真像你說的那樣 If you're half the agent you say you are,
就想辦法別讓我被殺 you'll make sure I don't get killed doing it.
我們不是搭檔嗎？你跟我說的 So are we partners? You tell me.
咱們出發 Let's go.
K探員 O: Agent K,
- 你好嗎？ - 很好 how are you? I'm good.
等出發時再擁抱也不遲 Okay, group hug on the way to doing what we're doing.
今早宇航員將帶著人類的期盼 This morning, man is about to launch himself on a trip to the moon
飛往月球並在那著陸 with the expectation of landing there.
我得問問你 Look, I gotta ask you.
如果我們成功了，建造了天穹網 If we pull this off, fix things the way they were,
我和O，是不是…？ O and I, are we...?
有個聰明人曾經跟我說過 A wise man once told me,
不該知道的就別問 don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to.
- 我說的，是嗎？ - 是的，先生 I said that, didn't I? Yes, sir.
在這 O: Here they are.
- 他們是什麼？ - 噴氣飛行器 J: What are they? Jetpacks..
噴氣飛行器？ Jetpacks?
不，我們不用噴氣飛行器 No, no, no. We're not doing jetpacks.
未來也不會用 There's a reason we don't have these in the future.
K，咱們開車過去吧 K, we gotta drive.
從佛羅里達到曼哈頓島 5小時可開不到，長官 Can't drive to Florida from Manhattan in five hours, chief.
可以的，按紅色按鈕 這是咱們專用車的標配 Yeah, we can. The red button, standard issue in every MiB car.
按下它，就能以超光速行駛 Press the red button, goes into hyperdrive.
別忘了紅色按鈕還沒發明呢，滑頭 No red buttons yet, slick.
拜託，夥計 Come on, man.
你知道 Do you know
這笨傢伙怎麼用嗎？ how to work this stupid thing?
並不難 It's like with anything.
繫上安全帶，往好了想就行 Just have to strap yourself in, hope for the best.
我說的對嗎，O小姐？ Isn't that right, Miss O?
很不幸，是的 Unfortunately, it is.
準備好沒，滑頭？ You ready, slick?
哦了 Let's get it.
這一定很有趣！ This is gonna be interesting!
具有歷史意義的阿波羅11號 It's just minutes to the
一切準備就緒 historic launch of Apollo 11
即將發射 with all going well.
咱們這次沒爆炸真好 I'm so glad this isn't one of the times we explode.
這次？ One of the times?
有麻煩了 Oh, we got company...
啥玩意？ The hell?
還得用電池嗎？ Is that a battery belt?
好吧，我來 All right, I got it.
不，實際情況是你們得把部署天穹網 No, any reality that gets the shield deployed
的真相告訴他們才行 is one where you tell the truth.
真相？ The truth?
只有告訴他們真相才是唯一出路 The truth is the only path.
這裏被封鎖了 This is a restricted areal.
是啊，長官 Yes, sir, it is.
今天是個好日子，先生們 美國歷史上偉大的一天，不是嗎？ Good day, gentlemen. Great day for America, isn't it?
我是J探員，他是K探員，這是格裏芬 My name is Agent J. This is Agent K. That's Griff.
我們隸屬政府秘密組織 We're from a secret government organization
負責監督治理外星人活動 避免給地球帶來困擾 that polices and monitors alien activity on and off planet Earth.
這有個東西 Heh, here's the thing.
是個很特別的金屬製品 We have this special little metal thingy
格裏芬給我的，我們得把他放到火箭上 that Griff gave us that we have to get on top of that rocket,
這樣才可以阻止外星人入侵 heh, heh, to prevent an alien invasion.
這就行了 That worked.
- 效果立竿見影 - 長官，德拉門這邊有情況 Like a charm. MP: Sir, Della Gate. We have a problem.
3人擅自闖入，沒有身份證 但攜帶武器，長官 Three trespassers. No IDs, but they've got weapons, sir.
這東西從沒見過 Some kind I've never seen before.
怎麼會有這麼蠢的人 What breed of fool do you have to be
在如此重要的日子 to penetrate my site on the day of the most massive feat
闖入我的地盤？ attempted by mankind?
在上帝，全體國民以及 Watched by God, the population of the planet and my own
- 我的兒子面前 - 上校 firstborn MP: Colonel?
上校，這是他們帶的東西 Colonel, they had these.
他們說得把什麼東西放在火箭上 They said they needed to put something on the rocket
來防止入侵 for an invasion.
謝謝 Thanks.
還有10分鐘火箭發射 I got 10 minutes to launch.
如果這對火箭構成威脅 現在就告訴我，別撒謊 If you pose a threat to that rocket, you tell me now and do not lie to me.
我說的都是事實 I told the truth last time.
長官，他為了救我 Sir, this man came here from
從未來穿梭至今 the future to protect me
我可以在火箭頂端裝上盾牌來拯救地球 so I can attach a shield to the top of that rocket and save the world.
這需要你的幫助 I need your help to do that.
把他帶到禁閉室 Take them to the brig.
真有你的，格裏芬 You're slipping, Griff.
長官，如果可以 Sir, if I may.
下士 Corporal.
你們可以走了 You men are no longer needed.
這些人交給我 I'll take the prisoners.
- 長官，你…？ - 退下 Sir, are you-? Dismissed.
跟我來 Follow me.
你用超能力讓他看到什麼了？ You did the future thing. What did you show him?
只是他應該知道的事 Only what he needed to see.
我得走了 I have to go now.
什麼？不，來吧 What? No, no, no. Come on.
你不再需要我了 You don't need me any more.
好吧，格裏芬，別逗我了 All right, Griff, don't start ﬂipping on me.
當鮑裏斯斷臂時 往事就已注定，K會沒事的 When Boris' arm is taken, the past will be as it was. K will survive.
他不會知道你曾經來過這 He will not know you were ever here.
斷臂，我知道，就像復位一樣？ All right. Arm gone, got it. Like a reset?
當這事發生時 回到你原來的地方，離開這 When that happens, go home. Leave.
你還來不來？ You coming?
來 Yeah, all right!
多謝，老兄，我還會見到你嗎？ Uh, thanks, man. Hey, will I ever see you again?
一切皆有可能 Anything's possible.
噢，格裏芬 Oh, Griff.
真不忍心看到這一切 I can never bear to watch this part.
北美東部時間週一清晨 Armstrong and Aldrin are scheduled
阿姆斯特朗和奧爾德林 to set foot on the moon
將正式踏上月球之旅 on early Monday morning, Eastern Daylight Time.
格裏芬呢？ Where's Griffin?
有事先走了 Doing his own thing.
先生們 COLONEL Gentlemen.
這電梯能把你們送到頂上 This elevator will take you to the top.
你們可以把天穹網 To get the Arc Net outside the atmosphere,
綁在太空艙上方的分離火箭上 來接觸大氣層 you need to strap it to the escape rocket above the capsule!
火箭發射時 You do not want to be
一定要離得遠遠的！ anywhere near this rocket when it takes off!
- 還有問題嗎？ - 沒了，謝謝你，上校 Questions? No. Thank you for this, colonel.
你們任務艱巨 Some job you got there.
多謝，哥們 Hey, thanks a lot, bro.
格裏芬給你看什麼了？ What did Griff show you back there?
你們有多重要 How important you are.
你和你搭檔 You and your partner.
如果一切順利 J: Look, If everything goes right the way we hope it does,
我得盡快離開這回到未來 I'm gonna end up getting out of here pretty quick,
可能沒機會向你告別 so I'm not gonna have a chance to say a proper goodbye.
如果事情不順利，我也沒機會跟你告別 If things go wrong, not gonna have a chance to, either.
能否成功就看咱們了 So I guess win or lose, this is it.
我知道我為什麼雇你了 I see why I recruited you.
你是個好人 You're a good man.
好人 Good man.
夥計，你怎麼變這樣了？ Man, what the hell happened to you?
我跟你說過 有些事還沒發生所以我也不清楚 I told you, it still hasn't happened yet.
我對付這個！ J: I'll take this one!
真不懂規矩 Naughty...
如果你輸了應該去修修腳 Get a pedicure if you get a second.
去死吧 And lift off.
開始進入最後倒計時兩分鐘 Just passed the two-minute mark
各項參數顯示正常 in the countdown, and all is still go as we monitor our status board.
宇航員狀況良好，動力分配已完成 MAN: Astronauts report it feels good. Power transfer is complete.
尼爾·阿姆斯特朗報告倒計時一切正常 Neil Armstrong just reported back it's been a real smooth countdown.
嘿！ Hey!
鮑裏斯，幫個忙好嗎？ Boris, can you give me a hand?
嘿！啊！ Hey! Aah!
嘿！ Hey!
我喊你聽見沒？ You hear me calling you?
禽獸鮑裏斯！ Boris the Animal!
嘿！ Hey!
禽獸鮑裏斯！ Boris the Animal!
是「鮑裏斯」！ It's just Boris!
你輸定了 You're gonna lose.
咱們走著瞧 Let's agree to disagree.
嘿！ Hey!
禽獸鮑裏斯！ Boris the Animal!
右 Right.
左 Left.
（1969年7月16日上午9:30）
你輸定了 You're gonna lose.
咱們走著瞧 Let's agree to disagree.
嘿！ Hey!
禽獸鮑裏斯！ Boris the Animal!
右 Right.
左，左 Left. Left.
右 Right.
這不可能 That's not possible.
咱們走著瞧 Let's agree to disagree.
這可不能！ That's not possible!
K！ K!
我贏了！比那老傢伙強！ I win! I'm better than me!
這才是我搭檔 That's my partner.
這才是我搭檔！ That's my partner!
如果把這個報上去 If we call this in,
- 他們會取消發射 - 我什麼也沒看見 they'll scrub the launch. I didn't see anything
- 你搭檔呢？ - 他回去了 Where's your partner? He went home.
- 結果如何？ - 你懂的 How does that work? You got me.
快走！ Come on!
跪下！ Get down!
哇哦 Wow.
贏啦 K: Bingo.
夥計，那東西可真先進 Man, that is some next-level stuff.
還想看這東西的話 You ever want to see more,
我知道一個絕密組織 正需要你這樣的人 I know a top-secret organization that could use a man like you.
但願我可以 I wish I could.
謝謝 Thank you.
後會有期，K I'll see you around, K.
當心！ Look out!
來啊 Go ahead.
逮捕我吧 Arrest me.
這次不同 Not this time.
在死亡之地，總會有死亡發生 'Where there's death, there will always be death.'.
爸爸！爸爸！ BOY: Daddy! Daddy!
嘿 K: Hey...
我是K，你叫什麼？ Hey, my name's K. What's your name?
詹姆斯 James.
詹姆斯？這名字不錯 K: James? That's a nice name.
我爸爸呢？ Where's my dad?
你手裏拿的什麼？ What have you got there? What is that?
我爸爸給我的 My dad gave it to me.
可以看火箭發射時間 We timed the launch.
我爸爸哪去了？ Where is my daddy?
他… He, uh...
他有一些特別的事情要做 He went to go do something very special.
他讓我留下來 And he wanted me
照顧你這個小朋友 to stay here and take care of his best pal.
那他什麼時候回來？ When is he gonna be back?
他… He, uh...
詹姆斯… James...
看這裏 if you look right here,
我會告訴你想知道的唯一事情 I will tell you the only thing you ever need to know.
你老爸是個英雄 Your daddy is a hero.
我爸爸是英雄？ My daddy is a hero?
- 想和我去走走嗎？ - 好啊 K: Want to take a walk with me? Yes.
詹姆斯 James?
在這個由夢想鑄成的 （《Empire State Of Mind》） Concrete jungle where dreams
全是高樓大廈的城市裏 Are made of There's nothing '
你可以為所欲為 You can't do
因為你現在在紐約 Now you're in New York
哦，耶 Oh, yeah
街道會讓你 These streets will make you '.
感覺煥然一新 K: Feel brand-new
燈光將激勵你 The lights will inspire you
紐約 New York
你來晚了 You're late.
抱歉，忘看表了 Uh, sorry. Lost track of time.
你怎麼知道那歌？ How do you know that song?
喝你的咖啡吧，還有活幹呢 Drink your coffee. We got work to do.
你知道你不知道的那些事嗎？ What do you know and what do you don't?
我不知道怎麼可能知道？ How do I know what I don't know?
這問題是挺有意思 昨晚咱倆去吳的餐廳沒？ That's a really good question. Did we go to Wu's last night?
去了 Yeah.
伯格羅多星人？ Boglodites?
40年前就滅絕了 Extinct for 40 years.
太好了，昨晚咱倆通電話沒？ Perfect. Did we talk on the phone last night?
你把我電話掛了 You hung up on me.
是啊 Yeah, I did.
因為這些秘密 But that was because of all those secrets
宇宙都不知道 the universe doesn't know about.
可是… But...
我發現 I've realized that
昨晚的事已經過了 last night was a long,
好久好久 long time ago.
實際上只是想說句謝謝你 And, really, I just want to say thank you.
那我太榮幸了 It's been my Privilege...
你知道嗎，現在來說很可能 You know, there's really high possibility now
我知道的一些事你不知道 that I might know some things you don't know.
我才不信 I doubt it. Heh.
我打賭我知道你和O為什麼會這樣 I bet I know what went down with you and O.
他是個好女人，但你知道規矩 K: She's a very fine lady, but you know the rules.
探員之間不許過分親密 There's no fraternizing amongst agents.
我想你們倆在酒吧那晚也算挺親密吧 J: I think y'all might have fraternized a time or two.
這才是真正最令我難忘的時刻 This is my new favourite moment in human history.
除非K忘了付小費 Unless this is the one where K forgot to leave a tip.
差點忘了 Almost forgot.
千鈞一髮 That was a close one.
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