字幕制作: 老皮 翻译: 老皮 注解修订: WindStar[W.S.]
本字幕乃个人玩票之作, 请勿做 商业使用, 否则后果自负!
穆尔克罗夫特 怀俄明州 1947年
上周, 闪电侠 Last week, Flash Gordon
保卫了巫师女王阿茹拉 defended the Witch Queen Azura
免於死神侏儒的攻击 from the attack of the Death dwarfs.
保罗自封为蓝色神奇之国的国王 Paul, having proclaimed himself King of Blue Magic Land
并把军队的指挥权教给了 "老鹰侠" offered John the Hawkman the command of the army...
去啊! 保罗 Go on, then, Paul.
别太久了! Don't be long.
保罗？ Paul?
保罗. Paul.
加利福尼亚州 圣地亚哥 现代
动漫展
黑色信箱（地名 位於内华达州375号高速公路 经常被用来观测UFO的一个观测点）雷切尔 内华达州
51区 闲人免进
-他跟我眨眼ㄟ! -哇! -He winked at me! He winked at me! -Whoo!
我喜欢这儿 l love it here.
你知道的, 这感觉好..... You know, it feels so...
-对劲儿 -没错 -Right. -Yeah.
我们离家 5,339英里.. We're 5,339 miles from home
然而, 我觉得这里让我好有归属感 and yet, somehow, l feel like we belong.
我了! l know what you mean.
我想这是我觉得最爽的一次了 l think this is probably the most fun l have ever had.
我真高兴我们来了这里, 克利夫 l'm so glad we came, Clive.
克利夫 Clive?
-我可以试试吗? -请便 -May l? -Be my guest.
-谢了 -你干麻把一个人丢在那儿 -Thank you. -l was over there, on my own.
这就是名刀 "黑吸血鬼" That there is the Black Vampire.
小心点! Watch out.
它可是会咬人的喔 She bites.
你卖多少钱? How much?
1349.99美元 $1 ,349.99.
你不是要买吗? Aren't you gonna get it?
去他奶奶的 (说克林贡语 注: 克林贡是星际迷航中的一个种族)
没错 Fair enough.
真不敢相信我们就要和 亚当夏多查德 见面了 l can't believe we're gonna meet Adam Shadowchild.
可不是吗! 他可真是全世界最屌的人了 l know. He's, like, the coolest man in the world.
谢谢你 Thank you.
来啊! 欢迎啊! 我的朋友. Come forth. Welcome, my friends.
我只想说 "失落的星球" 三部曲对我的 l just wanted to say that the Planet Fall trilogy has been a huge influence
工作和我本人影响很巨大 on me and on my work.
别跟我说你是个作家吧! Don't tell me. You're a writer.
-我就是 -那好吧 -l am, yeah. -Well, good.
事实上, 他赢得1992年的"星云奖"的 He actually won a Nebulon Award in 1992.
16岁以下级科幻短编的大奖 For best science fiction short story by a male under 1 6.
-我想写个续集 -哦.. -l'm working on a follow-up. -Oh.
我真想拜读你的大作呢! Oh, l'd love to see that.
不过不是今天 Not today.
不...大会规定不准.. No, no. lt's a legal thing.
我想一定是不错的 l'm sure it's good.
这封面真不错! 三个乳房是吧! That is a wonderful cover. Three tits.
够屌! Awesome.
-是我的插画家葛莱姆画的 -我是个艺术家 -That was Graeme, my illustrator. -l'm an artist.
我很想早一点完成我的作品 l'm hoping to complete it soon.
不过在收尾上我有一点麻烦.. l'm just having a bit of trouble with the ending.
有一位智者曾说过 Well, a wise man said,
在你编织梦想之前你得先编个好故事 "You have to spin a good yarn before you can weave a great dream."
是谁说的? Who said that?
就是我, 我刚说了 l did. l just said that.
请继续往前走, 各位 Move along, please, guys.
好的 Yes.
-很高兴认识你 -不要握手..不.. -Very nice to meet you. -No, no...
谢谢 Thank you.
-你们有买书吗? -我们没买 -You bought a book? -No.
那滚到一边凉快去 Then fuck off.
咱们照一张你, 我还有亚当的合照 Let's get a picture of you, me and Adam.
-好了吗? 要照了 -可以了 -Okay, ready. -Ready.
外星接触简介
是 Yes.
好 Yes.
-是租露营车的吗? -是啊 -ls that the RV place? -Yes.
你确定有两个单人床的吗? And there's definitely two single beds?
因为我们住的旅馆就搅乌龙了 Because there's been a bit of a mix-up at the hotel.
好的, 太好了. 谢谢 Okay. Excellent. Thank you very much.
也祝你有个美好的一天 And have a nice day to you, as well.
-车在这里了吗? -不, 在 "车停场" -ls it here? -lt's in the car park.
我想你是要说 "停车场" l think you mean "the parking lot."
(模仿美国口音) 没错 (lN FORCED AMERlCAN ACCENT) l sure do.
我用了美国音 l did my American voice.
太神奇是吧? 我们真的来了美国 lt's amazing, isn't it? We're actually here. America.
Huh?
我们梦想来美国多久了? How long have we dreamt about this?
-从我们还是小鬼的时候吧 -没错 -Since we were kids. -Yeah.
现在看看我们都是个大人了 Now look at us. Grown men.
比萨! Pizza!
-Hi! -Hiya!
-你好, 先生 -进来啊! -Good evening, sir. -Come on in.
-让我摆哪儿? -就放在床上吧! -Where can l set this down? -You could put it on the bed.
你们是来渡蜜月的吧? You guys on honeymoon?
不是 No.
有没有搅错! 我们只是朋友而已 No, silly. We're just friends.
旅馆在订房时给搅了个乌龙 GRAEME: We had a mix-up. The reservations were messed up.
就放在桌上好了, 我给你清一清 Pop it on the table here. Let me clear that.
-那么是开车旅行吗? -没错 -Ah, going on a road trip? -Yeah. Yes.
有什么比循著动漫展所规画的 What better way to follow Comic-Con
全美最著名的UFO道路之旅更好的? than a tour ofAmerica's most famous UFO hotspots?
说什么? Huh?
我们会经过内华达州的 51区 和 "黑色信箱" We're going to Area 51 and the Black Mailbox in Nevada,
然后到 "维帝营", 然后再到 "阿帕契点" then down to Camp Verde, then to Apache Junction
再到新墨西哥的"罗斯威尔", 看看著名外星人1947年坠机处 and then on down to Roswell, New Mexico for the site of the famous crash of '47.
-不 -那是众人皆知的 -No. -Everybody knows that.
不要再说了! 那目前只能说是传说中的坠机处 Stop it! lt's an alleged site at this point.
如果坠机处在别的地方 Why would they admit there was a crash,
那他们为什么承认说有东西在那儿坠毁 if the crash happened somewhere else?
所以咱们只能异中求同了, 好吗? Let's just agree to disagree, all right?
我们每次都是这样说的 That's what we always say at the end.
你相信有外星人吗? Do you believe in aliens?
你"外星人"的定义是什么? (aliens 也有外国人的意思) What do you mean, "aliens"?
我来签帐好了 l'll sign that check, shall l?
把那个拿开, 地图上沾了起司是最糟糕的 Get that out of your way. Pizza grease on a map is the worst thing.
我们该睡了. 明天一早就得早起 We should turn in. We got an early start in the morning.
没错 Yeah.
你想今晚你会梦到什么? What do you think you're gonna dream about?
嗯, 开阔的道路. 高度的冒险, 像这样的事吧! Oh, the open road. High adventure. That kind of thing.
Mmm.
-那你会梦到什么? -神力女超人 -You? -Wonder Woman.
-拜托 不要 -好吧! -Please don't. -Okay.
-你可以了吗? -可以了 -You ready? -Yeah.
好... Okay. And...
3, 2, 1. Three, two, one.
这次动漫展真好! What an amazing Con.
好友, 这只不是个开端而已 That, my friend, was just the beginning.
你们的车来了 Here you go.
不, 这辆不是我们的 That's not ours.
不是吗? No?
不, 那辆才是 No. That's ours.
死兽人! Fucking orcs!
华斯克巨岩公园 加利福尼亚州
那一下来了 That one.
Oh.
有人! Oh! People!
51区 内达华州
餐厅 - 酒吧 - 汽车旅馆 "地球人欢迎你" 小小外星人
笑一个 Smile.
"观天(有飞碟！)" 还是 "车上外星人"呢? "Watch the skies" or "Alien on board"?
"车上外星人" 谢谢 "Alien on board," please.
好的, 如果你确定的话. Okay. lf you're sure.
动漫展还不错吧? So, how was Comic-Con?
我们遇到了 亚当.夏多查德 We met Adam Shadowchild.
谁是 亚当.夏多查德? Who the hell is Adam Shadowchild?
喔, 他写了 "金星的创世记" Oh, he wrote The Venusian Pangenesis.
没读过 l didn't read that one.
那 "星际辣椒珍妮和大铜母鸡"呢? Jenny Starpepper and the Great Brass Hen?
没读过 No.
那 "机器人的情妇" 呢? The Robot's Mistress?
我喜欢浪漫的 l like romances.
那本书还蛮浪漫的 That's kind of a romance.
-是一个女人与机器的浪漫情事 -没错 -Between a woman and a machine? -Yeah.
没搅错吧! l hear that.
你们这里有很多关於幽浮的事吗? Do you get a lot of UFO types around here?
有一些 Some.
你信吗? Do you believe?
是的, 我信 Oh, yes, l do.
这里出很多怪事 Been a lot of strange happenings in these parts.
要是我们是全宇宙唯一的生物, 那就太遗憾了 Ah, it'd be a shame if we were the only souls in the universe.
机率上来说是不可能的 Probability alone suggests not.
你知道在可观测的宇宙中就有两千亿个银河 You know, there are 200 billion galaxies in the observable universe.
Oh.
令人深思, 不是吗? Makes you think, doesn't it?
深思什么? What?
那些外星人都跑哪儿去了? Where is everybody?
?！ -Boo!
-Oh.
耍了你们吧! Gotcha.
你们要喝点什么吗? So, you fellows set or can l get you something else?
麻烦你续杯我的咖啡 Oh, l think l would like a refill of coffee, please, Pat.
好的, 那你要点什么吗? All right, then. How about you, pumpkin?
我可以来杯 "E.T.男 外星人啤酒"？ Can l have an E.T. Malt, please?
mmm, 要不要加上仙女棒啊? Mmm. You want that with a sparkler?
好啊 -Yeah.
那就是要罗 l will take that as a yes.
我想我得上个厕所 l think l might do a toilet.
真好笑 Pretty funny.
他就坐在牛头上 He's sitting right there on top of that bull,
然后他就叫 "把她拖开" and he goes, "Cut her loose."
什么? What?
我可不认识你 l don't know you.
Ooh.
漫画 Comics.
怎么一回事啊? What was that about?
你有想过我的感受吗? How you think that makes me feel?
对我不礼貌 Be rude to me?
Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.
喔! 蛋哥 Ooh! Eggy,
一个外星人刚吐在我的手掌上 an alien just sicked up in my palms.
克利夫
怎么啦? What?
-我只是开玩笑的 -不要开玩笑 -l'm joking. -Stop it.
里面有一个洗手乳的容器做成外星人的样子, 真是太有才了 They've got a soap dispenser in there shaped like an alien's head. lt's brilliant!
-有人进来了 -什么? -Someone's here. -What?
上餐了 Here it comes!
什么玩意.... What in...
Hey, 今天还好吧? Hey, fellas! How you doing today?
搞什么? 这里是同性恋酒吧吗? What is this, some kind of gay bar?
不, 这里是给人吃点东西的地方 No. Just a place where you can get a bite to eat
也许可以有近距离接触(与外星人) and maybe share a close encounter.
Yeah, 听起来像是gay酒吧 Yeah. lt sounds like a gay bar.
不, 我们只是朋友 Oh, no, we're just friends.
看起来你们俩可以来罐啤酒 So, you guys look like you could do with a couple beers.
好啊 You go do that.
好的, 就这样 All right. You do that.
是 Yes.
再吸一口. 就这样 Get a sip. l'll get this.
不要管它了 Just leave it.
非常感谢 Thank you very much.
你在做什么? -What are you doing?
你别那样死瞪著我看啊 Don't you put those queer eyes on me.
我没有, 我忘了拿我的贴纸了 l'm not. l forgot the sticker.
你怎么这么久啊? What took you so long?
-我在黏贴纸 -喔 -l was putting the sticker on. -Oh.
他们真是怪怪的一对宝, 不是吗? They were an odd pair, weren't they?
没错, 绝对不是跟我同一挂的 Yeah, definitely not my kind of people.
我觉得咱们会再跟他们见到面 l doubt very much we'll be seeing them again.
喔喔 -Oh!
-不会是他们的车吧? -不是 -That wasn't their truck, was it? -No.
-我应该下车去看看吗? -算了吧! -Should l go and have a look? -No!
外星人高速公路
"黑色信箱"（地名） The Black Mailbox.
哇 ... Wow!
这可能是我见过最屌的事了 This is probably the coolest thing l've ever seen.
还记得我们用你妈妈的电脑Googl搜寻过这地方吗? Do you remember when we Googled it on your mum's computer
然后突然间电话响了, 你还以为是FBI来抓你了 and the phone rang and you thought it was the FBl?
我不认为是FBI l didn't really think it was the FBl.
-然后你就哭了 -拜托我当时是有"时差" -You started crying. -l had jet lag.
拜托!我们只是去了布鲁塞尔而已 （传说外星人常出现 亦是北约与欧盟所在 离英国不太远） We'd only been to Brussels.
去站在它的旁边 Go stand next to it. Yep.
笑一个 Smile.
hey, 想想如果我们被幽浮相中了 Hey, imagine if we got buzzed by a craft.
那肯定是超爽的, 不是吗? That would be amazing, wouldn't it?
那幽浮会在我们头顶上盘旋 lt just hovers over us
然后我们口袋的铜板会被磁化, 接著我们就会被晒伤 and then all the coins in our pockets go magnetic, and then we get sunburned.
然后它就很快的飞上天 Then it just goes up really quickly.
笑一个 Smile!
如果外星人真的降落了, 你会怎样? What would you do if they actually landed?
嗯, 第一次的接触可是一个很重大的责任, 是吧? Well, first contact is a big responsibility, isn't it?
他们来得平和, 我们却吓傻了? They come in peace, we go to pieces? Uh-uh.
那可不是我想要的 That's not how l roll.
我也不想 -No.
那是什么? What's that?
会不会是刚刚那两人啊? Do you think that's those men?
不 No.
咱们看完了快闪 We've seen enough.
走吧! Let's go.
快走 Go, go, go!
他们赶上来了 Oh, they're gaining.
这就像电影激流四勇士"Deliverance"剧情一样 This is like Deliverance!
他们会强暴我们并打断我们的手 They're going to rape us and break our arms! (Deliverance的剧情根本不是这样..）
我可不想被打断手 l don't want my arms broken!
-我想尿尿 -你才刚尿过 -l need the toilet. -You've just been!
人家膀胱小嘛 You know l've got a child's bladder.
别让他们超车 Don't let them get past!
-那你要我怎样? 撞他们吗? -押金怎么办? -What do you want me to do, ram them? -What about the deposit?
-不是他们! 不是他们! -哎 -lt's not them! lt's not them! -Ah!
-我的天啊 -Oh, my God.
-太恐怖了 -That was awful!
太恐怖了 That was terrifying!
Hello?
-也许你应该打电话报警 -对 -Maybe you should call for help. -Yeah.
通了 lt's ringing.
我要是你的话, 我是不会打这电话的 l wouldn't do that if l were you.
挂了电话吧! Put the phone down.
喔! 我操! Oh, fuck me.
-你对他做了什么? -我什么都没做. 他昏倒了 -What have you done to him? -l didn't do anything to him. He fainted.
是你让他昏倒的! Yeah, but you made him faint!
是喔, 你以为我的雷射枪只调到 "击昏"而已 Yes. But it's not like l set my phaser to "Faint."
你有雷射枪? You've got a phaser?
不, 我没有...听著... No, l don't... Look! Listen.
Hey, 我是真的需要你帮忙 Hey, l really need your help, okay?
你可以帮我把这个家伙搬到车上吗? Can we get this guy back onto your wagon?
你是个外星人吗? Are you an alien?
对你而言吗? 没错, 我是 To you, l am, yes.
那你会对我 "探肛"吗? Are you gonna probe us?
为什么你们都这样认为? Why does everyone always assume that?
我干嘛? 专门来收集你们的屁的吗? 研究你们的屁股我会有啥成就? What am l doing? Am l harvesting farts? How much can l learn from an ass?
说什么? What?
不好意思. 尊姓大名? l'm sorry. What's your name?
葛莱姆.威廉 lt's Graeme Willy.
那他叫什么名字? And what's his name?
他是个作家, 叫克利夫.戈林 That's the writer, Clive Gollings.
好麻, 别激动! 我叫做保罗 Okay, cool! l'm Paul.
保罗 Paul?
对, 只不是个挥之不去的外号 Yeah. lt's a nickname that stuck.
我的船迫降到一只狗的头上, 那都不重要了! My ship crashed on a dog. lt doesn't matter!
喂! 过来帮忙把作家克利夫.戈林搬回露营车 Look! Can we get the writer, Clive Gollings, back on the RV
然后远离这里, 好吗? and get the hell out of here, please?
-我办不到... -我现在代志大条了 -l can't... -l'm in a hell of a pickle,
如果你不帮我, 我会死在路上的 and if you don't help me, l could die on this road tonight.
我不晓得ㄟ, 我们的行程很紧凑的 l don't know. We're on quite a tight schedule.
老兄, 有时候 你不能循规蹈矩. Look, man. Sometimes, you just gotta roll the dice.
你怎么说? What do you say?
-好吧! -好的! 好极了 -Okay. -Okay! Perfect! Great!
好, 来帮我搬他吧 Okay, help me grab him.
这家伙居然尿了裤子 This man has peed his pants.
嗯! 他膀胱的确小了点 Yeah, he's got a child's bladder.
喔, 好极了 Oh, fantastic.
这车子可再走快一点吗? Doesn't this thing go any faster?
不好意思, 这里速限 70英哩, 所以... Well, l'm sorry, the speed limit is 70, so...
去他妈的速限! 嗯, 不对. 对了. 要遵守速限 Screw the speed limit! Actually, no. Ooh, yeah. Don't screw it.
想法很好. 不要引起注意. 不错 That's good thinking. Okay? Stay inconspicuous. That's good.
我怎么可以听懂你说的话? How come l can understand you?
你有用什么语言的转译器或什么的? Are you using some sort of neural language router?
事实上, 我说英文. 你他妈的大白痴 Actually, l'm speaking English, you fucking idiot.
-这样说话不太好喔 -太没水准了 -That's not nice. -That was mean.
好吧! 我现在有点紧张. 我刚刚才翻车差点死了 Look, l'm little tense. l was just involved in a major car crash.
那是你自己的错啊 That was your fault.
我构不到踏板. 我的脚太小只了 l can't reach the pedals. My legs are too little.
所以我就拉了手煞车 l had to use the parking brake, okay?
很遗憾, 你还在惊吓中 l'm sorry. You're in shock right now.
我知道对你来说这一切都很诡异 l understand this must be very weird for you.
不过请保持镇静并往北开, 好吗? Just act normal and drive north, okay?
我们必需尽量拉开与老大哥的距离 We gotta get as much distance as we can between us and the Big Guy.
佐伊尔, 情况如何? Zoil? What's happening?
-它逃走了 -妈的! -He's gone. -Shit!
看样子, 它搭了便车了 Looks like he hitched a ride, too.
-怎么说? -车子的轮胎痕 -What do you mean? -Tire tracks.
那个王八蛋抢了当地人的车吗? Bastard jacked a native?
可能抢了两个 Could be two.
你不觉得一切都过於巧合吗? Don't you think this is all a bit of a coincidence?
你认为它是计划好的? Are you suggesting he knew?
小浑蛋可能与家里通过电话了 Little fucker might have phoned home.
也许救援队已经上路了 There might even be a rescue party on the way.
佐伊尔, 我们是不是该拿出我们的"大枪" Zoil, we need to break out the big guns.
你觉得这样做的明智的吗? 我们最不愿见到就是 Do you think that that's wise? The last thing we need is
胡-哈 一声 a hoo-ha.
也许你说得没错 Maybe you're right.
你听著. 我派了两个菜鸟在北方75哩处 Listen, l got two rookies on a special mission 75 clicks north of you.
我让他们设个路障 l'll have them set up a roadblock.
他们都是门外汉. 你就让我处理就好吗? These are just civilians. Why don't you let me take care of it?
你也许需要几个唬仔 You might need the extra muscle.
不要跟他们说什么. 要不然没完没了 Just keep them in the dark. l don't want any loose ends.
晚上这里的路况可危险的很 These roads can be treacherous at night.
常有人在这儿出车祸 People get into accidents all the time.
你的想法不错. 就这么办 l like your thinking. Get it done.
振作点, 我们有新任务了 Heads up. We just got reassigned.
好ㄟ Nice.
那这个三明治怎么办? What about the sandwich?
-她说我们可以分著吃 -喔!我好爱这份工作 -She said we can share it. -Oh, l love this job.
Mmm-hmm.
-我还真需要那 -Man, l needed that.
我喜欢开心果 l love pistachios.
最讨厌拿到一个没开的开心果 l hate it when you get a closed one, right?
我就直接把它咬开 I usually just bite them.
不, 不要这么做 No. You don't do that at all.
你敲一敲它们, 如果还不开, 就扔了吧! You tap them, if they don't open on their own, you throw them away.
不不, 你说的是贻贝的吃法 No, that's mussels.
不, 我说的是开心果 No, it's pistachios.
-搞什么? -克利夫, 住手! 你在干什么? -What the fuck? -Clive, stop it! What are you doing?
你是什么东西? What are you?
(说克林贡语) (SPEAKlNG KLlNGON)
它没问题的, 它很友善, 它名字叫保罗 He's okay. He's fine. He's friendly. His name's Paul.
没有外星人叫做 "保罗"的 Aliens aren't called "Paul."
你刚才说克林贡语吗? 妈的, 你这个书呆子疯了! Was that Klingon? You psychotic nerd!
保罗是来自仙女座北方螺旋臂 Paul is from a small M-class planet
一颗M级的行星 in the northern spiral arm of the Andromeda Galaxy.
谢谢 Thank you.
它看起来它明显太假了(太外星人) He looks too obvious.
这是有原因的, 克利夫 There's a reason for that, Clive.
这60年来人类一直将我的脸 Over the last 60 years the human race has been drip-fed images of my face
印在午餐盒和T-恤那些乱七八糟的东西上 on lunchboxes and T-shirts and shit.
防止万一有天两个种族碰到时, 你才不会吓傻来个他妈的蠢星际开枪事件 lt's in case our species do meet, you don't have a fucking spaz attack!
我没有被你吓傻 l did not have a spaz attack!
-你不要再做了 -妈的那是我的 Jorph -Don't do it again! -That's my fucking jorph.
把你的手拿开, 要是我的Jorph发炎 你就死定了 Get your fucking fingers out of there! lf l get a jorph infection, you're dead!
-天啊 -啊, 完了 -Oh, my God! -Oh, shit!
保罗 Paul.
保罗? Paul?
好了 可能就是这台车了. 咱们在找什么? Okay, okay. This could be it. So, what are we looking for, again?
我不知道 l don't know.
-你们来美国做什么? -我们来渡假的 -What brings you to USA? -We're on holiday.
我们刚到过动漫展 We've been to Comic-Con.
动漫展是吧! 别跟我夥伴说 -Comic-Con? Don't tell O'Reilly.
-他也喜欢这种废物 -是喔 -He loves that dweeb shit. -Oh.
你们认识班尼.希尔吗? You guys know Benny Hill?
-不 -不认识 -No. -No.
喔,天啊! 看看这个 Oh, my God! Look at this!
-怎么啦? -你看 -What? -Look at this!
看什么? What?
这些家伙见过亚当.夏多查德 These guys have met Adam Shadowchild.
谁是他妈的亚当.夏多查德 Who the hell is Adam Shadowchild?
他写过 "木星惯例" He wrote The Jupiter Praxis.
说什么? What?
"星际辣椒珍妮和大白长臂猿" Jenny Starpepper and the Huge White Gibbon?
什么? Huh?
"众蛾之夜" Night of the Moths?
你是在说英文吗? 你在讲什么? Are you speaking English? What are you talking about?
好家伙! 他是什么样的一个人? Brilliant! What was he like?
他有些紧张 He was a bit intense.
嗯, 他是个艺术家 Well, he's an artist.
让我看看. 这是什么东西, 书呆A漫吗? Let me see this. What is this, nerd porn?
-不, 那是克利夫的.. -它是我的小说 -No, that's Clive's... -lt's my novel.
好吧 Okay.
Ha, 三个乳房. 够屌! Ha. Three tits. That's awesome.
你们应该给她四个奶 You guys should have given her four tits.
那样蛮变态的 That's just sick.
只是说说而已 l was just saying.
Hey, 你觉得这是我们要找的吗? Hey, do you think this is it?
不可能, 你在里面还找到什么? Doubtful. What else did you find in there?
没什么. 就是件沾了尿的牛仔裤 Not much. Just some pissy jeans.
-克利夫的膀胱跟小孩一样大.. -闭嘴啦! -Clive's got a child's... -Shut up.
抱歉 Sorry.
-好了没事了 你们可以走了 -谢谢 Okay. You guys can go. -Thank you.
可不可还我...谢谢 Can l have my... Thank you very much.
可以告诉我们你们在找什么吗? May l ask what you're searching for?
不可以 No.
谢谢. 来吧! 克利夫 Thank you. Come on, Graeme.
很Man喔! 辣手神探 Way to go, Dirty Harry! （Dirty Harry是克林伊斯威特的电影角色名.也是指某种性爱动作）
不错嘛, 是够Man的 That was all right, right?
-岂只不错 简直超 Man的 -对, 你说得对 -All right? That was great energy, man. -Yeah. lt was.
就是这样..... 没错. 就好像... 不 That's it..ls right. lt was like.. Not...)
-我总觉得会发生些什么事情 -你想太多了 -l thought it was okay. -No, you're thinking about it too much.
-是喔? -天啊! 他们对他们靴子自慰ㄟ -You think so? Mmm-hmm. -Oh, God. They were shaking in their boots.
你看吧!现在一切都明白了 l think it's pretty obvious what happened there, isn't it?
是吗? ls it?
政府在"黑色信箱"涂上一些神经毒素的油漆 The government used some kind ofneurotoxic paint on the Black Mailbox.
让我们一起产生幻觉以为有外星人 lt caused us to suffer a shared hallucination about an alien.
现在看起来一切都合情合理 lt makes complete sense.
你没搞错吧! Wrong!
-Oh!
我射掉了你的鸡鸡 Your dick is gone.
嗯. 我秒掉了你的蛋蛋 Hmm. Your balls are gone.
不, 不! Oh, no!
什么? What?
拜托, 成熟点! 你们看到我的短裤了吗? Come on, grow up. You guys seen my shorts?
你是怎么做到的? 我是说隐形 How did you do that? How did you go invisible?
算是种"变色龙"反应吧! Oh, it's a camouflage response.
是吗? 就像是"终极(铁血)战士"那样? What, like, Predator?
没错! 不过我憋气时才能隐形 Exactly! Although l can only do it while l'm holding my breath.
但你随时都可以隐形吧? But you can do it any time you want?
随时都可以（学终极战士的嘴巴） Any time.
蛮像的 That's just like him.
这里是不是只有我是心智正常的? Am l the only sane person here?
Eh?
你没差啦, 顶多再回51区而已 lt's all right for you, isn't it? You'll go back to Area 51 .
而我们会因包庇逃犯而被逮捕,送到古巴关达那摩湾监狱去 We'll be arrested for harboring a fugitive and sent to Guantanamo Bay! (美国阿富汗罪犯被刑求自杀之处 欧巴马已下令关闭)
我去弄点咖啡和贝果来吃 Why don't l go make some bagels and coffee?
让你俩谈谈 Leave you two alone.
你是怎么啦, 克利夫? What's the matter, Clive?
有个外星人正在厨房里煮咖啡和贝果 There is an alien in the kitchenette, making bagels and coffee.
-那你要喝茶吗? -我不要喝茶 -Did you want tea? -No, l don't want tea!
对, 因为在美国喝茶挺诡异的 Right, because tea is weird in America.
他们茶包都一直放在杯子里 They leave the bag in.
葛莱姆, 诡异的是我们载了一个搭便车的外星人 What's weird, Graeme, is the fact that we've picked up an extraterrestrial hitchhiker
而你却像是没事一般的 and you seem completely fine with it!
贝果加咖啡 Bagels and coffee
喔! 酵母酱 Ooh! Marmite!
它?它有生命的危险, 它需要我们的帮助 He said his life's in danger. He needs our help, you know?
有时候, 你不能循规蹈矩. Sometimes, you've just gotta roll the dice.
万一哪天我们醒来发现它正在探查我们的肛门呢? What if we wake up and find him inserting a probe into our anus?
显然, 他们不搞这套了 Apparently, they don't do that.
有人要吃吗? Anyone want one of these?
有人要吗? 有人吗? Eh? Anyone? Anyone?
Eh?
48, 49, 50 Forty-eight, 49, 50.
来了! 不管你躲好了没, 你这狗娘养的 ...! Coming! Ready or not, you son of a bitch.
-另外一个在哪? -不知道, 长官 -Where's the other one? -l don't know, sir.
哈格 Haggard!
抱歉, 我们在玩.... Sorry, it's just, we were...
哈格 Haggard!
干! Fuck.
够屌! Nice.
快过来, 来了个局里的人 Get over here. lt's a guy with a badge.
我们在玩躲猫猫,因为时间多到很闲... We were just playing hide and seek, because we had a lot of time.
快点! Hurry up!
我正在躲而已! l was hiding.
有任何人经过这里吗? You have any traffic through here?
没什么人, 就几个乡巴佬和两个开露营车的书呆子 No, just a couple of hillbilly types and two nerds in an RV.
书呆子? Nerds, huh?
他们刚看完动漫展, 他们还见了亚当.夏多查德呢! Yes, they were coming from Comic-Con. They met Adam Shadowchild.
谁是他妈的亚当.夏多查德? Who the hell is Adam Shadowchild?
他写过 "监狱浩克 441" He wrote Prisonhulk Four-Forty-One, okay?
"星际辣椒珍妮" 和 "吐痰虫" 还有 "暴涨中的天王星" Jenny Starpepper and the Spitting Worm. Fluxing Uranus.
你是个大人吧? You know you're a grown man, right?
也许还每天刮胡子, 纳税, 而且也有阴毛了? Probably shave, pay taxes, have pubic hair?
我都有了 All of those things.
-你有搜过那台露营车吗? -有啊, 长官 -Did you search that vehicle? -O'RElLLY: Yes, sir.
-有发现什么吗? -没有什么! -What did you find? -Nothing much.
只发现一本书上有个三个乳房的女人 Just a book with a green woman with three titties.
乳房, 三个 Titties. Three titties.
三奶妹! 够屌! Three tits. That's awesome.
喔, 还有件尿湿的牛仔裤 Oh, and some pissy jeans.
-那家伙尿裤子了 -停停停 -Guy pissed himself. -Close that.
我不知道他本来就有尿裤子的习惯还是... l don't know if he had a pre-existing problem or...
你们两个弱智的混蛋给我听好了 Listen to me, Frik and Fuck.
我要你们好好想想那个尿裤子的家伙 l want everything you can remember about the pissy nerds, okay?
我们出发了 We're leaving.
那路障怎么办?长官? What about the roadblock, sir?
没用的 lt didn't work.
咱们得拆了路障. 这东西没用 We gotta take down that roadblock. lt didn't work.
我就站在你边边, 我也听到了 l'm standing right next to you.
-(HORN HONKlNG) -(YELLS)
嘿! Hey!
买点 Reese's Pieces(薯片) 好吗? Reese's Pieces! Yes!
谢了 Thank you.
听说昨晚在Rachel一带有骚动 l heard there was a commotion on the road after Rachel.
是吗? 我怎么都不知道 Funny, l didn't hear nothing.
-可能是基地的士兵休假外出吧 -可能吧 -lt must have been the boys out at the base. -Yeah.
嘿 -Hey.
-会不会买太多了啊? -说什么? -That's a bit much, isn't it? -What?
-把东西都放回去 -喔 -Put it all back. -Oh.
甜甜圈和巧克力牛奶留著 Except the donuts and the chocolate milk.
还有 brritos, Cheetos, 和 Fritos(都是薯片)也留 And the burritos, Cheetos and Fritos.
-那保罗要的 Reese's Pieces呢? -快一点啦! -What about Paul's Reese's Pieces? -Just hurry up. Please.
不, 你先走 No, you go right ahead.
你确定吗? 谢谢. Are you sure? Thank you. Thank you.
-外面那台怪兽是你们的吗? -说什么? -That beast outside yours? -What?
-"怪兽"是指什么? -你的露营车吗? -GRAEME: What do you mean "beast"? -Your RV?
喔, 露营车 . 那台露营车... Oh, the... Yes. The RV is...
不....没错 No... Yes.
你们俩打哪里来啊? Where are you boys from?
英国 -England. -England.
我听说过那地方. 没枪的地方 l heard about England. No guns.
-枪不多 -不常见 -Not many. -Not really.
只有, 你知道的, 农夫一堆 Just, you know, farmers.
那么那里的警察怎么射杀坏蛋啊? How are police supposed to shoot anybody?
-他们不用枪的 -尽量不用枪的 -They don't. -They try not to.
一共是 15.58元 That'll be $15.58.
这是20元, 不用找零钱了, 要不你也可以捐给慈善基构或什么的 $20. Just keep the change, and give it to charity, or something.
刚刚表现不错嘛, 葛莱姆 You did amazing, Graeme!
那条子一点都没有疑心 That cop didn't suspect a thing!
而且, 克利夫 And, Clive,
这次你没尿裤子 you didn't pee your pants.
我不是要扫你的兴. 不过你对我们的要求蛮过份的 l don't mean to be a stick in the mud, but you are asking a lot of us, all right?
我们才刚认识, 我们根本不知道要去哪儿或为什么要去 We've only just met, we don't know where we're going, or why.
你不觉得你该向我们解释一下吗? You don't think we're due an explanation?
听我说, 你知道的越少越好 Look, the less you guys know, the better.
我要让你们能所谓 "合理的否认" l want you to have plausible deniability.
可以说我在基地里做客做了很长一段时间 Let's just say l spent a long time at that base thinking l was a guest.
后来结果我才知道 Turns out
我事实上是个囚犯 l was a prisoner.
不过别担心. 我搞定了 But don't worry. l got it all under...
干! 吓我一大跳 Fuck, that made me jump.
可怜的小东西 Poor little thing!
那是没办法的事, 兄弟 Nothing you could've done, mate.
你在干麻? What you doing?
旁边看著 Just watch.
奇迹出现了! lt's a miracle!
我肯定会怀念这些的 Man, l'm gonna miss these. Mmm.
你干麻这样做? Why would you do that?
你总不会叫我吃死的鸟吧?(活著才新鲜) l'm not going to eat a dead bird, am l?
滚出我的脑袋 Going out of my mind
你让我想到我只是在浪费我的时间 You got me thinking that l'm wasting my time
别贬低我 Don't bring me down
来啊, 兄弟 Come on, guys!
11:00, 12:00! 11:00, 12:00! (在跨时区的地点)
来啊! 挺好玩的 Come on! lt's fun!
如果你发挥想像力, 这就是时光旅行 lf you think about it, it's time travel.
11点钟,12点钟 . 11 :00, 12:00!
好ㄟ Yes! All right!
我看看 别动啊 Let me see. No, just sit still.
你是不是还画过其他法国女孩 杰克?（铁达尼号台词） You gonna draw me like one of your French girls, Jack?
开玩笑的, 对不起 l'm joking. l'm sorry.
只要不要把我画成肥佬,好吗? 你们的地心引力让我增加了10磅 Just don't make me look fat, okay? Earth's gravity adds 1 0 pounds.
保罗, 可以问你个问题吗? Paul, could l ask you a question?
问吧 Shoot!
你有对人类做过这样的事吗? Have you ever done that to a person?
有啊, 我已吃过好多人 Yes, l've eaten many people.
开玩笑的, 大哥. 放轻松 l'm joking, big guy. Relax.
不, 我是说, 救人 No, l mean, fix them.
喔, 没有. 没救过死人过 Oh. No. Not a dead person.
救死鸟是一回事 救死人那可大大的不同 Recently dead bird? That's one thing. Dead person? Whole other ball game.
对我来说这可是很危险的 因为它受的伤会转移到我身上 lt's actually really dangerous for me. The damage can bounce back onto me and...
抱歉, 我让你无聊的想睡觉? 是不是以前听过这样的事啊? Oh, l'm sorry. Am l boring you? Have you heard this one before?
你累的吗, 香肠屌哥? Are you tired, Sausage?
不要在他面前叫我这个名字 Don't call me that in front of him.
好麻, 你累不累? Are you tired, though?
蛋哥, 我真累了 Eggy, l'm bushed.
知道吗, 我们都累了 You know what? We're all tired.
我们停下来过夜好了 Let's just pull over and stop for the night, huh?
我们可是逃犯ㄟ, 不是吗? We're fugitives, Paul, all right?
我可不愿坐等著被"MIB星际战警"捉去玩弄 l refuse to just sit around and wait to get fingered by the Men in Black.
我们就找个安静的地方, 不要引人注意 We just gotta find somewhere quiet. We won't draw attention to ourselves.
但哪里能去呢? But where are we going, Paul?
待会儿, 你就可看到了 Oh, you'll know it when you see it.
-两个白人? -两个怪怪的白人 -Two white guys? -Two strange white guys.
-怪怪的白人, 知道了. 买了什么奇怪的东西吗? O'RElLLY: Strange white guys. Got it. Order anything weird?
巧克力牛奶 Chocolate milk.
巧克力...巧克力? 巧克力 -Chocolate... Chocolate? Chocolate...
回报, 佐伊尔 Zoil, report.
我们追踪他们到伊来的一个加油站 We've tracked him to a gas station in Ely.
我们认为它现在跟两个英格兰(英国)男人一起乘坐一辆露营车 We think he may be traveling in an RV with two men from England.
新英格兰吗 New England?
老英格兰(英国) Old England.
诡异, 他们是 MI6(英国情报机构)吗? Creepy. What are they, Ml6?
不是. 只是两个从动漫展出来的宅男书呆子 Negative. Just a couple of nerds on the lam from Comic-Con.
我姊的孩子也去了那个动漫展 My sister's kid went to that.
那个小王八蛋 Little manga faggot.
佐伊尔, 我觉得怪怪的. 我们内部好像有人在帮它 Zoil, something doesn't feel right. l think he had help on the inside.
我要你把那些书呆子干掉 l want those nerds iced
至於那个绿色的小混蛋, 管他死活都行, 带回来 and that little green prick either back in his fishbowl or dead ASAP.
我快赶上它了, 我可感觉的到 l'm closing in. l can feel it.
在24小时内, 它就会希望他从来没有踏足过地球. ln 24 hours he's gonna wish he never set foot on planet Earth.
好极了 Good.
我们到了. 就是这里了(天国之门) Okay. Here we are. This is the place.
看起来还不赖 Yeah, this looks good.
看起来这里不像有人被谋杀过 lt doesn't look like anyone's been murdered here.
太安静了点.. Awfully quiet.
安静好啊. 葛莱姆, 安静是我们的好友 Quiet's good, Graeme. Quiet's our friend.
hi, 你好 Hi, there.
门外有个女孩子 There's a girl outside.
好, 就这样. 你听著 Okay. All right. Look.
我们只是两个正常男人 We're just a couple of regular guys
正前往少有观光客的美国区域 on a tour of the less touristy side of the American Midwest.
我想她听不到你说的 l don't think she heard you.
我在跟你说话 l'm talking to you.
喔, 抱歉 Oh, sorry.
嗨, 我是露丝.鲍格斯 Hi. l'm Ruth Buggs.
晚上好, 露丝. 我是作家 克利夫.戈林 Good evening, Ruth. l am the writer, Clive Gollings.
这是我的朋友和同伙, 葛莱姆.威廉先生 This is my friend and cohort, Mr. Graeme Willy.
嗨 Hi.
你们还有空位吗? Have you got room?
当然有, 你们就停在 B9位置上吧 Sure. Yeah, park in bay nine.
一共是25元一个晚上, 包括接水电 lt's $25 a night, including hookups
我还需要你们的一个证件 and l'll need an lD to hold onto.
没问题 Okay.
我们只是两个正常的男人 We're just a couple of regular guys
前往少有观光客的美国区域 on a tour of the less touristy side of the American Midwest.
-真刺激 -可不是吗! -How exciting. -l know.
给你, 我的护照 There you go. lt's my passport.
大英帝国, 我喜欢英国 The UK. l love the UK.
-你去过吗? -没去过 -Have you been? -No.
你该去的(你可走了?) You should go.
喔, 好的 Oh. Okay.
不, 不, 我是说, 你应该去伦敦的 No, no, l meant, you should go to London.
有好多地方我都想去 There's a lot of places l want to go.
露丝! 露丝! 快过来! Ruth! Ruth! Get in here!
我明天早上再来跟你收钱 l'll be by in the morning to get your money
那么, 祝你有个美好的夜晚 so have a pleasant evening now, won't you?
谢谢 Thank you. Thank you.
再见 Bye. And you. Bye.
她好可爱 She was lovely.
那还不去娶她当老婆? Why don't you just marry her, then?
boo!
每次都成功 Every time, it works!
这次我憋气足足30秒 That was 30 seconds ago, l did it.
-怎么那么久? -我只是跟他们聊聊, 爸爸 -MOSES: What took you so long? -l was just talking, Papa.
你话太多了 Well, you talk too much.
对不起, 爸 Sorry, Papa.
Huh?
哈罗 Hello.
-要抽根烟吗? -不, 谢了. 我不抽烟 -You want a cigarette? -No, thanks. l don't smoke.
-我可以问你一件事吗? -好啊, 问吧 -Can l ask you something? -Yeah, sure.
-你和葛莱姆, 你们俩是... -什么? -You and Graeme, are you guys... -What?
你知道的... You know...
你知道的, 你们俩, 两个男人... You know! You guys, two guys...
(暗示口交)
妈的开什么玩笑? Fucking kidding me?
搞什么... What are you...
-你说什么? 我不懂ㄟ -同性恋 -l don't know what you mean. -Gay!
不是啦! 怎么老是有人这样讲? No! Why do people keep saying that?
不不, 我只是胡乱猜猜而已 No, l was just wondering.
不过如果你真是 我也无所谓. 我们星球上 每个人都是双性恋者 lt's totally cool if you are. Everyone's bi on my planet.
只不过都是为了享乐, 你知道我的意思吧 lt's all about the pleasure thing. You know what l'm saying?
你来这里干什么, 保罗? Why are you here, Paul?
事实上我是真的来地球从事科学研究的 Oh, l was here on a science mission, actually,
然后我就出了点开太空船的问题 and then l had some spaceship-related problems,
接著就坠机了 and l kind of crashed.
还好运气不错, 有个小女孩 Lucky for me though, this little girl,
把我从残骸中拖了出来 she pulls me out of the wreck.
接下来 就有人来了把我蒙起来载去了基地 Next thing l know, guys arrive, cart me off to the base.
这么长的一段时间你都在做些什么? What have you been doing here all this time?
想办法回家, 还一直做些无聊的咨询 ... l've been kicking back, man. l've been shooting the shit.
我一直都是政府的"顾问" l've been advising the government.
也不只是政府而已 Not just the government.
史蒂芬史匹柏:我要 E.T有一个特殊的能力 SPlELBERG ON RADlO: l want him to have some kind of a special power.
类似"救世主"一般 Something messianic.
好吧! 史蒂芬, 那么"细胞再生"如何? Okay, Steven, how about cellular revivification?
好啊, 我不知道那是什么 Yeah, I don't know what that is.
喔!就是修护毁损细胞 Oh. Restoration of damaged tissue
用的是"基本记忆心灵操控术" through telepathic manipulation of intrinsic field memory.
-那是什么玩意? -就是 "治愈能力" 补血的啦, 史匹柏先生 -What's that mean? -lt means healing, Mr. Spielberg.
喔, 对对. 补血的 Yeah, right. Healing.
那是用摸的还是怎么样? By touch, or something like that.
也许让它的手指在发功的时候会亮起来 Maybe his finger lights up at the end when he reaches out and touches?
也许吧! 你知道的, 有时候, 我觉得说的少反而比较好 Maybe. You know, sometimes l find less is more.
嘿, 相信我 Hey. Trust me.
要是你知道这60年来保罗对流行文化有多大的影响, You'd be surprised how much he's influenced popular culture
你真会大吃一惊 over the last 60 years.
穆德探员(X档案的主角)没有说错 Agent Mulder was right.
-穆德探员根本就是我的主意 -真的吗? -Agent Mulder was my idea! -Really?
-Wow! -没错! -Wow! -Yeah!
真酷! That's cool.
地球人, 音乐开大点. 我喜欢这首歌 Pump that shit, Earth-man. l like this song. Mmm.
马文是我最爱的歌手 Marvin's my boy.
来啊, 哥儿们. 放松一下 Come on. Break it down a bit, boys.
别害怕啊! Don't be afraid.
看看我, 我享受的很 Yeah, look at me, l'm breaking it down.
就用你那个火钳吧 Use them tongs.
跟它跳个舞 Dance with those tongs.
把火升高点 Stoke the fire!
喔! 喔! Ooh! Ooh!
这就对了! Yes.
Yee-haw!
露丝! 祈祷了! Ruth! Prayers!
我不知道这歌在唱什么 l don't know the words to this song.
没人知道 No one does!
嘿! 兄弟, 咱们一起High 吧! Hey! Guys, let's get fucked up.
喔, 是谁在敲门? 不要再敲了 Oh, who's knocking? Stop it.
-你干什么? -住嘴 -What are you doing? -Oh, shut up.
我就躲在这里好了 l'll hide in here.
-别出去 -我为什么要出去? -Don't come out. -Why would l come out?
-是谁? -是露丝 -Who is it? -lt's Ruth.
喔..你最好不要给我开门 Ooh... Don't you dare open that door.
-嗨 -你好? -Hi. -Hello.
早安, 我可进来吗? Good morning. May l come in?
-最好不要! -当然, 快进来. 就把这里当做你家 -No. l don't think you should come in. -Yeah. Make yourself at home.
-我衣服没出好 -来, 快进来 -l'm not really dressed. -Sure. ln you come.
嗯, 一切都还好吗? Oh, was everything okay?
-是, 很好. 再好不过了 -嗯, 还可以. 谢谢 -Yes it was. lt was very nice. The best. Ever. -Yes, thank you. Adequate.
不是还有一个人吗? 他在哪? So, where's the other one?
还有一个? 它.... The other one? lt's just...
喔! 没事的. 我们不是算人头收钱的 Oh, oh. lt's okay, we don't charge by the person.
昨晚我看到三个人影在车的旁边跳舞的 There were three shadows l saw dancing around the RV last night, right?
-剩下的那一个 那个... -喔.. 他... -The other one. The other one. -Oh... He...
我在厕所拉屎, 我吃了一个没开壳的开心果 l'm in the can. l ate a closed pistachio.
我自作自受 l'm paying for it.
-蛮好的一件 T-恤 -谢谢, 教堂给的 -That's a nice T-shirt. -Oh, thanks. l got it at my church.
"叫你进化论！"图案是耶稣在爆头射杀查尔斯.达尔文 lt's Jesus shooting Charles Darwin.
耶稣干嘛要杀达尔文? Why would Jesus want to shoot Charles Darwin?
因为他那个亵渎神的理论 Because of his blasphemous theories.
你们俩信上帝吗? Are you men of God?
我们比较是相信科学的 We're men of science, you know.
我们相信生物从自然和化学的混乱中 We believe in the establishment of a biological order
可发展出一定的进程 through the maelstrom of physical and chemical chaos.
上帝用了六天创造的世界, 而在第七天休息 God created the Earth in six days, and on the seventh day he rested.
真的吗? Really?
是不是上帝创造世界, 你恐怕也不确定吧! 一切都有待讨论 Or it could be God. You don't know, do you? lt's up in the air.
这个世界有四千多年了, 这么精巧的设计只可能是上帝完成的 The world is 4,000 years old and can only be the product of intelligent design.
-简直放屁 -喔 Oh, that's horseshit. -Oh!
好啊, 那么 All right, well, then,
你解释为什么人眼那么的精致复杂 please explain how something as complex as the human eye
就这样进化出来 simply just comes into being.
喔, 少来这套"太复杂不可能自身演化"这种废话 Oh, don't give me that old irreducible complexity crap.
让这么复杂的事物不可能没有 Something as intricate as that does not just occur
造物者的巧手就这样蹦出来 without the intervention of a guiding hand.
不可能就这样蹦出来的 lt didn't just occur!
当然, 这是数十亿年演化的最极致 lt is the culmination of billions of years of development
-无数的物种共同一起乱干的结果 -across countless fucking species.
你在说什么啊? What are you talking about?
-进化论 !宝贝儿! -喔! -Evolution, baby. -Oh!
-亵渎神明! -好耶! -Blasphemy! -Oh, yeah.
你说什么都不能改变我的看法和信仰 Nothing that you can say or do can shake my belief or faith
我相信上帝创造天堂与地球 in the sure and certain knowledge that God made heaven and earth
然后用他的形象创造了我们 and created us all in His own image.
-是吗, 用祂的形象? -没错 -Oh, his own image? -Yeah.
那么, 我有个问题 Well, l got a question.
你应该怎么解释我 ?! How do you explain me?
她要昏倒了, 扶她一下 She's going, she's falling. Catch...
这就对了 And that's Jenga.
-你为什么要这样做? -她昏倒了 -Why did you do that? -She fainted!
早跟你说过了. 人们看到我会昏倒 We've gone through this! They faint!
我们只好把她一起带走 But we're going to have to take her with us now!
不! 不! No! No!
这里是美国, 绑架一个基督徒可比包庇逃犯还严重 This is America. Kidnapping a Christian? That's worse than harboring a fugitive.
可是她见过你了. 如果不带她走, 她会报警 But she's seen you. lf we leave her, she's going to call the police!
谁会鸟她啊?没有人会相信这个信上帝信疯了的独眼龙说的话 Who gives a shit? No one's going to believe this God-bothering Cyclops.
那么我们在路上再丢包她. 先用地毯把她包起来 Let's just dump her on the road! Just roll her up in the rug.
我们不能冒险! 如果我们带著她, 她可能加入我们 We can't risk that! lf we take her with us, then we can get her on our side!
你很想她加入我们, 是吧? You'd love to get her on her side, wouldn't you?
这一点道理都没有 That doesn't make sense.
她不会有问题的. 我们都是好人. Look. She'll be fine. We're quite nice.
好吧! 那我的护照怎么办? All right. What about my passport?
喔!天啊!你们这些家伙. Oh, God! You guys.
"耶稣优先"
Mmm-hmm.
不 No!
霍林斯 克利夫 英国臣民
喔, 妈的! Oh, shit.
露丝, 看在上帝的份上... Ruth, what in the Lord's name...
-早啊! -早! -Morning. -Morning.
快走 快走 快走 Go, go, go!
喔, 靠! Oh, fuck.
显露你自己, 恶魔! Show yourself, demon!
你在哪? 你在哪? Where are you? Where are you?
护照! 护照! Passport! Passport!
跳! 跳! Jump! Jump!
干嘛? 这在我们星球上算小的. What? That's actually small on my planet.
露丝? Ruth?
哈罗, 露丝. 要不要喝杯茶? Hello, Ruth, would you like a cup of tea?
这里是哪里? Where am l?
嘿, 看看谁醒了! Hey, look who's awake.
恶魔! 恶魔! Demon! Demon!
我们很抱歉, 绝对不会伤害你的, 我保证! We're sorry. We're not going to hurt you, l promise.
我们会尽快的放掉你 And we'll let you go just as soon as we can.
你已被撒旦派来的爪牙所蒙蔽了 You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself.
-它是邪恶的! -我就坐在这里耶! -He's evil! -l'm sitting right here, come on!
不, 它不是邪恶, 它只不过有点没教养而已 我们正帮它回家 No, he's not evil, he's just a bit rude. We're trying to help him get home.
它来自另一个世界 He's from another world.
世界只有一个, 我们这一个. 我们这个是我们的天父创造的 There's only one world, our world! The world that our God, the Father, created!
我这么说不知道是不是让你好受点 ... lf it makes you feel any better
因为我的存在同时也证明 "一个世界"的宗教理论 my existence only disproves traditional notions
如传统亚伯拉罕诸教（西方宗教的总系统）和基督教 of the Abrahamic, Judeo-Christian God,
当然包括所有的神学论 全都不是真的.我就这意思. as well as all one-world theologies. That's all l meant.
# 奇异的恩典, 如此甜美的声音" Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound (「奇异恩典」 基督徒用来祈求和平的歌)
真受不了这些宗教狂! -You can't win with these people!
露丝, 听我说. 请冷静个一秒钟 Ruth, just listen to me, for one second. Please, if you could just calm down.
这样叫我怎么开车! -l can't drive like this.
她开始念咒了吗? 受不了了? She's talking in tongues now? Fuck this.
-Oh.
你对她做了什么? What did you do to her?
我只不过通过她的精神感知连接系统 l just transferred my collective knowledge and experience
把我精选的知识和经验传给她而已 via a tactile psychokinetic bridge.
喔, 哇! 你也可以给我来一下吗? Ooh, wow, could you do me?
干这个我脑袋疼的吃不消! lt really takes it out of me.
好啦, 拜托啦 求你了. -Oh, go on, please.
喔, 哇! Oh, wow!
喔, 好耶! Oh, yeah.
他总是比我早知道《太空堡垒》的剧情 He always knew what was going on in Battlestar before me
因为他妈家有第四台 'cause his mum had cable.
好吧! 停车, 我也给你来一下 Fine, pull over. l'll do you.
我不要. 不要事先知道剧情 Absolutely not. No spoilers.
我没打电话给政府, 我打给警察 l didn't call the government. l called the police!
这不是警察能办的案件 鲍格斯先生 This is not the police's area of expertise, Mr. Buggs.
-魔鬼带走了我的女儿 -魔鬼? 你是什么意思? -That devil took my daughter. -What do you mean, devil?
你的女儿叫露丝, 是吧? And your daughter's name is Ruth, is it?
没错! 她妈死后我就一手把她带大的 That's right. l brought her up by myself after her mama died.
你有露丝的照片吗? Do you have a photograph of Ruth, sir?
有的, 她很好认的 Yeah. She's pretty easy to spot.
她四岁之后就眼睛有问题了 She's had this eye thing since she was four years old.
怎么没有带她去看病 Didn't want to take her to a doctor for that?
上帝是她唯一的医生 The good Lord is the only doctor she'll ever need.
了解.你这里有电话 Copy that. Do you have a phone here
你女儿可以用来连络你的吗? that your daughter might try to reach you at if she decides to call?
有, 就在后面 Yeah, in the back.
嘿, 彼得派克（爱拍照的蜘蛛人）.可以放下相机去搞定一下电话? Hey, Peter Parker. Want to put the snappy down and get to the phone?
好! Right.
有机会她就会打给我的 She'll call me if she can.
-你说他们往东走了 -是啊! -You mentioned they went east? -That's right.
过了火烧峡后他们应会下191号公路 -They'll get off the 191 after Flaming Gorge
如果他们没走州际公路的话 if they ain't on the interstate.
那里有过一次油管漏油 There's been a big-rig spill...
伙伴们出发了 Here we go. Boys, to the car.
非常谢谢您! Thank you very, very much for your time, sir.
答应我你会杀掉那个鬼东西, 佐伊尔探员 Promise me you'll kill that thing, Mr. Zoil. Kill it for what it is.
我会尽力而为 We're gonna do our best.
-我直视它的眼睛 -mmmm -l've seen its eyes. -Mmm-hmm.
它是邪恶的 lt's evil.
上帝保佑你, 佐伊尔先生 Godspeed, Mr. Zoil.
前48小时是最重要的 First 48 are crucial.
长官, 你可以告诉我们到底在追什么吗? Sir, you mind telling us what we're looking for?
对啊, 我们在追什么? Yeah, what are we looking for?
我跟你们说过了. 你们没有必要知道 l told you this is a need-to-know operation.
知道长官. 不过... Yes, sir, but...
妈的 Damn it.
长官, 现在你应该告诉我们了吧! Sir, l think it's time you tell us.
你就做我要你做的事就好了, 海格. hey, just do what the fuck l tell you, Haggard.
现在我们去找那个疯老头的女儿, 免得来不及 Now let's go find that crazy old bastard's little girl before it's too late.
露丝 Ruth!
露丝, 等等 Ruth, wait!
不要理我 Leave me alone!
拜托, 停下来. 我有"胫骨应力综合症" Please, please, stop. l've got shin splints.
他不可能来自太空, 根本不可能 He cannot be from space! lt's not possible.
他一定从其他地方来的 He's from somewhere else.
露丝, 你自己亲眼见到了. 他让你看见的 Ruth, you saw it for yourself, okay? He showed you.
太空中有可能有好几十亿文明存在著 There's probably billions of intelligent civilizations out there.
那么我怎么没看到他们呢? So where is everybody? Hmm?
那不是有一个了吗! But one of them's there!
他们在看吗? 他们在看吗? Are they looking? Are they looking?
他们现在在看了吗? Are they looking right now?
对不起 Sorry.
你真是无药可救了... That's pathetic.
克利夫, 你在发什么牢骚啊? What's your beef, Clive?
我没有什么牢骚啊 l don't have a beef.
我是从外太空来的, 你是个科幻作家 l'm from outer space. You're a science-fiction writer.
我们应该成为麻吉的 We should be best buds.
不是你的问题 lt's not you.
问题在我 lt's me.
不会吧, 你在吃她的醋? ls that what this is? You're jealous? Of her?
不是那样 lt's not just that.
哇! Whoa.
你在吃我的醋 Of me?
你是因为我和葛莱姆很好 This is because me and Graeme
在你昏倒的时候, 我们亲热了两分钟在吃醋? got two minutes of face-time while you were sleeping?
-是因为这样喔? -我一直希望有一个很特别的经验 -ls that what this is? -l wanted this to be special, you know?
自从看过那出戏 "麦克和我"后（88年的科幻片） l have dreamt about meeting you
我就一直梦想遇见你这样的外星人 ever since l saw Mac and Me.
真的发生时, 我却搞砸了 And l blew it.
现在看你和他成为好友, 他又在那儿把妹 Now you two are friendly, and he's off talking to girls
我就好像觉得 "那我在哪儿?" and it's like, where am l?
得了吧夥计 Come on, man.
这蛮特别的啊 This is special.
你们俩那么呆宅又能遇到我, 这简直是命运的安排 You guys being all nerdy and shit and meeting me. That is fate.
谁在乎你是不是尿湿了你的裤子? Who cares if you pissed your pants, man?
刚到这的时候, 我第一次看到人类, 还吐了咧 When l first got here, first time l saw a human, l puked.
你们长的怪极了 You guys are weird looking.
大大的身体, 脑袋却那么小 You have giant bodies. You have tiny, little, tiny heads.
-你只是讲好听在安慰我罢了 -才不呢! -You're just being nice now. -No.
来来, 要不要来点甜头? Look, you want a little sugar?
只不过是一些知识和经验罢了 lt's just knowledge and experience, man.
你是个作家. 也许对你有些启发作用 You're a writer. Might give you some inspiration.
痛不痛? Will it hurt?
你抗拒才会 Only if you struggle.
那好吧! All right.
所以我一生所学所知的每件事 So, everything that l have been told my whole life
都只不过是一个漫天大谎 is just a big fat lie.
你知不知道我的感受? Do you know how that feels?
不要因为你所相信的真理不是真理就认为世界上没有真理 Just because your truth isn't a true truth doesn't mean that there is no truth, Ruth.
-你倒是说的容易 -那也不尽然 -That's easy for you to say. -lt's really not.
这么一来就是说没有天堂, 没有地狱, 也没有犯错, 没有原罪罗? So there's no heaven. No hell, no right, no wrong, no sin?
那么... Well...
-我可以喝酒吗? -如果你想喝的话 -l can drink? -lf you like.
-也可以与人通奸? -也许 -l can fornicate? -Maybe.
-我可骂脏话? -嗯, 可以 -l can curse? -Well, yeah.
-阴茎! -露丝 -Penises! -Ruth.
肛交, 毛毛奶, 放屁喷屎的肛门 Assing, hairy boobs, poop-farting buttholes!
露丝, 我不觉得你这么做有什么用? Ruth, l'm not sure this is helping.
你干什么? What are you doing?
-住手! -我干嘛住手 -Stop it! -Why? Why should l stop?
这不是... This is not...
因为你有一辈子来探索新的事物 Because you have your whole life to explore new things.
好吗? Okay?
并不代表你得现在在我身上来探索啊 lt doesn't necessarily mean you should be exploring mine right now.
你说你想要旅行, 要看看新的事物. 这会儿你的机会来了 You said you wanted to travel, to see new stuff? This is your chance.
我真的觉得你应该跟我们走 l really think you should come with us.
那我睡哪里? Where would l sleep?
我睡沙发, 你可以睡我的床 l'll sleep on the sofa. And then you can have my bed.
我感冒了, 你最好用支笔把我用过的一些纸巾给推开... But l'd push the tissues off with a pen, if l were you, because l've had a cold.
喔 Oh.
露丝决定跟我们一起走了 Ruth has decided that she would like to come with us.
诡异 Wicked.
我得整理一下仪容 l'm gonna go freshen up.
嘿, 露丝. 等一下 Hey, Ruth. Wait up.
你不吸烟吧 You don't smoke.
我只是想向你道谢 l just wanted to say thanks.
我知道这对你而言是很诡异的 l know this has been weird for you,
你救了我, 我欠你一次 but you saved my life and l owe you one, okay?
好 Okay.
你的眼珠怎么啦? 随便问问 What have you got there, by the way?
左眼窝因水肿造成严重的虹膜发炎(医科生请指教) Severe epiretinal membrane complicated by macular edema in your left vitreous cavity?
你怎会知道? How did you know that?
侥幸猜到的. Lucky guess.
你介意我让你看一下吗? Do you mind if l take a look at it for one second?
旧约圣经上说的"以眼还眼"是指什么? What does it say in the Old Testament? "An eye for an eye"?
-等..等 不 -没事的 你可以信任我 -Wait, l don't... -lt's okay. You can trust me.
-我不晓得该不该.... -给我一点信任好吗? -l don't know... -Just have a little faith, okay?
喔! Oh!
你怎么做到的? How did you do that?
进化啊, 宝贝 Evolution, baby.
-葛莱姆 -怎么啦 -Graeme? -Yeah?
喔, 我的老天, 克利夫 Oh, my God. Clive.
喔! 我的天 -Oh, my God.
接下来你怎么办, 快啊! 快下你的下一步 What are you going to do? Come on. Make your move.
喔!妈的. 搞屁啊! Oh, shit. Damn it.
你是我干过的最棒的尤物 ------老布希
嘿, 来瞧瞧! Hey, check it out! Check it out!
-Huh?
这简单得很! This is easy.
慢慢转方向盘就可以, 保罗. 小小的就可以了! Small corrections, Paul. Just make small corrections.
葛莱姆, 踩煞车 Graeme, hit the brakes!
嘿, 小睡猫, 可醒了! Hey, there, sleepy face!
"打炮王", 这可是我这辈子睡到奶都放屁最爽的一觉 Fuckeroo. That was the best titty-farting sleep l have ever had.
我认为你还是说脏话菜鸟耶, 露丝 l got a feeling that you're new to cursing, Ruth.
嗯, 骂脏话挺好的, 不过你的时机要对.ok? Look, cursing's fun. You just gotta pick your moments, okay?
也许咱们应该停下来吃点东西? 有人饿了吗? Maybe we should stop for some food. ls anybody hungry?
-干, 太好了 -露丝, 你饿吗? -Fuck, yeah! -Ruth?
你可以告诉你的大屌我真饿了! You bet your big, fat cock l am!
说得漂亮! Nice!
我好饿! l'm starving.
你还用说吗, 死胖子? What's new, fatty?
-我不是胖, 保罗. 我是壮 -很肥的壮 -lt's not fat, Paul, it's power. -Fat power.
-真是没礼貌 -你才没礼貌呢! -So rude. -You're rude.
也许我该给我爸打个电话 Maybe l should call my dad.
-说什么? -为什么要打电话? -What? -What? Why?
我已经出来一整天了 l've been gone for a whole day
如果他报了警, 他们现在肯定在找我了 and if he calls the police, they're gonna be looking for us.
如果我不打电话, 我们可能会被逮关到搞屁眼的牢里 lf l don't, there's a good chance we could all end up in Shit-Butt City.
你脏话越来越熟练了 You're really getting the hang of this.
谢了, 屌奶男! Thanks, dick milk.
星球大战4插曲
-要不了多久的 -好, 你自己要小心 -l won't be long. -Okay. Be careful.
-露丝.伯格斯? -我是 -Ruth Buggs? -Yes?
你仔细听著, 我要你跟我说你现在哪里 Listen to me carefully. l want you to tell me where you are.
你是谁? Who is this?
我是佐伊尔探员 My name is Agent Zoil,
这很重要, 快告诉我你在哪里 and it's very important that you tell me where you are
还有你们要往哪里去 and where you are headed, Ms. Buggs.
我不能告诉你 l can't tell you.
我是说, 我也不知道 l mean, l don't know.
你被绑架了 ou've been abducted.
那个绑架你的个体是个十分危险的人物 And the individual that you're traveling with is highly dangerous.
不, 不. 他一点也不危险 Oh, no, he's not dangerous.
只不过有点没礼貌. 老是说脏话而已 I mean, he's kind of rude, he curses a Iot,
还有几次, 我看到他搔他的太空蛋蛋 and a couple times l've seen him scratch his spaceman balls.
请听我说, 你爸爸很担心你 Please listen to me. Your father is extremely worried about you
我们要把你救回家, 伯格斯小姐 and we'd like to get you home, Ms. Buggs.
他让我看到一些事物 He showed me things.
她刚说有关他的太空蛋蛋 She's talking about his spaceman balls.
你知道我们是帮你的吧, 露丝? You know l'm just trying to help you, right, Ruth?
我已分不清什么是真什么是假了 l don't know what's real anymore. l'm confused.
-我们找到这贱人的位置了 -屌! 击个掌! -We got the bitch! -Yeah, dog! Up high!
妈的, 哈格! 伯格... Damn it, Haggard! Miss...
嘿! Hey.
哇, 慢著点, 宝贝儿. Whoa, slow down there, baby.
-对不起, 我得过去我朋友那儿 -是吗! -Excuse me, l have to get to my friends. -Oh.
我胯下也有个朋友想认识你 l got a friend down here that would love to meet you.
我也是 Me, too.
尽管我蛮想看看你们的阴茎的 Well, as much as l would like to meet your penises,
但我在赶时间, 所以不好意思, 让个路 l'm in a hurry, so excuse me.
不, 这花不了多少时间的 Now, this won't take long, sugar.
对, 不花多少时间的 Nope. Won't take long at all.
好吧! 既然你们都这么的浪漫, 那也许我就.. Well, since you're both being so romantic, maybe l could
很快的跟他们打个招呼吧! give it just a quick hello.
靠, 你他妈的! -What the fuck? Shit!
来来, 你为何要... Now, why would you even...
喔!我的蛋蛋! Ow! My balls!
-嘿! -嘿, 你爸还好吧? -Hey. -Hey, how's your dad?
-我们得走了 -我们点了迷你比萨怎么办? -We gotta go. -What about the mini pizzas?
-我们真得走了啦 -不, 你别想走 -We gotta go now! -No, you don't!
我的天老爷! Holy shit!
是那两个开gay露营车的太空gay男耶!!! lt's the space faggots that dinged the fuck-mobile!
-对, 我们就要走了 -我不太舒服 -Yeah. We were just leaving. -l don't feel well.
-我不认为如此 -不要碰她! -l don't think so. -Leave her alone!
靠! 水兵! Oh, shit! Sailors!
-快走了啦! -对不起! -Let's go. -Sorry!
小姐, 抱歉! Excuse me, miss.
爸? Papa?
露丝, 我的主啊! 你的眼睛! Ruth? My Lord! Your eye!
-快走了 -那我爸呢? -Let's go! -What about my dad?
走了, 走了! Let's go, boy!
你们往哪儿走, 女士们? Where you going, girls?
别来惹我们, 屄男! Leave us alone, you stupid vaginas!
这可不是一个淑女该说的话哦!! That's no way for a pretty little thing like you to talk!
老实说, 她才刚刚开始学说脏话而已. She's fairly new to it, to be honest.
让我来搞定. 我跟他们谈. Leave this to me. l'll talk to them.
呦, 鸡歪人! Yo, fucknuts!
"探肛"时候到了! lt's probing time.
喔. Oh.
哈!我们当中只有一个昏倒 Ha! Only one of us fainted.
喔, 妈的! 条子来了! 快闪吧! Oh, shit! The five-O! Let's bounce.
对不起! 他们追踪了电话 l'm sorry. They answered the phone.
他们知道我们几个 They knew about us.
进来露营车 Get in the RV.
-快一点, 他们快醒了 -快啊! -Come on, they're going to wake up! -Hurry!
对不起! Sorry!
好, 现在我们必须离开大路 Okay. We need to get off the road.
-我们现在不是应该开远点吗? -不 -Shouldn't we keep moving? -No.
他们一定以为我们会这样做 That is exactly what they'll expect us to do.
相信我. 只有笨蛋现在会停下来不动 Trust me. Only an idiot would stop right now.
-对, 就在这里停车. 真完美 -什么, 保罗? -Yeah, pull in here. Perfect. -What? Paul.
我们是笨蛋啊, 记得不? We're idiots, remember?
那我们现在做什么呢? What should we do now?
来一杯热巧克力后上床睡觉怎么样? How about a hot chocolate and bed?
你是我祖母吗? What are you, my grandma?
喔, 我睡不著. 我太high了 Oh, l couldn't sleep. l'm too pumped.
嗯, 我也是. 咱们弄点啤酒来. 找个地方消消火. Yeah, me, too. Let's get some beers. Find somewhere to chill.
你意下如何啊? What do you say?
万一被人看到怎么办? What if someone sees you?
外面又没人, 况且我还有这招 lt's dead out there. And l can do this.
好的, 算我一份 Okay. l'm in.
-洛基? -好啊! -Rocky -Sure.
牛螺呢? Bullwinkle?
我有点累了 l'm a little bit tired.
别那么孬好吗! Don't be a pussy.
别说我孬... Don't call me a...
好吧! All right.
放开你的脏手 Just get your hands off me!
警长? Hoss?
需要我效劳吗? Something l can help you with?
有啊, 可不可告诉我发生了什么事? Yeah. You mind telling me what happened here?
没什么, 只不是老套的酒吧大乱斗罢了 Just a good old-fashioned beer-soaked slobberknocker.
有什么不寻常的事吗? See anything unusual?
囚车里有两个乡巴佬型的男子一直哭个不停 A couple hillbilly types in the back of that meat wagon won't stop crying.
你们两位今晚有碰见什么不寻常的东西吗? Have you gentlemen seen anything unusual this evening?
-Uh-uh.
确定吗? Are we sure?
Mmm-hmm.
-谢谢你 -没事儿 -Thank you. -No sweat.
-这个橱窗设计的不错 -那是小牛仔, 是吧? -lt's a nice window. -lt's a little cowboy, isn't it?
很搞笑吧 That's funny.
我跟你说什么搞笑好了. 昨天你亲我时 l'll tell you what else is funny, was when you kissed me yesterday.
-对不起 -不, 只不是... -Sorry. -No. lt's not...
我好像是在说, "滚开, 你这个强暴犯." l was like, "Get off me, you rapist."
-再做一次, 如果你想要的话 -什么? -Do it again, if you like. -What?
我说如果你想要的话, 再做一次 l said you can do it again, if you like.
真的? Really?
如果你要试看看, 不妨找个朋友来练习 lf you're gonna try it, then maybe you should do it with a friend,
总比找个陌生人来的好 rather than someone like a stranger
再说外边有很多变态呢 because there's a lot of weirdos out there.
我正有意做一些接吻和与人私通的事 l am planning on doing a lot of kissing and fornicating
所以你可能是在帮我忙 so you'd really be helping me out.
-好极了 -好啊 -Great. -Okay.
-现在吗? -不, 我还以为你的意思是... -What, now? -No, l thought you meant...
对, 我是这意思. 现在来吧! No, l did. Let's do it now.
-我是?.... -是, 好啊 -l mean... -Yeah, all right.
把我的手放在你身上 Put my hands on you.
就站在那儿? 好的 Just stand here? Okay.
别乱动 Hold you steady.
干! Fuck!
我很抱歉. 我以为我要昏倒了! l'm sorry. l thought l was gonna pass out. (EXHALES)
继续啊 Carry on.
-发生什么事? -没, 不就到处看看吗! -What's happening? -Nothing, just hanging around.
他们刚差点就亲热起来, 超怪异的 They were about to make out. lt was awkward.
我们刚只是... We were just...
好的. 保罗, 裤子穿上吧! Good. Please put your shorts on, Paul.
要吸看看吗? You guys partake?
不, 敬谢不敏 No, thank you.
我要吸看看 l'll partake.
你确定吗? 这蛮强的喔 Are you sure? lt's pretty strong shit.
这是我从军方那里取得的. 就这东西杀了鲍伯.狄伦(伟大的民谣歌手)的 l got it from the military, actually. This is the stuff that killed Dylan.
鲍伯.狄伦并没死啊 Bob Dylan's not dead.
没死吗? lsn't he?
拿过来啊 Hit me.
好的. 慢慢的吸一口 Okay. Just go easy on it.
露丝 Ruth.
小小的一口就好 Just a little bit. Little bit.
还好嘛! lt's not so bad.
药效还没开始呢 To be fair, it takes a while to be absorbed into...
喔!糟了! Oh, shit.
我饿了, 我们应该来烤香肠 l'm hungry. We should cook up some sausages.
-我们有香肠吗? -uh -Do we have any sausages? -Uh...
-你那是什么意思? -不 -What do you mean by that? -No.
你们为什么讨厌我? 我们可以烤香肠吗? Why do you guys hate me? Can we cook up some sausages?
我脑袋里好像有黄蜂耶 Ooh, l have wasps in my brain!
她没事的. 我第一次吸也是这样 She'll be fine. That happened to me the first time.
保罗 Paul.
我一直想问你,.现在我们都熟了. l was wanting to ask. You know us now, right?
没错, 葛莱姆. 我们可是麻吉 Yeah. Graeme, we're bona fide BFFs.
为什么你现在急著回家? Why are you in such a hurry to leave now?
嗯, 根据政府的说法, 我已经完成了我的用途了 Well, according to the government, l've fulfilled my usefulness.
我教了他们我所知道的事物 l told them everything l know.
现在我能贡献只剩下我个人的能力 The only thing l have left to offer them now are my abilities.
像 治愈能力, 思想传送, 隐形 The healing, the thought transfer, the camouflage.
如果要培养这些能力, 他们需取得我的干细胞 ln order to cultivate those abilities, they need some of my stem cells.
我没打算给他们 And l'm not really down with that.
幸运的是 我在裏面有个朋友. Lucky for me, l do have one friend left on the inside.
所以, 我找到办法把我的求救信号送进了太空 So, l managed to get an SOS beamed into space.
我让他们知道我在这里并且要来接我 l got my people primed and ready to pick me up.
但那群婊子养的把日程往前提了一天 ... Then, motherfuckers brought the procedure forward by a day,
我的逃走计划全泡汤成了狗屎 my whole plan goes to shit.
然后呢? What happened?
在到实验室的路上, 我电晕守卫, 抢了他的车, 溜了出来 On the way to the mental labs, l zapped my escort, l stole his car, l took off.
然后遇到你们 Found you guys.
如果你被捉到会怎样? So what happens if you get caught?
葛莱姆, 他们会切开我的脑袋 Graeme, they're gonna cut out my brain.
喔. Oh.
没错, 真的太惨了 Yeah. lt's fucked.
真他妈扫兴的很 lt's kind of a buzz-kill.
改变个话题. 克利夫, 你上次与女人上床是什么时候的事? Let's lighten the mood, shall we? Clive, when did you last get laid?
喔, mm Oh. Mmm.
-收集狂大会, 伦敦, 2008 -08年 -Collectormania, London, '08. -'08.
一个扮Ewok的女人 (Ewok是星际大战里一种像泰迪熊的物种) Ewok chick.（依沃克妓女）
克利夫爱搞太空熊女 Clive likes boning space bears! (LAUGHlNG)
住嘴啦! Shut up.
说真的, 不能骗人喔 No, but seriously, be honest with me.
感受如何? What was it like?
嗯, 她 "毛"的可爱 Well, she was furry nice.
好呕心喔! 太呕了啦! That's disgusting! That's gross.
嘿, 克利夫 Hey, Clive.
不, 布玛, 不可以这样做 No, Boomer, it's forbidden. （boomer是求生之路中的变异人类）
嘿, 克利夫 Hey, Clive.
-嘿! -醒醒, 克利夫 -Hey! -Clive!
兄弟, 走了吧! 我们得离开这里 Let's go, guys! We gotta get out of here!
露丝到哪儿去了? Where's Ruth?
她回去车上了 She went back to the RV.
当然了 Of course!
他会读心术 He can read minds.
走吧! Come on.
兄弟, 我想我们有个小问题 Guys, l think we have a slight problem over here.
糟了! Oh, man.
我不可能从头到尾都憋气穿越整个镇上 l can't hold my breath the whole way through town.
在这里等著 Wait here.
等等! What? Wait!
早安, 我是佐伊尔探员. 密情局的 Good morning. Agent Zoil, Secret Service.
我可不可以进来问你几个问题? You mind if l come in there and ask a few questions?
可以啊 Not at all.
早安! Morning.
-我们干嘛手牵手? -这样才像一家人啊? -Why are we holding hands? -So we look like a family.
是了, 我们是 Friendmans 一家人 Yeah, the fucking Friedmans.
你就当做是个侏儒好了 You could be a midget.
-你好像对侏儒很依恋哦 -我才没有 -You're obsessed with midgets! -No, l'm not!
别闹了! 正常点 Stop it! Just act normal.
我们只是正常的两个大男人带一个小牛仔在逛大街 We're just a couple of regular guys walking down the street with a small cowboy.
没错吧, 克利夫? All right, Clive?
克利夫? Clive?
-克利夫 -拜托! -Clive. -PAUL: Oh, come on!
武士刀 249.99美金
克利夫, 你在干嘛? Clive, what are you doing?
对啊, 你在搞什么飞机? Yeah, man, what the fuck?
我想要它 l want it.
我了解它的价格很低, 不过这可不是动漫展, 这是真实世界 l can appreciate it's a bargain, but this is not Comic-Con now. This is reality.
再说便宜没好货. 我敢说你第一次使用它时就会断了,走吧! lt's false economy anyway, it'll break the first time you use it. Let's go!
-我怎么会用他? -走了啦, 拜托? -Why would l ever use it? -Can we just go, please?
等等, 也许我们应该进去 Wait. Maybe we should go inside.
-说什么? -我们就躲在这里 What? - We'll hide out.
你回去找露丝, 然后上露营车, 10分钟后来接我们 You go back and get Ruth. Get the RV, pick us up in 10 minutes.
你确定? You sure?
相信我 Trust me.
早安, 我是佐伊尔探员. 密情局的 Good morning. My name is Agent Zoil, Secret Service.
我可不可以进去问你几个问题? Mind if l come in, ask you a few questions?
可不可以就在这里问就好了? Do you mind if we just do it right here?
可以 Okay.
这地方真他妈的乱 This place is a real cock-sucking mess.
了解 Got it.
我跟你说明白了, 我们是在追缉他妈的外星人 l'm telling you, we're looking for a goddamn alien.
我认为整个"蓝皮书计划"根本是个幌子 l thought all that Project Blue Book stuff was horseshit.
对, 这么一来就说的通了 No, it all makes sense.
他要我们只听令不可发问 All this hush-hush crap?
-还有我发现那张素描 -嗯嗯 -The drawing that l found? -Mmm-hmm.
你以为那个女孩昨晚在说什么? What do you think that girl was talking about last night?
天啊! 太空蛋蛋! Holy shit! Spaceman balls!
没错, 那么谁才有太空蛋蛋啊? Yeah. And who has spaceman balls?
-Buzz Aldrin(美国退休的太空人) -正经点 -Buzz Aldrin? -Be serious.
("遭遇指南") 嗨, 帅哥! Hello, handsome.
封面上的真的是你吗? ls that you?
uh? huh? Uh, huh?
那个封面人物是不是就是你? ls that you on the cover?
不是 No.
-你叫什么名字? -基斯.奈许 -What's your name? -Keith Nash.
-很高兴认识你.我叫保罗 -跟真的一样 -Nice to meet you. l'm Paul. -Right.
你居然没有被我吓到? So, you're not freaked out by me?
-嗯. 说有也有,说没有也没有 -什么! -Hmm. Yes and no. -Huh.
麻烦你看看这些相片 You mind taking a look at these photographs?
这两个男的或这个独眼女, 你见过他们吗? Tell me if you recognize either one of these two gentlemen or the one-eyed girl?
-女士? -没见过 -Ma'am? -No.
一点印象都没吗? Anything? Anything at all?
没 Mmm-mmm.
-你真的认为是外星人? -当然 -You really think this is an alien? -Yeah!
-这可是一件大事!大事! -我知道! -This is huge! This is huge! -l know! l know!
那是漫画店吗? ls that a comic book shop?
我们可以进去看看吗? Can we go in there?
也许. 那要看你乖不乖 Maybe. lf you're good.
你从哪里来的? Where are you coming from?
奥斯丁 Austin.
-好地方 -没错, 就是蝙蝠多了点 -Good town. -Yeah, it is. They have a lot of bats.
对不起? 你刚说了什么? Sorry? What'd you say?
没什么 Mmm-mmm.
好的, 耽误了你的时间了... Okay. Thanks for your time, Mrs...
达尔文 Darwin.
夏.. 洛特.达尔文 (跟查尔斯发音很接近) Charlotte Darwin.
夏洛特.达尔文. 祝你今天愉快 Charlotte Darwin. You have a great day.
你绝对不敢相信我的遭遇 You are not gonna believe this.
你应该买的 You should get this one.
-谢谢 -是的, 真不错 -Thanks. -Yeah, it's good.
不错!我喜欢你风格. 基斯.奈许 Nice! l like your style, Keith Nash.
-我得走了 -后会有期 -l gotta go. -Catch you later.
再见, 保罗 Bye, Paul.
别被逮了 Don't get caught.
一路顺风! Happy trails.
Eh? Eh?
huh! Huh!
不错! 不错嘛! Pretty good. Pretty good.
那个多少钱? How much is that?
加上刀, 共299.99美金 含税 With the sword, $299.99 plus tax.
好, 我现在就要戴上它 Yeah, l'll wear it now.
快点, 伙计. 咱们得走了 Come on, man, let's go!
马上就出了 l'll be right out.
早知就应该戴上手脕通讯器那种玩意的 Should have used the cufflink thing.
太空蛋蛋(让我瞧瞧有没有)? Spaceman balls?
别把你的脏手放在我的蛋蛋上! Get your goddamn hands off my motherfucking junk!
它躲在这里! 它躲在这里! lt's in there! lt's in there!
哈猡 Hello.
奥赖利! O'Reilly!
你这个死白痴. 那只个混蛋戴了个面具 You dumb shit, that's just some asshole in a mask.
圣母玛丽亚, 我的天母啊! Holy Mary, Mother of God!
我真得戒烟了 l gotta quit smoking.
走了啦! -Let's go!
对不起, 女士 Sorry, ma'am!
-妈的! -别让...在我后面! -Shit! -Don't let... Behind me!
快点, 大屁股! Hurry up, buttcracks!
看, 是那个书呆子. Look, it's that nerd.
喔! Oh!
喔, 好耶! Oh, yeah!
-那个小鬼是谁啊? -基斯.奈许 -Who was that kid? -Keith Nash!
油门踩下去! Punch it!
发生了什么事? 那小鬼是谁? l don't know what happened! Who is that kid?
-快发动车子 -好! -Get the car started! -Yes, sir!
哇, 出了什么事? 你们找到任何线索了吗? Whoa, whoa. What's going on? Did you guys get me some information?
我们看到它了, 我们见到了那个外星人 We saw it. We saw the alien.
它在漫画书店. 它好邪恶. 我想我吓出一裤子大便! lt was in the comic book shop. lt's hideous! l think l shit my pants.
你们说什么我完全听不懂 l don't know what you guys are talking about.
你知道吗? You know what?
你完全知道我们在说什么 You know exactly what we're talking about.
我对你不跟我们说明白感到非常的不爽 l'm sick and tired of being in the dark on this...
它往哪里跑了? Where the fuck did he go?
让我替你开门 l got your door for you.
我自己来就好了 l got mine.
他跟那些书呆子走了 He went with those nerds.
你要和我们一起去吗? So, you want to follow us, big guy?
-你们两个小孩立刻回基地 -嗯 -You kids are gonna go back to the base. -Uh-huh.
让老子留下来看看, 做点大人们的事 Daddy's gonna stick behind, do a little adult work.
现在跟我说那个小绿人往哪儿去了? Now, tell me which way the little green guy went.
东北公路 -North East highway. -North East highway.
直接回基地 Straight home, now.
对不起! 那是我老爸! Sorry, guys. lt's my dad!
这家伙打死不退. 还蛮令人敬佩的 This guy doesn't quit. You kind of have to respect it.
-喔, 天啊! 葛莱姆, 开快点 -走开!爸! -Oh, God, Graeme, drive faster. -Go away, Dad!
-冷静点 -那些浑球会赶上我们的 -Guys, calm down. -Those asshorns are gonna catch us!
我说, 冷静! 停车! l said, calm down! Pull over!
-干什么要停车? -停车! -What do you mean, pull over? -Pull over!
好了, 就这儿了 All right. That's it.
太危险了. 从这里我可以自己行动了 This is too dangerous. l can make it on my own from here.
-你在说些什么? -不, 葛莱姆, 你为我做够多了 -What do you mean? -No. Graeme, you've done enough.
我可偷辆车或开自排的 l'll boost a car or something. l can drive an automatic.
你是个很糟糕的驾驶 You're a terrible driver!
他说得没错, 你连自己的太空船都开不好 He's right, Paul. You can't even drive a spaceship.
我已经很近会合点了. 我没问题的 l'm close now. l'll be fine.
但我们都陪你走到这里了 But we've come all this way.
是啊!但付出了多少代价? Yeah, and at what cost, huh?
我毁了你的信仰, 差点害死你们 I've shaken your faith. l've almost gotten you guys killed!
我只不过想回家 l just want to get home.
你会回到家的. 我们不会让你一个人走最后这段路的 You are going home. l think we've come too far to let you do this alone.
对啊!你不是说我们是好友吗? 我是一伙的,保罗 Yeah. What happened to BFFs? We are in this together, Paul.
你可以根你的"毛蛋"说我们就是! You bet your hairy love eggs we are.
过去的72小时是我一生最棒的旅程 The last 72 hours have been the ride of my life
我现在如果下车就是龟儿子养的 and l'm fucked if l'm getting off this bus now!
-我也是 -算我一份 -Yeah, me, too. -And me.
好吧!就这么办了 Well, that settles it.
我们都惨了! We're all fucked.
非常感谢你们 Thank you guys so much.
如果你们真的要这么做. 有件事你们可以帮我 lf you're absolutely sure, there is a little something you can do for me.
烟火城
-这个怎样? -太小了 -What about this one? -No, too small.
五种花色!
-是吗? -是的, 太小了 -Really? -Yeah, too small.
-这还蛮合适的 -嗯 -Seems rather fitting. -Mmm.
-你看不难啊, 不是吗? -一点都不难 -That wasn't difficult, was it? -No. Not at all.
-哈罗 -哈罗 -Hello. -Hello.
共 299,99美元含税 That'll be $299.99, plus tax.
跟我那把刀同价格 -Same as the sword.
-看!他们跑过来了 -妈的 Look. They're running. RUTH: Holy shit!
-开门 -妈的, 你会开吗? -Get the door. -Oh, shit. Can you drive this thing?
我一辈子都在开这玩意儿 l've been driving these things my whole life.
快啊!快进来! Come on! Get in, get in.
美极了! Graceful.
佐伊尔, 刚从警用的911无线电收到一个讯息 Zoil. Picked up a 9-1-1 outside of Prospect.
两个开露营车的英国傻子刚抢了一家烟火店. A fireworks store just got ripped off by two British nerds in an RV.
婊子养的 ! Son of a bitch!
根据讯息, 他们上14号公路, 大约在你西方40英哩处 According to local bacon, they're on the 14, 40 miles west of you.
开快点, 三十分钟那就可以赶上他们 Drive Iike a man, you'll catch up to them in 30.
警察被我挡下来, 你最好快点 Cops are standing down. You better spin your ass around!
知道了 Roger that!
别让我自己亲自出马 Don't make me come out there.
我今晚是州长的特别来宾 l'm guest of honor at the governor's ball tonight
而且我穿的美美的 and l'm dressed up real nice.
14号公路通往哪里? Where the hell does this 14 go, anyway?
我哪知 You tell me.
沿路有 "瑟摩波利斯"(地名), 有 "利多河" You got Thermopolis, you got Lytle Creek.
老天!穆尔克罗夫特就在14号公路上(保罗的坠机地) Holy shit! Moorcroft's on the 14.
你不会认为.. You don't think...
婊子养的小王八蛋想回家了 Son of a bitch is going back.
他得先跟他们取得联系. 这下我们可逮到他了 He's gonna try and make contact. We got him, Zoil.
把我太空猴子抓回来 Bring me back my space monkey
我会给最高第五等的身份和所有好货 and l guarantee you level 5 clearance and all the perks.
没问题! 好一点的停车位会更好 Great. Better parking space would be good.
我不晓得耶..他好像很生气 l don't know, man. l don't know. He looked awful mad.
去他的! 他已经落伍了. 是引进我们这种新血的时候了 Fuck him. He's a dinosaur. lt's time for some new blood.
我们就快到了 Okay. We're nearly there.
这是我们要去的地方? This is where we've been headed?
不是, 我还有一点事要先做 No. l just need to make a little stop first, okay?
你真的任为我们还有时间做别的事? Do you think we've really got time to be making little stops?
我真的必需先做这个 This is something l really have to do.
好了, 就停这里. 这里够近了 Okay, stop here. This is good. This is close enough.
应该再近一点的吧?! Shouldn't we park a bit closer?
不, 不要吓著她了 No. We don't want to scare her.
吓著谁? Scare who?
-你来敲门 -你敲 -You knock. -You knock.
怎么老是我敲门 l always knock.
是谁啊? Who's there?
你是泰拉.华尔顿吗? ls that Tara Walton?
别来烦我 Leave me alone.
华尔顿女士, 我的名字叫克利夫.戈林 Ms. Walton, my name is Clive Gollings.
我和我的朋友葛莱姆.威利一起 l'm here with my friend, Mr. Graeme Willy.
那你要干嘛? And what do you want?
我们和那位在60年前压死你的小狗的外星人在一起 We're here with the alien that killed your dog 60 years ago.
走了啦, 走了啦! Let's go. Let's just go.
你们在搞什么? 开我玩笑吗? What is this? Some kind of a joke?
嘿, 泰拉 Hey, Tara.
你 You!
你的钟蛮大声的 That's a very loud clock, isn't it?
过了这么多年你还有脸到我这里来 You have a nerve showing your face here after all these years.
也许我应该泡点茶 Maybe l should make some tea.
我来泡 l'll do it.
好吧! Okay.
泰拉 Look, Tara.
我才刚开始把你完全忘掉 l only just stopped believing in you, you know.
长久以来我一直要说服别人那晚发生的事 l spent a very long time trying to convince folks about what happened that night.
每个人都说我疯了 Everyone said l was mad!
他们告诉我是小陨石砸死了小保罗 They told me it was a meteor that squashed little Paul.
他们把我带走, 在我身上做测试 They took me away and they did tests.
他们说是要测宇宙射线 They said it was for cosmic radiation.
他们还说我脑袋迷糊了 有幻觉 That l was concussed, hallucinating.
但我知道你是真的存在的 But l knew you were real!
我从那台太空船把你拖出来 l pulled you from that spaceship myself.
我抱著你让你温暖和舒适 l kept you warm and comfortable.
我一直抱著你直到他们把你带走 l sat there with you till the men came to take you away.
爸爸想要了解我 Pop tried to understand,
不过他也只能安慰我, 说著 "好了没事了, 泰拉" but he would just smile and say, "There there, Tara."
当别人听说了我的事后 When word got out about my story,
孩子们来我家丢石头, 辱骂我 kids used to come and throw stones at the house, call me names.
最后我只好自我封闭起来 And l just hid myself away.
我有时整夜不睡觉, 看著天上 l'd spend whole nights up there, just staring at the sky,
希望能找到你的一点踪迹 hoping that l'd catch a glimpse of you.
现在你出现了 And here you are.
对不起! 如果我能重来一次, 我... l'm sorry. lf l could have done it any other way, l...
没关系的 Oh, it's okay.
你是真的 You're real.
这就够了 That's all that matters.
-我是对的 -mm -l was right. -Mmm-hmm.
他们居然说我是个疯子 And all those folks that said l was crazy?
他们都可以喝老娘的洗脚水 They can all just go fuck themselves.
我带来个东西要还给你 l brought something for you. l thought you might want it back.
这就是了 Here you go.
喔, 谢谢 Oh, thank you.
会是谁在敲门? Who do you suppose that is?
-那东西是从哪里来的 ? -妈的, 是他们 -CLlVE: Where did that come from? -Holy shit! lt's them!
我从前面进 l'll take the front!
你他妈的来这里干嘛? What the fuck are you doing here?
走! 走! Go! Go!
海格! Haggard!
外星人! Alien!
妈的! 海格! 人到底在哪里? Shit! Haggard! Where's the party, man?
这里根本没人. 兄弟, 提示一下 There's no one in this place! Come on, buddy, help me out.
喔, 干! Oh, fuck!
不许动, 王八蛋! Freeze, motherfucker!
我好虚弱 So weak.
交出那个外星人 Give me the alien!
把那个浑蛋外星人交给我 Give me the fucking alien!
-我不交 -喔! 干! 你小心点! -No! -Ow! Fuck. Watch it.
把那个外星人交给我 Give me the alien!
你自己不会去找一个 Get your own alien.
谢了, 克利夫. 泰拉有跟过来吗? Thank you, Clive! ls Tara with us?
泰拉! 跟我们一起走 Tara! Come this way! Follow us!
喔! 男蛋蛋! 是我老爸 Oh, man-balls! lt's my dad!
你还好吗? 我会不会太重? Are you okay? Am l heavy?
早跟你说了. 我不是肥, 我是壮 l told you, it's not fat, it's power!
这下好了 Oh, great.
早叫你把车停近一点的 l told you we should've parked closer!
停下来, 他们是我的 Holster that. They're mine!
-那只是个警告 -你这个疯子 -Consider that a warning! -You crazy bastard!
我可逮住你了, 你这个太空小怪物 l got you, you little space freak!
露丝! 快回到这儿来 Ruth! Get back here!
你回家吧! Just go home!
-喔, 我堵到你了, 小王八蛋 -Oh, l got you, sucker. Coming.
差不多了 Ready or not.
我操! Holy fuck.
-爸爸 -露丝, 等等 -Papa! -Ruth, wait!
爸! 爸! Papa! Papa!
-喔! -Oh!
没事, 他还活著, 他没事 lt's okay, he's alive. He's okay!
-克利夫, 走了, 快! -等一下! -Go, Clive, go! -Wait for me!
你还好吧? You okay?
-我很好, 谢谢 -在这儿等一下 -Thank you. l'm okay. -Wait there.
葛莱姆! Graeme!
露丝, 开车 Ruth! Drive!
加油, 葛莱姆! Come on, Graeme!
别抛下我 Don't leave me!
永远不会 Never.
葛莱姆, 你可把我吓死了 Graeme, you scared the shit out of me.
露丝, 你为什么没有在开车啊? Ruth, why aren't you driving?
不跟你说过, 开车很容易 l told you. lt's easy!
知道了! 没事! 没事! 干! 干! 干! 路! 没事 Got it. Got it. Got it. Shit. Shit. Shit. Road! Okay.
小小的修正就好! 小小的就好. Small corrections! Small corrections!
喔! 我的大麻! Oh, my weed!
乱伦吸奶有两个蛋蛋的大贱人! Motherfucking titty-sucking two-balled bitch!
佐伊尔, 进程报告 Zoil, progress report.
我是海格, 长官. 佐伊尔探员已不再负责这个案子了 This is Haggard, sir. Agent Zoil is no longer in command.
谁负责都无所谓, 那些逃犯在哪? l don't give a shit who's in command. Where the fuck are they?
就在我前面, 往东向利多河方向 Just ahead of me, heading east towards Lytle Creek.
没杀掉那个外星人之前不要给我回话, 听到了吗? l don't wanna hear from anybody until that cocksucker is dead! Get me?
是, 长官 Yes, sir.
女士 Ma'am.
他妈的! God damn it!
这是政府的公事 This is official government business!
立刻停止追逐, 否则我就要使用武力 Stand down, or l am authorized to use deadly force.
那个东西捉了我女儿 That thing has my daughter!
这不是你的任务 This isn't your mission!
这是上帝给我的任务 l'm on a mission from God!
跟他说你搞砸了 Tell him you failed.
喔! Oh!
妈的! 他们追上来 Shit! We got company.
他要超过我们了 He's trying to overtake us!
-不要让他超过! -要我冲撞他吗? -Don't let him get past! -Should l ram him?
-那押金怎么办? -去他妈的押金 -What about the deposit? -Fuck the deposit.
你疯了! You're crazy!
Lytle Creek国家公园 禁止停车
干! Fuck.
喔! 干! 来啊! Oh, fuck! Come on!
笑一个, 你这个狗娘养的! Smile, you son of a bitch!
开车眼睛要往前看, 屁眼男! Eyes forward, butthorn.
你觉得他会没事吗? Do you think he'll be okay?
会的, 他会没事的 Yeah, he'll be fine.
Mmm.
-海格 -佐伊尔 -Haggard. -Zoil.
另外那两个人? Where are the other two?
一个开车爆掉了, 另一个就直接爆掉了! One crashed and burned, the otherjust burned.
老天! 真是坏事连环爆 Jesus Christ! This has been one fuck-up after another.
我应该亲自处理的 l should have handled this myself.
我已经快接近他们了. 你再给我一小时 l am very close. You give me one hour.
一个小时? 我一个小时就得和州长一起吃鱼子酱脆饼了 An hour? l'll be eating canapes with the governor in an hour.
我要你立刻搞定它 l need this wrapped up now!
不,不, 他们是我的. 妈的! 我要一次就搞定它 No, no. They're mine, damn it. l'm gonna finish this, once and for all.
太迟了, 佐伊尔. 我会拿出我的大枪 Too late, Zoil. l'm bringing in the big guns.
反正话不投机! Boring conversation anyway.
永别了好友! 你是一匹忠心不贰的良驹 Fare thee well, my friend. You were a faithful and mighty steed.
我不敢相信她就这么废了 l can't believe she's gone.
好可惜不是吗! Ain't that a bag of tits.
接下来咱们做什么? Oh, what'll we do now, Paul?
保罗? Paul?
保罗, 你要去哪里? Paul, where are you going?
你看! 不是跟你说过了吗? See? What did l tell you, fellas?
你到了你就知道了 -You'd know it when you saw it. -(电影第三类接触 外星人与地球人接触的地点)
喔 Oh.
想当然尔! Of course.
-好快点烟火吧 -Ah! Right. Shoots flaming balls. Whoo! -Whoo!
-你直接点燃这个烟火好不好? -保罗, 烟火不是玩具耶? -Can you just light the fucking thing? -Fireworks are not toys, Paul.
-建议的安全距离多少? -我看看 -What is the suggested safe distance? -Right.
-500英尺 -那就差不多到树林边缘那儿 -500 feet. -That's going to put us behind the tree line.
-我们就不能完全欣赏到它的效果了 -没错 -We're not gonna enjoy the full effect. -That's true, actually.
嘿! 搞什么.... Hey, what the...
喔! 现在你可以跑了喔? Oh! Now you're running, huh?
一点都不好笑. 很危险的 That's not funny. That's dangerous.
接下来做什么? What now?
我们等 We wait.
好吧! Yes.
-真神奇. -谢谢 -That's amazing. -RUTH: Thank you.
-不错嘛! -Not bad.
这是第三次你做这事儿了 That's three times you've done that now.
我从没遇过任何人... l never met anyone...
不...不成... Oh, no, you don't.
等等.. Wait a minute.
不许动, 你这个绿色的浑蛋 Stay where you are, you little green bastard!
是"老大哥"来了 lt's the Big Guy.
嗯, 真想不到 Well, what do you know?
这世界可真小! Small world.
-保罗! -佐伊尔? -Paul! -Zoil?
Huh?
他妈的不许动 Don't fucking move!
好了, 每一个人都乖乖的不要动 Okay, everyone be cool. Everyone just be cool.
我得告诉你, 佐伊尔探员. 你伤了我的感情. l gotta say, l'm a little hurt, Agent Zoil.
他可是我老婆的介绍人. 他是我的朋友 He introduced me to my wife. He's my friend.
你这个傻B, 在过15年, 你就可坐上我的位子了 You stupid son of a bitch. You could've been where l am in 15 years.
-我才不要变成像你这样的人 -那就太遗憾了 -l don't want to be where you are. -Too bad,
看看我手中的握住的王牌了吗! seeing as how l'm the one holding all the cards.
而我所谓的"王牌" 就是我手中的 And when l say "cards," l of course mean
这把大枪 big fucking gun.
很大的枪 Very big gun.
-走吧, 莫克 -别叫我, 莫克 -Let's go, Mork. -Don't call me Mork.
-不! -你们不需要这样做的 -No. -Guys, you don't have to do this.
不, 他哪儿也不去 No, he's going nowhere.
是吗, 书呆子们! Can it, nerds.
妈的, 要不是我想到你们将会被关在关达那摩湾 Shit, l'd shoot you now if l didn't get off on the idea
被凌虐的跟龟儿子一样, 我就一枪毙你们 of your being hog-tied and pissed on in Guantanamo Bay.
关达那摩湾监狱已经被关闭了! They've shut Guantanamo Bay.
是吗? Did they?
面对现实吧 Be honest with yourselves.
事到如今你还有什么本领可以使出来? What do you think you can possibly bring to the table at this point in the game?
盲剑客（89年的电影） Blind fury.
喔! Oh.
便宜没好货, 我早说过 False economy. l told you.
滚到一边去, 死gay! Step aside, fag.
(克来贡语)
喔!老兄! Oh! Dude!
疯子! lnsane!
喔! Oh!
奥! Ow!
-露丝 -放开她, 你这个贱人! -Ruth! -Get away from her, you bitch!
喔! Ow!
佐伊尔, 你还好吗? Zoil, you okay, man?
-我们的计画有的废耶? -说得没错 -So much for the plan, huh? -l know, right?
抱歉, 在农庄那儿把你电昏了 Sorry l zapped you at the farmhouse.
没关系! 很抱歉没法在基地外接走你 That's okay. l'm sorry l wasn't there to meet you outside the base.
等我到那儿时, 你已经走了 By the time l got there, you'd already gone.
看起来你有备用的 B计画 But l see you got yourself a plan B, huh?
还真是的. 这些人是我的朋友 Did l ever. These are my friends.
-哈罗 -很高兴认识你 -Hello. -Pleasure to meet you boys.
-你们干的好 -谢谢你, 佐伊尔探员 -You did a hell of a job. -Thank you, Agent Zoil.
叫我罗伦佐 Please call me Lorenzo.
-罗伦佐.佐伊尔? -罗伦佐.佐伊尔? (92年电影 Lorenzo's oil 罗伦佐的油的主角) -Lorenzo Zoil? -Lorenzo Zoil?
没错 That's right.
露丝 Ruth!
爸? Papa?
-保罗 -露丝 -Paul! -Ruth!
好险 That was close.
喔! 天啊! Oh, my!
不! No!
-天啊! 葛莱姆 -Oh, God, Graeme.
葛莱姆 Graeme!
-我绝不是故意.... -鲍格斯先生, 放下你的枪 -l never meant to... -Put the gun down, Mr. Buggs.
放下枪, 爸 Drop the fucking gun, Dad!
喔, 惨了! Oh, no!
我真得蛮喜欢这件T恤的 l really liked this T-shirt.
都是我的错. 我们真不该来渡假的 This is all my fault. We should never have come on holiday.
不, 不. 没事的. 真的, 克利夫 No, no. lt's fine. lt's fine, Clive.
我们玩得很开心, 不是吗? We've had a good time, haven't we?
可是你被射到了 Yeah. But you got shot.
说得没错. 不过说真的, 克利夫. 这是我玩得最爽的一次 Yeah, l know. But l can honestly say, Clive, this is the most fun l have ever had.
葛莱姆 Graeme?
我得试试, 不是吗? l've gotta try, right?
-是吗? -不, 不 -Yeah? -No, no.
保罗, 好好考虑一下 Paul, think about this.
保罗 Paul!
保罗 Paul?
喔! 这太烂了! 救了他却不能吃他 Oh, that sucked. l don't even get to eat him.
刚刚是不是真的真的很危险? Wasn't that really, really dangerous?
有时候 ... 你不能循规蹈矩. Sometimes, you just gotta roll the dice.
真是个奇迹! lt's a miracle!
上帝伸出祂的神手 The Lord has delivered his healing hand!
真受不了这些宗教狂 You can't win with these people.
-对不起, 你被我爸杀了 -没关系 -Sorry you got killed by my dad. -That's fine.
-要不要再练习一下接吻啊? -靠! 当然要 -Do you want to try that kiss again? -Fuck, yeah.
好嘛! 可真想不到, 书呆子们将统治地球 Well, what do you know? The geek shall inherit the Earth.
huh Huh?
嗯, 这可不是... -Well, ain't this...
喔! Oh!
我改变主意了. 这才对了! l changed my mind. That is Jenga.
这样比较舒服 lt feels better.
可以吗? Okay?
喔! 那不错 Oh, that's good.
-你们这张照得不错啊 -谢了 -This is a nice one of you. -Thank you.
喂, 鲍格斯先生 Look, Mr. Buggs.
好刺激的一段旅程 lt's been a hell of a ride, huh?
对不起我把你吓了个半死 Sorry l frightened the shit out of you.
你没有吓到我. 你让我自由了! You didn't frighten me. You freed me.
我很高兴 l'm glad.
mm, 真不错 Mmm. That's nice.
谢谢 Thanks.
嘿!大个儿,好好照顾她 Hey, take care of her, big man.
喔, 我会的, 先生. 上帝与你同在 Oh, l will, sir. And God be with you.
好啦, 随便啦! Yeah, whatever, dude. Sure.
代我向凯伦说再见 Say bye to Karen for me.
一路顺风! 小家伙 Safe trip, Short Round.
谢了 Thanks.
-喔, 你得跟我走 -什么? -Oh, you're coming with me. -What?
我毁了你一辈子, 泰拉 l ruined your life, Tara.
我想我应该给你一个新生才对 l think it's only right l give you a new one.
喔 Oh.
可是我没带我的牙刷 l don't have my toothbrush.
宝贝, 我们要去的地方, 你连牙齿都不需要 Baby, where we're going, you don't need teeth.
这就对了!上去啊! 进去那儿. That's right. Right on. Get in there, girl.
她没问题. 她和我一起的. 让她进去. 对. 不. Yeah, she's cool. She's with me. Let her in. Yeah. No.
男士们 Gentlemen.
我一直想问你觉得我的书怎样? l meant to ask, what did you think of the book?
我喜欢它. 事实上我还真喜欢它 l liked it, actually. l really liked it.
裏面有很多亮点 There's lot of good ideas in it.
不过说真的, 我觉得要看完它有点难 l kind of found it hard to finish, to be honest.
没错. 我也有同感 Yeah. Yeah, me, too.
你知道的, 如同我常说的一句话: You know, as l always say,
在你编织梦想之前你得先编个好故事 "You have to spin a good yarn before you can weave a great dream."
那是亚当.夏多查德说的嘛! That's what Adam Shadowchild said.
那个浑蛋! 他偷了我的话 That asshole! He stole that from me.
Huh.
-他的确有的鸡歪 -没错, 真的 -He was a bit of an asshole, actually. -Yeah, he was.
-留下它在回家的路上看, 如果你愿意的话 -好啊 -Keep it for the journey home, if you like. -Oh, yeah. Definitely.
三个奶耶, 够屌
不用说我们在这件事中都学到点东西 lt's safe to say we've all learned something from this.
保持自己的纯真. 说真心话. 诸如此类的事 Be yourselves. Speak from your heart. Some shit like that, l don't know.
没错. 我觉得我自己有些不一样 Yeah, you know, l certainly feel a bit different.
我也是 And me.
兄弟们, 谢了 Thank you, guys.
-不, 我要谢你 -对, 谢谢你, 保罗 -No, thank you. -Yeah, thanks, Paul.
抱一下 Hugs?
过来 Come on.
克利夫, 我可感受到你的鸡鸡 Clive, l can feel your boner.
再会了 Till next time.
-太酷了, 不是吗? -简直难以置信 -So cool, isn't it? -lt's amazing!
再见了! Goodbye!
再见! See you! Goodbye!
这船起飞的时候巨慢, 拖戏得有点尴尬了. This ship takes off very slowly. lt's a little awkward.
再见! Goodbye!
你们能不能起飞快一点啊?快! Can you guys take off any faster? Come on!
啊! Ah!
真不错, 不是吗? That was good, wasn't it?
先别关 ...
两年后.
嘿. Hey.
Leias! 谢了
抱歉, 你是谁? Sorry. Who are you?
一个爱你的人 Someone who loves you.
嘿!我还以为今天你会扮神力女超人 Hey! l thought you were coming as Wonder Woman today.
好了. 请大家热烈欢迎.. All right, would you please welcome
今年多项星云奖项得奖的最佳团队 the team behind this year's multi-Nebulon-award-winning best seller.
顺便说一下, 他们也是我的朋友 By the way, these are friends of mine.
我以你为傲, 葛莱姆. 我以你为傲,香肠哥 -l'm very proud of you, Graeme. -l'm very proud of you, Sausage.
来啊 Come on.
派特.史帝芬斯? 你是那个第一章就出现的那个派特.史帝芬斯? (注:这个女的是著名的女同性恋) Pat Stevens? Like, Pat Stevens from Chapter 1 ?
正是在下 The very same.
你知道吗, 我一直以为你要高一些 You know, l always pictured you taller.
-你该看我站起来的样子 -喔, 我真想看 -You should see me standing up. -Oh, l'd like that.
我不晓得你那么美 l didn't realize you were so damn pretty.
你该看我没穿这些疯狂衣服的时候 You should see me out of these crazy clothes.
我真想看 l'd like that.
Mmm.
我不能 l can't.
我显然了解他们在表扬我.. l understand, apparently, they are citing me as the...
干!你是知道的... Well, fuck. You know...
各位请欢迎克利夫.戈林和葛莱姆.威利上台 Please welcome to the stage, Clive Gollings and Graeme Willy.
热烈鼓掌! -Give it up.
3, 2, 1 Three, two, one.
恭禧! Congratulations.
-恭禧! -谢谢 -Congratulations. -Thank you.
葛莱姆! 克利夫! Graeme! Clive!
哇!我认识他们! Whoo! l know those guys!
-是你 -嗨. -You! -Hi.
保罗 -克利夫 戈林