王八蛋们！ Motherfuckers!
操 Fuck.
操！ Fuck!
咱快到家了，哥们儿！ We're almost home, buddy!
哥叫艾伦，哥买了一头长颈鹿！ My name's Alan and I bought a giraffe!
它是哥的了！ He's all mine!
它超级友善！ He's super friendly!
看那头长颈鹿 Look at the giraffe.
天哪 你估计它要去哪儿？ Oh, my God. Where do you think it's going?
我的人生充实了！我有一个美好的人生！ Oh, my life is great! I have a wonderful life!
我有一个美好的人生！ I have a wonderful life!
是的，先生 我一定会的 Yes, sir. Absolutely, I will.
太谢谢您了 不是，当然了 Thank you so much. No, of course.
不是吧，又这样，我很抱歉 No, no. And again, I'm so sorry.
市长刚刚打来，艾伦 That was the mayor, Alan.
这是个意外 It was an accident.
你说过不管我做什么你都会爱我的 You said you'd always love me no matter what I did.
我爱你 你是我最好的朋友 I know and I do. You're my best friend.
但是，艾伦，为啥你要买长颈鹿呢？ But, Alan, why would you buy a giraffe?
我一直想要一头 I've always wanted one.
我可以拿我的树屋喂它 I could feed him from my tree house.
而且，我觉得我很像它 Besides, they remind me a lot of myself.
怎么像了？ In what way?
像它一样高贵冷艳有内涵 They're majestic, pensive and tall.
- 有内涵？ - 没错 - Pensive? - Yeah.
- 你从哪学的这个词？ - 和朋友们玩填字游戏 - Where'd you learn that word? - "Words With Friends."
- 什么朋友？ - 系统随机分配的 - What friends, Alan? - You can set it on random.
艾伦，抛开这个不说，你害的一条高速公路都关了… Alan, aside from the fact that you shut down a freeway...
还杀了一头野生动物 you murdered a wild animal.
这可是大新闻 It's national news.
你根本不知道 You don't want to know
我花了多少钱来摆平这件事 the checks I had to write to fix this.
拜托 我们很有钱 Oh, please. We're rich.
有钱就屌咩？艾伦 We are not anything, Alan.
我是有钱 都把你养到40岁了… I am well-off. You are my 40-year-old son...
42岁 我42岁了！ Forty-two. I'm 42!
42岁还住在家里 42-year-old son who still lives at home.
你要继续接受治疗了 You are to go back on your medication
否则我就不给你钱花了 or I'm cutting you off.
别闹了 什么时候吃晚饭？ You're bluffing. When's dinner?
我和你妈都不能忍了！ Your mother and I can't take this anymore!
- 好把，你或许应该去治疗下 - 我不要！ - Well, you might have to. - I can't do it!
我不要这样！ I cannot do this!
# 我再也不在乎你说的话了 # # I don't care what you say anymore #
艾伦！艾伦！ Alan! Alan!
欢迎 Ave
玛利亚 Maria
天啊，他唱的真好听 My God, he's got the voice of an angel.
让人透不过气来 It's breathtaking.
欢迎 Ave
玛利亚 Maria
我不敢相信我爸死了 I can't believe my daddy is dead.
我想起了许多可以死在他之前的人 I can think of so many people I would rather have died first.
譬如说我妈 Like my mother.
正如你们所知 As many of you know...
我爸和我很要好 my father and I were extremely close.
他是我生活的伴侣 He was my life partner.
像每日必修的功课一样，他经常跟我说 He would often tell me, almost on a daily basis...
我是他最爱的孩子 that I was his favorite child.
我会永远记得他跟我说的最后一句话 I'll always remember the last words he said to me:
我为你骄傲，艾伦 "I'm proud of you, Alan.
一直都是 Never change."
嗯… Well...
爸，我听见了 I heard you loud and clear, Daddy.
我不会变了 I will never change.
永远不会 Never, ever.
妈呀 Oh, Mom.
你继续吧 Go ahead, chief.
希德·加纳是位好丈夫 Sid Garner was a beloved husband...
好父亲和好邻居 father and neighbor.
真是难过的一天 Wow, rough day.
- 没错，崔西最近好吗？ - 不怎么好 - Yeah, how's Tracy doing? - Not great.
她妈处在崩溃边缘 Her mother's totally on the edge,
而且如果这不够… and if all this weren't enough...
显然艾伦放弃治疗快半年了 apparently Alan's been off his meds for almost six months.
天啊 Oh, boy.
这可不太好 Yeah, it has not been pretty.
然后出了长颈鹿那码子事 Then there's the whole fucking giraffe thing.
我倒觉得挺有趣的 I thought that was pretty funny.
- 什么？ - 拜托，他杀了一头长颈鹿 - What? - Come on. He killed a giraffe.
谁他妈的在乎？ Who gives a fuck?
我不打算说什么 You know, I wasn't gonna say anything,
但是艾伦最近经常来我的诊所 but Alan's been stopping by my office lately.
开玩笑吧？去你那儿操嘛？ You're kidding me. What for?
我不知道 I don't know.
他就一直呆在等候区 He just sits in the waiting room
读着Highlights（全球知名儿童刊物） and reads Highlights magazine.
做填字游戏什么的，然后就走了 Fills in the puzzles, whatever he can, and then leaves.
看啊 Check it out.
天啊，你要对他做什么？ Jesus, what are you gonna do with him?
事实上，我想跟你说 Actually, I wanted to talk to you guys about that.
琳达一直想送艾伦去治疗 Linda really wants to stage an intervention for him.
真的吗？ An intervention? Really?
听起来不错 I think that sounds like a great idea.
但是… Yeah, the thing is...
她很确信艾伦是不会去的 she's pretty convinced he won't agree to it
除非我们几个去劝 unless all of us are there.
你懂艾伦的 I mean, you know how he is.
我不懂，这太难懂了 I don't know. It seems a little extreme to me.
天啊，你看看他 Oh, God. Look at him now.
好吧，我去，什么时候？ Okay, I'm in. When are we doing it?
今天我们跟崔西谈了谈 So we talked to Tracy today...
她说他们找的那地方设备挺不错 and she said that the treatment facility that they found is really nice.
环境也好 我上网查了 确实如此 It's beautiful. I checked it out online. Great reputation.
谁他妈管？再好也是在亚利桑那州 Who gives a fuck? It's in Arizona.
开车去个来回也要两天吧？ We gotta go on like a two-day drive for this shit?
走吧 Here we go.
他们应该省着点钱 They should just save their money
送艾伦去个减肥夏令营什么的 and send him to fat camp.
- 菲尔 - 咋了？ - Phil. - What?
他该减肥了 He should lose weight.
他得找个伴儿 He'll find a woman.
那哥们太寂寞了 The dude's lonely.
如果他寂寞 If he's so lonely,
那你为什么不多花点时间陪他呢？ why don't the you spend more time with him?
不，相信我，你也不会这样做的 No, trust me, you don't want that.
不 你绝对不会想的 No. You definitely don't want that.
拜托，他没那么烂 Come on. He's not that bad.
我是说，还会发生什么更烂的事情呢？纹身（宿醉2）？ I mean, what's the worst that's happened? The tattoo?
没错，纹身那次最烂了 Yeah, the tattoo's the worst.
是吧？ Right?
绝对是，纹身那次绝对是噩梦 Definitely. Tattoo was the worst. Nightmare.
说到纹身，你后来去检查过吗？ Speaking of which, you ever get tested?
什么？ Excuse me?
那些纹身的墨水 You know, because of the ink.
它们进入了你的体内 That went inside you.
我没事 I'm fine.
- 注意安全 - 好的，明天见 - Take care. - All right, good luck tomorrow.
谢谢 Oh, thanks.
- 11点我来接你 - 完美 - I'll pick you up at 11. Perfect.
太谢谢你了 Thank you so much.
谢谢 Thanks.
- 再次谢谢你们来 - 没关系 - Again, thank you so much for coming. - Oh, of course.
这位是尼克 艾伦的一位好朋友 This is Nico. Nico is a good friend of Alan's.
- 你好吗？ - 好 - What's up, bros? - Oh, yeah, hey.
这是布兰卡 And that's Blanca.
她一直照顾艾伦到大 Blanca's been with us since Alan was a baby.
- 你好 - 你好 - Hello. - Hello.
这位是提摩西，住在对面 And this is Timothy. Timothy lives across the street.
他经常和艾伦一起游泳 He and Alan swim together.
- 你好吗？ - 嘿 - Hey, what's up, little man? - Hey.
- 坐吧，你们 - 嗯 - Why don't you guys take a seat? - Yeah.
崔西载着艾伦在回来的路上 Tracy's on her way back with Alan right now.
他显然不知道接下来要发生什么@ Obviously, he has no idea this is coming,
所以一会儿气氛会有点紧张 so things might get a little intense.
但不管发生什么，记住 But, no matter what happens, remember:
这都是为了艾伦好 This is all about Alan getting better.
妈，我要奥利奥冰沙 Mother, Oreo smoothie, now!
大家好 Hey, everyone.
嘿，提摩西，今天去游泳有点冷吧？ Hey, Timothy. Little cold for a swim, isn't it?
你今天去了码头 玩的开心吗？ You went to the pier today. How was that?
- 开心 - 没错 - We had a great time. - Yeah.
我玩了会儿滑雪球，大概有45分钟吧 I played skee ball for, like, 45 minutes.
真是很烂的锻炼 It was a pretty sick workout.
怎么了？ What's going on?
呃，你坐下吧，哥们 Uh, why don't you have a seat, bud?
我们想跟你聊会儿 We just want to talk to you for a sec.
好吧 Okay.
嘿，菲尔 Hey, Phil.
- 耶 - 最近怎样？ - Yeah. - What's going on?
你牛逼 Oh, you got me.
听着，艾伦 So, Alan...
我们来这是为了告诉你一个超炫的地儿 we're all here to tell you about an awesome place...
叫 新地平线 called New Horizons.
听起来确实不错 That does sound awesome.
艾伦，这是一次治疗 Alan, this is an intervention.
什么？ A what?
妈 Mom.
艾伦 Alan.
“我很爱你，我们都爱” "I love you so much. We all do.
但我们不能再欺骗对方了 But we can't keep lying to each other.
从你小时候开始，我就想… Ever since you were a baby, all I want..."
天啊，还有人没睡着吗？ Oh, my God, is anybody else falling asleep?
听着，艾伦 Alan, listen.
- 妈我无意冒犯，但你实在有够无聊 - 艾伦先生 - No offense, Morn, but you're boring. - Mr. Alan.
你新来的吧？ Oh, now you?
“我帮你擦了30年屁股” "I pick up after you for 30 years.
打扫你的房间 I cleaned your room.
也看到了些不为人知的东西 I see things no one should ever see.
但是我仍然为你祈祷 But I pray for you.
艾伦先生，所有人都… Mr. Alan, everyone...
- 来人把这儿清了 - 艾伦 - Someone should clean that up. - Alan.
艾伦，你病了 Alan. You are not well.
你没在接受治疗 You're off your meds
而且你让你全家人都感到沮丧 and you're clearly upsetting your whole family.
胡扯 That's baloney.
艾伦，如果你同意这一切… Alan, if you say yes to this...
我们今天就带你去那里 we drive you there today,
我保证你回来后会大变样 and I promise you will come back a changed man.
“我们”是谁？谁是“我们”？ Who's we? What do you mean, "we"? Who's we?
我们，所有人 菲尔，我，你 We. All of us. Stu, Phil, me, you.
你也去吗，菲尔？ You going, Phil?
艾伦，我爱你 I love you, Alan.
嘿，艾伦，你饿吗？ Hey, Alan, you hungry?
要不要去吃点东西？ You wanna get some Arby's?
不，谢了 No, thanks.
知道吗，我早想跟你说了 You know, I meant to tell you earlier,
你那件背心真赞 that's a really cool vest you got on.
谢谢你，菲尔，那是我爸的 Thanks, Phil. It was my dad's.
他穿着它死的 He died in it.
真的好赞 That's intense.
嘿，艾伦，我只想说你是个勇敢的人 Hey, Alan, just want to say what you're doing is really brave.
我们都为你骄傲 We're proud of you.
没错，你可是要做大事的人 Yeah, you're gonna do great.
停车，我不想做了 Stop the car. I don't want to do this anymore.
- 什么？ - 我改变主意了 - What? - I changed my mind.
艾伦，你不要这样 Alan, you can't change your mind.
大家都看着你呢 Everybody's counting on you.
我这样就很好，我想回家 I'm fine just the way I am. I want to go home.
调头，快，现在！我不想… Turn the car around. Now, please! I don't...
他妈的怎么了？ What the fuck was that?
天啊，他们是故意的！ Oh, my God! He's doing it on purpose!
快让路！ Get out of his way!
我在让我在让我在让 I am, I am.
嘿，快滚开！ Hey, get the fuck off!
跟他们说说理 You have to exchange information.
操什么？天啊，菲尔！ - Why? - Jesus. Phil!
- 菲尔！ - 操 - Phil! Phil! - Oh, shit!
- 快走！ - 知道了！ - Get away from him! - I'm trying!
- 小心！ - 操！ - Look out! - Oh, shit!
我操！我操！ AW, shit! Oh, shit.
操！ Shit!
上！ Go, go, go!
快锁门，道格，快锁门！ Lock your doors! Doug, lock your doors!
操，到底怎么了？ Shit! What's going on?
快他妈滚…抓住！ Get the fuck... Hang on!
- 救命！ - 放手，傻子！ - Help! - Let go, fucking asshole!
- 斯图，我们没事 - 我们在电梯里！ - Stu! We're okay. - We're in an elevator!
你在哪？ Where are you?
他妈的到底怎么了？ What the fuck is going on?
这一定搞错了 Please, this is a huge mistake.
你们抓错人了！ You got the wrong guys!
我他妈的没抓错人！ I got the right fucking guys!
带他过来 带他过来 到这里来 Get him up. Pick him up. Put him here.
你是黑道格！他是黑道格！ You're Black Doug! That's Black Doug!
他妈的闭嘴 闭上臭嘴 Shut the fuck up with that. Shut the fuck up.
天啊，还真是 Oh, my God. It is.
艾伦，告诉我 Alan, tell me right now,
为什么黑道格要绑架我们？ why is Black Doug kidnapping us?
- 我说了别再叫我黑道格 - 不好意思 - I said don't call me that shit no more. - Sorry.
- 这不是艾伦的错 - 谢谢你，黑道格 - It ain't Alan's fault. - Thank you, Black Doug.
- 王八蛋！ - 道格！ - Motherfucker! - Doug!
道格！ Doug!
- 叫你野道格行了吧？ - 好 - Just Doug, okay? - Yeah.
你操嘛这么做？ Why are you doing this?
因为… Because...
是我叫的 I told him to.
我是马歇尔 I'm Marshall.
不管你知不知道 And whether you know it or not...
我们有一些共同点 we all have something in common.
四年前，这个傻子… And it all started four years ago when this moron...
卖错了药给他 sold the wrong drugs to this dumb fuck.
那晚随后发生的一切你根本无法想象 You have no idea the chain of events that were set in motion that night...
在他妈的一家酒行的停车场里 in the parking lot of a fucking liquor store.
哟，黑鬼 What up, nigga?
你说什么？ Excuse me?
放轻松，我不是条子 Chill out, I'm not a cop.
只是来享受夜生活 Just in town for the night.
我和我那帮兄弟们想high一把 Me and my boys looking to get our freak on.
你把迷奸药卖给了艾伦 You sold Alan roofies.
操，我一定是搞混那几个装药的袋子了 Oh, shit. I must've mixed up the bags.
是我的错，艾伦 My fault, Alan.
他妈的，因为这件事马歇尔差点操爆我 Damn. Marshall gonna be pissed off at me on that one.
马歇尔？ Marshall?
你是马歇尔 You're Marshall.
你因为这个把我们带到这儿来？ You brought us out here because of that?
你不是因为那个来这儿的 You're not here because of that.
你来这儿是因为我从未听说过的中国佬 You're here because some Chinaman I never heard of
到了我的地盘… strolls into my town...
把我的手下赶到了大街上 and takes one of my guys off the street.
- 周？ - 没错 - Mr. Chow? - Yes.
没错，就是那个该死的莱斯利·周先生 Yes, Mr. Leslie fucking Chow.
他完完全全扰乱了我的生活 You introduced a virus into my life.
天啊，他操了什么？ Oh, God, what did he do?
他爆了我的菊花 He fucked me in the ass.
哦，他经常这么操 Oh, he does that from time to time.
不是你想的那个爆菊花 Not literally.
天啊！ Jesus!
你们的破事过后几周，我收到消息… A few weeks after your bullshit, I get word...
有人从阿布扎比（阿拉伯联合酋长国首都）过来 this sheik is coming in from Abu Dhabi.
说是来搞些“投资” He was looking to make some less-than-legal investments.
带着两个老婆… He brought his two wives...
还有价值4千2百万的金条 and $42 million in gold bars.
休息的时候 It was a lay-up.
都趴下！趴下！ Get down! Get down!
我们收下了 We took it all.
两辆货车分装了这些金条 Two vans, each with 21 million in gold.
我的人分开走 MY guys split up.
一拨回到了 One of them made it back...
另一拨没有 one of them didn't.
有事咩，警官？ ls there a problem, officer?
没事了，傻屌 Not anymore, motherfucker.
莱斯利·周偷走了我一半的金条 Leslie Chow stole $21 million from me...
那是个星期二 on a Tuesday.
天啊 Oh, God.
我到处找他 I looked everywhere for him.
但他消失了，谁也找不到他 But he's gone, no one can find him.
直到这个贱货在曼谷被人抓了（见宿醉2） Until the little cockroach got himself pinched in Bangkok.
我去看他 So I pay him a visit.
给他提了个条件 I offer him a truce.
我不会伤害你 I won't touch a hair on his head.
我只想让他告诉我金条在哪儿 I just want him to tell me where my gold is.
可他不说 He refuses to talk.
不仅不跟我说… Not only does he refuse to talk to me...
他还从来没跟外界联系过… he has no communication with anyone from the outside...
除了你 except you!
他！ Hey-
没理由啊！ It's unfair!
艾伦，你一直跟周联络着？ Alan, you been talking to Chow?
- 他们一直在写信 - 嘿，那是我的隐私！ - They've been writing letters. - Hey, those are private!
“亲爱的莱斯利，天啊，烤汁猪排堡回来了！” "Dear Leslie, OMG, the McRib is back!"
“它为什么会消失呢？” "Why was it ever gone?"
没错！ Exactly!
“亲爱的艾伦，我今天尿在了一个狱卒身上 "Dear Alan, I threw urine on prison guard today.
嫁祸到了一个狱友身上，真希望你当时也在场” Blamed it on cellmate. Wish you were here."
没错啊，我是希望能亲眼目睹 Yeah, I wish I could've seen that.
一封接着一封毫无意义的信 Letter after letter of total nonsense...
除了一条共有的线索： except for one common thread:
你们！ You guys!
狼友 The wolf pack.
天啊，艾伦 Jesus Christ, Alan.
五个星期前 Five weeks ago,
周从最高安全等级的监狱溜了 Chow escaped from maximum security detention.
操 Oh, fuck.
上了一艘开往西海岸的船 He stowed aboard a shipping freighter bound for the West Coast.
- 他在哪？ - 我不知道 - Where is he? - I don't know.
艾伦，如果你知道周在哪 Alan, if you know where he is,
现在就跟这个人说 you tell this man right now.
菲尔，我不知道，我发誓 Phil, I don't know, I swear.
我几个月没跟周联络了 I haven't talked to him in months.
看来得来点硬的了 We gotta do it the hard way.
- 不要！ - 操什么？ - Oh, no! - What the fuck?
- 走吧 - 不！不！要操嘛？ - Let's go. - No! No! What the fuck?
你在做什么？ what are you doing?
道格现在是我的了 Doug is my insurance. He stays with me.
我见不到周，就爆了他的头 You don't give me Chow, I blow his brains out.
你们要是报警… You go to the cops...
我也爆了他的头 I blow his brains out.
你疯了吧！ That's insane!
我们根本不知道那个王八蛋在哪！ We don't even know where the fuck he is!
没人知道 No one does.
但我想身为狼友应该最有可能找到他 But I figure the wolf pack has the best chance of finding him.
给你们三天时间 You have three days.
去吧 Get to work.
把道格换成斯图好咩？ Can you take Stu instead?
操你大爷，艾伦 Fuck you, Alan.
操 Shit.
操！ Shit!
- 艾伦 - 操嘛？ - Alan. - Yeah, Phil?
我要你滚过来咬断这些绳子 - I need you to roll over here and chew off these hand-ties.
好 Okay.
操！ Damn it!
我操！ Oh, fuck!
- 我被晒伤了 - 快滚开 - Got a little too much steam. - Get off me.
好，我走 All right, let me just shimmy down.
你能别动吗？别动！ Would you just hold still? Hold still!
救命！ Help!
我去 Holy shit.
斯图，接下来操嘛？ What are we gonna do, Stu?
- 我们要去报警 - 不，千万别 - We're gonna go to the police. - Oh, no, we're fucking not.
你没听到那哥们说的？ Did you hear that guy?
报警他就爆了道格的头 He will kill Doug, period.
周就是个毒瘤子 Chow is a cancer.
第一天遇见他我就这么觉得 He's been a cancer since the first day we met him.
把周交给马歇尔，万事大吉 We're gonna hand him over to Marshall and then it's done.
- 嘿，菲尔 - 艾伦，现在没空 - Hey, Phil. - Alan, not now.
你得帮我，我一个人没法做 But I need you, Stu. I can't do this alone.
做什么？我们根本不知道周在哪 Do what alone? We have no idea where he even is.
- 菲尔 - 艾伦，你要操嘛？ - Phil. - What, Alan?
我说我前几天收到了这封奇怪的电邮 I was gonna say I got this strange e-mail the other day.
我不知道什么意思 I wasn't sure what it meant,
但我认为可能是周发的 but now I think it might be from Chow.
“肥仔，自由的感觉真好” "Fatty, it feels good to be out.
我离你不远了 别跟别人说 我会联系你的 I'm close by. Tell no one. I'll be in touch.
“周”（音同意大利语“再见”） "Chow."
这上面写的是“周” This says "Chow."
你又怎么不知道是周发的？ How did you not know this was from Chow?
那时候，我以为“周”是“再见”的意思 At the time, I thought it was "Chow" like "goodbye."
你懂的啊，就好像，“周，再见拜拜（意大利语）” You know, like, "Chow, arrivederci."
Sbarro，Papa John's啊（均为美国披萨品牌） You know, Sbarro, Papa John's.
我这就给他回信 I'm writing him back.
哇，等等，等一等 Whoa, wait, wait. Just hold on.
告诉他你很高兴他能越狱 Gonna tell him you're happy he's out
想见他 and you'd love to see him.
那就太好了 Ooh, I would love to see him.
你们知不知道你们在操嘛？ Do you even know what's going on?
知道啊 Yes, I do.
菲尔在做事，而我是他的助手… Phil's doing all the work, I'm his assistant...
而你站在那里看着像个傻子 you're standing there looking like an idiot.
我得安排个会面… I'm gonna arrange a meeting...
- 然后我们把周约出来 - “约他出来？” - and we're gonna take him out. - "Take him out"?
谁说约的？我们要怎么约？ Who says that? How do we take someone out?
我们得用点药 We'll use drugs.
处方药 Prescription drugs.
你懂的，牙医都能开的那种 You know, the kind a dentist has access to.
真幸运我们有一个会开假处方的牙医 Good luck finding a dentist who will write fake prescriptions.
哦我认识他，他叫斯图 Oh, I know one. His name is Stuart Price.
走吧，找个药店去 Now let's go find a fucking pharmacy.
你上道了，小子 You just got schooled, son.
你来不来？ Are you coming or not?
我不怎么想来 I don't like this plan.
好吧，那么再见 Okay, then. Ciao.
我真他妈的有幽默感 I got a pretty dope sense of humor, bro!
要这么多注射器操嘛？去问问看 This amount with syringes is just weird. Go check it out.
没事吧？ Everything okay?
你要的东西真够奇怪 Well, it's just a strange request.
这么多的药还有一包注射器 This drug in this amount and a pack of syringes.
- 有一点奇怪啊 - 耶 - It's just a little weird. - Yeah.
出了点状况，所以… It's just kind of an emergency, so...
看看你 See, that right there,
坐立不安，加上一副狼狈的模样… and you're acting all fidgety, plus you look like shit...
在我们这行看来，这些都是危险信号 in our business, these are all red flags.
我得找下医生，确保一切正常 I need to call the doctor, make sure everything's okay.
你真幸运 You're in luck,
因为我就是一位正式医生 because I actually am the prescribing doctor.
操，又一个危险信号 Oh, boy. Another red flag.
这上面说你是个牙医啊 It says here you're a dentist.
牙医就不是医生啊 Yeah. Doctor of Dental Science.
真他妈的乱 This is fucked up.
爸？ Hey, Dad?
有个活着的瘾君子 I think we got a live one.
怎样？ How'd we do?
挺好的，拿到了杜冷丁和一袋注射器 We did good. I got Demerol, a pack of syringes...
还差点丢了我的牙医执照 and almost lost my dental license.
- 周有什么消息吗？ - 没 - What about Chow? Anything? - No.
看啊，周20分钟前给我电邮了 Oh, look at this. He e-mailed me like 2O minutes ago.
艾伦，我们坐这儿都… Alan, we've been sit...
把电话给我 Give me the phone, please.
周说了啥？ What does it say?
他今晚八点想见艾伦，上面说让艾伦自己去 He wants to meet Alan tonight at 8. It says come alone.
- 自己去哪？ - 巴士站 - Come alone where? - A bus stop.
在提华纳（墨西哥西北部城市） In Tijuana.
提华纳完了 Tijuana's the bomb.
操 Oh, fuck.
不，这下好了 No, that's perfect.
不，从这儿到提华纳要三小时车程 No, it's like a three-hour drive from here.
斯图，麻烦多看看地图 Yeah, Stu, try reading a map.
是啊艾伦，下次有消息了麻烦吱一声 Yeah, Alan, try reading anything ever.
好吧斯图，麻烦别这么啰嗦 Yeah, Stu, try not having such big horse teeth.
我们需要个计划 All right, we need a plan.
周和艾伦要在公交车站的长椅上见面 They're meeting on a bus bench in a public place...
所以艾伦要让周确信那里很安全 so Alan needs to convince Chow to go someplace more private.
而那地方我们又能观察他，给他下药 Someplace where we can sneak up on him and drug him.
哪里呢？ Like where?
我不知道啊，小巷里吧 I don't know, like an alley.
电影院怎么样？ What about a movie theater?
我操，好主意啊 Fuck, that's actually a great idea.
光线变暗… The lights go down...
我坐在他后面 we take the seats behind him,
给他下药，事儿就这么完了 we jab him and it's fucking done.
下药这事儿我在行 I'll jab him if you want. I've drugged people before.
是我们 Yeah, us.
无意冒犯，可我们是不会让你去处理任何毒品的 No offense, but we're not letting you handle any drugs.
你会杀人的 You'll kill someone.
别闹了，我是专家 Oh, please, I'm an expert.
记不记得泰国那次的棉花糖（宿醉2）？ Remember the marshmallows in Thailand?
啊？ Yeah?
那次我的量掐的刚好 I made it so you could eat
至少吃了三个也还没死 at least three before hitting a fatal dose.
等等 Wait.
你的意思是如果我吃了四个就死了？ So you're saying I would've died if I had had four?
没人会一次吃四个棉花糖的，斯图 Nobody eats four marshmallows, Stu.
我能活着还得谢谢你这理论咯？ That insane theory is the only reason I'm still alive?
没错，不用谢 Yes! And you're welcome, by the way.
你差点杀了我，别说“不用谢”了 Don't say "you're welcome" for almost killing me.
- 好吧 - 谢谢 - Fine. - Thank you.
- 不用谢 - 操！ - You're welcome. - Goddamn it!
天啊 Oh, God.
你是对的 You know, you were right.
哪对了？@ About what?
那地方在亚利桑那 送艾伦去治疗根本没用 That place in Arizona. It's not gonna help him.
这哥们没得救了 There is no facility that can fix this guy.
我们下辈子还得陪他 We're gonna spend the rest of our lives dealing with him...
“因为我们是他现在的一切” because we're all he has now.
你知道了吗？ You realize that? We're it.
操，看看 Oh, shit, check it out.
是周吗？ Is that Chow?
嘿，肥仔 Hey, fat stuff.
莱斯利 Leslie.
- 自然点，往前看 - 好 - Act cool. Eyes forward. - Yeah, okay.
- 有人跟着你咩？ - 没有 - Anyone follow you? - No, I don't think so.
好的，好的 Good, good.
哥现在可是头号人物，得低调点 Gotta keep low profile right now. Chow wanted man.
谁也信不得 Can't trust anyone.
给哥来点糖吃，快 Quick, give me some sugar. Come on, come on, come on.
搞什么？ What the fuck?
艾伦亲周了？ Did he just kiss him?
听着，艾伦，哥现在有点麻烦 Listen, I'm in a bit of a pickle, Alan.
- 我需要个朋友 - 我就是你朋友，莱斯利 - I need a friend. - Well, I'm your friend, Leslie.
这正是我找你来的原因 Exactly. That's why I called you down here.
你是哥这操蛋的一生中唯一可以相信的人 You're the only person I can trust in this shit-hole of a life.
不是吧，斯图和菲尔咩？ That's not true. Stu and Phil are your friends.
他们？ Oh, really?
真有趣 That's interesting.
他们在哪？ Where are they?
- 附近 - 附近是哪里？ - Around. - Around where?
我不知道 I don't know.
- 混蛋！我说过让你自己来的！ - 莱斯利 - Motherfucker! I told you to come alone! - Leslie.
操 Shit.
- 怎么了？ - 周要走了？ - What happened? - Is he leaving?
回头聊！我还会吻你的！ We'll talk more! I'll give you another kiss!
周过来了 He's coming this way.
趴下，快趴下 Get down. Get down.
- 操 - 莱斯利！ - Fuck. - Leslie!
妈的 Oh, fuck.
- 出来，你们这帮混蛋！ - 莱斯利，不要！ - Get out of the car, you mutts! - Leslie, no!
- 放开我，死肥仔！ - 冷静地，周！ - Get off me, fat clown! - Chow! Chow, calm down!
- 谁让你们来的？ - 没人 - Who sent you? - No one! No.
我们只是想见你！ We just wanted to see you!
骗人！没人想见我！ Liar! No one wants to see Chow!
我们…我们想你啊 No, we... We miss you.
- 啥？ - 周，我们想你 - What? - We miss you, Chow!
- 就这么简单 - 耶 - That's it. - Yeah.
我们想你 We miss you.
你们想我？ You miss me?
非常想 So much.
你们想我 You miss Chow.
对啊 Yeah, buddy.
我们爱你啊，老周 We love you, Chow.
# 我今天感受着疼痛 # # I hurt myself today #
# 去试探我是否还有感觉 # # To see if I still feel #
# 我把注意力集中在疼痛上 # # I focus on the pain #
# 唯一真实的东西 # # The only thing that's real #
# 我变成什么样子了？ # # What have I become #
我在看什么鬼东西？ What the fuck am I watching?
# 我那些亲爱的朋友 # # My sweetest friend #
# 每一个我熟知的人 # # Everyone I know #
# 最终都离我而去 # # Goes away in the end #
- 要完了吗？ - 是吧 - Is that gonna be enough? - Oh, yeah.
这东西得一会才能溶好 This will take about a minute to kick in.
到时我们就跟服务员说他喝醉了 We'll tell the waitress he's drunk.
他会一直晕着，被我们拖上车 By the time we get to the car, he'll be out cold.
# 肮脏的国王 # # My empire of dirt #
# 我会让你失望 # # I will let you down #
# 我会让你伤心 # # I will make you hurt #
坐下，艾伦 Alan, sit down.
唱的真不错啊，周 That was really nice, Chow.
谢谢 Thanks, Phil.
关键是要唱出心里的歌 The key is to sing from your heart.
很墨西哥哈？你在这里操嘛？ So Mexico, huh? What are you doing down here?
搞一搞，吹一吹咯，老样子 You know, fucking, doing blow. Same old, same old.
哦，我还斗鸡 Ooh, I got into cockfighting.
- 哦，听起来很赞 - 没错 - Oh, cockfighting. That sounds wonderful. - Yes.
斗遍墨西哥无敌手 Basically, been killing it down here.
赞啊 That is just terrific. Right?
我觉得，就冲你的斗鸡，咱得操一杯 I mean, that's terrific. I think that calls for a toast.
没错 I like that.
- 斗爆别的鸡 - 斗爆它们 - To killing it. - Killing it.
没错，斗爆它们 Yeah, to killing it.
你还好咩？ You okay, Chow?
你说说看我好不好吧 I don't know. You tell me.
你有几只鸡？周 So how many rooster birds do you have, Chow?
- 安静点，不然我就割断他的脖子 - 天啊 - Shh. Act cool or I open his vein. - Oh, my God.
你们为什么要给可怜的老周下药？ Why you wanna drug poor Chow?
不是你想的那样子，周，都是那个马歇尔叫的 No, no. It's not what you think. There's this guy Marshall.
马歇尔？你们怎么会认识那个傻子？ Marshall? How you know that fat fuck?
他说你拿了他的金条 他把道格抓走了 He says you took his gold. He's got Doug.
我们不把你带去他就把道格杀了 He'll kill him unless we bring you back.
没错，我发誓，是真的 It's true! I swear to God, it's true!
这是事实，周 Chow. Chow, that's the truth.
操！ Goddamn it!
那个混蛋 That motherfucker.
斯图，你还好吗？ Stu, you okay?
- 你还好吗？ - 不好 - You all right? - No.
对不起，周 We're sorry, Chow.
对不起 We're sorry.
我们不知道怎么做 We didn't know what else to do.
下次别骗周 Next time, don't lie to Chow.
你是对的 You're right.
你太正确的，是我们错了 You are so right, and we made a huge mistake.
那么，我们现在该怎么办？ So, what do we do now?
看情况 That depends.
我能信你们吗？ Can I trust you?
这是哪儿？ What is this place, Chow?
我的房子 My house.
哥曾经是世界之王 Chow used to be on top of the world.
有三幢漂亮的房子在三个不同的国家 Had three beautiful homes in three different countries.
但墨西哥的这栋别墅 But this one, my Mexican villa...
是我的最爱 this was my favorite.
结果事情搞砸了 And everything got fucked.
哥进去了，哥的财产都没了 Chow go to prison, all my property seized.
我的房子… My homes...
被拿来拍卖 sold at auction to highest bidders.
但我知道些猛料 But I know something no one else knows.
这幢房子是我拿来藏金条用的 This house is where I stashed the gold.
- 马歇尔的金条？ - 没错 - Marshall's gold? - Yep.
藏在地下室的墙里 Hid it inside the basement wall.
没人知道在那里 No one knows it's there.
我们去把金条搞到手 We're gonna go get it.
等等，你是说闯进去？ Wait. You mean break in?
听着，马歇尔想要他的金条 Look, Marshall wants his gold.
拿到之前他会一直追杀我的 And he's gonna hunt me down until he gets it.
如果我们去找他不带着金条，他会杀了我的 If we show up without it, he'll kill me.
我们是不会闯进任何地方的 We're not breaking in anywhere.
这不是别的地方，是我的房子 Not anywhere, Stu. My house.
简直小菜一碟 It's piece of cake.
我对这里了如指掌 I know every square inch of this place.
最妙的是，我们要闯的这家主人 The best part, the guy we're stealing it from
根本不知道那里有金条 doesn't even know it's there.
所以他也不会知道金条没了 So he'll never know it's gone.
我们明白吧？哈？ You guys know what's going on, right?
你什么意思？ What do you mean?
我要说错了麻烦指正我 Well, and please correct me if I'm wrong,
我们不是闯进这房子 we're not breaking into this house.
这房子太小了 This house is too small.
我们是要闯进另外一幢房子 We're breaking into another house.
这只是个模型，对吗？ This is just a model, right?
什么？艾伦，不要！ What? Alan, no!
我的鸡！ My chickens!
操！ Oh, shit!
周，搞什么？ Chow, what the fuck?
小心它们的爪，很危险 Watch out for the claws! They're trained to kill!
它的喙好尖 His beak is so sharp!
- 操！ - 别动，我是来帮忙的 - Oh, fuck! - Stay still, I'm trying to help.
不要！把它拿走！ - Don't! - Get it off!
- 哥要正中靶心 - 你疯啦？ - Fucking bull's-eye! - Are you out of your mind?
射！射！射！ Shoot it! Shoot it! Shoot it!
斯图，窗！ Stu, the window!
- 扔出去 - 好的！ - Get it out! - Okay, okay!
扔出去！ Get it out!
别挣扎了 Don't struggle. Let go.
你为我赢过很多比赛，华莱士 You won a lot of fights, Wallace.
但这次你输了 Not this time.
这些鸡到底怎么了？ What the fuck is wrong with those chickens?
它们很愤怒 They're angry.
我拿可卡因来喂它们 All I feed them is cocaine.
还有鸡肉 And chicken.
这房子真赞 That's some house, Chow.
这可是我的仙境，现在不是了 It was my Shangri-La. Now it's gone.
别在我的车里吐口水，好吗？天啊 Could you not spit inside my minivan, please? Jesus.
现在谁住那儿？ Who lives there now?
搞网络公司的屌丝，他从不住在这里 Some dot-com millionaire. He's never here.
这里只是拿来度假的 This is a vacation home.
保姆周六不来 The help doesn't show up on Sundays.
只有几只看门狗哈，斯图？ No one there but the guard dogs. Stu?
我们把汉堡扔到门口 We'll toss these burgers over the gate,
等待杜冷丁放倒它 wait for the Demerol to kick in.
一定得把它们杀了 Make sure you put in enough to kill them.
我们才不要杀狗，周 We're not gonna kill the dogs, Chow.
这只会让它们昏迷几个小时 This will knock them out for hours.
不好意思，我不知道你在PETA（善待动物组织善待动物组织）工作 Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you worked for PETA.
真是个娘炮 What a pussy.
拿着，艾伦 Alan, take that.
- 你去哪里？ - 你会知道的 - Where are you going? - You'll see.
原谅我，宝贝 Pardon me, little loser.
不好意思 Excuse me, fucking asshole.
跟着我 Follow me.
好，行动是这样的： Okay, here's the deal:
屋里有两处控制面板 two security panels inside.
你掐了一个，另一个就响了 If you cut only one wire, it triggers alarm.
条子就来了 Place will be crawling with cops.
但如果你两个一起掐 But if you cut wire on both panels at same time,
就不会响 alarm disabled.
是啊，但我们怎么才能不触动警报然后进去？ Yeah, but how are we gonna get inside without tripping the alarm?
好好瞧着 Check this out.
还有问题咩？ Any more stupid questions?
谁要跟着我？ Now, who's coming with me?
我来吧 I'll do it.
你想告诉他世界的真实吗？ You wanna tell him?
艾伦，你太胖了 Alan, you're just too fat.
收到 Roger that.
你踢我，你这个混蛋 You kicked me, you motherfucker.
不不不，别起来，会触发动作侦测器 No, no, no. Don't get up. Will trip motion detectors.
像条狗样走 Stay low like dog.
好吧，好主意 Okay. Good idea.
- 哪边？ - 那儿，厨房 - Which way? - In there. The kitchen.
搞什么？ Aah! What the fuck is that?
哈哈，我在跟你问好啊，我们是狗，忘了啊？ Ha, ha. I'm saying hello. We're dogs, remember?
嘿，斯图？ Hey, Stu?
看看这个 Check it out.
天啊，真恶心 Oh, my God! So gross!
不要这样，周 God! Chow, cut it out!
好了，我到位了 Okay, I'm here.
现在呢？ Now what?
把盖子拆了，你就能看到线 Pull the cover off so you can see the wires.
好 Okay.
好了 Okay. Done!
数到三，剪断灰线 Okay, on three, cut the gray wire.
一，二… One, two...
等下，等下！ Wait. Wait, wait, wait!
我这儿没灰线，只有红、绿和黄线 I don't have a gray wire. I have red, green and yellow.
奇怪了，我这儿有淡灰、中灰和深灰色的线 That's weird. I have light gray, medium gray, dark gray.
真的？ You do?
他妈的 Motherfucker.
怪我了，我是色盲 My bad. I'm colorblind.
你是啥？ You're what?
不管了，把中间那根剪了 Fuck it, just cut the middle one.
不，我中间那根有可能跟你的不同 No, my middle one could be different.
线都绕一起了 The wires are all twisted.
- 数到三 一，二… - 周，住手！ - On three. One, two... - Chow, stop!
天啊 God.
别动，我去找你 Hold on, I'm coming to you.
他们搞什么鬼这么久？ What the fuck's taking them so long?
你这衬衫哪儿买的？Diesel？ Where'd you get that shirt, the Diesel store?
菲尔 Phil.
操嘛？ What?
真好看，你这衬衫哪儿买的？ It's a cute top. Where did you get that shirt?
什么问题？ What's the problem?
把你想剪的线指给我看 Just point to the wire you want me to cut.
- 这根灰的 - 好的 - This gray one right here. - Great.
照你说的，这是根绿线 For your information, that's green.
哪根是红的？ Which one's red?
你左手那根 The one in your left hand.
等等，左手是哪只？我读写困难@ Wait, which hand is that? I'm also dyslexic.
搞什么？ What the fuck?
你在哪儿买的？ Where'd you get it?
我不知道 我找到了会给你买一件的 I don't know. I'll find out, I'll get you one.
我常去的那家商场就有家Diesel There's a cool Diesel store in the mall that I like to go to.
就靠近饮食区 Right next to the food court.
我不知道这件衣服是不是Diesel的 I don't know if it's Diesel.
看起来像 Looks like a Diesel.
你到底有什么病？ What's the matter with you?
好的，你还拿着我给你的那根线吧？ Okay, you're still holding the one I left you with, right?
那必须的 Pretty much. Heh, heh.
妈的 Oh, fuck.
好的，数到三 All right. On three!
一 One...
二 two...
三 three.
我去，奏效了 Holy shit, it worked.
没事了？ All good?
小菜一碟 - Easy peasy. - All right.
你根本想不到多简单 You have no idea.
来吧 Come on.
小心点，周 Jesus, be careful, Chow.
操爆这傻屌 Fuck this guy.
住我的房子，过我的生活 Living in my house. Living my life.
能照着计划走咩？ Can we just stick to the plan?
好 Fine.
废了 Ruined.
这哥们疯了 He is completely out of control.
咱把大事先办了吧 Let's just get this done.
这边走，过来， 过来 This way. Come on, come on.
就埋在这堵墙后 It's buried behind this wall.
- 艾伦 - 给你，老大 - Alan. - Here you go, boss.
操！ Fuck!
- 你好吗？ - 很好 - You okay? - Yeah, I'm okay.
热个身而已 Just warming up.
真重，有轻点的咩？ It's so heavy. Do we have a lighter one?
让我来吧，周 Why don't you just let me do it, Chow?
好吧 你来我来都一样 Okay. Either way, you or me. Same thing.
把衣服脱了吧，好操活 You might wanna take your shirt off. Makes it easier.
- 啥？ - 我听到了 - What? - I've heard that too.
看到了吗？周回来找你们了 See that? Chow come back for you.
这是最后的了 That's the last of it.
确定？ You sure?
- 嗯 - 真的确定？ - Yeah. - You triple sure?
- 嗯！ - 好的！ - Yes! - Good!
周？ Chow?
周！ Chow!
周，快点他妈的开门！ Chow, open this fucking door right now!
周！ Chow!
史都华·普莱斯 Stuart Price.
没犯过重罪，被抓过一次 No felonies. One arrest:
内华达州，拉斯维加斯 Las Vegas, Nevada.
菲尔·温内克 Phil Wenneck.
没犯过重罪，被抓过一次 No felonies. One arrest:
还是在内华达州，拉斯维加斯 Also Las Vegas, Nevada.
艾伦·加纳 Alan Garner.
这上面记的没错吧？ Is this record accurate?
都是我操的 I did that.
- 公交车上打飞机 - 没错是我 Masturbating on a city bus. Yep, that was me.
听着，我们在这儿5小时了 Look, we've been here for 5 hours.
该说的都说了 We already told your guys everything.
没有 No.
你只说了个中国佬的故事 You told them a story about a little Chinese man.
莱斯利·周 他是个国际罪犯 关起来 Leslie Chow. He's an international criminal. Look it up.
一个没人听说过的中国佬 A little Chinese man that no one in town has seen or heard of.
你们说的那家宾馆也找不到他 The hotel where you say he's staying? No one there.
搞不好他已经出城了 Probably because he left town.
这是一种可能 That's one theory.
另外一种是你在撒谎 Another theory is that you're lying.
“行为淫荡，举止下流，在圣诞前夕” "Lewd behavior, Cracker Barrel, Christmas Eve."
不好意思 Excuse me.
我们完了 We're fucking dead.
周为什么这么做？ Why would Mr. Chow do this?
因为他是个利用我们的贪婪的小人 Because he's a greedy piece of shit who used us.
没错，可他也是我们的朋友 Yeah, but he's our friend.
别傻了，艾伦 Grow up, Alan.
你们可以走了 You're free to leave.
所有的指控都被撤销了 All the charges have been dropped.
谁撤的？ By who?
你们走运了 It's your lucky day.
门外有辆车在等你们 There's a car waiting for you out front.
来吧，我们走 Come on, let's go.
哦，天啊 Oh, Jesus.
什么？ What?
对不起 I'm sorry.
这是什么意思？ What is this?
上车吧 Get in the car.
不好意思，先生？ Excuse me, sir?
我们要去哪儿？ Where we headed?
欢迎回来 Welcome back.
- 搞什么 - 走吧 - What the fuck? - Let's go, guys.
到后面去 Out to the back.
- 道格？ - 小心，伙计们 - Doug? - Guys. Careful.
你给我过来 Get your ass back over here.
莱斯利·周不住在这里 Leslie Chow never lived here.
你们闯的根本不是他的旧房子 You didn't break into his old house.
是我的房子 You broke into my house.
我不明白 I don't understand.
你们没拿回周偷走的金条 You didn't get back the gold he stole from me.
反倒让他把另一半也偷走了 You got the other half that he didn't.
天啊 Oh, my God!
你是说周没拿到的那一半？ What, you mean the half he never had?
周是个世界级的小偷，你们只是他的工具 He's a world-class rat, and you three were his accomplices.
- 不！ - 我们根本不知道 - No! - We had no idea.
我们是想帮你来着 We were trying to help you. We thought you'd be happy!
太感谢了 Thank you so much.
太感谢你们把我给洗劫一空了 Thank you for ripping me off.
太感谢你们扫荡了我的家！ Thank you for desecrating my home!
还有要感谢你们杀了我的狗！ And thank you for killing my fucking dogs!
我们没杀，它们只是晕过去了 We didn't kill your dogs. They're just tranquilized.
没错 Oh, right.
你懂个屁 You don't know.
- 周走时扭断了它们的脖子 - 啥？ - Chow snapped their necks on his way out. - What?
有人要为此付出代价 And somebody's gotta pay.
- 他说的没错 - 不要，不要！啊！ - He's right. - No, no, no! Aah!
我的保安头子 My head of security.
连三个傻子和一个拿着剪线钳的中国佬都比不上 Couldn't stop three fuckups and a Chinaman with a pair of wire cutters.
太扯了吧 Unreal.
没关系 我知道这很吓人 That's okay. I know it's scary.
那谁，上楼给艾伦拿条裤子 Hector. Run upstairs and grab a pair of sweatpants for Alan here.
我穿44码的 I'm a 44 slim.
等多拿几条让我选咩？ Can you bring me a few options?
你们找到过周，再找一次 You found Chow once. Find him again.
还有我的金条 And my gold.
等着 Wait.
我们连车都没，周偷走了我的车 We don't even have a car. Chow stole my minivan.
那辆轿车归你们了，找那谁拿下钥匙 Take the limo. Hector has the keys.
然后滚蛋 And get going.
我今天把道格杀了 I'm killing Dougs today.
- 我从没见过杀人 - 是吗？ - I never saw anyone get killed before. - Right?
天啊，当时人家好怕 My God, that was so intense.
那哥们就这么死了 I mean, he just fell and then he's dead.
真恶心 I feel sick.
我也觉得 Me too.
或许我们该找点吃的 Well, maybe we should get some food, guys.
我们该怎么做？我们根本不知道周在哪里？ What are we gonna do? We have no idea where Chow is.
我也不知道 I don't know.
他偷了你的车，我们可以报失… He took your minivan. We could report it stolen...
然后警察会追踪到他？ and then they could track him down?
值得一试 It's worth a shot.
操！ Oh, fuck!
我的手机落在车里了 I left my phone in the minivan.
如果你丢了你的手机，费尔 Well, if you lost your phone, Phil,
我这有个软件可以找回来 I have that Find My Phone app.
这不是当下要解决的问题，艾伦 We have bigger problems than that, Alan.
等等，等等，如果你的手机在车里… No, wait, wait, wait. If your phone's in the minivan...
而周偷了你的车，那么你的手机就和周在一起！ and Chow has the minivan, then your phone's with Chow!
你听到他说的了，我们的问题不是这个，斯图 You heard him. We have bigger problems than that, Stu.
艾伦，把你的手机给我，快点 Alan, give me your phone. Quick.
- 赞 - 没错 - That's brilliant. - Yes.
- 你的密码是？ - “Hey Phil.” - Wait, what's your password? -"Hey Phil."
- 耶？ - 没错，就是它 - Yeah? - No, that's it.
- 什么？ - 我手机的密码 - What? - That's my password.
“Hey PHil” "Hey Phil."
就是它 It is it.
菲尔知道了 Phil gets it.
没什么比丢了手机更不好的了 Nothing worse than losing your phone.
你刚刚看到个人被杀了 You just saw a man get murdered.
你的姐夫被绑了 Your brother-in-law is kidnapped.
你确定这些都比丢手机好？ You sure there's nothing worse?
你不懂 You don't get it, Stu.
你就是不懂，斯图 You just don't get it, do you?
我的手机上有超过50个软件 I have over 60 apps on that phone.
丢了怎么办？ What if I lost my phone?
你知不知道我得花多久… Do you have any idea how much time and man-hours it would take...
才能重新下载这些软件？ to re-download those apps?
你说的对，我是没想过，谢谢你 You are right. I had not thought of that. Thank you.
天啊，怎么脑残的老是你，斯图！ Oh, God, it's not always about you, Stu!
找到了 It's locating.
- 真的找到了 - 什么？ - Oh, God, of course. - What?
周在哪？ Where is he?
那混蛋在拉斯维加斯 He's in fucking Vegas.
@散弹枪 Shotgun.
哦，不 Oh, no.
嘿，斯图 Hey, Stu?
我不是很喜欢和你这样交谈 I don't enjoy talking to you that way.
我不知道为什么你老是想激怒我 I don't know why you insist on making me blow my top.
我们一起经历过这么多次冒险… We've been on a lot of adventures together...
但你看起来还是什么都没学到 but it seems like you haven't learned anything.
什么都没有！ Anything!
你好好想想 You think on it.
我在车里等你 I'll be in the limo.
他没事 He's okay.
得有人把这炸了 Someone needs to burn this place to the ground.
我告诫自己再也不要来了 I told myself I would never come back.
别担心 Well, don't worry.
今晚过后一切就结束了 It all ends tonight.
这上面说就在我们右边200码 It says 200 yards up on the right.
就是那里 And there it is.
好神奇 Amazing.
看来周不要这车了 Looks like he ditched it.
- 门没锁 - 操 -It's open. - No shit.
转转看看 Well, look around.
周有没有落东西在车里 Let's see if he left anything in here.
- 我找到了杜冷丁 - 好的，留着，我们要用 - I found the Demerol. - Good. Keep it, we're gonna need it.
我找到手机了，但他妈的钥匙不见了 I got my phone. No fucking keys, though.
- 艾伦，你找到了什么？ - 没找到金条 - Alan, anything? - No, not even the gold.
周他妈的来这里干嘛？ Why the fuck would Chow come down here?
我知道，懂吗？ I know, right?
为什么？ Why here?
你无法对抗约翰·塞纳纯粹的的威力！ You can't match the pure strength and power of John Cena!
塞纳放倒了庞克！ Cena puts Punk down!
漂亮！ Nice!
打扰了 你有没有看到过… Excuse me. Have you happened to see the driver...
门口那辆车的司机？一个矮矮的中国佬 of that minivan that's out front? Short Asian guy?
中国佬都矮好咩？ Yeah, they're all short.
没错 That's so true.
但他身上带着一些金子 Right, but he may have been trying to pawn some gold.
这就和我有关了是吗？ That would be my business, wouldn't it?
我喜欢你的上衣 I like your T-shirt.
我在论坛看过那场秀 I saw that show at the Forum.
他唱了“Captain Jack” He played "Captain Jack."
是啊，很棒的一首歌 Yeah, I heard that was legendary.
美女… Woman...
我喜欢上你了 you have no idea.
和我交往吧 Try me.
凯西，我饿了 你订的中国菜呢 Cassie, I'm hungry. I thought you ordered Chinese.
妈，我这儿有客人！ Mom, I'm with a customer!
我说什么时候吃就什么时候吃！ You'll eat when I say it's time to eat!
可医生… But the doctor...
再不闭嘴我就操爆你的老菊 If you don't reverse that right now, there's gonna be hell to pay.
她屌爆了 She's rude.
谢谢 Thank you.
听到了吗？没人喜欢你，老家伙 Yeah, you hear that, Ma? Nobody likes you!
没错，闭上你的老菊 Yeah, keep your mouth shut!
你真聪明 You're smart.
一个中国佬早些时候来过 A Chinese guy came in here earlier.
很奇怪 It was pretty weird.
他拿来一个金条 He pawned a gold brick.
值40万的金条他只要了1万8 The thing's worth 400 grand, he took 18,000.
他说他要去哪了吗？ Did he say where he was going?
对不起，我有在跟你说话咩？ I'm sorry, was I talking to you?
他说他要三样东西 He said he wanted three things:
妹子，汉子，还有浴盐 He wanted some girls, some guys and some bath salts.
我给了他一张三陪服务的卡然后他走了 I gave him a card for an escort service and he took off.
也给你们一张吧，这服务绝对赞爆 Pretty high-end, so good luck getting anything out of them.
谢谢你 Thank you.
我们得走了 We gotta go. We should go.
没错 - Yeah. - Yeah.
我懂了，我懂了 I'll get it, I'll get it. I'll get it.
有什么吗？ Anything?
没有，还是忙线 No, I'm still on hold.
看那傻逼多开心 Oh, look how happy this fucking guy is.
你见没见过他这么嗨？ Have you ever witnessed a moment with that much heat?
我是说，嗨到白热级了！ I mean, white-hot heat, bro!
没有，刚刚真是有够劲爆 No, it was pretty intense.
耶！ Yeah!
事情很急 Yeah, it's actually an emergency.
那人有口浓重的亚洲音 He has a thick Asian accent.
我知道了 I totally get it...
但是现在情况很紧急而且… but this is a highly unusual circumstance and...
好吧 Okay. All right.
只是个负责搞三陪的 It's an escort service.
没什么线索 They're not gonna tell us shit.
找个三陪女怎样？ Maybe an escort would.
- 你还有那谁（宿醉1）的电话？ - 是，不过… - You still have her number? - Yeah, but...
那样很逊好咩 it'd be pretty awkward.
我们只能找她了 It's all we got.
她又对我笑了，从店里面 She smiled at me again, from inside the shop.
今天是我这辈子最赞的一天 This is the best day of my life.
天啊，是你们 Oh, my God, you guys...
都过了这么久了 It's been so long.
- 进来，进来 - 谢谢你 - Come in, come in. - Thank you.
- 你看起来不错啊 - 你也是啊，你怀孕了 - You look great. - So do you! You're pregnant.
我只是胖了 I feel so fat.
拜托 Oh, please.
你们能把鞋脱了吗？我有点洁癖 Do you guys mind taking your shoes off? I'm a germ freak.
- 好吧 - 当然 - Yeah, sure. - Of course.
艾伦 Alan.
艾伦，你在操嘛？ Alan, what are you doing?
对不起 Sorry.
- 你房子真不错 - 谢谢 - you have a great house. - Thank you.
我去年嫁给了个外科医生 I got married a year ago to a surgeon.
- 又是一个医生，你相信吗？ - 又一个医生 - Another doctor, can you believe it? - Another doctor.
他叫杰夫，你们会喜欢他的 His name's Jeff. You guys would love him.
泰勒，跟妈咪的朋友们问声好 Tyler, say hi to Mommy's friends.
嗨 Hi.
等等，那是那个小孩咩（宿醉1）？ Wait, is that the baby?
是啊，时光飞逝啊，对吗？ Yeah, time flies, huh?
能找个私密点的地方好聊天吗？ Jade is there a place we could talk that's a little bit more private?
去厨房吧，想喝咖啡吗？ Let's go in the kitchen. You guys want coffee?
太好了 Perfect.
你来吗？ Hey', you coming?
我能去跟那小家伙说声嗨吗？ Is it okay if I go say hello to the little guy?
当然 Of course.
东西不错 Nice stuff.
谢谢，杰夫买给我的 Thanks. Jeff bought it for me.
杰夫是谁？不是你爸爸？ Jeff. Who's that, your fake dad?
你以前叫卡洛斯 Your name was Carlos once.
你知道吗？ Did you know that?
不知道 No.
这是真的 Well, it was.
说实话，你还是叫卡洛斯好听 And, frankly, it suits you better.
好吧 Okay.
还记得我吗？ Do you remember me?
不记得了 No.
你是我爸爸？ Are you my real dad?
没错 Yes.
我不懂 你得理解 I don't know. You gotta understand,
我几年前就已经离开那个圈子了 I've been out of that world a few years now.
是的，当然 我们全都知道 Yeah, of course. We totally get that.
我的意思是，杰夫知道我的过去，他没说什么，只是… I mean, Jeff knows everything and he's cool, but...
我们只是问问你知不知道附近… We're just asking if you can call around...
的人知不知道周在哪里 just find out if anybody might know where he is.
我们真的需要你的帮助 We could really use your help.
你以前很喜欢我背着你走来走去 You used to love it when I would carry you around.
有时我还会觉得你的头靠在我的胸口 Sometimes I can still feel your little head on my chest.
你喜欢这个叫杰夫的人吗？ So do you like this new Jeff guy?
喜欢，他人很好 Yeah, he's nice.
我爸也是个好人，我们什么都一起做 My dad was nice too. We did everything together.
他是我生活的伴侣，哈 He was my life partner, heh.
可我让他失望了 I really let him down.
好吧 Okay.
相信我，你不会想去那里的，好吗？ Just trust me, you don't want to go over there, okay?
不是这个 Not this one.
我也爱你 I love you too.
她说这个疯狂的中国佬… She says there's this crazy Chinese guy...
在凯撒行宫的顶楼包间里 and he's holed up in the penthouse suite of Caesars Palace.
妹子们进进出出，满地的药… There's girls going in and out, drugs everywhere...
听起来赞爆了 It sounds like a bad scene.
嘿，艾伦？ Hey, Alan?
我们得走了 We gotta go.
我要走了，小伙子 I gotta go, little man.
跟你聊天很赞 It was great talking to you.
击个掌 High five.
- 见到你真好 - 我也是 - It's great to see you. - You too, Jade.
- 谢谢你帮忙 - 耶 - Thanks so much for your help. - Yeah.
你的孩子真好人 That's a great kid you got there.
他是最棒的 He is the best.
艾伦 Alan.
等等，我有东西要给你 Oh, hold on. I have something for you.
完美了 Perfect.
拜托 Oh, please.
回头见，卡洛斯 I'll see you around, Carlos.
是我，斯图，我们找到周了 - Yeah. - We got him.
- 好的，他在哪里？ - 凯撒行宫 - Great. Where is he? - Caesars Palace.
调头，我们去拉斯维加斯 Change of plans. Tell him we're going to Vegas.
我现在过去 I'm on my way.
城外有个地方 There's a spot just outside of town.
我一会发短信告诉你详细地址，6点见 I'll text you the details. Be there at 6 a.m.
把那家伙绑了来见我 And make sure the little fucker's tied up.
我们还没抓到他 We don't have him.
嘿，马歇尔，是菲尔 Hey, Marshall, it's Phil.
可能斯图没说清楚 Maybe Stu wasn't clear.
我们没抓到周 We don't actually have Chow,
只是知道他在哪里而已 we just know where he is.
我们是希望你的人… Yeah, and we were hoping that you and your guys...
能去凯撒酒店把他抓走 could go to Caesars and get him.
我不管你们想什么 I don't give a fuck what you were hoping.
说好了你们带周来见我 The deal is you bring Chow to me.
- 操 - 6点来，不然我就爆了道格的头 - Oh, fuck. - 6 a.m. Or your friend is dead.
操 Shit.
天啊 Oh, God.
我来过这地方 This place gives me the chills.
我知道 I know, right?
能回来真好 It's great to be back.
- 太多美好的回忆了 - 你他妈的在逗我？ - So many good memories. - Are you kidding me?
好的，计划是这样的 Okay, so here's the deal:
你得有钥匙才能到周那层楼 You need a key just to get onto his floor.
即使你到了那里 And then once you're there,
他的保安还在门口守着 he's got security posted at the door.
真滑稽 It's ridiculous.
让我猜猜，那是他？ Let me guess, that's him?
没错，拿着闪光板的那傻子 Yep. The one with the strobe lights.
有办法了 Igotanidea.
你们一定会吓尿的 But you're not gonna like it.
这行不通 It's not gonna work.
你这态度就不行 Not with that fucking attitude.
你知不知道这里是拿大理石做的？ You know this whole place is made out of marbles?
来吧，快 Come on. Go, go, go.
找到周后 After we stick Chow,
艾伦和我会把他带到大堂 Alan and I are gonna take him down through the lobby.
在车里等着 Be waiting in valet.
别熄火，准备出发 Engine running, ready to go.
你确定？ Are you sure about this?
把杜冷丁给我 Give me the Demerol.
20分钟后见 See you in 20 minutes.
- 嘿，菲尔？ - 耶？ - Hey, Phil? - Yeah?
别玩脱了 Don't die.
好吧 All right.
你准备好了吗？ Are you ready to do this?
耶 Yeah.
等等，我们在操嘛？ Wait, what are we doing?
我去 Holy shit.
我们要爬下去 We're gonna climb down...
到阳台那儿得有8英尺高 and then it's about an 8-foot drop to the balcony.
- 好了吗？ - 耶 - All right? - Yeah.
你自己吐 No, you spit in your own hand.
好吧 Oh, yeah.
空气太操了 Dry desert air.
- 没事的艾伦，你不需要这样 - 好吧 - Alan, it's fine. You don't need it. - Okay.
天啊 Oh, God.
小心！ Careful!
- 菲尔！ - 我没事 - Phil! - I'm all right.
我没事！ I'm okay!
- 嘿，菲尔 - 怎么了？ - Hey, Phil. - What's wrong?
等一会儿 Hold on a second.
- 啥？ - 等一会儿！ - What? - Hold on!
你晃出来点儿 Like, kick yourself out a little bit.
艾伦 Alan.
- 别动 - 艾伦！ - Stay still! - Alan!
拍到了咩？ Did you get it?
没有，等等 No. Hold on.
哈，真酷啊 Ha, that's cool.
我去！ Fuck me!
一切还好？ Everything all right?
没事 It's okay!
都好！ It's all right!
我成功了！ I got it!
你好吗？ Are you okay?
到你了，艾伦 Alan, it's your turn.
没错 That's it.
我不行了，菲尔 Phil, I can't. I can't.
来吧 Come on.
艾伦，你还好吧？ Alan, you all right?
叫保安，菲尔！ Phil, call Security!
- 我要滑下去了 - 抓紧了！ - I think it's slipping! - Just hold on!
天啊！ God!
- 你得放松 - 我在滑，菲尔！ - You need to calm down. - I'm slipping, Phil!
操！ Fuck!
操！你还好吗？ Oh, shit! You okay?
救命！ Help!
不 Oh, no.
我要死了 I'm gonna die, Phil.
你没事，就… No, you're fine. Just...
跳下来我接着你 Drop down to me.
别闹了 No chance.
我在这上面很好 I'm good up here.
艾伦你可以的，我会接住你的 Alan, you can do this. I'll catch you.
就… Just...
跳吧 let go.
就这样，直着跳下来 That's it. That's it. Just drop straight down.
别往前跳 But don't push off.
不！ No!
- 天啊！ - 到这儿来！ - Oh, God! - Come here!
他妈的！ Holy fuck!
你还好咩？ You Okay?
嗯 Yeah.
操 Shit. Oh, fuck.
我差点死了 I almost died, Phil.
拜托，我是不会让你死的，我爱你 Come on. I wasn't gonna let you go. You're my boy.
我也爱你 And you're my man.
你操嘛呢，艾伦？ Alan, what are you doing? Alan.
好吧 Okay.
我们去抓周那个混蛋 Let's go get this fucker.
你们有没有见到我的…… Have you seen my...?
哈？ Huh?
菲尔！ Phil!
王八蛋！ Motherfuckers!
抢他的枪！ Grab the gun!
操！菲尔！ - Oh, fuck! - Phil!
菲尔你还好吗？ Phil, you okay?
周！ Chow!
开他妈的的门，周！ Chow, open the fucking door!
操 Fuck.
别闹，周 Chow, stop.
你们王八蛋 You motherfuckers!
莱斯利，下来吧！求你了！ Leslie, get down from there! Please!
你会受伤的！ You're gonna hurt yourself!
受伤才怪呢 Nothing hurts Chow.
我是隐形的！ I am invisible!
是“无敌”吧，而你不是 It's "invincible," and you're not.
你只是他妈的疯掉了 You're just out of your fucking mind.
想不死的话快点从那儿下来！ Now get down from there before you die!
死？ Die?
我都死了你们还怎么杀我？ How do you kill what's already dead?
操！ Oh, fuck!
操你大… Holy...
- 你好吗？ - 不好 - You okay? - No.
网上看 Look up.
那他妈是啥？ What the fuck is that?
- 是周！ - 啥？ - That's Chow! - What?
跟着他 Follow him.
我爱可卡因！ I love cocaine!
快走开！ Out of the way!
这是怎么了？ How did this happen?
我们把他困住了，结果他跑了 We had him trapped, and then he jumped!
那哥们疯了！ He's out of his fucking mind!
我疯了！ I'm out of my fucking mind!
真美 So beautiful.
别跟丢了，斯图 Stu, do not lose him.
我在努力 I'm trying.
操 Oh, shit.
# 我相信我能飞翔 # # I believe I can fly #
# 我相信我能触到天空 # # I believe I can touch the sky #
# 日日夜夜，我想象这一幕 # # Think about it every night and day #
我们把这些金条带走 We gotta pack up all this gold. We're taking it with us.
告诉我情况，斯图 Talk to me, Stu.
我找到他了 I got him.
哈哈，我找到他了 Ha, ha. I got him!
操！ Oh, shit!
操 Shit.
操！跟丢了 Fuck! I lost him!
别闹，怎么可能跟丢了？ Don't tell me that. You can't lose him!
这比你想的难好咩？菲尔 This is so much harder than you realize, Phil.
我只是个看牙的 I'm just a dentist!
才不，斯图，你他妈的是个医生，接着跟 No, Stu, you're a fucking doctor. Now go get him.
他他妈的去哪了？ Where the fuck did he go?
我去！ Fuck me!
当初真得好好想想 I should have thought this through!
操！ Shit!
滚开！ Move!
斯图？ Stu?
- 周？ - 快停车！ - Chow? - Stop the fucking car!
- 斯图 - 停不了，踏板卡住了 - Stu. - I can't! The pedal is stuck!
- 啥？ - 斯图？ - What? - Stu?
- 我看不到了！ - 快停车，王八蛋！ - I can't see! - Stop, motherfucker!
- 拿开你的伞！ - 停车！ - Get off! - Pull over!
听不了了！ It won't stop!
滚开！ Get off the car!
我什么都看不到！ I can't see anything!
哈哈哈，我们要同归于尽了 Ha-ha-ha. We're gonna die finally.
我去 Holy shit.
斯图？怎么了？ Stu? Stu, what happened?
斯图，怎么了？ Stu, what's going on?
出事了，周要死了 We had an accident, and I think he's dead.
啥，啥？ Wait, what?
我想我杀了他 I think I killed him.
我去 Holy shit.
他不动了 He's not moving.
操 Oh, fuck.
周？ Mr. Chow?
周？ Chow.
斯图？ Stuart?
他活着，他没事 He's alive. He's okay.
太好了 Oh, great.
把他放上车然后来找我们 Put him in the limo and come get us. We'll meet you at valet.
好，好 Yeah, okay.
斯图 Stu.
刚才真是赞爆了，哈？ That was some ride, huh, pal?
那是 Yeah, it was pretty wild.
我要死了 I can't feel my nuts.
你摸摸我的蛋看它们还好吗？ Would you rub them and make sure they okay?
别闹了，莱斯利 It's over, Leslie.
等等 Wait.
我们可以谈谈 Let's make a deal.
想让我帮你吹咩？ Want Chow to blow your dick?
别闹了，斯图 Come on, Stu.
我会把你吹的爽爽的 I could be a good wife to you.
- 谈个屁 - 等等！ - No more deals. - No, wait!
把袋子放到后座上 Let's put the bags in the back seat.
后备箱有东西了 Trunk's full.
嘿，我现在好多了 Hey, guys? I'm feeling better now.
好，下个路口出去 All right, it's the next exit,
直着开4英里进入沙漠 then four miles straight into the desert.
听着： Tell you what:
让我出去，金子咱们分了 大家都爽 Let me out, we split the gold four ways. Everyone wins.
马歇尔会杀了我的 Marshall gonna kill me!
你们都是帮凶！ My blood will be on your hands!
我做鬼都不会放过你的，斯图 You want Chow's ghost haunting you for rest of your life, Stu?
挂你头上看着你和你老婆啪啪啪 Floating over you while you make fuck on your wife?
他不会的杀你的，周！ He's not gonna kill you, Chow!
他只想要他的金子！ He just wants his gold back!
金子没了 It's gone.
我在曼谷花掉了2千万 I blew the first 2O million in Bangkok.
所以我才回来要剩下的 That's why I had to get the other half.
够了，周！都结束了！ Enough, Chow! It's over!
你们王八蛋！ You motherfucker!
我要死不了你们就完蛋了！ When I get out of this, I'm gonna rip out your fucking lungs!
听到吗？你们完蛋了，完蛋了！ You hear me? You're dead! You're all dead!
我不是这意思 I didn't mean that.
我有时会发飙 Chow loses temper sometimes.
求你了，我需要帮助 Please. I need help.
我知道 I know that now.
那个路口出 That's the exit.
他们到了 They're here.
艾伦，他们来了，把周拿出来 Alan, they're coming, grab the last bag.
求你了，艾伦 Please, Alan.
道格！ Doug!
离那袋子远点 Step away from the bags. Let's go!
没事了吧？ We good?
- 都在那里，我保证 - 不全是 - It's all there. I promise. - Not exactly.
原来那一半呢？ I'm still missing the original half.
我们只找到这些@ But, no, that's all we have.
周说那一半他全花了 Chow said he blew the other half in Bangkok.
他人呢？ Where is he?
车里 He's in the trunk.
一手交钱一手交货 Deal's a deal.
- 道格 - 钥匙给我 - Doug. - Give me the keys.
你们要对周做什么？ What are you gonna do with Chow?
只是聊聊 I just wanna talk to him.
滚开 Move.
你还好吗？ You all right?
搞什么？ What the fuck?
没得聊了 End of conversation.
你为什么这么做？ Why would you do that?
莱斯利·周是条疯狗 Leslie Chow is madness.
疯狗不会说话的 You don't talk to madness.
如果够幸运 If you're lucky,
你们把疯狗困在车里然后杀了它 you trap it in the trunk of your limo and you kill it.
就是做了一件大好事 You did a great thing tonight.
你们应该感到开心 You should feel good about this.
搞什么？你觉得这好玩咩？ What the fuck? You think this is a fucking game?
不，不，不！ Don't, don't, don't!
操！ Oh, shit!
哈哈哈，王八蛋们 Toodle-loo, motherfuckers.
周 Chow.
周，周，等等 Chow. Chow, wait.
现在你们想聊了哈？ Oh, now you wanna talk, blue eyes?
想理我了哈？ No more silent treatment?
莱斯利，不要 Leslie. No.
你别管，肥仔 Stay out of this, fatty.
不要，莱斯利 No, Leslie.
你要射菲尔，就得先射我 You shoot Phil, you gotta go through me.
啥？ What?
- 艾伦 - 别吵 - Alan. - Quiet.
我在和他对视 I'm in a stare-off.
今天你们不死 Today you all live.
是我给艾伦面子 Because one of you was a friend.
艾伦，你操嘛了？ Alan, what did you do?
我把后座和后备箱的闩打开了 I unlocked the latch between the back seat and the trunk.
还给了他把枪？ And left him his gun?
是啊，我一路上都没想到 Yeah, I didn't think it all the way through.
他给了老周一个机会 He gave Chow a fighting chance.
这正是我想要的 That's all I ever need.
死肥猪 Fat fuck.
不容易啊，是不是？ It's never easy, is it?
没人想看见这样 No one wants to see that.
除了我，我天生是个坏蛋 Except for me, but I was born bad.
等等，我有东西给你 Hold on. I have something for you.
因为你对我好 For your loyalty.
不，我不想要这些，周先生 Oh, no, I don't want this, Mr. Chow.
那好，还回来吧 快点 Okay, give it back, then. Come on.
快点，别让斯图知道 Quick! Before Stu smells it.
我也不想要 I don't want it either, Chow.
别闹了，人还能不为财死？ Oh, please. Like a squirrel doesn't want a nut.
那他一定是个犹太人 It funny because he's Jewish.
你懂吗？ Don't you get it?
操 Goddamn it.
好吧，都走吧 Okay, go on. Get out of here, all of you.
回头我还会联系你的 Hey, chubster, I'll call you in a week. We'll get together.
别了，莱斯利，我不带你玩了 No, Leslie, we can't be friends anymore.
啥？ What?
你一点都不健康 You're not good for me. It's not healthy.
艾伦，你在想什么？ Alan, you're not thinking straight.
明天再聊吧 Let's just talk tomorrow.
莱斯利，你是我见过的最酷最赞的人 Leslie, you're one of the coolest and nicest guys I've ever met.
你很聪明 And you're smart
很有趣，大家都爱你 and you're funny and everybody loves you.
什么意思？ Alan. What is this?
我们要在一起 When we get together,
事情就变坏了，还有人会死 bad things happen and people get hurt.
说的没错啊 好玩嘛 Yeah, that's the point. It's funny.
我这一辈子得做出一些改变 Well, I've gotta make some changes in my life,
这就是其中之一 and this is one of them.
对不起 I'm sorry.
后会有期，莱斯利·周 Farewell, Leslie Chow.
你们真冷酷 You're cold as ice.
完了 Shotgun.
大家还好？ Everybody okay?
嗯 Yeah.
艾伦，你呢？ Alan, you okay?
嗯 Yeah.
好的，回家吧 Good. Let's go home.
老天爷 Jesus Christ.
知道吗？ You know what, guys?
我得去处理点私人事务 You can go ahead without me. There's something I need to do.
知道怎么回家咩？ Do you even know how to get home?
当然，我不小了 Of course I do. I'm a grown man.
会问路人的 I'll ask a stranger.
祝你好运，艾伦 Good luck, Alan.
回头见 We'll see you soon.
你知不知道离这里几个街区… Did you know that just a couple blocks from here...
有个地方看起来很像法国巴黎？ there's a place that looks exactly like Paris, France?
我记不起来那里叫什么了 I can't remember what it's called,
但应该是非常壮观的 but it's supposed to be magnificent.
那里叫巴黎赌场旅馆 It's called Paris Hotel and Casino,
确实壮观 and it is magnificent.
没错 Yeah, that's it.
我想请你去那吃晚餐 今晚 Well, I'd like to take you to dinner there. Tonight.
哦，抱歉 不行 Oh, sorry. No can do.
好吧… Oh, well...
我这辈子不能再去赌场了 I'm banned from the casino for life.
外加10年 Plus 10 years.
上次我妈过生日我带她去那儿 I took Mom there for her birthday,
玩了21点 played a little blackjack.
她分了两张10分的牌 She split 10s.
我反应过度了 I may have overreacted.
他们说这有点虐待老年人的意思 They said it was abuse of an elderly.
我也这么做过 I've done that.
是吗？无所谓了 Right? Whatever.
我不能再回去了 I can't go back there.
但是，呃… But, uh...
金砖赌场有最棒的羊排，如果… Golden Nugget has the best prime rib in town, if that's...
听起来很赞 Well, that sounds glorious.
8点见 I'll send for you at 8:00.
就这样？ Is that it?
我在黄片里见过这一幕 I saw it once in a pornography.
不错的姿势 It's a nice gesture.
可或许我们该等等 But maybe we should wait.
好吧，好吧 Okay. Yeah, yeah.
8点见 I'll see you at 8.
你看起来真不错，艾伦 You look great, Alan.
戴不戴帽子？ What do you think? Hat or no hat?
- 帽子得戴 - 好 - Hat. For sure. - Oh, yeah. Okay.
这是？ Who's this guy?
穿背心的现在拿起了手杖？爱死它了 The vest and the cane? I love it.
谢谢你，卡西给我挑的 Thank you. Cassie picked it out for me.
你看起来像花生米 You look like Mr. Peanut.
我知道，这是我一直努力的方向 Yeah, I know, right? That's what I was going for.
- 还是别了吧 - 耶 - Maybe we'll just lose it. - Yeah.
嘿，艾伦，我刚跟卡西聊过 Hey, Alan, I was just talking to Cassie.
她是个很棒的女人 She's an amazing woman.
谢谢你这么说 她确实很棒 Oh, thank you for saying that. She is an amazing woman.
我觉得她比你老婆棒多了 I find her much better than your wives.
不错哦 That's sweet.
这提醒我了 Which reminds me.
呃，咱们得谈谈 道格？ Um, we need to talk. Doug?
好吧，我听着呢 All right, listen, fellas.
现在我要结婚了 Now that I'm getting married,
我得多花时间在我那位身上了 I'm gonna be spending a lot more time with Cassandra.
是啊 就该这样 Yeah. It's the way it should be.
不，你先别说话，菲尔，好吗？ No, you slow your roll, Phil, okay?
我还有话说 There's more.
而且你不会喜欢我接下来要说的 And you're not gonna like this part.
我不再是狼友了 I must resign from the wolf pack.
哇哦，这可是件大事，艾伦 Wow, that's a big step, Alan.
我知道 I know.
她是我的灵魂伴侣 But she's my soul mate.
和我新的最好的朋友 And my new best friend.
还有，她还能让我骑她… Plus, she lets me mount her...
这让我感觉轻松多了 which relaxes me.
天啊 Oh, my God.
这话就不要说了，艾伦 Alan, maybe never say that part again.
放松，道格，都不小了 Chillax, Doug, we're all adults here.
我知道你也骑过我姐 I know you mount my sister.
我见过的 好几次呢 I've seen it. Many times.
啥？ What?
艾伦，你是最棒的 Alan, you are the best.
关键是 The point is:
你们就别管我了 You need to let me go.
尤其是你 You in particular.
我不能再罩着你了 I can't be your hero anymore.
好吧，好吧 Okay. Sure.
说了这么多… Having said all that...
我还是想每周二咱聚在一起打保龄球 I still would like to get together on Tuesdays for bowling...
每隔一个周六去大闹一场 and alternating Sundays for general horseplay.
别定时间了，不如随意发挥吧？ How about we play all that by ear?
是时候了，艾伦 Alan, it's time.
走吧 Here we go.
准备好了？ Ready?
好了 I'm ready.
搞什么？ What the fuck?
天啊 Oh, my God.
你们 You guys.
我们太疯狂了 We're so crazy.
我穿着女人的内衣 I'm wearing women's underwear.
天啊 Oh, my God.
斯图，别怕，往下看 Stu, don't freak out, but you need to look down.
啥？ What?
天啊 Oh, my God!
操！ Oh, fuck!
哥有胸啦！ I have boobies now!
我去！ Holy shit!
这一点都不好笑 It's not funny!
艾伦，你操啥了？ Alan, what did you do?
你操啥了，艾伦？ What did you do, Alan?
结婚蛋糕 The wedding cake.
是莱斯利送的 It was from Leslie.
天啊 Oh, my God.
一夜疯癫哈，贱人们 We had a sick night, bitches.