快到了 你们做得很好 Almost there. You're doing great.
感谢你的支持 Thanks for lifting my spirits.
下次能出力"支持"一下盒子吗 Next time, try lifting the box.
快点搬行吗
我不需要用跑步机 I don't need a treadmill!
医生说你需要运动 The doctor says you need to get exercise!
我平常已经运动够多了 I get plenty of exercise!
摧毁我的生存意志不算运动 Crushing my will to live isn't exercise!
如果她不打算用 我们辛苦搬这个干嘛 If she isn't gonna use it, then why are we doing this?
她会用的 She'll use it.
我只需在机器前装根鱼干 All I need is to rig it
绑上蜜汁火腿就行 with a fishing pole and a HoneyBaked Ham.
好了 All right.
下一步干嘛 Now what?
把它搬进华仔旧房间里组装 We set it up in Howie's old room.
你知道怎么组装吗 Do you know how to set it up?
拜托 我可是麻省理工的工程师 Please, I'm an MIT-trained engineer.
区区一台跑步机... I think I can handle...
妈 小心 Ma, look out!
我就说这玩意会搞死我 I told you this thing would kill me!
她得卧床足足六周以上 So she's gonna be laid up for at least six weeks.
沃洛维茨太太真可怜 Poor Mrs. Wolowitz.
我们该为她做点什么吗 Should we do something for her?
我知道做啥 I know.
咱们去看新出的《蜘蛛侠2》吧 Let's go see the new Spider-Man movie.
谢尔顿 那可是你好友的母亲 Sheldon, we're talking about your friend's mother.
她受伤了 She got hurt.
我还以为那个话题聊够了 I thought that subject had run its course,
所以我换个话题 so I changed it.
这叫眼力见儿 艾米 It's called reading the room, Amy.
大家好啊 Hi.
今天拍片还顺利吗 Hey, how were things on the set?
挺顺利的其实 Uh, pretty good, actually.
所以那电影其实没你想象中那么烂吗 So the movie's not as bad as you thought?
真就那么烂 Oh, no, it is,
但我决定 与其每天抱怨个不停 but I decided, instead of complaining about it,
不如卯足全力去做好它 I'm just gonna go in every day and give it my all.
-佩服佩服 -客气客气 - Good for you. - Thanks.
在慢慢转化成杀人恶猿的 There's no reason why I shouldn't be
史上最炫酷的双性恋热场舞者界中 the best bisexual go-go dancer slowly transforming
我没理由当不了业界之王啊 into a killer gorilla anyone's ever seen.
那可不好说 I don't know.
《辛德勒名单》里的双性恋热场舞者杀人猿 The bisexual gorilla go-go dancer in Schindler's List
很难演赢他啊 is tough to beat.
这笑话好笑 Ah, very good.
因为任何性取向的热场舞者杀人恶猿 Because a gorilla go-go dancer of any sexual preference
在跟纳粹大屠杀有关的电影中都会很突兀 would be out of place in a film about the Holocaust.
谢尔顿 你解释出来 笑点"加倍"啊 It only gets funnier when you explain it, Sheldon.
我知道 I know.
我把她在客房里安顿好了 Okay, she's all settled in the guest room.
我们是不是该买一台那种 Maybe we should get one of those machines
能帮忙她上楼梯的机械 to help her up the stairs.
你是指叉车吗 You mean a forklift?
-华仔 -对不起 - Howie... - I'm sorry.
小华子真心做不到啊 I just can't deal with this right now.
照顾你亲妈吗 你怎么能说这种话 Taking care of your own mother? How can you say that?
妮妮 她接下来六到八周会不便于行 Bernie, she's gonna be off her feet for six to eight weeks.
你准备好喂食她 帮她洗澡 Are you prepared to feed her, wash her
带她上厕所了吗 and take her to the toilet?
-我愿意这么照顾我妈啊 -你当然会啦 - I would do it for my mother. - Yeah, of course you would--
你是有爱心的人 you're a loving person.
我就是犹太人称为"贱精"的那种人 I'm what my people would call a putz.
我也并不是很期待做那些事 Look, I'm not crazy about the idea,
只是我们还有别的选择吗 but what other choice do we have?
我们可以请个看护啊 We get a nurse.
最好是个来自第三世界国家的看护 Preferably someone from a Third World country
因为他们习惯了受折磨与闻臭味 who's used to suffering and unpleasant smells.
你会请个陌生人 You'd hire a total stranger
来照顾抚养你长大的那个女人吗 to take care of the woman who raised you?
太没人性了吧 That's so cruel.
如果我们多付点钱 Not if we pay them well
再让他们听家乡的音乐就不会太没人性啦 and let them listen to the music of their homeland.
我想要嘘嘘 I need to tinkle!
这活儿最合适有爱心的人干啦 Sounds like a job for a loving person.
在你扛她去厕所的时候 Would you like me to play some Polish music
需要放点波兰音乐吗 while you carry her to the toilet?
美国的看护与家庭清洁业中 有许多是来自波兰的女性
你果然是个贱精 You are a putz.
假一赔十哦 As advertised.
谢谢你陪我来 Thanks for coming with me.
谢谢你在所有人拒绝你后 邀请我来 Thanks for inviting me after everyone else said no.
你不拿付3D眼镜吗 Aren't you gonna get 3-D glasses?
我自己带了 I brought my own.
我可不想染上鼻梁疱疹 No sense in risking bridge-of-nose herpes.
真有这个病吗 Is that a real thing?
在有人发明鼻部保险套之前 Well, until they invent nose condoms,
我不想以"鼻"犯险 I'm not finding out.
艾米丽 Emily! Hey!
拉杰 Oh, hey, Raj.
这位是我朋友 谢尔顿 Uh, this is my friend, Sheldon.
谢尔顿 她就是艾米丽 Sheldon, this is Emily.
知道了 你就是那位皮肤科医师 Oh, yes, you're the dermatologist.
我昨天去散步没有擦防晒霜 I went for a walk yesterday without sunscreen.
我的额头部位有任何 Do you see anything on my forehead
我该担心的病灶吗 that I should be concerned about?
其实我有点赶时间 Um, you know what? I better go.
我的电影要开始了 My movie's about to start.
你是自己来的吗 Are you here alone?
不算吧 No, not really.
什么叫"不算吧" What do you mean, "not really"?
-我们进去吧 -好 - Hey, should we get our seats? - Yeah.
很高兴遇到你 我晚点打给你 It was nice seeing you. Um, I'll call you later.
好吧 Yeah, okay.
刚才真尴尬 是吧 That was awkward, right?
尴尬是因为撞见你的妞 Is it because she's dating you
跟别的男人约会吗 but was out with that other fellow?
是的 Yes.
那就好 我还以为是因为看见我的病灶了呢 Good. I thought she saw something on my forehead.
开拍 And... action.
不要将我拒之门外 Please don't shut me out.
走开 Go away.
快走开 Just go away.
我发誓 我一定会想办法把你变回来的 I swear, I will find a way to turn you back.
你凭什么 What gave you the right
把我的DNA混进了杀人恶猿的DNA to mix my DNA with that of a killer gorilla?
我当时一心只想让你活下去 I was trying to save your life.
活着有何用 你看我 现在就是个怪兽 Life? What life? Look at me! I'm a monster!
我的双手沾满鲜血 And now I have blood on my hands, or
或我的双爪 随便啦 paws. I don't know.
你不能放弃 我爱你 You can't give up. I love you.
我也爱你 I love you, too.
但恐怕我更爱杀戮 But I'm afraid I love killing more.
或许有一天我会试图...杀了你 Like, one day, I might actually try and kill you!
停 很好 And... cut. All right.
可以准备下一场戏了 All right, let's set up for the next scene.
导演 能再拍一次吗 Actually, you know what? Can we do one more?
刚才没发挥好 I think I could do it better.
就这样吧 Let's just move on.
-没人会介意 -但我会 - No one cares. - Well, I care.
我觉得既然要拍 I mean, look, if we're gonna do this,
何不好好拍一部让我们引以为傲的电影 why not try and make it something we're actually proud of?
小宝贝 Look, sweetie,
这是部垃圾电影 this movie is garbage,
但你应该开心 but you should be happy about that,
因为如果这是部好电影 那根本轮不到你来演 'cause if it was a good movie, you wouldn't be in it.
打住打住 Whoa, whoa, hang on.
你没必要羞辱她吧 There's no need to insult her.
你是哪位啊 And who are you?
我是她的男朋友 I'm her boyfriend.
不觉得高攀了吗 Isn't she too hot for you?
有点吧 A little, yeah.
好了 男朋友 滚出我的片场 Well, boyfriend, get off my set.
不许 他是来陪我的 You can't do that. He's with me.
是吗 那你也可以滚出我的片场了 You know what? You can get off my set, too.
你被解雇了 You're fired.
什么 你不能解雇我 我可是主演啊 What? You can't fire me. I'm the star.
我可是"疯妹子" 电影宣传海报上写着呢 I'm the girl that goes bananas. It says so on the poster.
但刚才已经拍完了你露脸的最后一场戏 Yeah, but we just shot the last scene where we see your face.
所以从现在开始 谁戴这个谁就是主演 So from now own, the star of the movie is whoever wears this.
如果你要解雇她 Hey, if you're gonna fire her,
那我也不干了 then you have to fire me, too.
靠 说炒人就炒人啊 Wow, that fell apart really fast.
谢谢你不看电影陪我回来 Thanks for skipping the movie.
我实在没办法静下心看两个小时的电影 I couldn't sit in that theater for two hours
而不去想艾米丽和那个男人 wondering about Emily and that guy.
真的没关系 Oh, quite all right.
我得了额头黑素瘤恐慌症后 After my forehead melanoma scare,
已经学会了不再为小事斤斤计较 I've learned not to sweat the small stuff.
不好意思 Well, sorry,
我这里没有做印度拉茶的所有原料 I don't have all the ingredients to make chai tea.
你不必为我做什么 You don't have to make me anything.
不行 你在为艾米丽烦恼 No, I do. You're upset about Emily
而且你是印度人 and you're Indian.
我一定要给你做拉茶 I need to make you chai tea.
我这里其他原料都有 就差豆蔻籽 Now, I have all the ingredients except cardamom seeds.
你会不会碰巧有随身携带吧 Do you happen to have any on you?
抱歉 我落在我的印度头巾里了 Sorry, I left them in my turban.
那我只好给你泡英国早餐茶了 Oh, I'll make English breakfast tea.
反正他们摧毁了你们的文化 They destroyed your culture.
18世纪下半叶 印度曾沦为英国的殖民地
也算跟印度有点关系吧 That's close enough.
其实我很好奇 You know, I'm curious,
你干嘛对艾米丽跟其他男人出去这么不爽 why are you so upset about seeing Emily with another man?
如果艾米跟别的男人外出 你不会觉得不爽吗 Wouldn't you be upset if you saw Amy out with someone else?
不可能 Can't happen.
我们的恋爱协议无懈可击 We have an ironclad relationship agreement
里面规定了不许她跟我之外的男人 which precludes her from physical contact
发生任何身体上的接触 with anyone other than me.
但你也没跟她上床啊 But you don't have sex with her, either.
高招吧 Slick, huh?
老实说 我和艾米丽约会的时间不算长 To be truthful, Emily and I haven't dated that long,
我们也还没说好只跟对方处对象 and we never agreed to be exclusive to each other.
那你们发生性关系了吗 Have you had intercourse?
没有 No.
坚持你的立场[收好你的"枪"] Well, stick to your guns.
未来的路将会压力山大 There will be a lot of pressure.
我又饿了 I'm hungry again!
她就像全球最肥的咕咕钟 It's like the world's fattest cuckoo clock.
你总是希望有天能拥有孩子 You know, you're always talking about having a baby someday.
但有了孩子就会是这情况啊 This is exactly what it's gonna be like.
才不会呢 No, it's not.
怎么不会 整天哇哇叫 要吃 要拉 Come on. The constant fussing, eating, pooping,
打嗝 还流口水 burping, drooling.
连她哪天能开始走路 We're even waiting for the day
我们都还得慢慢盼着呢 when she can finally walk on her own.
也许你说得对 Maybe you're right.
还有在地上发现任何东西 也都直接塞嘴里 Anything she finds on the floor goes right in her mouth.
我只是提前告诉你 如果日后有孩子 I'm just telling you now, if we do have kids,
别指望老娘一个人干全部的活 don't expect me to do all the work.
我骨子里也是个慈父啊 Hey, I'm a very paternal person.
我一定很会照顾小孩 I'd be excellent at taking care of a baby.
我还饿着呢 I'm still hungry!
来啦 你个死老小孩 I'm coming, you big baby!
你们知道比拍一部会在屁股上 You know, the only thing worse than doing a movie
粘满猴子毛的电影还惨的是什么吗 where they glue monkey hair to your ass
是被一部会在屁股上 is getting fired from a movie
粘满猴子毛的电影给解雇 where they glue monkey hair to your ass.
算了啦 反正是大烂片 Forget it, man, it's crap.
迎接下一个角色就好了 You just move on to the next thing.
你当然能说得这么轻巧啦 Yeah, well, it's easy for you to say.
你是过气红星 You used to be famous.
喂 我才刚为你丢了工作呢 Hey. I just lost a job for you.
行 对不起 你是当红影星 You're right, I'm sorry, you're famous.
佩妮 跟红不红无关 Penny, it's not about being famous.
重点是为了艺术 It's about the art.
是为艺术事业献身的热情 It's about the passion we have for our craft.
《鲨卷风》的续集找我去试镜 I have an audition for Sharknado 2!
搞笑B级大烂片 讲龙卷风卷起鲨鱼袭击城市
要是我选上了 一定还你啤酒钱 If I book this, I am totally gonna pay you back for this beer.
天啊 我到底是在折腾什么啊 God, what am I doing with my life?
怎么 你又不想演戏了吗 You having second thoughts about acting?
你也在片场 你也看到啦 You were on set, you saw what it was like.
话虽如此 但也不是总那么糟糕 Yeah, but it's not always that bad.
是吗 Oh, really?
还记得你以前 What about when you did, uh,
在那个小剧场演《安妮日记》的事吗 Anne Frank at that cute little theater?
什么剧场 那是在保龄球场 It was over a bowling alley.
没错 可是 Yeah, but...
停车位还挺足的 there was ample parking.
你说完了吗 Are you done?
你的电视广告也拍得相当赞啊 And you were so good in the TV commercial.
那是支痔疮膏广告 It was for hemorrhoid cream.
我光看你演就又痒又肿了 And I got itchy and swollen just watching you.
莱纳德 你这么说我是真心笑不出来 Leonard, you are really not cheering me up.
别这样 Come on.
身边有我这种身长168的大帅哥 How can you be sad when you're going home
你怎么能不开心嘛 with all five-foot-six of this?
你觉得自己有168 好搞笑 You think you're five-foot-six, that's funny.
我不明白 I don't understand it.
我这么好的人 I'm a nice guy,
工作也不错 I have a great job,
受过高等教育 I'm well-educated,
家境优渥 come from a good family...
为什么女人就不愿意跟我在一起呢 Why don't women want to be with me?
这个问题耐人深思 An interesting question.
那么... Well...
晚安不送 good night.
别赶我回家 Don't send me home.
我现在不想孤身一人 I can't be alone right now.
你的问题就是这个 That's your problem.
你没办法忍受孤独 You can't be alone.
你什么意思 What do you mean?
你至今为止约会过几个女人 How many women have you had dates with?
11个 Eleven.
这些女人当中有几个 How many of those women
你觉得能当你的完美伴侣呢 did you think would become your perfect companion?
11个 Eleven.
等等 Wait.
在动漫展上与我和霍华德搞3p的 Do I count the 200-pound Sailor Moon girl
180斤美猪女战士可以算吗 that Howard and I had a threesome with at Comic Con?
可以 Sure.
还是算11个吧 I'll stick with 11.
她比较喜欢霍华德 She liked Howard better.
你看到问题所在了吧 Well, now do you see the problem?
大概吧 Maybe.
我搞不懂了 I... I don't know.
太晚了 我还是... You... It's late, I-I should...
我该走了 I should go.
我明白你想说什么 Look, I-I do get what you're saying.
我不该死命纠缠 Instead of desperately clinging
每一个愿意和我约会的妹子 to any woman who will go out with me,
我要学会面对孤单的恐惧感 I need to work on my fear of being alone.
我本想建议你去做化学阉割的 不过 I was trying to suggest chemical castration, but...
人家要睡觉了 ...it's my bedtime,
只要你滚 你爱咋想都行 晚安 so whatever gets you out the door. Good night.
华仔 我回来了 Howie, I'm back!
嘘 我刚哄她睡下 Shh-shh-shh, I just got her to sleep.
抱歉 Sorry.
你怎么这么晚才回来 What took you so long?
杂货店走几条街就到了 The grocery store is a few blocks away.
他们只有普通酸奶卖 They only had regular yogurt.
我还得去其他商店 I had to go to a different store
买你妈爱吃的多脂酸奶 to get the extra-fat kind your mom likes.
那我怎么从你嘴里闻到了咖啡味 Then why do I smell coffee on your breath?
那又怎么样 So what?
精疲力尽地照顾了她两天后 After two days of taking care of her,
老娘想去喝个摩卡又怎样 excuse me for stopping to get a mocha.
喝摩卡 A mocha?
拿自己当皇后娘娘感觉倍儿棒是吧 Well, it must be nice to be queen.
皇后娘娘 Queen?
我人都快被折磨死了 I've been killing myself here!
这都是谁作的孽呢 Well, whose fault is that?
我说要请看护的 你却说 I wanted to get a nurse, but you were all,
"伦家人最好了 伦家喜欢照顾人" "I'm nice. I want to take care of people."
我喝摩卡我自豪 I'm glad I got that mocha.
你知道我还为什么自豪吗 And you know what else I'm glad about?
我给你买了巧克力蛋糕 然后在车上吃掉了 I bought you a brownie and I ate it in the car!
霍华德 Howard!
我谢你全家 Thanks a lot.
我现在又得去给她揉肚肚了 Now I have to go rub her belly again.
谢谢你允许我过来 Thanks for letting me come over.
没事 Of course.
快进来吧 Please, come in.
我是想来 I just wanted to say
为今晚的事道歉 how sorry I am about tonight, and...
我希望你没有生气 I want to make sure that we're okay.
你我之间并没有 Uh, look, you and I haven't made
-许过任何承诺 -我知道 - any commitments to each other. - I know.
我只是觉得自己应该来解释一下 I just felt like I needed to explain.
今晚那人是上次帮我纹身的师傅 The guy I was with did my last tattoo,
他这几个月一直约我出去 and he's been asking me out for months.
所以我只好答应 好让他别继续烦我 I finally said yes just to get it over with.
没关系 It's okay.
真的吗 Really?
虽然 这事让我有点惊讶 Well, I mean, yeah, it freaked me out a little,
但这是我的问题 不是你的错 but that's my issue, not yours.
如果是我看到你和别的女人约会 If I saw you out with another woman,
我一定伤心死了 I'd be pretty upset.
谢谢你 Thank you.
不仅是谢你会伤心 Not just for being upset,
还谢你相信真会有这种事发生 but for believing that could happen.
你要知道 我没有和其他人约会 Just so you know, I'm not seeing anyone else.
我也没有 Well, me, neither.
-好的 -好的 - Okay. - Okay.
请坐 Please.
这么说 你有纹身啊 So, uh... you... you have tattoos?
-是的 -我没有 - Yeah. - I don't.
我的肚脐上有个洞 I have a hole in my belly button
不知道是不是脐环洞 that may or may not have been a piercing.
挺酷的 That's cool.
是脐环洞 It's a piercing.
那么 So, uh...
你有几处纹身 how many tattoos?
一个在肩膀上 One on my shoulder,
一个不在肩膀上 one not on my shoulder
还有一个 "真不在肩膀"上 and one really not on my shoulder.
我已经 It's, uh...
很久没有看到一个女生的 been a long time since I've seen a girl's...
"真不是肩膀"的地方 really not her shoulder.
那么 不如你给我看你的脐环洞 Well...how about you show me your piercing
我给你看我的纹身 and I show you my tattoos?
但是 在我脱衣服前 But, uh, before I take my shirt off,
给我十分钟时间 做几个仰卧起坐 I just need like ten minutes to do some crunches.
我的天 Oh, my God.
这一天过得 What a day.
要我帮你拿什么吗 Can I get you anything?
不用 No.
我得开始做些明智的决定才行 I need to start making some smart decisions.
你的事业吗 With your career?
我的人生 With my life.
比如说呢 Like what?
我不知道 I don't know.
我们可以结婚 We could get married.
说真的 别闹了 Come on, be serious.
我很认真 I am.
为什么 Why?
因为我是"明智的决定"吗 Because I'm a-a "smart decision"?
是的 Well, yeah.
这么说我是麦麸松糕[较为健康] So I'm like a bran muffin.
什么 我不是这个意思 What...No, that's not what I'm saying.
不 你就是这个意思 No, it's exactly what you're saying.
你选择我这个无趣的选项 I'm the boring thing you're choosing
是因为我对你有益 because I'm good for you.
这有什么关系 What does it matter?
重点是 我选了你 The point is, I'm choosing you.
太有关系了 Well, it matters a lot!
我不想做麦麸松糕 I don't want to be a bran muffin.
我要做 I-I want to be a...
肉桂卷 懂吗 Cinnabon, you know?
或草莓夹心饼干 A strawberry Pop-Tart.
你想到我就会兴奋 Something you're excited about
哪怕我会害你得糖尿病 even though it could give you diabetes.
亲爱的 你想做任何糕饼点心都行 Sweetie, you can be any pastry you want.
不不 太迟了 No, no. No, it's too late.
我是你的麦麸松糕 I-I'm your bran muffin.
可能无脂肪 有利于结肠健康 Probably fat-free and good for your colon.
这样吧 算了 You know what? Forget it.
我就不应该提这事 I never should've brought it up.
你知道我想娶你 You know I want to marry you,
但你现在这样 只是因为你被炒了 but you're only doing this because you got fired
你为自己感到难过 and you're feeling sorry for yourself.
看起来是这样 但被这部电影炒掉 Okay, it may look that way, but getting fired from that movie
是我这辈子最幸运的一件事 was the best thing that could have happened to me, okay?
我终于意识到 我不需要出名 I finally realize I don't need to be famous
不需要演艺事业腾飞来令我幸福 or have some big career to be happy.
那你需要什么 Then what do you need?
你啊 你这个笨夹心饼干 You, you stupid pop-tart!
那我想我愿意 Then I guess I'm in.
你不是吧 Really?
你"想你愿意" You "guess you're in"?
不是勉强的"我想我愿意" Not like, "I guess I'm in."
而是激动的"我想...我愿意" Like "I guess... I'm in!"
好的 Okay.
酷 Cool.
就这样吗 So is that it?
我们订婚了吗 Are... are we engaged?
大概吧 Yeah, I think so.
好的 All right.
怎么啦 What's wrong?
我不知道 I'm not sure.
感觉有点虎头蛇尾的 Just... feels a little anticlimactic.
是有点那种感觉 Yeah, it kind of does, huh?
我知道了 Oh, I know.
这个也许有帮助 This might help.
你在哪里弄的戒指 Where did you get a ring?
我 I've...
已经买了几年了 这不重要 had it for a couple years, not important.
佩妮 Penny...
你愿意嫁给我吗 will you marry me?
天啊 我愿意 Oh, my God, yes.
如果你手指上没有猩猩毛 This would have been so much more romantic
这个求婚仪式会浪漫许多 if you didn't have monkey hair on your finger.
感觉如何 How you feeling?
昨晚是挺难熬的 Last night was a little rough,
但我想我们能熬过去的 but I think we're gonna get through this.
我为咱俩骄傲 I'm proud of us.
我也是 Me, too.
我的煎饼呢 Where's my pancakes?!
来了 沃罗威茨夫人 Coming, Mrs. Wolowitz!
你是对的 You were right.
欢迎加入贱精二人组 Welcome to Team Putz.
-今天才发现我伟大的YY猫大人带过3季姐妹花 各6季的好汉两个半与大爆炸 7季浪漫史 能跟在她身旁打杂 我真是三生有幸 by赛太公 -能有个神人在我旁边打杂 何其幸福~ by YY猫