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不久之前...
在加拿大多倫多...
一處神秘之地...
Scott Pilgrim泡學生妹呢
Scott Pilgrim泡學生妹? Scott Pilgrim is dating a high-schooler?
真的假的? 夠辣嗎? Really? Is she hot?
Scott 你多大了? 28? How old are you now, Scott? Like, 28?
我才不上你當呢 I'm not playing your little games, kids.
算起來你高中畢業快13年了 So, you've been out of high school for, like, 13 years.
我才22歲 I'm 22. Twenty-two.
Scott Pilgrim 22歲 評分: 贊
你在泡學生妹 不賴 And you're dating a high-school girl. Not bad, not bad.
多謝 Thank you, thank you.
那你們倆... 你知道的... 該干的都干了嗎? So, did you guys, like, you know, do it yet?
我們做過很多事 We have done many things.
一起搭公車 We ride the bus together.
談過年鑒俱樂部的破事兒 And we have meaningful conversations about how yearbook club went
聊過她的朋友 還有戲劇 and about her friends and, you know, drama.
你吻她沒? Have you even kissed her?
我們牽過一次手 可她害臊 We almost held hands once, but then she got embarrassed.
小樣 得意得很嘛 Well, aren't you pleased as punch.
我不懂你的意思 I don't know what you're talking about.
那她叫什麼? So, what's her name?
Knives Chau Knives Chau.
華裔 She's Chinese.
贊吶 Wicked.
那我們啥時能見到她? So, when do we get to meet her?
我已經等不及了 Oh, please, let it be soon.
找我的 That's for me.
Knives Chau 17歲
- 嗨 - 你能保證乖乖的嗎? Hi. You promise to be good?
當然了 Of course I'll be good.
說真的 要乖乖的 Seriously, please be good.
我平常很壞嗎? Am I normally not?
嘿 Knives 這是Stephen Stills 他很有才的 Hey, Knives, this is Stephen Stills. He's the talent.
Stephen Stills 油菜花 22歲
嘿 Hey.
她會到處張揚嗎? Is she gonna geek out on us?
她只會乖乖地坐在角落 She'll just sit in the corner, man.
我是說希望她宣揚我們 I mean, I want her to geek out on us.
她會的 她大嘴巴 她很喜歡四處張揚 She'll geek. She geeks. She has the capacity to geek.
好了 Okay.
你可以進來了 You're good.
哇哦 Wow.
來 我幫你脫外套 Here, let me get your coat.
嗨 Hi.
Knives 那是Kim Knives, that's Kim.
抱歉 你叫什麼? Sorry, what was your name?
Kim Kim.
你是鼓手? And you play the drums?
是的 Yes.
Kim Pine 鼓手 23歲
太牛逼了 That is so awesome.
Knives 他是小Neil Knives, that's Young Neil.
嗨 Hi.
小Neil 住戶 20歲
嗨 Hi.
你玩什麼的? What do you play?
塞爾達傳說 俄羅斯方塊 Wow, Zelda, Tetris.
這說來就話長了 That's kind of a big question.
好 先來首"發射台之聲" Okay, let's start with Launchpad McQuack.
那不是我們的樂隊名... That's not the actual title of the...
我們是"性愛波彈"! We are Sex Bob-Omb!
1 2 3 4! One, two, three, four!
* Yeah, yeah * Yeah, yeah
* Laminate the stasis * Laminate the stasis
* Mama, mama serpentine * Mama, mama serpentine
* I got a breathalyzer * I got a breathalyzer
* And my body's clean * And my body's clean
片名: 歪小子斯科特
* Yeah! Yeah! * Yeah! Yeah!
* Thank you! * Thank you!
* Get ready * Get ready
* Yeah * Yeah
* Yeah, yeah * Yeah, yeah
* Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah * Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
* Yeah! * Yeah!
你們真是... You guys are so
太屌了 amazing.
- 她不錯嘛 - 是啊 She seems nice. Yeah.
是的 她很靈啊 Yeah, she seems awesome.
沒錯 Yeah.
Scott 我真想給你丫來一拳 Scott, if your life had a face, I would punch it.
是啊 等等 什麼? Yeah. Wait, what?
你是真的幸福還是真的很壞? I mean, are you really happy or are you really evil?
你是說我別有用心? Like, do I have ulterior motives or something?
真傷人啊 Kim I'm offended, Kim.
受傷了? Wounded, even?
傷心了 Kim Hurt, Kim.
你還會傷心? You? Hurt?
Neil 你剛才說"她很靈啊" Neil, you were saying about "she seems awesome.''
是的 她很不錯 Yeah, she seems awesome.
是啊 Yeah.
之後
Wallace Wells 室友 25歲 等級: 7.5/10
我就跟你直說了吧 免得你聽信讒言 Before you hear some dirty lies from someone else,
我在和一個17歲的人交往 yes, I'm dating a 17-year-old.
哦 他可愛嗎? Oh, is he cute?
這麼說我們不能一起睡了? Does this mean we have to stop sleeping together?
你覺得這兒還有別的床嗎? You see another bed in here?
哈哈 你永遠是我的小賤人了 Yeah. You're totally my bitch forever.
這事兒你別到處說哦 So, the whole 17-year-old thing, don't tell too many people.
我你還不瞭解嗎 Hey, you know me.
尤其不要讓我姐知道 I mean, don't tell my sister.
你懂我的 You know me.
你在給誰發短信呢? Who are you texting?
17歲? 簡直是醜聞啊! Seventeen years old? Scandal!
假的 你聽誰瞎說呢? That's not true. Who told you?
Wallace 還有誰 Wallace. Duh.
死八婆 That gossipy bitch.
你懂的 You know me.
Wallace! Wallace!
那個神秘的孩子是誰? Who is this mystery child you date?
她叫Knives Chau 華裔 Her name's Knives Chau. She's Chinese.
17歲華裔學生妹? 你搞笑啊 A 17-year-old Chinese schoolgirl? You're ridiculous.
是個教會學校 It's a Catholic school, too.
還穿制服什麼的咯? With the uniform and everything?
是啊 一整套 Yeah. The whole deal.
上帝啊 你們還沒... Oh, my God. You guys haven't...
沒沒沒 我們連手都沒牽呢 No, no, no, no. We haven't even held hands yet.
不過她好像抱過我一次 I think she hugged me once.
Scott 你幹嘛要這樣? Scott, why are you doing this?
不知道 只是感覺很好 你知道的 多單純吶 I don't know. It's just nice, you know? It's just simple.
名字可以不提 話不能不說 你被甩掉已經一年多啦 It's been over a year since you got dumped by She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named. So...
你是真的走出來了 Are you legitimately moving on
還是你已經傻了? or is this just you being insane?
我們以後再聊好嗎? Can I get back to you on that?
我一點都不想來這裏 I do not wanna be here at all.
這學校也有男孩哦 This school has boys, too.
我恨你 就算禽獸如我 和正太約會之前也會考慮再三 I hate you. Even I would think twice about dating a 17-year-old.
她只能在白天出來 Well, she's only allowed out
所以也算不上約會啦 when the sun is up, so I wouldn't call it dating.
- 更像是... - 玩耍? It's more like... Playtime?
- 那聽起來也不太好 - 是的 That doesn't sound so good, either. No.
Scott! Scott!
嘿 Knives Hey, Knives.
這是我室友同志Wallace Wells 酷吧 This is my cool, gay roommate, Wallace Wells.
- 你好 - 同志噢 Hi. He's gay.
哦 你想認識我們班上的同志嗎? Oh, do you wanna know who in my class is gay?
好啊 他戴眼鏡嗎? Yes, does he wear glasses?
Wallace 你給我趕緊閃人吧 Wallace, you go now. Begone.
他配不上如此善良的你 快脫身吧 You're too good for him. Run.
準備! Get ready!
開始! Here we go!
你知道Pac-Man(吃豆人)的原名 是Puck-Man嗎? Did you know that the original name for Pac-Man was Puck-Man?
你可能以為那是因為它像冰球 You'd think it was because he looks like a hockey puck,
但實際上那名字來自日文"paku-paku" but it actually comes from the Japanese phrase "paku-paku,"
意思是"大嘴一張一合啪啪響" which means, "to flap one's mouth open and closed.''
之後改名是因為 They changed it because they thought that
"Puck-Man"很容易被篡改 "Puck-Man" would be too easy to vandalize.
你知道的 有人會劃掉"P" You know, people could just scratch off
然後改成"F"之類的 the "P" and turn it into an "F" or whatever.
哦 天啊! 哇哦! Oh, my God! Like, wow!
連擊! Combo!
是的 哇哦 Yeah. Wow.
繼續? Continue?
9 8 7 6 5 4... Nine, eight, seven, six, five, four,
- 3... - 哦 知道了 three... Oh, I got it.
...2 1 ...two, one.
我不怎麼聽音樂 I don't listen to that much music.
我認識很多人彈鋼琴什麼的 但你們... I mean, I know a lot of kids who play piano or whatever, but you guys...
你們玩搖滾吶 You guys rock.
個人層面是這樣 Well, I knew I personally rocked,
不過整個樂隊還沒得到過褒獎 but I never suspected that we rocked as a unit.
所以 謝謝你 Knives So, thank you, Knives.
你們一定會大紅大紫的 I mean, you guys are gonna be huge.
我們已經挺有名氣了 Well, we're already pretty big,
不過要是有潮人穿我們的T恤什麼的 but, yeah, I guess it'd be cool
那感覺也挺酷的 if cool people started wearing our T-shirt or whatever.
- 酷啊 - 沒錯 Cool. Yeah, yeah.
請問你這裏有"撞鬼頭"的專輯嗎? Excuse me, do you have anything by The Clash at Demonhead?
你怎麼不去"撞鬼頭"專區找找? Have you tried the section marked "The Clash at Demonhead"?
多謝了 Julie Thank you, Julie.
你週五來我的派對嗎 Are you coming to my party Friday,
Julie Powers 不爽 22歲
還是你要照看小孩? or will you be busy babysitting?
多謝了 Julie Thank you, Julie.
你別聽她亂說 You don't want to listen to her.
你也絕不想聽他們的歌 And you definitely don't want to listen to them.
我超愛他們的 Oh, I heart them so much.
我以前也是 直到他們簽了大公司 Yeah, I hearted them, too, until they signed to a major label,
然後主唱成了個十足的賤人 永遠毀了我的生活 and the lead singer turned into a total bitch and ruined my life forever.
但那只是我的看法 But that's just me.
Envy Adams很酷 你上過她的博客嗎? Envy Adams is so cool. Do you read her blog?
抱歉 你在跟我說話嗎? Sorry, you were saying about me?
我從沒和這麼有才華的人交往過 I mean, I've never gone out with anyone so talented.
你和很多人交往過嗎? Go out with a lot of guys?
沒有 No.
是啊 那麼 管他呢 Yeah, so, whatever, man.
我還沒吻過別人呢 I've never even kissed a guy.
嘿 Hey,
我也是 me, neither.
到了 Here you go.
這就是你的秘密基地? So, this is your secret lair?
- 是的 - 我能進去嗎? Yeah, yeah. Can I come in?
我的秘密基地 My secret lair is one of those
可是"禁止女生入內"的地方 "No girls allowed"- type deals.
好吧 Okay.
你想看看我小時候住的地方嗎? But do you wanna see the house where I grew up?
- 當然了! - 來吧 Sure! Come on.
就是這兒 There you go.
哇哦 Wow.
是啊 Yeah.
哇哦 Wow.
哦 天吶 Oh, God.
好孤獨啊 So alone.
你不孤獨 You're not alone.
什麼? What?
你只是在做白日夢 You're just having some idiotic dream.
那麼我們能親熱嗎? Does that mean we can make out?
哦 天哪! Oh, God!
怎麼了 Scott? What is it, Scott?
我做了個怪夢 I had this totally weird dream.
天吶 Oh, God.
怎麼了 另一個Scott? What is it, Other Scott?
另一個Scott Wallace的男友 22歲
能不做夢嗎? 我可沒興趣聽你唧歪 Can we skip the dreamtime? Color me not interested.
我夢到了個女孩 But there was this girl.
女孩? Girl?
是跟Envy有關的夢? Was this an Envy-related dream?
這屋裏不能提這名字 We don't use the E-word in this house.
不是她 是一個陌生的女孩 No, it wasn't her. It was somebody new.
那就好 Yay for that.
說到這茬上 Speaking of new,
你半小時前不是就該 weren't you supposed to take your fake high-school girlfriend
陪你的假高中女友去圖書館了嗎? to the library a half-hour ago?
什麼? 現在才早上6點吧 What? It's like 6:00 in the morning.
噓! Shh!
真怪啊 It's weird.
什麼怪了? What's weird?
圖書館讓我想起了高中生活 Libraries remind me of grade school.
那肯定是很久以前了吧 That must seem like a really long time ago.
是啊 我們換個話題吧 Yeah, let's talk about something else.
你認識那女孩? Do you know that girl?
- Scott! - 什麼? Scott! What?
整首歌你只彈了一個音 You only played one note for that entire song.
我的手滑了 My hand slipped.
是不是女友讓你分心了? Is your girlfriend distracting you?
女友? My girlfriend?
我會安靜點的 I'll be quieter.
我們重新再來 Let's do that one again.
抱歉 我們去幹嘛? Sorry, what are we doing?
我跟你說過50遍了! I told you, like, 50 times!
我們要去參加派對 白癡 We're going to this party, retard.
- 聚會? - 在Julie家 Party? At Julie's.
你們不是分手了嗎? I thought you guys split up.
是的 但那裏也許有唱片公司的人在 We did, but there might be some label guys there, so, you know...
- 別啊 肯定無聊到爆 - 沒勁! Oh, man, this is gonna suck. Suck!
至少我們有東西可以抱怨了 At least it'll give us something to complain about.
哦 夥計! Oh, man!
好沒勁! This sucks!
沒勁! Sucks!
無聊得讓我好想尿尿 I'm gonna go pee due to boredom.
我要尿尿 I have to pee.
知道嗎 我跟他說你有一副好嗓子 You know, so I told him you've got a really good sound,
我覺得該好好把你的聲音 and I think that you should market your sound
推銷給聾子 因為... Scott! 嘿! to deaf people, because... Scott! Hey!
嘿 Comeau Hey, Comeau.
派對怎麼樣? 你喝到酒了嗎? How about this party? You getting your drink on here?
不 我不喝酒 這是零度可樂 No, I don't drink. This is just Coke Zero.
什麼叫你不喝酒? What do you mean, you don't drink?
我清楚記得你喝醉好幾次了... I distinctly remember you being very drunk off a couple of G-and-T's...
嘿 Comeau 這裏的人你都認識 對不? Hey, Comeau, you know everyone, right?
Comeau 交際廣 25歲
是的 差不多 Yeah, pretty much, I do.
你認識這個髮型的女孩嗎? You know this one girl with hair like this?
是的 她叫Ramona Flowers Yes, that's Ramona Flowers.
有人說她今晚會來這 Somebody said she was gonna be here tonight, actually.
- 什麼? - 哦 Scott What? Oh, Scott.
你對她有意思嗎? 我得先提醒你 You have the hots for her or something? I gotta tell you though,
聽說她很難搞 I hear that she's a little hardcore.
這個女孩...
嘿 你好嗎? Hey, what's up?
還好 Nothing.
嘿 你知道Pac-Man(吃豆人)嗎? Hey, you know Pac-Man?
我知道 I know of him.
那個 Pac-Man原來是叫Puck-Man的 Well, Pac-Man was originally called Puck-Man.
改名是因為... They changed it because...
不是因為Pac-Man看著像冰球 Not because Pac-Man looks like a hockey puck.
"Paku-paku"的意思是"拍嘴巴" "Paku-paku" means "flap your mouth,"
有人擔心某些人會... and that they were afraid people would change...
劃掉"P"改成"F" 就像... Scratch out the "P" and turn it into an "F," like...
是 神奇啊 Yeah, that's amazing.
呃... Um...
我在做夢嗎? Am I dreaming?
我會永遠在你面前消失 I'll leave you alone forever now.
謝謝 Thanks.
之後
他跟蹤她
直到她
離開
派對
- 夥計! - 什麼? Dude! What?
- 是真有其人呢! - 誰? She's totally real! Who?
- Ramona Flowers - 什麼? Ramona Flowers. What?
夥計! 關於Ramona Flowers 你知道些什麼? Dude! What do you know about Ramona Flowers?
我只知道她是美國人 All I know is that she is American.
美國人 American.
你為什麼不去找Sandra和Monique? Why don't you go talk to Sandra and Monique?
她們知道的更多 They know a lot more.
女士們 你們認識Ramona Flowers嗎? Lady-dudes. What do you know about Ramona Flowers?
我聽說她有男朋友了 I heard she has a boyfriend.
是的 在紐約 Yeah. Some guy back in New York.
好的 好的 其他呢? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What else?
我聽說她臭屁得要死 I heard she kicks all kinds of ass.
跟常人完全不是一個等級的 She's on another level.
她讓男人拜倒在石榴裙下 She has men dying at her feet.
她有傷疤 夥計 She's got some battle scars, dude.
你問Ramona Flowers? What about Ramona Flowers?
- 你認識她? - 快說 You know her? Tell me now.
她剛搬來這裏 She just moved here.
在亞馬遜工作 來過我唱片行 Got a job at Amazon. Comes into my work.
是真的嗎? Does she really?
你是說她剛和人分手嗎? Didn't you say she just broke up with someone?
是真的嗎? Did she really?
他們大吵了一架什麼的 They had a huge fight, or whatever.
真的嗎? Did they really?
沒錯! 但我不想讓 Scott知道這事 Stephen Yes! But I didn't want Scott to know that, Stephen.
我對那女孩一無所知 Yeah, I don't know what it is about that girl.
Scott 我不准你去搭訕Ramona Scott, I forbid you from hitting on Ramona,
即使你已經一年多沒有女友了 even if you haven't had a real girlfriend in over a year.
Scott的失戀康復期早就結束了 Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Scott's mourning period is officially over.
他釣到個學生妹了 He's totally dating a high-schooler.
跟學生妹約會就是失戀康復 Dating a high-schooler is the mourning period.
她說得對 She's got a point.
我還以為你們分手了 I thought you guys broke up.
我不准你嚇跑我派對上最酷的女孩 Scott I don't want you scaring off the coolest girl at my party, Scott.
你個混球 人人都知道 你是隱形女性殺手 We all know you're a total lady-killer wannabe, jerky-jerk.
這麼說可不對 That's completely untrue.
- Lisa那次? - 那是場誤會 That time with Lisa? That was a misunderstanding.
- Hollie那次? - 不是大家想的那樣 That time with Hollie? That wasn't what it looked like.
那你甩掉Kim 因為... That time you dumped Kim for...
夠了 我和Kim現在都和好了 沒錯吧? Okay. Me and Kim are all good now, all right?
不管怎樣! Ramona都不是你的 別去招惹她 Whatever! Ramona's out of your league. Let's just leave it at that.
況且我也不確定 她是不是真的分手了 Besides, I'm not even sure she did have a big breakup.
她一直提到個叫Gideon的傢伙 She keeps mentioning some guy named Gideon.
我對那女孩一無所知 Yeah, I don't know what it is about that girl.
想都別想 Scott! Forget it, Scott!
猜猜誰喝醉了? Guess who's drunk?
我猜是Wallace I guess Wallace.
恭喜你猜對了 You guess right.
我夢裏的那個女孩... So, that girl from my dream...
女的 繼續 Girl. Okay.
我在圖書館遇到她了 I saw her at the library.
圖書館 能允許我假想 我們聊的是男人嗎? Library. Can I pretend we're talking about a guy?
然後我去了派對 居然她也在 And then I'm at this party and, hey, there she is.
居然他也在 Hey, there he is.
我覺得她... I think she's...
我覺得他... I think he's...
我覺得她就是我夢中的那個女孩 I think she's the girl of my dreams.
嗯 Mmm.
那你應該跟學生妹假女友分手了 Then you should break up with your fake high-school girlfriend.
我從未有過這種感覺 I've never been so sure about something.
那你應該跟學生妹假女友分手了 Then you should break up with your fake high-school girlfriend.
這究竟是怎麼回事? What's that?
你應該跟學生妹假女友分手了 You should break up with your fake high-school girlfriend.
我是真不明白 夥計 I'm not getting it, friend.
你想搞劈腿? You're thinking of juggling two chicks?
沒那回事! Not even!
你應該跟你那學生妹假女友分手了 Well, you should break up with your fake high-school girlfriend.
等等 誰告訴你的? Wait, who told you?
Wallace 不然呢! Wallace. Duh!
- 他現在神志不清 - 管他的 He's not even conscious. Whatever.
你應該知道被人背叛有多傷 You of all people should know how sucky it is to get cheated on.
你不是有工作要做嗎? Don't you have a job to do?
你說得是 我要群發這消息 拜拜 You're right. I should send out a mass text about this. Bye.
Wallace 你是怎麼辦到的? Wallace, how do you do that?
Wallace! Wallace!
加拿大亞馬遜的網址是? Amazon. Ca, what's the website for that?
Amazon.Ca "Amazon. Ca.''
我要訂個非常牛逼的東西 I have to order something really cool.
你有新郵件 You've got mail.
夥計 這東西說我有新郵件 Dude, this thing claims I have mail.
這些年來 電腦能做的事 足以讓你虎軀一震 It's amazing what we can do with computers these days.
夥計 我在讀郵件了 Dude, now I'm reading it.
感動得我老淚縱橫 So happy for you.
"Pilgrim先生 我料想" "Dear Mr. Pilgrim, it has come to my attention
"我們之間很快將有場決鬥" "that we will be fighting soon.
"我是Matthew Patel..." "My name is Matthew Patel, and... ' ' Blah, blah, blah...
"敬告你... 單對單... 七個邪惡..." "Fair warning... Mano y mano... Seven evil... ' ' Blah, blah.
這真是... 這真是... 這真是... This is... This is... This is...
真是啥? What?
真是太無聊了 This is boring.
刪了它 Delete.
Scott Scott,
你是在等你剛下的訂單? are you waiting for the package you just ordered?
應該是 Maybe.
現在週末 最早也要等到星期一 It's the weekend. It won't ship until Monday at the earliest.
你剛才說啥來著? You were saying?
- 突襲抱抱! - 嘿! Attack hug! Hey!
突襲抱抱 真的很可愛 太可愛了 Attack hug. That's so cute. So cute.
你忘記了? You don't remember?
你約了半小時前跟我在車站見的 You're supposed to meet me at the bus stop a half-hour ago.
我怎麼可能忘記? How could I possibly forget?
年鑒協會真是無聊 Yearbook club is so boring.
你都不知道工作時 他們放的歌有多難聽 I cannot believe the music they put on while we work.
是啊 真折磨人啊 That's sucky.
Hannah跟Alan分手了 她現在又喜歡上了Derek Hannah broke up with Alan and now she's all into Derek.
但Tamara卻說 是她先喜歡上Derek的 But then Tamara claims she has dibs on Derek.
我早跟你說過 I tell you.
失誤! Bad!
抱歉 都是我在失誤 Okay. I'm sorry, that was all me.
單人時間! Solo round!
啊哦 Uh-oh.
Nega忍者 Nega ninja.
Nega忍者! Nega ninja!
我永遠也贏不了這傢伙 I can never get past that guy.
不要為這傷心嘛 Don't beat yourself up about it.
遊戲結束! Game over!
你還想繼續嗎? Do you want to keep going?
繼續? 9 8 Continue? Nine, eight,
7 6 5... seven, six, five... I think...
...4 3... ...four, three...
我想我們應該... I think that we should...
...2 1 ...two, one.
遊戲開始了 各位 遊戲開始了 Game on, everybody. Game on.
我們要上台演出了 I got us a show.
噢 我的天 什麼時候? Oh, my gosh, when?
星期三 Wednesday.
在Rockit酒吧 更牛的是這是TIBB主辦的 The Rockit. And even better, it's the T.I.B.B.
哇哦! Whoa!
多倫多國際樂隊大獎賽? The Toronto International Battle of the Bands?
沒錯 That's right.
有個傢伙對我說 "Steve 你認識玩樂隊的人嗎?" This guy at work was like, "Steve, you know anybody in a band?"
我說 "我就是啊" And I was like, "I'm in a band.''
然後他說 "你玩樂隊?" And he was like, "You're in a band?"
我就說 "哥玩樂隊很多年了" And I was like, "Yeah, I am totally in a band.''
這故事真棒 Great story, man.
有沒有獎品之類的? Is there a prize or something?
和G-Man Graves簽約出唱片 Only a record deal with G-Man Graves.
- 那是誰? - 你居然不知道? Who's that? You don't know?
千禧年廠牌的獨立製作人 Indie producer of the millennium.
噢 Oh.
要是我們贏了 就不止Knives一人 穿我們性感波彈的T恤了 If we win, it won't just be Knives wearing Sex Bob-Omb shirts.
是個潮人都會哦 It'll be the cool kids, too.
我保證 I promise
我會盡可能推掉學習小組的事 來看你們比賽的 I will do everything I can to get out of the study group and come.
我要尿尿 I have to pee.
噢 我的天 有哪些樂隊參賽? Oh, my gosh, who are you battling?
Crash和男孩們 Crash and the Boys.
是那個主唱叫Crash 和其他男生組成的樂隊? That one band with Crash, and those boys?
恩 就是那個 Yeah, that's the one.
我討厭他們 I hate them.
噢 我的天 我也討厭他們 Oh, my gosh, I hate them, too.
他們很噁心 Yeah, they suck.
噁心壞了 They suck bad.
嘿! Hey!
你是Scott Pilgrim? Uh, Scott Pilgrim?
我本想邀你出去玩 Hi, I was thinking about asking you out,
但我又意識到這樣做很丟臉 but then I realized how stupid that would be.
所以你想出去玩嗎? So, do you want to go out sometime?
不用了 你能簽收嗎? No, that's okay. You can just sign for this, all right?
我剛醒 你剛在我夢裏出現過 I just woke up, and you were in my dream.
我夢到你在給我送快遞 是不是很奇妙? I dreamt that you were delivering me this package. Is that weird?
一點都不 It's not weird at all.
不奇妙? It's not?
不 因為在你腦中有 No, it's just that you have this really convenient
我常用的亞空間便利通道 subspace highway running through your head that I like to use.
速度大概有5秒1英里 It's, like, three miles in 15 seconds.
是 是 Right, right.
我忘了你們加拿大沒這東西 I forgot you guys don't have that in Canada.
你不記得我了嗎? You don't remember me, do you?
我們那天在派對上見過 We met at the party the other day.
你是那個"吃豆人"男? Were you the Pac-Man guy? No.
不 那傢伙是個大傻逼 Not even. That was some total ass.
我是另外一個 I was the other guy.
我說 不管怎樣 你快把這單簽收了吧 You know, you need to sign for this, whatever this is.
可是一旦我簽了 你就走了 But if I sign for it, you'll leave.
現實就是如此 Yeah, it's how it works.
那個 或許 Okay, well, maybe,
你要不要出去轉轉? 互相認識一下? do you wanna hang out sometime? Get to know each other?
你剛來這兒吧? You're the new kid on the block, right?
我一直都住在這兒 因此我們應該一起出去轉轉 I've lived here forever, so there are reasons for you to hang out with me.
你想約我出去? You want me to hang out with you?
嗯 如果你沒意見的話 Yeah, if that's cool.
如果我答應你 你會簽收這個包裹吧? If I say yes, will you sign for your damn package?
那8點見? So, yeah, 8:00?
她答應了
你為什麼傻站在這裏? Why are you just standing there?
兄弟 我是在等你 Dude, I'm totally waiting on you.
抱歉 我還以為你屬於 那種酷到不守時的人 I'm sorry, I just assumed you were too cool to be here on time.
你想當然了 Oh, you assumed wrong.
你為什麼要來多倫多? So, how did you end up in Toronto?
逃避某些東西 大概吧 Just needed to escape, I guess.
哦 Yeah.
我在這找到了工作 而且Gideon總是說 I got this job here, and Gideon had always said
多倫多是最棒的城市之一 所以... Toronto was one of the great cities, so...
Gideon是你的男友? Is Gideon your boyfriend?
他只是朋友 He's a friend.
那他是你的前男友? Was he your boyfriend?
我們現在不談這個話題好嗎? Do you mind if I don't get into that right now?
我也不感興趣 It's so not interesting to me.
那你呢? 你是做什麼的? So, what about you? What do you do?
我現在處於待業期 I'm in between jobs at the moment.
你以前幹啥的? Between what and what?
我上一個工作 是個充滿遺憾的冗長故事 Well, my last job was a long story filled with sighs.
這種故事我多得是 I know plenty of those.
這是你離開紐約的原因? Is that why you left New York?
差不多吧 Pretty much.
也是時候搬到冷點的地方生活了 It was just time to head somewhere a little more chilled.
這裏可是相當的冷 Well, it's certainly chilled here.
是啊 Yeah.
太冷了 像在冰櫃裏 It's chilled, as in cold.
沒錯 Yeah.
是不是有點過分了 現在不是都四月了嗎? This is ridiculous. Isn't it, like, April?
是啊 I know.
我幾乎都看不到你了 I can barely see you.
這整件事完全就是場災難 This whole thing is an unmitigated disaster.
我想把這糟糕約會看做是天意 應該是個不錯的借口 I think act of God is a pretty decent excuse for a lousy date.
所以你覺得這是約會? So this is a date, eh?
我有說約會? Did I say date?
舌頭打結亂說的 Slip of the tongue.
舌頭 Tongue.
隨便啦 還有很多時間 Anyway, night's not over yet.
我覺得那兒有個東西 I think there's a thingy over here, somewhere.
什麼東西? A thingy?
一扇門 A door.
來吧 Come on.
你想喝什麼茶? What kind of tea do you want?
還有得選? There's more than one kind?
有藍莓茶 覆盆子茶 人參茶 安眠茶 We have blueberry, raspberry, ginseng, Sleepytime,
綠茶 檸檬綠茶 green tea, green tea with lemon,
蜂蜜檸檬綠茶 肝硬化茶 green tea with lemon and honey, liver disaster,
蜂蜜姜茶 姜茶 ginger with honey, ginger without honey,
香草杏仁茶 白巧克力茶 藍莓菊花茶 vanilla-almond, white truffle, blueberry-chamomile,
香草胡桃茶 Constant Comment茶(茶品牌) vanilla-walnut, Constant Comment
最後還有 伯爵紅茶 and Earl Grey.
有些是你瞎編的吧? Did you make some of those up?
我喝安眠茶 I think I'll have Sleepytime.
聽起來不錯 That sounds good to me.
讓我給你拿條毯子 Let me get you a blanket.
那真是太好了 That would actually be awesome.
小子 我在換衣服 Dude, I'm changing.
抱歉 我太冷了 Sorry. I'm just cold.
這樣呢 好點沒? Here, does that help?
好多了 是什麼東西? Yeah, that's very warm. What is that?
懂了 Okay.
那你還要去床上拿毯子嗎? Were you just gonna bring the blanket from your bed?
可能吧 I guess.
考慮到我們都很冷 或許我們應該裹在一起 Maybe we should both get under it, since we're so cold.
那茶怎麼辦? What about our tea?
我可以 I can
不喝茶 not have tea.
我改變主意了 I changed my mind.
從什麼變到什麼? Changed it to what? From what?
我不想跟你做愛了 Pilgrim 至少現在不想 I don't wanna have sex with you, Pilgrim. Not right now.
好吧 Okay.
這樣的暴風雪天氣 我是不會送你回去的 It's not like I'm gonna send you home in a snowstorm or anything.
你能睡我的床 You can sleep in my bed.
我保留改變主意 稍後跟你做愛的權利 And I reserve the right to change my mind about the sex later.
這樣不錯 就這樣 Well, this is nice. Just this.
很久都沒這樣過了 It's been, like, a really long time,
我想我挺需要這樣的 無論這會發展成什麼 so I think I needed this, whatever it is,
所以謝謝 so thank you.
不用客氣 You're welcome.
那個 這不算是一夜情吧? Hey, so, can this not be a one-night stand?
原因之一 我什麼都沒得到 我開玩笑的 For one thing, I didn't even get any. That was a joke.
你想說什麼? What did you have in mind?
來看第一輪的樂隊選拔賽吧 Come to the first round of this Battle of the Bands thing.
你玩樂隊? You have a band?
我們不怎麼樣 拜託來吧? Yeah, we're terrible. Please, come?
好啊 Sure.
噢! 等等 我能要你的電話嗎? Oh! Wait. Can I get your number?
哇 女孩的號碼 Wow. Girl number.
比賽見 Scott Pilgrim See you at the show, Scott Pilgrim.
是今晚 地點是... Hey, it's tonight. At the...
嗨 你真的來了 Hey. You totally came.
是的 我真的來了 Yes. I did totally come.
請不要介意我哥哥 他有慢性衰弱癥 Please excuse my brother. He is chronically enfeebled.
- 我是Stacey - 嗨 I'm Stacey. Hey.
- 這是Wallace 他的舍友 - 嗨 This is Wallace, his roommate. Hey.
這是我男友 Jimmy This is my boyfriend, Jimmy.
嗨 Hey.
噢 這是Knives Oh, and this is Knives.
- 嗨! - 嗨! Hey! Hey!
喜歡我的新造型嗎? So, do you like?
那個 我... Well, I...
得走了 Have to go.
下一個出場的樂隊來自Brampton Okay, this next band is from Brampton,
他們是Crash和男孩們 and they are Crash and the Boys.
上帝啊! 這是場噩夢 God! This is a nightmare.
是噩夢? 醒過來 醒過來 醒過來! Is this a nightmare? Wake up, wake up, wake up!
一旦我們上台 你就會好的 Once we're on stage, you'll be fine.
我們只上過台試過音 而那調音師討厭我們 We were just on stage for sound check, and the sound guy hated us.
你那是緊張了 表演前的煩躁擺了 It's just nerves. Pre-show jitters.
觀眾愛我們對吧? People love us, right?
噢 完蛋了 Oh, man, this is bad.
真的完蛋了 This is so, so bad.
嘿 Jimmy 你覺得他們怎麼樣? Hey, Jimmy, do they rock or suck?
他們還沒開始表演 They have not started playing yet.
這是個測試 Jimmy That was a test, Jimmy. - One, two.
恭喜你通過了 You passed.
那不錯 Okay.
晚上好 Good evening.
我是Crash 這些是男孩們 My name is Crash. These are the Boys.
那是女孩也是男的? Is that girl a boy, too?
沒錯 Yes.
他們也有個女鼓手? They have a girl drummer?
這首歌叫做 "我好悲傷 我非常非常悲傷" This song is called I Am So Sad, I Am So Very Very Sad.
歌是這樣唱的 Goes a little something like this.
* 好悲傷! * So sad!
曲畢 謝謝 Thank you.
這可不是比誰時間短 It's not a race, guys.
好吧 下一首獻給那位 All right, this next song goes out to the guy
一直在看台上亂叫的人 who keeps yelling from the balcony.
歌名叫做 "我們討厭你 麻煩你去死" It's called We Hate You, Please Die.
太貼心了 我喜歡這首 Sweet. Love this one.
* 我能感受到 我能聽到 * I can feel ya, I can hear ya...
我們要接著他們上台?
我們贏不了了
這樣就沒法和G-MAN簽約
更別提在混沌劇院作開場演出了
拜託 Scott
別傻站著了好嗎
我看著心裏發毛
謝謝 Thank you.
你是怎麼跟Scott認識的? So, how do you know Scott?
他是我朋友 He's a friend.
我很難把這些事都記得很清楚 It's hard for me to keep track sometimes,
因為他朋友太多了 because he has so many friends.
Knives 你怎麼認識Scott的? Knives, how did you meet Scott?
這個... Well...
噢 不 Oh, no.
跟噩夢一樣啊 This is a nightmare.
我們得現在就開始 聲音要大 We need to play now and loud.
好 Okay.
是這樣 我跟我媽坐公交車 So, I was on the bus with my mom...
這就算是故事的結尾? Is that seriously the end of the story?
噢 老天吶! Oh, my gosh!
好吧 Okay.
他們開始了! They're on!
下一支樂隊來自多倫多 This next band is from Toronto.
那麼 有請 性愛波彈! And, yeah. Give it up for Sex Bob-Omb.
性愛波彈 我愛你們! I heart you, Sex Bob-Omb!
Scott 準備好了嗎? Scott, are you ready?
好了 Kim? 你... Okay. Kim? Are you...
我們是性愛波彈! 一 二 三 四! We are Sex Bob-Omb! One, two, three, four!
* I'll take you for a ride * I'll take you for a ride
* On my garbage truck * On my garbage truck
* On, no * Oh, no
* I'll take you to the dump * I'll take you to the dump
* 'Cause you're my queen * 'Cause you're my queen
* I'll take you uptown * I'll take you uptown
* I'll show you the sites You know you wanna ride * I'll show you the sites You know you wanna ride
* On my garbage truck * On my garbage truck
* Truck, truck, truck * Truck, truck, truck
* We'll pass the mansions by * We'll pass the mansions by
* Drive right through the needle's eye * Drive right through the needle's eye
* Oh, my * Oh, my
* Oh, no... My... * Oh, no... My...
* My, my, my, my * My, my, my, my
* I've got a stereo * I've got a stereo
* You've just got to turn the knob * You've just got to turn the knob
* And maybe we'll go * And maybe we'll go
* As far as we can * As far as we can
* I'll be your garbage man * I'll be your garbage man
* I'll take out your junk * I'll take out your junk
* And I'll crush it... * And I'll crush it...
Pilgrim先生 Mr. Pilgrim.
Matthew Patel是也 It is I, Matthew Patel.
接在下一招 Consider our fight begun.
我幹什麼了? What did I do?
我該怎麼辦? What do I do?
揍他! Fight!
快哉 All right.
小心! 那孫子有一手 Watch out! It's that one guy.
妙哉 妙哉 妙哉 Well, well, well,
真乃棋逢對手將遇良才 you're quite the opponent, Pilgrim.
你他媽到底誰啊? Who the hell are you, anyway?
在下喚作Matthew Patel! My name is Matthew Patel!
Ramona首任惡魔前男友是也 And I'm Ramona's first evil ex-boyfriend.
她的啥? Her what?
有誰還想再喝點兒什麼嗎? Anyone need another drink?
等下 我們是在為了Ramona打架嗎? Wait. We're fighting over Ramona?
足下不曾接到在下的電郵戰書? Didn't you get my e-mail explaining the situation?
我掃了一眼而已 I skimmed it.
無禮狂徒 受死吧! You will pay for your insolence!
嘿 他這身行頭是怎麼回事兒? Hey, what's up with his outfit?
就是啊 難不成是個海盜? Yeah, is he a pirate?
你是海盜嗎? Are you a pirate?
我當海盜我時髦 Pirates are in this year.
你真的跟這傢伙好上過? You really went out with this guy?
對啊 Yeah.
七年級的時候 In the seventh grade.
然後呢? And?
是橄欖球季嘛 也不知怎麼的 It was football season and for some reason,
這些兔崽子都看上我了 all the little jocks wanted me.
Matthew是唯一不那麼混蛋的 Matthew was the only non-white, non-jock boy in town.
我們倆就聯合起來 把他們都給收拾了 So, the two of us joined forces and we took 'em all down.
刀光劍影 拳來腿往 曠日持久 We brawled and scrapped and fought for hours.
Matthew有神力 沒人打得過他 Nothing could beat Matthew's mystical powers.
我們就親過一次嘴 We only kissed once.
十天之後 我讓他去撒泡尿照照自己 After a week and a half, I told him to hit the showers.
我說 等下 什麼"神力"? Dude, wait. Mystical powers?
天網恢恢 報應不爽 You'll pay for this, Flowers.
* 你要想來把我打 * If you want to fight me
什麼? What?
* 你得笨成什麼樣 * Ha! You're not the brightest
* 無敵火球和在下 * You won't know what hit you in the slightest
這傢伙不賴啊 This guy's good.
* 一招你都接不下 * Me and my fireballs
* 青雲衣兮白霓裳 * My Demon Hipster Chicks
* 教訓他 Matty 教訓他 Matty * Tell him, Matty. Tell him, Matty.
* 君子一言 快馬一鞭 * I'm talking the talk
* 八面玲瓏 風度翩翩 * Because I know I'm slick
* 風! 度! 翩! 翩! * S- L-ick
看招! 火球! Fireballs
* 把丫給我揍扁了 * Take this sucker down
* 看你爺爺的厲害 * Let us show him what we're all about
這根本就不押韻啊 That doesn't even rhyme.
簡直不可能 怎麼會這樣? This is impossible. How can this be?
睜大眼睛看著吧 Open your eyes, maybe you'll see.
擊倒! K- O!
真不錯! 快吃金幣 Sweet! Coins.
上帝啊 這也可以啊? God, is that allowed?
好吧 見到你真高興 Well, it was nice meeting you.
跟你的同性戀朋友說一句 再會了 Tell your gay friends I said bye.
同性戀朋友? Gay friends?
Wallace! 又來了? Wallace! Again?
- 開房去吧 兄弟們! - 噢 老天吶! - Get a room, guys! - Oh, my God!
不是吧 兩塊四? 連坐公交回家都不夠 Oh, man, $2.40? That's not even enough for the bus home.
我會再借你三毛五的 I'll lend you the 35 cents.
我宣佈 性愛波彈贏了 Yeah, so, Sex Bob-Omb wins.
性愛波彈贏了? Sex Bob-Omb won?
之後
那麼... 這到底是怎麼回事兒? So, what was all that all about?
我猜啊 I guess
我們要想約會的話 你可能得 先打敗我的七個惡魔前男友 if we're gonna date, you may have to defeat my seven evil exes.
你有七個惡魔前男友? You have seven evil ex-boyfriends?
七個惡魔前男友 沒錯 Seven evil exes, yes.
- 那麼我就得打... - 打敗他們 And I have to fight... Defeat.
要想繼續約會 我就得打敗這七個惡魔前男友? Defeat your seven evil exes if we're going to continue to date?
差不多 Pretty much.
那麼 你是說我們現在在約會嘍? So, what you're saying right now is we are dating?
我猜算吧 I guess.
這意思是說我們可以親熱親熱了? Does that mean we can make out?
行啊 Sure.
真棒 Cool.
啊! Aw!
某人很高興啊 Someone's happy.
嗯 某人昨晚上到二壘了 Well, someone got to second base last night.
某人今晚還有約會 And someone has a second date tonight.
那這傢伙還真幸運 Someone's lucky, then.
我說"某人"的時候 就是指"我" 你明白的吧? You know when I say "someone," I mean "me," right?
我昨晚上到二壘了 I got to second base last night.
可能是一壘半 Maybe first-and-a-half.
我請Ramona今晚過來共進晚餐 所以你不能待在這兒 So, I invited Ramona over for dinner tonight, so you can't be here.
我不想你把這兒弄得跟基窩一樣 I don't want you gaying up the place.
好吧 Scott Okay, Scott.
但是作為回復 我要發佈最後通牒 But in return, I have to issue an ultimatum.
你那些個著名的最後通牒之一嗎? One of your famous ultimatums?
少丟人現眼了 It may live in infamy.
今天你必須跟Knives 就是那個可憐的小天使分手 You have to break up with Knives, that poor angel, today.
但是很困難 But it's hard.
你要是不的話 我就把Knives的事告訴Ramona If you don't, I'm going to tell Ramona about Knives.
我向上帝起誓 Scott I swear to God, Scott.
什麼? 你... What? You...
嗨 早上好 Hi. Morning.
- 嘿 Jimmy - 雙重標準! Hey, Jimmy. Double standard!
同性戀守則不是我編的 I didn't make up the gay rulebook.
你要是覺得不爽... 手放下 You got a problem with it... Stop.
跟利伯雷斯的鬼魂一起拿走 (美國六七十年代著名笑星 這裏指剛才的罐頭笑聲) Take it up with Liberace's ghost.
你真是個怪物 You're a monster.
把培根給我 趁我看Lucas Lee時 Give me the bacon, and go do your dirt
接著幹你的下作事兒去吧 while I watch the Lucas Lee marathon.
Lucas Lee是誰? Who's Lucas Lee?
噢! Oh!
他過去是位滑冰健將 He was this pretty good skater.
現在是個好演員 Now he's this pretty good actor.
他現在正在多倫多拍一部 Winifred Hailey導演的電影 He's filming a Winifred Hailey movie in Toronto right now.
在多倫多拍電影啊? They make movies in Toronto?
對啊 Yes.
我回頭去跟蹤他 I'm stalking him later.
那麼這個Lucas Lee... So, this Lucas Lee...
Lucas Lee跟你沒關係 滾吧 Lucas Lee is not important to you right now. Get out.
你個爛人 You suck.
邊兒去 Out.
這事兒誰都知道 Surprising no one.
出去 Out.
小子 你給我乖乖聽好 Now, you listen close, and you listen hard, bucko.
等會兒我會被高高懸掛 The next click you'll hear is me hanging up.
之後你就會聽見槍聲呼嘯 The one after that is me pulling the trigger.
嘿 Knives Hey, Knives.
嘿 你想談談嗎? Hey, do you wanna, like, talk or whatever?
你是否穿著一件棕色的帽衫? Are you wearing a tan jacket, like, a spring jacket, and a hoodie?
還戴頂傻乎乎的小帽? And a dorky hat?
不傻啊 你怎麼神經兮兮的? It's not dorky. Why are you psychic?
嘿! Hey!
嘿 嘿 Hey. Hey.
嘿 Hey.
噢 上帝啊 Oh, my God.
不敢相信TCAD要來了 帶我去看演出好嗎? I can't believe TCAD's coming to town. Will you take me to the show?
好吧 聽著... Yeah, listen...
嘿 我晚上想請你來共進晚餐 Hey, I wanted to invite you over for dinner.
吃中國菜嘍? Like, Chinese food?
來見見我的父母 是我的生日晚宴 To meet my parents. It's my birthday dinner.
我覺得這真是個餿主意 I think that's a really bad idea.
不 挺好的啊 怎麼? No, it's okay. Why?
我對你來說太老了 I'm too old for you.
你才不呢 我爸爸比媽媽大九歲 No, you're not. My dad is nine years older than my mom.
你父母同意跨種族約會或者什麼的嗎? Are you even allowed to date outside your race or whatever?
我不在乎 我... I don't care. I'm...
我... I'm in...
呃... Uh...
聽著 Listen,
我在想 I was thinking
我們應該分手 we should break up or whatever.
真的? Really?
是的 Yeah.
不會有結果的 It's not gonna work out.
噢 Oh.
Knives哪兒去了 今晚不來嗎? Where's Knives. Not coming tonight?
不 我們分手了 No, we broke up.
來聽聽怎麼樣 我從最終幻想2里學來的貝斯 Hey, check it out, I learned the bass line from Final Fantasy II.
Scott 你真是心地善良 Scott, you are the salt of the earth.
多謝 Thanks.
我是在說反話呢 I meant scum of the earth.
多謝 Thanks.
你跟Knives分手了? You broke up with Knives?
沒錯 不過別擔心 Yeah, but don't worry.
也許很快你們就能見到 我的新任新女友了 Maybe soon you'll meet my new-new girlfriend.
新任新女友 New-new.
從現在開始 排練時不得談論女朋友 也不許有女友入內 Okay, from here on out, no girlfriends or girlfriend talk at practice.
不論是老的還是新的 還是 Whether they're old, new, or
- 新任新女友 - 新任新女友 New-new. New-new.
上一輪我們僥倖勝出 We were lucky to survive the last round.
這回是突然死亡了 明白嗎? It's sudden death now, okay?
好吧 Okay.
找我的 找我的 找我的 That's for me. That's for me. That's for me.
嘿 你來了 Hey, you're here.
說的沒錯 Yes, like you said.
你知道你的頭髮怎麼了嗎? You know your hair?
我知道 I know of it.
全是藍色啊 It's all blue.
每過一個半星期我就換一次 頭髮的顏色 習慣就好了 I change my hair every week and a half, dude. Get used to it.
那麼... So...
你們是怎麼認識的? How do you guys all know each other?
高中吧 我想 High school, I guess.
就像Neil說的 What Neil said.
我就是Neil I'm Neil.
不管你相信不相信 高中時我跟Scott約會過 Believe it or not, I actually dated Scott in high school.
有什麼令人尷尬的故事嗎? Got any embarrassing stories?
嗯 他是個白癡 Yeah, he's an idiot.
好吧 再見 夥計們明兒見 Okay, bye. See you guys tomorrow.
排練怎麼辦? What about rehearsal?
Neil知道我的那部分 Neil knows my parts.
我就是Neil I'm Neil.
然後
你還好吧? You doing okay, there?
很好啊 Yeah, good, good, good.
她把頭髮顏色給換了 She changed her hair.
那又怎麼樣? 藍色看著很不錯啊 So? It looks nice blue.
是的我知道 但是她甚至根本就 Yeah, I know, but she did it without even making
沒把這當回事兒 a big deal of it or anything.
她善變 衝動 又率真 She's fickle. Impulsive. Spontaneous.
上帝啊 我該怎麼辦? God, what am I gonna do?
真不敢相信你這樣兒的 還怕我把這地方搞成基窩 Can't believe you're worried about me gaying up the place.
晚餐怎麼樣了? So, how's dinner coming along?
馬上就好 Yeah, good, good, good.
好吧 我就不做電燈泡了 Okay, well, I'm gonna leave you lovebirds to it.
我要到Casa Loma古堡去追尋 我那異性戀的愛 I am heading up to Casa Loma to stalk my hetero crush.
別走! Don't go!
你他媽的能男人點兒麼? Will you man the hell up?
你今晚可以上到二壘半去 You can get to second and a half base tonight.
你這麼覺得? You think so?
如果你一個小時後三振出局 就來城堡找我 Well, if you strike out in the next hour, come find me at the castle.
如果我三振出局了? If I strike out?
得 不是如果 60分鐘後見 Okay, when. See you in 60.
十五分鐘後
確實是不錯的咖喱麵包 This is actually really good garlic bread.
咖喱麵包是我最喜歡的食物 Garlic bread is my favorite food.
老實說我可以每頓飯都吃它 I could honestly eat it for every meal.
或者乾脆就一刻不停地吃 Or just eat it all the time without even stopping.
你會變胖的 You'd get fat.
不 我為什麼會變胖呢? No, why would I get fat?
麵包讓你發胖 Bread makes you fat.
麵包讓你發胖? Bread makes you fat?
三十分鐘後
我為你寫了首歌 I wrote a song about you.
是嗎? You did?
是的 歌是這樣的 Yeah, it goes like this.
* Ramona * Ramona
* 忍不住想 * On my mind
* Ramona * Ramona
真期待它能盡快完成 Can't wait to hear it when it's finished.
完成? Finished?
四十五分鐘後
你的頭髮還真亂吶 Your hair's pretty shaggy.
噢 上帝啊 我得理個發了 是嗎? Oh, God, I need a haircut, don't I?
什麼? What?
不 對不起 我只是... No, sorry. I just...
就在我跟我的前女友分手前 我剪了個很糟的髮型 I got a bad haircut right before me and my big ex broke up,
但那是很久以前了 我都快忘光了 but that was so long ago now I can barely remember.
Scott對上一次去理髮店 理發的時間一清二楚 Scott is acutely aware that his last salon haircut took place
準確地講是431天之前 他分手三小時前 exactly 431 days ago, three hours before his big breakup.
之後他就自己剪頭了 He's been cutting his own hair ever since.
陳年往事 So long ago.
聽著很苦逼啊 Sounds like a bad time.
苦逼? 還好吧 Bad time? Not really.
就是 It was.
我們倆都不好過 It was a mutual thing.
假話 It wasn't.
她跟我說她也很難過 I mean, she told me it was mutual.
她甩了他 真是殘忍 She dumped him. It was brutal.
她叫什麼? What was her name?
我認識她時 她叫Nat She was Nat, when I knew her,
但是她不再喜歡那名字了 but she stopped liking that name.
也就不再喜歡我了 Then she stopped liking me.
你頭髮真不錯 我喜歡你的長髮 Your hair is cute. I like it long.
但短了之後可愛 不是嗎? But it would be cuter short, wouldn't it?
- 什麼? - 什麼? What? What?
你戴個帽子幹嘛? Why are you wearing that hat?
我想我們可以出去走走 I thought we could go for a walk.
六十分鐘後
別跟我說大冷天出來走 Tell me we didn't come out here in the cold
就是為了拿帽子扣住你的腦袋 so you could cover your hair with that hat.
沒有 我只是喜歡散步 No, no. I just love me some walking, you know.
一條腿邁到另一條前面 像這樣 走啊走 Just putting one leg in front of the other, like this. Walking.
你看著好像高了點兒 You seem a little heightened.
好吧 好吧 我不知道 Yeah. Yeah, I don't know.
我跟你在一塊兒的時候 有點兒像嗑了藥一樣 I just sort of feel like I'm on drugs when I'm with you.
不是說我在嗑藥 除非是你嗑藥 Not that I do drugs, unless you do drugs,
那種情況下我就一直在嗑藥了 in which case I do drugs all the time.
和你在一起的時候 Every drug.
不知怎麼的 各種上癮 Yeah, I don't know. Just when I'm with you,
好像一切都變明亮了 things sort of seem a little brighter.
這是哪裏? What is this place?
一個很棒的城堡 It's a totally awesome castle.
這裏在拍電影 They're shooting this movie here right now.
好 各就各位 還有很多活要干 Okay, everybody, let's do this. Lots to do, everyone.
很多活 Lots to do.
你找到要跟蹤的人了嗎? Did you find the guy you were stalking?
我想就快找到了 I think I'm about to right now.
Lee先生去旅行咯 Mr. Lee is traveling.
Lee先生? Mr. Lee?
Lucas Lee Lucas Lee.
噢 Oh.
噢? Oh?
音效 And roll sound.
我想和他一起領養孩子 I wanna have his adopted babies.
開始 Here we go.
很好 各就各位 All right, on your marks, everyone.
噢 咱們得走了 Oh, man, we got to go.
為什麼? What? Why?
我跟那傻子約會過 I used to date that clown.
接下來... And...
開拍 Action.
噢 天吶 Oh, my God.
嘿 Hey.
能將我和她分開的 The only thing keeping me and her apart
只有我爆你菊花的兩分鐘 is the two minutes it's gonna take to kick your ass.
你跟名人約會過? You dated a famous guy?
九年級 同上戲劇課 In ninth grade. We had drama.
也許是數學課 Actually, it might have been math.
我只記得很戲劇性 I just remember there being a lot of drama.
嘿! Hey!
他還只是個拖著鼻涕的跟屁蟲 He was a snot-nosed little brat. He just followed me around.
拖著鼻涕? 但他可是名人 He had snot in his nose? But he's famous.
嘿 我在說你 Scott Pilgrim Hey! I'm talking to you, Scott Pilgrim.
名人在和我講話 He's famous and he talked to me.
能將我和她分開的 The only thing keeping me and her apart
只有我爆你菊花的兩分鐘 is the two minutes it's gonna take to kick your ass.
能不能... 能不能給我簽個名? Can I have your... Can I have your autograph, please?
怎麼樣? What's up?
過得如何? 他看起來不錯 How's life? He seems nice.
崩! Boom!
嗯... 卡! And that's a cut!
Scott 邪惡前男友 打吧 Scott, evil ex. Fight.
重來一遍 重來一遍 Let's get ready to go again, please. Let's get ready to go again.
嘿 小子 Hey, hombre.
你以為跟巨星對著幹有勝算嗎? You really think you can stand a chance against an A-lister, bro?
別以為能成為我的對手 Some competish you are.
嘿! Hey!
喂 我和你還沒完呢 Hey, I'm not done with you.
噢 Oh!
你好像看到重影了 Looks like you're seeing double.
他不錯吧? He's good, right?
當我想休息的時候 Sometimes I let him do the wide shots
偶爾讓他拍拍遠景 when I feel like getting blazed back in my Winnie.
怎麼說呢 What can I say?
我離不開我的替身隊 I'm nothing without my stunt team.
嘿 問問他們蹲在名人陰影下的滋味 Hey! Ask them how it feels to always get his sloppy seconds.
站在... How does it...
我去喝點咖啡 你們要什麼? Hey, I'm gonna get a coffee. You homies want anything?
- 不 我剛吃過 - 不用了 No, I just ate. Negative.
真歡樂啊 That's actually hilarious.
啊 Ah.
真愉快 Hilarious.
Lee先生! Mr. Lee!
該你上場了 You're needed back on set.
準備好... Prepare...
感受邪惡前男友聯盟的暴怒吧 Prepare to feel the wrath of the League of Evil Exes.
邪惡前男友聯盟? The League of Evil Axes?
你不知道這個同盟? You really don't know about the League?
不知道七個操控Ramona愛情之路 The seven evil exes? Coming to kill you?
追殺你的邪惡前男友? Controlling the future of Ramona's love life?
沒聽過 No.
噢 是嗎 好吧 別擔心 Oh, well, hey, listen, man. Don't worry about it.
- 真的? - 走吧 咱們去喝一杯 Really? Yeah. Let's go get a beer.
太好了... That's great...
崩! Boom!
演得真好 You are a pretty good actor.
我今年要上奧斯卡 I'm going for the Oscar this year.
可是你玩滑板行嗎? But are you a pretty good skater?
可不僅僅是行 I'm more than pretty good, ese.
我有自己的輪滑公司 I have my own skate company.
但你能在那欄杆上滑嗎? But can you do a thingy on that rail?
小子 那叫極限滑板 It's called a grind, bro.
那你現在能秀一下嗎? So, can you do a grindy thingy now?
你說真的? Are you serious?
足有200級台階 欄杆破舊 There are, like, 200 steps, and the rails are garbage.
你要是覺得太難... Well, hey, if it's too hardcore then...
你以為激將法對我管用? You really think you can goad me into doing a trick like that?
有姑娘看著呢 There are girls watching.
拿爺的滑板來 Somebody get me my board.
嗨 我是你的粉絲 Hi. Big fan.
必須的 Why wouldn't you be?
哇嗚 Wow.
哇哦 Wow.
哇噢 Wow.
哇喔 Wow.
耶 摔得好 Yes! He totally bailed.
啊 沒拿到他簽名 Ah! I didn't get his autograph.
別... No.
今天到此為止 各位 And that's a wrap, everybody.
嘿 Ramona哪去了 還在這兒嗎? Hey, where's Ramona. Is she still here?
不 她不見了 No. She totally bailed.
說真的 這怎麼回事 What's the deal? Seriously.
動身 各位 太陽要出來了 Let's move, people, the sun is coming up.
嘿 又是我 聽到留言打給我 Hey, it's me again. Scott. Give me a call when you get this.
Scott Pilgrim Scott Pilgrim.
說真的 這怎麼回事? What's the deal? Seriously.
你昨天問過了 Yep. You said that last night.
你知道什麼事最扯淡嗎? You know what really sucks, though?
什麼? What?
所有事 Everything.
夠了 夥計 Come on, guy.
不能說這事沒有預見性 You can't say you didn't see this coming.
啥? What?
你認為這幾個X是什麼? What did you think these were?
親親? 七個小親親? Kisses? Seven little kisses?
七個致命前男友 Seven deadly X's.
怎麼啥事都這麼複雜? Why does everything have to be so complicated?
要為你渴求的東西而戰 If you want something bad, you have to fight for it.
站上你的挑戰台 Scott Step up your game, Scott.
高聲喊出那個L開頭的詞 Break out the L-word.
拉拉? "Lesbian?"
另一個L打頭詞 The other L-word.
蕾絲邊? "Lesbians?"
是"戀愛" Scott 我不是在逗你 It's "love," Scott. I wasn't trying to trick you.
嘿 老兄 Hey, buddy, look,
如果她真是你夢中的女孩 if she really is the girl of your dreams,
那麼你必須讓她知道 then you have to let her know.
需要克服戀愛之路上的一切障礙 You have to overcome any and all obstacles that lie in your path.
你做得到 為了她 這是你的宿命! You can do it. Be with her! It's your destiny!
順便 你得給我搬出去 Plus, I need you to move out.
- 什麼? - 就是這樣 What? Yeah.
我指望她能回你電話 I'm kind of banking on her calling you back
這樣我就不用對驅逐你感到愧疚了 so I don't have to evict you and feel all guilty and shit.
我有預感是打給你的 I have a feeling that's for you, guy.
嘿 Hey.
嘿 Scott Hey, Scott.
- Envy? - 我擦咧 Envy? Oh, shit.
有一陣子沒聯繫了 Been a while.
嗯 Yeah.
一年了吧 A year, I think.
大概吧 Approximately.
過得如何? How are you?
現在不咋地 I'm not doing so good right now.
噢 真糟糕 還在傷心啊? Oh, that's too bad. Still breaking hearts?
啥? 不 別的事 你不會懂的 What? No. I've been... It's been different. You have no idea.
也許是的 你有女朋友了嗎? Probably not. Do you have a girlfriend?
會讓我嫉妒嗎? Should I be jealous?
你肯定羨慕嫉妒恨吶 我現在有個超正點的女朋友 Yes, you should. I have this totally awesome girlfriend
成天給我打電話 who calls me all the time and she's America.
她是美國人 She's American.
她叫什麼? What's her name?
才不告訴你 Ramona I'm not telling you that. Ramona.
噢 Oh.
怎麼? 你認識她? What? Do you know her?
嗯? 不認識 What? No.
聽起來好像你很熟 It sounded like you did.
我得掛了 和你聊天很高興 I got to go. It's been nice chatting with you.
喂 Wait.
好了 Okay.
一切都太扯了 Everything does suck.
也許不是? 喂? Or does it? Hello?
嘿 Knives Hey, Knives.
是嗎? 你在外面? What's that? You're outside?
Scott在嗎? Is Scott here?
呃...他剛走了 You know what? He just left.
真的? Really?
是的 Yeah.
抱歉 Sorry.
你有女朋友了嗎? Do you have a girlfriend?
七個致命前男友 Seven deadly X's.
恐怕你得擊敗我的七個邪惡前男友 You may have to defeat my seven evil exes.
這回是突然死亡了 明白嗎? It's sudden death now, okay?
她身上有傷疤噢 She's got some battle scars, dude.
不能說這事沒有預見性 You can't say you didn't see this coming.
喂 Dude.
別 Please.
我現在可沒心情 I'm really not in the mood for this.
夠了! Okay, enough!
你打到我的胸了! You punched me in the boob!
你就等死吧 Prepare to die, obviously.
我今天已經受夠了 能不能別這樣? Look, I've had it today. Can we not do this right now?
我很樂意推遲 I'd love to postpone, darling,
但是我最後一張延遲票已經用完了 but I just cashed my last rain check.
- 哪兒搞到的? - 我腦補的! What's that from? My brain!
管他是什麼 我現在不在狀態 I'm really, really not up for this. Whatever it is.
好吧 小兔崽子 待會見 Okay, little chicken. I'll see you later.
不過你是看不到我的 But you won't see me,
因為下次 我絕對是認真的 because next time, I'll be deadly serious next time.
啥? What?
算了! Never mind!
喂 誰來救救我吧 Man. Someone help me.
- 喂 - Scott Hello. It's Scott.
他又怎麼了? What did he do this time?
不 就是我 Scott No, it's Scott. It's actually me.
你又怎麼了? What did you do this time?
我什麼也沒幹 但大家都瘋了 I didn't do anything. It's everyone else that's crazy.
我現在出大狀況了 你還在上班? Look, I'm having a meltdown or whatever. Are you still working?
我差不多要走了 I'm literally about to leave.
好 我現在進來 Cool, I'm coming in.
我今天要脫咖啡因咖啡 I think I'll make it a decaf today.
Scott Pilgrim! Scott Pilgrim!
你把我姐怎麼了? What did you do with my sister?
抱歉 我得走了 Sorry, I had to go.
我TM能為你做點什麼? So, what can I Get you?
怎麼到哪裏都看到你在上班? Is there anywhere you don't work?
這就是工作 像你這種SB不會懂的 They're called jobs. Something a like you wouldn't know anything about.
況且 我TM都告訴你不要勾引Ramona And by the way, I can't believe you asked Ramona out
你還TMD約她出去 after I specifically told you not to do that.
你嘴怎麼了? How are you doing that with your mouth?
CTMD不用你管! Never mind how I'm doing it!
你有什麼話要說? What do you have to say for yourself?
我能要杯焦糖瑪奇朵嗎? Can I get a caramel macchiato?
在你TM踐踏下一個姑娘之前 You know what, maybe it's high time you took a look in a mirror
最好先照照鏡子 before you wreak havoc on another girl.
我? 踐踏? Me? Wreak havoc?
說到TMD姑娘 And speaking of which,
我聽說那個一腳踹了你的姑娘 I hear the girl that kicked your heart in the ass
又來多倫多了 is walking the streets of Toronto again.
好吧 我能來這邊拿咖啡嗎? So, I can just get my coffee over here?
抱歉昨晚有點失控 Sorry that got a little crazy last night.
是的 你消失了 Yeah, you kind of disappeared.
是的 我經常這樣 Yeah, I do that.
聽著 我有時會很難相處 Listen, I know I can be hard to be around sometimes.
就算你不想繼續下去了 我也能理解 I totally understand if you don't want to hang out anymore.
不 我還想繼續 No, no, I want to hang.
你知道 你的邪惡前男友... You know, the whole evil ex-boyfriend thing...
們 Exes.
不是什麼大事 It's no biggie.
雖然我知道還早 I know it's early,
但我覺得沒有任何事能阻礙... but I don't think anything can get in the way of how I...
擦! Shit!
我的前女友 It's my ex.
- 很難搞? - 是的 A big one? Mmm-hmm.
Envy Envy.
我得... I'm gonna...
閃人了 Excuse me.
你頭髮亂糟糟的 Your hair is getting shaggy.
嗯? Yeah?
那就是Ramona So, that's Ramona.
嗯 Yeah.
好吧 我吃醋了 Okay, I'm jealous.
你會吃醋? You're jealous?
我有權吃醋 I'm allowed.
你為了個得瑟的漂亮小子甩了我 You left me for that cocky pretty boy.
你都沒見過他 You haven't even seen him.
是 你為了個我都沒見過的人甩了我 I know, you left me for someone I've never even seen.
你會見到他的 我們在Lee's Palace開音樂會 Maybe you will see him. We're playing Lee's Palace.
你必須得來 You should so totally come.
絕對不可能 That's so not going to happen.
很好 等著瞧吧 Great, you're so on the list.
SB Pilgrim要的焦糖瑪奇朵 Caramel macchiato for Pilgrim.
無限傷感
那就是Envy So, that was Envy.
嗯 Uh-huh.
你倆怎麼了? What happened with the two of you?
我們現在能不能別談這個 Do you mind if we don't get into it right now?
她想搬去蒙特利爾 She wanted to move to Montreal,
因為想念她最好的朋友 because she missed her best friend.
就是Todd這傢伙 This guy, Todd.
然後兩個禮拜之後他倆就搞上了? And two weeks later, they were sleeping together, I guess?
差不多 Basically.
我也談過一個叫Todd的 也沒好下場 Dated a Todd once. Didn't end well, either.
我知道有多糟 前任纏著你不放 I can see how it sucks. Having the past come back to haunt you.
能不能別想這些事了? Is it wrong that I try not to think about it?
那想什麼? What do you want to think about?
想想我家現在多暖和 How warm my place is right now.
噢 Oh.
沒上她? 你攪基嗎? And you didn't bang her? Are you gay?
我情不自禁去想前女友 I couldn't stop thinking about my stupid ex-girlfriend.
像Uma Thurman的正點姑娘? Is that the Uma Thurman movie?
Envy回來不代表你倆沒完 Scott, just because Envy is back in town doesn't make it not over.
雙重否定 太狡猾了 Double negative. It's tricky.
結束了 生活會繼續 It's over. Move on.
好總結 Word.
好 從現在開始 Right. I'm not going to let her toy with me.
不能再讓她繼續玩弄我了 From this moment on,
我不會再想Envy Adams了! I will think of Envy Adams no more!
有個壞消息 I have distressing news.
是不是說我們不行 因為我恐怕不能勝任 Is it news that we suck, because I really don't think I can take it.
撞鬼頭明晚有場秘密演出 No. The Clash at Demonhead are doing a secret show tomorrow night
Envy叫我們去為他們暖場 and Envy asked us to open for them.
我恨你 I hate you.
一事歸一事 A gig is a gig, is a gig, is a gig.
把你的個人歷史先放一邊 Maybe you can put your history aside
為了樂隊先克服一下 until we get through this thing, for the band.
為了樂隊 為了樂隊 For the band? For the band?
- 我們難道... - 為了樂隊 Can't we do our... For the band?
我們難道不能辦自己的秘密演出嗎? Can't we do our own secret shows?
我們所有的秀都是秘密演出 All our shows are secret shows.
一定得干 說不定有星探 We're doing it. G- Man might be there.
禮拜二就是第二場比賽了 We play the next round of the battle on Tuesday.
我們得弄出點動靜來才行 We have to get some buzz going. We need groundswell.
我們需要追隨者 We need stalkers.
如果你前男友在別的樂隊 What would you do if your ex was in a band
叫你給他暖場怎麼辦? and they wanted you to open for them?
我前男友的樂隊? If my ex was in a band?
唔 Mmm-hmm.
可能是有點尷尬 Might be a little awkward, but maybe
但也許答應才是成熟的表現 it's the grown-up thing to do.
是啊 我們都是成年人對吧? Yeah. We're all adults here, right?
我的天! Oh, my God!
他在和大屁股非主流妞兒約會! He's dating a fat-ass hipster chick!
我恨那蠢妞! I hate her stupid guts!
他會喜歡她只是因為她年紀大 看起來都差不多25了! He only likes her because she's old. She's probably, like, 25!
她就是個普通的大屁股白種妞 She's just some fat-ass white girl, you know?
我想你提到她很胖 I think you mentioned she was fat.
被她搶佔先機了 She's got a head start.
兩個月前我都不知道這世上還有天籟! I mean, I didn't even know there was good music until two months ago!
哎呀 好燙啊 Hey, this really burns.
你不該染髮的 You should rinse.
當我想到這主意 就告訴自己 "非幹不可!" When I got this idea, I just thought, "I have to do it!"
你說什麼我聽不到 I can't hear anything you're saying.
噢 天! 我看上去真... Oh, God! I look so
棒 good.
Ramona Flowers偷走了我家Scott Ramona Flowers stole my Scott.
但我知道如何奪回他 But I know how to get him back.
如何? How?
Yung Neil 我是Knives 你真是太可愛了
* come on, come on * Come on, come on
謝謝 我們是性愛波彈 Thank you, we were Sex Bob-Omb.
好! Yeah!
感謝後排觀眾支持 We have some merch at the back, so...
現在去吧檯? Okay, bar? Now?
說實話 我們糟不糟? Level with me. Did we suck?
不知道 你覺得呢? I don't know. Did you?
她走了 她覺得我們糟透了 She has to go. She knows we suck.
嘿 Ramona. Hey, Ramona.
嘿 Hey.
活見鬼 What the hell?
嘿 Hey.
嘿 Scott. Hey, Scott.
搞毛啊 What the hell?
瞧Knives和誰在一起 Look who Knives is hanging out with.
那姑娘又是誰? Who is that girl again?
Scott泡過的 Scott dated her.
很短一段時間 Briefly, briefly.
她多大了? How old is she?
我見不得她 I gotta pee on her.
人有三急 要尿尿了 I mean, I gotta pee. Pee time.
是時候了 And then it was time
讓多倫多沉淪在甜蜜的憂鬱中 for Toronto to drown in the sweet sorrow
歡迎 撞鬼頭! of The Clash at Demonhead!
Envy! Envy! Envy! Envy!
彈貝斯那傢伙... That guy on bass...
* Oh yeah? * Oh, yeah
就是Todd ...that's Todd.
我知道 I know.
* Oh yeah * Oh, yeah?
你知道? You know?
* Oh yeah! * Oh, yeah!
哦 不 Oh, no.
* Hello, again, friend of a friend * Hello, again, friend of a friend
* I knew you well * I knew you well
* Our common goal * Our common goal
* was waiting for the world to end * was waiting for the world to end
* Now that the truth * Now that the truth
* is just a rule that you demand * is just a rule that you demand
* You crack the whip * You crack the whip
* Shape-shift and trick the past again * Shape-shift and trick the past again
* Send you my love on the wire * Send you my love on the wire
* Lift you up, every time * Lift you up, every time
* Everyone * Everyone
* pulls away * pulls away
* from you * from you
真是...慘絕人寰啊 That was... That was devastating.
天啊... 我的神啊 Oh, my God. Just, oh, my God.
是啊 你該看他們的現場 那更騷啊 Yeah, you should see them live. They're much better live.
我覺得我要吐了 I think I'm gonna throw up.
真難以相信我會這麼說 I can't even believe I'm saying this,
Envy Adams想在後台見你們 but Envy Adams would like you all to come backstage.
我們所有人? All of us?
我TM的有口齒不清嗎? Did I stutter?
等等 你是怎麼認識Envy的? Wait, how do you know Envy?
Scott跟她約會過 Scott dated her.
嘿 Ramona Hey, Ramona.
嘿 Todd Hey, Todd.
好久不見 It's been awhile.
嗯 Mmm-hmm.
嗯? Mmm-hmm?
我覺得此地不宜久留 I think we should get out of here.
巡演怎樣啊 和the Pixies同場演出? So, how was the tour? You guys play with the Pixies?
你們簡直就是超級明星啊 You're like a superstar now.
是啊 簡直無法用言語形容 Yeah, it's not really something I can put into words.
Envy... Um, Envy...
我在跟你的博客啊 I read your blog.
話說 Scott和Ramona嗎? So, Scott and Ramona, eh?
怎樣? What of it?
你倆還真是很搭啊 You guys make a cute couple, you know?
真般配 Suit each other.
你是我的偶像啊 Envy You're my role model, Envy.
Ramona 我喜歡你這身打扮 你能買得起啊? Ramona, I like your outfit. Affordable?
Envy 我剛想問 你的褲子是在紐約買的嗎? Envy, I was just gonna say did you get those jeans in New York?
我在跟Ramona說話 I'm talking to Ramona right now.
Ramona就住在紐約啊 Ramona lived in New York.
是嗎 Did she?
我剛從紐約回來 為了Gideon在混沌劇場演出 I was just there. Played the Chaos Theatre, for Gideon.
你認識他的 對吧? You know him, right?
我吻過的人居然吻過你! I've kissed the lips that kissed you!
Knives! Knives!
咋了? What?
我又不怕跟女孩動武 I'm not afraid to hit a girl.
我可是搖滾明星 I'm a rock star.
我的天! Oh, my God!
你把她的藍色染髮劑打沒了 You punched the highlights out of her hair.
你把她的藍色染髮劑打沒了! He punched the highlights out of her hair!
你真是本色難改啊 You are incorrigible.
我都不知道"本色難改"什麼意思 I don't know the meaning of the word.
你們在這玩得開心麼? So, you guys doing anything fun while you're in town?
開心? 在多倫多? Fun? In Toronto?
夠了! 你個j巴男! That's it! You cocky cock!
為你沒人性的罪行付出代價吧 You'll pay for your crimes against humanity.
我的脖子 My neck.
你的頭髮 Your hair.
你不知道嗎? Didn't you know?
Todd是純素食者 Todd's vegan.
純素食? Vegan?
那沒什麼大不了的 It's not really that big of a deal.
別說笑了 No kidding.
任何人都可以純素食的 Anyone can be vegan.
那也是可以吃奶蛋產品的素食吧 Ovo-lacto vegetarian maybe.
吃啥嗎? Ovo-what?
我不吃不喝任何肉 奶 或是蛋 I partake not in the meat, nor the breast milk, nor the ovum
只要他們的主人有張臉 of any creature with a face.
說白了 Short answer,
純素食讓你比大多數人都更牛B being vegan just makes you better than most people.
回答正確 Bingo.
哥們 問個問題 Hey, man, question.
我想知道 怎麼不吃不喝蛋奶製品 I always wondered, how does not eating dairy products
你還會有這麼變態的大力? give you psychic powers?
好吧 Okay.
你知道大腦只有10%是有用的吧? You know how you only use 10% of your brain?
其他90%都不過是些凝乳啊 乳清啊 That's because the other 90% is filled with curds and whey.
純素食學院給你教的這些嗎? Did you learn that at Vegan Academy?
隨你怎麼說吧 親愛的 Go ahead and get snippy, baby.
你要是懂一點科學的話 或許我還會聽你在說些什麼 If you knew the science, maybe I'd listen to a word you're saying.
我要是尿了褲子 你能當做那是被雨淋濕的嗎? If I peed my pants, would you pretend I just got wet from the rain?
沒在下雨 It's not raining.
你為什麼不跟我簡單地說一下 Then why don't you give me the Cliff Notes
你是怎麼跟這個混蛋分手的 on how and why you ended up dating this A-hole.
現在說這個很有必要嗎? Is that really important right now?
要能從你跟他的往事得到一些 Well, if there's a key element in his backstory
可以讓我免於一死的關鍵信息的話 是有必要啊 that's gonna help me out in a critical moment of not dying, yes.
那時我在跟Lucas約會 直到Todd出現 I was only dating Lucas until the minute Todd walked by.
我想那是不太好 但我曾經是不太有愛的 Guess that's not very nice, but I used to be, kind of like that.
我倆厭惡所有的人 到處搞破壞 也毫不在意 We hated everyone. We wrecked stuff. Nobody cared.
為了我 他把月球打出了一個洞 He punched a hole in the moon for me.
非常瘋狂 It was pretty crazy.
大概一周半後他跟我說 A week and a half later he told me
他父親要把他送去純素食學院 his dad was sending him to Vegan Academy,
我便甩了他 so I dumped him.
所有跟你約會的人都是被你甩? Have you dumped everyone you've ever been with?
你沒有被甩過? You've never been the dumpee?
聽著 我可是一直被罵作"婊子" Look, I've dabbled in being a bitch.
這也是我來這裏的原因之一 It's part of the reason I moved here.
我真的想 把這些都拋開 I was really hoping to just leave it all behind me.
嘿 小情人們 Hey, lovebirds...
我們還沒完呢 我和他 We have unfinished business, I and he.
應該是"他和我" He and me.
你別跟我擺活語法 Don't you talk to me about grammar.
我不爽你 明白嗎? I dislike you, capisce?
留著到週一跟環衛女工說去吧 Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday.
啥麼? What?
到週一你便已化為塵土了 Because you'll be dust by Monday.
嗯... Um...
兩秒鐘後你會被碾碎 Because you'll be pulverized in two seconds.
環衛女工呢 她會來打掃的 And the cleaning lady, she cleans up dust.
她要除塵 She dusts.
那 為什麼是週一? So, what's on Monday?
因為今兒是週五 她週末兩天都休息 Because it's Friday now. She has the weekends off, so...
是週一 對吧? Monday. Right?
總之你贏不了的 Basically, you can't win this fight.
你必須跟她分手 You're gonna have to give up this girl,
不然Todd會讓你死無完屍的 because Todd's gonna kill you.
你以前是那麼的好! You used to be so nice!
Scott 我們要去Pizza Pizza吃了 Scott, we're gonna go to Pizza Pizza for a slice.
你完事之後給我們電話吧 Call us when you're done.
他馬上就完了 很快 He'll be done. Real soon.
聽上去有人想好好玩玩啊 Sounds like someone wants to get funky.
我能看穿你在想什麼 你的意志動搖了 你完了 I can read your thoughts. Your will is broken. You're through.
為了這刻骨銘心的一戰 喝一杯 怎樣? What say we drink to my memory?
公平的對抗 再來點豆漿? Fair trade blend with soy milk?
抱歉這麼說 但這太可悲了 I'm sorry, but that's pathetic.
哥們 我都從你那慧眼裏看出來了 Dude, I can see in your mind's eye.
你往那咖啡裏面兌了奶 You put half-and-half into one of those coffees
想讓我從純素變成蛋奶素 in an attempt to make me break vegan edge.
我要那杯豆漿的 I'll take the one with soy.
謝啦 小樣兒 Thanks, tool.
實際上 牛叉叉 我這杯才是豆漿 Actually, muchacho, I poured the soy in this cup.
但是為了往你那杯裏面添奶 我思索了好久 But I thought real hard about pouring it in that cup.
用我的"慧眼"什麼的 You know, in my mind's eye or whatever.
你在說什麼啊? What are you talking about?
你剛喝了杯對半奶咖 寶貝兒 You just drank half-and-half, baby.
別動! 純素警察! Freeze! Vegan police!
純素警察! Vegan police!
Todd Ingram 因違犯純素法第827條 Todd Ingram, you're under arrest for veganity violation,
吸食對半奶咖 你被捕了 code number 827, imbibement of half-and-half.
胡說! That's bullroar!
無純素食 無純素力 No vegan diet, no vegan powers!
可我這只是第一次違犯啊 But it's only my first offense.
沒有"事不過三"什麼的機會嗎 Don't I get three strikes? I mean...
你來 Take it.
2月1日 凌晨0:27分 At 12:27 a.m. On February 1st,
你在有意識的狀態下攝入了 意式冰激凌 you knowingly ingested gelato.
意式冰激凌不是純素的? Gelato isn't vegan?
全是牛奶和雞蛋 賤人 It's milk and eggs, bitch.
4月4日 晚7:30 你參與分食了雞肉燴芝士 On April 4th, 7:30 p.m. You partook a plate of chicken parmesan.
雞肉不是純素的? Chicken isn't vegan?
驅純素能力光波 射擊 The de-veganizing ray. Hit him.
天啊! Oh, my God!
不 不 No. No.
你曾經不吃蛋 You once were a vegone,
現在你要完蛋 but now you will be gone.
不吃蛋? Vegone?
抱歉 Sorry, I guess.
抱歉? Sorry?
你剛用頭撞碎了我的男朋友 You just headbutted my boyfriend so hard he burst.
你曾傷透我的心 咱們算扯平了 You kicked my heart in the ass, so I guess we're even.
Natalie Natalie.
Natalie? 沒有人再這樣叫我了 Natalie? No one calls me that anymore.
也許他們應該這麼叫你 Maybe they should.
咱們走吧 Let's get out of here.
跟你說 我都替你氣炸了 For the record, I am so pissed off for you, right now.
給我TM的閉嘴 Julie Shut the up, Julie.
好吧 Okay.
咱還是會去慶祝派對的 是吧? We're still going to the after-party, right?
我在想還會不會有什麼像樣的派對 I'm not sure there's going to be much of a party.
那樂隊裏有人剛被揍到爆 I think a third of the band just went "poom.''
真正屌的樂隊是不會去那些 為他們辦的派對的 Yeah, cool bands never go to their own after-parties.
只有那些可悲的 想和穿名牌的傢伙搭訕的人 Just the desperate people trying to rub elbows with the label guys.
那為什麼我們要...哦 Then why would we... Oh.
Neil 你不去嗎 Neil, you down?
Scott 你去的 對吧? Scott, you're in, right?
你想去? You wanna go?
我剛差點死在那裏哎 Well, I kind of almost died back there.
我沒說我想去啊 I'm not saying I want to go.
當然去啦 完全可以 Yeah. We can totally go.
你選擇吧 我聽你的 I'll do whatever you want to do.
那就走吧 So, let's go.
我們真的可以不用去的 We really don't have to go to this thing.
那兒很可能一片狼藉 It'll probably be a bad scene all around.
不 沒關係的 只是... No, I'm fine. It's just...
只是... It's just... Well...
你有和不完全是混蛋的人約會過嗎? Have you ever dated someone that wasn't a total ass?
目前為止 你還不完全是啊 So far, you're not a total ass.
但我有一部分是了? But I'm part ass?
如果能讓你好受些的話 在我約會過的人中 你最好 If it makes you feel better, you're the nicest guy I've dated.
等下 這是好還是? Wait, is that good?
這正是我現在需要的 It's what I need right now.
以後就不需要了? But not later?
Scott 我無法回答所有問題 懂嗎? Scott, I don't have all the answers, okay?
我只想盡我所能 活在當下 I'd just like to try and live in the moment if I can.
我只盼著能活下去 I'd just like to live.
我知道Todd的事很糟糕 Look, I know Todd was bad news,
但Envy不也是嗎? but are you saying Envy wasn't?
我們都有舊情人 We all have baggage.
但我的前女友不會每五分鐘要殺我 Well, my baggage doesn't try and kill me every five minutes.
你做過什麼讓你前男友如此發瘋? What did you do to make your ex-boyfriend so insane?
- 舊情人 - 隨便 Exes. Whatever.
沒有哪次分手是輕鬆的 總有人會受傷 No breakup is painless, somebody always gets hurt.
你和Knives又是怎麼回事? 誰甩的誰啊? What about you and that girl, Knives? Who broke up with who?
我想 是我甩了她吧 I believe I broke up with her.
她能冷靜面對嗎? And was she cool with that?
Knives和小Nail在一起 她很冷靜啊 Knives is with Young Neil now. She's totally cool with it.
你確定嗎? You sure about that?
是啊 她這麼小 已經表現得很成熟了 Yeah, she's very mature for her age.
我們和平分手 We had a very healthy breakup.
我們都很平靜 We're all peaches and gravy.
不! No!
那你和Kim呢? What about you and Kim?
我和Kim? 我差不多忘了 Me and Kim? I can barely remember.
是高中的事 她滿臉雀斑 It was high school. She had freckles.
是這樣嗎? That's it?
對啊 還算美好 但我們變心了 Yeah, it kind of ended. We changed.
這是整個故事嗎? That's really the whole story?
好 我都說了吧 我要擊敗一個小子才能和她在一起 Okay, fine, I had to fight a guy to be with her. Okay?
對付一個身穿紫裝 身高八十英尺 偏執瘋狂的傢伙 I fought a crazy, 80-foot-tall, purple-suited dude
必須先打敗96個人才能和他交戰 and I had to fight 96 guys to get to him.
他能飛 而且眼裏閃電 He was flying and shooting lightning bolts from his eyes, okay?
我要用盡力力氣 才把他打得眼冒金星 And I kicked him so hard that he saw the curvature of the earth.
這樣說讓你好過些了嗎? Does that make you feel any better?
你現在就像個混蛋 歡迎入伙 Well, now you are being a total ass. Welcome to the club.
對不起 我通常不會這樣的 I'm sorry. I'm not usually like this.
別擔心 我都不知道自己是什麼樣子了 Hey, don't worry. I don't even know what I'm like anymore.
前男友這件事讓我頭腦混亂 I think this ex-boyfriends thing is messing with my head.
- 舊情人 - 你為什麼總那樣說? Exes. Why do you keep saying that?
是之前看到的那個女孩? The girl from earlier?
- Roxy? - 你認識她? Roxy? You know this girl?
老兄 這還用說? Boy, does she know me.
她究竟在說什麼? What is she talking about?
他真的不知道? He really doesn't know?
等等 Wait.
怎麼樣? Hmm?
- 你和她? - 只是一小段 You and her? It was just a phase.
- 只是一小段嗎? - 你們還上床了? Just a phase? You had a sexy phase?
這毫無意義 都算不上是約會 It meant nothing. I didn't think it would count.
毫無意義? It meant nothing?
我只是有點好奇 I was just a little bi-curious.
既然這樣 親愛的 Well, honey,
我只是有一點點憤怒 I'm a little bi-furious.
如果再來一腳 我一定會殺了你 Do that again and I will end you.
讓開 蕾絲邊 Back off, hasbian.
如果Gideon不能擁有你 誰也不能 If Gideon can't have you, no one can.
同盟裏這樣宣佈的 The League has spoken.
Gideon那張虛偽的嘴臉最好自己到這來 Well, then Gideon best get his pretentious ass up here
因為我會讓你滾出加拿大 because I'm about to kick yours out of the Great White North.
- Wallace? - 怎麼? Wallace? Uh-huh?
- 這是真的 對嗎? - 是啊 This is happening, right? Oh, yeah.
踢她那玩意兒 Kick her in the balls.
我要把你送回去給Gideon I'm sending you back to Gideon
把你撕成碎片 你這人渣 in a thousand pieces, you slag!
哈! Ha!
我寧死也不回去 I'd rather be dead than go back.
他是怪物 你是婊子 He's a creep, you're a bitch,
你們兩個很般配 and you all deserve each other.
停下來吧 Ramona 這是同盟遊戲 Give it a rest, Ramona. This is a League game.
意思是? Meaning?
意味著你親愛的Scott要獨立作戰 Meaning your precious Scott must defeat me with his own fists.
我才不會打女孩子 她們太弱了 I don't think I can hit a girl. They're soft.
你別無選擇 You don't have a choice.
自己上吧 懶骨頭! Fight your own battles, lazy ass!
懶骨頭! Lazy ass!
每個叫Pilgrim的都會死 Every Pilgrim reaches the end of his journey.
有的會早一點 Some sooner than others.
你男朋友要在男人中間找朋友了 Your BF's about to get F'd in the B.
她的致命點在膝蓋後 Her weak point is the back of her knees.
等等 怎麼可能? Wait, how does that work?
我們親熱的時候 我總會... Whenever we were making out I would just...
好 夠了 Okay, enough.
你不會對她這樣做 You'll never be able to do this to her.
那麼... So...
來兩杯杜松子酒 Two gin-and-tonics, please?
我以為你不喝酒 I thought you didn't drink.
特殊場合會喝 怎麼 你要喝一杯嗎? Only on special occasions. Why? Did you want one?
我們不夠瞭解對方 不是嗎? Guess we really don't know that much about each other, do we?
乾脆給我列出你那些舊情人的名單 Maybe you could just give me a list of all of your exes
至少我知道下一個 so that I can at least know who's going to
要把我打得屁滾尿流是誰 beat my ass into the ground next.
小紙片什麼的東西嗎? 讓我找一找 Like a handy little laminate or something? Let me see if I have one.
我們何不交換信息 Maybe we could exchange our information.
完全出於對我精神健康的 Hey, just out of sheer curiosity and concern
好奇和關心 for my mortal well-being,
這裏有沒和你睡過的人嗎? is there anyone at this party that you haven't slept with?
我們該散了 I think we should split.
你是說離開這裏 還是分手那種散? As in get out of here, or as in split, split?
希望你自己想出答案 I'd hope you could figure that out.
還記得我救了你嗎? Or did you miss the part where I saved your ass?
怎麼會忘? 感覺是在公眾前洗貼身衣服 How could I? I feel like we just washed our sexy laundry in public.
是髒衣服 你醉了 Dirty laundry. You're drunk.
我才喝了一杯 I had, like, one drink.
我真不該在乎 我不喜歡這樣 Scott 我已經受夠了 I'm sorry I cared. I don't enjoy all this, Scott. In fact, I'm sick of it.
我以為你會更寬容 I thought you might be more understanding.
我只是... I just...
你只是另一個邪惡前男友 You're just another evil ex waiting to happen.
殘酷啊 That was harsh.
有點糟糕 That was not good.
真尷尬 That was embarrassing.
還有嗎 One more.
還有 給你這份愚蠢的名單 P.S. Here's your stupid list.
Matthew Patel Lucas Lee Todd Ingram Roxy Richter Matthew Patel, Lucas Lee, Todd Ingram, Roxy Richter.
Katayanagi雙胞胎是誰啊? Who the hell are the Katayanagi Twins?
噢! Oh!
你不知道? You don't know?
Katayanagi雙胞胎 The Katayanagi Twins
剛好是我們下場比賽的對手 just happen to be the next band in the battle.
他們都是大混蛋 They are totally bad-ass.
- Ramona和雙胞胎約會? - 是啊 Ramona dated twins? Apparently.
同時嗎? At the same time?
你知道嗎? You know what?
我不知道 也不想知道 I don't know and I don't want to know.
很好 你知道我很不喜歡 女孩阻礙樂隊發揮 Good. Because you know how I feel about girls blocking the rock.
很好 我心情不好時能表現更好 Good, I play better when I'm in a bad mood.
如果這事會影響你 If it's gonna be an issue though,
小Nail能頂替你 Young Neil can fill in for you.
不會有影響 你懂樂隊 It's not an issue. You know bands,
我懂格鬥 我們贏定了 I know battles. We got it covered.
你不想參加 我們可以理解 But we'd understand if you didn't want to take part.
我不僅想參加 Not only do I want to take part
我還要把他們摧毀 I want to take them apart.
好 我很激動 Okay, I'm getting tingles.
- 好 我們輸定了 - 噢! Okay, we're doomed. Oh!
那幅海報還要多打幾個感嘆號 That poster needs more exclamation marks.
噢 天啊 我們死定了 Oh, man, we're gonna get killed.
走吧 我們五分鐘後就要表演了 Come on, we're going on in five minutes.
等等 不是Katayanagis先上嗎? Wait, aren't the Katayanagis going on first?
我想 我們應該同時上 I think you're both on first.
等等 "吉他對抗吉他"? Wait, "Amp versus amp"?
我們要同時上台表演? We're going on stage at the same time?
不可能 That's impossible.
好 我錯了 Okay, my bad.
你的錯是說了這句"我錯了" Your bad is saying, "My bad.''
我們不應該來這裏 不該來這! We shouldn't even be here. We shouldn't even be here!
別胡扯 老兄! 為音樂我撇開自己的問題 Come on, man! I put my problems aside for the music.
如果我做到了 我們能做任何事 If I can do that, we can do anything.
那你和Ramona說話了嗎? Did you speak to Ramona, then?
什麼? 沒有 那天晚上後就沒看到她 What? No. I haven't seen her since the other night.
她就在這裏 She's totally here.
Scott? Scott?
我是不在乎 Not that I care,
但是你得在她消失前和她談談 but you should go talk to her before she's gone.
謝謝 Kim Thanks, Kim.
我一點也不在乎 And I really don't care.
我不是故意要讓你經受那些的 I didn't mean to put you through all that.
我這樣做是因為我愛你 你知道的 I only did it because I love you. You know that.
好 兄弟們 可以做到嗎? Okay, gang, can we do this?
我們可以的 對嗎? I mean, we can do this, right?
對 Right.
Scott? Scott?
Scott! Scott!
他們掀翻了屋頂! They tore the roof off!
我們是性愛波彈 We are Sex Bob-Omb
我們要讓你們感受死亡和憂鬱的氣息 and we're here to make you think about death and get sad and stuff!
歌曲從這裏開始 This is the beginning of the song.
* I'm hearing voices, animal noises * I'm hearing voices, animal noises
* The creme de la creme * The creme de la creme
* The feminine abyss * The feminine abyss
* And reaching my Staring at the truth 'til I'm blind * And reaching my threshold Staring at the truth 'til I'm blind
* My body's stupid * My body's stupid
* Stereo putrid * Stereo putrid
* Spilling out music * Spilling out music
* Into raw sewage * Into raw sewage
* Reaching my threshold Staring at the truth 'til I'm blind * Reaching my threshold Staring at the truth 'til I'm blind
* My threshold * My threshold
* Reaching * Reaching
* My threshold * My threshold
我們乾脆解散 結束一切 Let's just break up now and get it over with.
在Gideon Graves面前出盡了洋相 我們完了! We screwed the pooch in front of Gideon Graves. We're done!
Gideon在這嗎? 在哪? Gideon's here? Where?
你女朋友身邊的那個討厭鬼 That geeky guy next to your girlfriend.
那是Gideon? That's Gideon?
Gideon就是G先生? Gideon is G-Man?
好 我們開始吧 All right, let's do this.
* Reaching my threshold * Reaching my threshold
* My threshold * My threshold
我們出局了 We're out.
你要做什麼? What are you doing?
重新振作 Getting a life.
我來只是想看你演出 I just came to see your show.
我得... I have to...
Ramona Ramona.
Romona 我有話和你說 Ramona, I need to tell you something.
我也有話和你說 Yeah, I have something I have to tell you, too.
我知道你故作神秘冷漠 Great. Listen, I know you play mysterious and aloof
是為了逃避傷害 just to avoid getting hurt.
你不想說過去 也有你的原因 I know you have reasons for not wanting to talk about your past.
我一點也不在乎那些 I want you to know I don't care about any of that stuff
因為 我"拉拉"上你了 because I'm in lesbians with you.
什麼? What?
真的 我認真的 I really, really mean it.
噢! 好吧 Oh! Okay.
該你了 你剛要說什麼? It's your turn. What did you want to tell me?
我們分手吧 That we have to break up.
什麼? What?
Gideon來了 It's Gideon.
我就是不能... I just can't...
他一出現 我就不能自已了 I can't help myself around him.
這只是壞消息 That's the bad news.
嗨 Hey.
好消息也有 公司喜歡你們性感炸彈 The good news is that I'm officially loving the Sex-Bombs.
- 是波彈 - 搖滾三件套啦 Bob-Omb. Three-piece rock outfit
火辣逼人女鼓手啦 with a smoking hot red-head on drums.
當然少不了音樂 Music to my ear-holes.
知道麼? 我甚至等不及 You know what? I'm not even going to wait
什麼比賽結束再簽約 to see how you guys do in the final.
現在就簽 保證最少出3張專輯 I'm signing you right now for a three-album contract.
瞧瞧? 我也不完全是個壞人 See? I'm not such a bad guy after all.
就這麼自信我們會賣身給你? 你錯了 You think we're going to sell our souls to you? Well, guess again.
不要 我才不要簽這麼腦殘的製作人 No, I can't be a part of the band with this douche in charge.
哎喲! Scott Ow! Scott.
你得學著點控制情緒了 夥計 You got to try and keep your emotions in check, man.
可別一失足成千古恨喲 Don't let what's past ruin your future.
人們需要聽到我們 Scott The people need to hear us, Scott.
那你另尋高人彈貝斯吧 Then you're gonna have to find someone else to play bass.
哎呀 Whoops.
簽 簽 簽 一切搞定 Sign, sign, sign, and we are all set.
親愛的 上車吧? Sweetie, shall we?
對了! Scott Oh! Scott.
知道嗎 我們真該互相感謝對方 You know, we really should be thanking each other.
要不是我大意 Ramona不會和你在一起 I mean, if it wasn't for me, Ramona would never have been with you
多虧有你對比 她才這麼快回心轉意 but if it wasn't for you she wouldn't have gotten back with me,
這也算扯平了吧 so I guess it all shakes out.
Scotty 哥們 Scotty, buddy,
就咱倆知道 邪惡前男友軍團那事? between you and I, the whole League of Evil Exes thing?
我當時出那麼點子 因為我心情很不好 所以... I was in a really dark place when I put that together, so...
原諒我了? Forgiven?
好了 出發 All right, let's go.
太棒了! Yes!
沒錯 夥計們 我們要火了 This is it, guys. We are on our way.
我咋說了"拉拉" I said "lesbians.''
Scott Scott.
你確定她是你的唯一? Was she really the one?
唯什麼? The what?
我是說 你想和她一起迎接未來? I mean, did you really see a future with this girl?
就像 和噴氣背包一起 Like, with jetpacks.
時間會撫平一切 小老弟 Time heals all wounds, little brother.
也許下次咱碰上的沒有11個前男友 Maybe next time we don't date the girl with 11 evil ex-boyfriends.
是7個 Seven.
那還好一點 That's not that bad.
喂 是我 我知道那個 Hey. Yeah, I know.
真是太可悲了! It's so pathetic!
關燈! Turn off the light!
據我推測 你剛看到了某男的老二 Presumably, you just saw some guy's junk
為此我道歉 and I apologize for that.
好吧 Okay.
他也道歉 And he apologizes, too.
對不起 Sorry.
Scott 你知道我愛你 Scott, you know I love you.
但是今晚我需要用床 But I'm gonna need my own bed tonight.
我們要幹活 It's for sex.
嗯 Right.
差不多還要用一個星期 I may need it for the rest of the week, too.
好 Right.
也許一年 And the year.
我懂了 I get it.
你不如搬去Ramona家吧 Maybe you can move in with Ramona.
她和Gideon在一起了 She's with Gideon.
我的天 Oh, man.
大概是因為他有才又有財吧 That's probably just because he's better than you.
也許 Mmm.
不管怎樣 戰鬥已經結束 Either way, this fight is over.
嗯嗯 Mmm-hmm.
找Scott的 It's for Scott.
找你的 好哥們 It's for you, big guy.
喂 Hello.
嘿 夥計 Hey, pal.
我真心為剛才的失禮抱歉 I just want to say I feel terrible about earlier.
我不是故意惹你難過的 I don't want any hard feelings.
我就想 為什麼不主動打給你呢 So I figured, why not be the bigger man and just give you a call.
Ramona和你在一起嗎? Is Ramona with you?
怎麼說呢 你和我在一起嗎? I don't know. Are you with me?
是的 Yeah.
天啊 哥們 一切都會好的 Geez, buddy, it's gonna be all right.
你誤會了 我剛把熱可可撒褲襠上了 No, I just spilled hot cocoa on my crotch.
好吧 Mmm-hmm.
聽著 如你所知 Listen, as you know,
我在多倫多的混沌劇場要開業了 I'm opening a new Chaos Theatre in Toronto.
由性感波彈來做開場秀 And the Sex-Bobs are playing our grand opening tonight.
如果你不來捧場 大家都會怪怪的 It would feel really weird for all of us if you weren't there.
他們剛做了聲效測試 音響效果一級棒! They just did a sound check and the acoustics in here are amazing!
是嗎? 也許我會過去看看 Yeah? Maybe I'll see you there.
恭候光臨 好朋友 I hope so, amigo.
畢竟我不希望前男友們有隔閡 I don't want any more bad blood between exes.
你覺得呢? What do you say?
嗯 Mmm.
那好 再聊 Okay, laters.
不愧是賤聖啊 What a perfect asshole.
忘了我剛才說的 去了結他吧 Forget what I said earlier. Finish him.
口令? Password?
隨便你 Whatever.
答對 Cool.
二層口令? Second password?
答對 Cool.
We're not having no fun We're not having no fun
沒有 首張專輯比第一張好多了 No. The first album is much better than the first album.
Fun
No fun
Scott! 算了吧 Scott! Let it go.
別接受他的挑戰 Don't give him the satisfaction.
如果是我主動要求呢? What if I want the satisfaction?
Scott Pilgrim! Scott Pilgrim!
好夥計 歡迎來到混沌劇場 Buddy, welcome to the Chaos Theatre.
快給他滿上 零度可樂 可以嗎? Somebody get this man a drink. A Coke Zero, right?
我來這不是吃喝的 I'm not here to drink.
呃 我可不想和你吵架 Whoa, I've got no beef with you.
如果我要和你吵呢? What if I have a beef with you?
你還在為前男友協會的事生氣? Are you still mad about the whole thing with The Guild?
你說前男友聯盟? You mean The League?
協會還是聯盟 無所謂 都過去了 The Guild, League, whatever. It's ancient history.
我倒是要給你點顏色瞧瞧! I'll show you how ancient of history it is!
別急 別急! Wait, wait, wait!
覆可樂難收啊 哥們 There's no use crying over spilt Coke, buddy.
是她做的決定 咱們都得向前看 The lady made her choice and we're all just gonna have to move on.
我還沒動呢 夥計 Well, I ain't moving, buddy.
你現在是為她跟我決鬥? You wanna fight me for her?
不明顯嗎? Was that not clear?
還不明顯嗎? Was that not clear?
我不知道 I don't know.
那你到底為什麼要決鬥呢? Now, why on earth would you want to do that?
因為我愛她 Because I'm in love with her.
噢! 我決定為你獻首歌 Aw! I think this deserves a song.
Kimberly! Kimberly!
我們是性感波彈 We are Sex Bob-Omb.
來這賺錢謀生路 We are here to make money and sell out and stuff.
1 2 3 4! One, two, three, four!
說實話 這裏爛透了 Your club sucks, by the way.
如果我頂尖前沿的教堂式設計 Well, if my cathedral of cutting-edge taste holds no interest
入不了你這可悲加拿大人的眼 for your tragically Canadian sensibilities,
很遺憾要請你出門了 then I shall be forced to grant you a swift exit from the premises.
順便送你進地獄! And a fast entrance into hell!
Scott! Scott!
Knives? Knives?
你太好玩了 That's priceless.
你會付出代價的 You'll pay for what you did to him.
聽我說 宮保雞丁小姐 Listen, Kung Pao Chicken,
這完全是你前男朋友咎由自取 your old, old boyfriend brought this all on himself.
我警告過他很多次 他聽了嗎? 沒有 He was warned plenty of times, but did he listen? No.
沒跟你說話 我在跟她說! I'm not talking to you. I'm talking to her!
什麼? What?
他傷我就算了 但你不該傷他 You broke the heart that broke mine.
Chau來了你受死吧! Get ready to Chau down!
你在開玩笑吧? You're kidding, right?
哇! Wow!
這下你還說我不懂舞台秀? I mean, you can't say I don't know how to put on a show, right?
不可思議吧 That's incredible.
你他媽的到底怎麼回事? What the hell is your deal?
你搶我男人! You stole him!
搶走了! Stole him!
不知道你在說什麼 I don't know what you're talking about.
你撒謊! 騙人! You liar! Liar!
我沒搶你男朋友! 更別提Scott! I didn't steal your boyfriend! I didn't steal Scott!
我誰也沒搶! I didn't steal anyone!
搶我男朋友還狡辯! You steal my boyfriend!
住手! 都住手! Wait! Wait!
都別打了好嗎? 誰都沒搶誰 Can we please stop all this fighting? Nobody stole anybody.
Knives 我和你交往 也跟Ramona約會 懂了嗎? Knives, I dated you and then I dated Ramona, okay?
碰巧沒及時告訴Knives Maybe I forgot to tell Knives right away.
你腳踏兩隻船 Scott? You cheated on me, Scott?
你竟然瞞著我們倆? You cheated on both of us?
你背著我跟Knives在一起? You cheated on me with Knives?
不是 No,
是背著Knives跟你在一起 I cheated on Knives with you.
有什麼區別麼? Is there a difference?
你不是委屈麼? You weren't wronged?
對嗎? Right?
遊戲結束 Game over.
Scotty Scotty,
你可以隨便背叛女人 you can cheat on these ladies all you like.
但你無法騙過... But you can't cheat
死神 death.
我的天 Oh, man.
對不起 死的感覺很難受吧 Sorry. Dying's got to suck.
你知道什麼才噁心嗎? 被那個男的殺死 You know what sucks? Getting killed by that guy.
為什麼選他? Why him?
說來話長 It's complicated.
說吧 我又去不了哪兒 Well, I'm not going anywhere,
現在正是談話的好時機 so now might be a good time to get into it.
事實是 當時我被他迷住 Truth is, it was me who was obsessed.
我為他幾乎發狂 但他視而不見 I was crazy about him. But he ignored me.
在一起後我甚至比單身更孤獨 I was more alone when we were together than I ever was on my own.
所以我選擇了離開 That's why I had to leave.
那時他終於開始注意我 And that's when he started paying attention.
但是 為什麼回去? So, why go back?
他一出現 我就無法自已 Scott I can't help myself around him, Scott,
他總是能控制我的思想 he just has this way of getting into my head.
真是又煽情又和諧 Well, that's legitimately disappointing.
看來我真該放棄你了 I really will leave you alone forever now.
聽我說 他是真的能控制我 No, he literally has a way of getting into my head.
太可惡了 That is evil.
Scott 我並不想把你牽扯進來 I didn't mean for you to get dragged into this, Scott.
我只想讓事情簡單點 I just wanted something simple.
很抱歉這樣收場 I'm sorry it had to end this way.
我是為你而戰 Well, I really fought for you.
也許 我不值得你為之一戰 Maybe I'm not the one you should have been fighting for.
等等 What? Wait.
我好像明白了些什麼 But I feel like I learned something.
如果我沒死多好 Which would be great if I wasn't dead.
真孤單 So alone.
你不孤單 You're not alone.
對了! Right!
你髮型真爛 Your hair looks stupid.
第二道口令? Second password?
嗯 我看了 Yeah, I saw it.
但是漫畫比電影好看多了 It's just the comic book is better than the movie.
No fun
Scott 算了吧 Scott! Let it go.
別擔心 我知道在做什麼 Don't worry, I know what I'm doing.
Stephen 新陣容超贊 Stephen, the new lineup rocks.
沒有我 你們看來更好 You guys sound way better without me.
小Neil 彈得不錯 Young Neil, you have learned well.
從現在起 你叫"Neil'' From this point forward you will be known as "Neil.''
還有 Kim And, Kim,
我對所有事感到很抱歉 I'm sorry about everything.
我對自己也很遺憾 I'm sorry about me.
Scott Pilgrim! 夥計 Scott Pilgrim! Hey, buddy!
別廢話 你個自命不凡的傢伙 這地方真爛 Save it! You're pretentious! This club sucks!
我怒了 開戰吧 I've got beef. Let's do it.
等等! Wait, wait, wait!
你為她而跟我打? You want to fight me for her?
不 No.
我為我而跟你打 I want to fight you for me.
嗯 Kim! Um... Kim!
我們是性感波彈 We are Sex Bob-Omb and we are here to watch
我們來看Scott Pilgrim 打爆你們的牙齒 Scott Pilgrim kick your teeth in!
1 2 3 4! One! Two! Three! Four!
在下邊感覺怎麼樣? How's it going back there?
SB! You dick!
Knives? Knives?
我知道你在這兒 不要出手... I know you're in here. Don't attack...
Scott! Scott!
搶我的男朋友! Steal my boyfriend!
嘗嘗我的厲害! Taste my steel!
夠了 Enough!
不 Scott No, Scott.
這個胖妞傷了我的心 我要報仇 This fat-ass hurt me and I will have my revenge!
不 Knives 是我傷了你 是我一腳搭兩船 No, Knives, I hurt you. I cheated on you.
是我背叛了你們倆 I cheated on both of you.
我真的很抱歉 I'm really sorry.
還有 你不胖 And you're not a fat-ass.
她不是有意說的 She didn't mean that.
我們和好了吧? So, are we all good?
再好不過了 Never felt better.
嗨嗨! Yoo-hoo!
道歉 擁抱 完事沒? Are we done with the hugging and learning?
我想還有場戰鬥呢 I thought we had a fight going on here!
戰鬥 來吧 You've got a fight, all right!
你完蛋了 寶貝 Wrong move, baby.
你害我吞了口香糖 You made me swallow my gum.
它會在消化道裏呆上七年 It's gonna be in my digestive tract for seven years.
還是我的寶貝姑娘 Yeah, still my girl.
那就一起做姑娘吧 Let's both be girls.
Bad! Bad!
想怎麼樣? What?
準備! Get ready!
開始! Here we go!
好! 好! 好! Good! Good! Good!
連擊! Combo!
漂亮! Perfect!
Pilgrim 你以為你是誰? Who do you think you are, Pilgrim?
你覺得比我強嗎? You think you're better than me?
我告訴你 你是什麼 I'll tell you what you are.
我的眼中釘 A pain in my ass!
你知道花了多長時間 You know how long it took
來收集她前男友們的資料 to get all the evil exes' contact information
才組成這個愚蠢的聯盟嗎? so I could form this stupid league?
兩個小時 Like, two hours! Two hours!
你不夠酷 配不上Ramona You're not cool enough for Ramona.
你什麼都不是 You're zero! You're nothing!
而我 我才酷 Me? I'm what's hip.
接下來 I'm what's happening!
我要爆發了 現在 I'm blowing up right now!
你要爆炸了 You are blowing up.
現在 Right now!
擊倒! K- O!
我們的合約沒了 There goes our deal!
但還是收到合約款了 對吧? We're still getting paid, right?
合約沒了 There goes our deal.
噢 天啊 Oh! Oh, God!
你倆真是雙劍合璧 You two make a good combo.
是嗎? Yeah?
沒事 Yeah.
Scott Pilgrim Scott Pilgrim.
你能打敗我 Scott You can defeat me, Scott,
但你能打敗自己嗎? but can you defeat yourself?
壞了 Uh-oh!
歪小子Scott Nega Scott.
歪小子Scott Nega Scott!
別 No.
這是我應該面對的 This is something I have to face.
我自己 Myself.
單挑! Solo round!
他們有可口的法國吐司 上面還有香蕉 They have this incredible French toast with bananas on it
旁邊還有烤肉 and you get bacon on the side.
我喜歡 I'm liking that.
我們下周去吧 週二 Let's do it next week. Yeah, Tuesday.
好的 太棒了 Yeah, all right. Be good.
是啊 Yeah, yeah.
嗨 Hey.
出什麼事了 What happened?
沒事 我們剛聊天呢 他真不錯 Nothing, we just shot the shit. He's just a really nice guy.
我們下週一起吃早午餐 We're gonna get brunch next week.
我們有很多共同點 We actually have a lot in common.
你的頭髮 真夠亂的 Your hair, it's getting really shaggy.
- 是嗎 - 是的 It is? Yeah.
你應該剪剪了 You should probably get it cut.
你說得對 Yeah, you're right.
是應該剪剪了 I should get it cut.
去沙龍 At a salon.
沙龍? 好主意 Salon, yeah. That sounds really nice.
嗨 Hey.
你要走? You're going?
我還是消失吧 I should probably disappear.
完事了 你還要走? After all that?
我仍需要一個新的生活 I still need a new life.
我來這是逃避過去 但過去卻不放過我 I came here to escape, but the past keeps catching up.
我不想別人因我而受傷 I'm tired of people getting hurt because of me.
相信我會跨過這道砍兒 I'm pretty sure I'm gonna get over it.
我不僅僅指你 I don't mean just you.
哦 I understand.
我還是該謝謝你 I should thank you, though.
謝什麼? For what?
謝我約會過的最好的男孩 For being the nicest guy I ever dated.
有點悲傷 That's kind of sad.
是悲傷 It is kind of sad.
拜拜吧 Bye, and stuff.
再見吧 Yeah. And stuff.
去 追回來 Go, get her.
什麼? What?
你一直為她而戰 You've been fighting for her all along.
你呢? But what about you?
我沒事的 I'll be fine.
我太好 你就不好了 I'm too cool for you anyway.
再見 Knives Ciao, Knives.
去 Go.
喂 Hey.
介意我跟著你嗎? Hey, mind if I tag along?
你想跟我一起? You want to come with me?
是的 我想我們應該再試試 Yeah, I thought maybe we could try again.
繼續? 9 8 7 6 Continue? Nine, eight, seven, six,
5 4 3 2 1 five, four, three, two, one.
歪小子斯科特 -=完=-