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-=YTET-伊甸園字幕組=- 翻譯: superclark Yillianov 桃桃 大桉樹 斤欠 校對: 歐屁屁
孩子們都很好
24 26 24, 26.
哦 天哪 Oh, my God.
Joni 你班上的帥哥真多 Joni, there are so many hotties in your class.
你首周就能釣上一個 You are so gonna hook up the first week.
就因為你全天候發春 不代表其他人也一樣 Just because you're a 24-hour drive-thru doesn't mean everyone else has to be.
嘿 她可是很用功才能進的 Hey, she worked her ass off.
應該得到些帥哥的滋潤 She deserves some hot jock sausage.
好惡 齷齪 Gross. That's disgusting.
你們倆幹嗎不做一次就完事啊? Why don't you guys just do it and get it over with?
什麼? 我只是說說 What? I'm just saying.
也許是因為我們是朋友 Maybe because we're friends.
幾何學B-算毛啊 老弟 B minus in geometry, dude.
這玩意才猛呢 This shit is the bomb.
吸吸這玩意吧 Add that shit up.
別像個娘們一樣 老弟 Don't be such a bitch, dude.
是啊 Yeah.
嘿 小兔崽子們! 拜託 一邊胡鬧去 Hey, ladies! Come on, take it down a notch.
嘿! 嘿! 當我的話耳邊風嗎? Hey! Hey! What did I just say, huh?
來啊 來啊 小傢伙 看看你有多大能耐 Come here. Come here, big boy. Let's see what you got.
來啊 扳倒他! Come on, get him!
來啊 你有啥能耐? 讓我看看 來啊 Come on, what you got? Let's see it. Come on.
拜託 老爸 你胳肢窩臭得要命 Come on, Dad. Your pits smell like burnt ass.
- 臭得要命? - 是的 Burnt ass? Yeah.
滾出去 去他家鬧去 Get out of here. Take it to his house.
Laser 別敲了 敲得我心煩 Laser, cut it out. That's driving me crazy.
我沒做什麼 冷靜點 I'm not doing anything. Calm down.
你靜點 You calm down.
嗨 各位 H i, guys.
嗨 親愛的 Hey, babe.
- 好啊 媽媽 - 抱歉 我遲到了 Hey, Mom. Sorry I'm late.
沒事 我們也剛開動 No, don't worry. We just started.
好了 夠了 Come on. That's enough.
哦 天哪 27個纖維瘤 Oh, my God. 27 fibroids.
都排成一線 All in the lining.
真噁心 That's disgusting.
是啊 我們在吃東西呢 Yeah. We're eating.
哇哦 動用了腹腔鏡? Wow. Did they do that laparoscopically?
是的 天才女兒 都取出來了 That's right, smart girl. We got them all.
嗨 外面的卡車是誰的? Hey, whose truck is that?
我的 Mine.
你的? Yours?
很炫吧? Isn't it wicked?
恩恩 Mmm-hmm.
用來做生意的 For the business.
什麼生意? What business?
哦 做園藝嗎? Oh, you mean the gardening?
是園藝設計吧? Isn't it landscape design?
非常感謝 Thank you very much.
我談了個好價錢 這車超便宜 I got a great deal. It was super cheap.
好的 我們還有好酒嗎? Okay. Do we have any more of the Fiddlehead?
不知道 沒找過 親愛的 I don't know. I didn't look, honey.
- 嗨 你好啊 - 呦 好啊 夥計 Hey, what's up? Yo, what's up, dude?
Laser 吃飯時別接電話 好嗎? Laser, no phone calls at the table, all right?
夥計 我把我家的狗剃毛了 Dude, I shaved my dog.
你還在聽嗎? Are you still feeling it?
是的 嗨 一會再打給你 Yeah. Hey, let me hit you back.
一定 For sure.
是誰? Who's that?
沒誰 只是Clay That was nobody. J ust Clay.
能問你個事嗎? Can I ask you something?
你和Clay是什麼關係? What do you get from your relationship with Clay?
什麼什麼"關係"? What do you mean "get"?
我們只是覺得他有點沒家教 Well, we just feel like he's a little untended.
你覺得他對你的成長有益嗎? Do you think he's the kind of person who's gonna help you grow?
嗨 你開始寫那些 生日禮物的感謝卡了嗎? Hey, did you get started on those thank-you notes for the birthday presents?
老媽 你真是個強迫狂 拜託 Mom, you're windshield wiping. Come on.
- 還沒 但我會寫的 - 好的 Not yet, but I will. Okay.
我只是覺得趁早寫比較好 I just think it's better to knock them out when it's fresh.
好的 我今晚就寫 Yeah, I'll do them tonight.
你不想以"抱歉"開頭吧? I mean, you don't want to have to start with an apology. You know?
那就太丟臉了 Then it's embarrassing.
知道了 老媽 Mom, I know.
好了 親愛的 她懂了 It's okay, honey. She got it.
別說了 Let it go.
好的 我不說了 Okay. I'll let it go.
要是你來教的話 I mean, if it was up to you,
我們的孩子連感謝卡都不會寫 our kids wouldn't even write thank-you notes.
他們只會發射祝福光波 You know, they'd just send out good vibes.
你夠損的 That's not nice.
相信我們女兒都18歲了嗎? Do you believe our baby's 18?
是的啊 No, I can't.
你是大姑娘了 You big girl.
大姑娘了 Such a big girl.
大姑娘 大姑娘 Big girl. Big girl.
- 媽媽 - 什麼? Mom. What?
哦 謝謝 Oh. Thank you.
Hey. Hey.
你幹嗎呢? What are you doing?
寫感謝卡 Writing my thank-you notes.
不賴 That's good.
你知道的 你不用以"抱歉"開頭了 You know, you don't have to start with an apology.
是啊 那就丟臉了 Yeah, that'd be embarrassing.
是挺糟的 That's terrible.
你想過打那個電話嗎? Hey, have you thought any more about making that call?
有想過 但我不想打 Yeah, I don't want to.
你都不好奇想知道嗎? How can you not even be curious about it?
你瞧 我就快離家了 不想再弄出什麼麻煩事 Look, I'm leaving soon, and I don't want to have to deal with that right now.
而且那會傷到我們媽媽的 Also, that could really hurt Moms' feelings.
天哪 你幹嘛那麼擔心她們? God, why do you have to worry about them so much?
她們不會知道的 They don't even have to know about it.
等你18歲就能打了 對吧? Look, you can do it when you turn 18, okay?
我可從沒求過你什麼 I never ask you for anything.
我只是不明白你為什麼現在買車 I just don't understand why you bought the truck now.
因為如果我想做這活的話 Because if I'm gonna start this business,
就需要車來裝工具 I need something to haul my equipment in.
好吧 只不過有點心急了 Okay. It just seems a little cart before the horse.
什麼意思? What does that mean?
親愛的 你連客戶都沒呢 Well, sweetie, you don't have any clients yet.
知道嗎 You know,
是你一直教導我要實現"可能"的 you're the one who's always telling me to act "as if."
那倒是 我說過 你是對的 That's true. I do. You're right.
抱歉 抱歉 很高興你買來那車 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's good you bought the truck.
- 主動出擊 - 是啊 It's proactive. Yeah.
嗨 你想看部電影嗎? Hey, you wanna watch a movie?
那種電影嗎? A movie-movie?
是啊 我們有段時間沒做過了 Yeah. We haven't done that in a while.
好吧 All right.
我不喜歡這片裏的男的 You know, I don't like the guys in this one.
刮得太乾淨了 They're too shaved.
別盯著片看啊 Don't focus on it.
好吧 Okay.
該死的 哦 天那 Fuck. Oh, my God.
嗨 嗨 凍死我了 Hey, hey, I'm cold.
我不能呼吸了 親愛的 I can't breathe, honey.
那個... Well...
該死的! Shit!
遙控器在哪? 遙控器在哪? Where's the remote? Where's the remote?
哦 天哪 Oh, my God.
街坊鄰居一定都聽到了 The whole neighborhood heard that.
不會的 No, they didn't.
該死 Shit.
真是掃興啊 That was a vibe kill.
嗨 嗨 Brooke 能幫我個忙嗎? Hey, hey, Brooke, can you do me a favor?
能把唐萵苣遞給我嗎? Can you get that Swiss chard for me?
好的 沒問題 Sure, no problem.
謝謝 Thanks.
- 你好嗎? - 嗨 Paul How are you? Hey, Paul.
嗨 靚女 Hey, foxy.
嗨 Hey.
恩 Mmm.
小煎餅 你聞著好有味啊 Flapjack, you are smelling ripe.
哦 抱歉 Oh, sorry.
沒事 我蠻喜歡的 That's all right. I kind of like it.
- 哦 是嗎? - 大地的味道 Oh, yeah? It's earthy.
剛從果園裏幹活回來 I've been out in the garden hoeing.
- 今晚預約得如何? - 安排得夠緊的 How are we doing tonight? It's gonna be tight.
哦 是嗎? Oh, really?
去幹活吧 Go to work.
回見 See you.
您好? Hello?
- 你好 - 您是Paul Hatfield嗎? Hi. Is this Paul Hatfield?
是的 我是 你是哪位? Yes, it is. Who's this?
我叫Wendy Mitner 我是大西洋精子庫的 My name is Wendy Mitner, and I'm calling from The Pacific Cryobank.
好吧 Wendy Mitner 找我什麼事? Okay, Wendy Mitner. What can I do for you?
我只是需要核實一下 您是Paul Hatfield I just need to confirm that this is the same Paul Hatfield
於1991至1993年間 在我公司捐過精子 that donated sperm with us between 1991 and 1993.
是的 我那時是捐過一點 是的 Yeah, I did a little bit of that back then, sure.
您知道我們設有保密政策 Well, as you know, the Cryobank has a confidentiality policy
如果沒有您的許可 which prohibits us from releasing your identity
我們無法公佈您的信息 without your consent.
不... 是的 是的 我知道 No... Yeah, yeah, yeah, I knew that.
我們接到了一位小姐的電話 Well, we've been contacted
她是用您的精子出生的 by a young woman conceived using your donation,
她詢問是否能和您取得聯繫 and she's asked if you'd be open to having contact with her.
好的 我能理解那樣的請求 行的 Yeah, I'd be conceivably into something like that. Yeah.
很好 Hatfield先生 我會通知她 並很快與您取得聯繫 Great, Mr. Hatfield. I'll let her know and get back in touch soon.
謝謝 Thanks.
哦... Oh...
我是說 我那時才19歲 I mean, I was 19 years old.
N久之前的事 早就忘得一乾二淨了 It was, like, just so long ago. I totally forgot about it.
我從沒想過我的精子會派上用場 I never thought they'd ever use my stuff.
為什麼? Why not?
我就用了 Well, I'd use it.
哦 寶貝 Oh, baby.
這太怪了 It's weird.
我有個孩子 我想我是很好奇了 There's a kid out there. I mean, I'm kind of curious, I think.
- 是嗎? - 是的 Yeah? Yeah.
那你要怎麼做呢? So what are you gonna do?
不知道 換是你會怎麼做? I don't know. What would you do?
不知道 I don't know.
你得好好想想 You got to figure it out.
是啊 Yeah, no doubt.
- 好吧 我得走了 - 好的 All right, I got to go now. All right.
謝謝你能來 感覺太好了 Thanks for coming. It was really nice.
明天見 I'll see you tomorrow.
那麼小心開車 So, drive safe.
M E R "Zoomer"(跳躍者) M- E-R. "Zoomer."
不行 No way.
這都不是個詞 That is so not a word.
不 有這詞 No, it totally is.
- 那不是個詞 - 如果你想跳躍到哪 That's not a word. If you're gonna zoom somewhere,
那你就是個跳躍者 會跳躍的人 then you're a zoomer. A person who zooms.
那這會有... 讓我算算 有31分... So that would be... Let's see, that's 31...
你好? Hello?
你好 我找Joni Allgood Hi. I'm looking for Joni Allgood.
我就是 Yeah, this is she.
嗨 Hey.
我是Paul 你的捐精人 This is Paul, your donor.
媽咪得了11分 Eleven points for Mommy.
哦! 你好 Oh! H i.
嗨 別那麼跳躍 Hey. Don't be a zoomer.
嗨 Hey.
回來玩啊 Come back.
現在方便說話嗎? Is this a good time to talk?
是的 可以說 Yeah. No, this is great.
那你好嗎? 過得好嗎? So, how are you? How are you?
我很好 你呢? I'm good. How are you?
我也好 謝謝 I'm well, thanks.
精子庫的Wendy Wendy at the Cryobank
說起那個也許... was talking about maybe...
哦 是的 Oh, yeah. Well.
事實上是我弟弟求我和你聯繫的 Actually, my brother asked if I'd call you,
因為我18歲了 他才15歲 那個... because I'm 18, and he's only 15, which is,
你知道的 他沒成年不能打 you know, which is too young to call.
不管怎樣他想見見你 Anyway, he'd like to meet you.
如果你願意的話 You know, if you want to.
你弟弟? Your brother?
是的 嚴格來說是我同父異母的弟弟 Yeah. Well, technically he's my half-brother.
我們媽媽一人生了一個孩子 你知道的 用了... Each of my moms had a kid, you know, with...
用了你的... 用了你的精子 With your... With your sperm.
她們倆都用了? Like in both of them?
是的 Yeah.
兩個人? Like in two?
恩 女同志 U h-huh. Like in gay.
哦! 是啊 是啊 那就對了 Oh! Right. Right. Right on.
對啊 酷啊 我... Right on. Yeah, cool. I...
我愛拉拉 I love lesbians.
好啊 那你想要... Great. So you wanna,
一起吃個飯什麼的嗎? 你和你弟弟一起? I don't know, get a bite to eat or something? You and your brother?
我只是不想你的期望過高 I just don't want you to have big expectations.
你能消停一下嗎? 我沒什麼期望 好了嗎? Will you quit saying that? I have no expectations, all right?
好吧 只是提醒一下 他可能是個怪胎 Okay. I'm just saying. He might be weird.
他會捐精誒 那夠怪的 I mean, he donated sperm. That's weird.
如果他不捐 我們就不存在了 所以放尊重點 Well, you know, if he hadn't, we wouldn't be here, so respect.
你好? Hello?
嘿 嘿 Hey. Hey.
- 你是Joni 是嗎? - 你好 我是Joni You're Joni, right? H i, I'm Joni.
- 我是Paul 很高興見到你們 - 很高興見到你 I'm Paul. N ice to meet you. N ice to meet you.
- 你一定是Laser了? - Laser 是的 You must be Laser? Laser, yeah.
是啊 非常酷的名字 Right on. That's a very cool name.
謝謝 Thanks.
那麼... Well...
酷 Cool.
- 是啊 - 是啊 Yeah. Yeah.
你們想問什麼都可以 別介意 Listen, you know, feel free to ask me anything, anything you want.
- 好呀 謝謝 - 嗯 Cool, thanks. Yeah. Cool.
Laser 你有什麼想問的嗎? Laser, do you have any questions that you wanna ask?
說吧 沒關係 任何事 Go ahead, shoot. Anything.
其實我沒有什麼 恩 特別想問的 所以... I didn't really have any, you know, specific questions or anything, so...
沒有? Nothing?
沒有 Not really.
我是說 我想多多瞭解你們 Well, I mean, I'd love to know more about you guys.
所有的事 我是說... Everything. I mean...
那你現在在做什麼 Joni? 你喜歡什麼? So what do you do, Joni? What are you into?
我剛高中畢業 秋季就要上大學了 所以... I just graduated high school, and I'm starting college in the fall, so...
很棒啊 恭喜啊 Hey, that's great. Congratulations.
謝謝 Thanks.
是啊 Joni是家裏的天才 Yeah, Joni's the brains in the family.
她拿到了國家科學貢獻獎學金 She's got the National Merit Scholarship for science.
不會吧 Shut the front door.
好了 Laser 謝了 Okay, Laser, thanks.
我只是告訴 她你很聰明 Wow. I'm just telling him you're smart.
不 只是比你用功了點罷了 No, I just work harder than you.
嗨 Laze 說真的 別把大學看得太重 夥計 Hey, Laze, seriously, don't sweat school, man.
我的成績也不太好 但我現在幹得也不賴啊 是吧? I mean, I didn't do well in school either, and I'm not doing so badly now, right?
我叫Laser 是啊 It's Laser. Yeah.
抱歉 Laser Sorry. Laser. Right.
沒事 It's cool.
那你喜歡什麼 Laser? So, what are you into, Laser?
Laser是個很棒的運動員 Laser's an amazing athlete.
真的嗎? 是嗎? Really? Yeah?
在學校你參加過什麼運動嗎? 還是... Did you ever play any sports in school or...
我初中時打過籃球 I did a little B- ball in junior high.
不錯 就這一項還是... That's cool. Was that it or...
打著打著 覺得"團隊"讓我不太適應 Well, the whole "team" thing just got on my nerves after a while, you know?
比如 大夥兒會一起吼 "給他們點顏色看看!" It was like, "Hey, let's go kick some ass, man! " And...
你呢? What about you?
我踢足球 打籃球和棒球 I play soccer, basketball, baseball.
所有的團隊運動 You know, all the team sort of sports.
嗨 夥計 Hey, man,
我不討厭團隊運動 I wasn't generally bagging on teams.
那是不錯 我只是不太好那口 I mean, teams are great. I'm just weird that way.
我喜歡團隊 很不錯 I like teams. They're cool.
Cool.
這地方是你的嗎? So this is your place, right?
是的 這裏是我開的 很不錯 Yeah, yeah, this is mine. It's cool.
我在這裏幹了一段時間了 You know, I've been working on it for a while.
在街那頭 還有一個合作的有機農場 I also have a little organic co-op farm just up the street here.
讓食物保持有機和本地化 Just keeping it kind of local and organic
簡單原味的美國食品 and simple, American food.
很不錯 我也喜歡 That's so cool. I'm totally into local.
- 是嗎? - 你喜歡? Yeah? You are?
是的 Laser Yeah, Laser.
我一直都想讓媽媽買些本地食品 I've been trying to get Moms, you know, to buy local for ages.
好啊 All right.
- 我們的車就在那 - 是的 We're just over here. There. Right. Yeah.
好的 Okay.
這是你的機車? Is that your bike?
是的 你喜歡摩托車嗎? Yeah, yeah. You like motorcycles?
沒錯 我很喜歡這些東西 Yeah, I love them,
但你也知道 咱媽媽 對摩托車之類的東西有點兒反感 but, you know, our moms are kind of anti-motorcycle.
"有點兒"的意思是 我們敢騎 她們就敢殺了我們 所以... By "kind of" he means that they'd kill us if we ever rode one, so...
噢 那可太糟了 多有趣兒啊 Oh, that's too bad. They're a lot of fun.
確實 肯定很有趣 Yeah, I'm sure.
挺好 Cool.
沒錯兒 Cool. Yeah.
真... 見到你們真高興 It was great... Great meeting you, yeah.
見到你也很高興 N ice to meet you, too.
嗯 那就這樣吧 怎麼樣? Yeah. It's okay, right? Good?
沒問題 Yeah, for sure.
嘿 Laser 見到你真是太好了 Hey, Laser, really nice to meet you.
是啊 我也是 Yeah, you too.
好的 好的 All right. All right.
再見了 So long.
拜拜 Bye.
保持聯繫 嗯 Keep in touch. Yeah.
- 好吧? - 好 Okay? Yeah.
哇喔 我從來沒想到他是這樣的 Wow. I just never pictured him that way, you know?
他又瀟灑又風趣 He was so cool and interesting.
沒錯兒 他還湊合 Yeah, he's all right.
啥叫"還湊合"? What do you mean "all right"?
Laser 是你吵著鬧著要見他 Laser, you're the one who wanted to meet him so bad.
我知道 I know.
對吧 那麼你覺得他怎麼樣? Yeah, so what did you think of him?
我覺得他還湊合 I think he's all right.
有點兒自戀吧? I mean, I think he's a little into himself.
- 上帝啊 - 什麼? God. What?
- 你不是問我的意見嘛 - 隨便你 You're asking my opinion. Whatever.
可不能告訴媽媽們 We are so not telling Moms.
為什麼不呢? Why not?
哈哈 真幽默 Ha, ha. Very funny.
他想死! He wants to die!
他想死 He wants to die.
我得切記 不要在摩洛哥或者烏干達 搞海洛因 Remind me not to take heroin in Morocco. Or Uganda.
沒錯兒 我討厭這種情況 Yeah. I hate it when that happens.
...現在到了該結束的時候了 ...it is now time to call it.
誰把我刀拿走了 把刀還給我! Someone took my knife. I want my knife back!
嘿 小伙子 過來 Hey, bug, come here.
我們在看電視片"鎖定海外" We're watching Locked Up Abroad.
把我的刀還給我! I want my knife back!
嗯 我看過那片子 挺好的 Yeah, I've seen that one. It's good.
你上哪兒去? Where you going?
Clay那兒 Clay's.
早點兒回來 Don't be back late.
知道啦 知道啦 知道啦 I know, I know, I know.
嘿 嘿 走前來個擁抱吧 Hey, hey. Come give us a hug before you go.
擁抱 來嘛 H ugs. Come on.
不 媽 No, Mom.
抱抱她 她盼著吶 Hug her. That's what she's there for.
乾脆叫他過來坐 問個清楚 Maybe we should just sit him down and ask him already.
問啥? "你跟Clay上床了嗎?" What? "Are you and Clay fucking?"
"探索激情" 這個用詞要好些吧 "Exploring" is a better word.
要是他倆真的探索起激情來 可怎麼辦? Yeah, well, so, you know, what if they are "exploring"?
青春萌動的年紀啊 This is the age for that.
我們安之若素就是了 We should be good with that.
應該如此 應該如此 We should. We should.
我就是不明白 跟那傻傢伙 "探索"個啥 I just don't understand why he's exploring with that loser.
還沒搞清事情究竟 不該這麼快就下結論 We don't really know what's going on. We shouldn't jump to conclusions.
我覺得 他其實潛力無限 現在真是太浪費青春了 I feel like he has so much potential. He's just wasting it.
你到底是想說什麼? What are you trying to say?
什麼意思? 什麼叫我到底想說什麼? What do you mean, what am I trying to say?
我只是... 感覺你好像話裏有話 I just, you know, I feel like there's some subtext here.
你說什麼吶? What are you talking about?
"有其母必有其子" 聽說過吧? You know, "like mother, like son"?
我們倆都懵懵懂懂 毫無追求 大把大把"浪費青春" Both of us wandering in the dark, aimless, "wasting our potential."
親愛的 你完全偏題了 Honey, you're on a whole other tangent.
完全不知道你在說什麼 I have no idea what you're talking about.
也許呢 你還沒有意識到這一點 Well, you know, maybe it hasn't risen to the plane of consciousness for you yet.
嗯 也許吧 Yeah. Maybe.
有人把我刀拿走了 Someone took my knife.
他們什麼樣兒? So what were they like?
他們都是特別可愛的孩子 They were really sweet kids.
男孩兒呢 體格健壯 心智特敏感 The boy was this little, you know, kind of sensitive jock-type kid,
小姑娘呢 那麼天真無邪 and the girl was really innocent
而且機靈可愛 冰雪聰明 but just whip-smart and super, super cute.
感覺你很喜歡他們呀 心有靈犀嘛 Sounds like you really liked them, like you guys connected.
是的 似乎真的心靈相通 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I kind of did.
那你接下來要怎麼辦呢? Wow. So how'd you leave it?
你打算再去看他們嗎? I mean, are you gonna see them again?
我... 嘿 Brooke I... Hey, Brooke.
嘿 Paul 看看這些 Hey, Paul. Check these out.
- 最近怎麼樣? - 還不錯 How you doing? Good.
哇喔 看這些草莓啊 Wow, look at those strawberries, man.
它們也太... They're just...
很漂亮是吧? Aren't they beautiful?
我覺得該讓你先嘗嘗 I thought you should have the first taste.
多謝你 Thank you.
"我覺得該讓你先嘗嘗"... 我的小洞洞 "I thought you should have the first taste" of my pussy.
對不起 I'm sorry.
夥計 他們肯定連大麻都不碰 Dude, I don't even think they smoke pot.
夥計 一不做二不休 Dude, hold up.
來吧 我們走 真的 Come on, let's go. Seriously.
喔! 給力! Oh! Dude!
上帝啊 真噁心! 走吧 我們走 God, disgusting! Come on, let's go.
夥計 它還一動一動的呢! It's alive, dude!
放回去 Put it back.
好吧 好吧 好吧 Fine, fine, fine.
太好了! Sweet!
夥計 我們來看看 Dude, we're watching this.
不會從頭到尾都是這樣吧? You think the whole thing's like this?
大概吧... Maybe...
咱快進吧 Maybe we should fast forward.
Laser 怎麼又把自行車 停在機動車道上 Laser, you left your bike in the driveway again.
Laser 你媽媽和我 無條件地愛你並接納你 Laser, your mom and I accept and love you unconditionally.
你很清楚 沒錯吧? You know that, right?
沒錯 Yeah.
你也知道 任何事情 你都可以對我們毫無保留 Yeah. And you know that you can be open with us about anything.
是的我知道 Yeah, I know. Okay.
Laser 有什麼想跟我們聊聊的嗎? Laser, do you want to talk to us about anything?
比方說? Like what?
什麼都行 J ust anything.
你想說什麼都行 You know, anything on your mind.
嗯 確實有些事兒 更確切的說 我有個問題 Well, there is something. But it's more of a question, though.
沒關係的 That's okay.
我們不會有什麼偏見的 We won't judge you.
你們為什麼看 男同志色情片呢? Why do you guys watch gay man porn?
好吧 首先我得說 我們很少看那東西 Well, first I have to say that we rarely watch that movie.
親愛的 Honey.
其次 我確實不贊同 And, second, I really don't appreciate
你窺探我們的房間 好吧? you snooping around our room, okay?
- 是Clay的主意嗎? - 不是 媽 Was that Clay's idea? No, Mom.
等會兒 我再強調一次 我不喜歡他 Wait a minute. I have to say, again, I don't like him.
我知道 我知道 I know. I know.
一看就不靠譜 Okay, he seems unstable.
親愛的 親愛的 他問的不是這個 Honey, honey, that's not what he asked.
你打算回答他的問題? Do you want to answer his question?
是啊 可以啊 Yeah, okay.
寶貝兒 你要知道 人類的性意識是很複雜的 Well, sweetie, you know, human sexuality is complicated.
有些時候 慾望會違背你的直覺 And sometimes desire can be, you know, counterintuitive.
比方說吧 You know, for example,
因為女人的性反應都比較內斂 because women's sexual responsiveness is internalized,
有些時候 看到一些外露的反應 會比較刺激 sometimes it's exciting for us to see responsiveness externalized,
比方說... 比方說陰莖 like with a... Like with a penis.
你們真要看 不也是看女同志嗎? Wouldn't you guys just rather watch girls doing it, though?
你可以這麼想 Well, you would think that.
但是 那種電影一般都找 兩個直女假裝一下 But usually in these movies, they hire two straight women to pretend,
太假了 簡直沒法看 and the inauthenticity is just unbearable.
哇哦 夠了夠了 Whoa, that's enough.
Laser 你媽媽和我意識到 Laser, your mom and I sense
你的生活起了些波瀾 that there's some other stuff going on in your life.
我們只是不想置身事外而已 We just want to be let in.
什麼意思? What do you mean?
你是不是在談戀愛 (跟別人保持某種關係)? Are you having a relationship with someone?
你可以跟我們說 寶貝兒 我們會理解你 支持你的 You can tell us, honey. We would understand and support you.
我只見過他一次 Look, I only met him once.
什麼叫"一次"? What do you mean once?
- 他是在線搜索到你的? - 等下 Did he find you online? Wait.
- 什麼? - 到底是誰? 只見了誰一次? What? Wait, wait, who did you meet once?
- Paul - Paul? Paul是誰? Paul. I met him with Joni.
我跟Joni見的他 Paul? Who's Paul?
- 怎麼還扯到Joni? - 她一手安排的 Why was Joni there? She set it up.
等下 先別管誰安排的 Paul是誰? Wait, forget the set-up. Who's Paul?
我們的精子捐獻者 Our sperm donor.
你們難不成覺得我也彎了? Did you guys think I was gay?
不 No.
不可能 No way.
當然不會 Of course not.
我們理解 你們會好奇 想知道生父是誰 Yeah, I mean, we understand that you'd be curious about your biological father.
這完全正常 I mean, it's completely natural.
但為什麼不告訴我們呢? But why didn't you tell us?
因為我們知道 你們會不開心 Because we knew you'd be upset.
- 哪有不開心 - 一點兒也沒有 We're not upset! No, no, no.
沒有不開心 只是希望 這樣的事 也跟我們聊聊嘛 We're not. We wish that you'd included us in the conversation.
如此而已 That's all.
但是... 但是既然 你們都見到他了 也挺好 You know? But... But you met him, and that's cool.
見完了 大家就接著過日子吧 And now, we can move on.
我倒是挺想再見他一次 Actually, I want to see him again.
還想見? You do?
是的 我本來打算告訴你的 Yeah, I was gonna tell you.
嗯 不行 聽見了嗎? 不可以 Well, no. Okay? No way.
我們沒見到他之前 誰也不許去見他 No one's seeing anyone until we meet him.
我明白啊 他是親爹唄 I get it, okay? He's their biological father and all that crap.
但感覺真他媽不好 But it still feels really shitty.
就好像我們這樣還不滿足 你明白嗎? Like we're not enough or something, you know?
我當然理解 你也知道 我不... Of course I know. You know, I don't...
我不想跟任何人 按時段分享我們的孩子 I don't want to time-share our kids with anybody.
尤其這又趕上 Joni最後一個待在家的暑假 Especially when it's Joni's last summer at home.
沒門兒 No way.
上帝啊 Jules! Jesus, Jules!
水管工剛剛來清洗過 太噁心了 The plumber was just here. God, it's gross.
我們得多留幾個心眼兒 Look, we have to be smart about this.
如果搞得像潑婦一樣 只會更糟 You know, if we act like grubby bitches, we're just gonna make it worse.
我明白 I know.
我們就以柔克剛 把這事兒安頓好 Let's just kill him with kindness and put it to bed.
我聽你的 親愛的 I'm with you, honey.
我們一起把這事兒擺平 好嗎? We're gonna get through this, okay?
我愛你 小雞 I love you, chicken.
我也愛你 小馬 I love you, too, pony.
- Paul 見到你真高興 - 嗯 是啊 Paul. It's so great to meet you. H i. Yeah.
見到你我也很高興 Great to meet you, too.
- 嘿 我是Jules - 你好 Jules Hey. Jules. Hello, Jules.
- 我是Nic - 你好 Nic I'm Nic. Hi, Nic.
你好 Hi.
估計不至於太堵車吧 I hope the traffic wasn't too bad.
我騎摩托車來的 基本上 是從車流中穿梭而過 No, I took my motorcycle, so I pretty much just weave through it.
哦 那真不錯 Oh, great.
我給你們帶了這個來 I brought you this.
不知道你們喝不喝酒 I don't know if you folks drink wine.
噢 別提了 我們愛死紅酒了 Oh, no, are you kidding? We love it.
哇喔 是佩蒂席拉葡萄酒 你太客氣了! Wow, a Petite Sirah. What a treat!
86年的 '86.
我去拿酒杯 Yeah. I'll get some glasses. All right.
Yeah. Wow.
- 房子很漂亮 - 啊 多謝了 多謝 Beautiful house. Yeah, thanks. Thanks.
你們在這兒住很久了? You guys been here a long time?
是的 大概有十年了 Yeah. You know, about 10 years.
上帝啊 已經那麼久了? God, has it been that long? I mean...
那是... 對 你認識他們 對對 That's... Yeah. You know them, yeah.
嘿 Joni 你好啊? Hey, Joni. How you doing?
- 還不錯 你呢? - 還好 Good, how are you? Good.
- 你好 哥們兒 - 你好 Hey, man. Hey.
哥們兒 怎麼樣? What's up, man?
你還好吧? You okay?
是的 是啊 不錯 Yeah. Yeah, great.
少喝點兒酒 親愛的 大白天呢 Go easy on the wine, hon. It's daytime.
恩 雞毛蒜皮的事兒 你也別管太多啊 Okay. Same goes for the micromanaging. Okay?
Paul 你是不是一直都知道... So, Paul, did you always know that...
好好 Yes.
...自己想幹食品服務行業? ...that you wanted to be in the food services industry?
我一直都很喜歡吃的 I always liked food.
Oh, yeah.
不是 我之所以這麼問 是因為想起我當時看你檔案 No, I was asking because I remember when I was reading your file,
當時我們在尋找... back when we were looking for,
合適的... 捐精者 you know, sperm...
- 土豆沙拉遞給我好嗎 寶貝? - 好 Can I have the potato salad, babe? Sure.
當時檔案上寫著 主修國際關係 Anyway, you said that you were studying international relations.
哇 那真是... 很久以前了 Oh, yeah. Wow, that was a... That was a long time ago.
沒錯 我考慮過一直學下去 但後來還是退學了 Yeah, I was considering it, but then I dropped out of school.
不讀大學了? You dropped out of college?
是的 我實在不是這塊料 Yeah, it just wasn't my thing.
- 怎麼會? 幹嗎這麼說呢? - 我不知道 No? Why's that? I don't know.
讀了一陣子 覺得無異於浪費錢 It just seemed like a massive waste of money after a while, you know?
整天在教室傻坐著 聽教授口若懸河 I was just sitting on my ass listening to people spout ideas
講的那些東西 直接看書不就得了 I could just as easily have learned in a book.
Oh.
Okay.
我並不是說 I'm not saying that, you know,
我就因此覺得 高等教育全都沒用 I think that higher learning uniformly blows.
我覺得 大學教育 對一部分人來說很有好處 You know, I think college is great for some people.
Joni 你會喜歡大學的 Joni, I'm sure you're gonna love it.
但是... 我是個行動主義者 我邊干邊學 But just... I'm a doer. That's how I learn.
我生來就那樣 也許是挺怪 It's just me. I'm weird that way, I guess. Thank you.
也許正因為此 我才做食品服務行業 Which is probably why I'm in the food services industry.
沒錯 Right.
媽 你發現了沒? Hey, Mom, you see what he did there, right?
你說"食品服務行業" You said "food services industry,"
他才說"食品服務行業" so then he said "food services industry."
嗯 我知道 Laser 多謝 Yeah. I got that, Laser. Thanks.
那麼 Paul 你的... So, Paul, what about your...
你的社交生活如何? What about your social life?
我的社交生活? My social life?
對 結婚了嗎? 還是離了? 有對象嗎? Yeah, you know, are you married, divorced, seeing anyone?
- 媽 - 怎麼了? Mom. What?
- 想多瞭解一下Paul嘛 - 沒關係的 We're getting to know Paul. It's okay.
沒關係的 我... 沒結過婚 也沒離過婚 No, no, it's okay. I... No, I've never been married nor divorced.
偶爾約會幾次 I date sometimes,
但目前 生活重心還是經營餐廳 but I'm really just kind of focused on my restaurant right now.
說的也有理 Well, that's... Yeah. Makes sense.
乾杯吧 So, cheers.
好 乾杯 Yeah. Cheers.
話說 真是好酒啊 Excellent wine, by the way.
謝謝 Thank you.
再問一下 你多大年齡了? How old are you again?
你肯定是家裏專門負責查戶口的 You must be the griller of the family.
沒錯 Yeah.
不 沒關係 No, that's okay.
積極一點兒我覺得挺好 I like to be positive.
對啊 Yeah.
你們倆是怎麼遇到的? So how'd you two meet?
我們相遇在UCLA的校園 We met at UCLA.
我當時是個住院醫生 I was a resident,
Jules遇到了點緊急情況 and Jules had an emergency.
我舌頭當時麻了 My tongue was numb.
- 是麼? 你的舌頭? - Laser Really? Your tongue? Laser.
噢 上帝啊 Oh, my God.
別掃興嘛 It's not nice.
你才掃興 這故事聽了千萬遍了 No, that's not nice. I mean, we've heard that story 100, 000 times.
- 你舌頭怎麼了? - 我不知道哇 What happened to your tongue? I don't know.
我的臉啊 舌頭啊 完全失去知覺 I mean, I lost all the feeling in my face and my tongue.
我就非常擔心啊 擔心自己會窒息 And then, you know, I got really nervous 'cause I thought that I was gonna gag
搞不好還會... and, you know, maybe like...
噎住? 掛掉? Choke? Die?
對啊 沒錯 Yeah, exactly.
你怎麼幫她的? What'd you do to help her?
我給了她一片兒安定 I gave her a Valium,
讓她放鬆 試著讓她說出話來 and I told her to relax and tried to get her to talk,
- 讓她的舌頭動起來 - 對 you know, move her tongue around. Yeah.
她就開始揶揄我 不過確實有效果 Actually, she started teasing me, and that really helped.
想讓你分散注意嘛 I was trying to distract you.
我知道 很有用 你當時可有意思了 I know. It worked. You were really funny.
你那時候真漂亮 You were really pretty.
然後呢 我的舌頭慢慢恢復了 And then, you know, my tongue started working again.
- 是的 - 上帝啊 媽 行了 Sure. God, Mom, please.
嗯 Yeah.
從那以後 咱就形影不離了 Wow, we've been glued at the hip ever since.
那是一定啊 Yeah. No doubt.
是的 真棒 好故事 Yeah. Great. Great story.
嗯 我們喜歡這個故事 Yeah, we like it.
Nic 你是個醫生 我瞭解了 So, N ic, you, you're a doctor, I know that.
那你呢 Jules? But what are you into, Jules?
在忙什麼? What do you do?
恩 我呢 大學讀的建築學 Well, you know, I mean, I studied architecture in college.
不錯啊 Right.
但我沒有入這行 But I'm not really an architect.
我是說 在我成為建築師之前 I mean, I was on my way to becoming one,
孩子們降臨了 but I quit before the kids were born.
真不巧 That happens.
等他們慢慢長大了點 And then when they got a little bit older,
我就開始做巴厘島傢俱進口的生意 I started a Balinese furniture import business.
很給力啊 Right on.
但生意也不景氣 But that didn't really work out.
是啊 做生意不容易 Yeah, businesses aren't easy.
的確是 Yeah.
不過 現階段我正打算重新創業 But I'm in the process of starting a new business.
很好啊 是什麼生意? Great, good for you. What's that?
景觀設計 不是園藝 Landscape design. I mean, you know, not gardening.
有園藝的成分 I mean, you know, there's a gardening component,
但是旨在創造一個獨具匠心 but, really, the real work is in creating unique,
自然環保的空間 eco-friendly spaces that, you know, the surrounding,
與自然融為一體 that blend, you know, with the surrounding environment.
聽的明白嗎? You know what I mean?
明白 Definitely.
基本都明白了 Most definitely. Yeah.
Joni 跟Paul說過你的畢業演講嗎? Hey, Joni, did you tell Paul about your graduation speech?
不 她還沒告訴我 No, she didn't tell me.
真是充滿智慧 鼓舞人心 It was so full of wisdom and hope.
Yeah.
嘿 去拿來 Hey, go get it.
我敢打賭Paul會喜歡的 You know, I bet Paul would like to hear it.
不 媽 我肯定他不喜歡 No, Mom, I'm sure he wouldn't.
不 不 不 他當然會 No, no, no, sure he would.
快 去拿來 Go on, go get it.
不 我才不要 No, I don't want to.
甜心 別害羞 Sweetie, don't be embarrassed.
媽媽 我沒害羞 天哪 別逼我行不行 Mom, I'm not embarrassed. Jesus, give it a rest. J ust let it go.
我去拿些冰淇淋 I'm gonna get some ice cream.
我幫你 I'll help. Okay.
親愛的 這是第四杯了 Honey, it's your fourth glass.
事實上 是第三杯 還是謝謝你替我數著 Actually, it's my third. But, you know, thanks for counting.
嘿 我在想 Hey, I was... You know, I was thinking.
我去年買了塊地... I just bought this place last year, and it's...
後院還是一片狼藉呢 I mean, the backyard's a wreck.
你有興趣來幫我修整一下嗎? Would you be interested in maybe coming and doing some work for me?
恐怕... That's okay.
我是說真的... No, seriously. I can't...
我自己沒那空閒... I don't have time to do it myself and...
謝謝你邀請我 Well, I mean, that's really sweet of you,
但你真要好好想想 but you should think about it, you know.
為什麼呢? 我說都說了 No, why? I just did.
如果你不願意 也沒關係 I mean, it's all right if you're not up for it. It's okay.
不 我願意 No, I am. I'm up for it. Yeah.
- 是嗎? 是嗎? - 嘿... Yeah? Yeah? Hey...
好的 All right.
Okay.
不錯 Great.
真棒 Excellent.
還挺巧哈 Right on. Yeah.
咱不是說好了嗎 別讓他過多地介入我們的生活 I'm just saying, the plan was to limit his involvement.
我搞不懂了 你不是一直希望我談到客戶嗎? You're unbelievable. I mean, you're all about me getting clients.
如今客戶來了 你卻說 "不 他不行" And then I get a client, and you're like, "Oh, no, not him."
對 但他不只是客戶 Jules Yeah. But he's not just a client, Jules.
是他捐的精子啊 He's our sperm donor.
你沒聽過一句話嗎? "別在吃飯的地方拉屎" I mean, haven't you heard the expression "don't shit where you eat"?
聽過 真令人作嘔 Yes, and I think it's disgusting.
好吧 我道歉 可他自我感覺也太好了吧 Okay, I'm sorry. Look, he just seemed so self-satisfied to me.
知道嗎? You know?
是啊 轉行轉得太給力了 Yeah, he was working the "alternative" thing pretty hard.
天吶 你沒聽他說嘛 Oh, my God. When he said that thing about,
"我得去外頭闖一闖 可不能整天死讀書" "Oh, I just need to get outside and do things, not sit on my ass and learn.
"我生來就那樣 是挺怪的" "But that's just me, you know. I'm weird that way."
我會清理一下這些草叢 實在是... 太荒廢了 I'd certainly clean up a lot of this grass. It's pretty... It's wasted.
好的 Sure.
薰衣草很漂亮啊 The lavender is so nice.
這裏光照那麼好 And with the sun that you have, that and, like, that rosemary,
到處都會長滿迷迭香 你都不用太操心 which kind of grow everywhere, and you wouldn't even have to think about it. Yeah.
可以做成秘密花園的風格 搭點棚子架子的 You could go like a whole, like, Secret Garden, kind of a trellis-y,
若隱若現嘛 like hidden kind of thing.
或者呢 走走亞洲風格 Or you could, you know, you could go like Asian-y.
極簡風格 搞點石頭 特乾淨的那種 Minimal. You know, like rocks and kind of all clean and...
你想怎麼樣都可以 Whatever you think.
恩 你覺得呢? Well, what do you think?
我倒覺得 極簡風格還真委屈了 You know what? I'm not... I'm not feeling minimal.
真的 多多益善 I really... I'm really liking more is more.
別把這地當成小羊來馴啊 You know? I mean, let's not try to tame this space, okay?
多好呀 枝繁 葉茂 又豐饒 Let's just let it be like lush,overgrown, fecund.
豐饒 Fecund.
就是肥沃呀 Like fertile, yeah?
豐饒這詞兒我喜歡 只是人們不常說 No, I love that word. You just, you don't hear people use it very often.
對 No, yeah.
行啊 多多益善 我喜歡 Yeah, more is more. Yeah, I like that.
那就開工吧 Right on. Let's do that.
- 我很抱歉 - 什麼? I'm sorry. What?
不停地在你臉上看到我孩子的表情 I just keep seeing my kids' expressions in your face.
- 真的? - 是啊 Really? Yeah.
就像這樣"真的?" "對" 像極了Laser Like that. Like, "Really?" Like, yeah. That's like Laser.
Hmm.
Well...
你喜歡平台嗎? Do you like patios?
嗯 平台不錯 可以啊 Yeah, patios are good. Okay.
哦 Yeah.
- 可以在那裏做一個平台 - 哪兒? We could put a patio up there. Where?
去看看 Let's take a look.
你好 捐精爸爸? 帥大叔一個嘛 Hello. Donor Dad? Stone cold fox.
美好的事物 從你嘴裏說出來 咋就那麼不中聽呢 Must you take everything beautiful and make it dirty?
行了 Okay.
說說罷了 這親爹可真夠精神的 I'm just saying. Spermster's a hottie.
單身嗎? Is he single?
首先 你快別噁心我了 Okay. First of all, ew,
其次 他人很好 and second, he's a really good person.
瞧你那一身髒勁兒 可別玷污了他啊 So I'd prefer it if you didn't taint him with your whore juice.
說得有理 我先走了 Fair enough, hairy muff. I'm out of here.
你們這對小情侶讓我無地自容了 You lovebirds can split my letters.
要繼續玩嗎? Do you want to keep playing?
當然 Sure.
Okay.
有時候我挺為Sasha難過的 Sometimes I feel sorry for Sasha, you know?
Yeah.
好像每件事她都能往那方面想 It's like she has to sexualize every experience, you know?
挺糟糕的吧 It's just sad.
我知道 真的 不太好 Yeah. Yeah, I know. That's sad.
來啊 Oh, come on.
比分怎麼樣? Hi ya, what's the score?
不分伯仲 Pretty close.
- 啊? - 20比3 賽點了 Yeah? 20 to three. Match point.
跟他聊得怎麼樣? So how'd it go today?
還不錯 我們決定了大方向 It was good. We settled on a concept.
哦 是什麼? Ah. What is it?
就是 恩.. Well, you know, it's kind of...
真的很難解釋 It's kind of hard to explain.
應該實地去看看 You really have to see the space.
好吧 Laser 你給Pup-pup寫祝福卡了嗎? Okay. Hey, Laser, did you write the get-well card for Pup-pup?
Laser 拜託 Laser, come on.
我還要做什麼? 我給你買了賀卡 在桌上放好 What do I have to do? I bought you the card. I put it on your desk.
你只要在上面簽個名 All you have to do is sign it.
媽 消停一會兒吧 我會做好的 Mom, just settle down, okay? I'll do it.
輪不到你叫我消停 先生 Hey. You don't tell me to settle, mister.
要是明早還沒放到郵箱裏 If it's not in the mail by tomorrow morning,
我們就不去看道奇隊的比賽了 we're not going to the Dodger game Saturday, okay?
隨便 我也另有計劃 Whatever. I have other plans anyways.
什麼計劃? What other plans?
我在問你呢 I asked you a question.
我約了Paul了 行嗎? 真是的 I said I'd do something with Paul, okay? God!
媽的 Shit!
我可不認為這是個好主意 I believe this might not be such a good idea.
- 在錄了嗎? - 對 Are you filming? Yeah.
- 他不會成功的 - 你不會成功的 Clay He's not gonna make that. You're not gonna make that, Clay. No way.
我們做點其他的吧 Let's do something different.
你可別給我臨陣脫逃啊 好好錄 Will you quit being such a choch and run the camera?
我只做一次 給我他媽的錄好了 I'm only doing this once, so keep my shit in frame.
好吧 All right.
我準備好了 All right, I got it.
靠! 夥計! Shit! Dude!
- Clay 你還好吧? - 操! Clay, are you all right? Fuck!
- 你錄下來了嗎? - Clay 沒摔傷吧 夥計? Did you get it, dude? Clay, you all right, bro?
- 認真問你 還好吧? - 我他媽好極了! 操! Seriously, are you okay? I'm fucking fine! Fuck!
媽的 你錄了沒? Did you fucking get it? God!
是啊 錄了 Yeah, I got it.
- 我操 - Clay... Fuck, dude. Clay...
這他媽太瘋狂了 That was fucking crazy.
你家在哪 Clay 這兒嗎? Where's your place, Clay, up here?
對 靠右邊的 Yeah, right here on the right.
真不錯 恩? This is good. Cool here?
是啊 Yeah.
自己小心 You take care. Later.
再見 See you.
我們等他進屋再走 Let's wait till he gets to the house.
或許下次應該我們兩個自己出去 Maybe we could hang out together just you and me next time.
Clay人挺好啊 ... 就是血氣方剛了點 Clay's cool. He just... You know, he gets a little amped sometimes.
那怎麼叫血氣方剛呢 太傻了 That's not amped, man. That's being a tool.
他不傻 好嗎? 這就是他的風格 No, he's not a tool, okay? That's just his way.
好吧 我不喜歡他跟你說話的口氣 Yeah, I don't like the way he was talking to you at all.
你又不是很瞭解他 Well, you know what? You don't know him very well, do you?
你只和他相處了一回 I mean, you hung out with him once.
你說得對 我不瞭解他 You're right. I don't know him.
問你個事兒行嗎? Can I ask you something?
當然 Sure.
為什麼捐精子? Why'd you donate sperm?
看上去可比獻血有趣多了 It just seemed like a lot more fun than donating blood.
我想助人為樂 No, I loved the idea of helping people.
幫助那些想要孩子卻無能為力的人們 People who were in need, you know, wanted to have kids and couldn't.
你這麼做 就為了助人為樂? So then you did it to help people?
很久以前的事了 It was a long time ago.
你得了多少報酬? How much did you get paid?
你為什麼想知道? Why do you want to know that?
好奇而已 I'm just curious.
一次...60美元 I got paid 60 bucks a pop.
這麼少? That's it?
那時來說 可是很大一筆了 Well, it was, like, a lot of money to me at the time.
現在通貨膨脹 漲到90了 And with inflation, it's like $90 today.
Hey.
我很高興我做了 I'm glad I did it.
哇 Whoa.
在弄什麼? What's this?
來 過來 H i. Come here.
過來 坐下 Come here. Sit down.
我為我最近的煩躁刻薄表示抱歉 I'm sorry that I've been so edgy lately, you know.
我知道我沒有控制好自己 I know I haven't been my highest self.
是啊 Yeah.
但你對我一再容忍 And you've been really patient with me.
我想說 我已經意識到這個問題 好嗎? And I just want you to know that that hasn't gone unrecognized, okay?
水怎麼樣? How's the water?
很棒 一起嗎? It's perfect. You wanna come in?
等會兒 你先洗吧 In a minute. You enjoy it first.
我忘記放薰衣草浴鹽了 I forgot the lavender bath salts.
- 我無所謂 - 不 不 不 Oh, I don't care. No, no, no.
我去拿 我專門買的 I wanna get them. I got them special.
別走 別 Don't go. Don't.
不動哦 我馬上回來 Don't move. I'll be right back.
Nic? Nic?
嘿 Nic? Hey, Nic?
上帝! Jesus!
U h-huh.
好 我明白了 Right. No, I understand.
我知道腹痛的位置 但聽起來不像宮縮 I understand where the pain is, but it doesn't sound like a contraction.
我覺得是脹氣 對不起 It sounds more like gas. I'm sorry.
操! Fuck!
恩 好的 Right. Okay.
就照我說的做吧 您不用太擔心 All right, this is our plan. I don't think you should worry,
如果沒有緩解 您再打電話給我 and I think you should just call me back if it continues.
確定不要咖啡? You sure you don't want any coffee?
不 謝謝 No thanks.
好的 It's good.
沒關係 I'm all right.
我想 我明天準備去苗圃看下 But I think I'm gonna go to the nursery tomorrow,
這個葉子花的方案 你得先給我批了 so I want you to sign off on this Bougainvillea.
沒問題 Sure.
這是什麼? 你做的? What is this? Did you make it?
對 就地取材 做了些派 Yeah. That's some pie I made. It's right from my garden.
草莓餡兒的 It's strawberry-rhubarb.
來 嘗嘗 Here. Try.
恭敬不如從命 Yeah, okay. Twist my arm.
- 天吶 - 味道不錯吧? Oh, my God. It's good, huh?
- 欲罷不能啊 - 多吃點 That's criminal. Have some more.
不 不 把它端走吧 No. No, please, just take it away.
來吧 Come on.
- 你只吃了一口 - 不 不 如果我多吃一口 You had one bite. No, if I have one more,
你就只能從我菊花回收了 因為全塞我肚子裏去了 you're gonna have to tape it to my ass 'cause that's where it's gonna end up.
嘿 別虐待自己了 那可不是理由 Hey now, don't go negative on your ass. No reason for that.
那我就用葉子花了? You're good with the plants, then?
我可以調整的 'Cause, you know, I can change it.
如果你不喜歡 我們改其他的 If you're not happy with it, we can do something else.
- 不 不 我 - 你喜歡什麼樣 都能量身定做 No. No, no. I'm... We can get whatever you want, you know?
我就是考慮考慮 I'm just thinking.
恩... 我很喜歡 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I'm good with them. They're great.
Oh.
它們很美 They're great.
抱歉 我把沉默當成批評了 Sorry. Sometimes I mistake silence for criticism.
我沒責怪你 I wasn't criticizing you.
我知道 我只是... No, no, I just, you know...
有時候Nic有點吹毛求疵 因為她是個完美主義者 Sometimes Nic can be a little critical 'cause she's a perfectionist.
你為什麼要那樣想呢? Well, I don't see why you'd take it that way.
我覺得你很...能幹 I think you're really talented.
真的? Really?
真的 Really.
打擾一下? Excuse me, se駉ra?
有事? Yeah?
5... 00.
好的 謝了 Okay, thanks.
明天這時候? Same time tomorrow?
對 明天這時候 Yeah. Same time tomorrow.
晚安 Good night.
謝謝 晚安 謝謝 Thank you. Okay, good night. Thank you.
Whew!
我也該走了 I should get going, too.
明天這時候? Same time tomorrow?
- 別貧了 - 拿著這個 That's mean. Take this.
不 我不要 No. U h-uh. I don't want it.
- 拿著 - 不 Take it. No.
- 給孩子們的 - 不 不要了 For the kids. No. I don't want it.
拿著吧 Come on.
你也太會推銷啦 No. God, you are such a pusher.
Oh!
Wow. Okay.
我也不知道怎麼回事 對不起 真的很對不起... I don't know where that came from. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I...
Jules Jules.
我馬上就走... I'm gonna just go and...
沒關係 It's okay.
不 我只是... No, I just...
沒關係 沒關係 It's okay. It was okay.
現在我要回去啦 But I shall return!
What?
今天和Paul怎麼樣? So how'd it go with Paul today?
你說什麼? What do you mean?
你們犁地了還是掘土了? 我不知道專業術語怎麼說 Well, did you break ground? Did you dig in? I don't know the terms.
我們就概念性地聊了聊 We just talked, conceptually.
Oh, wow.
沒啥實質性進展嗎? 他覺得這樣沒問題? So it was less of a "doing" day? Was he okay with that?
我看 咱別那麼關注Paul的事兒了 You know, I think we should lay off the Paul digs a little.
好啊 Oh, okay.
我想過了 地裏該堆一些肥 And I also think we should start composting.
來 戴上這個 Hey, take this.
多謝 Thanks.
別曬黑了 You got that fair skin.
你可沒我皮厚 You don't have my peasant blood.
不理它 Ignore.
誰打來的? Who's that?
Nic老媽 快被她逼瘋了 My mom, N ic. She's driving me crazy.
是嗎? 她怎麼你了? Yeah? What's she doing?
當我是12歲小孩啊 She's treating me like I'm 12.
我看她是不想承認 我都成年了 It's like she doesn't want to admit that I'm an adult.
她是你媽呀 當媽的就是操心的命 Well, that's your mom. That's her job.
管得我一點自由都沒有嗎? 那也太操心了 What? To smother me to death? That's not her job.
如果不想再這樣下去 得自己爭取 If you want things to be different, you got to do that,make that happen yourself.
你也得替自己操操心嘛 That's your job.
Yeah.
喜歡辣椒嗎? Do you like peppers?
嗯 Yeah.
謝了 Thanks.
哪能啊 夥計 差了20碼呢 There's no way, dude. You missed it by, like, 20 feet.
要是Paul不在場 我准成功 Well, if Paul wasn't there, I could have made it.
那哥們兒 嚇到我了 That guy creeps me out.
看起來有點彎啊 想表現得像你爸爸 He's kind of a fag, dude, trying to act like your dad and shit.
隨你怎麼說 Whatever, all right?
嘿 夥計 Hey, buddy. Hey.
我以前在附近見過這狗 估計是走丟了吧 I've seen this dog around here before. I think he's lost.
咱往它頭上撒泡尿吧 Let's pee on his head.
什麼? 不行 What? No.
你要幹嗎? Where you going?
你到底要幹嗎? Dude, what are you doing?
你只管穩住它 Dude, just hold him.
別鬧了行嗎 Dude, quit it.
"別鬧了行嗎" "Dude, quit it."
快跑 去那兒玩吧 快去 Go on, get out of here! Go!
你怎麼那麼娘娘腔? Why are you such a fag?
你也太他媽操蛋了 Why are you such a fucking dick?
- 這頂帽子很襯你 - 謝謝 That hat looks good on you. Thanks.
- 送你了 - 謝謝 Keep it. Thank you.
從沒坐過摩托車? Never been on a bike?
嗯 Mmm-mmm.
從沒 Never.
你得戴上這個 You got to wear one of these.
好 Okay.
坐穩 抓緊了 You've got to hold on tight right there.
要走咯 準備好了嗎? Here we go. You ready?
- 好了 - 確定? I'm ready. You sure?
嗯 Yeah.
寶貝別擔心 該回來自然會回的 Hey, babe, relax. She'll be back when she gets back.
別安慰我了好嗎? 夠了 Quit telling me to relax. Okay?
搞什麼搞? What the fuck?
哇哦 剛好有人忘了告訴我 Wow. Funny how someone conveniently forgot to tell me
他們是騎摩托車回來的 that they were driving home on a motorcycle.
你知道我在醫院見過多少人 Do you know how many people I've seen come into the hospital paralyzed
因摩托車事故而癱瘓嗎? from motorcycle accidents?
我騎車很安全 Nic I'm a very safe driver, N ic.
我完全不是在說這個 Paul Yeah, that is so not the point that I'm making, Paul.
Joni知道這是我絕對不能容忍的 Joni knows that this is something I'd just never allow.
媽媽 我已經18歲了 Mom, I'm 18 years old.
是嗎? Yeah?
一個月內我就會離開家了 I won't even be living here in, like, a month.
至少你現在還住這裏吧 Yeah, well, you're living here now. Yeah?
你就不能提前當我不在嗎? Well, why don't you get a jump on it and pretend like I'm not?
她從來沒對我這麼衝過 She's never talked to me like that before.
如果你少限制她一點 You know, if you backed off a little bit on the restrictions,
也許衝突也會少一點 you probably wouldn't have so much conflict.
噢是嗎? 你是這麼想的嗎? Oh, really? You think so, Paul? Is that how it works?
怎麼了? What's going on?
沒事 沒事 Oh, nothing. Nothing.
Paul正在給我上育兒課 Paul's just giving me some child-rearing lessons.
我只是說... I'm just saying...
聽著 等你養過18年的孩子 再來教育我 明白? Listen, when you've been a parent for 18 years, you come and talk to me, okay?
我只是建議一下 I'm just making an observation.
我可不需要你那多餘的鳥建議! Yeah? Well, I need your observations like I need a dick in my ass!
Joni? Joni?
寶貝 我很生氣 Honey. Look, I was upset, okay?
你知道我不能忍受摩托車 You know how I feel about motorcycles.
是的 我知道你的感覺 Yeah, I know how you feel about them.
可是我已經是成年人了 請尊重我的感覺 好嗎? But I'm an adult now, and you have to respect that, okay?
晚安 Good night.
這裏? 行嗎? Good? Good?
嗯 非常好 謝謝 Yeah, that's perfect. Thanks.
嗨 Paul Hey, Paul.
嗨 Jules 怎麼了? Hey, Jules. What's up?
沒什麼 想為昨晚的事道歉 It's all right. I just wanted to say I'm sorry about last night.
- 沒事... - 我也很尷尬 Hey... I was really embarrassed.
不是你的錯 是她太激動了 Hey, it wasn't you. It was her who wigged out.
她最近挺不好受 I think she's, you know, she's just having a really hard time.
你懂的 You know?
說真的 你不必為她說話 Yeah. You really don't have to defend her. Seriously.
還有那次的吻 你知道 那不是我本意 And about that kiss, that's... You know, I don't do that.
我知道 I completely sensed that, yeah.
所以... So...
我只是想澄清一下 I just wanted to clear the air.
澄清了 The air is cleared.
很明白 No, it's clear.
不 Paul 不行 No, Paul, I can't!
為什麼? 你不想? Why? You don't want to?
不 外面還有個人 No, I have a guy outside!
噢 是的 那傢伙 Oh, yeah. Right, the guy.
噢 天 Oh, God.
等會 等等 Okay, wait. Wait.
哇哦! 瞧瞧! Well! Hello!
Yeah! Yeah!
- 別這麼用力 - 好的 好的 Okay, not so hard. Not so hard. Okay.
什麼? What?
Oh, my God! Yeah?
來吧 Come on.
打擾了 Excuse me?
他媽的 開什麼玩笑 You gotta be fucking kidding me!
哦 天吶 天吶 Oh, God. Oh, God.
太太 打擾一下? Excuse me, se駉ra?
- 真他媽不敢相信 - 好吧 I can't fucking believe it. Okay.
你得去和他講講 要跟他說嗎? You gotta go talk to him. Are you gonna go talk to him?
- 好的 擦 - 神吶 Okay. Fuck. Oh, God.
媽的 Shit.
- 對不起 打擾一下? - 來了! Excuse me, se駉ra? Okay!
怎麼了? Hey, what's up?
你想把石頭放哪? Where do you want the stones?
石頭? Stones?
放柵欄旁邊 Over by the fence.
怎麼了? What?
我在洗澡 I was using the bathroom.
你要用洗手間嗎? Do you need to use the bathroom?
行 那我待會回來 Okay, then. I'll be right back.
好 慢慢來 Okay. Take your time.
勾射 That's H.
是的 Yeah, I know.
好 帶球上籃 All right. Lay-up.
好的 All right.
不用對我手下留情 你要贏了 Now you don't have to go easy on me because you're winning.
沒人喜歡愛賣弄的人 Nobody likes a show-off, man.
你要背後運球 You gotta go behind the back.
媽呀 God.
能問你個問題嗎? Can I ask you a question?
你願意被土葬還是火葬? Would you rather be buried or cremated?
就這問題? That's your question?
我更願意被火葬 I'd rather be cremated.
我覺得... I think I'd...
我更願意被土葬 I think I'd rather be buried.
為什麼? But why? I mean,
只會佔用土地資源 you're just gonna be taking up more space in the earth.
我不知道那種感覺 I don't know. The idea of being, you know,
被燒成慘白的玩意 有點讓我害怕 torched into a chalky white substance has got me a little freaked out.
那有什麼關係? 你都不會感覺到 Why does it matter to you? You're not even gonna be conscious.
好吧 我也不知道 Okay, well, maybe, I don't know,
我希望有個地兒 人們能來探望我 I want a place for people to come and visit me one day.
可是為什麼? 死了以後 But why? You're gonna be dead.
你都不會知道自己在那裏 You won't even know they're there.
好吧 放輕鬆 Okay. Take it easy.
快點 Come on.
那你喜歡Nike還是New Balance? So, what do you like better, Nike or New Balance?
- Nike - 來 投一個 Nike. Oh, God, here we go.
天 我喜歡你的項鏈 能看看嗎? God, I love your necklace! Can I see it?
當然 Sure.
太美了 It's so beautiful.
謝謝 Thank you.
是非洲的嗎? Is it African?
對 埃塞俄比亞產的 Yes, it's Ethiopian.
你去那兒買的? Did you get it there?
不 在布魯克林跳蚤市場買的 No, I got it at a flea market in Brooklyn.
你是那裏來的嗎? Is that where you're from?
不 我是本地人 No, I'm from here.
- 挺好 - 嘿 感覺如何? Cool. Hey, guys, how you doing?
- 很好 - 吃的怎麼樣? Good. How's the food?
好極了 It's great.
是嗎? 那隻雞不打算吃了? Good? You're not gonna eat your chicken?
- 很好吃 - 好吃麼? It's so yummy. It's good?
嗯 非常好吃 Yeah, it's really good.
抱歉我要借用一下可愛的Tanya I'm sorry, but I have to take the lovely Tanya away for a moment.
好吧 姑娘們 和你們聊天非常愉快 All right. It was lovely talking to you, ladies.
- 和你也是 - 和你也是 You, too. You, too.
我覺得你的捐精爸爸在給我性暗示 Okay, I'm sorry, but your donor daddy is giving me the sex vibe.
才不 他才不會那麼做 No, he's not. He wouldn't do that.
為什麼? 他又不是我爸爸 Why not? He's not my dad.
夠了 Sasha 太噁心了 God, Sasha, that's totally gross!
不是每個人都想和你做愛 明白? Not everybody wants to have sex with you, okay?
尤其是當你像蕩婦一樣的時候 Especially when you act like a slut.
草泥馬 Fuck you.
看起來飢渴過度又不可靠 Well, it makes you seem insecure and desperate.
我才不是飢渴又不可靠 I'm not insecure and desperate.
我只是性慾旺盛的普通人 I'm just a normal, sexual person.
你要是不那麼一本正經 也許就能理解 Maybe you'd understand that if you weren't so uptight.
你媽的 我才不一本正經呢 Fuck you. I'm not uptight.
這些天然授粉番茄太美味了 Oh, my God, these heirloom tomatoes are amazing.
是的 正應季 Oh, yeah, they're in season.
Joni從Paul的花園裏拿了點回來 You know, Joni brought some home from Paul's garden the other day.
超巨大 They were huge.
孩子們常和他在一起? So the kids have been spending time with him?
是的 各種 珍貴時光 家庭團聚 Yeah. Yeah, they're spending all kinds of quality time together.
你真幸運 孩子們和捐獻者相處很好 Well, you're lucky. You're lucky that the kids bonded with the donor.
你也聽過那些悲慘故事 I mean, you hear so many nightmare stories.
不 太好了 他們相處的太好了 No, no, it's great. They all just get along famously.
顯然 Paul什麼都是對的 Apparently, Paul can do no wrong.
你好 再來一瓶西韋赤霞珠 Excuse me. Could we get another bottle of the Seavey Cabernet?
謝謝 夠了 夠了 我不喝了 Thank you. I'm okay. I'm okay. I don't need any more.
你得一個人喝了 Nicole Yeah, you're alone on this one, N icole.
你們學會做巴西莓沙冰了嗎? Hey, so have you guys gotten into the whole acai smoothie craze?
巴西莓水果系列 Acai fruit packs.
算是會了吧 把全食買的東西一攪和 Yeah. No, but they're pushing them like crack at Whole Foods.
Joel迷上這個了 他自己買搭配原料 Joel is so addicted to it. He buys it by the case.
我是這麼做的 Here's what I do.
把香蕉 冰草莓 麻仁漿到入攪拌機 I throw one in the blender with bananas, frozen strawberries and hemp milk.
告訴你們 簡直是震撼美味 And I'll tell you what, it is pretty sensational.
你殺了我算了 J ust fucking kill me. Okay?
- 親愛的 - 抱歉 Honey. I'm sorry, guys,
我現在真是見不得什麼麻仁奶啊 有機農場啊 but I just can't with the fucking hemp milk and the organic farming.
如果我再聽到誰說喜歡自然授粉番茄 And, you know, if I hear one more person say that they love heirloom tomatoes,
我他媽真要自殺了 明白? I'm gonna fucking kill myself. Okay?
我們現在都流行用堆肥了 Oh. And do you know that we're composting now?
"別扔垃圾箱裏" Oh, yeah. "No, don't throw that in the trash.
"要放到堆肥池裏" "You have to put it in the composting bin
"可愛的小蠕蟲們會把它變成有機肥" "where all the beautiful little worms will turn it into this organic mulch,
"這樣會覺得很有成就感呢" "and then we'll all feel good about ourselves." You know?
我不能忍了 明白? 我真他媽見不得這些 I can't do it, okay? I can't fucking do it.
親愛的 要喝點綠茶麼? Hey, babe. How about some green tea?
Jules 我就想喝我的酒 你愛咋咋地吧 You know what, J ules? I like my wine, okay? So fucking sue me.
順便說一句 紅酒裏還含有白藜蘆醇 And FYI, red wine has a chemical called resveratrol in it,
已經被證實可以延年益壽 which has been proven to significantly extend human lifespan.
是的 你一天喝一千杯試試 If you drink, like, a thousand glasses a day, yeah.
滾你的 Fuck you.
- 很抱歉 - 沒關係 I'm sorry. It's okay.
去找她吧 Go to her.
Whoa.
她們到底怎麼了? What the hell is going on with them?
天啊 你到底怎麼了? Oh, my God. What is going on with you?
還不都是因為Paul It's this whole Paul thing.
他已經把我搞瘋了 明白? It's just driving me crazy, all right?
我感覺他在搶奪我的家庭 I feel like he's taking over my family.
不 他只是... No. He's...
需要點什麼嗎? Can I get you anything?
不 謝謝 他並沒有 No thanks, no. He's not. He's not.
好吧 Okay.
好吧 對不起 Okay, I'm sorry, all right?
我想我是累了 I guess I'm just exhausted.
也許你該休假一陣子 重新充電 Yeah, maybe you just need to take some time off, recharge.
對吧? Right?
是的 可是誰來賺錢? Yeah, right. Who's gonna pay for that?
我是說 對不起 I mean, look, I'm sorry,
可是 我覺得我肩負著所有負擔 but, you know, I feel like I'm carrying the whole load here.
是的 因為你總喜歡這樣 Yeah, 'cause that's the way you like it.
掌握控制權 That's the way you keep control.
你指什麼? What are you talking about?
行了 你就是不喜歡我去工作 Come on, you hated it when I worked.
總想讓我在家帶孩子 You wanted me at home taking care of the kids.
- 想要我做主婦 - 並不是這樣 You wanted a wife. That is just not true.
不 請來的保姆 你一個都不喜歡 No, you didn't like any of the nannies,
而且完全不支持我的事業 and you sure didn't back my career.
你說什麼? 我還幫你開創了新事業 What are you talking about? I just helped you start another business.
是的 能讓你自我感覺良好 Yeah, so you can feel better about yourself.
不 Jules 只是想讓你感覺好點 No, Jules. So you can feel better about yourself.
你還喜歡我嗎? Are you even attracted to me anymore?
還要喝酒嗎? Would you still like the wine?
不 謝了 結帳吧 No, thank you. We'll just take the check from inside, please.
好 沒問題 Okay, no problem.
扯我頭髮 Oh, yeah. Pull my hair.
Okay. Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Ow!
好想抽根煙 自Laser出生就沒抽過了 I really want a cigarette. I haven't smoked since Laser was born.
你吸煙嗎? 有煙嗎? Do you smoke? Do you have a cigarette?
偶爾抽 但手邊沒有煙 Sometimes, but I don't have any.
我可以去給你買點 I could go run out and get you some.
好的 噢 不 別走 Yeah. Yeah, no, no. No, don't go.
天啊 God.
你覺得 Do you think
我是個不中用的大齡女同性戀嗎? I'm some sad-sack, middle-aged lesbian?
我一直在想如何向朋友們形容你 You know, I have been trying to come up with a way to describe you to my friends,
現在終於想到了 謝謝 and now I finally have it. Thank you so much.
去死吧你 Fuck you.
你要接嗎? You want to get that?
不 我更想接著做 No, no. I want to get some of this.
Paul 我是Joni Paul, it's Joni.
我只是想打來替Sasha道歉 I just wanted to call you and apologize for my friend Sasha.
當你把手放她肩上時 You know, when you put your hands on her shoulders,
她好像覺得... I think that she thought that...
- 嗨 Joni 是我 - 別接 Hey, Joni. It's Paul. Don't get that.
對不起 我真的得替Sasha道歉 Listen, I'm really sorry about Sasha the other night.
噢不 我...我完全沒意識到 No, I didn't even... No, no. No... Really, I didn't even notice that.
希望你不要覺得尷尬 I hope you didn't feel uncomfortable.
不 完全不會... No, not at all. I...
完全不在意 Not at all.
- 噢 好的 只要你... - 你等一下 Okay, sure. Well, as long as... Hold on, hold on.
喂 喂 等會 Wait, wait, wait.
不 放開我 No, just get off me.
我只是... 等我一秒鐘 I'm just gonna... Give me one second.
放開 Get off.
Jone? Jone?
噢 我媽在那兒嗎? Oh, is my mom there?
你媽媽? 不 她不在 Your mom? No, no. She split.
她去家得寶辦事了 She went on a Home Depot run.
你去了家得寶嗎? Did you go to Home Depot?
是的 剛回來 Yeah. J ust got back.
挺快的 That was fast.
對 沒排隊 Yeah, no lines.
幹嗎用這種表情看我? What's that look you're giving me?
哪種? What look?
你現在這種表情 The look that you're giving me right now.
不 這不是表情 這是我的臉 No. That's no look. That's just my face.
好吧 我不跟你兜圈子玩 Yeah, I'm not gonna play this game with you.
你自己心裏有數 You know, you can keep your judgments to yourself.
太太 我什麼表情也沒 No. I didn't give no looks, se駉ra.
我不會問你怎麼總是在擤鼻涕 I don't ask why you blow your nose all the time.
如果有吸毒問題 也是你自己的事 If you have a drug problem, then that's your business.
不 我沒有毒品問題 No, I don't have no drug problem.
我有過敏癥 I have allergies.
那你怎麼是園丁? Then why are you a gardener?
因為我喜歡花 'Cause I love the flowers.
說什麼都沒用 Man, this is not gonna work.
我今天結束會給你工資 You know, I'm gonna pay you through the end of the day,
然後你的工作就結束了 明白? and then we're through. Okay?
非常感謝 Thank you very much.
謝謝 Thanks. Thank you.
我們能談談嗎... Can we talk about...
不能 No, we can't.
- 就說幾句 - 知道為什麼嗎? A little bit. You know why?
因為沒什麼可說的 'Cause there's nothing to talk about.
你自己清楚 I think you know.
你懂的 You know.
聽著 Look.
我知道你們都和Paul相處得很愉快 I know you've all been enjoying your time with Paul.
也知道自己沒有像大家一樣公正待他 And I know that I haven't been as open to him as everybody else,
這導致了我們之間的摩擦 and that's caused some friction between us.
不過 我會試著改變的 好嗎? But I'd like to try and change that, okay?
所以我在想 So I was thinking
咱們一起去他家吃個飯 應該不錯 it might be nice if we all had dinner at his house sometime.
這樣我就能更瞭解他一點 Now that way, I could get to know him a little bit better,
還可以看到媽媽的後院佳作 and I could see all the good work that Mom's been doing in the backyard.
你們覺得呢? What do you think? Yeah? Sure.
- 很好啊 - 不錯 Yeah. Sure.
對吧? Yeah?
Yeah.
太好了 Great.
還沒...我還沒完成呢 It's not... I'm not done yet.
你知道的 還沒完工... You know, I'm not, you know...
是 我知道 No. No, I know.
還沒開始種東西呢 I haven't done all the planting or anything.
但我想看看這過程 But I wanna see the process.
除了綠色 還沒別的顏色呢 You know, like other colors, other than green colors.
那很好 我只是想看看過程 Well, that's okay. I just wanna see the process.
好極了 Great.
Hey.
- 要幫忙嗎? - 是的 Need a hand? Sure.
等等 我來幫你 Hold on. Let me help you.
- 準備好沒? - 好了 Ready? Okay.
就放這兒 Right here.
Yeah.
我們不能再這麼做了 We can't be doing this.
我知道 這... I know. This is...
我結婚了 I'm married.
還有孩子們 The kids.
而且我愛Nic 所以... Yeah, and I love Nic, so...
- 嘿 - 我不... Hey. I don't...
但那時的確很不錯 It was fun while it lasted.
對不起 Sorry.
我給你買了些煙 I bought you some cigarettes.
上帝 我這是怎麼了? Jesus. What is wrong with me?
我不該把Luis那樣給開除了 真是大錯特錯 I shouldn't have fired Luis like that. That was so wrong.
我覺得你太為難自己了 Yeah, I think you're being hard on yourself.
有時候 事情砸了就是砸了 You know, I mean, things just get messed up sometimes.
不 不 何止砸了 簡直一團屎 No, no, that wasn't messy. That was fucked up.
太屎了 I am so fucked up.
我... I...
我想我愛上你了 I think I'm falling for you.
上帝 Paul Oh, God, Paul.
別這樣 Don't.
多美的一個夜晚 Tonight was a really good night.
是啊 Yeah.
那一桌 大概點了5瓶酒 That one table had, like, five bottles of wine.
真是太瘋狂了 豐收的一夜啊 It was crazy. It was a big night.
Joni真的很美 You know, Joni's really pretty.
我想她是遺傳了你的 I think she's got some of your genes.
你這麼認為? 我覺得她更像她媽媽 但謝了 You think? I think she looks more like her mom, but thanks.
感謝你的誇獎 I appreciate that.
看你當爸爸的樣子 真是可愛 It was really cute seeing you in Dad mode.
是嗎? Yeah?
是的 Yeah.
讓我想上你 It made me want to fuck you.
是嗎? Yeah?
是的 Yeah.
我一直懷念我們一起過夜的時光 You know, I've been missing our sleepovers.
我們很久沒那麼做了 不是嗎? Yeah, we haven't been doing that in a while, have we?
Mmm-mmm.
等會兒來找你吧? You want to meet up later?
Tanya Tanya,
你是那麼的性感和美麗 但是我... you're so sexy and beautiful, but I...
我覺得我們不該再這麼做了 I don't think we should do that anymore.
我們在一起的確很愉快安逸 You know, what we have is really fun and easy,
但我不想到了五十歲 還只是四處玩玩逢場作戲 but I don't want to be that, like, 50-year-old guy who's just hanging out, you know?
我真的想要有個家庭 I really do want to have a family,
我需要一個願意和我組成家庭的人 and I need to be doing that with someone who's, like, ready to go there with me.
Oh.
好吧 Okay.
Tanya Tanya.
去你的 Yeah? Fuck you.
鎖好了 It's locked.
很顯然這裏還得花更多工夫 Yeah, I mean, obviously I have more to do down here.
我必須把它填上 現在只做了個大概 I gotta fill it in, but this is the general idea.
不 看上去棒極了 No, it looks great.
是嗎? Yeah?
真是太原生態了 It's so indigenous.
真的 我為你感到驕傲 Really. I am so proud of you.
你喜歡? Yeah, you like it? Yeah?
我為你感到驕傲 I'm so proud.
我愛你 親愛的 I love you, honey.
我也愛你 I love you, too.
- 真高興你能喜歡 - 太不可思議了 I'm so glad you like it. It's incredible.
天啊 Oh, man.
等等 那個叫Luis的傢伙怎麼樣了? And now, wait, how's that guy Luis working out?
我不得不開除他 Man, I had to fire him.
上帝 Oh, my God.
他有毒品問題 Yeah, he has a drug problem.
你開玩笑吧! 什麼毒品? You're kidding! What drug?
不 我知道...我... No. I know... I...
估計販點兒毒吧 Blow, I think.
孩子 你真是個天生好手 You're a natural, kid.
- 我知道 - 很好 I know. Good.
你真是天才 You're a natural.
你放再多橄欖油都不為過 You can never have too much olive oil.
大禁忌 Big no-no.
我剛忘了 Oh! I forgot.
Nic 我有瓶超讚的1998年Alma Rosa 葡萄酒 我想你會喜歡的 N ic, I got a bitching 1998 Alma Rosa that I think you're just gonna love.
我想我還是喝水好了 非常感謝 You know what? I think I'm gonna stick with water, but thank you so much.
- 你確定? - 是的 You sure? Yeah.
Jules Jules.
Paul 這牛排真是太好吃了 Paul, this steak is delicious.
謝謝 Thank you.
真的 這...你用的什麼調料? Really, it's... What is the seasoning?
夥計們 我們只是給它加了點松露油 對吧? Guys, we just misted it with a little truffle oil, right?
Mmm-hmm.
- 很簡單 - 哇哦 It's so easy. Wow.
多棒的主意 我們也該去試試 親愛的 對吧? What a good idea. We ought to try that. Right, honey?
Mmm-hmm.
做得幾近完美 And it's done to perfection.
怎麼? 是不夠嫩嗎? Yeah? It's not too rare?
不 不是 Oh, no, no.
多汁而鮮脆 這才叫半熟 It's juicy and tender. Exactly what rare's supposed to be.
是嗎? 人們走進餐館 Right? I mean, I got people coming into the restaurant,
看到牛排上的點點紅色 就嚇壞了 they see the slightest bit of red, they just start freaking out.
這也太煩人了吧 Isn't that annoying?
我每次烤肉 周圍都會有人這樣 That happens to me all the time when I'm grilling.
紅色說明鮮嫩 Hey, red is rare.
喂 那是血紅 Hello, it's bloody.
I mean... Hello?
謝謝 Yoo-hoo. Hello, thank you.
如果你在阿根廷要了份半熟的 Yeah, I mean, if you're in Argentina, and you ask for rare,
他們會給你個盤子 擺一隻還在叫的牛 they bring you a cow still mooing on the plate.
我真的很想去阿根廷 布宜諾斯艾利斯應該... I really want to go to Argentina. Buenos Aires is supposed to be...
我注意到那邊你的唱片收藏了 Hey. I noticed your record collection over there.
真的很棒 Wow, it's quite an eclectic mix, you know.
Nic 謝謝 Thank you very much, N ic.
不用 You're welcome.
很少看到直男喜歡Joni Mitchell的 You don't meet too many straight guys who love Joni Mitchell.
確實 You sure don't.
你喜歡Joni? You like Joni?
也不是啦 只是給女兒起了一樣的名字 No, not really. We just named our daughter after her.
真的嗎? 別騙人 Really? Oh, shut the front door.
少來 真的嗎? 你從沒告訴過我 你是以Joni M命名的 Come on. Really? You never told me you were named after Joni M.
這太傻了 我不想提起它 It's so dorky. I don't like to bring it up.
真是太酷了 That is so cool.
你最喜歡Joni的那張專輯? No, what's your favorite Joni album? It's not cool.
"藍色" Blue.
我們簡直是兄弟 Right? My brother from another mother.
上帝啊... Oh, my God. I mean...
我高中大半時光 都在屋裏 一邊聽那專輯一邊哭 Listen, I spent half of high school in my room crying to that album.
那唱片 真是要了我的命 That record, it kills me.
- 永不停息 - 是的 It doesn't stop. No.
"River"啊 "California"啊 (唱片中曲目) River. California.
"A Case Of You" A Case Of You.
"All I Want" All I Want.
天啊 Oh, God. Right?
* I am on a lonely road * I am on a lonely road
* And I am traveling, traveling, traveling * And I am traveling, traveling, traveling
* Looking for something * Looking for something
* What can it be * What can it be
* I hate you some, I hate you some * I hate you some, I hate you some
* I love you some * I love you some
* I love you * I love you
* When I forget about me * When I forget about me
* I want to talk to you * I want to talk to you
* I want to shampoo you * I want to shampoo you
* I want to renew you again and again * I want to renew you again and again
* Applause, applause * Applause, applause
* Life is our cause * Life is our cause
* When I think of your kisses * When I think of your kisses
* My mind see-saws * My mind see-saws
* Do you see, do you see * Do you see, do you see
* Do you see how you hurt me, baby * Do you see how you hurt me, baby
* And I hurt you, too * And I hurt you, too
* That's why we both get * That's why we both get
* so blue * so blue
棒極了 Bravo.
媽 可別棄醫從樂啊 Don't quit your day job, Mom.
嘿 要在這世上敞開心扉 已經夠困難的了 Hey. It's already hard enough to open your heart in this world.
別讓它變得更難 Don't make it any harder.
你說的對 對不起 真是美妙的表演 You're right. I'm sorry. It was a wonderful rendition.
美極了 謝謝你 Beautiful, thank you.
我喜歡這個人 I like this guy.
Nic 謝謝 Why, thank you, N ic.
Paul 你家洗手間在哪? Okay. Paul, where's your bathroom?
就在那邊 角落那裏 It's just right here around the corner.
好的 謝了 All right. Thanks.
我想來杯Alma Rosa 好嗎? And you know what? I am gonna have a glass of the Alma Rosa, okay?
好的 All right.
我想 你一定會特喜歡阿根廷 So, I think you'd really love Argentina.
我真的很想去那 I really wanna go there.
布宜諾斯艾利斯 絕對是 Buenos Aires is literally, like,
世界上最美的城市之一 one of the most beautiful cities in the world.
我在大峽谷時 遇上了一場暴風雨 I was in a rainstorm in the Grand Canyon.
- 我們能去嗎? - 我帶你去 Can we go? I'll take you.
我們在墨西哥的巴哈 遇上一條很大的響尾蛇 A big rattlesnake when I was in the desert in Baja, Mexico.
我帶你們去巴哈吧 We should. I'll take you to Baja.
我在沙漠中 然後... I was in the desert and...
那裏是什麼樣子? What's it like there?
非常美 It's beautiful.
本來想衝浪 但是浪頭太小 I was surfing, but then there was no waves,
於是幾個人就登入了山林中 so we climbed up into the mountains.
我聽到聲響 發現是條響尾蛇 And I hear a rattling, and it was a rattlesnake.
我慌了啊 不知該怎麼辦 And so I was scrambling. I didn't know what to do,
摸到一塊石頭 就朝響尾蛇扔去... so I reached out for a rock, and then I threw it at the rattlesnake...
你們在那邊待過嗎? Did you guys spend some time up there?
是的 很久以前 Yeah, a long time ago. Yeah. Yeah.
美極了 美麗的沙灘 你會喜歡的 Beautiful, beautiful beaches. You'd like it.
真高興你們能來 It's really nice having you guys over.
招待不周 I don't entertain here very much.
乾杯 Cheers.
- 好的 - 好的 All right. All right.
敬這不同尋常的一家 To an unconventional family.
你和Paul非常處得來 You and Paul were getting along like gang-busters.
你一直和他睡 是嗎? You're sleeping with him, aren't you?
什麼? What?
說實話 好嗎? J ust be honest with me, okay?
我都快失心瘋了 別再逼我 Don't make me feel crazier than I feel right now.
這是哪聽來的? 我不... Where is this coming from? I don't...
他家下水道裏 有你的頭髮 Well, I found your hair in his drain.
因為... Because...
我一直在工作嘛 挺髒的 就去沖了個澡 Because I was working, and I got dirty, and I took a shower.
是嗎? 你還小睡了一會? Yeah? Did you take a nap, too?
你愛上他了嗎? Are you in love with him?
沒有 No.
你現在喜歡男的了? Are you straight now?
不是 根本沒這回事! No. It has nothing to do with that!
我只是感覺最近和你很疏遠 I've just felt so far away from you lately.
所以是我的錯咯? Oh, right. So it's my fault?
不! 哪有人說誰錯了? No! Who said anything about fault?
聽我說! Just listen to me!
我在聽! I'm listening!
要說什麼? What?
我...我只是... I just... I just...
我需要... I needed...
什麼? 被人上? What? To be fucked?
不是 被重視 No. Appreciated.
我一直沒重視你 是嗎? Well, it's always what I'm not doing for you, isn't it?
好吧 我一輩子都不會對你做的是: Well, okay. Here's what I don't do to you.
我不會去和別人上床 來解決問題! I don't work out my issues by fucking other people!
他不只是"別人" He's not just "other people."
不是! 他是我們的精子捐獻者 No! He's our sperm donor.
你真是傷我太深了 You couldn't have picked a more painful way to hurt me.
你要去哪? Where are you going?
我要水! I need water!
Oh!
該死! Shit!
該死 Shit.
Joni Joni.
我不想和你說話 I don't want to talk to you.
我們談談吧 Can we just talk about what happened?
我說了 我不想和你說話 I said I don't want to talk to you.
好的 我理解 Okay. I understand.
Laser? 親愛的? Laser? Honey?
怎麼了? What?
我知道 你和Joni什麼都聽到了 I know that you and Joni heard what was going on,
我想告訴你 我和Paul已經結束了 and I wanted to tell you that what happened with me and Paul is over.
現在什麼事都沒有了 There's nothing going on now.
好的 Okay.
我知道 你得花上一段時間來調整 I know it'll probably take you a while to process your feelings around this,
但我只想告訴你 如果你想談任何事 我都會在 but I just wanted to tell you that I'm here if you ever want to talk about anything.
你想談談什麼嗎? Is there anything you want to talk about?
不太想 Not really.
Nic怎麼樣了? How's Nic?
她一團糟 She's a mess.
她們互不搭理 我從沒見她這樣子 They're not talking. I've never seen her like that.
是他嗎? Is it him?
喂? Hello?
親愛的 你怎麼樣? Hey, darling. How you doing?
你個偽君子 You're such a phony.
什麼? Excuse me?
你裝得很親切 很好人 但你不是 You act like you're so groovy and together, but you're not.
你是個爛人! You're a shitty person!
不是吧 Oh, no.
發生什麼了? What happened?
和我媽? With my mom?
聽著 請你讓我過去和你談談 Listen, you gotta let me just come and talk to you, honey, please.
你是怎麼回事? What's wrong with you?
Joni 請聽我說... Joni, listen to me. Please...
別再打電話給我 Don't call me again.
Paul 看看這些黃瓜 長得很好吧? Hey, Paul, look at these cukes. Aren't they awesome?
不 No.
該死 Fuck.
真見鬼! Fuck!
喂? Hello?
我剛和Joni聊過 I just talked to Joni.
怎麼了? 發生了什麼? What happened? What's going on?
Nic在你家洗手間發現了我的頭髮 N ic found my hair in your bathroom.
- 該死 - 在下水管裏 Fuck. I n the drain.
就那天晚上? The other night?
是的 Yeah.
天啊 Oh, my God.
我說 Hey, you know what?
不然我們就豁出去吧 反正大家都知道了 I just say we go for it. I mean, it's all out in the open now.
讓我們在一起吧 I mean, let's just do this thing.
Paul... Paul...
Jules 我不在乎你怎麼說 我們能夠... I don't care what you say, Jules. We can...
咱在一起沒有錯 會開心的 This can work, you know. This isn't a mistake.
Paul Paul.
一切皆有原因 This isn't just happening for no reason.
讓我們把孩子聚到一起 Let's get the kids together.
- Paul 別這樣 - 我受夠了這生活 Paul, come on. I'm sick of this life.
- 讓這成真吧 - 我喜歡女人 Let's make this happen. I'm ready.
我準備好了 I'm gay.
管它呢 我想... Fuck it. I wanna...
上帝 Jesus.
喂? Hello?
慢點喝 猛妞兒 Hey, hey. Slow down, tiger.
當心一會兒吐 You don't wanna get sick.
我沒事 I'm fine.
你要和他談談嗎? Are you gonna talk to him?
嗯 Yeah.
- 嘿 - 嘿 Hey. Hey.
我喜歡你的脖子 很性感 I like the scruff. It's sexy.
謝謝 Thank you.
不好意思 我們正在聊天 Excuse me. We're in the middle of a conversation.
沒關係 That's okay.
我能和你談談嗎? Can I talk to you?
當然 Yeah.
失陪一下 Excuse me.
青辣椒 沙司醬 藍玉米墨西哥薄餅 Green chilies, queso sauce, blue corn tortillas.
這是布蘭諾辣椒 This is a poblano pepper.
什麼事? So, what's up?
你還好吧? Are you okay?
很好 Fine.
我想再要個枕頭 沙發太鬆了 I just wanted to get another pillow. The couch is really saggy.
你背疼? Your back hurts?
是的 超級疼 Yeah. It's super achy.
那就吃點兒鎮痛藥 Well, you should take some Advil.
派對怎麼樣? Hey, how was the party?
還好 Fine.
很多人嗎? Were there a lot of people there?
不知道 I don't know.
親愛的 你喝醉了嗎? Are you drunk, honey?
沒有 No.
你自己開車回來的? Hey, did you drive yourself home?
是的 有什麼大不了的? 我沒醉 Yeah. What's the big deal? I'm not drunk.
在我看來 你肯定醉了 You seem drunk to me.
你應該知道 Yeah, well, you should know.
你剛說對我說什麼? What did you say to me?
- 沒什麼 我要睡了 - 親愛的 我... Nothing. I'm going to bed. Hey, honey. I...
你想怎樣? 我都照你說的去做了! What do you want from me? I did everything you wanted!
每門課都是A! 申請的學校 每一所都要我 I got all A's! I got into every school I applied!
你絕對可以好好展示一下 自己擁有多完美的女同志家庭! Now you can show everyone what a perfect lesbian family you have!
別這樣和你媽說話! Don't talk to your mom like that!
都這份上了 你有資格教我該怎麼做? You're really gonna tell me how to act? Now?
我仍然是你媽媽 你... You know what? I am still your mother, and you...
別碰我! 真受夠你們倆了! Don't touch me! I'm so sick of both of you!
我給你的燈 帶上了嗎? Hey, did you remember to pack the lamp I gave you?
Mmm-hmm.
我們總能在那邊買到東西 Well, we can always get stuff there, you know.
如果到時候房間太暗 或者需要加床被子... I mean, if your room's too dark, or you need extra bedding or...
媽 我又不是去西伯利亞 I'm not going to Siberia, Mom.
不敢相信 這是你在家吃的最後一餐了 I can't believe it's your last dinner at home.
你不會真的要哭吧? Are you seriously about to cry?
我還真希望你是同性戀 那你就會敏感得多 I wish you were gay. You'd be much more sensitive.
應該是Sasha 我去開門 That's probably Sasha. I'll get it.
要開多久的車? How long a drive is it?
我猜要八個小時 About eight hours, I think.
你來這幹什麼? What are you doing here?
我只想在你走前 和你談談 拜託了 I just needed to talk to you before you left. Please.
沒什麼好談的 There's nothing to talk about.
我想再向你道歉 I wanted to apologize again.
對於發生的事 I can't tell you
我感到無比慚愧 無比後悔 how ashamed, how much I regret what happened.
我們曾經玩得那麼開心 So, like, everything that happened between us,
都算什麼? 都是瞎扯淡嗎? what was that? That was just bullshit?
不 絕不是扯淡 No, no. It wasn't bullshit at all.
Okay?
我知道 現在你們也不太相信我了 I know that I don't have much credibility right now,
但我真的 真的很在乎你們 but I really, really care about you.
我想知道 有一天我還會再看到你 And I wanna know that I'm gonna be able to see you again someday.
你覺得 咱們還能相見嗎? I mean, I... Do you think that could ever happen?
我不知道 I don't know.
我只是希望你原本會... I just wish that you could've been...
什麼? What?
更好 Better.
Oh.
先生 你還真是有膽量 You have got some balls, mister.
Nic 等等 Hold on, N ic.
不 不 不 你等等 No, no, no. You hold on.
你知道你對我的孩子做了什麼嗎? You know what you did to my kids?
該死 Shit.
讓我告訴你 先生 這不是你的家庭 Let me tell you something, man, this is not your family.
- 他們是我家人 - Nic 我知道 This is my family! I know that, Nic.
不 你不知道 No, you don't know.
你不知道 你知道為什麼嗎? You don't know, and you know why?
他媽的 你純屬無端干涉 Because you're a fucking interloper.
如果你那麼想要自己的家庭 找人建一個呀 If you want a family so much, you go out and make your own!
讓我說句話 I need to say something.
這也不是什麼秘密 我和你們的媽媽 現在一團糟... It's no big secret your mom and I are in hell right now, and...
說到底 婚姻太難了 Bottom line is, marriage is hard.
真他媽的艱難 It's really fucking hard.
兩個人 Just two people
要面對多少爛事兒 年復一年 越來越老 變得不一樣了 slogging through the shit, year after year, getting older, changing.
像是跑一場馬拉松 It's a fucking marathon, okay?
所以 有時在一起太久 你的眼中... So, sometimes, you know, you're together so long, that you just...
就不再有對方了 You stop seeing the other person.
你能看到的 只有自己的不順和不快 You just see weird projections of your own junk.
你不再和對方談心 轉而做出軌之事 Instead of talking to each other, you go off the rails
表現得很骯髒 做愚蠢的選擇 我就是這樣 and act grubby and make stupid choices, which is what I did.
我為此感到噁心 因為我愛你們 也愛你們的媽媽 And I feel sick about it because I love you guys, and I love your mom,
說的都是真話 and that's the truth.
有時候 偏偏就傷害了你最愛的人 我也不知道為什麼 Sometimes you hurt the ones you love the most. I don't know why.
如果我讀過更多的俄國小說 那麼... You know, if I read more Russian novels, then...
不管怎樣... Anyway...
我只想說 我為自己所做的一切 感到非常抱歉 I just wanted to say how sorry I am for what I did.
我希望你們最終會原諒我 I hope you'll forgive me eventually.
謝謝 Thank you.
Oh!
- 真漂亮 對吧? - 真的很大 N ice, huh? This is big.
比我想的要大 It's bigger than I thought it would be.
好的 Okay.
燈帶了嗎? 謝天謝地 在這 Did you remember the lamp? Thank God. Here it is. Here.
親愛的 你想把這放哪? Honey, where do you want this?
你想放桌上? 還是床邊? Do you want it on your desk? Do you want it next to the bed?
各位 我自己來吧 Guys, I've got it.
- 我想床單在這 - 媽 I think the sheets are in here. Mom.
各位 我自己能行 好嗎? Guys, I can do it, okay? No, no, I can do it.
媽 Mom.
那是... Is that...
媽 我來 我自己能行 Mom, I got it. I can do it.
謝謝 讓我自己待會兒 好嗎? Thanks. Can I just have a minute, please? Okay?
- 好的 - 好的 Okay. Okay.
好嗎? Okay?
好的 Okay.
很好 Great.
Hey.
你們去哪? Where'd you guys go?
我們要把車開走 We had to move the car.
我還以為你們走了 I thought you left.
我們不會不辭而別的 We wouldn't leave without saying goodbye.
別這麼不信任我們 Give us some credit.
以後沒你在身邊 會很不習慣的 It's gonna be weird not having you around anymore.
很抱歉把你一個人留在她們身邊 Sorry to leave you alone with them.
會沒事的 It'll be okay.
夥計們 別這樣 Hey, guys, come on.
沒事的 我很快就會打電話給你們 Hey, it's okay. I'll speak to you soon, okay?
好的 Okay.
我覺得你們不該分手 I don't think you guys should break up.
不嗎? 為什麼? No? Why's that?
你們太老啦 I think you're too old.
Laser 多謝了 Thanks, Laser.
孩子們都很好 -=結束=- 謝謝觀看
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