啊哈 德国造的G-36步枪 Ah, the Heckler & Koch G-36.
在行家手里可都是要命的家伙 Quite deadly in the right hands.
啊 一号特工 Ah, Agent One.
这一刻我等得太久了 I have been so looking forward to this moment.
我不会让你失望的 Well, in that case, I'll try not to disappoint.
你高估了对女人的吸引力 You overestimate your power over women, Mr English.
实际上我并没有 I'd say that would be virtually impossible.
长官? Sir?
长官! Sir!
找到了吗? Have you got them?
-嗯? -任务指令啊 特工一号今晚就动身了 Hmm? The mission documents. Agent One's flying tonight.
任务指令在哪儿呢? 应该就在这 Yes, the mission documents. They're here somewhere.
找到了 Here we are.
特工一号 Agent One.
先生们 Gentlemen.
我来拿指令 I'm here for my documents.
波夫 把特工一号的指令拿来 Bough, Agent One's documents, please.
谢谢 Thank you.
特工一号 你的任务指令 Your mission documents, Agent One.
包括潜艇舱门密码 我全都亲自核对了 Including the codes for the submarine hatch, which I've checked myself.
谢谢 Thank you.
这次只到法国吗? So, is it just France tonight,
会不会悄悄穿过比利牛斯山? or will you be slipping over the Pyrenees as well?
如果告诉你 就不得不杀了你 If I told you that, I'm afraid I'd have to kill you.
对对 就是 我想你会的 Oh, yes, yes. Well, I expect you would.
再见 特工一号 Cheerio, Agent One.
再见 Bonne chance.
再会 Arrivederci.
瞧他那派头 卓尔不群 Such class. Such distinction.
致军情七处（英国情报机构）各部门 紧急通知
特工一号在法国比亚里茨行动中身亡
潜艇舱门没能打开
英国史上最伟大的特工窒息而死 The greatest secret agent England's ever had snuffed out in an instant.
太惨了 Terrible.
勃夫 你知道是什么让全世界都羡慕我们吗 Do you know what makes us envied the world over, Bough?
是倒下一个特工 千万个特工站起来 That there's always another agent waiting to step into the beach.
没错 长官 Absolutely, sir.
现在特工们全在墓地悼念 And every last one of them is gathered around that grave.
给他们当警卫 真是我们的荣幸 It is our honour and privilege to guard them while they grieve.
他们的命全握在我们手里 Their lives are in our hands, Bough.
英格利西 一切都正常吧 Everything in order, English?
长官 岂止是正常 I think you'll find it's rather more than just in order, sir.
你现在正进入全英最安全的地界 You're now entering the most secure location in the whole of England.
帕格索斯 现在是国家危机 Pegasus, we face a national crisis.
特工一号肯定查到了什么 我们得找出来 Agent One was clearly onto something, and we have to find out what.
我要派另一名特工去调查 你说谁好呢 I need another agent on this immediately. Who else is there?
没人了 首相先生 No one, Prime Minister.
特工们全被炸死了 They all died in the explosion.
全死了? All of them?
不完全是 还有一个侥幸没死 Well, luckily there is one who survived.
谁? Who?
艾金森·罗温
憨豆特工
娜塔莉
米勒·本
马尔科维奇·约翰
饰演
沙维奇·帕斯卡
史密斯·蒂姆·皮戈特
麦克纳利·凯文
戴维斯·奥立佛·福特
迈克弗朗·道格拉斯
就是这儿 Right.
我是强尼·英格利西 找帕格索斯 Johnny English. I'm here to see Pegasus.
没什么要紧的事 Still, no sense rushing things.
在你们见面之前 请先签收一些物品 There are some items you need to sign before your briefing.
这是你的新视网膜身份证 This is your new retinal I.D. card,
这是你的九级特工登记表 and this is your level nine security clearance.
请签名并标注日期 Sign and date, please.
这让我想到了以前用过的笔 Oh, reminds me of the old service issue ballpoint.
记得那里 每个特工都有一支这样的笔 I remember every agent would carry a pen that looked just like this.
普通人会觉得毫不起眼 但只要按两下 Completely innocent to the untrained eye, but click it twice.
英格利西 你来了 Ah, English, there you are.
见到我的秘书了吗? Have you seen my secretary?
她刚出去了 She went out.
我们进去谈 Um... shall we?
特工一号查到有一个盗取王冠的计划 Now, Agent One believed that there was a plot to steal the Crown Jewels.
王冠刚花费数百万英镑进行了修复 They've recently been through a multi-million pound restoration,
大部分的修复费用都由一家公司赞助的 Iargely paid for by a corporate sponsor.
他们今晚将在伦敦塔举行王冠揭幕仪式 They're due to be unveiled tonight at the Tower of London.
女王坚持揭幕仪式如期举行 所以我们希望你去 Unfortunately the queen is insisting that the ceremony goes ahead, so what we want you to
哈 谁 谁? Hah! Who? Who?
赞助人是谁 长官 Who is the sponsor, sir?
沙维奇·帕斯卡 Pascal Sauvage.
就是那个拥有几座监狱的法国人 What, that flouncy Frenchman who owns a couple of prisons?
沙维奇身价70亿英镑 英格利西, Sauvage's ￡7 billion empire, English,
他们管理着全球60个国家的400多座监狱 operates over 400 prisons in 60 countries.
-我们国家也有25座 -对 长官 - He's built 25 of them here. - Right, sir.
他跟王室是亲戚 The man's related to the royal family, for goodness'sake.
首相认为他是英国最好的朋友之一 As far as the prime minister's concerned, he's one ofthe greatest friends England's got.
英格利西 Now, English,
你今晚去伦敦塔监视揭幕仪式 I want you at the Tower tonight, monitoring this unveiling.
检查保安隐患 Any chink in security, any weakness,
一点差池也不能有 however slight, must be plugged immediately.
听清楚了吗? Do we understand each other?
-清楚了 长官 -很好 - Perfectly, sir. - Good.
-很清楚 -还有 英格利西 - Oh, yes. - And, uh, English.
不能出任何岔子 we can't afford any mistakes,
尤其是今晚 not tonight.
长官 我的字典里从没有"岔子"这个词, The word "mistake" sir, is not one that appears in my dictionary.
伦敦塔
好棒的车 长官 Fantastic car, sir!
英格利西先生 Mr English,
我是安东尼爵士上校 皇家安全组组长 Colonel Sir Anthony Chevenix, head of Royal Security.
晚上好 上校 Ah, Colonel, good evening.
-屋顶上安排狙击手了吗 -安排了13个 - Snipers posted on the roof as per my request? - Thirteen of them.
-窗户呢 -都换上了双层防弹玻璃 - Windows? - Refitted with bullet and shatter proof glass as orded.
我现在就混入来宾中 I shall now mingle inconspicuously with the guests.
-女王陛下到达时通知我 -好的 - Let me know when Her Majesty arrives. - Very good.
长官 我也要跟你一起混入来宾中吗 Shall I mingle with you, sir?
对 勃夫 不过你得先检查下屋顶 Oh, yes, Bough. Once you've checked the roof.
救命 Help! Help!
你好 Well, hello.
你好 你是... Hello yourself.
强尼·英格利西. Johnny English.
罗拉·坎贝尔 Lorna Campbell.
请来一杯血腥马莉 不要太辣 A Bloody Mary, please, not too spicy.
您到此有何贵干 So, are you here in some professional capacity?
我是修王冠的 I worked on the restoration of the jewels.
-真有趣 -你呢? - Intriguing. - And yourself?
如果我说了 我就得杀了你 If I told you that, I'm afraid I'd have to kill you.
我倒愿意一试 I'd like to see you try.
沙维奇先生 我谨代表女王陛下 Monsieur Sauvage, on behalf of Her Majesty,
欢迎莅临伦敦塔 may I welcome you to the Tower.
谢谢 Merci, monsieur.
你是一个人吗 英格利西先生? So, are you here alone, Mr English?
坎贝尔小姐 我喜欢独来独往 That's how I choose to live my life, Miss Campbell.
女人都喜欢安全 Women want safety, security.
我只会给她们带来危险 I can offer them nothing but danger.
有些女人很喜欢冒险的感觉 Some women find danger very attractive.
像你这样的女人 Women like you, Miss Campbell?
我这样的女人 希望男人都像你这样... Women like me expect men like you...
去亲自揭密 to find that out for yourself.
女士 Madame.
这是我点的 Oh, it's for me, actually.
能请你帮我拿点奶酪玉米来吗? Could your rustle up some of those cheesy niblets?
我们谈到哪儿了? Now, where were we?
你肯定没见过今晚的主人 沙维奇先生 You obviously haven't met our host, Monsieur Sauvage.
没有 谢天谢地 No, thank God.
我宁愿坐在一大片仙人掌上 You know, I think I'd rather have my bottom impaled on a giant cactus...
也不会搭理那些法国暴发户 than exchange pleasantries with that jumped-up Frenchman.
在我看来 法国人都是入侵者 As far as I'm concerned, the only thing the French should host is an invasion.
你有事吗? Sorry, can I help?
我是帕斯卡·沙维奇 法国暴发户 Pascal Sauvage, jumped-up Frenchman.
我是罗拉-坎贝尔 一直渴望见到你 Lorna Campbell. I've been so looking forward to meeting you.
我也是 Enchante.
你是强尼·英格利西 我听说过你 But of course! You're Johnny English. I've heard all about you.
告诉你一个小秘密 我不大喜欢法国人 And between you and me, I'm not so keen on the French myself.
请别告诉别人 But please don't tell them that.
-我去给你拿奶酪玉米 -不用... 我 - Let me go and search foryour nibbly cheese bits. - No, no, no.
我坚持这么做 法国人是 不错的服务生 I, I insist. The French are, after all, fantastic waiters.
-天底下最好的侍应 -是的 但是... - The best in the world. - Well, But, but...
-就在这儿等着 我来招呼你 -真的不用... Wait here, and I will wait on you. - No, really. There's no...
请不要 No. Please, please, please!
女士们 先生们 Ladies and gentlemen, mesdames est messieurs,
欢迎光临今晚的盛会 bienvenus, welcome tonight to this wonderful occasion.
我们身处的伦敦塔 As we stand here in the Tower of London,
是世上独一无二的铜墙铁壁 the most famous prison in the world,
美丽的王冠在重重保护下... where these wonderful jewels will rest safely...
将安全无比 under lock and key.
在此感谢诸位... I want to thank you...
给了我这次机会 for giving me this wonderful experience...
为修复王冠出一份力 to contribute to the restoration of these jewels.
这样的经历 用法语来说就是 顶级的 一流的 It was, as we say in France, le top, le best of.
这美丽的王冠... And what a beautiful...
长官 是安东尼上校 It's Colonel Chevenix!
他被暗算了 是谁干的? He's got a nasty wound, sir. Who hit him?
有刺客 他跑进去了 The assailant. He ran in here.
勃夫 你守着门口 Bough, you guard the door.
勃夫 别进来 他是个疯子 For God's sake, Bough, don't come in. The man's a maniac!
你吓不了我 You don't frighten me!
没打中 Missed!
我已经制服刺客了 I've managed to subdue the assailant.
不用慌张 我已控制了局势 The panic's over. Everything's under control.
谢谢 女士们 先生们 Thank you. And now, ladies and gentlemen,
现在 我们恭迎女王陛下驾临... we should compose ourselves for the arrival of Her Majesty...
并把已经修复的美丽的王冠... and return to the site of our great nation's...
交还给她 magnificently restored Crown Jewels.
我知道 我也感觉的到 I know. I feel it too.
我们这个岛国的象征 The very symbols of our island nation,
现在触手可及... 及... so close we could almost reach out and tou... tou...
肃静 恭迎女王陛下 Pray silence for Her Majesty the Queen.
咦 王冠在哪? Oh, where are the jewels?
这是个大灾难 英格利西 It's an unmitigated disaster, English.
长官 你说得太对了 I couldn't agree more, sir.
英格利西 我们要把王冠找回来 要快 Well, we need to get these jewels back, English, and fast.
跟我说说那个刺客 Tell me about this assailant.
因为随后他们搜查房间时 刺客逃走了 Because when they searched the room later, there was no sign of him.
很明显 他是专职杀手 Well, the man was clearly a professional.
他一定是趁女王驾临时逃跑了 He must have escaped while the queen was being sedated.
但他是唯一的线索 我们得抓到他 But he's the only lead we've got. We have to find him.
请进 Come in.
这位是数据支援部的罗杰 This is... this is Roger from Data Support.
请坐 Please sit down.
他会根据你的描述拼出刺客的样子 He'll produce a likeness based on your description.
说说看 那人长什么样 So tell us, what did this man look like?
嗯 Um... well...
他是个 大块头 he was... big.
头发颜色呢? Hair colour?
橙色 Orange.
-橙色? -还是卷的 - Orange? - Mmm. And curly.
卷的 比较软 Well, frizzy, actually. Frizzy sort of thing.
-卷的 -戴个眼罩 - Frizzy. - An eyepatch.
烂鼻子 只剩几颗牙 Broken nose. Very few teeth.
只剩两颗 最多两颗 Two, I would say, at the most.
脸上有伤疤... And a scar on his cheek...
是... 香蕉型的 in the shape... of a banana.
-哪边脸 -两边 - Which cheek? - Both cheeks.
在脸中间相交 They sort of met in the middle.
你肯定吗 英格利西? Are you sure about this, English?
对 就是他 拼得太像了 Oh, yes, that's him. An uncanny resemblance.
拼得跟真人一样 Why, it's just as if he's in the room with us.
长官 看这个 真是应有尽有 Look at this, sir. Got all the bells and whistles, isn't it?
别只顾看新鲜 想想案子 Never mind about the gad gets. Just focus on the case.
早上好 先生们 久等了 Good morning, gentlemen. Thank you very much for waiting.
我们现在面对的问题很简单 Now, the question that faces us this morning is a simple one.
盗贼是如何突破严密的防线 Namely, how did the thieves gain access to this highly secure environment...
并在得手后逃脱的呢 and then escape with thejewels afterwards?
问题很简单 但答案会很复杂 A simple question, but one which I believe has a complex answer.
-长官 实际上... -勃夫 我正想问题呢 - Actually, sir... - Please, Bough. My mind is at work.
你们必须明白 Now, what you must grasp, gentlemen, is that the master criminal...
主犯并非只有一次机会 而是许多次 sees not a room but a series of opportunities.
我会从窗户进来吗? Should I go in through the window?
很可能 Possibly.
或者从天花板下来? Should I drop down from the ceiling?
长官 事实上... Actually, sir...
有一点 我是确定一定以及肯定的 There's one thing I think we can be fairly confident about,
他们不会是从地下钻出来的... that is that they didn't come up through the floor...
我抓住你了 长官 I've got you, sir.
没事 到我这边来 That's all right. Just come my way, Bough.
-长官 那样我得跨过洞口的 -别慌 - That'll bring me right over the hole, sir. - There's no need to panic.
勃夫 到底了吗 Can you see the bottom yet, Bough?
还没 长官 洞变窄了 Notyet, sir. The shaft appears to be narrowing.
我担心会被卡住 I'm just a little bit worried I might get stuck.
相信我 只要不停下 就不会卡住的 Trust me, Bough. You won't get stuck if you just keep moving.
明白 长官 Yes, sir.
我没事 长官 I'm okay, sir.
勃夫 你现在到底了吗? Are you at the bottom now, Bough?
没有 长官 我被卡住了 No, I am in fact stuck now, sir.
勃夫 别动 我这就来 Oh, for God's sake, Bough. Stay there! I'm coming down.
长官 这样做可不太好 Uh, I'm not especially sure that's a good idea, sir.
别担心 Don't worry.
小心 长官 Be careful, sir!
慢一点 Gently does it.
长官 Sir?
长官 你没事吧? Are you all right, sir?
没事 我掉到一堆软东西上了 Yes. I landed on something quite soft.
-那是我 长官. -很好 - That was me, sir. - Oh, good.
现在是怎样? What now?
可以肯定的是 我们不能原路返回上面 There's no way back up there, that's for sure.
这里一定通往什么地方 But this must lead somewhere.
我有点怕黑 长官 I'm slightly uncomfortable in the dark, sir.
勃夫 不用害怕 There's nothing to worry about, Bough.
就算很黑我们也能看得见 It may be pitch black, but we can still see.
可以看到吗? 怎么看? Can we, sir? How?
贝多因僧人 The Bedouin monks of the Al Maghreb mountains...
发明了一套声纳系统 developed a system of sonic chanting.
-长官 我明白了 -他们的歌声... - I see, sir. - The sound of their chanting...
一遇到障碍物就会反弹回来 would bounce back off any obstacles,
然后靠他们灵敏的耳朵... and using their highly tuned ears...
他们就能在脑袋里绘制出前方的路线 they could paint a mental picture of the path ahead.
-真聪明 长官 -不过 一定要降E大调来唱 - Brilliant, sir. - However, you must always sing in E-flat.
降E,降E E-flat, E-flat, E-flat
感谢这首我现编的歌 Thank you for the music The songs I'm singing.
-长官 这能管用吗 -非常管用 谢谢 - Is it working, sir? - Extremely well, thankyou, Bough.
快乐来自于... Thanks for all the joy that...
长官 你没事吧? You all right, sir?
我觉得自己看到什么了 I think I can see something, sir.
是的 这边 Oh,yeah. Come on.
这件 长一点的 Here is the long one.
长的 It is a long one.
小心 Careful.
-我知道 -长官 我们要请求增援吗? - I knew it. - Shall we call for backup, sir?
什么? 让那些大屁股警察来帮我们抓人 What? And watch some fat-bottomed bobby make our arrest for us?
想都别想 I don't think so.
早上好 先生们 军情7处为你服务 Good morning, gentlemen. MI7 at your service.
显然 这些罪犯都太笨了 Observe, Bough, the dull incompetence ofthe criminal mind.
他们哪能比得上我们呢 It can never hope to match our level of technical expertise.
-抓好了 -长官 我们该怎么办 - You've got it. - What do we do now, sir?
学着点儿 Watch and learn, Bough.
他们甩掉我们了 They're too far ahead of us.
别泄气 勃夫 他们往南跑了 Have faith, Bough. They're heading south.
-长官 在那边 -不出我所料 - There they are, sir! - Just as I thought.
勃夫 抓稳 Hang on tight, Bough.
像这样子永远也追不到 We're never gonna catch them in this.
勃夫 把好方向盘 Take the wheel, Bough.
-我要回自己的车上去 -长官 - I'm getting in the Aston. - Sir?
勃夫 换个位置 我要从另一边出去 Change places, Bough. I'm getting out the other side.
长官 Sir?
好了 勃夫 起吊 Set, Bough. Take me up.
勃夫 摆出去 Swing me out, Bough!
放下 Down.
升 升起来 Up! Up!
对不起 Sorry!
勃夫 摆出去 Bough, pull out!
那两个傻瓜在后面 开快点 Those idiots are right behind us. Faster!
勃夫 放我下来 Drop me here, Bough!
不! 不对! 别走! No! No! No!
别 别 别 不要这样 Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
他们拐进布兰普顿公墓了 They're turning into the Brompton Cemetery.
我跟进去 你尽快赶来 Get here as soon as you can. I'm going in.
杰夫里在轮椅上克服了重重困难... In a wheelchair. But Geoffrey overcame these terrible disabilities...
如阳光一般乐观... with that simple resilience and sunny optimism...
温暖了身边的人 that so warmed all of us who knew him,
他把剩下的日子都用来照顾着... spending the rest of his life in the service...
本教区的穷苦人 of the poor and disabled of this parish.
讲得真好 It's very good. Really very good.
很抱歉打断了你 请继续 No, no, please go on. I'm sorry to interrupt.
-真有趣 -他是谁? - It's very entertaining. - Who's that?
你们表演的这场牧师节目 会让观众们乐上一会儿的 That priest act ofyours should keep the other prisoners entertained for hours.
对不起 我是英国特工 强尼·英格利西 Oh, I'm so sorry. Where are my manners? Johnny English,
英国特勤局 你们都被捕了 British Secret Service, and you are all under arrest.
我得承认 你们策划得很不赖 I must say you've done this whole thing very well.
每个细节都注意到了 The attention to detail is excellent.
你 悲伤的老太太 演得不错 You, the grieving granny, you're very convincing.
噢 是真的泪水 会不会能多得点儿钱 Oh, look. Real tears. Do you get paid extra for that?
我们在这儿干什么 Ahh, what we're all here for.
我知道 干嘛不打开看看 I know! Why don't we take a look inside?
噢 都钉死了 Oh, you've nailed it down!
为什么要这样做 Why would you do that?
我知道 你们过两个星期就会把它挖出来 I know you're gonna come back in two weeks and dig it up again.
你在这出戏里扮演谁? Now, what are you playing in this little vignette of deceit and villainy?
灵车司机 I'm the hearse driver.
-你是灵车司机? -是的 长官 - You're the hearse driver? - Yes, sir.
原来你在这儿呀... 根特 There you are... Gunther.
希望他没有冒范你们 Uh, I do hope he hasn't made a nuisance of himself.
我是精神病医院的医生 I'm Doctor, um...
我叫勃夫 Bough, of the Lunatic Response Unit.
根据他的病情 他得在2028年后才能出院 I'm afraid Gunther here wasn't supposed to be released until 2028.
对吧 根特 Isn't that right, Gunther?
在这墓碑下 Yes,yes, there's been the most monumental cock-up.
请接受我深深的歉意 If you'll excuse me, with the deepest respect,
和无比的同情 utmost sympathy.
他没有冒犯那位吧? He hasn't urinated on anyone, has he?
-没有 -没有 No. No, no.
那太好了 That's a blessing.
根特 把抢给我好吗 Are you gonna give me the gun, Gunther?
看 一点儿也不难 对吗? There. That wasn't too difficult, was it?
我们回家去 好吗? Are you going to come home now?
啊... 上车 对 我们这就上车 Oh... in the van! Yes, we are going in the van.
对 Yes, yes.
噢 他在挥手告别 再见了 Yes. He's waving good-bye. Good-bye, everyone.
-再见 -再见 根特 Good-bye. Good-bye, Gunther.
这边走 小心别踩到死者 Mind the nice dead people. There we go.
我们去那条小路 当心台阶 Oh, we'll just go to the path here. There. Big step.
这是墓地 是埋死人的地方 It's a graveyard. It's where they bring people...
行了 你可以打住了 Yes, all right. You can stop now.
-别让人起疑 我来扶着你 -走快点 - For appearances, I'll just hold your arm. - Just keep walking.
不 跑 跑 赶紧跑! In fact, run, run, run!
真不敢相信我做了这件事 I can't believe I've done this.
真不敢相信我做了这件事! I mean, I really can not believe I've done this!
你们知道吗 200年前 You see, 200 years ago,
我的家族应该继承英格兰的王位 my family should have inherited the throne of England,
但他们被废黜了 but they were cast aside.
不过 几天后 Well, in a few very short days,
它将回到原本属于它的地方 it will be back where it belongs.
和我一起 With me.
我应该试试吗? Shall I try it on?
好看 不好看 不知道 Yes? No? Maybe?
只有坎特伯雷大主教 才有权授予王位 To make you king, we need the archbishop of Canterbury to do that.
在此刻 我们谈话时... The archbishop of Canterbury...
大主教正在被我们处理中 is being taken care of even as we speak.
获取目标
锁定目标
肢体特征扫描完成
老大 还有一件事 There's only one thing, sir.
怎样处置英格利西? What are we going to do about English?
换成我 大可不用担心他 If I were you, I wouldn't worry too much about English.
他毫无威胁 不堪一击 He is no threat to us. I had his flat bugged.
显然 他该取名为笨蛋 Clearly, the aptly named English is a fool.
但他是个甩不掉的笨蛋 He might be a fool, but he's a fool who keeps showing up.
那么下次他再出现时... Well, the next time he shows up,
干掉他 eliminate him.
谢谢 Thank you.
长官 这是迪亚特-克莱英和克劳斯-万德 Dieter Klein and Klaus Vendetta, sir.
半年前出狱 共受到327项指控 Released from prison six months ago. 327 convictions between them.
持械行劫 蓄意滋事... Armed robbery, grievous bodily harm...
还有400多次违章停车... and combined parking fines of more than 400...
好 谢谢 勃夫 大家都记住照片了吧 Uh, yes, all right. Thankyou, Bough. I think we get the picture.
长官 重要的是 他俩... The point is, sir, that Vendetta and Klein...
都是沙维奇的手下 are both in the employ of Monsieur Sauvage.
-帕斯卡·沙维奇? -正是 长官 - Pascal Sauvage? - Precisely, sir.
你不是说 案子跟沙维奇有关吧 But you're not suggesting Sauvage is involved?
长官 不仅是有关 I think he's more than just involved, sir.
我相信他是主谋 I'm convinced he's up to his French neck in it.
太可笑了 沙维奇有数千名雇员 Don't be absurd. Sauvage employs thousands of people.
其中有两个坏蛋并不能证明他就是坏人 Just because two of them are villains doesn't mean that he is.
马上停止对他的调查 I want him discounted from this investigation immediately.
是 长官 Yes, sir.
今晚我要去参加沙维奇欢迎法国新大使的招待会 All right. Tonight I shall be at Sauvage's reception forthe new French ambassador.
有事就到那找我 Any developments, you can reach me there.
没事的话 离他远点 Apart from that, I don't want you within a hundred miles of the man.
是 长官 Absolutely, sir.
请军情七处立刻提供 Requisition order. MI7 quarter masters for immediate supply,
一架加满油的军用运输机 one military transport plane, fully fueled,
并准许在市区上空夜航 with permission for nighttime city over flight;
两个伪装降落伞 另加两个备用 two night camouflage parachutes, plus reserves,
两件黑色皮紧身衣 plus neoprene bodysuits, twice, in black.
我不喜欢海军蓝 I've never liked the navy blue.
我的胸围要40英寸 因为我需要长袖子 And a 40-inch chest for me 'cause I need the sleeve length.
-早上好 菲尔齐 -早上好 - Morning, Felch. - Morning.
还要两个特效图章指环 Oh, and two Special Forces signet rings,
要漂亮点的 primed and colour-coded.
-这些的用途是? -为了今晚的行动 - What's all this for? - For tonight's operation.
我们要潜进沙维奇的老窝 We're going to break into Sauvage's headquarters.
-但帕格索斯说... -你不用操心帕格索斯 - But Pegasus said... - Let me worry about Pegasus.
我知道沙维奇是幕后主谋 I know that Sauvage is behind all this,
今晚我们就去取证 and tonight we're going to get the evidence.
怎么了? 长官 Is something wrong, sir?
刚才的声音是菲尔齐吗? Did that sound like Felch to you?
勃夫 Bough.
你 上楼 You, upstairs.
勃夫 看到他了吗? Can you see him, Bough?
他在上一层 长官 He's on the upper level, sir.
我看到了 Got him.
象条蓄势待发的毒蛇... And like a coiled viper...
出击 he strikes.
长官 你说他们有两个人 So what you're saying, sir, is there must have been two of them?
唔 至少两个 可能是四个 Oh, at least, Bough. Possibly four.
我怎么没看到人 I wonder why I didn't see them.
你要承认自己的错误 You mustn't dwell on your mistakes.
-要从中吸取教训 -是 长官 - You must learn from them, then move on. - Yes, sir.
-长官 你刚才在哪里 -勃夫 别再说这事儿了 - So where were you, sir? -Just drop it, Bough!
-长官 怎么了? -那辆摩托车 - Aah! What is it, sir? - That bike.
你去准备今晚的装备 You get things sorted out for tonight.
嗨 我们又见面了 Well, well, we meet again.
英格利西先生 想不到在这里见到你 Mr English. What a pleasant surprise.
为什么你总是神出鬼没 I wondered when you might show up again.
恰恰相反 罗拉小姐 On the contrary, Miss Campbell.
神出鬼没的人不是我 而是你 It is not I who keeps showing up. It's you.
你喜欢寿司吗? Do you like sushi?
什么? Hmm?
噢 寿司 我还是不碰为好 Oh, sushi! I practically live off the stuff.
我对东方的事情非常了解 You might say the mysteries of the Orient are no mystery to me.
-要清酒吗? -啊 清酒 - Sake? - Ah. Sake.
干杯
祝你的女儿都有三个屁股
或许 你现在能解释一下... Now then, perhaps you can explain how it is...
为什么两次犯罪你都在现场... that I run into you at two crime scenes...
而我在政府的电脑上 却查不到你的资料 and then can't find any record of you on a single government computer.
那你为什么不去问政府 Shouldn't you ask the government that?
我就是政府 现在我问你 I am the government and I'm asking you.
我帮你 Let me.
你真勇敢 You're brave.
人们说海胆是最难吃的了 They say that sea urchin's the ultimate acquired taste.
这是我的最爱 It's a personal favourite of mine.
人们受不了它 是因为它进食和排泄共用一个口 I think people are put off by how it feeds through its bottom.
我得离开会儿 Would you excuse me for a moment?
不好意思 我是军情七处特工 Excuse me. Sorry. I'm from MI7. Sorry. I'm a secret agent.
-勃夫 全准备好了吗 -长官 准备好了 - Everything set, Bough? - Just about, sir.
长官 你不介意我把计划再复述一遍吧 Actually, sir, do you mind if I run through the plan one more time?
不介意 No, no.
那里有两座大厦 These are the two buildings here.
我们的目标是沙维奇的总部 This one is our target, Sauvage's headquarters,
就在市立医院旁 right next to the City Hospital.
我先跳 降落在屋顶南方 Ijump first and land on the south side of the roof,
然后降到14楼 划开玻璃窗 abseil down 14 floors and cut through this window here.
然后我降落到东边 滑到12楼 I then land on the east side and abseil down 12 floors.
我去切断安全警报 你在那儿等我的信号 Where you wait for my signal that I've disabled the alarm system.
-对 -你就从这里的窗户进去 - Yes. - You them break into this window here,
穿过保安走廊 潜入沙维奇的办公室 workyour way along the secure corridor and penetrate Sauvage's office.
-对 -没问题吧? 长官 - Yes, yes. - Is that okay, sir?
没问题 这是我想出的计划 It's been okay ever since I thought up the idea, Bough.
差点忘了 长官 给你激光导航器 Oh, I nearly forgot, sir. Your laser beacon.
-我的什么? -激光导航器 - My what? - Your laser beacon!
引导你去沙维奇的总部 It'll guide you onto Sauvage's building.
勃夫 你太依赖仪器了 真可笑 Your dependence on hardware really does amuse me, Bough.
有一次我降落到卡拉哈里沙漠时 I've been dropped into the Kalahari Desert...
身上只有一支牙刷和一包冻柠檬露 carrying nothing more than a toothbrush and a packet of sherbet lemons,
但我还是在斋月前到达了布拉瓦约 and I still found my way to Bulawayo before Ramadan.
勃夫 谢谢 但我不用 So thank you, Bough, but no thank you.
勃夫 出发 Bough, go!
我来咯! Geronimo!
我是不是太蠢啦 Fandango!
是这里了 Right.
长官 警报解除 Alarm's disabled, sir.
收到 勃夫 Roger that, Bough.
勃夫 情况比我想的更糟糕 This is worse than I thought, Bough.
沙维奇在这里设置了一些实验室 Sauvage has got some kind of laboratory set up here.
天知道他在做什么变态的试验 God knows what kind of sick operation he's running.
天啊 他们都对你干了些什么 My God, what have they done to you?
他们抽了我的血 They've taken some of my blood.
-混蛋 -只是去做试验 - Bastards! - It's only for tests.
当然是了 来吧 朋友 Of course it is. Come on, my friend.
趁他们还没拿走更多的东西 快离开这儿 Let's get you out of here before they take anything else.
晚上好 魔鬼斯坦医生 Ah! Good evening, Dr Frankenstein.
请走这边 Come on This way, please.
快点 我可没那么多时间 Come on. I haven't got all night.
你们这些死亡天使 And you, you angels of death.
转过去 快点 About turn. Come on, let's go.
快 快走 Come on, come on. Keep moving.
那边的 我知道你在干什么 还有你 Come on. Over there. I know what you're doing here. And you.
过去 快点 那边 Come on. Quicker. Quicker. Over there.
现在可以让我见见你们的魔鬼老板了吧 Now then, perhaps you could direct me to your evil paymaster.
你在说什么 What are you talking about?
你很清楚我在说什么 You know exactly what I'm talking about.
帕斯卡·沙维奇的办公室在哪 Where is the office of Pascal Sauvage?
长官 你能快点过来吗 Are you coming over here in a minute, sir?
我是军情七处特工 I'm from MI7.
我在测试你们对突发事件的反应能力 This has been a test ofyour emergency response systems,
不得不说你们做得很好 and I have to say you've all done extremely well.
我得走了 Right. Well, I'll leave you to it.
没事了 And, uh, get well soon.
老天呐 Oh, God!
长官 长官 Sir. Sir.
你降错地方了吗? Did you just land on the wrong building?
我去察看了周边环境 I did a precautionary sweep of the immediate environment.
挺好 Right.
-一切正常 -那就好 - And everything was fine. - Good.
好了 走 Okay, let's go.
我会到楼下接待处... I will be downstairs at the reception and...
就别再走了 That's far enough.
晚上好 Well, good evening.
-或许你会喜欢这个 -什么东西 - Perhaps you'd like this as well. - What is it?
给你看看 Let me show you.
干得好 勃夫 但多此一举 Well executed, Bough, but completely redundant.
-长官 什么意思 -强力肌肉松弛剂 - How do you mean, sir? - Super-strength muscle relaxant.
待他醒来 他会像散了架一样 When he wakes up, he'll be as floppy as a damp old sock.
这是什么 What's this?
是坎特伯雷大主教的脸 That's the face of the archbishop of Canterbury.
他们想干什么? What are they doing?
这跟王冠有什么关系 What's this got to do with the Crown Jewels?
勃夫 Bough.
英格利西 English.
一个曾经占有... A people whose empire once covered...
整个地球四分之一土地的帝国 one quarter of the surface of the earth.
哎呀 不再是了 Alas, no longer.
我的朋友问我 帕斯卡 是什么让你... My friends ask me, "Pascal, how can you be so interested...
对这个倒退的小国感兴趣 in such a backward, grotty little country?"
我的答案很简单: 是女王 My answer is simple: the queen.
女王的白手套有着强大的力量... The queen has more power in her tiny white gloves...
世上没有哪个国家的元首能与之抗衡 than any other head of state in the entire world.
她可以发起战争 也能带来和平 She can declare war or make peace,
但最令人着迷的地方是... and most intriguingly...
只要她喜欢 她可以占领任何土地 she can seize any piece of land which takes her fancy.
当然 女王从没有使用过... Of course, the queen never uses...
她被赋予的力量 the enormous power afforded to her.
但想象一下 如果有人能使用这份力量 But imagine someone who would use that power.
比如说 我 Imagine, say, me.
但是 长官 他怎么可能成为国王 But how could he do that, sir? How could he make himself king?
大主教 The archbishop.
举起手来 Hands up.
半夜三更 全副武装地到办公室来 Heavily armed for a late night at the office.
英格利西 你这笨蛋 你别想活着离开这大厦 You fool, English. You'll never get out of the building alive.
我还是省省力气留着审问你吧 I'd save your breath for my questioning.
我什么也不会告诉你 I'm not telling you anything.
错 Incorrect.
泄密钠 Sodium pentothal.
吃了这药 你会知无不言的 I won't lie to you. It's a truth serum.
说吧 为什么沙维奇想成为国王 Now then, why does Sauvage want to have himself crowned?
你根本就不知道会出什么事吧 You have no idea what's going on here, do you?
真好笑 就好像... It would be funny if it wasn't so "pablibblit."
什么 What?
长官 他在胡言乱语 He's talking gibberish, sir.
我能听到 I can hear that, Bough.
长官 他倒在我身上了 He's collapsed onto me, sir.
我能看到 I can see that, Bough.
你不会把药搞混了吧? You don't think you could've got the syringes mixed up?
什么意思 What do you mean?
给外面的守卫用了泄密钠 给他用了肌肉松弛剂 Given the guard outside truth serum and given Klein the muscle relaxant?
真好笑 勃夫 我还是能分清左右的 Don't be ridiculous, Bough. I think I know my right from my left.
长官 Sir?
糟糕 Oh, bugger it.
勃夫 拿... Bough, take "flodd."
-长官 拿什么 -...... Take what, sir? Flodd. "Schlage."
-长官 第二个字是? -...... - I'm not quite getting that second word, sir. - Schlaaaagh!
-长官 写下来 -...... - Write it down, sir. - Schlaaaagh!
对 就是那个字... Yes! That is it, schlaaaagh!
C. C-A... C. C-A-Uh.
汽车 去取车 可我们是坐飞机来的 Car! Take the car! We came by plane.
走开 Bugger off!
呆在那不要动 Hold it right there.
他们怎么了? What's wrong with them?
哦 他们... 不告诉你 Oh, they got... I'm not telling you.
答错 Wrong answer.
你们两个是什么? What is it with you two?
我们走吧 Let's get outta here.
你到底是什么人 Sorry, but who are you, exactly?
巴黎国际刑警 罗拉特工 Special Agent Campbell. I'm attached to Interpol in Paris.
我们已经监视了沙维奇几个月了 We've been watching Sauvage for months.
为什么 Why?
半年来 从他的监狱里放出来的犯人 Because every major convict released from a Sauvage prison...
都被他手下的一间公司雇用了 in the last six months has been employed by one of his companies.
我们相信一定有大阴谋 We believe he's recruiting them for a major criminal conspiracy.
但我们还没查出是什么 We just don't know what yet.
-他说什么? -帕格索斯 - What did he say? - Pegasus!
我们要向帕格索斯报告 We have to report to Pegasus!
不要 长官 Oh, no, sir. No, no, no.
-我们怎么离开这里 -你们两个 - How do we get out of here? - Hey, you two!
你们对我干什么了 真疼 What you did to me really hurt.
是 真抱歉 Yeah. Sorry about that.
怎样才能不被发现的从这里出去 How do we get out of here without being seen?
听我说 Okay.
走到喷泉向左 消防通道的右边尽头有电梯 Left by the fountain, right by the fire exit, to the elevator at the end.
-谢谢 -我说了? - Thank you. - Oh, my God.
勃夫 干得好 Nice job, Bough.
长官 左边 Left, sir. Left!
长官 这种状态下可别去沙维奇的招待会 Sir,you can't go to Sauvage's reception in this state.
药效已经过去了 The effect of the drug has practically worn off.
我在费(飞） I'm "fline".
费 schline. uh, "gline".
-先生 -谢谢 - Monsieur. - Ah. Thank you.
再来一杯 Would you like another?
好的 Please.
谢谢 Thank you.
看在上帝的份上... What in God's name.
原来是外交 部 长 Foreign "Sebretarary."
跳只舞吗? Shall we dance?
打扰一下 长官 我需要你... Excuse me, sir. I'm very sorry to interrupt. I need you...
帕斯卡 很高兴再次见到你 Pascal, how nice to see you again.
-玩得开心吗 -太好了 - Enjoying the party? - Oh, splendid affair.
我收到一个消息 I was until I was informed that your man English...
你们的英格利西先生和他这位好奇的朋友 and his curious boyfriend here have spent the evening...
刚才闯进我的办公室并袭击了我的职员 breaking into my office and assaulting my staff.
-勃夫 真的吗 -是 我们... - Is this true, Bough? - Well, we... we...
你们在干什么? What do you think you're up to?
-长官 我能帮... -勃夫 回去 - Sir, if I could just offer. - Go home, Bough!
马上 Now!
我已经命令你别纠缠沙维奇了 I gave you direct orders not to meddle with Sauvage.
你干了些什么 潜入他的办公室 殴打他的职员 What do you do? Break into his office and assault two of his staff.
然后来到这里 侮辱了外交部长 Then you march in here, loaded with God knows what, and insult the foreign secretary.
我在白厅干了30年 还从没见过这种事 I haven't encountered such behaviour in Whitehall in 30 years.
-可是... -没什么可是 英格利西 - But. - There are no "buts", English.
你别再管这案子了 你的特工身份现在取消 You're off the case. Your security clearance is hereby cancelled.
休假三个月 回你原来的岗位 After a three-month leave of absence, you will return at your old grade.
我再也不想听到你的名字 And I hope never to hear your name again.
英格利西看到太多的东西了 English has seen too much.
我们采用B计划 We go to plan "B."
不要再用假大主教了 Get rid of the fake archbishop...
我们去探望一下女王陛下 and green-light the visit to Her Majesty.
我会正式登上王位 Then this pathetic country can humiliate itself...
并使这个国家屈服于我 by crowning me officially.
英女王桑德灵厄姆行宫
这是有退位诏书 That's a letter of abdication...
声明你退位... renouncingyour claims to the throne...
并与王室断绝关系 and the claims of your entire family.
签字吧 Sign it.
休想 Never.
什么事 Yes?
首相 很抱歉这么晚打来 Prime Minister, sorry to call so late,
女王要宣布退位 but I'm afraid the queen is abdicating.
什么 What?
退位? Abdicated?
那不可能 But that's not possible.
我只希望那不是真的 I only wish that were true.
让我跟她谈 她可能... Let me talk to her. Maybe she just.
帕斯卡 她走了 Pascal, she's gone.
最近这10个小时里 我们在... My people have spent the last 10 hours...
寻找一个合适的王位继承人... trying to track down the rightful heir to the throne...
经过再三研究 and they've come up with a name,
我们终于找到了一个 which they've double-checked.
谁 Who is it?
就是你 It's you.
不可能吧 No!
今早 罪犯将王冠... In the wake of the return ofthe Crown Jewels...
放到伦敦北警局门外 to a police station in North London,
帕斯卡·沙维奇要求他的加冕礼... Pascal Sauvage has requested that his coronation...
于周四举行 take place this Thursday.
首相在议院表示他期待着这场加冕礼 In the House, the prime minister said he was looking forward to the ceremony...
同时他也相信沙先生会成为好国王 and he believed that Monsieur Sauvage will make a fine king...
并为英国传统制度带来现代欧洲的气息 and will bring all that is best about modern Europe to our ancient institutions.
拿上车钥匙 我们有事做了 Get your car keys. We've got work to do.
-罗拉小姐 -沙维奇回法国了 - Miss Campbell. - Sauvage is heading back to its shelter of France.
他邀请了全球最有钱的13个犯罪头子在那儿见面 He's invited 13 of the richest criminal masterminds in the world to meet him there.
抱歉 罗拉小姐 我已不管这案件了 I'm sorry, Miss Campbell. I'm off the case.
我被解职了 It's been reassigned.
我知道 我来任命你 I know. Reassigned to me.
-我需要你和我一起 -别管我 - Look, I want you with me, Johnny. - Just leave me alone.
难道你就这样坐在这儿顾影自怜 Are you gonna sit here in this grotty flat feeling sorry for yourself?
还是挺身而出 拯救国家 Or are you gonna get out there and save your country?
我还是顾影自怜吧 I'm gonna sit in the flat.
-强尼 你太可笑了 -我已尽力了 Johnny, this is ridiculous. I'm a spent force.
尽力个屁 Spent my ass.
你能停下吗? Will... you... please... stop?
我马上就过去 I'll just be a minute.
法国北部
还有一小时天就黑了 It'll be nightfall in an hour.
到时我们就能潜入城堡 Then we can strike out for the chateau.
如果沙维奇戴上了王冠 The fact is, the moment Sauvage gets that crown on his head,
他就能对我的国家为所欲为了 he'll be able to do whatever he likes with the country that I love,
所以我们才要一起阻止他 and that is why you and I have got to stop him.
在想什么 Relishing the thought?
在想一些事 Something like that.
强尼 我想你跟很多女人上过床 对吗 I suppose you've made love to lots ofwomen, haven't you,Johnny?
如你所言 Well, you know,
能者多劳嘛 one does one's best.
我... It's just.
自从我的未婚夫离开了我 Well, it's been three years since my fiance left me,
我已经三年没做爱了 and since then I haven't made love to anyone.
但当我见到你... But then I met you...
我感觉到... and I felt this...
饥渴 hunger...
内心里深深的渴望 deep down inside.
想向你倾诉 I wanted to say things to you,
想跟你做些什么... I wanted to do things to you...
做我已经很久很久没做过的事 that I haven't wanted to do in a very, very, very long time.
什么... What, uh.
你说的是什么事情 What sort of things are we talking about?
比如迎面给你一老拳 Things like punching you in the face, things like...
对你的屁股揣上几脚 你这个装糊涂的家伙 kicking you in the backside for being such a pompous, know-nothing asshole.
不过后来我看清了这众人眼里的傻瓜 But then I started to see beyond the idiot that everybody else saw.
我开始看清他的内在... I started to see the man on the inside...
他是个不畏险阻 一心完成任务的人 who was determined to do his duty, no matter what or who lay in his way.
我对他有了不一样的看法了 And I began to feel other things for him,
我想为他做别的事情 to want to do other things for him.
别的事... Things...
包括使用塑胶玩具和软奶酪 involving plastic toys and soft cheese?
-什么? -什么什么? - What? - What? What?
你跟我在这装 You're toying with me.
你要我别再这么柔弱 You're telling me to stop in the gentlest way you know how.
不 不 No. N-N-No.
你真是个特别的人... You're such a special person, Johnny...
你不会对我乘虚而入 not to take advantage of me while I'm vulnerable.
-不... 是 -谢谢你... - No, no, well. - So thank you...
你是真正的绅士 for being such a gentleman.
不客气 Not at all.
罗拉 我知道你在想什么 I know what you're thinking, Miss Campbell.
你在想 如果我们失败 you thinking if we don't pull this off,
谁知道英格兰要遭什么殃 God knows what might happen to England.
事实上 我在想一定有比这更好的路 Actually, I was thinking there must be a better way in than that pipe.
没有了 Well, there isn't.
我已经到处察看过了 这是最佳选择 I've analysed it from every angle, and this is the best option.
我先进去 如果安全的话我再叫你 I'll go in first, and if it's a clear way through, I'll call down, ok?
强尼 Johnny.
-小心点 -我一贯小心 - Be careful. - I'm always careful.
先生们 Gentlemen.
几个小时后... In a few hours time...
我将成为英国的新任国王 I will become the next king of England.
不... Oh, no.
你怎么进来的? How did you get here?
爬梯子 Up the ladder.
冷静点 不过有点儿臭罢了 Pull yourself together. It's only a bit of poo.
好凉! 真冷! Oh! Oh, it's cold! It's cold!
先生们 世界上... What is the one commodity...
什么东西是不会消失的? the world never seems to run out of?
是犯罪 Criminals, gentlemen.
违法 Lawbreakers.
世界上每个国家都面临... Every nation in the world struggles...
罪犯过多的问题 with the issue of overcrowded prisons.
我们该怎样处置这些罪犯 So, what do we do with all these villains?
只要能解决这个问题... Find the solution to that problem...
各国政府都会对你言听计从 and the governments of the world would pay you through their nose.
幸运地 我找到解决办法了 Fortunately, I have found a solution.
我们清空各国的监狱 We empty every prison on the entire planet,
我们把这些人渣集中起来... we take the resulting tidal wave of human scum...
统统放到这里 and we put it here.
只要我一戴上王冠 The moment I am crowned king,
我就会把英格兰变成世界上有史以来... I will turn England into the largest prison...
最大的监狱 in the history of the world.
21万平方英里... 210,000 square miles...
的土地... of prime real estate...
依靠20英里的海峡... conveniently separated from true civilization...
毫不费力地跟文明世界隔开 by 20 miles of ocean...
-很快就可以... -来 - and soon to be available... - Come on.
提供给世界各国倾倒人渣 for the entire world to dump its human waste in.
按照现在的计划 According to current projections,
今后500年内都不会有监狱不足的问题 we will not run out ofprison space for the next 500 years.
今晚 你们当中只有一位... So, tonight one, and only one, of you...
可以带着49%的... will leave here owning 49 percent...
股份离开这里 of this venture.
这就是他的把戏 So that's his little game.
我们要把那张DVD夺过来 We must get hold of that DVD.
强尼 怎样做 我们只有两个人 But how, Johnny? There's only two of us.
罗拉小姐 你太嫩了 经验不足 You're young, Miss Campbell, and inexperienced.
你忘了一点... What you seem to have forgotten is that...
没人知道我们在这 nobody knows we are here.
我的计划是 突袭 At our disposal we have the vital element of surprise.
这个计划即简单又有效 Now, my plan is simple but effective.
我从房间尽头的画廊跳下去 劫持沙维奇做人质 I shall drop from the gallery at this end ofthe room and take Sauvage prisoner.
然后你从那边的门进入 防止他们逃跑 You will then enter from the far door, cutting off any means of escape.
只要劫持了沙维奇 我们就能离开 明白吗 Then, using Sauvage as a hostage, we'll get the hell out ofhere. Clear?
站起来 你这法国佬 Get 'em up, you French ponce.
英格利西先生 我真是大吃一惊 But, Mr English, I'm gobsmacked!
真是太突然了 What an unexpected surprise.
沙维奇 突袭可是我的强项 Surprises are very much my speciality, Sauvage.
戏演够了 I think we've seen enough of this.
我已知道你的计划 我就是来阻止你的 I know exactly what you're planning, and I'm here to put a stop to it.
只要有我在 休想当英国国王 My bottom will be king of England before you are.
又错了 Wrong again.
我想你最好看一下背后 Perhaps you'd care to look behind you.
别吓我了 Oh, please.
罗拉 Lorna!
对不起 强尼 I'm sorry,Johnny.
今晚的表演... Well, I'm afraid that we'll have to...
该结束了 conclude the floor show for tonight.
没那么容易 沙维奇 Not so fast, Sauvage.
你可以打败我 但你绝不会打败英国 You may have taken me, but you'll never take England.
只要我还有一口气在... Not as long as I have breath in my body...
还剩一颗子弹 or a bullet in my gun.
英格利西先生 我真的会很想念你的 You know, Mr English, I'm going to miss you. Really.
你太有趣了 谢谢你 You're very entertaining. I thank you.
带走 Take them away.
大家早上好 Good morning, everybody,
欢迎收听早餐秀 and welcome to the breakfast show.
人们聚集在此 观看自1066年以来... As the crowds are gathering here for the crowning of our first French king...
第一个法国藉英王的加冕礼 since the year 1066,
请拨本台热线 谈谈你最爱的十样法国事物 call here at London FM with the top ten things you most love about the French.
我们暂时还没接到听众电话 We haven 't had any calls yet, uh, at all,
我们的热线在等待 号码是... but the lines are still open and I'll give you that number again
0207... 0-2-0-7. Zero, deux, Zero, sept.
强尼 情形不妙 This is not good, Johnny.
我们得想个办法 We've got to think of something.
等等 我有办法了 Wait a minute. I've got an idea.
跳 Hop! Hop!
再跳 停 And hop! And hop! And stop!
你知道吗 危地马拉三角地带的... Now, are you familiar...
萨满教徒运用颤音唱歌 with the shaman throat warblers of the Guatemalan delta?
什么 What?
他们一直相信... It has long been their belief...
当口哨的频率与锁芯的频率相同时... that a whistle pitched at the precise resonant frequency of a metal lock...
引起的共振会把锁舌打开 will vibrate the levers in such a way that the door will simply swing open.
难以置信 Unbelievable.
跪下 And kneel.
好了 我开始了 Right. Here goes.
我什么也听不到 I can't hear anything.
我在用超声波 I'm into ultrasonic.
你就不能停下面对现实吗? Johnny, will you just stop all this and face facts?
我们失败了 We've failed.
能救我们的只有奇迹 The only thing that can save us now is a miracle.
成功了 It worked!
长官 Sir?
勃夫 真弄不懂你干嘛要从臭管子爬上来 I don't know why you hauled yourself up that dreadful poo tube, Bough,
不是有梯子吗 when there was a perfectly good ladder right beside it.
沙维奇可能已经利用假的大主教 Now, Sauvage may have fooled the country...
骗了全国 with his fake archbishop and his secret agenda,
但他骗不了我 but he hasn't fooled me.
计划是这样的 So, here's the plan.
诸位 你们今天将在此见证 Sirs, you are hereby called to witness the anointing...
你们的主人和未来的国王—沙维奇接受洗礼 of your one true lord and future king Pascal.
帕斯卡 Pascal,
你同意宣誓吗 are you willing to take the oath?
我愿意 I am willing.
我现以圣油... Then be thou anointed...
为你洗礼 with this holy oil.
英格兰 苏格兰 威尔士推选出的主教们 And do you, the chosen bishops of England, Scotland and Wales,
你们同意洗礼吗 ascent to this anointing?
苏格兰同意 For Scotland, I do.
威尔士同意 For Wales, I do.
英格兰 不同意 For England, I do not!
英格利西!? English!?
这人不能接受加冕 因为他是... That man must not be crowned king because he is...
是可恶骗子 是贼 a fraudster, a charlatan and a thief.
别阻止他 让他说完 No, please. Let him speak.
就是他 帕斯卡·沙维奇 It is this man, Pascal Sauvage,
偷走了王冠 who stole the Crown Jewels,
逼迫女王退位... who forced the queen to abdicate...
并杀死了所有阻挡他的人 and who would kill anyone who got in his way.
够了 英格利西先生 It is the end, Herr English.
他欺骗了这个国家... He has cheated, conned and manipulated...
为了达到他自己的目的 this great country for his own ends.
他把你们都骗了 He's fooled you all!
还有 这个仪式也是假的... What's more, this whole ceremony is a sham...
因为站在你们面前的这个人... because that man standing in front of you...
不是坎特伯雷大主教 is not the archbishop of Canterbury.
英格利西 我劝你一句 别太过火了 English, a word ofadvice: Don't go there.
闭嘴 法国佬 我爱怎样就怎样 Shut it, Frenchy. I'll go wherever I damn well please.
-摘下来 -摘什么? - Now take it off. - What?
你的塑料面具 Your face is made of plastic.
现在就摘下来 Remove it at once.
我不知道你在说什么 I have no idea what you're talking about.
好吧 Right.
那我就亲自动手了 Well, I'll just have to remove it myself.
下来 Come on!
可能是从前面拉 Maybe it pulls up from the front.
下来啊 Come on, you!
啊哈 非常感谢 Aaah! Thank you very much.
肯定有个接口 Must be a join here somewhere.
精彩的表演 英格利西先生 Fascinating performance as always, Monsieur English,
但我们必须继续进行 but I'm afraid we must move on.
在我跟这个贱人了结前 Nobody's moving anywhere until I'm finished...
谁也不许动 with this piece of low-life.
你的屁股上是不是... Do you or do you not...
绣着纹身... have tattooed on your bottom the words,
耶酥来了 看上去挺忙 "Jesus is coming, look busy?"
你有病啊 Are you insane?
让我秀给大家看 好吧? Well, let's find out, shall we?
转过去 Go on, over.
来吧 让我们看一看 Go on, let's have a look.
太精彩了 Excellent!
看来 All right,
我把大主教的屁股弄错了 so I was wrong about the archbishop's bottom.
但 还有 But there's more.
恐怕今天什么都没有了 But not, I'm afraid, today.
把这个人带走 Sergeant, please take this man away.
-对他客气点儿 -你以为这就完了 - But be gentle with him. - Do you think that's it?
你以为我就没证据了 You think I don't have more evidence?
我的部下有一张DVD... My loyal subordinate is standing by with a DVD...
里面录下了沙维奇的丑恶计划 which shows Sauvage's hideous plans for this country.
弄出去 把他弄出去 Get him out! Get him out of here!
播 勃夫 播放碟片 Play it, Bough! Play the disk!
马上播放 立刻 Play it! Now!
你是那么热辣地戏弄我 You're so hot teasing me
你现在有点郁闷 So you're blue,
可我上哪找你这样的姑娘 but I can't take a chance on a chick like you
有些事我不能做 It's something' I couldn't do
要是能让你高兴 咱们来跳个舞 Well, I can dance with you, honey if you think it's funny
你妈妈知道你出去了吗 Does your mother know that you're out
跟你一起高呼 跟你打情骂俏 And I could shout with you, baby. Flirt a little, maybe
你妈妈知道你出去了吗 Does your mother know that you're out
放松点 - Take it easy. - Take it easy
慢慢来 现在已无路可去 Better slow down, girl. That's no way to go
你妈妈知道你出去了吗? Does your mother know
可以继续了吗 Well, shall we?
正如所罗门接受牧师沙都克和... Then as Solomon was anointed king...
先知内森之圣油被封为王 by Zadok the priest and Nathan the prophet,
圣油赐予汝... so be thou anointed...
众人之... and consecrated king...
圣君... over all the peoples...
上帝赐予汝... whom the Lord thy God...
管治众人之力量... hath given thee to govern...
及所有之财产 and of all your possessions,
无论在哪 wherever they may be.
现在 以圣父... And so, in the name of the Father...
圣子... and of the Son...
以及圣灵之名 and of the Holy Ghost,
我加冕你... I crown you.
该死 Damn it!
-还给我 -不 - Give it back! - No!
-那是我的王冠 -永远不会 - That is my crown! - Never!
-还给我 -永远别想 沙维奇 - Give it back! - Never in a million years, Sauvage!
-还给我 -别碰 - Give it to me! - Get off.
还给我 Give it back!
-停手 -闭嘴! - Stop! - Shut up!
这愚蠢的小国只要规规矩矩... All this stupid little country have to do is stand in line...
照我的说话做一天就行了 and do what it's told for one miserable day!
但它能做到吗? But can it do that?
我那香喷喷的法国屁股说 它能 My fragrant French ass says: "it can!"
废物 Merde!
交出王冠 戴上 快 Give it! The crown, eh? The crown! Go!
现在 以圣父... And so, in the name ofthe Father...
圣子 以及圣灵之名 and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost,
我加冕你... I crown you...
为王 king.
怎么是这样 What.
逮捕那个人 Arrest that man...
关起来 and lock him away.
英国国歌 《天佑吾王》
天佑吾王 万寿无疆 God save the king. Long live the king.
天佑吾王 God save the king.
阿门 Amen, amen...
阿门 哈利路亚 Amen, amen, hallelujah
阿门 Amen
天佑吾王 God save the king.
对你的所做的一切 言语无法表达出我的感激之情 Words can hardly express just how much we appreciate everything you've done.
陛下 这是我的职责 Nothing more than my duty, ma'am.
作为回报 女王和国家能为你做点什么吗 And in return, is there anything that your queen and country can do for you?
那么 Well,
既然你开了金口 陛下... Since one is asking, ma'am.
为庆祝重登王位 The headlines again. In celebration of her return to the throne,
女王宣布8月5日为全国的节日... the queen has declared August 5th a national holiday...
并授予一位无名的军情七处特工爵士称号 and has conferred a knighthood on the unnamed MI7 agent...
奖励其挫败了法国奸商帕斯卡·沙维奇的阴谋 responsible for foiling the plot ofFrench businessman Pascal Sauvage.
沙维奇正等着以叛国罪被审讯 Mr Sauvage is now awaiting trial for high treason,
这是唯一会获死刑的罪名 a crime which still carries the death penalty.
一旦罪名成立 他的大脑将会被用于医学研究... If found guilty, he's asked that his brain be donated to medical science...
以进一步研究狂躁精神分裂症的病因 to further research into the causes of hyper manic schizophrenia.
同时 那位无名的特工已离开了祖国... Meanwhile, the unnamed English agent has left the country...
开始他的下一项任务 and has already embarked on his next challenging mission.
法国南部某处
英格利西爵士 Sir Johnny English.
看来女王陛下对我很满意 Her Majesty did seem very grateful.
对你满意的可不止她一个 She's not the only one.
你总是让人惊喜 You are full of surprises.
强尼 Johnny!