你好 我是道格 Hey, you reached doug.
很抱歉我现在不能接电话 Sorry, I missed your call.
请留下您的姓名和号码 我会尽快回复 Please leave a name and number and I'll get back to you.
你好 我是首席牙医斯图亚特·普瑞斯 Hi, you've reached Dr. Stuart Price with prime dentistry.
请在响声后留言 Please leave a message after the...
嗨 我是菲尔 留不留言随便你 Hey, this is Phil. Leave me a message, or don't.
拜托 别给我发短信 我讨厌短信 Do me a favor. Don't text me, it's gay.
-怎么了 -每个电话我都打了 可都是留言信箱 - Anything? - I tried them all. It keeps going straight to voice mail.
-他们应该说一声的 -宝贝 那可是维加斯 - There has to be an explanation. - Sweety, it's vegas.
一进赌场就没有时间的概念了 You'll lose track of time in those casinos.
那没有窗户 连块表都没有 There's no windows, or clocks.
他也许坐在暖气边上 He's probably on a heater.
你要是坐在暖气边上就不想动了 And you never walk away from the table when you're on a heater.
都要结婚的人了 还会那么干吗? You do if you're getting married.
你好 Hello
崔西 我是菲尔 Tracy, it's Phil.
菲尔 你们死哪去了 我要发火了 Phil, where the hell are you guys? I'm freaking out.
听我说... Yea, listen...
我们搞砸了 We fucked up.
什么意思 What are you talking about?
昨晚有个单身派对 我们玩了个通宵 The bachelor party, the whole night.
但这次有点玩大了 Things got out of control and, uh...
我们把道格弄丢了 We lost doug.
-什么 -道格不见了 - What? - We can't find Doug.
菲尔 有没有搞错 婚礼就剩5个小时了 What are you saying, Phil? We're getting married in 5 hours.
是啊 Yeah.
事情本不该这样的 That's not gonna happen.
宿醉
挪一下腿 谢谢 You have to move... thank you.
两天前
你干毛呢! Whoa, watch it pervert!
放松艾伦 他只是想量一下裤线 It's okay Alan. He's just doing your inseam.
都快量到我的老二了 It's getting very close to my shaft.
好了 你可以动了 All done. You can change now.
弗雷德 谢谢你 非常感谢 Thanks, Floyd. Thank you very much.
好了伙计 动作快点 Alright, Buddy. We should get a move on.
道格 我在想... You know, Doug. I was thinking...
如果你不带我去维加斯 我也完全没意见 If you wanna go to Vegas without me, it's totally cool.
说什么呢 What are you talking about?
菲尔和斯图都是你的死党 再说这是你的单身派对 Phil and Stu, they're your buddies and it's your bachelor party.
别这样 艾伦 他们两个喜欢你 Come on, Alan. Those two love you.
我也不想让你因为你小舅子在那 I also don't want you to have to hold
就不能尽情的玩 Back because your wife's brother is there.
不是... It's not like that...
不是那样 我告诉过你艾伦 It's not like that. I already told you, Alan.
我们只在维加斯呆一个晚上 没什么大不了的 We're just spending a night in vegas. It's no big deal.
而且你不仅是我小舅子 现在也是我的好兄弟了 Besides, you're not just my wife's brother, you're my brother now.
道格 我希望你知道 我嘴很严 I want you to know, Doug, I'm a steel-trap.
不管今晚发生什么 我都不会说出去 Whatever happens tonight, I will never, ever, speak a word of it.
我明白 谢谢 其实不用那么... Okay, I got it. Thank you. I don't think that...
老实说 我不在乎在那儿会发生什么 Seriously, I don't care what happens.
我也不在乎在那儿我们会不会杀人 I don't care if we kill someone.
什么 What?
那可是罪恶之城 You heard me. It's sin city.
看好你吧 Hold your soul.
好吧 我会的 Okay, I got it.
-谢谢 -应该谢你才对 - Thank you. - No. thank you.
我很爱你 I love you so much.
不 希德 No, Sid.
-真的吗 -过来 我们到家了 - Really? - Come on. We're family now.
你说真的 这可是你的爱车 Are you sure? You love this car.
道格 车在好不也只是部车 不过你到那以后 Doug, it's just a car. Just make sure when you get there...
最好装个挡泥板 这样沙子就不会钻进轮胎里了 Put some armor all on the tires so the sand doesn't seep in.
绝对装 木问题 Absolutely. That's easy.
别让艾伦开 他脑子秀逗了 Don't let Alan drives. Because, there's something wrong with him.
-明白 -也别让菲尔开 我不喜欢他 - Understood. - And Phil either. I don't like him.
-除了我谁都不会碰它 我保证 -很好 - I will be the only one driving this car. I promise. - Good.
记住 维加斯发生的事情只会留在维加斯 Remember. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
除了长疱疹 那玩意也许会跟着你回来 Except for herpes. That shit'll come back with you.
等一下 谁还没交家长许可条 Hold on, I still need some of your permission slips.
下星期参观格里菲斯天文台要加90块钱 And $90 for the field trip to the Griffith Observatory next weekend.
快交钱 Pay now.
错过了会抱憾终生的 Or forever regret missing out in this experience of a lifetime.
小伙子们 Guys.
-做得好 你交了 -谢谢你 维尼克先生 - You're good. You got it. - Thank you Mr. Wenneck.
维森 谢谢你 鲍勃谢谢你 可以走了 Thank you, Wilson. Thanks Bob. Way to go.
-非得停得这么近吗 -怎么了 - Do you have to park so close? -Yeah. what's wrong?
我们不该来这 We shouldn't be here.
艾伦 为什么 Why is that Alan?
我不想待在方圆200英尺有学校的的地方 I'm not supposed to be within 200 feet of a school.
-什么 -查克芝士儿童餐厅也很讨厌 - What？ - Or chuck e. cheese.
-你好 维克尼先生 -尼克 周末时间请勿打扰 - Hey, Mr. Wenneck. - It's the weekend, Nick. I don't know you.
你不该出现 You do not exist.
-车太酷了 -我要开车了 - Shit. Nice car. - I'm driving.
别 别踩 No chance, but... don't step...
闭嘴赶快开车 Will you shut up and drive before one
要不这些小鬼又该缠着我了 Of these nerds ask me another question.
-这位是 -艾伦 崔西的哥哥 - Who's this? -It's Alan. Tracy's brother.
-我好像见过四次面 -没错 最近怎么样 - I met you like, four times. - Oh yeah. How you doin', man?
-把落健（生发水）带上 -落健 好的 - Don't forget your rogaine. - Rogaine, check.
别忘了用 And don't forget to use it.
你忘用了几次 头发就变稀了 I can totally tell when you forget. Your hair just looks thinner.
别忘了用落健生发水 好的 Using of the rogaine, check.
到了就给我打电话 And make sure to call me right when you get to the hotel,
别像上次那样 not like that...
你到凤凰城出差 我等了两个小时的电话 Conference in phoenix. I had to wait two hours for you to call me.
那次我是主讲人 我上去的晚了 I was the keynote speaker. I was late to the podium.
-还是... -你是对的 对不起 - Still... - Yeah, you're totally right. I'm sorry.
-怎么了 -不知道 - What is the matter? - I don't know.
我只知道你一出门就会去脱衣舞俱乐部 I just know you're gonna go to a strip club when you're out there.
梅丽莎 我们是去纳伯谷 Melissa, we're going to Napa Valley.
酿酒的村子里怎么会有艳舞俱乐部 I don't even think they have strip club in wine country.
菲尔鼻子那么灵 如果那有的话 他早就发现了 I'm sure if there's one, Phil will sniff it out.
不会那样的 It's not gonna be like that.
你知道我怎么看那些东西 Besides, you know how I feel about that sort of thing.
我知道 只是小伙子和他们的单身派对 真恶心 I know, it's just, boys and their bachelor parties. It's gross.
没错 是恶心 You're right. it is gross.
别说得这么可怜 那些地方都不干净 Not to mention it's pathetic. Those places are filthy.
最恶心的是... And the worst part is...
那些姑娘们在台上扭来扭去 That little girl grinding,
搔首弄姿 and dry humping the fucking stage up there.
-她们也是别人的女儿 -她们也是别人的女儿 - That's somebody's daughter up there. - That's somebody's daughter up there.
-我刚想这么说 -你瞧 - I was just gonna say that. - See?
我只希望你的朋友也能像你一样成熟 I just wish your friends were as mature as you.
实际上他们很成熟 They are mature, actually.
只是你还不了解他们 You just have to get to know them better.
呼叫笨蛋医生 Paging doctor Faggot.
笨蛋医生 Doctor Faggot.
-我要走了 -叫得好 笨蛋医生 - I should go. - That's a good idea, dr. faggot.
周末愉快 我会想你的 Have a good weekend. I'll miss you.
公路旅行 Road trip!
维加斯 维加斯 宝贝 Hey, Vegas! Vegas, baby.
维加斯 Vegas.
拜托 我们才开到巴斯图 别人都比我们快 Come on, just 'till barstow. Everybody's passing us.
才不是呢 Absolutely not.
我答应了希德 只有我一个人开 I promised Sid, I will be the only one driving this car.
-而且你喝酒了 -什么 你是警察吗 - Besides you're drinking. - What, are you a cop now?
我喝多了以后开得更好 You know I drive great when I'm drunk.
没错 That's true.
别忘了菲尔曾是我们御用的酒鬼司机 Don't forget Phil was always our designated drunk driver.
艾伦 给他们解释一下 Do you wanna explain to them, Alan?
伙计们 我爸对着车比对我都亲呢 Guys, my dad loves this car more than he loves me, so yeah.
我把娇妻爱子丢在家里 I left my wife and my kid at home
就为跟你们去维加斯 So I can go with you guys to Vegas.
你知道那有多难吗 Do you know how difficult that was?
菲尔 听起来很甜蜜 It's really sweet, Phil.
我说的是反话 我讨厌我的生活 I was being sarcastic. I fucking hate my life.
我也许不回去了 可能就留在维加斯 I may never go back. I might just stay in Vegas.
好啊 Here we go.
道格 我们应该享受一下 You know, Doug. You should enjoy yourself.
因为到周末了 Because come saturday...
日复一日 生活总是那么无聊 You're gonna start dying a little bit. Everyday.
所以我一直单身 That's why I managed to stay single this whole time.
真的 就因为这个 太棒了 Oh, really? That's why you're single? Cool. Good to know.
艾伦 我可以拐过去吗 Am I alright over there, Alan?
-当然 -好的 - Yeah, you're good. - Alright.
-上帝啊 -天哪 - Oh, jesus christ! - Oh, my god.
太刺激了 That was awesome.
一点都不刺激 你有病吧 That was not awesome! What's wrong with you.
你疯了吗 我们差点死了 That was insane. We almost just die.
你没看到你的表情 太经典了 You should've seen your face. It's classic.
-真好玩 -这并不好玩 -It's funny. - It's not funny.
赌术大全
-你的车很不错 -别碰它 - You've got a sweet ride there. -Don't touch it.
看都别看 快走 你听见我说什么了 Don't even look at it. go on. Get out. You heard me.
也不要这样看我 Don't look at me either.
对 你最好别停下 Yeah, you better walk on.
-他挺好玩的 -对啊 心地很好 - He's actually kind of funny. - Yeah, he means well.
公共场合老头我也照打不误 I'll hit an old man in public.
他没事吧 我是说精神上 Is he all there, like, mentally?
当然没问题 他只是有点怪 I think so, he's just not guy, and he's kind of weird.
-我们要小心点吗 -没必要 - Should we be worried? - No.
崔西没说不让他玩牌 也没说不让他喝酒 Tracy did mention that we shouldn't let him gamble or drink to much.
上帝啊 他像个孩子似的 还需要好好引导 Jesus, he's like a gremlin. Comes with instructions and shit
还有一瓶水 And one water.
-我会和梅丽莎成为朋友吗 -当然 - I'll go with Melissa? - Oh, yeah.
我告诉她还有两小时我们就到酒村了 I told her we're two hour outside of wine country.
她让买这个 And she bought it.
你不觉得很奇怪吗 你们在一起3年了 Don't you think it's strange that you've been in relationship for 3 years.
可还不能告诉她你是去维加斯 But you still have to lie about going to vegas.
没错 Yeah, I do.
但相信我 不值为这事吵架 But, trust me it's not worth the fight.
就是说 你不能去维加斯 So,you can't go to Vegas but she can
但她却可以和服务员在游轮上做爱 Fuck a bellhop on a carnival cruise line.
首先 那个人是酒保 其次 她喝醉了 Okay, first of all, he was a bartender. And she was wasted.
而且 他根本就没进去 And if you must know, he didn't even come inside her.
-这你也信? -信 - And you believe that? - Yeah I do believe that.
因为她觉得精液很恶心(囧) Because she's grossed out by semen.
一共32.5美元 That'll be $32.50.
32.5美元 我来付 It's $32.50, I'll pay for it.
这上面说我们应该分工合作 It says here we should work in teams.
谁做我的搭档 Who wants to be my spotter?
艾伦 我觉得你今晚不该赌太多 I don't think you should be doing too much gambling tonight, Alan.
赌博 谁说这是赌博了 Gambling? Who said anything about gambling?
如果你铁定会赢就这不是赌博了 It's not gambling when you know you're gonna win.
计数卡很安全的 Counting card is a foolproof system.
-那是犯法的 -不犯法 只是大家不赞成 就像... - It's also illegal. - It's not illegal. It's frowned upon, like...
在飞机上打飞机一样 Masturbating on an airplane.
我很肯定那也是犯法的 I'm pretty sure that's illegal too.
是吧 也许911以后大家都有点太敏感了 Yeah, maybe after 9/11 where everybody gets so sensitive.
真该感谢你了 拉登 Thanks a lot, bin laden.
不管怎样 你得比计数器聪明N倍才行 Either way, you gotta be super smart to count cards, buddy.
真的吗 Oh, really?
-这并不简单 -也许我们应该把这个告诉雨人 - It's not easy. - Maybe we should tell that to rain man...
他几乎让赌场破产 Because he practically bankrupted the casino.
而他是个 日障 And he was a 'ratard.'
什么 What?
他是个 日障 He was a 'ratard.'
是"智障" Retard.
我们走吧 Here we go.
欢迎来到凯撒宫 Hi, welcome to caesar's.
-要入住吗 -对 - Checking in? - Yeah.
普瑞斯医生定的房间 We have a reservation under Dr. Price.
好的 我查一下 Okay, let me look that up for you.
普瑞斯医生? 你就是个牙医而已 别老做白日梦 Dr. price? Stu, you're a dentist. And don't try and get fancy.
-我本来就是个医生 -他是个牙医 别太激动 - It's not fancy if it's true. - He's a dentist. Don't get too excited.
如果这儿有人心脏病犯了 还是要打911的 And if someone has a heart attack, you should still call 911.
我们会的 We'll be sure to do that.
我能问个问题吗 Can I ask you a question?
-你这里有呼机信号吧 -您是什么意思 - Do you know if the hotel is pager-friendly? - What do you mean?
-我的呼机没有信号 -我不确定 - I'm not getting a sig' on my beeper. - I'm not sure.
有那种投币电话吗 一大排那种 Is there a payphone bank? bunch of payphones? business.
-您的房间里有电话 -那还行 - There's a phone in your room. - That'll work.
给您在12楼留了个带两个卧室的套房 您看怎么样 I have you in a two bedroom suite on the 12th floor, is that okay?
听起来不错 Sounds perfect.
我只想知道你们有没有别墅 Actually, I was wondering if you have any villas available.
-菲尔 我们在房间里又待不了多久 -那没必要 - Phil, we're not even gonna be in the room. - That's unnecessary.
没什么大不了的 我们一起睡 就一晚上 It's no big deal. We can share beds. One night.
如果我们要选个床友的话 我就挑菲尔 If we share beds, I'm buckle with Phil.
-你愿意吗 -不 我才不愿意呢 - You good with that? - No, I'm not good with that.
我们不能一起睡 我们还只有12岁吗 We're not sharing beds. What, are we 12 years olds?
丽萨 我想你道歉 别墅多少钱一晚 Lisa, I appologize. How much is the villa?
我们只有一座别墅 一晚是4200元 We have one villa available, and it's $4200 for the night.
-里面好吗 -很好 - Is it awesome? - It's pretty awesome.
我们订了 We'll take it.
-把你的信用卡给她 -不能用我的卡 - Give her your credit card. - I can't give her my credit card.
-我们平摊 -你干嘛 就应该我俩掏 - We'll split it. - Are you crazy? No, this is on us.
你不能用 梅丽莎会查到我们的位置 You don't get it. Melissa checks my statements.
我们只是查下信用卡的额度 We just need a credit card on file.
在你退房之前我们不会刷的 We won't charge you anything until you check out.
你可以退房的时候结账 So you can figure it out then.
很好 太好了 谢谢你 丽萨 Perfect. That's perfect. thank you, Lisa.
我们明天再结账 快点 And we'll deal with it tomorrow. Come on
好吧 Fine.
-我能问个问题吗 -当然 - Can I ask you another question? - Sure.
你应该对这很了解 You probably get this a lot.
这并不是真正的凯撒宫是吧 This isn't the real caesar's palace, is it?
您什么意思 What do you mean?
-凯撒大帝住在这吗 -不 - Did caesar live here? - No.
我也不这么认为 I didn't think so.
太棒了 Holy shit.
这才是维加斯 This is Vegas.
这太大了 Oh, my... this place is enormous.
我说一句 Now we're talking.
这是一个套间吗 It's all one suite?
谢谢伙计 或者我该说谢谢你 斯图 Thank you, guys. Or should I say thank you, Stu.
不客气 我爱你才这么做的 You're welcome. It's only because I love you.
好了 姑娘们 挑好房间 换好衣服 Okay, ladies, pick a room. Get dressed.
我们半小时后出发 We should be ready in 30 minutes.
我真希望你能到这来 因为你 I just wish you could see this place, because you, of all people...
所有人都会爱上这的 不 这很静 Would love it. Yeah. no, it's so quiet.
没有电视 没有电话 There's no tvs, no phones.
所有的房间里都只有部古董收音机 They just have this cute little antique radios in all the rooms.
还有事吗 What else?
我们见到了这的老板 你说他叫什么吗 We met the proprietor. What's his name?
西泽·帕雷斯 是的 有点像菜名 Ceasar Palace. yeah, like the salad.
好了 我得走了 我们要去尝尝葡萄酒 Okay, I gotta go. Because we're gonna hit this wine tasting.
等等 我爱你 Okay, wait. I love you.
再见 Bye.
我都无言了 你太能装了 I'm not even gonna say anything. It's so embarassing.
-艾伦呢 -他在楼下 - Where's Alan? - He went downstairs.
他说他要拿点东西 He said he had to grab a few things.
很好 给你看样东西 Good. Because I have something to show you.
-什么玩意 -你说呢 - What the hell is that? - What do you think it is?
我觉得你是在拿自己开涮呢 That's what I think it is. I think it's a big fucking mistake.
我打算在你的婚礼上向梅丽莎求婚 I'm gonna proposed to Melissa at your wedding.
在婚礼仪式之后 After the ceremony.
-斯图瑞 恭喜你 -谢谢 道格 - Stuey, congratulations. - Thank you, Doug.
-戒指真不错 -我奶奶留给我的 - That's a beautiful ring. - Yeah, that's my grandmother's.
她戴着这个经历了大屠杀 She made it all the way through the holocaust with that thing.
这可有历史了 It's legit.
我就不明白 我的话你一点都没听进去 I don't get it. Have you not listen to anything I've ever said?
菲尔 我们在一起3年了 我们该结婚了 Phil, we've been dating for 3 years. It's time. This is how it works.
第一 你在胡扯 第二 她根本就是个荡妇 A,that is bullshit. and b, she is a complete bitch.
别这么说他未婚妻 Hey, that's his fiance.
是真的 你知道是真的 她伤害了他 It's true. You know it's true. She beats him.
大家都有责任 我做的也不对 她只是有点固执而已 That was twice and I was out of line. She's strong-willed.
我理解 And I respect that.
他拒绝承认 Wow. He's in denial.
拒绝承认她跟水手的那档事了 Not to mention she fucked the sailor.
他不是水手 是船上的酒保 He wasn't a sailor. He was a bartender on a cruise ship.
你知道的 You know that.
伙计们 我还在这呢 Guys, I'm standing right here.
你们说的我都听见了 So I can hear everything you're saying.
-伙计们 你们准备把狗放出去吗 -什么 - Hey, guys, you ready to let the dogs out? - What?
把狗放出去 就像谁把狗放出来(歌名) Let the dogs out. Wou know, like, who let the dogs out.
谁让他来的 Who brought this guy along?
好的 艾伦 我们会把狗放出去的 Yes, Alan. We're ready to let the dogs out.
-恭喜你 -谢谢 - Hey, congrats. - Thank you.
你不是真打算背着这玩意出门吧 You're not really wearing that, are you?
-背着什么 -钱包 - Wearing what? - The man purse.
你是真打算背它还是在耍我 You're actually gonna wear that or you guys just fuckin' with me?
我要用它装东西 This is where I keep all my things.
它颇受赞誉 I get a lot of compliments on this.
另外说一句这不是钱包 它叫背包 Plus it's not a man purse. It's called a satchel.
夺宝奇兵里就有 Indiana jones wears one.
丑女贝蒂也用它 So does Joy Behar.
-我们要上去 -好啊 我们也去 - We're going up, guys. - Yeah, that's perfect.
真的 Really?
我们要上楼吗 We're going up?
我说了这个标识牌写的很清楚 I'm just saying it's clearly marked, okay?
我们真不应该上这儿来 We're definitely not supposed to be up here.
斯图 别墅要住的物有所值 C'mon, Stu. We're paying for the villa.
我们想干什么就要干什么 We can do whatever the fuck we want.
把门顶住 Just wedge the door up.
伙计们 跟我来 Guy's come on up here.
-你怎么找到这的 -这你就别管了 - How the hell did you find this place? - Don't worry about it.
-行吗 -当然 - You alright? - Yeah.
瞧瞧这的景色 Look at the view up here.
-你喜欢吗 -真美 - Are you happy? - This is great.
你开玩笑吗 Wow. Are you kidding?
-艾伦 你觉得怎么样 -很好 - Alan, how are we doing, buddy? - Good.
艾伦 你在那干什么 What do you got over there, Alan?
是埃菲尔铁塔 That's the Eiffel Tower.
野格利酒 好主意 A little yagermeister. Good idea.
-名字不错 -在房顶上畅饮 - Good call. - On the roof.
真不错 让我们举杯 This is good. I'd like to make a toast.
为道格和崔西 愿今晚成为... To Doug and Tracy. May tonight be...
婚前的放松 But a minor speed-bump.
是为了让婚姻更加长久 健康 And in otherwise very long and healthy marriage.
干杯 Cheers.
-有点像葡萄酒 -我来说两句 - It's like college. - I wanna talk about something.
我来说两句 I'd like to... I'd like to say something.
-这是我为今晚准备的 -好的 艾伦 - That I prepared tonight. - Alright, Alan.
大家好 Hello.
旅程如何 我猜这就是罪恶之城的意思 How bout that ride in. I guess that's why they call it sin city.
你们也许不知道 You guys might not know this,
但我觉得我有点不合群 but I considered myself a bit of a loner.
我总是独来独往 一个人战斗 I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack.
当我妹妹带道格回家时 我就知道他是自己人 But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own.
我们的狼友队伍又新增了一员 And my wolf pack, it grew by one.
所以狼群里有我们两个了 So there were two of us in the wolf pack.
一开始只有我一人 然后道格加入了 I was alone first in the pack, and then Doug joined in later.
六个月前 当道格把我介绍给你们时 And six months ago, when Doug introduced me to you guys...
我想 等等 可能是... I thought, "Wait a second. Could it be...?"
现在我很确信 我的狼友队伍又增加了两名成员 And now I know for sure. I just added two more guys to my wolf pack.
好的 Alright.
我们四匹狼 奔跑在沙漠中 奔跑在拉斯维加斯 Four of us wolves. Running around the desert together. In Las Vegas.
寻找可卡因和脱衣舞娘 Looking for strippers and cocaine.
今晚 我说了祝酒词 So tonight, I make a toast.
你拿的什么 What do you got there?
-他妈的搞什么 -你在干什么 - What the fuck? - What are you doing?
-什么意思 -歃血为盟 - What is that? - Blood brothers.
-该死 艾伦 别 -我才不干呢 让他快住手 - God damn it. Alan, no. - I'm not doing that. Make him stop.
艾伦 我们才不会割自己呢 把刀给我 慢点 谢谢 Alan, we're not gonna cut ourselves. Give me the knife. Slowly. Thank you.
你没事儿吧 需要叫医生吗 Are you alright? Do you need a doctor?
-他很好 他没事 -你确定吗 - He's fine. He's good. - Are you sure?
-我很好 -很好 - I'm good. - Perfect.
-艾伦 这边来 伙计 -过来点 疯子 - Alan, come here, buddy. - Get in here, crazy.
好的 敬属于我们四人的难忘一夜 Alright. To a night the four of us will never forget.
干杯 Cheers.
他妈的搞什么 What the fuck?
管好自己 兄弟 该死 你能穿上裤子吗 Control yourself, man. God damn. Will you put on some pants?
-菲尔 别进浴室 -艾伦 别紧张 是我 - Phil, do not go in the bathroom. - Alan, just calm down it's me.
菲尔 浴室里有只老虎 Phil, there is a tiger in the bathroom.
怎么了 What's going on?
浴室里有只丛林大猫 There's a jungle cat in the bathroom.
好 我去看看 Okay, I'll check it out.
小心点 别去 Be careful. Don't.
我靠 他没开玩笑 里面真有只老虎 Holy fuck. He's not kidding. There's a tiger in there.
-不 没有 -有 - No, there isn't. - Yeah.
那家伙超大 That bitch is gigantic.
-你还好吗 伙计 -不 我现在好疼 - You okay, buddy? - No. I'm in so much pain right now.
该死 看看这地方被我们搞得 God damn. Look at this place.
我知道 菲尔 我的信用卡还在他们手里呢 我死定了 I know. Phil, they have my credit card downstairs. I'm so screwed.
老虎怎么跑进浴室里的 差点吓死我 How does a tiger get in the bathroom? It almost killed me.
你就不能穿上裤子吗 You mind putting on some pants?
这都要我问你两次 I find it a little weird I have to ask twice.
裤子 这样的吗 我没有 Pants, at times like this? I dont have any.
昨天晚上他妈的怎么了 What the fuck happened last night.
菲尔 我是不是少了颗牙 Hey, Phil, am I missing a tooth?
天哪 Oh, my god.
我的虎牙 不见了 My lateral incisor, it's gone.
冷静点 我们很好 一切都没事儿 Okay, just calm down. We're fine. Everything is fine.
艾伦 去叫醒道格 Alan, go wake up Doug.
我们去喝点咖啡然后离开这该死的内华达 Let's get some coffee and get the fuck out of Nevada...
要在管家出现之前 Before house-keeping shows up.
我要怎么和梅丽莎说 我没了一颗牙 What am I gonna tell Melissa? I lost a tooth.
我都不知道怎么搞没的 I have no idea how it happened.
你让我很抓狂 伙计 我头很疼 我们都冷静点 You freaking me out, man. I got a massive headache. Let's just calm down.
我怎么冷静得了 看看你周围 How am I supposed to calm down? Look around you.
伙计们 他不在那里 Hey, guys, he's not in there.
-你所有房间都看过了吗 -是的 我都看过了 - Did you check all the rooms? - Yeah, I looked everywhere.
而且他的床垫也不见了 Plus his mattress is gone.
他可能去游泳池吃东西了 我们打他电话 He probably went to the pool to get something to eat. Let's call his cell.
我看起来跟个傻逼似的 I look like a nerdy hillbilly.
-艾伦 -喂 - Alan. - Hey.
-我是菲尔 -噢 菲尔 你好 - It's Phil. - Oh, hey Phil...
这是道格的电话 This is Doug's phone.
-没错 -是的 - No shit. - Yeah.
那是他妈的又是什么 What the fuck is that?
这是他妈的谁的婴儿 Whose fucking baby is that?
艾伦 你确定再其他人在房间里吗 Alan, are you sure you didn't see anyone else in the suite?
是的 我所有房间都检查过了 没人 Yeah, I checked all the rooms. No one's here.
我们看看他的衣领有没有标记什么的 Check its collar or something.
没事 宝贝 It's okay, baby.
斯图 我们没时间管这个了 Stu, we don't have time for this.
我们去和道格联系 晚点再来处理婴儿 Let's go hook up with Doug. We'll deal with the baby later.
菲尔 我们不能把一个婴儿留在房间里 Phil, we're not gonna leave a baby in the room.
他妈的有只老虎在浴室里 There's a fucking tiger in the bathroom.
-又不是我们的婴儿 -是啊 我这次站在斯图这边 - It's not our baby. - Yeah, I gotta side with Stu on this one.
好吧 我们带着他吧 你连条裤子都找不到吗? Alright, fine. We'll take it with us. Can you at least find some pants?
我们怎么啥事儿都不记得了 Why can't we remember a god damned thing from last night?
因为我们他妈的昨晚玩得太爽了 Because we obviously had a great fucking time.
你就不能先不提这事儿吗 Why don't you just stop worrying for one minute.
你应该为自己骄傲才对 Proud of yourself.
真可爱 他叫什么 Oh, how cute. What's his name?
本 Ben.
卡洛斯 Carlos.
卡洛斯 Carlos?
菲尔 看 Hey, Phil, look.
他在打自己的小飞机呢(囧) He's jacking his little weenis.
别扯淡了 伙计 Pull yourself together, man.
在桌边这么干可不行 卡洛斯(囧) Not at the table, Carlos.
我到处都找过了 I looked everywhere.
健身房 赌场 前台 没人看见道格 他不在这里 Gym, casino, front desk nobody seen Doug. He's not here.
他很好 他是成年人了 He's fine. He's a grown man.
斯图 别太紧张了 喝点果汁吧 Seriously, Stu. You gotta calm down. Here, have some juice.
好吧 我们一起来回想下 Okay, let's just track this thing.
我们昨晚还记得的最后一件事儿是什么? What's the last thing we remember doing last night?
一开始我们在房顶上 喝着野格酒 The first thing was we're on the roof and we're having shots of yager.
-然后我们在帕姆餐厅吃饭 对吧 -对 - And then we had dinner at The Palm, right? - That's right.
然后在硬石吧玩螃蟹(一种赌博) 我想道格应该在那里 Then we play craps at the Hard Rock, and I think Doug was there.
听起来有道理啊 不 他肯定在那里 That sounds right. No, he definitely was.
我甚至都不记得去吃过饭 You know what, guys? I don't even remember going to dinner.
他妈的这是怎么了 我从没喝酒这么难受过 I know. What the fuck? I don't think I've ever been this hungover.
在硬石吧玩完之后我就晕了 后面的就啥都不知道了 After the Hard Rock I blacked out. It was like emptiness.
我们晚上10点还跟他一起 那么... We have him until 10 p.m so that gives us...
我们可能是在过去12小时弄丢他的 A twelve hour window where we could've lost him.
这是什么 What is this?
天啊 那是我的牙 Oh, my god. That is my tooth.
怎么在你那里? Why do you have that?
你口袋里还有什么? What else is in your pocket?
这是好事啊 都检查下你们口袋 No, it's a good thing. Check your pockets.
有什么东西吗 Do you have anything?
我有一张波拉哥(维加斯著名脱衣舞酒店)的ATM收据 I have an ATM receipt from The Bellagio.
11:05消费800美元 我他妈的完蛋了 11:05 for $800. I am so fucked.
我有一张凯撒宫的服务票 看起来我们是5:15回去的 I have a valet ticket from Caesar's. Looks like we got in at 5:15 am.
糟糕 我们昨晚开车了吗 Oh, shit. We drove last night?
酒后驾车 太棒了 Driving drunk. Classic.
你手臂上是什么 What's on your arm?
-这是他妈的什么 -老天 菲尔 你昨晚进过医院 - What the fuck? - Jesus. Phil, you were in the hospital last night.
-我想也是 -你还好吗 - I guess so, yeah. - You okay?
是的 艾伦 我很好 Yeah, Alan. I'm fine.
-到底发生什么了 -斯图 这是好事 我们现在有线索了 - What the hell is going on? - Stu, this is a good thing. We have a lead now.
斯图 看这个 Hey, Stu. Watch this.
你看过婴儿干这个么? Do you ever see a baby do that?
艾伦 这不好玩 Alan, it's not cool.
你能照顾好这个婴儿吗 Are you sure you're qualified to be taking care of that baby?
你开玩笑吧 我以前捡到过一个婴儿 What are you talkin' about? I've found a baby before.
-你以前捡到过一个婴儿 -是的 - You've found a baby before? - Yeah.
-哪里 -咖啡豆(一咖啡厅连锁店) - Where? - Coffee bean.
菲尔 我觉得道格不会让我们开那辆老爷车的 Hey, Phil, I don't think Doug would want us to take the mercedes.
没事儿 我们会小心的 Relax we'll be careful.
我老爸会抓狂的 他只让道格开这车 My dad is crazy about that car and he left Doug in charge.
艾伦 我们这里有大麻烦了 道格可能在医院里 Alan, we got bigger problems here. Doug could be in hospital.
他可能受伤了 He could be hurt.
车子的事情晚点再说吧 Let's worry about the car later.
伙计们 你们看 Guys, check it out.
那是道格房里的床垫吗 Is that the mattress from Doug's room?
他妈的搞什么 What the fuck?
发生什么事了 Hey, what's going on?
昨晚有个混蛋把床丢出窗户了 Some assholes threw his bed off the window last night.
没错 No shit.
有些家伙在维加斯就是混不下去 Some guys just can't handle Vegas.
都会好起来的 斯图 It's gonna be okay, Stu.
一张床垫怎么会... How the hell did a mattress...
你们的车 警官们 Here's your car, officers.
天哪 Oh, god.
好吧 大家冷静 别说话 上车走人 Alright, everybody act cool. Don't say a word. Let's just get in and go.
-斯图 你有5块钱么 -没有 - Stu, you got a 5? - No.
我回来再给你小费 I'll hit you on the way back.
谢了 先生 Thank you, sir.
天哪 Oh, my god.
你刚把孩子撞到了 You just nailed the baby.
我的眼镜没坏吧 My glasses okay?
你的眼镜没事 混蛋 Your glasses are fine, dick.
这回犯大事儿了 This is so illegal.
你就不能乐观点吗 Can't you see the fun part of anything?
我们偷了辆警车 然后堵在这里... Yeah we're stuck in traffic in a stolen police car...
后座还有一个不知道谁家的婴儿 With what is sure to be a missing child in the back seat.
哪里能让人笑得出来? Which part of this is fun?
我觉得警车这部分很酷 I think the cop car part is pretty cool.
谢谢 艾伦 是很酷 道格会喜欢的 Thank you, Alan. It is cool. Doug would love it.
拜托 Come on.
看这个 Check this out.
-别 菲尔 别这么干 -别紧张 - Oh, no. Don't, Phil. Don't do this. - Take it easy.
-别尝试引来更多人注意我们 -注意 - Just don't try to call for more attention to us. - Attention.
-抱歉 -请注意 离开道路 - Sorry - Attention, please. Move out of the way.
我重复 请散开 I repeat. Please disperse.
菲尔 停车 我想下去 靠边 Phil, stop the car. I wanna get out. Pull over.
穿豹纹裙的夫人... Ma'm, in the leopard dress...
您身材好辣 You have an amazing rack.
快离开人行道 Get off the sidewalk.
我真他妈的该当警察 I should've been a fucking cop.
嘿 不是跟你说过了吗 Look, I already told you.
你只是轻微脑震荡和肋部轻微擦伤 You came in here with a mild concussion, some bruised ribs.
没啥大事儿 No big deal.
不过你们没人能说明白怎么搞的 Although none of you could articulate how it happened.
你记得当时我们有多少人来吗 Do you remember how many of us were here?
不大记得了 我想就你们几个吧 I don't know. I think it was just you guys.
肯定没婴儿 Definitely no baby.
另外还有个家伙 And one other guy.
那是我们朋友 他好吗 That's our guy. Was he okay?
是的 他很好 只是脑子不清醒 你们都不清醒 Yeah, he was fine. Just whacked out of his mind. You all were.
好的 过来 Alright. Come forward.
转身 And turn.
好的 我们开始 Alright, here we go.
咳嗽 And cough.
咳嗽 Cough.
再来一下 Give me one more.
好的 干得好 Alright. attaboy.
菲利克斯 你可以穿上衣服了 护士马上就到 Felix, you can put your robe on. The nurse will be here in a minute.
我周末后再看你 I'll see you after the weekend.
谢谢 医生 Thank you, doctor.
伙计们 我真得走了 抱歉 我要上四楼手术 Guys, I really gotta go. I'm sorry. I have a surgery up on the 4th floor.
我明白 我们只需要再占用你几分钟 I know. We just need a couple more minutes of your time.
好吧 塞到这里 我不想重新消毒 Yeah. Tuck it right in there. I don't wanna resterilized.
跟我走 Walk with me.
好的 我们看看 病人名叫菲尔·维尼克 Okay, here we go. Patient name Phil Wenneck.
凌晨2:45到达 2:45 a.m arrival.
轻微脑震荡 我说过的 一些擦伤 比较标准 Minor concussion like I said. Some bruising. Pretty standard.
你介意给我看看吗 我事实上是个医生 Do you mind if I take a look. I'm actually a doctor.
你昨晚说这个说了好几次 You said that several times last night.
但是 事实上 你只是牙医 But, really, you're just a dentist.
好的 这真有意思 Okay, this is interesting.
你的血检结果早上出来了 Your blood work came in this morning.
在你身体里发现大量如菲林 They found a large amount of roophyllin in your system.
如菲林 俗称"飞魂" 又被叫做"约会迷奸药" Roophyllin? Roofies? Commonly known as the "date rape drug?"
你是说我昨晚被强奸了吗 Are you saying I was raped last night?
事实上... Actually...
我觉得没有 但是 的确有人对你下药 I don't think so. But, someone did slip you the drug.
你什么都不记得很正常 I'm not surprised you don't remember anything.
医生 我们没人记得昨晚的事情 记得吗 Doc, none of us can remember anything from last night. Remember?
怎么会有人对我们都下药呢 How could someone drugged all of us?
我没什么可担心的 现在你们身体里的药都排光了 I wouldn't be worried about it. By now the stuff is out of your system.
你们会好的 我得走了 You're gonna be fine. I have to go.
请等下 医生 Wait, please doctor.
其他的呢 比如我们说过的事 Is there anything else like something we've been talking about?
或者我们要去的地方 Or some place we were going?
你们的确说过一些话 Actually there was something.
你们昨晚一直在谈论什么婚礼 You guys kept talking about some wedding last night.
是的 没错 我们的兄弟道格明天要结婚 Yeah. No shit. Our buddy Doug is getting married tomorrow.
-我想要回那一百块 -别 放松 - I want the hundred back. - No. Easy.
你们一直在说你们从某个婚礼上过来的 You kept talking about some wedding that you just came from.
在"极品小教堂" At the Best Little Chapel.
你们一直在说那婚礼是如何变态... You guys kept saying how sick the wedding was...
然后又说那个婚礼爽极了 And getting all crazy about it.
我希望这能帮上你们 伙计们 我真的要走了 I hope this helps, fellas. I really have to leave.
你知道"极品小教堂"吗 它在哪里 You know Best Little Chapel? Do you know where that is?
我知道 查地图 然后出门滚蛋 然后就到了 I do. It's on the corner of "get a map" and "fuck off".
我是个医生 不是导游 I'm a doctor, not a tour guide.
都自己解决 好吗 你们都不是小孩儿了 Figure it out yourself, okay? you're big boys.
这婴儿怎么办 What about the baby?
把他留在车里吧 我们只需要5分钟 Just leave him in the car. We're only gonna be 5 minutes.
-我们不能把一个婴儿留在车里 -他会没事的 我开着窗户 - We're not leaving a baby in the car. - He'll be fine. I cracked the window.
-万一他们不记得我们怎么办 -看看就知道了 - What if they don't remember us. - Well, let's just find out.
打扰了 先生 Excuse me sir.
看看谁来了 怎么了 你们想我了 Look at these guys. What happened? You missed me?
你们想艾迪了 你们需要我再做些什么吗 过来 我的朋友 You miss Eddie. You want more from me? Come here, my friend.
看看这位伙计 真他妈的疯狂 Look at this guy. You fucking crazy.
怎么了 伙计们 What's going on, man?
我这辈子见过很多疯子 Listen, I wanna tell you something. I know some sick people in my life.
但这家伙是我见过最疯狂最狂野的混蛋 This guy is the craziest, wildest bastard I ever met in my life.
这家伙完全疯透了 This guy is out of his mind.
怎么了 疯子 What's going on, you fucking crazy motherfucker?
我觉得他想给我吹萧 I thought he was gonna eat my dick.
怎么了 不喜欢艾迪了吗 都不拥抱我 What happened? No love for Eddie? You don't hug me?
不 不是那样 艾迪 只是... No, it's not that, Eddie. It's just that...
我们想不起来昨晚的事情了 We're having a hard time remembering what happened here last night.
这里有过一个婚礼吗 你们办过一个婚礼吗 Was there a wedding here? Do you do a weddings here?
你在耍我吧 伙计 You're cracking my balls, man.
艾迪 显然我们昨晚在这里 Eddie, obviously we were here last night.
我们在找一个朋友 道格 We're looking for a friend, Doug.
-你记得他吗 -记得 那个小家伙 跟个猴子似的 - Do you remember him? - Yeah. Yhe small guy. Like a monkey.
-你看到他了吗 -当然 - You saw him? - Of course.
你能告诉我们昨晚发生了什么吗 Is there anything you can tell us about what may have happened last night?
你们什么都不记得了吗 You don't remember nothing?
恭喜你 斯图 你结婚了 Congratulations, Stu. You got married.
不可能 This can't be happening.
-天哪 -看这个 - Oh, god. - Look at that.
看起来你昨晚在这儿嗨极了 I tell you one thing. You looked seriously happy here, man.
就这样 我的人生结束了 That's it. My life is over.
斯图 没事 大家都有倒霉的时候 梅丽莎不会知道的 Stu, its okay. Shit happens. Melissa's not gonna know anything about this.
这个就当从没发生过 我会处理的 This never happened. I'll take care of it.
那些是什么 Hey, what's all that?
这是"挥霍者套装" 你们预订的 The high-roller package. It's what you guys order.
有咖啡杯 I have coffee mugs.
有棒球帽 You have baseball caps, huh?
还有印有斯图和杰德照片的漂亮日历 And fancy calendars all with pictures of Stu and Jade.
-她名叫杰德 -是的 她很漂亮 伙计 - Her name's Jade? - Yeah, she's beautiful, man.
整洁 身材好 胸部是那样的 不过那是因为她生过孩子 Clean. Very tight. Tits, like that. But that's because she had a baby.
-这就解释了婴儿 -卡洛斯 - That explains the baby. - Oh, Carlos.
-很好 -好的 艾迪 是这样的 我们昨晚犯了大错 - Great - Alright. Eddie, here's the deal. We made a major mistake last night.
我们要立即解除婚姻关系 We need to get this marriage annuled immediately.
-你们这儿也办离婚吧 -我们当然办了 - You do annulments? - Of course I do annulments.
它总会让我伤心的 It breaks my heart and gonna make me very sad.
但没问题的 我会给你们定个好价钱 But it's not a problem. I'm gonna make a very good price for you.
不过只有他不行 需要女方参加 要双方都得参加的 I can't do it with just him though. I need the chick. I need both parties.
没问题 那样很好 Not a problem. That's great.
难道不好吗 斯图 Isn't that great, Stu?
拜托 伙计 她可能知道道格在哪 C'mon, buddy. She probably know where Doug is.
-很好 -好的 - Awesome. - Alright.
我们需要她的地址 她一定填过一些表的 对吧 We need her address. She must have filled out some paperworks, right?
当然 Of course.
抱歉 你怎么了 Hey, excuse me. What's the matter with you?
去拿表格 我爱你一万年 Go get the paperwork now. I've spent my life waiting for you.
快点 顺便把巴哈拉拿来 Come on. And get the bakhala, please.
菲尔 我老爸的车怎么办 Hey, Phil, what about my dad's car?
肯定在道格那里 我们会拿回的 I'm sure Doug has it. We'll get it back.
我建议我们烧掉警车和这些东西 Then I vote we torch the cop car and all the shit with it.
烧掉 你疯了吧 Torch it? Who are you?
我不知道 菲尔 显然我娶了个完全陌生的人 I don't know, Phil. Apparently I'm a guy who married a complete strangers.
这整个事情都完全遭透了 This whole situation is completely fucked.
咖啡杯 帽子 警车 These mugs. This hat. This car.
这全都证明了一个"不存在"的夜晚的存在 It's all evidence of a night that never happened.
所以我们要烧掉它们 That is why we're torching all of it.
我是老师 我有家庭 I'm a school teacher. I got a family.
我可以保密 但我不会烧他妈的警车 I'm on for secrecy. But I'm not gonna torch a fucking cop car.
好吧 我来烧 Fine. I'll do it.
-我能帮忙吗 -可以 谢谢 -Can I help? - Yeah. Thanks.
-糟糕 是道格吗 -不是我的 - Shit. Is it Doug? - I don't have any.
-一定是道格 -是梅丽莎 - It's Doug. - It's Melissa.
-别接 -我必须接 她已经打过两次了 - Don't answer it. - I have to. She's called twice already.
喂 宝贝 你好吗 Hey, sweetheart. How are you?
终于接电话了 我已经给你打了三次了 There you are. It's the third time I'm trying you.
我知道 这里的信号很差 I know. The receptions up here is crazy.
-我觉得可能是红杉树阻挡了信号 -真讨厌 - I think it's all the sequoia trees block the signal. - I hate that.
那昨晚上过的怎么样 So, how was it last night?
真的很有意思 很安静 一段美好时光 It was really fun actually. It's kinda quiet. it was a good time.
-听起来不错 -我们尝遍了那些传说中的美酒 -That sounds nice. -We're on in all kind of vino factoids.
要是我能给孩子喂奶就好了 So cool if I could breast-feed, you know.
我们要去开拖拉机 我马上就要出发了 We're about to go for a tractor ride. So I should probably get going.
开拖拉机? 真有意思 A tractor ride? So pretty.
快走啊 滚出来 Let's go. Out of the car.
-那是什么? -他们开始发动拖拉机了 - What was that? - They just started up the tractor.
可能有点逆火 I think it backfired.
他到底在哪 Where the hell is he?
别紧张 我觉得我们在找同样的人 Hey, easy. I think we're looking for the same guy.
你他妈干什么 老兄 What the hell, man?
你到底在哪 那是个婴儿吗 Where the fuck are you? Is that a baby?
怎么说是婴儿呢 我们在酒厂 那是山羊 Why it has to be a baby? We're in winery. It's a goat.
他在哪 Where is he?
我怎么知道? I don't know what you're talking about.
先生 你就不能发动拖拉机赶快离开这里? Sir, could you please start the tractor so we can get out of here?
我也想 但是我们卡住了 I'm trying to but we're fuckin' blocked.
到底发生什么事了 斯图 Oh, my god. What the hell is happening, Stu?
喂 车上有个孩子 Hey, there's a baby on board!
有人说孩子了 Someone just said baby.
-下车 -是小羊羔 - Get out of the car. - It's a baby goat.
中国佬 你为什么跟的我生意过不去 Chinese guy, why do you making trouble for my business, man.
现在就离开这里 Go away from here now.
-现在就从车里滚出来 -菲尔 他有枪 - Get out of the fuckin' car. - Phil, he's got a gun.
他会开枪的 No shit he's gotta gun.
我一会给你回电话 I gotta call you back.
-他们射伤艾迪了 -该死的 - They shot Eddie. - Fuck this shit.
快走 快走 快 Go, go, go.
-这可不是玩笑 -他们是谁 - That was some serious shit. - Who were those guys?
我们会好的 一切都会好的 We're gonna be okay. Everything's gonna be okay.
到底是他妈的怎么回事啊 What the fuck is going on?
我也不知道 I have no idea.
让电话打进语音信箱好了 Why don't you just let that one go to voice mail?
说实话 那只是假笑 That's a fake laugh, by the way.
有泰德·丹森 大酒桶P.I.(美国电视剧)和那个犹太演员 It's got Ted Danson and Magnum P.I. and that jewish actor.
-闭嘴艾伦 那个房间? -825号房 - Shut up, Alan. what room was it again? - It's 825.
我已经问过她了 I already checked with her.
我找到他了 一会回电话 I've found him. I call you back.
谢天谢地 他和他爸爸在一起 Thank god. He's with his father.
把我吓坏了 I was freakin' out.
好想你啊 小宝贝 I miss you, sweety.
亲爱的 我也很想你 Honey, I miss you.
你们到底怎么了 What the hell happened to you guys?
我们正希望你告诉我们呢 Actually, we were hoping you could tell us.
什么意思 我今早醒来 What do you mean? I got up this morning.
给你们去弄咖啡 回来的时候 你们就不见了 I went to get you guys some coffe, and I came back and you were gone.
你现在怎么这么安静了 Why are you being so quiet?
我一直都不安静吗 I'm no being quiet.
他真可爱 He's so cute.
我要喂一下泰勒 你们也进来吧 I gotta feed Tyler. Come inside, you guys.
听见了吗 孩子的名字是泰勒 Did you hear that? The baby's name is Tyler.
我觉得他长得更像卡洛斯 老兄 I thought he looked more like a Carlos too, buddy.
怎么了 你们怎么这么怪 Okay, what's up. you guys are acting weird.
-听着 你是杰德 -你真搞笑 菲尔 - Look, it's Jade, right? - Very funny, Phil.
是的 杰德 Right, Jade. uh.
你还记得我们的朋友 道格 Do you remember our friend, Doug?
开玩笑嘛 他是我们婚礼的伴郎 Are you kidding? He was the best man in our wedding.
对 我们找不见他了 有点担心 Exactly. We can't find him and we got a little worried.
天啊 这真是我们的道格 Oh, my god. That is so Doug.
我要去给他洗洗 没事 爸爸不是故意的 I'm gonna go clean him up. It's alright. Daddy didn't mean it.
老天啊 Oh, my god.
你怎么了 老兄 你得忍着 What the fuck, man? You gotta hold it together.
-该死 -她很性感 你应该为自己骄傲 Holy shit. She is super hot. You should be proud of yourself.
她带着我奶奶的戒指呢 She is wearing my grandmother's ring.
我要给梅丽莎的那个戒指 The ring I'm gonna give to Melissa.
还记得我奶奶带着经历了大屠杀的那个戒指吗 Remember my grandmother's holocaust ring?
她戴着呢 She's wearing it.
我才知道他们在大屠杀的时候还没收戒指 I didn't know they give out rings at the holocaust.
-他没事 -好 - He's okay. - Good.
他只是饿了 没事的 He was just hungry. That's fine.
关于昨晚上 你还记得最后一次见道格 About last night. Do you remember the last time you saw Doug?
婚礼就没有见他了 I haven't seen him since the wedding.
婚礼 好的 The wedding. Okay.
什么时候 What time was that at?
我猜是一点左右 I guess it was around 1.
因为我要回去工作 去轮班 Because I had to go back to work and finish my shift.
当我下了班 我带着Tyler就直奔宾馆 And then when I got out. I headed over to the hotel with Tyler.
道格那时候在吗 And was Doug there then?
我没见道格 因为你们喝的烂醉 I didn't see Doug. Because you guys were passed out.
房间一片混乱 我就靠着斯图蜷着躺下 The room was a wreck. So I was just curled up next to Stu.
我有个疑问 I got a question.
你说你换班结束 你是说你是护士吗 You said when your shift ended. Is that mean you're a nurse?
还是赌场发牌的? Or a blackjack dealer?
你知道的 我是脱衣舞女 You know this. I'm a stripper.
严格上讲我是陪伴 Technically I'm an escort,
不过脱掉衣服可以更好的与客户沟通 But stripping is a great way to meet the clients.
真聪明 Smart.
我知道了 Savvy.
不过那都是过去的事了 我现在嫁给医生了 But that's all in the past now that I'm marrying a doctor.
我只是牙医 I'm just a dentist.
警察 不许动 Police. Freeze!
别让孩子哭了 Shut that baby up.
好的 Okay.
在给他们拍完了脸之后 带他们来这里 So after we take the mugshot, we bring'em on down here...
他们要在这里等着长官问话 Where they wait to be interviewed by the arresting officers.
相信我 孩子们 你们是不愿意坐在这张椅子上的 Trust me, kids. You do not want to be sitting on these benches.
我们称这个地方"傻逼专属地" We call this place Loserville.
跟我走 Follow me.
你好 Hello.
你好崔西 我是菲尔 Hey Tracy, it's Phil.
你好菲尔 你们在哪 Hey, Phil. Where are you guys?
我们在宾馆做SPA We are at the spa, at the hotel.
不错啊 我在日光浴 道格还好吗 Cool. I just get some sun. Is Doug around?
当然在 他为什么不在 Of course he's around. Why wouldn't he be around?
我在想为什么是你给我打电话 I'm just wondering why you're calling me.
我们定了个约定 不能和女朋友或妻子说话 We made a deal, no talking to girlfriends or wife.
只能由我们给你打电话了 We just call each other's.
好啊 怎么了 Okay. What's up?
你不会相信的 我们要在宾馆多住一天 You are not gonna believe this. We got comp an extra night at the hotel.
真的吗 You did?
套房好极了 让我们爽翻了 Yeah. The suite is ridiculous. It's out of control.
客房服务 还有服务员都很棒 It was room service and a butler.
所以我们决定在这住一晚 We had figured to spent the night here and then...
早上我们会放松得好好的回去的 We're just gonna come back totally relax in the morning.
再住一晚上吗? 可是婚礼明天早上就要举行的 You wanna stay an extra night? But the wedding is tomorrow.
所以我们会早起的 That's why we're gonna get up really early and...
有充足的时间回去 We'll be back with plenty of times.
好吧 你们真的要这么决定吗 Okay. Are you sure that's a good idea?
维尼克 普瑞斯和盖尼 来3号房间 Wenneck, Price, Garner. Room 3.
好了崔西 我该挂了 一会再聊 Okay, Trace, I gotta go. Talk to you later.
快点 过来 过来 转过来 Come on. Chop chop. Just spin around.
等一下 我过去 Wait a second. I'll go over.
好了 There we go.
先生们 我们有好消息和坏消息 Gentlemen. We got some good news and some bad news.
好消息是我们找到你们的梅西德斯车了 The good news is, we found your Mercedes.
这是好消息 That's great news.
现在已经没收了 It's over impound right now.
我们今早上5点找到的 We picked it up at 5 a.m this morning.
在拉斯维加斯大街中央停放 Parked in the middle of Las Vegas Blvd.
-很奇怪 -是啊 很奇怪 - It's weird. - Yeah. It is weird.
还有一张纸条 There's also a note.
上面写着 没找到在哪儿交停车费 但这里有4美元 It says, "couldn't find the meter, but here's 4 bucks."
坏消息是 The bad news is...
周一早上我们才能让你见法官 We can't get you in front of the judge until Monday morning.
长官 这样可不行 Officer that's just impossible.
我们明早上要去洛杉矶参加婚礼 We need to be in L.A tomorrow for a wedding.
你偷了一辆警车 You stole a police car.
我们没有偷 我们找到的 We didn't steal anything. We found it.
我们都该发个奖励或奖品什么的 If anything, we deserve a reward or something. Like a trophy?
-我每天都见你们这些混蛋 -每天都糟透了 - I see assholes like you everyday. - Every fuckin' day.
我们去维加斯 我们都喝倒 Let's go to Vegas. We all get drunk and laid.
我们偷个警车 那会很有意思的 Let's steal a cop car, 'cause it'll be really fuckin' funny.
你以为你们会拍拍屁股走人吗 不行! Think you can get away with it? Not up in here!
在这里不行! Not up in here!
长官 Sir...
-恕我直言 那辆车是你们的 -是的 If I may. I'm assuming that squad car belongs to one of you. Yeah.
我不是警察 I'm not a cop.
我不是英雄 I'm no hero.
我是学校老师 I'm a school teacher.
如果我的孩子在野外旅行中丢了 But if one of my kids went missing on a field trip...
我会很难受 That looked really bad on me.
你想说什么 What are you getting at?
是 菲尔 你要说什么 Yeah, Phil. What are you getting at?
没有人想不开心 No one wants to look bad.
我们想去参加婚礼 We gotta get to a wedding.
你们也不想听我们讲这些闹心事儿 And you guys don't need people talking about some obnoxious tourist...
我们昨晚借你们队的车了 Borrowed your squad car last night.
我觉得我们可以做个交易 女士 The point is, I think we can work out a deal. Discretely of course, ma'm.
你们什么意见 What do you say?
我问你个问题 Let me ask you a question.
你们有心脏病或其他的病吗 Do any of you gentlemen have any heart conditon, or anything like that?
没有 No.
好的 孩子们 你们今天可真走运 Okay, kids. You're in for a real treat today.
这些先生们自愿来演示 These gentlemen have kindly volunteered to demonstrate...
眩晕枪是如何制服嫌疑犯的 How a stun gun is used to subdue a suspect.
什么 What?
看着 眩晕枪有两种使用方式 Now, there's two ways to use a stun gun.
近距离射击 Up close and personal.
或者远距离射击 Or you can shoot it from a distance.
有没有自愿的上来射击 Do I have any volunteers who wanna come up here to do some shooting?
你 小姑娘 来这里 How about you, young lady. Come on up here.
过来帅哥 快点 Let's go, handsome. Come on.
不是你 大胖子 靠边站 Not you, fat jesus. Slide it on back.
你 帅哥 You, pretty boy.
非常简单 你要做的就是指向目标 瞄准 射击 It's real simple. All you gotta do is point, aim, and shoot.
你不会想这样做的 You don't really wanna do this.
你可以成功的 集中注意力 You can do this. Just focus.
不要听这个疯子 好好想想 Don't listen to this maniac. Let's think this thing through.
解决他 Finish him!
正中小弟 干得漂亮 Right in the nuts. That was beautiful.
非常好 大家鼓掌 好了 很好 Well done. give her a hand, everybody. Alright. Good job.
做得很好 很棒 非常棒 Good job. Well done. That was great.
我们还有一个目标 Hey, we got one more charge left.
还有谁想来这里射击 Anybody wanna do some shooting up here?
你 小伙子 上来 How about you, big man. Come on up here.
好了 指导一下 指向目标 瞄准 射击 Okay. Same instructions. Just point, aim, and shoot.
好了 就这样 我就喜欢刺激的 There you go. That's the stuff. I like the intensity.
盯着目标 很好 Eye the tiger. Good.
你手持五万伏高压的亮银枪 You're holding 50.000 volts, little man.
你胯着闪电般奔驰的草泥马 Don't be afraid to ride the lightning.
一枪爆头! In the face.
他还能站住 He's still up.
大家不要紧张 放松 Everybody relax. Take it easy.
我们以前也经常见 还需要再多加一点电量 We've seen it before. He just need a little extra charge.
好了 There we go.
体积较大的 我们要打两枪 Somebody's big boys. You gotta give them two shots.
好了孩子们 现在谁想去看看自己的指纹 Alright, kids. Who wants to get their fingerprints done?
快点 走啊 Come on. Let's go.
该死的家伙 Fuck those guys.
你听见我说了吗 Do you hear me?
糟透了 我要告诉每个人我们偷了一辆警车 That was bullshit. I'm telling everybody we stole a cop car.
他放我们走了 那就行了呗 He let us go. Who cares.
我不干 你不能因为好玩就这么干 I care. You can't just do that. You can't just tase people.
就去戏弄别人 Because you think it's funny.
那是警官野蛮的表现 That's police brutality.
-我要去买苏打水 你们要什么吗 -不要 - I'm getting a soda. Do you guys want anything? - no.
这样一个喋喋不休的家伙 我滴神啊 One man doesn't shut up. Jesus Christ.
艾伦 你还好吗 Alan, you okay?
我有点担心 I'm just worried.
如果道格真出什么事 不好的事怎么办 What if something happened to Doug. Something bad.
别这样 不要那样想 Come on, you can't think like that.
如果他死了怎么办 What if he's dead?
我不能再失去身边的任何人了 那太伤心了 I can't afford to lose anybody close to me again. It hurts too much.
我爷爷死的时候 我痛苦极了 I was so upset when my grandpa died.
抱歉 他是怎么死的 I'm sorry. How did he die?
-二战 -死在战场上吗 - World war II. - Die in the battle?
不 他在符蒙特州滑雪死的 当时正是二战的时候 No he was skiing in Vermont. It was just during World War II.
艾伦 道格会没事的 Alan, Doug is fine.
-他怎么不打电话 -不知道 但是我们会弄明白 - Why hasn't he called? - I don't know, but we're gonna figure it out.
还有件事 我一赔六压我们的车被砸烂了 I'll tell you another thing. 6 to 1 odds are our car is beat to shit.
斯图 现在别谈这个 Stu, not now.
真的 你想打赌吗 Seriously, how much do you wanna bet? It's like fucked up.
够了 艾伦现在很焦虑 不要再吓唬他了 That's enough. Alan is seriously worried. Let's not freak him out anymore.
对不起 艾伦 I'm sorry, Alan.
我们会找找车上的线索 一切都会没事的 We'll search the car for clues, and everything's gonna be okay.
该死 我不敢看 Oh, shit. I can't see that.
我不看 I'm not looking.
感谢上帝 Oh, thank god.
一切都会好的 It's gonna be alright.
有什么线索吗 Anything?
找到一根雪茄 I got a cigar.
-我发现一只黑鞋 -女人的吗 -不知道 - I found a black shoes. - A women shoes? - I don't know.
-这是谁的 -不知道 6号男鞋 - Whose are those? -I don't know. It's men size 6.
真奇怪 It's weird.
这是什么蛇皮吗 What is this, a snake skin?
别这样 Oh, come on.
是用过的避孕套 艾伦 That's a used condom, Alan.
扔出去好吗 Get it out of the car.
精液流到我身上了 I got a jizz on me.
扔出去 Get it out.
上帝啊 Oh, my god.
你们怎么了 老兄 我们得齐心协力 What the fuck, man? We gotta get this shit together, guys.
那是什么声音 What was that?
是后备箱 It's in the trunk.
道格在后备箱里 Doug's in the trunk.
该死 Holy shit.
打开 快 Open it. Okay.
别打了 Please stop.
我和你一样 I'm with you.
你要跟我打吗 You gonna fuck on me?
没人要跟你打 Nobody's gonna fuck on you.
我是你那边的 我讨厌哥斯拉 我也恨哥斯拉 We're on your side. I hate Godzilla. I hate him too.
他毁掉城市 He destroys cities.
别打了 Please.
不是你的错 我给你拿条裤子 This isn't your fault. I'll get you some pants.
到底是怎么回事 What the fuck was that?
我内出血了 I have an internal bleeding.
打911 Please call 911.
真他妈的倒霉 他是谁 怎么那么坏 That's some fucked up shit. Who was that guy? he's so mean.
伙计们 我得告诉你们件事 Guys, there's something I need to tell you.
昨晚上在房顶上 我们出去之前 Last night on the roof, before we went out...
我在酒里加东西了 I slipped something in our Yagermeister.
什么? What?
对不起 我晕了 伙计们 I'm sorry. I fuged up, guys.
你给我们下药 You drugged us?
不 没有下药 据说那个能让人很high No, I didn't drug you. I was told it was ecstasy.
谁告诉你很high? Who told you it was ecstasy?
在酒店里买酒的时候那个人告诉我的 The guy I bought it from at the liquor store.
那你为什么要让我们high Why would you give us ecstasy?
因为我想让所有人开心 Because I wanted everybody to have a good time...
我知道你们不会嗑这个的 就每个人只放一份 And I knew you guys wouldn't take it. It was just one hit each.
我以前晚上都磕三份的 I used to do 3 hits at night.
但那一点都不high 艾伦 那是飞魂 But it wasn't ecstasy, Alan. It was roofies.
你以为我知道吗 斯图 You think I knew that, Stu?
我买的时候 那个人看起来说得都是实话 The guy I bought it from seemed like he was a real straight shooter.
这么说是我该说对不起了? 你说那个卖酒的不是好人吗 I'm sorry. You mean the drug dealer at the liquor store wasn't a good guy?
-镇静下来 -你静个屁 - Let's just calm down. - You fuckin' calm down.
他给我们下药 我丢了颗牙 和妓女结婚 He drugged us. I lost a tooth. I married a whore.
你怎么能那么说 她人很好 How dare you. she's a nice lady.
-你真他妈是个傻子 -你的话真难听 - You're such a fuckin' moron. - Your language is offensive.
你这混蛋 Fuck you.
我们深呼吸 静一下心 Let's just take a deep breath.
伙计们这也是件好事 This is a good thing, guys.
至少不是什么别的人 出于别的目的 At least it's not some strangers drugged us
给我们下药 for god knows what reason.
你说得对菲尔 这完全是件好事 You're right, Phil. It's totally a good thing.
我们现在很爽了 We're so much better off now.
我要提醒你们两个 Here's something I would like to remind you two of.
我们最好的朋友道格可能已经被扔到沟里了 Our best friend, Doug, is probably face down in a ditch right now...
而他的脑袋还兴奋的在尸体上晃悠呢 With a meth head, butt-fucking his corpse.
-那不可能 -那是真的 - That's highly unlikely. - It's true.
这没有用 让我们齐心协力 伙计们 This is not help. Let's get our shit together, guys.
一起回宾馆 我要打几个电话 Let's go back to the hotel and I'm gonna make a couple calls...
说不定道格已经回去了 说不定他现在睡觉呢 Maybe doug's back there. maybe he's asleep.
快点 我们走吧 Come on. let's go.
斯图 拉我一把? Stu, little help?
闭嘴 Shut up.
哦 老天 你还好吗? 艾伦 真对不起 Oh, god. are you okay? alan, I'm sorry.
等等 伙计们 Wait, guys.
那头老虎怎么办? 万一它跑出来了? What about the tiger? what if he got out?
我都忘了那头该死的老虎了 I keep forgetting about the god damned tiger.
它是怎么跑进去的? How the fuck did he get in there?
我不知道 因为我不! 记! 得! 了! I don't know. because I don't remember.
斯图 小点声 Stu, keep it down.
飞魂的副作用之一 就是失忆 It's one of the side-effects of roofies, is memory loss.
你真是2到我都懒得骂你 You are literally too stupid to insult.
谢谢 Thank you.
嘿 快来 Hey, come on.
我们走的时候开着音乐吗? Did we leave the music on?
慢点 Don't make any sudden movements.
-你究竟是谁? -你们究竟是谁? - Who the hell are you? - who the hell are you?
安静 Quiet.
麦克·泰森? Mike tyson?
现在放的是我最喜欢的那段 This is my favorite part coming in right now.
今晚我能感觉到它就弥漫在空气中 I can feel it coming in the air tonight.
合唱 伙计们 The chorus line, guys.
哦 上帝 Oh, lord.
我一生都在等待着这一刻 But I've been waiting for this moment for all my life.
再来一次 伙计们 One more time, guys.
哦 上帝 Oh, lord.
你为什么要这么做? Why did you do that?
泰森先生想知道 Mr. tyson would like to know
为什么他的老虎会在你们的浴室里 why is his tiger in your bathroom.
等等 这完全是个误会 Hold on. that was completely unnecessary.
我是你的忠实拳迷 当你打败霍姆斯... I'm a huge fan. when you knocked out holmes...
快说 Explain.
我们昨晚嗑药了 我们什么也不记得了 We were drugged last night. we have no memory of what happened.
是真的 我们昨晚遇到了各种各样的麻烦 It's true. we got into all kinds of trouble last night.
我们现在找不到我们的朋友了 And now we can't find our friend.
如果你想杀了我们 悉听尊便 And if you wanna kill us, just go ahead,
因为我已经不在乎了 Because I don't even care anymore.
-斯图 你在胡说什么? -我不在乎 - Stu, what are you talking about? -I don't care.
你们究竟为什么要偷他的老虎? Why the fuck do you want to steal his tiger?
我们喝醉的时候都会做傻事 We tend to do dumb shit when we're fucked up.
我不相信你们 I don't believe you guys.
等等 你们是怎么找到我们的? Wait, how did you guys find us?
你们中的一个掉了外套 One of you dropped your jacket
被我们今天早上在虎笼里找到了 found it in the tiger's cage this morning.
那是道格的 That's doug's.
对 道格 里面有他的钱包和房卡 Yeah, doug. his wallet and his room keys in there.
-他就是我们失踪的朋友 -我管那些呢 - That's our missing friend. - I don't give a fuck.
你们看见他了吗? Did you guys see him?
我睡得正香 I was vast asleep.
因为如果他醒着 老虎现在就没这么老实了 Because if he was up, this shit wouldn't had gone down so smoothly.
说不定老虎会象吃掉欧玛那样吃掉他们 Maybe the tiger would ate them up like omar.
默哀 Respect.
欧玛怎么了? What happened to omar?
别管欧玛了 他已经不在了 Don't worry about omar. he's not with us no more.
我知道这有点过分 I know this is asking a lot,
可是我们可不可以去... But do you think there's anyway that we could go...
你家 找找有没有关于我们朋友的线索 To your house and look around to see if there's any clues for our friend?
当然 不然你们准备怎么把老虎送回去? Absolutely. how else do you think we're gonna get the tiger back anyway?
走吧 拳王 Come on, champ.
什么? I'm sorry?
我们可不会把它放在宾利车里 We're not gonna put it in the bentley.
你们把它带来的 你们把它送回去 You brought it here, you bring it back.
意下如何? 40分钟够了吧? What do you think? about 40 minutes?
可别让我为它再来一次 Don't make me come back for him.
-那是麦克·泰森 -如假包换的麦克·泰森 - That was mike tyson. -no shit that was mike tyson.
我说吧 他还能很能打 I'm just saying, he's still got it.
你没事吧? Are you okay?
他打他哪里了? Where did he get him?
这不公平 This does not seem fair.
我们用的是石头 剪刀 布 It's rock, paper, scissors.
没有比这更公平的了 there's nothing more fair.
应该轮到艾伦 Alan should do it.
艾伦刚挨了麦克·泰森一拳 快点 为了道格 Alan took a punch from mike tyson, come on. for doug.
你干嘛在牛排上撒胡椒? Why are you peppering the steak.
你又不知道老虎喜不喜欢胡椒 you don't know if tigers like pepper.
老虎喜欢胡椒 他们不喜欢肉桂 Tigers love pepper. they hate cinnamon.
菲尔 快 该你上了 Phil, just do it. you should do it.
我会去 可是你输了 这可不对 I would, but you lost. it wouldn't be right.
我塞了5片飞魂在里面 只要跑进去丢给它 I jammed 5 roofies in there. just go in there and throw it to him.
好吧 Fine.
确保它把整块肉都吃了 Make sure he eats the whole thing.
嘿 小猫咪 Hey, kitty.
嘿 宝贝 没事 这是给你的零食 Hey, sweety. it's okay. a little snack for you.
把这个吃了 好吗? We want you to eat this, okay?
只要吃一点... Just have a little...
我们现在怎么办? What do we do now?
等着 We wait.
当老虎打虎盹时它们会梦见什么 What do tigers dream off when they take a little tiger snooze.
他们会梦见大嚼斑马 还是穿着猫女装的哈里·贝瑞 Do they dream of mauling zebras or halle berry in her catwoman suite.
你别担心 Don't you worry,
你那可爱的斑纹脑袋 我们会把你送回到泰森那... You pretty stripped-head we're gonna get you back to tyson...
还有你那舒适的虎窝 And your cozy tiger bed.
我们会找到我们的好朋友道格... And then we're gonna find our best friend doug...
我们会给他一个好朋友的拥抱 And then we're gonna give him a best friend hug.
道格 道格 哦.. 道格 道奇-道格 道格. Doug, doug, oh.. doug, dougie-doug, doug.
但要是他被吸毒者杀了... But if he's been murdered by crystal meth tweakers...
我们就霉运临头了... Well then we're shit out of luck.
总有一天我们都会死的 By the end we're all gonna die.
小心 Watch it.
碰它鼻子了 That's his nose.
伙计们 下一次哈雷彗星来访是什么时候? Hey guys, when's the next haley's comet?
-谁管它 伙计 -你知道吗 斯图 - Who cares, man. - do you know, stu?
我想不需要再等60几年 I don't think it's for another 60 years or something.
-不是今晚 对吗? -不是 我想不是 - It's not tonight, right? - no. I don't think so.
可是你确定吗? But you don't know for sure?
确定 No.
我有一个外甥 马克思 他见过一次 说是十分震撼 I got this cousin, marcus who saw one he said it blew his mind.
我可不想错过哈雷彗星 I wanna make sure I'll never ever miss out on hailie's comet.
所以如果你们要是知道什么时候有... So if you guys now there's gonna be one...
下车 Get out.
哦 天哪 Oh, my god.
斯图 它抓到我了 Stu, he got me.
-你被抓了 -我在流血 - You got clawed. - I'm bleeding.
-我做不到 -把你的手放回去 - I can't do it. - get your fuckin' hand back in there.
你得控制车的方向 You're steering the car.
我太紧张了 I'm too nervous.
艾伦 我们需要你 是你发光发热的时候了 明白吗? Alan, we need you, buddy. it's your time to shine, okay?
我爸爸会杀了我的 My dad's gonna kill me.
-就这样 -很好 - That's it. -that's good.
把车头摆正 Keep it straight.
你们迟到了 You're late.
随便你怎么说了 伙计 Whatever, man.
我们不得不推着车走完最后一里路 we had to push at the last mile.
进来吧 麦克有东西要给你们看 Come on in. mike's got something he wants to show you.
事态有些失控 伙计 你负责把它弄下来 Things got out of control, man. you gotta put it down.
我们回家后 查看了监控录像 When we got back, we took a look at the security cameras.
太好了 Great.
-哦 是道格 -谢天谢地 Oh, it's doug. thank god he's alive.
那是我们的朋友 我们在找的那个 That's our buddy. that's who we've been missing.
我们都是好朋友 We're all best friends.
你们干嘛不认真点看 Why don't you just pay attention.
我可没空整晚陪着你们 I don't have all night.
是 当然 Yeah, of course.
那是我 我上电视了 That's me. I'm on tv.
我从来没上过电视 I've never been on tv before.
这是真的吗? 这是真的吗 艾伦? Really? really, alan?
游泳池都被你灌满了 伙计 You're gonna overflow the pool, man.
不如 我到外面等着? Maybe, i... should I wait outside?
这个主意不错 I think that's a good idea.
不许碰外面的任何东西 Don't touch anything out there either.
他不是我们的好... 我跟他不熟 He's not our good... we don't know him that well.
顺便问一下 伙计 你们从哪里弄来的警车? By the way, man, where did you get that cop car from?
我们从傻逼条子那里偷来的 We stole it from this dumbass cops.
干得漂亮 Nice.
击掌! High five there.
我不得不说 I have to say
那是我见过的最漂亮 最优雅 最华丽的生物了 I've never seen a more beautiful, elegant, regal creature.
看啊 斯图 干这老虎 Check it out, stu. fuck this tiger.
哦 老天 太囧了 Oh, my god. it's awful.
谁会干这种事儿 伙计? Who does shit like that, man?
有些人明显很傻逼 Someone who has a lot of issues obviously.
比如我 I'm a sick man.
我们有的就这些 That's all we got.
这真是太有用了 This was, hugely helpful.
因为现在我们知道 Because now we know that
我们的朋友道格3:30时还活着 our buddy doug was with us at 3.30 totally alive.
再次感谢你 拳王 Thanks again, champ.
我们十分抱歉我们偷了你的老虎 We're so sorry we stole your tiger.
别再提了 Don't worry about it.
正如你所说 我们喝醉时都会做傻事 Like you said, we all do dumb shit when we're fucked up.
我的确说过 I did say that.
所有人都说麦克·泰森是个坏蛋 Everyone says mike tyson is a badass,
但我觉得他挺讨人喜欢的 But I think he's kind of a sweetheart.
我觉得他不错 I think he's mean.
我认为现在是给崔西打电话的时候了 I think it's officially time we call tracy.
老天保佑 菲尔总算说了些靠谱的话 Hallelujah. finally. phil says something that make sense.
我们别无选择 说不定她已经接到道格的电话了 We don't have much of a choice. and who knows maybe she's heard from doug.
我不是一直都这么说的 That's what I've been saying this whole time.
我们只需要坦诚的 把所有事都告诉她 We just need to be completely honest and tell her everything.
我们没必把所有事都告诉她 We don't need to tell her everything.
我们可以省略我和妓女结婚那段 We can leave out the stuff about me marrying a hooker.
只关注道格 Just stay focus on doug.
我该怎么跟我爸爸说这辆车? What am I gonna tell my dad about this car?
艾伦 别紧张 只是里面坏了而已 Alan, relax. it's just the inside.
我在洛杉矶认识一个人 他对车内装修很在行 I got a guy in l.a who's great with interior.
-哦 天哪 -哦 老天 - Oh, jesus. - oh, my god.
你们没事吧? Are you guys okay?
我认识那个人 后车厢里的那个 I know that guy. that's the guy from the trunk.
请 下 车 Get out of the car, please.
那个开枪打了艾迪的人 Those are the guys that shot eddie.
我想拿回我的钱包 混蛋们 I want my purse back, assholes.
-你的钱包? -那不是钱包 那是单肩包 - Your purse? that's not a purse, it's a satchel.
那是个钱包 好不好? It's a purse, okay?
你们偷错人了 And you steal from wrong guy.
等等 我们偷你? Wait a second. we stole from you?
我们完全不记得昨晚发生的事情了 We don't remember anything that happened last night.
请帮我们回忆一下 So help us out a little here.
显然 你们是昨晚在牌桌上遇见的 Apparently, you guys met at the craps table late last night.
你玩牌时手气真旺 You're on your real heater when you played your hot streak.
最后赢了将近8万块 You ended up winning just under 80 grand.
什么 8万块 不赖啊 No shit. 80 grand. nice.
那很好 That's good.
你们把筹码放进他的钱包 然后逃跑了 You put the chips in his purse, and then you guys took off with it.
这听起来不太象我们 That doesn't sound like us.
我的钱包里有8万块钱 Mine had 80 thousand dollars inside.
这个呢? 什么也没有 And this one? nothing.
嘿 里面有彩虹糖! Hey, there's skittles in there.
别跟这个大胡子闹了 他很幼稚的 Don't let the beard fool you. he's a child.
他很好笑因为他很胖 He's funny because he's fat.
这是个百分百的误会 This was obviously a very simple misunderstanding.
艾伦拿错了包 没什么大不了的 Alan picked up the wrong purse, it's no big deal.
如果没什么大不了 我为什么会跟着你们 If it's no big deal, why when I come after you guys...
他象发疯一样的尖叫 把我扔进了后车厢 He starts screaming like crazy, and throw me in trunk.
我这么做了? I did that?
你说我是你的幸运星 你想把我带回家 You said he was your lucky charm. and you wanna take him home with you.
-幸运星 -太搞笑了 - Lucky charm. - that's just funny.
去你的 Fuck you.
如果你们想再见到你们的朋友 还我的8万块 If you want to see your friend again, you get me my 80 grand.
-什么? -我们的朋友? - What? - our friend?
你抓了道格? You have doug?
道格 Doug.
放轻松 小胡子 Chill out, goatie.
好吧 Alright. fine.
你想怎么样? What do you want?
不怎么样 Not so good now.
小样 Douchebag.
我们十分抱歉 可是这事很好解决 We're very sorry, but this is an easy fix.
艾伦 他的钱包在哪里? Alan, where's his purse?
-我不知道 -你说它在酒店房间里 对吗? - I don't know. - you said it was in hotel room, right?
我们可以去拿 We can get it.
我们可以拿来给你 We can get you.
我们甚至可以现在就写张支票给你 we can even write you check right now.
没门 只收现金 No chances. cash only.
事关人命 There's a person in there.
无趣 Boring.
睡觉去了 走吧 Take nap. come on.
你不能带走我们的朋友 你个土匪! You can't have our friend. kindapper!
来撞我啊 Run me over.
天亮时把钱带去马佳维沙漠的巨石边 Bring money to big rock in mojave desert at dawn.
再见了您内 小样 Tooddle-loo, mothafucka.
至少把他头上的袋子拿下来 At least take the bag off his head.
走开 Get out of here.
伙计们 我跟你们说我早上走的时候就找过 Guys, I'm telling you I looked for it this morning before we left.
哪儿也没有 It's not anywhere.
斯图 你银行里还有多少钱 Stu, how much you got in the bank?
大概1万块 或许更多 我准备用来结婚的 About 10 grand, maybe more. I was gonna use it for the wedding.
你已经结婚了 所以我们有救了 You're already married. so we're good there.
何况不是和梅丽莎 没人比她更差劲的了 Besides not for melissa. she's the worst.
道格告诉我她和一个飞行员还是什么的做爱 Doug told me she had sex with a pilot or something like that.
是游轮上的酒保 你们怎么了 伙计 It was a bartender on a cruise. what is wrong with you, people.
艾伦 你在吃掉在沙发里的比萨吗? Alan, did you just eat sofa pizza?
是的 Yeah.
我们该怎么办 我们太失败了 What are we gonna do. we're so fucked.
嘿 兄弟们 Hey, guys...
-你找到了吗? -没 - Do you find it? - no.
但是 看这 But check this out.
全部换成筹码 一万块 Change only. ten thousand
嗨 这里有人吗? Hey, this seats taken?
没有 随便坐 No, feel free.
来玩21点 Let's play some blackjack.
这就对了 That's it.
闭嘴 文森特 Shut up, vincent.
我不跟 I'll stay.
靠 Fuck you.
一分五 分牌 Splitting 5.
太多了 Too many.
我不认识你 但是我要跟你说 太蠢了 I don't even know you. but I'm gonna tell you, that's dumb.
嗨 来吧 他不会输的 Hey, c'mon. he can't lose.
我觉得赌场领班正在监视他 I think the pit boss is watching him.
你没事吧? Are you okay?
我真是笨手笨脚 我一赌就紧张 我太笨了 I'm such a klutz. I get so nervous when I gamble. I'm so silly.
悠着点 Hold on a bit.
轻点你 这是我老婆 Let's just take it easy. this is my wife.
-好疼 -疼吗 -恩 - It's hurting. - does it hurt? - yeah.
-你还好吧? -我不知道 -我也不知道 You alright? I don't know. I don't know either.
-你没事 我们走吧 -真的? 好 - I think you're fine. let's go. - really? okay.
抱歉 她喝多了 Sorry. she's had a little too much drink.
谢谢 伙计 这是给你的 Thanks, buddy. that's for you.
100 200 300 400 And 100, 200, 300, 400.
所有这些 一共是82,400美金 With all this, that's $82,400.
太好了 我真他妈不敢相信 God damn it. I don't fucking believe it.
-艾伦 你是个人物 -你也是 菲尔 - Alan, you're the man. - you are too, phil.
我们下个礼拜应该再来 横扫赌城 We should come back next week. take the whole city down.
我下星期有空 I'm free next week.
或许我们现在应该先集中精力把道格找回来 Or we could just focus on getting doug back right now.
我下个星期不行 杰纳斯兄弟来城里 Next week is no good for me. the jonas brothers are in town.
以后哪天都行 But any week after that, it's totally fine.
我们时来运转了! I think it's safe to say that our luck has officially turned around, guys.
我们回来了 宝贝 We are back, baby.
我们他妈的回来了 We are fuckin' back.
我们回来了 牛逼 We are back. classic.
我们回来了 We are back.
我们去带道格回来 We are getting doug back.
我们三个是世人梦寐以求的挚友 And we're the three best friends that anybody could have.
我们三个是世人梦寐以求的挚友 We're the three best friends that anyone can have.
我们永远 永远 永远 永远 永远不分开 And we'll never, ever, ever, ever, ever, leave each other.
我们三个是世人梦寐以求的挚友 We're the best three friend that anybody could have.
我是说三个世人梦寐以求的挚友 I mean the three best friend that anybody can have.
现在怎么办? Now what?
给他发信号 Give him the signal.
什么信号 What signal.
闪一下车灯 让他知道开始了 Flash your lights. let him know it's on.
什么开始了? What's on?
交易 The deal.
当然开始了 我们开了30里路到这沙漠 Of course it's on. we just drove 30 miles into the desert.
他知道交易开始了 He knows it's on.
菲尔 你就做点什么吧 Phil, just do something.
好吧 Fine.
看见了吗? See?
好吧 我们走 Alright. let's go.
太搞笑了 那个胖子摔了个狗啃泥 Funny. the fat guy fall on face.
你没事吧? You okay?
没事 我们把钱带来了 8万块 现金 Alright. we got the money. 80 grand. cash.
把钱扔过来 我就把道格还给你们 Throw it over. then I give you doug.
不好意思 首先 早上好 I'm sorry. First of all, good morning.
昨晚忘了请问您尊姓大名 We didn't catch your name last night.
我姓周 周莱雷 Mr. Chow.Leslie chow.
周先生 幸会幸会 我叫斯图 Mr. Chow. It is a pleasure. My name's stu.
如果在付款之前 我们能有幸见到道格 We would very much appreciate an opportunity to see Doug...
能够确信他安然无恙 我们将感激不尽 Before we give you the money just to verify that he's okay.
如果可以的话 If that's cool.
当然可以 斯图 没问题 Of course, stu. that is cool.
行吧 Okay.
看见了? 他很好 See? He fine.
现在把钱给我 不然我一枪毙了他 Now give me money or I shoot him...
然后再把你们这些鸟人通通毙了 And I shoot all you motherfuckers.
然后我们再拿钱走人 你们自己选吧 贱人 And then we take it. your choice, bitches.
-把钱给他 斯图 -好 Give him the money, stu. -Okay.
-全在这儿 -放人 It's all there. -Let him go.
好的 放松点 Alright, take it easy.
你玩我啊 这人是谁啊 Is this some kind of a joke? Who the hell is this?
这不是道格 That is not Doug.
威廉斯 你说什么啊 就是他啊 What are you talking about, willies? that him.
周先生 不好意思 这不是我们朋友 No.I'm sorry,Mr.Chow.That's not our friend.
我们找的那个道格是个白人 The doug we're looking for is a white.
我都跟你说你抓错人了 兔崽子 I told you you had the wrong guy,little boy.
见鬼 艾伦 你把我搅进了什么鸟事里啊 Damn, Alan. what the fuck you got me into?
你认识他 You know him?
是啊 这是卖给我那些嗨药的人 Yeah. This is the guy that sell me the bad drugs.
你还好吧? How you doin'?
我他妈没有卖给你什么嗨药 I ain't sellin' you no fuckin' bad drugs.
等等 是他把飞魂卖给你的? Wait.He sold you the roofilin?
飞魂? 我不卖飞魂 Roofilin? I sell no roofilin.
管他呢 道格在哪儿 Who gives a shit! where is doug?
我就是道格 I am Doug.
-你叫道格? -是啊 我叫道格 Your name's doug? -Yes,I'm doug.
他也叫道格 这真他妈的太经典了(囧...) His name's doug too. Classic mixed up.
走啦 Come on.
姓周的 你给我们的是假道格 Hey,Chow!You gave us the wrong doug.
不关我事 Not my problem.
我操 你把八万美金还来 把人带走 Fuck that shit.Now you give us our 80 grand back and take him with you.
不 别这样嘛兄弟 我就当你们的道格 No.Come on, man. I'll be your Doug.
行啊 没问题 我会把他带走 Oh,yeah. okay. I take him back.
但你们要吸我的中式小鸡鸡 Right after you suck on this little Chinese nuts.
噢 你真下流 Oh, that's nasty.
这建议如何 How that sound?
基佬们 再见啦 So long, gay boys.
等一下 Wait a second.
他真是个淫贱的小王八蛋 He's a nasty little motherfucker.
-你是偶而才卖摇头丸? -我他妈没卖摇头丸 -Did you happen to get any ecstasy? -No, I have no fuckin' ecstasy.
天啊 该死! God, damn it!
神啊 倒霉! Gosh, darn it!
靠! Shit!
妈的! Shoot!
喂 Hello.
崔西 我是菲尔 Tracy, it's Phil.
菲尔 你们到底在哪 我要抓狂了 Phil, where the hell are you guys. I'm freaking out.
谢谢你们把我载回镇里 Thanks for the lift back to town.
-我想问你个问题 -什么 -I got a question for you. -What's that?
你怎么进那个姓周的车里的? How did you wind up in chow's car?
那个发疯的混蛋昨天绑架了我 That crazy asshole kidnapped me yesterday.
为什么呢 我是说 为什么是你呢 But why? I mean, why you?
因为他以为我是和你们一起的 Cuz he thought I was with you guys,
因为我们昨晚都在百乐宫玩 Cuz we all hanging over at the Bellagio.
什么 What?
我们在百乐宫? We were at the Bellagio?
是啊 我们在那儿玩色子了 不记得了? Yeah. we were shooting craps. you don't remember?
不记得 因为有个鸡巴毒贩子 No. We don't remember. Because some dick drug dealer...
卖飞魂给他还骗他说是摇头丸 Sold him roofilin and told him it was ecstasy.
飞魂 你刚刚说的那个词 飞魂 Roofilin. There you go with that word, roofilin.
飞魂到底是什么 What the hell is a roofilin?
噢 你是全世界最"牛B"的毒贩子 Wow. you are the world's shittiest drug dealer.
魂飞 仅供你参考 就是约会强奸药 Roofilin, for your information, is the date rape drug.
你把魂飞卖给了艾伦 You sold Alan roofies.
靠 一定是我不小心搞混了 我错 Oh, shit. I must've mixed up the bag. My fault, Alan.
见鬼 马萨一定会因此对我发飙 Damn, Marsha's gonna be pissed off with me on that one.
管他的 Whatever.
这真搞笑 就在前几天我和我兄弟 It's funny cuz just the other day, me and my boy...
还在纳闷为什么你们都叫它飞魂(roof有棚顶的意思) We was wondering why do you even call'em roofies.
你们知道我在说什么吧 You know what I'm talking about?
我不知道你在说什么 No. I don't know what you're talking about.
为什么不叫Floories(floor有地板的意思)呢 Why not Floories, right?
因为当你吃了以后 Cuz when you take'em...
你更想在地板上而不是屋顶上去做事 You more likely to end up on the floor than the roof.
Groundies(ground有底层的意思)呢 也是个好名字 What about Groundies. That's a good new name for'em.
那Rapies(rape有强奸的意思)怎么样 Or how about rapies?
等等 你刚刚说什么 Wait, what did you just say?
Rapies Rapies.
没说你 道格 你刚才说什么了 Not you. Doug, what did you say before?
我说Groundies I said Groundies.
不是 再前面 你说... No. before that. You said...
你更想在地板上而不是... You're more likely to wind up on the floor than...
听着 崔西 我真的很抱歉 Listen,Trace, I'm really sorry...
喂 Hello?
崔西 我是斯图 Tracy, it's Stu.
斯图 快跟我说 出什么事了 Stu, talk to me. what's going on?
没事 别听菲尔的 他彻底神经了 Nothing. Don't listen to Phil. He's completely out of his mind.
可能是昨晚的烂醉还没让他酒醒 He's probably still drunk from last night.
道格在哪儿 Where's Doug?
他在结账呢 He is paying the bill.
我们刚吃完一顿美味的早午餐 We just had a delicious brunch and...
我们现在正急着回去 所以我们要走了 We're in a big hurry to get back so we gotta get going.
一会儿见 拜 Okay, we'll see you soon. Bye.
操 你干嘛呢 What the fuck, man?
我知道道格在哪儿 I know where Doug is.
我不知道 你吓着我了 I don't know, man. it just hit me.
还记得我们看到道格的床垫钉在雕像上吗 Do you remember when we saw doug's mattress impaled on that statue?
嗯 那是因为我们把它从窗户扔出去了 Yeah, it's because we threw it out the window.
这不可能 你在维加斯酒店打不开窗户 No it's impossible. you can't open window in vegas hotel.
那它怎么... Then how did it get...
天啊 Oh, my god!
等等 怎么回事 Wait, what's goin on?
是道格在向我们发出信号 Doug was trying to signal someone.
我靠 你怎么想到的? Holy shit. How did you figure that out?
道格让我想到的 Doug made me realize it.
道格? Doug?
不是我们的道格 是黑人道格 Not our doug. Black Doug.
喂 这问题上别这么斤斤计较好吗 Hey, easy with that shit. c'mon.
不好意思 Sorry.
有谁可以告诉我白人道格在哪儿吗 Can someone tell me where white doug is?
他在屋顶 艾伦 He's on the roof, Alan.
正确 他在屋顶 Yes. He is on the roof.
一定是我们把他放在床垫上抬上去了 We must have taken him up there on his mattress...
我们恶搞他 让他在屋顶醒来 As a prank so he'll wake up on the roof.
就像当年在夏令营那样 还记得我们 It's like that time in summer camp. Remember when we moved...
把他的睡袋搬到了湖边的防波题上 His sleeping bag out in the jetty in the lake?
真是太好笑了 Which was hillarious.
不过这次没那么好笑了 It's not so funny now though
因为我们忘了把他放在哪儿了 Though cuz we forgot where we put him.
你们还真是他妈的反应迟钝 知道不? You guys are fuckin' retarded. you know that?
我靠 你觉得他还在上面? Holy shit. You think he's still up there?
想要确认 方法只有一个 There's only one way to find out.
道格 Doug.
道格 朋友 你在吗 Doug, you up here, buddy?
道格 你在哪儿 Where you at, Doug?
伙计们 他在这儿 Hey, guys, he's over here.
菲尔 找到他了 他在这儿 Phil, we've found him. he's over here.
他没事 He's okay.
你没事吧 You're okay?
天啊 朋友 我们该走了 起来 Oh, god. we gotta go, buddy. come on.
我们到处找你 We've been looking everywhere for you.
到底他妈的怎么回事 What the fuck is going on?
我们可以解释全部事情 但是现在该走了 We can explain everything, but right now we gotta go.
老兄 你还好吧 Hey, bud. you okay?
不好 No. Not okay.
你看上去气色不错啊 You look good.
"红光满面" 我羡慕啊 You got some color. I'm jealous.
我今天要结婚 I'm getting married today.
对 道格 所以现在你要 Yes. Doug, that's why you need to
集中精神 照着我们说的做 focus and do everything we say.
因为你现在在浪费时间 Because frankly you're wasting a little bit of time right now.
混蛋! You fucking asshole!
噢 我的皮肤烧着疼 Oh, my skin burns.
没事 这不是你的错 道格 It's okay. it's not your fault, Doug.
不要碰我 闭嘴 你们通通闭嘴 Don't touch me. shut up. all of you shut up.
带我回家 Just get me home.
再之后那班呢? What about the one after that?
你开玩笑的吧 You cannot be serious.
该死的 所有去洛杉矶的航班都订满了 Oh, god damn it. Every flight to L.A. is booked.
-伯班克的呢? -已经全部售完了 -What about in the Burbank? -I's already sold out.
操 我们不能开车回去 Fuck. We can't drive there.
还有三个半小时婚礼就要开始了 The wedding starts in 3.5 hours.
艾伦 车在哪儿 Alan, where's the car?
在路上了 It's on its way.
你猜怎么着 我们开车回去 我们行的 You know what? we can drive there. we can make it. okay?
等我一下 Just give me one second.
我们丢下你算啦 We will leave without you.
-他是掉了一颗牙吗 -没错 -Is he missing a tooth? -Yeah.
-谢谢你昨晚的帮忙 太棒了 -是 -Thanks for helping out last night.That was so awesome. -Sure.
听我说 杰德 Listen, Jade...
你不用说了 我都懂 You don't have to say it. I totally understand.
整件事情都很愚蠢 This whole thing was stupid.
的确很愚蠢 It was stupid, wasn't it?
这是你的 This is yours.
谢谢 真不敢相信我竟然把外婆经历大屠杀时 Thank you. I can't believe I gave my grandmother's holocaust ring...
戴的的戒指给了一个刚刚认识的人 To someone I just met.
我在想什么呢 What was I thinking?
-你当时真的很不正常 -显然 -You were really fucked up. -Clearly.
你真的把自己的牙齿拔出来了 You did pull out your own tooth.
我把我的牙齿拔出来了? I pulled out my tooth?
我干嘛要拔我自己的牙齿啊? Why did I pull out my own tooth?
艾伦和你打赌说你不是一个好牙医 Alan bet you you weren't a good enough dentist
不能为自己拔牙 to pull out your own tooth.
他当然这么说 Okay. Of course he did.
但是你赢啦 But you won.
是啊 显然 Yeah. clearly.
这是胜利的象征 这儿 That's victory, right there.
把这个放下去 This should go down.
-这样挺好 -不行 安全第一 -It's good. -No. Safety first.
艾伦 没事 放下去了 Alan, it's fine. it's down.
不行 我要先把它放下去 No. I gotta get it down first.
别把车搞坏了 Don't mess the car up.
你这样会把车搞坏的 You're gonna mess the car up.
下礼拜周末有什么计划 What are you doing next weekend?
不知道 工作吧 怎么? I don't know. Working. why?
我在想我是不是可以回来 Cuz I was thinking maybe I'll come back
然后我们一起去吃个饭什么的 to get us to dinner or something.
真的? 就像约会? Really? like a date?
是啊 就像约会 就是希望我能记得 Yeah, like a date. Only the one that i, hopefully I remember.
听起来不错 Sounds good.
-斯图 -斯图 -Stu. -Stu.
-走啦 -走啦 -C'mon. -C'mon.
我该走了 I gotta go.
好吧 拜 Okay. bye.
-拜 -拜 -Bye. -Bye.
好 出发 Alright, let's go.
至少这次旅行没有彻底失败 At least the trip wasn't a total disaster.
你怎么这么说 What makes you say that?
当我在屋顶上醒来时 我发现 When I woke up on the roof, I happened to find...
我的口袋里有价值8万美金的百乐宫币 $80,000 worth of bellagio chips in my pocket.
天啊 Oh, my god.
看起来我们能带些钱回家啦 兄弟们 Looks like we're going home with some money, boys.
他来了 是他 Here he comes. That's him.
-嘿 维克多 -出什么事了 -Hey, victor. -What's up, alan?
-噢 小心 -靠 -Wow, look out! -Oh, shit.
-维克 谢了 -一路平安 -Thanks, Vic. -Adios.
-那家伙是谁啊 -我朋友 -Who the hell was that guy? -That's my buddy.
抱歉 我们刚结束一次超级疯狂的旅行 Sorry, it took us on a really crazy route.
-我发型怎么样 -挺好的 -How's my hair? -It's good.
和菲尔的看起来一样有型? Is it cool like Phil's?
古典版菲尔 It's classic Phil.
她真美 She looks beautiful, man.
抱歉我迟到了 Sorry I'm late.
维加斯 Vegas.
你去哪儿了? 而且为什么你这么红? Where were you? and why are you so red?
亲爱的 说来话长 Honey, it's a long story.
我们今天聚集在此 是因为 We are gathered here today because of
爱情的力量和彼此间的承诺 The strength of love and the promises...
我只知道 我真的很抱歉 All I know is, I am so sorry.
我答应你 结婚以后 And I promise for as long as we're married...
我永远永远不会再让你再经历这种事情 I'll never, ever put you through anything like this again.
你可以原谅我吗 Can you forgive me?
你充满魅力 Yeah. uh-huh. so seductive.
我带你去糖果店 我让你舔棒棒糖 I take you to the candy shop. I let you lick the lollipop.
继续 美女 不要停 Go ahead, girl don't you stop.
在你吃到满意之前 不要停 Keep on going until you hit the spot.
你可以自己 随心所欲 You can have it your way.
你想怎样 是想让它倒退还是让我推进 How do you want it? gonna back that thing up or should I push up on it?
宝贝 为你心碎其实很容易 Break it down for you now baby it's simple.
你是小花痴 我是小花痴 You be a nympho, I be a nympho.
我要拿到魔法棒 我要做爱情医生 I got the magic stick. I'm the love doctor.
-爸爸 -嘿 儿子 -Daddy! -Hey, my man.
对不起 我每时每刻都在挂念着我的老公 Excuse me. but I'm expecting my husband any minute.
有意思 It's very funny.
过来 足球比赛怎样了 Come here. How was your soccer game?
继续 美女 不要停 Go ahead girl don't you stop.
在你吃到满意之前 不要停 Keep on going until you hit the spot.
给我给我 宝贝 美妙些 慢一些 Fuckin' give it to me baby nice and slow.
就像你在竞技场 攀上顶端去骑上 Climb on top ride it like you in a rodeo.
斯图 你在躲着我吧 Stu? you're avoiding me?
嘿 梅丽莎 Hey, Melissa.
天啊 你的牙怎么了 Oh, my god. what happened to your tooth?
你见过艾伦了吗? 崔西的哥哥 Have you met Alan? Tracy's brother.
很好 Okay.
真恶心 你为什么不复我电话 That is disgusting. Why haven't you returned my calls?
当时乱得一团糟 当时我们被困在... There was a snafu with it when we stopped...
我打电话到那帕查询你们的床铺和早餐 I called that bed and breakfast in Napa...
他们说根本没有你们入住的记录 They said they had no record of you even checking in.
因为我们根本就没有去那帕 That's because we didn't go to Napa.
斯图 到底怎么回事 Stu, what the fuck is going on?
-我们去了拉斯维加斯 -哦 真的? 拉斯维加斯? -We went to las vegas. -Oh, really? Las vegas?
为什么你们会去拉斯维加斯 Why would you go to las vegas?
因为我最好的朋友要结婚了 Because my best friend was getting married
是男人就都这么做 and that's what guys do.
真的? 你真就这么做了! Really? but that's now what you do!
然后就问为什么我要这么做? Then why did I do it, huh?
因为我就是这么做了 我也不知道! Cuz I did it. riddle me that!
为什么我这么做? Why did I do it?
有时候我觉得我做什么 Sometimes I think all you want me to do
都得听你的 is what you want me to do.
整天都得听你的话做事 那让我很讨厌 I'm sick of doing what you want me to do all the time.
我觉得在一种健康的关系里 男人 I think in a healthy relationship sometimes a guy...
应该有能力做他想做的事情 Should be able to do what he wants to do.
看看你干的这一切! That is now how this works!
很好 因为无论如何 Oh, good! because whatever this is,
这一切都不是因为我才这样 ain't workin' for me.
-真的? -没错 -Oh, really? -Yeah.
你从什么时候开始这样的? Since when?
从去年6月在你出游时操了那服务生开始 Since you fucked that waiter on your cruise last june.
砰! Boom!
你跟我说是酒保来着 You told me it was a bartender.
噢 对 我更正一下 是酒保 Oh, you were right. I stand corrected. it was a bartender.
你操了一个酒保 You fucked a bartender.
你就是个傻逼 You're an idiot.
你是个...你... You're a... you...
你是个大坏蛋 You're such a bad person.
一直坏到你内心最深处的坏蛋 Like, all the way through to your core.
艾伦 去跳舞吗 Alan, shall we dance?
跳舞吧 Let's do this.
嘿 我要永远离开你 Hey! I'm gonna leave forever.
我要学会 如何高飞 I'm gonna learn how to fly high.
能够认识您真是我无限的荣幸 It was a real pleasure meeting you.
滚 Fuck off.
我在考虑要不要也考个的酒保执照 I'm thinking about getting my bartender's license.
草泥马啊 Suck my dick.
不用了 谢谢 No, thank you.
记得记得记得记得我的名字 宝贝 Remember, remember, remember, remember my name, babe!
道奇 我跟你说 这场婚礼太华丽了 Dougie, I gotta tell you, man. that was a gorgeous wedding.
半年之内都会让我难以忘怀 I'll give it 6 months.
你是个大丈夫 You're a dick.
我不知该说些什么 I don't know what to say.
我想是 那个单身汉之旅 谢了 thanks, for the bachelor party, I guess?
是啊 我只希望我们还能记得些什么 Yeah. I just wish we could actually remember some of it.
伙计们 看我发现了什么 Hey, guys. look what I found.
我的相机 Whoa, that's my camera.
对啊 被放在车后座了 Yeah, it was lodged in the back seat of the car.
里面有照片? Are there photos on it?
是啊 有些远比我们想象的还惨烈 Yeah. some of it is even worse than we thought.
操 不可能吧 给我看看 No fuckin' way. Give me that.
等等 Wait.
我们一起看这些照片 就一次 We look at these pictures together, okay? one time.
然后我们消灭掉证据 And then we delete the evidences.
我说干脆现在就删了 I say we delete it right now.
是男人吗你 Are you nuts?
我想知道我怎么去的医院 有照吗? I wanna find out how I wind up in the hospital. is that in there?
有 全在里面 Yeah, it's in there.
伙计们 就一次 Guys, one time.
-一言为定? -一言为定 -Deal? -Deal.
我滴神啊! Oh, dear lord!
经典! That's classic!