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接下来请欣赏 And now...
来自梦工厂的《功夫熊猫：盖世传奇》 Dreamworks' Kung Fu Panda: Legends of Awesomeness
*请听功夫熊猫的传奇故事* *Hear the legends of the Kung Fu Panda*
*他在面馆长大* *Raised in a noodle shop*
*从未想当大侠* *Never seeking glory or fame*
*一朝登得凌绝顶* *He climbed a mountaintop*
*神龙之名冠天下* *And earned the dragon warrior name*
*功夫熊猫* *Kung Fu Panda*
*师父慧眼识英杰* *Master Shifu saw the warrior blossom*
*艺高胆大震奸邪* *And master the skills of bodacious and awesome*
*功夫熊猫* *Kung Fu Panda*
*他终日苦练* *He lives, and he trains*
*和盖世五侠并肩作战* *And he fights with the Furious Five *
*保护着 保护着山谷生灵* *Protect the valley somethin', somethin' *
*免遭涂炭* *Somethin', somethin' alive*
*功夫熊猫* *Kung Fu Panda*
*盖世传奇* *Legends of awesomeness*
漂亮 Sweet.
公主与阿宝
翻译：MADD 校对：Joanna 后期：鱼骨头
美丽公主此次和平之行的安全 Princess Mei-li's peace mission
极其重要 is of the utmost importance.
我们不能出任何差错 阿宝 We can't afford any mistakes, Po.
你为啥从来不说 How come you never say,
"我们不能出任何差错 虎妞" 或者是 "We can't afford any mistakes, Tigress" or--
哇 小面摊 Ooh, noodle rolls!
你必须要把美丽公主 You have to get Princess Mei-li
安全护送到契丹国王那里 safely to the King of the Qidon.
也许她只是个孩子 可她也是王室成员 She may be only a child, but she is royalty.
这么说 So...
她只是个小公主咯 She's a kid princess.
哇 这任务就是为我量身打造的 Oh, man, I am perfect for this gig!
因为要说我最喜欢什么 答案是小孩子 'Cause if there's one thing I love, it's kids.
要说谁最喜欢我 答案... And if there's one thing that loves me, it's...
还是小孩子 also kids.
可她还是个公主 But she's also a princess.
有严格的礼仪要求 There's a strict protocol.
目光不能有接触 Never make eye contact,
和她说话时态度要谦卑顺从 always address her with deference,
除非万不得已 否则要避免肢体接触 and avoid touching unless absolutely necessary.
要是她想抱抱我这位盖世大侠呢 What if she wants to hug my sheer awesomeness?
住手 Stop it!
不许碰这些御用丝绸 Do not touch the royal silks.
吻我的脚 Kiss my feet!
但得先洗洗 But wash them first.
好萌啊 Cute!
你怎么敢让我等这么久 How dare you keep me waiting?
我可是公主 I am a princess!
要是有下次 小心你们的项上人头 If this happens again, I shall have you all beheaded.
好耶 大家都砍头 Yeah! Behead everyone!
谁要 啊 Who's with-- oh!
你这不懂规矩的奴才 Insolent jiggly mess.
你弄坏了我的王室权杖 You broke my imperial staff!
不对啊 是你弄坏的 Nuh-uh. You broke it.
你竟敢说我在骗人 You dare accuse me of lying?
把他给我斩了 斩立决 I want him executed! At once!
不许看我 Don't you look at me.
不许看我 Don't you look at me!
不许看 Don't.
大胆 Hey!
公主殿下 Your imperial highness,
这位就是神龙大侠 this is the dragon warrior.
幸会 幸会啊 殿下 Nice to meet you, your highness.
我估计我还是需要你 胖墩墩 I guess I need you, butterball.
所以我不打算要你的脑袋了 So I won't have you executed...
暂时不要了 yet!
谁让你们坐下的 Who said you could sit?
她还有点儿小脾气 对吧 She's feisty, huh?
我记得你说过小孩子都喜欢你的 I thought you said kids loved you.
不是没可能啊 It could happen.
只不过她还需要一些鼓励 She just needs a little encouragement.
你俩觉得我搞不定吗 Oh, you think I can't do it?
没哪个小孩儿能拒绝神龙大侠的 There is no child that can resist the dragon warrior.
我就是个黑白操场上的游乐沙坑 I'm like a sandbox in a black-and-white playground
只不过面上有毛而已 covered in fur.
我跟你俩赌一次足部按摩 I'll bet you both a foot massage
等我们到了契丹的时候 that by the time we get to Qidon,
她肯定会离不开我的 she'll be eating out of my hand.
-我跟了 -我也跟了 - I'm in. - Me, too.
等着瞧吧 我可是神龙大侠 You'll see. I'm the dragon warrior.
小孩子都喜欢神龙大侠 Kids love the dragon warrior.
瞧好了 Watch this.
殿下 Oh, your highness!
你好 小公主 Hi, there, Princess.
我的名字叫阿小宝 My name is Mr. Baby Po.
我给你做了个小玩偶哦 I made you a puppet.
好了 奴才们 上路吧 Okay, peasants, let's get going.
伙计们 来了 Gentlemen, there it goes.
大笔大笔的黄金 美玉 丝绸 Loads of gold, jade, fabrics--
哇 丝绸 Ooh, fabrics.
还有黄金 And gold.
先生们 伙计们 Gentlemen...and gah-ri,
那个戴王冠的小丫头就是下一个目标 that brat with the crown is our next target.
快走啊 Let's go!
快点儿 快点儿 快点儿 Move it. Move it. Move it.
公主殿下 开始下雨了 Your highness, it's starting to rain.
该死的乌云 You stupid clouds!
我不会放过你的 You are going to be in so much trouble.
走快点儿 别乱晃 Faster. Quit bouncing.
抬高点儿 慢点儿 Carry me higher. Slow down.
阿宝 至少她还是挺喜欢你的礼物的 Well, Po, at least she likes your present.
-喂 -怎么了 - Whoa! - What?
小心 Look out!
她手里拿着爆竹 She's got fire poppers.
最有意思的就是 And the best part is,
阿宝怎么样都不会厌烦 that'll never, ever get annoying.
嗨 公主那个什么殿下 Hey, there, your high, uh, princessness.
你能不能 那啥 Could you kind of, you know,
别把这玩意儿往我朋友身上扔 quit chucking those things at my friends?
多谢了 Appreciate it.
这样吧 So anyway...
看我找到了啥 Look what I found.
麻将 Mah-jongg,
史上最赞的骨牌游戏 the most awesome tile-based game ever.
那围棋呢 六博呢[古代棋种] Weiqi? Liubo?
四国棋呢 Si guo qi?
拜托 Come on!
你要是不喜欢游戏 那喜欢啥啊 If you don't like games, what do you like?
你跟公主已经很铁了吗 You and the princess buddies yet?
还得有个过程 It's a process.
嗨 公主殿下 想听个好玩的笑话吗 Hey, your highness, want to hear a funny joke?
估计是不想 Guess not.
公主 Princess!
公主 看上面 Yo, Princess, up here!
没错 孩子们挺喜欢你的 Yeah, kids love you.
嗯 看出来了 Right. I see it.
为什么我们还没到 Why aren't we there yet?
走得再快些 Make the ground move faster!
不许看着我 Don't you look at me!
现在是突袭的绝佳机会 Now's our chance to attack,
因为命运让我们这些强者 for it is the destiny of we the strong
来征服他们这些弱者 to conquer they the weak
凭借我们的力量 掳走他们 and, by dint of force, to take from them
最珍贵的宝物 that which they hold most precious.
我能去嘘嘘吗 Do I have time to pee?
不行 No!
好吧 动作快点儿 Well, if you hurry. Just--
你觉得公主会喜欢小丑吗 Do you think the princess likes clowns?
你看着不像小丑 阿宝 You don't look like a clown, Po.
你看着像女的 You look like a lady.
-停住 -怎么了 - Stop! - What is it?
我不知道 有情况 I don't know. Something.
除了我 谁也不许喊"停住" No one is allowed to yell "stop" but me.
我要砍掉你们的脑袋 I'll have you beheaded.
我要砍掉你们所有人的脑袋 I'll have all of you beheaded!
我要让你们自己砍自己脑袋 I'll make you behead yourselves!
有劫匪 Bandits!
看起来我们得来硬的了 Looks like we're going to do this the hard way.
你们几个负责老虎和虫子 You guys, take the tiger and the bug.
这个小丑就交给我了 I'll handle the clown.
看吧 我确实看着像小丑 See? I do look like a clown.
我要再去嘘一次 I gotta pee again.
压迫得分 Pressure points.
希望你接下来几天用不着手臂 Hope you don't need that arm for the next couple days.
该死 Darn it all!
下次再说吧 Not this time.
哇 你在... Ow! What are you--
别打了 Stop fighting.
我要吃甜豆馅儿的炸米团 I want fried rice balls stuffed with sweet bean paste.
哇 我也喜欢 Oh, my gosh, I love those.
可我们现在不能停手啊 But we can't stop fighting right now,
公主殿下 your imperial highness, ma'am.
你居然敢碰王室成员 You dare touch the royal personage?
我可是美丽公主 I am the Princess Mei-li,
我命令你去给我弄炸米团 and I command you to give me fried rice balls.
拿着 米团 Here. Rice balls.
待这儿别动 你不会有事的 Now stay here. You'll be safe.
我不喜欢这些炸米团 I don't like these fried rice balls.
甜豆馅儿太少了 They need more bean paste.
稍等片刻 In a minute!
马上 Now!
我还要甜豆馅 More bean paste!
阿宝 Po!
放我下去 Get me down!
待那儿别动 Now stay there.
你不会有事的 You'll be safe.
我的红豆馅儿在哪儿 Where is my red bean paste?
你想来这个吗 You want some of this?
刚才好险啊 对吧 That was close, huh?
动作慢了吧 笨蛋 Later, losers.
放我下去 Get me down!
马上 Now!
把你的手拿开 Get your hands off me.
全被他们抢走了 吃的也是 They got everything, including all the food.
不要啊 Nooooo!
只剩下一罐水了 All that remains is a single jug of water.
我的王冠上有灰 My crown was dusty.
我渴了 I'm thirsty.
做炸米团的红豆馅在哪儿呢 And where is my bean paste for my fried rice balls?
你们这帮大侠太不称职了 You stink as a warrior!
你们本来是要保护我的 You're supposed to protect me.
没错 公主 Yes, Princess.
还有你 And you!
我都不好意思拿你当鱼饵 I wouldn't even use you for bait.
说的是 公主 Yes, Princess.
放过他们 Leave them alone.
死胖子 Puddle-belly!
我的东西都没了 这都是你的错 My stuff is gone, and it's all your fault.
我的错 My fault?
居然是我的错 It's my fault?
你都不肯待在树上 You wouldn't stay in the tree.
你放走了那帮劫匪 You let the bandits get away.
你倒空了我们最后的一罐水 You dumped out the last of our water.
你还责备了我的朋友 And you picked on my friends.
你这大胆的奴才 Oh! How dare you?
我敢这么大胆是因为错了就是错了 I dare because when something's wrong, it's wrong.
我才不管你有多么尊贵 I don't care how royal highnessy you are.
你又刻薄又恶劣又跋扈又顽皮 You are mean, rotten, bossy, and bratty,
谁都不喜欢你 and nobody likes you.
我心里好受多了 In my mind, that was cooler.
你说的都是大实话 老兄 You spoke the truth, buddy.
这是你这辈子最大的错误 不过多谢了 Worst mistake of your life but appreciated.
这一路上都挺有意思的 Well, this trip has been fun.
今晚就在这儿露营吧 We'll camp here for the night.
嗯 至少还有不少的土能吃 Yeah, at least there's lots of dirt to eat.
你好啊 Oh, hello.
没看见你坐在这块木头上 Didn't see you there on this...log.
那 既然我过来了 So, hey, uh, since I'm here,
我来给你讲个故事吧 let me tell you a story.
虚构的哈 It's made up.
就是那种 It's, like, you know,
那种比喻性的啊寓言性的故事 one of those metaphorical, parable-olical things
都是编出来的 that's, you know, made up.
我是说 跟现实情况没啥关系 I mean, it's not based on anything real...ish.
总之呢 So, anyway,
就是有只熊猫带着一位公主在旅行 this panda is taking this princess on a journey,
即使他竭尽全力 and even though he does everything he can
来让她开心 让她平安 to keep her happy and safe,
她还是有点儿 刻薄 she's just kind of...mean.
是那种非常刻薄 Like, really mean.
然后我努力 我是说 那只熊猫很努力 And I tried-- that is, the panda tried hard
跟他的朋友说他能让你喜欢我 and told his friends that he could get you to like me.
我是说 让她喜欢他 不是我 I mean, her--him--her like him, not me.
他 呃 他 Him--he--ah.
总之呢 他还是失败了 Anyway, he failed.
不 是我失败了 No, I failed.
所以我得把真相告诉你 So I kind of had to tell you the truth
即使考虑到大家都要活下去 even though it's not the best idea
这不是最好的主意 in terms of, I don't know, staying alive.
我有努力过 I was just trying.
这个故事的寓意就是 And, well, the moral of the story is--
你有没有闻到什么东西烧着了 Do you smell something burning?
你 你把它修好了 You--you fixed it.
你的脚没事吧[你的脚好了吧] Is your foot okay?
啊 如果你喜欢五分熟熊猫掌的话 Ugh, if you like medium rare.
你以为我不知道大家都不喜欢我吗 You think I don't know nobody likes me?
有些人装得很像 Some of them pretend to,
但都只是因为我是个公主 but it's just because I'm a princess.
我一直都没有朋友 I never have any friends--
真正的朋友 不像你 Not real friends, like you have,
有小虫子 like the cricket
有那个满身斑纹的凶女人 and that mean man with the stripes.
你现在有朋友了 You have a friend now.
玩偶吗 The puppet?
不啊 是我 Duh! Me.
真的吗 Really?
对啊 为啥不行 Yeah, why not?
只要你不砍我的脑袋 As long as you don't chop my head off.
我怎么知道你不是另有所图呢 How do I know you don't just want something from me?
你开什么玩笑 Are you kidding?
那帮劫匪这么一抢 你啥都没有了 After that bandit attack, you don't have anything.
那说好咯 It's a deal.
那愿不愿意输给我一盘麻将啊 So care to lose a game of mah-jongg?
我才不会输 我要先出牌 而且 I never lose. And I go first, and--
我是说 你想先出吗 I mean, would you like to go first?
谢谢你 公主 Well, thank you, Princess.
可你还是会输 You're still going to lose.
做你的美梦吧 Dream on.
为了骑手 For the rider!
这是公主风格 It's princess style.
慢点儿 慢点儿 Easy, now. Easy.
啊 我们要撞上那棵树了 Ah, we're going to hit that tree!
到底是公主在笑 还是我不正常了 Uh, is the princess laughing, or am I crazy?
二者兼而有之 I'm thinking both.
契丹国 我们到了 The Qidon. We're there.
-看起来 -好丑 - It looks-- - Smelly.
我本来想说"好挫"的 I was going to say "stanky,"
不过咱俩意思差不多啦 but I think we're on the same page here.
我们成功了 We made it.
好了 All right.
过去敲门吧 Go ahead and knock.
你觉得他们会有甜豆馅儿的炸米团吗 You think they have any fried rice balls stuffed with bean paste?
那就太好了 That would be great.
真好 你们在她后半生 It's so nice that you've given her a little happiness
都得给契丹王当仆人之前 before she becomes the Qidon king's servant
给了她些许快乐 for the rest of her life.
其实吧 我 Well, I--
你刚才说的是"仆人"吗 Did you say "servant"?
当然 Of course.
所以我们才要来这儿 It's why we came here.
我们只知道这是一个和平任务 We were told this was a peace mission.
没错 It is.
我们把美丽交给契丹王 We're giving Mei-li to the Qidon King
来换取和平 in exchange for peace.
我们和契丹之间已经腥风血雨地 A terrible and deadly war raged for decades
打了几十年仗了 between us and the Qidon.
只有献出一位公主 It was only by the offer of a princess,
一位愿意救黎民于水火 one who would shoulder the burden of her people
承担繁重劳作的公主 战争才能歇止 in tortuous labor, that the war was ended,
这是一个艰难而无奈的安排 a difficult but unavoidable arrangement.
每隔几年 契丹王都要一位新公主 Every few years, the king is given a new princess,
因为公主们都活不长 for none of them last that long.
不行 No!
我们得把她带走 We've got to get her out of here.
进来 Enter!
为了让一个王室仆人给我擦盔甲 Well, I've waited weeks to have my armor scrubbed
我已经等了好久了 by a royal servant.
把公主带上来 Bring me the princess...
把我的新仆人带上来 My new servant.
什么 What?
我再说一遍 你听好 Once more, for clarity.
把公主交给我 Give me the princess!
好吧 All righty.
给你 Here you go.
啥 What?
哦 对 Oh, uh, yes.
我就是公主 I am the princess.
我的公主 My, my, princess.
你能不能 Please, won't you do
唱公主仪仗舞曲给我听 the ceremonial princess dancing song for me?
仪仗舞曲 Uh, ceremonial dancing song?
快唱公主舞曲 Do the princess dancing song!
*公主* *Princess*
*仪仗舞啊* *Ceremony dan--*
*舞啊* *Dance of the--*
*仪仗舞* *Ceremony dance*
*公主* *Princess--*
停下 Stop!
你以为我傻吗 Do you think I'm stupid?
有点儿 A little.
你错了 Well, I'm not.
而且我还很没耐心 I'm also not patient!
快把她交给我 Hand her over now!
不行 抱歉 I can't. Sorry.
不行 我做不到 No way. Can't do it.
就是肯定不给咯 So be it.
这些家伙皮好厚 These guys are tough.
住手 Stop!
我不会让你们为我送命 I won't let you risk your lives for me.
契丹大王 King of the Qidon,
我 美丽公主 愿意把自己交给你 I, Princess Mei-li, surrender myself to you.
什么 不要 What? No!
我别无选择 阿宝 I have to, Po.
我接受了 I accept this offering.
作为交换 我保证和平无战 In exchange, I promise peace.
好了 你们可以滚了 Right, let's start with "get out."
给她上锁链 Put her in chains.
等等 Wait!
怎么了 What is it?
我们打个赌怎么样 Let's...make a deal.
我来对阵你挑的任何一位战士 I'll fight any warrior you choose.
我要是赢了 公主就跟我们回去 If I win, the princess returns home with us.
我要是输了 我和她都留下 If I lose, you get her and me.
不行 Pass.
等下 等下 Hang on! Hang on.
别急着答复 因为还有 Don't answer yet, 'cause there's more.
我还要拉上虎妞大侠 I will also throw in Master Tigress
还有 等下 今日特供的 and--wait for it-- today only,
螳螂大侠 Master Mantis.
我们现在在干嘛 We're doing what, now?
我为啥要跟你打这个赌 Why would I want to make a deal like this?
拜托 Come on!
能让神龙大侠当你的私人仆从 You'd have the dragon warrior as your own personal servant.
那该有多拉风啊 Wouldn't that be awesome?
你就是神龙大侠 You're the dragon warrior?
不可能 No way!
他确实是 真的 He is, really.
没错 我之前也死活不信来着 Yeah, I had a hard time believing it too.
我曾经打遍天下无敌手 I defeated kung fu masters from across the land.
但是打败神龙大侠并让他当我的仆从 But to beat the dragon warrior and have him as my servant?
我接受挑战 I accept your challenge.
准备开打 Prepare to fight!
特木台 契丹国的战神 Temutai, warrior king of the Qidon!
我一直以为特木台只是个传说 I thought Temutai was a myth.
据说他的功夫已经强大到 They say his kung fu is so strong,
隔空将对手撕成两半 he can tear an opponent in half without even touching him.
太赞了 That is awesome.
或者说看起来会很赞 Or it would be, to watch.
我不许这样 I won't allow this.
你没得选 坐下 You don't have a choice. Sit down!
感觉很走运对吧 Feeling lucky, huh?
等着瞧吧 'Cause here it comes.
我可是会神龙大侠式的哦 I got dragon warrior style.
你跟我想象中的神龙大侠不一样 You're not what I expected from the dragon warrior.
我知道 I get that a lot.
等着接受我的全力攻击吧 But wait till you experience my full bodacity.
你要不要花一分钟来热身还是... Do you need to take a minute to warm up or...
不用了 No.
准备好迎接第二波进攻 Just getting my second wind.
这更像 That's more like--
我还活着吗 Am I alive?
阿宝 这家伙个子太大了 Po, this guy's too big.
你不能用熊猫式来打他 You can't fight him panda style.
我不知道别的方式了 Don't know another style.
那你最好现想一个 Well, you better figure one out!
米袋式吗 Sack of rice style?
你能赢的 阿宝 You can beat him, Po.
我知道你能行 I know you can.
多谢了 公主 Oh, thanks, Princess,
可我 but I--
对了 Hey!
公主式 Princess style!
这边 往左 This way. Left here.
加油 阿宝 加油 Do it, Po! Do it!
打完收工 Big finish!
哦也 Oh, yeah!
谁才是赢家 Who's got the moves?
你 You.
是你 You do.
那我们可以带着公主离开 So we can leave with the princess,
你也会履行息战的诺言 对吧 and you'll keep your promise of peace, right?
对 Yes.
我们还需要一样东西 Oh! We need one more thing.
炸米团真好吃 Awesome fried rice balls.
对啊 Yeah.
他们的豆馅儿配得正好 老友 Oh, they got the bean paste just right, buddy.
说得对 老友 That's right, buddy.
等等 等等 Hold on. Wait. Hold on. Wait.
要是我们只拿黄金和美玉 What if we just take the gold and jade
把丝绸都留下呢 but we leave the fabric?
等下 这就是... Wait, all right, this is what--
我来拿丝绸吧 I'll carry the fabric.
那种图案的 真的很难找 That pattern? Really hard to find.
你们这帮蠢货倒是很好找 Unlike you idiots.
该死 Darn it!
快跑 Run!
你们俩啊 You guys.
开玩笑呢吧 Seriously?
拜托 Come on.
真是丢人现眼 This is just embarrassing.