It's amazing people keep coming to comic book stores
instead of just downloading comics digitally.
It's probably for the best.
For a lot of these guys,the weekly trip here is the only chance their mom has to go down
to the basement and change their sheets.
Oh,that reminds me,I get fresh sheets tonight.Yay.
Well?What do you think of New Comic Book Night?
Magic,huh?
Sheldon,I'm disappointed.
As a brilliant man,you're entitled to a vice.
I could understand frequenting an opium den or hunting your fellow man for sport.
But this?
Lame-o.
Well,A) Comic books employ storytelling through sequential art,
an medium that dates back 17,000 years to the cave paintings of Lascaux,
and B) You play the harp.
Like that's cool.
Can I help you find anything?
A comic that depicts a woman whose bosom can't be used as a flotation device.
Sorry.Most of the guys who come in here like big boobs.
Couple of them have big boobs.
Hey,look,the new Warlords of Ka'a expansion pack is out.
A new one?Unbelievable.
They just keep making up more cheesy monsters,
slapping them on cards and selling them at 25 bucks a pop.
It's like a secret tax on guys who can't get laid.
They're not even trying.
Remember the Satanimals pack with the Hellephant?
Why,absurd.
What was he,a bad elephant who died and went to hell?
What could an elephant possibly do that would cause him eternal damnation?
"Wild West and Witches"?
What kind of loser cares about a showdown between Billy the Kid and the White Wizard of the North?
***
A total loser.
Obviously,a guy with a six-shooter beats an old man with a magic wand.
Well,h-hold on.
Uh,what if the wizard casts a Helmet of Confusion spell on Billy the Kid's cowboy hat?
What?Please!
This is Billy the Kid we're talking about.
I mean,the wizard would get shot between the eyes before he could ever get out the words,
"What the hell is Billy the Kid doing in the mystic realm of Ka'a?"
Leonard... What's the deal with Sheldon's friend Amy?
Are they a couple?
Couple of weirdos.Why?
You interested in Amy?
Well,I mean,she didn't look through me with soul-sucking, ball-shriveling hatred and contempt.
I like that in a woman.
Could you run it by Sheldon if I could ask her out?
Sure.I guess.
Stuart,settle an argument for us.
Who would win,Billy the Kid or the White Wizard?
If I tell you that,I'm robbing you of the hours of fun
you could have for the magical,rootin'-tootin' low price of $24.95.
I'll take one.
Mm... make it two.
I hate all of you and myself.
Three.
I'll ring it up.
Like shooting nerds in a barrel
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the big bang theoryN NSeason05Episode10
Hey,can I talk to you about something?
It's a little awkward.
I know what this is about.
Given the professional standstill you're at,
you're wondering if this is the appropriate time to abandon your research and focus on teaching.
Yes.
And if I may suggest,consider changing disciplines.
Yeah,to the humanities - perhaps history.
One of the advantages of teaching history is that you don't have to create things.
You know,you just have to remember stuff that happened and then parrot it back.
You could have fun with that.
Yeah,that's not it.
Stuart's kind of interested in Amy.
Oh,of course he is.
She's very interesting.
Did you know,when she was 14,she severed the webbing between her own toes?
No.
He wanted me to find out if you'd have a problem with him asking her out.
I'm not sure how to respond,Leonard.
I don't own Amy.
Can't own a person.
At least not since...
1863.
President Lincoln freed the...
Slaves!
Come on,Leonard,if you're going to teach history,
these are the kind of facts you'll have to know.
You know what?Never mind.I'm going to tell him it's okay to ask her out.
The question is moot.
There is no way that Stuart,an impoverished peddler of picture books,
would be at all appealing to Amy Farrah Fowler,
a noted neurobiologist capable of performing surgery on her own feet with nothing
but nitrous oxide from cans of whipped cream as anesthesia.
All right,but for the record,I checked in with you to see how you'd feel about it.
Fine.
The record shall so reflect.
Now,getting back to the problem at hand,what to do with a washed-up experimental physicist...
I am not washed-up.
Oh,Leonard.
Lots of people love you and want to help you,but they can't until you admit the problem.
Well,ladies,we killed the bottle.
I had half a glass.
I didn't have any.
Okay,don't judge me.
So,what do you want to do - go to the movies,go dancing,lay down for a little bit?
Or we play...
Travel Twister.
Amy,really?Twister?
Excuse me.
I've passed many an enjoyable evening playing this game.
And I'm sure it's a lot more exciting when you play with other people.
What do you say,bestie?We can do shirts and skins.
I'm shirts.Called it.
I'm too small for Twister.
And roller coasters.
And sitting with my feet on the floor.
Hope you enjoyed the prenatal cigarettes,Mom.
Hey,you know,my mom smoked pot when she was pregnant with me,and I turned out just fine.
Hey,look,I have peach schnapps.Thank God.
Guys,something happened.
What's wrong?
I think a boy likes me.
"Hi. It's Stuart.
"We met at the comic book store.
"I was wondering if you'd like "to get coffee sometime.
"It's okay if you say no.
"It might be the kick in the pants I need to start taking Zoloft."
***
Amy,little vixen.
Just working it under all those layers of wool and polyester.
What are you going to do?
Doesn't he know you have a boyfriend?
Oh,she doesn't have a boyfriend; she has a Sheldon.
So do you like Stuart?
I don't know.
He's nice.He's funny.
He has the sallow,drawn countenance associated with an overactive thyroid gland.
That's kind of hot.
Okay,look,sweetie,we all love Sheldon,but you've been with him over a year now.
If it's not going anywhere,what does it hurt to look around?
Well,yeah,I guess they're not engaged like me and Howie.
Yeah,for what it's worth,engaged people can look around,too.
Lot of options out there.
Where's Stuart?
Out.
Who are you?
I'm Dale.He left me in charge.
Really?
Yeah.
I don't get it,either.
I want to return this "Wild West and Witches" Ka'a expansion pack.
Sorry.I don't do returns.
They're hard.
Sure,sure.
Uh,when will Stuart be back?
I don't know.He went out for coffee.
With a girl.
Oh,I guess I was wrong.
You okay?
Am I okay?
Leonard,I'm on a lifelong trajectory that includes a Nobel Prize and cities named after me,
all four wisdom teeth fit comfortably in my mouth without need of extraction,
and my bowel movements run like a German train schedule.
Am I okay?
I'm okay,too!
Wild Bill Witchcock.
A tribe of Abra-Comanches.
Flaming Spittoon.
And for the record,I'm very disappointed in you cowpokes.
We're playing our inaugural round of "Wild West and Witches,"
and I'm the only one who bothered to dress for the occasion.
Patooie.
We're not wearing cowboy hats,Sheldon.
It looks ridiculous.
And I suppose my boots and spurs are ridiculous,too?
- Yeah.- Very.- Incredibly so.
Did it look ridiculous when we got the Satanimals pack and I dressed up as a Beelzebobcat?
- Yeah.- Very.- Incredibly so.
All right,fine.Let's just play.
We should go easy on him.
Amy's out with Stuart tonight.
Wait a minute.Are you telling me that Sheldon's patented blend of condescension
and no sex isn't enough to hold on to a woman?
Cluck,cluck,cluck.What are we,ladies at a quilting bee?
Or are we men playing a fantasy card game set in a magical frontier town?
Sorry. Creepy Tepee.
Annie Ogly.
Hocus Pocus Pocahontas.
And may I point out it is the three of you who are obsessed with Stuart and Amy,not me.
I think you need to ask yourselves who's really being ridiculous here.
- It's you.- You are.- Totally you.
Hey,guys,check it out.
The deluxe limited edition "Wild West and Witches"
expansion pack in the signed and numbered collector's tin.
Come on,no!
We just bought the regular pack.
Ooh,a sheriff's badge.
Yeah,it's also a wand.
With a hologram?Nice!
Hey,do you see this?
I'm in the matrix,Leonard; I see everything.
You got to be kidding me.
You friended Stuart on Facebook?
I thought you didn't like Facebook anymore.
Don't be silly.
I'm a fan of anything that tries to replace actual human contact.
Please.
You're looking at Facebook to find out how their date went.
Really?
You think I care if a man,what,"shared a pumpkin latte with a dynamite lady"?
You're so full of it.
You are free to believe whatever you like.
And unfriend Rajesh Koothrappali.
You unfriended me?Seriously?
Oh,yeah.
Now he's gonna miss all those great updates like,
"I can't believe I waited this long to make my own potpourri""
Sheldon,why don't you just acknowledge that you have feelings for Amy
and you don't want her going out with other men?
And unfriend Leonard Hofstadter.
Here's a radical thought.
Go old-school,challenge Stuart to a fight.
I mean,nothing makes the ladies hotter
than two skinny white guys swatting at each other with their eyes closed.
And unfriend Howard Wolowitz.
- That's all of us.Can I use the laptop? - Why?
I have to buy that stupid collector's tin.
- Who do we love? - Penny.
Hello,Sheldon.
- Come on in. - Thank you.
What's up?
I came to ask if you would like to go on a date with me.
I'm sorry,what?
A date.You and me.
Dining,dancing,perhaps you'd like to take in a prizefight.
God,are you trying to make Amy jealous?
No.
Why is everyone so obsessed with Amy and Stuart?
Whether or not they may be having more pumpkin lattes or intercourse tonight.
Okay,listen to me.
Playing games is not gonna help get Amy back.
I am not trying to get her back.
But,out of curiosity,what is a way?
All right,honey,let me tell you a story.
There was a guy I liked,and I never told him how I felt.
Eventually,he started going out with someone else,and I always regretted it.
Do you see where I'm going with this?
I believe I do.
I'm the guy.
You're not the guy.
Are you sure?
That would explain so much.
Your constant presence in my apartment,
that baffling dalliance with Leonard just to be near me,
the way you call me "sweetie" all the time.
I call everyone "sweetie."
You tramp.
Look,Sheldon,all I'm saying is strap on a pair and go talk to Amy.
"Strap on a pair"?
Of what,skates?
***
Oh,sweetie,you are so not the guy.
If you're bored,you can go.I understand.
No,I'm having a nice time.
Don't patronize me.
Excuse me.Excuse me.
Pardon me. Pardon me.Excuse me.
- Hi,Stuart. - Hi,Sheldon.
Pardon me... Excuse me...
Sheldon,what are you doing here?
The thought of you sitting in a darkened theater with a character like Stuart is repellent.
No offense,Stuart.
None taken.
Although "repellent" is kind of a...
kind of a strong word.
I'm sorry this causes you discomfort,
but based on the currently established parameters of our relationship,
I can put myself in any repellent situation I want.
Um,again...
Stuart,please.You're being rude.
Anything else?
I believe I would like to alter the paradigm of our relationship.
I'm listening.
With the understanding that nothing changes whatsoever,physical or otherwise,
I would not object to us no longer characterizing you as "not my girlfriend.
" Interesting.
Now try it without the quadruple negative.
You're being impossible.
Hi,Stuart.
Fine. Amy...
will you be my girlfriend?
- Yes. - Well,that's enough of that.
Sorry to interrupt.
You two enjoy your date.
Here's a dollar for your troubles.
Get yourself some Sour Patch Kids.
Excuse me...Excuse me.. Pardon me... Excuse me. Pardon me.
So,other than you taking your relationship to the next level with another guy,this was nice.
Yes,well,thanks for seeing me to my door.
Oh,you're welcome.
Amy.Amy.Amy.
Let's wrap things up out there.
Um,good night,Stuart.
Good night.
Take the hint,Stuart.The lady said "Good night.
" How did you get into my apartment?
Is that the kind of nagging I can expect now that you're my girlfriend?
Good thing I drew this up.
What's that?
I present to you the relationship agreement.
A binding covenant that,in its 31 pages,enumerates,iterates
and codifies the rights and responsibilities of Sheldon Lee Cooper,
here and after known as "the boyfriend,"
and Amy Farrah Fowler,here and after known as "the girlfriend""
It's so romantic.
Mutual indemnification always is.
Why don't you start perusing while I set up my notary stamp.
"Section 5: Hand-holding.
"Hand-holding is only allowed "under the following circumstances.
"A: Either party is in danger of falling off a cliff,"precipice or ledge;
"B: Either party is deserving of a hearty handshake "after winning a Nobel Prize;
C: Moral support during flu shots""
Seems a bit restrictive.
Feel free to retain a lawyer.
Penny,I said "right hand red.
" Yeah,I heard you.
I got red.
Bernadette,left foot yellow.
We should play limbo next.
No one beats me at limbo.
Penny.
Amy.
Bernadette.
That's my boyfriend.
It's open!
I got a splinter.
What do you want me to do about it?
Relationship agreement Section 4: Boo-boos and Ouchies.
You have to take care of it.
I should've gotten a lawyer.
Looks like it's just us playing.
Penny?
Penny,we're out of wine!
You should probably drive.
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真奇怪哦 人们不从网上下载漫画
却一直来漫画书店
这样对谁都好吧
对这群人来说 每周一次到此一游 是让老妈到地下室...
给他们换床单的唯一机会
这倒提醒我了 晚上可以睡干净的床单 耶
你觉得新漫画之夜如何?
见证奇迹的时刻 对吧?
Sheldon 我失望透顶
作为一名高智商人士 你染上了一个恶习
我可以接受 沉迷鸦片或 捕猎同伴解闷
但这种东西?
弱爆了
一 漫画书是一门艺术 通过连环画来讲故事
这种形式可追溯到17000年前 法国拉斯科洞窟的壁画
二 你还弹竖琴呢
好像那很牛一样
要帮忙找什么吗?
有没有漫画里 女人的胸不至于大到可以当救生衣的
不好意思 来这儿的大部分人 都喜欢大波妹
有些人自己就有大波
看呀 卡阿勇士的新扩展包出了
新的? 真让人不敢相信
他们就是画点难看的怪兽
把它们印在卡片上 然后卖25大洋一套
就像专给没妹子的死宅收的税一样
他们根本不上心
记得魔鬼动物包里的地狱象吗?
太扯了
那是啥 一头坏大象死了 然后下地狱了?
大象干啥才能下地狱啊?
"西部荒野和女巫"包?
哪种二货会喜欢 比利小子与北方白巫的对决?
(比利小子为美国西部 著名歹徒)
那是相当二
显然 拿把左轮手枪就能搞定 一个拿魔杖的老头
等下
要是那巫师在比利小子的牛仔帽上 施展混乱法术怎么办?
算了吧
这可是比利小子啊
那巫师还没说完下面这话 就被爆头了
"比利小子怎么会在神秘卡阿王国?"
Leonard Sheldon和他朋友Amy是怎么回事?
他们是一对吗?
一对怪胎 干啥?
你对Amy有意思?
她没有用让人蛋疼菊紧 充满仇恨蔑视的眼神看我
我喜欢这样的女人
你问问Sheldon我能约她出去吗?
大概没问题吧
Stuart 帮我们解个惑
比利小子和白巫 谁能赢?
要是我说了 就等于剥夺了 你们几小时的快乐时光
来自这仅售24块9毛5的神奇小淘气
我要个
嗯 我也要
我恨你们和我自己
来三个
我去算下账
有如瓮中捉宅男
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-=YTET-伊甸园字幕组=- 翻译:小小小的菠菜 elequent 波玻璃 海哲理 二宝 校对: 阿公 时间轴: 邦德猪
天才理论传 第五季 第十集 iTunes版本调教：Tears
跟你说件事呗?
这事有点尴尬
我知道你要说啥了
鉴于你目前的职业生涯停滞不前
你想知道现在放弃研究 改教书 是不是个好主意
是好主意
我建议你考虑下 换个学科教吧
转到人文学科 教个历史啥的
教历史的一个好处就是 你不用创造什么东西
只要记得过去发生的事 然后鹦鹉学舌重复下就好了
你会很得心应手的
是啊 不过不是这事
Stuart貌似对Amy有点兴趣
那当然啦
她多有趣啊
你知道吗? 她14岁时她自己动手术 把自己粘连的脚趾分开了
不知道
他让我问你 他和Amy约会 你有没有意见
不知道诶 Leonard
Amy又不是归我所有
人可不是什么财物
至少在...
1863年后
那年林肯总统解放了...
奴隶
不会吧 Leonard 你要教历史的话
这些可是常识
算了 我就告诉他你没意见
这个问题毫无意义
Stuart 穷困潦倒的漫画书贩子
根本把不到Amy Farrah Fowler
一位著名的神经生物学家 曾徒手给自己的脚动手术
麻醉药仅为 从灌装生奶油中提取的氧化亚氮
好吧 但明确一下 我已经问过你的意见了
好吧
明白你的意思了
回到正题上 一个失败的实验物理学家 以后该怎么办
我没有失败
哦 Leonard啊
这么多人喜欢你 想帮你 但你首先要承认自己的问题
女士们 我们干完一瓶了
我就喝了半杯
我一点都没喝
好吧 别怪我
接下来想干吗 看电影 跳舞 或者躺下歇会儿?
或者 我们玩...
人体扭扭乐
Amy 确定? 扭扭乐?
不好意思
我靠着它度过了许多难忘的夜晚
和其他人一起玩肯定更好玩
闺蜜们 怎么样? 我们分蓝队和红队
我当红队 抢到了
我个子太小玩不了扭扭乐
还有过山车
还有坐着的时候脚够不着地
亲爱的妈妈 希望你产前吸烟吸得很开心
嘿 我妈怀我的时候还抽大麻呢 我也没啥毛病
看 还有蜜桃松子酒 太好了
女士们 貌似不妙
怎么了?
有个男孩喜欢我
"你好 我是Sturat"
"我们在漫画店见过"
"能不能哪天请你出来喝咖啡"
"不行的话也没关系"
"那样我可能会生不如死 得开始服用左洛复了"
(左洛复 抑郁症药物)
Amy 小狐狸精
没想到那一层层羊毛和涤纶 也挡不住你的魅力
你要怎么做?
他不知道你有男朋友了吗?
她没男朋友 她有Sheldon
你喜欢Stuart吗?
不知道
他人很好 很幽默
他那灰黄的马脸 过度活跃的甲状腺
还算迷人
听着 亲爱的 我们都喜欢Sheldon 但你跟他在一起都一年多了
如果你们没什么进展 和别人试试又有什么坏处?
是啊 他们又没像我和Howie一样订婚了
爱信不信 订了婚也不必闲着
好男人多着呢
Stuart呢?
出去了
你是谁?
我是Dale 他让我来负责
真的?
对
我也没弄明白
我想把这个"西部荒野和女巫" 卡阿扩展包退了
抱歉 我不管退货的
太复杂了
好 好
Stuart什么时候回来?
不知道 他出去喝咖啡去了
和一个女孩儿
我想我错了
你还好吗?
我还好吗?
Leonard 我在未来将获诺贝尔奖 会有城市以为我的名字命名
四颗智齿都舒舒服服的不需要拔
我的排泄活动像德国列车一样准时
我会不好吗?
我也很好哦
狂野女巫 (源自Wild Bill Hickok 美国西部英雄)
阿布拉卡曼奇部落 (北美印第安族之一)
燃烧的痰盂
声明一下 我对你们这些牛仔很失望
这可是我们的"西部荒野和女巫"初体验
而我是唯一愿意为此盛装出席的
一群娘们
我们才不戴牛仔帽呢 Sheldon
看起来傻透了
那我的靴子和马刺也很傻啰?
- 对 - 非常 - 相当傻
那玩"魔鬼动物"包时 我扮成恶魔猫也很傻吗?
- 对 - 非常 - 相当傻
好了 还是继续玩儿吧
我们得对他温柔点
Amy和Stuart今晚约会去了
等一下 你是说Sheldon的傲慢态度和...
无性路线留不住女人?
咯咯 我们是三姑六婆吗?
还是男子汉在玩设定在神奇边境小镇的 魔幻纸牌桌游?
抱歉 恐怖帐篷
老巫女Annie
Pocahontas咒 ("风中奇缘"印第安女主)
还有一点 是你们三个 一直在叨叨Stuart和Amy 我没有
你们真得好好想想是谁可笑了
- 是你- 你啊 - 绝对是你
伙计们 快看
签名编号的锡包装珍藏
"西部荒野和女巫" 豪华限量版扩展包
拜托 不要啊
我们才刚买了普通版呢
哦 警徽
也是个魔杖
还带全息图? 真不错
你看见了吗?
我在矩阵里 Leonard 我什么都看得见 (黑客帝国)
开什么玩笑
你在Facebook上把Stuart加为好友了?
我以为你不喜欢Facebook了
别傻了
我喜欢一切试图取代 真实社交活动的事物
拜托
你就是想通过Facebook 知道他们的约会怎么样了
是吗?
你以为我关心 啥来着 "与美女共饮南瓜咖啡"吗?
你就是很在意
你愿意这么想就想吧
删除好友Rajesh Koothrappali
你删了我? 真的?
正好
以后他就看不见 那些超赞更新了 比如...
"真不敢相信为了做花香包 我等了这么久"
Sheldon 你为什么不告诉Amy你的感受
你不想让她跟别的男人约会?
删除好友Leonard Hofstadter
给个刺激的建议
按照传统 找Stuart单挑
要让女人爱上你 没什么比...
两个瘦皮猴闭着眼睛互相挠 更有效了
删除好友Howard Wolowitz
- 把我们全删了 我能用下电脑吗? - 干什么?
我得买那白痴锡盒珍藏版
- 我们爱谁? - Penny
你好 Sheldon
- 进来吧 - 谢谢
什么事?
我来问 你想不想跟我约会
对不起 什么?
约会 你和我
晚餐 跳舞 也许你会喜欢 去看场拳击赛
天哪 你是想让Amy吃醋?
不是
为什么每个人都在纠结 Amy和Stuart的事?
他们是不是喝了很多南瓜咖啡 或者今晚会不会交媾
好啊 听我说
光耍把戏 Amy可回不来
我没想让她回头
但出于好奇 有什么办法?
好吧 亲 我来给你讲个故事
曾经有个我喜欢的男人 我没跟他表白过
最后 他跟别人交往了 我后悔终生
你懂我意思吗?
我应该懂了
我就是那个男人
你不是
你确定?
这样才说得通
你总是去我们公寓
你和Leonard那段不知所谓的恋情 就是为了接近我
你总是叫我"亲"
谁我都叫"亲"
你个花心萝卜
听着 Sheldon 我就劝你爷们点 去和Amy谈谈
"爷们点儿"?
系什么 溜冰鞋?
(字面义为系一块儿 指俩蛋蛋)
亲 你跟那男人差远了
你如果觉得无聊可以走 我理解
不会 我挺开心的
不用照顾我
借过 借过
抱歉 抱歉 借过
- 嗨 Stuart - 嗨 Sheldon
抱歉... 借过...
Sheldon 你来干吗?
一想到你和Stuart这种人 坐在漆黑的电影院 我就恶心
别见怪 Stuart
不会
虽然"恶心"这词有点...
过分了
很抱歉让你觉得不舒服
但鉴于当前我们的关系
我想怎么恶心都不关你事
再说下...
Stuart 拜托 你太失礼了
还有别的事吗?
我想更改我们关系模式
我听着呢
以身体上或其他方面 都不做改变为前提
我将不再回避 不再称你为"非女友"
有意思
别用四重否定句式再说一次
你太无理取闹了
你好 Stuart
好吧 Amy...
你愿意做我的女朋友吗?
- 愿意 - 有这句话足矣
抱歉打扰了
祝你俩约会开心
这一块钱是给你的补偿
给自己买点软糖吃吧
借过 借过 不好意思 借过 不好意思
除了你和某人关系更上一层楼之外 约会很不错
是的 谢谢你送我到门口
不客气
Amy Amy Amy
事情赶紧处理完吧
晚安 Stuart
晚安
机灵点 Stuart 人家女士说晚安了
你怎么进来我公寓的?
你成为我女朋友后 我就要受你这种唠叨了吗?
幸亏我起草了这个
那是什么?
我向你呈上恋爱协议
一份31页的契约书 其中列举 重申
并编撰了各项权利与义务 协议方为Sheldon Lee Cooper
以下简称"男友"
和Amy Farrah Fowler 以下简称"女友"
太浪漫了
相互补偿协议向来如此
在我准备公证印章时 你先看一下吧
第五章: 牵手
牵手仅在下列情况下才被允许
A: 其中一方有坠入悬崖 绝壁或峭壁的危险
B: 其中一方在获诺贝尔奖后 应得一次热情的握手
C: 在打流感疫苗时的精神支持
还真有点严啊
你尽可请律师
Penny 我说的是右手上红色
是啊 我听到了
我手上有红色
Bernadette 左脚上黄色
我们下次比林波舞吧 (考验柔韧度的钻竿子舞蹈)
我林波舞可是天下无敌
Penny
Amy
Bernadette
是我男朋友
门没锁!
我手上扎刺儿了
你想让我怎么做?
恋爱协议第四章: 轻伤和疼痛
你必须来处理
真后悔没请律师
貌似就剩咱俩玩了
Penny?
Penny 酒没了!
还是你来开车吧
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