这个很简单 你喜欢这家伙 This is an easy one. You love this guy.
我 Me.
拜托 他是个不受人赏识的天才 Come on, he's an underappreciated genius.
仍然觉得是我 Still think it's me.
不是你 It's not you.
再想想 有辆车就是以他名字命名的 Now think, there's a car named after him.
当然啦 Of course there is.
迷你Cooper 说的就是我呢 The Mini Cooper, 'cause it's me.
那这么说呢: How about this:
他是个悲催版的Sheldon Cooper he's a poor man's Sheldon Cooper.
是特斯拉 Oh, Tesla.
特斯拉: 发明家 也是一个汽车品牌
- 嗨 - 嘿! - Hi. - Hey!
- 怎么样? - 不怎么样 - How'd it go? - Oh, not fun.
医生往我的鼻窦里塞了个镜头 The doctor shoved a camera up into my sinuses.
我就在旁边看着 那就像巧克力工厂里的 Yeah, I watched. It was like the scary boat tunnel
可怕河道 in Willy Wonka.
- 他们查出病因了吗? - 嗯 - Did they figure out what's wrong? - Yeah.
是鼻中隔偏移 It's a deviated septum.
矫正手术非常简单 The surgery to correct it is simple.
我下周去做手术 He's gonna do it next week.
你干嘛要去做手术? Why would you have surgery?
因为我没法呼吸 Because I can't breathe.
我会打呼噜 还得了鼻窦炎... I snore, I get sinus infections...
行了 别说了 他归我管 Yeah, back off, he's all mine.
但这些情况并没有危及到生命 But you don't have a life-threatening condition.
你干嘛要冒手术的风险呢? Why would you take the risk of surgery?
Sheldon 这是例行程序 Sheldon, it's a routine procedure.
我听你抱怨过他打呼噜的事 I've heard you complain about his snoring.
但... 没错 刚开始五六年是抱怨过 But... Yes, for the first five or six years,
但我已经习惯了 but I've gotten used to it.
这能助我入睡 It helps me sleep.
他就像是个粘液驱动的白噪音发生器 He's like my mucus-powered white noise machine.
Sheldon 我会去做手术 没什么大不了的 Sheldon, I'm gonna get the surgery, it's no big deal.
不讨论了 End of story.
好吧 我也不想说这个了 Very well. I'm done talking about it.
- 谢谢 - 我想游戏轮到你猜了吧 - Thank you. - I believe it was your turn in the game.
好的 Okay.
我看看... Let's see...
这个人因其从未 Oh, this person is most famous
让他的鼻子接受过 for never having gotten
选择性外科手术 也没有在 his nose mutilated with elective surgery
自己是个丑陋 可笑的怪物的阴影里 and never living the rest of his life in the shadows
度过余生而著名 as a hideous, disfigured freak.
我觉得你应该给个更好的提示 I think you could give a better clue.
才不要 I don't.
我都不确定这是个人名 还是打错字母了 I'm not even sure if that's a person or a typo.
* 宇宙一度又烫又稠密 * * Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state *
* 140亿年前终于爆了炸... 等着瞧! * * Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! *
* 地球开始降温 * * The Earth began to cool *
* 自养生物来起哄 穴居人发明工具 * * The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools *
* 我们建长城 我们建金字塔 * * We built the Wall We built the pyramids *
* 数学 自然科学 历史 揭开神秘 * * Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery *
* 一切由大爆炸开始 * * That all started with a big bang *
生活大爆炸 第八季第9集
-=耐卡影音论坛出品=- 由圣城家园字幕组译制 更多精彩美剧请登录www.ncar.cc/bbs欣赏
协调: 影子 时间轴: pisces夜 校对: UU2222222了
翻译: 酱油影 没有凤梨酥了 Astral FrankJun Navy Seal
好了 干嘛? Okay, why?
我在听你打呼噜 I'm listening to you snore.
还在想没有了呼噜声我怎么睡觉 I'm wondering how I'll ever sleep without it.
如果这能助你入睡 If it helps you sleep,
那你干嘛像个白化食虫人一样 then why are you sitting here staring at me
做在床边盯着我看? like the albino boogeyman?
Leonard... 你真的要骂我吗? Really, Leonard... insults?
我都在你衣柜里躲了两个小时 After I spent two hours in your closet,
就等你睡着呢 waiting for you to fall asleep?
你有什么问题? What's your problem?
如果手术成功了 呼噜声就没了 If the surgery is successful, the snoring is gone.
如果你手术过程中死了... And if you die during surgery...
呼噜声也没了 the snoring is gone.
听上去好像无论哪种 我都总算能休息一下了 It sounds like either way, I finally get some rest.
我要对你坦白 Leonard I have to be honest with you, Leonard,
我真的很担心 I'm truly worried.
我... 我说过了 没什么好担心的 I... I told you, there's nothing to worry about.
我做了些调查 Well, I've been doing some research
我发现每七十万人里就有一个 and I've learned that one in 700,000 people
会死于全身麻醉 die from general anesthesia.
哥们... 那你有没有发现这就意味着 Buddy, w... Do you realize that that also means
有六十九万九千九百九十九个没死的? 699,999 people don't die?
我想就是这样 I suppose that's true.
你真是个不懂装懂的家伙 You're such a glass half-full kind of guy.
我会很想你的 I'm going to miss that.
我父母结婚四十周年的纪念日快到了 Oh, so, my, uh, parents' 40th anniversary's coming up
我想不出该送他们什么礼物 and I can't think of a thing to get them.
该死 你能想象 Damn, can you imagine
跟一个人结婚四十年吗? being married to someone for 40 years?
不用想象了 Not anymore.
所以有什么主意吗? Anyway, any ideas on a gift?
他们都喜欢什么东西? Well, what are some of the things they like?
他们以前喜欢去听孟买交响乐团的演奏 They used to like going to the Mumbai Symphony,
不过去年我老妈觉得他们是在放录音 but last year my mom thought they were phoning it in.
后来我爸说从他们俩的婚姻来看 Then my dad said based on their
她应该相当了解假装这件事 love life, she should know about phoning it in.
- 他真这么说的? - 他们不是当时说的 - He said that to her? - Well, they weren't speaking at the time,
是他后来让一个仆人告诉我妈的 so he had a servant say it to her.
哦 我可以做点什么送给他们 Oh, maybe I could make a gift for them.
我知道你们都超喜欢我做的杯垫的 I know how much you guys love the coasters I made for you.
离婚的话杯垫归你 They're yours in the divorce.
嘿 你忙什么呢? Hey. What're you working on?
还记得我跟你说 如果你去做手术的话 Remember when I said if you went through
你有七十万分之一的死亡的可能吗? with your surgery, there was a one-in-700,000 chance of dying?
所以呢...? Yeah...?
我又仔细地计算了一下 Well, I've been crunching the numbers,
到目前为止 我像收缩括约肌一样 and so far, I've gotten your probability of death
将你的死亡率 all the way to a sphincter-tightening
精确缩小到了三百分之一 one in 300.
你说的太是时候了 Great timing.
我正好该去检查括约肌了 My "check sphincter" light just went on.
Leonard 你要是对医生的 Leonard, what if you have an allergic reaction
- 橡胶手套过敏怎么办? - 我从来 - to the surgeon's latex gloves? - I'm not
不对橡胶过敏 allergic to latex.
那你刷碗的时候为什么不戴 Well, then why don't you wear the rubber gloves
我买给你的橡胶手套? I bought for you to do the dishes?
就像我也不带发带和围裙是一个道理 For the same reason I don't wear the apron or the hair net.
好吧 那癫痫病呢? Fine. What about epilepsy?
我又没有癫痫病 I don't have epilepsy, either.
你虽然没有 但是医生可能会有啊 对吧? You don't, but the surgeon might, hmm?
他手一抖 你的颈动脉可就要遭殃了 And your carotid artery is just one shaky scalpel away
到时候你的动脉血 就会像迪士尼的喷泉那样喷涌而出 from becoming the dancing fountain at Disneyland.
Sheldon 你知不知道开车都比做手术危险? Sheldon, do you realize that driving is riskier than surgery?
我知道 我把开车去医院的风险也算进来了 I do. I have the drive to the hospital right here.
而且还得先保证 That is if you make it
你下楼的时候没有从楼梯上摔下去 to the car without falling down the stairs.
别想让我带你下去 我做的够多的了 And don't expect me to carry you, I do that enough in life.
大哥 我... 我知道你是担心我 Buddy, I... I get that you're worried about me
我... 我也很开心你对我这么好 但是我不会死的 and I... I appreciate that, but I'm not going to die.
你又不知道 You don't know that.
我真的知道我不会死于被彗星砸死 I do know that it won't be from an asteroid strike.
你知道还有谁说过这句话吗? You know who else said that?
几亿年之前在你汽车汽缸附近 Every cocky T. rex currently swimming around
游泳的霸王龙 in the gas tank of your car.
就算... 有彗星撞地球 I... If there was an asteroid strike,
你不是也会死嘛? wouldn't you die, too?
那可没准... 我这么聪明又机智 I don't know... I'm smart and scrappy,
应该会想到办法逃命吧 I think I'd find a way.
这样好了... 反正手术在一周之后 Tell you what... the surgery's not for a week,
我再好好想想 I'll think about it.
谢了 在你考虑的同时 我还想告诉你 Thank you. And while you're thinking about it,
如果你打算在季风季节在尼加拉瓜做手术的话 if you have the surgery in Nicaragua during
我基本上能保证 monsoon season, I can practically
你必死无疑 guarantee your death.
好 好的 Yes. Okay.
我... 我懂的 I... I understand.
当然 好的 Of course, yes.
我明天再打给你们 I'll call you tomorrow.
再见 Bye.
我发现这所Burbank的击剑学校 So I found this fencing school in Burbank
有绝地武士的培训课程 that has a Jedi class.
只要你不介意 And if you're cool being the only adults there,
全学校只有你一个成年人 they said they are.
哥们 我爸妈刚离婚了 Dude, my parents just split up.
- 什么?! - 刚才是我爸的电话 - What?! - Uh, that was my dad on the phone.
他搬出去了 He moved out.
天啊... 真抱歉 Oh, my God, I... I'm sorry.
要是你心情不好的话 我们可以先不出去了 I mean, if you're not up to it, we don't have to go out,
- 就在这里玩也挺好 - 不是 - we can just hang here. - No,
我没事 这没什么大不了的 it's fine. It's not that big a deal.
只要他们高兴就好 As long as they're happy, I'm happy.
而且以后回家的时候 And when I get to see them for the holidays,
我就可以过两次光明节了... I'll get to celebrate Diwali twice...
两个家一边一次 one at each house.
那就是两个光明节啊 That's double the Diwali.
你确定你没事? You sure you're okay?
我没事的 I'm okay.
你看起来不像没事的样子啊 You don't look okay.
我怎么可能没事? 我的家庭破碎了 How can I be okay? I come from a broken home.
医生说我差不多十点就能出来了 The doctor said I should be out of surgery by 10:00.
好哒 Okay.
Sheldon真的相信我们在公共游泳池游泳? And Sheldon really believes we're at a public swimming pool?
他当时正忙着算泳池里漂浮着 He was so busy figuring out how many parts per million
百万分之多少的尿液 他都没怀疑公共泳池这事 of urine we'd be floating around in, he didn't even question it.
要百万分之八 18 parts per million.
他还敢去呢 And he's still doing it.
没事 我很高兴能带你去上班 Don't worry about that. I'm happy to take you to work.
那真是谢谢了 Well, thank you.
Leonard从来不让我在车上吃薯条 And Leonard never lets me have French toast sticks in the car.
我不能让我的手指沾上糖浆 I can't have syrupy fingers,
但他可以在马桶里仰泳 but he can do the backstroke in a toilet bowl.
他们在做运动就很棒啊 It's nice they're getting exercise.
不过我现在想想 Although now that I think about it,
Leonard从来不会不穿泳衣 Leonard would never go swimming in public
去公共场合游泳的啊 without his swim shirt.
他肯定带了 I'm sure he brought it.
不 去年 在魔法山 No, but last year, at Magic Mountain,
他被太阳晒伤了 he got such a bad sunburn,
我们都得把他的衣服切破救他出来 we had to cut him out of it.
他估计买了件新的 吃早饭吧 He probably got a new one. Finish your breakfast.
你看 我的仪表盘上还有很大一块 Look, there's an entire section of my dashboard
没有沾上糖浆呢 that doesn't have any syrup on it.
你表现得很奇怪 为什么? You're acting odd. Why?
我一直都很奇怪 地球人都知道 I'm odd all the time, everyone knows that.
昨晚 Just last night,
我想试试看在我嘴里能放多少蚕豆 I tried to see how many fava beans I could fit in my mouth.
跟我说实话 Tell me the truth.
- 28 - 能不能认真点 - 28. - Come on.
五十六 Fifty-six.
Amy啊! Amy!
怎么了? What's going on?
好吧 All right.
别不开心 但是... Don't get upset, but...
Leonard预约时间提前了 an earlier appointment opened up for Leonard
他现在正在做手术呢 and he's getting the surgery right now.
我知道了 I see.
带我去看Leonard Take me to Leonard.
去上班吧 他没事的 Just go to work, he'll be fine.
Amy 他是我最好的朋友 如果你不带我去 Amy, he's my best friend, and if you don't take me,
我就自己去了 I'm going there anyway.
好吧 Fine.
你那么在乎他挺温馨的 It's sweet that you care about him so much.
我在乎他 I do.
而且 我绝对原谅不了自己 And I wouldn't be able to forgive myself,
如果他有什么不测的时候 我没有在他身边 if something happened to him and I wasn't at his bedside
跟他说 "我早和你说了吧" to say, "I told you so."
你好 Hello.
我们游泳很开心 We had a really nice swim.
哦 别说了 Oh, stop it.
我想医疗中心一定已经治疗过 I assume this medical center's already treated
你上次裤子着火留下的烧伤了 the burns on your bottom from the recent pants fire.
因为我是个骗子骗子? 'Cause I'm a liar, liar?
那得要看消防局长怎么看了 That's for the fire marshal to determine.
你一定要告诉他吗 You had to tell him?
他把我搞得很累 He wore me down.
我也分心了 And I was distracted.
他今天身上多涂了点婴儿爽身粉 He has on extra baby powder today.
他没事吧? Is he okay?
他还在手术中 He's still in surgery.
好吧 Very well.
他会没事的 He's gonna be all right.
好黏啊 That is sticky.
好了 我们说点 Come on, let's talk about something
手术之外的事吧 other than the surgery.
好主意 That's a good idea.
Penny 你和Leonard有没有讨论过葬礼安排? Penny, did you and Leonard ever discuss funeral arrangements?
我想她是想聊些开心的话题 I think she meant something a little happier.
我想我们可以把它安排成一次庆祝活动 I suppose we could try to make it a celebration,
但他英年早逝啊 but he died so young.
- 敲门 敲门 - 嗨 - Knock, knock. - Hi
嘿 你们怎么来了? Hey, What brings you by?
哦... Oh...
"木"什么事哦 muffin much.
告诉过你了... 一点都不好笑 Told you... not funny.
他没笑只是 He's just not laughing
因为他心情很... "蓝"莓哦 because he's feeling... blue berry.
这人笑点真高 Tough crowd.
对不起 I'm sorry.
这很好 谢谢 This is very sweet. Thanks.
那么 你怎么样了? So, how you doing?
好点了吧 我猜 Better. I guess
这消息比我想象得更让我吃惊 the news just hit me a lot harder than I expected.
当然 Well, of course.
如果我父母离婚的话我会异常难过的 I would be devastated if my parents split up.
为什么? 你爸都不怎么和你妈说话 Why? Your father barely speaks to your mother.
至少他还陪在她身边 Well, at least he stuck around,
不像你爸 他就直接溜了 not like your dad, who just took off.
你看得出么 我们是来让你更开心的 As you can see, we're here to cheer you up.
对不起 Raj Sorry, Raj.
你知道你父母到底怎么了吗? Do you have any sense of what happened with your folks?
我想 渐渐地 他们开始恨对方了吧 I think, over time, they started to resent each other,
而他们选择去隐藏压抑那些让他们烦心的东西 and instead of talking about the things
而不是通过谈话去解决它们 that bothered them, they kept it bottled up,
于是怨恨就越积越多 and the hate just grew.
他们过得那么不开心真是遗憾 It's a shame they spent all that time unhappy.
但有时候呢 But sometimes,
你也"木"能为力 there's muffin you can do about it.
明明很好笑的好不好? You get it, right?
哦 你还给他买东西了 真贴心 Oh, it's nice you got him that.
哦 这不是给Leonard买的 不是 Oh, this isn't for Leonard, no.
是Amy给我买的 Amy bought it for me.
他推旋转门进来的时候把脚趾头给磕到了 Stubbed his toe on the revolving door on the way in.
你知道那些讨厌的东西让我犯晕 You know those confounded things make me dizzy.
谁叫你一直在门里转着走的? Who told you to keep going around?
在大厅里有颗很大的植物 There was a large plant in the lobby.
搞得我分不清我是进去了还是没进去嘛 It kept looking like the outside.
好 听着 等Leonard出来的时候 Okay, listen, when Leonard comes out,
他肯定不会觉得舒服 he is not gonna feel great,
所以 请不要再难为他 so, please don't give him a hard time.
Penny说的对 Penny has a good point.
这就像上次你在超市遇到的 This is like the man in the supermarket
脖子上有甲状腺肿的那个人一样 with the goiter on his neck.
不管你是怎么想的 别说出来 Whatever you're thinking, just keep it to yourself.
那甲状腺肿就像一串葡萄那样 It was like a grapefruit.
而且我很确定在你拿了串葡萄放在他脖子旁比较之前 And I'm sure he knew that
他就知道了 before you held a grapefruit up next to it.
这我可不敢打包票 Well, I'm not making any promises.
不止是因为Leonard去做了我觉得完全不必要的有风险的事 Not only did Leonard take what I feel is an unnecessary risk,
他还欺骗了我 he deceived me.
好吧 他之所以欺骗你 Okay, the reason he deceived you is
是因为你实在太他妈太烦人了 you were being a pain in the ass.
我之所以会他什么的烦人 The reason I was being a pain in the B is
是因为我担心他 而其他人都不担心 because I was worried about him, and no one else was.
有没有搞错 你连"他妈的"都不说? Really? You won't even say "A"?
我就他什么的不说 You bet your sweet B I won't.
明显的 我很在乎Leonard Obviously, I care about Leonard.
我是要和他相伴一生的 I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with him.
难道我不是吗? And I'm not?
地震了 It's an earthquake.
我就知道 I knew it.
Sheldon 这就震了一下 Sheldon, it was just a little tremor.
就这么一下就可能把鼻窦道手术 A little tremor that turns routine sinus surgery
变成前额叶手术了 into a frontal lobotomy.
哦 我一点也不喜欢这样 Oh, I don't care for this at all.
哦 我得看看他是不是还好 Oh, I need to see he's okay.
Sheldon 你不能进去的 Sheldon, you can't go back there.
谁能挡我! Try and stop me!
你还好吧? Are you okay?
你干嘛不拦着我?! Why didn't you stop me?!
我能告诉一些事情吗 Can I tell you something?
Raj的父母发生这种事 This whole thing with Raj's parents
让我有一点担心我们 just got me a little worried about us.
你在胡说什么? 我们不会有事的啦 What are you talking about? We're fine.
而且Raj的父母之所以会分开 And Raj's parents
可能都是因为Raj probably split up because of Raj.
什么?! What?!
人们都说不能怪罪小孩 但... They always say the children aren't to blame, but...
看看这货 Come on.
我没在开玩笑 Howie I'm not joking, Howie.
你听到他是怎么说他的父母的了 You heard what he said about his parents.
一开始只是些小事 他们选择了隐藏逃避 It was the little things they kept bottled up.
我不想让这种事发生在我们身上 I don't want that to happen to us.
我要怎么才能说服这不会发生呢? How can I convince you it won't?
关于我的你有什么是藏在心里没说出来的呢 Well, is there anything about me you're keeping inside?
我不会回答这个问题的 I'm not answering that.
这是个陷阱 It's a trap.
所以你确实有你不喜欢的事情 So there are things you don't like.
我还是跳陷阱里了 And here I am in the trap.
你接着说 You just keep talking.
我先把我腿啃下来 I'm gonna chew my leg off.
告诉我一件让你觉得烦心的事吧 Just tell me one thing that bothers you,
我保证我不会生气 and I promise I won't get mad.
好吧 事实是... Okay. The truth is...
有时候...你太... sometimes... you're too...
美了 beautiful.
哦 Oh.
Howie 严肃点 Howie, be serious.
好啦 好啦 Okay, okay.
我真的很不喜欢 I really don't like
当我们睡觉的时候你的翅膀总打到我 how your wings poke me when we sleep
因为你是一个天使 'cause you're an angel.
好啦 算了 也许这是个糟糕的主意 Okay, fine, maybe it was a bad idea.
我只是不觉得维持美好婚姻的方法是 I just don't think the secret to a happy marriage
去互相批评指责对方 is going out of our way to criticize each other.
尽管如此 总会有些办法能增进我们的沟通的 Although, there are ways to improve our communication.
我在情侣治疗班里学到... One thing I learned when I was in couples therapy was...
你跟谁 Who were you
去做了夫妻情感疏导治疗? in couples therapy with?
那不重要 Not important.
是跟你妈妈吗? Was it your mom?
说了不重要 Not important.
就是跟你妈去的 It was your mom.
反正 治疗师让我们告诉对方 Anyway, the therapist had us tell each other
我们爱对方的哪些地方 what we loved about one another.
哦 太贴心了! Oh, that's so sweet!
咱们也那么做吧 I want to do that.
好的 All right.
我先来 我想想... Okay, um...
我喜欢你能哄我开心 I love that you make me laugh.
谢谢 Thank you.
我喜欢你既强壮又独立 And I love that you're strong and independent.
我还 喜欢你为我开门 And yet, I still love when you hold a door for me.
我喜欢我很邋遢 但是... I love that I'm kind of a slob around here, and...
你并不在意 you're okay with that.
好吧 Uh-huh.
我喜欢我既要工作又要打扫房间 And I love that I work and do all the cleaning,
而你也不介意 and you're okay with that.
是吧 我根本不介意 See, I am.
超赞是不是? Isn't this great?
来 给姐儿笑一个 Come on, smile.
我要把它做成圣诞节明信片 This is gonna be my Christmas card.
这都是你的错误 You know this is all your fault.
怎么能是我的错误? How is it my fault?
我告诉你别去做手术了 I told you not to get the surgery.
听好了 首先 手术很成功 Okay, first of all, the surgery was a success,
其次 我根本就不想让你去 and secondly, I didn't even want you there.
我擦 我都不知道那个地方更受伤了... Wow. I don't know which hurts worse...
我的鼻子还是我的心 my nose or my heart.
行了 我不跟你说话了 Well, I'm done speaking to you.
别耍脾气 Don't be like that.
你们俩把话说开了 You two need to talk this out.
而且 你们两个听起来太搞笑了 Yeah, 'cause you sound really funny.
Sheldon 真的很抱歉我没有告诉你我去做手术 Sheldon, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the surgery,
但真的没什么可担心的 but you were worried about nothing.
怎么没有 你还没脱离危险呢 Oh, you're hardly out of the woods, no.
你还有感染 血液凝块 You still run the risk of infection, a blood clot,
以及不专心的手术医生让一只 the possibility that an inattentive surgeon
谷仓里的蜘蛛在你鼻子里产卵的可能 let a barn spider lay eggs in your nose.
要是你鼻子里擤出蜘蛛网来 我立马搬走 The minute you sneeze web, I'm moving out.
我从没想过我会这么说 I never thought I'd say these words,
快出来吧 我鼻子里的蜘蛛! but come on, nose spider!
你想骗谁啊? Who are you kidding?
Leonard有危险的时候 You were so panicked
你恐慌极了 你离不开他 Leonard was gonna die, you'll never leave him.
Sheldon 早晚要搬出去的 Sheldon will move out eventually.
当然 那得等他学会怎么开门之后 Yeah, once he figures out how to work a door.
我才没恐慌 我也没有对Leonard过度依赖 I was not panicked, and I am not overly attached to Leonard.
你太着急进去看我了 You were so worried that you smashed your face
把你的脸都撞了 trying to check on me.
你爱上我了 You love me.
好吧 谁敢说 Yeah. Tell me
那不是一个脑子被蜘蛛啃了 those aren't the words of a man
的人能说出来的话 with a spider eating its way through his brain.
Amy 你是个神经科学家 Amy, you're a neuroscientist.
快掀开他的头骨 喷点儿杀虫剂进去 Crack his skull open, spray some Raid in there.
我喜欢每天早晨当我着急撒尿 I love that you take pride in your looks,
你却在卫生间里 even when I have
弄了一个小时的发型 to pee in the morning,
最后还露出引以为傲的表情 and you're in there spending an hour on your hair.
我喜欢你不能在洗碗池里撒尿的养尊处优 I love that you're too good to pee in the kitchen sink.
我喜欢你 I love that you have the confidence
说话不经过大脑的自信 to speak, even without giving it an ounce of thought.
我喜欢你经常把头发弄到香皂上 And I love how your hair is always on the soap.
就好像我在用仓鼠在洗澡一样 It's like washing myself with a hamster.
嘿 伙计们 对不起我来晚了 Hey, guys. Sorry I am so late.
我刚刚在和我妈妈通话 I was on the phone with my mother.
她怎么样? Oh, how is she?
还不错 Pretty good.
她买了那本叫"美食 祈祷 恋爱"的书 She bought the book Eat, Pray, Love
然后用那本书点着了我爸爸的奔驰汽车 and used it to set my father's Mercedes on fire.
你们在干什么? So, what's up with you guys?
我们在列举我们喜欢对方的哪些优点 We're just saying all the things we love about each other.
哈 跟咱俩进行夫妻感情疏导治疗时做的一样 Oh, like you and I did at couples therapy.
你买了什么? Ooh, what'd you get?
我是在你做手术之前买的 Oh, I ordered it before your surgery.
我本来要把你的骨灰放进这个骨灰罐的 It's the urn I was going to put you in.
我勒个去 真变态 Okay, that's morbid.
把它退回去 Send it back.
我没法退回去了... 我让他们在上面刻了字 I can't send it back... I had it engraved.
"这里装的是Leonard Hofstadter的骨灰 " Here lie the ashes of Leonard Hofstadter.
他觉得他是对的 但他的室友才是对的" He thought he was right, but his roommate knew better. "
真有意思 That's funny.
要不是吃了止疼药我肯定扇他两耳光 Boy, I'm gonna miss these painkillers.
你怎么买了两个? Hey, why did you get two?
- "我与傻瓜相伴" - 噢 那是我的 - " I'm with stupid. " - Oh, that one's mine.