[Announcer] Mysteries in History,
with your host Peter Graves.
Although no one has ever been able to prove their existence,
a quasi-government agency known as the Men In Black...
supposedly carries out secret operations here on Earth...
in order to keep us safe from aliens throughout the galaxies.
Here is one of their stories that "never happened"...
from one of their files...
that doesn't exist.
1978.
Leaders of Zartha flee their planet...
in order to escape the clutches of the evil Kylothian Serleena.
Arriving on Earth, the Zarthans bring with them their greatest treasure...
the Light of Zartha,
a cosmic force so powerful...
that, in the wrong hands, it could lead to the annihilation of Zartha.
The Zarthan's princess, Lauranna,
beseeched the Men In Black to hide the Light from Serleena.
But they had no choice.
Intervention would have meant the destruction of the Earth.
However, in an act of galactic bravery,
the Men In Black subdued Serleena,
allowing the Zarthans to escape...
so they might hide the Light on another planet.
Serleena, released from her captors, [Growling]
vowed that the Light would be hers...
and that she would destroy any planet...
that stood in her way.
And so, never knowing what happened,
the people of Earth were once again saved...
by a secret society of protectors...
known as the Men In Black.
[Man] Harvey! [Dog Continues Barking]
Harvey, get over here!
Harvey! Heel! Heel!
You're barking at the moon, moron.
Harvey. Harvey!
Harvey!
[Barking Continues]
[Squeaking]
[Roars]
[Squeaking, Shrieking]
Hey, pretty lady.
You taste good.
[Man] Hey, what the...
[Creature Roaring] [Man Screaming]
[Woman] Yeah, you too.
[Sloshing, Gurgling]
[Sloshing, Gurgling Continue]
[Growls Softly]
[Vomiting] [Body Splatters On Ground]
Nothing fancy, no heroics. By the book this time. Got it.
- Hey. - Ooh!
Uh, hey, Jeff. What's happening, buddy?
We were just wondering what you were doing here.
The man's talkin' to ya.
You know our arrangements, Jeff.
You don't travel outside of the "E," "F" and "R" subway lines.
In exchange, you get to eat all the inorganic garbage you want.
- What the hell are you doing here, worm boy? - Uh, Tee.
Jeff, uh, excuse my partner. [Groaning]
H-He's new, and he...
[Screaming]
- Kinda stupid. - Whoa!
[Growls] Whoo.
You gettin' big, Jeff. Boy, what you been eatin'?
[Yelling]
Oh, you like jokes, huh?
Jeffrey.
[Yelling]
Hey!
[Grunts] Aah!
All right.
[Exhales] Sweet dreams, big boy.
Aah! Aaah!
Whoo! [Jeff Shrieking]
[Laughing]
Ha-ha!
Sweet...
- [Roars] - [Yelling]
Big boy?
Transit Authority, people. Please move to the forward car.
We got a bug in the electrical system.
Yo! People!
We got a bug in the electrical system!
[All Screaming]
Oh, now you all runnin'. No, no, no, sit down. It's only a 6OO-foot worm.
Everybody out before I start knockin' heads here.
Put the hammer down on this thing.
I'm Capt. Larry Bridgewater, and I decide what happens on this train.
Oh, you decide? Oh. Okay, come here.
Larry? That's my man Jeff.
Larry just made a decision.
Yeah, Larry needs to take his ass in there. Yeah.
[Roaring]
Don't make me do this, Jeff.
[Groans]
[Jay] 81st Street.
Just a second.
May I have your attention, please?
The City of New York would like to thank you for participating in our drill.
Had this been an actual emergency, y'all would've been eaten.
'Cause you don't listen. You're ignorant.
How a man gon' come bashin' through a subway win...
That's the problem with all 'y'all New Yorkers... "Oh, we've seen it all."
"Oh, no, a 6OO-foot worm. Save us, Mr Black Man!"
I ask you nice, move to the next car. Y'all just sit there like...
Thank you for participating in our drill.
Hopefully you enjoyed our new smaller, more energy efficient subway cars.
Watch your step. You all have a nice evening.
I need the perimeter secured and a cleanup crew at 81st and Central Park West.
Revoke Jeff's movement privileges immediately.
Have a transfer team escort him back to the Chamber Street station.
And will somebody please check the expiration date on the Unipod worm tranquilizers?
Sorry, fellas. Station closed.
Emergency drill. For your safety.
Can you believe these putzes?
You're welcome.
[Grunts]
[Sighs]
I know. By the book.
Tee, when was the last time we just looked at the stars?
This is a test. I can do this.
You ever feel like you're alone in the universe?
Yes.
No.
Let me buy you a piece of pie. Really?
Thanks.
Hey, you're not alone in the universe.
Remove the arm. Okay.
Please shut up, Charlie.
I'm tired of you constantly talking behind my back.
You meet a beautiful girl, she's into it, and the best line you can come up with is,
"Wanna come back to my place for some tonsil hockey and egg salad?"
Whoa! W-Who are you, and how'd you get in here?
You like egg salad?
Serleena! [Whimpering]
Why didn't you say... it was you?
[Both Exhale] I got your message.
Where's the Light? Here's the deal.
You been all over the universe looking for this Light thing, and we found it.
You want it? It's gonna cost you 5O mil. Here's how it's gonna work.
- First, you... - Where is... the Light?
[Screaming]
We couldn't find the Light, but we tracked it to a guy who might know where it is.
He runs a pizza parlour on Spring Street.
Let's go.
And wipe your nose, idiot.
Hmm. Oh. Good pie.
Yeah.
Crowded.
Well, they got good pie.
[Sniffling, Sobbing]
Man, what is wrong with you? You're gonna neuralyze me.
- No, I'm not. - Yes, you are.
- You took me to a public place so I wouldn't make a scene. - You makin' a scene.
Look, let me ask you a question:
- Why did you join M. I.B.? - Six years in the Marines.
I like to serve. I like the action. Protect the planet.
You like being a hero? Then you joined the wrong organization.
You ever heard of James Edwards?
No.
Well, he saved the lives of about 85 people on the subway tonight.
No one knows he exists.
And if no one knows he exists, how can anyone ever love him?
[Continues Sobbing Loudly]
Hey, how long we been partners?
Feb 1. Five months, three days.
Started at noon. Nine hours.
Get married, have a bunch of kids.
Okay.
Excuse me, uh, my buddy's kinda shy,
but he thinks you are hot.
[Man] Here it is. Ta-da
[Woman] Ben, I don't know what to say.
When people look at that plaque years from now, you know what they'll say?
"'Employee' is spelled wrong"? They charge by the letter.
People will say, "Imagine that.
A big shot like her used to work here."
Ben... You deserve it.
Bring up a case of Mountain Dew from the basement.
[Meow] Hey, Bruno.
[Serleena] Two slices of pepperoni,
and any information you might have about the Light of Zartha.
Please, whoever you are, don't hurt me.
[Serleena] Where's the Light, Ben? I don't know.
Please let me down, ma'am.
- I want to report a robbery... - [Door Slams]
There?
Noise?
Kitchen! Oh! Oh.
[Serleena] You idiots see anything?
Wind blew the door open.
Nothin' out of the ordinary.
For 25 years I've travelled the universe looking for it.
But it never left Earth, did it, Ben?
You kept it here. What are you talking about?
I'm running out of time.
- Where's the Light of Zartha? - I swear I don't know.
Listen, Zarthan, you hid the Light on Earth, and I will find it.
Once we have the Light, Zartha will be ours.
[Alien Voice] You're too late.
Tomorrow at midnight the Light will leave the third planet...
and be back home.
Sorry you made the trip for nothing.
[Low Growl]
Got nothin' out of him. Now we don't know if it's on Earth or not.
He said "third planet. " It's here, you idiot.
Third Rock from the Sun. I never got that till now.
It's on Earth,
and I know who's gonna tell me where it is.
[Sloshing]
[Thunder Rumbling]
Don't you ever go home?
Nope.
See you neuralyzed another partner.
Bee, Dee, next time you use a fission carbonizer,
put a submolecular de-atomizer on the barrel so it doesn't sound like a cannon.
Yes, sir. Hey, get some booties on them things.
You're crapping up the floor. [Responds In Alien Language]
Check this Prionaesian's visa.
The Cephalopods have been making counterfeits down at Kinko's on Canal.
And will somebody please explain to me...
why I have a dead Tricrainasloph going through Passport Control?
That'd be my fault, sir. I'm very sorry, sir. Please don't neuralyze me, sir.
- What is that supposed to mean? - Nothing, sir.
[Woman On P.A.] The Arcturos shuttle will be four hours late.
Good work in the subway. I remember Jeff when he was yea-high.
What you got for me? Take a look out that window.
See those guys in black suits? They work here too. We got it covered.
Zed, come on, man. What you got?
Dedication's one thing, but if you let it this job will eat you up.
You wanna look like me when you hit 5O...
...ish?
I'll be in the gym if you need me.
All right. There was a killing earlier. 177 Spring.
Alien-on-alien.
Why don't you take Tee with you and make a report?
Um, Tee. Right. [Humming]
Um, what happened... See, what happened to Tee... [Continues Humming]
Passports. No rush. How they hangin', Jay?
You have got to stop neuralyzing M. I.B. personnel.
The dude was crying in the middle of the diner.
[Frank] I hate that.
And plus, you can't count Elle.
She wanted to go back to the morgue. I helped her.
- You need a partner. - I'm cool.
I'll be his partner.
Jay, wait up.
Appreciate the shot, man. Thought I'd never get out of that mail room.
Lose the suit. Sure thing, partner.
No problemo. Just going for the look.
But I do find the overall effect very slimming.
Not that I've had any problems with the ladies. It's just that...
[Frank] Whoa, nice sled. Very swank.
Heated seats? Sometimes I get hives.
And I learned to get along And so you're back
From outer space
I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed that stupid lock
I shoulda made you leave your key
If I'd known for just one second you'd be back to bother me
Go on, now, go Walk out the door...
Frank!
Bring your head in this window...
before I roll it up in there.
Got it.
[Continues, Humming]
Frank!
[Frank] My money, it's missionary.
Anyway, I was in the Bowery and I meet this Great Dane.
A little thick in the body, but very pretty in the face.
Frank, that's just not appealing to me, man. Seriously.
Okay, okay. So I say we do the good cop-bad cop thing.
You interrogate the witness, and I growl. [Growling]
No, wait, how 'bout we do the good cop-dumb dog thing, and you just shut up?
You got it, partner. Total silence.
Absolute quiet. Not a word out of me.
What do we got?
- Zip. - What do we got?
Phosphorus residue on the wall. We've sent samples back to Em for analysis.
Hey, Jay, zero percent body fat.
[Snickering, Laughing]
- Funny. - Witness?
Girl. Saw everything. She's taking it pretty well.
[Laura] No, I don't answer any more of your questions until you answer mine.
What happened here?
I'd better handle this. [Frank] You got it.
Alone. The talking dog thing might be a bit much for her right now.
What do you want me to do?
- Sniff around. - [Agents Laughing]
- What? - Funny.
Try taking a deep breath, ma'am. Everything's going to be all right.
Just what part of this is she supposed to feel all right about?
I'm Agent Jay. Why don't you tell me exactly what you saw.
I saw a two-headed guy and a woman in leather.
Caucasian? Grey, with tentacles coming out of her hands.
And she used them to rip... The skin off of his body.
Actually, it's not skin, it's a protoplasma polymer similar to the chemical make-up...
of the gum you find in baseball cards.
- What was the last thing you ate prior to the incident? - Calzone.
- What time? - Lunch.
- Spinach? - Mushroom.
Hmm.
You need pie.
A light. They just kept asking Ben about a light.
Light of Zartha, something like that.
You okay?
An hour ago, a man I've known my whole life vanished...
because of a woman with things coming out of her fingers...
and a two-headed guy with the IQ of a cannoli.
So, yeah, everything's okay.
Look, when we're kids,
before we're taught how to think or what to believe,
our hearts tell us that there is something else out there.
Now, I know what I saw. You tell me what I'm supposed to believe.
I'm a member of a secret organization...
that polices and monitors alien activity on planet Earth.
Ben was an alien. So were the people that killed him.
Now, I don't know why they did it, but I promise you I'm gonna find out.
Okay.
Okay?
Okay.
Um, uh, I'm sorry. I'm gonna have to...
Kill me. No! No... [Chuckles]
No, just a little flash, and everything goes back to the way it was.
After you... flash me,
if I see you again, will I know it's you?
I'll see you,
but you won't see me.
Must be hard.
Must be very lonely.
[Bicycle Bell Rings]
[Bell Rings]
[Beeping] [Sighs]
[Beeping Continues]
Excuse me.
I gotta go. What about the flashy thing?
I'll flash you some other time.
[Male, Vocalizing]
- Who let the dogs out - [Barking Rhythmically]
Who let the dogs out [Frank Continues Barking Rhythmically]
Who let the dogs out... [Car Remote Chirps]
[Stops] What?
[Chirps]
[Engine Starts]
- You tell the girl you love her? - Hey, man.
She's a witness to a crime. That's it.
Yada-yada. You're attracted. She's not even my species, and I'm attracted.
I'm supposed to take advice on love from a dude that chases his own ass?
Easy, pal. That's canine profiling, and I resent it.
Hey, Jay, wait up.
Comin' through. M. I.B. brass. Look sharp.
I'm Agent Eff now, Agent Jay's new partner. Who are you eyeballin', huh?
Frank. Just cool out, dawg.
- [Chuckles] - Got kids?
- No. - Want 'em? [Growling]
[Agent Yelling] [Frank Growling, Barking]
[Agent] Get him off me!
Talk to me. It's Kylothian.
Class "C." Serleena.
[Jay] Serleena? Old girlfriend? She wishes.
The witness said the perps were looking for the Light of...
Zartha. Yeah. What is it?
This makes no sense. The Light's not on Earth.
- We took care of this a long time ago. - Well, obviously not.
That is very bad news.
25 years ago the Zarthans came to Earth trying to hide the Light from Serleena.
- We don't do that. - That's right. That's why I ordered it off the planet.
Well, Zed, I got a Kylothian class "C" in the middle of my park.
- Now, are you sure this light isn't still here? - Positive.
I gave the order, my best agent carried it out. It's as if I gave the order to you.
Well, let's ask the agent. Can't.
- Dead? - Sort of. He works at the post office.
No.
If Serleena gets to Kay before we do, he's dead.
The Earth's very existence may rest on what Kay knows.
It's too bad you wiped out his entire memory of it.
Bring him in. Now.
[Frank] How cool is this? Goin' to get Kay.
The legend. The go-to guy. Your mentor.
The guy who taught you everything you know.
The greatest agent in M. I.B. history... Frank! Stop talking.
Stay. Hey, listen, partner.
I may look like a dog, but I only play one here on Earth.
[Dog Barks] Whoa! Whatever.
Wipe your mouth. Hey, babe.
[Desk Bell Ringing]
[Kay] Good people of Truro, Massachusetts, may I have your attention?
In order to facilitate your shipping needs,
I'd like to remind you that all packages must be properly wrapped.
This one is an example of "go home and do it again."
And I think you know what I mean, Mrs Vigushin.
Brown paper and triple-twist twine are the preferred media.
Thank you for your time.
- Kay. - "C." Express mail. Two-day air.
Kevin. [Chuckles] Wow.
Kevin. That's funny. You just... You don't have, like, a Kevin...
You don't remember me, but we used to work together.
I never worked in a funeral home. Is there something I can do for you, slick?
Okay, uh, straight to the point.
You are a former agent of a top-secret organization...
that monitors extraterrestrials on Earth.
We're the Men In Black, we have a situation, and we need your help.
There is a free mental health clinic at the corner of Lilac and East Valley.
- Next. - [Girl] Excuse me.
Twenty Rugrats stamps, please. Elizabeth.
The United States Postal Service hasn't quite kept up with today's youth.
But I can offer you some nice Berlin airlift stamps. No.
- Uh, opera legends? - No.
- American Samoa? Amish quilts? - Excuse me, sweetie.
I'm sorry. Got a world to save.
There was no coma. It was all a cover.
- Who are you? - The question is, who are you?
I'm the postmaster of Truro, Massachusetts,
- And I'm ordering you to leave these premises. - Kay.
Is that decaf? Sorry.
All right, people, we have a breach. Farrell, cordon off this area.
Billings, I'll have a full-perimeter wipe-down right now. Kay...
Get a mop and escort all nonessential civilian personnel from this site immediately.
Yes, sir. Listen to yourself, Kay.
Who talks like that?
[Beeping]
Boo!
[Speaking Alien Language In Rhythmic Cadence]
[Responding Rhythmically In Alien Language]
[Continues In Alien Language]
Why do you think you're so comfortable here?
Just about everybody who works in the post office is an alien.
[Heavy Metal]
That's all I need
To get to where I'm goin'
Fast No smoking.
Speed demon
I could hear the...
[Engine Cranks] [Pumping Accelerator Pedal]
- Kay. - My wife and I went to Las Vegas.
We saw Siegfried and Roy fly a white tiger around a room.
- Your act is nothing special, Junior. - When you look up at the stars,
you get a feeling in your gut like you don't know who you are,
like you know more about what's going on out there than you do down here.
That's why she left you, Kay.
That's why your wife left you.
[Snorting] Okay, I'll tell you what.
You decide you wanna know who you really are, you come take a ride with me.
If not, people are waiting for their TV Guides.
[Frank] Think he'll bite?
[Remote Chirps]
[Chirp]
I'm just going for a ride. If things don't add up, it's hasta luego.
Hey, Kay.
How's it hangin'?
Good to see you, Kay. Good to see you too.
Whoever you are.
Well, let's see what you got here, chief.
Welcome back, Agent Kay.
- Agent Kay. - Greetings, Kay.
[Man] Wow, look who's back.
Don't mean to bother you, Agent Jay, but... Oh, my God, you're Agent Kay.
That's what they tell me. This really is an honour. Gee. Agent Gee.
The legend. The most respected agent in the history of M. I.B.
The most feared human in the universe... in the flesh!
Maybe I could buy you a cup of coffee sometime, hear some old war stories?
Black with two sugars, if you're goin'. An honour.
Yeah, I'll take a, uh... My man! [Man] Good to see you, Kay!
- How'd it go? - Zed, the Drolacks are gone and the treaty is signed.
Good work. Zed?
What about that position you promised me in Men In Black?
Still working on the alien affirmative action programme. I'll keep you posted.
Wait a minute. That's not what you promised me. Y-You're breaking up.
Zed? Hello? Can't hear you. I'll call you back.
I could be Agent Em. Zed, you...
[Dial Tone] [Chuckles] Kay.
Earth might be in a bad way, and you may be the only one who can save it.
Well, neither rain, sleet, snow...
Good man. Get him armed, up to speed and over to deneuralyzation.
Frank? Yeah?
- I'm gonna need them together on this one. - Ouch.
I'm looking for a new assistant.
- It's not field work, but you get better dental. - Dental?
This is the tech unit.
The most advanced technologies from all over the universe are in this room.
What's this?
[Screaming] All is lost! All is lost!
[Screaming Continues] Don't touch that!
I didn't do anything.
Hands in your pockets.
Your favourite weapon.
- That? - Yep.
Let's go put it on. What?
The last suit you'll ever wear.
Again. Th...
The deneuralyzer.
In a few moments, transverse magneto energy will surge through your brain,
unlocking information hidden deep and dormant that could hold the key...
to Earth's very survival.
Okay. What's that thing?
The deneuralyzer.
[Sighs]
[Customs Agent] Welcome to planet Earth.
In your case, there are some rules and regulations.
Go out only at night.
If you must go out during the daylight, only the East Village.
Under no circumstances... The alien centre is around the corner, to the left.
[Squawking In Alien Language]
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
[Customs Agent] Name and planet of origin.
Sylona Gorth. Planet Jorn. Kaluth system.
Any fruits or vegetables?
Yeah. Two heads of cabbage.
Reason for visit? Education.
I really wanna learn how to be an underwear model.
They tell me I've got real potential.
[Whimpers]
[Charlie] Help! Heart attack!
Clear!
Wake up, champ!
- [Alarm Sounding] - Oh, geez.
[Woman On P.A. System] Lockdown. Code 1O1.
Lockdown.
This is not good. This is not good. Lockdown.
[Snarling]
Breach! We're being firewalled and flushed.
Flushed? Yep. Ever been to a water park?
I don't know. [Toilet Flushes]
Whoo! Flushed. [Chuckles]
Back when you was an agent, you used to love getting flushed.
Yeah, every Saturday night you'd be, like, "Flush me, Jay, flush me."
I'd be, like, "No."
You can't quit on me now, Kay.
- I save the world, you tell me why I stare at the stars. - Cool.
[Remote Chirps] Hop in. Hop in what?
[Chirp]
Does that come standard?
Actually, it came with a black dude, but he kept getting pulled over.
Yeah.
Silly little planet. I could rule the place with the right set of mammary glands.
Trapped like rats...
in a Chia Pet.
Computer, surveillance M. I.B.
Hmm.
M. I.B. 's locked down.
Computer, magnify.
Times ten.
- Communicator. Frank. - Jay, where are you, partner?
- We got flushed. - [Frank] M. I.B. 's code 1O1.
- Yeah, who did it? - Some hot-looking biker chick. Want me to tail her?
- Stay where you are. I'll keep in touch. - Yeah. Stay where I am.
Easy for you to say. [Serleena] Have you found Kay?
Neuralyzed. Not active. Civilian.
What? But he was...
Here. To get... Deneuralyzed.
Deneuralyzed. Memory's shot. Erased. But we'll find him.
Don't put anything in our ears.
[Scoffs] What?
What do you make of that? I found it in my coat. Weird, huh?
- Yeah, you're smiling. - Is that deneuralyzer thing the only one?
The only official one. Plans leaked out on the Internet a few years ago.
Computer, Internet. Deneuralyzer.
[Jay] Perfect. He's an old friend.
[Door Opens] Hey, Jay! Ain't seen you in a while.
Yo, did you peep that drop-top thing out front? Oh, yeah.
My business is bangin', dawg.
You gotta check out the web site. It's Jeebsie-dot...
Okay, wh... He's retired, right?
We need the deneuralyzer.
You're kidding. The metre's running, Jeebs.
Do you... remember me?
Can't say I do. I'm pretty good with faces. I think I'd remember that.
Ha-ha! The great Kay is a neutral!
You're standing between me and my memories, pal.
Do you have this deneuralyzer thing or not? No.
Fresh out.
Can't help you. [Chuckles]
Don't got it.
Even if I did,
if it doesn't work, he dies, you blow my head off.
If it does work, I've brought back Kay who, just for fun, blows my head off.
So what's my incentive?
[Chuckles] Okay, homey. I keep it downstairs next to the snow blowers.
[Buzzer Buzzes]
[Man Over P.A.] Alien prisoners released, armed, ready for your orders.
[Serleena] Prisoners of M. I.B., the scum of the universe.
Well, now it's the scum's turn.
I'm in a bit of a jam, so I'm gonna make this simple.
I need the Light of Zartha, and Kay knows where it is.
So, whoever brings Kay to me gets Earth.
Start by finding a deneuralyzer. They're gonna want to get his memory back.
Check.
Now.
Jarra, good to see you.
Okay, that should do it.
Now, if I could have your attention for a brief moment...
while we go over the safety procedures.
Keep your hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times.
If at any point you become disoriented... there's nothing we can do.
Have you removed all your jewellery?
Are you allergic to shellfish?
- Jeebs! - Right, then!
Smoke 'em if you got 'em.
[Engine Starts]
Have you ever used this thing before?
I used the exhaust once to make some hot air popcorn. That's about it.
Okay!
Let's make it happen, Cap'n!
[Jeebs] Hmm.
[Engine Restarts]
[Gasps]
Perfect.
[Squeals]
You're back.
- No. - Then how'd you know his head would grow back?
It grows back?
Real nice. Okay, that's the last time I help out a friend.
Kay, you remember anything? Goodbye.
Kay. Kay, wait!
I-I never got the updated software.
Still workin' off the 6.O.
Your brain needs to reboot.
Give it a minute.
Kay!
Bottom of my heart, Jay. I'm really sorry.
I hope this doesn't affect our friendship.
All those years of loyalty and trust, respect for one another.
Right over there!
- Where's Kay? - He's not here! He went...
Kay is officially retired. I'm his trigger-happy replacement.
Something I can do for you gentlemen? Great. Right in the pie hole.
- Now nothing's gonna taste right. - Lower your weapon.
No.
- [Groans] - Jay. How are you, boo-boo?
- Look, these guys really need Kay. - He's a neutral.
Tell me somethin' we don't know. Yeah, tell me somethin'...
Ah-choo! I am so sorry.
- God bless you. - Thank you.
Look, if I don't bring Kay back to M. I.B.,
Serleena's gonna kick my ass.
Now, where is he? Where's who?
You don't look too good. [Snarls]
- Yeah, and you look like crap. - [High-pitched Giggling]
I'll take that back. He look like crap.
- Bend him. - "Bend him."
Ah, damn, wait. No, don't bend him.
[Screaming] [Crunch]
[Bicycle Bell Rings]
[Growls]
Hey, honey, how you doin'?
Damned decent of you.
Don't mention it.
- [Continues Screaming] - I think I'm gonna be sick.
You don't wanna do that.
- Fellas, I think he's telling the truth. - Then he's no good to us.
[Yelling]
Didn't I teach you anything, kid?
Pineal eye!
- [Groans] - Go for the mosh tendrils!
[Yells, Groans]
- [Clanking] - Kay, he's a ball-chinnian.
Oh.
- [Groans] - [Grunts]
- Looks like you were in a pretty tight spot, kid. - I had this one handled.
You need a partner. I had one. Job got too tough for him.
I'm back. You got some dust on your coat.
So, you got your memory back. Yeah.
What the hell is going on? Don't know.
Okay, what is the Light of Zartha?
Never heard of it. Cool.
If your memory's back, how come you don't remember the Light of Zartha?
Must have neuralyzed myself in order to keep the information from myself.
Ah, good plan. W-Wait, man, what you doin'?
I always do the driving. I remember that. Wait, no. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What you remember is, you used to drive that old busted jawn.
See, I drive the new hotness.
Old and busted.
New hotness.
[Chirps] [Doors Opening]
Old, busted hotness.
Serleena, please. Been a long time, Zed.
I'm just touched you remembered me. Makes me fuzzy all over.
I never forget a pretty... whatever you are.
[Groans]
[Kick Lands] Zed?
[Groans] Zed! Look at you.
Twenty-five years, and you're still such a looker.
Cut out the meat and dairy.
And look at you... still a pile of squirmy crap in a different wrapper.
Oh, so feisty. Look, Zed, we both need the same thing.
Bring him in.
- Don't think so. - Have we forgotten the little secret of the Light?
If it's not off Earth by midnight it self-destructs, annihilating your little planet.
Here's the deal... I lose, you lose. I win, everything keeps spinning.
You don't want the Light on Earth any more than I do.
[Phone Key Pad Beeping] All right, Serleena.
You win.
[Phone Beeps, Line Picks Up]
[Michael Jackson] Zed, is that you? I could be Agent Em.
Zed? Hello?
[Shouting]
[Grunts, Groans]
So feisty.
Fastest way back to M. I.B., you take this right on 39th.
Right here. Right.
Next right on 37th.
Right here. Thirty... Thirty... Right...
We're not going back to M. I.B. Headquarters has been breached.
We need to bust in there, peel some caps and split some wigs up in that joint.
I'm not ready.
You've been out five years.
That's a long time in this game. I understand that you're scared.
I'm a little scared too.
I'm not scared. Me neither.
I... I just thought we was bondin'.
Five years, you're still acting like a rookie.
Splitting wigs and stepping on caps.
It's no wonder Zed brought me back.
Hey, Zed brought you back because you messed up.
This attitude of yours makes for a very stressful working environment.
Man, tell it to the hand. Stressful work environment is what we got at M. I.B. now.
Exactly. Serleena thinks I know where the Light is.
She broke into M. I.B. in order to lure me back. Into a trap.
Which is exactly why we don't need to be just bustin' in there, man.
We gotta have a plan. Where we goin'? Scene of the crime?
You're the boss. Yeah, scene of the crime.
That's a... That's a left, though.
[Jay] Here it is. I'll contact the eyewitness.
We can talk to her. Things have changed.
We used to neuralyze all the witnesses.
See, I had, um... Originally, I had, I had, um...
No, I, um... I was, I was gonna, uh...
Wh... We... Uh, I... Uh, I interrogated her. Then you neuralyzed her.
What you mean?
What I mean is, M. I.B. procedural code 773/I-1 clearly states...
that all civilian personnel...
- Drop that weapon! - No, no, no! - Oh, Jay, I'm sorry.
No, no, I-I'm fine. It's my fault. I probably, uh... [Sniffs]
- Uh, Kay, my partner, Laura, the witness. - Pleasure.
Jay, thanks for sending those agents over to keep an eye on me last night.
- That was really sweet. - M. I.B. procedural code 594-B...
states that M. I.B. personnel shall never be used for any other purpose...
Ben, the Zarthan, was vaporized here,
so I'm assuming the perp was over in this direction.
Ben. Was he about 5-7, portly fellow, thinning hair?
- You knew him? - Nope.
Never seen him before in my life. That is a hell of a fish.
Wait a minute.
You left yourself clues.
Yeah, in case I had to be deneuralyzed...
because my replacement couldn't handle the situation.
Oh, well, if the joker that had got deneuralyzed...
hadn't created the situation in the first place...
[Laura] Boys.
All right.
You pointin' at somethin'.
What you... you got...
Excuse me.
The astronaut.
[Sighs] Jay.
Okay, all right, now he's pointin'...
H-He's, like... He's like...
Who would stack pizza boxes like this?
A pizza box stacker that's not stackin' pizza boxes. He's leaving clues.
It's an arrow.
- Jay... - You're slowin' me down, slick.
Whatever we're looking for is in these cabinets right here.
Anchovy fillets in virgin olive oil.
I hope I'm not slowing you down.
G-Good work, partner. Yeah.
Now we gotta figure out where it goes.
- I know where it goes. - Whoa, Kay, no. Not yet.
M. I.B. procedural code 773 clearly states...
I know the code, Kay. But no, she might be important to me...
Uh, to us. Well, for help. To help us later.
Well, she can't stay here. They'll be back.
You can stay with some friends of mine.
People like you? Kinda.
- [Worms] Jay! - Low bridge!
- What's goin' on, man? - What's happenin', fellas? M. I.B. is code 1O1.
- [All Exclaiming] - Bad. - Very bad.
I need your help. This is Laura.
- [All Exclaiming] Laura! Hey, what's shakin'? - Easy! Easy!
- They're worms. - Once you go worm, that's what you'll yearn!
[Worms Laughing] Yeah! That's what they say.
They just... I've dated worse.
They're under suspension for stealing from the duty-free shop.
- We were framed. - Ah, Zed's wormophobic.
Kay! You're back! Somebody said you were dead! You look good!
We're double-parked. Yeah. Laura's very important to me.
To us. To the stuff... Me and you, man. The stuff we doin'.
Keep an eye on her for me.
- We'll keep both of them on her. - No problem!
- [Speaks Alien Language] - Hey, hey, hey!
Sit right here. Oh, yeah, like you got a shot.
- Hey, shut up! - [Speaks Alien Language]
- [Responds In Alien Language] - Yeah? You and what army?
My communicator, in case you need it.
[Worms Gasping, Laughing]
Nice move! Okay, um...
Oh, uh, just watch out for Neeble.
Which one's Neeble? Um, he's...
Which one of y'all is Neeble?
- Yo, mama! I'm Neeble. - Ah. Him right there.
It's fine. Everything's straight. It's safe.
Um, don't fall asleep.
- Twister! - [Worms Chattering In Alien Language]
Run over your plan with me one more time, 'cause I'm struggling with it.
You neuralyzed away any memory of the Light of Zartha,
but left yourself clues in case you had to come back.
Right. Photo in an old suit that was pointing to a key in a pizzeria.
The key opens a locker at Grand Central. Right.
And when we open the locker we'll find another clue. That's the plan.
Ah!
I like to keep my enemies confused.
We all confused, Kay.
[Kay] You're not gonna slow me down on this, are you?
[Jay] Slow you down? Whose brain's working on outdated software?
Go grab us some coffee while I do this. Oh, sure thing.
How you take it? Black, couple cubes of kiss my ass?
I don't know what's in there. I don't want you to get hurt. So step back.
Kay, for real, man, open the damn locker.
[All Shouting In Unison] Kay! He's back! The light-giver!
All hail Kay! All hail Kay!
Oh, Kay, can you see by the dawn's early light
[Continues] You're the Man Who Would Be King of the train locker.
Praise Kay! Praise Kay!
O good and gentle townfolk of locker C-18,
did I leave anything here?
Yes. The timekeeper.
You left it to illuminate our streets and our hearts.
I've been looking everywhere for that watch. O merciful one!
- The clock tower! - No, I-I-I got y'all. It's cool.
[Creatures Clamouring] Here, check this out.
Titanium case, waterproof to over 3OO metres.
That's bangin', right?
- Who are you, stranger? - Jay.
[In Unison] Hmm. All hail Jay! All hail Jay!
- Oh, Jay, can you see - O merciful Jay, the keeper of...
Come on.
[Creature] Wait! The commandments!
[Creature] The tablet! The tablet!
[All Chanting] The tablet! The tablet!
We have lived by its word, and peace has reigned throughout our world.
Pass it on to others so that they too may be enlightened.
[Creatures In Unison] Be kind! Rewind!
Go back and reconcile your past in order to move tranquilly into your future.
[In Unison] Two for one every Wednesday!
Give twice as much as ye receive on the most sacred of days... every Wednesday!
[In Unison] Large adult entertainment section in the back!
[Clamouring, Laughing]
That's just nasty.
What's up with the video card? I don't know.
Why'd you leave the watch? To remind me.
Of what? Can't remember. Guess.
I'd guess we have till midnight. That's 59 minutes and 37 seconds to figure it out.
Here's an idea. How about we stop chasing all these butt-backward clues...
go get a couple fission carbonizers and get our headquarters back?
It's all about to make sense, kid.
Is this card valid?
This card hasn't been used in years... before I was born.
- I've been away on business. - Billions of frequent-flyer miles.
Try and use them. I always wanted to go to Cambodia.
You can get a lobster dinner there for like, a dollar.
And the airlines said they black out holidays. You have to stay over a weekend.
It's a conspiracy, I'm sure. I mean, why would...
- Can you tell us anything about the account? - [Keyboard Keys Clacking]
Only that you never checked out a tape. You reserved one once, but you never picked it up.
- Newton? - There's a huge rat in the toilet.
It's all stopped up, so you're gonna have to pee in the sin...
[Scoffs] Still think I'm paranoid? Yeah.
Gentlemen, my name is Newton. I run the place.
- Seen any aliens lately? - You need professional help, son.
He's getting it. It's not working.
Okay, so, new case, huh? Episode 27, Light of Zartha.
Got it.
Jarra, it's just a sin that they've kept a genius like you locked away.
Their Eagle Scout agent, Jay, caught me siphoning the Earth's ozone to sell black market.
They're very touchy about this global warming thing.
I need a spacecraft. Something that can travel 3OO times the speed of light.
Do it, I'll give you whatever you want.
- Give me Jay, we'll call it even. - Groovy.
You've got till midnight.
Gatbot, I got a little something special for you.
[Beeping]
[Woman] Newton. Newton. Is that you?
Yes, Mom. I'm up here with some friends.
I want to have your baby. Would you like some mini pizza?
You guys want some mini pizzas? They're good.
Like mini bagels with pizza stuff on 'em.
She'll put a little fontina cheese on, you know.
She has palsy, so she ends up putting a lot of cheese on.
No, thanks. We're cool.
Over here.
- This is it. - Hmm. Finally, some hard evidence.
Yes. Gentlemen, before I play the tape, one question:
What's up with anal probing?
I mean, aliens travel billions of light-years just to check out our...
Boy, move.
Okay. Just a question.
[Man] Here is one of their stories that "never happened"...
from one of their files that "doesn't exist. "
1978, devastating war of Zartha...
had raged on for 5O years.
- Looks like Spielberg's work. - But the Zarthans had a great treasure,
the Light of Zarthan, a source of power so awesome... Awesome.
it alone could mean victory and restoration for the Zarthans,
or complete annihilation if it fell into the hands of the Kylothians.
A group of Zarthans made the journey, led by the keeper of the Light,
Lauranna. Princess Lauranna.
Lauranna beseeched the Men in Black to help her hide the Light on Earth.
But they could not intervene.
No. It was night...
and it was raining.
- You've been very wise. - [Lauranna] Kay, please,
if Serleena takes the Light it's the end of our world.
[Kay] Madam Ambassador, if we extend protection for the Light...
beyond the Earth, we put the Earth itself in jeopardy.
We have no choice. We must remain neutral.
Where is it? Where is it? We're neutral, remember?
If you want it, go get it. Go get it. [Echoing]
[Serleena] No!
[Man On Video] And so, never knowing it happened,
the people of Earth were once again saved by a secret society of protectors...
[Video Clicks Off] I shouldn't have.
You never sent it off the planet.
You hid it here.
The worm guys.
[Newton's Mother] Are you one of Newton's friends from group therapy?
[Kay] Uh, yes, ma'am, I am. Would you look here, please? Would you like some mini piz...
[Zapping Sound]
A neuralyz... [Zapping Sound]
Okay. First, get some contact lenses,
'cause joints look like they can pick up cable.
Second, take her to Cambodia, get her a lobster dinner. Pay more than a dollar.
Third, the second y'all get back from Cambodia,
move your bum ass out of your mom's house.
[Kay] Let's go, bud. Boy, you like 4O years old...
Agent Jay? A'ight. A'ight.
Oh, and there ain't no such thing as aliens or Men in Black.
You wanna go to Cambodia? Yeah.
Hey, Mom?
Communicator. Jay.
[Jazz] Laura, it's me.
Jay, we're playing Twister. [Worms, Together] What's up, Jay?
Hey, quit touching my butt. I thought it was your face.
[Worms Laughing] They're really good at this. They don't have any spines.
Oh, they were telling me about Oprah... from Chicago.
[Worms, Together] Maybe landed in Chicago. [All Laughing]
Are you wearing a bracelet? [Laura] Yeah.
Is it glowing?
- It's never done that before. - We're on our way.
Communicator. Frank. Frank, get down to subcontrol level "C."
Deactivate the lockdown. We're on our way to the worm guys.
We found the Light. [In Frank's Voice] Got it, Jay.
Scrad? Bitch.
Why didn't you say I love you?
He's a dog. I don't even like him. The girl. You're sweet on her.
- Hey, Kay... - That's why you didn't neuralyze her.
- You got emotionally involved. - Yeah, like you did with Lauranna?
I put the entire planet in danger because I got emotionally involved.
I don't want to see you making my mistakes.
Whatever, man.
Laura?
Oh.
Oy.
Oh. Damn.
[Groaning]
[Neeble Talking, Alien Language] Never stood half a chance.
- Oh, boy. - [Grunts] That's gonna leave a scar.
[Neeble Continues In Alien Language]
- Where's Laura? - M. I.B. headquarters. Some dumb, two-headed guy.
They got the bracelet. We got 39 minutes.
You guys, um, pull yourselves together.
Damn.
Oh, that's-that's feeling better.
Hey, guys, wait up. Hold on. Let me grab my drink.
Serleena has the bracelet. Why did she take Laura? She also wants me.
What's the book say about this one? We're off book.
I say we split some wigs. We need some wig-splittin' weapons.
Aw, Paw Paw's coming to visit me. Hello, Paw Paw.
Paw Paw and ZuZu love to see what's going on. [Door Opens]
Don't worry about a thing, folks, I used to live here. Came by to pick up a few things.
[Mannix] Nice place. Hoo-hah!
Whoo-wee!
[Grunts]
[Mannix] See ya.
[Kay] You did not see a room full of shiny weapons.
You did not see four alien night crawlers.
You will cherish and love each other for the rest of your lives.
Which could be the next 27 or 28 minutes, so y'all should get to lovin' and cherishin'.
Oh, and she can stay up as late as she want...
and have cookies and candy and cakes and junk and stuff.
[Woman On P.A.] Four minutes to launch. Four minutes to launch.
Your ship is ready.
Good. Send it to Kyloth now.
- Ready, guys? - Lock and load, baby.
You ready, kid? Kid?
You know, while you were away licking stamps, I saved the world from a Kreelon invasion.
The Kreelons are the Backstreet Boys of the universe. They throw snowballs at you?
You know what you're doing? Yep. I'm about to attack...
one of the most feared aliens in the universe with four worms and a mailman.
Let's make it hot. No, no. Wait a minute.
Code 1-O-1 lockdown!
I know, I know! The building gets pressurized. Nothing in, nothing out.
I knew that! You knew that! Front and centre, worms!
[Neeble] You got it.
It's about time you guys got here.
That pretty lady in there is causing all kinds of hell.
[Elevator Dings]
Oh, yummy. Someone I need to eat.
Get to the launch pad on the roof. The bracelet shows the departure point.
No matter what happens, do not come back for me. That's an order.
- What you mean? - Do not come back for me.
Worm guys, give me some cover fire. Too scared. Can't move.
[All Whimpering]
Go.
- Limber. - Go to the subcontrol panel seven R-Delta.
Shut off all the power to the launch pad so they can't take off.
Can't. Too scared.
- Ohh, that way. - Away from the bullets.
No problem. Hoo-hah!
Alley-oop!
Nice to see you again, Kay.
- [Woman On P.A.] Three minutes to launch. - Jay!
Three minutes to launch.
Hello, Jay. Long time.
Jarra, what's up, man? Wow, you look great.
What's it been, five years? And 42 days, thanks to you.
You count every one when you're locked away like a primate.
Well, you shouldn't have been trying to steal our ozone. Be there in one minute, sweetie.
Over our dead, titanium bodies!
Two minutes.
- Uh, let's play this one by ear. - [Shrieking]
I should have vaporized you when I had the chance.
You really did love Lauranna, didn't you, Kay?
You silly, little man.
[Yelling]
[Grunts] Ow!
[Woman On P.A.] Two minutes to launch.
- Just go, I'll be fine. - What you talking 'bout, girl? I'm winning.
Jarra, you are under arrest for being that ugly...
and for making that many copies.
- Now surrender. - I want him in pieces.
- [Shrieking] - Whoa!
Jarra Junior is going, going...
gooo-n-e!
[Yelling]
[Mannix] Rectum... [Neeble] Damn near killed him.
[Mannix] Never get tired of that one. [Neeble] I'll say.
[Sleeble] Guys, where do we shut off the power? [Gleeble] I don't know.
- [Yelling] - [Yelling]
[Jay] Laura, I'm fine. I'll be there in just a minute.
[Jarra] No, he won't.
- Uh-huh. Down to one now, Jarra! - [Whooping]
[Woman On P.A.] Thirty seconds to launch. [Groans]
God!
[Woman On P.A.] Fifteen seconds to launch.
Ten seconds to launch.
Eight, seven, six,
five, four,
three, two... [Controls Beeping]
[Engines Rev Down] Launch terminated.
What did you mean, "just leave you?" I never run out on a fight.
Well, he took your gun. Cracked you on the head. Yeah? And?
Slammed you across the room. [Scoffs]
Half the time you were on your back. [Grunts]
That's how I fight.
You've lost, you insignificant speck.
You've wasted 25 years of my time and for what?
The complete and total annihilation of Zartha. All because you went mushy.
I'll give you one last chance to surrender, you slimy Kylothian invertebrate.
- Oh, what are you gonna do to stop me? - Not me, him.
[Gun Cocks] Your flight's been cancelled.
[Yelling]
Oh! Okay. Shut down power. Shut down power.
Ah, buttons, buttons. I'm guessing, uh, yeah.
Worms! [Mannix] Sorry.
[Beeps]
Give me the bracelet. Please, give me the bracelet? I'm going with you.
Everybody in the car. Everybody. I don't think she should...
I can't believe this charm bracelet is what everybody's been after.
You'd be surprised how often it's something small like that. It's not the Light.
- It tells us the departure point. - What?
We don't get to that departure point in 11 minutes and 15 seconds,
that bracelet's gonna go nuclear and destroy all life on Earth.
- What? - Hello.
- [Groans] - Wait. Kay, no.
I know what I'm doing, Slick. Kay, no!
Damn.
- Modify to hyper-speed. - Seat belts.
- [Kay] What's that? - At hyper-speed, you have to use the navigational stalk.
[Jay] Use the toggle switches for the left and right ailerons.
- Use the joysticks for the stabilizer and rudder. - Okay.
[Cries Out] I just want you to know... You know what?
Hold on to that for me for one second. Okay.
Computer. Worms.
I said, "Listen, bitch, if you don't want me to kick your skinny, Zone Diet ass...
[All Laughing] turn around and exit the planet. "
[Jay On Speaker] Frank, where are you? Main hall, egg display.
Okay, lost control. We're taking fire. Kay pushed the red button.
Computer at M. I. B can lock on and destroy bogey. I'll walk you through it.
[Together] When-dah.
Jay? Frank. You were the best darn partner a Remoolian could ever have.
Godspeed.
Frank. Frank? Frank!
Okay, here we go. Automatic pilot. [Beeps]
It is not automatic piloting.
He doesn't operate at hyper-speed. I could use a steering wheel!
We don't have no damn steering wheel. This what we got.
Didn't your mother ever give you a Game Boy?
- What is a Game Boy? - You know what? Move. Move!
- Oh, okay. - Hey, that is not the navigational stalk.
[Both Grunt]
Okay, straight down.
Idiots.
- The subway may not be the best place to lose her. - Shh!
Where is he? Jeff? He?
Hang on!
Oops. Teeth.
[Jeff Burps] [Clanging]
Runnin' out of time, Kay. Where is the Light?
Right here.
- What? - What, I'm the Light?
No. No way. You have a planet to save, Laura.
You've got me confused with somebody else. I work part-time at a pizzeria.
Two days ago, I was running a post office in Truro, Mass. You are who you are.
Laura, you are the Light.
The leader of your people. Their spirit and their hope.
The power is within you to save the planet.
I protected you until it was your time. Your time is now.
You were hidden on Earth 25 years ago to...
You are going to save a world.
I can't be... I'm a Libra. You know things before they happen.
You're Zarthan. When you get sad, it always seems to rain.
Well, lots of people get sad when it rains.
It rains because you're sad, baby.
It's not fair.
Never is.
We are who we are. Even if we sometimes forget.
[Roars]
Jeff, I am so not in the mood for you! Get back in the subway, right now!
That's not good.
- [Screeching] - Wait! No!
- [Yelling] - [Laura] Jay!
I cannot emphasize strongly enough how much we need you on that transport, Princess.
[Growls] [Jay] Laura, you have to go. Oh, geez!
Go. He's fine, he does this all the time.
[Grunting] Nope.
[Grunts] 'Bout to lay the smack down on your candy ass.
Laura, it's your destiny!
I was talking, Kay. [Yells]
Hey, no biting!
If you don't go, we all die. [Jay Screaming]
[Jay Cries Out] You're just as beautiful as your mother.
[Jay Grunting]
Kay, a little help! [Serleena Roaring]
Kay!
Might I suggest a bigger gun?
[Jay Yelling]
Kid? Yeah?
Thanks for bringing me back. No problem.
Why didn't you tell me? Would you have let her go?
So, what's it like on the outside?
You know, not doing this every day? It's nice.
Sleep late on the weekends. Watch the Weather Channel.
[Sighs] I did miss this city.
[Jay] So Laura is Princess Lauranna's daughter.
Did y'all... M. I.B. 's a mess. Let's go, kid.
Let's go? Man, thousands of people in New York and New Jersey...
just saw our little event.
Plan needs to be thought out. Plan needs to be cool.
What you...
Kid, I'll get you trained yet. I want one of those. Damn.
Hey. How ya doin'? Hey.
I'm good, man. Good. We've all been there, kid.
The girl is gone and it hurts. You wanna talk?
No. No. I can help.
Still sulking? No.
Hell, you miss her. It happens to all of us.
There was this hot, young thing I knew once, and when our bodies were entwined...
in the positions of the Kama Sutra... Zed!
- [Growls] - Come on, man. Damn!
Hey, Jay, I'll tell you something about dames.
They say they want to be scratched behind the ears, but what they really want is...
[Growls Suggestively] [Jay] Hey, Frank!
- What, still sittin' shivah? Want my advice? - No.
No advice. No talking.
Hell, no.
Fellas, I swear, I'm fine.
[Aliens] All hail Jay. All hail Jay.
[Kay] I brought 'em over from Grand Central terminal.
Why'd you put them rats in my locker, man?
I thought it would put things in perspective for you.
No, Kay, it's actually kind of sad, man, really. We need to let them out.
I mean, they need to know the world is bigger than that. [Sighs] Still a rookie.
Whoa.
[Chorus] The black suits comin' The black suits comin'
I'm comin', I'm comin' I'm comin', I'm comin'
I am the man in black I'm back breaking the back
Of the random attackers so can the flak
You want dangerous I've been trained to bust when a stranger fuss
Try to endanger us Praise me, y'all
Don't knock and phase me y'all
When they see me they gaze me y'all crazy y'all
They say I'm a myth Trust me, if somebody riff
Out of the depths of your imagination appears Will Smith
Black suit, the black shades the black shoes, black tie with a black attitude
New style black Ray Bans I'm stunning, man
New hot in this pitch black 6OO, man
Don't you understand What, you thought I wouldn't come again
Leave you hanging' without bringing you the fun again
Tangling' with the alien scum again
[Indistinct]
Nod ya head Let me see you nod ya head The black suits coming
Like this Let me see you Nod your head
Like this Let me see you bop your head, nod your head
Nod ya head The black suits coming
Let me see you Like this Nod your head
Let me see you nod your head like this Nod your head
Check it, yon It's this chick, right
Serleena making me sick, right
Earth is worthless to her she be tripping' like
Threatening me and my mense trying to get the Light
Thinking' she's super woman but black
Finishing whatever you start, son
The best-looking crime fighter since myself in part one
Better act right and play nice and sing along
'Cause Kay is back and he like, "What, bring it on
Uh, wanna brawl with me trying to brawl with me
Uh, uh
What, what
Y'all see
What, what
Femme see you just Come on, just
Come on and nod your head like this Nod your head
Let me see you nod your head Nod your head
Let me see you nod your head like this Nod your head
Let me see you Nod your head
Let me see you nod your head
Let me see you Come on, come on Nod your head
Let me see ya Like this Nod your head
Let me see ya Check it, check it Nod your head
Yon, case closed erase my foes
Chased away by the black suit shades and clothes
We above the law Feds can't touch me, y'all
Highly ranked black blank I.D. card
So disregard what you think you saw
Put that phone down now who you think you calling'
One little flash then good night, dear
Just open your eyes, honey Look right here, thank you
Mission completed, I mean it We won't be defeated
You seen we did it even with weapons depleted
Galaxy defenders don't act like you don't remember
Taking' contenders and proving' they only pretenders
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls
The Men in Black is back to protect the world
When the enemy is near the elite is here
So have no fear just let me see you
Nod your head Come on Black suits coming
Nod your head, like this Black suits coming
Let me see you Like this Nod your head
Let me see you Nod your head
Nod ya head Whoa
Nod ya head Uh
Nod ya head Yon, yon
[Continues, Indistinct]
[Ends]
[Woman Vocalizing]
[Continues]
[Ends]