很久很久以前 有座島嶼 Once upon a long time ago, there was an island...
那有荷蘭人 印第安人 Some Dutch, some Indians
還有閃亮的珠寶 and some beads.
追隨珠寶而來的是汽船 大樓 And those beads led to steamboats and skyscrapers...
華爾街 電燈 wall Street and electric lights...
報紙 埃利斯島 揚基棒球隊 newspapers, Ellis Island, the Yankees...
中央公園 第一屆世博會 Central Park and the first World's Fair...
百老匯 克萊斯勒大廈 Broadway, the Chrysler Building
Studio54鍍金派對 and Studio 54.
我寧愿稱之為前紐約時期 I like to think of that as New York City B. C:
凱莉蒞臨之前 Before Carrie.
你們好 Hi, guys.
我于一九八六年六月十一日 星期二 I arrived on this island at exactly 3:30 P.M.
下午三點半整抵達這座島 on Tuesday, June 11th, 1986.
出租 出租 出租車 出... Cab! Cab, cab, cab! Taxi! Ca...!
一切仍清晰如昨日 It seems like only yesterday.
出租車 Taxi!
謝謝 Thank you.
一年后 我與夏洛特相識 The very next year, I met Charlotte.
凌晨兩點在地鐵車廂里 We were on a subway car at 2 a.M.
一個流浪漢突然脫掉了褲子 When a homeless man dropped his pants.
一九八九年 在布魯明戴爾百貨公司 Miranda and I met in 1989
我遇到了米蘭達 at Bloomingdale's.
那時 我供職于女裙部 I was working in the dress department.
而她則待在更衣室里哭個沒完 She was crying in the changing room.
好嗎 Hi. How are you?
我認識薩曼莎的時候 I met Samantha
她還在CBGB搖滾俱樂部做酒保 when she was bartending at CBGB's.
-去死吧你 -也不看看誰的地盤 - Bite me! - My place or yours?
-嗨 -還好嗎 - Hi. - How are you?
走吧 Let's go.
你準備好了嗎 Ready?
時間弄人 Time is a funny thing.
有時十年如一日 一晃就過去了 A decade can flash by in an uneventful second.
有時呢 不同尋常的大事 And then, in just two years,
卻又趕在那兩年輪番上演 monumental things can happen.
有些事你做夢也想不到會發生 Things you couldn't imagine happening in a million years.
歡迎光臨博道夫·古德曼 Welcome to Bergdorf Goodman.
有什么我可以做的嗎 May I help you?
我們的朋友要結婚了 Yes, our friend is getting married.
真沒想到能趕上這一天 I never thought I'd see this day.
我也是 You and me both.
見鬼了 Hell just froze over.
請問新郎貴姓 What's the name?
布拉齊 全名是史丹佛·布拉齊 Oh, Blatch. It's Stanford Blatch.
我覺得 他們會聯名注冊 Actually, I think they're registered under both names.
我們各自最要好的同志好友要結婚了 Her best gay friend is marrying my best gay friend.
-太棒了 -沒錯 - That's wonderful. - I know.
-我幫你們登記吧 -謝謝 - Let me get the registry. - Thanks.
到底怎么回事 How did this even happen?
我以為他倆互相看不順眼呢 I thought they hated each other.
這就好比搶椅子游戲 It's like musical chairs. The music
音樂停了 只有他倆沒搶到 stopped and they were the last two left standing.
當你以為身邊的人都過了結婚的年紀 When you thought everyone you
同志們的大日子就來了 knew was too old to get married, here come the gays.
就這樣 在一個周末 And so, one weekend, we all
大家齊聚康涅狄格州一座迷人的別墅 gathered at a charming inn in Connecticut
風景美不勝收 where the view was breathtaking...
而且此婚禮絕對合法 and the wedding was legal.
我的領結如何 How's my tie?
我的又如何 How's my tie?
你可沒跟我說過你要穿這身行頭 You didn't tell me you were wearing that.
我可是伴郎呢 Well, I am the best man.
我來幫你一把 Oh, and you need a little help here.
同志婚禮跟普通婚禮比是長點還是短點 So is a gay wedding shorter or longer than a straight wedding?
-什么意思 -就想知道去那能干點啥 - Why? - Just wanna know what I'm in for.
我想婚禮都大同小異 Well, I think the marriage ceremony is about the same.
就是不知道直男愿意 But I have no idea how long
搭上多少時間 the sacrificing of the straight men will take.
真帥氣 There you go.
我不想看起來太帥 畢竟是同志婚禮 Don't make me look too good. Gay wedding.
能不能別再提同志的事了 Will you please stop referring to this as a gay wedding?
難道不是同志婚禮嗎 Well, isn't it a gay wedding?
是 但不僅僅如此而已 Well, yes, but it's not just a gay wedding.
是史丹佛和安東尼的婚禮 It's Stanford and Anthony's wedding.
明白 Mm. Got it.
瞧瞧 你拉鏈開了 Whoops. Your fly is down.
我來吧 這是個技術活兒 Better let me. These things can be tricky.
那叫拉上拉鏈嗎 You did not pull it up.
我一個小時就得趕到 我是伴郎 I have to be there in an hour. I'm the best man.
那我只好使出絕活了 Then I better do my best.
這是我參加的第一個同志婚禮 Don't wanna be late
我也不想遲了 to my first gay wedding.
別再提同志婚禮了 This is not a gay wedding.
別廢話了 Wasting time talking.
省省吧 你不會吧 Oh, come on, you're not gonna.
倘若我要離去 If ever I would leave you
也斷然不是夏日 It wouldn't be in summer
在夏日看見你的倩影 Seeing you in summer
我承認 的確是同志婚禮 Okay, it's a gay wedding.
你的發絲隨陽光閃耀 Your hair streaked with sunlight
-嗨 -好啊 - Hey. - Hello.
夠圣潔吧 White enough?
簡直刺人眼球 This is what it looks like when you stare directly into the sun.
我覺得漂亮極了 Well, I think it's beautiful.
整個婚禮又豈止是漂亮呢 Oh, this wedding is way more than beautiful.
趕上戴妃的婚禮了 It's Lady Di.
媽媽 我能去看看天鵝嗎 Mommy, can I go look at the swans?
當然 寶貝 Yes, honey.
好的 寶貝 Sure, baby.
待在我們視線之內 好吧 Stay where we can see you, okay?
-就在那 -天鵝 你們好 - Right there. - Hi, swans.
薩曼莎來了 Oh, there's Samantha. Hey.
你怎么帶了只狗 You brought your dog?
同志婚禮嘛 干嗎不再多帶個 It's a gay wedding. I figured,
臭娘們以表態度 what's one more little bitch with an attitude?
姑娘們 我們就不能和諧點嗎 You guys, shouldn't we be a little bit more PC?
小夏 Char!
安東尼 Anthony! Hey.
你們受得了這嗎 Can you believe this place?
簡直跟白雪皇后爆炸了似的 It looks like the Snow Queen exploded.
-這下夠和諧了 -可不是嘛 - How's that for PC? - True.
婚禮不是你自己策劃的嗎 So you're not the wedding planner?
當然不是 Hell to the no.
史丹佛提到天鵝的時候我就沒轍了 I pulled out when Stanford mentioned swans.
最后干脆甩手不管了 Finally, I just threw up my arms,
他想怎樣就怎樣吧 whatever he wants, give it to him.
沒錯 史丹佛實現夢想的婚姻 Yep, Stanford gets the wedding of his dreams
我想偷腥就沒人管的著了 and I get to cheat.
別那樣看著我 小夏 And don't give me that face, Char.
結婚并不意味著 Just because I'm getting
改變真我 married doesn't mean I have to change who I am.
因為你是同志就可以偷腥嗎 So you're allowed to cheat because you're gay?
才不是呢 因為我是意大利人 No, because I'm Italian.
凱莉 史丹佛在找你 Carrie, Stanford's looking for you.
帽子真可愛 Cute hat.
-安東尼 -來了 - Anthony. - Coming.
真是不懂 想偷腥干嗎還結婚呢 I don't get it. Why get married if you're gonna cheat?
他又沒說要偷 Well, he didn't say he was going to cheat,
只是說他保留此權利 he just said he was allowed to cheat.
你咋聽出這層意思的 Is that how you heard it?
其實 我們也管不著 Well, it's not really any of our business.
可是他親口說的耶 Except, he told us.
我的意思是 I'm just saying, I think
每對夫妻都有權約法三章 every couple has the right to make their own rules.
不盡然吧 婚姻非兒戲 Well, not really. It's marriage.
-有人想來杯雞尾酒嗎 -我 - Hey, who wants a cocktail? - Oh, I do.
順便看看有吃的嗎 我想來點點心 And see if they have any food. I need a little nosh.
八年之后 Eight years later,
她終于成了一個猶太人 she's finally a Jew.
斯坦尼 你可真純潔 Oh, Stanny. You're wearing white.
宛若處子 Like a virgin.
情竇初開 Touched for the very first time.
你覺得婚禮安排的怎么樣 So, what do you think of everything?
你居然有天鵝 You have swans.
-過分了嗎 -天鵝怎么能是多余呢 - Too much? - When are swans ever too much?
我也不知道怎么想到的 I don't know what came over me.
記得嗎 有年夏天我就迷上可樂了 Remember that summer when I got hooked on coke?
-記得 -就是那種感覺 - Mm. - This was like that.
你瘦了很多 Well, you dropped quite a bundle.
打十九歲起 我就等著這一天呢 Well, I've been saving for this day since I was 19.
你一直都相信婚姻嗎 You always knew you were gonna get married?
沒錯 只是我以為 Yes. I just thought
會娶個能干的胖乎乎的猶太老婆 it would be to a chubby, patient Jewish girl.
透露一下 安東尼正在外邊宣稱 FYI, Anthony's out there telling people
你準他偷腥 he's allowed to cheat.
我知道 I know.
他討厭循規蹈矩 所以對著干 He hates the tradition so he pushes against it.
這你就準他了 So he is allowed to cheat?
對 不過只能在那四十五個 Yes, but only in the 45 states
不承認同性婚姻的州 where we're not legally married.
好了 我來幫忙 Okay, now you do mine.
"凱莉·普雷斯頓" "Carrie Preston"?
不行嗎 What?
不是 有點吃驚 Nothing, I'm just surprised
我參加你的婚禮 not to be "Bradshaw"
居然不是以本姓"布萊德肖" at your wedding.
婚禮策劃人覺得 The wedding planner said that
夫妻就要同姓列出 couples are always listed under their married names.
也有道理 Oh, that makes sense.
你會冠安東尼的姓嗎 Are you taking Anthony's name?
不會 我們都是男人 No. We're guys.
"男人" 照照鏡子吧 "Guys"? Have you seen yourself in the mirror,
迪奧行頭夫人 Lady Dior?
臭丫頭 Bitch.
有沒有人送來我的... Hey, did anybody send up my, um...?
襟花上寫的也許是"普雷斯頓" Now, the boutonniere may say "Preston."
但帽子 But the hat
一定是"布萊德肖." says "Bradshaw."
日出 日落 Sunrise, sunset
時光飛逝 Swiftly flow the days
幼苗在一夜之間成長為向日葵 Seedlings turn overnight to sunflowers
在我們注視下綻放 Blossoming even as we gaze
日出 日落 Sunrise, sunset
和凱莉在一起的那個直男帥哥是誰 Who's that hot straight guy with Carrie?
是安東尼的弟弟 尼基 That's Anthony's brother,
你怎么知道他是直男 How can you tell that he's straight?
天分 It's a gift.
還有比這更同志的婚禮嗎 Could this wedding get any gayer?
快看 誰主婚呢 Look who's marrying them.
我的媽啊 Oh, my...
麗莎怎么會同意來主持呢 Why would Liza say yes to this?
萬有引力 It's a law of physics.
只要有地方 Any time there's this
陽氣太盛 much gay energy in one room,
就一準兒找的到麗莎 Liza manifests.
一會兒功夫 就到了 A little while later, it was time
新人交換誓言的時刻 for Stanford and Anthony to exchange vows.
這對新朗娘自己寫了誓..."新郎娘" And now, the brooms have written their own v..."Brooms"?
新郎 新娘 新郎娘 Bride, groom. Broom.
新郎娘 太有才了 Oh, broom. Oh, that's marvelous.
謝謝你 麗莎·明妮莉 Thank you, Liza Minnelli.
現在安靜 Quiet, now.
婚禮是嚴肅的時刻 Weddings are serious.
至少我是這么聽說的 At least that's what I've heard.
算不上是一見鐘情 "It was not exactly love at first sight.
可是 事實證明那是愛 But it turns out, it was love.
你是第一個接受我的... You are the first man to accept me...
我的全部的人 for the man that I actually am."
這就是潛移默化的傳統 That's the thing about tradition.
不管你喜不喜歡 Like it or not, it sneaks in.
恭喜 Mazeltov!
恭喜恭喜 Congratulations.
單身的姑娘們 單身的姑娘們 All the single ladies! All the single ladies!
單身的姑娘們 舉起手來 All the single ladies! Now put your hands up!
在俱樂部里 我們剛剛分手 Up in the club we just broke up,
現在自己找點樂子 I'm doing my own little thing,
你去而復返 指指點點 You decided to dip. But now you wanna trip
因為另一個哥們兒看上我了 'Cause another guy noticed me
我們互相來電 I'm up on him. He's up on me.
別管他 Don't pay him any attention!
為了你三年流盡淚 Cried my tears three good years!
別對我抓狂 Can't be mad at me!
要是你真喜歡 那就戴枚戒指在這吧 'Cause if you liked it. Then you should've put a ring on it!
要是你真喜歡 那就戴枚戒指在這吧 If you liked it. Then you should've put a ring on it!
別對我抓狂 不就看見他對我有意 Don't be mad. Once you see that he wants it!
要是你真喜歡 那就戴枚戒指在這吧 If you liked it. Then you should've put a ring on it!
別拿老一套對付我 Don't treat me to the things of the world!
我可不是普通的姑娘 I'm not that kind of girl!
怎樣了 Hey. How's everything?
還好 蘿絲給她找了不少麻煩 Fine. Rose is giving her a hard time.
要我過去看看嗎 Should I go up to the room?
要你過去還帶保姆干嗎 What was the point of bringing the nanny out here, then?
-沒什么事吧 -沒事 - Is everything okay? - Yeah,
蘿絲有點讓我們抓狂 Rose is just driving us a little crazy.
不至于 那孩子就是脾氣難捉摸 No, not crazy. She's just a little fussy.
其他都還好 Everything's fine.
決定不了 那就獨守孤寂 If you don't you'll be alone
我將一去不返 無影無蹤 And like a ghost I'll be gone
要是你真喜歡 那就戴枚戒指在這吧 If you liked it. Then you should've put a ring on it!
別對我抓狂 不就看見他對我有意 Don't be mad! Once you see that he wants it!
要是你真喜歡 那就戴枚戒指在這吧 If you liked it. Then you should've put a ring on it!
別對我抓狂 不就看見他對我有意 Don't be mad! Once you see that he wants it!
要是你真喜歡 那就戴枚戒指在這吧 If you liked it. Then you should've put a ring on it!
好運 Good luck.
我知道早結婚的好處了 Now I know why we got married.
不用跟著這首歌跳舞 So we wouldn't have to dance to that song at weddings.
只為這個原因嗎 That the only reason?
是的 Yeah.
-我要試試你的頭冠 -沒問題 - I have to try on your crown. - Oh, you have to.
對不起 I'm sorry.
我正在吻你呢 Hey, I'm kissing here.
必須得接 是他打來的 I have to. It's from him.
今天是周末 你在參加婚禮 It's Saturday. You're at a wedding.
你不知道他有多恨我嗎 Did I mention that he hates me?
誰敢恨你啊 Who would dare hate you?
他們事務所的新老板 The new senior law partner at her firm.
沒日沒夜的使喚她 He rides her ass nonstop.
-怎么會 -不懂 - Why? - No idea.
他好像沒法接受我的聲音似的 It's like he can't stand the sound of my voice.
只要我一張口 他就打斷 Every time I open my mouth, he shuts me down.
有時候還對我做這么個手勢 Sometimes he holds his hand up like this:
-天哪 -發郵件的話 還能好點 - Ew! - Yeah. He hates me less over e-mail.
你好嗎 How's it going?
不錯 謝謝 Good. Thanks.
請慢用 Enjoy.
今晚玩得愉快 You have a nice night.
有你才完美嘛 You have a nice night.
-謝謝 -有個男人瞄上我了 - Thank you. - A guy just hit on me.
真的嗎 Really?
感覺如何 How's it make you feel?
我還是很有魅力的嘛 Like I still got it.
那當然了 You most certainly do.
對不起 打擾了 不好意思 So sorry to bother you. I'm sorry.
對不起 Sorry.
-不好意思 打擾一下 -沒事的 - I'm so sorry to bother you. - It's okay.
我是你的忠實讀者 不論書籍還是專欄 I've just been reading your books for years and your column.
向你發誓 我們的約會經歷如出一轍 I swear, we had the exact same dating life.
-是嘛 -直截了當吧 愛倫 - Wow. - Cut to the chase, Ellen.
她的意思是你們如同一個人 She means she is you.
沒錯 如同一人 I am. I am you.
這樣啊 Well, in that case,
那允許我來介紹下我的丈夫 may I introduce you to your husband,
約翰·詹姆斯·普雷斯頓 John James Preston.
-你好 -很高興認識你 - Hi. - Good to meet you.
-你好 -你們結婚多久了 - Hey. - How long have you been married?
下個月就兩周年了 Well, it'll be two years next month.
下個月也是我們兩周年 We're married two years next month as well.
-真的嗎 我們還真像 -我想是的 - Wow. You are me. - I guess.
我們要有孩子了 We're expecting a baby,
決定結婚紀念日的時候生 and get this: the due date is our anniversary.
不過 我還沒懷孕 Well, I'm not pregnant.
你們看的出來吧 Well, I guess that's obvious.
-找了代理孕母 -恭喜你們 - Surrogate. - Wow. Congratulations.
你們有孩子嗎 You guys have kids?
如果你們需要代孕服務 If you need a surrogate service,
我們這家真是沒得挑 ours was flawless.
不用了 謝謝 這不是代孕的問題 Oh, no, thanks. It's not a surrogate situation.
我們不想要孩子 We're just not having children.
你們不要孩子? You don't want kids?
是的 我們都愛孩子 Well, no, we love them.
但是不適合養孩子 It's just not for us.
那么你們家就只有 So it's going to be just...
你們倆個人 you two?
不過下個月她又有本新書要出版了 Uh, but she does have a new book coming out next month.
太棒了 是講什么的呢 Great. Great. And what's that about?
婚姻 Marriage.
這樣啊... Well...
今晚玩的開心 Have a nice night.
一直以來都是薩曼莎幫我做宣傳 And all this time I thought Samantha was my publicist.
我的感覺是 I had to say something.
她看起來好像有人跟她說 She looked like someone told her
這世上沒有圣誕老人 there was no Santa Clause.
請安靜 謝謝 May I have your attention, please?
我兒子以及他丈夫愿意 My son and his husband would like
邀請在座的伴侶一同漫步舞池 to ask all couples to join them on the dance floor.
真是太棒了 Oh, that's very nice, dear.
該說完了吧 我們要去跳舞了 You're done. We're going to dance.
躲得好啊 Fake to the right. Nice.
馬上 馬上 就好了 I'm done. I'm done. I'm done!
與我共舞吧 Dance me.
葛登不萊特太太 是否賞光呢 May I have the honor, Mrs. Goldenblatt?
非常榮幸 You most certainly may.
-來吧 寶貝 -過來 甜心 - Come on, honey. - Come on, sweetie.
我們去跳舞吧 Let's go dance.
想去跳舞嗎 Care to dance?
只有我們兩個 Just us two?
薩曼莎 你看起來真驚艷 Samantha, you look amazing.
是的 確實 你怎么做到的 Oh, yes, you do. What have you had done?
什么也沒做 我可是純天然的 Nothing. I'm 100 percent natural.
我是認真的 我想要知道名字 I'm serious. I need names.
-紳士們 -收到 - Gentlemen. - I heard that.
你剛才看起來真美 想再跳一曲嗎 You looked pretty hot out there before. Wanna dance again?
我可以想到很多 I can think of so many
我更樂意和你做的趣事 other more fun things I'd rather do with you.
-我叫尼基 -薩曼莎 - I'm Nicky. - Samantha.
薩曼莎 很高興認識你 Nice to meet you, Samantha.
尼基 你靠什么謀生 What do you do for a living, Nicky?
蓋樓房 I lay concrete.
聽起來很有前途 That sounds promising.
怎么回事 What the...?
蘿絲 好了 乖 要睡覺了 Rose, come on, now. Come on, now. Sleepy time.
蘿絲 好了 Rose. Come on.
蘿絲 蘿絲 蘿絲 Rose, Rose, Rose.
-拜托 -很好 很好 這里嗎 - Please? - Good. Good. Here?
我們睡覺吧 Let's go sleepy.
拜托 蘿絲 Please, Rose?
來吧 來吧 Come on, come on.
我不知道哪個更糟糕 I don't know which is worse.
當然是薩曼莎 Samantha.
寶寶最終會哭累的 The baby will tire eventually.
我們來制造點良性噪音吧 Let's get a little white noise.
足不出戶 大赦國際 Right from your home. Amnesty International.
訪問任何一個地點 李奎德木業 Visit any location. Lumber Liquid...
你想去哪里 Where do you want to...?
幸運 Jackpot.
一點小小的黑白噪音 A little black-and-white noise.
《一夜風流》 It Happened One Night.
沒看過 Never seen it.
寶貝 包你滿意 Well, kid, you are in for a treat.
到這里來 Climb up in here.
你要做什么 What are you gonna do?
我有自己的絕招 A system all my own.
美艷啊 Oh, that's shocking.
對三十年代的人來說 是的 For the '30s, it was.
你看過它的首映的吧 Did you see it when it opened originally?
不表揚一下我嗎 Aren't you going to give me a little credit?
她很漂亮 She's pretty.
不能和你媲美 She's got nothing on you.
就這樣 大人物和我 There Big and I were...
在瘋狂性愛和小孩的吵鬧中 自得其樂 somewhere between wild sex and a baby.
-嗨 你好 -你好 - Hey, you. - Hey, how are you?
-好啊 伙計們 -你好 - Hi, guys. - How are you?
謝謝 Thanks.
要點餐嗎 Ready to order?
在等個朋友 Um, I think we'll wait for our friend.
-好的 -謝謝 - Okay. Yup. - Thanks.
好的 聽起來好極了 Okay. Yeah, that sounds great.
這樣才健康 That's a whole lot of health.
-有多少種 -四十四 - How many are there? - Forty-four.
我有個一天一包水果卵石[早餐品牌]計劃 I'm on the one-a-day Fruity Pebbles plan.
我們這個年齡的女人不應該輕視維他命 Women our age shouldn't joke about vitamins.
我們可不是一個年齡哦 Women who are not our age shouldn't say "women our age."
-是啊 -不久的將來你會感激我的 - Yeah. - Well, one day very soon you will thank me.
我引領大家度過更年期的困擾 I am leading the way through the menopause maze.
有了我的維他命 褪黑素睡眠膏 With my vitamins, my melatonin sleep patches,
生物雌性激素霜 my bio-identical estrogen cream...
黃體酮膏 還有一點睪丸素 progesterone cream, a touch of testosterone...
-她成了激素推銷員 -沒錯 - She's the hormone whisperer. - I am.
這樣我的身體就更年輕了 I've tricked my body into thinking it's younger.
這樣我的身體就更苗條了 I've tricked my body into thinking it's thinner.
束身褲耶 Spanx.
并且我告訴你們 And I'm telling you,
沒有潮熱 情緒波動這些副作用 no hot flashes, no mood swings...
并且我性欲正常 重回年輕狀態 and my sex drive, it's right back to where it was.
真的嗎 沒聽說過 Really? Hadn't heard.
你從哪里知道這些的 Where are you getting your information?
跟蘇珊娜·薩默斯和她的醫療團隊學來的 From Suzanne Somers and her team of doctors.
我給你一本 這里面揭示了真相 I'll get you a copy. It's a revelation.
你向這個發明了美腿器的女人 You're taking medical advice
進行醫療咨詢嗎 from the woman who invented the ThighMaster?
當然 你沒有看到我的大腿嗎 Damn right. Have you seen my thighs?
好吧 繼續笑吧 但是的確奏效 Okay, go ahead, laugh. It's working.
等你們五十歲的時候 我將像三十歲了 By the time you ladies are 50, I'll be 35.
-牽著媽媽的手 -她來了 - Take Mommy's hand. - Oh, here she is.
我以為只有我們四個人 I thought it was just gonna be the four of us.
不要擔心 保姆馬上就過來了 Don't worry, the nanny will be here in a minite.
哈利打高爾夫還沒回來 Harry's just not back from playing golf.
這里 Oh, here.
讓我抱抱可愛的小蘿絲 Let me hold that pretty little morning Rose.
-不 不 -好吧 算了 - No. No. - Okay, no sale.
她剛學會說不這個詞 She just learned the word "No."
好厲害 我們希望 Good for her. We're hoping
薩曼莎也快學會了 Samantha learns it one of these days.
-可怕的兩歲 -她不可怕 - Terrible twos. - She's not terrible.
不 當然不 她一點也不可怕 No, of course, she's not terrible.
可怕的兩歲小孩兒才可怕 The terrible twos are terrible.
是的 Right.
她現在正處于只要媽媽的階段 She's in the "I only want Mommy" Phase.
還有我和艾琳 And me and Erin.
是的 只要你我還有艾琳 That's right. Just you and me and Erin.
-艾琳是誰 -她的保姆 - Who's Erin? - Her nanny.
你是怎樣把那些全吞下去的 How are you gonna swallow all those?
你還不認識我嗎 Have we met?
艾琳 Erin!
-女士們 早上好 -早上好 - Good morning, ladies. - Morning.
我聽說這是一個非常華麗的婚禮 I hear it was quite the glorious wedding.
是的 It was.
你一定是大名鼎鼎的薩曼莎 Oh, and you must be the famous Samantha.
終于能見到你了 It's a pleasure to finally meet you.
現在 是不是有個小姑娘 Now, I know a little girl...
想去草坪上練習翻筋斗呢 who would just love to practice her cartwheels on the lawn.
你帶了防曬霜嗎 Do you have the sunblock?
過來 小可愛 Come to me, you little pet.
過來 There you go.
-是的 -祝你們早上愉快 - Yes. - You have yourselves a lovely morning.
-你也是 -謝謝 艾琳 - You too. - Thanks, Erin.
-她真好 -我知道 - Oh, that is so sweet. - I know.
這就是你的保姆嗎 That's your nanny?
是的 就是艾琳 Yes, that's Erin.
你說的是不帶乳罩的艾琳嗎 You mean Erin Go Braless.
好好笑哦 她不穿乳罩 Ha, ha. She doesn't wear a bra.
她應聘的時候穿了嗎 Was she wearing a bra at the job interview?
我不知道 薩曼莎 I don't know. Samatha.
當時我只是關心 I was too busy thinking
她在幼教學歷 about her degree in Children's Education...
以及有多少像她一樣的女孩呢 and how much the girls liked her.
她的乳頭從來沒有跳出來嗎 Her tits never came up?
不 從沒 No, her tits never came up.
-并且她很能干 -看的出來 - And she's amazing. - Well, I'm sure she is.
但是 親愛的 應該有條法律 But, honey, there ought to be a
來禁止雇傭這種保姆 law against hiring a nanny that looks like that.
有啊 猶大書[圣經新約一書] Yeah, the Jude Law.
-準備好了嗎 -是的 - Are we ready? - Yes, I think so.
-一 二 三 -好棒 - One, two, three! - Yeah, go!
真棒寶貝 再來一次 That's a good girl! One more time!
看起來并不是只有小孩子 It seems it wasn't only the children
被夏洛特的愛爾蘭保姆 that were captivated by Charlotte's Irish nanny...
以及她的咪咪所吸引 and her lucky charms.
那天晚些時候 我和大人物回到了家里 And later that day, Big and I arrived home.
-屋里好熱 -是啊 - Hot in here. - Yeah.
我給臥室換一下氣 I'll get the air in the bedroom.
-你去搞定客廳 -好 - You get the living room. - Okay.
我和大人物賣掉了奢侈的頂層公寓之后 After Big and I sold the extravagant rooftop penthouse...
認為我們想要住的是... we thought we were meant to live in...
我們決定或許 we decided that maybe
更實際一些 we needed to come a little more down to earth.
因此就這樣去做了 So we did.
確切的說 換到了十二層 Twelve floors, to be exact.
我們或許更加務實了 We may be closer to earth...
但是仍保留一角天堂 but we kept a little bit of heaven.
我們有頂級的壁板 最好的窗簾 We've got excellent panels, some of the best blinds...
已經四點半了 It's 4:30.
定哪家呢 有沒有想吃的 Where should I make reservations? Any cravings?
這里沒有吃的嗎 Don't we have anything to eat here?
什么都沒有 Nothing?
拜托 當初你娶我的時候就知道的 Come on. You knew when you
我是時尚教主而非家庭煮婦 married me I was more Coco Chanel than coq au vin.
那就叫外賣吧 Let's just order in.
上周已經叫兩次了 We ordered in two nights last week.
我們整個周末都在外面 Well, we've been out all weekend.
今天就待在家里吧 Let's just stay home.
好吧 Okay.
沙發很棒 是吧 That couch is good, right?
值得一年半的等待 Worth the year and a half wait.
那個角落再放一個 就大功告成了 All we need is a piece for that corner and we're done.
寶貝 你做的不錯 You did good, kid.
你鞋子蹭到沙發了 You know you have your shoes on the couch, right?
我都說了都一年半了 Year and a half, I'm just saying.
-一定是其他的行李 -不錯 - That must be the rest of the luggage. - Oh, good.
剛才我還以為是鞋警呢 For a minute I thought it might be the shoe police.
而幾天后的早晨 另一個家庭 And a few mornings later, in a different home...
為什么要把老鼠帶到紐約的家里 Why bring rat into New York house?
這樣布萊迪可以贏得二年級科學展覽 So Brady can win the second grade science fair.
是吧 小伙子 Right, B-boy?
是的 我會贏的 Yeah, I'm gonna win.
-拜托坐下 吃點早飯 -我不能 - Sit down, please, have some breakfast. - I can't.
我有一個匯報 一點胃口都沒有 I have this presentation and I'm sick to my stomach.
我過去愛工作愛的要死 I used to love going to work
而現在一想到工作就惡心 and now I'm sick at the thought of it.
給你 Here.
-吃兩口 -謝謝 梅格達 - Two bites. - Thanks, Magda.
你沒必要硬挺 可以辭職 You don't have to put yourself through this. You can quit.
我是一個律師 這就是我 I'm a lawyer. That's who I am.
生命短暫 換個欣賞你的地方 Life's too short. Go someplace where they appreciate you.
在找到一份更好的工作之前 Until you find a better job,
你可以待在家里幫忙 you can be home and help out around the house.
我等了很久才得到這個職位 I've waited too long to get here.
只要搞定就行了 I just have to suck it up.
是啊 Yeah.
媽媽 你今天會去看科學展覽嗎 Mom, you gonna come to the science fair today?
抱歉 寶貝 她去不了 Sorry, honey, she can't.
-媽媽 -是的 她要工作 好吧 -Mommy's... - She has to go to work. Yeah.
我們認為這些新的數字 We think that these new numbers
向大家展示了更進一步的提升 show a much more optimistic upside for us.
我們為客戶節省下來的資金 And the savings that we found for the client...
也可以輕松地彌補 will easily make up for
他們引發的任何水漲的法律費用 any escalated legal fees that they incur.
所以就是雙贏啦 So it's win-win.
全方位的雙贏 湯姆 而且 基于 It's totally win-win, Tom. And what's more, based on...
凱文 我要你從現在開始運作這個 Kevin, I'd like you to run with this from here on.
但這是米蘭達的案件 But it's Miranda's case.
實際上 這是公司的案件 Actually, it's the firm's case,
作為老板 我... and as senior partner, I'm...
有問題嗎 Is there a problem?
我不知道 有嗎 I don't know. Is there?
有什么事私下說好吧 Have something you'd like to say to me in private?
這話不用私下說 I don't know that it needs to be in private.
大家注意了 Okay, and we're all paying attention.
優秀獎得主是 Honorable mention goes
瑞秋的《什么是靜電》 to Rachel for "What is Static Electricity?"
-大家給她熱烈的掌聲 -什么 - Let's give her a big hand. - What?
-我不干了 -你真棒 - I quit. - Good for you.
你還好嗎 You okay?
我會找到另一份工作 更好的工作 I'll get another job. A better job.
我已經給獵頭公司打過電話了 And I already called the headhunter.
布萊迪在哪里 Where's Brady?
我們的一等獎是 Now, our first prize goes to
布萊迪的老鼠迷宮 Brady for his Mouse Maze.
媽媽 我贏了 Hey, Mom, I won!
我做到了 I made it.
我從沒有成功過 I never make it.
-干得好 布萊迪 -好孩子 - Good work, Brady. - Good boy.
你的海豚什么都學會了 Your dolphin has got all the skills...
它要和螃蟹一起游泳了 and it's gonna have a little swim with the crab.
是的 寶貝 Yes, it is, baby girl.
甜心 瞧 它在做什么 Hey, cutie, come look. Now, what does this do here?
看看這個 是用來做什么的 Look at this. Well, what is that gonna do?
一個人的生命中會有很多難熬的時段 There can be many tortured moments in the life of someone...
特別是一個整日寫書的人 who spends her days writing books.
而這種煎熬 The antidote to those moments...
由成品書的姍姍到來終結 is the moment the finished book finally arrives.
-喂 -我是不是庸人自擾啊 - Hello? - Do I have anything to worry about?
你能具體一點嗎 Can you be more specific?
我是說保姆和哈利 I mean with the nanny and Harry.
那只是薩曼莎的想法 That's just Samantha.
但是你也說了猶大書 You're the one who said that thing about Jude Law.
甜心 那只是一個玩笑 Oh, sweetie, it was a joke. You know,
就是接了個話茬 it was right there, I had to go for it.
這很搞笑 And it was funny.
不 不 我真希望沒說過那話 No, no, I really wish I hadn't said it.
-看 媽媽 -寶貝 等一會 - Look, Mommy. - Just a second, honey...
媽媽必須要完成 I just have to finish
明天聚會用的蛋糕 好嗎 these cupcakes for the party tomorrow, okay?
等等 我剛才說到哪里了 Hey, wait, what was I saying?
你應該感到威脅 Should you be threatened.
我提到威脅了嗎 Did I say "threatened"?
我應該感到威脅嗎 Should I be threatened?
看 媽媽 看 Look, Mommy, look.
好的 寶貝 讓我先把 Okay, honey. Let me just put
蘿絲放到她的椅子上 凱莉 rose in her chair. Carrie?
你等我一會 I'm gonna put you down for a second.
我要把孩子放下 馬上回來 I'm gonna put the baby down, I'll be right back.
沒事 沒事 甜心 It's okay. It's okay, sweetheart.
-我知道 -看 媽媽 看 - Oh, I know. - Look, Mommy, look.
寶貝 Oh, precious.
-看看我 -好的 - Look at me. - It's okay.
看 看 Look. Look.
好了 我在聽了 Okay, I'm listening.
薩曼莎說之前 你擔心過嗎 Well, did you have any worries before the Samantha comment?
不 當然沒有 No, of course not.
我喜歡艾琳 也信任哈利 I love Erin and I trust Harry.
我相信你已經回答了自己的問題 I believe you just answered your own question.
我 我 我 我 Me, me, me, me!
莉莉 這條裙子可是復古款 Lily! This skirt is vintage.
-什么裙子 -那條奶油色的華倫天奴 - What skirt? - It's the cream Valentino.
甜心 好遺憾 Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry.
我要掛了 I've gotta go!
莉莉 看你做的好事 Lily, look at what you did!
媽媽要去拿點東西 好嗎 Mommy just has to get something, okay?
媽咪 Mommy.
媽咪 媽咪 媽咪 Mommy, Mommy, Mommy.
媽咪一會兒就出去 Mommy will be out in a minute.
媽咪 媽咪 Mommy, Mommy.
媽咪 Mommy.
我剛要多拿一些糖 I was just getting more sprinkles.
姑娘們 Girls.
我們到我的房間里玩 Let's go and play in my bedroom.
媽媽需要一些烹飪時間 Mommy needs some cooking time.
夏洛特很感激艾琳能及時趕到 Charlotte was thankful to have Erin come home at that moment.
無所謂有沒有威脅 Threat or no threat.
無所謂穿沒穿乳罩 Bra or no bra.
好樣的 來吧 親愛的 Good. Come on, darling.
現在從上東區的不穿乳罩 And from no bra on the Upper East Side...
穿越到時代廣場的不穿內褲 to no panties in Times Square.
現在是十二點 您的午飯是十二點半 It's 12 and your lunch is at 12:30.
我正在梳理打扮 I'm just freshening up.
給飯店打電話 Call the restaurant and
告訴他們我要晚十五分鐘到 tell them I'm going to be 15 minutes late.
薩曼莎·瓊斯 Samantha Jones.
史密斯·杰洛德在線上 Smith Jerrod's on the phone.
提醒我一下 Refresh my memory.
我們怎么認識的 How do we know each other again?
你曾做過我的宣傳 You used to do my publicity.
沒有想起來 Doesn't ring a bell.
你曾經和我做過 You used to do me.
想起來了 想起來了 Oh, ding, ding ding.
洛杉磯怎么樣啊 How's L. A?
我在阿布扎比[阿拉伯聯合酋長國之一] I'm in Abu Dhabi.
你回到中東去了嗎 You're back in the Middle East?
正在為我演的電影拍海報 Yeah. We're shooting the poster for the movie I made here.
剛剛發覺我們要在紐約首次公演 And I just found out that we're premiering in New York.
我打電話是邀請你一起走紅地毯 I'm calling because I want you on that red carpet next to me.
史密斯 Smith.
-是嗎 -當然 是的 - You do? - Hell, yeah.
沒有你就沒有我的今天 My career never would've happened without you.
除了你我還會與誰共度我的重要時刻 Who else would I take to my big night?
真體貼 That is so sweet.
寶貝 我得掛了 Oh. Honey? I gotta go.
我要穿上我的內褲去赴午餐約會 I'm pulling up my panties to get to a lunch date.
不是自夸 Not to brag...
可這算不算一頓美味的周年紀念餐 but did I make us a delicious anniversary meal?
確實很美味 It was delicious.
而且你確實自夸了 And you did brag.
沾了一丁燴牛膝 You have a little osso buco right...
搞定了 there.
瞧 這就是在家里吃飯的特別待遇 See, that's one of the perks of eating at home.
你可以親吻一下廚子 You get to kiss the cook.
還不用給小費喲 And no tipping.
-還要酒嗎 -要 謝謝 - More wine? - Yes, please.
周年快樂 Happy anniversary.
-現在嗎 -現在 - Now? - Yes, now.
趁我還沒被你的美味佳肴弄得暈頭轉向 Before I'm lulled into a coma by your light Milanese fare.
太棒了 Very nice.
這可是復古經典款 一九六八年的 It's vintage. It's from 1968.
真是太棒了 Very, very nice.
而且還刻了字 And it's engraved.
"我和你 "Me and you.
只有我們倆" Just us two."
我的禮物在臥室里 Your gift is in the bedroom.
最好是我還沒見過的 There better be something in there I haven't already seen.
我見過這桌子了 Well, I've seen the desk.
可你還沒見過桌子里的東西 But you haven't seen what's in the desk.
目前最先進的 平板電視 A state-of-the-art flat-screen.
睡覺的時候 把它抱在懷里 And when bedtime comes, take them in your arms...
-還有 -進入夢鄉 - And... - into your dreams.
動物機器人推出狗狗系列 可單獨購買 WowWee Alive comes in pups. Each sold separately from WowWee.
這樣我們就能蜷在被窩里看黑白老電影了 So we can lay in bed and watch old black-and-white movies.
我只聽見了"老"字 The only word I heard in that sentence was "Old."
別這樣 你記不記得我們在酒店 Come on. You remember how nice it was...
看《一夜風流》那次 多愜意啊 at the hotel watching It Happened One Night.
是的 那次很不錯 Yes. And it was nice
因為只有一次 還是在酒店里 because it only happened one night in a hotel.
我搞砸了嗎 Did I fuck up?
送個首飾就會很不錯啊 Well, a piece of jewelry would've been nice.
你能邀請我和大人物 Can you get me and Big...
去史密斯的首映式嗎 invited to Smith's premiere?
-當然 沒問題 -太好了 - Oh, yeah, sure. - Good.
我覺得我們需要煥發點魅力 I think we need some glamour.
知道嗎 那個電視和那些外賣 You know, the television and the ordering in...
好像頂著"已婚人士"的標簽一樣 it's just getting a little too "Mr. And Mrs. Married."
-你會很享受的 -是啊 - You'll have a good time. - Yeah.
瞧啊 Look at that.
真不錯 Very nice.
做首映式禮服簡直無敵了 It is a fabulous dress for the premiere.
要是我穿這件 他們會說什么 What's the worst thing they could say about me in this dress?
"她以為她是誰" "Who the hell does she think she is?"
我就想聽這個 Just went to the top of my list.
那 你和史密斯 So, um, you and Smith.
你們一起去首映式 以什么關系 You're going to this premiere together as?
就是朋友 Oh, honey, just friends.
不過要是我喜歡那電影 我就上他 But I may throw him a fuck if I like the movie.
真有你的 這樣就不用在意那些評論了 Oh, that's nice. That should take the edge off the reviews.
凱莉 好久沒在這看到你了 Carrie. I haven't seen you here in forever.
是啊 最近在忙裝修 顧不上臭美了 Yeah, I know. I've been cheating on fashion with furniture.
需要些什么 So, what can I help you with?
給我朋友薩曼莎尋覓一件紅毯禮服 Well, we need to find a red-carpet look for my friend Samantha here.
已經找到了 And I think we found it.
這件會不會有點太嫩了 Is that maybe a little young?
我不知道 I don't know.
你覺得我有多老 Exactly how old do you think I am?
這根本不是問題 And not that it matters...
我他媽五十二了 就要穿這件 but I am 50-fucking-2 and I will rock this dress.
我去給你找個試衣間 I'll get you a changing room.
你的寫作怎么樣了 還在《時尚》嗎 So Carrie, how's the writing going? Still working for Vogue?
-自由職業 -真棒 - Freelance. - Oh, that's fabulous.
你一定要這樣對她嗎 You had to do that to her?
要不她怎么吸取教訓 Well, how else is she gonna learn?
說到《時尚》 And speaking of Vogue...
趁著你的新書發布 they want you to write a piece...
他們希望你寫篇東西 to accompany the release of your book.
好啊 Oh, great.
有高端媒體評論這本書沒 Has there been any long-lead press reaction to the book yet?
還沒 不過我擔保都會是贊揚之聲的 Not yet, but I'm sure it'll all be fabulous.
是你嗎 Is that you?
我覺得是 I hope so.
-還能是誰啊 -送外賣的 - Who else has a key? - The Gristedes delivery boy.
是嗎 Really?
你想要送餐上門 總得冒點風險 Well, you know, you want food at home, that's a risk you take.
別放松得太早 Don't get too comfortable on that couch.
我們馬上要出席首映式了 We have to be at the premiere in an hour.
今晚嗎 Is that tonight?
-周一啊 -是的 - On a Monday? - Yes.
我們周一不出門的 We don't go out on Mondays.
首先 我不知道我們有這規矩 Well, first of all, I didn't know we didn't...
其次 有什么問題嗎 and second of all, problem?
股市跌了一百個點 The market fell a hundred points...
還得要我穿戴整齊 and now I have to get dressed up...
去參加娛樂活動 and go to some Hollywood thing?
你只要換件干凈衣服就行了 All you have to do is put on a fresh shirt.
你不能一個人去嗎 Can't you go without me?
我不想一個人去 我想和你一起去 I don't wanna go without you. I wanna go with you.
這才是關鍵 That's the point.
我和你 一起去尋歡作樂 Me and you out on the town.
我已經玩了三十年了 I've been out on the town for 30 years.
已經玩夠了 丫頭 I've seen the town, kid.
你去和朋友們好好享受吧 You go have fun with your friends.
可我想和你待在一起 But I wanna spend time with you.
如果你想和我待在一起 那就別去了 Oh, well, if you wanna spend time with me, we'll stay here.
待在家里 你把這布置得很完美 At our home. Which you made so perfect.
你就是不想把屁股從沙發上挪開 You just don't want to get your ass off the couch.
好吧 好吧 你不去了 All right, fine. Stay.
我和史丹佛一起去 I'll go with Stanford.
好 Okay.
情報 這是什么 Information. What is it?
那是什么 What's that?
我從麥迪遜大街新開的日本料理 Oh, I picked up some dinner
買的晚餐 from that new Japanese place on Madison.
在這些新事物改變歷史之前 Before their acquisition changed history,
在融合與確定性之前 before the merger, certainty...
在行動和了解之前 湯森路透 before action, knowledge. Thomson Reuters.
把它干了 馬上出發 Throw this back. We're going.
-我以為我不用去了 -我改主意了 - I thought you just said... - I changed my mind.
你真想在人堆里擠來擠去 Do you really want to be pushed and shoved in a crowd
吃亂七八糟的東西嗎 and eat bad catered food?
是的 我就想在人堆里擠來擠去 Yes. Yes. I'm dying to be pushed and shoved in a crowd...
吃亂七八糟的東西 and eat bad catered food.
除了外賣 我什么都想吃 I'm dying to eat anything that doesn't come in a takeout box.
干了 我給你拿件干凈衣服 Bottoms up. I'll put out a fresh shirt.
影迷站右邊 讓模特走左邊 Fans on the right, take models to the left.
我覺得我們穿得過于正式了 你說呢 I think we're a little overdressed, don't you?
請別走在紅毯上 Please walk off the red carpet.
我們是貴賓 看見了嗎 Oh, we're VIPs. See?
亮出你的鐲子 Show your bracelets.
亮出你的鐲子 Show your bracelet.
史密斯 這邊 Smith! Right here!
-再來一張 -再來一張 - One more. - One more.
薩曼莎可真夠火辣的 Samantha looks smoking hot.
那裙子會不會太嫩了 Is that dress maybe a little young?
-麥莉 -麥莉 - Miley! - Miley!
-麥莉 -也許吧 - Miley! - Maybe.
圣母瑪利亞 Mother of God.
她和青春玉女麥莉·賽勒斯撞衫了 She's wearing the same dress as teen queen Miley Cyrus.
尷尬了 不過我沒法不圍觀 I know what's gonna happen, but I can't look away.
這就是紅毯遇難記 It's a red-carpet Hindenburg.
-看這邊 麥莉 -這邊 - Right this way, Miley! - Over here!
尷尬的平方 Awkward times two.
麥莉 麥莉 那是你媽媽嗎 Miley! Miley, is that your mother?
麥莉 麥莉 看這邊 麥莉 Miley! Miley, right here! Miley!
有時候 閨蜜可以是你從來沒見過的人 Sometimes, a girlfriend is a girl you've never even met.
裙子真漂亮 Great dress.
謝謝 Thanks for saying that.
在好萊塢 任何事都無可厚非 And all is right in Hollywood.
剛被推了一下 Just got pushed.
派對上 貴賓廳里的薩曼莎 In the VIP room at the after-party...
發現她似乎置身中東 Samantha found herself in the middle of the Middle East...
正好坐在電影制片人謝赫·哈立德的對面 seated directly across from the film's producer, Sheikh Khalid.
這是我們第一次進軍世界電影市場 This is our first venture into the world film market...
非常榮幸能請到 and we are honored to be represented...
史密斯·杰洛德這樣的美國巨星 by such a magnificent American star as Smith Jerrod.
-謝謝 -謝謝 - Thank you. - Thanks.
你可真應該謝謝薩曼莎 But you should really be thanking Samantha.
都是她的功勞 I mean, it's all her.
沒有她 我只不過是個服務生罷了 I was just a waiter before she came along.
她幫我宣傳 She handled my public relations...
讓我看起來像個明星 and made everybody see me as a star.
真的嗎 Is this true?
這個嘛 Well...
沒錯 yes.
你去過阿聯酋嗎 Have you ever been to the United Arab Emirates?
沒有 我居然沒去過 No, and I could kick myself.
不過我有朋友去過迪拜 But friends of mine have been to Dubai...
他們說那棒極了 and they say it is amazing.
迪拜 Dubai is...
我想不起來那詞英語怎么說了 I am at a loss for the word in English.
迪拜已經不行了 Dubai is over.
-真的嗎 -以所有阿聯酋人民的名義 - Really? - With all respect to my Emirate brother...
阿布扎比才是未來 Abu Dhabi is the future.
一個先進的國際化都市 A progressive, global city
商業 文化和時尚之都 of commerce, culture and style.
-那就是新中東 -新中東 - It is the new Middle East. - The new Middle East.
你該去親自去看看 But you should see it for yourself.
到我的新酒店 做我的貴賓 As my guest, at my new hotel.
在不影響你享受的前提下 And if it does not interfere too much with your wonderful time...
我們也許能談談生意 we might be able to discuss some business.
生意 Business?
也許你能讓我的酒店在美國出名 Perhaps you could make America see my hotel as a star...
就像當年捧史密斯·杰洛德一樣 as you did with Smith Jerrod.
突然就和沙發扯上了 And suddenly, it's all about the couch.
兩年前 我們根本不說"沙發"這詞 Two years ago, we never even uttered the word "Couch."
現在 全都圍著它轉 And now, our entire universe revolves around it.
知足吧 Count your blessings.
想想以前 你甚至沒法讓他在你那留宿 Remember when you couldn't even get him to sleep over?
是啊 我知道 我知道 Yeah, I know. I know.
我們今天出來了 We're out tonight.
他起碼也擠出個笑容 享受享受 He could at least slap on a smile and try to have a good time.
已經崩潰過一次 相信我 Already had a nervous breakdown. No, believe me...
他現在似乎確實很享受 He seems to be having a good time now.
人們覺得西班牙人都不工作 People think that Spaniards don't work...
就是打打盹 喝喝酒 去海灘 that we just take siestas and drink Rioja and go to the beach.
酒吧有免費大蝦 There was a jumbo shrimp free-for-all at the raw bar.
-我得 我馬上回來 -好 - I'm gonna be... I'll be right back. - Okay.
每晚睡覺前 我都跪下祈禱 Every night before bed, I am on my knees praying:
"主啊 請讓它保持原樣吧" "Please, God, let it stay up."
-讓什么保持原樣 -股票市場 - Please let what stay up? - Hi. The stock market.
這是卡門·加西亞·卡瑞昂 This is Carmen Garcia Carrion.
卡麗昂 Carrion.
-卡麗昂 -真棒 - Carrion. - Very good.
她是馬德里銀行的副總裁 She is the Senior Vice President of the Bank of Madrid.
-你好 -你好 - Hi. - Hi.
-這是 -凱莉·普雷斯頓 你好 - This is... - Carrie Preston. Hi.
凱莉·普雷斯頓 很高興見到你 Oh, Carrie Preston. Nice to meet you.
你先生很迷人 Your husband is very charming.
是吧 Isn't he?
看來你挺享受亂七八糟的食物和擠來擠去 So you were right about the catered food and the shoving.
你愿意的話 我準備回去了 So I'm ready to go whenever you are.
-認識你們很高興 -我們也是 - Well, nice to meet you both. - Nice to meet you.
我會試著幫你不讓股票下跌的 I'll try to keep it up for you.
-你真幽默 他很幽默 -是啊 - You're so funny. He's very funny. - He is.
-晚安 -晚安 - Good night. - Good night.
再見 晚安 Bye. Good night.
你們只有這些嗎 Is that all you got?
我們只是想活下去 I mean, all we're trying to do is just keep from getting dead.
該死 Damn!
從最早的《致命捕撈》開始 Since the very first Deadliest Catch...
鏡頭回到七年前 cameras rolled seven seasons ago...
有點吵 It's a little loud.
艦隊已經至少航行了六十多次 the fleet has gone on more than 60 voyages.
提醒一下 這可不是黑白電影 And for the record, that is not a black-and-white movie.
什么 What?
這個電視應該是用來看黑白電影的 That was supposed to be for black-and-white movies...
但現在放的不是黑白電影 and that is not a black-and-white movie.
婚禮上那個同性戀調戲我時 When the gay guy hit on me
你還覺得好笑來著 at the wedding you thought it was funny.
我沒有因為你調情生氣 I'm not upset about the flirt.
我喜歡調情 說實話 I like the flirt. In fact,
你可以打給她 繼續調情 you could dial up the flirt around here a little more.
在我這 你是電視男和外賣男 I get TV and take-out guy...
而在銀行女面前 你就是個魅力男 and Bank of Madrid lady, she gets sparkle guy.
不好意思 我們要說話還是看電視 I'm sorry. Are we having a discussion or watching television?
你怎么就看這個電視不順眼呢 What is it with you and this television?
我不想和那些已婚的人一樣 I don't wanna be one of those married couples...
躺在床上看電視 彼此一言不發 lying in bed, watching television and not talking.
那不是我想要的關系 That is not the relationship I signed up for.
只是個電視而已 又不是世界末日 It's a television, not the end of the world.
也許對你來說不是 Well, maybe to you it's not.
白令海氣候多變 The Bering Sea has many faces.
在家你也不高興 出去你也不高興 You're not happy in, and you're not happy out.
你什么意思 What does that mean?
你想要什么 Well, what do you want from me?
我穿戴整齊 我陪你去了 I put on the shirt, I went to the thing...
你還對我躺床上看會電視 and now you're hammering me
這么有意見 about lying in bed and watching a little TV?
我說 怎么回事啊 I mean, what is the problem?
你看 Look...
我們的后半輩子 it's just going to be you and me...
每天都應該是你和我一起度過的 every night, for the rest of our lives.
可我覺得 And I think that we are going...
我們得花心思去讓我們的后半輩子 to have to work on the sparkle...
活得精彩 for the rest of our lives.
活得精彩 Sparkle.
明白了 Got it.
聽 Listen to that!
隨著聲音變高 浪就開始疊加 When it starts really screaming, the waves stack up,
難對付的就來了 and you've got these big, nasty...
有了杰克拉拉尼強力榨汁機 You can, by unlocking the power of natural juice...
你就能釋放自然的力量 with Jack LaLanne's Power Juicer.
改變你的生活 拯救你的生活 Change your life. Save your life.
你是對自己最重要的人 You are the most important person you have.
如果你不為自己考慮 還會有誰 If you don't do it, who will?
喝果汁可以拯救你的生活 Juicing is the easy way to help save your life.
我保證 And I guarantee it.
別再遲疑 喝得到的健康 So don't delay. Drink yourself healthy.
開始享受新鮮自然的果汁吧 Start enjoying the benefits of fresh, all-natural juice.
現在就訂購杰克拉拉尼強力榨汁機 Order your Jack LaLanne Power Juicer now.
六點零三分
去我原來的住處工作了 不想吵醒你
愛你的莉
過去兩年并不是 The last two years weren't exactly the best time...
賣房的好時機 to put an apartment on the market.
所以我們沒賣 So we didn't.
有時候我會到這來寫作 And from time to time, I'd come here to write.
或者欣賞我的衣服 Or to visit the clothes.
-喂 -你什么時候醒的 - Hello? - What time did you wake up?
我不知道 六點吧 I don't know, about 6.
我正糾結《時尚》那篇稿子 I'm worried about the Vogue article,
我打算動筆了 so I wanted to get started.
你有段日子沒過去了 You haven't written over there in a while.
是啊 我知道 我只是 Yeah, I know. I know. I just...
我不知道 I don't know,
感覺在這邊工作好一點 不容易分心 I thought it would be easier to work here. No distractions.
-好 -不管怎樣 周四要交稿 - Okay. - Anyway, it's due Thursday...
可我還不知道要寫什么 所以 and I'm not even sure what I'm writing yet, so, um...
也許寫完之前我都會在這 Maybe I should just stay here until I get it done.
你要留在那嗎 You're going to stay there?
就兩天 把稿子憋出來就行 Just two days. You know, just to bang it out.
-行嗎 -你覺得行就行 - Is that all right? - Whatever you need.
-沒事吧 -沒事 - Everything okay? - Yeah.
我只是想一個人安靜呆著 No, I just feel like I really need to lock myself in a room...
除了寫作什么也不想 and not think about anything but writing.
好嗎 Okay?
好 Okay.
-就兩天 好嗎 -好 - Just two days. Okay? - Okay.
-那好 -拜拜 - Okay. - Bye.
拜拜 Bye.
除了寫作我別無雜念 And I did think about nothing but writing.
到了第二天 滿腦子都是吃的 Until the next day, when I could think about nothing but food.
終于休息下來 去填肚子的時候 And as long as I was going to break to eat anyway,
我想 為什么不叫上閨蜜們呢 I thought:"Why not call the girls?"
阿布扎比一周游 所有費用全包 One week in Abu Dhabi, all expenses paid.
我一直很向往中東 I've always been fascinated by the Middle East.
你們知道的 沙漠的月亮 You know, desert moons...
天方夜譚 魔毯 Scheherazade, magic carpets.
像阿拉丁的茉莉那樣 Like Jasmine in Aladdin?
是啊 親愛的 就像茉莉一樣 Yes, sweetie, just like Jasmine.
還有雞尾酒 But with cocktails.
太刺激了 你什么時候去 It is exciting. When are you gonna go?
我不知道 你們什么時候有空 I don't know. When can you all be free?
沒有你們 我可不想去 You didn't think I was going without my gals.
-什么 -我跟謝赫說我去是有條件的 - What? - I told Sheikh I'd go on one condition:
我要帶上三個閨蜜 I'd get to bring my three best girlfriends.
-出去玩玩兒 -就是這個意思 - Get out of town. - My point exactly.
乘謝赫的航班 And we are being flown on the Sheikh's own airline.
他有專屬航班啊 He has his own airline?
謝赫可真行 Oh, that is one chic Sheikh.
超級 超級 超級頭等艙 Super, super, super first class.
飛機上還有私人套房 And you get your own individual suite on the plane.
-天哪 -所有人所有費用全包 - Oh, my God. - All expenses paid for everything for all of us.
我們要做的就是空出一周 All we have to do is pick the week.
越快越好 我聽見墮落生活的召喚了 And the sooner, the better. I can hear the decadence calling.
讓我看看日程安排 無所事事 Let me just check my work schedule. Yeah. All clear.
我要通知一下我家那位 I gotta check with the old ball and chain,
不過肯定能去 中東 我來了 but I'm good to go. Middle East me.
夏洛特 三周后怎么樣 Charlotte, how's three weeks from now?
我不知道 我 Oh, I don't know. I...
我們得這個月去 We have to go this month.
下個月就太熱了 會烤焦的 Next months it gets so hot, you'll burst into flames.
我打賭網站上可沒寫這個 I bet that's not on their website.
我不知道能不能去 I mean, I don't know if I can go at all.
我有兩個孩子 I have two children.
是的 但你有丈夫呢 Yes, yes, but you have a husband.
還有個全職保姆 你自己說的 And a full-time nanny. You said so yourself.
孩子們喜歡那保姆 不是嗎 The kids love the nanny, right?
是 但是... Yes, but...
但是什么 有問題嗎 But what? What's the problem?
自從凱莉和大人物的蜜月災難之后 I mean, we haven't been anywhere together...
我們就沒一起去過什么地方... since Carrie and Big's wedding blowup honeymoon disaster.
-過去的事了 -那都兩年前了 - Memories. - And that was two years ago.
我受夠了這兩年的 Two years of bad business
工作不順和經濟蕭條 and this bullshit economy, and I'm done.
我們得去富足的地方 We need to go somewhere rich.
-薩曼莎 我很開心...-不行 - Samantha, I appreciate the...- No.
我為了你參加了孩子們的生日聚會 I go to children's birthday parties for you.
你得為了我去阿布扎比 You are going to Abu Dhabi for me.
孩子們的生日聚會 Children's birthday parties.
她早有預謀 Pulling out the big guns.
-好吧 -謝了 - Okay. - Thank you.
瞧我們 要去阿布扎比 Look at us. Going to Abu Dhabi.
《婚姻與糟糕的二人關系》
-喂 -事情怎么樣了 - Hello. - How'd it go?
剛結束 謝謝你的配合 Just finished. And thanks for the time.
你換裝吃晚飯要多久 How soon can you be dressed for dinner?
我訂了九點的座位 I have 9:00 reservations.
已經八點半了 It's 8:30 already.
我就在樓下 I'm downstairs.
就像這樣 仿佛回到1998年 And just like that, it was 1998 again.
馬上就好 I'll be right down.
-你好 寶貝 -你好 - Hey, kid. - Hey.
我想念你 I missed you.
我也想念你 I missed you.
我們外出享用了一頓愉快的晚餐 We had a wonderful dinner out.
回到家后 And back at home...
電視一夜無言 the television stayed off the entire night.
很快 我們就去中東了 And pretty soon, the Middle East was upon us.
我需要這個 I need that.
-都打包好了嗎 -還差一個 - Almost packed? - One more to go.
我要和你談談 I had an idea I wanted to talk to you about.
記得你占用兩天 Remember when you took
撰寫文稿 those two days away to finish your article...
之后我們度過了一個愉快的夜晚嗎 and then we had that great night?
也許我們可以考慮每周做一次 Maybe we should think about doing that every week.
聽我說完 Hear me out.
你在你的舊公寓 After you took those two
度過那兩天后 我開始考慮 days at your old apartment, I started thinking:
我也找個地方度過如何 What if I got a place?
你想要個專屬公寓嗎 You want your own apartment?
不 不是專屬公寓 No, not my own apartment.
只是個每周可以住兩天的地方... Just a place that I can go two days a week...
躺下來 看看電視 lie around, watch television,
做我想做的而你卻不喜歡的事 do the shit I wanna do that bugs you.
然后其余五天 And then the other five days...
我可以吃晚餐 I'd be here and available for dinners
活得精彩點兒 and sparkle or whatever.
你是在說 So you're telling me that
你想在我們的婚姻上每周請兩天假嗎 you want two days off a week from our marriage.
你也同樣能休息兩天 And you'd have the same two days.
天啊 Oh, my God.
去工作或者探望朋友 To work or see your friends.
拋開我 做你喜歡做的事情 Do the things you wanna do without me.
但是我不想做任何事的時候沒有你 But I don't wanna do things without you.
凱莉 拜托 我了解你 Carrie, come on, I know you.
你能老實地告訴我 Can you honestly tell me
真的不需要兩天的獨處時光嗎 you didn't enjoy those two days to yourself?
兩天還可以 但我不要每周都這樣 Two days, yes, but I don't need it every week.
你是說每周都這樣嗎 Are you saying you need it every week?
不知道 只是個想法 I don't know, it was just an idea.
值得一試 Something to think about.
婚姻不能這樣兒戲 Marriage doesn't work like that.
我認為我們應該訂立 I thought we were supposed to be
我們自己的規則 making up our own rules.
每周兩天 然后四天 So two days, then four days,
最終永不相見嗎 then what, no days?
會發展成這樣嗎 Is that where this is heading?
早知道你以為我想離婚... I never would've brought it up if I thought...
就不提這事兒了 it was gonna make you think I want out.
聽著 兩年前 Look, I knew two years ago:
我想在哪兒就在哪兒 I am exactly where I wanna be.
每周五天 Five days a week.
我只是在嘗試 Look, I'm just trying to
讓互相相處得更融洽一些 make it a little easier for us to live together.
我們結婚了 I mean, we're married...
但各自真我沒有變 but we're still us.
是因為我總絮叨你嗎 Is this because I'm a bitch wife who nags you?
是我總是令你失望 I feel like I'm disappointing you all the time.
不 你沒令我失望 No, you're not disappointing me.
那就是我做的事 Well, something is.
那我怎么跟閨蜜們說啊 So, what would I tell the girls?
"大人物和我打算每周分別兩天 "Big and I are taking two days a week off...
以使我們的婚姻更美滿"嗎 to make our marriage work better"?
她們不會理解的 They'd never understand.
我不在乎她們是否理解 I don't care if they understand.
這是你我的婚姻 This is our marriage.
我和你 如你所說 Me and you. Just like you said.
凱莉 Carrie...
我們是沒有孩子的成年人 we're adults without children.
我們可以無所顧忌地生活 We have the luxury to design our life.
你不能買你的專屬公寓 Well, you can't get your own apartment.
這會令我難過 而且很浪費錢 That would freak me out and it's a waste of money.
你可以每周在我的舊居住兩天 You can have my old place two days a week.
只是暫時性的 直到我想明白 Temporarily, till I figure out how I feel about this.
并且我可以隨時收回 And I can take it back any time.
成交 Deal.
-車來了 -我幫你拿包 - There's the car. - I'll get your bags.
是啊 你來拿 Oh, yes, you will.
一周后 And in a week,
我會到機場接你回家 I'll pick you up at the airport and take you home.
你的家還是我的 Whose home, yours or mine?
我們的 Ours.
-歡迎 -謝謝 - Welcome. - Thank you.
女士們先生們 Ladies and gentlemen...
我們竭誠歡迎你們 we are pleased to welcome you
登上通往阿布扎比國際機場的班機 onboard our flight to Abu Dhabi International Airport.
-真不錯 -你好 - Nice. - Hi.
歡迎登上阿夫達爾航班 Welcome aboard Afdal Air.
謝謝 Thank you.
謝謝 我喜歡你的帽子 Thank you. I love your hat.
謝謝 Thank you.
我還以為我的帽子太乍眼兒 And I thought mine was gonna be too much.
天啊 Oh, my God.
這比我的第一個公寓還大 This is bigger than my first apartment.
需要熱毛巾嗎 Hot towel?
所有設施都這么漂亮 And everything is so beautiful.
就如我說的 極品中的極品 Just like I promised: the best of the best.
看啊 阿拉伯品客薯片 And look. Arabic Pringles.
好吧 太贊了 Okay, now I'm impressed.
-棗嗎 -您來點棗嗎 - Date? - Would you care for a date?
旅途開始才五分鐘 Not on vacation five minutes and
我就搞到約會了[諧音: 棗] I already got a date.
棗是中東傳統的 Dates are the traditional welcome fruit
迎賓佳果 of the Middle East.
我從這里學來的 I read that in one of these.
你竟然帶來了 Oh. You moving there?
我要讓大家科普一下 I've got us covered.
該做的和不該做的事 The dos and don'ts.
說到不該做的... And speaking of don'ts...
在中東 男人和女人 men and women do not embrace
不能在公共場合擁抱 in public in the Middle East.
不 不 她在跟你說話呢 姐們兒 Eh, eh, eh! No, no, no. She's talking to you, sister.
拜托 我們要去的是新興的中東 Oh, please. We're going to the new Middle East.
當我看這些看煩了 And when I need a break from all the real information...
就看這個 I have this.
小保姆的風流韻事
讓我看看 Let me see this.
太奇怪了 我想知道她怎么評價 Oh, listen. How exotic. I wonder what she's saying.
也許是說不要在 Probably telling us not to
和一個敏感的女人 bring those magazines on a 13-hour plane ride...
同乘十三小時航程的飛機時帶這個雜志 with an impressionable woman.
夏洛特 別看了 Charlotte, honey, don't read that.
我錯了 Sorry.
喝多之后 就看暈乎了 You see, it becomes a "Y" after a few drinks.
-我明白 -女士們 再來一杯嗎 - I see. - Care for another round, ladies?
意思是"是的" It means "Yes."
她學不會這詞的 Yeah, not the best word for her to learn.
你想讀多少遍 How many times are you gonna read that?
大人物和我在考慮 Big and I are thinking about
每周分離兩天 做各自喜歡的事情 taking two days a week apart to do our own thing.
發生了什么事嗎 Is everything okay?
沒 沒有 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
我們只是聊起這個話題 It's just something we're talking about.
他將單獨行動兩天 做他喜歡的事 You know, he would get two days off to do his things...
而那兩天里 我也做我自己的事 and on those days, I would do my things.
比如寫作或者和男士共進晚餐 You know, like write or have dinner with you guys...
或者隨便其他什么事 or I don't know, whatever.
不錯 我頂你 Love it. I'm available.
兩天假啊 你把婚姻弄得像職業 Two days off? You make marriage sound like a job.
算不上職業 沒準有效果呢 Well, it may not be a job, but it's work.
這意味著你也要 Well, would that mean that you would
"休假"兩天嗎 have two nights off too?
你睡哪兒呢 Where would you sleep?
他睡我的舊居 Well, he's gonna stay at my old place...
我待在新家 and I'll stay at our new place.
我喜歡那一瞬間 I loved that time when Steve
當我得知我和史蒂夫在一起 and I knew we were together...
但同時又擁有自我空間時 but we still had our own places.
對雙方都有好處 That was the best of both worlds.
我只是覺得 結婚就是兩個人... I just think marriage is two people...
每個夜晚同床共枕 night after night, sleeping in the same bed.
你床上有四個人同床共枕 You have four people in your bed.
我床上曾經四人共枕[4P] I've had four people in my bed.
不能說啊 No?
女士們... Well, ladies...
我要注射一劑褪黑激素 I am going to slap on a patch of melatonin...
并服用強效安眠藥 and have a seven-star snooze.
-中東見 -晚安 - I will see you in the Middle East. - Night.
這是說 "晚安" It means "Good night."
抱歉 I'm sorry.
請再解釋一次 Explain it again.
到底是怎么回事 Just, what is it really about?
大人物和我只是想訂立些屬于我們的規則 Big and I are just trying to make our own rules.
找一找 You know, figure out
最適合我們的 what works best for us as a couple...
而世俗的... not what society says should work for us.
好吧 天啊 Okay. God.
夏洛特 Charlotte...
我們是沒有孩子的成年人 we're adults with no children.
我們可以無所顧忌的生活 We have the luxury to design our own life.
他想要請兩天假 But doesn't it hurt your feelings that
你不傷心嗎 he would want time off?
你不懂 You just don't get it.
我在非洲上空的某地 Somewhere over Africa...
開始思考我們的關系 I began to wonder about relationships.
外人是否 Can we really ever expect anyone on the outside...
能理解我們之間的關系呢 to understand what goes on between two other people?
跨越了八個時區 Eight time zones and
洗漱一新之后 我們抵達了未來 a change of clothes later, we arrived in the future.
女士們 你們中有誰 Have any of you ladies ever
來過中東嗎 been to the Middle East before?
沒有 這是我們的處女地 No, we're all virgins.
謝謝 Thank you.
請千萬 千萬 輕點 謝謝 Super, super, super gentle. Thank you, thank you.
我很抱歉 但是... I am sorry, but...
你行李里有毒品嗎 do you have any drugs in your luggage?
沒有 只是些荷爾蒙激素 No. Just my hormones.
告訴我這不是真的 You gotta be kidding me.
我很抱歉 阿聯酋的法規 I am sorry. It is just a UAE law.
但這些都是天然 從山藥中提煉的 But they're all natural. They're made from yams.
女士們 這些不是毒品 Ladies, these are not drugs.
我需要聯系大使或使館... Okay, I need to speak to an ambassador or an embassy...
或者處于更年期的人 or someone in menopause.
薩曼莎 冷靜下來 Samantha, please calm down.
這會非常 非常難辦 This is getting very, very midnight express.
好吧 拿走它們吧 Okay. Fine, take them.
要是沒有這些面霜和維生素的話 Without those creams and vitamins,
我馬上就回更年期了 I will go ricocheting back into menopause.
放松 就一周 Relax, it's one week.
這話跟我的要冒出來的胡子說去 Tell that to the beard I'll be growing.
我們把您與謝赫·哈立德的會面 We've set your meeting
安排在了旅程最后 with Sheikh Khalid for the end of your trip...
在那之前 您和您的朋友將體驗到 after you and your friends have experienced...
阿布扎比為您提供的優質服務 the best of what Abu Dhabi has to offer.
體驗現在開始 Which starts right now.
您全程的交通工具 Yours for the entire trip.
四輛全新的邁巴赫 Four new Maybachs.
我們需要四輛嗎 Wow, do we need all four?
安排的就是四輛 It is already arranged.
我自己獨享私人空調 I'll be in my own private air conditioning.
我在此與您分別 I will be departing from you here.
旅店正靜候您光臨 The hotel awaits your arrival.
如果有任何需要 If you need me for anything,
請一定告訴我們 please do not hesitate to ask.
你能幫我看看我的手機 Could you help me check and make sure...
能否接到國外信號 that my iPhone has the proper international code?
我想這點小事 I think that we can find someone not
不必勞人大駕吧 so official to help with that.
他說找他的 He offered.
姐妹們 干什么呢 Hey, what's the holdup?
我們還要盡情游歷阿布扎比呢 We got a lot of Abu Dhabi to do.
阿布扎比一游 Abu Dhabi do.
歡迎來到阿布扎比 Welcome to Abu Dhabi.
-謝謝 -榮幸之至 - Thank you. - Pleasure.
天啊 Oh, my God.
我們遠離故土了[出自《綠野仙蹤》] Oh, Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.
瓊斯女士嗎 Miss Jones?
我是薩菲爾 酒店經理 I am Mr. Safir, the hotel manager.
航班還滿意嗎 I trust your flight was pleasant?
就像張魔毯 Like a magic carpet.
-真迷人 給你 -謝謝 - How charming. For you. - Oh, thank you.
-給你 -謝謝 - Please, for you. - Thank you.
請...謝謝 Please... Oh, thank you.
女士們 請走這邊 This way, if you please, ladies.
我們在阿布扎比怎么給小費 How do we tip in Abu Dhabi?
你有碎寶石嗎 Have you got any loose rubies?
酒店為您準備了 We have many wonderful things planned
很多娛樂項目 for you at the hotel.
-真華麗 -謝謝 - Oh. This is gorgeous. - Thank you.
請享用阿拉伯咖啡 And, please, some Arabic coffee.
-謝謝 -用玫瑰水和小茴香制成的 - Thank you. - Made with rose water and cumin.
意思是"謝謝" That means "Thank you."
-你會說阿拉伯語嗎 -還不太會 - You speak Arabic? - Not yet.
過謙了 Well, you're off to a great start.
味道很獨特 It's different.
不是你的菜 Not your cup of tea.
-那些是什么人 -謝謝 - What's with all the men? - Thank you.
是世界杯球員 Oh, the World Cup trials are here.
他們把球[蛋蛋]也帶來了嗎 Did they also bring their balls?
對 他們有非常多的球[蛋蛋] Yes, they have many, many balls.
這邊是您的私人電梯 This way please, for your private elevator.
-我們有私人電梯 -顯然 - We have a private elevator? - Apparently.
這不是為我們準備的 This can't be for us.
我們肯定來錯地方了 We must not be in the right place.
我有生之中第一次 No, for once in my life,
毫不疑惑地說出 I can say without a shadow of a doubt...
這就是我該來的地方 I am in the exact right place.
誰定的這些帥哥 Who ordered the cute?
歡迎來到朱厄爾套房 Welcome to the Jewel Suite.
-哪位是瓊斯小姐 -是我 - Who is Miss Jones? - I am.
我們熱烈歡迎您和您的貴賓 We are thrilled to welcome you and your guests.
-謝謝 -阿卜杜勒是您的侍者 - Thank you. - Abdul will be your butler...
瓊斯小姐 Miss Jones.
-布萊德肖小姐 -是我 - Miss Bradshaw? - Oh, that's me.
我是高魯 為您服務 I am Gaurau. I will be here to serve you.
謝謝 Thank you.
瑞薩爾服侍霍比斯小姐 And Resir for Miss Hobbes.
是霍布斯 It's "Hobbes."
十分抱歉 I'm so very sorry.
不 這... No, it's...
這不是大事 沒關系 It's not a big deal. It's fine.
阿達曼服侍約克小姐 And Adman for Miss York.
如果您愿意 請隨我們來 If you will, please, follow us.
我們每人都有侍者嗎 We each get our own butler?
說得通 我們每人都有車 Makes sense, we each get our own car.
-圓頂大廳 -約克小姐 這邊 - Rotunda. Miss York, this way, if you will.
約克嗎 怎么不叫葛登不萊特了 "York"? What happened to "Goldenblatt"?
-這是中東 -是新興的中東 - It's the Middle East. - It's the new Middle East.
還是中東 It's the Middle East.
這是書房 配有私人酒吧 This is the den. Complete with its own private bar.
女士們 盡情地喝吧 Belly up, ladies.
還設有私人餐廳 There is also a private kitchen available
日夜供應 for you day and night.
夢想成真了 Dream come true.
這里是非正式的休息室 In here, you will find your informal lounge.
那邊是雙閨房 Through there, the double boudoir.
-閨蜜 -閨蜜 - Roomies. - Roomies.
這邊是沙龍 And in here, the formal salon.
女士們 請移步露臺... And, ladies, out on the terrace...
您可以俯瞰整座院落 you have an overview of the entire grounds.
還設有酒吧游泳池 There's also a bar pool,
五個國際餐廳和一個溫泉療養中心... five international restaurants, a spa...
健身中心和夜總會... a fitness center, a nightclub...
當然還有海濱和沙灘俱樂部 and, of course, the beach and beach clubs.
在晚餐后 I've taken the liberty of arranging
我為各位安排了按摩 massages for you, followed by an early dinner.
之后您可以安睡一整晚 Then you can have a good night's rest
明天醒來神清氣爽 and wake up tomorrow fresh.
我對你剛才的安排 There's nothing I don't love about
非常滿意 everything you just said.
阿卜杜勒為您端來了飲品 Here is Abdul with drinks.
如果您有其他需要... If there is anything you need...
請務必告知我 我們隨時為您服務 please do not hesitate to ask. We are at your service.
這些長袍叫阿巴雅思 The robes are called abayas...
蒙住了全臉 and the veil that
只露出眼睛的面紗叫尼卡巴 covers everything except the eyes is a niqab.
這肯定影響了肉毒桿菌的銷量 Certainly cuts back on the Botox bill.
"女性的穿著 "Women are required to dress
不能對他人具有性吸引力" in a way that does not attract sexual attention."
薩曼莎 你是不是該... Samantha, you gotta...
我們這是在酒店 自由場所 We're at the hotel. It's a free zone.
還是注意點吧 出于尊重 Still. Out of respect.
不得不說 我真的對 Well, I gotta say, I am digging
那些阿布扎比主婦的衣服很好奇 the sequin trim on the real housewife of Abu Dhabi.
那是怎么回事 What's up with that?
年輕的穆斯林女性 Younger Muslim women are
在遵循舊俗的同時會適當與時俱進 embracing old traditions in new and personal ways.
頭巾我還能接受 Well, I could get into the head wrap...
但是嘴前的面紗 看著就詭異 but the veil across the mouth, it freaks me out.
好像她們連說話的權利都沒有 It's like they don't want them to have a voice.
沒錯 荷爾蒙也沒有 Yeah, or hormones.
所有出售荷爾蒙的網站都被封鎖了 I cannot find one internet hormone site that's not blocked.
至少你電話還有信號 At least you know your phone is working.
我發給哈里短信 I can't get Harry to respond
他一條都沒回 這壓根就不是他的作風 to any of my texts and it's not like him.
你下飛機時 不是剛跟他通過電話嗎 But you called him when you arrived, right?
是 但都過了一小時了 Yeah, but that was hours ago.
快看面紗女吃薯條 French fries for the lady with the veil.
她怎么吃啊 How is she gonna do that?
吃一根撩起一次 A lift for every fry.
為了油炸食品犧牲可真大 That is a major commitment to fried food.
現在紐約時間幾點 What time is it in New York now?
好了 親愛的 你不能再這樣了 Okay. Sweetie, you gotta stop.
什么意思 What do you mean?
你著了魔似的 You are obsessing about something
擔心六千七百英里外的事 that is happening 6700 miles away...
卻錯過了隔壁桌那個 and you're missing the woman
面紗女吃薯條這么有趣的事 with the veil eating french fries at the next table.
這可是我們的友誼之旅 Consider this an interfriendtion.
拜托你不要再糾結你家保姆了 You have to stop obsessing about the nanny.
這都怪薩曼莎 Well, it is all Samantha's fault.
我本來無憂無慮 I was perfectly happy and
都是她個大嘴巴 then she went and opened her big mouth.
不如給她帶個尼卡巴 Maybe we should get her a niqab.
聽著 我警告你 別跟我找茬 Look, I warn you right now, don't come down on me.
時差加上荷爾蒙缺失 With the jet lag and the no hormones...
我可不保證什么時候會發飆 who knows what kind of mood swings I'm capable of.
我喜歡你的項鏈 I like the necklace.
你好 Hi.
小姐 Miss?
天哪 Oh, God.
非常抱歉 I'm so very sorry.
沒關系 是我不好意思 我沒... It's okay. I'm sorry. I didn't...
沒想到你還沒回去 I didn't expect you to still be here.
您沒有命令我離開 You did not dismiss me.
我應該下這種命令嗎 Oh. I was supposed to do that?
這樣啊 Oh.
高魯 抱歉 我不知道 I'm sorry, Gaurau, I didn't know.
很榮幸留在這 有什么需要我做的嗎 It is my pleasure. What can I do for you?
沒事 我就是想熱點牛奶 Nothing, I was just gonna warm some milk up,
你回家吧 but you go, go home.
不 請讓我來 我很愿意效勞 No, no, allow me, please. I insist.
我會端給您的 I will bring it to you.
不用了 我等著就好 Oh, you don't have to. I'll wait.
如果您允許 我建議放一點肉桂 If you will permit me, might I suggest a touch of cinnamon?
是我妻子的獨家秘方呢 It is a secret learned from my wife.
好啊 麻煩幫我向你妻子道歉 Well, please apologize to
抱歉這么晚讓你回不去家 your wife for my keeping you here all night.
沒事的 她在印度 It is fine. She is in India.
這樣啊 Oh.
我一個月后才能見到她了 I will see her in one month.
恐怕到時再轉達歉意 就太無厘頭了 I'm afraid if I apologize then, it will hardly make sense.
這么說 你是在這里工作總要兩地跑 So you work here and you travel back and forth?
是的 每三個月 Yes. Every three months,
我放假的時候 若能買得起機票就回去 when I have a break in work and can afford the plane fare.
不會很辛苦嗎 Isn't that hard?
什么 小姐 What, miss?
就是 和妻子分居兩地 Just, you know, being married and spending all that time apart.
時間是次要的 Time does not matter.
重要的是我們每次見面時 When we see each other, each time...
都無比快樂 it is very wonderful.
我很幸運 I'm a lucky man.
接下來 我要嘗嘗這個小蜜餞 Okay, now I'm gonna try one of these little date confections.
我覺得我的仆人是同性戀 I think my butler's gay.
-首先 他太帥了 -這是基因 - First, he's way too cute. - That's genetics.
我問他戀愛史 他說那是隱私 I asked about his dating life and he said it was private.
正常 That's appropriate.
當我問他 他的名字怎么發音時他說 When I asked how to pronounce his name he said:
"阿卜杜勒 就像保拉" "Abdul. Like Paula."
-這就是同性戀了 -沒錯 - And that's gay. - Yeah.
-早啊 -早 - Morning. - Morning.
-早 -睡得好嗎 - Morning. - How'd you sleep?
還行吧 All right.
-薩曼莎 你吃什么呢 -鷹嘴豆泥 - Samantha, what are you eating? - Mm. Hummus.
網上說鷹嘴豆含有大量雌激素 I read online that chickpeas are high in natural estrogen.
紅薯也是 So are yams.
保拉·阿卜杜勒待會就給我拿來 Paula Abdul's getting me some later.
她也來上班了 Is she here too?
早安 小姐 早餐想吃點什么 Good morning, miss. What can we bring you for breakfast?
水果就好 Just some fruit, please.
謝謝 Thank you.
他人真好 叫什么來著 He is so nice. What's his name again?
高魯 Gaurau.
他是印度人 老婆還在印度 He's from India. His wife still lives there.
他們只能 They only see each other
每三個月等買得起機票的時候見一次 once every three months when they can afford it.
我問他會不會很辛苦時 他說 And I asked him if that was hard for them and he said:
"時間是次要的" "Time doesn't matter."
重要的是他們每次見面時 都無比快樂 That each time they see each other it's wonderful.
看吧 婚姻有很多種的 So, see, there are all kinds of marriages.
誰想去阿布扎比舊城的露天集市趕集 Who's up for a morning trip to the souk in Old Abu Dhabi?
什么叫趕集 What's a souk?
就是一個集市 你可以在那買到金子 It's a market where you can buy gold,
香料 紡織品和各種東西 spices, textiles and souk things.
我要去 再喝一小口馬上趕集去 I'm in. One sip then souk.
天哪 Wow.
-真漂亮啊 -我們午飯時候回來 - Oh, it's so beautiful. - We'll be back in time for lunch.
-謝謝 高魯 -謝謝 瑞薩爾 - Thank you, Gaurau. - Thank you, Resir.
好了 Got it.
你們大概沒買過違禁品 You must not have a forbidden experience.
是啊 Oh, okay.
可能會有人向你們兜售黑市腕表 Men may approach you with black-market wristwatches.
看你上鉤了 他們會帶你 If you engage them, they'll move you
進一個小屋向你兜售 那是違法的 to a room and try to sell you items. It is illegal.
除了要注意這個 就沒什么了 Other than that, you'll not have to worry.
那里的人都很誠實 People here are very honest.
開車 Driver.
-好香啊 -是啊 - Mm. Smells so good. - Yeah.
女士們 Ladies.
-違禁品來了 -女士們 女士們 - Forbidden experience coming at you. - Ladies. Ladies.
-不要 沒興趣 -女士們 - No, no. - Ladies.
不要 No.
就這樣 離開違禁品轉身遇見了必需品 And from the forbidden to the necessary.
我要進去這里 I'll be going there.
當然你要進去 Of course you will.
我要回去再買點香料 我還沒買夠呢 I'm going back for more spices. I don't think I got enough.
好的 Okay.
這些好漂亮 These are very pretty.
你會說英語嗎 Do you speak English?
會 Yes.
我能試試嗎 謝謝 May I try this? Thank you.
我先把這個脫... Let me just get them...
謝謝 Oh, thank you.
那么 好的 好的 So, yes, yes.
我要了 I'll take them.
謝謝 Thank you.
好漂亮 So pretty.
稍等... Just...
謝謝 Thank you.
這些 一共多少錢 So, for this, how much?
一百迪拉姆[摩洛哥貨幣] One hundred dirham.
-二十美元嗎 -是的 - Twenty dollars? - Yes.
-加上鞋嗎 -是的 - For shoes? - Yes.
好的 謝謝 Okay, thank you.
這是一百 謝謝 That's 100. Thank you.
不用了 放在我包里就好 Oh, you know what, I'll just put the shoes in my purse.
我騰騰地方 Okay. I'm just gonna make room.
這是開始禱告的聲音嗎 Is that the call to prayer?
是的 Yes.
就在這里 在舊城阿布扎比中心 And there, in the middle of Old Abu Dhabi,
我邂逅舊愛 was an old love.
-那個人把它們藏后面了 -艾登 - The guy hid them back there - Aidan.
這是我有過的最美麗的幻覺 This is the best mirage that I've ever had.
還有一次在亞利桑那被佩奧特掌扎得 And I did some peyote once in Arizona
暈頭轉向 that blew my head off.
快來讓我抱抱你 Come here, you.
這里讓抱抱嗎 Is this allowed here?
怎么會... What the...?
你怎么...你怎么會來阿布扎比的 Abu Dhabi? What? You? Why?
我聽說這里鞋賣的很便宜 Well, I heard about this amazing deal on shoes.
開玩笑啦 我和她們幾個一起來的 No, I'm here with the girls.
薩曼莎給我們弄到的公關福利旅行 Yeah, Samantha worked us all in on her free PR trip.
你是...怎么會到這來 And you? What?
這是我采購之旅的第三站 I'm on the third leg of a buying trip.
先去的巴厘島 印度 然后是這兒 Bali, India, here.
我賣家具的時候配上進口毛毯 Yeah, I import rugs to sell with the furniture...
怎么越說越像陌生人了 快來再抱抱 and I'm talking like I don't know you. Come here again.
天哪 Holy moly.
我和米蘭達一起來的 我不知... You know, Miranda's here with me, so, I don't...
不如一起吃點烤肉串還是什么的 Shall we grab a kebab or a whatever?
該死 我得跟那幾個合伙人吃午飯 Shoot. I have to eat lunch with my business partners.
他們不太習慣跟女士一起吃飯 And they don't cotton to the ladies at the lunches.
早知道就帶頭巾袍來了 I knew I should've packed my burqa.
我們吃完午飯后會去其它城市 We're going to a different city after lunch.
明天就回來 I'll be back tomorrow.
能請你去吃飯嗎 就你我兩個人 Can I take you out to dinner, just you and me?
這個嘛... Oh. Uh...
我還不知道她們是怎么計劃的 Well, I don't really know what the girls have planned.
你知道米蘭達把我們行程安排得很... You know, Miranda's got us scheduled pretty...
沒關系的 你有時間的話... It's okay. Look, if you have the time...
當地人可說過 the locals say that the
我酒店餐廳的麻哈麻拉[菜]是一絕啊 restaurant at my hotel has the best muhammara in town.
這是我的全球通手機號 That's my international cell.
全球通手機 International cell.
看你 成功人士了 Look at you, all grown-up.
我得先走了 I should get going.
他們覺得讓別人等著很失禮 They consider it rude to keep people waiting here.
拜 Bye.
他們還覺得 They also consider it
不打給前男友共進晚餐也很失禮哦 rude not to call an old boyfriend for dinner.
凱莉 Carrie!
多么神奇啊 How weird is this?
他看起來怎么樣 How did he look?
一點都沒老 Like no time had gone by.
-你告訴他你結婚了嗎 -告訴了 - Did you tell him you and Big got married? - Yes.
我一見面就說 Those were the first words out of my mouth.
"這么巧在阿布扎比遇見 "Hey, we're here in Abu Dhabi
我和那個你恨透了的男人結婚了" and I married that man you hated."
-他還是有婦之夫 -不知道 - Is he still married? - I have no idea.
帶著婚戒沒 Was he wearing a wedding ring?
應該是帶了 I believe he was.
你會約他吃晚飯嗎 Are you gonna have dinner with him?
我們這是友誼之旅 We're here to spend time together.
-就我們四個 -這就對了 - Just the four of us. - Right.
大腿收一收 Um, legs.
米蘭達 這是游泳池好不好 Miranda, I'm at the pool.
-還要我多保守 -穿鯊魚皮比基尼吧 - What am I supposed to wear? - How about a burkini?
禮品店有賣哦 Yeah, they have them at the gift shop.
去它的吧 Forget about them.
快看 Look.
泳池邊 澳大利亞橄欖球隊 Arriving at the pool, direct from a sweaty practice match:
直接從大汗淋漓的賽場而來 The Australian rugby team.
誰點了美味的澳洲香腸 Who ordered the Aussie sausage?
大事不妙了 This is a disaster.
看著滿滿一泳池的性感到爆的帥哥 I have a whole pool of testosterone from down under...
我居然一點性趣也沒有 and I'm not feeling anything down under.
終于來了 我的雌激素正式放空 It's official. The estrogen has left the building.
我以"友誼之旅"的名義鄭重指出 Okay, I am pulling an interfriendtion.
如果不讓我說哈里的事 If I can't talk anymore about Harry...
那也不許她再提什么荷爾蒙了 then she can't talk anymore about hormones.
我再也吃不下紅薯了 I can't eat any more yams.
抹點兒試試 Couldn't hurt.
姑娘們 我們來這兒是找樂子的 Ladies, we came here to have fun together.
我 作為一個超級控制狂 And I, being the type-A control freak that I am...
已經排了滿滿的阿布扎比日夜歡樂計劃 have planned a full day and night of big Abu Dhabi fun.
我要把這次"友誼之旅" I am gonna turn this interfriendtion...
變為"有樂之旅" into an interfuntion.
還是沒感覺 Still nothing.
謝謝 Thank you.
謝謝你 高魯 Thank you, Gaurau.
-天哪 -你不是說我們來吃午飯嗎 - Oh, my. - You said we were going to lunch.
是啊 先騎駱駝再吃飯 多好玩啊 We are. Camels, then lunch. It'll be fun.
不是說不好玩 Not to not be fun...
不過 我沒穿能騎駱駝的衣服啊 ...but I'm not really dressed to get on a camel.
我早安排好了 I've got that covered.
-什么 -酒店的禮物 - What? - Gift of the hotel.
別擔心 我都是讓阿卜杜勒精挑細選的 And don't worry, I had Abdul pick them out.
真的假的 Serious?
在貝都因帳篷里更衣可以嗎 Care to change in the Bedouin tent?
貝都因 巴斯 Bedouin, Bath
還有什么更異域情調的嗎 and Beyond.
還是沒信號 Still nothing.
謝謝你 高魯 可以 Thank you, Gaurau, yes.
真是太激動人心了 This is very exciting suddenly.
扶我一把 等等 Help. Wait, wait. Help.
鞋跟 有沙子 好燙啊 Heels. Sand. Hot.
-我開始潮熱 -你好得很 - I'm having a hot flash. - You're fine.
真的 已經開始了 Seriously, they're starting.
聽好 在阿拉伯大沙漠里騎駱駝 Look, you're on a camel in the middle of the Arabian desert.
你要是不潮不熱 那八成是就死翹翹了 If you're not having a hot flash, you're dead.
-覺得怎么樣 -太爽了 - What do you think? - This is fabulous.
是我電話 天哪 我電話響了 There's my phone. Oh, my God. It's my phone.
這是那家公司的號碼信號這么好 Who's her long distance provider.
喂 哈里 你都在干什么呢 Hello, Harry? What have you been doing?
我把你吵醒了嗎 I woke you up?
哈里 等下 這信號不好 Harry, wait. You're going in and out.
你現在能聽見了嗎 Can you hear me now?
哈里 Harry?
米蘭達 我要掉下去了 Miranda, I'm falling!
先生 她要掉下去了 Sir, she's falling!
你沒事吧 Are you okay?
-謝謝你 -沒事 - Thank you. - It's okay.
你沒傷著吧 Are you all right?
沒有 沒有 Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
駱駝小腳趾露出來了[暗指夏沒穿內褲] Wow, you have an actual camel camel-toe.
有什么好笑的 Oh, it's not that funny.
中間小沙坑都露出來了 She's having a little sand wedge.
哈里 喂 Harry? Hi!
哈里 你還在聽嘛 Harry, are you there?
我剛從駱駝上掉下來了 I just fell off a camel.
謝謝你 先生 Thank you, sir.
你收到我短信沒有 Did you get my texts?
四個男仆居然能把這么多食物和衣服 It is amazing how much food and
裝在四個行李箱中 著實令人贊嘆 clothing four butlers can fit into four Maybachs.
-謝謝 -請盡情享用 - Thanks. - Enjoy.
真好看啊 Gorgeous.
敬弗德 馬祖克 還有... To Fouad and Marzouk and...
- 哈提米 - 哈提米 - Hatimi. - Hatimi.
-是的 -謝謝 - Yes. - Thank you.
十分抱歉 女士們 打擾你們午餐了 My apologies, ladies, for disturbing your fun.
高魯 朋友 麻煩你 Gaurau, my friend, if you
幫我個忙 給酒店打電話告訴他們 would do me the kindness of calling the hotel...
告訴他們我會晚到一兩個小時 telling them I'll be an hour or two late.
愿意效勞 先生 My pleasure, sir.
有日落與沙丘為伴 What's the sense in a boring business dinner...
誰還去參加無聊的晚餐上談生意 when you have sand dunes and sunset?
我說的對嗎 Am I right?
你們都看見了吧 You all saw that, right?
天哪 我絕對看見了 Well, I sure did.
那大帥哥是誰 Who's Lawrence of Arabia?
他是個丹麥設計師 He's a Danish architect who
每次來阿布扎比都會住在酒店里 stays at the hotel each time he's in Abu Dhabi.
-人很好 -人很帥 - Very nice man. - Very hot man.
姑娘們 我確定已經非常有性趣了 Well, ladies, I am definitely feeling something down under.
別 別這樣 No, don't, don't.
而且他還住在我們的酒店里哦 And he's staying at our hotel.
我下面小妹妹的福音啊 Lawrence of my labia.
那感覺宛若初次 It feels like the first time
那感覺宛若最初次 It feels like the very first time
那感覺宛若初次 It feels like the first time
那感覺宛若最初次 It feels like the very first time
卡拉Ok在美國 玩膩了 Karaoke in the U.S., tired.
卡拉Ok在中東 真新鮮 Karaoke in the Middle East, fresh.
那些女人為什么 Now, why are those women
可以袒胸露乳的 allowed to show their bellies and chests?
這個 據我了解 Well, from my research,
某些肚皮舞夜店是允許的 there's some kind of nightclub-belly-dancer loophole.
道貌岸然的教徒可真聰明 Oh, those clever religious men.
不好意思打擾一下 我是說"打擾鳥" Oh, excuse me. I mean, marhaba.
好吧 給我們再上一輪香檳 Okay. Could we get another round of champagne?
-好的 -好 - Okay. - Okay.
"灰常"感謝 Shukran very much.
再來一輪 Another round?
看來某人在阿布扎比很能玩哦 You are fun in Abu Dhabi.
在紐約的時候我也很能玩啊 I'm fun in New York.
至少這兩年沒玩過 Not for the last two years.
是嗎 你覺得這就叫能玩了 等著瞧 Oh, really? You think I'm fun now? Just wait.
這感覺宛若初次 It feels like the very first time
大家別起哄了 Give it up, people.
別起哄了 人家很賣力唱呢 Give it up, Abu Dhabi.
很賣力給你們唱呢 He's working hard, hard, hard for you.
下面有請四位來自美國的姑娘 Next we have four girls from America.
姑娘們 請上臺來吧 Ladies, you have to come to the stage now, please, oh.
手拉手一起上來吧 Put your hands together. Let's go.
很好玩的 多好玩啊 來吧 來吧 It'll be fun. It'll be fun. Come on, come on.
我們都等著呢 美國姑娘們 We are waiting for you, America.
你挑了什么歌 我不會唱怎么辦 What song did you pick? What if I don't know it?
放心吧 保證你會唱 Trust me, you know the song.
這是我們的嗎 Are those ours?
她們要唱歌給我們哦 They're going to sing for us.
我是... I am w...
-沒 還沒開始 -等一下 - No, no, no. Not yet. - Wait for it.
好了 開始了 Now. Now we come in.
我是女人 聽我說 I am woman, hear me roar
我們是不可忽略的 In numbers too big to ignore
我太清楚曾怎樣假裝被忽視 And I know too much to go back and pretend
因我曾聽說過一切 'Cause I've heard it all before
也曾經歷過那黑暗的時代 And I've been down there on that floor
而再也沒人能如那般壓抑我們了 And no one's ever gonna keep me down again
沒錯 我擁有智慧 No Yes, I am wise
而這智慧從痛苦中學來 But it's wisdom born of pain
沒錯 我付出了代價 Yes, I paid the price
但我卻如鳳般涅槃 But look how much I've gained
若必須迎難而上 我將無所不能 If I have to I can do anything
我無比堅強 I am strong Strong
堅不可摧 I am invincible Invincible
我是個女人 I am woman
-咱唱得不錯嘛 對吧 -沒錯 - Pretty good, huh? - Yeah.
大家一起來 Everyone!
我們齊肩而立 Standing toe to toe
如我熱情的雙臂向世界敞開 As I spread my loving arms across the land
我仍舊稚嫩 I am still an embryo
前路仍舊漫漫 With a long, long way to go
直到我讓我的兄弟們懂得 Until I make my brother understand
沒錯 我擁有智慧 Oh, yes I am wise
而這智慧從痛苦中學來 But it's wisdom born of pain
沒錯 我付出了代價 Yes, I've paid the price
但我卻如鳳般涅槃 But look how much I've gained
若必須迎難而上 我將無所不能 If I have to I can do anything
我無比堅強 I am strong strong
堅不可摧 I am invincible Invincible
我無比堅強 I am strong Strong
堅不可摧 I am invincible Invincible
我是個女人 I am woman
這就是美國女人 我聽到了你們的呼喊 Those are the American women. I heard them roar.
我的女神啊 Oh, my goodness.
我是個女人 I am a woman
我在那張桌哦 I got that table
你們唱得太棒了 That was quite a performance.
好戲還在后頭呢 Oh, you haven't seen anything yet.
-晚上好 -晚上好 - Hello again. - Hi.
我先自我介紹一下 Allow me to properly introduce myself.
我叫里卡德·斯伯特 My name is Rikard Spirm.
里卡德 是理查德嗎 Rikard. isn't that "Richard"?
對 那是丹麥語 In Danish, yes.
所以你又叫大屌斯伯特咯 [Dick為Richard昵稱 又有陰莖含義] So your name is Dick Spirm?
再露骨一點算了 Could you be any more American?
我可不這么念 I don't think so.
我想請你喝一杯 Care to join me for a drink?
今晚不行 今晚是姐妹狂歡夜 Oh, I can't tonight. it's girls' night out.
不過我明天有空 But I do have tomorrow free...
隨時奉陪 all day and night.
一起吃個宵夜怎么樣 Perhaps you'd be open for a late dinner.
非常樂意 I'd be open.
你真有趣 You're very funny...
薩曼莎 Samantha.
-再見 女士們 -晚安 - Ladies. - Good night.
我真得感謝你 薩曼莎 I gotta hand it to you, Samantha.
沒有見色忘友 Not blowing us off for a guy in your condition...
真難得 very classy.
誰讓咱們有約在先 Well, we made a deal ages ago.
男人啊 孩子啊 統統靠邊站 Men, babies, doesn't matter.
知己最重要 We're soul mates.
她的話為今天畫上了完美的句點 It was the perfect end to a perfect day.
-早上好 -早上好 女士 - Good morning. - Good morning, miss.
她們去哪了 Where is everyone?
正在露臺吃早餐 Oh, they're having breakfast on the terrace.
這是給薩曼莎的嗎 我可以看嗎 Is this Samantha's? may I?
請便 As you wish.
謝謝 Thanks.
一直以來 她寫的每一本書 "And on and on, one by one,
都會諷刺一下傳統結婚誓言 she lampoons the traditional wedding vows."
誓言本身就是諷刺 Yeah. It's a satire.
而且好笑 And it's hilarious.
等到才女布萊德肖 "Until the talented Bradshaw is
領悟到婚姻生活的復雜性 better able to grasp the complexities of married life...
我們會建議她最好免開尊口 she would be better advised to explore the vow of silence."
建議他有多遠滾多遠 And he would be better advised to go fuck himself.
天哪 God.
《紐約客》 The New Yorker.
這二十年來我一直是它的讀者 I have been carrying it around in my purse for 20 years.
更可惡的是 他們居然把我畫成這樣 And to make it worse, they turned me into a cartoon...
在我的嘴上畫膠帶 and slapped tape across my mouth.
你就當是贊美你 Take it as a compliment.
你的一言一行太有影響力了 You have a strong female voice
他們自愧不如 and this guy is intimidated.
我突然意識到 You know, I'm just realizing,
老板不待見的不是我說話的聲調 it wasn't my tone of voice that my boss didn't like.
而是因為我的能力 It was the fact that I had a voice.
美國男人表面上能與強勢的女人和平共處 Men in the U.S. pretend they're comfortable with strong women...
可實際上 大多數男人 but really, a lot of them would
還是希望咱們蒙著面紗吃薯條 prefer us eating french fries behind our veils.
一語中的 Word.
我應該只寫自己熟悉的單身生活 I should've just stuck to writing about what I know: being single.
可你已經結婚了 But you're not.
我是結婚了 No, I'm married,
可大人物卻提出每周分開兩天的要求 and Big wants two days off.
-我覺得你們倆都想...-夏洛特 - I thought you both wanted... - Charlotte.
肯定會有人給出好的評價的 Well, there'll be other reviews. fabulous reviews.
咱們現在去逛街吧 No. but right now, I need you to go shopping.
幫我挑挑約會穿的衣服 We have to find me something for my date.
要性感的 不能激凸 不能暴露胳膊 Something sexy that doesn't show my tits,
及腹部贅肉 arms or belly.
-我想出去走走 -不如去泡溫泉 - I think I'm gonna take a walk. - What about our spa day?
我沒什么心情 I'm not in the mood. not in the mood.
你們去吧 玩得開心點 but you guys go, have fun.
晚上見 Okay, I'll see you later.
-你真的不去嗎 -恩 - You sure? - Yeah.
-別忘了今晚八點一起吃飯 -知道了 - We have dinner reservations at 8. - Yeah.
女士 Miss?
我出去一下 I'm going out.
這雜志怎么跑她手里去了 I don't know how she got ahold of it.
不要薯泥了 No more yams.
有什么需要我效勞的嗎 女士 Is there anything you'd like to do, miss?
沒 謝謝你 No, thank you.
我想一個人走走 I think I'm gonna walk ahead, by myself.
我獨自走在阿布扎比的海邊 I walked along the Abu Dhabi beach.
從未感覺如此遠離家鄉 I had never felt so far away from home.
迷失自我 Or from myself.
我們泡溫泉時還想你呢 今天過得如何 We missed you at the spa. how was your day?
-挺好的 -打扮得很漂亮嘛 - It was good. - Wow, you look great.
我約了艾登吃晚餐 I'm meeting Aidan for dinner.
那咱們改到五點吃飯吧 Oh, okay. We'll change our reservation to 5, then.
四點吧 薩曼莎晚上有約會 No, we're okay with four. Samantha's got that late date.
不用 我們約在他住的酒店里 Not necessary, because we're having dinner at his hotel.
他住的酒店 At his hotel.
那是個很大的中東酒店 Yeah. there's a great Middle Eastern place there.
口碑很好 It has the best, I don't know, something.
你為什么和他吃晚飯啊 Why are you having dinner with him?
難道我不能喝他吃晚飯嗎 How can I not have dinner with him?
我們在地球的另一邊邂逅 We bump into each other halfway around the world?
-是天意 -那又怎樣 - I mean, it means something. - It doesn't mean anything.
你沒開玩笑吧 Are you serious?
你一直在說 You have been saying that
過去二十年發生的一切都有意義 everything means something for the last 20 years.
可是在中東的香料市場 But seeing Aidan at a
遇見艾登就不值得一提嗎 spice souk in the Middle East means nothing.
你在玩火 I think you're playing with fire.
哈哈 我在玩火么 Oh, my God. now I'm playing with fire?
是你神經過敏 All right, you've gone crazy.
來到阿布扎比之后 你就神經兮兮的 Seriously, you're crazy in Abu Dhabi.
因為你擔心你的婚姻 Just because you're worried about your marriage,
丈夫會出軌 everyone's gonna cheat.
祝你們晚餐吃得愉快 Have a good time at dinner.
沒事吧 You okay?
我很累 先去休息了 Yeah. I'm just really, really tired. I'm gonna take a nap.
睡個好覺 Take a nice, long nap.
醒了之后我請你喝一杯 And then I'll buy you a drink.
九點 如何 How's 9 sound?
-好 -好 - Okay. - Okay.
晚上好 Hi.
霍布斯女士 Miss Hobbes.
既然這里有酒吧 干嗎還往外跑 I thought, "Why go to a bar when we have a bar?"
謝謝 Thank you.
謝謝 你可以下班了 Thank you, Resir. You can go.
休息好了嗎 How was your nap?
睡的很香 I slept hard.
你需要睡眠 當媽媽太辛苦了 You needed it. Being a mother kicks your ass.
再累也值得 Yes, but the benefits make it worth it.
我們現在離家很遠 We're 6700 miles away from everyone.
有什么話你可以跟我說 You can say it to me.
我也是個母親 I'm a mother too.
說什么 Say what?
那些你想說 All the things you're thinking,
但又說不出口的話 but you won't allow yourself to say out loud.
好吧 我先說 Okay. I'll go first.
我很愛布萊迪 As much as I love Brady...
愛到無法用語言表達 ...and I do love him more than words...
我不僅想當一個稱職的母親 ...being a mother is not enough.
我還記掛著我的工作 I miss my job.
你別這么看著我 You're not gonna leave me
讓我感覺自己是個很差勁的母親 hanging out feeling like the worst mother, are you?
好 Okay.
嗯 Well...
-我愛我的孩子們 -我知道 - I love my girls. - I know that.
可是 But
沒有她們在我身邊 我過得很舒服 I have enjoyed not having them around.
-我需要休息 -沒錯 - I needed a break. - Yes, you did.
蘿絲整天哭 沒日沒夜 Rose cries all day, every day.
我快崩潰了 It's driving me crazy.
真不知道這幾個月 I have been watching you for months.
你是怎么過來的 I don't know how you're doing it.
有時我就跑到別的房間 關上門 Sometimes I go in the other room and I close the door...
任由她哭鬧 我是不是很可惡 and I just let her scream. isn't that awful?
這是在鍛煉她 喝一杯 No, that's survival. take a sip.
你知道嗎 And can I tell you something else?
我很內疚 I feel guilty.
超級內疚 I feel so guilty,
我最大的心愿就是有個美滿的家庭 because all I ever prayed for was to have a family.
如今我有兩個漂亮的女兒 And now I have these two beautiful girls.
嗯 And?
-她們快把我逼瘋了 -接著喝 - They're driving me crazy. - Take a sip.
我覺得自己很失敗 And I feel like I'm failing.
從頭到尾都很失敗 I just feel like I'm failing all the time.
你不是 You're not failing.
當媽媽很辛苦的 Being a mother is hard.
天哪 真的很辛苦 Oh, my God. It is so hard.
而且我還是雇了全職保姆的 And I have full-time help.
那些自己帶小孩的媽媽是怎么做到的 How do the women without help do it?
想象不到 I have no fucking idea.
-向她們致敬 -干杯 - To them. - To them.
當我 And when I...
不說了 不說了 太難受了 Oh, no, I can't. I can't. it's awful.
繼續喝 Sip.
接著說 Go.
當我聽薩曼莎說 When I heard Samantha say...
哈里會和艾琳亂搞時 that Harry was gonna cheat on me with Erin...
我首先想到的是 my first thought was:
我不能沒有保姆 "I can't lose the nanny."
咱們得吃點東西了 We really should eat something.
真為你開心 替你們倆開心 I'm happy for you. for both of you.
謝謝 Thank you.
你的祝福對我很重要 That means a lot.
坦白地說 I have a confession to make.
我知道你結婚了 I already knew you were married.
你耍我呢啊 You let me go through all that?
我老婆在網上看到消息告訴了我 Yeah, my wife showed me something on the internet.
她一直在有意無意地 You know, she always kind of kept one eye on you,
關注著你 the one that got away.
凱茜還好嗎 How is Kathy?
她很好 很了不起 She's great. she's really amazing.
她的紡織品生意越做越大 Her fabric business is through the roof,
還照顧著3個兒子 even with the three boys.
-3個兒子嗎 -是啊 - Oh, my God. Three? - Yeah.
荷馬 懷亞特和塔特 Homer, Wyatt and Tate.
像是個鄉村音樂樂隊 Sounds like a country-music band.
希望吧 Here's hoping.
塔特 Tate.
艾登 他們真可愛 Wow. Aidan, they're amazing.
他們都很乖 Yeah, they're good boys.
我們很幸運 We're really lucky.
你怎么樣 What about you?
沒有生小孩的打算嗎 Not in the cards?
我不知道 I don't know.
我們聊過很多次 We've talked about it a lot
我們倆都很愛孩子 可是 and both love kids, but...
那不是我們想要的生活 that's not who we are.
不奇怪 你跟別人都不同 Yeah, doesn't surprise me. You're anything but traditional.
向你求婚時我就知道了 I learned that when I tried to get you to wear a ring.
是啊 瞧 還是老樣子 Exactly. and see? still.
不帶鉆石戒指 No diamond.
-結婚了 -天哪 - And I'm married. - Man...
我太蠢了 求婚居然用鉆石戒指 That was my big mistake. trying to get a rock on you.
你是個很特別的女人 You're not like other women.
與眾不同 Man, are you not.
你真美 Fuck, you look good.
很性感 恕我冒犯 You look hot. I'm sorry, but you do.
麻哈麻拉[菜]味道如何 Did you enjoy the muhammara?
是我吃過的最好的 That is the best muhammara I've ever had.
這里有7座拱門 There's seven arches.
分別代表不同的阿拉伯酋長國 One to represent each of the different Arab Emirates.
每來一次我就記住一個國家 I memorize a different state every time I come.
我已經記住4個了 I'm up to four now.
阿布扎比 阿吉曼 I got Abu Dhabi, Ajman...
迪拜 還有 等等 ...Dubai and, um, hold on...
對不起 I'm sorry.
對不起 No, I'm sorry.
-糟糕 -我該回去了 - Oh, fuck. - Yeah, I should go.
我走了 再見 I'm going. bye.
是從這邊走嗎 Is this the way?
-晚餐用得如何 -很好 - How was your dinner, miss? - Yeah.
-我和艾登接吻了 -我料到了 - I kissed Aidan. - I knew it.
你說的沒錯 I know you knew it.
我確實是在玩火 I played with fire.
我對自己很失望 薩曼莎在嗎 I'm so mad at myself. is Samantha still here?
我需要你們 I need everybody.
她正準備去約會呢 She's getting ready for her date.
薩曼莎 Samantha!
我在這呢 In here.
我和艾登接吻了 我很害怕 I kissed Aidan. I'm freaking out.
咱們聊聊吧 I need to talk.
我這就來 I'm coming right out.
保拉 給我毛巾 Paula, I need a towel.
前一分鐘他還在說著阿拉伯酋長國名 One minute, he was naming the Arab Emirates...
突然 我們就接吻了 and then, all of a sudden, we kissed.
他主動還是你主動 Did he kiss you? or did you kiss him?
同時 都有責任 No, both. both equally guilty.
我要給大人物打電話 告訴他 Yeah, I wanna call Big and tell him.
先冷靜冷靜 Let's just calm down for a second.
我不想隱瞞 No, really. I don't want the secret.
隱瞞的后果會更嚴重 The secret to me makes it much worse.
我越早告訴他 So the sooner I tell him,
對他的傷害就越小 the quicker, the less damage it will do.
這兒比紐約早8小時 I mean, we're eight hours ahead of New York.
這是那里未來的事 This is the future.
在紐約什么都還沒發生呢 It hasn't really even happened there yet.
我已經語無倫次了 Well, now I'm crazy in Abu Dhabi.
你們什么意見 我應該告訴他嗎 So, what do you think? should I call him?
我不知道 I don't know.
我真的不知道 I don't know.
我喝多了 I'm a little drunk.
當史蒂夫告訴我他和別人上床 When Steve told me he cheated on me,
我絕望了 I was devastated.
可我知道只有那一次時 But now that I know it was only that one time...
-嗯 -傷心痛苦值不值得呢 - Yeah? - Was the pain worth it?
-不知道 -不知道 - I don't know. - Yeah. I don't know.
直接點說就是 Let's get something straight here.
史蒂夫和別人上床了 Steve had sex.
恕我直言 他確實做了 I'm sorry, but he did.
你們倆只是接吻而已 沒什么大不了的 And this was just a kiss. a kiss is nothing.
-和艾登接吻 -吻吻而已 - A kiss with Aidan. - It was a kiss.
-我們曾經相愛過 -只是一個吻 - We have a history. - It was just a kiss.
什么也別說了 Say nothing.
我要告訴他 I am gonna tell him.
拜托 Do me a favor...
明天再說 ...and sleep on it.
第一次抽水煙筒 Your first sheesha experience.
很過癮的 This is very exciting.
把這個管子放到嘴里 You put this pipe in your mouth...
吮吸嗎 And suck?
你真聰明 You are a natural.
那邊有人在看你 I think you have another audience.
阿布扎比在很多方面都很超前 Abu Dhabi is so cutting-edge in so many ways...
可是在性方面卻那么保守 and so backward when it comes to sex.
矛盾啊 And the paradox is...
我現在欲火焚身 I find myself to be most aroused on my trips here.
沒那么夸張吧 Do tell.
如果我們是在巴黎或者馬德里 If we were in, say, Paris, or Madrid, right now...
我會把手伸進 I would be having my hand down your blouse,
你的衣服里撫摸你 brushing your nipples.
可是在這里不行 But here, such things are forbidden.
受人管制 變回了困獸小伙子 And it's like being a boy again.
你夠大嗎 And are you a big boy?
去沙灘走走 Walk on the beach?
好的 Oh, yes.
我很想去沙灘走走 I need a walk on the beach.
你的裙子沒系好 Your top seems to have come undone.
深夜兩點半給我打電話 Well, it's 2:30 a.m. There.
你不會還在倒時差吧 You still can't be jet-lagged.
嘿 Hi.
有些事想告訴你 Something happened.
-你沒事吧 -沒事 沒事 - Are you okay? - Yes. Yes.
沒出什么意外 Nothing accident-wise or anything.
但確實有個意外事件 But it was an accident.
怎么了 你沒受傷吧 What happened? Are you physically okay?
沒事 Yes, I'm...
我沒事 I'm fine.
我去了香料市場 I, uh, went to the spice market...
在那遇見了艾登 ...and I ran into Aidan.
-喂 -說 - Hello? - Yes?
我們決定一起吃晚餐 And we decided to have dinner...
在那兒能遇見實在是太巧了 because it was so strange to see each other there.
吃晚飯的時候我們一直在聊 And at dinner we were talking
各自的婚姻生活有多幸福 about how happy we were in our marriages and...
當我們道別的時候 And when we went to say goodbye...
不知怎的 somehow...
我們接吻了 we kissed.
沒有其它想法 It didn't mean anything...
吻了不到1秒鐘 and it lasted only a second.
我感覺糟透了 And I'm sick about it.
姐妹們都不知道我該不該告訴你 And the girls didn't know if I should even tell you...
接吻而已 沒有別的想法 because it was just a kiss and it means nothing.
可我跟她們說 But I told them...
我不能對你隱瞞任何事 that I couldn't have a secret from you.
咱們之間是沒有秘密的 That we don't have secrets.
隱瞞只會把事情搞砸 And the secret would just make it worse. so...
所以我告訴你了 So I'm telling you.
我很難過 And I feel awful.
對不起 And I'm sorry.
你說話啊 Please say something.
凱莉 我在上班 I'm at work, Carrie.
我得掛了 I have to go.
再見 Goodbye.
我正想打給你 Hi. I was gonna call you back.
-我...-凱莉 太過分了 - I just... - Carrie, this is outrageous.
-我被捕了 -什么 什么 - I've been arrested. - Wait, wait, wait.
薩曼莎 等等 怎么了 Samantha, wait. What's wrong?
你快過來 You gotta get down here.
快起來 Get up.
薩曼莎因為在沙灘上做愛被抓起來了 Samantha was arrested for having sex on the beach.
她現在在酒店保安部 她需要律師 She's at hotel security and she needs a lawyer.
我這就過去 I'm on it.
那邊 No, no, no. That way.
我們沒有做愛 只是接吻而已 We did not have sex. we were just kissing.
那對保守夫妻告訴警衛來抓我們 And this uptight couple told the security guard to arrest us.
親吻是違法的 See, kissing is something. It's illegal.
薩菲爾先生 謝謝你能過來 Oh, Mr. Safir, thank you so much for coming.
很抱歉弄得這么尷尬 I'm so sorry about this unfortunate situation.
女士們 麻煩你們出去等吧 Ladies, if you don't mind waiting outside.
我是她的律師 我留在這 I'm her attorney. I'm gonna stay.
-好的 -我們在外面等你 - Sure. - We'll be right outside.
-沒事的 -這件事到底有多嚴重 - It's all right. - So, what is the severity of the situation?
舉報你的那位先生非常的保守 The gentleman who reported the incident is very conservative...
他堅持要求將你的違法行為記錄在案 and has insisted the offending event be recorded.
違法 我們只不過接吻而已 Offending event? It was kissing.
我了解你的感受 但是請你交出護照 I understand your feelings. But we will need your passport.
護照 你沒開玩笑吧 My passport? You gotta be kidding me.
做個記錄而已 It's just to make a record.
給舉報人一個交代 To satisfy the complaining gentleman.
真是太過分了 This is outrageous.
我知道 我知道 I know. I know.
我們只不過是親吻而已 It was just a kiss.
謝謝 Thank you.
估計我很念舊 I guess I really missed who I used to be...
而艾登又是我曾經那么在意的人 and Aidan was such a big part of that and...
我只是想 Yes, I wanted the flirting,
敘敘舊重溫過去 and, yes, I wanted the attention.
可我不想接吻 But I didn't want the kiss.
和艾登接吻那一刻讓我想起過去的自己 The minute I kissed Aidan I remembered who I used to be.
是個穿梭在紐約城里的瘋子 Someone just running around New York like a crazy person...
努力讓我愛過的人回心轉意 trying to get the one man I loved to love me back.
現在他真的愛我 And now he does love me...
并想和我一起坐在紐約家里的沙發上 and he wants to sit on a couch in New York City with me.
希望 過去那些不要毀了我的未來 And I really hope my past hasn't screwed up my future.
窩在沙發不也挺好嗎 And what's so bad about a couch anyway?
天哪 我居然遇到中年危機了 Oh, my God. I'm having a mid-wife crisis.
我不該告訴他的 I should never have said anything to him.
《紐約客》把我的嘴堵上 The New Yorker was right
是對的 to slap a big piece of tape across my mouth.
之前對你婚姻的評論 And I'm sorry for that thing
我很抱歉 I said about your marriage earlier.
我也很抱歉 I'm sorry too.
怎么了 For what?
評論你們每周休息兩天 For having an attitude about that two-day idea.
我也休息了兩天 睡了好覺 I've had two days away, I've gotten a little sleep...
終于又恢復活力了 and I am finally starting to feel like myself again.
我想你的做法是對的 I think there's really something to it.
或許吧 Maybe.
我只希望大人物不要放棄我們的婚姻 Well, let's just hope Big doesn't want seven days off.
天亮了 薩曼莎終于被釋放 And as morning arrived, so did Samantha's release.
抱歉 我來晚了 I am sorry it took me so long to arrive.
穆罕默德先生 來了就好 Well, you're here now, Mr. Mahmud.
只有在辦公室才能了解最新消息 I never got word until I arrived at my office.
很抱歉 讓你大老遠跑來 I'm sorry that you had to come all the way out here.
-現在都解決了 -多虧你了 - Well, it is all settled now. - Thanks to you.
女士們 很榮幸再見面 Good to see you again, ladies.
太感謝了 Thank you so much.
我餓死了 I'm starving.
有人嗎 早餐吃什么 Hello? What's for breakfast?
阿卜杜勒 有人嗎 Abdul? Anybody?
真奇怪 都跑去哪兒了 Well, that's odd. Where are they?
-喂 -請轉瓊斯小姐 - Hello? - Miss Jones, please.
薩曼莎 前臺打來的 Samantha. It's the front desk.
-我是薩曼莎·瓊斯 -瓊斯小姐 - This is Samantha Jones. - Miss Jones.
我是前臺的培杜姆 This is Beydoun at the front desk.
請用信用卡支付房費 I will need a credit card number for the room charges.
培杜姆 你一定搞錯了 Beydoun, there must be some mistake.
我是謝赫·哈里德的客人 I am a guest of Sheikh Khalid.
不用我付錢的 There is no room charge.
是的 但從今天開始您得付了 Yes, I have a record of that. But not from today on.
你在胡說些什么 What are you talking about?
我們約了周二開會的 I have a meeting with the sheikh on Tuesday.
對了 這有穆罕默德先生給您的留言 Ah, yes. I have a note here from Mr. Mahmud.
會議也取消了 That meeting is no longer as well.
那個該死的混蛋居然取消了會議 That sneaky bastard has canceled the meeting...
還讓我們從今天開始自付房費 and he wants us to pay for the room from now on.
您的朱厄爾套房星期三到期 We have you booked into the Jewel Suite until Wednesday.
費用是每晚兩萬二美元 The charge is 22,000 per night.
每晚兩萬二 The room is $22,000 a night.
-什么 -我們才不要付 - What? - We can't pay that.
讓他們告我吧 Let them sue me.
在阿聯酋不付酒店費 The punishment for not paying your hotel bill
也要進監獄的 in the UAE is jail.
什么時候退房 What time is checkout?
還有一個小時 In precisely one hour.
一個小時收拾行李 離開阿布扎比 We have an hour to pack and get the fuck out of Abu Dhabi.
什么 What?
你說什么 What do you mean...?
什么狗屁新中東 New Middle East, my ass.
該死的保拉·阿卜杜勒 Fucking Paula Abdul.
需要她時他在哪兒 Where is she when you need him?
薩曼莎 Samantha!
一個小時不夠 I can't be ready in an hour!
那你最好付得起一晚兩萬二 Then you better have $22,000 a night!
天哪 Oh, my God.
得了 All right. Okay.
洗浴用品收好了 I've got the bath products.
你請了搬運行李的人嗎 Yes. Did you call about luggage?
他們到了 They're here for the luggage.
好 我來了 Okay. I'm coming.
高魯 用這筆錢飛回家去與妻子團聚 凱莉
你好 我想確認下4張頭等艙的機票 Hi. I'm calling to reconfirm four first-class tickets.
-天哪 -你還好嗎 - Oh, Christ. - Are you okay?
我們本打算周二走的 但是現在... We were supposed to be leaving on Tuesday, but...
先生 Sir.
-你還敢穿短褲 -無所謂了 - Shorts? - I no longer care.
我馬上要飛回美國了 I am going from here to a plane to America,
那里露腿可不是罪惡 where legs are not the devil.
起碼把拉鏈拉上 At least zip up the jacket.
我潮熱的厲害 我快死了 I am having a hot flash in 119 degrees. I may die.
-是的 小姐 -你好 - Yes, miss. - Hello.
我們叫了兩輛去機場的出租車 We called down for two cabs going to the airport.
-馬上來 -謝謝 - Right away. - Thank you.
崩潰 Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
天哪 Oh, my God!
怎么了 What?
我忘給哈里和女兒買禮物了 I forgot to buy Harry and the girls a gift.
-我得去禮品店 -去機場買吧 - I've gotta run to the gift shop. - Get them at the airport.
那太俗了 我們還有時間呢 How tacky. No, we have time.
飛機6點才起飛 The plane doesn't leave till 6.
別冒險了 重訂到機已難如登天了 Not chancing it. It's a miracle I got these seats rebooked.
如果出一點差錯 If anything goes wrong,
我們得坐13個半小時的客車回去 we're flying back 13 and a half hours in coach.
在機場隨便買點吧 Buy them some crap at the airport.
我的護照不見了 It's not here. My passport.
在別的包嗎 Well, is it in another purse?
不 我放在這里了 No, no. I had it right here.
跟我的錢和香料放在一起 I had it right here next to my money and the spices.
香料也不見了 Well, they're not here either.
我忘在鞋店了 I left it where I bought the shoes.
我把護照放在柜臺上 I put it on the counter and
我一看到艾登就分心了 then when I saw Aidan I got distracted and I...
沒關系 沒事的 It's all right. It's okay.
我得回集市一趟 I have to go back to the souk.
-要是不在那呢 -不會的 一定在那 - What if it's not there? - It will be there. It has to be.
-米蘭達 一起去嗎 -當然 - Miranda, go with me? - Sure.
-我們一起去 -沒必要的 - We'll all go. - You don't have to do that.
我們可不會把你扔在這 Yeah, like we'd dump you in Abu Dhabi.
先生 我們把行李存在這 Sir, we need to leave the bags here.
馬上來取 We'll come back for them.
不 不 不 No, no, no.
不 不 不 No, no. No.
我的指甲 My nails!
先生 不 不 不用了 不用了 No, sir. No! Not at all. No. Not at all.
他們在往另一個車里裝 They're loading the other car!
別再扇衣服了 Will you stop with the jacket?
會惹怒宗教徒的 You're flashing religious men.
我不管 我從里到外猶如火烤 I don't care, I'm baking from the inside out.
還有多遠 How much farther?
是他 對 就是是他 There he is. Yeah, there he is.
您好 我前幾天來過這里 Hello, sir. I was here the other day.
我把一本藍色的護照忘在這了 And I left a blue passport.
是的 Yes!
沒錯 謝天謝地 感謝阿拉 Yes, that's me. Oh, thank God. Thank Allah.
-請收下 以表謝意 -不 不要 - Just please accept this as a thank-you, sir. - No, no, no.
那好吧 那我給每個人都買雙鞋 Oh, sir. Well, then, in that case, shoes for everyone.
姐妹們 算我送的 快 快 快 Okay, ladies, on me. Quick, quick, quick.
先生 謝謝 Oh, thank you, sir.
我想... So I think this...
從這出去就是主街道... should lead us right out to Al Ben Abi Talib Street...
我們打車回酒店 再去機場 and we can get a cab back to the hotel and go.
-時間夠嗎 -能來及 - And how are we for time? - Good.
小姐 要勞力士表嗎 特價 Hello, miss. Rolex? Special price.
給男人的尊貴禮物 Make beautiful gift for man.
有銀色的嗎 Do you have it in silver?
當然 在樓上 來吧 Yes. Upstairs. Come.
-這邊還是那邊 -那邊 - This one or this one. - Not this one.
-真該死 -等等 - Oh, craps. - Wait!
-我想是... -夏洛特要買塊手表 - I think it's... - Charlotte's buying a watch.
小姐 Miss.
-歡迎光臨 -打擾了 - Welcome. - Excuse us.
女士們 這邊走 在樓上 Ladies, come this way. Upstairs.
等等 等等 你好嗎 Wait, wait, wait. Hello?
我們隨行的 We're with them.
他們 他們一起的 Them. Them.
好的 Okay.
我們有許多名牌包 We have many designer bags.
從這兒過來 Right through there.
質地很好 精美別致 Very good, very nice.
-你真的喜歡這家店嗎 -當然 - You really enjoy this store. - Yes.
-請坐 -太棒了 - Please, have seat. Please. - Very good.
-是的 -歡迎 - Yes. - Welcome.
-謝謝 -這是... - Thank you. - This is...
凱莉 這是你送給大人物的那塊表 Carrie. This is the watch you gave Big,
對了 可以給哈里作禮物 right? This could be Harry's gift.
不 我的是古董表 No. Mine was vintage.
我們該走了 真該走了 We should go. We should go.
我們也有女式手表的 We have ladies' watches too, huh?
我們必須馬上走 We really, really need to go right now.
一點都不透氣 Is there any air in here?
-還有很多其他樣式的 -不 不要 - I have many other kinds. - No, I'm so sorry.
我們要錯過飛機 什么都不需要 We're going to miss our plane, so nothing.
謝謝 謝謝 Thank you. Thank you.
-真漂亮 -你需要手表嗎 - Beautiful. - You want watch, yes?
-不 不 不 她不需要 -不 - No, no, no. She didn't want anything. - No.
-抱歉 -還是謝謝 - Sorry. - Thank you, though.
走 快走 Go. Then go.
我們必須走了 We have to go.
-不 出去前必須把它穿上 -快走 - No, you have to put this on before we go outside. - You go.
-打擾了 -不要包嗎 不要包嗎 - Sorry. - No purse? No purse?
先生 謝謝 Thank you, sir.
不要包嗎 包 不要包嗎 No purse? Purse? No purse?
-這是違法的 -什么 - It's forbidden. - What?
這... It...
-怎么了 -禱告的聲音 - What's that? - It's the call to prayer.
女士 Hey, lady!
你 是你 我看見你偷了這個 Hey, you! Hey, you. I see you steal this.
-這是我的 -我看見你偷的 - This is mine! - I seen you take it!
我沒偷 這是我的 I didn't steal it! It's mine!
你弄壞了我的柏金包 You broke my Birkin!
抱歉 誤會 Sorry. Mistake.
避孕套 避孕套 是的 是避孕套 Condoms! Condoms, yes! Condoms!
-我是有性生活的 -好了 好了 - I have sex! - Okay, okay.
-薩曼莎 -是啊 沒錯 - Samantha. - Yes! Yes!
我帶著避孕套 I have condoms!
他們在那 Here they are!
來呀 Bite me!
-來呀 狠我啊 -不 不 不 - Bite me! Oh, bite me! - No, no, no.
走 走 快點走 Go, go. Keep going.
把外套穿上 Put your jacket on.
還擔心人老珠黃嗎 You're worried about getting old?
你就跟年輕時一摸一樣 You're exactly the same as when I met you.
-是的 真棒 -他們一直跟著我們 - Yes, I am. Good for me. - Oh, they're following us.
是 因為那是大忌 Yes, because that was major disrespect.
是違法的 And it's against the law.
-那我們該怎么辦呢 -繼續走 - So, what do we do? - Just keep walking and pray...
祈禱沒人報警 no one calls a cop.
他們好像希望我們跟著 I think they want us to follow them.
-跟著他們吧 -好的 走 - I think we should. - Okay, go.
好的 Okay.
好了 好了 來了 All right. All right. Here we go.
你們好 Hello.
不用怕 歡迎你們 You are welcome, you are welcome.
剛才的表現真精彩 That was quite a show outside.
糟透了 Terrible.
如此不敬 So disrespectful.
是的 Yes.
我很欣賞 I quite enjoyed it.
那些男人要惱怒幾個星期了 And the men will be outraged for weeks.
幾個月 甚至 好幾年 惱下去吧 For months. Some, perhaps years, ever!
麻煩給我一杯水可以嗎 我快冒火了 Could I bother you for a glass of water? I'm burning up.
-可以 -潮熱 - Yes. - Hot flashes.
對 她明白 Yeah. She knows.
你們看過這個嗎 Have you read this?
今天我們書友會探討這個 We are discussing it in our book club today.
-蘇珊娜·薩默斯 -蘇珊娜·薩默斯 - Suzanne Somers. - Suzanne Somers.
家喻戶曉的女士 Lady gets around.
他們把我的面霜都沒收了 They took my creams.
我想你們是美國人吧 I take it you are visiting from the United States?
-來自紐約 -紐約嗎 - New York City. - New York?
第五大道 卡內基音樂廳 Carnegie Hall, Fifth Avenue.
你去過紐約嗎 You've been to New York?
不 No.
但我們熱愛時尚 But we love the fashion.
-路易威登 -是的 - Louis Vuitton. - Yes.
對 Yes.
穿過另一個半球的干花店 And there, in a dried-flower shop, halfway across the world...
在數百年的傳統掩蓋之下 underneath hundreds of years of tradition...
是今春的時尚新品 was this year's spring collection.
-美艷動人 -無與倫比 - So beautiful. - So pretty.
她在說什么 她在說什么 What'd she say? What'd she say?
類似阿拉伯女人的事 Something, something, Arab women.
要喝點什么嗎 Would you like anything to drink?
咖啡 茶 其他的 Coffee, tea? Anything, really.
抱歉 我們再不走就要錯過航班了 Sorry. If we don't leave now, we'll miss our flight.
但那些惱怒的男人怎么辦呢 But what about those angry men out there?
怎樣才能渾然不覺地離開呢 How are we gonna get past them?
小意思 All clear.
這邊 This way.
這邊走 It's this way.
夏洛特哪兒去了 Hey, where's Charlotte?
她在你后面 She was behind you.
我知道 可是不見了 No, I know.
我真他媽想殺了她 I'm gonna fucking kill her.
如果我們錯過航班 就要乘客車回去了 If we miss that flight, we're flying home coach.
鞋 鞋 看鞋子 Shoes, the shoes. Look for her shoes.
她穿著紫色的高跟鞋 She was wearing purple peep-toe platforms.
-找到了 -是她 - Got it. - Right.
她在那 There she is.
夏洛特 Charlotte!
瞧 給女兒們 Look! For the girls!
出租車 Taxi!
-出租車 -這兒的女人都不打車嗎 - Taxi! - Don't women here take cabs?
出租車 Taxi!
他們怎么能不停車 我們要來不及了 Why won't they stop? We're out of time.
我們要錯過頭等艙了 We're gonna get bumped from first class.
我已處在更年期 不要乘客車 I can't be in menopause and in coach.
有了 拿著 I have an idea. Hold this.
-她要干什么 -不知道 - What's she doing? - I don't know.
-快 -進去 - Oh, hurry. - Get in.
-我坐在前面 -非常感謝 - I'll get in the front. - Thank you so much.
先生 謝謝 是的 Thank you, sir. Oh, yes.
阿聯酋機場 We're going to the Taj Al Saharaa.
謝謝 Thank you.
有要投訴的嗎 Do you have anything to declare?
是的 我已經一團糟了 Yes. I'm a mess.
謝謝 Thank you.
有要投訴的嗎 Do you have anything to declare?
果然 大人物沒有如約到機場接我 Turns out, Big never met me at the airport like he promised.
威廉 謝謝 Thank you, William.
普雷斯頓太太 沒問題 No problem, Mrs. Preston.
約翰 John?
大人物不在 也沒有電視 No Big and no TV.
-媽媽回來啦 -媽媽回來啦 - Here comes Mommy. - Here comes Mommy.
-她來啦 -媽媽 你好 - Hey, there she is. - Mommy, hi.
打個招呼 打招呼吧 Let's say hello, let's say hello.
我好想你 Oh, I missed you so much.
你好 蘿絲寶貝 Hi! Baby Rose.
親愛的 你好 Hello, my love.
-想死你了 -媽媽 - I missed you so much. - Mommy.
不方便接聽 請留言 I can't pick up, so please leave me a message.
是我 我回家了 Hi, it's me. I'm home.
你在哪兒 Where are you?
你好 Hi.
你一整天去哪兒了 Where you been all day?
四處游蕩 Walking around.
消磨時間 Killing time.
折磨你 Torturing you.
奏效了 Well, it worked.
-我以為你再也不會回來了 -不 - I thought you weren't gonna come back. - Oh, no.
我是個成年人 I'm a grownup.
我發過誓的 And I made a vow.
還記得嗎 Remember?
唯你永恒 唯我永恒 Ever thine, ever mine.
永恒你我 Ever ours.
你知道的 Just so you know...
這真讓我心如刀割 that really tore me up.
抱歉 I'm sorry.
在我看來 面對婚姻 You know, it seems to me that you're a bit of a rookie...
你似乎仍然手足無措 when it comes to this whole marriage idea.
有了前車之鑒 And maybe in light of what happened...
我想在你 until you get a better
領悟婚姻的真諦前 understanding of what this is all about...
你需要一個提示器 you need a little reminder.
這是對你的懲罰 This is your punishment.
每天都要帶著它 You have to wear this every day so that you remember...
記得你是已婚女士 you're married.
心甘情愿 Gladly.
在我四處游蕩時突然想到 It dawned on me when I was walking around...
你寫過那么多關于誓言的書 that while you wrote a funny book about vows...
卻從沒有給我寫過 you never actually wrote any vows from you to me.
我寫過 Oh, I did.
但那個婚禮沒有如期而至 But then that wedding never happened.
我想我們都在犯傻 I guess we all make stupid mistakes.
你曾說的 You were saying.
誓言 Vows.
我原創了一段誓言 I took the liberty of making up some vows for you.
請跟我念 Repeat after me, please.
除了我的丈夫 我絕不親吻任何男人 I will never kiss another man other than my husband.
我不再擔心 I will stop worrying about
我們變成形同陌路的夫妻 being a boring old married couple...
因為這永遠不會發生 because we never will be.
我不再擔心 I will stop worrying about
我們變成形同陌路的夫妻 being a boring old married couple...
因為永遠不會發生 because we never will be.
你確定嗎 Are you sure?
只有我們兩個 It's gonna be just us two.
這就夠了嗎 Are we enough?
孩子嘛 Kid...
還是就你和我吧 we're too much.
你覺得這樣的生活如何呢 How's that for a little sparkle?
十分精彩 That's a lot of sparkle.
為什么是黑鉆石 Why'd you get a black diamond?
因為你是獨一無二的 Because you're not like anyone else.
這樣我就放心了 That's a relief.
我以為你要說這是你靈魂的影射 I thought you were gonna say it's the color of my soul.
時光流淌 And, like it always will, time moved us on.
不久之后... And in the future...
我很驕傲的宣布全球家庭組織 I am proud to report that the settlement we attained for
達成的協議遠超出預期 Global Families Incorporated surpassed their expectations.
米蘭達在合適的律師事務所 Miranda learned that at the right law firm,
重新定位自我 where her voice was valued...
且樂在其中 she was also fun at work.
7月4日 自由的國土上 And that July 4th, on an East Hampton sand dune...
在荷爾蒙之都東漢普頓的沙灘 Samantha learned that good things do come to those who wait
薩曼莎和里卡德完成約會 when she and Rikard
她明白良辰金宵終將 resumed their date in the land of the free...
降于真心等待之人 and the home of the hormones.
夏洛特知道 And Charlotte learned that
自己永無后顧之憂 she never really had anything to worry about.
事實證明 她那性感的保姆 Turns out, her hot nanny
更愛熱辣的保姆伴侶 preferred the company of other hot nannies.
-斯坦福 來點兒飲料 -拜托 - Stanford, here's a refresher. - Yes, please.
-生日快樂 -你在做什么 你干了 - Happy birthday. - What are you doing? You drank it all?
蘿絲3歲了 And as Rose turned 3...
我們糟糕的二人關系終于結束了 and our marriage grew out of the terrible twos...
大人物和我越來越覺得 Big and I found less and
沒必要到原來的舊居放松 less need to escape to the other apartment.
但我們仍保留著它 But we kept the option open.
以備他人之需 Just in case someone needed those two days off.
至于我 我開始覺得 As for me, I began to think of marriage...
婚姻就像阿布扎比主婦的面紗 much like the Real Housewife of Abu Dhabi's veil.
順應傳統 按你的方式為其增光添彩 You have to take the tradition and decorate it your way.
替我做決定吧 Trying to make up my mind for me.
站住 照我說的去做 Well, stop it and do as I tell you.
利奧波德 Leopold.
遠離倔強的女人 有詛咒的 Never take a stubborn woman they're a curse.
我媽警告我遠離固執的女人 My mother warned me against stubborn women.
利奧波德 Leopold.
別跟著我 否則我報警了 Now, stop following me or I'll call the police.
盡管黑白的電影依然精彩紛呈 Because while movies may be wonderful in black and white...
至于戀愛 when it comes to relationships...
依然有色彩斑斕的生活需要去拓展 there's a whole range of colors and options to explore.
這就是我現在的寫照 And that's where I am today.
劇終