[CarTrunk Lid, Door Closing]
[ Car Engine Starts ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Sighs, Groans ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Groans ]
[ Exhales ]
[ Horn Blows ]
[Man On P.A. ] Montauk train on track "B. "
[Man ] Random thoughts for Valentine's Day,, 2004.
Today, is a holiday, invented by, greeting card companies...
[ Man On P.A. Continues ] Last call--
to make people feel like crap.
I ditched work today,.
Took a train out to Montauk.
[ Man On P.A. ] Montauk train boarding on track "B. "
I don 't know why,.
Aah! I'm not an impulsive person.
[ Panti ng ]
I guess Ijust woke up in a funk this morning.
I gotta get my, car fiixed.
H i. Ci ndy?
I t's J oel. J oel!
Listen, I don't feel very well today.
No, food poisoning, I think.
[Joel Continues ] It's goddamn fireezing on this beach.
Montauk in February.. Brilliant,Joel.
Page is ripped out.
Don't remember doing that.
It appears this is my, fiirst entry. in two y,ears.
Sand is overrated.
It's just tiny, little rocks.
Ifionly, I could meet someone new.
I guess my, chances ofithat happening are somewhat diminished,
seeing that I'm incapable ofimaking ey,e contact with a woman I don 't know.
May,be I should get back together with Naomi.
She was nice. Nice is good.
She loved me.
[ Woman Speaking, Faint ]
[ Chuckles Softly ]
[Joel Continues ] Why, do I fiall in love with every. woman I see...
who shows me the least bit ofiattention?
[ Train Horn Blows ]
H i.
I 'm sorry?
- I just said hi. - Hi. Hello. Hi.
Okay if I sit closer?
How far are you going?
Uh, Rockville Center.
Get out! Me too!
Really? What are the odds?
Do I knowyou?
Doyou ever shop at Barnes & Noble?
Sure. Sure. That's it!
Yeah? I've seen you, man!
Book slave there for, like, five years now.
Ah. I would have thought I would've remembered you. Jesus! Is it fiveyears?
It might be the hair.
What might? It changes a lot.
The color. That's whyyou might not recognize me.
It's called Blue Ruin, the color. Right. Yeah.
Snappy name, huh? Ilike it.
Yeah.
Anyway, this company makes a whole line of colors with equally snappy names.
Red-- Red Menace, Yellow Fever, Green Revolution.
That'd be a job, coming up with those names.
You think there could possibly be a job like that?
I mean, how many hair colors could there be? Fifty, maybe.
Someone's got that job.
Agent Orange! I came up with that one.
I apply my personality in a paste.
Oh, I doubt that very much.
Well, you don't know me, so...
you don't know, doyou?
Sorry. I was just-- I'm trying to be nice.
Yeah. I got it.
[ Inhaling ]
[ Sniffs ]
[ Sighs ]
My name's Clementine, by the way. I'm Joel.
Hi,Joel. Hey.
Nojokes about my name.
Oh, no, you wouldn't do that. You're trying to be nice.
I don't know anyjokes aboutyour name.
Huckleberry Hound.
I don't know what that means.
Huckleberry Hound? What areyou, nuts?
It's been suggested. [ Chuckles ]
@ Oh, my darlin', oh, my darlin' Oh, my darlin' Clementine @
@You were lost and gone forever @
@ Dreadful sorry Clementine @@
[Laughing] No?
I'm sorry.Just-- It's a pretty name, though. It really is nice.
It's, uh-- It means "merciful."
Right? Clemency?
Although it hardly fits.
I'm a vindictive little bitch, truth be told.
Gee, I-I wouldn't think that aboutyou.
Whywouldn'tyou think that about me? I don't know.
I just--
I don't know. I just, uh--
You seem nice, so--
Oh, now I'm nice?
Oh, God. Don't you know any other adjectives?
I don't need "nice."
I don't need myselfto be it, and I don't need anybody else to be it at me. Okay.
[ Clementine ] Joel?
It's Joel, right?
Yes.
I'm sorry I yelled at you.
I'm a little out of sorts today.
[ Exhales ]
My embarrassing admission is,
I really like thatyou're nice right now.
I mean, I can't tell from one moment to the next what I'm gonna like,
but right now...
I'm glad you are.
[ Giggles ]
I have so much stuff that, uh, I probably should, uh--
Oh! I'm sorry. Okay. I-I'm writing, and--
No, no. I just-- Sure. No. That's okay.
I just have-- You know, this is-- Okay.
- Ohh! Hey! - Take care, then.
Jesus!
@@ [ Radio: Pop ]
Hi. I could, uh, give you a ride, ifyou need.
It's cold.
Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah?
It is frosty.
You're not a stalker or anything, right? I'm not a stalker.
You're the one that talked to me. Remember?
That is the oldest trick in the stalker book.
Really? There's a stalker book?
Mm-hmm. Okay,.
I gotta read that one.
Look, I'm sorry if I came off sorta nutso. I'm not, really.
Oh, it's okay. I didn't thinkyou were.
Did you wanna have a drink?
I have lots of drinks, and I could, um--
Um--
[ Chuckles ] Never mind.
Sorry. That was stupid. I'm embarrassed now. No, no, no, no.
Good night,Joel.
Two Blue Ruins.
Thankyou.
Drink up, young man.
It'll make the whole seduction part less repugnant.
I'm just kidding!
[ Laughs ] Come on.
[ Exhales ]
You're kinda closed-mouthed, aren'tyou?
[Whispers ] I'm sorry.
It's just, you know, my life isn't that interesting.
I go to work, I come home.
Don't know what to say,.
You should read myjournal.
I mean, it's just... blank.
Really,? Does that makey,ou sad oranxious?
I mean, I'm always anxious, thinking I'm not living my life to the fullest,
taking advantage of every possibility,
making sure I'm not wasting one second ofthe little time I have.
I think about that. Yeah?
[ Both Laughing ]
You're really nice.
Ohh! God, I have to stop saying that.
I'm gonna marryyou.
Iknowit. [Slurps Drink]
Um... okay.
Joel, you should come up to the Charles with me sometime.
It gets frozen this time ofyear.
That sounds scary. Exactly.
I'll pack a picnic.
A night picnic. Night picnics are different.
And, um, we could--
Sounds good.
But I-- I should, uh, go. Now.
You should stay.
No, I really-- I'm-- I--
I have to get up so early.
I would likeyou to call me.
Would you do that? I would like it.
Yes.
Wish me a happyValentine's Day when you call!
That'd be nice.
[ Beeping ]
[ Line Ringing ]
[ Clementine] What tookyou so long?
I justwalked in.
Mm-hmm. You miss me?
Yeah. Oddly enough, I do.
Oh! [ Laughs ]
You said "I do." I guess that means were married.
[ Laughs ] I guess so.
Tomorrow night? Honeymoon on ice?
It's really solid this time ofyear.
Whoa! I don't know.
Come on. Come on. Eee!
Come on. Come on, come on.
[ Sighs ] Whew.
Oh. So beautiful.
[Clementine ] Isn't it?
[ Sighs ]
[ Giggling ] Uh, don't go too fiar.
- Whoo! Oww! Ow! - Whoa! Oh!
- Are you okay? - Ouch! Fuck it.
Ohh! Oh, my,ass!
[ Grunts ]
I think I should go back. Come on. Come on!
What if it breaks?
- "What if'? Do you really care right now? - Huh?
Come here. Please.
[ Whispers ] Come on.
[ Mutters ]
Ohh. Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Slidy-slidy. Slidy-slidy. Whoa! [ Chuckles ]
This is good. Here, let me show you this one thing.
What areyou doing? Whoa.
[ Sighs ] Come on.
Think I heard a crack.
[ Laughing ] It's not gonna crack or break or--
It's so thick.
Show me which constellations you know.
Um-- Oh.
I don't... know any.
Show me which ones you know.
Okay.
Oh. Here's Osidius.
Where?
Right there. See?
Sort of a swoop and a cross.
Osidius the Emphatic.
[ Laughs ]
You're full of shit. Right? Nope.
Osidius is right there. Swoop and cross.
[ Laughing ] Shut the fuck up!
[ Whispers ] Clementine.
Cock-a-doodle-doo.
Hey. Hey.
Sorry to wakeyou, but we're... here.
[ Sighs ] Ahh.
Can I come over to your house...
to sleep?
I'm so tired. [ Sighs ]
Okay. Um, yeah. Sure.
Let me get my toothbrush. Yeah. Oh.
Just--
Yes?
Can I helpyou? What doyou mean?
Can I helpyou with something? [ Sniffles ]
No.
What areyou doing here?
I'm not really sure whatyou're asking me.
Oh.
Thanks.
@ I needy,ourlovin'@
@ Like thesunshine@
@ Every.body,'s gotta learn sometime @
@ Every.body,'s gotta learn sometime @@
@@ [ Stops ]
[ Man # 1 ] We're looking for 1 59. [ Man #2 ] What number's that?
[ Man # 1 ] I don't know where that is.
Jesus Christ, y,ou'd think they,'d light the number, or at least put a number on--
[ Man #2 ] Is that him? [ Man # 1 ] I think so.
Yeah, that's hi m. Wait. That's him.
[ Giggling]
Hey,,Joel. Frank.
Oh, shit.
Jesus. The only, Valentine's Day, cards I get are firom my, mother.
How pathetic is that, huh?
You're lucky you have Clementine, man.
She is way cool.
Hey, you got any big Valentine's Day plans with her?
No.
Well, it's only a day away. Better make some reservations or something.
Don't want to end up at Mickey D's. Right? [ Chuckling ]
McRomance!
You want some fries with that shake?
I have to, uh, go to sleep now, Frank.
It's 8:30.
@@[Man #1 Singing, Falsetto ] [Man #2 ] Patrick, stop it.
[ Sighs ]
Ohh! Okay.
Okay. Okay.
Whew. Okay.
[Man #1 ] Showtime at the Apollo.
Shh, shh, shh. Hey.
[ Whispers ] Quiet.
[ Grunting ]
[Equipment Dropping Onto Floor]
[Frank ] Hey,,Joel. What's up?
[Joel] Oh. Hi, Frank.
[ Mailbox Door Opening, Closing] [ Key,s Jingling]
[ Sighs ] I only, get Valentine 's Day, cards firom my, mom.
How pathetic is that? [ Man's Voice Echoing, Indistinct ]
You're I ucky you have Clementine, J oel.
Hey, you got, uh, any, uh, big Valentine's Day plans with her?
[ Whispers ] No.
It's only a day away.
Better make a reservation or something.
Don't wanna end up at Mickey D's.
[ Chuckling ] [Woman ] Oh, no!
[Joel] Yes! Valentine's Day, is three goddamn day,s away,! I want it resolved.
I'm willing to be the one to resolve it.
So I cal I her, and she's changed her num ber.
[Joel] So I walked over to Antic Attic, you know, to get her something.
I thought I'd go over to work, give her an early, valentine, and--
You won't bel ieve it.
She's there with...
this guy, this really young guy.
And she looks at me like she doesn't even know who I am.
Excuse me?
Can I help you find something, sir?
[ Chuckles ]
Hey,, Clem-ato.
Patrick! Baby boy.
Whaty,ou doing here, baby,? [Patrick ] Just came to surprisey,ou.
Let me know ifyou need something, sir. You look good.
- [ Patrick ] Hi. - [ Kiss ]
How are y,ou? [ Clementine ] Pretty, good. Pretty, bored. Pretty, tired.
[ Patrick ] Uh-huh.
[ Clementine ] I so want what's in y,our suit. Oh, good.
[ Panti ng ]
Why?
Why would she do that to me?
Hey, does anybody want a joint?
Oh, God, Rob, give it a rest.
Oh, God. She's punishing me.
I know, honey. For being honest.
It's horrible. I should just go to her house.
No! No, no, no. You don't wanna go there, man. You don't wanna go there.
Get off. It's too--
Right. Yeah.
I don't want to seem desperate.
Joel, why don't you just see this as a sign, make a clean break. Right?
Right? [Joel Groans ]
All right,Joel, look, man, seriously,.
[ Woman ] Rob! Here's the deal.
Don't do that. Rob, what are you doing? No, no, no, no.
What's your fucking suggestion, Carrie? What's your brilliant, reasoned solution?
You're gonna make this about our shit now? This isn't about us.
Iagree. It's not about us. It's aboutJoel, who's an adult. Okay,?
Not Mama Carrie's kid.
- What arey,ou-- - That's your laundry!
That's great. That's good. [ Dog Barks ]
Okay.
What is it? [ Rob ] I don't know. It's some place that does a thing.
[ Woman ] Good morning. Lacuna.
No, I'm sorry.. That offer expired after the newy,ear.
Yeah, sure. We can fit you i n--
How about on the fifth?
That's a Wednesday,. All right, great. Couldy,ou spell that, please?
Okay,, and we'll need a daytime phone number.
Great. Have a nice day. See you then.
May I hel p you?
I 'm J oel Barish. Excuse me?
I 'm Joel. Barish. I have an appointment with Dr.--
Mierzwiak.
- Here. Could you please fill this out? - I just want to talk to him.
You still need to fill the form out, sir. Really?
- Thankyou. - [ Mutters ] Great.
I don't have a pen.
There's a pen right there. [Phone Rings ]
Goodmorning. Lacuna. Oh.
Oh,y,eah, that offer. That's done now. That expired after the newy,ear.
Mr. Barish?
How are we today?
Not too good, actually.
Boo! Oh, my God! Stan!
Sorry. Sorry, I was just-- I'm working!
[ Mutters ] Sorry. Sorry.
[ Whispers ] Here, Doctor. Thankyou.
You should not have seen this.
I apologize.
This is a hoax, right? I mean, this is Clem--
I assureyou, no. [Woman ] No.
Mm-mmm. There's no such thing as this.
Look, our files are confidential, Mr. Barish,
so I can't showyou evidence.
Suffice it to say that Miss, uh-- Miss Kruczynski was not happy,
and she wanted to move on.
[Dr. Mierzwiak] We provide that possibility,.
"Miss Kruczynski was not happy and wanted to move on. [Banging]
We provide that possibility."
What the hell is that?
Nicest guy she everwent out with.
[Rob ] Oww! Fuck!
God, Rob! Give it a rest!
It's okay. It's all right.
Carrie, I am making a birdhouse.
What can Isay,,Joel? You know Clementine. She's like that.
She's impulsive.
She decided to erase you almost as a lark.
[ Sighs ]
A lark.
[ Sobbing ] Why? Why? Why? Why did you do that?
[Woman ] Wait, wait, wait, wait!
I'm sorry, Doctor. He just barged right in here.
Okay. I want it done. I told him pre-Valentine's Day is our busy time.
- Oh, th-th-that's-- that's okay, Mary. - But there are people waiting.
Mr. Barish, ifyou'd like to, uh-- to come inside.
And, Mary, ifyou could take care of Mrs. Woo. Good-bye, Mrs. Woo. Yes, oficourse.
Now, the, uh--
the first thing we need you to do, Mr. Barish,
is to go home...
and collect everythingy,ou own that has some association with Clementine.
Anything.
And we'll use these items to create a map ofiClementine in y,our brain.
Okay,?
So we'll need, uh, uh, photos, clothing, gifts,
books she may, have bought y,ou, CDs y,ou may, have bought together,
journal entries.
We want to empty,y,our home--
We want to empty,y,our I ife ofiClementine.
And after the mapping is done, our technicians will do the erasing in y,our home tonight.
That way,, when y,ou awake in the morning,
you'll fiindy,ourselfiin y,our own bed as ifinothing had happened--
a new life awaitingy,ou.
[ Ti res Screech ] [ Driver ] Wake up, buddy!
[ Mary.] No, I'm sorry., Mrs. Sobel.
You can't have the procedure done three times in one month.
Wel l, it's just not our policy-- How are you today, Mr. Barish?
Hello. I'm right here.
I know it's an emergency, and we'll do everything we can-- We can fit you in on the first of March.
May,bey,ou could talk to the doctor, a-and he--
All right, so let's make an appointment. What day, wouldy,ou like to come in this week?
Mr. Barish. U m, he's real ly busy this afternoon.
May,be tomorrow would be better. Around 12:15? Can y,ou do that?
February is very busy for us because ofValentine's Day.
[ Chuckles ]
[ Knocks ]
@@ [DixielandJazz]
This is, uh, Stan Fink,
one ofiourmost experienced andskilled technicians.
@@ [ Continues ]
He'll be handling your case tonight.
Great to meet you, Mr. Barish.
My name is Joel Barish,
and I'm here to erase Clementine Kruczynski.
Very good. Now, tell me about, uh, Clementine.
Uh, I was...
Iiving with this woman, Naomi,
uh, a coupleyears ago,
and my friends Rob and Carrie invited us to this party at the beach-- I don't like parties.
Naomi couldn't go, but I went...
and I, uh, met Clementine.
[Pencils Clattering On Floor] I 'm sorry.
Let's start with your most recent memories...
and work backwards from there, more or less.
There's an emotional core...
to each of our memories,
and when you eradicate that core it starts its degradation process.
By the timeyou wake up in the morning,
all the memories we've targeted will have withered and disappeared,
as in a dream upon waking.
Is there any risk ofbrain damage?
Well, uh, technically speaking,
the procedure is brain damage,
but it's on a parwith a night ofheavy drinking.
Nothing you'll miss.
Comfortable?
Whatwe're doing here, Mr. Barish, is actually creating a map ofyour brain.
[Mierzwiak] Okay,, let's getstarted.
Ifiwe want to get this procedure underway,tonight, we have some work to do.
I want you to react to these objects, Mr. Barish, ifyou will.
[ Clementine Whooping, Laughing]
There's a good story behind this one--
Uh, actually, Mr. Barish, I'll get a much better emotional readout...
ifyou refrain from any sort of verbal description ofthe items.
Just try to focus on the memories.
Oh. Sorry. Okay.
[Stan ] Healthy,activity,up there again. Healthy,readouts. Very. good.
- Here's another object. - [ Clementine's Voice ] That's so--
Next item. Okay.
Potato head. [ Chuckles ]
- Next item. Okay. - [ Electronic Crackling]
[Stan, Voice Electronically, Processed] Just focus on the memories. Patrick, do me a fiavor.
[ Stan ] Hey,, Patrick, do me a fiavor, willy,a? [ Patrick ] Yeah.
[ Stan ] Can y,ou check the voltage regulator? What do we got there?
U h, voltage looks fi ne. Real ly?
Wel l, I 'm not wi pi ng as clean as I like here. I 'm-- [ Scoffs ]
[ Mierzwiak's Voice, Distant ] Well, uh, technically, the procedure is brain damage.
Check the, uh-- Check the connections, please.
Oh, there you are. I --
Why am I -- I don't understand what I'm looking at.
Why am I standing here and--
Oh, my God. Deja vu.
This is so--
All right, we should get started. Ifwe're gonna get the procedure...
[ Simultaneously] underway tonight, we have some work to do.
[ Whispering ] I'm in my head already, aren't I?
I suppose so. Uh, this is about right.
This is what it-- This is what itwould look like.
Very good.
[ Simultaneously] We'll dispose ofthese mementos when we're done here.
Thatwayyou won't be confused later by their unexplainable presence in your home.
[ Stan ] Ah, there we go.
Patrick? Yeah?
[Stan's Voice, Echoing] Patrick, cany,ou check-- Patrick?
I'm gettingsome sort ofireadout ofimy, own voice. Patrick? Patrick?
- Why are there so many wires? - [Stan ]A lot ofiequipment.
- Does that help? -[Stan ]Arey,ou sure you set that thing up properly,?
[Patrick ] How's that? [Mary.] How arey,ou today,, Mr. Barish?
There we are, Mr. Barish. [Stan's Voice ] That's better.
- I don't know if I like this. - Think I might try this, then.
We're almost done now.
Mmm.Journal. That would be invaluable.
[Stan's Voice, Electronically,Accelerated] "I met someone tonight. I don't know what to do.
Her name is Clementine, and she's amazing. "
- [ Scream i ng ] - Whoa! J esus!
What? What? Come on! Careful! Step back!
Just take it easy,.
[ Beeps ] That's fine.
Let's not roach the guy.
[ Sighs ]
All right, you got that one.
This place is sort of a dump, don't you think? It's an apartment, Patrick.
[ Whispers ] Patrick.
Well, not a dump, then, but sorta plain. Uninspired.
And there's sort ofi a stale smell.
Patrick, can wejust please get through this?
We got a very long night ahead of us. Come on. Yeah. Yeah.
[ Door Unlocking, Opening]
[Joel Whispering] This is the last time I sawy,ou.
[Joel Clears Throat, Sighs ]
[ Heavy Sigh ]
I t's 3:00.
I kinda sorta wreckedy,our car.
[ Sighs ] Were y,ou driving drunk?
It's pathetic.
I was a little tipsy,.
Don't call me pathetic.
Wel l, it is pathetic.
I t's fucki ng i rresponsible. Could've killed somebody. [Sighs ] Oh, God.
Maybe you did kill somebody. Should we turn on the news and see? Oh, Christ!
Should I check the grill to see ifithere's any, children or small animals? I didn't kill anybody!
It's just a fucking dent, Joel. You're like an old lady or something.
Well, what are you like?
A wino? A wino?
[ Laughing ] Jesus, areyou from the '50s or something?
A wino?
Face it,Joely.
You're freaked out because I was out late withoutyou,
and in your little wormy brain...
you're trying to figure out, did she fuck someone tonight?
No, see, Clem,
I assume you fucked someone tonight.
Isn't that howyou get people to likeyou?
[Sighs ] I'm sorry.. Okay,?
Clem, I didn't mean it. All right?
Clem? Yourkey,s.
I was just-- I was just-- [ Sighs ] I won't need them anymore.
Angry or annoyed or something, I don't know.
[DoorSlams ] Clem?
[ ComputerBeeps ] [Stan ] Got it.
Mary's coming over tonight.
[Patrick] Yeah? Yeah.
Just thoughty,ou'd wanna know.
[Patrick ] I like Mary.. I like when she comes to visit. Ijust don't think she likes me.
She likes you okay.
Maybe I should invite my girlfriend over. I have a girlfriend now.
Do whateveryou want. Did I tell you I have--
[ Clicks Tongue ] Yeah.
[Key,board Ty,ping]
Did I tell you I have a new girlfriend?
We gotta focus here, Patrick.
Yeah, the thing is,
our situation is-- is a little weird.
My girlfriend situation.
I'm sure it is. [ Laughs ]
You gotta be--
[ Engine Starts ]
Clem, let me driveyou home.
Get out ofimy,fiace, fiaggot!
Look at it out here! It's all fialling apart!
I'm erasing you, and I'm happy!
You did it to me first!
I can't believe you did this to me. Goddamn it.
Clem! Can you hear me?
By morning you'll be gone!
The perfect ending to this piece-of-shit story!
[ Engine Knocking ]
[Patrick] Is there something wrong with a girl being attracted to me? Is that a problem?
[Stan ] No, I think it's... funny,.
[ Patrick ] So, who do y,ou think's better-looking, me or this guy,?
[ Stan ] Patrick, let's focus, buddy,.
[ Patrick ] Remember that girl we did last week?
The one with the... potatoes?
[ Stan ] That girl? That's this guy,'s girl.
[ Patrick ] Right. [ Stan ] Yeah.
[ Stan Chuckling ] Was. We took care ofithat.
Oh, God! Well, uh...
I ki nda fel I i n love with her that night.
[ Laughing ] What? You little fuck--
What? She was unconscious, man.
Well, she was beautiful, and...
I stole a pair ofher panties as well.
Jesus! What?
It's not like--
I mean, theywere clean and all. Don't tell me this stuff, man! I don'twanna hearthis shit!
[Patrick] They,were clean! [Stan ] What? D-Don't!Stop!
[Patrick] Okay,. Yeah!All right! [Stan ] We got work to do.
[ Computer Beeps ] [Stan ] Give me my,papers.
[ Crunching ]
[ Slurps ]
[ Patrick ] There's, um-- [ Sighs ]
There's more.
After we did her, I kind of...
went to where she works and asked her out.
[Stan ] You what?
[ Mutters ] Jesus. Jesus, Patrick!
Do y,ou have... any, idea...
how unethical--
[ Laughing ] It's not really that bad.
What? Get that look offyour face. What's wrong?
[Stan Continues, Echoing] Patrick,y,ou stole a girl's panties!
[ High-pitched Giggling ]
[ Laughing ]
There's someone here.
He stole your underwear.
[ Voice Wavering, Electronically Altered ] I don't see anyone.
[Clock Ticking]
[TV: Man Talking, Audience Laugh Track ] [ Clementine ]Joel?
Where are my, boots?
[ TV: Man ] Why, are y,ou showing me poisons? Can'ty,ou understand English?
" Potions," I said. Potions.
[ Laugh Track Continues ]
[ TV: Grandpa Munster] Love potion, please.
I'm fucking crawling out of my skin!
Should've left you at the flea market.
[TV: Grandpa Munster] First thing to do is--
[ Chuckles ] sift in a cup ofipowdered whale heart.
Wanna go?
I want to have a baby.
[ Chuckles ] Let's talk about it later.
No! I want to have a baby.
I don't think we're ready.
You're not ready.
Clem, do you really think you could take care of a kid?
[ Scoffs ] What?
[ Mutters ] I don't wanna talk about it here.
I can't hearyou. I can never the fuck understand whatyou're saying.
[ Whispering ] I don't wanna talk about this! Fucking ventriloquist!
We're fucking gonna talk about it! I... don't... want... to--
You can't just say something like that and sayyou don't wanna talk about it!
[ Whispering ] I'm sorry, Clem. I'd make a fucking good mother!
I love children, I'm creative and smart, and I'd make a fucking great mother! Oh, God-- Mmm!
[ Voice Echoing ] It's you,Joel. It's you who can't commit to anything!
It's going! It's going! You have no idea how luckyyou are I'm interested in you!
[Voice Fading, Echoing ] Maybe I should end this right here,Joel!
Leaveyou at the flea market with this stupid costumejewelry! It's done. This is crap.
Maybeyou could find yourself an antique rocking chair to die in! All the pain, confusion--
[Doorbell Rings ]
Oh. Hi, Patrick. Hi, Mary. How's it goin'?
Hey,,y,ou. Oh, it's freezing outside.
[Stan ] Find us okay,? [Mary.] Yeah.
Mmm. Hot!
Poor guy.
Mmm? Oh.
Don't you have anything real to drink?
Uh, we haven't really, checkedy,et.
Patrick? Uh, yeah.
Uh, let me do the honors.
Mary hates me.
Never really had much luck with the ladies.
Maybe ifyou stop stealing their panties.
[Ty,ping On Key,board] [Patrick Whispering] Stan. Stan.
There's more. No!
Yes. No!
Hey, hey! [ Mock Whispering ] [Stan Laughing]
Oh, you didn't want any, did you, Patrick?
Uh, no, that's okay. Wait.
"Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even oftheir blunders."
[ Clink]
[ Laughing ] Oh.
Oh! Oh!
[Patrick Laughing] Mmm!
[ Groans ]
That's Nietzsche. Bey,ond Goodand Evil.
I found it in my Bartlett's.
What's your Bartlett's?
It's a quote book, Patrick.
It's a book of quotations.
I think Howard will be in Bartlett's one day.
Definitely. Howard is pure Bartlett's.
[ Crash ] [Mary.Laughs ] God!
[Patrick Laughing] Can you wake him up?
[Patrick Laughing] You can't wake him up.
[ Patrick Continues Laughing] [ Stan Yells ]
Mmm.
[ Moans ]
You don't tell me things,Joel.
I'm an open book.
I tell you everything.
Every damn embarrassing thing.
You don't trust me.
Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating.
I don't do that.
I want to knowyou.
Hmm?
I don't constantlytalk. Jesus!
People have to share things,Joel.
Mm-hmm.
That's what intimacy is.
I'm really pissed thatyou said that to me.
I'm sorry.
Itjust-- reallyjust isn't that interesting.
[Clementine] I wanna readsome ofithosejournals you're constantly,scribbling in.
What doy,ou write in there ifiy,ou don't have any, thoughts orpassions or...
Iove?
[Joel's Voice ] November 1 9, 2003.
Dinner at Kang's again.
Are we like those poor couples...
you feel sorry. for in restaurants?
Are we the dining dead?
I can't stand the idea of us bei ng a couple people think that about.
[ Whispers ] I like that.
How's the chicken?
Good.
More? No. No. Thankyou.
[Joel's Voice ] She's gonna be drunk andstupid now.
Hey, would you do me a favor...
and clean the goddamn hair off the soap when you're done in the shower?
Yeah. Oh. Yeah. It's really,...
- Gross. - gross.
- It's just-- - Repulsive.
It's repulsive.
[Phone Beep Dialing]
[ Line Ringing ] [Stan ] Patrick, can we get through this?
Patrick.
[Patrick ] Hey,, Tangerine.
[ Clementine On Phone ] Oh, Patrick, it's y,ou.
[ Sighs ] I'm so miserable right now.
[ Patrick ] Why,? What's wrong? [ Clementine ] I don 't know.
[ Voice Electronical ly Altered ] Excuse me? I'm so confused!
Can I help y,ou fiind something, sir?
[ Patrick ] Confused? What are y,ou confused about? Everything's fiine.
[ Voice Electronical ly Altered ] Baby, come here.
[ Patrick ] Scared ofiwhat?
[ Clementine ] Do y,ou love me? [ Patrick ] Oficourse I do.
[ Whispers ] Where's the self-help section?
[ Clementine Sobbing] Do y,ou think I'm ugly,?
[ Patrick ] No! You're beautiful! [ Dishes Rattle ]
May,be I should come over. [ Clementine ] No, no.
I don't know. I-I'm a mess, Patrick.
[ Patrick ] Well,just let me come over. I'll cheery,ou up.
[ Clementine ] Okay,.
Stan, can I leave for a whi le? My gi rlfriend's really upset.
We're right in the middle of erasing this poor man's--
[ Garbled ] Let him go, Stan!
[ Garbled ] Let him go. I'll help.
See? How hard can it be?
- She hates me. She wants me to go. - Go.
All right. I'll be right over, Tangerine.
You like?
[ Laughing ] Oh, man!
I matched my sweatshirt exactly.
I like it. You do?
You look like a tangerine. Ohh!
"Clemen-teen" the tangerine. Mmm! Juicy!
And seedless. I like that.
I like tangerines!
Can you see me doing ducks?
Tangerine. Joel. Ducks. Quack-quack.
How does he know to call you that? How did who know?
Oh, my God. Clem? [Mary.] This is pretty,cool.
That's what they called themselves.
The Clash-- the only band that mattered.
They called themselves that for a reason.
It's amazing, isn't it? Like social justice-- Yeah, it's totally incredible.
What Howard gives to the world.
Yeah. [Beeping]
To let people begin again.
[ Punches Keys ]
It's beautiful.
You look at a baby, and it's so pure and so free and so clean.
And adults are, like, this mess ofsadness...
and... phobias.
Howard just makes it all go away.
Oh, my,God.
Baby, what's going on? I don't know. I don't know!
I'm lost, I'm scared,
I feel like I'm disappearing.
Disappearing? My skin's coming off!. I'm getting old!
Nothing makes any sense to me! You're not getting old.
Nothing makes any sense. Nothing makes any sense. Ohh, Tangerine.
Nothing makes any sense.
Nothing makes any sense, Patrick. It's okay. It's okay.
Hey, let's go out dancing. Yeah? You wanna go out to Montaukwith me?
Montauk? Yeah.
No! Come up to Boston with me. Sure. Yeah. We can go next weekend.
No, no. Now. Now. Yeah. I have to go now.
I have to see the frozen Charles now.
@@ [Rock] [ Giggling ]
[Answering Machine:Joel] Hi, it'sJoel.
Um, leave a message after the beep and I'll get back to y,ou.
[ Beeps ]
[ Patrick On Answering Machine ] Pick up! Pick up, man!
W-W-W-W-Whoa. Hold on, hold on, hold on. [ Laughing ]
@@ [ Continues ]
Hello? Yeah, what's up?
I got into a little situation with the old lady,.
Can you handle things tonight alone? I'm really sorry, man.
Don't worry about it. I got it under control, man. [ Continues Giggling ]
He's pretty much on autopilot right now anyway. Thanks, Stan. I oweyou big-time.
Dude, I gotta go. I gotta go.
[ Muttering ] Charles.
Come on, Charles.
"Look! You and me on the Charles River. I could die right now, Clem.
I'm just happy. I've never felt that before. I'm just exactlywhere I want--"
I'm so excited. Yea. I'm excited too!
Cool. Oh, uh, I, uh--
I got you this...
What? thing, um--
Happy earlyValentine's Day.
Oh!
Wow. What is it?
Uh, I don't know. Open it up.
Oh.
It-- It's gorgeous!
- You like it? - Yeah. It's just my taste. Really.
I've never gone out with a guy who bought me a piece ofjewelry I liked.
Thankyou.
Let's go. Okay.
Joely? Yeah, Tangerine?
Am I ugly,?
Mm-mmm. When I was a kid, I thought I was.
[ Sighs ] Can't believe I'm crying already.
Sometimes I think people don't understand how lonely,it is to be a kid.
Like y,ou don't matter.
So, I'm eight...
and I have these toy,s,
these dolls.
My, fiavorite is this ugly, girl doll who I call Clementine.
And I keep y,elling at her:
"You can't be ugly! Be pretty!"
It's weird.
Like ifil can transform her, [ Sniffles ]
I would magically, change too.
You're pretty.
J oely, don't ever leave me.
Pretty. Pretty. Pretty. Pretty.
[Joel's Voice ] Mierzwiak, please let me keep this memory..
Just this one.
[ Clementine ] I don't wanna holdy,our hand. Come on.
Whoo! Whoa!
[ Clementi ne Whoops ] Stop it!
[ Clementine Laughing ]
I could die right now, Clem.
I'm just...
happy.
I've never felt that before.
Mmm.
I'm just exactly...
where I wanna be.
Clem?
I wanna call it off.
I'll giveyou a sign.
I wanna call it off!.
Can you hear me? I don't want this anymore!
I wanna call it off!.
[Stereo: Man ] @ Wheny,ou ain't got nothing to do @
@ I think I'll marry.y,ou@@
[ Screaming ] Is anybody there?
[ Loud Groaning ]
Clementine? Joel?
Clement-- Joely,?
Clem! Joel?
Clem!
What? We gotta go. We gotta go.
What? Where? I have an idea ofhow to stop this.
Stop what?
Joely. Come on, Clem.
Smell my armpit! Smell my armpit! No!
Don't tickle me! Don't make me smell you. Smell my pits!
No. Good.
Concentrate, Clem.
We gotta get back to the offiice.
There was a tape recorder. No, not the picture.
Not the picture.
Where is it? Back here. Come on!
[ Clementine ] Oh, look at me. Hey,, I look good there.
[ Mierzwiak ] Look, our fiiles are confiidential, Mr. Barish,
so I can't showy,ou evidence.
Suffiice it to say, that Miss, uh-- Miss Kruczy,nski...
was not happy, and she wanted to move on.
Good. Now, tell me about Clementine. [Joel] Just tell me everythingy,ou remember.
That's what he said. Then-- What did we see that day?
No, wait. Oh, look! Hey!
Shit! We're going to see my grandma.
Joel, why-- No, I don't want to-- Joel, please! We're not going on a train.
Don't make me run anymore. Come on!
Mierzwiak!
Do we always have to run? Mierzwiak!
[Dog Barking]
Please.
So, why don't we begin byyou telling me...
everythingy,ou can remember.
[Joel] Mierzwiak! Wake me up!
Oh, I-I'm sorry, Mr. Barish.
I thoughty,ou understood what was going on here.
I don't know. You're erasing her from me.
You're erasing me from her--
I don't know.
You've got this thing. I'm in my bed. I know it.
I'm in my brain.
I'm part ofiy,ourimagination too,Joel.
How can I help you from there?
Uh, I'm insidey,ourhead too. I'my,ou.
[ Grunts ] Sorry..
Look. Who's that?
Oh, he-he works for us.
That's, uh, Pa-a-a-a-atrick,
baby,boy,.
He's stealing my identity.
He stole my stuff.
He's, uh, seducing my girlfriend with mywords and my things.
He stole her underwear. Oh,Jesus Christ!
He stole her underwear.
[DoorCloses ] I could die right now, Clem.
I'm just happy.
I've never felt that before. I'm just exactlywhere I want to be.
I want to go home.
Hey. What?
Clem! [ Grunting ]
Wait. Clem!
Clem?
They,'re erasingy,ou. [Dog Barks ]
I'm here! [ Screams ]
Clem, focus. I hired them, okay? [Laughing]
I'm so stupid.
Sweetie, calm down. Enjoy the scenery.
I need it to stop before I wake up and I don't knowy,ou any,more.
Okay, well, you know, just tell them to cancel it then.
What the hell are you talking about? I can't just cancel it. I'm asleep.
Wake yourself up!
Okay. You want me to wake up? Okay. Great. All right.
Okay, here we go. This makeyou happy ifl try? Yeah.
I'll try really hard. Here we go. That was a great idea.
Yeah. Okay.
Boy,, that's working like gangbusters.
[Mary.Laughs ] Don't! That tickles me! [Stan ] Oh, my, goodness.
Oh, my, God. What is that? Jesus Christ! What the--
[ Mary.] It's a birthmark!
I t did work, for a second,
but I couldn't-- I couldn't move. See?
Oh, well, isn't that just another one ofJoel's self-fulfilling prophecies?
It's more important to prove me wrong than to actually--
Look, I don't want to discuss this right now, okay?
Fine.
Then what? I'm listening.
I don't know. You erased me.
That's why I'm here. That's why I'm doing this in the first place.
I'm sorry. You-- You!
You know me. I'm impulsive.
That's what I love aboutyou.
[Beeping] [Clementine ] Joel?
[Joel] Mm-hmm? I have anotheridea forthis problem.
This is a memory of me,
the wayyou wanted to have sex on the couch afteryou looked down at my crotch.
What? Joel, the eraser guys are coming here,
so what ifyou take me somewhere else,
somewhere where I don't belong,
and we hide there till morning?
[ Sighs ] Oh, man. I can't remember anything withoutyou.
[ Scoffs ] Tsk, that's very sweet, but try, okay?
Okay.
@ Row, row, rowy,ourboat gently,down the stream @
@ Merrily,, merrily, merrily,, merrily, @
@ Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream @
@ Row, row, rowy,our boat @ [ Both ] @ Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily @
@ Life is but a dream @ [ Boy,] @ Merrily,, merrily,, merrily,, merrily, @
@ Merrily, merrily merrily, merrily @
@ Life is but a dream Row, row, row your boat @
It's working! @ Row, row, row your boat @
@ Gently, down the stream @@ [ Clementine ] I'm a genius!
[ Giggling ]
Joel?
Where'dy,ou go?
I'm supposed to come too!
[ Woman ] Listen, I'mjust gonna go get a salad bowl. Can y,ou stir the soup and keep an ey,e onJoel?
[ Woman #2 ] Sure. Hejust likes to be near me.
Absolutely,! Clem?
It worked. My, God, look at this! Wow!
It worked! Look! Look at this dress, man!
Oh, my God! Look at it! I wish I could take it with me.
Who am I?
Mrs. Hamlyn. Right. Mrs. Hamlyn.
I must be about four. Oh, my gosh.
Found the salad bowl, so I'm serving salad and string beans.
Is he okay under there? Peanut, areyou all right?
God, honestly, I feel like I could clean up all day.
Listen, would you hate me ifl asked you to clean some string beans? No, not at all.
Oh, my God. I love this kitchen.
Thanky,ouso much. She's not looking at me.
She's busy. She's not looking at me. [ Laughing ]
No one ever looks at me. I want my mommy.
Oh, baby,Joel. Hey,,Joely,!Joely,!
Is every.Iittle peanut under there okay,? Mm-hmm! He's fine.
Do you have something to drink?
Wouldy,ou drink a cocktail at this hour? I mean, I know it's not 5:00.
I would die for a vodka. Oh, hang on. Let me check if I have that.
Okay! I'm just gonna wait right here. Joel! Hey, no, sweetie.
[ Grunting ] Uh,Joely,.
Yourmotherwants me to mindy,ou. Get back underthe table. Ice cream.
No, not until after,y,ou know, you've hady,our dinner.
[ Angry Grunt ] Come on,Joel!
Joel, grow up!
Don't leave me, Clem. Oh, my, God, Clem. [ Sobbing]
This is sort of warped. I'm scared.
[ Crying ] I want my mommy! Don't cry, baby Joel.
Baby Joel, it's okay. Joel.Joely.Joel!
Stop it! Look, I think it's working. Look, we're hidden,Joel. Look!
Hey, honey, look.
Wait there.
My crotch is still here, just as you remembered it.
Yuck.
[Buzzing]
It stopped.
What? It stopped erasing.
Oh, shit.
This is terrible.
He's offthe map. He's offthe map.
Where? I don't know where! What doyou mean? I don't know where!
This is bad. This is very, very bad news. Where are my glasses?
Okay. Crap.
Okay. What do we do? What do I do?
What shall we do? I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do.
- What shall we do? - Crap. Crap. I don't know!
- I just said that I don't know what to do. - I'm sorry. What do we do?
I don't know. Now, look,y,ou're fireaking me out. Mellow out.
Well, you have to do something. He could wake up all half-baked.
Quiet. You're freaking me out. Shh. Shh.
All gooey and-- and half-baked. Hmm, that sounds so good.
Oh, shit! I'm hungry.
Oh, shit. Oh! Oh!
What? Oh! What, what? What?
- We should call Howard. - No way. No, sir, man.
This is my-- I can handle this.
I can't call Howard. He's an unbaked cookie.
He's-- There's no time to fuck around.
I got this under control. What areyou talking about?
Stop fucking around! Okay, I'll call Howard.
[Phone Rings ]
[ Rings ]
Hello. Hello, Howard? Hey, it's Stan.
Um, I'm working on this guy down here, and we seem to have lost him for a moment,
and, uh, I can't-- I can't bring him back up.
Okay, uh, tell me what happened before he disappeared.
Well, I wasn't sure, really, 'cause I was away from the monitor for a minute...
and I had it on autopilot because I had to, uh--
I had to pee.
Where's Patrick? Patrick? Patrick had to go home sick.
Ah, geez.
Okay, what's the address? I know. I'm so sorry.
That's okay. Come on. [Stan ] I'm at 159 South Village.
Yeah. Apartment 1E. Rockville Center.
Mary? He's coming right now. Yeah?
I'm stay,ing. [Bottles Clinking]
- Get your stuff, Mary. - I 'm staying.
I thinkyou should go. Hell, no.
Mary-- Shit.
I am so stoned. Please, Mary..
You have to go. Stop being stoned, Mary.
I don't want him to see me stoned.
Mary.,y,ou have no idea howmuch trouble we're gonna get into ifiHoward comes-- I look like shit!
Joely,, stop it!Joel! Look! Hey,,Joel!
[ Blubbering ]
Joel! I want her to pick me up.
It's weird how strong that desire is. Joel, look at me! Look.
You'll remember me in the morning,
and you'll come to me, and you'll tell me about us, and we'll start over.
Pat? I just-- Pat?
I thought we could have a little cocktail.
That Patrick guy-- he's copying me.
What Patrick guy?
That guy! What?
He's here in my apartment.
He's one ofthose eraser guys.
He fell foryou when theywere doing you, and now he's introduced himself like he doesn't even knowyou,
and you guys are dating.
Really? Is he cute?
Clem, there's nothing wrong with you.
You're the most wonderful person I've ever met.
You-- You're kind,
[ Sobbing ] beautiful...
and smart and funny...
and... nice.
What?
Okay. All right.
Okay. Oh!
Move, move, move! Come on. Let's go. Careful, careful.
Fine.
Oh, my God. I'm still stoned. [ Groans ]
Those eyedrops you gave me didn't do shit.
[ Chuckles ] [Doorbell Ringing]
[ Clears Throat ]
Be cool. Cool.
Hello, Mary. What are you doing here? Oh, hi, Howard.
She was just here to help out.
I wanted to understand as much as I could about the procedure as possible.
I think it's important for myjob to understand the innerworkings...
ofithe work that we do.
Well, not that I do, but the work that is done...
by people... where I also work, the work of my colleagues.
All right, well, let's see ifwe can, uh,
get to the bottom ofthis, shall we?
Uh, yeah. Um--
Well, that's odd. I already tried that.
Did you try going through the C-gate? Yeah, oficourse.
I mean... yes.
Yeah.
[ Clears Throat ]
All right.
You want to get linked up? Yeah.
All right.
I already-- I ran the utility programs,
and I had nothing there,
so I checked all the memories against the printed logs.
Here, Howard. Okay.
I gotyou a chair. There you go. Oh, thankyou.
You're welcome. Whew!
All right, I'm gonna-- I'm gonna go through the entire memory,
see ifisomething comes up.
@ Oh, my darling Oh, my darling @
@ Oh, my darling Clementine @
@You were lost and gone forever @ I love being bathed in the sink.
@ Dreadful sorry, Clementine @@ Such a feeling ofsecurity.
I've never seen you happier, babyJoel. [ Giggling ] Hmm!
There it is.
I don't understand why it's offthe map like that.
What the heck was he doing there?
[ Grunts ]
[Gagging]
[ Coughing ]
His ey,es are open.
- Has this happened before with him? - [Stan ] No.
Oh, this is-- this is not good. No.
I'm gonna have to--
I'm gonna have to give him this.
[ Gasps, Panting ]
Can'tyou see I loveyou, Antoine?
[Mierzwiak] Okay,, we're back in.
[Mary.] Wow. That was beautiful to watch, Howard.
Like a surgeon or a concert pianist or something.
Thankyou, Mary.
Um, Howard, you should get some sleep. I-I think I'll be fine now.
Why,can'ty,ousee I lovey,ou, Antoine?
Hmm. Lucky me.
Lay one on me. [ Kissing Sounds ] [ Kissing Sounds ]
Don't call me Antoine.
My,name is Wally,. Yes, I know,
but how can a woman love a man with a name like Wally,?
Oh! Oh! What was that?
Hey,. My, God, there's people coming out ofiy,our butt.
There is? [ Giggling ]
- Got it. - T angeri ne!
[ Cryi ng ] What, J oel-- What are you doing? We gotta go.
Go on. Please, please, go. Please go!
You can run, but you can't hide.
Clem, come on!
There I am. [ Tires Screech ]
That truck.
Doc? Please.
[Distorted Voice ] All right, let's begin by,y,ou telling me...
everything you remember--
That's strange. He's in a memory that we've already erased.
Oh, well, at least we know where he is. He's back on track, right?
[ Sighs ] Come on, Clem.
[Stan's Voice ] He seems to have developedsome sort ofiresistance to the procedure.
I don't want to run any,more. Shit.
Come on, come on. Hide me somewhere deeper, somewhere really buried.
Where? Hide me in your humiliation.
Humiliation. [Boy,] Come on,y,ou bigbaby,!
[Joel's Voice ] I'm sorry., okay,?
[Angry. Voices Overlapping]
[Joel's Voice ] Let me drivey,ou home. [ Child Yells ]
No!
- [ Mary.] By,e, Howard. - No, wait. Howard.
He's disappeared again.
Oh, dear. [ Mary.] I'm so sorry., Howard.
Humiliation.
Hu-mi-lia-- Joel.
[ Sighs ] I don't like it either.
I'm just trying to find horrible secret places to--
Joel, honey, I have a surprise-- I just-- Oh, um--
Uh,y,ou know what, honey,? I'mjust gonna asky,ou in the morning.
[ Wheezing Laugh ] Good night, sweetheart.
[ Laughing Continues ] No.
I'm sorry,Joel.Joely. Shut up.
Look! Joel!
Joel, look! What?
Lookwhere we are!
Whoo!
Clem, this isn't good.
Then hide me somewhere-- somewhere really, buried.
[ Children Shouting]
Hit it! Hit it! [Joel ] I can't! I gotta go home.
I'll do it later!
[ Shouting Continues ]
Come on, you big sissy!
[ Shouting Stops ]
[ Sobbing ]
[ Children ] Ooh!
Ooh, he has a girlfiriend!
Wait. What am I doing? You know something, Freddy? And he loves her!
You don't scare me anymore. Ow! Ow!
[ Groaning] Joel!
Joely, get up. Come on, it's not worth it. Hit him! Hit him!
They're not worth it,Joel! Tra-la-la-la-la! He's not listening!
Come on,Joel. Stupid!
[Joel's Voice ] I'm so ashamed. [ Clementine's Voice ] It's okay,.
You were a little kid. Yeah?
Come on. That's where I live-- lived.
I wish I knewy,ou when I was a kid.
Do y,ou like my, pink hat? Here, look, feel better. You can really, kill me this time.
It's my, turn. Go. One, two, three. I can? You're really, gonna die though.
Okay,. One, two, three.
You're dead. [ Both Groaning ]
Oh, my, mom. It's-- It's okay,. We 're play,ing.
Hi,Joel's mom. He 's killing me. It's not real.
Okay,, are y,ou deady,et?
You're dead! [ Grunts ]
U h, I thi nk I got the hang of this.
I sti I l don't understand it, but I 'm finding him quickly enough.
Clem! [ Gasps ]
Clem! [ Grunting ]
[ Muffled Grunting ]
[ Groans ]
[ Growling ]
Jo--Joely?
Areyou okay,Joel?
Joel? Joel? [ Laughing ]
Oh, my God. That was terrible.
Okay, okay. That was like three seconds.
Allright. Let me do it one more time. One more, then I get to go.
Okay.
Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo! [ Clementine Giggling ]
Look at this. This is so cool!
Cool. Look out! Look out!
Ah!
Shit! It's fluff.
Our house!
Come on. Whoo-hoo! Come on.
We gotta go!
Whoo!
Come on!
We gotta go. Clem?
We gotta go.
Aah! Come on!
No! This is a really bad time for this!
Get off me! Oh, God!
I don't even know where we're going. It's gonna be fun. Come on.
It's the best place. No, this way. No, this way.
No, no, no. This way. You're no help at all. [ Shouts ]
What's wrong with you? [ Laughing ]
Let go of me,Joel!
[ Grunts ]
I like watching you work, Howard.
[ Chuckles ]
[ Grunts ] I guess, uh--
I guess I'll go out for-- for some air,
if nobody minds.
It looks likeyou have everything under control here.
Yeah, that's, uh--
that's fiine.
[DoorCloses ] Doy,ou like quotes, Howard?
What do you mean?
Oh,y,ou know, like fiamous quotes?
I find reading them inspirational,
and in my reading, I've come across some I thought you might like too.
Oh, well, I-- I'd love to hear some.
There's one that goes,
"Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even oftheir blunders."
That's Nietzsche, right? Yeah.
And here I thought I could tell you something you didn't know. Oh, no.
It's-- It's a good quote. I'm happywe both know it.
Yeah. Oh, and there's this other one I like.
It's by Pope Alexander, and it goes--
AlexanderPope? Oh, yeah.
Yeah, shit.
It'sjust that I told my,selfi not to say, "Pope Alexander" andsound like a dope,
and then I go ahead and say it.
It's no big deal. You're such a sweetheart.
The quote goes, "How happy, is the blameless vestal's lot?
"The world forgetting, by, the world forgot.
"Eternal sunshine ofithe spotless mind.
Each pray,er accepted and each wish resigned. "
I want to be a great big, huge elephant...
with a huge trunk like that.
Clem? Clementi ne?
I haven't heard that one. I t's lovely.
I just thought it would be appropriate, maybe.
I really admire the workyou do, Howard.
I don't mean to be so familiar. Oh, it's fine. It's fine.
I-I-I-I-I-- I'm happy to hear--
[ Sighs ] I'm sorry.
[ Sighing ]
I've loved you for a very long time.
I shouldn't have said that. Oh, Mary., no.
It's-- You're a wonderful girl.
But I-- You know, I have a wife and kids.
You know I have a wife and kids.
Oh, Mary..
Oh, Mary, we can't do this.
Oh, whoa.
Well, good morning, Mrs. Mierzwiak.
[ Honking ]
[Mary.] What? Oh, my, God!
Who is it?
[ Sighs ]
Uh--
Thankyou, Stan. Thanks a lot.
Hollis. Hollis! [Engine Starts ]
Hollis!
Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Hollis.
- I knew it, Howard. - Hollis, it didn't start out to be like this.
I came here to work. Hollis, this is a one-time mistake!
I'm astupidgirl with astupidcrush! Yeah.
I swear I basically forced him into it!
Don't be a monster, Howard. Tell the girl.
Tell me what?
Oh, you poor kid.
You can have him.
You did.
What?
Oh, uh,
we have a history.
I'm sorry. Y-You wanted the procedure.
You--
You wanted it done...
so you could get past, uh--
You could-- Yeah.
Um, I have to, uh, finish the work in there.
It's almost morning.
We'll talk later.
Okay?
[Stan ] Hey,.
Let me giveyou a lift home.
Fuck this thing. Damn it.
Hi. Hi.
Didn't figureyou'd showyourface around me again.
I guess I thought you were... humiliated.
You did run away, after all.
Ijust neededtoseey,a.
Yeah?
I'd like to, um,
takeyou out or something.
You're married.
Notyet. Not married.
No, I'm not married, no.
Look, man, I'm telling you right offthe bat I'm high maintenance,
so I'm not gonna tiptoe around your marriage...
orwhatever it is you've got going there.
Ifyou wanna be with me, you're with me.
Okay.
Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them,
or I'm gonna make them alive.
But I'm just a fucked-up girl who's looking for my own peace of mind.
Don't assign meyours. I remember that speech reallywell.
I had you pegged, didn't I? You had the whole human race pegged.
Hmm. Probably.
I still thoughtyou were gonna save my life,
even after that.
Mmm. I know.
It would be different...
ifwe could just give it another go around.
Remember me.
Tryyour best.
Maybe we can.
[ Mierzwiak] Okay, so just tell me whatyou remember,
and, uh, then we'll take it from there.
[ Mary] Okay.
I liked you immediately.
You didn't come on to me at all.
I liked that.
I was so tongue-tied aroundy,ou at fiirst.
I wantedy,ou to think I was smart.
I couldn't wait to come to work.
I had these fantasies of us being married...
and having kids and... just--
Oh, Howie, I can't do this.
[Mierzwiak ] We agreed it's forthe best, Mary..
[Mary. Cry.ing] Yeah, I know.
Oh, God.
I 'll take the bottom and you-- Uh-uh-uh! No, no, no. Here.
I can take that. So you want me to carry that?
Help me with that. Can you get the cooler? Honey, the cooler is--
That's light, huh? Oh, I can get that. You can get it.
No, no, no, no!
Don't take anything. I can take the plane.
Put the thing up. Put the gate back up.
[Joel] This is the day,we met.
You were down by,the surf.. I couldjust makey,ou out in the distance.
I remember being drawn to y,ou even then.
I thought, "Wow, how odd. I'm drawn to someone's back. "
You were in that orange sweatshirt that I would come to know so well...
and even hate, eventually,.
At the ti me I thought, " How cool! An orange sweatshirt."
Hi there.
Hi.
I saw you sitting over here...
byyourself,
and I thought, "Thank God.
Someone normal who doesn't know how to interact at these things either."
Yeah.
I don't ever know what to say.
I'm Clementine.
Can I borrow a piece ofyour chicken?
And then you just took it...
without waiting for an answer.
It was so intimate,
Iike we were already lovers.
I'm Joel.
Hi,Joel.
So, no jokes about my name.
You mean like-- @ Oh, my darling, oh, my darling Oh, my darling Clementine @
Huckleberry Hound, that sort ofthing?
Yeah. Like that.
Oh, nojokes. Nojokes.
One ofmyfavorite things when I was a kid was my Huckleberry Hound doll.
Oh.
I thinkyour name is magical.
This is it,Joel.
It's gonna be gone soon.
I know.
What dowe do?
Enjoy it.
[ Clementine] You married? No.
Let's move into this neighborhood!
I do sort oflive with someone though.
Male or female? What?
Female. Female.
At least I'm not barking up the wrong tree.
You know these people? No, of course not. Come on.
They might have a dog.
[ Giggling ] There's no dog.
What areyou doing?
It's freezing out. I can't believe this.
Hoo-hoo!
- Clementine! - There we go. Whoo-hoo!
Come on, man. The water's fine.
Nobody's coming here tonight. Believe me.
It's dark.
So, uh, what's your girlfriend's name?
Naomi, but we're not really-- I mean--
We're-- [ Laughing ] Whatever.
So this is great. Now I can look for, um, candles, matches...
and the liquor cabinet.
Oh, God.
[ Tapping Phone Receiver Button ]
I thi nk we should go.
There's no phone I i ne. What?
I think we should go. Why,?
It's our house... just for tonight. [ Sighs ]
We are "David and Ruth Laskin."
Which one doyou want to be? Uh--
I prefer to be Ruth, but I can be flexible.
What areyou do-- [ Chuckling ]
Alcohol! Oh, boy.
So, areyou okaywith wine?
I don't know. Well, you choose the wine.
I'm gonna go find the bedroom and slip into something more... Ruth.
I'm Ruth-less at the moment. I really,shouldgo.
[Wind Howling] I've gotta catch my ride.
So go.
I did.
[Joel's Voice ] I thought may,bey,ou were a nut,
buty,ou were exciting.
[ Clementine ] I wish y,ou'd stay,ed.
I wish I 'd stayed too. Now I wish I 'd stayed.
I wish I 'd done a lot of things.
Oh, God, I wish I had--
I wish I'd stayed. I do.
Well, I came back downstairs, andy,ou were gone. I walked out. I walked out the door.
Why,? I don't know. I felt like a scared little kid.
I was like-- It was above my head. I don't know.
You were scared?
Yeah.
Thought you knew that about me.
[Joel's Voice ] I ran back to the bonfiire, try.ing to outrun my, humiliation, I think.
[ Clementine ] Was it something I said? Yeah.
You said, "So go"...
with such disdain, you know?
Oh, I'm sorry.. It's okay.
Joely,?
What ifyou stayed this time?
I walked out the door.
There's no memory left.
Come back and make up a good-bye, at least.
Let's pretend we had one.
Bye,Joel.
[Joel ] I loveyou.
[ Whispering ] Meet me in Montauk.
[Rob ] I didn't crash the plane. The plane crashed. I didn't crash the plane.
[ Carrie ] You were operating the plane with the remote control, and then it crashed.
[ Rob ] It was fucking windy,. Come on, man.
[ Carrie ] You're stoned, andy,ou're driving.
[ Rob ] Yeah, the pot balances it out. The pot brings y,ou back up.
That's why, I smoke it. IfiI'm going to be drinking, then I'll smoke it.
It does. That's a medical fiact.
It was proven on the Science Network.
[ Carrie ] Honey,,just watch the road. [ Rob ] I can 't see shit.
I saw you tal ki ng to somebody pretty.
She was nice. Yeah, man. Who was that?
She was, um, just a girl.
[ Beep ]
Okay.
[ Groans ]
[ Line Ringing ]
[Ringing Continues ]
So I gotta-- I gotta drop the van off.
Thanks, Stan. Thanks.
We'll talk. [Horn Honks ]
[ Van Door Closes, Engine Starts ]
[ Groaning ]
[ Sighs ]
Hey!
Hey.
You got a lot ofyour stuff there, I see. Yeah, that's right. My stuff.
I take ity,ou're not coming back. I wouldn't come back ifil wasy,ou either.
Do you swearyou didn't know? I-I swear.
So you didn't do the erasing? Of course not. God, no.
And you never even suspected we were together?
[ Sighs, Clears Throat ] Once, maybe.
I was coming back from a job, and you were at his car.
I saw you two talking.
So I waved to you, and you giggled, you know.
How'd I look?
You looked happy.
Happywith a secret.
And after that?
I never saw you two together again like that, so I just--
I don't know. I just figured I was imagining things.
[Man On P.A., Indistinct]
Aah! [Man On P.A. ] Montauk train now boarding on track "B. "All aboard.
I really like you, Mary Svevo.
You know that?
Thanks.
Let me get my toothbrush.
Yeah.J ust--
[ Beeps ]
[Patrick On Tape ] Where arey,ou, Clem? I'm worried.
La-la-la-la-la. I feel likey,ou're madat me, and I don't know what I did.
What did I do?
I love y,ou so much.
I'll do anything to make y,ou happy,.
Tell me whaty,ou want me to do, and I'll do it.
Listen, I'm gonna stop by, this morning just to make sure y,ou're okay,.
Oh. Whew.
Vamonos, senor. [ Chuckles ]
I -I had a real ly nice time last night.
Nice?
I had the best fucking night of my entire fucking life...
Iast night.
That's better.
This is weird. [Mary.'s Voice ] To allpatients ofiDr. Howard Mierzwiak.
My,name is Mary.Svevo. "We've met, but you don't remember me.
[ Mary's Voice Overlapping ] I worked for a companyyou hired to have part ofyour memory erased."
I have since decided that this is a horrible-- Some kind of teaser ad or something.
[Mary.] In orderto correct this, I'm sending every.one's fiile back to them.
[ On Tape ] My, name is Clementine Kruczy,nski.
I'm here to erase Joel Barish.
What is this? I don't know.
He's boring. Is that enough reason to erase someone?
I've been thinking lately, how I was before and how I am now,
and it's like he changed me.
I feel like I'm alway,s pissy, now. I don't like my,selfiwhen I'm with him. I don't like my,selfiany,more.
I can't stand to even look at him. That pathetic, wimpy,, apologetic smile.
- That sort ofiwounded puppy, shit he does, y,ou know? - What are you doi ng?
I 'm not doi ng anythi ng. The bloom is certainly, fucking offithe rose at this point.
- Are you screwing with me? - No!
- You are screwing with me. -Joel, I'm not!
- You clearly are. - Look, let's just take a minute and--
[ExasperatedSigh ]
[DoorCloses ]
[ Panting ]
Patrick, get the fuck away.
Oh, sweetheart-- Get the fuck away from me!
Can we talk about it? No! Get the fuck away!
[ Sobbing ]
[Sets Brake ]
Joel Barish.
Hey,, Clementine. Hey.
Nice to see you. Yeah.
Yeah.
[Joel On Tape ] Really, very. educated.
I mean, she's smart, I think, but not educated.
I couldn't really, talk to her about books, y,ou know?
She's more of a magazi ne-readi ng girl.
Her vocabulary. Ieaves something to be desired.
Sometimes-- I was embarrassed in public...
Hi. because she would pronounce...
Iibrary. "libary.. " Hi.
Libary.. Libary..
Look what I found.
[ On Tape ] I think ifithere's a truly, seductive quality, about Clementine,
it's that her personality,promises to take y,ou out ofithe mundane.
You made me look skinny,.
Amazing, burning meteorite...
will carry.y,ou to another world where things are exciting.
But what y,ou quickly, learn is that...
it's really, an elaborate ruse.
I ' m sorry I yel led at you.
I t's okay. So flashy, in a kind ofiobvious way,.
But still, it seduces y,ou. J oel, I real ly I i ke you.
I hate that I said mean things about you.
- Let me turn this off, okay? - Hey,, it's-- it's only,fiair.
Where's the real Clementine?
I mean, the whole thing with the hair-- it's all bullshit.
- I real ly I i ke your hai r. - Thank you.
I really, like y,our hair. Thank you.
I do. The world's a goddamn mess.
Is it some kind ofia revolt? Change y,our hair color. You want a drink or something?
Do you have any whiskey?
No, I don't think hersex is... motivated.
I saw it clearly, the last night we were together.
It wasn't sex. It wasjust sad.
Hey. Sorry. I thought there was more.
The only, way, Clem thinks she can get people to like her...
is to fuck 'em...
or at least dangle the possibility, ofigetting fucked in firont ofi'em.
And she's so desperate and insecure...
that she'll, sooner or later, go around fucking every.body,.
I don't do that. I wouldn't think that abouty,ou.
- Because I don't. - I know.
Because it really, hurts me thaty,ou said that because I don't do that.
I'm so sorry.. I 'm sorry about all this. I 'm gonna... go.
I 'm a little confused. I don't really think I can be here.
Um... bye.
Bye. [ On Tape ] I thought I knew herso well.
It was nice meeting you and all. But I don't knowherat all.
What a loss to spend that much time with someone,
only, to fiind out that she's a stranger.
Wait.
What? I don't know.
J ust wait. J ust wait. What do y,ou want,Joel?
I don't know. I want you to wait for... just a while.
[ Quiet Sob ]
Okay,. Really?
I'm not a concept,Joel. I'mjust a fucked-up girl who's looking for my, own peace ofimind.
- I 'm not perfect. - I can't see anything that I don't like about you.
Right now I can't. But you will. But you will.
You know, you will think ofthings, and I'll get bored with you and feel trapped...
because that's what happens with me.
Okay.
Okay,.
[ Crying ]
Okay. Okay,.
[ Laughing ]
@ Changey,ourheart@
@ Look aroundy,ou@
@ Changey,ourheart@
@ It will astoundy,ou@
@ Now, I needy,ourlovin'@
@ Like the sunshine @
@ And every.body,'s gotta learn sometime @
@ Every.body,'s gotta learn sometime @
@ Mm-mm-mm @
@ Change y,our heart @
@ And look aroundy,ou @
@ Change y,our heart @
@ It will astoundy,ou @
@ I needy,our lovin'@
@ Like the sunshine @
@ And every.body,'s gotta learn sometime @
@ Every.body,'s gotta learn sometime @
@ Mm-mm-mm @
@ Every.body,'s gotta learn sometime @
@ Mm-mm-mm @@