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通篇翻译、英文校正、双语整合：鬼畜职人@CMCT 匹配01：33：00 Web-DL版本
双重人格
你坐了我的位置 You're in my place.
抱歉 什么？ I'm sorry?
你坐了我的位置 You're in my place.
噢 对不起 Oh, I'm sorry.
嘿 你啊 Hey, you!
- 我？- 宾客得登记 - Me? - Visitors have to sign in.
等下 我在这工作七年了 Oh wait, I've worked here for seven years.
- 我每天都能见到你 - 我周末都不上班的… - I see you every day. - I don't work weekends...
- 什么？- 如果你说… - I'm sorry? - It is therefore impossible
你每天都见到我是不可能的 证件 For you to see me every day. I.D.
- 好的 我… - 附属证件 - Yeah, I... - Supplementary I.D.
噢 可笑的是我没法出示其他证件 Oh yeah, the funny thing is I don't have any.
它们都在我的文件包了 而文件包又被夹在列车门了 It's actually in my case, which is in the door of a train.
- 太糟糕了 - 你觉得这很好笑吗？ - It got stuck. - Do you think that's funny?
不 不 它比任何事都令我烦心 No. No, it's actually more upsetting than anything else.
先生 别拿这来开玩笑 Don't make a jest of this, sir.
不是玩笑 I won't.
噢 嗯… Oh, um...
实际上 我的姓名是西蒙·詹姆斯 Actually my name is Simon James.
嗯 你漏写了我的姓 Uh, you left off the "J" in my last name.
- 请出示通行证 - 好的 - I need to see your pass. - Right.
嗯 Uh-huh.
打搅了 Sorry.
办公室就像是野外丛林 让上校帮助你
穿好你的外套 小子 Put your jacket on, son.
这里可不是妓院 This isn't a brothel.
别偷懒 这可是个矢志的追求 No shirking! This is the big push!
上校希望你们每个人都有所作为 我也如此 Plenty to do. The colonel is counting on each and every one of you, as am I.
实际上… 帕帕多普洛斯先生 对不起 Mr. Papadopoulos, actually... Mr. Papadopoulos, excuse me.
帕帕多普洛斯先生 我做完工作了 Mr. Papadopoulos, I've finished up.
实际上 我还超额完成了 In fact, I completed substantially more than my quota.
我脱外套是因为真的很热 I took my jacket off only because it's so hot,
并不是因为我把办公室当妓院 Not because I mistook the office for a brothel.
做得好 主动工作正是我们所需要的 Excellent job. That's the type of initiative we need.
小子 你在这里工作多久了？ How long have you been here, son?
- 刚来上班吗？- 是的 已经工作七年了 - Just started, eh? - Yes sir, seven years ago.
要知道 我们如今正在修剪朽木 You know we've been pruning the dead wood.
上校不允许再养更多的闲散人员了 The colonel refuses to carry any more passengers.
嗯 其实 我有一些相当出色的想法… Er, actually, I have some rather exciting ideas
是关于如何"让报告更有效率"的… I've been wanting to share with the colonel about how
我想和上校分享下这方面想法 We could make our reports more efficient.
我构想用单元回归分析… I think by using simple regression analysis
我们就可以重新配置整个业务 We could really reconfigure the entire business.
- 梅兰妮 我女儿的名字 - 名字真好 - My daughter's name is Melanie. - A nice name.
她暑假在这实习 She's interning for the holidays.
- 梅兰妮 打个招呼吧 - 你好 梅兰妮 - Say hello, Melanie. - Hello, Melanie.
在这里 斯坦利会成为你的导师 Stanley here is gonna be your mentor.
- 好 什么？- 每天一个小时 - Yes. What? - An hour a day,
你自己决定 她是个好女孩 At your discretion. She's a good girl,
- 但是却是个数盲 - 好的 - But no head for figures. - Yeah.
笨蛋 Idiot.
- 你现在可以走了 - 好的 - You can go now. - Right. Yes, thank you.
如果我发现你在这儿做的事 Because if I were to find out how depressing
令我感到压抑和低贱 诸如此类的 And demeaning whatever the fuck it is you do here,
我可能得为你感到抱歉了 I might be forced to feel sorry for you.
对 好的 Right. Well,
我拭目以待 I look forward to it.
文件份数
你好 Hi.
复印 Copy.
噢 Oh
为什么你不打印两份 那才合逻辑 Why don't you print out two copies? That would make sense.
一般人都会这样做的 That would be what a normal person would do.
- 对不起 - 这里不是让你复印一份用的 - Sorry. - You can't use this place for one copy.
- 昨天你也是这样 - 对不起 - It was the same story yesterday. - Sorry.
- 你经常道歉 - 为此我感到抱歉 - You're always sorry. - Sorry about that.
嘿 汉娜 你能再留一会儿吗 Hey, Hannah, can you stay late?
- 我还有点事 - 好的 - I've gotta get this thing lanced. - Uh-huh.
复印一份 One copy.
是的 谢谢 Yes, please.
我知道 I know.
我知道 I know!
是的 妈妈 我会去的 Yes, mom, I'll be there.
我老是加班 I always work late.
我就要去了 I'm trying to leave now.
但是我现在还在和你说话 Because I'm talking to you. Yeah.
好了 再见 Okay. Yes. Bye.
你要相信我 好的 You can rely on me. Okay.
员工… People...
最基本的资源 The ultimate resource.
在企业里 他们似乎看起来都一样 Yet to some businesses they all look the same.
但上校知道 他们其实不一样 But the colonel knows people are different.
上校知道 企业就是员工 The colonel knows business is people
员工就是企业 And people are business,
把你的事业加入到他的事业中 Making your business his business.
因为上校了解员工 Because the colonel knows people.
而且上校知道你需要… And the colonel knows that you demand
世界上最强大的数据处理系统… The most powerful data-processing system
来使这星球上的一切事物变得有意义 On the planet to make sense of it all.
上校会让世人… The colonel will show you people
理解你们现在所在的事情 In a way your business can understand.
因为上校知道 世上… Because the colonel knows
没有任何的人… There's no such thing
是特殊的人 As special people.
仅仅就是普通人 Just people.
- 哪个是你？- 哪个… - Which one was you? - Which one...
我不知道该怎么说 I don't know how to answer that.
那个… 那个就是我 The one... The one that was me.
那个看起来不像你 他的头发是棕色的 He didn't look like you. He had brown hair.
我们都有棕色的头发 We both have brown hair.
我意思是 我… 我们都是同样的人 I mean, I have... I... We're the same person.
- 我永远不会死的… - 我知道 - I'm not gonna die ever... - I know.
- 因此你可以忘掉它 - 好的 - So you can forget it. - Okay.
你可以闭嘴了吗？ Will you stop talking?
我打算睡觉了 I'm trying to sleep.
你妈妈说你是个奇怪的孩子 Your mother says you're a strange boy.
- 什么？- 你妈妈说你很奇怪 - I'm sorry? - Your mother says you're a strange boy.
噢 谢谢 Oh. Thank you.
让我看看你的手掌 Let me see your hand.
不用了 我过得挺好的 Oh, that's okay. I'm fine.
你过得不好 You're not right.
我可以和你谈谈吗？ May I speak with you?
好的 Yes.
我可以走开下吗？ Will you excuse me?
什么事？ Yes?
你的账单看来有点不符 There seems to be a discrepancy in your bill.
噢 对哦 Oh yes, well,
费用增涨了很多而且… There was a rather large cost increase
- 没有解释说明 所以我认为… - 调价了 - And no explanation, so I thought... - There's a new price.
- 为什么呢？- 服务改善了 - And why is that? - Improvements.
- 这听起来有点… - 不公平 - That seems a little... - Unfair.
是的 Yeah.
噢 对不起 Oh, sorry.
好的 Okay.
我就只有这些了 That's all I have.
好 Yeah.
还不够 It's not enough.
你不应该那样做 You shouldn't be doing that.
对不起 Sorry.
- 然后你又做了什么？- 什么？ - And then what did you do? - Sorry?
然后你又做了什么？ And then what did you do?
- 我报警了 - 嗯 - I called the police. - Right.
还有别的吗？ Anything else?
他向我挥手 He waved at me.
- 什么？- 他跳楼之前和我挥手 - Yeah? - Right before he jumped he waved.
他怎么挥的？ How did he wave?
- 你也向他挥手了吗？- 我想知道他为什么这么做 - Did you wave back? - I wonder why he did it.
他遗书写下他很寂寞 他应该养一只狗 His note said he was lonely. He should have got a dog.
或者多锻炼 这很重要 Or exercised more. That's important.
- 我该把这写下来吗？- 应该加上括弧 - Should I write that down? - Maybe in parenthesis.
- 意思是用大括弧？- 大括弧是什么？ - Does that mean brackets? - What the fuck are brackets?
- 他很痛苦吗？- 啪嗒就死了 - Did he suffer? - Splat.
你们经常遇到这样的事情吗？ Do you see this sort of thing often?
每天 这就是我们做的 处理自杀 Every day. That's what we do... Suicides.
- 单单处理自杀？- 是的 - Only suicides? - That's right.
- 整个城市的？- 我们就只负责这周边 - For the whole city? - We can barely cover the neighborhood.
你知道 有趣的是 You know the funny thing is
如果他再往右边跳一点 He would have landed on that awning
他应该能在篷布那落点 If he'd just jumped a few feet to the right.
你看见那吗？他跳下来 You see that? He would have fallen,
然后弹开 Bounced off
最后摔在那的某处 And landed somewhere about there.
那样可能会保住性命 Probably would have survived.
可怕的是 那样至少残废了 Horribly maimed, of course, but still.
如果你及时送他到医院 处理脑袋膨胀 If you get 'em to the hospital quick enough to stop the brain swelling.
- 你没有在想着自杀 对吧？- 什么？ - You're not thinking of killing yourself, are you? - Sorry?
- 这是个简单的问题 - 没有 - It's a simple question. - No.
我应该把他记录为"不会"吗？ Should I put him down as a "no"?
把他记录成"可能"吧 Put him down as a "maybe."
你在这干什么？ What are you doing here?
那男人在那跳下来的？ The man that jumped?
- 我看见了 - 怎么跳？ - I saw it. - How?
我住在那栋楼 I live in that building.
我不认识他 I didn't know him.
- 他朝我挥手 - 真奇怪 - He waved at me. - Strange.
明天是上校的舞会 It's the colonel's ball tomorrow.
你去吗？我不知道去不去 Do you think you'll go? I don't know if I'll go.
那是强制性的 每个人都得去 It's mandatory. Everyone has to go.
汉娜？ Hannah?
嗯？ Yeah?
孤独一人真是太糟糕了 It's terrible to be alone too much.
这是一杯果汁 我要的是… I think it was an orange juice. I just...
- 他们的服务都是那么差吗？- 是的 - Are they normally that rude here? - Yes.
- 那你为什么还来？- 我想是我忠贞吧 - Then why do you come? - I think I'm quite loyal.
你得交出你的徽章和手枪 You'll have to hand in your holo-badge and blaster.
你来拿啊 Come and get 'em.
把枪放下 杰克 Holster your blaster, jack.
我喜欢这节目 I like this show.
我不介意死去 I don't mind dying.
实际上 我还习惯了这样 In fact, I'm getting quite used to it.
按我推测 你只有一条命 The way I figure it, you only get one life.
和他们说的那样… And like they say...
人生没有第二次机会 There's no such thing as second chances.
杰克 那不是你 Jack, this isn't you.
那我他妈的是谁 Then who the hell is?
他在你心里 He's in your heart.
他真善美 He's good and right and true.
我说不认识他 我撒谎了 I was lying when I said I didn't know him.
跳楼那个人 某程度上我认识他 The man who jumped? I kind of knew him.
我没有真正和他见过面 我只瞥见过他 I'd never really met him. I'd more confronted him.
那人跟踪我好一段时间了 He was this person who'd been following me around for a while,
我去到哪里都能见到他 And I'd always see him, no matter where I went...
像是在办公室 地铁站 公寓里 Like at the office, on the subway, by my apartment.
你知道吗？在公寓的地下道里 You know, in that little underpass thing by the apartments?
他就在那 看着我 He'd just be there, watching.
而我在想 "这太奇怪了" 但是 无论怎么 And I thought, "that's strange." but, you know, whatever.
男人看女人 看多了你就会习惯 Men look at women. You get used to it.
但是 后来我发现 他就在我生活里 But then I found out that he lived above me
我就想 "这太诡异了" And I thought, "that's really odd."
可能是因为他和我住在同一栋楼 于是到处跟着我 Like, did he follow me around because he lived in the same building as me
因而迷恋上我 又或者是他因为迷恋我而搬来这里？ And he got fixated? Or did he get fixated and then move in?
不管怎样 最后我在想"你知道什么？" So anyway, eventually I thought, "you know what?
"够了就是够了" 因为这事实上已经够恐怖的了 Enough is enough." because it was actually getting frightening.
嗯 是有那么点恐怖 Well, like a little bit frightening.
其实是困扰多于恐怖 于是… It was more annoying than frightening, so...
我走到他身边 他回头看了看我 I went up to him and he looked over his shoulder at me
好像在说"谁？我？" 像是他没跟踪过我一样 As if to say, "who, me?" like he hadn't been stalking me.
然后我叮着他眼睛 说"你想从我这得到什么" And so I looked at him square in the eyes and I said, "what do you want from me?"
接着他就开始叽叽咕咕的呢喃了 And he starts stumbling and mumbling
然后说"我想我爱上你了" And says, "I think I'm falling for you."
而我就说"你认为一直注视着我" And I said, "do you think just staring at me
"是种有意义的举止吗？" Is some kind of meaningful gesture?
"你到底想这里会发生什么？" What exactly do you think is going to happen here?
"你认为你知道我是谁了？" Do you think you know who I am?
"你以为你注视我时间长了" You know, that if you stare long enough,
"某天我就会转过身亲吻你吗" I'll just turn around one day and I'll kiss you?
"就像我们不知怎么搞地就在一起了？" Like we're going to somehow be together?
"停止你那他妈的跟踪吧" Stop fucking following me!"
而他真的这么做了 And he did.
- 天啊 什么时候的事 - 昨晚 - My god, when was this? - Last night.
你认为这和他自杀有联系吗？ Do you think there's a connection?
没吧 我意思是 这听起来… No. I mean, it sounds like
是他自己的问题 He had a lot of things going on.
我意思是 可能他想别人注意到他 I mean, maybe he just wanted somebody to notice him.
要知道 一个人无所事事真的会病 You know, a person can get really sick of just floating by.
但是 我总是能吸引一些怪人 But I attract so many weirdos.
算了 你的故事呢？ Anyway what's your story?
- 你什么时候搬进那公寓的？- 很久之前 - When did you move into the building? - A long time ago.
可以肯定我不是最近搬进去的 Yeah, I definitely didn't move in recently.
为此 谢谢 Thanks for this.
我感觉好点了 I feel better.
嘿 我刚刚打了个耳洞 Hey, I just got my ears pierced.
我这年纪 这样挺奇怪的吧？ That's weird, huh, at my age?
不 你并不老 No. I mean, you're not that old
也不奇怪 你很… Or weird. You're just...
- 嘿 有电话找你 - 噢 应该不是找我的 - Hey, you got a call. - Oh, it's not for me.
穿着老土 名叫西蒙的 Frumpy-looking guy named Simon?
啊 那是我 That's me. Yeah.
我能离开下吗？妈妈？ Would you excuse me? Mom?
不 那只是夜惊 No, it's just a night terror.
不 那从没发生过 No, that didn't ever happen.
我知道我很令你失望 I know I'm a disappointment.
我得挂电话了 我和女孩在一起 I have to go now. I'm with a girl.
是的 "雌性"的女孩 Yes, a female girl.
我不知道她是否能生育 I don't know if she's fertile.
"感谢你陪我说话 我们舞会见吧" "thanks for the talk. Maybe see you at the ball.
"这硬币 为我播首歌吧 汉娜留" Here, play a song for me. Hannah."
以物换物
送给 汉娜
没 没有 这没你名 No, nothing, you're not here.
我的工作卡没有效了 My card hasn't been working.
为什么其他人不用刷卡进？ Why does no one else have to swipe in?
- 里面见 - 哈瑞斯 等下 他认识我… - See you in there! - Harris. Wait, Harris, he knows...
哈瑞斯 你能告诉她我是谁吗？ Harris, could you please tell her who I am?
- 我从来没有见过这个人 - 系统里没你名字 - I've never seen this man before in my life. - You're not here.
- 我在这工作七年了 - 名单上没你 - I've worked here for seven years. - You're just not here.
我为什么会闯进那个强制要求的舞会呢？ Why would I try to break into something that's mandatory?
- 打算闯入？- 你知道什么是"强制性"吗？ - Planning on breaking in? - You know what "mandatory" means?
- 由于那是不允许的 - 那就意味着没人想到这来 - 'cause that's not allowed. - It means that no one wants to be here.
你不知道我想要什么 You don't know what I want.
* I was born *
* in east virginia *
* north carolina *
* I did love *
* there I met *
* a very pretty baby *
* her name and age *
* I do not know *
* well, in my heart you are *
* my darling *
* at my door *
* you are welcome in *
* at my gate *
* I meet you, my darling *
* if your love *
* I could only win... *
你不该在这里出现 You're not meant to be here.
我在这里工作七年了 I have worked here for seven years.
我是这里的员工 I am an employee of this company.
我建议你让我过去 You'd be well-advised to let go of me.
不要试探我的力气 Do not test my strength.
* still in the night... *
* I'm dreaming about you... *
先生 这不是我 Sir, this is not me.
不是我啦 This is not me.
不 这不是我 No. This is not me, sir!
* just the thought *
* of you, my darling... *
* sends aching pains *
* all through my breast. *
我买了份礼物给你 我觉得它不是很合适 I bought you a present, but I decided it wasn't appropriate.
嗯？ Hmm?
我买了份礼物给你 I bought you a present,
我觉得它不是很合适 But I decided it wasn't appropriate.
哦 Oh.
好的 Okay.
我真的没用很大力踢它 I really didn't kick it that hard.
踢的力度被记录了 The hardness of the kick was recorded.
- 踢得非常大力 - 我不知道我在想什么 - Super. - I don't know what I was thinking.
我之前从没做过这种事 I've never done anything like that before.
我可以劳烦你出示你的工作卡吗？ If I could just trouble you for your card?
好的 Yeah.
很好 Magic.
恐怕你这张卡已经损坏了 - I'm afraid this card is corrupted.
"损坏"是什么意思？ Corrupted? What does that mean, "corrupted"?
你在六到八周内会收到替换卡的了 You will receive a replacement within six to eight weeks.
那我怎么进出这栋楼？ Well, how will I get in and out of the building?
亲切友好 Lovely.
- 这个？- 不 那个 - This one? - Er, no, that one.
下面几页 值得再看下 And it's worth checking after a couple of screen pages.
你怎么不杀了你自己？ How do you not kill yourself?
天啊 昨晚太残忍了 Jesus, that was brutal last night.
被人赶出去真是太尴尬了 So embarrassing getting chucked out.
汉娜 看见了整个过程 Hannah saw the whole thing, of course.
噢 可以啦 真是那样 Oh, yeah, you got it. That's it.
你觉得你这样一直讲话 Do you think you're being encouraging?
就能获得奖励了吗？ Is that why you keep saying things?
我是说 要是你修好你的打印机或许能 Maybe you should get your printer fixed is what I'm saying.
- 你在摸我的耳垂吗？- 是啊 - Are you touching my earlobe? - Yes, I am.
你还小吗？还玩这？ Aren't you like a million years old?
别为这吵架 Don't fight this.
哈瑞斯 这不妥当 Harris, that's not appropriate.
你为什么不去死？ Why won't you die?
我们应该多请你这种青年才俊 We could really use a bright young man like you.
现在 我们又有了巨大的推进了 Especially right now, with the big push and all.
我得向各位介绍我们的新员工 I'd like to introduce everyone to our newest co-worker.
我敢肯定你会变为年轻的骨干精英的 A bright young man who I'm sure will be an asset.
在我们的子公司 他在最后一轮裁员也没被开除 He was the only one not fired in the final cull at our sister office.
那里甚至连蟑螂都不能存活下来 Even the cockroaches didn't survive.
好了 我要让你开始了 年轻的高手 Well, I'll let you get started, young hotshot.
很快 你就会接替我的工作 Soon you'll have my job.
各位 请欢迎 Everyone, please welcome
詹姆斯·西蒙 James Simon.
不必惊慌 There's no need to be alarmed.
我家的清洁阿姨是位糖尿病患者 My cleaning lady's a diabetic.
我们只需把饼干塞进他的喉咙 We just need to jam a cookie down his throat.
不 先生 我没糖尿病 No no sir, I'm not diabetic.
- 只是吓坏了… - 别担心 小子 - It's just a shock that... - Don't worry, son.
我们不是要取代你 We're not replacing you.
我不是那种假仁假义的人 I'm not one of these holier-than-thou types.
嗑药也能使人健康 Drugs can be healthy for a person.
但别带来办公室就好了 Just leave it out of the office.
不 不 我没嗑药 先生 No no, not drugs, sir. No no.
昨晚只是个误会 现在… Last night was a mistake. And now...
现在 这个陌生人 我只是… Now... Now this strange man, I just...
不必细说 我们都经历过那种事 No need for details. It's happened to us all.
喝杯水 然后回去工作 Have a drink of water then get back to work.
哈瑞斯 Harris.
哈瑞斯 你和新同事说过话了吗？ Harris, have you spoken to the new employee?
- 詹姆斯吗？说过了 - 怎样？ - James? Yeah sure, I met him. - And?
他挺好的 He seems all right.
但你有注意到他有点奇怪吗？ But did you notice anything strange about him?
- 我意思是 他有令你想起谁吗？- 没有 - I mean, did he remind you of anyone? - No.
- 没想起办公室的某人？- 没有 - No one at the office? - No.
好的 请… Okay. Would...
请我… 你… Can I... Could you...
我可以过… 你可… Would... Could I please just...
你可以过… You can...
谢谢 Thank you.
嗯 Yeah.
- 你觉得他让你想起谁？- 例如 我啊 - Who did you have in mind? - Me, for instance.
噢 可能吧 Oh yeah, suppose so.
你只是可能？ You suppose so?
噢 是吧 你看起来很像他 Yeah yeah, you look just like him.
- 是啦 不像吗？- 像 你又不是中国人 - Yes, I do, don't I? - Yeah, and you're not even chinese.
- 这真是太乱了 - 是啊 乱啊 - It's pretty fucked up. - Yes, it is that.
现在 为什么你没注意到？ Now now why didn't you notice?
嗯 请勿见怪 哥们 但… Well, no offence, mate, but...
你真的不太令人瞩目 You're pretty unnoticeable.
有点像透明人 Bit of a non-person.
要吃点什么？ What'll it be?
你要什么？好的 嗯 抱歉 What, do you want to go...? Okay, no, sorry then.
我想要… I'll just have a...
可乐和面包圈 Coke and a bagel.
- 面包圈卖完了 - 噢 - We're out of bagels. - Oh.
噢 那…嗯… Right, then, um...
好 那 我要… Right. Then I'll just...
- 快点 - 好的 抱歉 我要… - Come on. - Right, sorry, I just...
我要… 我就要一杯可乐就好了 I'll just... I can just have the coke then, I guess.
- 可乐一杯 你呢？- 咖啡 - A coke. And you? - A coffee.
- 咖啡一杯 - 还有西式炒蛋 - A coffee. - And scrambled eggs.
我们晚上不卖早餐 We don't serve breakfast in the evening.
- 为什么不卖？- 因为菜单上明写着的 - Why not? - Because it says so on the menu.
- 那好 你们还有鸡蛋吧？- 有啊 - Well, do you still have eggs here? - Yeah.
- 那你们还有煎锅吧？- 有的 - And do you have a frying pan? - Yeah.
那帮帮忙 弄个西式炒蛋给我吧 Then do me a favor and make me some scrambled eggs.
- 可以 还有什么吗？- 培根 - Fine. Anything else? - Bacon.
- 培根一份 - 还有烤面包 - Bacon. - And toast.
- 烤面包一份 - 还有啤酒 - And toast. - And a beer.
还有啤酒一瓶 还有别的吗？ And a beer. Anything else?
- 没了 就这些 - 你确定？ - No, that's it. - Are you sure?
就他妈这些了 Just get me the damn food.
- 什么？我很饿 - 不 这… - What? I'm hungry. - No, it's just...
我不知道 我从来没这要做过 I don't know, I would have never done that.
- 你不喜欢鸡蛋？- 不 我意思是 我… - You don't like eggs? - No, I mean, I just...
这样和别人说话令我感到很不安 Don't think I would feel comfortable talking to someone like that.
她只是个侍应 她在这就是为了服务我们 She's a waitress. She's here to serve us.
如果你不告诉她你真正想要的 她怎么工作呢？ If you don't tell her what you actually want, how can she do her job?
不 我看得出… 她有时候会有点秀逗 No, I can see that... She can be a little short sometimes,
而我也觉得 直率无疑也很重要 And I do think being forthright certainly has its place.
我也不是批评你的做法不好什么的 And I'm not, like, criticizing your behavior or anything.
你的咖啡 Here is your coffee,
啤酒 还有你的早餐 Your beer and your breakfast.
可乐卖完了 We're out of coke.
你俩的手都好漂亮喔 You both have very beautiful hands.
请继续 To be continued.
别走开 Don't go anywhere.
深色头发那个挺开放的 你想要哪个？ The dark-haired one is a dirty dirty thing. Which one do you want?
- 什么？- 但我喜欢咖啡色那个 你选吧 - I'm sorry? - I prefer the brunette, but either way.
没关系 你两个都要也可以 That's all right, you can have both.
- 可一不可再啦 - 我要去下洗手间 - Never again. - I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
- 嘿 看着 瞎眼了？- 对不起 - Hey, watch it, will you? - Sorry sorry.
你他妈的想怎样？ What the fuck are you gonna do about it?
你好 我们大概不认识吧 Hi, I don't think we've talked.
可以帮我拿下瓶子吗？谢谢 Would you mind holding this for me? Thank you.
我们得走了 We should leave.
你怎么会没女友呢？ How come you don't have a girlfriend?
我不清楚 I don't know.
你是同性恋？ You a flamer?
不是 我心里总想着一个人 No, there's someone I've been thinking about.
经常想起 A lot.
- 一个意淫的对象？- 不 是真人 - Like some fantasy shit? - No, she's real.
是个真人 A person.
- 那问题在哪呢？- 我不清楚 - So what's the problem? - I don't know.
我有很多话想要和她说 就像… I have all these things that I want to say to her, like...
像我会告诉她 她其实是孤零零的一个人 Like how I can tell that she's a lonely person,
即使其他人不觉得 Even if other people can't.
因为 因为我清楚那种感觉 'Cause... 'Cause I know what it feels like
很失落 很孤独 很无形 To be lost and lonely and invisible.
西蒙 想要什么 就去做吧 Simon, you have to go after what you want.
为了想要一条装束 我会不惜去割下大象的尾巴 I would tear the asshole off an elephant for a piece of trim I wanted that bad.
我试着和她说话 I've tried talking to her,
但我不清楚该怎样去做"真我" But I don't know how to be myself.
大概我长期不变地在做"表我" It's like I'm permanently outside myself.
那就像是… 只要你想 Like... Like you could push your hand
你可以把你的手 一直穿过我一样 Straight through me if you wanted to.
对比现在现实中的我 And I couldn't see the type of man that I wanna be
我都不知道自己想要成为怎样的人 Versus the type of man I actually am.
我知道 我在努力 And I know that I'm doing it,
但我没有能力做到 我需要做的那样 But I'm incapable of doing what needs to be done.
我的情况就像木头奇遇记 I'm like Pinocchio.
我是个小木人 I'm a wooden boy,
不是个真人 Not a real boy.
这对我很致命 And it kills me.
- 嘿 没关系 - 他和我是一起的 - Hey, it's okay. - He's with me.
噢 请进 Oh. Please.
所有詹姆斯的朋友就是我的朋友 Any friend of James's is a friend of mine.
我甚至没有为那做补偿 真的 I'm not even making that up, really.
噢 哈瑞斯 你抽时间看了那份报告了吗？ Oh, Harris, did you get a chance to take a look at that report yet?
噢 好的 谢谢 不 不是现在 Ah, good, thank you. No, not now.
还有 鲁道夫 不必急着拿咖啡 And, uh, Rudolph, no rush on the coffee.
我想小睡一下什么的 I'll take a nap or something.
别忘了身份转换 J
- 什么转换 - 什么换身份？ - What switch? - What switch?
身份转换 你去代我考能力测试 The switch. You're taking the aptitude test for me.
我们昨晚说好的 身份转换啊 We-we went through all this last night, the switch.
- 别再说什么"身份转换"了 - 你说过帮我的 - Please stop saying "the switch." - You said you would help me
你会帮我解决这沉闷的办公室工作的 就像这次测试 With all this boring office-work crap like this test.
我还有报告要完成 I've got reports to finish.
我现在离开了我的岗位 我得去教梅兰妮了 I am out of my booth. I have to teach Melanie.
就去考试嘛 我帮你做一个小时保姆 Just take the test. I'll babysit for an hour.
- 你知道我们在这做什么吗？- 知道什么？ - Do you even know what we do here? - What's to know?
要是我们被抓到怎么办？ What if we get caught?
我们怎么会被抓到？我们的样貌都一样 Well, how will we get caught? We have the same face.
你现在得去翻阅你的试卷 You may now turn over your paper.
看着这两个屏幕 Look at the two screens
根据序列辨认下一个数字 And identify the next figure in the sequence.
我学校的那些男孩 都很幼稚 相当不成熟 All the boys in my school are so childish, so immature.
不 无非就是一批爆发的荷尔蒙罢了 No, nothing but a batch of raging hormones.
就像爸爸想我和他朋友的儿子约会一样 It's like daddy wanted me to go on a date with his friend's son.
就仅仅因为我们年纪相同 但这不意味着… Like just 'cause we're the same age doesn't mean
- 我们之间会有共鸣 - 嗯 是的 - We have anything in common. - Mm-hmm, no.
真正的心灵羁绊 或者找到你的灵魂伴侣 It's no substitute for a real spiritual connection
是没有任何东西能替代的 Or... Or finding your soul mate.
我不清楚你那事 我总觉得心智成熟… I don't know, I've always felt that emotional maturity
和年纪成熟毫无关系吧 Is totally unrelated to material age.
我仅仅对真实的人感兴趣 I'm just interested in the real person.
- 你喝咖啡吗？- 不 - Do you drink coffee? - No.
想试试吗？ Would you like to try one?
- 完成了吗？- 是的 对不起 - Finished already? - Yes, sorry.
你认为我什么时候会知道成绩 When do you think you'll have the results?
为了你 马上可以 For you, right away.
但你得了解 这些什么数据记录… But you need to realize that data entry
和样本以及码表 还有素材… And collection and computers and stuff,
都能变得很妖艳 这里面带有浪漫… It can be sensual. It does have a romance.
而且还可以很性感 所有这些生命 我们记录 It can be sexy. All these lives that we're recording,
他们的希望 他们的梦想 他们的爱慕… Their hopes, their dreams, their loves...
外面的每个人 既分离又联系着 Each person out there, apart yet connected.
我们给以这些无面者不朽的名声 We're giving these faceless people immortality.
哇噢 Wow.
你看待它的方式真奇特 That's an amazing way of looking at it.
詹姆斯 成绩优异啊 These results are off the charts, James.
我就知道我们请对人了 I knew we hired the right man, I just knew it.
谢谢 先生 Thank you, sir.
那桌子的孩子去哪了？ Where is the kid from that desk?
他来公司有好一阵了 我就告诉你啊 He's been here a while; just between you and me,
- 他那人印象不好 - 我相信当中是有原因的 - He hasn't impressed. - I'm sure there must be some explanation.
为能力有限的员工挺身而出 Sticking up for a co-worker even though he has limited ability...
我喜欢 非常令人钦佩 I like that. Very admirable.
- 怎样了？- 你去了哪？ - So? - Where were you?
- 我成绩怎样了？- 你得了个A - How did I do? - You aced it.
- 噢 我就知道 - 我告诉过你一小时内要回来的 - Oh! I knew it. - I told you to be back an hour ago.
噢 别担心 那老人是个笨蛋 Oh, don't worry about it, the old man's an idiot.
我们就快玩转这地方了 We are gonna be running this place.
好的 我走了 好让你… All right, so I will leave you to finish up
理清思路 完成工作 And get out of your hair.
她去哪了？她在这 Where is she? There she is!
噢 你逮住我了 Oh, you got me.
你逮到我了 You got me.
我修好我的打印机了 这真是件好事 And it's a good thing I fixed my printer.
只是这得费了点劲 Just used a little elbow grease,
因此我不需要经常下去你那了 So I won't be needing to come down as much.
当你把它们一起摩擦时 听起来像蛐蛐在叫 When you rub them together they usually sound like crickets,
- 但是… 我浪费了俩杯子 - 很抱歉 - But... I've lost it. - And I'm sorry
我为那晚上校的舞会上失约了感到抱歉 I missed you at the colonel's ball the other night.
- 我想他们换了杯子 - 好了 回去工作吧 - I think they've changed the cups. - Well, back to work.
嗯 这真奇怪 Hmm. Strange.
- 嘿 那挺好的 - 我不清楚 - Hey, that went great! - I don't know.
欲擒故纵 你用了那个… Leave her wanting more. Did you use the line
"费了点劲"的方法吗？这很挑逗哦 About the elbow grease? That's erotic.
好了 一个星期内 你就可以把她追到手了 Okay, within a week you're going to get hand on boob.
这很有希望 That is a promise.
我们按照计划进行 可以吗？不再联系 Now we stick to the plan, okay? No contact.
突然对她冷漠一段日子 可不？ Cold turkey for a few days. All right?
好的 好的 她一定在看着你 Yeah yeah, she's definitely looking at you.
虽说你在舞会上有小小挫折 但她现在会想… You had a little setback at the ball, but now she's going
"为什么没西蒙下来看我？为什么他总是那么神秘？" "how come Simon hasn't been down to see me? Why is he being all mysterious?
"他杰出的脑袋又再想着什么呢？" What's going on in that magnificent mind of his?"
- 你当真认为他在看我？- 是的 - Do you really think she's looking at me? - Yeah.
- 好了 现在舔下你的嘴唇 - 哦 什么？ - All right, now lick your lips. - Yeah. What?
这将暗示一个潜意识的性爱信号 It sends out a subliminal sexual signal.
露出舌头 但是小心点 Show the tongue, but be careful
别做得像蜥蜴一样 快做 Not to look like a lizard. Go.
好了 现在 Yeah, now.
- 我觉得这有点傻 - 我们开始吧 - I feel so stupid. - Here we go.
哦… 哦 Oh... Oh.
我站在这里可以吗？ Is that okay if I stand here?
- 是的 可以 - 嗯 - Yes, it is. - Hmm.
我在想 我们还是找个时间见面吧 So I was thinking maybe we should meet up sometime.
就你和我 Just you and me.
显然 这会令你不舒服 This is obviously making you uncomfortable.
- 我很想知道他是否提及了我 - 没 没有 - I was wondering if he mentioned me. - No, it isn't.
- 当你说从未遇过像詹姆斯那样的人时 - 是啊 - When you say you've never met anyone like James... - Yes.
- 我从未遇过像詹姆斯那样的人 - 我觉得很难应付 - I've never met anyone like James. - I find that hard to process.
- 这有什么很难应付的？- 他有什么独特的？ - What's hard to process about it? - What is so unique about him?
- 我不知道 - 试着去想一下 - I don't know. - Try to think.
- 他有一些特质 - 是 但你也有 - He has something. - Yes, okay, but you've
你都没和他说过话 那你怎么知道他是否有一些特质 Never even spoken to him, so how can you know if he has something?
我认为通过观察 你可以知道 I think you can tell by looking at someone.
- 通过观察一个人？我不明… - 是啊 操 - By looking at someone? I don't under... - Yes, fuck!
- 我会自己告诉他 - 我们别这样做了 那没用 - I'll tell him myself. - Let's not do that. That won't work.
- 我要奋不顾身了 我其实很脆弱 - 我知道 - I'm putting myself on the line, I'm vulnerable... - I understand that.
- 我想你会帮忙的吧 - 我不打算去欺骗 - I thought you might wanna help. - I didn't mean to impose.
没人用刀子架在你脖子上 你不一定得和他说 No knife to your throat so don't worry about it.
- 不 我会告诉他的 让我来说吧 - 真的？ - No no, I wanna tell him. Please let me. - Really?
- 是的 我会和他说的 - 你确定？ - Yes, I will tell him. - Are you sure?
- 确定 - 天啊 谢谢你 - Yes. - My god, thank you.
- 谢谢 - 太好了 谢谢你 - Thank you. - That's great, thank you.
- 好的 - 嗯 谢谢 呃… - Okay. - Um, thanks, er...
- 西蒙 - 西蒙 对不起 - Simon. - Simon. I'm sorry.
我有点激动不安了 但那很好 谢谢你 I'm just flustered, but that's great, thank you.
- 你的手平时也这么暖吗？- 很经常 - Are your hands normally this warm? - Quite often.
嗯 你认为我们的食物什么时候会来？ Hmm. And when did you think our food will arrive?
通常还要点时间 It normally takes awhile.
我不能说我很惊讶 I can't say I'm surprised,
但我想这是件好事 But I think this is a good thing.
我们会再约会 你扮作我去 We'll make a date and you can go as me.
- 我会给你做些训练 - 你觉得这符合道德吗？ - I'll give you more coaching. - Do you think that's ethical?
呃 别胡思乱想了 Er, don't take this the wrong way,
但是 我觉得 第一次约会… But I think it's unlikely you'll be able
就到达不道德的情况是不太可能的 To get into an unethical situation on a first date.
"不道德" 那真可爱 "unethical," that's very sweet.
当你和一个女人一起走路或站着时 When you're walking with a woman or standing next to one,
你得把你的手放到他们背的下面 别放到臀部 You wanna put your hand on their lower back, not the ass...
有时这会令他们很不安… 得放到臀部之上 They sometimes get upset about that... But just above it.
这表示你对她感兴趣 但你也可以在楼梯间随时推她下去 It shows you're interested, but you can push them down the stairs at any moment.
- 为什么？- 因为你取得了优势 - Why? - Because you've got leverage.
- 等下 这里？- 停 别 这样很娘 - So wait, here? What? - Stop that. That's gay.
- 但是刚才你都这样对我做 - 是 但那是我 - But you just did it to me. - Yes, but it was me.
- 你看出有什么区别吗？- 噢 - Do you see the difference? - Oh.
你不能做得很娘 还有不许吃雪糕筒 You can't be doing anything gay. No ice-cream cones.
- 我喜欢雪糕 - 那是很味道很好 - I like ice cream. - It's delicious.
雪糕杯是很好 但在雪糕筒就很娘 Ice cream is fine in a cup, but in a cone is gay
- 除非那时你和女的在一起吃 - 还有别的吗？ - Unless you're with a woman at the time. - Anything else?
不要和别的男人一起骑摩托车 No riding on a motorcycle with another man.
但不包括 你们边骑车边丢手雷… Exceptions are drive-by shootings, bomb throwings
还边扫射那种 除此以外 其他都很娘 And purse snatchings. Anything else is gay.
- 你很懂这些啊 - 知己知彼而已 - You know a lot about this. - Defense wins championships.
你得告诉他们你任何时候都很出色 You need to tell them how great you are all the time,
- 这意味着吹牛 - 如果他们戳穿了呢？ - Which means make things up. - What if they find out?
吹些难查实的牛 例如你以前是回力球队队长什么的 Make it hard to research, like you were the captain of a jai-alai team
或者是海军的旅长之类的 Or a brigadier general in the navy. Something like that.
我认为没人会信这些咯 I don't think anybody would believe that.
那就转换话题并否认任何事 Then change the subject and deny everything.
我不知道那还是不是我了 I just don't know if that's me.
那正是它的好处所在 That's why it's so good.
说点什么吧 Just say something.
我曾经是奥运游泳选手 I used to be an olympic swimmer.
去厕所 立刻 Go to the bathroom now.
抱歉 离开下 Excuse me. I'm sorry.
- 搞什么？- 我不能这样 - What the fuck? - I can't do this
你这样在我耳边喊叫 我好别扭 With you shouting in my ear like that.
如果你按我说的做 会很好的 This would be fine if you'd do what I tell you.
把我的膝盖伸到她大腿间那样？我不能做那种事 Like jam my knee between her thighs? I can't do things like that.
我懂了 这就是你孤独终老的原因 I know, that's why you're gonna die alone.
对不起 是很残酷 我只是… Sorry, that was cruel. I'm just...
真为你感到失意 I'm just so frustrated for you.
把你的外套给我 我帮你平息风波 可不？ Look, just give me your jacket. I'll patch things up, okay?
- 对不起 - 别抱歉 - I'm sorry. - Don't be sorry.
不 我把这事搞砸了 No, I am. I've screwed this up.
你也不能控制的 你不擅长这些而已 You can't help it. You're just not good at this.
- 我懂 - 我知道你懂 给我外套 - I know. - I know you know. Give me your jacket.
等下 你想换桌子吗？ Wait, did you move tables?
不是 No.
- 嘿 你干什么？- 我要走了 不行吗？ - Hey, what are you doing? - I'm leaving, is that okay?
别啊 为什么？ No, why?
* ...blue blue, blue chateau... *
麻烦把它挂回衣架 谢谢 Just put it back on the hanger, thank you.
* ...blue blue, blue chateau... *
* ...blue blue, blue chateau *
* blue blue blue blue blue blue *
* chateau... *
打搅了 Excuse me.
你看见一个长得很像我的人进来吗 Did you see a man who looks exactly like me
- 身边还带着个女孩的 - 你开玩笑啊 - Walk in here with a woman? - This boy's not serious.
- 宾客得登记 - 我不是宾客 - Visitors have to sign in. - I'm not a visitor.
不 我得挂了 我真的得挂电话了 No, I have to go. No, I really have to go.
好的 我得挂了啊 Okay, but I have to go.
是 我先挂了 Yeah, I have to go.
不 不是 我真的要挂了 那很好 No, it isn't, I need to go. It's fine.
我在工作啊 I'm at work.
好的 Okay.
你好 嗯 我是清楚规矩的 Hi. Uh, I know the policy,
但我的打印机真的又坏了 所以… But my printer is actually broken again, so.
- 这月业绩怎样？- 汉娜 那个鬼祟的家伙又来了 - How's your growth? - Hannah, the creepy guy's here again.
是啊 Yeah.
- 你好 鬼祟的家伙 - 嘿 汉娜 - Hi, creepy guy. - Hey, Hannah.
我刚和你同事说了 我其实知道规矩 I was just telling your colleague that I know the policy,
但我的打印机真的又坏掉了 But my printer is actually broken again.
- 我还以为你费了点劲已经把它修好了 - 是的 - Oh, I thought you fixed it with elbow grease. - Yes.
要我打电话让人来修理吗？你桌面电话几号？ Want me to call someone up to fix it? What's your desk number?
- 你好 有人的打印机坏了 - 不 不 不 - Hi, I'm with somebody whose printer is broken. - Oh no no. No no.
不 不 我只想快点要份复印件而已 No no no no, I actually need the copy pretty urgently, yeah.
呃… 是给上校的一份重要报告 Uh... It's a report of special importance to the colonel.
他对我最近的调查非常感兴趣 He's taken a particular interest in my findings lately.
我实际上还没当面见过他 I haven't actually met him in person,
但是我想 他应该清楚我的工作 因此 可能 我… But I think he knows a lot about my work, so maybe I'll just...
噢 我想起了 Oh, that reminds me,
你和詹姆斯约会了 是吧？ You had your date with James, did you?
昨天晚上吗？ Was that last night?
你还想复印吗？ Did you want me to photocopy that?
是的 麻烦了 这正是我来的原因 Yes, please. That is why I'm here.
一份复印 One copy.
- 所以怎样了？- 什么怎样了？ - So how'd it go? - How did what go?
和詹姆斯 我只是想八卦下 With James. I just wanted to ask
因为今天早上在火车上没见到你 'Cause I didn't see you on the train this morning.
并不是我有在火车上遇见你的习惯什么 Not that I'm in the habit of seeing you on the train,
我只想八卦下 毕竟是我介绍的嘛 But I wanted to ask 'cause I made the introduction.
- 谢谢你的牵的红线 - 我想确定下… - Thanks for the introduction. - I wanted to make sure...
他有没有占我便宜？ That he didn't take advantage of me?
他乘虚而入了吗？ Did he?
有吗？因为我觉得我有责任… Do that? 'Cause then I'd feel responsible
- 因为是我做的媒人 - 你真好人 - 'cause I made the introduction. - That's very kind of you.
- 那 你还好吧？- 我很好 - So you're okay? - I'm okay.
好的 嗯 那就好 谢谢 Okay, good. Then that's fine. Thank you.
你要是还好 那么 我就安心了 That's a relief, actually, to me. That's relieved me,
因为所有事都是我张罗的 嗯 谢谢你 Because I made the introduction is all. Thank you, good.
猜猜我是谁 Guess who.
噢 天啊 是梅兰妮 你好梅兰妮 Oh god. This is Melanie. Hi, Melanie.
- 我们见过了 - 见过吗？ - We've met. - Have we?
嗯 帕帕多普洛斯让我教她 Yeah. Papadopoulos asked me to tutor her.
- 他是我见过最好的老师 - 谢谢 - He's the best teacher I've ever had. - Thank you.
- 我学了很多 - 她也是个好学生 - I'm learning a lot. - Well, she's a good student.
乖孩子 我们回去上课了啊 Pupil, so. So we'll get back to work.
学了很多 A lot.
好了 Okay.
实际上我不应该在这的 但我有份报告 I'm not actually meant to be here, but I have a report
我觉得帕帕多普洛斯先生会很有兴趣 That I think would be of interest to Mr. Papadopoulos.
抱歉 我的名字是西蒙·詹姆斯 Sorry, my name is Simon James,
但我没带证件 也没带补充证件 But I don't have my I.D. Or my supplementary I.D.
唯一还没有一致的事情 等一下啊 The only thing it hasn't been is consistent. I'll be one moment.
这就是我和你说过的那份报告 This is the report I was telling you about.
干的好 詹姆斯 Great work, James!
这种主动工作的态度 我喜欢 That's the type of initiative I like.
谢谢 先生 我觉得作为员工 我们就该… Oh, thank you, sir. I just think a man should do
在工作上 应该尽我们所能做到最好 The best he can possibly do at the work he's doing.
- 可是 先生… - 我不知道我付薪水给你干嘛的 - But, sir, I... - I don't know what I'm paying you for.
- 嗯 - 他刚来就有好表现 你怎么不学他呢？ - Yeah. - This guy just started. Why can't you work like that?
- 对哦 我新手 - 先生 我得澄清下 我… - I just started. - Sir, I think I have to make something clear here. I...
怎样 说啊 Use words.
小子 我不是对你发脾气 Look, I'm not angry with you, son,
我只是想你提高下你的绩效而已 I just hope you can raise the level of your performance.
哎呀 你怎么不和詹姆斯一起工作呢？ Hell! Why don't you work with James here?
你看看是否能帮一下他吧 See if you can help him put something together.
好的 我乐意这样 I would really like that.
对了 帕先生 那真是个好主意 Yeah, Mr. P, that's a fantastic idea.
我是个好员工 我… I'm a good worker. I...
这位是 詹姆斯·西蒙 So this is the great James Simon.
这是我以前最最欢的歌 This used to be my favorite song.
这里没播歌啊 There's no song playing.
而且你讨厌音乐 And you hate music.
我觉得那护士偷了我的内衣 I think the nurse stole my undershirt.
没错 我很讨厌音乐 You're right, I do hate music.
你还是过得不好啊 You're still not right.
割深点吧 Make the cut deep.
- 打搅了 - 什么事？ - Oh, excuse me, sir? - Yeah?
你知道这里有人携带武器吗？ Did you know that people in here are carrying weapons?
知道 Yeah.
这样的情况有多久了？ How long has this been going on?
好一阵了 A while.
你好 Hello.
汉娜 我是詹姆斯 Hannah, this is James.
上来 我想你了 Come up. I want you.
我希望你别在见汉娜了 I want you to stop seeing Hannah.
- 清楚 - 还有 别再和梅兰妮… - I see. - And I want you to stop messing around
- 鬼混了 - 还有呢？ - With Melanie. - What else?
还有就是 我希望你告诉帕帕多普洛斯 And I want you to tell Papadopoulos that I've been
你到公司之后 一直是我帮你在做事 Doing all your work for you since you got here.
嗯 好吧 Mm-hmm, okay.
那 我会给帕帕多普洛斯看看 Well, I wanna show Papadopoulos
这张你和他女儿一起的照片 This photo of you and his daughter.
- 呃 这… - 这样做你心安吗？ - Oh, well... - How do you sleep?
嗯 我… Yeah, I just...
现在你想想 帕帕多普洛斯会相信谁呢？ Now who do you think Papadopoulos is gonna believe?
是那个他称呼斯坦利的员工呢？ Some dink he still calls Stanley?
抑或是 这个家伙呢？ Or this guy?
詹姆斯·西蒙 高级主管
这样 我要你公寓的钥匙 So I need the key... To your apartment.
要知道 梅兰妮的叫声有点尖 You see, Melanie is a bit of a screamer
还有 我不希望汉娜上来引发另一般景象 And I don't want Hannah coming up and making another scene.
如果我们到你那里 事情就变得简单了 It'll just be easier if we use your place.
现在你是想再看看这照片呢 还是你答应呢？ Now do you need to see the photo again or are you okay?
我也会带其他女人上那的 I'll also be taking other women up there
以防你闻到不同的气味 In case you notice different smells.
嘿 Hey.
我是詹姆斯 I'm James.
起来 Get up.
或是你想像死蛇一样… Or do you wanna die on the ground,
死在地上？ Like a snake?
他在这 There he is.
回归分析 作者西蒙·詹姆斯
- 嘿 你在做什么工作？- 这是私隐 - Hey, what are you working on? - It's private.
请你不要靠着我的工作台 Can you please not lean on my work station?
- 我还需要钥匙 - 不行 - So I need that key again. - No.
- 可一不可再 - 好的 我懂了 - That was it. No more. - All right, I understand.
嘿 帕帕多普洛斯先生 Hey, Mr. Papadopoulos.
西蒙有点东西要给你看看 Simon has something he wanted to show you.
- 噢 钥匙 - 不 不行 - Oh. Key. - No, I can't.
- 钥匙 - 不行 - Key. - No.
钥匙 我还要别的 Key. I have more.
好了 Fine.
我去配多一把 省得以后麻烦 I'll get a copy cut. Save future confusion.
- 嗯 这样就好 - 不 不 对不起 - Well, this better be good. - Oh no no no, I'm sorry.
斯坦利 站起来 让你看看你做出的成绩 You need to step up, Stanley. I wanna see some real work from you.
实际上 我还得点时间才能做完 Actually, I'm working on something at the moment, sir.
- 一些我… - 不要曲解我对你仁慈和善良啊 - Something that I... - Don't mistake my kindness for weakness.
- 西蒙 我觉得詹姆斯有其他女友 - 是的 - Simon, I think that James is seeing someone else. - Yeah.
他告诉我 你有时候在房间用望远镜偷窥我的公寓 And he told me that you sometimes watch my apartment from a telescope in your room,
这事我不介意 真的没关系 Which I'm fine with actually, I don't really mind.
这是一种奇怪的安慰方式 但是… It's kind of reassuring in a strange way, but...
去咖啡厅说吧？那里比较少人 Wanna go to the coffee room? It's a little public.
要是发现他外面那女人是谁 It could be interesting to find out
这事会很有趣 你听说过这事吗？ Who else he's seeing. Are you hearing this?
那意味着 他没有约会你？ Does that mean he's not seeing you?
不是这样 他甚至尝试隐藏它 Not that he's even trying to hide it.
他不是一个好人 He's not a very good guy.
我就知道 我一早就知道的 Which I know and I always have known,
但是却被他这样愚弄 But to be made a fool of by him?
等下 是被一个恶棍愚弄 One second. By a villain.
- 我清楚他是… - 噢 不 这不是你的错 - I knew what he was... - Oh no. It's not your fault.
然而 他说了些 他有多了解我的话 ...then he'd say something about how he knew me,
他说 我是孤独的一个人 That he could tell I was a lonely person,
因为他清楚那种感觉 Because he knew what it was like
很孤独 很失落 很无形 To be lonely and lost and invisible.
就像是… Like...
可以把双手 一直穿过你一样 Like someone could just push their hand straight through you.
我想你肯定不是很理解他 I think you should definitely not see him.
他告诉我 他就像木偶奇遇记那样 He told me he felt like Pinocchio.
- 你读过木偶奇遇记吗？- 没有 - Do you know who Pinocchio is? - No.
他像个小木偶人 被绳索牵制着 He's this wooden boy. He's held up by strings.
他希望变成一个真人 你能理解吗？ He wants to feel like a real boy. Do you understand?
- 不能 - 我感觉就像木偶奇遇记 - No. - I feel like Pinocchio.
好吧 Okay.
如果可以 今晚我能否到你公寓 So is that okay if I come to your apartment tonight?
我知道这样问有点奇怪 但我想亲自看看 I know it's kinda strange to ask but I wanted to see for myself,
我想知道他是否带女孩子回去 You know, if he's taking girls back there.
不 抱歉 这不可能 因为我得工作 No, I'm sorry, that's not possible because I have to work.
- 但是… - 我今晚不想回家 我想在这 - But... - I'm not gonna be home tonight, I'll be here.
没关系 你可以给我你家钥匙 But that's okay, you can just give me your key.
- 我没钥匙 - 你没钥匙？ - I don't have a key. - You don't have a key?
- 没有 - 你没有你家里的钥匙？ - No. - You don't have a key to your own apartment?
- 没有 - 那你怎么进屋？ - No. - How do you get in?
- 我进不去 - 你为什么撒谎？ - I can't get in. - Why are you lying?
我没撒谎 我不知道… I'm not. I just don't know...
监视人是否是个好主意 If it's a good idea to spy on people.
以及… And...
我想你可能会变得有点强迫症 I think you might be becoming a little obsessive.
- 你为什么碰我？- 我没有 - Why are you touching me? - I'm not.
我只是… I just...
并且… Also...
感觉像木偶奇遇记 Feel like Pinocchio.
你是个奸诈的小人 You're a snake.
我可没做什么坏事 I haven't done anything wrong.
你叫什么名字？ What is your name?
我是个宾客 我想要登记 I'm a visitor. I would like to sign in.
你叫什么名字？ What is your name?
我叫西蒙·詹姆斯 My name is Simon James.
员工服务室找你 西蒙·詹姆斯 You're wanted in worker services, Simon James.
嗯 Mmm.
嗯 不幸的小伙 Mmm. Poor chap.
哦 Oh.
- 你不再存在了 - 什么？ - You don't exist any more. - Excuse me?
系统里你已不复存在了 You're no longer on the system.
那再把我录入系统 Well, just put me back in the system.
- 我不能把你录入系统 - 为什么？ - I can't put you back in the system. - Why?
因为你不存在了 我不能把… Because you don't exist. I can't put someone
不存在的人录入系统 Who doesn't exist in the system.
但是我之前曾存在系统中啊 But I used to be in the system.
那不是我们这套系统了 实际上 Not according to the system. In fact,
根据我们系统显示 你从来不存在 According to the system, you've never existed.
- 你们的系统可靠不？- 嘿 我们的系统十分可靠 - How reliable is the system? - Hey, it's completely reliable.
是的 但我之前存在… 我真的存在啊 Yes, but I used to exist... I do exist!
- 我好好的站在这房间里 不是吗？- 又如何？ - I'm standing in this room, aren't i? - And?
- 那我要怎样才能重回系统？- 你需要一张卡 - So how do I get back in the system? - You need a card.
- 对 那你可以给我张新卡吗？- 不行 - Right. So can I please get a new card? - No.
- 为什么？- 因为你不在系统里 - Why? - Because you're not in the system.
那 这样… So, it's... Well...
那就这样了？ So that's it?
就这样了 That's it.
我先走了 你做你自己的安排吧 I'll leave you to make your own arrangements.
- 你还好吧 哥们 - 还好 - You okay, buddy? - Yeah.
- 谢谢 哈瑞斯 - 这件事有点太过火了 - Thanks, Harris. - Yeah, it's gotta be pretty rough on you.
- 是的 我猜也是 - 嗯 我借了本书给你 - Yeah, I guess it is. - I, uh, got you this book.
詹姆斯把你的困难告诉了我们 James told us about your problems.
你得尽快把它看完 You need to read it pronto though;
- 谢谢 - 不客气 - Thanks. - No worries.
嘿 嗯 我很好奇… Hey, ah, I was just wondering...
算了 我可以帮助下你的报告 Yeah, I'll help you with your report.
- 如果你能在明天前完成 - 好的 - If you could have it ready by tomorrow. - Fine.
- 还有 明天是星期五 - 我知道 - And tomorrow's friday. - I know.
因此 还书以及完成报告 So both the book and the report need
- 都是明天的事情 - 好的 - To be finished by tomorrow. - Okay.
星期五 对 噢 还有啊 Friday. Yeah, oh, by the way,
如果你想找詹姆斯 If you're looking for James,
他和帕帕多普洛斯在办公室里 He's in the office with Papadopoulos.
显然 他写的这份关于"怎样提高效率"的报告 Apparently he's written this incredible report
非常的令人惊讶 On how to increase efficiency.
是啊 帕帕也为此折服 Yeah, pap's pretty impressed.
嘿 你他妈的真无聊啊 那什么又是"回归分析"？ Hey, you're fucking boring; what's regression analysis?
噢 这人真不明白事理 Oh, this one is so silly.
听着 两个中国的"处"结婚了 These two chinese virgins get married.
就在婚礼当晚 他们完房了 It's the night of the wedding, they've just finished boning.
那老公就说了"真爽 真是太爽了" And the husband says, "that was great, that was really great.
"还有什么体位你想试的吗？" Is there anything else you'd like to try?"
- 那女的就说… - 帕帕多普洛斯先生？ - And then the woman says... - Mr. Papadopoulos?
- 等一下 - 没关系 - Hold on a sec. - No, it's okay.
那女的就说 "我想试试69式" So the woman says, "I think I would like to try #69."
那老公听了 想了一会 And the guy, he thinks for a second.
然后… 注意了 鲁道夫 接下来你会喜欢的 And... Pay attention, Rudolph, you'll like this.
他说"你想要龙蟠虎踞？" He says, "you want breef with broccori?"
先生 我想和你谈谈 Sir. Sir, I think we need to talk.
你竟敢还敢在我面前出现 You! I can't believe you'd dare.
- 先生 我在这工作 我… - 你变态的 - Sir, I work here and I... - You pervert.
詹姆斯把你和梅兰妮的事都告诉了我 James told me everything about you and Melanie.
鬼都知道她长得漂亮 也都知道她是我女儿 Hell knows she's handsome, she's a Papadopoulos,
但你竟如此滥用一个年轻女孩的信任？ But to abuse a young woman's trust like that?
先生 这人是个冒牌货 Sir, this man is a fraud.
你应该说 他是我们公司一直以来… You should talk! He's the finest employee
- 最优秀的员工 - 噢 谢谢 先生 - We've ever had. - Oh, sir, thank you.
他根本不知道我们这里是做什么的 He doesn't even know what we do here.
呃 这样和那样 Er, this and that.
好啊 那什么是"回归分析"？ Okay, what is regression analysis?
谁帮你考的试？ Who took your test for you?
先生 我报告里已经彻底阐述了这些 Sir, I have been through all of this in the report.
我觉得他需要点帮助 I think maybe he needs some help.
- 他有点发神经 - 不 不 不 - He's gone a little crazy. - No no no no no.
不 先生 这远远比不上 不是这样的 No sir, this cannot stand. No no no no.
离我远点 离我远点 不 不是 Stay away from me. Stay away from me. No no no no.
不 先生 他偷了我的脸 No. No sir, he stole my face.
看着我 看下我 Look at me! Look at me!
看下他 他偷了我的脸 Look at him! He stole my face!
- 你得离开了 - 不 - You need to leave. - No!
你得离开这 滚出去 You do! Get off of me!
斯坦利 Stanley!
- 把鲁道夫的手臂还给他 - 不 不 不 - Give Rudolph his arm back! - No no no no no!
退后 退后 Stay back! Stay back!
不 不 不 No no no. No no no no.
离我远点 我要见上校 Stay away from me! No, I need to see the colonel.
- 斯坦利 我们都爱你 - 我要见上校 - Stanley, we all love you. - I need to see the colonel.
上校会理解的 The colonel will understand.
- 拜托 上校在哪？- 你需要帮忙 - Please, where is the colonel? - You need help.
- 不 我不要帮忙 - 你有什么难处吗？斯坦利 - No, I don't need help. - What's the problem, Stanley?
嘿 你这笨蛋 Hey! You fuckers!
你们根本不知道你们在和谁打交道 You don't know who you're dealing with.
你们根本不知道在和谁打交道 笨蛋 You don't know who you're dealing with, you fuckers.
你他妈的傻瓜 You fucking fucks.
我是一个真人 I am a person.
退后 退后 笨蛋 Stay back! Stay back, you fucks!
你他妈的是傻瓜 You fucking fuckers!
我是个真人啊 I am a person!
我真是存在的 I exist!
敬启者
我已经决定结束我的生命了 因为我已经不复存在了
作为一个人 应该有所作为 而不是像幽魂般无所事事
敬启者 我就像一个幽魂
好了 开始吧 Here we are.
她之前做过这类事情吗？ Has she ever tried anything like this before?
- 没有 - 没有？第一次啊 - No. - No? First timer!
好咚咚 嗯 事情已经发生了 Good stuff. Well, these things happen.
你也不必怪责你自己 You mustn't blame yourself.
她吃了很多避孕药？我听说是避孕药 Was it pills that she took? I heard it was pills.
- 是的 - 是 - Yes. - Yes.
真荒谬 你认为她吃了多少颗避孕药？ Fantastiche. How many pills do you think she swallowed?
我给你选 零到十 十到二十 I have nought to 10, 10 to 20,
二十到三十 三十以上 20 to 30, or 30-plus.
我不知道 我当时没在 I don't know. I wasn't there.
- 如果你猜呢 - 我不打算猜 - If you were to guess. - I'm not going to guess.
- 如果你必须得猜呢 - 我不必去猜 - But if you had to guess. - I don't have to.
- 她没事了吧？- 还得要一会… - Is she going to be okay? - I'll just stick a little
我要再问你几个问题 Question mark on it for the moment.
什么？搞什么？ What? What is it?
整个早上都很糟糕 All bloody morning, you know.
你们结婚多久了？ How long have you two been married?
马丁 能让他出来一下吗？ Would you excuse us, please, martin?
- 詹姆斯先生 能和你说几句吗？- 好的 可以 - Mr. James, can I have a word? - Yeah, that's fine.
我还要在这一直… I'll just keep going with this...
照顾这个天杀的家伙 And take care of this bloody guy!
她之前试过这样做吗？ Has she tried anything like this before?
我想应该没有 No, I don't think so.
- 你们经常吵架吗？- 有时候 - Do you fight a lot? - Sometimes.
我恐怕她流产了 抱歉 I'm afraid to say she's had a miscarriage. I'm sorry.
这是她第一次怀孕吗？ Was it your first pregnancy?
- 是的 - 可喜的是 她身体没什么大碍 - Yes. - The good thing is she's healthy
胎儿还不大 所以她没承受多大的痛苦 And it was very early, so she won't feel too much pain.
事已如此 These things happen.
你也别怪责自己了 You mustn't blame yourself.
你可能会以为 我会感激你 You probably think I should be thankful
感激你送我到医院 但我不会 That you took me to the hospital, but I'm not.
我想去死 I wanted to die
而现在 我恐怕没勇气再去尝试一次 And now I'm afraid I won't have the courage to try again.
你知道我在想什么吗？ Do you wanna know what I think?
我想你也应该自杀 I think that you should kill yourself.
我绝对不会中途阻止你的 I promise I won't try to stop you halfway through.
嗨 嗯 这是给西蒙·詹姆斯… Hi, uh, this is a message for...
的留言 Simon James.
呃 你妈妈今天早上去世了 Uh, your mother passed away this morning
是严重的脑…风 Following a major ce-ree-bral
脑部… S... Ceree-bral?
中… 脑中风 Cere-bral... Cerebral occurrence.
嗯 按照她的遗愿 Um, in accordance with her wishes,
她会在今晚入葬 She's to be buried at night.
如果你想要参加葬礼 If you wish to attend the funeral,
今晚半夜 葬礼会在墓地进行 It starts at midnight at the cemetery
墓地在护理院的后面 不是后面 嗯… To the rear of the home. Not the rear but, um...
墓地在护理院后面 下面的那边直走就是了 To the... Down the side and then towards the rear of the home.
好了 再见 All right. Bye.
尽管我穿过死亡之谷… Yea, though I walk through the valley
但我也无所畏惧… Of the shadow of death I will fear no evil
因为你与我同在 For thou art with me.
- 你的杖 你的竿… - 现在别看 - Thy rod and thy staff... - Don't look now.
它们都会安慰我 ...they will comfort me.
你为我准备筵席… Thou preparest a table before me
你为我抵御敌人 In the presence of mine enemies.
看啊 我们都会帮助你 Look look, we can get you help,
现在是家庭哀悼时候 别来捣乱 But now is a time for family. Just don't engage.
- 你是谁？- 这人他妈是谁？ - Who are you? - Who is this fuck?
你怎么和他长得一样？你们怎么都一个样？ Why have you got his face? Why have you got his face?
别来捣乱 别来捣乱 Just don't engage. Don't engage.
他是神经病吗？你神经病吗？ Is he mental? Are you mental?
- 别来捣乱 - 你在干什么？ - Just don't engage. - What are you doing?
- 好了 - 别碰我 - Okay. - Don't touch me!
- 别捣乱 - 哟喔 - Don't engage. - Oi!
哟喔 Oi!
- 别捣乱 - 别碰我 - Don't engage. - Don't touch me!
这是什么？ What is it?
起来 Get up.
给我站起来 Get off your knees.
噢 Oh.
- 你要去哪里？- 滚开 - Where are you going? - Fuck off!
噢 嘿 詹姆斯 Oh hey, James.
- 噢 天啊 看看你 - 你知道我是谁 对吧？ - Oh my god, look at you. - You know who I am, don't you?
- 你还好吗？- 你认得出我 - Are you okay? - You recognize me.
当然了 西蒙 发生什么事了？ Of course. Simon, what happened to you?
我不想变成一个被绳索操控的傀儡 I don't want to be a boy held up by string.
- 好的 - 好了？ - Okay. - Okay?
再见 Bye.
好的 Yes.
我很好 I'm okay.
就在我所在的位置 That is where I am.
是的 我现在看着他 Yes, I am looking at him now.
他好像想要跳下去了 He is about to jump.
请赶快 Please hurry.
你这样的人很少有啊 There aren't too many like you.
是不是 西蒙？ Are there, Simon?
我想我是唯一的 I'd like to think I'm pretty unique.