快到了 你干得很棒 Almost there. You're doing great.
谢谢你帮忙提升士气 Thanks for lifting my spirits.
下次还是帮着提提盒子好了 Next time, try lifting the box.
快点 Please hurry.
我不需要跑步机! I don't need a treadmill!
医生说你需要锻炼! The doctor says you need to get exercise!
我锻炼得够多了! I get plenty of exercise!
粉碎我的求生欲望不算锻炼! Crushing my will to live isn't exercise!
如果她不用 我们为什么还要搬呢? If she isn't gonna use it, then why are we doing this?
她会用的 我只需要往上面 She'll use it. All I need is to rig it
用鱼竿挂块蜜汁火腿就好 with a fishing pole and a HoneyBaked Ham.
好了 All right.
现在怎么办? Now what?
把它搬到Howie的旧房间装好 We set it up in Howie's old room.
你知道怎么装吗? Do you know how to set it up?
拜托 我是个麻省理工学院毕业的工程师 Please, I'm an MIT-trained engineer.
我觉得我能... I think I can handle...
老妈 小心! Ma, look out!
我说了 这东西会杀了我! I told you this thing would kill me!
* 宇宙一度又烫又稠密 * * Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state *
* 140亿年前终于爆了炸... 等着瞧! * * Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! *
* 地球开始降温 * * The Earth began to cool *
* 自养生物来起哄 穴居人发明工具 * * The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools *
* 我们建长城 我们建金字塔 * * We built the Wall We built the pyramids *
* 数学 自然科学 历史 揭开神秘 * * Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery *
* 一切由大爆炸开始 * * That all started with a big bang *
生活大爆炸 第七季第23集
--==圣城家园SCG字幕组 http://hd.cnscg.com/==-- 仅供翻译交流使用, 禁止用于商业用途
--==圣城家园SCG字幕组 http://hd.cnscg.com/==-- 协调：陈醋初见 时间轴：pisces夜 翻译：酱油影 红糖酥 波特妹子 陈醋初见 酱油Tracy 校对：UU解放啦!
所以她得卧床休养至少六个星期 So she's gonna be laid up for at least six weeks.
Wolowitz夫人真可怜 Poor Mrs. Wolowitz.
我们该为她做点什么? Should we do something for her?
我知道 我们去看新的蜘蛛侠电影吧 I know. Let's go see the new Spider-Man movie.
Sheldon 我们说的可是你朋友的母亲 Sheldon, we're talking about your friend's mother.
她受伤了 She got hurt.
我觉得大家都不想讨论那个话题 I thought that subject had run its course,
所以就换了一个 so I changed it.
这就叫"察言观色" Amy It's called reading the room, Amy.
嗨 Hi.
嘿 拍片顺利吗? Hey, how were things on the set?
其实还不错 Uh, pretty good, actually.
电影没你想的那么糟糕? So the movie's not as bad as you thought?
还是那么糟 Oh, no, it is,
但我决定 与其一直抱怨 but I decided, instead of complaining about it,
不如每天都去努力演 I'm just gonna go in every day and give it my all.
- 不错呀 - 谢谢 - Good for you. - Thanks.
我没理由不演个最棒的 There's no reason why I shouldn't be
慢慢转变成前所未见杀人猿的 the best bisexual go-go dancer slowly transforming
性感双性恋舞女 into a killer gorilla anyone's ever seen.
我不知道 I don't know.
辛德勒名单里的那个性感双性恋舞女 The bisexual gorilla go-go dancer in Schindler's List
演得就很棒 is tough to beat.
真不错 Ah, very good.
因为讲大屠杀的电影里头 Because a gorilla go-go dancer of any sexual preference
随便哪种性向的性感舞女根本不会出现 would be out of place in a film about the Holocaust.
你解释过更搞笑了 Sheldon It only gets funnier when you explain it, Sheldon.
我知道 I know.
好了 她在客房安顿好了 Okay, she's all settled in the guest room.
也许我们应该弄个能把她 Maybe we should get one of those machines
扛上楼的机器 to help her up the stairs.
你是说铲车? You mean a forklift?
- Howie... - 抱歉 - Howie... - I'm sorry.
我只是受不了了 I just can't deal with this right now.
受不了照顾自己的母亲? 你怎么能这么说? Taking care of your own mother? How can you say that?
Bernie 她要卧床休养六到八个星期 Bernie, she's gonna be off her feet for six to eight weeks.
你真的准备喂她吃饭 帮她洗澡 Are you prepared to feed her, wash her
抱她上厕所吗? and take her to the toilet?
- 我会为我妈妈这么做的 - 没错 你当然会 - I would do it for my mother. - Yeah, of course
因为你是个很有爱心的人 you would... you're a loving person.
我就是人们口中的"混蛋" I'm what my people would call a putz.
听着 虽然我也不是特别想照顾 Look, I'm not crazy about the idea,
但我们还有别的选择吗? but what other choice do we have?
我们请个护工 We get a nurse.
最好是第三世界国家来的 Preferably someone from a Third World country
她已经习惯折磨和难闻的气味了 who's used to suffering and unpleasant smells.
你宁愿雇一个陌生人 You'd hire a total stranger
来照顾把你拉扯大的母亲? to take care of the woman who raised you?
这太残忍了 That's so cruel.
如果我们付护工高薪 Not if we pay them well
还让她听家乡音乐 就不残忍了 and let them listen to the music of their homeland.
我要嘘嘘! I need to tinkle!
听着就像爱心人士干的活 Sounds like a job for a loving person.
你扶她去厕所的时候 Would you like me to play some Polish music
要不要帮你放点波兰音乐? while you carry her to the toilet?
你真是个混蛋 You are a putz.
如假包换 As advertised.
谢谢你陪我来 Thanks for coming with me.
谢谢你在大家都拒绝之后才来邀请我 Thanks for inviting me after everyone else said no.
你不拿一副3D眼镜吗? Aren't you gonna get 3-D glasses?
我自己带了 I brought my own.
可不想冒险得鼻梁疱疹 No sense in risking bridge-of-nose herpes.
真有这种病? Is that a real thing?
他们发明出来鼻子避孕套之前 Well, until they invent nose condoms,
我还不打算研究这个问题 I'm not finding out.
Emily! 嘿! Emily! Hey!
哦 嗨 Raj Oh, hey, Raj.
这是我的朋友 Sheldon Uh, this is my friend, Sheldon.
Sheldon 这就是Emily Sheldon, this is Emily.
哦 你是个皮肤科医生对吧 Oh, yes, you're the dermatologist.
我昨天出去散步的时候没涂防晒霜 I went for a walk yesterday without sunscreen.
你看我额头上有没有什么 Do you see anything on my forehead
应该引起我注意的症状? that I should be concerned about?
呃 我该走了 Um, you know what? I better go.
电影马上就开始了 My movie's about to start.
你是自己来的吗? Are you here alone?
其实... 不是 No, not really.
你说"不是"是什么意思? What do you mean, "not really"?
嘿 我们进去找个座位吧 Hey, should we get our seats?
好 Yeah.
见到你很开心 我晚点打电话给你吧 It was nice seeing you. Um, I'll call you later.
好吧 Yeah, okay.
刚刚有点尴尬 对吧? That was awkward, right?
是啊 Uh-huh.
是因为她正在跟你约会 Is it because she's dating you
- 却和另外一个人出来玩吗? - 是啊 - but was out with that other fellow? - Yes.
太好了 我还以为她在我额头上看到了什么 Good. I thought she saw something on my forehead.
准备... 开拍 And... action.
求求你不要赶我走 Please don't shut me out.
走开 Go away.
快走开 Just go away.
我保证会找到让你恢复的办法的 I swear, I will find a way to turn you back.
谁给你的权力 把我的基因 What gave you the right
和大猩猩杀人狂混合在一起? to mix my DNA with that of a killer gorilla?
我是想救你的 I was trying to save your life.
救我? 什么叫救我? 看看我现在的样子! 我就是个怪兽! Life? What life? Look at me! I'm a monster!
现在我手上沾了鲜血 或者说是爪子上 And now I have blood on my hands, or paws. I don't know.
你不能放弃 我爱你 You can't give up. I love you.
我也爱你 I love you, too.
但我恐怕更爱杀人 But I'm afraid I love killing more.
没准哪天 我就该试着杀死你了 Like, one day, I might actually try and kill you!
卡... 好了 And... cut. All right.
准备下个场景吧 All right, let's set up for the next scene.
等一下 我们能再来一条吗? Actually, you know what? Can we do one more?
我觉得我能演的更好一点 I think I could do it better.
咱们继续吧 没人会在乎的 Let's just move on. No one cares.
我在乎啊 Well, I care. I mean, look,
既然我们要做这部电影 为什么不做到 if we're gonna do this, why not try and make it
让我们自己感到骄傲呢? something we're actually proud of?
听着 宝贝 Look, sweetie,
这部电影特别垃圾 this movie is garbage,
不过你应该为此感到高兴 but you should be happy about that,
因为要是个好电影的话 你也不可能参演了 'cause if it was a good movie, you wouldn't be in it.
嘿 嘿 等一下 Whoa, whoa, hang on.
你也没必要损她吧 There's no need to insult her.
你又是谁? And who are you?
她男朋友 I'm her boyfriend.
她配你是不是有点浪费了? Isn't she too hot for you?
算是有点吧 A little, yeah.
你赶快离开我的片场 Well, boyfriend, get off my set.
不行 他是我的人 You can't do that. He's with me.
知道吗? 你也可以离开片场了 你被开除了 You know what? You can get off my set, too. You're fired.
什么? 你不能开除我 我是明星啊 What? You can't fire me. I'm the star.
我是疯女孩啊 海报上就是这样的 I'm the girl that goes bananas. It says so on the poster.
是啊 不过我们刚刚拍完了你露脸的镜头 Yeah, but we just shot the last scene where we see your face.
所以从现在开始 谁戴着面具都可以是明星 So from now on, the star of the movie is whoever wears this.
嘿 你要是想开除她的话 Hey, if you're gonna fire her,
那我也不干了 then you have to fire me, too.
哇 真没想到他真的把咱们都炒了 Wow, that fell apart really fast.
谢谢你让我提前出来了 Thanks for skipping the movie.
我没办法在那个电影院坐两个小时 I couldn't sit in that theater for two hours
我脑子里全是Emily和那个家伙 wondering about Emily and that guy.
哦 没事的 Oh, quite all right.
自从开始害怕额头上会长黑色素瘤 After my forehead melanoma scare,
我就学会了不为小事紧张出汗了 I've learned not to sweat the small stuff.
不好意思 Well, sorry,
我没有做印度茶的材料 I don't have all the ingredients to make chai tea.
你什么都不用做 You don't have to make me anything.
我要做 因为你在为Emily的事不开心 No, I do. You're upset about Emily
而且你还是印度人 and you're Indian.
我应该给你做印度茶 I need to make you chai tea.
现在只差豆蔻籽了 Now, I have all the ingredients except cardamom seeds.
你身上有带着吗? Do you happen to have any on you?
没有 我把它们落在头巾里了 Sorry, I left them in my turban.
好吧 那我给你做英式早餐茶 Oh, I'll make English breakfast tea.
英国佬虐了你们的文化 They destroyed your culture.
不过也差不多了 That's close enough.
我很好奇 You know, I'm curious,
你为什么看到Emily和其他男人在一起这么伤心? why are you so upset about seeing Emily with another man?
如果看到Amy和其他人约会你不会伤心吗? Wouldn't you be upset if you saw Amy out with someone else?
不可能的 Can't happen.
我们有牢固的约会协议 We have an ironclad relationship agreement
禁止她和除我之外的人 which precludes her from physical contact
有肢体接触 with anyone other than me.
但你也不和她嘿咻啊 But you don't have sex with her, either.
哥狡猾吧? Slick, huh?
说实话 Emily和我也没约会多久 To be truthful, Emily and I haven't dated that long,
我们也从没说过只和对方约会 and we never agreed to be exclusive to each other.
你们发生过性关系了吗? Have you had intercourse?
没有 No.
好吧 坚持住哥们 Well, stick to your guns.
前方压力无限 There will be a lot of pressure.
我又饿了! I'm hungry again!
她就像世界上最肥的布谷鸟闹钟 It's like the world's fattest cuckoo clock.
你整天说着 You know, you're always talking about
将来要个孩子 having a baby someday.
而这就是有孩子后的样子 This is exactly what it's gonna be like.
这可不是 No, it's not.
拜托 二十四小时吵闹 吃饭 拉屎 Come on. The constant fussing, eating, pooping,
打嗝 流口水不间断 burping, drooling.
我们甚至在等 We're even waiting for the day
她可以自己走路的那一天 when she can finally walk on her own.
或许你是对的 Maybe you're right.
地板上找到任何东西她都立马塞嘴里 Anything she finds on the floor goes right in her mouth.
我只是想告诉你 如果我们真的有孩子了 I'm just telling you now, if we do have kids,
别指望我一个人养 don't expect me to do all the work.
嘿 我是个很有父爱的人 Hey, I'm a very paternal person.
我会很好地照顾孩子的 I'd be excellent at taking care of a baby.
我还饿着呢! I'm still hungry!
来了 你这个大婴儿! I'm coming, you big baby!
跟你们说 唯一比参演把猴毛 You know, the only thing worse than doing a movie
粘屁股上的电影还糟糕的就是 where they glue monkey hair to your ass
你被一个把猴 is getting fired from a movie
毛粘屁股上的电影给炒了 where they glue monkey hair to your ass.
算了吧 就一烂片 Forget it, man, it's crap.
你应该投入下一件事 You just move on to the next thing.
好吧 对你来说容易 Yeah, well, it's easy for you to say.
你过去是名人 You used to be famous.
嘿 我刚为你丢了饭碗 Hey. I just lost a job for you.
你说得对 对不起 你现在也有名 You're right, I'm sorry, you're famous.
Penny 这不关乎有不有名 Penny, it's not about being famous.
而关乎艺术 It's about the art.
关乎我们对自己演艺事业的热忱 It's about the passion we have for our craft.
我得到鲨从天降2的试镜了 I have an audition for Sharknado 2!
如果我拿下了 一定会 If I book this, I am totally gonna
把这顿啤酒钱还你的 pay you back for this beer.
天 我这是拿人生干嘛呢? God, what am I doing with my life?
你不想做演员了? You having second thoughts about acting?
你也在片场 你看到是怎样了 You were on set, you saw what it was like.
是 但不会总那么糟的 Yeah, but it's not always that bad.
是吗? Oh, really?
你在那个小剧院 What about when you did, uh,
演安妮弗拉克的时候呢? Anne Frank at that cute little theater?
那是在保龄球馆演的 It was over a bowling alley.
嗯 但是... Yeah, but...
停车位很多啊 there was ample parking.
说完了吗? Are you done?
而且你很擅长拍电视广告 And you were so good in the TV commercial.
那是卖痔疮膏的 It was for hemorrhoid cream.
而我干看着你 And I got itchy and swollen
就浑身发痒肿胀了 just watching you.
Leonard 你真没让我好受点 Leonard, you are really not cheering me up.
别这样嘛 Come on.
你跟一个我这样五尺六的帅哥 How can you be sad when you're going home
一起回家怎么还会伤心呢? with all five-foot-six of this?
嗯 你以为自己有五尺六 太逗了 Hmm. You think you're five-foot-six, that's funny.
我想不明白 I don't understand it.
我是个好人 I'm a nice guy,
有份好工作 I have a great job,
受过良好教育 I'm well-educated,
家境殷实... come from a good family...
为什么女人不想跟我在一起? Why don't women want to be with me?
这问题有意思 An interesting question.
好吧... Well...
晚安 good night.
什么? What?
别赶我回家 Don't send me home.
我现在不能一个人呆着 I can't be alone right now.
这就是你问题所在 That's your problem.
你不能忍受孤独 You can't be alone.
什么意思? What do you mean?
你跟多少女人约会过? How many women have you had dates with?
十一个 Eleven.
其中有多少 How many of those women
你觉得会成为你的理想伴侣? did you think would become your perfect companion?
十一个 Eleven.
等等 Wait.
我可以算上动漫展上与我和Howard三P Do I count the 200-pound Sailor Moon girl
的那个200磅的美少女战士吗? that Howard and I had a threesome with at Comic Con?
好吧 Sure.
还是十一个吧 I'll stick with 11.
她更喜欢Howard She liked Howard better.
现在你发现问题了吧? Well, now do you see the problem?
有点 Maybe.
我... 我不知道 I... I don't know.
你... 很晚了 我该走了... You... it's late, I-I should...
我该回家 I should go.
听着 Look,
我明白你的意思 I-I do get what you're saying.
我应该战胜自己对寂寞的恐惧 Instead of desperately clinging
而不是总粘着那些 to any woman who will go out with me,
与我约会的女人 I need to work on my fear of being alone.
我本来打算建议你去试试化学阉割疗法 但... I was trying to suggest chemical castration, but...
我该睡觉了 it's my bedtime,
所以你赶紧走吧 so whatever gets you out the door.
晚安 Good night.
Howie 我回来了! Howie, I'm back!
嘘 我刚把她哄睡 Shh-shh-shh, I just got her to sleep.
不好意思 Sorry.
你怎么这么晚才回来? What took you so long?
杂货铺就在几街区之外 The grocery store is a few blocks away.
那家只有卖普通酸奶 They only had regular yogurt.
我只好去另一家 I had to go to a different store
去买你妈喜欢的高脂酸奶 to get the extra-fat kind your mom likes.
那我怎么问道咖啡味了? Then why do I smell coffee on your breath?
那又怎么样? So what?
我照顾她两天了 After two days of taking care of her,
就去喝一杯摩卡 excuse me for stopping to get a mocha.
怎么了? A mocha?
当女王的感觉很好吧 Well, it must be nice to be queen.
女王? Queen?
我都要累死了! I've been killing myself here!
哦 你怪谁呢? Well, whose fault is that?
我说请护士 但你却说 I wanted to get a nurse, but you were all,
"我很热心 我会照顾她的" "I'm nice. I want to take care of people."
能和一杯摩卡我很高兴 I'm glad I got that mocha.
知道还有什么事让我高兴吗? And you know what else I'm glad about?
我把给你买的布朗尼蛋糕在路上吃掉了! I bought you a brownie and I ate it in the car!
Howard啊! Howard!
谢谢你了 Thanks a lot.
我现在得去帮她拍拍肚皮 Now I have to go rub her belly again.
嘿 Hey.
谢谢你让我过来 Thanks for letting me come over.
不用客气 Of course.
请进吧 Please, come in.
我只是想说 I just wanted to say
今晚的事我很抱歉... how sorry I am about tonight, and...
我们之间还好吧 I want to make sure that we're okay.
我们之间 Uh, look, you and I haven't made
- 并没有什么约定 - 我知道 - any commitments to each other. - I know.
但我想解释一下 I just felt like I needed to explain.
那个男的帮我纹过纹身 The guy I was with did my last tattoo,
这几个月他一直追我 and he's been asking me out for months.
我答应只是为了赶紧摆脱他 I finally said yes just to get it over with.
没关系的 It's okay.
真的? Really?
哦 虽然吓了我一跳 Well, I mean, yeah, it freaked me out a little,
但这是我的事 不怪你 but that's my issue, not yours.
哇 Wow.
如果我看到你和别的女人约会 If I saw you out with another woman,
我肯定会很火大 I'd be pretty upset.
谢谢 Thank you.
不仅谢谢你会生气 Not just for being upset,
还谢谢你觉得我有可能出轨 but for believing that could happen.
我只想告诉你 我没有和别人交往 Just so you know, I'm not seeing anyone else.
嗯 我也没有 Well, me, neither.
好吧 Okay.
请坐 Please.
那... 你... 你有纹身? So, uh... you... you have tattoos?
是的 Yeah.
我没有 I don't.
我肚脐眼上有个洞 I have a hole in my belly button
我不知道算不算穿刺 that may or may not have been a piercing.
太酷了 That's cool.
那就算穿刺 It's a piercing.
那... So, uh...
你有多少个纹身? how many tattoos?
肩膀上一个 One on my shoulder,
还有一个不在肩膀上 one not on my shoulder
还有一个离肩膀很远 and one really not on my shoulder.
很长时间... It's, uh...
我没看到一个女孩... been a long time since I've seen a girl's...
除了肩的其他部位 really not her shoulder.
不如... Well...
你让我看你的环 how about you show me your piercing
我让你看我的纹身? and I show you my tattoos?
但在我脱掉上衣前 But, uh, before I take my shirt off,
我需要十分钟时间做仰卧起坐 I just need like ten minutes to do some crunches.
天啊 Oh, my God.
这一天过的 What a day.
你要喝什么吗? Can I get you anything?
不要 No.
我从现在开始要做些明智的决定了 I need to start making some smart decisions.
在事业上吗? With your career?
生活上 With my life.
比如说呢? Like what?
不知道 I don't know.
我们可以结婚 We could get married.
拜托 严肃点 Come on, be serious.
我挺严肃的 I am.
为什么? Why?
因为选我... 是"明智的决定"吗? Because I'm a... a "smart decision"?
是啊 Well, yeah.
所以我就像麸子面松饼 So I'm like a bran muffin.
什么... What...
不 我不是这个意思 No, that's not what I'm saying.
不 你就是这个意思 No, it's exactly what you're saying.
你选了无趣的我 I'm the boring thing you're choosing
因为对你有好处 because I'm good for you.
这重要吗? What does it matter?
关键是 我选了你 The point is, I'm choosing you.
这非常重要! Well, it matters a lot!
我不想当麸子面松饼 I don't want to be a bran muffin.
我想当 I... I want to be
肉桂酥 明白吗? a... Cinnabon, you know?
或者草莓小圆饼 A strawberry Pop-Tart.
即使吃了可能会得糖尿病 Something you're excited about
你还会为之兴奋的东西 even though it could give you diabetes.
亲爱的 你想当什么点心都行 Sweetie, you can be any pastry you want.
不 不 不 太晚了 No, no. No, it's too late.
我已经成麸子面松饼了 I... I'm your bran muffin.
可能是无脂的 对你肠道有好处 Probably fat-free and good for your colon.
这样行吗? 当我没说 You know what? Forget it.
我不应该提这个的 I never should've brought it up.
你知道我想娶你 You know I want to marry you,
但你这样做 but you're only doing this
只是因为你被炒了 because you got fired
你为自己感到难过 and you're feeling sorry for yourself.
好吧 看起来也许是这样 但被炒 Okay, it may look that way, but getting fired
不演这电影 可能是件好事 from that movie was the best thing that could have happened
好吗? 我终于意识到 to me, okay? I finally realize
我不想成名 I don't need to be famous
或者事业上非常有成就才幸福 or have some big career to be happy.
那你需要什么? Then what do you need?
你 你个笨不拉几的小圆饼! You, you stupid Pop-Tart!
哦 Oh.
那我想可以 Then I guess I'm in.
真的吗? Really?
你"想你可以"? You "guess you're in"?
不是"我想我可以" Not like, "I guess I'm in."
而是"我想... 那太棒啦!" Like "I guess... I'm in!"
好吧 Okay.
挺好 Cool.
这就行了? So is that it?
我们... 订婚了? Are... are we engaged?
我想是的 Yeah, I think so.
好吧 All right.
怎么了? What's wrong?
不知道 I'm not sure.
就是... 感觉虎头蛇尾的 Just... feels a little anticlimactic.
嗯 是有点 是吧? Yeah, it kind of does, huh?
哦 我知道了 Oh, I know.
这样也许好点 This might help.
你从哪弄的戒指? Where did you get a ring?
我... I've...
买两年了 这不重要 had it for a couple years, not important.
Penny啊... Penny...
嫁给我好吗? will you marry me?
天啊 好 Oh, my God, yes.
你手上如果没有猴子毛 This would have been so much more romantic
就更浪漫了 if you didn't have monkey hair on your finger.
你感觉如何? How you feeling?
昨晚有点不好 Last night was a little rough,
但我想我们能挺过去的 but I think we're gonna get through this.
我为咱俩感到自豪 I'm proud of us.
我也是 Me, too.
我的薄煎饼呢?! Where's my pancakes?!
来了 Wolowitz太太! Coming, Mrs. Wolowitz!
你说得对 You were right.
我们是混蛋二人组 Welcome to Team Putz.