孩子们起床了 Come on, boys!
今儿个可是闰日 不是困日 It's leap day, not sleep day!
我超爱闰日 I love leap day!
这在邓菲家算是重大节日了 It's kind of a big deal in the Dunphy house.
今年我们甚至把曼尼都拉进来了 This year, we even got Manny involved.
你被赐予了这多出来的24小时 You're given this gift of 24 extra hours.
可不能浪费在工作或学习上 You can't waste it at work or school.
得用来做些非同寻常的事 You have to do something extraordinary,
令人震惊的事 something shocking.
今年 咱们全家要去学习玩"空中飞人" This year, the entire family is taking a trapeze class.
非同寻常吧 How extraordinary is that?
这是我的主意 It was my idea.
震惊吧 How shocking is that?
每隔四年我都会心血来潮一次 I can be spontaneous every four years.
我都等不及了 I can't wait.
闰日什么的傻爆了 Leap day is stupid.
你没有理解这背后的因果关系 You're not understanding the logic behind it.
一年实际上有365.25天 A year is actually 365.25 days.
所以每隔四年 就会多出一天 Every four years, we gain one day.
如果不靠闰日来调整的话 大约40年后 If we didn't adjust the calendar in, say, 40 years,
二月就变成一月了 February would almost be January.
关我屁事 关你屁事 That's not my problem, and it's definitely not your problem.
看看 Look at this.
家政又把我的白衣服染成粉红了 The housekeeper turned another one of my whites pink.
我不能穿着这个去运动酒吧 I can't wear this to a sports bar.
群众的目光又不会在你身上 杰 Mm, they're not going to be looking at you, Jay.
某人自我感觉相当良好哦 Somebody's feeling pretty good about herself.
他们关注的是比赛 They're going to be watching the match.
你还是暗指了一下自己吧 You meant you a little bit.
好 插在这里 Okay, put it in there.
好了 悄悄的哦 All right, very quietly,
我们要去二爸的卧室 打开门 we're gonna go to daddy's bedroom, open the door,
祝我生日快乐 Happy birthday to me.
-我满10岁了 -是40岁 - I'm 10! - 40!
我生在2月29日 I was born February 29th,
至今为止这日子出现过10次 and there have been ten of those... in my lifetime,
所以人家才10岁 therefore I'm 10!
太好玩了 It's fun.
相当好玩 It's so much fun.
总之 我这四年都在琢磨 Anyway, I-I've spent the last four years
为这家伙办什么样的派对 trying to figure to what kind of party to throw this one.
亲爱的 你知道 Oh, honey, you know I'd be fine
能和你在家随便过一晚我就很满足了 with just a nice casual evening at home with you.
别 可别这么说 Don't--don't even.
他上次就来这一套 No. No! That's what he said last time.
好 小寿星 要看什么呢 Okay, birthday boy, what's it gonna be--
爱情喜剧片还是恐怖片 Rom com or horror?
或者是兼具这两种风格的《女佣变凤凰》 Or we can do both and watch "Maid in Manhattan."
你干嘛 Whatcha doing?
孩子我不要了 Canceling our baby.
本字幕由 YYeTs人人影视 原创翻译制作 仅供学习 禁止用于任何商业盈利行为 更多影视更新 请登陆 www.YYeTs.com
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翻译：缪二千 NANA 猫中之王 独醉
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时间轴：菜六水 校对：独醉 后期&总监：瓜瓜
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摩登家庭 第三季 第十七集
行 向爸爸问好 拜 Okay, love to dad. Bye! Mwah!
二爸 你在干吗 Daddy, what are you doing?
是啊 二爸 你干什么呢 Yeah, daddy, what are you doing?
在偷找你生日派对的线索吗 Snooping for hints about your birthday?
不 人家只是太兴奋了 想帮帮忙嘛 No, I'm just excited, and I wanna be helpful.
我知道你不擅长策划派对什么的 I know party planning isn't your thing.
你得对我有点信心 小卡 Y-you need to trust me, Cam.
我知道 我真的信任你 I know, and I do.
反正你也不会弄什么过时的东西 It's not like you're gonna do anything tired,
比如苹果马提尼啊 冰雕啊 like appletinis or ice sculptures.
或者是合成纤维餐巾 聚酯产品之类 Or synthetic napkins or anything mylar.
够了 小卡 Cam, that's enough!
这四年来我都在为上次的派对赎罪 I've been paying for your last party for four years.
而且你不相信我能 And I find it a little insulting
办好这派对 有点侮辱人呢 that you don't think I can pull this off.
好吧 You know what?
我相信你 我放手不管了 I trust you. I'm letting go.
-好吧 -好吗 - Okay. - Okay?
你知道橘色已经不流行了 对吧 You know orange is over, right?
不过是个简单的派对 我干得来 It's a simple party. I can do it.
简单 Simple.
好极了 Perfect.
没错 只是一个"简单的"派对 Yeah, just a simple party.
我简单地选了小卡最爱的电影《绿野仙踪》 I'm simply taking Cam's favorite movie, "The wizard of Oz,"
把咱们家变身为绿野仙踪主题嘉年华 and turning our house into an oz-themed extravaganza--
黄砖图案的地毯 身着戏装的招待 Yellow brick carpet, waitstaff in full costume,
以及为小卡量身打造的红宝石鞋 and custom-made ruby slippers for Cam.
帅吧 Whazzup?!
这活动安全吗 So is this safe?
不过是个"空中飞人" It's a trapeze.
放轻松 "空中飞人"比被陌生人持刀杀害 Relax. More people are killed by knife-wielding strangers
死得少多了 than from trapezing.
我开始做回家的打算了 I'm thinking about going home now.
亲爱的 你还好吧 Honey, are you okay?
我没事 I'm fine.
我在看 I'm watching...
太催泪了 It's so sad.
天啊 可别在今天啊 Oh, no. Not today.
怎么了 What's wrong?
没事 你妈只是 Nothing. No, your mom's just, uh...
情绪有点激动而已 feeling emotional.
她上个月这时候就这德行 上上个月也是 She was like this last month and the month before
上上上个月也是 and the month before.
啥 老娘要杀人了 What?! I could kill someone!
我听不见你说话 No, I can't hear you!
这傻缺电话在这破房子里收不到信号 This stupid phone gets no reception in this stupid house! Aah!
苍天啊 不会吧 Dear god, no.
我听过传言 I'd heard rumors.
没错 大家都听说过 Yeah, we all had,
女人们在一起工作生活 that females living or working in close quarters
最后经期就会变得一致 could eventually get on the same... cycle.
不过我一直以为这说法是编来 But I always assumed that was a story designed
阻止女性加入潜艇部队的 to keep women out of submarine corps.
这不是牛奶 我今天到底怎么了 This isn't milk. What's wrong with me today?
大脑都不正常运转了 My brain's not working right.
不会吧 No.
我没法集中 I can't focus...
三条腿 Three legs?
太不公平了 It's not fair.
我就说嘛 I know.
太催泪了 Oh, no! It's sad.
我的天 这下乐子全被她们毁了 Oh, my god. They're gonna ruin everything.
没有的事 咱们多长点心眼就行 No. We--we just need to be extra sensitive.
菲尔 亲爱的 什么时候出发 Phil, honey, when do we need to leave?
你准备好就行 亲爱的 20分钟后好吗 Whenever's good for you, sweetie. Maybe 20 minutes?
-20分钟 -给个准话好吗 菲尔 - 20 minutes?! - Then which one is it, Phil?
是等我准备好还是20分钟后 Is it whenever it's good for me or is it 20 minutes?!
你们准备好就行 Whenever you're ready!
该来的还是来了 那些年一起来的大姨妈 It happened-- Satan's trifecta.
我最恐惧的一天 降临在了我最爱的这一天 The day I most dreaded had fallen on the day I most loved.
她们会毁了这次"空中飞人" They're gonna ruin trapezing.
我打赌她们已经有点错乱了 I bet they don't even catch me.
你这么害怕干嘛 她们都是通情达理的人 Why are you so afraid of them? They're reasonable.
不如建议让她们待在家里 Why don't we just suggest they stay home,
-好好招待大姨... -嘘 - considering they're all on their menst-- - Shh!
对付大姨妈的第一要点是 The first rule of dealing with the cycle--
绝口不提那仨字 You never mention the cycle.
要旁敲侧击打埋伏 You tiptoe around it.
女人要承受异常的苦痛 The woman's actually taken great pains
来压制身体里的魔鬼 to hide the monster she's become.
但要是说出真相 那魔鬼拦都拦不住了 But if you acknowledge it, that brings the monster forth.
老天 My god.
一来就是三只啊 And there's three of them.
没事的 It's okay.
我有个计划 I have a plan.
通常有人说"我有个计划"时 It's kind of traditional for people to lean in
大家就应该前倾围过来的 when somebody says, "I have a plan."
好的 Okay...
好 好 好 好 Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja!
不要啊 Ooh! No!
冲 冲 冲 冲 Si! Si! Si! Si!
进了 Goal!
你应该管你们国家叫"荷难" You should call your country "The Never-lands"
-因为你们难... -对 因为赢球很难 - Because you're never-- - Ja, because we are never going to win.
你都说了无数遍了 You said that a billion times.
回家洗洗睡吧 Just go home.
你这荷兰佬干嘛不回家洗洗睡 Why don't you Dutch people go home?
闭上你的哥伦比亚大嘴巴吧 Someone should shut your Colombian mouth!
-有本事试试看 -有什么问题吗 - Okay, I wanna see you try! - Uh, is there a problem over here?
没错 大问题 你还娶了这个大问题 Yes. There is a problem, and you're married to her.
是吗 我倒是有个提议 Really? Well, let me make a suggestion.
你好好坐着 我请你喝杯啤酒 Why don't you sit down, I send you over a beer,
我和我妻子坐到那边看 my wife and I watch from over there?
这样就皆大欢喜了 That way, everybody enjoys the game--
除了我 因为我更喜欢看激烈点的比赛 Except me, 'cause I prefer a game where something happens.
歌洛莉亚 我们走 Gloria, let's go.
走吧 Let's go.
我还以为你刚刚要揍那家伙呢 I thought you were going to punch that guy back there.
我比那孩子壮60磅呢 Ah, I got 60 pounds on the kid.
也对 只是听过很多关于你的英勇事迹 Yeah. It's just that I've heard so many stories about you fighting.
为这点小事没必要的 And-- it's not worth the trouble.
对啊 他那儿还有一大帮朋友 Yeah, and he has all those friends and...
跟人多人少没关系 Well, his friends had nothing to do with it.
有时候 得饶人处且饶人嘛 I mean, sometimes it's better to take the high road.
当缩头乌龟是挺好的 Yeah, it's better that you walked away.
歌洛莉亚 我感觉你 Gloria, I get-- I get the impression
-对我没出手有点失望 -哪有的事 - you're disappointed I didn't punch that guy. - Of course not.
谁在乎那些为媳妇不顾一切的爷们气概啊 Who needs all that manly, protect-your-woman stuff?
不是 你看你又这样 嘴上说一套 No, see, like, right there. You're saying one thing,
心里想的完全相反 but it feels like you mean the opposite.
-没有 -那就是有 - No. - That's a "Yes."
听着 杰 我就是来看球赛的 Look, Jay, I just came to watch the game.
-我可不想跟人吵 -同感 - I don't want to fight. - Neither do I.
我明白 I know.
为了与电影场景一致 So in keeping with the film,
这部分要变成黑白 this area will be in black and white,
然后这边就是明快的彩色 and then an explosion of technicolor.
最棒的部分 宾客一进来 Best part--as the guests are coming in...
埃姆婶婶 埃姆婶婶[片中台词] Auntie Em! Auntie Em!
模拟龙卷风是也 A simulated tornado.
真好 他一定会爱死的 Yeah. Oh, he's gonna love that.
-苹果马提尼不要了 -没错 - So the appletinis are canceled... - Yes.
小狗托托也订好了 还有 The little Toto dog is ordered, and...
别告诉我你穿着戏服还捣鼓潘趣酒呢 Please tell me that you are not mixing punch in costume!
不是吧 小卡回家干嘛 Oh, no! W-what is Cam doing home?
-你好 -你好 - Hey. - Hey.
我们来扮猴子的 We're the monkeys.
你们好 请进 快点 快点 Yes, hi. Hi. Come on inside. Quickly, quickly.
你好 等会就来 Hi. Okay, one second.
回来干嘛啊 Hey! Whatcha doing home?
你又不放心我 回来检查派对情况吗 Are you checking on me and the party again?
没有 我把手机落你车里了 No, no. I left my cell phone in your car
一会儿还得跟我妈联系呢 and I gotta be in touch with mama today.
她今天第一次跟保险公司谈 She's talking to the insurance agency for the first time
看看他们能不能重建爷爷的农场 to see if they're gonna rebuild grandpa's farm.
重建 Rebuild the...
因为龙卷风 Because of the tornado.
我完全忘了这茬 I totally missed the connection.
就在有史以来最具毁灭性的龙卷风 A month after the most devastating twister
席卷小卡家乡一个月后 that ever hit Cam's hometown,
我筹备了一个 I throw a party
以同志电影中最著名的龙卷风为主题的派对 based on gay cinema's most famous tornado.
是的 都过去一个月了 Yeah, you know, it's been a month,
保险方面还没有任何消息 她都快发疯了 and she hasn't heard anything, and she's just beside herself.
你知道还有什么很糟糕吗 And then you know what else?
莉莉因伤去世了 Lily succumbed to her injuries.
-你莉莉姨妈去世了 -没有 是我家的猪 - Your aunt Lily died? - No, the family pig.
莉莉姨妈是头 Aunt Lily was a...
咱闺女是以头猪起名的啊 We named our daughter after a pig?
你能不能看看我的伤痛 暂时别抱怨了 Could you just witness my pain instead of criticizing?
我今天只想跟家人聊聊 I just want to be in touch with my family today.
忘掉该死的龙卷风 这样才能享受 Get all this tornado stuff behind me so I can enjoy...
你为我准备的超赞派对 the fabulous party you're planning for me!
没错 你赶紧走吧 Yeah! You gotta get outta here!
-好的 听着小卡 -咋了 - Okay. Hey, listen. Hey, Cam? - Yeah?
你就跟家人叙叙吧 帮我问好 You just call your family, tell them I said "Hi."
也不用急着六点整准时回来啦 And don't worry about being back at 6:00 on the dot.
你可以先缓缓 There's a little breathing room.
什么 没搞错吧 Oh, what, are you kidding me?
派对一嗨起 The sooner I can start to party,
烦恼全忘掉 the sooner I can start to forget.
但再说一遍 But then again.
如果你逃避跟龙卷风有关的一切 Hey, if you keep running from every reminder of the tornado,
那不就败给龙卷风了吗 doesn't the tornado win?
米奇尔 我爷爷天天早上去看小货车 Mitchell, my grandpa runs to his pickup truck every morning
因为他觉得车上的草耙随时都会掉下来 because he thinks the pitchfork is gonna come back down.
龙卷风是不可战胜的 The tornado always wins.
好了 今晚肯定会非常开心的 Okay, well, it's gonna be so much fun tonight!
我知道 10岁大关 I know! The big 1-0!
40大关啦 4-0!
注意点 米奇尔 Hey, Mitchell!
-我在这儿 -差点撞到你 - I'm over here! - I could've hit you!
但是没撞到 我在跳爱意舞 But you didn't! I'm doing my "I love ya" dance.
好的 我在开爱意车 Okay, I'm doing my "I love you" car dance.
瞧你 Look at you!
别这样 好了 回去吧 Stop that! Okay! Go!
太危险了 This is dangerous.
-我不跳了 -回去吧 - Okay, okay. - Go.
你快开车吧 Get out of here, you.
今天我过生日啦 It's my birthday!
好了各位 过来 咱们得谈谈 All right, guys, come here. We need to talk.
-终于来了 -别催我们 - There they are. - Stop rushing us!
小家伙 怎么了 Buddy, what's wrong?
是啊 你整个早上都不在状态 Yes, you've been a little off all morning.
最近我感到特有压力 I've been feeling a lot of stress lately.
脑袋昏沉沉的 而且有些情绪化 My head's all foggy, and I'm kind of emotional.
希望你能很快好起来 Oh. Well, I sure hope you feel better soon
玩"空中飞人"时 头脑要相当的清醒 'cause you really need your wits about you when you're trapezing.
真奇怪 因为我们三个 This is weird because the three of us
今天也感觉非常不舒服 haven't exactly been feeling our best today either.
真的吗 Really?
我找不到另一只袜子了 I can't find my other sock!
看看是不是穿一只脚上了 Try looking under the one you have one.
我不是你 不会这么蠢 看到没 I am not you. I don't do that. See?
天哪 我和你一样蠢 Oh, god, I am you.
我们不去玩"空中飞人"了 你不介意吧 Would you mind if we sat out trapezing?
-是吗 -是啊 - Really? - Yeah.
你确定吗 好的 Are you sure? Okay.
他为什么要这个样子 Why does he do that?
每月如此 Every month.
没错 我是有点喜怒无常 Yeah, I get a little moody,
但身体不适的烦躁 but unrelentin physical discomfort
就会让人这样 will do that to a person.
他知不知道 Doesn't he know
他越是旁敲侧击 当我们疯子一样 that tiptoeing around someone like they're crazy
越是令我们抓狂 makes them crazy?
好的 你跟曼尼去吧 All right, you and Manny go ahead.
-卢克不舒服就留下来 -等等 什么情况 - Luke can just stay here with us. - Wait. What?
其实卢克看起来已经好多了 Luke's actually looking better.
-我好些了 -还是稳妥点好 - I am better. - Well, let's not take any chances.
-他在家休息 你们去吧 -爸 - He can stay here. You go ahead. - Dad?
爸爸 Daddy?
回见了 小家伙 See you later, buddy.
我们怎么办 What are we going to do?
不能让任何一个兄弟掉队 We leave no man behind.
我看我还是回家吧 I think I'm just gonna go home.
还有时间 We have time.
撤掉这些布置 办一场普通派对 Just take down the decorations and have a normal party.
在自家办场闷死人派对 Yeah, and throw a boring party in our house
一看就知道是今天下午仓促准备的 that looks like I just threw it together this afternoon?
-动脑子 -有其它选择 - Think! - Okay, we have a few options.
我可以在"阿米莉亚"餐厅给你弄到包间 I can get you the back room at Amelia's.
曾经把果汁洒在老板家白色地毯上 Spilled juice on the owner's white rug
还差点害死她的小孩 再想 and almost killed her toddler. Next.
保龄球场 Bowling alley?
不够有档次 你有什么想法 Not classy enough. What have you got?
真没用 你说 You're no help. You.
上周末 我去船上参加了派对 Well, last weekend, I did a party on a boat.
你说你去看望爸妈了 You said you were visiting your parents.
我需要离开你透透气 You're suffocating me.
什么样的船 说清楚点 What's this boat? Tell me about the boat.
我们在豪华游艇上举办了一场别致晚宴 Okay, we did an elegant dinner party on a luxury yacht
参加人数大约25个 for about 25 people.
可以在海湾转转 在月光下起舞 It takes you around the harbor, dancing under the moonlight.
好的好的 也许可以想个主题 Okay, okay. Uh, maybe we can-- we can make a theme out of this.
小卡的人生就是一次远航 You know, Cam's life is like a long voyage.
有时波涛汹涌 但永远一往直前 Sometimes choppy but--but always forward, ever forward.
-只有两小时 -快订吧 - We have two hours. - Book it.
你居然挺过了"空中飞人" Hey, you survived trapeze class, huh?
没去成 Didn't happen,
本着基本的做人道理 我还是不说原因了 and common decency prevents me from telling you why.
足球比赛怎么样 How was the soccer match?
激动人心 一比一打平 Thrilling. 1-1 tie.
有个进球是个意外 One of the goals was an accident.
你去了我妈肯定很开心 I'm sure my mom was happy you went.
我不知道她今天是怎么了 I don't know what to make of her today.
她和一个家伙杠上了 She got into it with this guy,
我肯定她有怂恿我和那家伙打一架 and I swear she was pushing me into a fight with him.
她现在喜欢暴力吗 Now is that something she'd want?
我不知道 I don't know.
我一直以为女人进化得比男人成熟 I always thought of women as the more evolved sex.
但是今天 我才真是大开眼界 杰 But after today... I've seen things, Jay.
我年轻时可不是省油的灯 'Cause, you know, I had my share of fights in my time.
知道不 You know that.
太烫了 It's too warm for me.
我记得有一次 我和迪迪过马路 Yeah, I remember this time I was crossing the street with Dede,
有个混蛋差点开车撞到她 and some jackass almost clipped her.
我把他揍到地上 脚踩在他脖子上后 I had the guy on the ground, my foot on his neck,
他的车才停下来 before the car stopped moving.
你的光荣历史大家都听过 Yeah, we've heard all those stories.
也许一睹真汉子杰的风采 是我妈的期望 Maybe my mom wouldn't mind a glimpse of that Jay.
是我妈 That's her.
她要我帮忙去给小卡挑礼物 She wants me to help pick out Cam's gift.
我还是原来的真汉子 百分百的 I'm still that guy, you know. 100%.
见鬼 怎么弄个饼干都把手划破了 What the hell? How do you cut your finger on a cracker?
总之 如果我认为值得一战 Anyway, if I thought there was a fight worth fighting,
我绝对会挺身一战 I'd fight it.
盐进伤口了 痛死了 Ow! Now I got salt in this. That stings!
下次 别冲你老板大喊大叫 Next time, don't scream at your boss
这样他就不会让你周末工作了 so that he doesn't make you work during the weekends.
好了 再见 Si. Adios.
妈 你在骂谁呢 Hey, mom. Who were you yelling at?
你爸爸 宝贝 Your father, baby.
他这周末没空 He cannot make it this weekend.
好吧 我承认 Okay, I admit it.
我希望杰在酒吧里猛揍那个荷兰佬一顿 I wanted Jay to kick that little dutch man's ass at the bar.
可在电话里和哈维尔讲了几句后 But two seconds on the phone with Javier,
我意识到了冲动鲁莽的下场 and I remember what that stupid hothead behavior gets you-
没有好下场 Nothing.
像杰这样冷静其实更好 It's better to be calm like Jay.
像杰和我那样 Like Jay and me.
像杰那样 Like Jay.
我回来了 I'm back!
谁会想到 我把帅呆了的太阳眼镜给忘了 Wouldn't you know, I forgot my ding-dang sunglasses.
卢克 来给我搭把手行吗 Luke, could you give me a hand?
从来不奢望菲尔会回来 为他搞的那些花样 What were the chances that Phil had come back to apologize
向我道歉 for all the game playing
然后跟我开诚布公地 and have an open conversation with me
谈谈我的感受 about what I was feeling?
我去万圣节商店买了瓶假血 Okay, I got a bottle of fake blood out of the Halloween supplies.
在手指上抹一点 说你割到指头了 Put a dab on your finger, say you cut it.
然后我说得带你去看医生 轻松当飞人 I say I need to run you by the doctor. Easy trapezy.
知道了不 Got it?
咱飞人天堂见 哥们 See ya on the other side, brother.
一次也好 我希望菲尔能表示一下同情 Just once, I would like Phil to have a little empathy,
向我表达一下他理解女性的痛苦 give me some sense that he understands what women go through.
你们感觉好点儿了没 You feeling any better?
真不愿看见我家姑娘们都这么窝着 Hate to see the whole team on the D.L.
我的手指头 Ow! My finger!
听起来不妙啊 I don't like the sound of that.
我说的是一点儿 I said a little bit!
盖子掉了 然后我决定将计就计 The cap fell off. I decided to just go with it.
好吧 得先把你弄出去 Okay, we gotta get you out the back.
-天啊 这是怎么了 -就一个小伤口 - God, what happened?! - Oh, it's just a little cut.
不过保险起见 我得带他去看看医生 But to be safe, I'll run him by the doctor.
你疯了吗 得打急救电话 No, are you crazy?! Call 9-1-1!
不不 他们忙着呢 No, no, they're so busy.
伤口在哪 我们得按住伤口吧 Where's the wound?! We need to put pressure on it, right?
-我要吐了 -在指头上 - I'm gonna be sick! - My--my finger.
得给他上止血带 该往哪绑 Oh, he needs a tourniquet! Where do I put it?!
-我指头上 -住手 他什么事都没有 - On my finger. - Stop! There is nothing wrong with him.
-卢克 这是怎么回事 -我割到手指了 - Luke, what's going on? - I cut my finger?
-老爸 -多神呐 - Dad? - How crazy is that?
原来眼镜一直在我兜里 待会见 They were in my pocket the whole time. I'll see you.
菲尔 Phil!
这是怎么回事 卢克 What is going on, Luke?
这一切都是老爸导演的 Dad staged the whole thing
好让我们去玩飞人 不带你们仨 so we could go on the trapeze without you three.
为什么 Why?
因为 Because...
因为 B-because...
就因为这个 你们都跟魔鬼一样 Because of this! You're all monster-ating!
-卢克别 -开什么玩笑 神啊 - Luke, no! - Are you kidding me?!Oh, my god! Oh, my lord.
抱歉 我知道你说过不能说出来 可我 Sorry! I know you told me not to say it, but I...
菲尔 Phil!
你就是这样教儿子的吗 Is this what you've been teaching our son?
女人都是不干净的麻风病人 That--that women are some kind of unclean lepers
得在床单下隔离一周吗 that should be hidden away under sheets for a week?
你知道这样有多冒犯吗 Do you have any idea how offensive that it?
我知道 亲爱的 I do, honey.
我从内心深处表示 And from the bottom of my heart,
我感到非常 I am so...
害怕 s-s-scared.
不是吧 Ugh! Oh, no!
老天 Oh, my.
好了 Okay.
三 二 一 3, 2, 1!
惊喜 Surprise!
我的天 太不可思议了 Oh, my gosh! Oh, it's amazing!
-是船上派对 -这是因为 - Yeah, it's a boat party. - Oh! Because?
你的人生就像一次远航 Your life is like a voyage.
每个人不都是吗 不过我喜欢这个 Oh! Well, everyone's is, but I love it
我们的朋友都没玩过这个 because none of our other friends have ever done it.
太贴心了 Aw. That's so sweet.
感情关系里没有肮脏崩溃的女人一定很爽吧 Oh, it must be easy with no dirty, broken woman in the relationship.
你笑什么笑 What are you laughing at?
大家跟着生日旗帜走 Okay, everybody follow the birthday flag!
[flag也指同志]
你叫我什么 哦对 What'd you call me? Oh. Uh, oh, yes.
我的天 太优雅了 胡娇肯定嫉妒死了 Oh, my gosh. It's so elegant. I'll bet Pepper is dying.
那个 实际上 胡娇没来 Oh, you know, actually, Pepper couldn't come.
因为他讨厌船 参加过海军的人 你懂的 Because he hates boats. You know, after the navy.
对 对 Yeah. Oh, yeah.
我猜朗吉纳斯已经战胜了怕水的问题吧 I guess Longinus got over his fear of--of water?
不 不 Mnh. No, no.
我们还是把注意力放在到场的30人吧 Why don't we just focus on the 30 people who are here,
好好玩 having a great time!
恶 闻着有股死人味道 Ew! It smells like somebody's dead.
那是什么味道 Ugh! What is that smell?
那淡淡的味道来自于 一只小小的蓝鲸 That faint odor is-- is a tiny, tiny blue whale
倒确实是死在附近的 who apparently has indeed died, uh, nearby.
不过呢 But...
搞的我外套上全是这个味 Si, but it's getting all over my coat.
我什么也闻不到 I don't smell anything.
大概是因为你闻起来像是一捧花 Maybe that's because you smell like a bouquet of flowers.
对了 小心脚下 Oh, yeah. Watch out for that.
这味道好像是呕吐物跟大便结婚 Ugh! It smells like puke married poop
然后在我鼻子里举行婚礼 and had the ceremony in my nose.
画面感太强了 You paint with words.
好 大家别着急 Okay, don't worry, everybody.
马上我们就会远在海上 乘风逐浪 Soon we'll be way, way out at sea, bouncing on the waves
闻到的都是蓝鲸兄弟姐妹们的甜甜香气 with all of his sweet-smelling brothers and sisters. Okay?
-米奇尔·普里契特 -是的 你好 - Mitchell Pritchett? - Oh, yes. Hi.
你好 我是今晚的船长 我们遇到点问题 Hi. I'm your captain tonight. We've got a problem.
我没办法让这么多人上船 I can't fit this many people on my boat.
不要吧 之前告诉我能载30人的 No, no. I was--I was told you could take 30.
我刚好有30名客人 I have exactly 30 guests.
我有6名船员 你得留下几个人 Plus six in help. You gotta drop a few people.
拜托 一定有点什么办法的 Come on. There--there must be something that we can do here.
我们有大点的船 Well, we have bigger boats,
不过提前两个小时订 就只有这个了 But this is the best I could do on two hours' notice.
有什么问题吗 What is the problem?
很明显呢 Apparently,
米奇尔两小时前才开始筹划我的生日派对 Mitchell started planning my birthday party two hours ago.
不不 不是的 Mnh-mnh. No. No, I-I did not.
显然 我们人太多不能上船 Uh, apparently, we have too many people for his boat.
-所以 -太扯了吧 - So... - That's crazy.
我见过抓在一块门板上漂的人比这都多 I've seen more people clinging to a floating door.
抱歉女士 这涉及到安全问题 I'm sorry, lady. It's a safety issue.
不 你如果不把我们从这臭鲸旁送走 Oh, no. You're going to have a safety issue
你就会有安全问题 if you don't take me away from this whale.
不要指指点点 态度也不要这么恶劣 Okay, little too much finger, little too much attitude.
这是怎么了 What's all this?
米奇尔辛苦了两小时的成果就要化为乌有了 Uh, two hours of Mitchell's hard work going down the drain.
这船上不能承载超过30个人 Look, I can't fit more than 30 people on the boat,
我在跟这位女士解释 As I was just explaining to the lady here.
注意了 你说的"女士"可是我的儿子 Well, first of all, that "Lady" is my son.
他说的不是我 He wasn't talking about me.
我说的是她 I was talking about her.
她 又变成"她"了 Oh. Her. Oh, it's "Her" now.
而她是我的老婆 Well, "Her" happens to be my wife.
你跟她过不去 就是跟我过不去 You got a problem with her, you got a problem with me.
别这样 杰 No, no, Jay...
-冷静 -我之前没跟谁过不去 - Calm down. - I didn't have a problem before,
可现在要过不去一下了 but now I'm starting to.
那咱们就好好地过不去一下吧 No, your problem's about to get a lot bigger.
杰 你以为这是我想要的 其实不是 No, Jay, I know you think this is what I want, but it's not.
-交给我处理 歌洛莉亚 -别这样 杰 - I've got this, Gloria. - No, Jay.
今天是我犯傻了 我喜欢你那么冷静 I was just being stupid today. I like that you're calm,
你总是三思而后行 that you think first, and you act second.
我的生活需要这样的你 I need that in my life.
闪边去吧 爷爷 Yeah, so walk away, grandpa.
说什么呢 You know what?
不准叫他"爷爷" Nobody call him "Grandpa"!
我叫啊 I do.
行了 够了 Okay, that's it!
不许上船 所有人滚下去 否则我报警 No boat! Everybody off my dock, or I'm calling the cops!
现在连派对都没了吗 So no party now?
不是 当然有 拜托... No! No, of course! Just...
拜托给我一分钟好吗 Just... Just give me a minute okay?
两小时做的都不过如此 Oh, after what you did with two hours,
-真等不及看你一分钟的成果 -小卡 - I can't wait to see what you do with a minute. - Cam!
可怜的小卡 他好生气啊 Poor Cam. He seems so upset.
你觉得难受吗 菲尔 Oh, is that hard for you, Phil,
就因为有情绪的人出现在你身边 That he's have a feeling around you?
-好抱歉哦 -好情绪化哦 - I'm so sorry. - Too many emotions?
好了 好了 我认输了 Okay, okay, I give up!
是的 今天我错了 Yeah, I made a mistake today.
那也是因为你们三个联合起来对付我 But only because the three of you ganged up on me
就好像狼人 吸血鬼 科学怪人 like when the wolfman, Dracula, and Frankenstein
扎堆在一部电影里 show up in the same movie,
而且不是以很酷的方式扎堆 except this wasn't awesome!
我今天的情绪就跟翻江倒海似的 I have been on an emotional roller coaster all day today.
我害怕 我生气 我生气因为我害怕 I'm afraid. I'm mad. I'm mad because I'm afraid,
现在我脑袋都成浆糊了 and now I can't even think straight
因为刚刚绊的那一下让我好痛 because I'm in so much pain from what just happened over there!
这一切让我好伤心 我却不知道为什么 And the whole thing makes me so sad, and I'm not even sure why,
这臭味令我恶心 但是我却好饿 and I'm nauseous from that smell but I'm so hungry.
没事的 Yeah.
小卡 当初的计划里根本没有船 Cam, the--the boat wasn't even part of the plan.
没关系 No, it's fine.
期望太高是我的错 It's my fault for letting my expectations get too high.
-这次我也不会计较的 -不不 - I'll get over this one, too. - No, no.
其实我早就计划好了"绿野仙踪"主题派对 I had this whole "Wizard of OZ" party planned,
只不过我今天才意识到可能 only today I realized that it might be
太过"龙卷风"风格了 a-a little too tornado-y.
-今天 -是的 - Today? - Yes!
抱歉我之前没想到这点 I'm sorry I-I didn't make the connection, okay?
可能是因为我精心计划了几个月 Probably 'cause I've been planning for months
专注于你可以拥有完美的派对 可以开心 so that you could have the perfect party and be happy,
而现在我觉得根本没可能了 which now I don't even think is possible.
我想拥有一个美好的 Oh, I'm sorry that I would like to have
10岁生日派对是我的错 a nice 10th birthday party.
你不可能拥有 小卡 Well, you can't have it, Cam!
想知道原因吗 因为你40岁了 You wanna know why?! Because you're 40!
你是个40岁的大男人 You're a 40-year-old man!
我40了 I am 40.
-我40了 -没错 - I'm 40. - Yes.
小卡 别这样 Oh, Cam, stop it.
我40了 而我却坐在这破...这什么东西 I'm 40 and I'm--I'm on this stupid--wait, what is that?!
这个 Oh, it's this...
东西 thing!
一下子 我开窍了 Suddenly, it all made sense.
小卡整天的抓狂表现不是因为派对 Cam's craziness all day wasn't about a party.
而是因为他40岁了 it was about turning 40.
一旦他意识到这点 情况变得更糟糕 And once he realized that, everything got much worse.
-我根本一事无成 -别这样 - I've done nothing with my life! - Oh, w--stop it.
别这样 怎么能这样说呢 Come on. How--how can you say that?
你是个好父亲 你... You're--you're a wonderful father. You...
你从小丑大学毕业了 You--you graduated from clown college.
你去过法国 You've been to France.
我不想要40岁啦 这不公平 I don't want to be 40. It's not fair!
-我了解 -世上本就没公平可言 - I know. - Nothing's fair.
两英里外就是个游乐园 2 miles from here is an amusement park
挤满了玩"空中飞人"的欢乐家庭 full of happy families swgiging on a trapeze.
四年才多出的一天 我只有这个小小要求 That's all I wanted for my special bonus day.
什么 What?
我绞尽脑汁 I'd been trying so hard
想琢磨出小卡生日到底想要什么 to figure out what Cam wanted for his birthday.
其实他一直都在告诉我 He'd been telling me all along.
他只想要10岁 He wanted to be 10.
真的吗 你没有办法吗 Seriously? There's nothing you can do?
抱歉 到结束时间了 I'm sorry. You just missed the cutoff.
不如下次再来玩吧 How about we see you next time?
不如你破个例 让他上去飞飞 How about you make an exception and strap him in there?
是啊 我们不就迟了10分钟嘛 Yeah, we're, like,ten minutes past your deadline, anyway.
你今天最好别惹我们 And you don't want to make us angry today.
-女士们 没法破例 -女士们 - Ladies, uh, I really can't make any exceptions. - "Ladies"?
这就是她们向我道歉的方式 And that was how they apologized to me.
加油 菲尔 Come on, Phil!
天啊 菲尔 Oh, god, Phil!
你成功了 You did it!
我想应该是道歉吧 我这辈子都没法问 At least, I-I think it was. I could never ask them.
感觉太爽了 This is so satisfying!
今天就这时候感觉最爽 Best I've felt all day!
我可以每月租一次这个吗 Can I rent one of these on a monthly basis?
太棒了 Yes!
好耶 Oh, yay!
最开心的40岁生日派对 Best 40th birthday party ever.
不不 10岁 No, no. 10th.
-可以吗 -可以 - Really? - Yeah.
事实上 你还是那个我爱上的 In fact, you're still that sexy little 8 year old
性感8岁小男孩 I fell in love with.
算了 走吧 No, just go.