Do you know what today represents?
Nine, Jim. Nine years me and you been together.
Nine we been main shit stains.
I know some dogs that don't even live to be nine.
You lucky if you get seven years out of a Great Dane.
But me and you been putting it in together for nine...
Happy anniversary, Jim.
- I don't celebrate anniversaries. - Jim, open it up.
- I wanna see the expression on your face. - Wanna see the expression on my face?
The expression you're gonna see on my face is "Fuck you."
I hate anniversaries, Paul.
Animal.
How we gonna work this?
Same way we always do. I interrogate him, you write it down.
Oh, so you making decisions now?
I hope the whole 6-9 know you're making decisions.
I'm gonna play the bad guy on this one.
- Doubtful. - Undoubtful.
Highly doubtful.
And you know why? Because you don't play the bad guy.
You just steal all the bullshit lines you hear on TV and the movies that you like.
- And that's not acting. - And it's not stealing. It's called homage.
- What? - Homage.
It's French for, "You better let me do this."
- You wanna interrogate this guy? - Yes.
Okay. Go in there, interrogate him and just don't fuck it up.
Find out who his supplier is and then get out of there. All right?
Yes. You act like this dude can't be interrogated.
You act like he's Godzilla and I'm Tokyo.
Watch and learn, Jimbo. I'm gonna show you some motherfucking homage.
Homage.
Unbelievable.
Homage.
- Whoa, what you doing? - Who the fuck are you? A cop?
No, no, no. Put the gun down, man. Look.
Cops think they can hold me. Hell, no. I'll kill all those fucking pigs.
- You in trouble, B? - What?
- You... - Don't waste my motherfucking time!
Jesus Christ, now he's doing Al Pacino from Heat.
- Help me with these cuffs, dude. - You see this gun?
I killed a cop for it.
And I took his goddamn phone.
You fuck me on this, and I'll blow your head off.
Because King Kong ain't got nothing on me!
- Who's this? - Now you're doing Training Day?
- Who's this? - You suck as an actor.
You stay out of here!
Get the information, let's get out of here...
...and go get something to eat. - Stop calling here!
- Or somebody's gonna die, bitch! - Like a Reuben.
- Lf it bleeds, we can kill it! - You see? What does that even mean?
Yes, they deserved to die, and I hope they burn in hell!
- Hey, Paul. - What?
You had me at "happy anniversary."
I got the death penalty in 12 systems.
- Star Wars? - Tell us about the chicken.
- Schindler's List? - Lord knows I love Harpo.
- But if he hit me, I'll kill him dead. - The Color Purple?
The Forbidden Zone was once a paradise.
I got no place else to go!
We're gonna need a bigger boat.
- Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice! - Everything on cable TV.
- Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker! - I've never seen that movie.
I'm not gonna shoot you, Frank.
Scarface.
Who are you, man?
They call me Mr. Tibbs.
- Bobby, look at this. - What they got you for?
- Drugs. - Drugs?
You the motherfucker trying to take over my corners?
- Oh, jeez! - You taking money out my pocket?
Police!
Oh, no, I don't sell it, man! I'm a middleman.
- Give me some of that. - Godzilla is coming!
- Godzilla? - Godzilla is coming!
What we have here is failure to communicate!
You gonna spend the night in the box!
Frankly, Raul, I don't give a damn. And where...
- And where is the Batman? - Batman? You're crazy, man. Police!
- Why'd you call back? They don't call back! - Police!
Nobody puts Baby in the corner!
You suck!
No, I swear, man.
I swear they drop the stuff off at my cell phone store, then I take it to the next guy.
- Then what? - That's it. That's all I know.
- Who does the drop? - Who does the drop?
Diaz, all right? Juan Diaz. Juan Diaz.
These are not the droids you're looking for.
Sit down. Sit down right here.
What the fuck? What the fuck is going...?
You're gonna give us Juan Diaz, or you're going away for a long time.
When's your next delivery? Look at me.
I was supposed to meet him today, 1:00.
Congratulations. You don't have to go to jail.
- You just been had by White Lightning. - What?
And Black Thunder!
A couple of dicks.
Time to go deep undercover, Jim.
Free minutes. You can call your grandmother, your aunts, your uncles.
Free cell phones here! Free cell phones here.
You should use me to call your mother.
Check it out! Check it out!
- Free cell phones. - You're looking good in that outfit.
No one's... I'm just bored here.
There ain't nothing happening. I think I'm gonna call Debbie.
- Right now, while we're working? - Now, yes, now.
I think something's happening. Something's going on.
Here comes our guy.
Want it? If I ain't got it, I'm gonna get it.
So get it while the getting's good, get it? Check it out.
Free minutes. You can call your grandmother, your aunts, your uncles.
Check it out! Check them ou...
BlackBerry?
Go ahead. It's okay.
- He took the money, Jim. - Raul gives you the sign...
...you get that guy out of there as soon as you can.
No, no, sorry, man. Chico, no!
Fuck!
- Paul! Hey. Hey, hey, you all right? - Hey, he went out the back. Get the car.
You just shot at the wrong motherfucker, motherfucker.
All units, all units,
It's 10-34, shots fired. One man down.
Suspect, Hispanic male, black T-shirt, blue jeans.
Undercover officer dressed like giant cell phone in foot pursuit.
Paul. Paul, where are you?
Stop in the name of the law.
- You see the spokes I got on this? - Police. I need the bike.
- Kiss my ass, cell phone man. - I said, police.
Yo, yo.
Scooby, get his ass. Come on. Get him, Scooby. Get him, get him.
I got him. I got him.
Oh, shit.
Heel, fake-ass Cujo.
All right, I got him.
Bad dog. Get off... Bad dog.
Damn it.
Shoot a fucking gun up here?
- Fuck. - Put the gun down, and slide it over here.
Fuck you doing firing a gun on a platform?
Hey!
Fuck!
Jimmy! Look out, Jimmy!
- Jimmy! - Hey.
Jim.
I'm doing Lance fucking Armstrong over here and you bullshitting on the ground.
Monroe and Hodges.
You know, there's a right way of doing police work.
There's a wrong way of doing it.
Then there's a way that you two idiots do it.
Thank you, captain.
What happened, Jimmy?
It just went south.
Right away.
The whole thing went south, Jack.
These new Mexican gangs, they got no style, they got no class.
- They shoot first and run second. - You should've coordinated with Anti-Gang.
You kidding? The guy says it's happening right now.
- We had to make a right-now move. - Anti-Gang and OCCB...
...have been sitting on that neighborhood. One call would have told you.
- Details never matter. - They don't return calls.
I've got waves of Mexican gang members moving in...
...bringing shipments of dope to that neighborhood from Canada.
The Mexicans fly the dope to Canada and bring it through Toronto.
Because of the heightened security along the southern border.
Really? That's how they get it done, huh?
- You looked confused about it. - I am.
That neighborhood is dead to me. Good job.
The good news, captain? We're fine.
The good news is you're suspended. Thirty days without pay.
What? Suspended without pay? What the fuck, Jack?
- Dead informant, neighborhood shot up... - You kidding?
- I got you two burning a sting. - We didn't...
I got nitwit here being filmed beating up a kid and then stealing his bike.
Nitwit here almost got his ass shot off. You beat up a kid?
- I needed the bike. - You can see it on YouTube if you want.
- Really? What, the YouTube? - Good job.
- How many hits I get? - Well, there's at least two:
The chief of police and the deputy chief.
Your suspensions are effective immediately. Get out.
Jack. Jack, you remember Ava, right?
- My daughter, Ava? Right? - I know her, Jimmy.
You came to her christening?
Guess what, she's gonna get married in six weeks.
I'm counting on this money to pay for the wedding.
- I don't care. - You don't care?
Do what you gotta do. Badges and guns, give them up.
- Jack. - Badges and guns, I said.
- Lf you're gonna make me beg, I'll beg. - Give them up.
You heard what I said, Jimmy.
Jesus Christ, Jack.
Nice. Nice.
- Captain, your heart, it's a icebox. - Get out.
- Should've ripped off that Gumby suit. - Maybe I was getting mauled by a pit bull.
Since when is it possible for a man to outrun a car?
- You are notthe Six Million Dollar Man. - I got hit by a Geo Metro.
It's gas on the right, brakes on the left, Miss Daisy.
Who gets hit by a Geo Metro? So don't blame me for this bullshit.
- Fuck you. - Fuck you.
You.
- You guys are fantastic. - Gifted, even.
To destroy a whole month of our undercover work in mere minutes...
...takes genius-level stupid.
Every player we got eyes on disappears...
...when you start your bang-bang shoot-shoot, huh?
Now, here's an idea. You check an assignment board.
You make a call. You do not scramble another cop's eggs.
- Ever. - I hate these calls at work.
I gotta take this. Excuse me. Hello?
- Hey, Jimmy, what's up? - Hey.
- It's me, Paul. - What's going on?
You see who's standing in front of us?
Mangold and Hunsaker.
You ever notice that Hunsaker smells like 10 Jamaicans slap-boxing in a elevator?
You gotta see their wives, man.
Hunsaker, his wife got three teeth and two of those is in her pocket.
- Oh! - She got one titty missing a nipple.
They made a movie about these two.
- Kevin Costner and Robert De Niro. - What was it called?
- The Unfuckables. - The Unfuckables. I love that movie.
I'm not gonna lie, I like the idea of Kevin Costner and Robert De Niro playing us.
- Little bit. - Mangold's wife is very unhappy.
She said he's all foreskin.
- Hey. - That's actually clever.
I'd love to talk about these guys but I gotta run.
- Cool stuff. Later. - I'll see you at the house.
I'm sorry, unrelated business. What were you saying?
You were right to kill that snitch.
And I'm glad you're okay.
You remember Sister Theresa who taught fifth grade?
Yeah, she was way too fine to be a nun.
She was cool, though.
Taught me how to throw a sick breaking slider.
Those putos are late with my Mercedes, homes.
Once that Mercedes is delivered to me...
...and I get that dead motherfucker's supply chain and bank accounts...
...we gonna expand our drug trade out of Brooklyn.
Take it across the whole East Coast.
And after that...
...we buying a farm team, Juan.
I'm sorry, Poh Boy.
Hector and Tapas stopped to get gas after driving all night.
And when they came out...
...the Mercedes was stolen.
You told me to hire those guys.
You told me the car would be safe in their hands.
I will deal with Tapas and Hector myself, right away.
Bless me, Father...
...for I'm about to sin.
Can I put the cherry on top of the car?
- No. - You just made me sad.
Shit.
I can't go in there and tell them I got suspended.
You don't have to.
It's my favorite gun, Jimmy. Take care of her.
Thanks, Paul.
- What are you doing with all these badges? - I lose them a lot.
Uncle Paul!
Hey, baby. What's up?
You're doing it, huh? You're doing it.
- Pam! Mama Bear. Looking good. - Hello, Paul.
- Hi, Daddy. - God, you look good, girl.
- You look good, girl. - Why, thank you, sir.
- I don't know who you are. Getting married. - I'm getting married.
Oh, man, I can't believe it. I gotta go. I'm sorry. Poof. Disappear.
But I love you like the fat kid love cake.
If it comes to it, I got it. Okay?
- See you later. - I love you.
- Okay.
Well, let's go. Tell me everything. I'm excited.
- Hey. Things going well? - Yeah.
- You excited? - Yes.
- Still getting married? - Yeah.
- Remember what we talked about. Okay? - He's gonna rain on the parade...
...like he always does. - Amazing band.
- What's the name of the band? - The Virgins.
They're a little edgy for the ceremony.
So we just need the deposit checks to send out to hold everything.
- Let me see the list. - It's pretty cheap, actually.
Yeah.
It's not much if you look at everything we're getting.
Cheap.
Jimmy, um...
...I know 48,000 seems like a lot, but...
...as dream weddings go, it's actually pretty modest.
And if you're okay with it...
...l'd really love to do this for Ava.
Do what, exactly, Roy?
Pay for the wedding, Jimmy.
Well, that's generous.
- Would you guys give us a second? - Daddy.
- Jimmy. - We just wanna talk.
- We hardly ever get to talk. - It's okay.
- Go get a drink at the bar. - Be nice.
Get your mom a drink. Look at her, stressed out.
- What are you drinking? - Scotch.
Rum? Nice.
- Rum on the rocks for your stepfather. - It's fine.
- And I'm just gonna have some water. - Okay, Daddy.
- You look beautiful. You really do. - Thank you.
You both look great.
You know I'm a cop, right?
That I work for the N.Y.P. D?
They give me a gun with bullets.
I gotta go out every day, chase bad guys, try and catch them.
Rapists, drug dealers, burglars.
But you know what the worst kind of bad guy is in my book?
It's somebody that would try to humiliate a father...
...in front of his own daughter.
His little girl.
- That it? - Yeah, that's it.
- It was good. - Thanks.
Listen, Jimmy. Ava's like a daughter to me.
She's not your daughter. She's my daughter.
Well, that's why I said "like a daughter."
And it's my job...
...to make sure she and Pam get anything they want.
I'm the second husband.
And $50,000 for Ava's happiness...
...that's nothing to me.
You know, that's a weekend in Vegas.
Now, if you can't afford to pay for your daughter's wedding...
...I will.
Because a deadbeat ex-husband...
...who never had to pay any alimony...
...you're welcome, by the way...
...and can't pay for his only daughter's wedding?
Ooh. To me? That's a bad guy.
So why don't you go ahead...
...and keep your little promise to the great city of New York.
Take that gun of yours...
...and shoot yourself, Serpico.
- Daddy? Can I talk to you? - Of course. Of course.
Excuse me, Roy.
Prick.
I don't have to have the big wedding if it's too much.
We can just have something small with a few friends.
Oh, baby, come here. Are you kidding me?
You are gonna have the wedding that you always wanted.
Big, all your friends, everybody.
Even your mom's gonna be happy.
Stop worrying, all right?
- Really? - Really.
- Are you sure? - Yes.
Because I really want a big wedding.
You're gonna get a big wedding. What'd I tell you?
Gotta stop listening to this knucklehead.
- Is he looking at me right now? - Mm-hm.
Fuck him.
What the fuck?
What the...?
Mother...
Hey, Big Al, how you doing? Jimmy Monroe.
Listen, I gotta sell the Pafko.
See if you can find a buyer for me, all right?
Good morning, Deborah.
Good morning, Paul.
Is this yours from last night?
You got me, Paul.
I was celebrating because I finally closed the ramen account.
I forgot.
Noodles every day, every hour of the day, and you just forgot?
Don't change the subject.
Did you drink this bottle of champagne by yourself?
No, I didn't. I had some help.
- Who? - Henry.
- Henry? - Henry.
- Our neighbor, next door? - Henry, the next door neighbor.
How he get involved in our celebration?
Our celebration? You weren't even here.
I'm doing that thing again, right?
- Paul. - But, baby, you my tenderoni.
- And I get insecure. - I know that I'm lucky to have you.
I love you and I married you because you're funny, and you're smart.
And I'm orally fixated.
That's going too far.
You have no need to be jealous of Henry or anybody else, okay?
I'm yours. You have to believe that.
You know you got me open like a research monkey?
- I don't know what that means. - Can I get some?
I love you, booby. Give me some of that.
Hi.
Hi, Henry.
I'm gonna go take a shower. I'll see you tonight.
You gonna be my eyes, little bear.
What's with the box?
Gotta sell the Pafko.
I heard that. I know that's right.
- I'm lying. What's a Pafko? - It's a baseball card.
Baseball card?
- Jim, listen, if you need 20 bucks, I got... - Asshole, I don't need 20 bucks.
I'm selling it to cover my daughter's wedding.
So how much is that thing worth?
Well, it's a gem mint 10 Andy Pafko.
In 1952, when the Topps gum company came out with the first baseball cards...
...Andy Pafko was number one, the first card in that set.
Kids would collect the cards, right?
Then they'd stack them up, wrap rubber bands around them.
My pop...
...never wrapped rubber bands around his cards.
Loved Andy Pafko.
Always took good care of him.
About four or five years ago, they sold one of these at auction for about $83,000.
Eighty-three thousand grand?
Yeah. My daughter's wedding's gonna cost 48,000.
You're about to come off like a fat rat in a cheese factory, Jim.
Yeah, that's if we get 80.
I'd rather chew my own arm off than to have that guy Roy...
...stand up and take credit for it all. - I hear you.
I'm gonna stay out here and I'm gonna call Debbie.
Oh, good.
Big Al.
Mr. Monroe.
- Is that it? Is that the Pafko? - Yeah. That's it.
Just got off the phone with a buyer and he's gotta have it.
And I just have to appraise it. Can I take it out?
- You're talking about the card, right? - For the next four weeks, fuck this job.
I'm coming home to you. It's gonna be me and you. We gonna get freaky.
Careful with the edge. You're not gonna take it out...
- Open up the register. Open it. - But l...
Dave. You want me to grab the cards?
Put your mask back on.
He's calling me Dave because it's not my real name.
Just grab anything that looks old. He pays big for old shit like this.
Paul. Paul.
- Paul. Jesus. - I just wanna get you pregnant.
You know, my daughter come out, she be like 11 pounds, 20 ounces.
You know, running around the house with the doo-doo Pamper on.
- This guy's got a gun. - What?
I'm a cop.
- Ah! - Now I'm a cop.
Now, I need to see you. I just wanna be home with you. You know?
I'll start everything right now, you know?
Hey!
- Hey! - Jimmy, I'm on the phone.
Mr. Monroe...
...we are the police. We're here to help.
Now, you've been the victim of a crime, do you understand?
I don't have time for this shit.
Whoa. Whoa, guy.
Based on the emotional state, how should we proceed? What do you think?
We get him a psych evaluation. We're gonna take you to Bellevue...
...just to make sure you're okay.
Now, for the record...
...how long, actually, have you been a...
...hobbyist?
Now, were there any identifying marks on the suspects?
Nope.
Okay, seven robberies, all with similar M.O.s.
All in Queens, five in Far Rockaway.
It just got me to thinking maybe our guy...
...got his tattoo from a local parlor in the neighborhood.
Now, here comes the genius. Check it out. Bust it, it might blind you.
This is the stuff my mother used to tell her friends about.
"My son is a genius. My son is a genius. He's a genius."
I called all the local parlors, using the robberies as a radius...
...and I think I got one guy that says he might have given somebody...
...a wiener dog surfer tattoo on his forearm.
Ah! What the fuck, man?
It's a cartoon dog surfing on his forearm.
Why don't you tell my partner who Dave is...
...before he draws two unicorns fucking on your face.
- Give it up. - Dave owes me money.
Says he's gonna pay after he hits this house tonight.
He's been casing one on the beach. In Rockaway.
That's all I know, man. That's all I know.
It just keeps ringing and ringing and ringing. I mean, where the hell is she?
Just relax.
Four fifteen in the morning and she doesn't pick up?
Ask any cop, his wife is sleeping with the phone next to the pillow...
...just in case something happens. She's probably with that Henry.
I am not doing this shit again.
Jesus.
- Who's this Henry guy? - He's our neighbor.
Every morning when Debbie takes the trash out...
...this Henry guy happens to take his trash out.
"Oh, Debbie, Debbie, Debbie, you look wonderful.
How about you come over.
Really? He's working all night?"
"Why don't you come over around 11.
While he's putting his life on the line, I could dickey-do you from behind."
- Dickey-do? - Fucking monocle-wearing motherfucker.
- Know what? I'm calling Debbie. - Give me that. Give me the phone.
- Give it back, Jim. Give me my phone. - I'm not giving it back.
Sick of this paranoid, "My wife is fucking around on me" bullshit.
- It's driving me fucking crazy. - I promise I won't call her.
If you're not gonna call, then you don't need the phone, do you?
- Give me my phone, Jim. - I'm not gonna... Man, what...?
Get off. I swear to God...
- You better get off of me. - Give me the phone.
- Give me my phone. - Head down, I said.
Get your head... What, you happy now?
Jesus Christ. You're a fucking child.
Oh, man.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
- What? What's going on? - Yo, what is that? Look at this.
- Unbelievable. - Let me see.
They're on the roof. What the fuck is that?
That's called parkour.
It's a French martial art to get you around and over stuff.
What are you, Wikipedia?
- Got sand in the binoculars. - That's because you put it on my face.
We lost him now. Wait a minute.
- Oh, man. - What?
- Are you kidding me? - What?
He's taking a shit in the house. Look. Upstairs. Where the light is.
Oh, shit. He's taking a shit in the house.
What kind of guy takes a shit in the same house that he's robbing?
I don't know. What kind of guy takes a shit in a high-pressure situation like this?
I'm not shitting nowhere except for my house.
I will pinch it in my ass for hours before I let it go.
But when I let it go, here, she blows.
Here, she blows. The big brown shark is gonna come.
I set records with my shit turds.
I move my bowels all over my toilet.
All over my bathroom, I'm moving bowels.
I shit so hard sometimes...
...people next door be like, "Warriors, come out and play."
Oh, God.
- What? - We got a problem.
Somebody's coming home. Come on.
"All your base are belong to us"? What is that?
These Japanese guys made a video game. They don't know how to speak English.
- That is really, really weird. - Hey. Ma'am.
- What? - N.Y.P.D. Can you come here a minute?
What's going on? Why are we crouched down?
I'm Detective Hodges, this is Detective Monroe.
- Somebody broke into your house. - What?
He's in there. What we need you to do is take your son...
...go across the street to your neighbor's, and wait for us to get you, all right?
I'm not going anywhere. I'm gonna go take care of the son of a... B... . Myself.
Whoa, ma'am. I need you to put that gun on the deck right now.
No. F that. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm telling you, somebody's stealing my stuff, I've worked too G. D. Hard.
- You gonna smoke somebody, Mom? - F'ing A right I am.
- Ma'am, just please, put the gun down. - No F'ing way. I know my rights.
Lady. Put the F'ing gun down on the ground right now...
...take your son across the F'ing street to your neighbor's house...
...and stay there until we come and get you.
Jesus C.
You better not screw up any of my furniture. It's custom-made Italian.
Jimmy!
Shit.
Did you just fall down the stairs?
- No. - Shoot him, Jimmy.
- He rubbing my titty. - Put it down.
- I don't mean to. It's just nervous energy. - Hold still, Paul.
Just tell Debbie that I love her.
- Who's Debbie? - She's my old lady.
- Take your hand off his breast. - Kill him, Jimmy.
Let him go, or the next one goes right through your head.
- Drop the gun on the floor. - No. No.
It's brand-new zebrawood, asshole.
Give it to me.
Here. Fucking pussies.
Motherfuckers. What do you think a doormat is for?
Pigs.
Poh Boy. Poh Boy.
We can get the car back, man.
Shh.
Juan.
The contents of the Mercedes are very, very important to me.
Five grand to anyone who brings me that car.
Wow, man. Holy shit. Can you believe that?
That girl almost blew my head off. Feel my pulse, man.
That was crazy. Crazy.
You were there. That happened.
Shut up. I'm on the phone.
All right. I'll be quiet. Hey.
I'm craving cheese right now. Could we stop, get some cheese?
Hey, turd burglar, all I wanna hear is where my baseball card is.
Where my partner's gun is.
- Your what? - My baseball card.
Why you talking to me about baseball cards?
Holy shit. Dude, I just Tasered you, man. Oh-ho!
Man. Hey, did you shit your pants when you got Tasered?
Because I Tasered myself, like, five times one night, I didn't shit my pants at all.
I had a little turtle head.
Like that, man. It wasn't what I thought it was gonna be.
- Machine again. - Who you trying to call? Your lady?
- Six o'clock. She's probably asleep. - Maybe she's banging another guy...
...and she doesn't wanna pick up the phone.
Dude, just sit the fuck back there and shut up.
Hey, you shut up. Hey. Can I get her number?
Oh, psych. I already got it.
You keep obsessing about this thing, it's gonna drive you crazy.
I know, I know. But he keep on saying stuff.
Maybe your wife suffers from that CCD disorder I saw on the news.
- What's CCD? - Cock-Craving Disorder.
It's where they crave the cock. Any cock, every cock.
She's probably in the middle of a D.P. Right now.
- Double penetration. - What?
He said "double penetration."
- Shut up. - You wanna shoot me?
- I'll shoot you in the face. - Shoot you in the face.
What? Shut the f... Shut up.
- Just shut up. - Shut up.
Stop repeating me.
Stop repeating...
Shut up, man. You see what he's doing, Jim?
Shut up.
Jim, do you see what he's doing?
- He's trying to live here rent-free. - Don't tap your head with a gun.
- Shut up. - Okay.
- Just shut up. - Shut up.
Man, don't be saying what I say.
- Shut your mouth. - Shut your mouth.
- Not a peep. - Not a peep.
- Duck season. - Rabbit season.
- Come on. - You see what I'm saying, Jim?
- Come on, Jim. - Throw out this motherfuck...
Let's all calm down here.
You're angry, you're tired. I'm going to jail anyway, so let's just all chill out, okay?
Knock, knock.
Jim, don't do it.
Don't do it.
- Lf you value our partnership, don't do it. - Do it.
- Been putting it in together for nine years. - Do it.
- Don't do it, Jim. - Do it.
- Jim, don't do it, Jim. - Do it. Do it.
Who's there?
- Why'd you do it, Jim? Why? - Thank you.
Why? To humiliate me?
- Orange. - For what?
No. No. Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
No. No.
No, no, no.
Hell, no.
No. No.
I refu... No. No.
Orange who, damn it?
Orange you pissed your wife's taking it in the ass from another guy?
I'm gonna kill you, mother...
You're gonna tell us where my baseball card is.
- And where my gun is. - That's so fucking gangster.
That's it. That's it.
Get out, you witty-bitty bing-bong freak.
Witty-bitty bing-bong ass out of the car.
- Ow! - You try to run...
...l'll shoot you in the ass.
This is police brutality.
Not yet.
- What are you doing? - All right. Last chance.
- Tell me where my baseball card is. - Okay. Okay.
Your baseball card, it's...
It's in Paul's wife's pussy.
- Let's get him, Jim. - At least we tried, right?
- Been nice knowing you. - You run your mouth too much.
- Jim, you see him doing...?
What's the fastest a human being can run?
I don't know, but let's go for the record.
Hang on.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Shit. Oh, my dick, my balls!
Oh, Mommy.
What a rush.
You guys are fun, man.
You wanna go on the Cyclone next?
I'm kidding. I'm putting on a brave face. I don't want to do that again.
I sold your gun and card for a few eight balls...
...and some mescaline and some ecstasy and...
You sold my baseball card for drugs?
- Yes. - What's your dealer's name?
- I don't know. I don't know his name. - He's nickel-and-diming us.
How you think he gonna do on the BQE, Jim?
Not good. Let's take him for a drag.
No, no, no. I don't know him. Okay?
He's like el fantasma. He's a ghost. You'll never see him.
Give me his name.
Okay, come on, guys. I don't know his name, okay?
- He uses different kids every time... - His name!
Nice.
Poh Boy.
He goes by the name Poh Boy.
Hey, fellas. Beautiful day, huh?
Believe this shit? Fuck you, homes. You trespassing.
You come straight out of a comic book.
Somebody didn't get enough love as a child.
This'll make you feel warm and fuzzy.
I ain't some kid you're gonna just come shove off a bike, pig.
- Wow, you saw that? - That's right, cell phone bitch.
You know how many hits I got?
That many hits. Now, if you don't start respecting 5-0...
...you gonna make me get my hit count up.
We wanna know where Poh Boy is.
Don't do it, homes. Don't fucking do it.
- Who? - You know where Poh Boy is?
- He's French. - Oh.
Well, Pierre, fee-fee, foo-foo, volly froo.
Dijon mustard, motherfucker.
We going in. Come on.
Jesus.
Oh, he got your card.
You guys like my diamond vault, right?
And baseball is played on a diamond. Get it?
So who was it that named you after the sandwich?
Your mom or your dad?
How can I be of service to you, officers?
I want my baseball card.
- What card might that be? - Don't play cute with us.
And don't you raise your voice in my house.
Because if such a card exists, then...
...you know, it might easily get destroyed.
- So you do have it. - I ain't say that.
What if someone did?
Are we still playing what-ifs?
All right, what if you had to make some sort of deal to get it back?
What if we arrest your ass?
What if your house caught on fire?
What if your Andy Pafko card...
...accidentally falls into a running garbage disposal?
I think I just had the scariest "what if," homes.
What kind of deal you talking about?
Deal. Man. Let's call it a favor.
- Nothing illegal. - No.
No, someone stole my vehicle, officer.
This car has tremendous sentimental value to me.
All I want is for you to do what cops are supposed to do...
...and find my fucking car.
- So the car for the card. - If you could get me my car back...
...then perhaps Señor Pafko makes his way back to you.
- And safe at home. - Oh, fuck this.
Give us the card, or I'm gonna go berserk in this motherfucker.
Watch this, man. Boys.
You like that? Yeah, we practiced that shit for an hour.
So shoot. Go ahead. You might get me.
So...
...what kind of car are we talking about?
Those the two from the phone store?
Calculated risk, baby brother. I need that car.
So you follow them.
You know the bonobo chimpanzee...
...is the only non-human primate that has oral sex?
Where do you find the time to watch the Animal Planet?
I'm with you 25 hours a day.
I have to feed this. I have to feed this, okay?
Well, you're a compendium of fucking useless information.
Well, I don't wanna look at reality TV because that's the bowels of Hollywood.
I fucking hate reality TV. You're right, it fucking blows.
And I like to see chimpanzees getting head.
You got a point.
Here we go.
So this guy's the biggest car thief in Brooklyn.
Let's be careful.
You just scratched my ride.
- What the hell are you doing, Tommy? - Driving, bitch.
- Get out the car. - Because I'm black?
- No, because you're 10. - Eleven.
- Get out. - I was wearing my seat belt.
Get out of the car, you little repeat offender.
Fuck.
We need to know about the Mercedes that was stolen a couple of nights ago...
...in the back of the mini-mart.
I ain't telling you shit. And you can't do shit. Because I'm a minor.
Fuck you too, Professor X-looking motherfucker.
You are an angry young man.
- Messing with my business, bitch. - Whose car is this?
- Your mama's. - You mother...
- What? - You know, I will smack the black off you.
- You can't do anything to me. - Tell us about the stolen Mercedes Benz.
- I'm not telling you nothing. - You tell me something or...
Motherfucker.
I told you be careful.
Paul, did you just punch a little child?
There's things you don't know about me. Fuck a little kid up if he kick me in the dick.
Come on. Let's go. I'm gonna throw you in the river.
- Sick of this. Let's go. - Tell us about the stolen car.
- Fuck you. - I hope your ass could swim.
Better yet...
...I should take you home and tell your mom what you've been up to.
- No. She'll beat my ass. - Tell me about the Mercedes.
It wasn't me. But I know the guys who stole it. They sold it to a lawyer.
- You all right? - Ouch.
- Give me the name. - Kapanowski. Something crazy.
He's Russian. I can get you the address. Just don't take me home.
Get that address.
I'm 11 and I got a better phone than you.
Broke-ass bitch. Yo.
Whoa. Tongues are cut out.
Yeah, that's a big thing with the Latin gangs.
They like to remove the tongues so you can't repent your sins...
...to Jesus in the afterlife.
So, what are these boys? Salvadoran? Honduran?
Rudels. That makes them Mexican nationals.
Intricate stitching, higher heel, skin usually of an endangered species.
- In this case, goddamn it, sea turtle. - How the hell do you know that?
I know boots.
- Those are great. - Thank you.
I might be thinking about getting a pair.
- No, sir. These boots would wear you. - You don't mean that.
Let me ask you a question, cop-to-cop.
What size do you think those are? I'm a 10.
You might wanna...
Never wear a dead man's boots.
That is a world of bad luck you do not want a part of.
Sorry. And thank you.
So, maybe we should find out what got these hombres in so much hot salsa.
Gentlemen.
Still don't understand how he got the rooster to play the piano.
He just puts a little chicken feed on the keys that he wants the chicken to peck...
...so he can play a song.
- It's not that complicated. - I'm gonna be the bad guy.
No, you're not. You fucked up your whole performance last time.
Bullshit. I was totally believable.
- I've been working on my acting. - That's not acting.
Homage.
- I'm playing the bad guy. - You ain't.
No. You ain't.
Jimmy, you sucker-punching piece of shit.
What are you doing? No, please, don't. No. No. No.
Hey, are you a lawyer? Hey. Are you a lawyer?
Get over here!
- You, come here. - Don't kill me. No, no!
Take her, please. Take her.
No. She's more valuable. She won't scream.
- Drop the gun. - Put that gun down, copper.
- I am a hostage negotiator. I'm a police. - Put it down.
Please, citizens, stand away from that criminal.
- Not a step further, copper. - Easy, big fella.
Easy.
- Easy. - Easy, big fellow.
- We don't wanna... Easy. - Easy, big...
- Shut up. - Easy. Simmer down. Simmer down...
I killed 11 people today. I don't care. I'll kill more.
Eleven people? I am an attorney, I can represent you. I have card.
Don't hurt nobody. We don't wanna hurt nobody. Easy, big fella.
- Where's the car keys? - Car keys?
Right. I need the car. We're getting out of here.
- Easy, easy, easy. - No car. No car. You have my wife.
Go get the car keys!
I'm your friend. Listen. I'm your friend.
- You are in direct violation of code five. - What are you doing?
I'm doing Robocop. You need to stay in character.
- Would you come on. - You need to stay in character.
- Outside. Outside. - Just...
You're a terrible police officer. You know that?
- Where's your car? - In the garage. On the side. In the garage.
- All right. I'm taking the dame with me. - Hey, man. Hey, man, take me.
Take me, man. Take my gun.
I feel your pain, bro. Me. I feel your pain.
- All right. I'm taking the cop with me. - Okay.
That is what I'm talking about. Meryl motherfucking Streep, baby.
- Totally in character, totally believable. - You were terrible.
Eleven people? You killed 11 people today? And why did you smack me?
I was in the moment...
...and the moment said smack you. - You can't be all the time trying to slap...
Jesus Christ!
- Who the fuck are these guys? - It's the dude from the store!
What the...?
Oh, the hell with this shit!
What the...?
A goddamn cemetery? Well, that's just fucking great, Paul. Really.
All we gotta do now is just hop out of the car...
...and we can hop in a fucking grave. - Hop.
Hold the car still.
- Let them have it, baby. - Shit.
Now's a good time to do something.
Yeah.
- This is a pretty goddamn popular car. - Let's find out why.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
Are you all right?
Hold on.
Look. Police. Paul. Police.
- Paul. "Jimmy." - "Jimmy"?
Gabriela.
Grabiela?
Gabriela.
Let's just get her to a washroom.
- It's gonna be okay. - It's okay. It's okay.
You lose the Mercedes.
You lose the girl.
And you get Juan killed. My baby brother.
What?
Five grand's not enough, man? What, I gotta up it?
Fucking 20 Gs.
Those putos go anywhere with that girl...
...man, I wanna know.
I'll take a order of spicy carrots and some guacamole.
What? How's me eating gonna hurt?
Chimichinga with shredded beef.
No food, Manuel. I need your help over here with something, all right?
Of course, Jimmy.
- Spicy food. - It's not just for me, it's for the table.
Listen, Manuel...
Manuel, this is Gabriolo. Gabarolo. Gabarolo.
And she's in trouble.
We need you to interpret her story and let her know we're here to help.
But we need to know what happened to her.
Okay. All right.
She's really scared.
We need to talk somewhere private. Now.
- All right. - Yeah, let's go.
Yes. Well, l...
Got something. Got something, Ray. It's really big.
I am about to seriously blow you...
...away. - Right, well, I appreciate it very much.
All right. Bye.
- I'm sorry, you were saying something. - Got a ballistics match.
Uh-huh.
Now, from the gun found on the dead banger at the cemetery.
- Now, that gun. - Look at that.
- This gun... - That's a gun.
It's in a bag. - Is registered to none other...
...than Detective Paul... - Hodges.
Damn. How did you know? You been in the bathroom all day.
Look what I have, a picture of the crazy clown right here.
Okay. Gabriela was the mistress of one of Mexico's biggest drug dealers.
- The one who got killed? - She went to the police...
...and they tried to kill her in her home.
They killed her sister.
Her brother, he paid a man to get her across the border.
When she was going across, that coyote sold her out.
Some men put her in a plane.
Then they put her in the trunk in a car for two days.
And you know the rest.
I'll be right back.
Get me a shirt, will you?
So my daughter's getting married.
It's a guy named Ronald.
He's nice to her, he's nice to my daughter.
When my daughter was born, the first thing that she did, the moment she was born...
...she winked at me. Can you imagine that?
A little infant doing that?
She was trying to tell me everything was gonna be all right.
Always made it easy for me. Even in divorce.
Always made it easy. Easy-going kid.
Really...
I just want her to be happy, that's all.
Her mother thinks I'm a jerk-off. She hates me.
That's why I gotta get this card back.
You know, I just gotta...
One time, I gotta do the right thing...
...and give my daughter this wedding that she wants.
And then I won't look like such a jerk.
You know what I mean?
Jimmy.
Okay.
How many guns did you get?
This is the hidden nanny cam that I had in my bedroom.
And I can't watch what's on here so I need you to press play.
No.
No fucking way.
- Come on, Jimmy. - I am not looking at that.
You are insane, Paul.
You have a wife in that house that loves you.
And you put a camera in her bedroom. You have actually gone nuts.
But I'll tell you something right now, I'm not looking at it.
No.
- Please? - No.
Please?
Don't show me the bear.
Hey, honey. Mind your business back there, all right?
- You don't even know what she said. - Neither do you. Put the fucking bear down.
You know what she said?
She said, "Please, Jimbo.
Please look at what's on there, on this tape.
My master's hurting so bad in his heart.
- Please?" - You've lost your mind.
You are insane.
I'm gonna regret this, I know it.
- There's nothing on here. - Yes.
- Yes. Yes, you mother... - Here.
Take your bear, take your bear. Put it in the bag.
- Can we go now? - Yeah.
Yeah. Hey, thanks a lot, buddy. Okay.
That was my guy at the FBI.
He says he can help, but he can't be here for another 24 hours.
So until then, we watch the girl and wait.
So I guess I just kiss my card goodbye, huh?
- Jimmy, forget about the card for now. - Think I'm gonna forget Ava's wedding?
You know I want Ava to have the wedding that she wants. But right now...
...my focus is on keeping Gabriela alive. - Think I'm not?
Not when every word coming out of your mouth is, "My card, my card, my card."
Jimmy, we're not done yet.
- Yeah. - Jimmy, it's Hunsak...
- It's Barry Mangold. I'm here too, brother. - Nice. You know what time it is?
Listen, we found a gun on a known murderer.
Way to go, Sherlocks.
It's registered to your partner. We know Paul's dirty.
Meet us at the Ladder in 20 minutes.
Yeah.
All right.
Going after the card, aren't you?
- I'm not gonna do this with you now, Paul. - Chrissakes, Jim.
Ava will be just as happy if you let Roy and Pam pay for the wedding.
- Just stay here and watch the girl. - What if Poh Boy put a tail on you?
I'm not gonna let you jeopardize Gabriela's safety.
You stay here or you stay away.
- Don't know what you're talking about, Paul. - Hey, Jim.
- He came. - He had to.
Up past your bedtime, huh, Mangold?
- Zing. - All right. Thanks for coming, Jimmy.
We need your help on something.
I need to know if you're aware...
...that your partner's piece was used on a hit of a Mexican national.
He's playing coy.
Paul's gun was found...
...in the dead hand of one Juan Diaz.
Juan was the shooter from the cell phone store, you may remember.
- Got himself an older brother. - Poh Boy.
Which is fun to say.
His name is Poh Boy and he's looking to expand his drug business.
He's looking for any help he can get.
Including cops.
Just wanna know if you're aware of the situation...
...that your partner has gotten you into.
Help us help you. Think of us like your diary.
You guys are just out here playing cops and robbers, aren't you?
Got your guns, your badges...
...your cute little boots.
But really you don't have any idea what's going on.
If you ever try to play me against my partner again, I will fuck you up.
You first.
You should know better.
Hi.
I think I should tell you something.
This is real nice, but nothing is gonna happen between us.
See, I'm married. And I love her.
I have feelings for you too.
Not that I don't want anything to happen between us.
I think you're beautiful and sexy.
And you probably even got a bit of a nasty streak when it comes to the bang-bang.
Bang-bang.
Yeah. But nothing is gonna happen.
I hope you can respect that.
Hey. Hey, wait a minute. What? What?
I didn't mean anything about the whole bang-bang thing.
No, I can't get in the shower with you.
You're getting in the shower.
Don't even look at me like that.
You just a bear. Shut the fuck up.
No.
No. No, Debbie, no.
No, Debbie, no.
Diaz.
Diaz. D-l-A...
Yeah, okay. That's for you, Ali.
Okay, thank you.
Thanks, buddy. Be safe. Take care of yourself.
Hello? Hello?
Hey, hello? Yeah? I'm sorry, did I wake you up?
Hi, I'm calling about the Diaz funeral.
Yes, Juan Diaz. That's right, Juan Diaz.
What time is that? What time is that?
Okay, 2:30, thank you. Thank you.
I'm so sorry I woke you up. Okay, have a good night. Sweet dreams.
Ali, I'll see you. Stay out of trouble.
It's just me. Where's the girl?
She's in the shower.
Have you been crying?
I saw the nanny cam.
I wish you didn't have to see that.
I couldn't let you look at it, that's all.
I've been where you are.
Roy?
Yeah.
Come here, man.
- Look like you need a hug. - Whoa, you really read that one wrong.
- It's just that I'm vulnerable. - How long's she been in there?
I don't know. Does this mean that we're not broken up anymore?
What are you, in the fifth grade? You're my partner.
How long's she been in here? Hey. Hey, yo, open up. I gotta go.
Gabriela, just put a towel on, okay? I'm just gonna... I gotta take a...
Oh, man. What the fuck? You're a great cop. You are a great cop.
- I'm supposed to be holding her hand? - You don't let her get out the window.
You didn't hear that? You fall asleep on the bed, did you?
No. No.
Here, you speak Spanish.
- I know what peligro means. - What's it mean?
It's Puerto Rican for penguin. I knew that.
What? We got...
Whoa.
That's something...
...that you put in a computer. - In a computer.
That banger that got killed in the cemetery when his car went in the grave?
- Poh Boy's little brother. - So?
So Mangold and Hunsaker put them together.
They think I'm a dirty cop because the shit bandit gave Poh Boy my gun? That blows.
Hey.
Police. We need to use your computer.
Well, I don't know. I'm just a night manager...
...and for something like that, I'd probably have to call...
...and get an okay from the general manager on that.
Translate this, put your GED to work, okay? Thank you. How you doing?
- What do you do? - Housekeeping.
She's an hourly housekeeper. Hourly-rate housekeeper.
- Hey, Jim, check this out. - What?
Now I know I'm not bugging.
Looks like her boyfriend's bank accounts and suppliers.
This could make Poh Boy drug king of New York.
Boom, bam, boom.
Seven hundred and fifty million dollars. Or 7 billion pesos. Either way...
Know what I'm thinking? Poh Boy never wanted Gabriela.
- He wanted this flash drive. - Yes, he did.
She's very afraid for you.
"I have put you in danger. You should not die because of me.
Thank you for your help. You were sweet like chocolate."
I think she's talking...
...to you.
Okay. I got an APB out on Gabriela.
We got one hour while Poh Boy's at his brother's funeral...
...to break into his house and get my card. How?
- You're not very chatty, Darnell. - Will you shut the fuck up?
I'm just, like, a social butterfly by nature, you know?
Hey.
Do you wanna be my jail cell BFF, without the forced rape?
Look, man. Can't you see that I'm dealing with some real deep shit?
- Can't you see I'm trying to reach...? - Hey, guard.
Hey, guard. You know?
- Guard. - Guard.
- Back the f... - Back the f...
- Hey... - Hey...
You fucking with me?
Are you fucking...?
Back the fuck up, l...
I will jump on the other side and...
You trying to...?
Oh, yeah. This motherfucker.
Yeah. That's, like, one of the things I like to do.
I like to play the oboe too. And I do parkour.
That's a couple fun facts about me. You know what I mean?
Talk to me. Tell me. I wanna know you.
Come on, man. I wanna get inside of you, Darnell.
What's your vibe? What do you do? What do you do, man?
I wanna know about you.
Like, I wanna know your thing, you know?
What's up with you? Tell me.
- I knit sweaters. - What?
- No way. - Yeah.
- Come on. - Yeah, come on, I knit sweaters.
- No, you can't. - Yeah, I can.
- No, you can't. - Yes, I can.
- No, you can't. - Yeah, I do, man.
I could knit the fuck out of a big, nice sweater.
Hey, nutjob.
Someone just paid your bail.
- Yeah? - Who the fuck would pay his bail?
Poopsie. The window you're gonna break in in this house is on the second floor.
Yeah, second-story window. No problem.
We're only gonna have about 30 to 40 minutes with the house empty.
I need you to get in there and get up to the second floor where his diamond vault is.
Probably where he keeps the card.
It's gonna be easier than giving Paul's wife an ATM.
Ass to mouth.
He said ass to mouth.
Yo, that shit's not funny, man.
- His wife really is cheating on him. - Wait, what?
- No. - Yeah, yeah.
No.
No. Why are women like that?
Oh! I feel terrible now.
How are you gonna deal with this, Paul, emotionally?
I don't know. I'm not sure.
Hey.
Don't you give up on love, Paul, you hear me?
- Don't you give up on love. Okay? - I almost gave up.
- Don't give up. - No, I ain't giving up.
- Because love inspires. You know? - Yes, it do. Damn.
- And you're full of love. You'll be fine. - Love.
- Full of it. - You are.
- Got a whole bag of it. Yeah. - I can see that.
Yeah, you know something, man? David?
What you just said to me moved me, man. It was heavy stuff.
- You know where I came up with that? - Where?
- When I was doing the thing that I love. - Taking a shit in somebody's car?
- Jim, come on. - What?
When I was watching sunsets on Rockaway Beach.
It's my favorite thing. Most beautiful thing you've ever seen.
- I love sunsets. - No, you don't.
- Yes, I do. - No, you don't.
- Wanna come with sometime? Seriously? - Yes.
Hey, hey, hey. Sit back.
Hey.
What?
- What? - Yeah, yeah.
- Right? Right? - What?
Off you go.
More secrets.
- Is he gonna do more of that parkour stuff? - He's a pro.
- My man. Told you. You saw that? - Hey, Paul.
Oh, shit.
No!
My card.
- Oh, shit. He ain't moving. - Hop in there and check his pulse.
I'm not hopping in there and doing nothing.
- You're not gonna help? - It was your baseball card.
He was your friend. You were making out in the car.
But that don't mean I need to hop over there.
You're no help at all, Paul, really.
- I can't feel a pulse. - Are you doing it right?
- Yes, I'm doing it right. He must be dead. - He can't be dead.
- Goddamn it. I was counting on this kid. - He looks like a little angel.
What are we gonna do with him?
- Let's just throw him in a Dumpster. - What? No.
He's not a piece of trash that you just throw in a Dumpster. He was my friend.
- Be right back. - Where are you going?
- To get my card. - Are you crazy?
We gotta get out of here before these people get back...
...and we still gotta find Gabriela.
We got 20 minutes. I'll be in and out. Give me a boost.
Boost? With all due respect, Jimmy, fuck no.
Just push my feet up with your hands.
- What? - I'm gonna stand on your head.
Just stand still, all right?
Don't step on my head! You stepped on my forehead, Jimmy.
Ta-da!
Ta-da, my ass. You better get that card and let's get out of here before they come back.
Talk.
We got the girl.
She was hiding at her uncle's house.
It's a rock.
Oh, boy.
- I'm gonna get a rubber. - Okay.
Hi, Paul.
I found your little camera. Is this what you wanted, huh?
Is this what you wanted? Remember my gay cousin, Eric?
Hi. How are you?
That's her gay cousin.
Fuck you, Paul. How can you not trust me?
Trust her, buster.
That's her gay cousin.
- All I do is sit here and worry about you. - Worry.
And this is what you do? I love you.
That is her gay cousin!
Yes. That's her gay cousin. Look, motherfucker, look.
That's her gay cousin. That's her gay cousin. You motherfuck...
Fuck.
- Paul, not now. - Jimmy. Jimmy, guess what?
She didn't do it. She didn't cheat. Debbie did not cheat.
- That was her cousin. - That's great, buddy.
It was a goof. Oh, man, it was their...
...fuck-you-for-putting-the- camera-in-the-room thing.
I just had to watch longer.
Good, because you know what else you should be watching?
- What's that? - The whole Mexican army...
...is dragging Gabriela in through the fucking garage.
- Jim. I'm coming to get you. - No, no, no. Stay where you are.
- I'll text you. - All right.
We got a fighter, man.
Oh.
Okay.
You know, I've been thinking. Uh-huh.
Poh Boy? We only have his dead brother as a connection to the killings.
You know, we don't actually have anything that implicates Poh Boy directly.
More importantly, nothing that ties Jimmy and Paul to Poh Boy.
- That's the balls. - Why don't we go directly to the source.
Why don't we put the squeeze on this Poh Boy son of a bitch...
...until he makes us some truth juice, huh?
- Make us some what? - Not from concentrate.
- Let's go make us some truth juice. - Let's do it.
She's got moxie.
Andy Pafko.
- What you want, twat? - Come on, papi chulo.
Is that any way to talk to baseball legend Andy Pafko, Mr. Dickhead?
That's chicken head, vato.
You sure?
The number you have reached is not in service. Bye-bye, now.
Then I guess I gotta take this crucifix to the Federales, then.
- You bring it to me or she dies. - Fuck you.
You come to us. One hour, under the Pulaski Bridge, bring the girl and the card.
- One hour. - Put the girl on the...
They got what I want.
They want me to meet them under the Pulaski Bridge.
You and your best shooters stay with me. Everyone else goes to the bridge.
Okay, when those dicks show up, you kill them.
And you bring me that crucifix.
Oh, shit.
Did you remember to take your pills?
Yes. Thank you.
Hey, do you think you'll still come to that jazz thing later?
I don't.
Shit.
What the...?
Wanna get some Indian food after this?
I'm still full from all that cheese.
- What the fuck are you guys doing here? - What are you doing here?
- What did we walk into? - How's he doing?
- Ray? - I think it went through.
- Pressure on it, Ray. - How you doing?
- Where's the car? - Over there.
- Hey, you think you can make it there? - No, I will not leave him.
Listen to me, man. You gotta go call this in or else he ain't gonna make it.
He's afraid of getting shot.
- Don't let me get shot. - I'm not gonna let you get shot. Be brave.
- Okay, count for me. - One. Two. Three.
Go.
Officer down. All patrols, respond.
Ow!
Oh, come on.
Yo, you got my shoe?
Come on. You two, take upstairs.
Kill anything that tries to get in.
Stay low, stay low.
Yo.
I'm going in. In one, two, three.
- Did you get him? - His head's not there. Does that count?
Yeah.
- Yoo-hoo! - Ah!
Hey. Hey!
Jim, I just got shot.
I hear you whispering sweet nothings to each other.
You better not be blowing each other in my house.
We're not, you prick.
Hey, the only thing keeping you guys here is the girl.
And I just want my flash drive. So, what do you say we trade, huh?
You ready?
I'm ready. Let's go be great.
Do you even listen to yourself sometimes?
- You trespassing, detectives. - Call 911.
Pretty fast, homes.
Yeah, but I could still kill the fuck out of her before they put me in bracelets.
Don't kill the fuck out of nobody. Just let her go.
You know, you two putos want her to keep this pretty face...
...you better bring my fucking flash drive.
I don't believe this motherfucker. He's a nincompoop.
You're a nincompoop. You know that?
Send the girl over here, we give you the flash drive, everybody go home happy.
Oh, man, you think I'm gonna give up a hostage, homes?
Me and this bitch are gonna go for a little ride.
All right? You get all these pigs out of here and get a car waiting for me out front.
I'm gonna bust your fucking head open.
You know how tired we are from killing all your friends?
You should have quit while you was ahead, homey.
- You got him? - Yeah, I got him.
Y'all ain't gonna shoot me.
On three.
Man, you ain't gonna shoot nobody, man.
That's right, you ain't got the fucking balls.
That's one, two, shoot on three? Or one, two, three, then shoot?
- One, two, three, then shoot. - There you go getting mad.
- Always one, two, three, then shoot. - I'm not good at math.
- Come on, man. - Are you ready?
- Yes. - One.
Motherfucker.
Careful, you guys.
It's all right, kid. They know what they're doing.
Want me to ride with you in case you die?
I want you to stay here and finish the job.
Hey, Barry.
Those boots fit you well.
It's okay. You're "safe-o."
She has all of it. She has everything you need.
No goodbye kiss for "Jimmy," huh?
- Where are you going? - To get my card.
Hey. Detectives. Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Fucking shit.
You got some nerve, you two.
Captain...
Suspended but still backing up Mangold and Hunsaker on their investigation?
- No. I mean, well, we... - Yeah, Mangold told me all about it.
- He did? - Captain, we were...
No, no, no, you did good. You did good.
You saved the lives of two of my guys. Putting you both up for a Combat Cross.
- Ah! - Sorry, Paulie.
Doc, whoa, whoa, whoa. Doc, listen.
- I gotta check this body for evidence. - Do me a favor, use a glove. Use a glove.
Open it up.
There's some Swiss cheese upstairs, go check it out.
Be quick about it, huh? I got a week's worth of dead.
Just go find something to do for five seconds.
Glad I shot you in the corazón, el Poh Boy.
"Corazón" means "heart." Gabriela hipped me to that.
Mm-hm. That's right.
You didn't shoot him in the corazón, okay?
- You must have shot him in the shoulder. - I shot him in the heart. You crazy?
Excellent shot, right there.
So I got shot too, you know?
Only reason why I ain't passed out yet is because I wanted...
That ain't my shot.
No, that ain't my shot. There's muscle memory at the Academy.
They teach you, better aim for the arteries and stuff like that. That ain't my shot.
I'm sorry, Jim. Jimmy, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Jimmy. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Jim.
- Fuck. - Jimmy.
Can we say a prayer together?
Come on, man. Drinking ain't gonna make things better, gonna make things worse.
Got some 20/20 Mad Dog back there?
I know how you feel about the Pafko, man. I can get my hands on a Reggie Jackson.
Hey, Pam. What's up, sugar?
Turn around, let me get a look at you. Right on, mama.
If God created anything better than you, he keeping it for his mother-loving self.
- Nice seeing you. - Take care, Pam.
Let's dance. Come here.
You having a good time today?
Let's get out of here, come on. One time.
We'll go to your dad's house. In the back of the Lincoln...
- I'm glad you're in a really good mood. - Yeah, I'm in a great mood.
- I wanna ask you a little favor. - Okay.
I want you to let Roy give Ava away with you.
When the priest says, "Who gives this woman away?"
You and Roy both stand up and you say together, "We do."
Come on, that's fair. He's paying for the wedding.
Are you high?
You're gonna do this for me, Jimmy, because you owe me.
Because if you don't...
...if you ruin my daughter's wedding day for me, the way you did everything else...
...I will rip your fucking balls off.
- Hey, you. - Hey.
- You need anything, baby? - No, thanks, I'm fine.
Oh, you sure are.
- You like your necklace? - Oh, yeah, I love it.
You know there's more where that came from.
Honey, I don't want you to keep buying me things.
I love you and I forgive you.
You just need to pull that jealousy thing way back.
Thank you. And I love you.
And you look so pretty and sweet, like Bambi.
"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
He maketh me lie down in green pastures.
He leadeth me beside still waters.
He leadeth me in the path of righteousness for his namesake.
When I was a child, I spoke as a child...
...I understood as a child, I thought as a child.
But when I became man, I put away childish things.
Faith, hope, and love...
...these three. But the greatest of these is love."
And who gives this bride away?
Hey, hey, hey. Sit down. Sit down.
Stand up and I'll blow your fucking kidneys out. All right?
He should probably do it.
And who gives this bride away?
I do.
I love you.
Hello?
- Hey, sweetie. - Hi, sweetie.
So, um...
...I was thinking we could go out to dinner. Oh, dinner. Where are we going?
Could you hang on for just a sec, hon? Thanks.
- Hello? - Hello?
Is this some kind ofjoke?
Why? Do you like jokes?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Open.
- Open who? - Open the fucking bag, bitch.
Hi.
Yes.
你知道今天是什么日子吗？
吉米，我们在一起搭档 整整九年了
一起合作九年了 有的狗都活不到九岁呢
大丹狗能和你在一起七年 就很幸运了
而你我都在一起九年了 周年快乐，吉尔
-我不庆祝周年 -吉姆，打开
-我想看到你开礼物时高兴的表情 -想看我高兴的表情？
那我想你会我的表情就是： "去死吧！"
我讨厌周年，保罗
没人性
这次怎么进行
-和以往一样，我审问，你记录 -现在你成老大了？
希望整个警察局 都知道你是老大了
这次我要扮黑脸
-靠不住 -靠得住
非常靠不住
知道为什么吗？ 因为你扮不了黑脸
你只是从电视电影上 剽窃人家的台词罢了
-这可不是演戏 -这不是剽窃，这叫尊重
-什么 -尊重
这是法语，意思是：你这次听我的
-你想审问这个人？ -是的
好吧，进去审讯他把，别搞砸了 查出他的上线是谁就可以了
你说得好像这个家伙 嘴硬得什么都不说
好像他是哥斯拉，我是东京
你看着，学着点 我让他见识一下我的尊重
尊重
难以置信
尊重
-你干什么 -你是什么人？是警察吗？
不是，快把枪放下
警察以为可以把我困在这里 做梦吧，我会杀了这些蠢猪
-兄弟，你有麻烦？ -什么
-你… -不要浪费我的时间
天啊，现在又扮演烈火悍将中的 艾尔帕西诺了
帮我解开手铐 看见这把枪了吗？
杀了一个警察抢来的
还抢了他的手机
你给我耍滑头，我就打爆你的头
因为金刚远远不如我
-你是谁？ -现在又改成"震撼教育"的台词了？
-你是谁？ -你演的太差
-你不要管 -让他交代，然后就出来
-去吃点饭吧 -别再朝这里打电话了，否则我就杀人了
就像鲁本一样
-如果它流血，我们就能杀了它 -妈的，你这话是什么意思？
他们死有余辜 我希望他们在地狱中受刑
-保罗 -干什么？
我服了你了，别再闹了
12系统之后就是我的死刑
-星际大战？ -告诉我鸡肉的事
-辛德勒的名单？ -上帝知道我爱哈珀
-但如果他打我，我就杀了他 -"紫色姊妹花"？
"禁区"曾经一度是天堂，我无处可去 我们需要一条更大的船
"阴间大法师"，"阴间大法师" 全都是在有线电视上学的
-"去死吧，混蛋！" -我没看过这部电影
"我不会对你开枪的，法兰克"
"疤面煞星"
-你是什么人？ -别人称呼我蒂布斯先生
-巴比，过来看看 -他们让你干什么
-毒品 -毒品？
你这混蛋想强占我的地盘？
天啊，你想抢我的生意？
警察
我不卖毒品，我只是中间人
-给我来点 -哥斯拉来了
-哥斯拉？ -哥斯拉来了
我们之间交流失败 你要在笼子里过夜了
老实说，保罗，我一点不在乎
-蝙蝠侠在哪里 -蝙蝠侠，你疯了，警察
你为什么撤退，他们不会撤退
没人把宝贝放在角落里
你真混蛋
不要，我发誓
我发誓，他们把货送到我的 手机店里，我再转手给别人
-然后呢 -没了，我就知道这些
-是谁送货？ -是谁送货？
迪亚斯，胡安迪亚斯
这些不是你要找的机器人
坐下，坐在这里
怎么回事，这是怎么回事
告诉我们胡安迪亚斯在哪里 否则你就坐牢很多年
-下次送货时什么时间？看着我！ -我本来今天下午一点和他见面
恭喜你，你不用坐牢了
-你已经是白色闪电的人了 -什么？
还有黑色雷霆
两个混蛋
该去做卧底了，吉姆
免费通话时间 给你奶奶叔叔阿姨随便打电话
免费手机，免费手机
你应该用我打电话给你妈妈
来看看啊
-免费电话 -这身衣服很适合你
没人理我，真无聊
不会有什么情况 我打电话给黛博拉
-现在有情况了 -是的，现在
有情况了，有什么事情
要找的人来了
想要吗？没有的快来买吧 趁着价格便宜快来买吧，看看啊
免费通话时间 给你奶奶叔叔阿姨随便打电话
来看看啊
黑莓机？
拿着吧，没问题
他拿钱了，吉姆 等劳尔给你暗号
你尽快把那个人抓走
不，对不起，奇科，不要
该死
-保罗，你没事吧搭 -他从后门走了，上车
不看看我是谁就开枪，混蛋
所有人员请注意 嫌烦逃逸，携带枪支，一人倒下
嫌犯是西班牙裔男性 黑色T恤，蓝牛仔裤
卧底警察正徒步追赶 带着大手机
保罗，你在哪里？
给我停下
你看见我的背章了吗？ 警察！我要征用自行车！
-得了吧，手机人 -我说了是警察
喂
"史酷比"，去追他，抓住他
我看到他了
混蛋
别过来，混蛋
好，他跑不了了
恶狗，走开，恶狗
该死的
在这里开枪？
把枪放下，然后扔过来
怎么能在月台上开枪
喂
混蛋
吉米，当心，吉米
吉米
看我骑着自行车，你却趴在地上
门罗和霍奇斯
警察的工作有正确的方式 也有错误的方式
-还有你们两个笨蛋的方式 -谢谢，队长
-怎么回事，吉米？ -只是不顺
急转直下 整个情况都变得糟糕了
新来的墨西哥黑帮混混 无视规矩，心狠手辣
-杀了人就跑了 -那应该和反黑帮小组协调
-哪有时间？ -马上就是他们接头的时间了
我们要立刻行动 反黑帮小组和组织犯罪控制科
一直在那一带卧底 打个电话你们就能了解情况了
你们两人从来不在乎细节
每天都有大量墨西哥黑帮混进来 从加拿大向那一片送很多货
墨西哥人把毒品空运到加拿大 再透过多伦多运到美国
-因为南部边境的安检非常严密 -是嘛，原来是这么回事
-你看来对此感到迷惑 -是的
-我们在那一片的工作全完了 -好消息是，我们安然无恙
好消息是你们停职了 30天停职停薪
-什么，停职停薪？ -干什么，杰克
-线人死了，造成了枪击 -开什么玩笑
你们打草惊蛇
有人拍下你打了孩子 抢了他的自行车
他差点中枪了！你打了孩子？
我需要他的自行车 现在影片都传到网路上了
-真的吗？传到网路上了 -干得好
-多少点选次数 -至少两个人看了
警察局长和副局长 你们的停职立即生效，出去吧
杰克，你记得爱娃吧？
-我女儿爱娃 -我认识她
你参加了她的洗礼
她已经成年了 6周以后就结婚了
我还要靠这钱来办喜事呢
-我不管 -你不管？
随便你想什么办法 把警徽和枪缴回
-杰克 -警徽和枪
-非让我求你的话，我会求你的 -缴回！
你听见我的话了，吉米
真是的，杰克
好，好
-队长，你真是铁石心肠 -出去
虽然我被狗咬了，但你更傻 还以为自己能跑的比汽车快
你又不是无敌铁金刚 连刹车和油门都分不清楚
自己被车撞了，就不要来责怪我
-去你的 -去你的
你们
-你们两个太棒了 -很有天赋
轻易的就让我们 一个月的卧底工作毁于一旦
真是天才般的愚蠢
在你们枪战的时候 我们盯上的每一个毒贩都跑掉了
你们去看看别人的工作安排 打电话问问，别破坏了别人的工作
真讨厌，上班时候来电话 我接个电话，对不起，喂
-吉米，你好吗？ -嗨
是我，保罗，什么事
看见站在我们面前的 两个人了吗？
曼格和亨塞克
-你有没有感觉亨塞克就像个娘们 -他老婆更难看
亨塞克的老婆有三颗牙 其中两颗还装在口袋里
噢，有一个奶子没有奶头 还拍过他们两口子的电影
-凯文科斯纳和劳伯狄尼洛主演的 -什么片名？
-烂夫烂妻 -烂夫烂妻，我喜欢这部电影
说实话，我希望让凯文科斯纳 和劳伯狄尼洛扮演我们
是啊，曼格的老婆很不幸福 她说他是包茎
-喂 -真能造谣
我很想谈论这两个人 但我还有事
-好的，再见 -再见
对不起，有些别的事 刚才说到哪里了
你杀了那个告密的，干得好 很高兴你没事
你记得5年级的老师 泰莉莎修女吗？
她那么好，不该去当修女
疯狂的企鹅
她人很好 还教我怎么投掷棒球
-那几个笨蛋还没把我的宾士开来 -别急，他们快来了
一旦那辆宾士送到我这里
在得到那个人死人的供货管道 和银行帐户
就能把我们的毒品贸易 扩展到布鲁克林以外
达到整个东海岸
在这之后
我们购买一只棒球队，胡安
对不起，普博
海克特和塔帕斯开了一整夜 停车去加油
当他们出来的时候…
宾士就被偷走了
你让我招收这两个人
你对我说车在他们手上会很安全
我现在就去处罚塔帕斯和海克特
保佑我，上帝
为我要犯下的罪
我能把警笛放在车顶上吗？
-不行 -你让我不开心
唉
我没脸进去说我被停职了
你不用说
-这是我的宝贝手枪，小心保管 -谢谢，保罗
-你的车里怎么这么多警徽 -我经常弄丢
保罗叔叔
宝贝，你好
你要结婚了
潘蜜拉，熊妈妈，你真美
-爸爸 -你真漂亮
-谢谢
-我不知道你是谁，你要结婚了 -我要结婚了
真想不到啊，我要走了 对不起，我要走了
但我爱你就像老鼠爱大米
如果谈到这件事，我有办法
再见
-我爱你 -好
来吧，告诉爸爸，我很想知道
-嗨，进行的很顺利？ -是的
-很期待？ -是的
-仍然打算结婚？ -是的
-按照我们的计划来 -他还会像以前那样
-让人扫兴的 -请了一流的乐团
-什么乐团？ -处子乐团
他们是很抢手的
因此要支付定金把事情定下来
-我看看单子 -其实花钱很少
是吗？
看看包含的项目 就会发现价格并不高
不高
吉米
我知道4万8千美元似乎挺多
但对于梦幻般的婚礼来说 这钱真不算多
如果你能同意的话 我很愿意为爱娃这么做
-做什么，罗伊？ -出钱举办婚礼，吉米
真是大方
-你们能让我们单独谈谈吗？ -爸爸
-吉米 -我们只想谈谈
-我们没怎么谈过 -没关系
去吧台要一杯酒
也给你妈妈要一杯，让她放松一下
你喝什么，威士忌
-莱姆酒？ -好的
-给你继父来一杯加冰莱姆酒 -不要紧
-我只要一杯水 -好，爸爸
你很漂亮，真的 你们两人都很漂亮
你知道我是警察吧
纽约警察局的 有一把装着子弹的枪
每天出门追踪坏人 尽力抓住坏人
各种各样的坏人 强奸犯，毒贩，盗窃犯
你知道在我看来最坏的 是什么人吗？
就是那种当着女孩子的面 就羞辱她父亲的人
当着宝贝女儿的面
-说完了？ -是的，说完了
-说得很好 -谢谢
-听我说，爱娃就像是我的女儿 -她不是你女儿，是我的女儿
所以我才说"就像我的女儿"
我的职责就是让她和潘蜜拉 得到自己想要的
我是第二任丈夫
为了爱娃的幸福，5万美元 对我来说不算什么
也就是在赌城一个周末的花梢
如果你没钱举办你女儿的婚礼 我会出钱
一个一事无成的前夫 从不支付任何抚养费
一直由我支付，不用谢
但独生女结婚的时候 也没钱办喜事
在我看来，这才是坏人
你还是继续怀着 对纽约市民安全的庄严承诺
拿着你的枪 找个地方自杀算了，打警察
-爸爸，我能和你谈谈吗？ -当然可以
失陪了，罗伊
混蛋
不用非要为我举办隆重的婚礼
和几个朋友 举行简单的仪式就很好
宝贝，来，这怎么行？
你会有你一直期待的婚礼 隆重的婚礼，所有的朋友都请来
就连你妈妈也会感到高兴 你放心吧
-真的吗？ -真的
-你能肯定？ -是的
-我真心希望能有隆重的婚礼 -你会得到的，我不是说了吗？
不要听这个混蛋胡说 他现在看着我吗？
别理他
怎么回事
这是…
混蛋
大艾尔，你好吗？ 我是吉米门罗
我要把帕夫柯卖了 你帮我找个买主
早安，黛博拉
早安，保罗
-这是你昨晚喝过的吗？ -被你发现了
我庆祝了 因为我终于不用吃面条了
-我忘了 -每天都吃面条，你能忘记？
不要转移话题 这瓶香槟是你一个人喝的吗？
不是的，有人帮忙
-谁 -亨利
-亨利？ -亨利
-隔壁邻居？ -隔壁邻居亨利
我们的庆祝关他什么事
我们的庆祝？ 你根本没来！
我又多心了吧
-保罗 -你这么年轻漂亮
-我就是不放心 -嫁给你我很满足
我爱你，嫁给你是因为你 幽默，聪明…
-以及我的吻技 -和这个无关
你没必要吃亨利或任何人的醋 我是你的人，你要相信这一点
我就像实验室的猴子 把一切都给你了
-这是什么比喻？ -你能把你给我吗？
我爱你，给我一个吻吧
嗨
嗨，亨利
我去洗澡，晚上再见
"玩具熊， 内建摄影机"
你替我盯着点
什么盒子
-我要把帕夫柯卖掉 -我听说过，我知道
-我撒谎了，帕夫柯是什么 -是棒球卡
棒球卡？
-吉米，如果你需要20块钱，我有… -笨蛋，我不需要20块钱
-我卖了它来为女儿办喜事 -这东西值多少钱
这是一张钻石级的安迪帕夫柯
1952年，口香糖公司托普斯 推出第一批棒球卡
安迪帕夫柯 是这一套卡片的第一张
孩子们都喜欢收集卡片 把卡片叠在一起，用橡皮筋缠起来
我爸爸 从来不在卡片上缠上橡皮筋
他喜欢安迪帕夫柯 一直珍藏着
四五年前，这种卡片曾拍卖到 8万3千美元
8万3千美元？
是的，我的女儿婚礼 要花费4万8千美元
-这下你要发一笔小财了 -是啊，假如能卖到那么高的话
我就是打肿脸充胖子 也不能在这件事上
-输给那个混蛋罗伊 -是啊
我不进去了 我要打电话给黛博拉
好
-大艾尔 -门罗先生
-这就是帕夫柯？ -是的
刚和一个买主透过电话，他想买 我还需要鉴定一下，能拿出来吗？
-你是要鉴定这张卡片吧 -这一个月，我不去工作了
我回家陪你 享受甜蜜的二人世界
小心边缘，不能这么取出来
打开装钱的抽屉，打开
-大卫，卡片要不要拿？ -不要拉下面具
我的真名不是大卫 所以他才叫我大卫
挑旧卡片拿 这种旧卡片他会出高价的
保罗，保罗
-保罗，真是的 -我想让你怀孕
我们女儿生下来，会有11斤重 拿着玩具在家里跑来跑去
-这人有枪 -什么？
我是警察
现在我是警察了
我想见到你 想和你一起在家里
从现在就开始
喂
-喂 -吉米，我正打电话呢
门罗先生
我们是警察，来帮助你的
-你是犯罪受害人，明白吗？ -我没时间听你们啰嗦
哇
根据他的精神状况 你觉得我们该怎么进行呢
-给他做个精神评估 -我们带你去贝勒维做一下检查
问你一下
你什么时候有了… 收藏的爱好？
嫌疑犯有没有什么特征？
没有
七桩抢劫案，都是类似的手法 都在皇后区，5个在法洛克威
这让我想到，也许罪犯 是从附近某家店里做的纹身
下面就是我聪明的办法 听着，会让你拍案叫绝的
我妈妈以前就经常这么对朋友说
我儿子真聪明，我儿子真聪明 他真聪明
我给抢劫地点附近的纹身店 都打了电话
有个人说他好像给别人 在前臂上做过卡通狗冲浪的纹身
-啊，你干什么？ -是一个卡通狗冲浪的纹身
告诉我的搭档大卫是谁 否则他就在你的脸上纹两个独角兽
-快交代 -大卫欠我钱
他说今晚入户盗窃之后就还我钱 他一直在罗卡韦海滩的一处房子踩点
我就知道这些，我就知道这些
我打了这么多次电话 她到底去哪里了
别急
凌晨4点15的电话也不接？
随便哪个警察 老婆的电话肯定都在枕头边
有急事方便联系 她很可能和那个亨利在一起
我不想再听你胡说
真是的
-亨利是谁 -是我们的邻居
每天早上黛博拉倒垃圾的时候
亨利也会碰巧倒垃圾
"哦，黛博拉，黛博拉 你真是美极了"
"到我家来玩吧"
"真的吗？他要工作一晚上？"
"你11点左右到我家吧"
"让他在外面拚死拚活 我们在家老汉推车"
老汉推车？ 这个该死的三眼混蛋
-我现在就打电话给黛博拉 -把手机给我
-还给我 -我不会给你的
受不了你整天疑心老婆搞外遇了
听着烦死了 我保证不会打电话的
如果不打电话 你也就用不着手机了
-把手机给我 -我不会给你的
放开，我对天发誓
不放开我就对你不客气了
把手机给我，趴下
趴下，现在高兴了吧
真是的，跟个孩子似的
哦
哇
-怎么了？ -那是什么，看看
-难以置信 -让我看看
上了屋顶了，这是干什么
这叫做跑酷
是一种法国武术 绕着圈跑，上下窜
你是百科全书吗？
望远镜沾上沙子了 那是因为你把它放在我的脸上了
找不到他了，等一下
-别这样啊 -怎么了
这是干什么，怎么了
在房子里大便 看看，楼上，亮灯的地方
哦，天啊，他在房子里大便
怎么有这种人 在盗窃的房子里还要大便
是啊，在这种关头 怎么还会大便
我只在自己家里大便
我能憋住好几个小时再拉出来 不过拉出来的时候，那个猛啊
一条褐色的大鲨鱼就出来了 我的大便是创纪录的
拉在马桶的各处 拉在洗手间的各处
有时候拉得太猛 隔壁邻居就会喊：勇士，出来玩啦
天啊
-怎么了 -有麻烦了
有人回家了，来
-"你们的基地属于我们" -什么乱七八糟的
这帮日本人制作的电子游戏 他们不懂英语
-这话真别扭 -女士
我们是纽约警察局的 你能过来一下吗？
怎么回事，你们为什么蹲下？
我是霍奇斯警探，这是门罗警探
-有人刚刚溜进你的房子 -什么
他还在里面，你带着你的儿子
到街对面你的邻居家，等着我们去接你
我不走，有人敢进我的家 我要亲自干掉这个混蛋
使不得，你马上把枪放起来
得了吧，我不会走的 竟然敢偷我的东西，我经常锻炼的
-你要杀人吗？ -那是自然
-你快把枪放下 -不可能，我知道我的权利
女士，马上把枪放下 带你的儿子到对面邻居家
在那里等着我们去接你
真是的
你们别把我的家具弄坏了 那可是订做的义大利家具
吉米
妈的
你刚才摔下楼梯了？
-没有 -开枪，吉米
-他摸我的胸部 -把枪放下
-我不是故意摸的，只是紧张 -别动，保罗
告诉黛博拉我爱她
-黛博拉是谁？ -是我老婆
-把手拿开他的胸部 -杀了他，吉米
放开他，否则下一发子弹 就会穿过你的脑袋
-把枪放在地上 -不行
这可是崭新的斑木地板，笨蛋
给我
给你，胆小鬼 混蛋，不知道先弄掉鞋上的泥
蠢货
福博，福博 我们能把车找回来
嘘
胡安
宾士车里面的东西对我非常重要
谁找回那辆车，就给谁5千美元
天啊，你能相信吗？
那个女的差点把我打死 摸摸我的脉搏
真是惊险 你们也在场，亲眼见到了
-闭嘴，我打电话呢 -好，我不说话，喂
我现在很想吃起士 能停车买点起士吗？
喂，笨贼 我现在只想知道我的棒球卡在哪里
我搭档的枪在哪里
-你的什么 -我的棒球卡
为什么和我谈棒球卡
想起来了，我还拿电击枪电你了呢 喂，被电的时候有没有拉裤子
一天晚上，我电击自己五次 一次也没拉裤子
只是露出一点头 就像这样，本以为会拉出来的
-还是没人接 -你给谁打电话？你老婆？
-现在才6点，应该还在睡觉 -也许正和别的男人亲热
-她忙到不想接电话 -你就坐在后面闭嘴吧
喂，你闭嘴 能告诉我你老婆电话吗？
别这样，我不要就是了
你何必老是疑神疑鬼 和自己过不去呢
-我知道，是他老是提起来 -也许你老婆患了CCD
-什么事CCD？ -渴望男人病
就是渴望男人，任何男人，每一个男人 她现在说不定正玩DP呢
-就是3P -什么？
他说的是3P
-闭嘴 -你要开枪打我吗？
-我要打爆你的头 -"我要打爆你的头"
什么，闭嘴！
-"闭嘴" -闭嘴
-别重复我的话 -"别重复我的话"
闭嘴，你看他这个混蛋，吉姆 闭嘴
吉姆，你看他这个混蛋
-他想免费住在我的大脑中 -不要拿枪点你的头
-闭嘴 -好吧
-闭嘴 -"闭嘴"
别重复我的话 闭嘴！
不要出声
-鸭子季节 -"兔子季节"
-行了 -你看见了吗，吉姆？
-行啦，吉姆 -把这个混蛋…
我们都冷静一下
你们又气又累，我反正要坐牢了 我们都稍停一下吧
有人敲门
吉姆，不要 不要应答
-如果还当我是朋友，就不要应答 -应答
-我们已经是9年的交情了 -应答
-不要应答，吉姆 -应答
-不要应答，吉姆 -门外是谁？
你为什么要应答，吉姆？ 为什么？
为了让我难堪？
-橘子 -何必呢？
不，不
不，不，不
绝不
不，不
我拒绝…，不，不
什么橘子，妈的
你老婆喂别的男人吃的橘子
我要杀了你，混蛋
你告诉我的棒球卡在哪？
-还有我的枪 -两个黑帮
受不了了
下车，你这混蛋
混蛋，下车了！
敢跑的话… 就一枪打死你
-这是警察暴行 -下面才是
-你们要干什么？ -给你最后一次机会
-告诉我棒球卡在哪？ -好吧
你的棒球卡就在… 在保罗老婆裤子里
-收拾他吧，吉姆 -至少给他机会了
-很高兴认识你 -你的话太多了
-吉姆，你看他…
-人最快能跑多快？ -不知道，我们创个记录吧
坐好
我的鸡鸡，我的蛋蛋
妈妈呀
真是爽
你们真会玩 下次开旋风车吧
我开玩笑的，只是装着若无其事 不想再来一遍了
我卖了你们的枪和卡 换了毒品，还有一些迷幻药
你卖了我的棒球卡 是为了毒品
-是的 -卖给你毒品的是谁？
-我不知道，不知道他的名字 -他还是不肯都说出来
-你觉得拴在火车后面，他会怎么样？ -会很惨，我们再把他拖一段
不，我不认识他 他就像是幽灵，见不到人影
-告诉我他的名字 -拜托，我不知道他的名字
-每次都派不同的孩子送货 -他的名字
好
普博 他用的是普博这个名字
你们好，天气真好啊
-滚吧，朋友，这里禁止进入 -你直接从卡通书上下来
-小时候缺少足够的爱 -这会让你感觉到爱的温暖
我可不是能让你 抢走自行车的小孩
-你在网路上看过了 -是的，混蛋
知道我有多少点选次数吗？
这么多的点选次数 如果你们不尊重警察的话
-只会让我的点选次数更高 -你这混蛋，我们想知道普博在哪？
别这么做，兄弟，别这么做
-谁？ -你知道普博在哪吗？ -别这么做，兄弟，他会杀了我们的
-他说的法语 -哦
皮埃尔，飞飞夫夫瓦里夫鲁 法国芥末酱，混蛋
我们要进去了，来
天啊
你的棒球卡肯定在他手上
你们喜欢我的 棒球("钻石")宝藏吗？
棒球就是在棒球场("钻石")进行的 明白了吗？
谁为你取了三明治的名字
你爸还是你妈
你们找我有什么事吗，警官？
我想要回我的棒球卡
-那是什么卡？ -别装糊涂
别在我家里大喊大叫
如果真有这么一张卡片 会很容易毁坏的
-这么说确实在你手上 -我没这么说
假设在某人手上呢
我们做个假设吧 假设给你们，你们付出什么条件呢
-假设我们逮捕你怎么样？ -假设你家半夜着火怎么样？
假设你的安迪帕夫柯棒球卡 不小心掉进了垃圾处理设备里
这个假设最可怕吧
你要求什么条件
说条件不好听，不如说是帮忙吧
非法的不行，不会
有人偷了我的车，警官
这辆车对我来说 有很大的情感价值
我只希望你们做你们警察 分内的事，找到我的车
-也就是汽车换卡片 -如果能找回我的车
那么帕夫柯大哥 或许就回到你手上
-安安全全的 -算了吧
把卡片给我们 否则就对你不客气
你们看着，弟兄们
喜欢吗？ 我们练习了1小时了
开枪吧，说不定能打中我
那么…你要找什么车？
这是手机店的那两个人？
这两个混蛋疯了，哥哥
你把他们拖进来是引火烧身
我考虑到风险了，弟弟 我需要那辆车
你跟踪他们
你知不知道，侏儒黑猩猩
是除了人类以外唯一有口交行为的 灵长类动物？
你怎么还有时间看动物世界？ 我每天25小时和你在一起
-我需要充电，需要充电 -你就知道学些没用的知识
我可不想看真人秀节目 那就是好莱坞的垃圾
我也讨厌真人秀节目 你说得对，垃圾得很
我喜欢看猩猩做爱
你说得有道理
好了
此人是布鲁克林最大的汽车盗贼
我们小心点
你们撞了我的车了
-你干什么，小子 -我在看车，混蛋
-下车 -因为我是黑人吗？
-不，因为你只有10岁 -11岁
-下车 -我系着安全带的
下车，你这小混蛋
操
我们想知道几天前的晚上 在小超市后面
-失窃的宾士车的情况 -我不说你也没辄，因为我未成年
-你也去死吧，混蛋 -你的火气真不小
-别妨碍我做事，混蛋 -这是谁的车
-你妈妈的 -你妈妈…
-怎么样？ -我要狠狠给你一巴掌
-你拿我没办法 -告诉我们失窃的宾士车的事
-我什么都不说 -你要是不说的话…
混蛋
我就让你小心点
保罗，你打了孩子一拳？
有些事你不了解我 小孩踢我下体的话，我也是一样揍
走吧，我要把你扔到河里
受够了，走吧 告诉我们宾士车的事
去死吧，但愿你会游泳
更好的办法就是带你回家 告诉你妈妈你做的事
不要，她会打我的 告诉我们宾士车的事
不是我干的，但我知道是谁偷的 他们把车卖给了一个律师
-你没事吧 -哎哟
-他叫什么名字 -卡帕罗斯基，或是类似的名字
他是俄国人，我能查到网址 只要别送我回家
查到网址
你的手机还比不上我的
一看就没钱，喂
哇，舌头割下来了
这是拉丁黑帮的所为
他们喜欢把舌头割下来 这样在死后就不能向耶稣忏悔了
他们是什么人，萨尔瓦多人？ 洪都拉斯人？
鲁氏靴子 这说明他们是墨西哥公民
做工精细，高跟 一般都是珍稀动物的皮革
-这一双是海龟皮的 -你是怎么知道的？
我了解靴子
这靴子很好，谢谢
我也想考虑买一双
-不行，这种靴子会让你受累的 -别胡说了
我问你这个问题，实话实说
你觉得这靴子多大号码，我是10号的
你最好不要…
永远不要穿死人的靴子
这是最不吉利的
对不起，也谢谢你
我们来调查一下这些人 是怎么到了这里的
各位
我还是不明白 他是怎么让公鸡谈钢琴的
他只是把鸡食放在琴键上 让鸡去啄
就能弹奏曲子了
-没那么复杂 -我要扮黑脸
不行，上次你全搞砸了
胡说，我扮的很像
-我一直在练习怎么表演 -这不是表演
是尊重
-我要唱黑脸 -不行
你不行
吉米，你这混蛋
你干什么，不要
你是律师吗？ 喂，你是律师吗？
过来
-过来 -不要杀我
把她抓走吧
她更有价值，她不会喊叫
把枪放下，我是警察
我是人质谈判专家，我是警察
请平民离这个罪犯远点
不要靠近，警察 冷静，朋友，冷静
冷静，朋友 不要冲动，朋友
-闭嘴 -冷静，别上火
我今天杀了11个人了 再杀几个我也不在乎
11个人？我是律师 我可以为你辩护，这是我的名片
不要伤害任何人 我们都不想伤害任何人
-车钥匙在哪里，车钥匙？ -是的，我需要车离开这里
-冷静，没什么车，我老婆给你吧 -去拿车钥匙
我是你的朋友 听着，我是你的朋友
-"你违反了第五法则" -你胡说什么
我这是机器警察，你演好你的角色
-你过来 -演好你的戏 -出来出来
你真是糟糕的警察
-你的车呢？ -在车库里，旁边的车库里
-好，我要带这个女人走 -喂，带我走吧
带我走吧，我的枪也给你
-我理解你的痛苦 -我理解你的痛苦
-好，我带着警察走 -好
这才叫表演 这才是表演得出神入化
-完全的入戏，完全令人相信 -你很糟糕
11个人？你今天杀了11个人？ 你为什么打我巴掌
-在那时候…那时候就应该打你 -你不能老是…
天啊
-这是什么人？ -是手机店的那个人
糟糕
天啊
这是…
开到公墓了？ 你真行啊，保罗！
-现在只要从车上跳下去，就到坟墓里了 -跳吧
稳住车
-打死他们，混蛋 -他妈的，该你大显身手了
好啊
-这车很受人关注啊 -我们查查是什么原因
别怕，别怕
你没事吧
他们要杀我 他们要杀我，救救我
等等
-看，警察 -保罗，警察
-保罗，吉米 -吉米？
-我叫嘉贝拉 -嘉贝拉？
嘉贝拉
我们带她去洗手间吧
-我们在什么地方 -别怕，别怕
不要，不要再来了
你跟丢了宾士
失去了那女孩
还害死了胡安，害死了我弟弟
怎么？
5千美元还不够？ 还要我提高点？
那就2万美元
不管这两人把那女孩带到哪里
我都要知道
我点辣萝卜和鳄梨酱
怎么了，吃饭有什么不好
春卷配碎牛肉
-我不吃了，曼纽尔，我需要你帮我个忙 -好的，吉米
-辣食，不只是我吃的 -大家都吃
-听着，曼纽尔 -曼纽尔，这位是嘉贝拉，嘉贝拉
她遇到了麻烦
你把她的遭遇翻译给我们 也告诉她我们是来帮助她的
但我们要先知道她遇到了什么事
好
她很害怕
我们要找个地方私下谈谈，马上
-好 -我们走
是的
有发现了，很重大 会让你大吃一惊的
-好的 -我很感谢，好，再见
-对不起，你刚才说… -找到枪的主人了
在公墓里死去的黑帮手上的枪
-这把枪 -看看
-这把枪 -这是一把枪
-在袋子里，枪的主人是… -保罗霍奇斯警探
你怎么知道的？ 你一整天都在洗手间
看看我找到了什么 我都有这个疯狂小丑的照片呢
嘉贝拉是墨西哥最大毒贩的情妇
-被杀的那个？ -她去找警察
他们想到她家里杀了她 结果杀了她姐姐
她弟弟找人帮忙把她弄到美国 越境的时候，被蛇头出卖了
几个人把她带到飞机里 然后把她放在汽车后车厢两天
剩下的你们都知道了
我去去就回
给我拿件上衣
我女儿要结婚了 嫁给一个叫罗纳的人
他对她很好，对我女儿很好
我女儿出生的那一刻 她的第一个动作
就是对我眨眼，能想像得到吗？
一个婴儿就这么做？
她是想让我放心
一直不让我操心，就连离婚的时候 也不让我为难，很懂事的孩子
非常懂事
我只想让她幸福
她妈妈觉得我是混蛋，讨厌我 因此我才要找回棒球卡
我一定要…做一次对的事 为女儿举办她梦想的婚礼
然后我就不像是混蛋父亲了
明白我的意思吗？
吉米
好吧
-你拿了多少枪？ -这是我放在卧室的秘密摄影机
我没勇气去看拍到了什么 你帮我看一下
不，绝不帮你
-拜托，吉米 -我不会帮你看的
你真是疯了，保罗 你老婆爱你
你却在她的卧室装了摄影机 你绝对疯了
告诉你，我是不会看
不
-求你了 -不
求你了
不要让我看
喂，你不要多管
-你都不知道她说了什么 -你也不知道，把熊放下
你知道她说了什么吗？ 她说的是：求你了，吉米
拜托你看看录下了什么 我的主人心里很受伤
-求你了 -你真是疯了
你真是疯了 你会后悔的
-里面什么都没有 -好啊
-好啊，混蛋 -拿上你的熊，放在袋子里
-现在能走了吗？ -好
好，非常感谢，好
是我在中情局的朋友
他说能帮忙 不过24小时内到不了
他来之前，我们就保护好 这个女孩，等着
那我就眼睁睁看着棒球卡 找不回来了
-吉米，现在别管那张卡了 -我能不管爱娃的婚礼了吗？
我也希望爱娃能有她梦想的婚礼 但是现在
-我要专注于保护嘉贝拉的安全 -我就不是吗？
可是你张口闭口 都是我的卡，我的卡
吉米，我还没和你说完呢
-喂 -吉米，我是亨塞克
-我是贝瑞曼格，我也在 -好，你知道现在几点了吗？
听着，我们在一个凶手身上 找到一把枪
好样的，神探
是你搭档的枪 我们知道保罗有关系
20分钟后到阶梯酒吧见面
好
好的
你要去找你的卡吧
-这件事我要一个人去，保罗 -真是的，吉米
让罗伊和潘蜜拉掏钱举行婚礼 爱娃也是一样开心的
-你就留在这里保护她 -万一普博派人盯上你了呢？
我不能让你威胁到嘉贝拉的安全 你要嘛别出去，要嘛别回来
-不知道你在胡说什么，保罗 -吉米
-他来了 -他必须来 -过了你的睡觉时间了，曼格
得了吧，好了，你来就好，吉米
有件事需要你的帮助 我想问问你是否知道
你搭档的枪曾用来袭击 一位墨西哥公民
他在装糊涂
保罗的手枪 在死去的胡安迪亚兹手上
你可能还记得胡安 就是手机店里那个开枪的人
-他有个哥哥普博 -有趣的名字
他叫普博，想扩大他的毒品生意 想寻求任何可能得到的帮助
也包括警察
我只想问问你是否意识到 你的搭档让你陷入的处境
-帮助我们就是帮助你自己 -把我们看作是你的日记
你们是在扮演警察与小偷吧
带着枪，带着警徽，穿着漂亮的小靴子 其实却对情况一点不了解
如果再挑拨我和搭档的关系 我会收拾你们
先收拾你
你们不该这么愚蠢
你刚刚放屁
你好
我应该告诉你一件事
和你在一起真好，但毕竟有缘无分
我结婚了，我也爱她
什么？
我对你也有感觉 并不是我不想去碰你
你这么美丽迷人 做爱的时候应该会相当的风骚
爆炸
-是的，但我不会碰你的 -我知道
-希望你能尊重这一点 -我知道，我给你带来了危险
我不想让你因为我 被他们割去蛋蛋
喂，等一下，怎么了
我只是随便说说 不是当真要和你做爱
我要去洗澡，洗澡
我不能和你一起洗澡
你要去洗澡
小女孩
别用这种眼神看我
你只是熊，闭嘴
不，不，黛博拉，不要
黛博拉，不要
迪亚兹 迪亚兹，迪-亚…
-这是你的，阿里 -好，谢谢
谢谢你，再见，保重
喂，喂
喂？ 对不起，把你吵醒了吗？
我打电话问问迪亚兹葬礼的事
胡安迪亚兹 是的，胡安迪亚兹
是什么时间？几点？ 好，两点半，谢谢
对不起把你吵醒了 晚安，做个好梦
再见，别惹麻烦
-是我，那女孩呢？ -在洗澡
-你哭了？ -我看了影带了
真不希望你看到
我只是不忍心告诉你 我也经过过这种事
罗伊？
是的
来
-你需要拥抱安慰一下 -这你误会了
-我只是需要安慰 -她进去多久了？
-不知道，你不再和我闹矛盾了吧 -别跟小孩似的，你是我的搭档
她在里面多久了？ 喂，开门，我要小便
嘉贝拉，你披上浴巾 我要进去小便
怎么回事，你是出色的警察 你是出色的警察
-我还能抓着她的手吗？ -你怎么能让她从窗户爬出去了
你没听见动静吗？ 在床上睡着了吗？
没有
给你，你懂西班牙语
-我知道"佩利格"什么意思 -什么意思？
-波多黎各人把企鹅叫做"佩利格" -什么？
噢
这东西 能插在电脑里
在公墓里，撞到墓碑上死去的 那个黑帮
-是普博的弟弟 -那又如何
曼格和亨塞克 把这两件事连在一起
因为那混蛋把我的枪给了普博 我就成了坏警察了？真是胡闹！
喂
-警察，我们需要用一下你的电脑 -我不能做主，我只是夜班经理
对这种事，我要打电话 得到总经理的批准
-利用你受到的教育把这个翻译出来 -谢谢，你好吗？
-你是干什么的？ -清洁工
她是清洁工 按小时收费的清洁工
-吉米，来看看 -什么
真让我大吃一惊
看来是她男朋友的银行帐户 和供货商
-这能让普博成为纽约的毒品之王 -7亿500万美元，或者是70亿比索
知道我是怎么想的吗？ 普博想要的不是嘉贝拉
-他想要的是这个随身碟 -是的
她很为你担心，纸上写着：
"我给你带来了危险 我不能连累你"
"谢谢你的帮助 你像巧克力一样甜"
我觉得她指的…是你
我已经通知全国警方搜寻嘉贝拉
趁着普博参加他弟弟的葬礼 我们有一小时时间
-溜进他的家，找到我的棒球卡 -我们怎么溜进去？
-你不是很健谈，达内尔 -你就闭嘴吧
我这人天生喜欢交际
喂
想不想做我的狱中好友？ 不搞鸡奸那一套
你看不出我正在考虑 极为重要的事情吗？
-你看不出我正想… -警卫
-警卫 -警卫
-滚开 -滚开
-喂 -喂
-你惹我？ -你想惹我？
-给我滚开 -给我滚开
-我要到你的牢房里，把你… -我要到你的牢房里，把你…
-你是想… -你是想…
-好啊，这个混蛋 -好啊，这个混蛋，这是我喜欢做的事
我也喜欢演双簧，我还会跑酷 这是我的两个优点，明白吗？
和我说说话，我想了解你 我想了解你的内心世界，达内尔
你喜欢什么，做什么的？ 我想了解你，了解你的爱好
你是怎么了，告诉我
-我喜欢织毛衣 -什么
-不可能 -是的
-别胡说了 -没有，我喜欢织毛衣
-不会的 -会的
我能织又大又漂亮的毛衣
-喂，笨蛋，有人保释你 -是吗？谁能保释他呢？
-小子，你要爬进二楼的窗户 -一楼窗户，小意思
房子里只有30-40分钟的 时间内没人
你要到2楼他的钻石宝藏那里 应该是他放着卡片的地方
比起给保罗老婆 做全身按摩腰简单
从头到脚 他说了从头到脚
别开这种玩笑
-他老婆真的有外遇 -什么？
-不会吧 -是的
不会吧
不，为什么女人都喜欢这样？ 我真是抱歉
-你打算在感情上怎么应对呢？ -我也不知道
喂
不要放弃爱，保罗，听见了吗？
-不要放弃爱 -我差点要放弃了
-不要放弃 -我不会放弃
-因为爱能带来动力 -是的
-你这人充满爱，不会有事的 -充满爱，是的
有一大袋子的爱，我能看出来
你知道吗，大卫 你刚才说的话很让我感动
知道我什么时候悟到的吗？
-在我做喜欢的事情的时候 -在别人车里大便？
吉米，别这样
是我在罗卡韦海滩看夕阳时 那是我最喜欢、最美丽的景象
-我也喜欢夕阳 -不会吧
-就是的 -不会的
-有时间我们一起看夕阳吧 -好啊
喂，喂，坐回去
喂
什么？
说什么了
对不对？
你去吧
又说悄悄话了
-他还会"跑酷"(parkour)吗？ -他是老手
-我就说过，你看见了吧 -嗨，保罗
糟糕
不
我的卡啊
-完了，他都不动了 -进去看看他的脉搏
我才不进去呢
-你不帮忙吗？ -这可是你的棒球卡
他是你的朋友 你们还在车上接吻呢
但不等于我就要进去
你一点忙帮不上
-感觉不到脉搏 -摸对地方了吗？
-当然摸了对了地方，他肯定死了 -他不可能死
-真是的，我还指望这小子呢 -他看起来就像小天使
我们怎么处置他
-我们把他扔在一个垃圾箱里 -什么？不行！
他不是垃圾可以随便扔掉 他是我的朋友
-我马上就回来 -你去哪里
-去找我的卡 -你疯了吗？
我们要趁着他们没回来赶快走 而且还要去找嘉贝拉呢
我们还有20分钟时间 我会出来的，托我一把
恕我直言，吉米 我才不托你呢！
你向上推我的脚
-什么 -我要踩在你的头上
你站稳了
别踩在我的头上 你踩在我的头上了，吉米
看啊
看个屁啊，赶快去找卡 趁他们没回来
说
好，很好
我们找到那女孩了 她藏在她叔叔家里
开快点
真是结实
哦
-我去拿保险套 -好
嗨，保罗
我发现了你的摄影机 这就是你想看到的？
是不是？ 记得我的同性恋表弟艾瑞克吗？
你好
是她的同性恋表弟
-去死吧，保罗，你怎么不信任我 -相信她，混蛋
是她的同性恋表弟
我整天在家里担心你 你就这么对我？我爱你！
是她的同性恋表弟
好啊，是她的同性恋表弟 你看清楚了，混蛋
是她的同性恋表弟 你这混蛋！
我一直在找你
我的十字架呢
救命
该死
-保罗，现在不是时候 -吉米，你猜怎么了？
她没有偷情 黛博拉没有偷情
-那是她同性恋表弟 -那很好
是我想错了 那是她故意惹我生气的
-到后来就发现了 -好，你知道我发现什么了吗？
什么？
一群墨西哥黑帮 正把嘉贝拉拖到车库里
-吉米，我去接应你 -不，留在原地
-我会传简讯给你 -好
她可真倔强
噢
-好的 -我在想
普博，我们只知道他弟弟 和杀人案有关联
还没有任何针对普博的证据
更重要的是没有 吉米、保罗和普博勾结的证据
-这才是最重要的 -干脆我们直捣黄龙
直接去盘问普博这个混蛋 直到他说出实话来
-让他干什么？ -说出实话来
-我们去找他 -我们走吧！
我在后车厢里两天，两天！ 去干你老妈吧，你这混蛋
还有你妹妹，你这杂碎！
让我走！
你知道为什么把你抓来？
你知道我想要的是什么？
在你这里吗？
她很有种
-你看过棒球比赛吗？ -两天了，两天
安迪帕夫柯卡
-你想干什么，混蛋 -别这样
能不能和棒球传奇人物 安迪帕夫柯谈谈，混蛋
或者用西班牙语说…
那是笨蛋的意思
真的吗？
你拨打的手机不在服务区内 再见
那我就要把这个十字架 交给警察了
-把它给我，否则我就杀了她 -去你的吧
你来找我们，一小时后普拉斯基 大桥下带着棒球卡和那个女孩
-一小时 -让那个女孩接电话
他们有我要的东西 他们要我去普拉斯基大桥下见面
你和你的神枪手跟着我 其它所有人都去大桥
只要这两个混蛋一露面 我杀了他们
你把那个十字架带给我
糟糕
你记得吃药了吗？
吃了，谢谢
-你等会还去看爵士乐演奏吗？ -不去
糟糕
怎么？
-等会吃顿印度餐吧 -吃了起士，我现在还不饿
-你们怎么在这里？ -你怎么在这里？
-这是怎么回事？ -他怎么样？
-你怎么样？ -被子弹打中了
-按住伤口 -你怎么样？
车呢，在那里？
-你能跑过去吗？ -不，我不会扔下他
听我说，你要呼叫救援 否则他撑不下去的
他怕挨子弹
-别让我挨子弹 -不会的，勇敢点
-好，为我数数 -1，2，3
走
警察受伤，请回话
快
喂，我的鞋在吗？
你们两个到楼上 谁进来就杀了谁
-你去吃屎吧！ -你的朋友来了，你们可以一起死了
头低一点
喂
我要进去了，1，2，3
-干掉了吗？ -他脑袋没了，算吗？
算
喂
喂，喂
吉米，我中枪了
我听见你们在一起说悄悄话
-最好不要在我的房子里亲热 -我们没有，变态
你们来为的就是那个女孩
我只想要我的随身碟 我们做个交易怎么样
-准备好了吗？ -准备好了，我们去大干一场
你这是胡说些什么
-你这是非法侵入，警探 -那就报警吧
报警挺快啊
但我仍然能够 在逮捕我之前杀了她
不要杀人，放了她
给我闭嘴！
你们要想让她活命的话 就把我的随身碟给我
-你说什么？ -现在！
-闭嘴！不闭嘴我就揍你！ -你死定了
我不相信这个混蛋 他就是个笨蛋
你知道你是笨蛋吧？
笨蛋！
让她过来，我们给你随身碟 人人皆大欢喜
你以为我会放弃人质吗？
我要和这女人一起走
知道吗？你们让警察都撤走 在前门为我准备一辆车
-让我走，你这混蛋！ -闭嘴！
他们会干掉你的！
我要打爆你的头 杀了你这么多手下，我们累坏了
你还是趁早投降吧
-瞄准他了？ -对，我瞄准他了
-你们不会开枪的 -他们说什么？
他们叫你闭嘴！
-数到三 -你们不会开枪的
是的，你们没那个胆量
是数到三的时候开枪 还是数完三再开枪？
-数完三再开枪 -你又生气了
-不是本来就数完三才动作？ -你要说清楚，你知道我数学不好的
闭嘴！
-来吧 -你准备好了？
-是的 - 1
-笨蛋！ -把我关在后车厢两天，混蛋！
-你们轻点 -没关系，他们都是专业的
-我一起去吧，看你快不行了 -你留在这里把事情做完吗？
贝瑞
你的靴子很好看！
别怕，你安全了
她了解一切情况，问她就行了
我要吻你
你就像个巧克力
不和吉米吻别吗？
-你去哪里？ -去找我的卡
-警探，等一下，等等 -该死
-你们两个胆子不小啊 -队长
停职了还协助 曼格和亨塞克的调查？
不是的…曼格都对我说了
-他说了？ -队长，我们…
不，你们做的很好，干得好
救了我两个手下的命 你们都配得上战斗十字勋章
-啊 -对不起，保罗
医生，等等，听我说
-我要在尸体上搜寻证据 -一定要戴上手套
拉开
楼上有瑞士起士，去看看吧
你们快点 这些尸体够我忙一周的
给我一点时间就好
很高兴我一枪打在 你的"柯拉蓉"上，普博
"柯拉蓉"是心脏的意思 嘉贝拉教我的
是的
你没有打在他的心脏上
-你打在他的肩上了 -我打在他的心脏上了，胡说什么
打得很准，就在这里
我也中枪了
-我之所以没有 -倒是因为…
这不是我打的
这不是我打的，我是受过训练的
会瞄着动脉血管 这不是我开的枪，吉米
对不起，吉米，我不是故意的
对不起，吉米，对不起
对不起，我不是故意的，吉米
吉米
我们一起祈祷吧
别喝了，喝酒不能消愁 只会越喝越愁
去吃些东西吧
我知道失去帕夫柯棒球卡很痛苦 但我能弄到瑞基杰克森的卡片
潘蜜拉，你好 转一下，让我看看你，漂亮啊
大概只有仙女才能跟你比了
很高兴见到你 再见，潘蜜拉
我们跳舞吧，来
你今天开心吗？ 我们找个地方幽会，就这一次
去你爸爸的房子 在林肯市的后面
-很高兴你心情好 -我心情很好
-我想请你帮个小忙 -好
我希望你和罗伊 一起把爱娃嫁出去
当牧师提到：谁把新娘嫁出去 你和罗伊一起站起来提到：我们
这很公平，毕竟婚礼是他出的钱
-你没糊涂？ -就当是为了我，吉米，你欠我的
假如你不同意，毁了我女儿的婚礼的话 我绝不会饶了你的
-嗨 -嗨
-你需要什么吗？ -不用了
你真美
-喜欢这条项链吗？ -我很喜欢
还有很多种其它的项链
老公，我不希望你老是 买东西给我
我爱你，也原谅了你 只要你别再吃醋就行了
谢谢，我也爱你 你就像小鹿斑比一样美丽可爱
耶和华是我的牧者 我必不至缺乏
他使我躺卧在青草地上 领我在可安歇的水边
他以自己之名引导我走义路
我还是小孩子时，话语像孩子 心思像孩子，意念像孩子
当我长大以后 就要放弃孩子的幼稚了
信，望，爱这三样东西 其中最重要的就是爱
谁把新娘嫁出去？
喂，喂，坐下，坐下 站起来的话，我就把你的肾打掉
还是让他来吧
-谁把新娘嫁出去？ -我
我爱你
(后面还有精彩对话)
(停尸间)
喂
-嗨，亲爱的 -嗨，亲爱的
呃
-我想今晚一起出去吃饭 -我们去哪里吃饭？
你先等一下好吗？谢谢
-有人吗？ -有人吗？
-这是不是恶作剧？ -怎么，你喜欢恶作剧？
敲门，敲门
-你是谁？ -打开
-打开什么？ -打开袋子，混蛋
-你好 -啊！！！
好啊