Fucking God!
''Apartment For Rent''
l`d like a phone slug.
- All out. Down, back and left. - Thanks.
Momma, this is Jeanne.
There`s an apartment in Passy l`m going to see.
Then l go meet Tom at the station.
See you later.
Kisses. So long.
l`m here for the apartment.
l saw the sign.
- Sign? - Yes.
What sign?
Always the same. Nobody tells me anything.
- l`d like to see it. - To rent it?
l don`t know yet.
They rent, they leave, and l`m the last to know.
You think that`s fair?
lf you want to go up alone, go on.
l`m afraid of the rats.
The key is gone.
Lots of strange things happen.
They drink six bottles a day.
Wait. There must be a duplicate.
Here it is.
You`re very young, right?
Let me go, please.
She`s crazy.
Where are you?
What a fright. How`d you get in?
By the door.
Oh, yes. l left it open.
But l didn`t hear you come in.
- l was already here. - Excuse me?
Then the key--
And l bribed the concierge.
These old houses are fascinating.
An armchair would look good here.
The armchair has to go...
in front of the window.
You are American?
You have an American accent.
- Will you rent it? - And you?
l don`t know.
What are you doing?
Do l answer or not?
There`s no one here.
There is no one.
l don`t know.
Then you decided to take it?
l had decided, but--
But now l don`t know.
Do you like it?
Do you?
l have to think about it.
Think fast.
You still here?
Attention.
Who do they take us for?
This is cinema. We`re making a movie.
lf l kiss you, that might be cinema.
lf l caress you, it might be cinema.
What the devil do they want? l know them.
l`m shooting a film-- ''Portrait of a Girl--'' for television.
And the girl is you.
But you`re mad! You should have asked my permission.
Yes, but it amuses me...
to begin with the girl of the portrait who meets her fiance.
This is my crew.
And so you kiss me...
knowing it`s a film.
Coward!
See, it`ll be most of all a love story.
Tell me,Jeanne.
What did you do while l was away?
l thought of you day and night and l cried.
Darling, l can`t live without you.
Magnificent! Stop! Perfect!
l wanted to clean up...
but the police didn`t let me.
They didn`t believe in suicide.
Too much blood all over.
They had fun making me reenact.
''She went there.
She went here.
She opened the curtain.``
l did everything like her.
The clients, awake all night.
The hotel full of police.
They playing around with the blood.
All spies.
lf she was sad, if she was happy...
lf you fought, if you hit each other.
And then when you were married...
why you didn`t have children.
Pigs.
They treated me like dirt.
They said...
''Nervous type, your boss.
You know he was a boxer?``
So?
''But he didn`t do well.''
Then he was...
an actor.
And then a bongo player.
Revolutionary in South America.
Journalist in Japan.
One day he debarks in Tahiti.
Wanders around.
Learns French.
Then he arrives in Paris.
And here...
meets a woman with money.
Marries her and--
''Now what`s your boss do?''
He`s kept.
''Can l clean up now?''
''Don`t touch anything.
You really think...
she killed herself?``
And then he pushed me in a corner trying to--
Turn off the water.
Maybe they`ll do an autopsy.
Why don`t you turn off the water?
Here`s your razor.
lt`s not mine.
They don`t need it anymore.
The inquiry is over.
Yes, she had some cuts here and on the neck.
Excuse me. Where should l put it?
- You could have rung. - lt was open. Here?
No, in front of the fireplace.
And these chairs?
Here`s the table. Where do l put it?
How do l know? He`ll decide.
l`ll leave it here.
- Heavy. lt`s really a double. - But it won`t fit.
You`ll see. Your husband`ll find room.
What a mess.
Thank you.
This armchair has to go in front of the window.
Like that.
l only came to return the key.
- To return it to you. - What do l care?
Take off your coat.
Come on. Give me a hand.
Take these chairs...
and put them here.
Put them on the other side.
Take it too.
You didn`t lose any time.
Listen, sir...
l have to go.
Look, sir, l`ve gotta go.
The bed is too big for the room.
l don`t know what to call you.
l don`t have a name.
- You want to know my name? - No, l don`t!
l don`t wanna know your name.
You don`t have a name and l don`t have a name either.
No names here. Not one name.
You`re crazy.
Maybe l am, but l don`t wanna know anything about you.
l don`t wanna know where you live or where you come from.
l wanna know nothing! You understand?
- You scare me. - Nothing.
You and l are gonna meet here...
without knowing anything that goes on outside here.
But why?
Because...
we don`t need names here.
Don`t you see?
We`re gonna forget...
everything that we knew.
Every-- All the people...
all that we do, all that we--
Wherever we live.
We`re going to forget that. Everything.
But l can`t.
Can you?
l don`t know.
Are you scared?
Come.
- l thought l`d find you here. - l expected you later.
l took the first train.
Paul, how horrible!
Papa is in bed with asthma.
The doctors forbade him to come.
Better.
l`m stronger.
What are you looking for?
Something that explains it.
A letter, a clue--
There`s nothing, absolutely nothing.
lt`s impossible that my little Rose--
Nothing for her mother. Not a word.
Useless to look anymore.
Not even for you, her husband.
You need to rest.
Maybe there`s a vacant room.
With a razor?
What time did it happen?
l don`t know. At night.
And then?
And then--
l already told you on the phone.
When l found her...
l called the ambulance.
After your telephone call...
we were awake all night long...
talking about you and Rose.
And Papa talked softly...
as if it happened in our house.
- Where did it happen? - ln a room.
Did she suffer?
Ask the doctors who did the autopsy.
The autopsy?
l already had some announcements.
l`ve had enough of deaths.
l think of everything. l do.
l`ll prepare a lovely funeral chamber...
with lots of flowers.
The cards...
the mourning clothes, the flowers.
You have everything in that suitcase.
You didn`t forget anything.
But l don`t want any priests here.
Understand?
You need them. lt must be a religious funeral.
Rose wasn`t a believer.
Nobody believes in a fucking God here!
Paul, don`t shout. Don`t shout like that!
A priest doesn`t want any suicides.
Church doesn`t want any suicides, do they?
They`ll give her absolution.
Absolution and a nice mass. That`s all l ask.
Understand? Rose-- She`s my baby girl.
Why did she kill herself?
Why?
Why did she kill herself?
Why?
You don`t know, do you?
You don`t know.
Let`s just look at each other.
lt`s beautiful without knowing anything.
Maybe--
Maybe we can come without touching.
Come without touching?
You concentrating?
Did you come yet?
- lt`s difficult. - l didn`t either yet.
You`re not trying hard enough.
l shall have to invent a name for you.
A name? Oh,Jesus.
Christ.
Oh, God, l`ve been called by a million names all my life.
l don`t want a name. l`m better off with a grunt or a groan for a name.
You want to hear my name?
So masculine. Listen to mine.
l didn`t get the last name.
You shouldn`t have done that to me.
But it`s not a wig. lt`s mine.
l`m not beautiful?
Tell me you don`t like the way l look.
But l do like the way you look.
Listen.
You seem changed, but you`re the same.
l can already see a shot.
The camera is high.
lt slowly descends toward you.
And as you advance, it moves in on you.
There`s music too.
lt gets closer and closer to you.
l`m in a hurry. Let`s begin.
But first we`ll talk about it a little.
Tonight we improvise.
Follow me.
He was my childhood friend.
He would watch me for hours. Maybe he understood me.
Dogs are better than people.
May l present Olympia, my nurse.
Mustapha knew how to tell the poor from the rich.
lf someone well-dressed came in, he didn`t growl.
But if it was a beggar, you should have seen him.
The colonel had him recognize Arabs by their odor.
- Olympia, open the door. - First, give me a kiss.
Go and open it.
Olympia is the personification of domestic virtue.
Faithful, economic and racist.
At Papa`s death, we moved to the old country house.
My childhood was made up of smells.
The mold on the walls, the closed rooms.
Many children came to play.
We ran from morning to night.
Growing old is a crime.
That`s me.
And that`s Mademoiselle Sauvage, the teacher.
Severe and religious.
She was too good and spoiled you.
This is Christine. The best friend.
She`s married and has two children.
lt`s like a village here. Everyone knows everyone.
l couldn`t live in Paris.
lt`s more humane here.
lt`s melancholy remembering the past.
Why melancholy?
lt`s marvelous.
lt`s your childhood. lt`s everything l want.
And what are you doing there?
Who are all these zombies around us?
The door!
l`m opening the door.
l`m opening the doors!
- What are you doing? - Setting up the shot.
There. l found it.
Reverse gear.
And what are you doing here?
Beat it! Scram!
Yes. Reverse gear!
Understand? Like a car.
Put it in reverse.
Close your eyes.
Back up. Close your eyes.
Come forward, backing up.
Keep going and find your childhood again.
lt`s Papa.
There. You take off and find your childhood again.
ln full dress uniform.
Don`t be afraid. Overcome the obstacles.
Papa in Algiers.
You are fifteen. Fourteen.
Thirteen. Twelve.
Eleven. Ten. Nine.
My favorite street at eight years old.
My notebook.
My French homework. Theme: ''The Countryside.''
Exposition: ''The country is the home of the cows.
The cow is all dressed in leather.
The cow has four sides: front, back...
top and bottom.``
- lsn`t that good? - Really charming.
Source of my culture was Larousse and l copied it.
''Menstruation. Feminine noun.
Physiological function consisting in flow.
Penis. Masculine noun.
Organ of copulation, measuring between five and 40 centimeters.``
This is a little Robert!
Look.
- Who is it? - My first love.
- Who? - lt`s my cousin Paul. The first love.
- But his eyes are closed. - What?
His eyes are closed!
He played piano very well.
That`s how l remember him-- sitting at the piano.
His fingers flew over the keys.
He practiced hour after hour.
At the bottom of the garden there were two trees.
A plantain and a chestnut.
Sunday after mass...
everyone sat under his own tree.
lt was marvelous.
We looked into each other`s eyes.
And for me these trees were the jungle.
- What are you doing? - We`re shitting.
Why? Can`t you see ?
- ln my jungle? - Let`s run!
Shoot! Shoot!
Did you get everything?
- Did you get it? - Everything.
Olympia was sublime. She gave a precise idea of her racism.
This really is a jungle.
Tell me about your father.
- Aren`t we finished? - Five minutes.
But l`m in a hurry for work.
But the colonel?
The colonel had green eyes and shiny boots.
l loved him like a god.
He was so handsome in his uniform.
What a steaming pile of horseshit.
What are you saying? l forbid you.
All uniforms are bullshit.
Everything outside this place is bullshit.
Besides that, l don`t want to hear about your stories about your past.
He died in `58 in Algeria.
Or `68 or `2 8 or `98.
ln `58, and l forbid you to joke.
Why don`t you stop talking about things that don`t matter here?
What the hell`s the difference?
So what do l have to say and what do l have to do?
Come on the good ship lollipop.
Why don`t you go back to America?
l don`t know.
Bad memories, l guess.
Of what?
My father was a drunk.
Tough, whore-fucker, bar fighter...
super masculine...
and he was tough.
My mother was very--
very poetic.
And also a drunk.
All my memories when l was a kid...
was of her being arrested nude.
We lived in this small town.
Farming community. We lived on a farm.
And l`d come home after school...
and she`d be gone...
or in jail or something.
And then--
l used to have to milk a cow.
Every morning and every night. l liked that.
But l remember...
one time l was all dressed up...
to go out and take this girl to a basketball game.
l started to go and my father said, ''You have to milk the cow.''
l asked him, ''Would you please milk it for me?''
He said, ''No, get your ass out there.''
So l went out and l was in a hurry.
Didn`t have time to change my shoes, and l had...
cow shit all over my shoes.
On the way to the basketball game, it smelled in the car.
And...
l don`t know, l just--
l can`t remember very many good things.
Not one?
Yeah. Some.
There was a farmer. Very nice guy.
Old guy, very poor and worked real hard.
l used to...
work in a ditch draining land for farming.
And he wore overalls and he smoked a clay pipe.
Half the time he wouldn`t put tobacco in it.
And l hated the work.
lt was hot and dirty and...
broke my back.
All day long l`d watch his spit...
which would run down the pipe stem and hang on the bowl of the pipe.
l used to make bets with myself on when it was gonna fall off.
And l always lost.
l never saw it fall off.
l`d just look around and it`d be gone and a new one would be there.
Then we had a beautiful--
Well, my mother taught me to love nature.
And...
l guess that was the most she could do.
And in front of our house...
we had this big field, meadow.
lt was a mustard field in the summer.
We had a big, black dog named Dutchy.
She used to hunt for rabbits in that field.
But she couldn`t see them.
So she`d have to leap up in this mustard field...
look around very quickly to see where the rabbits were.
And it was...
very beautiful.
She never caught the rabbits.
You have been had.
Oh, really?
l don`t wanna know anything about your past, baby.
Think l was telling you the truth?
Maybe.
l`m Red Riding Hood and you`re the wolf.
Oh, what strong arms you have.
The better to squeeze a fart out of you.
What long nails you have.
The better to scratch your ass with.
What a lot of fur you have.
The better to let your crabs hide in.
What a long tongue you have.
The better to stick in your rear, my dear.
What`s this for?
That`s your happiness and my ''ha-penis.''
Peanuts?
Schlong.
Prick.Joint.
lt`s funny.
lt`s like playing grown-ups when you`re little.
l feel like a child again here.
- Did you have fun as a kid? - lt`s the most beautiful thing.
ls it beautiful to be made into a tattletale...
or forced to admire authority or sell yourself for a piece of candy?
- l wasn`t like that. - No?
l was writing poems.
l was drawing castles, big castles with tower.
A lot of tower.
- You never thought about sex? - No, no sex.
- Tower.
You were probably in love with your teacher then.
- My teacher was a woman. - Then she was a lesbian.
- How did you know? - That`s classical.
But anyway--
My first love was my cousin Paul.
l`m gonna get a hemorrhoid if you keep telling me names.
No names.
l don`t mind if you tell the truth, but don`t give me the names.
- l can`t handle that. - Sorry.
Go on and tell the truth.
- What else? - l was 1 3.
He was dark, very thin.
l can see him. Big nose.
A big romance.
l fell in love with him when l heard him playing piano.
You mean, when he first got into your knickers.
He was a child prodigy. He was playing with both hands.
l`ll bet he was.
Probably getting his kicks.
- We were dying of heat. - Oh, yeah.
Good excuse. What else?
ln the afternoon, when the grown-ups were napping--
- You started grabbing his joint. - You`re crazy!
- Well, he touched you. - l never let him. Never.
Liar, liar, pants on fire, nose as long as a telephone wire.
You mean to tell me that he didn`t touch you?
Look me straight in the face and say ''He didn`t touch me once.''
No, he touched me, but the way he did it.
Aha! The way he did it. Okay, what did he do?
Behind the house there were two trees:
a plantain tree and a chestnut.
l sat under the plantain tree and he sat under the chestnut.
And one, two, three, we each began to masturbate.
The first who came won.
Why don`t you listen to me?
When did you first come? How old were you?
The first time?
l was very late for school.
l began running downhill.
Suddenly, l felt a strong sensation here.
l came as l ran.
Then l ran faster and faster, and the more l ran...
the more l came.
Two days later l tried running again...
but no dice.
Why don`t you listen to me?
You know, it seems to me l`m talking to the wall.
Your solitude weighs on me, you know?
lt isn`t indulgent or generous.
You`re an egoist!
l can be by myself too, you know.
We can`t sleep with this music.
l came to this hotel for one night...
and stayed for five years.
When we had the hotel people came here to sleep.
Now they do anything.
They hide out, take drugs, play music.
Remove that hand.
You`re not alone. l`m here.
You`re crazy!
l`m beginning to understand.
You want me to stop the music?
Okay.
l`ll make him shut up.
What are you doing, Paul?
What`s the matter, Mother? Are you upset? Don`t be upset.
Nothing really to be upset about.
lt takes so little to make them afraid. You wanna know what they`re afraid of?
They`re afraid of the dark. lmagine that.
l want you to meet my friend.
Turn on the light.
You ought to meet a few clients of the hotel.
Folks, l`d like you to say hello to Mom.
Mom, this is Mr.Juicehead Junkie.
And Mr. Saxophone...
he`s our connection, Mom.
Gives us some hard stuff.
And right here is the beautiful Miss Blow Job of 1 933.
She`s still making a few points when she takes her teeth out.
- Light, Paul. - Don`t you want to say hello?
This is Mom.
You afraid of the dark, Mom? She`s afraid of the dark.
Oh, well, poor thing. All right, sweetheart.
l`ll take care of you. Don`t worry. l`ll give you a little light.
Don`t you worry about a thing.
Let`s go back to bed.
- Good night, Madam. - Good night.
Good night, Marcel.
Good night, Paul.
Who is it?
You like?
He was Rosa`s lover.
What am l doing in this apartment with you?
Love?
Well...
let`s say we`re just taking...
a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut.
So you think l`m a ''wore.''
l think you`re a what? A what? A ''wore''?
- A ''wore.'' - You mean ''whore,'' right?
Yes. A whore.
No, you`re just a dear old-fashioned girl trying to get along.
Why were you going through my pockets?
To find out who you are.
- Yes. - Well, if you look real close...
you`ll see me hiding behind my zipper.
Well, we know that he buys clothes in some big store.
That`s not much...
but it`s a beginning.
That`s not a beginning. That`s a finish.
Well, okay. Let`s forget it.
How old are you?
l`ll be 93 this weekend.
Oh! You don`t look it.
Thank you.
- Have you been in college? - Oh, yeah.
Yeah, l went to...
the University of Congo.
- Studied whale fucking. - Wow.
Barbers don`t usually go to university.
Are you telling me that l look like a barber?
No, but that`s a razor`s barber.
That`s a barber`s razor.
Barber`s razors. Yes.
Or a madman`s.
So you want to cut me up?
No.
That would be like writing my name on your face.
Like they do to slaves?
Slaves are branded on the ass, and l want you free.
Free? l`m not free.
You want to know why you don`t want to know anything about me?
- Because you hate women. - Oh, really?
What have they ever done to you?
Well...
either they always pretend to know who l am...
or they pretend that l don`t know who they are, and that`s very boring.
l`m not afraid to say who l am. l`m 20 years old--
No! l-- Jesus Christ.
Where`s your brain?
Shut up.
Get it?
l know it`s tough, but you`re gonna have to bear it.
You know, these sinks are really beautiful.
They`re very rare. You don`t find them anymore.
l think it`s these sinks that let you stay together.
Hmm? Don`t you think?
What`s that? What`s all this?
Mad? Mad? Huh? Mad? Mad?
l think l`m happy with you.
Encore! Do it again!
Again!
l am coming. l am ready.
Are we going together?
He is a jerk. He didn`t even say bye!
What are you doing here?
l`m coming. l`m flying.
Stay there!
Why didn`t you talk on the phone?
What`s the matter?
Find another girl for your film.
But why?
You take advantage of me.
You make me do things l`ve never done.
You`re stealing my time.
You make me do whatever you want.
The film is over.
l`m tired of having my mind raped!
Come in.
You wanted to talk to me? Do.
But... ''l didn`t come here to cry with you.''
lt bothers you if l keep working?
lt distracts me after what happened.
ldentical.
- Rose wanted them identical. - Our bathrobes.
You can`t tell me anything l don`t already know.
Same color, same design.
Yes, yes.
You are precise.
l`m wondering why...
you save these newspaper clippings.
ls it a job or a hobby?
l don`t like the word ''hobby.''
lt`s a job to roll out the salary.
Then it`s serious.
lt`s a job that makes you read. Very instructive.
Be sincere.
Didn`t you know we had identical bathrobes?
We have lots of things in common.
l know everything.
Rose often told me about you.
l don`t think there are many such marriages.
lt`s strange.
l`m thirsty.
- A sip of bourbon? - Wait.
Here`s the ''bourbon.''
Another present from Rose?
l don`t like it, but Rose always wanted it around.
l`ve often wondered...
if by these details...
by certain unimportant things...
one can explain...
understand together.
Together?
For almost a year Rose and l, without passion...
but regularly--
l thought l knew her as one can know--
One`s mistress.
For example, a while ago something happened...
l couldn`t explain.
Look there on the wall.
She climbed up on the wall...
and tried to tear off the paper with her hands.
l stopped her. She was ruining her nails.
She did it with a strange...
violence.
l had never seen her like that.
Our room is painted white.
She wanted it different from the others...
so it would seem like...
a normal house.
She wanted to change in here too...
and she`d begun with the walls.
A fever blister.
Shit.
You were lucky enough to--
to be--
You must have been a good man...
20 years ago.
Not as much as you.
You have all your hair.
l have to cut it often and wash it.
l wash my hair often.
Do you have massages?
You`re in good shape.
What do you do for the belly?
That`s my problem.
Here.
- l have a secret. - What?
Thinking of leaving?
The suitcase.
America.
Why did she betray you with me?
You don`t think Rose killed herself?
lt`s difficult for me, too, to believe it.
Here`s my secret.
Thirty times every morning.
Really, Marcello...
l wonder what she ever saw in you.
Are you here?
Nobody here?
Hi, monster.
Something wrong?
- There`s some butter in the kitchen. - So you`re here.
- Why didn`t you answer? - Go get the butter.
l have a cab downstairs waiting.
Go get the butter.
lt makes me crazy...
that you`re so damn sure that l`d come back here.
What do you think?
That an American on the floor in an empty house...
eating cheese and drinking water is interesting?
What`s under here?
An empty space.
Can you hear it?
- lt`s hollow. - Yeah. That`s a hiding place.
- Don`t open it. - Why not?
l don`t know. Don`t open it.
What about that? Can l open that?
Wait a minute.
Maybe there`s jewels in it.
Maybe there`s gold.
- You afraid? - No.
No?
You`re always afraid.
No, but maybe there is some family secrets inside.
Family secrets?
l`ll tell you about family secrets.
What are you doing here?
l`m gonna tell you about the family.
A holy institution...
meant to breed virtue in savages.
l want you to repeat it after me.
Repeat it. Say it.
A holy family...
Go on, say it.
Go on. Holy family. Church of good citizens.
Church...
Of good citizens.
Say it. Say it.
The children are tortured until they tell their first lie.
The children...
are tortured...
Where the world is broken by repression.
Where freedom...
is assassinated--
Where freedom is assassinated by egotism.
Family.
You...
fucking--
You fucking...
family.
You fucking family.
Oh, God.
Jesus.
Shit!
Hey, you.
Yes, you.
l`ve got a surprise for you.
- What? - l`ve got a surprise for you.
That`s good.
l like surprises.
What is it?
Music. But l don`t know how to work it.
Did you enjoy that?
Know why l sent everyone away?
Because you want to be alone with me.
And why?
Because you have something important to tell me.
lt`s something very important.
Happy or sad?
lt`s a secret.
Then it`s happy.
What kind of secret?
A secret between a man...
and a woman.
Dirt or love?
Love. And it`s not everything.
A love secret that isn`t everything? What is it?
That in a week l`m marrying you.
What?
l`m marrying you!
- l`m marrying you! - Marrying me?
- Let`s get married? - Yes. Let`s get married!
- Shall we marry or not? - Yes, let`s get married.
Yes or no?
Send everything to the country.
What do you think,Jeanne?
Olympia will be happy.
l went with Tom.
He`s preparing a family museum.
Papa`s boots, no.
l`ll keep them.
They give me strange shivers.
These military things never get old.
How heavy it was when Papa taught me to shoot.
l`ll keep that.
lt`s a good idea to have a weapon in the house.
- But if you don`t know how to use it? - lt`s enough to have it.
lt frightens.
You saved everything of Papa`s.
This was his orderly.
A fine example of a Berber.
A strong race, but as servants-- disastrous.
Send everything to the country.
Enough accumulating.
Don`t worry. Soon you`ll have lots of space.
What`s that mean?
Nothing.
Madame, the colonel`s lady, announces...
What?
that in these solemn days...
What solemn days?
l`m getting married in a week.
What did you say?
To Tom! ln a week!
- What? - Tom!
- ln one week! - What are you doing in a week?
Rolling. Five... two.
Come forward. Start shooting.
Yes, yes, we are coming.
Wait. Push your arm.
How do you see marriage?
- The marriage? - Yes.
l see it everywhere. Always.
Everywhere?
On walls, on housefronts.
Yes, on posters.
What do the posters say?
They talk about cars...
canned meat, cigarettes.
No, the subject is the young couple...
before marriage, without children.
Then, after the marriage, with the children.
Marriage, in short.
The ideal, successful marriage...
isn`t anymore the old style, in church...
with a depressed and a complaining wife.
Today, the advertising marriage is smiling.
Smiling? ln the posters.
But why not take the poster marriage seriously?
Marriage. The pop marriage.
Pop.
There`s the formula.
For pop youth, pop marriage.
And if it doesn`t work?
Fix it like a car.
The couple are two workmen in overalls...
repairing a motor.
And in case of adultery, what happens?
lnstead of two workmen, there are three or four.
And love?
ls love pop too?
No. Love is not pop.
lf it is not pop, what is it?
The workmen go to a secret place.
They take off their overalls, becoming men and women again...
and make love.
You`re superb!
lt`s the dress that makes the bride.
You`re better than Rita Hayworth...
than Joan Crawford...
Kim Novak...
Lauren Bacall...
Ava Gardner when she loved Mickey Rooney!
What are you doing? Stop!
Why don`t you film with the rain? You are crazy!
- Where`s Jeanne? - She ran out.
Where`d she go in this rain?
Pardon me!
Forgive me!
l wanted to leave you. l could not.
l wanted to leave you, and l couldn`t.
l can`t.
l can`t leave you. Understand?
Do you still want me?
Bang.
Oh, there once was a man
And he had an old sow
You know, you`re wet.
A rat.
lt`s only a rat.
There`s more rats in Paris than people.
- l want to go! - Wait. Wait.
Don`t you want a bite first? You don`t want to run and eat.
This is the end!
No, this is the end.
But l like to start with the head. That`s the best part.
Are you sure you won`t have any?
Okay.
- What`s the matter? You don`t dig rat? - l want to go!
l can`t make love in this bed anymore. l can`t.
lt`s disgusting. Nauseating.
Well, we`ll fuck on the radiator or standing on the mantle.
l gotta get some mayonnaise for this. lt really is good with mayonnaise.
And l`ll save the asshole for you.
A rat`s asshole in mayonnaise!
l want to get out of here. l want to go away.
l can`t take it anymore here.
l`m going away.
l`m never coming back. Never.
Quo vadis, baby?
l forgot to tell you something.
l fell in love with somebody.
Oh, isn`t that wonderful? Oh, gosh.
You`re gonna have to get out of these wet duds.
And l`m going to make love with him.
Well...
first you have to take a hot bath.
`Cause if you don`t, you`re gonna get pneumonia. Right?
Then you know what happens?
You get pneumonia, and then you know what happens? You die.
You know what happens then, when you die?
l get to fuck the dead rat.
- Give me the soap. - l`m in love.
You`re in love? How delightful.
l`m in love! l`m in love! You understand?
l`m in love! l`m in love!
You know, you`re old.
- And you`re getting fat. - Fat, is it? How unkind.
Half of your hair is out. The other half is almost white.
ln ten years you`re gonna be playing soccer with your tits.
You know what l`ll be doing?
You will be in a wheelchair.
Well, maybe.
But l`ll be smirking and giggling all the way to eternity.
How poetic.
But, please, before you go wash my feet.
Okay.
Noblesse oblige.
You know, he and l, we make love.
Oh, really?
That`s wonderful. ls he a good fucker?
Magnificent.
You know, you`re a jerk.
`Cause the best fucking you`re gonna get is right here in this apartment.
Stand up.
He`s full of mysteries.
Give me the soap.
Listen, you dumb dodo...
all the mysteries that you`re ever gonna know in life are right here.
He`s like everybody, but at the same time he`s different.
You mean, like everybody.
Yeah, but even he frightens me.
What is he, your local pimp?
He could be. He looks it.
- You know why l`m in love with him? - l can`t wait.
Because he knows how to make me fall in love with him.
Oh. You want this man that you love to protect you and take care of you.
Yeah.
You want this golden, shining, powerful warrior...
to build a fortress that you can hide in...
so you don`t ever have to be afraid...
or feel lonely or feel empty.
- That`s what you want? - Yes.
Well, you`ll never find him.
But l`ve found this man.
Then it won`t be long until he`ll want you to build a fortress for him...
out of your tits and your cunt and your hair and your smile...
and the way you smell.
Someplace where he can feel comfortable enough and secure enough...
so that he can worship in front of the altar of his own prick.
But l`ve found this man.
No. You`re alone.
You`re all alone...
and you won`t be able to be free of that feeling of being alone...
until you look death right in the face.
That sounds like bullshit, some romantic crap...
until you go right up into the ass of death.
Right up in his ass.
Till you find the womb of fear.
And then maybe...
maybe then you`ll be able to find him.
But l`ve found this man.
He`s you. You are that man.
Give me the scissors.
- What? - Give me the fingernail scissors.
No. l want you to cut the fingernails on your right hand.
These two.
That`s it.
Put your fingers up my ass.
What?
Put your fingers up my ass. Are you deaf?
Go on.
l`m gonna get a pig...
and l`m gonna have the pig fuck you.
l want the pig to vomit in your face...
and l want you to swallow the vomit.
- You gonna do that for me? - Yeah.
l want the pig to die while you`re fucking him.
Then you have to go behind it and smell the dying farts of the pig.
- Are you gonna do all that for me? - Yes, and more than that!
And worse. Worse than before.
You look ridiculous in that makeup.
Like the caricature of a whore.
A little touch of mommy in the night.
Fake Ophelia drowned in the bathtub.
l wish you could see yourself. You`d really laugh.
You`re your mother`s masterpiece.
Oh, Christ.
There`s too many fucking flowers in this place. l can`t breathe.
You know, in the top of the closet, cardboard box...
l found all your--
l found all your little goodies.
Pens, key chains...
foreign money, French ticklers...
the whole shot.
Even a clergyman`s collar.
l didn`t know you collected all those little knickknacks left behind.
Even if a husband lives...
200 fucking years...
he`s never gonna be able to discover his wife`s real nature.
l might be able to comprehend the universe...
but...
l`ll never discover the truth about you. Never.
l mean, who the hell were you?
Remember that day...
the first day l was there?
l knew l couldn`t get into your pants unless l said--
What did l say? Oh, yes.
''May l have my bill, please? l have to leave.''
Remember?
Last night l...
l ripped off the lights on your mother...
and the whole joint went bananas.
All your guests, as you used to call them--
Well, l guess that includes me, doesn`t it?
Huh?
lt does include me, doesn`t it?
For five years l was more a guest in this fucking flophouse...
than a husband.
With privileges, of course.
Then, to help me understand...
you let me inherit Marcel...
the husband`s double whose room was the double of ours.
And you know what?
l didn`t even have the guts to ask him...
if the same numbers you and l did were the same numbers you did with him.
Our marriage was nothing more than a foxhole for you...
and all it took for you to get out was a 35-cent razor and a tub full of water.
You cheap, goddamn fucking, godforsaken whore.
l hope you rot in hell.
You`re worse than the dirtiest street pig anyone could find, and you know why?
You know why? Because you lied.
You lied to me, and l trusted you.
You knew you were lying.
Tell me you didn`t lie.
Haven`t you got anything to say about that?
You can think up something, can`t you? Huh?
Go on, tell me something. Go on, smile, you cunt.
Go on. Tell me something sweet.
Smile at me and say that l just misunderstood.
Go on, tell me...
you pig fucker.
You goddamn fucking, pig-fucking liar.
l`m sorry. l--
l just can`t-- l can`t stand it...
to see these goddamn things on your face.
You never wore makeup, all this fucking shit.
l`m gonna take this off your mouth.
Lipstick.
Oh, God.
l`m sorry.
l don`t know why you did it.
l`d do it too, if l knew how.
l just don`t know--
l just have to find a way--
ls somebody there?
What?
There is some noise there.
All right, l`m-- l`m coming.
l have to go.
l have to go, sweetheart. Somebody`s calling me.
Then is there somebody?
Yeah. l`m coming.
Hurry up!
Wake up!
Open up!
- But it`s 4:00 a.m. - l need the usual room. Number 4.
Half an hour will do.
Yes, yes. Half an hour.
- We`re full. - No, indeed.
When you`re full you put out a sign. l know.
l`m tired of arguing.
Call the owner.
Move it! The owner`s always been helpful to me.
We`re old friends, Rose and me.
Open, please.
Knock it off if you don`t want me to tell her.
Come in. All set.
Happy? He left me.
Sorry.
Hurry, please. He can`t be too far.
Talk him into coming back. Tell him this can`t be done.
Please don`t say you found me.
Did you see how ugly she is?
Once my wife was enough for me, but now...
she`s got a disease that gives her snake skin.
- Put yourself in my place. - Come. Come with me.
Let me go. Please let me go.
You`re crazy! Let me go!
Get up, you faggot! Get the fuck out of here!
Faggot!
Don`t you remember the gentlemen in 4? He`s been living here for a few days.
l don`t know anyone.
They come in, go out.
The man in 4. The lady in 1 . What do l know?
Where`d they take the furniture? lt`s empty.
Where do you send his mail? Give me the address.
l don`t have it.
l don`t know anyone.
- Not even his name? - Nothing.
Miss!
l found an apartment for us.
1 Jules Verne Street.
Yes, in Passy.
Come quick. Come right away.
You understood where it is?
l`ll wait for you. Come.
Come in.
You like our apartment?
lt`s full of light.
There`s one room too small for a big bed.
Maybe for a baby.
Fidel. Nice name for a kid.
Fidel. Like Castro.
But l want a daughter too. Rose.
Like Rose Luxembourg. She`s not as well known, but she`s not bad.
l wanted to film you every day.
ln the morning when you wake up, then when you fall asleep.
When you smile the first time.
And l didn`t film anything.
Today we finish shooting.
The film is finished.
l don`t like things that finish.
One must begin something else right away.
But it`s huge!
Who are you?
- You could get lost in here. - Oh, stop it.
How`d you find it?
By chance.
- We`ll change everything. - Everything.
We`ll change chance to fate.
Come forward. Take off!
You`re in heaven!
Now dive!
Make three turns! Descend!
What`s happening to me? An air pocket.
What`s happening to you?
Enough of these turbulent zones.
We can`t joke like this, like children.
- We`re adults. - Adults? That`s terrible.
Yes, it`s terrible.
- Then how must we act? - l don`t know.
lnvent gestures, words.
For example...
One thing l do know.
Adults are serious, logical...
circumspect, hairy...
They face all problems.
Here, this apartment is not for us.
Absolutely not.
- Where are you going? - To look for another.
Another like what?
One you can live in.
But you can live here.
l find this sad. lt smells.
- Come with me? - No, no.
l have to close the windows, give back the keys, leave it all in order.
Okay. Okay.
Bye.
lt`s me again.
lt`s over. lt`s over.
lt`s over, then it begins again.
What begins again? l don`t understand anything anymore.
There`s nothing to understand.
We left the apartment...
and now we begin again with love and all the rest of it.
- The rest? - Yeah, listen.
l`m 45. l`m a widower.
l`ve got a little hotel.
lt`s kind of a dump, but it`s not completely a flophouse.
l used to live on my luck. l got married.
My wife killed herself and--
But what the hell. l`m no prize.
l picked up a nail in Cuba in 1 948.
Now l got a prostate like an ldaho potato.
But l`m still a good stick man, even if l can`t have any kids.
Let`s see. l don`t have any stomping grounds.
l don`t have any friends.
l suppose if l hadn`t met you...
l` d probably settle for a hard chair and a hemorrhoid.
Anyway, to make a long, dull story even duller...
l come from a time when a guy like me would drop into a joint like this...
and pick up a young chick like you...
and call her a bimbo.
l`m awfully sorry to intrude...
but l was so struck with your beauty...
that l thought perhaps l could offer you a glass of champagne.
ls this seat taken?
May l?
lf you`d like to.
You know, the tango is a rite.
You understand ''rite''?
You must watch the legs of the dancers.
You haven`t drunk your champagne.
And then l ordered you a Scotch, and you haven`t drunk your Scotch.
Now, come on.
Just a sip for Daddy.
Now, if you love me you`ll drink all of it.
Okay. l love you.
Bravo.
Tell me about your wife.
Let`s talk about us.
Okay.
But this place is so pitiful.
Yes, but l`m here, aren`t l?
Mr. mâitre d`hôtel.
That`s rather nasty.
Anyway, you dummy, l love you...
and l want to live with you.
ln your flophouse?
ln my flophouse? What the hell does that mean?
What the hell difference does it make if l have a flophouse, a hotel or a castle?
l love you. What the fuck difference does it make?
The jury has just chosen...
the following ten best couples.
Three, seven...
eight, nine...
eleven, twelve...
thirteen, fourteen, fifteen...
and nineteen.
Then, ladies and gentlemen...
all best wishes for the last tango.
Give me some more whiskey.
l thought you weren`t drinking.
But l`m thirsty now, and l want some more drink.
All right.
l think that`s a good idea-- Wait a minute.
Because you`re really beautiful--
Wait a minute.
l`m sorry.
l`m terribly sorry. l didn`t mean to spill my drink.
Let`s have a toast...
to our life in the hotel.
No! Fuck all that. Come on.
No. Hey, listen.
Let`s drink a toast to our life in the country.
You`re a nature lover? You didn`t tell me that.
l`m Nature Boy.
Can`t you see me with the cows and the chicken shit all over me?
Oh, yeah.
To the house of the cows.
l will be your cow too.
And listen, l get to milk you twice a day.
- How about that? - l hate the country.
- What do you mean? - l hate it.
l prefer to go to the hotel.
Come on. Let`s go to your hotel.
Listen, let`s dance. How about that? Let`s dance.
Don`t you want to dance?
Out! What are you doing?
lt`s love! Always--
But it`s a contest! Where`s the love fit in?
Go to the movies to see love!
Oh, by God...
this is the end of our love affair, darling.
Kiss this!
Farewell forever. Farewell, you sweet peach blossom.
Oh, my mother`s eyes! Good-bye!
l am lost forever!
Oh, my hemorrhoid.
Beauty of mine, sit before me.
Let me peruse you and remember you always like this.
''lf music be the food of love, play on.''
What`s the matter with you?
lt`s finished.
What`s the matter with you?
lt`s finished.
What`s finished?
We`re never going to see each other again. Never.
That`s ridiculous.
lt`s not a joke.
Ooh, you dirty rat.
lt`s finished.
Look, when something`s finished, it begins again. Don`t you see?
l`m getting married.
l`m going away.
lt`s finished.
Well...Jesus.
Listen, that`s not a subway strap. That`s me cock.
lt`s finished!
Oh,Jesus.
Wait a minute!
You dumb bimbo.
Shit. Wait a minute, goddamn it.
Come here!
l`m gonna get you!
Bimbo!
Stop. Stop!
Hold it.
Enough!
- Listen-- - Enough! lt`s over!
Go away! Go away!
Give me a break.
l`ll call the police!
l smell the hen house.
Shit, l`m not in your way.
l mean, after you, mademoiselle.
So long, sister.
Besides, you`re a crummy-looking broad.
l don`t give a damn if l never see you again.
Jesus.
lt`s over. lt`s over!
Fuck the police.
Police!
l wanna talk to you about it, for Christ`s sake.
You`re crazy!
Help!
Help me, please!
Please help!
Oh,Jesus.
This is getting ridiculous.
Help!
This is the title shot, baby.
We`re going all the way.
Oh, Christ.
lt`s a little old...
but full of memories.
How do you like your hero?
Over easy or sunny side up?
You ran through Africa and Asia...
and lndonesia...
and now l`ve found you.
And l love you.
l want to know your name.
Our children--
Our children...
will remember.
l don`t know who he is.
He followed me on the street.
He tried to rape me. He`s a madman.
l don`t know his name.
l don`t know who he is.
He wanted to rape me.
l don`t know.
l don`t know him.
l don`t know who he is.
He`s a madman.
l don`t know his name.
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