5,6,7,8
Anybody seen the Kelly Sisters?
You, you're up in five
- Keep the change, Charlie - Thanks
Where the hell have you been?
- And where is Veronica? - She's onto herself tonight.
But they paid to see your sister act
Don't sweat it, I can do it alone
Shit!
Come on, move it, move it Hurry up
Tell them you're here
Ladies and gentlemen
The Onyx Club is proud to present Chicago's hottest dancing duo
Two jazz babes moving as one
The Kelly Sisters
Come on babe Why don't we paint the town
In all that Jazz I'm gonna rouge my knees
and roll my stockings down
And all that jazz Start the car
I know a whoopee spot
where the gin is cold
but the piano's hot
It's just a noisy hall where there's a nightly brawl
And all...
...that...
Jazz
Skidoo
And all that Jazz
Hotcha!
Whoopee!
And all that Jazz
Slick you hair Wear your buckle shoes
And all that Jazz
I hear the father dip
Is gonna blow the blues
And all that Jazz
Hold on, hon We're gonna bunny hug
I bought some aspirin
Down at United Drug
In case you shake apart
And wanna a brand new start
to do
that
Jazz
Let's go baby
But I didn't even meet your friend
That, that manager guy
Don't worry, Roxy
It's all taken care of
You told him about me
Yeah, kid It's all arranged
Find a flask We're playing fast and loose
And all that Jazz
Right up here is where I store the juice
And all that Jazz
Come on babe We're gonna brush the sky
I bet you lucky Lindy
Never flew so high
'Cause in the stratosphere
How could he lend an ear
To all...
...that...
Jazz
Oh, you're gonna see her sheba shimmy shake
And All That Jazz!
Oh, she's gonna shimmy till her garters break
And All That Jazz
Show her where to park her girdle
Oh, her mother's blood is curdle
If she'd hear
Her baby's queer
For All That Jazz!
Oh, Mrs. Brucewits Mrs. Hart
This is Fred
He's my brother
All that Jazz
Come on babe, why don't we paint the town?
And all that Jazz
I'm gonna rouge my knees
and roll my stockings down
And all that Jazz
Start the car
I know a whoopee spot
Where martini is cold
But the piano's hot
It's just a noisy hall
Where there's a nightly brawl
And all that Jazz
Say it again, Fred
Ah, you're the star, kid
My little shooting star
No, I'm no one's wife
But, oh, I love my life
And All That Jazz!
That Jazz
Oh, say it again, Fred
Jesus
Where is the fire?
Amos ain't home till midnight
Freddie
Fred
Hey, ...you know
I don't want you to feel I'm nagging at you or anything
But don't think it's about time that I met your friend out of the Onyx
I mean it's been a month since you told him about me
I know
Cause that was a night Velma Kelly plugged her husband and her sister
You really say that she found when they kissed together
Gosh if I found Amos soping it into somebody else
Bing bing gone with the wind, right
It's getting late
I have been thinking a lot about mattress
I never get a really good idea I write it down in my diary before it goes out of my head
And it occured to me the other day
That all the really, really knocked out acts
Have, you know, something little different going on you know
Like eh...our signature bed
And I thought, I thought that nothing
Could be a loof
You know
Give them just enough to get them good in hungry you know
Always leave them one more
Hey, once I get a name for myself
Maybe, maybe we could open up a club in Varum, you know
You could run it
and I could be the headliner
What's the idea?
Wake up, kid, you're never gonna have an act
Says who?
Face it, Roxie
You're too bit talent with skinny legs
but I'm just a furniture salesman
Dear but you got connections, you know
The guy down the club
There is no guy
Yet, that night
It was the first night I set foot in that joint
I was collecting out a bed for the trumbone player
So you never told anyone about me?
Sugar, you are hot stuff
I would say anything to get a piece of that
And now, now?
We've had some laughs Let's just leave it with that
Fred
You can't do this to me
You get off!
You touch me again, I'll put your lights out
Wait
Your husband will be home, so why don't you watch yourself
We ain't gonna hit no sheets again
You're a liar, Fred
Oh yes, so what?
You lied to me
- You lied to me - That's right, sweetheart, that's right
Son of bitch
You're son of a bitch
Hotcha
Whoopee
Why you're bothering, Sal
This one's all wrapped up
I hear it's a new city record
from killing to confession in an hour for that
Where did you get the murder weapon?
I keep a gun in the underwear drawer
Just in case of trouble, you know
That's just fine, sign right there, Mr. Hart
Freely and gladly
And mind that you don't say we beat you up when you get upon the witness stand
No I gave myself up, surrendered at my own freewill
Isn't he the cheerful murderer?
Shooting a burgalar ain't murder
Just last week the jury sancted a man
I'm always greatful for citizens the law
Get in there
You too
Sit down
OK, from the top
A man's got a right to protect his home and his loved ones, right?
Of course he has
Well I come home from the garage, I see him climbing through the window
Aha?
With my wife Roxie in there sleeping like an angel
Is that true, Mrs. Hart?
I'm telling you My wife has nothing to do with it
She wouldn't hurt a worm Not even a worm
Was until I fire the first shot She won't even open her eyes
She sleeping
I would say she could sleep to the saint patty's day parade
When I think what would happen if I went out for a beer with the guys
instead of coming straight home
It makes you sick when you think about it
For her first number, Ms. Roxie Hart would like to sing a song of love and devotion
Dedicated to her dear husband Amos
Sometimes I'm right
Sometimes I'm wrong
But he doesn't care
He'll string along
He loves me so
That funny honey of mine!
Sometimes I'm down
Sometimes I'm up
But he follows 'round
Like some droopy-eyed pup
He loves me so
That funny honey of mine!
Like I said
Even after I shot him, he kept coming at me
So I had to pull the trigger again
He ain't no sheik
That's no great physique
And Lord knows he ain't got the smarts
But look at that soul
I tell you, that whole
Is a whole lot greater
Than the sum of his parts
And if you knew him like me
I know you'd agree
What if the world
Slander my name?
Why, he'd be right there
Taking the blame
He loves me so
And it all suits me fine
That funny, sunny, honey
Hubby of mine!
I mean supposin', just supposin'
He'd violated her or something
- You know what I mean? Violated - I know what you mean
Or something, think how terrible that would've been
It's a good thing I got home from work on time
I'm tellin' you that
I say I' m telling you that
Name of deceased...Fred Casely
Fred Casely?
How could he be a burglar? My wife knows him!
He sold us our furniture!
He gave us ten percent off
Lord knows he ain't got the smarts
She told me he was a burglar.
You mean he was dead when you got home?
She had him covered with a sheet
and she's tellin' me some cock and bull story about this burglar
and I ought to say I did it 'cause I was sure to get off
"Help me, Amos" she says it's my god damn hour of needs
Now, he shot off his trap
I can't stand that sap
(Amos) And I believed her! (Roxie) Look at him go
(Amos) That cheap little tramp. (Roxie) Rattin' on me
(Amos) So she was two-timing me, huh? (Roxie) With just one more brain
(Amos) Boy, I'm down at the garage, working my butt off fourteen hours a day (Roxie) If they string me up
And she's up there munchin' on bon-bons
And trampling around like a goddamn fruisy
She thought she could
I wasn't born yet
I tell you there's something a man just can't take
And this time she pushed me too far
That little chiseler
Boy, what a sap I was
You double-crosser, you big blover mouth! You promised you'd say...
What're you talking about, you've been tricking me, Roxanne
You told me he was a burglar
The whole time you're been jazzling
You are a disloyal husband
Look, it's true I shot him. But...
It was out of defense He was trying to burgle me
And what I hear is he's been burgling you three times a week for the last month
So what do you say, Mrs?
- That's him alright - Thank you
Your story doesn' wash, Mrs Hart
So try this emphasize
Fred Caseley was a good time on the side with goofy here's a milk ticket
Milk ticket? He could buy my liquor
And Fred Casely could
With a wife and 5 little Caseleys Or did he forget to mention them?
What?
All his
That bastard
Yeah, I killed him, I will kill him again
Once was enough, dear,take her to downtown Come on
This way, honey
Oh, come on, it's a shame to hide such a beautiful face
Why did you shoot him?
Why don't you give a profile, a little smile like the girl in the toothpaste ad?
That one you can't, take this down
District attorney Harrison says this is a hanging case
- I'm ready to go to the Jury tomorrow - What do you mean hanging?
Take her down to the Cook County Jail
Come on ,sweetie headliner. Why did you shoot him? Was he crude, did he beat you, did he fool around..
What do you mean hanging?
Morphine, opium, cocaine?
Arm length: 31 inches
The matron's on the way, so don't ge too cozy
Put off that cigarette
Ever had morphine before?
She's fine
As long as you keep her happy
And now, ladies and gentlemen
The keeper of the keys, the countess of the clink
The mistress of Murderer's row Matron "Mama" Morton
Ask any of the chickies in my pen
They'll tell I'm the biggest mother hen
I love 'em all and all of them love me
Because the system works
The system called reciprocity
On your feet
Welcome, ladies
Got a little motto
Always sees me through
When you're good to Mama
Mama's good to you!
Might think it'll make your life a living hell
Which is just not true
There's a lot of favors
I'm prepared to do
You do one for Mama
She'll do one for you
Like to be your friend if you let me
So if something upsets you or makes you unhappy in any way
Don't shoot your fat-ass mouth on me
Cause I don't give a shit, now move it out
They say that life is tit for tat
And that's the way I live
So, I deserve a lot of tat
For what I've got to give
Don't you know that this hand
Washes that one too
When you're good to Mama
Mama's good to you!
Let's go
You must be Hart
Ain't you a pretty one?
Thank you, madam
Oh no, call me Mama
I'm gonna take care of you
Now you'll be happy taken down in this block
Murderer's Row we call
Is that nicer?
No, I don't think I really belong in here
I didn't actually do anything wrong
I need to tell you, honey
I never heard of a man getting killed when he didn't get just what would come at all
Hey, Mama
Come here, come here
Velma Kelly?
You're the Velma Kelly
You know I was there that night I was there that night
That you got arrested
Yeah, you and half of Chicago
Look at this, Mama
An editorial denouce me in Red Book Magazine
Not a memory did we reall so fiendish horrible a double homicide
Baby, you couldn't buy that kind of publicity
Couldn't buy it?
I guess I can keep this then
Let's try
If you want my gravy
Pepper my ragout
Spice it up for Mama
She'll get hot for you
When they pass that basket
Folks contribute to
You put in for Mama
She'll pull out for you
The folks atop the ladder
Are the ones the world adores
So boost me up my ladder, kid
And I'll boost you up yours
Let's all stroke together
Like the Princeton crew
When you're strokin' Mama
Mama's strokin' you
So what's the one conclusion
I can bring this number to?
When you're good to Mama
Mama's good to you
Mama
It's kind of freezing in here
You don't think maybe there's something wrong with the heat
Not that I'm complaining, mind you, but you know
If you got a couple of blankets to sleep with
Lights out, ladies
OK
Pop
Six
Squish
Uh-Uh
Cicero
Lipschitz!
And now the six merry murderesses of the Cook County Jail
in their rendition of the "Cell Block Tango."
Pop
Six
Squish
Uh-uh
Cicero
Lipschitz
Pop, six, squish, uh-uh, cicero
Lipschitz
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!
Pop, six, squish, uh-uh, cicero, lipschitz
You know how people have these little habits that get you down
Like Bernie. Bernie liked to chew gum.
No, not chew. Pop.
So I came home this one day and I'm really irritated,
I'm looking for a little sympathy
and there's Bernie lyin' on the couch
drinkin' a beer and chewin' it
No, not chewin'. Poppin'
So, I said my six, you pop that gum one more time
And he did
So I took the shotgun off the wall
and I fired two warning shots
into his head
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have heard it
I betcha you would have done the same!
I met Ezekiel Young from Salt Lake City about two years ago
and he told me he was single
and we hit it off right away.
So, we started living together
He'd go to work, he'd come home,
I'd fix him a drink, and we'd have dinner
And then I found out
"Single" he told me?
Single, my ass
Not only was he married
oh no
He had six wives
One of those Mormons, you know
So that night when he came home from work
I fixed him his drink as usual
You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic
He had it coming
He took a flower in its prime
And then he used it
And he abused it
It was a murder But not a crime
Now, I'm standing in the kitchen
carvin' up the chicken for dinner
minding my own business
In storms my husband Wilbur in a jealous rage
"You been screwin' the milkman," he says
He was crazy
and he kept on screamin' "You been screwin' the milkman,"
And then he ran into my knife!
He ran into my knife ten times
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same
Mit keresek, enn itt? Azt mondjok, hogy lakem lefogta a ferjemet
en meg lecsaptam a fejet.
De nem igaz, en artatlan vagyok
Nem tudom mert mondja Uncle Sam hogy en tetten
Probaltam a rendorsegen megmagyarazni de nem ertettek meg
Yeah, but did you do it
Ah ah, not guilty
He had it coming
My sister, Veronica, and I did this double act
and my husband, Charlie, traveled around with us
Now for the last number in our act
we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row
one, two, three, four, five
Splits, spread eagles, back flips, flip flops
One right after the other
So this one night before the show we are down at the Hotel Cicero
the three of us boozin' , havin' a few laughs
and we run out of ice
so I go out to get some
I come back, open the door
And there's Veronica and Charlie doing Number Seventeen
the spread eagle
Well, I was in such a state of shock
I completely blacked out
I can't remember a thing
It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands
I even knew they were dead
They had it coming
They had it coming all along
I didn't do it
But if I'd done it
How could you tell me that I was wrong?
They had it coming
They had it coming all along
I didn't do it
But if I'd done it
How could you tell me that I was wrong?
I love Alvin Lipschitz More than I can possibly say
He was a real artistic guy
Sensitive...a painter
But he was always trying to find himself
He'd go out every night looking for himself and along the way
he found Ruth, Gladys, Rosemary and Irving
I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences
He saw himself as alive and I saw him dead
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
They had it comin'
They had it comin' all along
'Cause if they used us
And they abused us
How could you tell us That we were wrong?
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same
- You pop that gum one more time - Single my ass - Ten times
-Miert csukott Uncle Sam bortonbe. - Number Seventeen - the spread eagle. - Artistic differences
Pop
Six
Squish
Uh-uh
Cicero
Lipschitz
Who brought them?
What's up to you?
Nothing
Heard they're Velma's
Yeah, Hanja does all her laundry for a couple of weeks
- Fresh towels for change - Make it quick
I can take good care of you
There're a couple of things Let me analyze to you
Now, Billy Flynn set your trial date on Mar 5th
Mar 7th you would be aquitted
On Mar 8th, you know what Mama's gonna do for you?
Mama's gonna put you back in Veaudeville Circus
So now you're an agent too?
Well them until Mabelle install a private line in your cell All calls gotta go through me
What kind of dough we're talking about?
You know, this crazy world
I mean, Babe Ruth is wearing rules and playing in palace for 5000 dollars for a week
Yeah, what about someone with real talent
Well, I can talk to the boys over Wienworks
With your recent sensation activities
They seem they can give you 2500
2500?
Geez, the most me and Veronica make was 350
Yeah, that was what happens when you have that Redbook presentation
You know what, Mama?
I always wanted to play Big Jim
Do you think you can get me that?
Big Jim's?
I don't know
It's gonna take another phone call
How much is that gonna cost?
Come on Vel
I feel about you, you're like family of me You're one of my own
- I'll do for fifty bucks - Fifty bucks for a phone call?
You must get a lot of wrong numbers, Mama
Oh, Ms. Kelly, got your personals
Freshly pressed by yours truly
I know, it's my pleasure
Hey, listen
Can I ask you something?
You know that Harrison guy?
Well he said what I have done is a hanging case
And he's prepared to ask for the maximum penalty
Yeah, so?
So I'm scared
I surely would appreciate some advice
Especially from...
Someone I admire as much as you
Since I can remember, I have wanted to be on the stage
Really?
What's your talent, washing and drying?
No, no
I dance in the chorus
That was before I met my husband Amos
Look, you want some advice?
Here it is, direct from me to you
Keep your paws off my underwear. OK?
Yeah, OK
Thanks
For nothing
She's not that nice, ain't she?
I'll tell you no matter how big she gives, she's still as common as ever
I'd like to help you, deary
We'll take a lotto
So what do you figure on useful ground?
Grounds?
What're you gonna tell the jury?
Who's figure, I'll tell them the truth
The truth?
That's one way ticket to the death house
Holy mother of God
Oh relax
I mean, in this town Murders are for entertainment
Besides, in 47 years, the Cook County never hung a woman yet
So that's 47 to 1
that they won't hang you
Jesus, Mary and Joseph
You're talking to the wrong people
What you need is Billy Flynn
Who?
Billy Flynn
He's only the best criminal lawyer in all over Illinois
Tell me what he don't know about juries and women
How do you get this Billy Flynn?
Well, not by prayer, deary
First you give me a hundred dollars
Then I'll make a phone call
Hundred dollars? Well it just...
I mean
Seems pretty steep for a phone call
Oh but it worth every cent
I mean he never lost a case for female clients yet
Or a sweet puss like you as well
Let's just say it seems so blind in Chicago
He's never lost a case?
Never
Every girl in this place would kill to have Billy Flynn represent her
We want Billy
B. I. Double L. Y.
We're all his
He's our kind of a guy
And ooh what luck
'Cause here he is
Ladies and Gentleman, presenting the Silver-Tongued Prince of the Courtroom
the one, the only Billy Flynn
I don't care about expensive things
Cashmere coats, diamond rings
Don't mean a thing
All I care about is love
(Billy) That's what I'm here for (Girls) That's what he's here for
I don't care for wearing silk cravats
Ruby studs, satin spats
Don't mean a thing
All I care about is love
All he cares about is love
Give me two eyes of blue
Softly saying, "I need you"
Let me see her standin' there
And honest, mister, I'm a millionaire
I don't care for any fine attire
Vanderbilt might admire
No, no, not me
All I care about is love
All he cares about is love
Good morning, ladies
That's what he's here for
Excuse me, gentlemen
Ms. Kelly, do you remember anything at all about that night
I passed out completely, Ms. Sunshine I can' t remember a thing
Only that I didn't do it
- Any idea who did it? - No
No but my client is offering a substantial award to anyone with information about this crime
How much is the reward, Ms. Kelly?
I don't know, how much?
I'll work it out after the trial
Now, if there's no more questions, Ms. Kelly and I had a lot work to do
What's all this about the awards?
Often done before. If the reporters write it on we deny the whole thing later on
Thank you
All he cares about is love
- Mr. Flynn, I'm Roxie...Hart - Who?
- Mama tells you about me - Oh, yeah right, right, the cute one
How would I hope that you might represent me
You have five thousand dollars?
That's a lot of money
Mama didn't say anything about five thousand dollars
Look it, eh, Mr. Flynn
I'm not good at this sort of thing
Maybe we could make some sort of arrangements between us
I could be awfully a good sport
Good you got that idea of our system
Now listen
You mean just one thing to me
You call me when you got five thousand dollars
All he cares about is love
Show me long raven hair
Flowin' down, about to there
When I see her runnin' free
Keep your money, that's enough for me
I don't care for drivin' Packard cars
Or smoking long buck cigars
No, no, not me
All I care about is
Doin' the guy in
Who's pickin', on you
Twistin' the wrist
That's turnin' the screw
All I care about
Is love
Oh you'll see him now
- Well, hello, Andy - Amos, my name is Amos
That's right, take a seat
You know, you're a remarkable man
Your wife two times you, plug the guy and tries to pity on you
Most men are gonna dim with that swing, but no
You're sticking by her
Actually hero in my eyes
That's right
I'm a hero
Did you bring the money?
I didn't do as well as I hoped, but
I will, Mr. Flynn, I will
Ah, this is only a thousand
Plus the three hundred I borrowed from the guy down at the garage
and there are seven...
Seven hundred from the building of Loan Fund
Two thousand?
And that's all I got so far
But I'll give twenty dollars off my salary every week
I'll give you notes with interest, double triple until every cent is paid, I promise
When you came to me yesterday
I didn't ask you if she was guilty
I didn't ask if she was innocent
I didn't ask if she was a drunk, or a dopefing, no
All I said was do you have five thousand dollars You said yes
But you don't have five thousand dollars
So I figure you're a dirty liar I don't waste time on dirty liars
Look
I'm really sorry, Mr. Flynn
On the other hand
Your devotion to your wife is really very very touching
I'll take your wife's case and I'll keep it
Because I play square
Now, look, Hart
I don't like to blow my own horn
But believe me, if Jesus Christ lived in Chicago today if he had five thousand dollars
And he come to me, things would've turned out differently
All right, this is what we gonna do
By the end of the week, I wanna have Roxie's name in the front page of every newspaper in town
Sweetest Little Jazz Killer Ever Lived in Chicago
That's the angle I'm after
You make the announcement, we're gonna have an auction
Tell them we gotta raise money for her defense
They'll buy everything she's ever touched, everything
Your shoes, your dresses, your perfume, your underwear
Mm, the troller records like the one I was playing when I shot the bastard
I didn't hear that
Not that I didn't have ground mind you Hey what are they?
That's when we go to trial
Look, nobody, nobody's gonna care a lick
Watch your defenses unless they care about you
So the first thing we're gonna do is to work out some sympathy from the press
I'm not pretty sure like Mary Sunshine
But there's one thing they can never resist
And that is, a reformed sinner
So tell me, what's your favorite subject in school
- Dalf, that was a real... - There must be something that you're really good at
Oh I got high marks in the courtesy in hygiene
Perfect, you wanted to be a nun
Nun?
Where were you born?
On a chicken farm outside Lurburk
Beautiful and silent home for every luxury and refinement
Where are your parents now?
Probably on front porch in their rocking chairs
Parents are dead
Family fortune swept away you're educated in the Sacred Heart
Then you fell into a run away marriage, left you miserable alone
Unhappy, of course you got swept up in the mad world of the city
Jazz, Cabaret, liquor, you're drawn like a moth to the flame - A moth?
Now the mad world acceased, and you are the butterfly
Crushed on the wheel
Which is it, is it the moth or the butterfly?
- You have sinned in your sorrow - God that's beautiful
Cut off God, stay where you're acquitted
Kid, when I'm through with you not only will you be acquitted
Every man in jury wanna take you home to meet his mother
- I was born in a beautiful southern combat - What?
Oh holy shit Oh I'll never get this straight
Pipe down and swearing
Look, from now on You say nothing about of damn
Now try again
I was born on a...
Come on, come on
So what's the most thing I'm gonna do in the witness stand
I thought I'd get all teary eyed
And ask for your handkerchief
Then I thought I'll take a peek at the Jury like this
Flashing a bit thigh, hah?
What do you think?
Sounds great
Hey, don't you wanna hear the rest?
Come on, I'll get up, you can talk from my lists
Well, well, well
Sorry to be late, Mr. Flynn
Hope you're not too bored
I like it
Hey, Pauliana, I heard your press conference is tomorrow
Yeah, what's up to you?
Well you wanted my advice right?
Well here it is
Don't forget Bailiff's No. 1 client is Billy Flynn
Meaning what?
Meaning
Don't let him hug the spotlight
You're the one they paid to see
Now remember, we can only sell them one idea a time
Yeah, I can still see him coming after me with that awful look in his eyes
And?
And we both reach for the gun
That's right, you both reach for the gun
Ready?
Yeah
Gentlemen, gentlemen, Ms. Sunshine
My client's just entered a plead of not guilty
We look forward to the trial at the earliest possible date. Now is there any questions?
Ms. Sunshine
As you know, my paper is dry
Do you any advice for young girls seeking to avoid a life of Jazz and drink
Absolutely yes.
Mrs. Hart feels that it's the tragic combination of liquor and Jazz
which led her to the downfall. Next question
Ladies and gentlemen
I would just like to state how flattered I am that you came to see you
Mrs. Hart is very...
You see I was a moth crushed on the wheel
You know, a butterfly drawn to the, to the...
I bet you wanna know why I shot the bastard
Shut up, dummy
Mr. Billy Flynn in the "Press Conference Rag"
notice how his mouth never moves - almost
Where'd you come from?
Mississippi
And your parents?
Very wealthy.
Where are they now?
Six feet under. But she was granted one more start
The convent of the sacred heart!
When'd you get here?
1920
How old were you?
Don't remember
Then what happened?
I met Amos And he stole my heart away
Convinced me to elope one day
Oh, poor dear, I can't believe what you've been through
A convent girl! A run-away marriage!
Now tell us Roxie
Who's Fred Casely?
My ex-boyfriend
Why'd you shoot him
I was leavin'
Was he angry?
Like a madman! Still I said, "Fred, move along."
She knew that she was doin' wrong
Then describe it
He came toward me.
With a pistol?
From my bureau
Did you fight him?
Like a tiger
He had strength and she had none
And yet we both reached for the gun
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes we both Oh yes, we both
Oh yes, we both reached for the gun
the gun, the gun, the gun
Oh yes, we both reached for the gun For the gun.
Understandable, understandable
Yes, it's perfectly understandable
Comprehensible, comprehensible
Not a bit reprehensible
It's so defensible!
How you're feeling?
Very frightened
Are you sorry?
Are you kidding?
What's your statement?
All I'd say is
Though my choo-choo jumped the track
I'd give my life to bring him back
- And? - Stay away from
- What? - Jazz and liquor
- And? - And the man who
-What? - Play for fun
- And what? - That's the thought that
- Yeah! - Came upon me
- When? - When we both reached for the gun!
Understandable, understandable
Yes, it's perfectly understandable
Comprehensible, comprehensible
Not a bit reprehensible
It's so defensible!
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes they both
Oh yes they both
Oh yes, they both
- Reach for the gun - Let me hear it
Oh yes, they both reached For the gun
For the gun.
A little louder!
Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes they both
Oh yes they both
Oh yes they both reach for the gun
Now you got it
Oh yes, oh yes oh yes they both
Oh yes they both
Oh yes they both reach for the gun
Both reach for the gun
Move all by a capone
The windy city has taken a new criminal to a talk
The name on everybody's lips is Roxie Hart
The sweetest little lady ever accused of murder in Chicago
Women wanna look like her
Fellows wanna go out with her
Some little girls even wanna take her home
Don't get any ideas, little lady
On the other side of town
The assistant DA promises the keen shant shootre shall swing before the year is up
Who knows?
If he lives up to his word, assistant DA Harrison might become Governor Harrison some day
Back at the scene of the crime
Everybody wants a little piece of Roxie Hart
This jar of colgraine sent her husband back 20 dollars
Maybe this pretty little lady would get some of that famous Roxie style
It seems everybody these days is ruling for
Roxie Hart
Take off these flowers and make sure they do send them
So, kiddo
You've any thought what you wann do after Billy get you off
Yeah, I think I'd like to go on the stage
Yeah, figure it as much
I've already called the Morris office
Really? How much is that gonna cost me?
Very fair to do, ten percent of all your takings
Yeah, we'll see, Mama
Besides, I don't even have an act yet
Well, killing Fred Caseley was your act
May not ??? audience ???
It's a freak act
Besides
Hi
I'm better than that
Of course you are, cup cake
I mean you may be as big as Sophie Tago
You really think so?
Made Canton and Joseph can buy
You know I always wanted to have my name on those papers
You know before I met Amos
I used to date with this well to do ugly bootlegger
He used to like to take me out and show me off
Ugly guys like to do that
Once it's said in the paper
Gamelands Alcapella seen a shavito with a cute blonde
That was me
I cliffed and I saved better
You know all my life
I wanna have my own act
But no, no no no no
It's always no, they always turn me down
One big world full of no
And then Amos came along
Safe, sweet Amos
He never says no
I've never done this before
But you know
It is such a special night
And you're such a great audience
And I just, I really feel I can I can talk to you, you know
So forget what you've read in the papers
And forget what you've heard from the radios
Because, because
Because I'm gonna tell you the truth
Not that the truth really matters
But I'm gonna tell you anyway
On the bed of the apartment
Amos was
Zero
I mean when he made love to me
It was like
I think he was fixing a carburetor or something
I like you, honey, I love you
Anyway
I started fooling around
Then I started screwing around
Which is fooling around without dinner
Then I met Fred Caseley
Who said that he can get me into the Veaudebill
But that ain't quite work out like I've planned
I guess it didn't really work out to grateful Fred either
So I gave up on the whole idea
If you can't figure after all these use
Opportunities just pass you by
And now,
with this swing I get 'em all
with all these publicity,
l got me a world full of yes!
The name on everybody's lips
Is gonna be Roxie
The lady rakin' in the chips
Is gonna be Roxie
I'm gonna be a celebrity
That means somebody everyone knows
They're gonna recognize my eyes
My hair, my teeth, my boobs, my nose
From just some dumb mechanic's wife
I'm gonna be Roxie
Who says that murder's not an art?
And who in case she doesn't hang
Can say she started with a bang?
Roxie Hart!
Boys
They're gonna wait outside in line
To get to see Roxie
Think of those autographs I'll sign
"Good luck to you, Roxie"
And I'll appear in a lavaliere
That goes all the way down to my waist
Here a ring, there a ring Everywhere a ring a ling
But always the best of taste
l'm a star.
And the audience loves me. And l love them.
And they love me for loving them. And l love them for loving me.
And we love each other.
And that's cause none of us got enough love in our childhoods.
And that's showbiz.... kid.
She's giving up her humdrum life
I'm gonna be, sing it's Roxie
She made a scandal and a start
And Sophie Tucker will shit, I know
To see her name get billed below
Roxie Hart!
l just can't take it anymore.
I can't go anywhere without hearing about that dumb tomato!
Oh, no Mama, not you too.
l've got some bad news, kid. The tour has been cancelled.
What?
Your name is out of the paper too long.
All you read about today, is the Hart kid. She's hot.
And what am l supposed to do? Suck up to her like everybody else?
lt couldn't hurt.
Over my dead body.
Mind if l join you?
Lights out.
Smoke?
Look what some Johnny sent me.
Triple cream caramel, all the way from San Francisco.
l'm watching my figure. You know, the trial.
Hey, Great mentioned that you're on a trip today, huh?
There have been so many, l just can't keep track.
Hey did I ever tell you, you're exactly the same size as my sister.
l mean, you fit into her costume perfectly.
Really?
Yeah, l was just thinking, you know,
with all the publicity that's piled up between us when Billy gets us off,
would we be a natural to do an act together.
You think so huh?
Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Velma Kelly in an act of desperation.
My sister and l had an act that couldn't flop.
My sister and l were headed straight for the top.
My sister and l earned a thou a week at least.
Oh yeah
But my sister is now unfortunately deceased.
l know it's sad of course, but a fact is still a fact.
And now all that remains is the remains...
of a perfect...
double... act.
Watch this.
They have to imagine it with 2 people. lt's swell with two people.
First, l'd...
Then, she'd...
Then, we'd...
But l can't do it alone.
Then, she'd...
Then, l'd...
Then, we'd...
But l can't do it alone.
She'd say, what's your sister like?
l'd say, man.
She'd say, you're the cat's meow And we wow the crowd again.
When she'd go...
l'd go...
We'd go...
And then those ding-dong daddies started to roar Whistled, stomped, and stamped on the floor
Yelling, screaming, begging for more
And we'd say, okay, fellows. Keep your socks up.
Cause you ain't seen nothing yet.
But I simply cannot do it alone.
So what do you think?
Come on, you can say.
l know you're right. The first part is shit.
But the second part...
Second part is really nifty.
Okay, she'd go...
l'd go...
We'd go...
And then those two-bit Johnnies did it up brow
To cheer the best attraction in town
They really tore the balcony down
We'd say, okay, boys, we're going home.
But before we go, here's a few more partin' shots!
And this...this we did in perfect unison.
Now you've seen me going through it.
You may think there's nothing to it.
But l simply cannot do it...
Alone!
So where's the part we blew the brains out?
Okay, Roxie. l'll...
No, don't bother.
You think you're fooling me? You're all washed up.
And it's me they want now, and l'm a big star.
Single.
Oh l almost forgot. You're in the paper today too.
ln the back.
Velma Kelly's trial has been postponed indefinitely.
Seven words.
And here's a little piece of advice. Direct from me to you.
Lay off the caramels.
And now, for all you Chicago's stay-up-laters.
Night hours would only come alive at the dark.
We dedicate this tune Chicago After Midnight.
This all took place in Lesurevelt?
lncredible.
All right. Thanks.
They just arrest this woman for triple homicide.
Really?
Yeah, get this. She's an Aries!
Now her family is in the pineapple or grapefruit, some kind of fruits.
The demon Kitty works in something... She's playing house.
On the north side in an apartment, she met Harry.
What Harry does for living, no one's quite sure.
But it doesn't really matter cause she's paying all the bills.
Anyhow, Kitty comes home tonight. Harry was already in bed, which is a part of his course from Harry
She goes to change. When she returns, she notices something rather odd.
Extremely odd
Kitty disappears for a second.
Cool as a cucumber
And she returns, she gently wakes up Harry.
Harry says, ''What? l'm alone!''
She says, ''Alone? Yyou have two other women in bed with you!''
And Harry says, ''Come on, darling, you gonna believe what you see or what l tell you?''
Good night, folks.
Miss Baxter, Miss Baxter!
Mary Sunshine from The Evening Star.
Would you mind saying a word or two?
Sure l'll say three. Go to hell!
Please direct your questions to the counsel.
You're not my counsel l want my money back!
lt's not your money. lt's your mother's money.
Are you sorry, dear?
Yeah, l'm sorry, sorry l got caught.
Oh hey, Miss Sunshine. Not now, Roxie.
l got a letter from a guy. He says he's gone on a hungry strike until l'm free.
That's nice.
Miss Baxter, did you know these two ladies personally?
Did l know these two ladies personally? Was that your question?
Yeah, that's my ques...
She's very hot spirit, isn't she?
Miss Baxter...
Oh hey, Mr. Flynn.
-Yeah, hi, Tracy. -lt's Roxie.
Yeah, sure, l'm just kidding.
Did you get my trial date yet?
-Listen, kid. -l'm on top of your list, right?
Go to hell!
What a helling, huh? And social-like too.
Her mother owns all the pineapples in Hawaii.
What the hell do l care about pineapples?
All right...
And now, that's all, direct all your questions
And afterwards l'll be happy to get back to you myself.
Billy...
How does it feel, kid?
Pretty soon we couldn't find your name in the papers.
Mr. Flynn?
Someone open this door immediately.
Oh, my God. Roxie! What is it to you?
Oh, no. Don't worry about me.
l only hope the fall didn't hurt the baby.
Baby?
Shit!
Roxie, when did this happen darling?
Well, doctor, is she or isn't she?
She is.
Would you swear that statement in court?
-Yes. -Good. Button your fly.
I would...
I would just like to say that when my own life doesn't matter now.
just that of my unborn child.
Poor dear, to have your baby born in jail.
My readers won't stand for that.
l can assure you that won't happen.
The trial would come in the least possible moment.
First time we're ever have one more girl knocked up.
Hey, Roxie...
Roxie! l just have the good news!
l'm the father.
Hey, Roxie, who's the father?
The question is completely out of line.
How dare you insult this brave young woman?
That's enough
Roxie, honey! lt's me, it's daddy!
Roxie, l'd get to you as soon as l could.
If someone stood up in a crowd
And raised his voice up way out loud
And waved his arm and shook his leg
You'd notice him
If someone in the movie show Yelled "Fire in the second row
This whole place is a powder keg!"
You'd notice him
And even without clucking like a hen
Everyone gets noticed, now and then
Unless, of course, that personage should be
Invisible, inconsequential me!
Cellophane Mister Cellophane
Shoulda been my name
Mister Cellophane
'Cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I'm there...
I tell ya Cellophane Mister Cellophane
Shoulda been my name
Mister Cellophane
'Cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I'm there
Oh, l didn't see you. Sit down.
Look, Andy, l'm afraid l'm gotta hit you hard.
l can only hope you would think about it.
-Amos, my name is Amos. -Who says it wasn't?
lt was the kid's name l was thinking about.
You know when she's due? September.
You'd pass out those cigars anyway.
l don't want you to give a damn on the people. -People what?
-Laugh. -Laugh? Why would they laugh?
They can count. Can you count?
September.
lt's the copy of Roxie's first statement from D.A. office.
Says she hasn't copulated with you for four months prior to the incidents.
She would know. Yeah, l guess we've done no copulating since...
Wait a minute.
That doesn't figure out right. l couldn't be the father.
Well, forget about that now My client needs your support.
You mean she needs a meal ticket?
That's all l've ever been. But this time she's gone too far.
What're you gonna do? Divorce her?
You're damn right! l'll divorce her!
She probably won't even notice.
Yeah. l'm sorry.
A human being's made of more than air
With all that bulk, you're bound to see him there
Unless that human bein' next to you
Is unimpressive, undistinguished
You know who
-You're still here? -Yeah, l'm still here.
I think
Shoulda been my name
Mister Cellophane
'Cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I'm there
I tell ya Cellophane Mister Cellophane
Shoulda been my name
Mister Cellophane
'Cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I'm there
Never even know
I'm there
Hope l didn't take up too much of your time.
l've been waiting for you 10 minutes. Don't do that again.
This dress makes me look like a wulworth lampshade. l'm not wearing this.
You wear it because l tell you to wear it.
l'm not wearing this dress.
And when Andy's on the stand, l want you be knitting.
Knitting? For Christ's sake.
-A baby garment. -l don't know how to knit!
Then learn. -That's no way to win the jury's sympathy.
-You don't need advice anymore? -Look at here, Mr. Mouthpiece.
lt seems to me that l am the one who's coming up with the good ideas.
l'm sick of everybody telling me what to do. And you treat me like dirt.
You know that? You treat me like I'm some dumb, common criminal.
But you're some dumb, common criminal.
Well, it's better than being a greasy mick lawyer.
-We're happy who's saving your ass. -Who's out for all. He can steal!
Maybe you'd like to appeal on court without me.
Maybe l could. Have you read the morning papers? They love me.
There maybe a lot more when you're hanged. You know why? 'Cause it's sold more papers.
-You're fired. -l quit.
Any lawyer in this town would die to have my case.
You're a phony celebrity. You're a flash in the pan
ln a couple of weeks, no one would give a shit about you.
That's Chicago.
No! Not guilty!
What happened?
lt's Hunyak. She lost the last appeal.
So what does that mean?
What that means? Next week, she's gonna...
This is Mary Sunshine, coming to you from the Cook County Jail,
where history will be made today.
Katelin Helinsky would become the first woman in the state of lllinois to be executed.
And so ladies and gentlemen...
And now, ladies and gentlemen, for your pleasure and your entertainment,
we proudly present Katelin Helinsky and her famous Hungarian Disappearing Act.
Bravo!
You know, it's really not that bad.
You're clear with everything we agreed on?
Yup. l've been up all night rehearsing.
What do you do when Harrison comes after you?
l sit still and look straight ahead. Never look the jury.
-And? -And l look modest.
-And? -And...
-And say nothing. -That's right, that's right.
-That was the deal, right? -Right.
You ask me back, l do all the talking and stuff.
Absolutely, Billy. Whatever you say.
-Mr. Flynn, his honor is here. -Thank you.
You ready?
Yeah.
Billy...
l'm scared.
Na, don't be.
l've been around a long time. Believe me, you've got nothing to worry about.
lt's all a circus. A three-ring circus.
These trials, the whole world... it's all the show business.
But kid
You're working with a star
Give 'em the old razzle dazzle
Razzle dazzle 'em
Give 'em act with lots of flash in it
And the reaction will be passionate
Give 'em the old hocus pocus
Bead and feather 'em
How can they see with sequins in their eyes?
What if your hinges all are rusting?
What if, in fact, you're just disgusting?
Razzle dazzle 'em
And they'll never catch wise
Give 'em the old razzle dazzle
Razzle dazzle 'em
Give 'em a show that's so splendiferous
Row after row will grow vociferous
Give 'em the old flim flam flummox
Fool and fracture 'em
How can they hear the truth above the roar?
Throw 'em a fake and a finagle
They'll never know you're just a bagel
Razzle dazzle 'em
And they'll beg you for more
-Object! -Sustained.
Your honour, l haven't even asked a question yet.
Give 'em the old double whammy
Daze and dizzy 'em
Back since the days of old Methuselah
Everyone loves the big bambooz-a-ler
Give 'em the old three ring circus
Stun and stagger 'em
When you're in trouble, go into your dance
Though you are stiffer than a girder
They let ya get away with a murder
Razzle dazzle 'em
And you've got a romance
Hello, Amos.
Amos? That's right, Mr. Flynn. Amos
Amos, when did you file sue for divorce?
A month ago.
Was there any reason for filing at this particular time?
l'd say, the newspapers said Roxie was expecting a little stranger.
That's hardly a cause for divorce, isn't it?
A little too much of a stranger.
You mean you doubted the fraternity of the child.
Well sure.
Tell me something, Amos. You share a bed with your wife?
Yes, sir, every night.
You expect the jury to believe that
you slept next to this woman every night without exercising the rights of a husband?
-l could if l want to. -Oh, but you didn't.
-No, l did. -Did what?
-Want to. -But you didn't.
-Didn't what? -What you wanted.
Wait a minute, l'm getting confused here.
Hey, you tell me, Hart. Since you ever question Roxie herself,
did you even bother to ask her if you were the father of the child?
-No, sir. -No. What?
lf you became convinced that you were wrong, you'd be mad enough in a minute.
You would take her back if Roxie swore that you're the father of the child,
-which she does. -She does?
She does!
No more question! You can step down now.
Well done, Andy.
Roxie, l'm so sorry.
Give 'em the old razzle dazzle
Razzle dazzle 'em
Show 'em the first rate sorcerer you are
Long as you keep 'em way off balance
How can they spot you got no talents?
Razzle dazzle 'em
This is the moment we've been waiting for.
Roxie Hart finally takes the stand in her own defense.
And they'll make you a star!
Hold it!
Proceed, Mr. Flynn.
Roxie, l have here a statement which you admitted having illicit relations
with deceased Fred Casely. ls this statement true or false?
l'm afraid that's true.
You're an honestly girl, Roxie.
When did you first meet Fred Casely?
When he sold Amos and me our furniture.
Your personal relationship with him, you tell the jury when that began.
When l permitted him to escort me home one night,
l don't think l would've gone with him
if Mr. Hart and me hadn't quarreled that very morning.
-Quarreled? -Yes, sir.
Well, l supposed it was his fault.
Oh, no, sir. lt was my fault.
l supposed l just couldn't stop pestering him.
Pestering him? About what?
l didn't like him working those long hours at the garage.
l wanted him home with me... to darn his socks and iron his shirts.
l wanted a real home and a child.
So you drifted into this illicit relationship because you're unhappy at home.
Yes, was almost unhappy.
Roxie Hart!
The state has accused you the murder of Fred Casely.
Are you guilty or not guilty?
l'm not guilty...
I'm not guilty
l killed him, l did. But l'm not a criminal. l'm not a criminal...
I'm not a criminal
Roxie...
Do you recall the night of June 14th?
Could you tell the jury in your own words the happenings of that night.
Well when Fred came over, l told him a good news.
What was it?
That me and Amos are gonna have a baby. And it was all over between us.
What happened then?
Then...
Did he threaten you, Roxie?
Objection, your honour. Counsel is leading the witness.
Sustained.
What did Casely say when you told him the news?
l'll kill you before l see you have another man's child!
Could you tell the audience... the jury, what happened next?
ln his passion, he tore off my robe and he threw me on the bed.
And Mr. Hart's pistol was lying there between us.
And then!
And then we both reached for the gun but l got it first.
And then he came towards me with this awny look in his eyes.
He was angry and wild!
Wild!
And did you think that he might kill you?
Oh, yes, sir!
So was his life or yours?
And l just mine. l closed my eyes and l shot!
It is defense for your life!
To save my husband's innocent unborn child.
Order!
What a bull's eye, huh?
-Order in this courtroom! -Roxie!
It's come demonian here in the courtroom...
Mrs. Hart's behavior has been truly extraordinary.
Opening her eyes, she fenced herself with her attorney's handkerchief.
-Handkerchief? -Poor child has no relief.
She looks around now bewildered, seeming to want something.
lt's a glass of water.
Oh, Mama, that was my bid! l told Billy, l'm gonna do that at my trial!
But now her eyes flatter wildly and she...
Mrs. Hart has fainted again.
She flumps over her chiffon dress up around her knees,
revealing a glimpse of blue garter with Ryan-stone buckle.
Oh, Mama, she stole my garter. She stole my garter!
Don't break my radio!
First the slut steals my publicity, then she steals my lawyer, my trial date,
now she stole my goddamn garter.
What do you expect?
l mean these days you get a little success
and it's good rinse for the people who put you here.
lt ain't no justice in the world. That's nothing you can do about it.
Notes that
You think they got you a page just to listen to my radio?
People write some public interesting things when they think no one's looking.
Oh, Mama.
State calls a witness.
Left hand on the Bible, raise your right hand and swear you'd tell the truth, the whole truth, nothing but truth swear to God.
Have a seat.
Would you state your name for the record please.
Velma Kelly.
Miss Kelly, would you please tell the court of the object l'm holding
is the one you happen to come upon in the defendant jailhouse?
Yes, it is.
l submit this as Exhibitdex. Roxie Hart's diary.
l object! My client never kept a diary.
Even if she did, this would be invasion of privacy and violation of fourth amendment
and illegal search without a warrant.
Yeah, and she broke the law.
Order!
Well, let's settle that. l'll allow it.
What's the big deal? She's the one that did it.
lf you would read for us, Miss Kelly.
l haven't worked in a while.
What a laugh, plucking Fred Casely.
The big baboon had a common.
l'm just sorry l only got to kill him once.
l never wrote that. You... Hey, she made that up.
-She made that up! -Order!
Please, Mr. Flynn, get control of your client.
l'm sorry, you honour. lt won't happen again.
Sit down and shut up. Or else it gonna get worse.
l have no more questions.
Your witness, Mr. Flynn.
Ladies and gentlemen, a tap dance.
Tell me, Miss Kelly, you make a deal with Mr. Harrison
maybe to drop all charges against you in exchange of your testifying today?
No, sure. l'm not completed yet.
Good.
Then since you gave such an impressive performance for Mr. Harrison,
can you do me the same honour?
-l'd be delighted. -Thank you.
Fred Casely assured me to get me an audition down at the Onyx.
And then he reneged on his pledge and that was my motive for attack.
Pretty fancy. What you're saying
if a big fat liar who rogue on a deal so l shot him.
Amos accused me of having an affair.
So l told him that the charge was erroneous.
Objection, your honour.
Mr. Flynn is twisting the evidence to draw conclusion to the specious and the...
-Erroneous? -Exactly.
Order!
Miss Kelly, did you know the meaning of the word perjury?
Yes, l do.
-You also know that is a crime? -Yes.
And for example if it turns out you knew this diary was a fake,
l hate to think you rotting away in prison for the next 10 years
especially when you just win your freedom.
All l know is what l was told.
So... you didn't find this diary in Roxie's cell?
No.
Mama... Miss Morton gave it to me. She said someone sent it to her.
Someone? Any idea who this mysterious benefactor might be?
No. She didn't know.
All right, let's see if it's gonna work so
Someone who writes about reneging on pledges.
And... erroneous charges...
Call me crazy, does that sound like a lawyer to you?
A lawyer, who honestly had a sample of my client's handwriting.
Mr. Harrison, did you ask Roxie to write out a confession for you?
Yes, but you're not suggesting that l tempered with evidence, are you?
No, let's not be ridiculous.
That's certainly and utterly absurd.
Unless you mention it.
Your honour, this is outrageous.
Outrageous? Yes.
The prosecutor would made a thief bargain with notorious Velma Kelly.
And then fabricated the very evidence and set her free!
Mr. Flynn, hold your contempt.
No, it's not even conceivable.
But does it worked? Would it be time to say,
Come clean, Mr. Harrison, come clean...
Even with your , this kind of corruption. l cannot stand.
That's enough, Mr. Flynn!
l agree, your honour. That's enough!
Let defence rest
Ladies and gentlemen,
this is Mary Sunshine reporting live from the Cooke County Courthouse.
The city of Chicago has come to a complete stand still.
As the trial of century finally draw to a close.
Mrs. Hart sits quietly at the defense table, hands folded.
Wondering what fate has installed for her?
And how hushing over the courtroom
as the 12 men of the jury fall slowly back to their seats.
Gentlemen of the jury, have you reach a verdict?
We have, your honour.
The jury has reached a verdict.
The defendant please rise.
What is your verdict?
We, the jury, find the defendant...
"Guilty"
"Innocent"
Roxie Hart is innocent! She's innocent!
Get your paper
Roxie Hart is free!
She's free
Roxie
Come on! Move it!
She shoots her husband and she crossed the lawyer!
Hey, don't you wanna take my picture?
Hey, l'm the famous Roxie Hart.
Hey, what happened? What the hell happened?
lt's Chicago, kid. You can't beat fresh blood on the walls.
What about my publicity, Billy? My name in the papers.
l was counting on that.
Your attitude is not the one l get. l just save your life.
You got $5,000. What do l get? l get nothing.
Five? Actually it's ten once l collect from Velma.
l get nothing?
Don't forget your diary.
If you don't mind. l had a few erroneous phrases in there.
Sorry, l couldn't tell you.
Take a chance.
Never lost a case.
You're a free woman, Roxie Hart.
And God save lllinois.
Roxie.
What do you want?
l want you to come home.
You said you still wanted to... and the baby...
Baby, what baby?
Oh, Jesus.
What do you take me for?
There ain't no baby.
There ain't no baby?
They didn't even want my picture.
l just can't understand that.
Why didn't they even want my picture?
It's good, isn't it?
Grand, isn't it?
Great, isn't it?
Swell, isn't it?
Fun, isn't it?
Nowadays
Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Roxie Hart says Good Night.
There's man, everywhere
Jazz, everywhere
Booze, everywhere
Life, everywhere
Joy, everywhere
Nowadays
You can like the life you're living
You can live the life you like
You can even marry Harry
But mess around with Ike
And that's good, isn't it?
Grand, isn't it?
Great, isn't it?
Swell, isn't it?
Fun, isn't it?
But nothing stays
You can like the life you're living
You can live the life you like
Didn't she kill a guy a while back?
Yeah, who can keep it straight anymore?
But mess around with Ike
And that's good, isn't it?
Grand, isn't it?
Great, isn't it?
Swell, isn't it?
That's great. We'll be in touch.
You know l'm not quite finished yet. l have a...
Wait, don't go.
l could... just a second I'm not...
Goddamn it!
Thank you!
Here's your music, honey.
Thanks.
You know you're really pretty good.
Yeah.
What are you doing here?
l've been making around.
Well, if not fooled up by you, l'll be swinging right now.
Come on, l was there to get you off.
You should learn how to put things behind you.
Thank you. l'll put that at the top of my list
right after finding a job and an apartment with a john.
Can you shut up and listen to me?
You really are something.
Coming in here like some goddamn queen bee, full of advice for a poor slob like me.
Let me tell you something, Miss Velma Kelly.
l got a new life now.
And one of the best thing about it, is it don't include you.
Fine. l just thought we could help each other out.
Wait, you thought wrong, didn't you?
Now look, listen to me.
Look l talked to this guy downtown.
He says one chance hurts nothing these days, but two...
We can make a couple hundred a week.
Think about it, Roxie.
Our faces back in the papers our names in the market.
Velma Kelly and Roxie Hart.
Shouldn't it be alphabetical?
That could work.
A couple hundred? Maybe we can ask for a thousand.
We'll worth it.
Forget it, it'll never work.
-Why not? -'Cause l hate you.
There's only one business in the world that's no problem at all.
Ladies and gentlemen, the Chicago theatre is proud to announce the first.
The first time anywhere that's been an act out of this nation.
Not only one little lady, but two.
You read about them in the papers, and now here they are.
Chicago zone killer-dealers, the lady-sinners,
Roxie Hart and Velma Kelly!
You can like the life you're living
You can live the life you like
You can even marry Harry
But mess around with Ike
And that's good, isn't it?
Grand, isn't it?
Great, isn't it?
Swell, isn't it?
Fun, isn't it?
But nothing stays
In fifty years or so
It's gonna change, you know
But, oh, it's heaven
Nowadays
Okay, you babes of Jazz, Let's pick up the pace.
Let's make the party longer, let's make the skirt shorter.
Let's all go to hell in a fast car and KEEP IT HOT
Me and Roxie would just like to say thank you.
Thank you!
Believe us, we could've never done anything without you!
And all that Jazz
That Jazz