嘿 塞斯·罗根 怎么样 老兄 MAN: Hey, 赛斯 Rogen. What up, man?
约翰 到这来 WOMAN: Oh, hey, John! Over here!
欢迎来到洛杉矶国际机场 MAN OVER PA; Welcome to Los Angeles International Airport.
全体旅客注意 Attention, all passengers.
请照看好你的行李 Do not leave your baggage unattended.
所有没人看管的行李将放到失物处 All unattended baggage is subject to search...
哇 (LAUGHING) Yay!
我们太高兴了 We're so happy!
看看这 Look at this!
怎么样 老兄 What's happening, man?
很高兴见到你 伙计 Good to see you, buddy.
你好么 我很好 老兄 How you doing? I'm good, man.
是啊 不错嘛 (LAUGHS) Yes, you are.
有多久没见了 老兄 How long has it been, man?
上次见的时候 Sometime in the last...
一年之内吧 是啊 Inside of a year or something. Yeah.
周末我有个好计划 老兄 I have the best weekend ever planned, man.
算上我 我可不想把它毁了 Lay it on me. Ooh! I don't want to ruin it.
塞斯·罗根 该死 我们走 嘿 MAN: Seth Rogen! Shit, here we go. Hey.
还好么 老兄 是啊 挺好的 How's it going, man? Yeah, good.
那么 你 喜欢 总是像那些在电影里的家伙那么玩么 So,you,Hke, always play, like, the same guy in every movie.
当你真的去演戏的时候 老兄 When are you gonna do some, like, real acting, man?
好的 谢谢 SETH: Okay, thank you.
给我来点 给我来点 笑声 老兄 Give me something. Give me, like, the laugh, man.
塞斯·罗根笑笑 Give me the Seth Rogen laugh.
塞斯·罗根 大家 (SETH LAUGHS) Seth Rogen, everybody.
好了 我已经降落了 我到这了 我们已经见面了 All right, I've landed. I'm here. We've said our hellos.
我们能去卡乐星（快餐店）了么 Can we please go to fucking Carl's Jr.?
哦 (GROANS) on.
我喜欢去 我在 I would... I would love to. I'm on a...
我现在真的吃不了那玩意了 I can't really eat that stuff right now.
我在一个 额..什么 I'm on a, uh... What?
我在清洁肠胃 I'm on this cleanse.
你..你在什么 You're... You're on a what?
我在清洁肠胃 I'm on a cleanse.
什么 挺适合你的 What? It's good for you.
我不知道 你应该每天拉六次屎 I didn't know... You're supposed to take six shits a day.
不是那样的 是真的 That's not true. It is true!
你应该每天拉两次 不 You're supposed to shit twice a day. No.
假的 他们通常这么想的 That's not true. That's what they used to think.
现在他们知道你每天拉六次屎了 Now they know you're supposed to shit six times a day.
所以你不喝酒 你不抽大麻 你不 So you're not drinking. You're not smoking weed. You're not...
不 不 我喝酒抽大麻 但是 No, no, I'm drinking and smoking weed. But...
我在清理肠胃 我不是精神病 I'm on a cleanse. I'm not psychotic.
听着 老兄 如果你不再吃麸质 Look, man, if you stopped eating gluten,
你会感觉一天都的更好 you'd feel way fucking better all day.
无论你何时觉得糟糕的时候 都是因为吃麸质的缘故 Whenever you feel shitty, that's 'cause of gluten.
你就扯吧 真的 That's not true. It is.
谁他么告诉你不能吃麸质的 就是真的 Who the fuck told you not to eat gluten? It's just true.
你都不知道麸质是啥 You don't even know what gluten is.
我知道麸质是什么 I know what fucking gluten is.
不 你不知道麸质 No, you have no idea what gluten is.
我知道麸质 I do know what gluten is.
麸质是一个模糊的术语 Gluten's a vague term.
是一种通常划分为有害的东西 你懂么 It's something that's used to categorize things that are bad, you know?
卡路里 麸质里有 热量 麸质里有 Calories, that's a gluten. Fat, that's a gluten.
有人应该告诉你 或许不应该吃面筋 Somebodyjust told you you probably shouldn't eat gluten,
你就像 "哦 我觉得 我不应该吃麸质" you're like, "Oh, I guess I shouldn't eat gluten."
麸质就是臭狗屎 老兄 我才不吃呢 Gluten means bad shit, man, and I'm not eating it.
哼 Mmm!
嗯哼 哦 Mmm-hmm. Oh!
老天 God!
越吃越好吃 Each bite is better than the previous bite.
这就是 麸质 It is. Gluten!
嘿 这看起来挺漂亮的 Hey, this looks beautiful.
是啊 你喜欢么 我完全是重做的 Yeah. Do you like it? I totally redid it.
太棒了 It's fucking awesome.
都是新的 它们都是新的 It's all new. Those are new.
该死的 孩子 这真的很好 嗯 God damn, son! It's pretty nice, huh?
所以这才是生活 So this is how the other half lives. (SETH CHUCKLES)
来吧 太棒了 Come on. Amazing.
曲棍球桌 Air hockey tables. Jesus Murphy!
好了 好的 准备 杰 Right? Okay, get ready, Jay.
什么 What?
我有个小惊喜给你 I have a little surprise for you.
好的 Okay.
这是你生命中最美好的周末 哦 Here's the best weekend you ever had in your life. Oh!
看看 老兄 Look at it, man.
哦 我的天 你们认真的么 Oh, my... Are you serious?
都是你最爱的东西 It's all of your favorite things.
Starburst和Airheads（食品） 是啊 Starburst and Airheads on a... Yeah.
它叫做 "杰" And it says "Jay."
它拼的 拼的 In joints. In joints.
它叫做 "杰" It says "Jay" in Jays-
塞斯·罗根 你就是最好的人 Seth Rogen, you are just the best people.
来吧 我知道你不喜欢在洛杉矶 所以我认为我能做到 Come on, I know you don't love it in LA, so I figure I'll make it...
你知道 我往入口处倒了一点润滑油 You know, I'll lube up your entry a little bit.
它润滑了传送装置 是啊 对么 It eases the transition. Yeah, right?
这是必须的前戏 This is the much-needed foreplay.
你知道我还弄了什么 You know what else I got?
呦 这个 Yo, this...
3D的电视 不 你不会的 A 3-D television. No, you didn't...
我有3D电视了 你是认真的么 I got a 3-D TV. Are you serious?
哦 我的天啊 我做到了 老兄 Oh, my God. I did it, man.
什么 What?
我们开始看吧 Let's get into it.
哦 我的天啊 伙计 Oh, my God, bud.
是甘道夫灰色的烟斗 It's Gandalf the Grey's pipe.
该死 不要 Damn, no shit.
你好 小霍比特人 (MIMICS GANDALF) Hello, little hobbit.
点上我的大麻 好耶 Spark my ganja. (LAUGHING) Yeah.
我是一个著名的同性恋倡导者 I'm a well-known homosexual advocate.
Backstreet's back, all right
Hey, hey, yeah, well
Everybody Rock your body
Everybody Everybody
Rook your body right Rock your body
Everybody
Backstreet's back
哦 我的眼睛感觉 他们正在融化 SETH: Oh, my eyes feel like they're melting.
哇哦 哇哦 哇哦 Whoa, whoa, whoa.
我需要休息一下 I need a break.
哦 你知道么 Oh. You know what, actually?
我们一会要去弗兰科家 We should go to Franco's house soon.
他正在开一个乔迁派对 He's having a housewarming party.
他的房子刚刚完工 He just finished building his house.
我还没见过呢 I haven't even seenityeL
但是应该挺疯狂的 but it's supposed to be bonkers.
我大概有一年没有来洛杉矶了 I haven't been in LA in, like, a year,
我来这找你玩 and I came here to chill with you.
我们可以一起玩 还有我们可以和其他人一起玩 We can chill together, and we'll chill with those other guys.
我们是一个玩乐大集体 We'll all chill as one big unit.
那有我认识的人么 Will I even know anybody there?
你认识詹姆斯·弗兰科 You know James Franco.
詹姆斯·弗兰科 都还不知道我的名字呢 James Franco doesn't even know my name.
乔纳·希尔也会在那 Jonah Hill will be there.
受不了他 他受不了我 Can't stand him. He can't stand me.
他就像世界上最好的人 他很喜欢你 He's, like, the nicest guy in the world! He likes you so much.
他特别说他有多喜欢你 He specifically talks about how he likes you.
不知怎么的 他就会说 "你知道么" Out of nowhere, he just said, "You know what?
"杰令人鼓舞" "Jay's an inspiration."
他不可能那么说的 那也受不了他 There's no way he said that. Also, just can't stand him.
好了 好吧 克雷格·罗宾逊 Okay, fine. Craig Robinson.
从未见过他 Never met him.
他挺逗的 He's hilarious.
总是出汗 但是是个很好的家伙 Sweats a lot, but he's a great guy.
所以那会有意思的 老兄 So it's gonna be fun, man.
为了你 我才去 For you, I will go.
我保证 我一晚上和你待在一起 好么 I promise, I'll stay with you all night, okay?
我不会抛弃你 不 因为 我想整晚和你一起 I won't ditch you. No, cause I want to be with you all night.
你知道还有别的原因么 And you know why else?
因为没人把杰扔到角落 'Cause nobody puts Jay in the corner.
很好 Awesome.
哇哦 (LAUGHS) WOW!
谢谢 谢谢 给你 酷啊 JAY: Thank you. Thank you. There you go. Cool.
非常感谢 额 非常感谢 Thanks a lot, eh? Thanks a lot.
好的 老兄 DRIVER: Okay, man.
我勒个擦 (CHUCKLES) Holy shit.
哇哦 Wow!
这太疯狂了 This is crazy!
是么 是啊 老兄 对么 Yeah? Yeah, man, right?
看看 有点多 Look at it. A bit much.
我认为不算多 I don't think it is a bit much.
我认为这钱正好 I think it's right on the money.
他是谁 帕布罗·埃斯科巴 What is he, Pablo Escobar?
来吧 老兄 这是一条很棒的街 Come on, man, this is an awesome street.
钱宁·塔图姆 住在那 Channing Tatum lives up there.
哦 为了爱 你能不说 Oh, for the love of... Will you stop talking about...
这是美国最性感的街 This is the sexiest street in America.
你和钱宁·塔图姆 You and Channing Tatum.
我认为他很有魅力 I think he's attractive.
我觉得那房子很酷啊 我知道你会那么想的 I think it's a cool house. I know you do.
我等不及要看到里面了 I can't wait to see inside it.
这就是我激动的原因 That's why I'm excited.
哈哈 是的 怎么了 老兄 Ha-ha! Yes! What's up, man? Seth!
太高兴你来了 我太高兴来这了 So happy you're here. I'm so happy to be here.
嘿 约翰尼 怎么了 Hey, Johnny, what's up?
这位是杰 It's Jay. It's Jay.
我永远不会忘的 老兄 很高兴见到你 LWlnever forget it again, man. Good to see you.
很高兴见到你 进来吧 是啊 是啊 很好 Nice to see you. Come on in. Yeah! Yeah, great.
看一下 我的新家 JAMES: Check it out. My new place!
真棒 老兄 SETH: Awesome, man!
我自己设计的 Designed it myself.
真的很酷 这地真漂亮 老兄 Really cool. This place is beautiful, man.
这地方就像我身体的一部分 This place is like a piece of me.
你们两个刚刚走进我身体里 You two just stepped inside me.
你让我们都走进你的内心 是的 You let us both cum inside you. Yeah.
还有别的的东西 看看 Icing on the cake. Check it out.
我自己漆的 Painted them myself.
嗯哼 Huh.
肩并肩 一组 Side by side. A team.
我勒个去 (LAUGHS) Holy shit.
那么 有点怪异 So, is it weird?
没有 你确定 No. You sure?
我真的很喜欢 I really like it.
你觉得呢 杰 What do you think, Jay?
我可不是大艺术家 I'm not a big art guy.
你不喜欢艺术 You don't like art?
那个 好吧 Well, come on...
你玩电视游戏么 是的 You play video games? Yes.
猜猜 伙计 你喜欢艺术 Well, guess what, buddy? You like art.
是的 Yep.
你从未去过赛百味 You ever been to Subway?
是的 Yes.
你点了三明治 You order a sandwich?
有人为你把那材料放到一起 老兄 那就是艺术 Somebody put that together for you, dude. That's art.
三明治艺术家 Sandwich artist.
那么 让我把他放到你身上 杰 So, let me lay this on you, Jay.
哦 次奥 Oh, fuck.
是妈的那啥是画布 Your mama's pussy was the canvas.
你爸的那啥是画笔 Your dad's dick was the paintbrush.
你就是艺术 嗯 Boom. You're the art. Huh?
谢谢 詹姆斯·弗兰科 你明白了 Thanks, James Franco. You got it.
塞思 明迪 你好 Seth! Mindy, hello.
哦 我的天 真高兴见到你 我也是 Oh, my God, great to see you. Oh, you, too.
好久不见了 还好么 Long time. How's it going?
你认识杰么 我认为我以前真的没见过你 You know Jay? I don't think I've ever actually met you.
你在百万英镑宝贝里演的真棒 You were so good in Million Dollar Baby.
太好了 你那么说太感谢了 That's amazing. Thank you so much for saying that.
哦 我的天啊 如果我今晚不上了迈克尔 Oh, my God, if I don't fuck Michael Cera tonight,
我就把我脑袋摘下来 什么 I'm gonna blow my brains out. What?
脸色发白 110镑 Fucking pale, 110 pounds,
秃顶 或许有个大鸟 他磕药咳多了 hairless, probably has a huge cock, coked out of his mind...
你能做得更好 那就是问题 You can do a lot better. That's just trouble.
那么 Ri-Ri你呢 你去看过心理医生么 So, Ri-Ri, how about you, you ever see a psychiatrist?
额 Um...
那可不好 别碰我屁股 贱人 JASON: That's not cool. Don't touch my butt, bitch.
迈克尔那不酷 你能闭嘴么 杰森 Michael, that's not cool. Would you shut the fuck up, Jason!
我们在玩游戏 老兄 We're playing a game, man.
说奶酪 宝贝 Say cheese, baby.
怎么样 伙计 你还好么 老兄 What's up, buddy? How's it going, dude?
很高兴看到你 老兄 Good to see you, man.
那是杰·巴鲁切尔么 嗨 那位 嘿 Is that Jay Baruchel? Hi, there. Hey.
哦 我的天 到这来 老兄 Oh, my God, get in here, dude.
最近怎样 乔纳 你在忙什么 How's it going, Jonah? What are you doing?
很好 你呢 伙计 哦 我的天 Good. How you doing, buddy? Oh, my gosh.
欢迎回来 Welcome back. Thank you very much.
你什么时候来的 额 今天早上 When'd you get in? Uh, this morning,
兄弟 我的胳膊累了 and boy, are my arms tired.
老兄 不错啊 Dude, that's great.
谢谢 恶心 Thank you. JONAH: Sick.
你们这帮家伙在干嘛 What have you guys been doing?
哦 我们就这么待了一整天 Oh, we just hung out all day.
吃了一堆垃圾汉堡 还有抽了一磅的大麻 Ate a bunch of dirty burgers, and smoked about a fucking pound of weed
玩了好几个电视游戏 and played a bunch of video games.
大麻不错 挺棒的 Weed is tight. Weed is tight. That's awesome.
挺棒的 大麻不错 That's awesome. Weed is awesome.
就像海豹突击队中打高尔夫的顺序 It was like the golfing sequence in Navy SEALs.
恶心的引用 兄弟 哦 谢谢 伙计 Sick reference, though, bro. Oh, thanks, bud.
哥们儿 你的引用出格了 每个人都知道那个 Dude, your references are out of control. Everyone knows that.
嘿 谢谢 老兄 我嫉妒了 Hey, thanks, man. I'm jealous.
我本应该立刻去那的 I would have been there in a heartbeat,
但是 额 我实际上控制不了 我的西班牙猎犬 but, uh, I actually just adopted this incontinent spaniel.
她真是一个美丽的尤物 She's a really beautiful soul.
她的名字叫Ahjhai Her name's Ahjhai. Ahjhai?
是的 怎么拼 Yeah. How do you spell it?
A-H-J-H-A-I A-H-J-H-A-I.
你想看她的照片么 You want to see a picture of her?
哦 她太可爱了 嘿 Oh, she's so sweet. Hey!
看看她 啊哦 Look at her. SETH: Aw!
她不能吠 她不知道怎么叫 所以 She can't bark. She doesn't know how, so...
她都不知道怎么吠 She doesn't know how to bark, even?
她不知道怎么吠 She doesn't know how to bark,
所以我尝试着教她 so I've tried to teach her
她只会嚎 然后她站起来 and she just kind of screams, and so she was up,
把她的脸对着笼子 然后就像 had her face smushed against the cage, and was, like...
啊 (YELLING) Ah!
是的 酷 Yeah, cool. Um...
跟你们说个事吧 伙计们 我有个癖好 Tell you what, boys, I'm kind ofjonesing,
所以我打算找个人 一起去外面抽烟 好么 so I'm gonna find someone loan bum a smoke off of outside, all right?
那挺好的 老兄实话实说 我喜欢你 That's tight, dude. Honestly, I like you.
嘿 我也同样喜欢你 Hey, likewise.
好的 老兄 一会回来 SETH: Okay, dude, come back.
我一会就回来你待在那吧好的 老兄 I'll be right back. You're holding court. All right, boys.
老兄 我知道 我想我们取得了一些进步 Dude. I know. I think we're making some progress.
那真的挺好的 That was really good.
实话实说 他是你的老朋友 And honestly, he's your old friend.
我们是你的新朋友 他感到了威胁 We're your new friends. He feels threatened.
是啊 老兄 Yeah, man.
你知道 我也知道了 You know, and I get it.
会没事的 It's gonna be fine.
我真诚地想 今晚 I honestly think tonight's the night
我们把这事说开 we bust this whole thing open.
我很幸运 同样的事情很多 And I'm lucky. It's the same thing a lot, though.
就像我的老婆把冰箱打开 It's, like, my TV wife opensthefldge,
然后 就像 "我的生日蛋糕怎么了" andis,Hke, "What happened to the birthday cake?"
然后我出来 就像 有点面无表情 And I come outwith, like, a little frosting, like,
"什么生日蛋糕" (GOOFY VOICE) "What birthday cake?"
因为你把蛋糕吃了 没错 'Cause you ate the cake! Yeah.
因为你吃了蛋糕 'Cause you ate the cake!
那是我的生日 "It's my birthday."
所以你注定孤独一生 That's why y'all number one. 'Cause of that.
你是杰 对么 是的 You're Jay, right? Yeah.
赛斯的朋友 是啊 Seth's boy? Yeah.
你好么 老兄 很高兴看到你 How you doing, man? Good to see you.
很好 我也是 我也是 Good. Likewise, likewise.
我叫克雷格 老兄这位是艾玛 你好 I'm Craig, man. This is Emma. Hi. Hi, there.
你刚来市里看他 还是什么 You just in town visiting him, or what?
是的 就是来看看他 Yeah. Just for a little visit, you know.
我试着不经常来这 I try to not come down here very much.
我真的不是很喜欢这 I don't really love it here.
你不喜欢洛杉矶 You don't like LA?
我只是不能融入洛杉矶的生活方式 I'm just not really into the LA lifestyle.
你什么样的生活 What lifestyle are you into?
看看他他是那种 就像是 时髦的人 对么 Look at him. He's, like, a hipster, right?
不 我一点都不时髦 No, I'm not a hipster, at all.
是啊 是啊 你确实看起来讨厌一堆东西 Yeah, yeah, you do seem to hate a lot of things,
你裤子的底部太紧了 and the bottom of your pants are awful tight.
不 我只是 我不喜欢洛杉矶 那不并能让我成为时髦的人 No, I just... I don't like Los Angeles. It doesn't make me a hipster.
我打赌你讨厌那种大众喜欢的电影 I'll bet you hate movies that are universally loved.
我没有 I don't even...
你喜欢阿甘么 You like Forrest Gump?
不 不 那就是坨屎 No, no, it's a horrendous piece of shit.
生活就像一盒巧克力 不是么 "Life is like a box of chocolates," no?
是的 不 我太熟悉了 Yeah, no, I'm familiar with it.
你永远不知道你会得到什么 "You never know what you're gonna get."
为什么我们不做一个菠萝快车的续集呢 Why don't we do a sequel to Pineapple Express?
我会喜欢菠萝快车的续集的 I would love to do a sequel to Pineapple.
你有什么想法么 或者 Do you have any ideas, or...
我没有想法 什么 I do have an idea. What?
丹尼已经成为 就像那种毒袅了 It's that Red, Danny, has become, like, the drug lord,
自从我们杀了另一个 you know, since we killed the other one,
他想要暗杀伍迪 and he wants to assassinate Woody Harrelson,
因为他要做一个演讲 将大麻合法化 'cause he's gonna give a speech that makes all of weed legal,
有效地表现了毒品大亨的生意 effectively rendering drug lords out of business.
很好 没错 太好了 Awesome. Yeah, it's fucking awesome,
但是我们没有 我们还不知道怎么结局呢 but we don't have... We don't know how it should end yet.
我 我知道 I... I know.
丹尼试图杀死我们 没错 Danny's trying to kill us. Yeah.
然后我为了你牺牲我自己 And I sacrifice myself for you.
然后他杀了我 And he kills me,
我为你而死 and I die for you.
然后丹尼的吃了我 And Danny fucking eats me. (LAUGHS)
为什么他吃你 不知道 Why does he eatyou? I don't know.
我只是在想 一种最恶心的结局 I'm just trying to think of, like, the nastiest way to go.
是啊 他可以吃了你 好吧 是个好主意 老兄 (LAUGHS) Yeah, he could eat you. Okay. That's a good idea, man.
他只是有点疯了 他有点 就像 吃了我 He's just out of his mind. He just, like, eats me.
嘿 克里斯 你好么 Hey, Chris. How's it going?
嘿 这个可卡因闻起来好么 哦 Hey, does this coke smell funny? Ooh!
靠 迈克尔 你他妈的搞什么 老兄 Fuck! Michael, what the fuck, man?
那很贵的 该死 干你娘 That's expensive shit, motherfucker!
你在干什么 What are you doing?
我从未试过可卡因 老兄 为什么他妈的 I've never fucking done cocaine, dude. Why does it fucking...
你第一次真的做的很烂 Well, you did the best shit possible for your first time,
因为那个破玩意 'cause that's good fucking...
次奥 次奥 次奥 我神经不安 老兄 Fuck, fuck, fuck, I'm nervous, dude.
我不知道你 你怎么回事 老兄 I don't know what... What is wrong with you, man?
瞧 他处于极度兴奋状态 哦 该死 Look, he's freaking out. Oh, shit.
我以前从未磕过药 老兄 I've never done this fucking drug before, man.
迈克 拜托 Mike, please.
我会带你过去的 我会带你过去的 I'll walk you through it. I will walk you through it.
迈克 没有人 我会指引你 Mike, no one... I'll be your guide.
你没事的 克里斯 你没事的 它是在 You're fine, Chris. You're fine. Is it on...
你的胡子上有一些 宝贝 You got some in your mustache, baby.
你的..迈克尔 What are you... Michael!
现在 小伙子们 我要你们 现在真的性感起来 (PLAYING PIANO) Now, fellas, I want you to real sexy right now.
我们要唱这首歌 给所有的女士 We're gonna sing to all the ladies.
所有的小伙子们都要这样 用你们Barry White的嗓音 All the fellas go like this, in your Barry White voice.
把你的内裤脱掉 I Take your panties off
把你的内裤脱掉 MEN: a' Take your panties off
来吧 蕾哈娜为了我 把你的内裤脱掉 CRAIG: J' Come on, Rihanna Take your panties off for me
来吧 克雷格 你能给我滚开么 Come on, Craig, can you fuck off for me? I
我要其中之一的事情 I'll do one of them things. (LAUGHTER)
就像一个天使 JAMES: Like an angel.
派对的主人怎样呢 What about the host of the party?
我没穿内裤 I ain't got no panties on
他没穿内裤 大伙 He ain't got no panties, everybody!
我们没穿内裤 We ain't got no panties on
我们没穿内裤 We ain't got no panties on (LAUGHTER)
我们没穿内裤 We ain't got no panties on
没人穿内裤 Ain't nobody got no panties on
我们没穿内裤 We ain't got no panties on
没有这样没穿内裤的派对 Ain't no party like a no-panty party
因为没穿内裤的派对不会停 'Cause a no-panty party don't stop
去他妈的内裤 JAMES". 4“ Fuck those panties
去他妈的 ALL: a' Fuck those...
去他妈的内裤 JAMES: (DISTANTLY) ? Fuck those panties
去他妈的内裤 JAMES". 4“ Fuck those panties a'
什么不受孩子欢迎 What's not kid-friendly?
有很多尖锐的边缘固体的 尖锐的边 There's a lot of sharp edges. Concrete, sharp edges.
他要把他的脑袋打开 DAVID: He's gonna bust his head open on one of those things.
一个孩子可能会他妈的 从这掉下去 A kid could fall off this fucking railing right here.
所以这就是为什么你有栏杆 所以他们就不会掉下去了 That's why you have the railing, so they don't fall.
嘿 对不起 某天我想要一些孩子 Hey. Sorry. I want to have kids one day.
嘿 杰 哦 嘿 嗨 乔纳 Hey, Jay. Oh, hey, hi, Jonah.
这附近有地 我可以去买盒烟么 Is there any place around here I can buy a pack of cigarettes?
是的 Yeah.
有一个地方 大概四个街区远 There's a place like, it's like, four blocks away, maybe.
你想和我一起去么 You want to come with me?
给我这么多时间 那么多时间 Give me this much time. That much joint time.
哦 (WOMAN GASPS) Oh!
天啊 嘿 杰 Jesus! Hey,Jay.
嘿 你想要用厕所 宝贝 继续 Hey, you need to use the toilet, honey? Go ahead.
不 我 对不起 Nope, I'm... lsorry.
谁想要啜一下 该啜的时候了 Who wants a sip? Sip time.
你好么 老兄 You okay, man?
没什么 只是 你懂得 It's nothing. It's just, you know,
我们一到了那 你就做了那些你保证不做的事 as soon as we got there, you did what you said you wouldn't do.
我做了什么 你的把我抛弃了 What did I do? You just fucking ditched my ass.
我没有抛弃你 你在逗我吗 老兄 I didn't ditch you. Are you kidding me, man?
我没有抛弃你 I did not ditch you.
我在跟乔纳说话 然后你就出去 抽烟去了 I was talking to Jonah, and then you left to go have a cigarette.
好吧 你懂得 我抽烟是一个借口 Well, you know, my cigarette was an excuse.
我真的想到外面去 因为乔纳就是一根刺 I really went outside 'cause Jonah was being a prick.
乔纳不是刺 Jonah was not being a prick.
如果有的话 你才是一根刺 If anything, you were kind of being a prick.
乔纳是最好的家伙 老兄 Jonah's the nicest guy ever, man.
哦 我的天 那真是虚伪的友好 Oh, my God, that's a thin veneer of kindness.
没有人那么好 Nobody's that nice.
乔纳有那么好 Jonah is that nice.
连环杀手有那么好 Serial killers are that nice.
就回答我一个问题 Just answer me one question.
迈克尔的屁眼跟我描述的一样可爱么 Is Michael Cera's butthole as adorable as I pictured?
哦 为了他妈的利益 Oh, for fuck's sake.
我把它描述成一种小甜甜圈 I picture it looking like a little donut,
就像那种粉红色的甜甜圈 like a little pink sprinkled donut.
哦 这太亮了 Oh, it's so bright in here.
太亮了 It is fucking bright.
哦 我太兴奋了 Oh, I'm so high.
那有那么多的可口的选择 我该怎么办 There's so many delicious choices. What do I do?
我要找点东西喝 好的 I'm gonna get something to drink. Okay.
请问 我的女儿 Excuse me, would it be possible
可以用下你的厕所么 for my daughter to use your restroom?
她真的憋不住了 She's really got to go.
看门上的牌子 只能顾客用 Read the sign. Customers only.
真的么 Seriously?
那你他妈的认为 我放那个牌子干嘛 Why the fuck you think I put up the sign?
没事的 爸爸 我能憋着的 DAUGHTER: It's okay, Dad. I can hold it.
我们给你妈妈买点什么东西 FATHER: Let's just buy something for your mother.
是啊 好吧我觉得你好点了 嗯 CASHIER: Yeah, well, I guess you better, huh?
收银台的大妈是个吝音鬼 This cash register lady is mean.
我有点焦虑 你能给我买这个么 I have anxiety. Will you buy this for me?
当我有点恍惚的时候 我不能付账 When I'm stoned, I can't do this.
我认为我要回你的地方去 I think I'm just gonna head back to your place.
我真的不是很喜欢待在弗兰科那 I'm not really liking it very much over there at Franco's.
老兄 我想让你认识这些人 如果你永远不做出点努力 Dude, I want you to get to know these guys. That's never gonna happen
那就永远不合群 好么 if you don't put in any effort whatsoever, okay?
我讨厌那 I hate it in there.
我只想喝点汽水 然后抽点大麻 I just want to drink some pop and smoke some weed.
怎么回事 What about...
我怎么了 What about me?
你还好么 Are you okay? Are you okay?
你刚才看到了么 Did you just see that?
该死的怎么回事 What the hell?
哦 我的天啊 耶稣 耶稣啊 跑 跑 跑 Oh, my God, Jesus,Jesus! Run, run, run!
这边 好的 好的 好的 This way! Qkav, okay, okay!
哦 我的天 哦 哦 Oh, my God! Oh, oh...
哦 耶稣啊 (CAR HORN HONKS) Oh, Jesus.
跑 Run!
耶稣基督啊 Jesus Christ!
你特妈的为什么把我带到这来 Why the fuck did you bring me down here?
次奥 赛斯 我不知道发生什么了 The fuck, Seth? I don't know what's happening!
我们要回弗兰科那去 为什么 We're going back to Franco's. Why?
跑就是了 一直跑 SETH: Just run! Keep running!
哦 我次奥 JAY: Oh, my fuck!
我们要回到弗兰科那去 We are going back to Franco's!
哦 上帝该死的 Oh, God damn it.
耶稣啊 哦 该死 Jesus! Oh, shit!
这边 我们马上到了 我们已经很接近了 This way. We're almost there! We're so close!
嘿 你们俩还好么 Hey, you guys okay?
你们俩家伙还好么 Are you guys Okay?
他妈的地震了 你们这帮人感觉到了么 There was a crazy earthquake. Did you guys feel that?
那太疯狂了 次奥 没有 That was insane. Fuck,no.
在这我们什么也没感觉到 We can't feel anything in here.
这个地方就他妈的是个堡垒 This place is a fucking fortress.
那不是地震 老兄 That wasn't an earthquake, man.
只是有点他妈的摇摇晃晃 不 That was something way fucking crazier. No...
什么比地震还摇晃 What's crazier than an earthquake?
天上出现很多蓝色的光束 There were beams of blue light coming out of the sky
然后人们都被吸到天上去了 and people getting sucked up into the sky.
他磕药了 He's on hallucinogens. (ALL LAUGHING)
好了 伙计们别欺负杰 他是一个甜心 Come on, guys. Don't bully Jay. He's a sweetheart.
继续 老兄 你在说什么 Keep going, man. What are you talking about?
有很多人 他们在那 There were people, and they were there,
他们被吸到天上去了 and they got sucked up into the sky.
杰被吸到天上去了 SETH: Jay. Sucked up into the sky?
这里没有人被吸走 Nobody got sucked up in here.
我在这被吸了 I got sucked off here.
不 好了 问问赛斯他 No, okay, ask Seth. He was...
你在那的 告诉他们 You were there. Tell them.
赛斯 他的在说什么 Seth, what the fuck's he talking about?
我真的不知道他在说什么 I have no idea what he's talking about honestly.
有人被吸到天上去了么 Did anybody get sucked up into the sky?
我什么也没看到 SETH: I didn't see anything.
我不知道他在说什么 I don't know what he's talking about.
你在那和我待在一起的 你在说什么 JAY: You were there with me. What are you saying?
所有和我们在商店的人 他们都消失了 All those people that were in the store with us, they just fucking vanished.
我没有看到蓝光把人们吸到天上去 I didn't see blue light sucking people up in the sky.
你听起来疯了 老兄 我们应该庆幸我们 You sound crazy, man. We should just be lucky we're...
还没完 It's not over! (RUMBLING)
没事的 放松 SETH: It's okay. Just relax.
大家 都没事的 只是小震动 派对继续 Everyone, it's all right. Just a little tremor. Party's still going.
快餐店的车十分钟后来 In-N-Out truck's coming in 10 minutes.
是的 动物风格 MAN: Yes. JAMES: Animal style!
哦 我勒个擦 Oh, my fuck! (ALL SCREAMING)
我们走 我们走 我们走 快走 快走 MAN: Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! WOMAN: Move! Move!
走 走 走 走 这个地方是安全的 Move, move, move, move! This place is safe!
这个地方不安全 KEVIN: This place is not safe!
克雷格 你去哪 老兄 Craig, where you going, man?
是他妈的地震 次奥 It's a fucking ea?hquake! Fuck!
走 走 走 快点 闪开路 走啊 姑娘 Move, move, move, come on! Get out of my way. Move, girl!
哦 我的天 赛斯 哦 该死 JAMES: Oh, my God, Seth! SETH: Oh, shit!
赛斯 怎么回事 JAMES: Seth. What the fuck?
别去草地上 大家不要上草地 JAMES: Don't go on the grass, not everybody on the grass!
怎么回事 What the fuck?
哦 天啊 Oh, God!
他妈的发生什么事了 What the fuck is happening? Paul!
怎么回事 What's happening?
好了 大家 听着 听好了 All right, everybody, listen up. Listen up.
谁他么把我手机拿走了 老兄 Who took my fucking cell phone, man?
马丁 把你口袋掏出来 什么 Martin, empty your pockets! What?
我看到你在浴室里 老兄 来人给我打个电话 I saw you in the bathroom, man! Somebody dial my phone!
特妈的闭嘴 难以置信 Shut the fuck up! It's unbelievable!
我把可卡因浪费了 你接受不了 It's unacceptable after all the coke I've wasted on you people.
我把它扔了 I've thrown it away.
我他妈的没有拿你的手机 I didn't take your fucking cell phone.
哇哦 哇哦 哇哦 迈克 310... Whoa, whoa, whoa! Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike...
我的脸啊 My face!
我怎么了 怎么回事 What's happening to me? What's happening?
哦 我的天 Oh, my God!
哦 该死 太丢人了 Oh, shit, that's embarrassing.
把你的脚给我 Please give me your foot!
哦 我的天啊 Oh, my God!
克雷格 克雷格 救我 我要抓不住了 Craig, Craig, help me. I'm losing my grip!
来不及救你了 你已经在洞里了 It's too late for you! You're already in the hole!
你特妈的在说什么 What the fuck are you talking about?
给我闪开路 CRAIG: Get the fuck out of my way!
哦 Oh!
对不起 Sorry.
赛斯 快点 到房子里去 快点 赛斯 Seth, come on! Get in the house! Come on, Seth!
哦 我的天 我要死了 Oh, my God, I'm gonna die!
哦 该死 凯文 凯文 Oh, shit! Kevin! Kevin!
他妈的怎么回事 What the fuck?
吉兹 滚开我这 吉兹 Geez, get the fuck off me, Aziz!
喔 喔 喔 Ow, ow, ow!
干你妹 凯文 Fuck you, Kevin! (SCREAMING)
哦 天啊 不 把你的手拿开 Oh, God, no, get your fucking hands off me!
你他妈的 Get your fucking...
不 No! (SCREAMS)
杰 我要撑不住了 Jay, I can't hold on much longer.
你要爬到上面抓住我 你听到了么 You have to reach out and grab me. You hear?
好的 额 你抓住我的手 然后我把你推上去 Okay, uh, you take my hand, and I will swing you up.
你确定么 你要抓住我全身的重量 Are you sure? I'm gonna give you my whole weight.
我要接住你 好么 好的 好的 I'm gonna reach for you, all right? Yeah, yeah.
你确定你能做到 Are you sure you can do that?
数到三我就抓住你 I can grab you on three.
一 二 三 One, two, three.
好的 伙计 All right, buddy.
现在我要 我要摇晃了 Now I'm gonna, I'm gonna swing across.
我抓到你了 伙计 I got you, buddy-
你要撑住我全身的重量 整个体重 You're gonna hold my weight, all of it.
好的 来吧 Okay, come on.
你能承受得了我整个体重 我能做到的 You can hold on to my full weight? I can do it.
我不想死 好的 I don't want to die. Okay.
一 二 二 三 One, two... Two, three.
不 No! (SCREAMS)
不 不 No! No!
哦 老兄 Oh, man.
次奥 Fuck.
该死的 发生什么了 Holy shit! What happened?
杰 你还活着 杰 Jay, you're alive. Jay.
哦 感谢上帝 杰 我还没死 Oh, thank God, Jay. I'm not dead yet.
我跟你们这帮家伙说了 不要到外面去 JAMES: I told you guys not to go outside.
刚刚发生什么了 What just happened?
耶稣基督啊 他们都死了 Jesus Christ, they are all fucking dead.
我跟你们说过 不要跑到外面去 JAMES: I told you guys not to run outside.
你还好么 (PANTING) You all right?
我试着救阿齐兹 我试了 (SOBBING) I tried to save Aziz. I tried.
你已经尽力了 老兄 我爱你 (SOBBING) You did your best, man. I love you.
为什么你们这帮家伙 他妈的跑到外面去 Why the fuck did you guys run out there?
你知道么 詹姆斯 你能把声音放低一点么 You know what, James, can you lower your voice?
你吓到了杰 You're freaking out Jay!
或许我也有点吓到了 Maybe I'm a little freaked out, too!
他没有你那么强壮 他们都掉下去了 He's not as strong as you. JAY: They all fell in.
看看我的房子 我试着救他们 他们都掉下去了 JAMES: Look at my house! JAY: I tried to save them. They all fell in.
把你的手的从我身上拿开乔纳 别再碰我 (JONAH SHUSHING) Get your fucking hands off me. Jonah, stop touching me.
我们能给杰拿点水么 Can we get Jay some water, please?
我们能给他拿点水么 Can we get him some hydration?
他需要水 水不管用 He needs to be hydrated. SETH: The water's not working!
每个人都跑出门去 Everyone just runs out the door!
我的电话坏了 My phone is dead.
伙计们 网络也不能用 Guys, the fucking lnternet's not working!
我们看看电视 我们看下新闻怎么说 Let's watch the TV. Let's check the news.
电视在哪 JAY: Where is the TV?
在地板中 在地板中 It's in the floor. In the floor?
哦 那酷毙了 是啊 酷啊 嗯 CRAIG: Oh, that's dope. JAMES: Yeah, cool, huh?
那真是太棒了 That's really neat.
令人难忘啊 詹姆斯 That is impressive, James.
洛杉矶历史上最大的地震 The biggest earthquake to ever hit Los...
当局督促人们现在待在自己的家里 Officers urging people to stay in their homes right now.
另外抢劫和骚乱的报道 And also reports of looting and rioting
蔓延及整个城市 are spreading across the city.
骚乱 Riots.
警察寡不敌众 Police are pretty much outnumbered
人们好像都变了一个人 as people are turning to one another.
现在已经宣布戒严 Martial law has now been declared.
空军一号已经来了 Air Force One has gone down...
该死没信号了 伙计们 Shit. It's gone, guys.
所以我认为我们应该 (STAMMERS) So I think we should...
我认为我们或许应该 回你的地方 嗯 I think we should probably go back to your place, eh?
你在说什么 老兄 What are you talking about, man?
不 不行 我不离开这 No, no way. I'm not leaving here.
我不想死在詹姆斯·弗兰科的房子里 I don't want to die at James Franco's house.
你听到电视上怎么说的 SETH: You heard the TV.
电视上说待在这 它说待在你的房子里 The TV said stay here. It said stay in your homes.
我们要待在这 直到他们开始救援 好么 We need to stay here until they start rescuing people, okay?
发生了巨大的地震 他们会先救谁 A huge earthquake happens. Who do they rescue first?
演员 名人 Actors. SETH: Famous people.
他们会救克鲁尼 Sandra Bullock 我 They'll get Clooney, Sandra Bullock, me.
如果那有空间 你们就来 If there's room, you guys'll come.
重点是 我们都要先离开这 The point is, is that we're all gonna get out of this first.
这他妈的是什么 CRAIG: What the hell was that?
外面已经全乱了 伙计们 SETH: It's already going crazy out there, guys.
我们不能走 我不走 好么 我是受害者 We can't leave. I'm not leaving, okay? I'm a victim.
我要以一个受害者的心态度过我的一生 人们会知道我的 I've had a victim's mentality my whole life. People can smell it on me.
当我还是个孩子 我有成人的乳房 When I was a kid, I had man-titties.
地痞欺负我 他们的让我给乳交 The bullies held me down, they tittie-fucked me.
现在那就是外面发生的事 That's what's happening out there right now.
没错 我们都弱 That's right, we are all soft.
是啊 我们都弱 Yeah. We are all soft!
我们是演员 我们要假装很硬朗 老兄 We are actors! We pretend to be hard, man.
是啊 我们的就跟婴儿一样弱 JAMES: Yeah. We soft as baby shit.
就像婴儿 等下克雷格 你在干嘛 老兄 As baby shit, soft as... Wait, Craig, what are you doing, man?
嘿 嘿 你在干嘛 你要对那些画干嘛 老兄 Hey, hey, what are you doing? What are you doing to the painting, man?
我们要用这些板 老兄 用这些板 We got to board this shit up, man. Board it up?
我们要保护我们自己 我们不知道 We got to protect ourselves. We don't know
我们在这要待多久 好吧 冷静 how long we gonna be in here. Okay, chill.
外面有浣熊 强盗还有狗屎 There's raccoons, and bandits, and shit out there.
你要听我的 老兄 如果你闪开 This is Obey, man! If you get out the way!
这是我的最喜欢的画 你在干什么 克雷格 This is my favorite fucking painting! What are you doing, Craig?
伙计们 帮忙 Guys, help.
帮忙 帮忙 闪开 Help. Help. Get off.
冷静 看 Chill. Look.
直升飞机 Helicopter! Helicopter!
他们来这了 我们没事了 要没事了 The good guys are here. We're fine! It's gonna be fine.
该死的 (SCREAMS) God damn!
哦 天啊该死的 (ALL GASPING) CRAIG: Oh! God damn!
喔 该死 OW! Shit!
你还好么 You Okay?
不 我不好 No, I'm not okay!
去你妹的房子 弗兰科 Fuck your house, Franco!
不是我的房子干的 啊 My house didn't do that! Aah!
啊哦 (SIZZLES) Ow.
你就没有工具箱或者别的什么 只有一个工具箱 You don't got a tool kit or nothing? Just a toolbox?
我不知道 看看那里 I don't know. Look in there.
这狗屎的边在哪 Where's the edge of this shit?
你的拇指在我的屁眼里 老兄 SETH: Your thumb's in my butthole, man.
哇哦 Whoa.
你们需要这个玩意儿么 Y'all need this dick?
不 我们不用它 No, we're not using it.
好的 我要把这个拿走 All right, I'm gonna take it over here.
小心点弄那个玩意儿 该死 JAMES: Careful with that dick. Damn.
太沉了 It's heavy.
好了 现在拿到那个玩意儿了 There it is, got that dick now.
JB来喽 That dick is coming now.
是啊 拿到这个大JB了 Yeah, got this big dick.
哇哦 哇哦 哇哦 嘿 嘿 JAMES: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey, hey.
现在怎么办 听着 What now? Listen.
不要拿Rogen 好么 别动他 Not the Rogen, all right? Don't take him.
用我 Take me.
我们有12瓶水 56瓶啤酒 2瓶伏特加 We got 12 bottles of water, 56 beers, two vodkas,
4瓶威士忌 6瓶葡萄酒 龙舌兰 巧克力酱 four whiskeys, six bottles of wine, tequila, Nutella,
奶酪 披萨 鸡蛋 香蕉 苹果 培根 牛排 cheese, pizza, eggs, bananas, apples, bacon, steaks,
贝蒂妙厨班戟粉 CT Crunch 牛奶 番茄酱 一包 Milky Way pancake mix, CT Crunch, milk, ketchup, a Milky Way,
半盎司酸柴油 3 5克大师粉 half ounce Sour Diesel, three and a half grams Grand Master Kush,
一盎司蘑菇 15个摇头丸 one ounce of 'shrooms, 15 pills of ecstasy,
一本色情杂志 一个棒球棒 a porno mag, a baseball bat,
还有能拍27小时电影的录像机 and the video camera from the movie 27 Hours.
127个小时 127 Hours.
啊 Uh...
127个小时 127 Hours.
还有从电影空军里拿来的可用的左轮手枪 And a functioning revolver from the movie Flyboys.
老实泉（美国黄石国家公园的间歇泉） Old Faithful.
天啊 这是真枪 Jesus. Thing's real.
不 我从电影道具那拿来的好啊 No, I kept this from the movie. Yeah.
这是一把真的左轮手枪 我看到了 This is an actual revolver. I see.
弗兰科 这很不舒服 Franco, that's very uncomfortable.
你能把那个放下么 Could you put that down, please?
装弹了的 Loaded.
最爱了 真棒 JONAH: Love it. Awesome.
你能把那枪拿到一边么 我总是带着我的家伙 Can you just put the gun away? I always keep my props.
那真酷 总是带着我的家伙 That's really cool. Always keep my props.
我知道怎么用 I know how to handle it.
他知道他在干什么 我喜欢这一点 He knows what he's doing. I like this bit.
我喜欢它 我拿着它 让我看看 I like it. I get it. Let me see.
是真的 挺沉的 让我看看是不是 It's real. It's heavy. Let me see it like that.
该死的 来啊 伙计们 God damn! SETH: Come on, guys!
你会走火的 小心 You could kill... JAMES: Careful.
砰 砰 耶稣啊 Bang,bang! JAY: Jesus!
求你 把它放下 哦 次奥 Please, put it down! Oh, fuck!
砰 砰 砰 你们都死了 Bang,bang,bang. You're dead.
我希望你的高兴了 砰 砰 砰 Ihope you're fucking happy. Pow, pow, pow.
停下 伙计们 别动那个枪了 Stop... Guys, stop fucking with the gun.
耶稣啊 耶稣啊 砰 砰 Jesus!Jesus! Pow, pow.
是把真枪 砰 It's a real gun! Bang.
太有意思了 太有意思了 It's so funny. It's so funny.
伙计们 太有意思了 没意思 Guys, it's funny. JAY: It's not funny!
我们转移话题了 We're getting sidetracked.
对不起 对不起 I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
我要自杀不 I'll just kill myself. ALL: No!
不要那么做 乔纳 耶稣啊 Don't do that, Jonah! JAY: Jesus.
哦 不 乔纳 把它还给我 Oh, no. Jonah, give it back.
我不知道 我不知道 不要那么做 I don't know! I don't know. Don't do that.
乔纳 我太 JAMES: Jonah. I'm so...
哦 我的天啊 嘿 哦 老兄 JAY: Oh, my God. Hey. CRAIG: Oh, dude.
好了 不 不 不要 耶稣啊 JAY: Come on, no, no. Don't. Jesus!
你能把那玩意放下么 整个 Would you put the thing down? The whole...
我在想办法找点乐子 老兄 I'm trying to have some fun, man.
好吧 好吧 耶稣啊 Okay, okay, Jesus.
听着 就因为一大堆人掉到了外面的坑里 JONAH: Look, just because a bunch of people fell into a hole outside
并不意味着我们不能找乐子 doesn't mean we can't have some fun.
我们是最好的朋友一起玩 就像彻夜狂欢 We're a bunch of best friends hanging out. It's like a sleepover.
好了 食物我们要怎么分这些 Okay, food. How are we gonna deal with this?
额 Um...
我能拿那个Milky Way么 Can I have that Milky Way?
不 你不能拿那个Milky Way No, you can't have the Milky Way.
那是我的Milky Way这有很多 什么 That's my Milky Way. There's a bunch... What?
我今天早上出去 I went out this morning,
专门买了这个Milky Way为了我的派对之后吃的 specifically bought this Milky Way to eat after my party.
那真怪异 That's weird.
不奇怪 那是我的特别食物 It's not weird. It's my special food.
我喜欢吃 那是我的储备 赛斯 I like it. Back me up on that, Seth.
我觉得你不能把整个Milky Way都拿走 I don't think you should get the whole Milky Way.
我想要一些Milky Way I want some of the Milky Way.
我真的会很难过 如果我没有吃到一口Milky Way I'd be pretty bummed if I don't at least get a bite of the Milky Way.
哦 现在克雷格想吃一口 Oh! Now Craig wants a bite of the Milky Way.
是啊 我想吃一口Milky Way 这特么的是Milky Way啊 Yeah, I want a bite of the Milky Way. It's a fucking Milky Way.
每人五分之一是公平合理的 A fifth of everything is what's fair and reasonable.
所有人拿所有东西的五分之一 Everyone gets a fifth of everything.
我想要你的衬衫的五分之一 I want one-fifth of your T-shirt!
我想要最下面的部分 肚子那 I want the bottom part, the belly.
我不是你房子里被取笑的主题 I'm not sporting a crop top in your house.
我要把那东西剪了 然后做一个头巾 I'll cut that shit off and make a headband.
你不能动我肚子那 You couldn't handle my midriff.
伙计们 唯一的问题是 我想要那Milky Way Guys, the only issue is, I kind of need the Milky Way.
我他妈求你了 For fuck's sake.
不 真的 我有低血糖 No, for real, I have low blood sugar,
如果我的血糖值过低了 and if my endorphins drop too low,
我将成为这附近的一个噩梦 I'm gonna be a nightmare to be around.
什么 你的LBS开始不正常了 What? Your LBS starts acting up,
你可以吃一勺花生酱 好么 you can have a finger scoop of Nutella, okay?
一勺花生酱 公平 One finger scoop of Nutella. Fair.
我要去睡觉了 I'm going to bed.
去他妈的耶稣 Jesus fucking...
别碰那个 乔纳 Don't touch that Milky Way, Jonah.
晚安 詹姆斯 Night, James.
哦 天啊 不 MAN: (IN DISTANCE) Oh, God, no!
次奥 (WHISPERING) Fuck.
嘿 嘿 Hey- Hey-
我要和你一起睡 I'm gonna sleep with you.
什么 我和一起睡 What? I'm gonna sleep with you.
自己睡太害怕了 It's too scary to sleep alone.
这是我的小空间 But this is my little area.
好吧 我侵占了你的小地方 Well, I'm invading your little area.
对不起 但是我太害怕了 好么 I'm sorry, but I'm too scared, okay?
你生我气了么 老兄 Are you mad at me, man?
如果我生你气 If I was pissed at you,
我确定就会什么都不做 I'm sure it would have something to do
实际上我对来这个房子 with the fact that I had no interest
一点兴趣都没有 in coming to this house socially,
现在 我和一堆我确实讨厌的人 and now, lam barricaded in here
被困在这了 with a bunch of people that I really hate.
也许这是注定的 Maybe this was meant to be.
或许这个可怕的 可怕的 要命的地震发生后 Maybe this horrible, horrible, deadly earthquake happened
然后我们就能成为关系更近的朋友 so we could become closer as a group of friends.
我不需要合群 我就像DMX 老兄 我是一匹孤独的狼 I don't need a group. I'm like DMX, man. I'm a lone wolf.
DMX不是孤独的狼 DMX isn't a lone wolf.
DMX有Ruff Ryder队员 DMX has the Ruff Ryder crew.
你不能停下 倒下 然后自己重新开一个商店 You can't stop, drop, and open up shop alone.
在这种地震的灾难情况下 你需要人们帮助你 You need people to help you in an earthquake disastery situation.
这是别的什么 这是审判日 It was something else. It was Judgment Day.
就像终结者2 Like Terminator 2?
不 不是终结者2 天啊 哎呀 No, not like Terminator 2. For God's sakes.
就像天网 你觉得这是天网 Like Skynet? You think this is Skynet?
就像 天网有意识了 不 Like, Skynet went live? No.
你能不说"天网"么 Will you please stop saying "Skynet"?
好吧 是你说审判日的 Well, you're the one that said Judgment Day.
圣经最后的审判日 The biblical Judgment Day.
什么 太疯狂了只是 What? That's crazy. It's just...
你的异教徒 You fucking heathen.
好吧 这就是问题 Okay, here's the thing.
我们先说一下 有蓝色的光 Let's say for a second there was blue light
把人们吸到天上 sucking people up into the sky.
那意味着我们不够好 去不了天堂 That means that we were not awesome enough to go to heaven.
次奥 次奥 (FOOTSTEPS THUDDING) Shit! Shit.
你们都在干嘛 What y'all doing?
干你妹的 克雷格 Fuck you, Craig.
我被吓到了 被我自己吓到了 I'm scared. It's scary by myself.
更多人在一起更好 It's way better with more people.
我要到下面这来 I'm gonna come down here.
哦 好吧 很好 好耶 到这来 老兄 SETH: Oh, yeah, good, yeah. Get in here, man.
去那 Get right in there.
那么 你要 So, you're gonna...
就在 就这 Right here. Right here.
我实际上觉得更好了 我喜欢 I feel better, actually. I like that.
人越多越好 It's better with more people.
嘿 伙计们 Hey, guys...
耶稣基督啊 耶稣啊 JAY: Jesus Christ. SETH: Jesus!
对不起弗兰科有这个疯狂的组合肋板 Sorry. Franco has this crazy open floor plan.
我能听到你们这帮家伙说的每一个词 I can hear every word you guys are saying.
如果挺酷的话 我不妨也加入你们进来 I might as well hang with you guys if that's cool.
很好 暖和了 Nice. Coming in hot.
我要从你这拿一下毯子 I gonna grab a blanket from you.
把毯子给我 Give me that blanket.
到中间去 很好 Get in the middle of it. That's good.
就是这样 现在感觉更安全了 伙计们 That's it. It feels so much more safe now, guys.
这真好 It's nice here.
我们要成勺子状么 是啊 你想么 Should we spoon it? Yeah, you want to?
不 想走 No! Want to go...
JJ对屁股 不 Dick to butt? No.
我的屁股对着你 那么杰 My butt to you and then Jay.
我不想屁股对着JJ对着任何东西 I don't want to butt to dick to anything.
你要和我对接 你在向我这边靠拢 Are you docking into me? You're doing tip to me?
那么你在干什么 Or what are you doing?
我们应该屁股对屁股或者JB Should we go butt to butt or dick to...
赛斯和我要屁股对屁股 Seth and I are gonna go ass to ass.
你想要面对面么 Do you want to go front to front?
不 我很好只是JB立起来了 No, I'm fine just going dicks up.
JB立起来了 Dicks up?
我想我要JB对屁股 你知道么 I think I'm going dick to ass. You know what?
我要变成疤面煞星的风格 I'm going Scarf ace-style.
你们俩 等下 是的 Both of you guys. Wait, yeah.
我们就这样吧 好的 There we go. Yeah.
这是最好的办法 This is the best way.
晚安 兄弟们 Good night, boys.
晚安 晚安 Good night. Good night.
晚安 伙计们 Good night, guys.
晚安 我最好的伙伴们 晚安 Night, my sweet guys. Good night.
做个好梦 伙计们 CRAIG: Sweet dreams, fellas.
Livin' on fat pockets on flat wit tha gat
Rollin' around a nine deuce Cadillac
Still got my homies to watch my back
And they'll smoke ya ass if you wanna come and chat
Why wallow when you come to roll on? I put the clip
And before I bring ya ass on
Kickin' dust on your head like I bust
My grip surrounded, I'm about...
次奥 耶 Fuck,yeah.
When tha shit goes down ya better be ready
When tha shit goes down
When tha shit goes down ya better be ready
When tha shit goes down
When tha shit goes down ya better be ready
Ya better be ready
弗兰科 早上好 阳光很好 Franco! Good morning, sunshine.
伙计们 伙计们 起来 Guys! Guys! Wake up!
丹尼还活着 他正吃着所有的事物 Danny's alive! He's eating all the fucking food!
不 丹尼 老兄 不要 No! Danny, man, don't.
不 这挺酷的 老兄 我给你们这帮家伙做的 No, it's cool, man. I fucking made this for you guys.
不准再吃 Stop eating!
不准再吃一块培根 Don't eat another piece of bacon.
伙计们 冷静一下 好么 Guys, just chill the fuck out, okay?
我肯定绿色加布林能提供更多的培根 I'm sure the Green Goblin can fucking afford some more bacon.
老兄 那么是我们等待救援前 最后的吃的 Dude, that shit's supposed to last us till we get rescued!
等一下 我知道发生什么了 Wait a second. I know what happened.
你们这帮家伙磕药了 对么 嗯哼 You guys dropped acid, didn't you? Mmm-hmm.
克雷格没有穿内裤 他真疯狂 Craig doesn't have any pants on. He got fucking wild.
可能跳舞了 汗流的到处都是 Probably danced, sweated all over the place.
你满嘴喷粪 弗兰科 You got white shit all over your mouth, Franco.
你或许给某个人吹了一管 You probably sucked somebody's dick.
乔纳在这可能看到打飞机 Jonah over here probably watched and jerked off.
杰 我都不知道你来市里了 很高兴见到你 Jay, I didn't even know you were in town. Good to see you.
丹尼 我们不是基佬 我们才不会互相口交 Danny, we're not on acid. We didn't suck each other's dicks!
詹姆斯·弗兰科昨晚没有做任何口交 James Franco didn't suck any dick last night?
现在我知道你们都是幻觉了 Now I know y'all are tripping.
你实际上不知道昨晚发生了什么 You actually not know what happened last night?
丹尼尔 你可能会想多坐一会 Daniel, you may want to stay seated for a second.
一些真的混乱的事情发生了 Some really messed-up stuff happened,
而且有很多人死亡 and there were a lot of fatalities.
哦 真的么 你在用很认真的声音说 乔纳 Oh, really? You're putting your serious voice on, Jonah?
好的 跟我说说这些"死亡" Okay, tell me about these "fatalities."
老兄 席格尔死了 迈克尔死了 Dude, Segel's dead, Krumholtz is dead, Michael Cera's dead.
我猜如果迈克尔死了 那算不上什么损失 嗯 Guess if Michael Cera's gone, it's not a total loss, huh? (LAUGHS)
耶稣啊 丹尼 迈克尔死了 JAY: Jesus, Danny. Michael Cera's dead.
什么 不是那样的吧 What? It's not like that.
那样没意思 老兄 真的没意思 It's not funny, man. It's really not funny.
赛斯 你的表演比你 Seth, that's a better performance
在最后六部电影里的表演好多了 than you've given in your last six movies.
是的在青蜂侠中 嗯 Where the tuck was that "m Green Hornet, huh'?
乔纳 你就是特么的基佬 Jonah, you're fucking sucking balls.
你是成人AV奖提名人 You're an Academy Award nominated person.
你需要他妈的宣传那个 老兄 You need to be fucking selling that shit, dude.
灾祸 大量人员死亡 (DRAMATICALLY) "Fatalities. There were some fatalities."
灾祸 Fatalities.
好了 现在这个比较好 这个比较好 Okay, now that was good. That was good.
我们TM像是在开玩笑 Does it seem like we're fucking joking?
嘿 嘿 嘿 你特么的在吃什么 老兄 Hey,hey,hey! What the fuck you eating, man?
给我吐出来 给我培根 Spit it out your mouth. Give me the bacon! (GUYS GROANING)
该死 (WHISPERING) Shit.
该死 我们怎么做 Shit, what do we do?
射他们 射他们 射他们 CRAIG: Shoot 'em! Shoot 'em! Shoot 'em!
我应该开枪么 JAMES: Should I shoot?
闭嘴 弗兰科 射门 弗兰科 JAY: Shut up, Franco! CRAIG: Shoot the door, Franco!
哦 天啊 Oh, God!
你们没有听到我在外面砸门么 我一直在砸 Did you not hear me knocking out here? I've been knocking forever.
求你们 求你们 你们要让我进去 Please! Please! You've got to let me in!
等一下 怎么办 Hang on a second. What?
伙计们 我知道听起来有点怪异 (WHISPERING) Guys, I know it sounds really weird,
但是我认为我们不应该让他进来 but I don't think we should let him in.
为什么不让 Why not?
是啊 为什么不让 顺便说下 我能听见你 Yeah, why not? I can hear you, by the way.
对不起 我们只是不认识你 老兄 I'm sorry. We just don't know you, man.
你或许是个 抢劫犯 或者强奸犯 或者是个乳交变态 You could be like, a looter, or a rapist, or a tittie-fucker.
就像 对不起 Like, I'm sorry.
听着 伙计们 我们封了这个房子 让所有人都在外面 Look, guys, we just boarded up this whole house to keep everyone out,
现在第一个家伙到门这来了 我们要让他进来么 and the first guy comes to the door, we're gonna let him in?
我是说 我们怎么知道 我们能相信这个家伙呢 I mean, how do we know we can trust this guy?
我想活下去 外面这些东西太疯狂了 I want to live! Things have gone crazy out here!
这里他妈的疯了 这个家伙特妈的疯了 (JABBERING GOOFILY) "Fucking crazy out here!" This guy fucking sucks.
如果他是个强奸犯呢 What if he's the rapist?
老兄 如果他是强奸犯 Man, even if he is a rapist,
他不可能把我们都强奸了啊 是的 不 所以我不 he can't rape all of us. Yeah! No! So I'm not...
我不是强奸犯 你想让我们都给你乳交 I'm not a rapist! You want to tittie-fuck us?
如果你想让我给你乳交 我愿意 那么好 你喜欢这样 If you want me to tittie-fuck you, I will! So good! You'll love it.
赛斯 请在我后面支援 Seth, back me up, please.
我们不能让他在外面就那么死了 你疯了么 We can't just leave him out there to die. Are you crazy?
你们想怎么样 你们想做什么我们就做什么 What do you want to do? I'll do whatever you want to do.
我们投票吧 Let's vote on it.
是啊 我的投你让我进去 Yeah, I fucking vote you let me in.
这是我的意见 都去你妈的 Here's my vote. Fuck all of you.
我让他进来 这真让人烦 I'm letting him in. This is boring.
外面有什么东西 There's something out here!
这是真的 这他妈的都是真的 This is real! This is fucking real!
上帝啊该死的 God damn it!
你们这帮家伙 You guys!
这个家伙几分钟前还活着 This man was alive a few seconds ago.
我们不能用他的头踢足球 We can't play soccer with his head!
捡起来 乔纳 JAMES: Pick it up, Jonah!
他妈的怎么回事 SETH: What the fuck is going on?
他对我眨眼 He blinked at me.
他对着我的脸眨眼 赛斯 把它放到那边 He blinked at my face. Seth, put it over there.
哦 我的天啊 Oh, my God!
我拿到了我拿到了 伙计们 I got it. I got it, guys.
我的地板上都是血 There's blood all over my floor!
是放松一下的时候了 JONAH: Time to relax for a second.
好了 有人需要看看洞外面的情况 Okay, someone should look out the hole.
我才不去看那个洞外面 I ain't looking out that hole!
刚刚有个人从洞口那砍掉了他的头 Last person looked through that hole got his head chopped off!
等下 等下 等下 等下 不管有什么东西在外面或许还在那 Wait, wait, wait, wait. Whatever is out there might still be out there.
好了 我知道 我知道 来吧 来吧 来吧 (WHISPERING) Okay, I know, I know. Come on. Come on. Come on.
哦 天啊 哦 天啊 哦 天啊 JAY: Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.
这有一个缭望台 There's a lookout!
耶稣基督啊 瞧 那有一个巨大的坑在那 Jesus Christ! Look, there's a huge fucking hole down there!
这他妈的是什么 What the fuck is this?
杀了那家伙的东西在哪 Where's the thing that killed the guy?
不知道 I don't know.
他的头怎么掉下来的 How'd his head fall off?
他剩余的部分在哪 And where's the rest of him?
嗨 Hi.
我是詹姆斯·弗兰科 This is James Franco,
在我的家 我的书房 in my house, in my library.
我们已经被困在这里24小时了 We've been stuck here for about 24 hours.
丹尼 布莱德 在这 Danny McBride is here.
我甚至都没请他来我的派对 I didn't even invite him to my party,
但是他来了然后从浴缸里爬出来了 but he came and passed out in the bathtub,
我要说 就像他妈的典型的McBride and I got to say it's, like, typical fucking McBride.
就像 我最近一直感觉他真怪异 Like, I've been feeling really weird about him lately.
就像 我真的不知道是否 我想和他成为朋友 Like, I don't really know if I want to be friends with him,
然后他就TM的出现在我的派对上 and then he fucking showed up at my party,
然后现在 我们和他被困在这灾难中 and now, we're stuck here with him in disaster lockdown, so...
怎么了 干嘛呢 What up? What's going on?
嘿 丹尼 怎么了 老兄 Hey, Danny. What's up, man?
没什么 你在干嘛 这是什么 Not much. What are you doing? What is this?
哦 只是个视频忏悔 Oh, it's just a video confessional.
老兄 去他妈的 Fuck that dude.
地震引起了海啸 是的 JAMES: Earthquakes cause tsunamis. SETH: Yes.
海啸引起了其它的海啸 灾难 JAMES: Tsunamis cause other tsunamis, disaster.
我是说 我们都知道 他妈的湖人队本来能赢得 I mean, for all we know, the fucking Lakers could have just won,
这就是为什么这一切发生了 and that's the reason why all this is happening.
弗兰科家前院的大洞 下沉洞 Hole in Franco's front yard? Sinkhole.
每次我打开新闻 报道南美的下沉洞 Every single time I turn on the news, sinkhole in South America.
大量的南美人被吸到地下去了 Bunch of South Americans getting sucked into the ground.
五月下沉洞 Sinkhole de Mayo. Sinkhole de Mayo.
那就是那名字的原因 That's why it's named that,
因为下沉洞总是发生在夏季 because sinkholes happen in the summertime.
那不是野火 那不是地震 那不是下沉洞 It's not wildfires. It's not earthquakes. It's not sinkholes.
我想我知道是什么 I think I know what it is.
我们听着呢 Let's hear it.
我认为那是天启 I think it's the Apocalypse.
什么 What? (CHUCKLING)
我认真的 伙计们都写在这了 在这本启示录中 I'm serious, boys. It's all in here, in the Book of Revelations.
你拿了我的圣经 You took my Bible?
好吧 听我说就行了 Well, just hear me out,
你告诉我 我描述的 and you tell me that what I'm describing
是不是现在正在发生的 isn't what's going on right now. (CLEARS THROAT)
天空会打开 然后主的光芒照耀下来 "And the skies shall open up, and the light of the Lord shall shine down,
那些好心肠的人将会被带到 我的天空王国 "and those of good heart shall be brought into my kingdom of heaven."
那是勾魂 那些巨大的蓝色光柱 That's the Rapture, those are the gigantic beams of blue light.
还有一所巨大的山燃烧着火焰 "And there will be a great mountain burning in fire."
我是说 好莱坞山被淹没在火焰中 I mean, the Hollywood Hills are literally engulfed in flames
现在我们坐在这 as we sit here right now.
好莱坞山不是山 只是个小丘 The Hollywood Hills ain't no mountain. It's a hill.
10分钟就能转下来 Takes about 10 minutes to get across
那他妈的还没有交通 that motherfucker with no traffic.
我从月桂谷取来的冷水 Goldwater. I take Laurel Canyon.
我通常压缩至Barham 伙计们 我能把这个说完么 I usually zip down Barham. Boys, can I just fucking finish?
我喜欢月桂谷 CRAIG: I love Laurel Canyon.
"深坑的下面有一个红色的七头龙" "And out of the pit rose a great red dragon having seven heads,
还有一条巨蛇叫做恶魔和撒旦 "that old serpent called the devil and Satan,
他欺骗了整个世界 "which deceiveth the whole world,
恶魔被释放到了地球上 "was released onto the earth."
我喜欢那个 老兄 他来自野外 I love that dude. He's from Where the Wild Things Are.
都是胡扯 It's a load of bullshit.
不是胡扯 It's not bullshit.
想知道别的事情么 杰 JAMES: Want to know something else, Jay?
如果这是世界的末日 If this is the end of the world,
所有的好人都死了 and all the good people died,
那么你说赛斯 我 乔纳 克雷格和丹尼 what you're saying is Seth, me, Jonah, Craig and Danny
都是一群混蛋了 are a bunch of assholes.
我是直率可爱的 孩子 I'm straight-up lovable, son.
如果这真的是天启 And if this really is the Apocalypse,
你也在这 you're here, too.
所以 那意味着你跟我们剩下的人 一样差劲 So, that means you're just as shitty as the rest of us.
感觉不太好 对么 Doesn't feel too good, does it?
嘿 伙计们 我现在要睡觉了 Hey, guys. I'm going to sleep now.
都不要进来这烦我 Nobody come in here and bother me.
钓鱼 Go fish.
把它放回这里 Put it back inside of here.
你知道那是什么 是的 Do you know what it is? Yeah.
现在你找我要你需要的东西 Now you ask me for something that you need.
第一块 DAN NY: First bit.
你不能把所有的都切了 SETH: You're not cutting it all?
那很好 你先来分 That's smart. You're divvying it up first.
这就像 Fruyere或者什么玩意那是我 This is like, Fruyere or some shit. That's me.
快点 丹尼 Come on, Danny!
你舔了你的手纸 快点 老兄 You licked your finger. Come on, man.
如果都平均的 有什么关系 DANNY: If they're all equal, what does it matter?
把你的手和手纸拿开 CRAIG: Keep your hands and fingers off.
赛斯 嗯 Seth? Yeah.
我能跟你说一下话么 好的 好的 Can I talk to you for a second? Yeah, yeah.
好的 不瞎扯 Yeah, no shit.
给 菜单之外的 我的哥们 Here. Off the menu, my man.
我勒个擦 老兄 你从哪弄到这些的 Holy shit, man. Where did you get these?
嘿 奶酪怎么没有饼干呢 知道我说什么吧 Hey, what's cheese without a few crackers? Know what I'm saying?
藏起来 好吧 Hide it. Okay.
因为我们是一伙的 'Cause we're a team.
好的 Okay.
永远的兄弟 Freaks forever, brother.
我们把这些毒品都吸了吧 Let's do all the drugs.
我真的不想要 I don't really want to.
在那之前就能想到 你吸了之后可能一定欲仙欲死 Should have thought of that before you drank a can full of ecstasy.
什么 What?
Gangnam style
Op, op, op, op, oppan Gangnam style
Gangnam style
Op, op, op, op, oppan Gangnam style
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
Eh, sexy lady
Op, Op, 0p
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh
Oppan Gangnam style
I fly like paper, get high like planes
If you catch me at the border I got visas in my name
If you come around here, I make 'em all day
I get one down in a second if you wait...
我们应该打给Red么 再多弄点大麻 Should we call Red? Get more weed?
哦 我不知道 老兄 那个家伙要疯了 Oh, I don't know, man. That guy's gone crazy.
我有很多好的大麻给你们这帮家伙 Good thing I have a lot of fucking weed for you guys.
我让你们这帮家伙上瘾 I hooked you guys UP-
现在我需要你们去 暗杀伍迪 Now I need you guys to assassinate Woody Harrelson.
如果大麻合法化 我的生意就完了 If pot's legalized, my business will suffer.
如果我的生意完了 我就完了 And if my business suffers, I suffer.
这么多痛苦 So much suffering.
这所有的原因都是因为伍迪 All 'cause of that inbred hemp seed, Woody Harrelson.
我必须做什么是正确的事情 I have to do what's right.
大麻是给人们的 这是人们的大麻 Weed is for the people. It's the people's weed.
如果你们不刺杀他 我们就输了 If you don't assassinate him... We already quit.
我要杀了你们俩个 ...I'm gonna assassinate both of you.
跑 快 Run! Go!
小心 该死 Look out! Shit!
你让他们滚开 You're letting them get away! (SCREAMING)
我和史蒂夫·乔布斯一起抽大麻 I smoked weed with Steve Jobs,
那是他想出iPad的时候 and that's when he came up with the iPad.
那真的很棒 (LAUGHTER) It's pretty great.
我们应该给我们的电影 拍更多的续集 We should make sequels to more of our movies.
是的 CRAIG: Yeah!
为什么我们不做 王子殿下2 JAMES". How 'bout we not do Your Highness 2?
是啊 做128个小时 Yeah. Do 128 Hours.
开始你剩下的喜剧 听起来不错 The beginning of the rest of your comedies. Looks good.
哦 我的天 Oh, my God!
艾玛 是艾玛 Emma! It's Emma.
哦 我的天 你们这帮家伙还活着 Oh, my God, you guys are alive.
你真的还活着 感谢老天 You're actually alive. Thank God!
我在排水管道藏了几天 I hid in a drainpipe for days.
大概 三到四天 我都不记得了 Like, three or four. I don't even know how many.
然后我听不到人的声音 And then I stopped hearing people,
我开始听到隆隆响的声音 and I started hearing growling noises.
在外面 你的冒险中 额 Out there, in your travels, uh,
你看到什么东西 did you see anything that you would describe
可以描述为天启的么 as Apocalyptish?
我说 不 I mean, no,
但是 额 我要说这明显发生在这的 but, uh, I would say it's completely obvious what's going on here.
我是说 这是个僵尸入侵 I mean, it's a zombie invasion.
次奥 我是那个说有僵尸的 Fuck! DANNY: I'm the one who said it's been zombies.
你说的僵尸 我一直说的僵尸 You said zombies? I said zombies the whole time.
你说的僵尸 我不这么想 你从未说过僵尸 You said zombies? I don't think... You never said zombies.
等一下 你们这帮家伙还没有证明是对的呢 Wait a second. You guys haven't been proven right.
还有很多理论 These are still just theories.
老实说 你们在这 我就放心多了 Honestly, I'm just so relieved that you guys are here,
我非常高兴能睡一下了 and I'm very happy about the idea of sleeping and just...
你累了 是的 You tired? Yeah.
如果你想休息一下 If you want to take a little rest,
你可以到楼上去 you're welcome to do that upstairs.
谢谢你 真好 Thank you. Cool.
我给你带路 谢谢 JAMES: I'll show you the way. EMMA: Thank you.
谢谢 伙计们 真的 你们真棒 真的 Thanks, guys. Seriously, you're awesome, really.
你们真棒 You're awesome. (CHUCKLES)
真他妈的好 So fucking tight.
我们就在外面这 好么 We'll be right out here, okay?
你们他妈的在这干什么 (WHISPERS) Fuck are you guys doing out here?
我在想我们应该怎么办她是英国人 对么 Here's what I think we should do. She's British, right?
她经常吃一些垃圾食品 She's used to eating shitty food anyway.
我们把我们不想要的垃圾食品 都给她 Let's just give her all the shitty food that we don't want.
那他妈的不好 看看她有多瘦 That's fucked up. Look how tiny she is.
她都还没到七 她就像 七的一半 She's not even a full seven. She's, like, half a seven.
这真是一个他妈的好事 老兄 This is a fucking cool thing, man.
我 为了一个人 真激动 I, for one, am very excited.
我是一个哈利波特的粉丝 I'm a massive Harry Potter fan.
什么 是啊 我喜欢哈利波特 What? Yes. I love fucking Harry Potter.
我已经等不及她醒来 I cannot wait till she wakes up
然后我问她所有惊人的问题 and I can ask her all these amazing questions about
关于他们怎么做的这些动画电影 how they made those motion pictures.
别着急 邓布利多 Take it easy, Dumbledore.
伙计们 听着 听着 我认为我们需要 Guys, listen, listen. I think we need to
确认一下屋里的大象 address the elephant in the room.
哇哦 杰 别那样说克雷格 Whoa. Jay, don't talk about Craig like that.
去他妹的 我在这呢 老兄 是的 That's fucked up. I'm right here, man. Yeah.
我没管克雷格叫大象 I'm not calling Craig an elephant.
哇哦 那真奇怪 那到底是什么意思 Wow, that's fucking weird. What does that even mean?
好吧 不是 那是种族主义者 JAY: Yeah, no. That's racist.
我没有提到他 I wasn't referring to him.
我在说我们心里的一个问题 I was referring to the issue that's on all of our minds.
什么 What?
这屋里有一个女的六个男的 This is one girl in a house with six males.
是啊 真安全 Yeah. Really safe.
理想的场景 Idealscena?o.
她就像一个小妹妹 She's like a little sister.
我认为她需要 I think that she needs...
重点是她感觉安全 It's important that she feels safe.
是啊 还有舒适 Yeah. And comfortable.
我们应该小心 And we should be mindful.
谁让她觉得不安全 Who's making her not feel safe?
好吧 我只是说 我们应该 Well, I'm just saying, we should...
我们不想破坏气氛 We don't want to give off a bad vibe.
气氛 气氛 我不会破坏气氛 Vibe? Vibes? I ain't giving no vibes.
是的 等下 你们在说什么气氛 老兄 Yeah, wait, what kind of vibes are you talking about, man?
他在说我们放出了 一种强奸的气氛 He's talking about us giving off a rapey vibe.
嘿 嘘 哇哦 什么 Hey!Shh! JONAH: Whoa! What?
耶稣啊 杰 怎么回事 老兄 Jesus. Jay, what the fuck, man?
冷静 伙计们 Chill out, dude.
为什么你那么说 是的 Why you putting that shit in the mix? Yeah.
他TM说的 是你这么说的 He fucking said it. You're the one saying it.
这里没人想什么强奸任何人 No one here is thinking about raping anyone.
嘘 好吧 你说到了气氛 Shh! Well, you talking about vibes
现在唯一的事是要强奸么 is the only thing that's rapey going on right now.
老兄 没什么要被强奸 直到你提出了强奸的气氛 Dude, nothing was rapey till you brought up the rapey vibes.
他妈的谁说的谁解决 相信他 老兄 Fucking one who smelt it dealt it, dawg. True that, dude.
谁拒绝谁支持 One who denies it suppfiesit
我知道 那是放屁 我知道了 I know, it's farts, I get it.
伙计们 伙计们 伙计们 Guys, GUYS, GUYS-
杰不是强奸犯 Jay's not rapey.
杰连苍蝇都强奸不了 Jay couldn't rape a fly.
他或许可以 SETH: He probably could.
或许我们现在应该完全停止讨论 Maybe we should just stop this entire conversation right now.
如果任何人在这 要强奸别人 If anyone's gonna rape anyone here,
那只可能会是丹尼 it's probably gonna be Danny.
我勒个擦 弗兰科 什么 What the fuck, Franco? What?
为什么你就会认为 我要强奸人呢 Why do you think I'm gonna rape somebody?
我只是想躺在那 I'm just trying to lay it out there.
我不会强奸任何人的 好么 I'm not gonna rape anyone, all right?
如果有人要强奸的话 那是杰 If anyone's gonna rape somebody, it's Jay.
什么 他提出来强奸的说法的 JAY: What? DANNY: He came up with the rape idea.
他的脸看起来就像 And his face looks like the police sketch
警察画的强奸犯的素描 没错 of a fucking rapist. JAMES: True.
那TM什么意思 What the fuck does that mean?
如果有人强奸了 If anybody's raping Emma Watson,
那他妈的一定在这强奸了很多人 it's fucking Sir Rapes-a-Lot over here.
冷静 嘿 Chill out. EMMA: Hey!
哇哦 ALL: Whoa!
冷静 冷静 Easy. Easy.
他妈的后退 Back the fuck up!
艾玛怎么了 Emma. What's wrong?
等下 怎么回事 怎么了 Wait, what's wrong? What's wrong?
我刚刚听到你们这帮家伙谈论 I just heard you guys talking about
你们中的某个人要强奸我 which one of you is gonna get to rape me.
不 不 不 不 ALL: No, no, no, no!
伙计们 我知道了 我知道了 Guys, I got it. I got it.
不 是玩笑 是玩笑 No. It's funny. It's funny.
我们在特别谈论不强奸你 We were specifically talking about not raping you.
耶稣啊 我勒个擦 Jesus! Holy shit!
后退 EMMA: Back up!
是我 乔纳 (CLAMORING) It's me, Jonah!
是我 乔纳·希尔 It's me, Jonah Hill.
美国的甜心 J-虫子 J-骨头 America's sweetheart. J-bug, J-bone.
你的朋友 我永远不会伤害你的 后退 Your friend. I would never hurt you. Get back!
给我你们所有能喝的 把它放到包里 Give me everything you have to drink! Put it in the bag!
我们有六瓶 你不能打劫我们啊 There's six of us. You cannot rob us!
我不是在胡闹 I'm not fucking around!
给她喝的 给她喝的 Give her drinks! Give her drinks!
把喝的放进包裹里 Put the drinks in a bag! (CLAMORING)
我的天 快把喝的放进包裹里 Oh, God. Get all the drinks in a bag!
快点啊 Hurry the fuck up!
他们在放了 Okay, they're getting the drinks.
把斧子放下 不要把"银河"给她啊 Put the ax down. Don't give the Milky Way away.
行了 你可以放下斧子了 All right, you can put the ax down now.
弗兰科 快开枪啊 Now, Franco! Shoot her face!
射她啊 Shoot her!
她可是艾玛·沃特森啊 I'm not gonna shoot Emma Watson!
艾玛 和我们呆一起吧 Look, Emma, just stay here with us.
这里比外面安全多了 It's a lot safer than out there.
赫尔迈厄尼把我们的东西掠夺一空了 Hermione just stole all of our shit.
被一个20岁的小丫头片子抢劫 Little bitty-ass 20-year-old jacked us.
杰建议我们轮奸她 现在她走了 And then Jay suggested that we all rape her, and now she's gone.
我没有...我只是 I didn't... I was just... I...
他这么做是因为杰知道 I think the only reason why he did that is because Jay knows
没有这个女人的话 he's about fucking two minutes away
被轮奸的只会是自己 from becoming the house bitch himself.
现在 混蛋们渴死了 So now, motherfuckers is thirsty.
好吧 伙伴们 All right, GUYS-
通往地下室的门在那里 The door to the basement's out there,
房子的另一边 around the side of the house.
我确定那里至少有两壶水 I know for sure there's at least two jugs of water.
好吧 Okay.
有志愿者吗 Any volunteers?
有谁自愿和杰一起去 Does anyone want to volunteer and go with Jay?
啥 What?
我以为你说 "有人自愿跟我去吗" I thought you said, "Someone volunteer to go with me out there."
我肯定是幻听了 I must have misheard you.
不好意思 你故意的吧 混蛋 I'm sorry. You did not, you motherfucker.
放轻松 SETH: Hey, okay, ease up.
冷静 不要发火 Just chill out, dude. Just relax, man. God.
那我们怎么办 伙伴们 So how we gonna decide this, fellas?
很简单 SETH: All right, guys, it's simple.
谁抽到烧过的火柴 谁去拿水 Whoever pulls the burnt match has to go get the water.
谁先来 Who wants to go first?
我先来 I'll do it.
克雷格 JAMES: Craig.
好吧 All right.
来吧 兄弟 Go ahead, brother.
不要晦气 不要晦气 No whammies, no whammies.
嘿 好 DANNY: Hey, hey. SETH: Yes! Yeah!
呼 耶 JAY: Whoo! SETH: Fuck,yes.Fuck,yes.
不好意思 克雷格 So sorry, Craig. JAMES: A lot of guys in here
其实我希望去的人不是你 that I wish it was instead of you.
你想去吗 You want to go best two out of three?
如果我拖拽绳子或者听到我尖叫 If I tug, if I pull in anyway, or if you hear me screaming,
什么的 你就拉我回来 anything, you pull me right back in, all right?
我们会的 但是你好重 Yeah. We'll try, man, but you're pretty heavy.
不 我是说我不敢 No, I mean, I'm saying, I just don't think it's smart
百分百向你保证 to make any guarantees. Fuck,no.
你们答应拉我回来 You promise to pull me back in. No, no, we're...
绑好了吗 You got me? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
我们会尽力的 We're gonna do our best. All right.
要测试一下吗 You want to do a test run? Yeah.
你尖叫一下 让我们听到 You gotta scream. Let us hear the scream.
拉 (SCREAMS WEAKLY) Pull.
很好 Nice. Very nice.
大家感谢一下克雷格英勇就义 Everyone thank Craig for doing this.
谢谢你 克雷格 Thanks, Craig. Thank you, Craig.
去吧 克雷格 Go for it, Craig.
这里烟好大 Getting smoky in here. Go, go, go, go.
糟透了 (FIRE CRACKLING) This is fucked up.
该死的 Goddamn.
到处都是乌烟瘴气 Smoky as fuck out here.
绳子烧起来了 Rope burn! Ah! Ooh!
抓住啊 Grab it, grab it, grab it!
不 Oh, no, no, no, no!
不 Shit. Oh, no.
糟糕 Shit. Shit.
不要啊 混蛋 Come on, motherfucker. Shit!
我去 Fuck this shit.
伙伴们 把我拉进去 拉绳子啊 Fellas, fellas! Pull me in! Pull the rope!
拉我进去啊 我们绳子没了 Pull me in! We don't have the rope anymore!
不小心脱手了 We fucking dropped it! We're sorry!
绳子全在你那边了 You've got the rope, man!
啥 What?
克雷格 我们该怎么办 Craig! What the fuck do we do?
克雷格 Craig! Craig!
你没事吧 SETH: Are you okay?
怎么了 兄弟 What happened, man?
我不知道 外面有怪物 I don't know! There's something out there.
哦 去 Oh, shit!
刀 谁给我把刀啊 A knife! Somebody throw me a knife!
我有 I'll get it.
干嘛 我的天啊 Why? OMG.
对不起啊 Jay, I'm so sorry, bro.
什么东西 The fuck?
剪断啊 Cut it! Cut it! Cut it! Cut it! Cut it!
天 那是啥玩意 God! What the fuck was that?
我不知道是啥 I don't know what the fuck that was,
我不要出去了 but I ain't going back out there.
克雷格 你一滴水也没弄来啊 Craig, you didn't even get any of the water.
门被弄破了 The door was fucked up.
我去 好难受 Damn it, this is so frustrating!
如此接近却不可及 It's so close, but so far.
水 就在我们下面 The water, it's, like, right underneath us.
就在那儿 Like, right there.
什么 "在我们下面" What do you mean "right underneath us"?
就在那儿了 Like, literally, like, right there.
在地板的下面 If you went right through the floor.
哟 Yo.
丹尼尔和乔纳10分钟后就可以换班了 我们休息时间快结束了 Danny and Jonah's shift ends in ten minutes, so our break is almost over.
好的 Okay.
我问你一个问题 Let me ask you something.
你觉得这是 You really think this is
天启吗 the Apocalypse?
你在外面看到什么了 对吧 You saw something out there, didn't you?
假如我真的看到了什么 你觉得这是天启吗 All right, let's just say for sake of argument, what if I did?
如果真的是可怕的天启 What if this is the real shit, right now, happening?
那我们怎么办 我们还没来得及准备后事呢 What if it is, man? We're not prepared for this.
我们该怎么做 下一步又该如何 圣经里说了 What do we do? What's next? It says in the Bible,
牛逼人士会升天 "The worthy will ascend to Heaven."
即使是天启的出现 也不注定我们的末日 Even if it is the Apocalypse, it's not the end of us.
此处仍存希望 There's still hope.
我们要勇于尝试 闪现我们的牛逼 We just have to somehow try to prove our worthiness.
你的意思是 CRAIG: Okay, so, you mean, like,
像10戒里面说的 做一个好人 like the Ten Commandments, like, do shit unto people
然后就会受到上天的眷顾 that'll do the same shit to you.
在那里开始很好 That's a great place to start.
为了世界所有的爱 You know, to just overall love.
而做一个好人 遵守那些戒律 Just be nicer and follow those commandments.
我们肯定能渡过这难关的 Listen. We're gonna get through this.
我们肯定行 We're gonna get through this, man.
相信吗 我们不是一个人在战斗 You know why? 'Cause we're gonna do it together.
你保证 You promise?
我们保证 We're gonna do this.
我什么都听到了 (WHISPERS) I hear everything.
谁干的 JAMES: Who did this?
啥 你在说什么 Did what? What are you talking about?
谁在这本杂志上打手枪的 Jizzed all over the pages of this nice magazine
不要惹我发火 I was nice enough to tell you about.
是你吗 赛斯 Was it you, Seth?
不是 No.
不是 是我 弗兰科 No? It was me, Franco.
是我不小心把精液喷到上面 I fucking madejizz in your magazine.
啥 我飞机打了太长时间 Why? When I fucking jack off
结果忍不住就射了 long enough, I end upjizzing, dude.
如果是你的话也肯定会射 I'm assuming the same shit works for you?
多么智能的回复 你怎么不对准目标射呢 Real fucking smart answer! Why don't you fucking aim, huh?
我的射精方式可是爆炸性的 然后就到处都是 I have a particularly explosive ejaculate. It just goes everywhere.
就像消防员手里长长的软管子 拿在手里疯狂乱射 It's like a fucking wild fireman's hose.
你只需要抓紧管子 闭上眼向上帝祈祷 You just got to grab on and pray to God
就不会射到你的眼睛或者耳朵里的 it doesn't get in your eyes or your mouth.
你他妈的啥变态的手枪打法 The fuck kind of jerking off is that?
你没有哥哥吗 What, you never had any brothers?
没教过你要射的时候用纸巾或者袜子包住吗 You didn't learn to jizz in a fucking sock or on a fucking tissue?
我没有哥哥 No, I don't have any brothers.
我家里全是女人 I was raised in a house of women!
我严重怀疑 I highly doubt they fucking taught you
是她们教你乱射的 to fucking close your eyes and fucking cum wherever you want!
你干嘛纠结 I mean, you're getting all worked up
一本破杂志 over a fucking porno mag!
当今谁还看色情杂志 Who has goddamn porno mags anymore?
欢迎来到21世纪 巴克 罗杰斯 Welcome to the 21 st century, Buck Rogers!
你他妈的把ipad贴在墙面上当瓷砖 You designed a house with fucking iPads in the walls,
却像一个朝圣者一样打手枪 yet you're jerking your dick like a goddamn pilgrim!
我就是喜欢读书怎么样 That's right, man. I like to fucking read!
你以为只有你的杂志上有精液吗 You think that's the only thing ljerked off in here?
整个房子里到处都是 I've been dropping loads around this fucking house
我他妈的就是个洒水机 like a goddamn dump truck.
不准你乱洒 You don't cum on my stuff!
我什么时候想来一发你管不着 I'll cum wherever the fuck I want, James.
你的厨房里 I'll fucking cum in your kitchen.
再是你的艺术品 I'll cum on your fucking art.
老子的精液无处不在 I'll cum anywhere I want!
我还想对你来一发 I will fucking cum right on you!
身寸的你到处都是 I will cum like a fucking madman all over you, McBride!
哦哦 我还真希望你现在就对我射 Ooh. I fucking wish you'd cum on me right now.
老子不是说着玩的 I fucking dare you to cum on me!
我的神 (GRUNTING) God!
老子这里好硬 受不了了 I'm gonna jack my dick so fucking hard in here!
不只是你的脸 This, no more, man. All over your fucking face.
这个地方将遍布我的精液 This fucking all more. All over the fucking place!
这个地方将遍布我的精液 I'll fucking cum anywhere I want!
墙上将遍布我的精液 I'll fucking cum on these walls!
柜子里将遍布我的精液 I'll cum on the fucking cabinets!
家具上将遍布我的精液 我的精液无处不在 On the fucking furniture! I'll cum everywhere!
如果我再看见你的小弟弟 If I see your dick one more time,
我就开枪打爆他 I'm gonna fucking shoot it off!
你子弹不够 贱人 You don't have enough bullets, bitch.
麦克布莱德 他妈的不要在我房间打手枪了 No fucking jerking off in my house, McBride!
兄弟 消消火 Come on, man. Fuck this.
我只是...太渴了 I'm just... I'm too thirsty to do this.
更讽刺的是 And the fucking bitter irony is
没完成这任务还解不了渴了 I'm not gonna have my thirst quenched until I finish this.
尼马 老子不干了 丹尼 不要 God damn it, I hate it. Danny,no.
丹尼 不要走不要留我一个 Don't walk away. Danny, don't walk away from me!
赛斯 哥哥已经走了这么远了你才叫 来不及了 It's too late, Seth. I've already walked away too much.
你还是可以回来的 No, you haven't. You could still come back
转个身回来帮帮我 and just fucking turn around and come back and help me.
丹尼 Danny?
丹尼尔 Daniel?
需要帮助吗 Need a hand?
是的 Yeah, dude.
还没轮到你的 Your shift just ended, man.
你没必要帮我的 You don't have to help me if you don't want to.
没关系的 It's fine, I get it.
我闲着没事干 The fuck else am I doing?
我很感激 谢谢 I appreciate it, man. Thank you.
开干吧 Done and done. That's cool.
我莫名其妙就想起了这茬 I don't know why I'm thinking of this, but remember that time
那次我给你花了20块的塔可钟（墨西哥食物名）礼品券 that I got you a fucking Taco Bell gift certificate
买了吃的还打赌 for, like, 20 bucks, and I bet you
你吃不下那么多的 that you couldn't eat all of that in one sitting.
我记得那事 我一直在想 I do remember that. I remember thinking,
20块钱能买多少吃的啊 "How much food could 20 dollars
而且是在塔可钟 "possibly buy you at Taco Bell?"
那肯定是吃不完的啊 And the answer is infinite.
我们还一起去看了 斗剑者 And we went to see fucking Gladiator.
嗯 Yeah.
电影看到一半你就溅屎了 And you sharted midway through the movie.
都怪那只老虎 I did. Due to the tigers' appearance.
那只老虎吓到我了 I got scared of the tigers. Yeah.
其实 第二只老虎出来的时候 Literally, when the second tiger came out, I went...
我拉屎了 (MIMICS FART NOISE) ...and then I shat.
我在影剧院了拉响了第一炮 I shat in the theater.
我的神啊 Jesus. Oh, fuck.
你们没事吧 You guys Okay?
我屁股一边受伤了 I broke my ass in half. Here.
他们掉下去了 Shit, they got through!
你们成功了 You guys fucking did it. Oh, my God.
疼吗 Fuck. Did that hurt?
非常疼 SETH: Oh, yes, it fucking hurt.
我不知道这木板会松了 要不然早告诉你们了 Iloosened this up for you, I'll have you know.
闭嘴吧你 下面什么也看不见 Okay, just shut up. It's fucking dark down here.
等一下 Hold on, hold on.
很好 Nice.
谢谢 那是什么 Okay, good. Thank you. What is that?
是特伦斯·彼得森 猴子型照明灯的钥匙扣 That's Terrence Peterson. My monkey flashlight keychain.
猴子型照明灯的钥匙扣 Monkey flashlight keychain? Mmm-hmm.
叫啥名字 特伦斯·彼得森 What's his name? Terrence Peterson.
看见了吗 赛斯 没 You see it, Seth? No. Where...
你确定下面有吗 Are you sure it's even down here?
简称特里·皮特 Terry Pete.
不确定 Uh, not sure.
下面有什么奇怪的东西吗 JAY: ls there, is there any weird shit down here?
没有 这是我放那些旧电影道具的地方 Nah, it's where I keep all my stuff from my old movies.
服饰 道具 Costumes, props.
啥 下面有人在 What? ls someone down there?
蜘蛛侠第三部的剪贴画 It's your fucking stupid cutout from Spider-Man 3.
天啊 Jesus Christ.
不 No shit!
找到了 JAY: There it is! SETH: Yes! Yeah!
啥 你找到了吗好 What, did you find it? SETH: Yeah!
水 Water.
他妈的真爽 That is so fucking good.
那边的两位打破了地板的英雄 The two heroes over here, breaking through the floor.
是我们打破了地板 We did break through the floor.
换做任何一个人都会这么做 Any of you guys would have done the same thing.
哦 很疼的啊 SETH: Oh, man. That fucking hurt.
你居然没溅屎 JAY: Yeah, I'm surprised you didn't shart again.
我觉得我溅了 SETH: I think I did.
嘿 这是哪年的 19… Hey, what year is this? 19...
这年份不错 SETH: That's a good... That's a good year.
嘿 哟 Hey, hey. Yo, yo, yo!
咳 你在干什么 Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you doing?
我在干什么 What am I doing?
去你的 Fuck, man.
我给自己倒杯水啊 I'm just pouring myself another glass of water
喉咙噎住了 to wash down that dry-ass Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
虽然你讲的有道理 That's very nice, but you can't just
但是你也不能喝第二杯 pour yourself another glass of water, man!
省省行吗 Will you cut it out?
我们约定好一顿晚餐一杯水的 Yeah. We agreed to one glass at dinner,
我们投过票的 we voted on it, man.
我对这些破规则 Well, man, I'm just getting sick and tired
已经厌倦了 of all these fucking rules, man.
我也没对你们有什么规则啊 You don't see me putting rules on you guys.
不能再喝了 You cannot have another glass of water.
杰比我轻150磅 Jay weighs 150 pounds less than me.
他和我喝等量的水 Why the fuck is it fair
这公平吗 that him and I should drink the same amount of water?
我们应该按比例分配 We should be dividing our rations
适合的才是最好的 based on our proportionate size.
我没有意思想跟他唱反调 I don't want to come off as a diva here or anything.
我觉得大家 It's just that I think everyone
分配应该平均的 should split everything equally.
我觉得大家应该平均分配 "I just think that everybody should have the fucking same.
我是个戴着耳环的娘炮 闭嘴吧 乔纳 "I have a goddamn earring." Shut the fuck up, Jonah!
你知道吗 丹尼 如果你少打 JAMES: You know what, Danny? If you weren'tjizzing
手枪的话也用不着喝水 all the time, maybe you'd be more hydrated.
弗兰科 你又在开我的玩笑 You're making me into a joke right now, Franco,
可是一点也不幽默 and you are not gonna like the fucking punch line.
不能喝水 不能打手枪 你他妈的坐下就行了 No more jerking off! No more water! Just sit the fuck down!
好吧 我受够了 Okay, I'm done.
我们没有水了 We're not gonna have any more water.
很好 Good. All right.
喂 Hey!
来个人帮忙 抓住他 SETH: Someone help me! Fucking grab it!
你在干什么 JAMES: What are you doing?
你们竟敢这样子对我 You guys made this happen!
联合起来对付我 You guys forced my fucking hand by ganging up on me.
该死的 我要杀了这个王八蛋 God damn it, I'm gonna fucking kill this motherfucker!
你来啊 白痴 That's what I thought. Nerd.
好了 大家 (SNORING) (WHISPERING) All right, guys,
我们要摆脱他 let's get rid of him.
啥 你什么意思 SETH: What? What do you mean?
把他踢出这栋房子 Like, kick him out of the house?
他的放荡不羁拖累我们了 His fucking reckless behavior is dragging us all down.
他浪费了我们两次水 I mean, he wasted our water twice.
两次 两次啊 Two times. Two times.
丹只是压力太大了 Dan is under a lot of pressure. Okay?
他比较难以自控 And he's not handling it as good as the rest of us are.
你看他 穿着我的燕尾服 Look at him. He's wearing my fucking tuxedo.
分分钟吃个不停 He's been eating nonstop.
这混蛋到这里来还增肥了呢 The fucker's gained weight since he got here.
这混蛋必须要滚 The fucker's got to go.
滚 Go.
这混蛋必须要滚 The fucker's got to go.
你们真的那么绝情 This is how you all feel?
我们商量过了 SETH: We talked about it.
你们投票让我滚蛋了 You guys are gonna vote me off the island?
我还给你们做早饭呢 I mean, I made you guys breakfast.
是啊 做早饭浪费了我们一半的食物 Shit, man, you wasted half of our food when you did that.
你们能想想我为你们做的事吗 Just thought I was doing something nice for you guys.
我对我聚会的行为表示抱歉 Just to apologize for my behavior at the party.
聚会我没有受邀 Party I wasn't even invited to.
我不是个白痴 (SIGHS) DANNY: I'm not an idiot.
我知道你们为啥不再打电话给我 不叫我出去潇洒 I know why you guys don't fucking call me or hang out with me anymore.
因为我是个聚会狂 It's because I party so fucking hard.
打从娘胎里就是 Always have. Ever since I was a baby.
我受不了整天吮吸着妈妈的奶 I wouldn't just suck on my mama's titties.
我要驾驭这一对奶子 I would fucking bang 'em and motorboat 'em.
我做的一切只是希望你们能帮我一把 Everything I've been doing has just been a cry for help.
我在你的杂志上打飞机 When I came on your magazine, James,
只是我欲求帮助而留下的"泪水" it was a cum for help.
我越伤心而性欲渐佳 I've just been crying and c:omin' and crying and c:omin',
泪水从我的龟头里喷涌而出 tears from the tip of my penis, dudes.
我错了 你可以到处流精 不说你了 I'm sorry, all right? You can cum wherever you want.
我对打飞机这事情也并不是那么在乎 I don't even care about cumming anymore.
现在 我想离开了 Right now, I'm just kind of into going.
丹尼 丹尼 Danny. Danny.
嘿 不要这样子 Hey. Come on, man.
我搞砸了 I fucked up.
我错了 哥 I'm sorry, man. Come on, look,
我错了 我心情像佗屎一样 I was wrong. SETH: I feel like shit, man.
我不是有意让你不开心的 I didn't want it to happen like this.
我们再商量一下 好吗 Let's just discuss it some more, okay?
对 我们再谈一下 Yeah. Let's just talk, dude.
我们给你选择 We're giving you an option. It's a choice, man.
事情到这个地步了 对吧 There's nothing to figure out, all right?
你们说完了吧 我要走了 永远也不会回头了 You guys have said enough, and there's no going back anymore.
我不知道我在这儿 你们还可以给我什么 I don't know if there maybe is, like, something you guys could give me
至少我出去能给我啥防身的东西吗 so I could at least have some sort of protection while I'm out there.
丹尼 你不必这样子 Danny, you don't have to do this.
就是 SETH: Yeah, man. JAMES: All right,
如果你真的要走 if you're really leaving
拿着这个 then you should take this.
真的给我 Really?
外面还不知道什么情况 You don't know what's out there.
谢谢 詹姆斯 Thank you, James.
这对你很重要 我很感激 It means a lot to you, and I appreciate that you'd give this to me,
你这白痴 you stupid, stupid motherfucker!
你他妈的精神病 这是把道具枪 Fucking psychopath. It's a prop gun!
我会真的把子弹放进去吗 What, do you think I'd put real bullets in here?
你给我把没子弹的破枪 You were gonna send me out there with a fucking gun
让我去外边 filled with blanks? Oh, fuck you!
不要拿这个在我们面前晃来晃去 Don't turn this around on us.
你这王八蛋 打算杀了我们 You just tried to shoot us, you fucking dickhead!
这狗娘养的 Fucking murdering motherfucker!
随便你们怎么说 这世界已经毫无文化可言 Whatever. Fucking civilization is broken down.
不要再装的人模狗样了 There's no more reason for this false bullshit.
你们还装的如此高尚 You guys act like you're so fucking high and mighty,
像一个从未犯过错的圣人一样 like you've never made a goddamn mistake before.
弗兰科 你这个自以为是的家伙 Franco, you're just a pretentious fucking nerd.
去你的 Fuck you.
还有 乔纳 And, Jonah,
你这贱逼 you fucking cunt.
克雷格 连你也出卖我 Craig, you didn't have my back, back there.
你太让我失望了 You fuckin' disappoint me. Bro.
还有赛斯 奸诈的混蛋 And, Seth, (SCOFFS) you duplicitous taint.
啥 当然 还有杰 What? Then of course, there's Jay,
自以为是 两面三刀 口蜜腹剑的口交达人 the self-righteous, cock-sucking, two-faced backstabber.
你他妈在说啥子 What the fuck are you talking about?
你和克雷格说的话我都听到了 I overheard your little conversation with Craig, all right?
你之所以这么关心照顾我们 The only reason why you care about any of us is
是因为不得已 命中如此 because you think that's what God wants you to do.
你自己一点也不关心我们 You don't give a shit about us.
你扭曲了.. No,no,no,no, that's fucking twisting that shit...
你在说谎 You're fucking lying.
我说谎了吗 Am I twisting this?
两个月之前你在洛杉矶 I believe you were in Los Angeles
四季妓院 two months ago, at the Four Seasons.
我看见你在那儿 还特地嘱咐我不要告诉赛斯 I saw you there, and you specifically asked me not to tell Seth,
那样你才可以 so that you could maintain the illusion
继续你和赛斯在洛杉矶 that you always stay with Seth
这段美好的姻缘 when you're in Los Angeles.
哦 Ooh!
杰 Jay.
去 不是… Fuck, man. JAY: It's not...
顺便一提 你们这群人 And just for the record, you guys,
是我自己选择离开的 不是被你们逼迫的 I'm choosing to leave, you're not kicking me out.
你们说过我还可以再回来的 You guys had already said that I could come back in
我说我绝对不会回来了 and I'm the one who said that I'm not coming back in.
不要太得意 Don't be cocky.
终于滚出去了 Get the fuck out of here.
真的吗 Is that true?
嗯 Yes.
杰... J8Y--'
我知道这可能是我的错 I know this is probably my fault
因为是我让你陷入尴尬局面 because I put you on a pedestal,
但是不能对伙伴不诚实啊 but you should not be dishonest with your friends.
你真的很让我失望 But you really let me down.
咳 杰 糟糕 Hey! Whoa! Jay, damn, man.
你怎么回事 Fucken JAMES: What the hell?
糟糕透了 It's all fucked, isn't it?
约拿 你没事吧 Jonah, you okay? Yeah.
流血了 Bleeding?
嗯 Yeah.
是他的心在流血 His insides hurt worse than my outsides.
亲爱的上帝 Dear God,
我要向你祷告 I'd like to pray to You for a second.
是我 乔纳 希尔 It's me, Jonah Hill.
来自Money ball From Moneyball.
我恨死杰了 I hate Jay so fucking much.
你怎么能创造那么低等的生物 I think he might be the worst person You ever created.
我并没有批判你的意思 但是.. I don't want to judge You, but...
怎么回事 你在想什么 What's up? What were You thinking that day?
我爱赛斯 当他的朋友我很开心 他是个不错的小伙子 I love Seth, I love being his friend, he's an awesome guy,
但是杰好像 but it's like Jay is the last connection
跟赛斯纠缠不清 to his shitty, weird Canadian life.
上帝 请帮帮我 Just do me one favor, God.
杀了杰吧 Just kill Jay.
不要 (CHUCKLING) Stop, man.
克雷格 雅蠛蝶 Seriously, Craig, stop.
你的指甲太尖了 Your nails are sharp.
这不是梦 This is no dream!
我不是在做梦 This is really happening!
不 No!
昨晚 发生一丝丝令人胆寒的事 Something, um, not that chill happened last night.
我第一次喝了自己的尿 Yo, so, I just drank my own pee for the first time.
味道不错 我以前怎么没试过 (LAUGHS) And it ain't bad. I never thought to do it.
我以前总以为尿 是臭的 但是 I always thought, you know, pee stink, whatever, but...
嘘 Shh.
大家都知道这怎么玩吧 SETH: I think we all remember how this works.
谁抽到了烧过的火柴 Whoever gets the burnt match has to go to one of Franco's
就要去外面给我们拿点食物和水回来 neighbors' houses, get us some food and some water.
不 不 我不要第一个 No-ho-ho. No, I'm not going first.
我先来 谢谢 I'll go first. SETH: Thank you.
你真是条汉子 谢谢 Very mature of you. Thank you.
不好意思 Sorry.
干得好 Good job.
你没事吧 乔纳 You okay, Jonah?
啥 What's that?
你没事吧 You Okay?
嗯 就是做恶梦了 Yeah. Just bad sleep. Crazy dream.
乔纳 Here, Jonah.
乔纳 Jonah.
克雷格 感到幸运吗 Craigers, you feeling lucky?
历史会重演吗 Will history repeat itself?
谢谢 Thank you.
该你了 JAMES: You got this, dawg.
赛斯 不 怎么会是你 JAMES: Seth! No! Not you!
我不去 I'm not going.
啥 我不去 What? I'm not going.
我退出 我不去 I'm bowing out. I'm declining to go.
啥 What?
我说的够明白了 Let me break it down for you.
我他妈的不去啊 I'm not fucking going.
你去定了 告诉他他非去不可 You are definitely going. Tell him he's fucking going.
你自己为什么不去 自以为是的家伙 Tell you what, why don't you fucking go, Mr. Self-Righteous?
你一直说我们是怎么混蛋 你自己他妈的好到哪里去 You're constantly saying what assholes we are, how good you are.
你去给我们弄些水来 You go get us some fuckin' water.
我去 I will go.
因为我 Because I have
心中还留有荣誉这东西 something called honor. CRAIG: Fuck, fuck, fuck.
很好 你很可敬 That's good. Yeah, you're very honorable.
我和你一起去 杰 I'll go with you, Jay.
真的吗 Really?
是因为我在楼上跟你说的一番话吗 Is it because of our pact upstairs?
因为你的手臂太细了 Nah, 'cause you got them skinny-ass arms.
恐怕扛的食物连仓鼠吃也不够 You couldn't carry enough to feed a hamster.
生效了 (QUIETLY) It's working.
我们要出发了 JAY: Let's get that money.
走起 Let's do it.
外面左转 Yo. Out and to the left. Shh-shh.
再见 (WHISPERS) Bye.
哦 天 (WHISPERS) Oh, my God.
啥 (WHISPERS) What?
好悲伤的样子 That's so sad.
无辜者死了 Innocencelost
那是啥 What is that?
火 Fire.
好像到处都是火 There's, like, fire everywhere.
糟糕 Damn it!
嘿 Hey,hev!
我们走 我们走 CRAIG: Fuck, yeah. Let's go, let's go, let's go.
你好 闭嘴啊 (LOUDLY) Hello? (WHISPERS) Shut the fuck up!
干什么 你叫啥叫 (WHISPERING) What? You yelling that shit for?
我们要找...不要再叫了 We got to find out... Don't yell no more, man.
小心用平顶锅拍死你 Crack you in the head with this frying pan.
我们分两路 各处都找过去 Okay. So we should probably split up, cover more ground.
这是干什么 你要到哪去 What you think this is, Scooby-Doo?
我们进去 找到厨房 We're gonna go in there, we're gonna find the kitchen,
尽可能多拿 一起拿 and get as much shit as we can, together!
然后离开这破地方 Then we're getting the fuck out of here.
明白了吗 All right, all right. All right?
嘿 Hey.
你在干什么 What are you doing?
去外面的本应该是我 That should be me out there.
我害了他们 I totally fucked those guys.
啥情况 Fuck was that?
他没事吧 SETH: Oh, fuck! Is he okay?
乔纳 Dude!Jonah!
怎么办 SETH: What the fuck? What do we do?
你会急救什么的吗 不会 Do you know first aid or anything? JAMES: No.
乔纳 我不会急救啊 Jonah! I suck at first aid.
你没事吗 Are you okay? Shit! Jonah?
哦 不 低血糖 Oh, no. Low blood sugar. LBS.
他有LBS LBS! He's having an LBS episode!
我去拿"银河" I'll get the Milky Way! You get the Milky Way!
杰 Jay.
乔纳 不要死 SETH: Jonah, stay with me! Stay with me.
我找到了 把他的嘴册开 I got it, I got it, I got it, got it, open his mouth.
他是你的朋友 赛斯 把他的嘴掰开 It's your friend, Seth. Open his mouth.
把他的嘴掰开 我塞进去 Open his mouth. Open his mouth. I'll get this in there.
塞进去啊 Okay, okay. Shove it right in there.
乔纳 吃啊 SETH: Jonah. Milky Way, Jonah.
味道很好的 You love the Milky Way. Yummy, yum.
不管用了 SETH: It's not fucking working, man!
什么情况 What the fuck!
怎么塞进去啊 How do we get it in there?
嚼碎 像母鸟喂食一样吐进他嘴里去 Chew it up, chew it up and spit in his mouth like a baby bird.
你吞下去了 You just swallowed it, man.
味道不错 It's so good.
给我一口 Give me a bite.
入口如此美味 The second it hits your mouth is, like, amazing.
掰开嘴 Okay. (MUFFLED) Open it.
他说啥玩意 What the fuck was that?
希伯来语吗 That's Hebrew. That's not Hebrew.
可能是拉丁语什么的 It's fuckin' Latin or something like that.
我上过六年希伯来学校 这不是希伯来语 I went to Hebrew school for six years. That's not Hebrew.
你会死于血泊 (DEMONIC VOICE) You will drown in a river of blood.
末日降临 The End of Days is here.
你会在天国之影下蜷缩 You will quiver in the shadow of Kingdom Come.
命运审判于你 Judgment Day is upon you.
天启即将到来 The Apocalypse is nigh!
这个袋子刚刚满了 Hey, I think that's all it could fit.
我们拿回去吧 离开这里 Man, let's take this back to Franco's, get the fuck out of here.
我们回去干什么 What are we going back for?
你什么意思 What are you talking about?
理论上来说 我们可以呆在这里 In theory, we could just fuckin' stay here.
在这里 不用勃着 And here, you don't have to sleep
鸡巴睡觉了 in a friggin' tent under a dick.
我喜欢我的鸡巴勃起来 I like my dick tent.
我是说 I'm just saying,
我们可以一起在这里建立新生活 克雷格 绝对比那里好 we could build a life here together, Craig. I'd be really good to you.
我只知道我很害怕 All I know is I'm scared as hell,
我想回去找我的朋友 and I just want to get back to our friends.
但是 他们不是我的朋友 Yeah, but they're not my friends.
赛斯是你的朋友 Seth is your friend.
我们没在一起玩好几年了 We've been growing apart for years.
所以我上次才没和他在一起 That's why I didn't stay with him last time I was here.
这次我和他重聚是为了生存 And I stayed with him this time to try and salvage it,
但还是行不通 but clearly that didn't work out.
杰 不管你喜不喜欢他们 Jay, like it or not,
我们只有这些混蛋可以依靠了 those assholes are all we got.
你听到了吗 Did you hear that?
嘎吱嘎吱声 Yeah, that was a creak.
啥玩意 JAMES: What is that?
这是什么 胆汁吗 What is that? Is that bile? Ew!
不知道 冷的 I don't know. It's cold.
闻一闻 Sniff it.
不 你来闻 No. You sniff it.
唷 (SNIFFS) EW!
呕吐物的味道 What? It smells like puke.
不要抹在我身上 Don't get it on me! Ew!
我眼里都是 It's in my eyes! Dude!
我嘴里也是 他不见了 It's in my mouth! He's gone!
他去哪里了 他不见了 Where is he? He's fucking gone!
糟糕 JAY: Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!
糟糕 Fuck.
乔纳 Jonah! Jonah!
乔纳 出来啊 Jonah, stop this!
乔纳 你他妈的在哪里啊 Please! Jonah, where the fuck are you?
你为什么吐在我们身上 Why did you vomit on us!
约拿 住手 Bad Jonah! Stop!
不要吃他 Stop eating him! (HISSES)
小心 他力量超大 Watch out! He's super strong!
啊 Aah!
糟糕 Shit!
怎么了 What is happen... (JONAH ROARS)
哦 不 SETH: Oh, no!
我要鸡奸你 赛斯 (DEMONIC VOICE) I'm gonna tittie-fuck you, Seth.
不要啊 Don't tittie-fuck me!
你的胸有多大 大B还是小C What are they, big B's or small C's?
我要摸摸你的胸部 I'm gonna push your titties together.
让我揉一下 Push 'em together!
我给你拿武器 JAMES: I'll get you something to help!
我给你找武器 LWlpass you something!
好的 扔给我 Okay, pass it to me.
哦 去 OW! Fuck! Shit!
啊 不要 Aah! Oh!
赛斯 Seth! (SETH GROANING)
这是逼人疯啊 We're getting crazy!
快啊 快啊 Come on! Come on!
天啊 开啊 该死的 Jesus,open, God damn you, open!
不 No,no,no,no.
天啊 Jesus“.
我们要躲起来 要躲起来 我知道啊 We gotta hide. We gotta hide. I know!
他来了 来了 我知道啊 He's coming! He's coming! I know he's coming!
我不知道该怎么办 I don't know what the fuck to do! (JONAH GROWLING)
我不知道 I don't know...
你去哪儿 Where are you going?
该死 Shit.
请走开啊 他在嗅味道 (QUIETLY) Please go away. He's sniffing.
我好害怕 詹姆斯 SETH: I'm so scared, James.
安静点 JAMES: Be quiet.
你的呼吸声好重 是吗 You're breathing really loud. Am I?
不要用嘴巴呼吸 Don't breathe through your mouth. Okay.
你的鼻子呼吸声也好重 是吗 Now you're doing loud nose breathing. Am I?
其他部位不能呼吸啊 I don't know where else to breathe from.
那是...赛斯 Is that... Seth.
不要动 JAMES: Oh, shit. Don't move.
他朝这边来了 Oh, shit, he's coming right this way. Oh, shit.
哦 该死 Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
滚开 SETH: Get out of my way! Move! Move!
你没事吧 You Okay?
我们走 Let's go. Let's go. Okay. Okay. Okay.
你在干什么 What the fuck! What are you doing? (SCREAMING)
你在干啥呢 What are you doing? What are you doing?
后面有只魔鬼追着我们跑 There's a fuckin' demon chasing us!
魔鬼 A demon? Demon?
你们怎么回事 What the fuck happened to you guys? That!
是乔纳 他着魔了 It's Jonah! He's possessed!
他疯了 He's crazy!
哇喔 爆头了 Oh, fuck! You brained him.
我这样做对吗 Is that... I was supposed to do that, right?
嗯 SETH: Yeah.
混账东西 Motherfucker.
系牢了 JAY: Fasten! SETH:HuHw
系牢了 该死的混蛋 Fasten, God damn you, bastard!
他醒了之后又要发作了 SETH: He's gonna be fuckin'
醒来后果不堪设想 bad news when he wakes up!
他力气好大 He's fuckin' strong.
我这边好了 My side's good. Oh, shit!
好了 我要打死他 All right, I'll fuckin' hit him.
快 Fuck! Come on, come on! Okay!
他失控了 伙伴们 This shit's cray cray, guys.
天启真的来了 I mean, it's, like, the real, like Apocalypse.
启示录上说的一样 It's, like, the Book of Revelations,
世上真的有上帝 like that means there's a God.
对吗 Right?
我一直不相信我上帝这一说 I haven't led my life as though there's a God this whole time.
谁看见过上帝呢 真的有上帝这一说吗 Who fuckin' saw that coming? That there's actually a God?
这星球上95%的人相信 I'd say 95% of the planet.
草耶稣他妈的 Jesus fucking Christ, man.
你最好不要说这种话 You might want to stay away from saying that.
草耶稣他妈的 为什么不能说 "Jesus fucking Christ"? Why?
为什么不能说 十诫里的语录有句话 Why can't I say that? One of the Ten Commandments.
你不能以上帝之名冒犯上帝 "Thou shall not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain."
耶稣又不是上帝的 Jesus isn't the name of the Lord.
神才是上帝 God is name of the Lord.
耶稣 神 是一个意思 Jesus, God, it's all the same.
三位一体的东西 父亲 孩子还有圣灵 It's the Trinity. Father, Son, Holy Ghost.
就像三色冰激凌一样 It's like Neapolitan ice cream.
我甚至不知道有啥戒律 I don't even know what the fucking Commandments are.
我觉得都是扯淡 我们没干坏事 Guys, I think this is sort of bullshit, because we're all good people.
从你们的眼神里看得出来 你们是百分百好人 I can look at each one of you in the eye, I know you're good.
我很好 我们是四个演员 I'm good. We're four actors.
我们给世人带来欢乐 We bring joy to people's lives.
是的 但不是免费的 Yeah, but we don't do it for free.
我们获利相当高 跟一般小市民拿的钱是没法比的 We get paid handsomely, much higher than the average profession.
我们挣得都是血汗钱 It's not like it was just handed to any of us.
我们努力了好久才走到今天的 We've worked really hard to be here.
就是 就算天冷的时候还要装作很热 Yeah, pretend like it's hot when it's cold.
坐在海边上 冻死人了 You sitting on the beach, it's freezing,
当别人都在冲浪的时候 你要躲在柜子里 说些莫名其妙的 you in your drawers, talking about something, everybody's surfing.
我觉得是上帝搞错了 (WHISPERS) I think God might have just fucked up,
不小心遗漏了我们 made a mistake, and left us behind by accident.
世界上有太多人了 I mean, He's got a lot of shit on His plate.
这不是不小心 绝对不是 It's not an oversight, it's not a mistake, okay?
我们要面对现实 既来之 则安之 We got to face facts. We're here, and there's a reason we're all here.
你为什么这么确定 Why are you so sure?
我干过坏事... I've done things, man. I...
我曾把一个人的眼球挖出来过 I gouged a man's eyeballs out.
啥玩意儿 What the... Fuck off.
克雷格 那时候我还是个孩子 Craig. Well, I was a kid, man.
在酒吧里打架 It was a fuckin' bar fight.
因为输了桌上足球 It was a bad foosball game.
他说我没有叫名字 可是我真的叫了啊 He said I didn't call spinneys, and I fuckin' called spinneys.
我拿起个玻璃杯子砸他脸上 He got all in my face, and I smashed a bottle across his face...
第一只眼球是不小心 (EXHALES DEEPLY) ...and the first eyeball was an accident,
然后 我就疯了一样 去弄他另一只 but then I was, like, fuck it, and I went for the second one.
实在是糟透了 但是你知道吗 It was fucked up. But you know what?
那事发生的时候 我对自己说 已经发生了 That shit happens. I'm saying, that's... I think that's why I'm here.
我也要坦白一些事 I got to admit something.
我 I, uh...
我上了莲莎·露夏恩（好莱坞小天后） I fucked Lindsay Lohan.
她发情了 She was fucked up. She was high.
那是在马特蒙酒店 It was at the Chateau Marmont,
她一直敲我的门 and she kept banging on my door.
一直在叫杰克·吉伦哈尔 She kept calling me Jake Gyllenhaal.
糟透了 That's fucked up.
我说 请叫我波斯王子 Yeah, I said, "Call me the Prince of Persia."
我说的对吧 See, that's what I'm saying, man.
我们干了很多坏事 你知道吗 We've all done bad shit, you know?
我们干的坏事远远超过了好事 We've done more bad shit than good in our lives, and (SIGHS)
是时候赎罪了 it's time to pay the piper.
糟糕 JAMES: Whoa, shit!
有什么不对劲 Something's wrong.
是上帝干的 (WHISPERS) God did this.
他给我了我们光 又拿回去了 He gave us light, and then He took it away. (JONAH GROWLING)
你听见了吗 You hear that?
有人发疯了 It's the soundtrack of us going insane.
我真的希望自己能帮帮他 Damn, I wish there was something we could do to help him.
我有对策 I know what we can do.
一股恶臭 JAY: The fuckin' stench.
乔纳希尔 Jonah Hill?
乔纳 Jonah?
乔纳 Jonah Hill.
乔纳不在了 (IN DEMONIC VOICE) Jonah Hill is no more.
恶魔 Demon?
是吗 Yes?
情况不对 (LAUGHING) Fuck. That's not good.
情况不对 That's not good.
杰 你这白痴 Jay, you fool.
我对你说 I say unto thee,
上帝的力量压制着你 the power of Christ compels you!
哦 是吗 压制着我吗 Oh, does it? Does it compel me?
上帝的力量压制着你 The power of Christ compels you!
是吗 杰 Does it, Jay?
上帝的力量压制着你 The power of Christ compels you!
上帝的力量压制着我 Is the power of Christ compelling me? Is that what's happening?
上帝的力量压制着你 The power of Christ compels you! (LAUGHING)
我猜压不了我吧 Guess what? It's not that compelling.
杰 你没逗我玩吧 SETH: Jay, you serious right now?
这就是你的对策 你在复述驱魔人里面的台词 That's your fuckin' plan? You're gonna repeat lines from The Exorcist?
他们可能做过研究 I would assume they did their fuckin' research.
这是电影 这是指南 It's a movie! It's a manual.
训练手册 It's a fuckin' training manual. (CONTINUES LAUGHING)
我对着你说 I say unto thee,
上帝的力量压制着你 the power of Christ compels you!
上帝的力量压制着你 The power of Christ compels you!
有点疼了 Geez, it hurts a little bit.
有点刺痛 It's, like, this little sting.
上帝的力量压制着你 The power of Christ compels you!
滚开 Seriously, fuck off.
上帝的力量压制着你 The power of Christ compels you!
杰 Jay?
上帝的力量压制着你 The power of Christ compels you!
我勒个去 CRAIG: Holy shit!
你把他惹毛了 闭嘴吧 You're pissing him off, man. Just stop it!
上帝的力量压制着你 Jay! The power of Christ compels you!
上帝的力...趴下 The power of... Get the fuck down!
你不要推我 混蛋 Don't fucking push me, asshole! Geez, man!
冷静点 Fuck you! Easy!
你是个混蛋 骗子 You're a fucking asshole, you liar!
一直是吗 Still?
是的 一直是 Yes. Still? Yes.
这里有个着魔的家伙在 Guys, guys, we got a possessed guy here!
我们非得纠结于这个话题吗 Do we have to argue about this right now?
让他们打起来吧 Let 'em fight.
我们要来一场驱魔仪式 We got an exorcism to finish. Hello?
你想知道我为什么不和你在一起吗 Do you want to know why I didn't stay with you?
你变了 Yeah. You fuckin' changed.
变得我不认识了 You're a fuckin' sell-out.
所有人都说你变了 You did fuckin' sell out. Everyone says.
至少我变了 你却还像18岁那个样子 杰 At least I did change! You act like you're fucking 18 years old still, Jay!
长点心 杰 他冲你发火是有理由的 Grow up, Jay. That's why he's yelling at you.
你一直在托我后腿 You've been holding me back this whole time!
他想揍你 That means fuck you.
住手 伙伴们 JAMES: Come on, guys! Come on!
去你的 混账 JAY: Fuck you, you piece of shit!
所有人 出去 JAMES: Everybody, out!
克雷格 阻止他们 Craig, stop 'em!
散开 哇握 Get apart! SETH: Oh, now it's on.
怎么回事 弗兰科 Yo! What the fuck is all this, Franco?
是吃的吧 怎么会在这里 Uh, looks like food. How'd that get there?
啥 你还有吃的 SETH: What? You have more food?
你知道他还有吃的 You knew he had extra food?
嗯 他给我了一块饼干 Yeah, he gave me one cracker.
给我半块饼干我都愿意给他口交了 I would have sucked a dick for half a cracker.
行了 我不要你给我口交 All right, well, maybe I didn't want you to suck my dick, all right?
我不想给你舔你那个东西了 Look“. CRAIG: I didn't want to suck it!
我想说的是 这是我的食物 That's the point of what I said! It was my fucking food!
伙伴们 火啊 SETH: Guys, guys, guys, fire!
乔纳着火了 Shit! Jonah's on fire!
快灭掉啊 Put it out!
用嘴巴啊 灭掉啊 Use your mouth! Put it out!
走 走 Go, go, go, go, 90!
他去哪儿了 Where is he? Where is he? Where is he?
走 Go, go, go!
走啊 Go, go, go, go, 90!
去外边 Go, get outside!
快啊 他来了 Come on, hurry up, he's coming!
他来了 He's coming!
小心 小心啊 JAMES: Watch out, watch out!
哦 我的城堡没了 Oh, my fortress!
我只想说 Uh, boys, I just want to point out, um,
我们逃到外边了 we're out in the open now.
我的普锐斯 My Prius. Yeah!
那是什么 JAMES: What is that?
不可能 No fucking way.
我们完了 (ROARS) JAMES: We're screwed!
彻底完蛋了 We're totally screwed, guys.
我来 I got this.
什么 我去引开这东西 What? I'll distract the thing.
我跑过去大叫吸引他 I'll run over there screaming and shit,
让你们有足够时间逃进车库 and that should give you enough time to get to the garage.
但是 那东西会杀了你的 Well, yeah, but that thing can kill you.
可能是我罪有应得 这辈子坏事干太多了 Maybe I deserve it. I've been shitty my whole life.
自私 自利 Being selfish, only doing shit for me.
我只想在生命的尽头做一件好事 Maybe it's only right that the last thing I do
这颗星球不适合我 on this planet isn't for me.
适合你们生存 It's for you guys.
克雷格 没必要这么做的 Craig, you don't have to do that.
谢谢你 克雷格 Thank you very much, Craig.
我很感激 你这懦夫 I appreciate that. You spineless...
我爱你们 I love you guys.
你们是我最好的朋友 You're my best friends.
你真高尚 克雷格 You're a real mensch, Craig.
天堂另一边见 See you on the other side.
嘿 混蛋 Hey, hey, asshole! Hey, come on!
泡你个鸡巴 丑不拉几的怪物 Pickle dick, demonic-looking motherfucker.
你又不是只洗熊 没有人会怕你的 Nobody's scared of you. You ain't a raccoon!
贱货 秀出的屁股啊 Yeah, bring your ass, bitch!
老子是克雷格 我擦累个 罗宾森 才不怕你 Nobody's scared of you! I'm Craig fucking Robinson!
他要干什么 克雷格 What's he gonna do? Craig.
来尝尝哥哥的大JB吧 兔崽子 I hope you like big dick, motherfucker,
在这最后一刻 'cause I'm about to fuck you raw!
我要破了你的处 For the last goddamn time!
脱掉你的裤子 Take your panties off!
操 Fuck,yeah!
啥情况 What's happening?
克雷格 Craig! Craig!
我来个去 你们知道这什么情况吗 Holy shit, do you guys realize what this means?
克雷格其实是一个天使 That Craig was an angel this whole time?
不 这说明我们还有希望 No, no, it means we can still be saved. No, no.
我不懂了 为神马克雷格被救了 I don't fucking get it, why does Craig get saved? I mean...
克雷格为了我们牺牲自己 Craig sacrificed himself for us,
说明还有希望 which means that there's still hope.
说明我们还可以被救赎 That means we can be redeemed. SETH: Yeah.
这似乎意味着如果我们相亲相爱 It means that if we're actually nice to each other,
我们也可以被吸进天堂里去 we can get sucked up into Heaven, too. That's the deal.
我懂了 我们出发吧 All right, I got it, let's just head out
去我马里布的家 to my place in Malibu. Yeah.
只要好事干得多就能活得久 Just survive long enough until we do enough good things
一件一件好事积少成多或者舍己为人的事多干 and they accumulate or do enough sacrifices,
我们就会一起上天堂 and we'll all go to Heaven together.
詹姆斯 真是个好主意 That's a great idea, James.
这个注意极好 Seriously, really, really goodidea.
你真是个聪明的小伙伴 Really, you're such a smart guy.
谢谢 赛斯 你真好 (CHUCKLES) Thanks, Seth, you're such a nice guy.
你的微笑好迷人 You got a great smile.
谢谢 笑容不错哟 Thanks, man. And an awesome laugh.
不要再说了 杰该怎么办 I've heard it's annoying. How about that Jay back there, man?
杰 开玩笑吧 SETH: Dude, Jay, you kidding me? Come on. Oh, come on.
独一无二 离开这里 JAMES: One of a kind. Get out of here.
你的身材不错 You got a cool body.
你可以不穿内衣到处走 You can walk around with your shirt off anytime.
这没用的 It's not working, this isn't working.
你觉得我们也可以被吸上天去 What, you thought we would be Raptured already?
当然有可能 I thought it would happen already.
我们一直在说好话 JAY: No, we've just been talking nice.
说好话是不能带你上天堂的 Talking nice doesn't get you into Heaven.
那微笑也好啊 Doesn't hurt to smile... (TIRES SCREECHING)
搞什么飞机 What the fuck?
你们没事吧 SETH: (GROANS) You guys okay?
哦 糟糕 Oh, shit. Christ.
弗兰科 SETH: Franco! WOMAN: Come on!
把他的脑袋砍掉 Yo, cut his fucking head off!
怎么回事 What's going on?
不要 No!
住手 MA - No! N" Sm'
丹尼 Danny?
啥情况 What the fuck?
你们还活着 You guys are still alive?
是啊 Yeah.
我来个去 真没想到啊 Holy shit, I didn't expect that.
放出来 Fuck out here.
难以置信 你们在这里出现 DANNY: Shit, I can't believe you guys are here. Oh, Jesus.
你们来得正好 That's fucking crazy, and your timing couldn't be more perfect.
我们好几天没东西吃了 It's been a long time since any of us have eaten,
你们三个大男人看上去很美味的样子哦 and you three gentlemen look delicious.
和我们有啥关系 What does that have to do with us?
你在说啥子 The fuck are you talking about? (CHUCKLES)
我是个食人族 I'm a cannibal, hombre.
我要吃你的屁股 We're gonna fucking eat your ass.
去你的 你不能吃我们 Fuck you, you can't eat us. Fuck that, man.
老子想干什么就干什么 I do whatever the fuck I want, when I want.
老子上了这家伙 I butt-fucked this dude.
看到了没有 See that?
我对着这个屁股还真干了 I fucking slide right in that shit.
我可以为所欲为 这是我的蕾丝女人 I do whatever I want. This is my gimp.
钱宁 自我介绍一下 Channing, introduce yourself.
嘿 你们好 Hey, what's up, guys?
大家还好吗 Y'all cool?
那是钱宁·塔图姆 That's Chanting Tatum.
钱宁·塔图姆 哥们 什么情况 That's Channing Tatum, dude. What the fuck?
钱宁·塔图 姆我看见他的告诉路上瞎逛 Channing fucking Tatum. I found him wandering on the freeway.
我把他捡回来当我的狗狗 不要碰我的鸡巴 I collected him, made him my bitch. Get off my dick.
我把他唤做钱宁·美味的塔图姆 I call him Channing Tate-yum.
好忠心 Hard-core, man.
他已经被训练的很好了 I got him trained good.
看 会耍小玩意 握手 Watch, he does tricks. Wait, shake hands.
好吧 赛斯 (WHISPERS) All right, Seth.
打个滚 DANNY: Fucking roll over.
我来分散注意力 I'm gonna create a diversion. Yeah.
你和杰赶紧逃跑 You and Jay make a run for it. BOTH: What?
丹尼要吃了你 Danny's gonna eat you.
为了你们我牺牲 Listen, full-on sacrifice for you, dawg,
就像菠萝2里面的结局一样 舔我 like the ending to Pineapple 2. DANNY: Yeah, lick that.
那是钱宁·塔图姆啊 That's Channing fucking Tatum, dawg.
我爱他 I love him.
他爱我 兄弟们 That's fucking G.l. Joe, dude. Fucking loves me. (CHUCKLES)
丹尼 我们是朋友 你不能吃了我们 Danny! We're friends! You can't eat us!
我也不想啊 但是我们饿疯了 大家开吃吧 I'd love to catch up, but we're fucking starving, so let's eat!
去你的 Fuck you! (SCREAMS)
跑啊 Run!
吃我一招 Eat this!
抓住他 OW! Shit, fuck! Get him!
谁想来一棍 Who wants it, you piece of shit?
我们应该回去 Man, we should go back.
我们应该回去帮他 We should go back and help him. We should go back.
我勒个去 成了 Holy shit! It worked!
什么东西 What the fuck?
去死吧 麦克布莱德 Go to hell, McBride!
去你的 FUCK you!
去你的 Suck my dick!
哦 Oh!
哦 糟糕 什么情况 Oh, shit. JAMES: What happened?
我干什么了 吸我回去啊 What did I do? Take me back!
我干什么了 What did I do?
我来告诉你 弗兰科 DANNY: I'll tell you what happened, Franco.
你没有被吸进天堂里去 You don't get to get sucked up into Heaven
因为你太帅了 像汤姆佩蒂一样帅 'cause you were being petty. Tom Petty.
你没邀请我参加聚会 You may not have invited me to your party,
现在你是我尊敬的客人了 but you're the guest of honor at mine.
啥 JAMES: What?
这是要有多疯狂 How fucking crazy is this?
赛斯 杰 DANNY: Seth, Jay!
哦 他们在后面追 JAY: Oh, shit, they're running after us.
快跑啊 Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Run.
把他们带回来 DANNY: Bring them to me!
抓住他们 Fuck. DANNY: Get 'em!
抓回来 CANNIBAL 1: Got to get Rogen.
这里 Over here.
这里 What? Over here, over here. Here. What?
糟糕 Shit, shit.
他们就在附近 They're around here somewhere.
他们还在跑 你们这群白痴 CANNIBAL 2: They kept running, you fucking idiots.
他们走了吗 Shit, are they still there?
我觉得走了 他们走了 I think they're gone. Are they gone?
为什么弗拉科对丹尼竖中指 Oh, my God. Why did Franco flip off Danny?
为神马要这么做 Why did he have to do that, man?
他本来什么事也没有 He was in the clear.
教科书上说 That is textbook.
是虚荣或者.. Vanity or...
是虚荣 虚荣或者嫉妒 Is it vanity? Vanity or envy.
嫉妒还是愤怒 Is it envy or wrath?
管他是什么 It's any of them, man. You can't do that.
愤怒的胜利者 It's being a sore winner, is what it is,
书上就是这样说的 more than anything. That's exactly what it is.
不能成为一样愤怒的胜利者 You can't be a sore winner. No.
又是一坨麻烦 Well, this is another fine mess we found ourselves in.
听着 杰 Listen, Jay...
哦 (THUDDING) Oh, shit.
离开这里 我们离开这儿 Get out of here, let's get out of here.
你不是逗我玩吧 Oh, you've got to be fucking shitting me!
我的神啊 Oh, my God. Oh, no.
这怪物好大 That thing's big.
天啊 Holy shit.
好大啊 Oh, it's so big.
天啊 Oh, man. Oh, Jesus.
我们死定了 We're gonna die, man. Okay.
我们要挂了 Okay, we're gonna die. Uh...
天啊 不 Jesus! Oh, no!
听我说 Shit. Listen to me, man.
我是个白痴 我抬高自己 I'm a fucking idiot. I put myself up.
我自以为是 I'm self-righteous.
以为比你强 I think I'm better than you. No, no.
我固步自封 I was resistant to change.
我不应该离开你 No. I should have grown with you.
我应该和你一起改变 I should have changed with you.
我应该和你一起改变 We should have changed together.
我恨我现在的自己所以才会恨现在的你 I didn't like what I became so I hated what you became.
没事了 没关系的 It's fine, man. It's fine.
我爱你 赛斯 我爱你 I love you, Seth, fucking love you, buddy. I love you, man.
我爱着你 我们一起死吧 I always loved you. Let's die together, man.
我们一起死 我爱你 杰 Let's die together. I love you, Jay.
杰 Holy shit, Jay, all right!
我们成功了 Yeah, we did it!
我不是很想去天堂 I'm not getting sucked up into Heaven!
你怎么意思 为神马不 What do you mean? Why not?
我也不知道 I don't know why not!
抓住我的手啊 Take my hand!
杰 带我一起走 Okay, take me with you, Jay!
我们一起走 I'll take you with me.
啊 Ah! Yay!
好耶 Yeah!
啊 Ah!
哈 Whoo!
成功了 Yeah! It's working!
好耶 Yeah!
哦 不 被他看见了 Oh, no! He sees us!
他碰不到我们 SETH: He can't touch us!
我们有能量护体 We're in a force field!
带上我不行啊 It's not gonna take me with you!
我们在下坠 We're going down!
抓住我的手 你会被拉上去的 Keep holding on and you'll get pulled up, too!
不行的 It's not! No, I won't, man!
我不值得 I don't deserve to.
我要放手了 杰 I'm gonna let go, Jay.
你会死的 You'll die!
我知道 但至少你不会 I know, but you won't.
不 No!
我不值得上天堂 但是你可以 I don't deserve to go to Heaven, but you do.
如果我不放手两个人都得死 We're both gonna die if I don't let go.
我不想再托你后腿了 I'm not gonna hold you back anymore.
不 No!
And I...
Will always love you
哈哈 Yay!
I will always
I Love you
I will always love you
好耶 Whoo! Yeah!
抓住我的手 Come, hold my hand, buddy!
抓住我的手 Hold my hand!
成功了 Yeah! You did it!
你做到了 You did it! Yeah!
你做到了 You did it!
我们飞起来了 We're flying!
Love you
When I die and they lay me to rest
Gonna go to the place that's the best
When I lay me down to die
看 啥 Look! What?
哇喔 (LAUGHS) Wow.
欢迎来天堂 混蛋 Welcome to Heaven, motherfuckers.
克雷格 BOTH: Craig!
克雷格 Craig. Oh, my...
怎么了 What?
爽爆了 This is awesome.
你是个天使吗 是的 先生 Are you an angel? Yes, sir.
酷毙了 真的酷毙了 That's so cool, man. That is so cool.
祝贺啊 Congratulations, dude.
伙伴们 Ah, fellas.
哦 你有个光环 Oh! Dude, you got one.
什么 好酷啊 What? That's so cool.
我有吗 Do I have one? Do I have one?
我看不到啊 I can't see it. Do I have...
等一下 我们碰一下 Wait. Let's touch 'em.
这太... Dude, this is so... Wow.
我们现在干什么 What do we do now? Yeah.
这边来 Come this way.
So you know that when you die
He's gonna recommend you
To the spirit in the sky
Spirit in the sky
喜欢这里吗 Right? Do you love it? Do you love it?
天堂里有烟草毒品的 Whoa, they got weed in Heaven?
你说啥 What? You tell me.
啥 Oh! What?
我勒个去 酷爆了 Holy shit! That's awesome!
哦 Oh.
哇握 Wow.
不可思议啊 That's insane, man.
不 No,no,no, no,no,no.
在天堂 你想到什么你就可以拥有什么 That's Heaven. Anything you could think of is yours.
咳 Whoa!
我来个去 不错啊 Holy shit, this is awesome.
赛格威 Segway!（一种电动代步车）
我一直想要一个的 I've always wanted to ride one of these things.
来吧 杰 许个愿望 Go ahead, Jay, make a wish.
只要你想得到 Anything you could think of.
真的吗 Anything?
Everybody, yeah
I Rock your body, yeah
啥 What?
不可能 No fucking way.
Everybody
Rock your body right
Backstreet's back
Hey, yeah
Oh, my God, we're back again
Brothers, sisters, everybody sing
Gonna bring the flavor show you how
Gotta question for you better answer now, yeah
Am I original?
Yeah
Am I the only one
Yeah
Am I sexual?
Yeah
Am I everything you need
You better rock your body now
Everybody
Yeah
Rock your body
Yeah
Everybody
Rock your body right
Backstreet's back, all right
All right
Backstreet's back, all right