2030年
孩子们 巴尼的妈妈有一件 Kids, Barney's mom had this blouse
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她超级喜欢的衬衣 that she absolutely loved,
但是玩纸牌游戏时被罗宾赢去了 but then Robin won it in a poker game,
于是导致了一些小尴尬 which led to some slight awkwardness.
你虽然初战告捷...但最后的胜利肯定是我 You won the battle... but I'll win the war.
放马过来吧 贱人 Game on, bitch.
周五 上午9点
求你了 妈妈 我需要你冷静一点 Please, Mom, I need you to just be cool.
婚礼前33小时
好吗 为了我 可以吗 Okay, can you do that for me?
为了你 可以 For you, yes.
那为了罗宾呢 And for Robin?
33小时后她会成为你的女儿了 She's gonna be your daughter in 33 hours.
是儿媳妇 Daughter in law.
英语中儿媳妇字面意思是法律上的女儿
所以说 如果你 Making it illegal
不把她当女儿看 就是在犯法哟 for you not to treat her like a daughter.
结案 法定女儿 In-lawyered.
求你了 妈妈 Please, Mom.
罗宾只想把所有的事都抛在脑后 All Robin wants to do is put this whole thing behind her
这样她才能在婚后 让这位美男在她身后肆意驰骋 so she can get married and put this whole thing behind her.
啊 来个"快点搞定这事儿我们才能 Ah! Get-this-over-with-quickly so-we-can
跳过我刚刚这段话造成的尴尬之击掌" move-past-how-awkward-it-was that-I-just-said-that five!
好吧 要是罗宾想跟我和解 Fine. If Robin's ready to bury the hatchet,
那我就考虑跟她和解 then I guess I'm ready to bury the hatchet.
早啊 贱人们 我的新衬衣漂亮不 Morning, bitches. Like my new blouse?
-我次奥尼玛 -不要啊 妈妈 -Oh, hell, no! -No, Mom. Mom!
喂 喂 喂 喂 Hey, hey, hey, hey!
老爸 老妈 浪漫史 第九季 第八集 S09E08 The Lighthouse
翻译: @大仓粽子 @kellermanx @Mr_Gao703 @毒舌的吊儿郎当 @阿狸小H @晒小花 校对+时间轴: @阿狸小H @晒小花
统筹+后期+压制 独守空房鸭梨巨大小花花呼唤两年以来首次缺席肉鸭鸭
HIMYM字幕组 倾情奉献
孩子们 在远汉普顿旅馆的不远处 Kids, not far from the Farhampton Inn,
有一座灯塔 there's a lighthouse.
那里是一个很特别的地方 It's a really special place,
这天早上我想一个人去看看 and that morning I wanted to see it for myself.
不过只有一个问题 There was just one problem.
听着 对不起 泰德 可是 Look, I'm sorry, Ted, but-but
我不能真心诚意地让一个像你这样的孤家寡人 I can't in good faith send a lonely guy like yourself
去那么浪漫的塔顶 to the top of a very romantic,
而且 重点是那灯塔很高的 and more to the point, a very tall lighthouse.
( ⊙ o ⊙ )
(ㄒoㄒ)
我不想让我的双手上沾满你的鲜血 I don't want your blood on my hands,
我就是说的这么直白了 因为到时候还得靠我去... and I mean that literally, because it would be my job to...
冲洗那些石砖 to hose down the rocks.
这天晚上早一些的时候 Now, late the night before,
托马修旅行同伴达芙妮的福 thanks to Marshall's travel companion, Daphne,
莉莉接到了让她心神不宁的消息 Lily had received some unsettling news.
我要去当法官了 I'm gonna be a judge.
这毁了他们搬去意大利的整个计划 Screwing up their whole plan to move to Italy.
她很不高兴 She wasn't happy.
没错 我心情糟透了 Yes, I'm in a rotten mood.
别吵 我不想说这个了 No, I don't want to talk about it.
是的 我要不醉不归 Yes, this has booze in it.
不是 又不是第一次了 No, it's not my first.
你想把早午餐变成醉午餐吗 You want to make this brunch a drunch?
你喝吧 我才不会多加评论的 You do you, I'm not gonna judge.
judge双关评论和法官
我要去当法官 I'm gonna be a judge.
法官 Judge.
谢谢呐 莱纳斯 Thank you, Linus.
说到马修和达芙妮 As for Marshall and Daphne,
他们遇到了大风暴 they got caught in that big storm.
幸运的是 他们有地方过夜 Luckily, they had a place to crash for the night.
我的故乡 My childhood home.
欢迎来到克利夫兰 泰德•莫斯比的出生地
好吧 那块牌子大概是没有的 Okay, that sign might not have been there.
非常感谢你收留我们过夜 莫斯比夫人 Thank you so much for letting us stay the night, Mrs. Mosby.
噢 这是我们的荣幸 Oh, it's our pleasure.
我很高兴风暴已经过去了 I'm just glad that storm has passed.
但是还有一个风暴没过去 But there's one storm that hasn't passed,
对不对呀 马修 isn't there, Marshall?
嘿 克林特 Hey, Clint.
你知道我说的是什么 是吧 马修 You know what I'm talking about, don't you, Marshall?
我说的就是这场持续的狂风暴雨 I'm talking about the one that's been raining
不断袭击着这段...友谊 cats and dogs all over this-this, this friendship.
我们之间可不是友谊 This isn't a friendship.
噢 Oh.
干得漂亮 Nice.
我们只是不得已才凑在一起的旅行同伴 We're reluctant travel companions.
噢 你还不知道呢吧 Well, little known fact about me.
我可是差点就从 I'm an almost-graduate
凯霍加社区学院的冲突解决专业毕业了呢 of the Conflict Resolution program over at... at Tri-C.
Tri-C 俄亥俄州 凯霍加社区学院
我还在范阿肯购物中心做了练习呢 I even had my own practice at Van Aken Plaza
在经理温迪来制止我乱拱摊位之前 before the manager of the Wendy's made me stop hogging the booth.
重点在于 我有办法解决这事儿 The point is, I can fix this.
噢 我不知道 克林特 Oh, I don't know, Clint.
* 要解决冲突 * Gonna resolve some conflicts
* 要加深理解 * Gonna make a deeper understanding
* 要通过调解 * Through mediation
好了 知道吗 我们要上路了 Okay, you know what? We have to hit the road.
那个 莫斯比夫人 我能把这个马克杯带走吗 But, um, Mrs. Mosby, do you mind if I take this mug?
我真的很想在下次见到泰德时取笑一下他 I would very much like to make fun of Ted next time I see him.
泰德无敌赞
当然可以 Of course.
你知道 泰德七岁的时候 You know, when Ted was seven,
他和他最好的伙伴在基伍加湖 he and his best friend took this Wild West photo
基伍加湖 美国俄亥俄州的游乐场
拍了这张西大荒的照片 together at Geauga Lake.
我还能找到这照片呢 I could go look for it.
我们真的该走了 We really should get going.
他最好的伙伴是个气球 His best friend was a balloon.
再等几分钟怎么样 What's a few more minutes?
好的 这事太喜闻乐见了 Yeah, you're gonna want that.
那...大家今天早上都在干嘛 So... what's everyone doing this morning?
噢 我有点想打网球 Oh, well, I kind of feel like playing some tennis.
也许我们可以预定一下场地 Maybe we should reserve a court.
court双关场地和法院
法院 Court.
谢谢呐 莱纳斯 Thank you, Linus.
吃煎饼鸡蛋呢 罗宾 Pancakes and eggs, Robin?
那衬衣不要被你撑得太宽太松才好 I guess that blouse won't be loose and flowy for long.
妈妈... Mom...
接着说啊 洛蕾塔 Keep talking, Loretta.
我已经等了一个早上... I've been waiting all morning to...
来跟你聊聊天了 ketchup.
原意为"番茄酱" 谐音"catch up"
哎呀 Oops.
你不应该把番茄酱放在炒鸡蛋上的 You're not supposed to put ketchup on scrambled eggs.
没错 洛蕾塔 因为 Right, Loretta, because
你在蛋这方面可是皇后啊 you're the queen of scrambled eggs.
双关炒鸡蛋和抓蛋蛋
其实 她还真的是 Actually, that's exactly what she is.
70年代的时候 妈妈还是个追星族 When Mom was a groupie in the '70s,
她做的炒鸡蛋使她成为了味精装货码头的宠儿 her scrambled eggs made her the darling of the MSG loading dock.
有很多歌都是唱炒鸡蛋的 Lot of songs written about those scrambled eggs.
ZZ托普的"她有双腿" ZZ Top's "She's Got Legs"
ZZ Top 1970年成立于美国得克萨斯州怕索市
出自"她有鸡蛋" Originally "She's Got Eggs."
雷德•泽普林乐队 Led Zeppelin?
Led Zeppelin: 英国的重金属乐队
"攀爬吧" "Scramble On."
炒鸡蛋的scramble-炒 还有攀爬的意思
史蒂夫•米勒乐队 Steve Miller?
Steve Miller: 1966年成立于加利福尼亚州旧金山的蓝调摇滚乐队
"蛋黄" "The Yolker."
如果你听平克•弗洛伊德乐队的"月球的黑暗面" If you listen to Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon
Pink Floyd 英国摇滚乐队
吃着她的蛋 完美契合 while eating her eggs, it lines up perfectly.
那我肯定你妈妈用的是自己的"厨技" While I'm sure it was your mother's cooking skills
让她在这些明星中间这么受欢迎的 that made her so popular with Zed Zed Top and their ilk,
我知道事实上 I know for a fact
她做不出最好的炒鸡蛋 that she does not make the best scrambled eggs.
因为我妈做的炒蛋才是最好的 Because my mom makes the best scrambled eggs.
孩子们 在那时我认识你们的罗宾阿姨 Kids, we've known your Aunt Robin
已经有八年了 for eight years at that point,
而关于她的母亲我们只知道这些 and here's what we knew about her mom.
我妈害怕坐飞机 My mom is terrified of flying.
害怕坐飞机
我妈被水母蛰伤过 My mom got stung by a jellyfish.
被水母蛰伤过
我妈做的炒蛋是世界上最好的 My mom makes the best scrambled eggs.
做出世界上最好的炒蛋
然后... 这就是全部了 And... that's everything.
事实上 她应该马上就到了 In fact, she should be here any minute.
巴尼 Barney,
也许她能给你做些真真正正的炒蛋 maybe she can cook you some real scrambled eggs
你才知道你错过了些什么 so you can see what you've been missing.
别这样 罗宾 这场炒蛋对决你赢不了啊 Don't do this, Robin. You can't win the egg war.
加拿大炒蛋 真少见啊 Canadian scrambled eggs, how quaint.
你妈做的炒蛋会加枫糖浆吗 Does your mom put maple syrup on them?
哈 哈 哈 大家都很友善嘛 Ha, ha, ha, this is all very friendly.
快退出这场战争吧 Get out of this now.
为什么不呢 我们在别的东西上也会放枫糖浆的 Why not? We put maple syrup on everything else.
啊 Aw.
老娘受够了 That's it!
给我们上一个你们的煎蛋台 We need your omelet station.
我儿子的未婚妻马上就能吃到 My son's fiancee is about to get served...
一些美味的煎蛋了 some delicious scrambled eggs.
或者我可以出去走到马路上吃点碎石子 Or I could go out to the driveway and eat some gravel.
等等 抱歉 你刚才说的是碎石子还是小木槌 Wait. Sorry. Did you say gravel or gavel?
碎石子 我为啥要说小木槌 Gravel. Why would I say gavel?
小木槌 Gavel.
多谢呐 莱纳斯 Thank you, Linus.
柯蒂斯 可不可以请给我一份灯塔的地图啊 Curtis, can I please have a map to the lighthouse?
那是个非常浪漫的灯塔 It's a very romantic lighthouse.
我拿个地图都不行吗 I can't even have a map?
那是个非常浪漫的地图 It's a very romantic map.
我不能让你连个伴都没有就自己去 I can't let you go without a date.
等一下 等一下 Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
-那个叫卡茜女孩怎么了 -卡茜 -What happened to that girl Cassie? -Cassie?
卡茜是那个前一天我花了 Cassie was the girl I'd spent
整整一夜去安慰的女孩 the entire previous night consoling.
仅仅是安慰而已 Just consoling.
那个 那个已经不可能了 Yeah, that's not happening.
接下来 正在怒火中烧的 And then, in her anger,
莉莉给了我一个建议 Lily gave me a piece of advice
对此之后她肯定会说 about which she would later say...
噢 娘啊 那真不是什么好主意 Oh, doggy, that was some bad advice.
好吧 这就是为什么你是个白痴 Okay, here's why you're an idiot.
你觉得卡茜有魅力吗 Did you find Cassie attractive?
-我觉得有吧 -你觉得她的身高还相对正常吧 -I guess. -Is she a relatively normal height?
-是啊 -那你就赶紧和她在一起吧 -Yeah. -So end up with her already.
上帝啊 你真的认为 God, do you really think
你最后能找到一个完美的女孩 that you're gonna find some perfect girl
能完完全全符合你要求的每一项吗 who checks off every item on your list?
也不是全部每一项啦 Well, not every item.
我是说 她可以不必像我一样对硬币很痴迷 I mean, she doesn't have to share my love for coins.
但我真心希望 哪怕只有一次 Although it would be nice, just once,
能不是独自一人去看硬币展 not to have to go stag to Coin-Con.
把你的脑袋从菊花里拿出来使使行吗 莫斯比 Pull your head out of your ass, Mosby.
你觉得马修总是能让我开心吗 Do you think Marshall always makes me happy?
我的意思是 有时候跟他在一起真的很煎熬 I mean, sometimes being with him is a real trial.
trial字面意思为审讯
审讯 Trial.
哼 Huh.
这次是我自己造成的啊 Did it to myself that time.
听着 泰德 是时候屈就一点了 Look, Ted, it's time to settle.
带着这个正常大小的小妞去灯塔 Take this normal-sized chick up to the lighthouse
然后爱上她 and fall in love with her
然后别再因为你的那些愚蠢的爱情经历打扰我们了 and quit bothering us with your dumb love life stuff.
上帝啊 我真是受够了自己比谁都聪明 God, I am so sick of being smarter than everyone else.
你开始偷懒了啊 莱纳斯 You're slipping, Linus.
我们的杯子快没了 We're running out of glasses.
你想和我一起去那破灯塔吗 Do you want to just go to the stupid lighthouse?
噢 狗来了 Ooh, zitch dog.
捷达车里的可卡犬 Cocker spaniel in the Jetta.
现在是马修•埃里克森28分 That's Marshall Eriksen-- 28,
达芙妮0分 Daphne-- zero.
我第28次告诉你 For the 28th time,
老娘不跟你玩这个二逼游戏 I'm not playing your stupid game!
二逼 呃 Oh, stupid, huh?
非常好 That's great.
看来达芙妮不但有权选歌 I guess Daphne gets to pick the music
还能诋毁我那好玩的公路游戏 and crap all over my fun road-trip games.
也许克林特是对的 You know, maybe Clint was right.
我们或许是该解决一下冲突了 Maybe we do need conflict resolution.
我就知道你们会觉悟的 I knew you guys would come around.
我决定去屈就一下自己 接受卡茜 And so I made up my mind to settle for Cassie.
那么 你喜欢哪种音乐呢 So, um, what kind of music do you like?
呃 哪种都不喜欢 Hmm... nothing.
不过呢 我仍然很乐观 Still, I felt optimistic.
毕竟 卡茜可爱又单身 After all, Cassie was cute and single
再说了 又不是说宇宙在告诉我们 and heck, it's not like the universe was telling us
我们不该在一起 we shouldn't be together.
做好了 好好品尝 Here we are. Enjoy.
老婆开心 日子顺心 happy wife, happy life.
假装她们很友好 Pretend they're just okay.
拜托 莉莉 我觉得我可以... Please, Lily, I think I can manage to...
噢 我的天 Oh, my God.
我又回到八岁了 I'm eight years old again,
生活如此美好 and life is perfect,
而且我没有在西佛吉尼亚州慧灵市的 and I haven't peed my shorts in front of 350 Webelos
松木德比区当着350个童子军尿裤子 at the Pinewood Derby Regionals in Wheeling, West Virginia.
对不住了 罗宾 I'm sorry, Robin.
莉莉 你觉得如何 What do you think, Lily?
噢 天啊 真是太美味了 Oh, my God, they are so delicious.
比发现巴尼在西弗吉尼亚州慧灵市的 Even more delicious than finding out Barney peed himself
松木德比区尿裤子还美味 at the Pinewood Derby Regionals in Wheeling, West Virginia.
对不住了 罗宾 I'm sorry, Robin.
-嗯 -不是吧 -Mmm. -Come on,
没那么夸张吧 they can't be that good.
噢 Oh!
打扰一下 斯丁森夫人 我们的一些客人 Excuse me, Mrs. Stinson, some of our guests
闻到了你的炒鸡蛋 smelled your scrambled eggs and were wondering
想问问您是否愿意给他们也做一些 if you could make some for them as well.
哦 我觉得我不该... Oh, I don't think I should...
炒蛋×6 Eggs! Eggs! Eggs! Eggs! Eggs! Eggs!
克林特 你在这里干嘛 Clint, what are you doing here?
我来做那件俄亥俄州的医疗保健董事会已经反复告知 What the Ohio State Board of Holistic Medicine has repeatedly
我已没有资格继续做下去的 我的工作 told me I'm in no way qualified to do: my job.
只要我看见有冲突需要和解 我就不能不管 When I see a conflict needs resolving, I must act.
此外 还因为泰德的妈妈想把我赶出来 Plus, Ted's mom wanted me out of the house.
所以 今天我们就来建立一个 So, today, we're gonna build a new paradigm
理解的典范 of understanding,
然后你把我载到夏克海茨去 and then you're gonna swoop me on back to Shaker Heights.
我还要去一趟考文垂的里科德里夫 Oh, I need to stop at Record Rev on Coventry.
我的喷雾器做好了 My vaporizer's ready.
马修 停车把这个二货丢路边去吧 Marshall, pull over and dump this hippie on the side of the road.
我做不到 I can't do that.
* 要解决冲突 * Gonna resolve some conflicts
达芙妮来选歌 Daphne picks the music.
* 要结束这争吵 * Gonna end this argument
* 马修和他情妇的争吵 * Between Marshall and his mistress.
-泥垢了 -达芙妮来选歌 -Oh, come on. -Daphne picks the music!
噢 煞笔赛车 Ow! Stupid racecar!
所以小孩就不该有玩具 This is why children should not have toys!
听着 也许去灯塔就不是个好主意 Look, maybe this lighthouse thing isn't such a good idea.
不 你别 No, you don't.
你承诺过的 You committed,
我也是 所以我们走吧 and so did I, so let's go.
哦 啊 嗷 Oh. Ow! Oh!
好像感觉好些了 Actually, it's feeling better.
啊 哦 没有好 Ow! Oh! No, it's not.
哦 Oh.
妈妈 我不知道你为啥关机了 Mom, I don't know why your phone is off.
可能你把充电器落在皮卡车里了 Maybe you left your charger in the pickup truck.
开一辆皮卡车
但是我希望你尽快赶来 But I need you to get here as fast possible.
我知道你到了之后大概想要 I know you're probably gonna want
先去想要洗个热水澡 to take a hot bath when you get in.
洗澡
浴缸能装下她 She fits in a bathtub.
真是个好消息 除非... That's good news. Unless...
哦 天啊 加拿大的浴缸是有多大 Oh, God, how big are Canadian bathtubs?
大概太胖了无法用传统美式浴缸
大家会排这么长的队 People ever line up
就为了吃你妈妈做的鸡蛋吗 like this for your mom's eggs?
洛蕾塔 就是我都能做得比这好吃 Loretta, even I could make better eggs than this.
哦 我很乐意你能教我 Oh, I'd love it if you'd come teach me
怎么炒鸡蛋 how to make scrambled eggs.
伙计们 这是炒蛋比赛 It's a scramble-off, everybody!
炒蛋的至死对决 A scramble-off to the death!
谁去放风防着警察 Someone go watch for the cops!
也许我们早该在定下结婚地点之前 Maybe we should have read up on this town
多了解了解这个小镇 before booking our wedding.
我们来玩这个吧 "当你...我感觉" Let's do some, "When you... I feel."
好了 比如说 All right, for example,
当你不去做信任倒时 when you don't do trust falls,
信任倒是一种拓展训练常用的团队新人游戏
我感觉你就应该做信任倒 I feel like you should do trust falls.
所以你就做那该死的信任倒吧 So just do the damn trust falls.
我开车呢 克林特 I'm driving a car, Clint.
好吧 Okay,
呃 达芙妮 每当我们经过加油站 uh, Daphne, when you say "Drill, baby, drill"
你都要说"钻啊 亲 钻啊" every time that we pass a gas station,
改自歌曲Kill, baby, kill
我觉得意义何在啊 I feel invalidated.
马修 每次你说话 我都想让你闭嘴 Marshall, when you talk, I feel shut up!
非常好 你们俩都是 That's very good, both of you.
是吗 我们俩都是吗 Really? Both of us?
说出一种比汽油好的能源 Name one energy that's better than oil.
风能 太阳能 水力发电 Wind, solar, hydroelectric.
你看出我对付的情况了吧 克林特 You see what I've been dealing with, Clint?
* 黏黏的石油啊 * The sticky petroleum clings...
求现在别唱 克林特 Please not now, Clint.
* 让鹈鹕折翼啊 * To the pelican's broken wings
* 嘿 石油商先生 你都做了啥 * Hey, Mr. Oilman, what have you done...
-停 停 停 -够了 -Stop, stop, stop, please. -Enough!
克林特 我受够了你的胡子 Clint, I'm tired of your beard
受够了你的心理治疗 and I'm tired of this stupid therapy session.
我受够了你的歌对我的儿子有通便的效果 And I'm tired of the way that your songs have a-a laxative effect on Marvin!
对我也是 每次克林特开始唱歌 And on me. Every time Clint starts singing,
-我都想去一下 -对 -I just got to go. -Yeah.
就好像 呃 你唱出来的唯一的"信任倒" It's like, uh, the only trust fall when you sing
就是我"相信"我儿子 is that I "Trust" That a piece of poop
很快就要"倒"出一波便便一样 is gonna "Fall" Out of my son's butt.
嘿 克林特 这个怎么样 Hey, Clint, how about that?
-你让我们达成了共识 -对 -You got us to agree on something. -Yeah.
我们都觉得你是个怂蛋 We both think you're a loser.
这个心理治疗奏效了诶 This therapy works.
不 No!
这根本不是治疗起作用了 That is not the way therapy works at all!
你们觉得这就是个玩笑吗 Do you think this is some kind of a joke?!
这是我的事业 This is my career!
我才不要回去训练布朗家的人呢 I will not go back to coaching the Browns!
为什么人们就不能承认我的工作呢 Why can't people take what I do seriously?!
气死我了 God!
天啊 还剩最后一阶 Oh, my God. One more.
天呐 快不行了 快扛不住了 Oh, my God. Okay. Oh, my God.
台阶还真是多 我都累坏了 God, that was a lot of stairs. I'm exhausted.
我胸膛都快烧起来了 My chest is on fire.
噢 建筑师大哥 Ooh! So, Mr. Architect,
我们现在要干嘛 what do we do now?
坠入爱河还是怎么的 Fall in love or something?
孩子们 当我站在灯塔之上 And, kids, as I stood on that lighthouse
看着面前这个女孩 我感觉到身体里有什么东西喷涌而出 and looked at that girl, I felt something happen inside me,
这种事情自从我成年以后 something that had only happened one other time
一共只发生过两次 in my entire adult life.
不就是炒鸡蛋吗 Okay, scrambled eggs.
你们且看着 Here we go.
开蛋器在哪里 Where is the egg opener?
算了不用了 我先预炒一下 Never mind. I'll pre-scramble them.
好吧 洛蕾塔 你赢了 Okay, fine, Loretta. You know what? You win.
我完全不会做鸡蛋 I don't know how to cook egg.
你要是连鸡蛋都不会炒 If you don't even know how to make scrambled eggs,
我真担心我的孙子 I just worry what kind of breakfast
能吃上什么样的早饭 you're gonna be serving my grandchildren.
那你还真是走运了 Well, lucky you
因为这件事你永远都不用担心 because that is one thing you won't ever have to worry about.
妈 罗宾生不了孩子 Mom, Robin can't have kids.
不管我干什么活 永远都要被指指点点 Every single job I take on, it's always the same!
"把咖啡机放回办公室 克林特" "The coffee maker has to stay in the office, Clint!"
"即使在休闲星期五也是要穿裤子的 克林特" "You still have to wear pants on Casual Friday, Clint!"
"我们压根没有雇你 克林特" "We didn't hire you, Clint!"
我是 我是真的 Well, God, I'm-I'm...
再也受不了了 我... I'm just sick of it. I'm si...
啊 啊 我能听到血液在咆哮 Ow. Ow. Oh, I can hear my blood right now.
我生病了 我犯血吼病了 I'm having an attack. I'm having a blood attack.
什么玩意儿 A blood attack?
快靠边停车 我现在需要冥想 Yeah. Pull over. I need... I-I need to meditate.
我得让心跳慢下来 我要... 快靠边停 I got to get my heart rate down. I'll... Ow! Pull over.
-我们现在前不着村后不着店的 -停车 -We're in the middle of nowhere. -Pull over!
狗来了 在福特富绅里的拉布拉多贵宾犬 嗷 Zitch dog, Labradoodle in a Ford Fusion! Ow!
疼... God...
罗宾生不了孩子吗 Robin can't have kids?
但是你一直想要孩子啊 But you always wanted children.
错了 我一直喜欢孩子 No, I always liked children.
我一直想要的 是内置按摩浴缸的兰博基尼 I've always wanted a Lamborghini where there's a hot tub inside.
要是真有这么一台就好了 God, I wish that existed.
那 孙子是没指望了 So no grandkids.
这件事情你知道多久了 How long have you known about this?
我去年秋天知道的 I found out last fall.
那时罗宾和我一起去市区里 Robin and I had been hanging out downtown
一家特别炫酷的秘密酒吧玩 at this very cool secret bar.
多棒的地方啊 What a lovely place!
他们的寿司真是天下第一鲜 Have you ever had sushi that fresh?
我再也不骑机械牛了 Okay, I am never getting on a mechanical bull again.
马修和莉莉来不了真可惜 I can't believe Marshall and Lily missed out.
向我保证 我们要是有了孩子 Promise me, if you ever have kids,
必须得雇一个保姆 you'll sometimes get a babysitter
偶尔出来销魂这么一夜 and come have an epic night.
对了 出门带上保姆 她听起来一样销魂 Oh, and, P.S., bring the babysitter, she sounds dirty.
其实 呃 我不能生孩子 Actually, I, uh, I can't have kids,
所以就不用担心这个了 so that's not an issue.
真的吗 Really?
真的 Yeah.
我这样抱你会不会有点奇怪 Is it weird that I'm hugging you like this?
不会 一点不奇怪 No, it's not weird.
-现在奇怪了 -嗯 下雨毁气氛啊 -Now it's weird. -Mm-hmm. Yep, the rain makes it weird.
妈 我要娶的不是将来 Mom, I'm not marrying some future possibility
组成一个家庭的可能性 of starting a family.
我要娶的是个女孩 I'm marrying a girl.
她对我的意义大于孩子 Who means more to me than kids.
大于我的事业 Or my career.
甚至大于兰博浴缸 专利申请中 Or even the Lambor-cuzzi, patent pending.
所以求你了 So please...
对她好一点好吗 ...be nice to her?
这太可笑了 This is ridiculous.
快下车去把克林特 Get out there and drag Clint's
粘在地上的大屁股拽回来 我们好继续上路 downward-facing ass back in here so we can get going.
就让他做自己的事吧 Just let him do his thing.
你知道为什么这世上的达芙妮们 Do you know why the Daphnes of the world
总是能获得选音乐权利 always get to pick the music
而马修们却要付所有的通行费吗 and the Marshalls pay all the tolls?
因为马修们总是太过忧心 Because the Marshalls are so concerned
想让每个人都去做自己的事情 with letting everybody do their thing,
而达芙妮们则会好好照顾达芙妮 and the Daphnes are taking care of Daphne.
你可以跟我扯太阳能风能还有水力啥啥啥 You can talk to me about solar or wind or hydro-whatever,
但你依然会任这个世界摆布的 马修 but the world is always gonna push you around, Marshall.
直到你学会使用核武器 Until you learn to go nuclear.
你干什么啊 What are you doing?
这不是做梦吧 Is this real?
你真的这样做了 Are you doing this?
我们需要来点儿开车音乐 We need some driving music.
不 No!
你往我的婚姻里扔下一颗活生生的炸弹 You threw a live grenade into my marriage.
你毁了我的整个世界 You screwed up my whole world.
所以从现在开始 So from now on...
我们听我的音乐 we listen to my music.
* 但我愿徒步500英里 * But I would walk 500 miles
* 接着再跋涉500英里 * And I would walk 500 more...
我讨厌这首歌 I hate this song.
耐心点儿 Give it time.
狗来了 一辆甲壳虫里的比格犬 Zitch dog, beagle in a Beetle.
别跟洛蕾塔较劲了 Don't let Loretta get to you.
嘿 等你妈妈来了之后 你想不想去... Hey, when your mom gets here, do you want to all go--
比如说...躲水母玩 I don't know-- avoid jellyfish?
她不来了 She's not coming.
什么 What?
我终于联系上她了 I finally got a hold of her.
但她 呃 没办法坐飞机 She, um, never got on the plane.
她太害怕了 She was too scared.
她不来参加自己女儿的婚礼了 She won't be at her daughter's wedding.
不来参加女儿的婚礼
如果是这样... If that is the case...
我们能跟巴尼说她是个大胖子吗 can we tell Barney she's super fat?
这对我来说十分重要 It would mean the world to me.
当然可以 Of course.
总算来了 Oh, here we go.
-听着 罗宾... -洛蕾塔 现在不是时候 -Listen, Robin... -Loretta, not now.
罗宾刚刚得知 Robin just found out
她妈妈不来参加她的婚礼了 her mom's not coming to the wedding.
哦 Oh.
呃 好吧 Well, uh, okay.
洛蕾塔 Loretta...
我的名字是妈妈 My name's Mom.
从现在起你只许这样叫我 Don't you ever call me anything else.
我是妈妈 I'm Mom.
好 Okay.
妈妈 Mom.
对不起 有时候我总是... I'm sorry. Sometimes I get...
有点太入迷 ...carried away.
对了 你做的炒蛋很好吃 Your eggs are great, by the way.
噢 娘啊 那真不是什么好主意 Oh, doggy, that was some bad advice.
谢谢啦 莉儿 Thanks, Lil.
你知道怎么最糟心吗 But you know what sucks?
当我站在灯塔顶端 When I was at the top of that lighthouse,
抛开一切的时候 despite everything else...
哇 仿佛在时间长流中回朔一般 Wow. It's like traveling back in time.
就闭上嘴吧你 Just stop talking.
多么引人入胜的美景啊 ...it was breathtaking.
却被我浪费掉了 And I wasted it.
我是说 我永远地毁掉了多少地方啊 I mean, how many places have I ruined forever
就因为带去的是错误的女孩 by being there with the wrong girl?
那就再带着正确的女孩回去吧 So come back with the right girl.
我不知道 I don't know.
我开始觉得 一个人在一生中 I'm starting to think a person gets a certain allotment
能被灯塔照耀的机会次数已被确定 of lighthouses per lifetime.
而我却已经把它们用光了 And I've used all mine up.
孩子们 说出这句话其实很可笑 And that, kids, is the kind of stupid thing you say
因为你还没有遇见 那个能触碰到重置你的世界的按钮的人 before you've met the person who hits the reset button
那个能让你的一切都焕然一新的人 on the world, who makes everything new again,
让你意识到你从前想屈就一下算了 是那么愚不可及的人 who makes it seem ridiculous that you ever considered settling,
但不到两年后的一天 because not two years later...
Try a LittleTenderness by Otis Redding
看看这景色 Look at that.
仿佛在时间长流中回朔一般 It's like traveling back in time.
跟我说过的话一字不差 That is exactly what I said.
为什么两年前和我一起来的不是你呢 Why couldn't it have been you here with me two years ago?
没来也好啊 That's probably for the best.
改编自泰坦尼克号You jump, I jump. 你跳 我也跳
你吐 我也吐 When you vomit, I vomit.
你是知道的 You know that.
嗯 谢谢你现在和我一起来 Well, thanks for being here with me now.
谢谢你带我来 Thanks for bringing me.
我去 这地方美到不科学啊 Wow. It is just bonkers beautiful here.
我都不知道你还能怎么给如此美好的今天锦上添花了 I don't know how you could improve on a day like this.
这个嘛 那我试试看 Well, I'm gonna try.
哇哦 Whoa.
你愿意... Will you...
愿意 Yes.
你都不让我... You didn't even let me...
愿意 Yes.
嫁给我吗 Marry me?
愿意 愿意 非常愿意 Yes, yes, yes, yes.
十分愿意 无比愿意 Yes, yes... yes.
* 多一点点的温柔吧 * Just try, try a little tenderness.
* 你要懂得如何爱她 * You got to know how to love her, man.
* 男人请记住我的话 * Take this advice, man.
* 记得温柔的对待她 * You got to squeeze her.
* 记得永远别辜负她 * Don't tease her.
HIMYM字幕组 谢谢观看
狗娘养的 Son of a bitch!