靠 太倒霉了吧 兄台 Wow! Bummer, dude.
你有台时光机 You have a time machine?
却把自己传送到这间破烂餐厅 And somehow, it got programmed to this crap diner?
我承认 我是挺迷蒸汽朋克的 I must admit, I am quite taken with steampunk.
蒸汽朋克: 上世纪80-90年代初的科幻题材 对工业革命早期科技着迷 并虚构出蒸汽力至上的世界
蒸汽朋克啊 我记得啊 Oh, steampunk, right. I remember that trend.
那玩意儿在2000年的 It happened for, like, ten seconds
"你当我白痴啊"时代流行过十秒钟 back in 2000 and-are-you-kidding-me?
兄台 说真的 坐在公共场合里 Dude, seriously, you're sitting in a public place
在老式打字机上敲敲打打 tap-tap-tapping on an oldie typewriter?
你以为你谁啊 What are you?
超装逼联盟的参赛选手吗 In the league of extraordinarily pretentious gentlemen?
你说话有点太咄咄逼人了吧 Aren't you being a little aggressive?
没错 Yup.
我们未来世界的人都这么说话 That's how people are here in the present where we live.
你别误会我 But don't get me wrong.
我也想要穿梭时空呢 I'd like to go back in time, too.
去阻止911或那乱"射"在我鞋上的变态 Maybe stop 9/11 or that creep who had sex on my shoe,
可我没办法啊 but I can't.
什么未来世界啊 瞧你那身制服 Present? Where's that uniform from?
1998年买的吗 From like, 1998?
再乱说 Oh, stop, or I'm going to have
我就要用的威森的枪崩了你啦 to shoot you with a Smith & Wesson
史密斯威森: 1855年建立的手枪军械制造商 以制作左轮手枪闻名
枪就藏在我的灯笼裤里哦 I'm currently packing in my bloomers.
灯笼裤在1850年初开始广为流传
吾去给汝拿份菜单吧 I'll go get thee a menu, my good man.
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打工
姐妹花
第23-24集
第一季
打工
姐妹花
第23-24集
第一季
翻译 死命狂哭YY猫
翻译 用命翻译赛太公
后期 鱼骨头
时间轴 总监 死命狂哭YY猫
大伙们 听我说一下 Attention, everyone.
我跟麦克斯有深夜小礼物要给你们 Max and I have a little late-night treat for you.
别用这种兴奋的语气说好吗 Don't say it all excited like that.
你又不是给毒品 厄尔会失望得发火的 Now when it's not drugs, Earl's going to be pissed.
你被邀请参加万分重要的 You are invited to a very important taste-test
麦克斯自制小蛋糕品尝会 of Max's homemade cupcakes.
好的 不过我只吃一个哦 Okay, but I will have only one.
我一旦有了小肚腩 单身女郎会叫我弥勒佛 When I get a tummy, single ladies call me Buddha
然后摸我肚皮求好运 and rub me for luck.
我也得小心 I gotta watch out, too.
上次我回家前 吃了一个麦克斯的 Last time I had Max's chocolate espresso cupcake
黑咖啡小蛋糕 just before going home,
到早上5点都睡不着 I was awake till 5:00 A.M.,
手洗了一夜的丁字裤 hand washing all my thongs.
丁字裤啊 你个小坏蛋 Thongs? Earl, you devil.
别看我头顶花白 白发胜雪 That's right, just because there's snow on the roof
裤裆里还是龙精虎猛 翻江倒海呢 doesn't mean there's not swing in the sling.
卡洛琳 亲爱的 你能去我座位 Oh, Caroline, darling. Can you go back over there?
帮我拿赛马报吗 I forgot my racing form.
赛马啊 害我好想念栗宝 Oh, horse racing? It reminds me of Chestnut.
麦克斯 小栗宝 Max... Chestnut.
你装个屁哭脸啊 What's with the sad face?
你的马就住在附近的豪华马厩 Your horse is living it up at a fancy stable nearby.
又不是住在天国的种马场 Not gone to the great stud farm in the sky.
有人提到"种马场"吗 Did someone say "stud farm"?
我的精每0.9升10块 包生男的15块 My fee is $10 a quart or $15 if you want a boy.
不错啊 Wow.
跟苏菲分手的情伤复原的挺快嘛 You bounced back from your Sophie breakup pretty quick.
我们不是真分手 It was not a real breakup.
她很快又会回到我身边 I will have her very soon again.
现阶段 我就淡定的躲在草丛 Right now, I lay low and wait in bushes
如同盯上猎物的猎豹 like determined jungle cat.
是盯上猎物的强奸犯吧 Or a rapist.
给 赛马报 Racing forms, here you go.
厄尔 找机会 Earl, maybe some time
你也带我去马场吧 you will take me out to the track with you.
我以前在韩国时 常常骑马呢 I used to ride horses all the time in Korea.
是超市外那种一次一硬币的 The mechanical ones for a quarter
电动小马吗 in front of supermarkets?
麦克斯 我可是很厉害的骑师 Actually, Max, I'm a very good rider.
我受过赛马骑师的训练呢 In fact, I was training to be a jockey
可惜我身高不够高 but was too short.
矮到当不了骑师吗 Too short to be a jockey?
赛马骑师对身高要求严格 通常只选身高矮小的男子
这也太悲催了吧 阿憨 That's a hard hit, my man.
阿憨 真没想到你也爱马 Han, I had no idea you loved horses, too.
怎么都没听你提过啊 Why didn't you ever say anything?
那你怎么不问问我有什么兴趣呢 Well, why didn't you ever ask about any of my interests?
我来告诉你原因 I'll tell you why.
因为你开口闭口永远都是 Because all you ever talk about is
我们的小蛋糕生意如何如何 "our cupcake business, our cupcake business."
你这张光盘就没别的曲子了吗 Doesn't your CD have other tracks?
话说 我们的小蛋糕生意 Anyway, our cupcake business
明天有场十分重要的会面呢 has a very important meeting tomorrow
要去见派对大师 保罗·普拉特 with Paul Platt, the party planner.
我也认识个派对大师 I know a party planner, too.
他在墨西哥独立日时 He sells J.Lo. and Salma Hayek pinatas
会在街上卖明星头像的彩陶罐 off back of truck for Cinco de Mayo.
萨尔玛·海耶克 性感大胸女星
我要一个海耶克头像的罐子 Awesome. Put me down for a Hayek.
有额外空间 装糖方便 More storage space for candy.
我们要见的可是曼哈顿的大红人 Well, our party planner is the it guy in Manhattan.
明天我要跟麦克斯带小蛋糕 And tomorrow, Max and I are doing
去他办公室给他品尝 a tasting for him at his office.
怎么有人能矮到不能当马师啊 How can someone be too short to be a jockey?
马师不就得是矮子吗 Isn't that the whole point?
麦克斯 你没事吧 Are you all right, Max?
我尽快赶来了 I got here as fast as I could.
卡洛琳发短信叫我快来 Caroline texted me to hurry over
说你不知道自己怀孕 because you didn't know you were pregnant,
还准备要在厕所生孩子 and you were giving birth over toilet.
我抓着马桶吸就冲来了 So I grabbed my plunger and ran!
太夸张了吧 我没发过这短信啊 That is insane. I never texted that.
是我偷用你手机发的 No, I did, when I stole your phone.
我要拐苏菲过来得有理由嘛 I needed a reason to get Sophie over here.
我不敢相信她会信你的屁话 I can't believe she believed it.
麦克斯 在厕所里生娃 Oh, come on, Max. Giving birth over toilet?
很像你会干的事嘛 That is very you.
苏菲 既然你都来了 坐吧 Now that you are here, Sophie, sit.
我想跟你说一件重要的事 I want to tell you something important.
你就算了吧 Well, you can forget that.
我才不会留下来呢 There's no way I'm going to stay.
有小蛋糕派对啊 A cupcake party?
这一个上面还有椒盐卷饼呢 Oh, look, and this one even has a pretzel in it.
那是我们的"咸配香料"口味 Yup, that's our "salty n' spice"
给喜爱新奇口味的顾客 for our more adventurous customers.
而保守的白人顾客呢 Also for the uptight white people,
我们也做了传统的香草口味 we have the very, very vanilla
也毫无意外的... 是我最爱的口味 which is... big surprise... my favorite.
这是酒混面粉加枫蜜培根的 And this is our beer-batter maple bacon
特制春假小蛋糕 spring break cupcake.
给瘾君子的 比如我的最爱啦 That's for stoners, and big surprise, my favorite.
我们只能选四个口味 We can only take four flavors
带去代表我们的小蛋糕店 to represent our cupcake business.
你看 说话从来都只提自己的事 See? Not one word ever about anyone else.
有人在乎我其实有养只小雪貂吗 I have a pet ferret, if anyone gives a damn.
我也有大消息 Well, I have some big news
想要跟在座的各位分享 I want to share with you all as well.
苏菲 也就是坐在那里的高贵仕女 Sophie, that classy lady right over there...
我喜欢这个口味 Mm, I like this one.
她不久前刚与我分手 She recently broke it off with me
理由是 她想跟一个有梦想 because she wanted to be with a man
有追求的男人在一起 who had a dream and a drive.
所以我买了台"追求" So I have bought a drive...
一台林肯豪华加长轿车 A Lincoln town car.
没错 我现在当司机还有新标语 Yes, I have a new car service and slogan:
"放松坐好 你不喊停 我绝不停下" "lie back and I will ride you till you tell me to stop."
奥列格 所以你现在要当轿车司机 So, Oleg, you now have a town car business?
而苏菲 你总是租加长轿车 And Sophie, you rent town cars all the time.
那又如何 Oh, oh, please.
我也喜欢吃炸鸡 难道我还得嫁给 I mean, I love pizza, too, but that doesn't mean
肯德基爷爷吗 I have to marry PaPa John.
我刚在想 你可能会对我车上那面 I was just thinking, you might want to come out back
会发亮的化妆镜有兴趣呢 and take a look at the light-up makeup mirror on visors.
会发亮的化妆镜 Light-up makeup mirror?
感觉挺有意思啊 Oh, I might be interested.
不过我不要单独跟你去 But not just you and I.
阿憨也一起来吧 Han will come as well.
终于啊 有人邀请阿憨一起去玩 Finally! Han is getting invited to something.
别人只邀我加入网站过 Other than LinkedIn.
品尝会估计也告一段落了 不过没事 So much for the taste test. It's fine.
我知道怎么做对我们的小蛋糕生意最有利 I know what's best for our cupcake business.
我的确是很常提到呢 I do say that a lot,
不过听着舒服 我喜欢 but I think it's kind of charming.
我去拿我们的外套吧 I'll go get our coats.
你看你 Mm, mm, mm. Look at you.
我必须得说 你进步非常大啊 I must say, I'm impressed with how far you've come.
烤坏了几千个小蛋糕 Well, you burn a few thousand cupcakes,
总会上手的 you're bound to get better.
不只是烤蛋糕技术啊 麦克斯 Not just the cupcakes, Max.
你人也进步了许多 Look how far you've come.
想当年 你只是个打工混日子 When I think of that girl who came in here
能过一天是一天的人 just looking to get by...
瞧你现在 Hey, and check you out now.
要去曼哈顿跟大人物面谈了 厉害啊 Big, fancy meeting in Manhattan. Lordy lord!
-厄尔 只是小面谈啦 -或许吧 - It's only a meeting, Earl. - Maybe.
可如果你是一匹赛马 But if you were one of these horses,
我愿把毕生积蓄压在你身上呢 I'd put all of my money on you, Max.
保罗·普拉特派对公司 请稍等 Paul Platt parties. Please hold.
可怜的娃啊 Poor kid.
如果我是他 我就会对人说 If I had that job, I'd be asking someone
请拿枪毙了我吧 to please hold a gun to my head.
能为保罗·普拉特工作 他一定很兴奋 He's probably excited to be working for Paul Platt.
看看这些杂志 Look at all these magazines
都称他是下一代的玛莎·斯图尔特 calling him the next Martha Stewart.
玛莎·斯图尔特 美国家政女皇 出身微寒 经过多年苦心经营 成为美国第二富婆
有一天 杂志也会有我们的专题的 Someday, we'll have articles about us.
还配上我们俩站在 You know, pictures of you and me
我们别墅外的照片 standing outside our country home.
等等 Hold on.
我们有钱后还得一起住啊 We're rich and still living together?
好了 她要走了 轮到我们了 Okay, she's leaving. This is us.
是该到我们了 About time.
坐等好久 我屁股都睡着了 Been sitting here so long my ass is asleep,
但我是不会夹着屁股逃跑的 which kind of goes against my theory that it won't quit.
保罗还有点事 请稍等 Hi, Paul's going to be a little longer.
没关系 不过还... It's fine. It's just how much...
保罗·普拉特派对公司 请稍等 Paul Platt parties, please hold.
-保罗·普拉特派对公司 -还得等... - Paul Platt parties... - How much longer...
-请稍等 -我们还是他们 - Please hold. - Me or them?
坐得我屁乱如麻啊 I got the ass pins and needles.
-麦克斯 -干嘛 反正没轮到我们 - Max. - What? We're on hold.
请坐吧 再稍等五分钟 Have a seat. Five more minutes.
保罗·普拉特派对公司 Paul Platt parties.
派对公司墙上挂写着派对的画 The word "Party" at a party planner's?
脱裤子放屁嘛 Little obvious.
跟我挂一幅"孤独终老"一样多余 Like me having art that says "will die alone."
等等 Wait.
不会吧 这是强尼画的 I think this is Johnny's art. No way.
当然不会 强尼只是小角色 "No way" is right. Johnny's a nobody.
保罗·普拉特才不屑挂强尼的画呢 Paul Platt wouldn't have a framed "Johnny" in his office.
你看这签名 写着电子图档哥呢 Look, signed "Jpeg." That's his tag.
这画谁画的啊 Yo, what's the deal with this art?
一个街头艺术家 It's a street artist.
最近还挺火热的 Everyone's getting really into him now.
是吗 Oh, yeah?
几个月前他也想跟我"搞"得火热呢 He was trying to get into me a few months ago.
其实是有故事的啦 It was more emotional than that.
他搞外遇来找她 He cheated on his girlfriend with her
后来又把她甩了 and then blew her off.
这事情还挺打击我们的 It was really hard for us.
靠 你刚还说我拍屁股不适当 And you thought me slapping my ass
说这些话就适当啊 in front of him was inappropriate?
-强尼成功啦 -恭喜他 - Wow, Johnny made it. - Well, good for him.
他功成名就 我们也快了 He's making it, we're making it...
我们快成功个屁 We're making it?
我还得用油性笔给我的靴子补色 I magic-markered over the scuffs on my boot,
而且我们连穷人版 and we can't even get past
约翰·库萨克这一关都过不去 the poor man's John Cusack over there.
约翰·库萨克: 美国知名男演员
麦克斯 我们成功在望 Max, we are making it.
我们度过了这么多难关 We've come a long way.
我们都没用星巴克餐巾纸 We haven't used Starbucks napkins
当厕纸好久了 for toilet paper in months.
你看 我们一直在往上爬嘛 And now, look where we are.
到现在 居然能有机会见保罗·普拉特 We've got a meeting with Paul Platt.
你得说出口 "我们成功在望" Say it, "we're making it."
我是认真的 你得说出口 I'm serious. Say it, Max.
我们成功在望 We are making it.
好啦 我们成功在望 Okay, we're making it.
-卡洛琳·钱宁 -到我们了 - Caroline channing. - This is us!
-这个嘛... -又怎么了 再等五分钟吗 - Ahh. - What, five more minutes?
突然有要事 改约周一下午4点了 Monday at 4:00. Something came up.
好吧 周一下午4点 Oh, okay. Well, Monday at 4:00.
没这回事的对吧 There's no Monday at 4:00.
他说周一下午4点 没骗人吧 He said Monday at 4:00. Monday at 4:00, right?
当然没有 周一下午4点见 Absolutely. Monday at 4:00.
其实他没要见你们 There is no Monday at 4:00.
我有点糊涂了 是有要见面吗 I'm confused. Is there a Monday at 4:00?
记录着呢 周一下午4点 保罗等不及了 In the books, Monday at 4:00. Paul can't wait.
他压根没有要见你们 There is no Monday at 4:00.
我搞糊涂了 我们是来还是不来啊 I don't understand. Are we coming in Monday at 4:00?
当然来啊 保罗很喜欢你们 Absolutely. Paul's a big fan.
周一别来了 Don't come in on Monday.
你能解释一下到底怎么了吗 Can you please tell me what's going on?
最近新闻在报导你老爸被转移到 See, it's this news about your father being moved
舒坦的高智慧罪犯监狱 to a cushy white collar prison this week.
保罗不敢跟叫"钱宁"的人扯上关系 Paul can't have anything to do with someone named Channing,
毕竟全市都在不爽"钱宁"呢 'cause everyone in New York is pissed.
你看 我的过去阴魂不散 Look at all that. It never stops.
我还得再受多少折磨啊 How much more of this do I have to take?
所以我们周一见吧 So we'll see you on Monday!
别来了 Don't come.
靠 早知道不叫我屁股起床了 I woke my ass up for this?
麦克斯 小蛋糕太好吃了 Mmm. This was delicious, Max.
给你20块吧 不用找钱了 Here's a $20. Keep the change.
苏菲 你这是干嘛 What are you doing, Sophie?
我不可能收你小蛋糕钱的 You don't pay for the cupcakes.
为了生意而收下吧 No, take it for your business.
你们跟派对大师的面谈失败后 Ever since your big party planner meeting went bust,
我就一直很担心你们 I was worried that you two girls
会办一个自杀姐妹会 might form a joint suicide pact.
我们才没有这么强大的组织力 Nah, we're not that organized.
卡洛琳心情如何 So how's Caroline today?
比我想象中的好多了 She's handling it all better than I thought.
她去见她爸爸的代表律师了 She's with her father's lawyer right now,
想趁她老爸移监前 trying to figure out the best time for her
找出一个好时机去探访他 to go out to the prison to see him before he's moved.
是我的新手机 Oh, that is my new phone.
你的基佬娃娃上还粘了支手机呢 You know there's a phone stuck to that gay Furby, right?
这是我去14街上 我最爱的店买来的呢 Yes, this is from my favorite store on 14th street,
店名叫"人造钻石" Rhinestoned.
是我司机发来的短信 Oh, it's just a text from my driver.
他在楼下等了 He's waiting out front.
直接叫奥列格上来不就好了吗 Why don't you just invite Oleg inside?
我还不确定他是否够格进来 I'm not sure yet he deserves to come inside.
据我所知 他不是早够格"进入"了吗 Well, from what I heard, he's already come inside.
麦克斯 我就爱听你说荤段子 Oh, Max, I love it when you're dirty!
怎么样了 Hey, how'd it go?
根据我父亲的律师所说 Well, according to my father's lawyer,
监狱被太多媒体包围 the prison is surrounded by so much press
老爸不想我出来抛头露面 that daddy doesn't want me to come out there
被媒体再度生吞活剥 and be exploited all over again.
为啥就没有其他大新闻了啊 Why is he still the only news story out there?
别气 好歹今天 Well, the good news is,
你的头发超闪闪动人啊 your hair is especially shiny today.
真的吗 谢了 苏菲 It is? Thanks, Sophie.
听完就别想着自杀了哦 So try not to kill yourself.
我在车上读这些信时 都没跑去死 Well, if I didn't kill myself reading these in the car,
现在也不会了 I won't.
怒骂信 Hate mail.
这些全都寄到了我以前的邮箱 It was being held at my old P.O. Box.
我父亲的律师帮我收的信 My father's lawyer picked it up for me.
他何不直接扁你一拳就算了 Why didn't he just punch you in the face and call it a day?
对啊 这跟《34街的奇迹》的结局差不多 I know, it's like the end of Miracle on 34th street,
差别只是 大家都叫我贱货 only everyone's calling me a bitch.
也不是大家都骂你贱货的吧 Oh, come on, not everyone is calling you a bitch.
"贱货你好 我恨你" "Dear bitch, I hate you."
"哪天让我在街上见到你 我一定... "If I ever see you on the street, I will..."
会跟你握手 然后祝福你平安 shake your hand and wish you well,
希望你能雨过天晴" as you have been through so very much.
信上才不是这么写呢 That is not what that says.
也是有可能啊 It might be.
他这血书字迹太潦草 It's hard to read his actual words,
什么内容都有可能啊 as they are written in blood.
好华丽的信封 应该不是怒骂信 Oh, look how fancy. This is not hate mail.
是邀请参加大都会博物馆的年度晚会 No, this is invitation to Metropolitan Museum annual gala.
是吗 It is?
这是我在纽约最爱的社交活动了 This is my favorite social event in all of New York.
18岁那年起 我每年都去了 I've gone every year since I was 18.
这是在美术博物馆里的时尚舞会 It's a fashion ball at the museum of art...
我知道那是干嘛的 Yeah, I know what it is.
-我去年去当过服务生呢 -麦克斯 太巧了吧 - I catered it last year. - Max, how weird.
去年的那会 我们都在那里 We were probably right in the very same room.
那我很可能有往你饮料吐过口水哦 Then there's a good chance I spit in your drink.
也不见得 除非你当时又霸道又烦人 Not really, unless you were acting all prissy and demanding.
那还真有可能给饮料吐过口水 There's a good chance you spit in my drink.
你们看 还是有好消息的 Well, see? This is happy news.
我是想去啊 可我去不了 No, as much as I want to, I can't go.
大家都恨我 Everybody hates me.
更惨的是 我没礼服穿 And much worse, I have nothing to wear,
要当过街老鼠 也要当最美的老鼠 and if you're gonna be hated, you better look damn good.
我放弃 这邀请函是最后一根稻草 I give up. That invitation finally broke me.
你干嘛把床拉下来啊 Why are you pulling down your bed?
因为我没有房门可以让我甩 Because I don't have a door to slam.
我连门都没有 Hell, I don't even have a door!
什么东西都没了 麦克斯 Everything's been taken away, Max...
亿万家产 工作 My fortune, my business career,
亲朋好友 跟我最爱的小马 my social life, my sweet, sweet horse.
你还是去睡吧 你心情不好 Okay, take a nap. You're upset.
你有心情不好的理由 You have a good reason to be.
理由 A good reason?
她有足足2 300个理由吧 I say she has 200, 300 good reasons.
你也来读读 I mean, read these.
这些简直是死亡催命符 These are like letters to the devil.
我要上床 从此长赖不起 I'm just going to get in there and never get out.
麦克斯 把我合上去 夹进墙吧 Close it up, Max. Put me in the wall.
没办法 你躺在上面时合不上去 No, it's really hard to close it when you're in there.
我早试过了 I've tried.
我知道现在跟你以前相比 Look, I know it's not even remotely close
有着天壤之别 to what you had before,
可我们还有小蛋糕生意啊 but we do have our cupcake business
还有紫色烤箱 还有922块的开店基金 and our purple stove, and we do have $922.
而且我们会功成名就的嘛 And we're gonna make it.
夹爆我吧 Wall me.
你不就需要一个大派对让你崭露头角嘛 Come on, all you need is a big, glamorous party.
你看邀请名单上的名流 I mean, look at all the celebrities that are on the list
玛莎·斯图尔特 Martha Stewart,
贾斯丁·汀布莱克 Justin Timberlake...
休·杰克曼 Ooh, Hugh Jackman!
我都喜欢叫他巨根·杰克曼 Oh, I like to call him "Huge" Jackman,
因为我猜他一定有"巨根" because I bet he has a big penis.
夹爆我吧 Wall me.
谢谢啦 Thank you, sir.
欢迎回家啊 栗宝 Welcome home, buddy.
如你所见到的 我们还没弄好泳池 As you can see, we haven't put the pool in yet.
会弄的 We'll get to it.
树 烤炉 铲子 你的老朋友们都在 Tree, grill, shovel... usual cast of characters.
我现在就带你去见她吧 Now, I am going to take you in to her,
不过我先警告你 but I should warn you.
她两天没下床了 She hasn't been out of bed for two days,
她那两天没刷过牙的嘴 口气很惊人的 and that means no tooth brushing and it's bad up in there.
我猜你们马的嗅觉应该很好 I'm pretty sure horses have a keen sense of smell,
所以你小心点吧 so just be prepared.
我也很想你啊 栗宝 I missed you, too.
麦克斯 我在睡觉呢 脱鞋好吗 Max, I'm trying to sleep. Take your boots off.
卡洛琳 我有东西要给你看哦 Caroline, I have something for you.
此人已死 有事烧纸 Go away. I'm dead.
天啊 你以前还嫌我嘴臭 Jeez, and you said my breath was bad.
你有个访客哦 你很爱他呢 You have a visitor, someone you love.
栗宝 栗宝 宝贝你来啦 Chestnut! Chestnut, hi, baby, hi.
他怎么来的 How did he get here?
我去找了琵琪 跟她说 I went to Peach and told her
人命关天 it was a matter of life and death
不得不把栗宝带回来 and we had to have him back.
她就这么让你把他带走啊 And what, she just gave him back to you?
我还得同意我这一生每周都得去 Well, I did have to agree to come back and babysit
照看她的小孩一天 one day a week for the rest of my life,
随便啦 反正栗宝回来啦 but hell, Chestnut's home.
麦克斯 谢谢你 你让我重获新生 Max, thank you so much. You brought me back to life.
求你了 别对我吐气好吗 Oh, my God, don't exhale on me.
你的口气跟吃过大便似地 Your breath is like you went down on a brussels sprout.
把你的头转走 Tip your head that way.
栗宝 栗宝 Chestnut, Chestnut.
也别对他吐气好吗 Don't breathe on him either!
他的鼻子占了头大半 你想熏死他啊 His whole head is a nose. He can't handle that.
栗宝回家啦 Chestnut's home.
阿憨 我好开心啊 Han, I'm so excited.
听说我栗宝回家的事了吗 Did you hear my horse is back?
你这不是找我聊天 This is not conversation.
你只是在对我宣布事情 This is just the other thing you say.
"我的小蛋糕生意 我的马 "My cupcake business, my horse,
我的马 我的小蛋糕生意" my horse, my cupcake business."
给在场的有心人 Well, in case anyone's interested,
我的雪貂名字叫艾文 my ferret's name is Alvin.
艾文也告诉他的朋友 And Alvin's telling his friends
他有只宠物叫阿憨 he has a pet named han.
厄尔 好久不见啊 Hey, Earl. Long time, no see.
哎哟 是强尼啊 Well, well, well, Johnny.
传说中的那位街头画家 If it isn't the famous street artist.
也没到传说中啦 Well, I'm hardly famous.
没错 You got that right.
我单纯是想讽刺你 My remark was laced with sarcasm.
能告诉麦克斯我来了吗 Can you tell Max I'm here?
那得看了 你还在踏两船吗 That depends. Are you still a two-timing bum?
他就叫踏两船 That's his name,
别多叫 叫多了不好 don't wear it out.
好久不见啊 小猛女 Hiya, slugger.
能帮我让厄尔消停消停吗 Can you do me a favor and call Earl off?
虽然我也勤于锻炼 I may be on day six of my p90x,
但我是打不过他这种强大选手的 but I'm in no shape to take on a heavyweight like him.
没事了 厄尔 It's okay, Earl, we're cool.
他在姐身后吃尘呢 Well, I am. He's just riding my fumes.
你管哪区呢 So, uh, where's your section?
-吧台 -老样子啊 老样子 - Counter. - Hm, same ol', same ol'.
强尼来餐厅了 Johnny's in the diner.
他来干嘛啊 肯定不是来吃东西 Why is he here? It can't be to eat.
人家成功了 只吃成功人士的食物 He's "made it." He eats "made it food" now.
他明显是来找你的 Well, obviously, he's here to see you.
不然就是他赢了"纽约最佳爱情骗子奖" Or else he won the award for biggest lying jerk in New York,
餐厅是他巡回的第一站 and this is the first stop on his press tour.
我不知道他来干嘛 Well, I don't know why he's here,
不过你还是陪我一起去面对吧 but you better come with me.
他帅气逼人 我完全没听进 He looks really good, so I'm not listening
他帅唇吐出的任何一句话 to a thing coming out of his pretty mouth.
本来想问你今天有什么特餐 Well, I was gonna ask what the specials were,
不过还是算了 我能就点一个 but you know what? Can I actually just get
麦克斯自制小蛋糕吗 one of Max's homemade cupcakes?
-行啊 什么口味 -给我个惊喜 - Okay, which flavor? - Surprise me.
跟你有女朋友一样让麦克斯"惊喜"吗 Kind of like how you surprised her with your girlfriend?
好吧 我知道你们的意思了 Okay, I'm starting to get a vibe here,
我也是为了这事而来 我心有愧疚 and that's why I came in, because I feel bad,
来为我们的不欢而散 the way things went down between us,
画下句点 和你道别 and I came to say good-bye
我很快就要搬走了 because I'm moving.
搬走 搬去哪里啊 Oh, moving. To where?
-曼哈顿 -曼哈顿啊 - Manhattan. - Manhattan?
搬去那里还道个什么别啊 That hardly calls for a good-bye speech.
都没多远 It's over there.
但搬过去就是两个世界了 Yeah, I know, but it's a big change for me,
我们将不再是 and we're not going to be rolling
一个圈子的人 in the same circles anymore,
我也要去结婚了 and I'm getting married... over there.
起码你跟你那女朋友修成正果了 Well, at least you and your girlfriend worked it out.
其实我们分手了 Actually, we broke up.
我是要跟几个月前认识的另一个女人结婚 This is someone I met a couple months ago.
我刚只读他的唇了 I was only watching his lips,
但他刚才说的话我没看错吧 but did they just say what I think they said?
给 你要的小蛋糕 5块钱 Well, there's your cupcake. That'll be $5.
没错 涨价了 我们现在也是成功人士了 The price has gone up. Yeah, we're successful now.
我们可能要跟家政女皇合作了呢 In fact, we may be working with Martha Stewart.
卡洛琳以前跟她有些关系 Caroline knows her from, you know, before.
我们会再跟她谈 We're gonna talk it over with her
我们有被邀请去博物馆的年度晚会 at the met gala ball that Caroline got invited to.
玛莎是委员会的人 而卡洛琳也年年出席 Martha's on the committee. Caroline goes every year.
小事一桩啦 Not a big deal.
虽然我是第一次 不过也没啥啦 My first time. Not a big deal either.
说实在的 全都没什么嘛 In fact, none of it's a big deal,
不过就是两个功成名就的姑娘 just two girls who are making it
因为个性帅气所以留在布鲁克林奋斗嘛 but who choose to stay in Brooklyn 'cause we're cool.
恭喜你啊 麦克斯 真心恭喜 That's awesome, Max. That's awesome.
你知道吗 每当我想起你时 It's just funny, because whenever I think of you,
总是浮现你在这餐厅穿着制服的画面 I think of you in this diner in that uniform.
不是贬低你哦 In a good way.
你要收钱吗 You want money now?
是啊 在商言商 Yeah. It's business.
我们又没有在一起还什么的 It's not like we had a relationship or anything.
其实你还是付给卡洛琳吧 In fact, you can pay Caroline.
她管账 我管创作 She's the money. I'm the artist.
我的创作生涯最近也挺一帆风顺呢 You know, I'm doing pretty well as an artist myself.
卖了不少我的作品 I've been selling a lot of my stuff.
是吗 没听说过 Really? We hadn't heard.
你点的小蛋糕 And there's your cupcake.
放在"外带"盒子里了 懂意思吧 In case you didn't notice, that container's to go.
懂了 Got it.
他走了 我把他撵走了 He's gone. I got rid of him.
麦克斯 Max?
你在干嘛呢 What are you doing?
捶起司蛋糕 Punching cheesecakes.
你不爽就睡两天 我不爽就捶两个 It's my version of going to bed for two days.
你比较气婚事还是气制服的事啊 Are you more upset about the marriage thing or the uniform thing?
跟他无关 我就气这些起司蛋糕 Oh, this isn't about Johnny. I'm mad at the cheesecakes.
不是应该有樱桃在上面的吗 They were supposed to have cherries on top,
我要樱桃啊 and I wanted cherries!
为什么不是我 Why not me?
好吧 一半是气樱桃 一半气强尼 Okay, maybe it's half no cherries, half Johnny.
我们从没一帆风顺过 Nothing ever does work out for us.
然后听到自己瞎扯的那些 And then I hear myself saying all that ridiculous stuff
跟家政女皇合作的事情 about us talking to Martha Stewart at the gala.
那简直就是痴人说梦嘛 I mean, what was that? It's insane.
是吗 Is it?
说真的 真是痴人说梦吗 Wait, seriously, is it?
还是那其实是大智若愚呢 Or is it just insane enough to be genius?
麦克斯 我们有邀请函 她又会在场 Max, we have the invitation. She'll be there.
我们干嘛浪费时间找保罗啊 Why are we wasting our time with Paul Platt
玛莎才是真正的风云人物 when we can meet the real thing?
带我们最好吃的小蛋糕给玛莎 We can take Martha our best cupcake,
解释我们的情况 explain our situation,
说不定她会愿意给我们个机会 and maybe... maybe she'll talk to us.
她也是一步一步爬上来的嘛 I mean, she was a girl with a dream once, too,
想必她能了解谷底奋战的心情 and she certainly understands hard times.
是要我们去跟踪玛莎·斯图尔特吗 You are talking about us stalking Martha Stewart.
没错 就是这样 I am talking about us stalking Martha Stewart!
我还有个小蛋糕造型的名牌包包 I even have my gorgeous Judith leiber jeweled cupcake purse
来偷带小蛋糕进去 简直是天造地设啊 to smuggle the cupcake in. It's perfect.
把那个包偷出来果然是冥冥中的安排啊 I knew there was a reason I took that from the townhouse.
太好了 我们有蛋糕跟蛋糕包 Great, you have a cupcake and a cupcake purse.
那我们该穿什么去舞会呢 灰姑娘 What else are we gonna wear to the ball, Cinderella?
难道防火巷里的老鼠会帮我们织礼服吗 Are the rats in the alley gonna whip us up some ball gowns?
我们又没有个神仙教母 I mean, it's not exactly like we have a fairy godmother.
女孩们 Hey, look, girls!
我在我最爱的店里买了皇冠跟魔棒呢 I got myself a crown and a wand at Rhinestoned.
把汤送来我的卡座吧 I'll have the soup in my booth.
反正这估计是我们这辈子 Well, this is as close to a fairytale
最接近美梦成真的时刻了 那就做吧 as you and I are ever gonna get, so what the hell?
麦克斯 你同意要想办法 Max, does that mean we're gonna find
混进舞会了吗 a way to go to the ball?
是啊 备妥小蛋糕吧 Oh, yeah. Get your cupcake on,
要开始"混入舞会大作战"啦 'cause we're gonna get balled.
苏菲 感谢你慷慨解囊 Sophie, this is so generous of you
愿意帮我们买晚宴穿的裙子 to offer to buy us dresses for the gala,
不过尽管我的鞋子很开心 but as much as my shoes love being back
-回到故乡... -哇 你的鞋子是在这买的呀 - in their place of birth... - Oh, your shoes were born here?
我的是中国货 在鞋美价廉网上淘的 Mine were born in China, but I adopted them at Payless.
或许我们应该去寄卖店 Maybe we should find something cheaper,
淘两件便宜货 at one of those consignment stores.
"寄卖店" "Consignment stores"?
拜托 你当我们是游牧民族啊 Come on, what are we, gypsies?
这是个华丽的盛会 我们就得盛装打扮 This is big fancy ball. We need ball gowns.
我从来不喜欢参加舞会 Never really been a fan of balls.
老实说 我一直很讨厌舞会 In fact, always thought they got in the way,
可我们始终是来了 but here we are.
如果我们要带着小蛋糕 Well, we do have to look amazing
接近玛莎·斯图尔特 就必须得打扮得美美的 if we're approaching Martha Stewart with a cupcake,
钱我们会想办法还你的 so we'll find a way to pay you back
不然先从免费帮你打扫房子开始好了 and start by doing some cleaning jobs for you for free.
不用 No!
我每年都捐钱给慈善机构 Every year I give money to charity,
而且相比那些孩子阴暗的假笑 and I like you two girls way more than the babies
我更喜欢你们俩姑娘 with the broken smiles.
所以别担心 姐可是带足了钱 So don't worry. I got plenty of cash.
哇 一捆百元大钞 Aww, a roll of hundreds.
我以前圣诞袜也用这个填充 Reminds me of my Christmas stocking stuffers.
今天是有趣的一天 Yeah, this is fun day.
我就像理查·基尔 而你们俩是我的风月佳人 I'm like Richard Gere and you're my two hookers.
理查·基尔 美国著名男演员 在《风月俏佳人》中扮演爱上妓女的钻石王老五
听你这么一说 Well, when you put it like that,
我心里舒服多了 I'm a little more comfortable.
下午好 有什么需要帮忙的吗 Good afternoon. How can I help you?
你好 我们赶时间 Hi, how are you? We don't have a lot of time.
下午6点就得上班 We have to be at work by 6:00.
麻烦把店里最好的春款晚礼服拿出来 Can you show us your best formal spring couture?
或许你们去普通成衣店 Perhaps you ladies might be more comfortable
比较合适吧 down in ready-to-wear.
都说了我们赶时间 As I said, we're in a bit of a rush.
如果你能摆低姿态 快点把衣服拿出来 We might move a little quicker if you dropped the attitude
我们就能快点甩钱走人 and picked up some dresses.
把你那捆大钞露出来 Show her your wad.
很高兴为你们服务 Let's look at some dresses.
对了 要像电影那样 Yeah, and get us some champagne,
给我们上点香槟哦 like in the movies.
一 二 One, two...
阿憨 你刚是踮起脚尖 好让自己像个大孩子吗 Han, did you just go up on your tiptoes like a big boy?
我以为没机会跟你们合照 Well, I wasn't expecting a photo opportunity.
所以我把汤姆·克鲁斯爱穿的增高鞋扔家里了 And I left my Tom Cruise man-heels at home.
麦克斯 放过他吧 Max, give him a break.
这男人矮的都当不上马师 This is a man who was too short to be a jockey.
奥列格 给我相机 Oleg, give me your camera.
我得审核照片 I must approve picture.
我们都拍了三次了 We've taken it three times already.
阿憨 如果你想要奶子走光照 就直说 Han, if you want a nip slip, just ask.
我的衣服这么漂亮 不适合参与这种话题 My dress is too pretty for this conversation,
所以我还是去冰箱把蛋糕拿出来吧 so I'm gonna go get the cupcake from the refrigerator.
那我先为姑娘们热一下我的加长新轿车 And I'm going to warm up my new town car for the ladies.
新车 New?
如果现在是2002年 那就是新车 What is this, 2002?
我倒希望 I hope so,
这样我就有机会重新认识你一次 then I will have chance to meet you for first time all over again.
这可不是专职司机该讲的话 Now this is not professional driver talk.
舞会仙女婆婆 你这是闹哪样 Hey, fancy ball Buster, what's your deal?
是你告诉他要有梦想和豪车 You told him to get a dream and a drive,
现在他做到了 and he did.
麦克斯 我有两个痛处 Max, I have two sore spots.
一个是相信男人 Trusting men and...
另一个是这里 那个牙买加疯子 And here, where that crazy Jamaican
把我的头发接得太紧了 wove my extensions too tight.
我在想等下车之后 I'm thinking I should wait to put the cupcake
我再把小蛋糕放进小蛋糕包里 in the cupcake purse till we get out of the car.
我要用混酒面粉加枫蜜培根小蛋糕 We want our beer batter maple bacon cupcake
作为我们小蛋糕业务的招牌 to represent our cupcake business.
她又刷新记录了 We have a new record.
一口气居然说了四次小蛋糕 She cupcake four times in one speech.
我们该走了 We should go.
这个点从布鲁克林去上东区该堵死了 Upper East Side from Brooklyn at this time of day is crazy.
可我们来这是为了让厄尔看看 But we came in here to show Earl.
可能厄尔觉得今晚休息 Maybe Earl decided not to come
就不过来了吧 since he had the night off.
麦克斯 我们必须在一开始就到场 Max, we really should be there at the start.
那是偷偷接近玛莎·斯图尔特的最佳时机 That's prime Martha Stewart stalking time.
你说得对 玛莎很可能 You're right. And Martha will probably
会需要提早离场 回家干活 have to leave early to get up to bake;
我熟知的那种"干活" A little something I knows about.
我和玛莎唯一的区别是 The only difference between Martha and I
她无需担心会吵醒 is she probably doesn't have to worry about
睡在烤箱四英尺之外的室友 waking up her roommate who lives four feet from the oven.
除此之外 如出一辙 But otherwise, twinsies!
等等 等等 Hold up, hold up, hold up.
厄尔 慢点 你有心脏病 Earl, slow down, your heart.
抱歉来晚了 女士们 Sorry I'm late, ladies.
我再跑快一点 警察会以为我是在逃嫌犯呢 But if I run any faster, the cops tend to pull guns on me.
在花店耽搁了一会儿 Got held up at the florist shop,
还好及时赶到 给 女士们 but I made it. Here you go, ladies.
厄尔 你还专门给我们买花啊 Aww, Earl, you got us flowers?
腕花 Wrist corsages.
希望现在还流行这个 I hope they're still in style.
经典永垂不朽 厄尔 They're a classic, Earl.
跟你一样 Like you.
这趟跑得值了 Mmm, that was worth the run.
走吧 女士们 Let's go, ladies.
奥列格等着载你们驶向目的地 Oleg is waiting to drive you.
而你 载我驶向墓地 And you drive me crazy.
是呀是呀 这话跟海军陆战队说去 Yeah, yeah. Tell it to the marines.
给 厄尔 帮我拿着手机 Here, Earl, take my phone.
装了蛋糕 我的手包就装不下手机了 I can't fit it in the purse with my cupcake.
祝你玩得愉快 Have the best time in the world.
代我向"巨根"杰克曼问好 And say hello to "Huge" Jackman for me.
这可不是好兆头 That is not a good sign.
这车喷出来的烟比 That car is smoking harder than
鲍勃·马利牙买加著名雷鬼英雄 他笃信视大麻为圣餐的斯塔法教
鲍勃·马利在斯塔法教日喷得还狠 Bob Marley on a rasta holiday.
苏菲 如果我的表弟有利说 Sophie, if my cousin Yuri said he would be here
他会在半小时内带着工具来修车 in half hour with parts to fix,
他就一定会在半小时内到 he will be here in half hour.
话说这都过了40分钟了吧 Actually, it's been 40 minutes.
你的表弟就跟你一样 Your cousin is like you.
死活不来[射] He takes too long to come.
真新鲜 Oh, this is news.
女人突然开始喜欢男人早早完事了 Suddenly a woman wants a man to finish fast.
拜托 Oh, please.
做爱又不是邮轮可以慢慢开 Sex is not a carnival cruise.
我很忙的 I'm a busy woman.
前脚上船 后脚下船 You get on, you get off.
我能来一口吗 Can I get a hit off that?
我猜就只能干等了 We'll just have to wait, I guess.
如果我还住在曼哈顿 我可以打个车 I mean, if I still lived in Manhattan, I'd hail a cab.
但我们是在荒郊野岭 所以求助无门 But that's not gonna happen out here in the boondocks!
再说了 即使打得起车 Plus, even if we could afford a cab,
我们也会被困在高峰时期无尽的堵车中 we'd be stuck forever in rush hour gridlock.
你能小点声吗 Could you take it down a notch?
嬉皮士们都看过来了 Hipsters are starting to look at us
好像我们入戏太深似的 like we're trying too hard.
阿憨去哪里了 Where did Han go?
他说他可能有办法 He said he might have a plan.
万能的主呀 Oh, my lord and Taylor!
那小玩意儿居然会骑 That little mother can ride.
你们俩就像童话里的两位公主 You two look like two princesses in a fairy tale.
你怕不怕 Are you feeling safe?
如果我们骑的是 I couldn't feel any safer
塑胶小马 我就不怕 if we were riding a rubber into town.
那我们走啦 再见 各位 Here we go. Bye, guys.
-再见 -走把 栗宝 - Bye. - Go, Chestnut!
快看 你也看见了吧 Oh, check it out. You see what I see?
你好 警官大人 Hello, officers.
我们在去舞会的路上 We're on way to the ball down the street,
我们想问能不能请你们 and we were wondering if we could please leave
帮我看一下马 our horse with your horses?
你们也不必浪费时间 And I can save you the time
做酒精浓度测试 on the breathalyzer test;
我们没喝醉 No, we are not drunk
也没在玩未婚女子派对的寻宝游戏 or on some bachelorette party scavenger hunt.
我们的车在布鲁克林坏了 Our car broke down in Brooklyn,
我们是从布鲁克林大桥骑过来的 so we rode over the Brooklyn bridge and up.
你骑着马在布鲁克林大桥上跑啊 You rode a horse across the Brooklyn bridge?
真是酷毙了 That's badass.
没错 同时也违法了 Yes... And illegal.
其实我们走的是隧道 In that case, we took the tunnel.
没问题 我们可以帮忙 Well, I think we can help you two ladies.
不可能 戴夫 我们在值班呢 Not gonna happen, Dave. We're on duty.
警官大人 我们已经迟到了 Officers, we're already a little late.
恕我直言 我们真没时间 And with all due respect, we don't have time
玩好警察坏警察的游戏 to play good cop, bad cop.
不过你们俩是 帅警察超帅警察 Or in your cases, hot cop, hot cop.
没问题 我们可以帮忙 Well, I think we can help you ladies.
先扶你们俩下来吧 Let's get you down off of there.
裙子低胸那个我来扶 I got the one in the low-cut.
谢谢帅警官和超帅警官 Thanks officer hot and officer hotter.
你知道超帅警官说的是我吧 You know I'm officer hotter, right?
拜托 你见过哥戴墨镜的帅样吗 Oh, come on, man. Have you seen me in my sunglasses?
赢你几条街 No contest.
麦克斯 你穿着长裙 Max, I'm really impressed with how well
还能活动自如 真让我意外 you're maneuvering around in that long skirt.
我在中世纪餐馆工作时穿过女仆装 Yeah, I was a serving wench at a medieval times restaurant.
不用端着装满 It's a breeze when I'm not carrying
火鸡腿和啤酒的盘子 更让我身轻如燕 a tray loaded with Turkey legs and ale.
预定零售台在那里 There's the "will call" Table.
你走前面 我躲在你后面 Walk in front and I'll hide behind you,
因为我是全纽约最遭人恨的女人 as I'm the most hated woman in New York.
所以我是来当人肉盾牌的吗 So basically, I'm a human shield?
你上面比较"有料" 能抵挡一切 Well, you have more up here to stop anything.
-麦克斯 -怎么了 - Max! - What?
有人掏枪吗 Did someone pull a gun?
我就知道会有状况发生 I knew that was gonna happen.
不是 我尖叫是因为我看见 No, I screamed because I saw the couple
那对让我爸锒铛入狱的夫妇 whose sworn statement put my father in prison.
麦克斯 Max!
有人用硫酸泼你的小脸吗 Acid in your pretty face?
抱歉 我熬夜翻你的仇恨信 Sorry, I stayed up all night reading
看看人们想怎么把你千刀万剐 what people want to do to you in your hate mail.
又怎么了 What was it?
我蹲地太快 可能会弄脏我的小蛋糕 I went down so fast, I may have smeared my cupcake.
这是我听过最黄最"纯洁"的事了 That's the filthiest sounding clean thing I ever heard.
还好没事 It's fine. Good.
现在去拿两个会破坏我们华服整体美感的 Now let's go get those cheap plastic security bracelets
廉价塑料安检手环 that ruin our expensive gowns.
-能告诉我你的名字吗 -卡洛琳 - Can I get your name? - Caroline...
钱宁 Channing.
抱歉 没听见 I'm sorry, what?
卡洛琳 Caroline...
钱宁 Channing.
你搞什么 快说名字 What's with you? Just say your name.
钱宁 Channing.
你刚是说钱宁吗 卡洛琳·钱宁 Did you say channing? Caroline channing?
慢着 你是那个卡洛琳·钱宁吗 Wait, are you that Caroline channing?
对 我亲自打过电话问过主办方 Shh, yes, and I personally called the R.S.V.P. Number.
肯定有我的名字 It has to be there.
钱宁 钱宁 钱宁 Channing, channing, channing...
没 我没看见有"卡洛琳·钱宁" No, I don't see "Caroline channing."
或许在我的名字下 Maybe it's under my name.
麦克斯·布莱克 我们是一起的 Max black. I'm with her.
布莱克 没没没 我没看见任何叫布莱克[黑人]的 Black... no, no, no, I don't see any blacks here.
你是说除了在场的黑人保安吗 You mean besides the ones working security?
我问下派对策划人保罗·普拉特吧 Let me check with Paul Platt, the party planner.
他的助手正在跟他通电话呢 He's on the phone with him right now.
-布洛迪 -不是吧 - Hey, Brody. - Oh, no.
名单有点问题 There's a problem with the list.
她不在名单上 就是她 She's not on it. Her.
卡洛琳·钱宁 Caroline channing.
保罗 卡洛琳·钱宁来了 Paul, I've got Caroline channing,
可她不在名单上 and she's not on the list.
后面派对的各位麻烦等等 If everybody in this line could just wait until
我们要处理下卡洛琳·钱宁突发状况 we get the Caroline channing situation under control...
如果你敢在大声喊一次"卡洛琳·钱宁" If you say "Channing" One more time,
老娘就把你的音箱[喉头]给扯出来 I'm going to actually pull your voice box out.
做起来比听起来要暴力一百倍哦 And its s so much more violent than it sounds.
好的 保罗 我会转告他们 Yes, Paul, I'll tell them.
出现了点小状况 There's been a little mix-up.
五分钟后就放你们进去 Five more minutes will get you right in.
你们进不去 You're not getting in.
就这样吧 至少我们试了 Well, that's it. We tried.
-我们尽力了 -不要 - We gave it our best shot. - Oh, no.
这是我这辈子 This is the closest I have ever gotten
最接近成功的一次 to anything in my life almost working out.
-我们不能放弃 -那我们怎么进去 - We are not giving up. - How are we getting in?
-这全是保安 -不从这儿走 - Security's everywhere. - Yeah, out here,
但不是从服务员入口处 but not at the servers' entrance.
我去年不是来过吗 I catered this last year.
没错 我们要走后门啦 That's right, we're going backdoor.
那女的打了我一拳 That lady just punched me.
我就知道会有状况发生 I knew that was gonna happen!
你就这么大摇大摆地走进来啊 So you can just walk in here?
这里谁都可以随便进的吗 Anyone can just walk right in?
去年我是靠跟里克 Well, it helps that last year
那个帐篷保安亲热 才进来的 I made out with the tent flap guard, Rico,
但基本上谁都能进 but basically, yeah, anyone.
当我回想起过去 When I think of all the times
我把钱包仍在桌子上跑掉时 I left my purse on a table here unattended,
我的心在颤抖啊 颤抖 I shudder... Shudder.
好啦 我们不装成服务员 Okay, so we can't get in the actual building
进不去主楼 without being caterers,
所以我们得换上制服 so we have to change into those uniforms.
慢着 Wait.
你刚可没有跟我说 You never mentioned anything about
需要把礼服换掉哦 a rent-a-clothes situation.
想进去总得付出点代价嘛 Small price to pay for us making it.
是吗 这真的是小小的代价吗 Is it? Is it a small price to pay?
快点 我们得跟踪大明星呢 Hurry, we have a superstar to stalk!
我原以为我会很抗拒 但我现在蛮喜欢的 I thought I would hate it, but I'm kind of into it.
我超像加奈儿·梦奈的 I'm very Janelle Monae.
加奈儿·梦奈 美国另类女歌手
不 你是加奈儿·恶梦吧 No, you're Janelle I-have-no-Monae.
那我们的礼服怎么办 What are we going to do with our dresses?
不能把它们留在这里 我进里面还要穿呢 We can't leave them out here. I need them inside.
我必须美美的见玛莎·斯图尔特 I have to look amazing when I meet Martha Stewart.
我们穿什么去见她很重要吗 What does it matter what we're wearing?
反正我们是两个拿着小蛋糕 We're still going to be the two crazy girls
四处找她的疯婆子 chasing her down with a cupcake.
所以衣着就更重要啦 That's why it matters.
我知道了 这里 I know. Here.
帮我把架子拿出来 Help me get the shelves out of this.
我们可以把礼服挂里面 We can hang our dresses in here
-然后把它们推进去 -真聪明 - and push them in. - Brilliant.
这柜子有点像我以前的LV旅行衣柜 Kind of like the Louis Vuitton travel wardrobe I used to have.
或者像我妈生我时的那个电梯 Or the service elevator I was born in.
借过 滚汤热菜 Coming through, hot food.
小心 热气腾腾 天啊 热死了 Look out, very hot! Man, it's hot.
你是个服务员 不是气象员 You're a waiter, not a weatherman.
美女 Hey, pretty girls,
我喜欢你鼓捣大铁箱的方式 I like the way you push around that big steel box
你何不过来 让我打一炮 why don't you come over here and I'll have sex with you?
这样赤裸裸的言语 真让人感激 A display like that really makes you appreciate
奥列格恰如其分的调戏 Oleg's nuanced wit.
好吧 我们直接去女厕所换衣服吧 Okay, let's go right to the ladies room so we can change.
是走这边 还是那边 Is it that way or that way?
怎么了 What?
强尼也在 Shh, Johnny!
怎么会邀请他 How'd he get invited?
这过去可是私人聚会 This used to be an exclusive event.
他现在是"功成名就" He's "Made it,"
他当然去"功成名就"的人该去的地方 he goes where "Made it" People go.
你干嘛躲着那个混蛋啊 Why are we hiding from that lowlife?
如果他看见我穿着另一身服务生制服 If he sees me in another waiter uniform,
我永远都是穿制服的可怜姑娘 I'm the sad girl always in the uniform.
如果他在舞会上看见我穿着礼服出现 If he sees me in that dress at the ball,
那他可以回家擦眼泪了 he can suck it.
女厕所 在那边 Ladies room, that way.
女厕所就在这里 The ladies room is right down here.
用力推 Push harder.
用力啊 你难道想穿成这样见玛莎吗 Harder! Do you want Martha to see you dressed like that?
-闪开 借过 -让一下 - Move! Coming through! - Excuse us.
食物紧急情况 Food emergency.
我的手指 手指 手指 手指 Fingers, fingers, fingers, fingers.
借过 借过 Coming through, coming through.
-让一下 -看着点 红姑娘 - Excuse us. - Look alive, red!
-我差点撞到你了 -等等 - I almost hit you. - Hold up.
你俩等等 这是怎么回事 Now just hold up. What is going on right now?
你不能带食物进这儿 You can't bring food in here.
这不是食物 谁会带食物进来呀 Oh, it's not food. That would be weird.
这是礼服 我们得换上它 It's dresses. We have to change into these,
因为她要让一个男人刮目相看 'cause she has this guy she wants to impress,
而我要换是因为 and I have to change into it
我要跟踪玛莎·斯图尔特 because I'm stalking Martha Stewart.
啊哦 我一定是个烂间谍 Ooh, I'd be a terrible spy.
通常在一晚结束后 Usually I don't get the long stories
才有人跟我讲故事 till the end of the night,
那时 姑娘们会哭着 and by then, the girls are crying
求我给她们长长脑子 缩缩奶子 and begging me for Wisdom and tic tacs.
我先去 I'll go first.
把这"胸器"塞进一条裙子 需要点时间 I have to get two of these in one dress.
女士 请问你有鞋拔子吗 Miss, do you have a shoehorn?
快出来 香奈儿的鞋 Come on, Chanel shoes!
快出来 山寨香奈儿 Come on, Chanel knockoffs.
你怎么还不换衣服 Why are you not dressed yet?
因为女人上厕所慢死了 'Cause ladies take forever.
都怪那些塑身裤 It's all the spanx.
去 用我那间 我要伸个头出去 Well, go, use my stall. I want to go stick my head out,
看看能不能发现强尼 and see if I can scope out Johnny.
不 女士 不 这不公平 No, ma'am, no! Not fair, ma'am.
试试残疾人厕所 这边 Try the handicapper. This side.
好主意 Good idea.
我今晚真是霉运不断 I cannot get a break tonight.
-麦克斯 -强尼 - Psst, yo, Max. - Johnny!
你在找谁 Who are you looking for?
达美乐披萨仔 The Dominos guy.
我躲在里面是因为再过五分钟 I was hiding in there, 'cause five more minutes,
披萨花太长时间送到手 顾客可以免费吃
披萨就能免费吃 the pizza's free.
我还期待能遇见你呢 I was hoping I'd run into you.
也没什么好见的 Eh, no big deal.
当然不是 你看起美呆了 Pretty big deal. You look amazing.
美得我蛋疼菊紧 虎躯一震 Amazing. I will go as far as amaze-balls.
多谢夸奖 Thanks.
你看起像广告里那种 You look like a guy in a commercial
藏着戒指和小狗的男人 who has a ring and puppy hidden somewhere.
你能相信吗 Can you believe it?
咱俩身穿锦衣华服 We're both at this shmancy thing.
我们变化真大呀 Look how far we've gotten.
其实当你静心一想 Actually, when you think about it,
你会发现我们都没变 we didn't get very far at all.
对 你说得对 的确没变 Nope, you're right. We didn't.
为什么 Yeah, why?
时机不对吧 Timing, I guess.
时机 Timing?
随你怎么说吧 Okay, whatever.
从现在开始 每当我想起你 You know, from now on, when I think of you,
我会想着你身穿礼服 而不是制服的样子 I'm gonna think of you in this and not the uniform.
从现在开始 You know, from now on,
或许你就不该再想我 maybe you shouldn't think of me at all.
走啦 曼哈顿先生 Gotta go, Mr. Manhattan.
太棒了 卡洛琳 你在哪里 That was awesome! Caroline, where are you?
我快穿好了 I'm almost dressed.
我刚跟强尼来了次完美的当面告别 I just had the perfect in-your-face good-bye with Johnny.
说到"当面" And speaking of "in your face,"
他当着我的面 还直勾勾盯着我的胸 he couldn't take his eyes off my boobs...
谁让他要结婚 Boobs that he can never have,
这对美胸从此跟他告别了 now that he's getting married.
靠 妹子 你真美 你晚点有活动吗 Damn, girl, you look good. What you doing later?
给我你的电话吗 Can I get your number?
天啊 小蛋糕在我的包包有点被砸碎了 Oh, no, the cupcake got a little smushed in my purse.
我们不能拿给玛莎·斯图尔特了 We can't show this to Martha Stewart now.
干嘛不可以 Sure, we can.
你觉得她没被人用蛋糕糊过脸吗 You think she never had a cupcake smush on her?
我觉得没有 I doubt that very much.
玛莎·斯图尔特是个完人 Martha Stewart is perfect.
超凡脱俗 脚不着地 Her feet don't even touch the ground.
可能连厕所都不需要上 The woman probably doesn't even go to the bathroom.
人无完人 Martha Stewart's hardly perfect.
玛莎·斯图尔特本人
今晚过得好吗 And how are you this evening?
你说得对 人无完人 她也不例外 No, you're right, Martha Stewart isn't perfect.
这话我可没说过 Oh, I never said that!
其实我听说她超爱虐男人的 In fact, I hear she's a real ballbuster.
你什么都没听见 You did not hear that.
真的 超爱虐男人 你知道吗 Yep, a real ballbuster, you know?
我什么都不知道 No, I do not know.
能递块毛巾给我吗 Would you mind handing me a towelette please?
一块就行 谢谢 Oh, one's fine. Thank you so much.
但就是因为玛莎·斯图尔特那么强悍 But the fact that Martha Stewart is so tough...
卡洛琳 你得马上出来 Caroline, you need to get out here right now.
那么爱虐男人 The fact that she is a real ballbuster...
神啊 救救我吧 Oh, dear God, help me.
所以我才那么喜欢她和敬重她 Is what I like and respect about her.
那个女人是个天才 I mean, the woman's a genius.
越来越有意思了 Now it's getting interesting.
而且 你不能听信传闻 And besides, you can't really believe gossip.
瞧瞧我收到的仇恨信 Look at all that hate mail I got
多少人骂我贱货啊 with people calling me a bitch,
可其实我不是 and I'm not a bitch.
这有待商议 Well, that's debatable.
-玛莎·斯图尔特 你好 -你好啊 - Martha Stewart, hi. - Hello.
我是卡洛琳 这是我的生意伙伴麦克斯 I'm Caroline, and this is my business partner, Max,
我们的小蛋糕生意刚起步 and we have a start-up cupcake business.
妹子 你不是吧 都这样了你还不放手啊 Dude, are you serious? You're still going for it.
我知道这非常不合时宜 I know this is highly inappropriate,
但我们今晚带了个小蛋糕过来 but we brought a cupcake here tonight
衷心希望你能尝一口 in hopes that you might taste it.
所以你要我在女厕所 So you want me to taste your cupcake
吃你的小蛋糕 in the ladies room.
还有比这更不合时宜的吗 What's inappropriate about that?
我们的生意刚起步 不抓住机会不行啊 We're a start-up business. We've got to take risks.
这位是麦克斯 她是烘培师 This is Max. She's the baker.
-你是烘培师啊 -我是烘培师 - You're the baker. - I'm the baker.
看起来蛮吸引人的 Hm, it looks quite appealing.
天啊 Oh, my God.
我知道这是社交场合 I know this is a social event,
很抱歉把它弄得那么商业化 so I'm so sorry for making it about business.
当你自己出来打拼事业时 When you're in business for yourself,
你必须得把每一个场合 you have to take every situation
都当作是商机 as a business opportunity.
瞧 我还随身带着五本书呢 Look, I have five of these in here.
我超爱看你的家政杂志 I love your magazine.
我阅读上面每一篇文章 I read every single issue
直到我被抓到不是看病 只是去偷看杂志 until they realized I didn't even go to that doctor.
我要说一句 Well, in spite of the fact
尽管你至今还没有洗手 that you have not yet washed your hands...
我刚是在里面换衣服的 I was just changing my dress in there.
-我会尝一口 -真的吗 - I'll taste it. - You will?
我喜欢你的闯劲 I like your entrepreneurial drive.
而且我深深地觉得 And I have a feeling that it's actually
只有尝一口 才能活着离开这儿 the only way I'm gonna get out of here alive.
这是我们的酒混面粉加枫蜜培根的 That is our beer batter maple bacon
特制春假小蛋糕 spring break cupcake.
-名字不错 -谢谢 - Hm, clever name. - Thank you.
不过有点糊了 真可惜 It is a little smushed, though. That's unfortunate.
我都说了 I told you.
蛮好吃的 Mmm. Quiet tasty.
我喜欢 I like it.
你们有名片吗 Do you girls have a card?
拿出来 拿出来 快拿出来 Get it out, get it out, get it out.
非常感谢 Ah, thank you very much.
"麦克斯自制小蛋糕" "Max's homemade cupcakes."
你知道谁会超级喜欢你们的小蛋糕吗 Well, you know who'd really like that cupcake?
瘾君子 Stoners.
她念了"麦克斯自制小蛋糕"这名字 She said "Max's homemade cupcakes."
玛莎·斯图尔特喜欢我们的小蛋糕 Martha Stewart likes our cupcakes!
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