大家沒事吧 Is everybody ok?
我沒事 謝謝你沒丟下我 I'm fine. Thanks for waiting.
發生什么事了 What was that?
水管和煤氣管爆炸的逃生方式都一樣 Water either gas line, the training is the same.
大家彎腰前行 馬上離開房子 People, just stay low and move out.
老公 盧克不見了 Honey, Luke's gone.
克萊爾 人體自燃十分少見 Claire, spontaneous human combustion is very rare.
我不覺得是他自爆了 菲爾 I don't think he exploded, Phil.
繩梯很管用 至少有人是按規程來的 The rope ladder works. At least someone followed protocol.
是那個 Oh! Oh, it's there!
煙是從盧克該死的魔術箱里冒出來的 Smoke is coming out of Luke's stupid suitcase.
有其父必有其子 盧克也是個魔術師 Like his old man, Luke is a magician.
教我魔術的是我爸上網搜來的大師 I'm taking lessons from some guy my dad found online.
他可是有莫德斯托巫師大會 He came personally recommended from the guy who runs
舉辦者的個人推薦呢 The Warlock Conference up in Modesto.
此位有人了 大塊頭 Ocupad, big guy.
請另尋良枝吧 Find another foxhole.
大家跟我一起學唱歌* *This is how we learn to sing
誰來跟我一起唱* *Who can go up here with me?
小卡要去本地中學當音樂老師了 Cam took a job teaching music at the local middle school.
明天就是上班第一天 Yeah, his first day is tomorrow.
我為自己開心 I'm excited for me,
但更為我的學生開心 but I'm probably more excited for the students
因為優秀的老師是天賜的禮物 because a great teacher is a gift.
還沒正式上崗呢 Hasn't started yet.
我要向我的高中音樂老師致敬 I have to tip my hat to my high school music teacher...
此人帶有自然的魔力 A real force of nature
同時身兼橄欖球隊的防守員 who was also the defensive coordinator for the football team
和農場動物俱樂部的牛犢接生監察員 and supervised calf birthing for the animal husbandry club.
朵莉絲·奧爾森 一位偉大的女士 Doris Olson. Great lady.
好一位女士 Lady.
大家跟我一起學唱歌* *This is how... we learn to sing
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翻譯：慕秋雪 Wendyshark 貓中之王
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翻譯：獨醉 olivia_xuxu 小飯
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時間軸：菜六水 校對：伊森·D·澤生 后期&總監：瓜瓜
家 庭
摩 登
第四季 第四集
杰 我會想死你的 Ay, Jay, I'm going to miss you.
只是一晚上而已 It's one night.
不 我不想和你分離 No, I don't want to be without you,
我這輩子一晚都不能離開你 not even one night in my whole life.
我能為你做點什么 What can I make you?
在床上給我騰點位置怎么樣 How about a little room on my side of the bed?
我是不該抱怨 我老婆美艷動人 但是 I mean, I shouldn't complain. My wife's a knockout. But...
她現在處于孕期中的某個階段 she's at that place in her pregnancy
她變得臃腫 where, she's, you know... ample.
還打呼嚕 And the snoring.
我發誓 上一張超音波片里嬰兒是這樣的 I swear in the last ultrasound, the baby was like this...
我明天中午就能到家 So I should be home about noon tomorrow.
誰把咖啡都喝完了 Who drank all the coffee?
我喝了不少 Oh, I, uh, I had quite a bit of that.
我最近晚上睡得不太好 You know, I haven't, um, been sleeping too well.
失眠的原因說來也挺好笑 There's actually a funny story about what's causing that.
媽 我非常理解您的身體正經歷著變化 Mom, I'm fully aware of the changes your body is going through,
鼻塞也是懷孕時常見的現象 and that nasal stuffiness is very common during pregnancy,
但家里的情況已經刻不容緩了 but we got a crisis in this house.
你打呼太嚴重了 我幫你買了呼吸輔助貼 You've been snoring. But I got you these nasal strips.
廣告里 In the commercial,
連老頭如雷般的呼嚕聲也能化為輕柔之音 the old man's angry red sound waves turn a gentle blue.
-所以我打呼像老頭子嗎 -不是 - So I'm like an old man? - No!
那我是像狗 還是像豬 Like a dog then? A pig?
怎么 曼尼 我是老頭子 還是狗或豬 What is it, Manny? I'm an old man, a dog, or a pig?
杰 幫我說兩句 你也聽到呼聲了 Jay, help me out here. You've heard it.
我完全不知道這孩子在說什么 I don't know what the boy's talking about.
如果這是青春期的曼尼 我可不喜歡 If this is a glimpse of teenage Manny, I don't love it.
你媽這么漂亮 你要尊重她 Have a little respect for your beautiful mother.
謝謝你 杰 Thank you, Jay.
你說得對 我錯了媽媽 You're right. Sorry, mom.
杰 And, Jay,
祝你在舊金山玩得愉快 Have a great trip to San Francisco.
莉莉到校的時間是8點45到50之間 Okay, Lily's drop-off time is between 8:45 and 8:50,
所以你應該能來得及9點上班 so you should be fine to get work by 9.
這是她背包內容的清單 Here is her checklist for her backpack.
我一切都計劃好了 Oh, I have this whole thing planned.
我款款步入教室 脫下我的外套 Okay, I'm gonna walk in, take off my jacket,
大聲宣布 高音號在此 and say, "Here comes treble."
上班第一天扭得挺歡啊 Big swing on the first day.
請不要打擊我的熱情 Please don't tamp down my enthusiasm.
好了 還有什么 Okay, what else?
對了 調光器的開關有問題 Oh! The dimmer came in for the switch,
你去請個電工來 但是別找Brad so I want you to call the electrician, but not Brad.
還記得上次我們為賬單和他不太愉快嗎 Remember? We had a problem with him last time about the billing.
因為他想要名列賬單[演員表]前茅 He wanted his name above the title?
你講過這個笑話了 好可愛好好笑 Yes, you've done that joke before. So cute. So funny.
還有什么 哦 What else? Oh!
莉莉需要為吉奧的生日派對準備禮物 Lily needs to get a present for Gio's birthday party.
別被請帖迷惑了 And don't be thrown by the invitation.
是海盜主題派對 不是普拉提健身派對 It is a pirates party, not a pilates party.
過來坐好 我再說說果汁盒的事 Now sit. I wanna talk juice boxes.
小卡 小卡 我知道你現在什么狀況 Cam. Cam, I know what's happening here.
你第一天上班 感覺特別緊張 You're feeling very anxious about your first day at work,
然后你把焦慮轉移到我和莉莉身上 And you're focusing that anxiety on my day with Lily.
真的嗎 你不覺得 Really? Are you sure I'm not
我對這第一天充滿了信心嗎 completely confident about my first day
人家肯定滿分表現啦 because it's gonna be a home run.
而我擔心你 是因為你的任務 And I am worried about you because you're taking on
可不只是照顧莉莉呢 a little bit more of the Lily load?
別怕 親愛的 么哇 Don't be scared, sweetie. Mwah!
她才不怕呢 你這是干嘛 She's not scared! What are you doing?
-需要我就打電話給我 -不會的 - Just call me if you need me. - I won't!
非常感謝你控制一下我的期望值 And thank you for managing my expectations today.
但其實沒必要 Not necessary.
我昨晚看到你在練習鞠躬 I saw you practicing a bow last night.
練著玩兒而已 That was just in fun.
因為我覺得那些孩子是不會 You know, I highly doubt some teenagers are gonna
往我腳邊撒玫瑰花瓣的 throw rose petals at my feet.
但是我第一堂課結束后 But I wouldn't be surprised
掌聲經久不息什么的也不足為奇 if I got slow-clapped out of my first class.
錯了 Wrong.
我還在想呢 I am thinking.
如果你真的用腦在想 If you were thinking,
就不會把西雅圖當成華盛頓州的首府了 you wouldn't have Seattle as the capital of Washington.
是斯波坎 It's Spokane.
好吧 那美國的第11任總統就成了 Sure, which makes the 11th president of the United States
[正確的應為詹姆斯·波爾克]
詹姆斯·波斯克 "James k. Pslk."
好了 艾麗克斯 別這樣 Okay, Alex, stop.
我正在想呢 I'm trying to figure this out.
嗶嗶 時間到 笨蛋 是奧林匹亞 Buzz. Time's up, dummy. It's Olympia.
記得在表演時喊出那嚇死人的行話哦 Make sure you sound out the big scary words.
媽媽 有件事讓我很苦惱 Mom, something's on my mind, and it's really bothering me.
對啊 也讓我很苦惱 Yeah, it's really bothering me, too,
但我覺得她以后可能會很有錢 But I think it's gonna be rich,
所以我們要對她好一點 so we better be nice to it.
我不想再學魔術了 I wanna quit magic.
什么 What?
我真的沒什么興趣了 I'm not really interested anymore,
但我想爸爸會不高興的 but I don't think dad's gonna be happy.
寶貝 別擔心讓你爸爸失望 Oh, sweetheart. Don't worry about disappointing your father.
他只會希望你去做你真正喜歡的事 He only wants you to do it if you wanna do it.
不如這樣吧 我跟你爸談談 Tell you what. I will talk to dad--
哇 跟老爸談談 一本正經的樣子 Whoa! Talk to dad? That sounds serious.
不許嗑藥 Don't do drugs.
不要逃學 Stay in school.
盧克不想再學魔術了 Luke wants to quit magic.
絕對不行 That's not happening.
晚上見吧 Well, see you guys at dinner.
親愛的 你完全不想談談這事兒嗎 Sweetheart, don't you even want to talk about this?
有什么好談的 我兒子天生就是這塊料 What's to talk about? The kid's a natural.
他天賦異稟 He has everything--
雙手靈活 行話精通 裝備齊全 the hands, the patter, the outfits.
好吧 我們設想一下 Okay, let's play this out.
即使他是萬里挑一的好苗子 Even if he is one in a million,
最好的結果又如何 what's our best case scenario here?
他會變成什么 He becomes, what...
一個專業的魔術師 A professional magician!
親愛的 這孩子就是有這天賦 Honey, the boy has a gift.
你想白白浪費這天賦嗎 You wanna just throw that away?
那才不是什么白白浪費 I don't think it's about throwing it away.
而是你逼著他 I think it's about you pushing him--
我能插兩句話嗎 Don't I get a say in any of this?
很遺憾我不像你那么喜歡魔術 I'm sorry I don't like magic as much as you,
但我真不喜歡 but I don't.
這與魔術無關 This isn't about magic.
確實 而是我的人生你做主 No, it's about my life and you controlling it.
聽著 你許下承諾 就該信守承諾 Look, you made a commitment. You will honor that commitment.
我最討厭這個 Ugh! I hate it here!
盧克 Luke!
好了 年輕的女士們先生們 All right, young ladies and gentlemen,
請聽我說 好嗎 if I can have your attention, please.
大家坐坐好 Let's settle down
跟鄰座的同學和無趣的生活 and let's say a temporary good-bye to your neighbor
暫時告個別 因為時代男高音來了 and to life as you know it, because here comes treble.
沒錯 下面的朋友們 時代最高音 That's right, my friends, we got treble,
就在弗蘭克林中學 Right here at Franklin middle.
我是卡梅隆小T 韻腳是個小G I'm Cameron T., and that rhymes with "G,"
意思就是"古德貓林"[早上好] And that stands for "Good morning"!
請說 就愛有熱情的 Huh? Yes! Love the enthusiasm.
說吧 第一個問題 Go ahead. First question.
納瑪奇老師什么時候回來 When's Mr. Namagachi coming back?
納瑪奇老師不會再回來了 Okay, Mr. Namagachi isn't coming back,
但我想向你們介紹一個人 But there is somebody that I'd like to introduce you to.
不知道你們是否正式見過面了 Don't know that you proy met.
她是我的好朋友 She's a good friend of mine,
她的名字就叫作 "音樂" and she goes by the name of "Music."
有時候我的朋友音樂很羞澀 And sometimes my friend music can be shy.
有時候則充滿了憤怒 Sometimes she can be angry!
有時候又很歡騰 Sometimes she can be playful.
有時候則是非常 時髦[放克樂] And sometimes she can be downright a-funky!
大事不妙 Train wreck.
他肯定沒跟米奇爾商量過要用這招 There's no way he ran this past Mitchell.
大爸通常停在學校的后門 Daddy always parks in the back of the school.
我知道 寶貝 但是 I know, sweetie, but, uh,
那里的停車位都被占了 those spots were all taken.
因為我們遲到了 Because we're late?
不是 我們才晚了一分鐘 是因為堵車 No, we're, like, a minute late, and that's 'cause of traffic.
也因為我摔倒了 And because I tipped over.
你沒系好我的安全座椅 You didn't snap my car seat right.
好吧 那一摔倒是沒把你的記憶摔壞嘛 Okay, well, it certainly didn't hurt your memory any.
給你午餐 All right, here's your lunch.
你弄灑了 You spilled it!
蓋子怎么開著呢 Oh! Why is the top open?
大爸都會替我拉上拉鏈的 Daddy always zips it for me.
或許你該自己拉上 Maybe you should zip it.
我可聽到你的吐槽了 I heard that.
既然還剩幾分鐘時間 So with just a few more minutes left--
-納瑪奇老師 -以前在這里工作 - Mr. Namagachi-- - used to work here,
可他被開除了 明白嗎 but he got fired, okay?
那么 現在 讓我們用 So now let's form an orchestra
我最喜歡的樂器組成樂隊吧 made up of my favorite instruments--
也就是你們美麗的身體 your beautiful bodies.
有點"變態"了 Gettin' creepy.
那么 你們負責拍桌子打節拍 Okay, so you guys are gonna be my, uh, table slappers.
你們是我的低音部 You're my bass line.
而后面這些同學就用嘴模仿小號的旋律 Okay, and you're gonna be mouth trumpeters in the back with the melody.
好的 現在 大家一起來 Okay, now let's bring it all together.
一 二 三 One, two, three.
低音部聲音再柔和一點 The bass line is a little-- a little softer.
模仿小號的聲音再大一些 Okay, louder with the mouth trumpets.
好極了 非常感謝你們 Okay. Great. Well, thank you so much.
我覺得今天棒極了 And, um, I thought it was a great first day.
各位同學 我喜歡與你們互相學習 And I love the give-and-take, everyone.
還有 And, um...
老爸 "西斯科"好玩嗎 Hey, dad. How's Frisco?
我的會議早結束了 My meetings ended early.
我都不用在那兒過夜 I didn't even have to spend the night.
你也別再說"西斯科"了 And don't say "Frisco."
他們不喜歡別人把那里叫做"西斯科" They hate it when you call it "Frisco."
你怎么知道 How do you know what they hate?
你這輩子只去過那里兩次 You've been there two times in your life.
愛咋咋地 我都一星期沒睡覺了 Anyway, I haven't slept in a week.
歌洛莉亞打呼嚕打得跟水牛似的 Gloria's snoring like a water buffalo.
她在懷孕嘛 肯定不舒服 Aw. Well, she's pregnant. It's uncomfortable.
她增肥了多少 15 20 25 30磅嗎 What, she put on 15? 20? 25? 30?
別老問這個了 我要怎么跟她提這件事呢 We're not doing this again. How do I bring it up?
首先 你不要提 Well, for starters, you don't.
老實忍著吧 You suck it up.
老爸 你的辣妻 Dad, your hot wife
在你30歲的時候 她剛學走路 who was learning to walk when you were 30 years old,
現在她懷了你的娃 is pregnant with a baby you conceived
多少男人拼了命想跟她造個娃出來啊 doing something most men would kill to do.
-我就是太累了 -那點小犧牲 - I'm just so tired. - It's a small sacrifice
跟她所遭受的相比不值一提 小可憐 compared to what she's going through. Poor thing,
她增肥了多少磅 30 35 40 45 what with the extra... 30? 35? 40? 45?
夠了 We're done.
好的 開始嘍 這個怎么樣 All right, here we go. How's this?
我們不買這種 That's not the kind we get.
好吧 Okay.
喂 你好 小卡 Hello? Hey, Cam.
又打電話查崗嗎 Just checking in on me again?
是的 就想看看你有沒有接到莉莉 Yeah. Just wanted to see if you got Lily.
接到了 我們剛到 我們在雜貨店 Yeah, we're--we're just-- we're at the grocery store,
正逛得高興呢 having a great time.
是嗎 關于購物清單... Oh. Yeah. Any questions about the...
有什么問題嗎 about the grocery list?
沒有 我們正在買格蘭諾拉燕麥片 No, we're just picking up the granola.
你怎么樣 你的盛大登場如何 So how was it? How was the big debut?
在學校里是不是和孩子們 Was it a comfortable ride around the schoolyard
相處融洽 如魚得水 on the shoulders of the children?
我反正是為人師表了一回 Well, I stood and delivered.
謝謝你冷嘲熱諷的詢問 Thank you for sarcastically asking.
可以 Yeah.
你有沒有給電工打電話說調光器的事 Okay, did you call the electrician about the dimmer?
打了 當然打了 Yes. Yeah.
他現在正在另一條線上等待通話呢 Yeah, I'm on the other line with him right now.
好了 那我大概應該撂電話了 Oh, well, I should probably let you go.
看好莉莉 她特愛亂跑 Keep your eye on Lily. She has a tendency to wander off.
小卡 我 我當然能... Cam... Uh, wh-wh--I'm-- I'm totally capable of...
-你把她弄丟了 是不是 -沒有沒有 - You lost her, didn't you? - No. No, no, no, no.
沒有 她就在我旁邊 嗨 寶貝 No, she is right next to me. Hi, honey.
我能聽出來什么情況 到乳制品柜里找找 I can hear it in your voice. Look in the dairy case.
小卡 你不會真以為我能弄丟... Cam, do you honestly think that I would lose...
那門拉不開 是滑開的 the doors don't pull. They slide.
就當你沒見到過我 You never saw me.
非常感謝 Thank you very much.
我想了想 Look, um, I thought about it,
要是你特別想告別魔術 那就隨你意 and if you really want to, you can quit magic.
只要 你最后做一件事 You just have to do one thing first--
表演"巴特勒逃脫術" execute the Butler's escape.
毫無疑問 巴特勒逃脫術 It goes without saying that the Butler's escape
是逃脫術中最具挑戰性的特技 is one of the most challenging feats of escapology
是魔術師最高等級的表演之一 an illusionist can perform.
此魔術 正是基于 那著名的 It's--it's based, of course, on the well-known story
弗蘭寧伯爵的男仆珀西的故事 of the Earl of Flanning's manservant Percy,
珀西被囚禁在倫敦塔里 who was imprisoned in the Tower of London,
眾所周知 在被銬上枷鎖的時候 and as we all know, refused to take off his uniform
他堅決不脫自己的制服 when he was shackled.
大家都知道 塔上的侍衛格特睡著后 Famously, as the, uh, tower guard Gert slept,
珀西掙脫了枷鎖 悄悄躍過睡著的侍衛 Percy freed himself and leapt over the sleeping guard,
那句著名的俗語就從此而來... giving rise to the popular expression...
"珀西躍過格爾特" "Percy jumped the Gert."
你為什么要我做這個愚蠢的把戲 Why are you making me do this stupid trick?
我覺得你之所以不想學了 I think you're quitting...
是因為魔術難度越來越大 because magic's getting hard,
可是在任何事上 都不該因懼怕困難而退縮 and that's not a good reason for quitting anything.
但是... But...
如果你能成功 if you can do this,
我就知道你是真心不喜歡魔術 then I'll know that you genuinely don't like it,
就算你從事其他愛好 我也祝福你 and you'll have my blessing to pursue other interests.
不帶附加條件 No strings attached.
抱歉 伙計 Sorry, buddy.
真抱歉 I'm so sorry.
你在開玩笑吧 You're kidding, right?
你不會真的喜歡這種三俗劇吧 You cannot really be enjoying that stupid show.
我只不過是換臺時停頓了一下 I was changing channels.
天吶 你最近這么這么刻薄呢 God. Why are you so mean lately?
你遇到什么事了嗎 Is something wrong with you?
有這么明顯嗎 Is it that obvious?
天吶 快來 跟我說說 Oh, my gosh. Come on. You can talk to me.
我學校里有個女同學 她... There's this girl at school, and...
她懷孕了 She got pregnant.
不是吧 No.
是啊 我一直試著幫她 I know. I've been trying to help her,
但由于藥物作用 她聽不進勸 But with all the pills she's taking, she kinda lashes out.
寶貝 你一人面對這樣的事太不容易了 Oh, honey, this is too much for you to take on alone.
-她的家長呢 -他們幫不上忙 - Where are the parents? - They're no help.
她爸爸一心只顧著自己的整容生意 Dad's all consumed with his plastic surgery business,
媽媽以前是模特 正努力發展音樂事業 and her mom's an ex-model who's trying to launch a music career.
這是我剛剛看的電視劇里的劇情吧 You're describing the show I was just watching, right?
我只是想說 時不時讀點書吧 I'm just saying, mix in a book every now and then.
刻薄 刻薄鬼 Mean! Mean!
試著從我的角度看看 Try to see this from my perspective.
我看不了 I can't.
我的兒子不能半途而廢 I'm not raising a quitter.
相信我 我知道什么對你有好處 Trust me. I know what's best for you.
注意控制時間 舞臺表演時 And watch your time. In the stage version,
繩子會被點燃 而你會被懸在釘板上 the rope's on fire, and you're suspended over a bed of nails.
我討厭這把戲 你為什么逼我做這個 I hate this! Why are you making me do this?
化憤怒為力量 盧吉尼 Use that anger, Lukini.
將它變為打開恐懼之門的鑰匙 Let it be the key that opens the vault of fear...
那里面有希望之杯 that holds the chalice of hope
杯里盛著成功的靈丹妙藥 that contains the elixir of success.
短短幾分鐘后... In a few short minutes...
我的神啊 你成功了 Son of Alkazeel! You've done it!
我不干了 I quit.
第一天怎么樣 快跟我說說 So how was your first day? Tell me everything.
你懂的 我備受喜愛 Well, you know, it was a lovefest.
孩子們 他們 你知道吧... And the kids-- they were, you know, and...
那是烤肉嗎 Is that a roast?
是的 我很驚訝你居然可以聞出來 W--yes. Yes. But I'm surprised you could smell it over the
畢竟有黃胡椒濃湯 配油煎干酪面包塊的混合 no-dairy yellow pepper bisque with cheesy croutons.
哇 你還能騰出時間烤肉又煲湯 Oh, wow. You had time to do a roast and soup.
-爹地好 -你好 我的天使 - Hi, daddy! - Hi, angel!
你好嗎 有沒有想爸爸 How are you? Did you miss daddy?
哇 洗了澡還梳好了辮子 Wow. Bathed and braided.
是啊 我來把燈光調得柔和些 Yeah. Let me just put you in a more flattering light here.
調光器 The dimmer.
你叫誰來修的 Who'd you call?
我叫了我自己 我修的 I called myself 'cause I did it.
對 買完給吉奧的禮物后我還有些時間 Yeah, I had time after picking up Gio's present,
所以就...把禮物拿來給爸爸看看 so, uh... Go show daddy what it is.
-好 -乖 - Okay. - Yeah.
聽起來你這一天過得充實又高效 It sounds like you had a pretty successful day yourself.
只是有條理些罷了 Well, it's just a matter of being organized.
但我這是班門弄斧呀 But who am I telling, huh?
你每天都是這么高效 You do this sort of stuff every day.
吹一下 Oh, blow on that.
再跟我說說孩子們的事吧 So tell me more about the kids.
就和我想象的一樣 Well, it was as I predicted, you know.
他們需要的是個 They just needed somebody to come in there
能讓音樂恢復生機的老師 and bring music back to life.
而且 那個人就是... And, you know, that person was...
那個人就是... that person was...
不是我 It's not me!
出什么事了 What's happening?
糟糕透了 米奇爾 It was a disaster, Mitchell.
他們討厭我 They hated me!
不只是孩子們 老師們也是 Not just the kids, the teachers.
午飯時他們都不和我一起坐 They wouldn't sit with me at lunch.
我只得自己一個人吃 I had to sit alone.
親愛的不哭 Oh, honey.
還有我的運動衫 手工老師把橘汁灑上面了 And my sweater--the shop teacher spilled juice on it.
他說是不小心的 但我知道他是故意的 He said it was an accident, but it wasn't an accident.
-沒關系的 -有關系 - It's okay - It's not okay!
我全搞砸了 I failed miserably.
你看你 你把所有的事都做的井井有條 And look at you. You did everything so perfectly.
那倒是 Well, yes.
也不是 And--and--and no.
其實...實話跟你說吧 Look, look, I... I gotta tell ya.
我一直用心觀察 Uh... I've just been watching
多年來你做事情的方法 how you've done things all these years,
然后我稍加完善了一下 and I just perfected it.
-拜托 米奇爾 -克萊爾... - Oh, please, Mitchell! - Claire...
小卡 他跟你一樣失敗得一塌糊涂 Cam, he was every bit the failure you are.
他沒按時接莉莉 她只好被保育員看管 He was late picking up Lily. She was in with the custodians.
晚飯也不是他做的 更離譜的是 The only thing he had less to do with than dinner
調光器他壓根就沒碰 was the dimmer.
莉莉漂亮的小辮 是他用口香糖粘的 And her hair was in braids because there was gum in it.
另外...你們為什么擁抱 And... why are we hugging?
因為我知道如果他求你幫忙 Because I know if he called you for help
一定忍受了許多諷刺和辱罵 and heard as many insults as I know he had to hear,
那么他這天過得比我還糟 then he had a worse day than me.
她好可怕 小卡 Oh, she was horrible, Cam.
-沒事的 一切都會好的 -不 我知道 - You know what? It's gonna get better. - No, I know.
我們只是需要時間來適應我們的新角色 We just need some time to settle into these new roles.
你讓我降低期望值真是太對了 You were right to lower my expectations.
應該降低期望值的是我 I just wish I had lowered mine.
你們不打算跟我道個謝嗎 女士們 This gonna work its way around to a "Thank you," Ladies?
嘿 寶貝 Hey, honey.
驚喜吧 我到舊金山了 Surprise! I'm in San Francisco!
什么 What?
我把曼尼放朋友家了 我知道這很瘋狂 I dropped Manny at a friend's and, I know it's crazy,
但我趕上了一班飛機就飛來啦 but I hopped on a plane and I'm here!
現在正往酒店去 I'm driving to the hotel.
那太棒了 That is so great.
可是寶貝 我現不在酒店里 The thing is, honey, I'm not here right now.
我正在外面吃晚飯 See, I'm, uh, I'm out at dinner.
暫時趕不回來 Probably won't be back for, um...
可能得幾個小時吧 Oh, I don't know. A couple of hours.
沒關系 人家等著你 It's okay. I'll wait for you there.
別傻了 多難得來一趟舊金山啊 Don't be silly. How often do you get to san francisco?
那里有很多地方可以參觀 There's so much to see there.
我是說"這里" I mean, here.
吉拉德里廣場 漁人碼頭 Ghirardelli square? Fisherman's wharf?
惡魔島也不錯 對了 去報個賽格威團吧 Alcatraz? Hey, take that segway tour.
可以飽覽城市美景 That's a great way to see the city.
喝海鮮雜燴濃湯時 And when you get the chowder,
一定要用"面包碗" Make sure it one of those bread bowls.
喝完湯可以把碗吃了 You can eat the bowl.
對了 你以后都可以拿這事兒當美談了 Yeah, it's a story you'll tell for a lifetime.
話說 待會兒 You know what? Later on...
[美國著名魔術師]
我們可以看一些蘭斯·伯頓的光碟 Maybe we can watch some of your Lance Burton DVDs.
謝謝 我就是想嘗試一下逃脫術 Thanks. I think I just wanna try this escape.
能幫我把手臂這兒弄緊點嗎 Would you mind tightening my arms?
當然 來 Oh. Sure. Here.
我心里挺不好受的 It's just hard, you know?
他這是第一次對我的愛好不感興趣 It's the first time he hasn't shared one of my interests.
我們父子要是從此有隔閡了可怎么辦 It's scary to think that this is the start of us growing apart.
親愛的 沒準這只是暫時的 Oh, honey, it's probably just a phase.
倒是艾麗克斯最近有點兒問題 Alex is going through something right now.
我得想想辦法解決她的問題 I wish I could figure that out.
-我喘不過氣了 -焦慮啊 - I can't breathe. - Anxiety.
不不 我在努力掙脫枷鎖衫 No, no, I'm--I'm fighting the jacket.
逃脫的關鍵就是要受力平衡 The key to this escape is balance.
反作用力是整個逃脫術的突破點 The whole thing is based on the idea of opposing forces.
控制兩邊的力量 Holding each other in check.
說得有點道理 That actually makes some sense.
有"點"道理 Some sense?
世上有兩件事是我百分百確定的 There are two things I know with dead certainty--
一是如何掙脫開疊羅漢 How to shoulder roll out of a human pyramid,
二是破解"巴特勒逃脫術" and the black arts of the Butler's escape.
不 親愛的 我們家失去平衡了 No, honey, our house is out of balance,
因為艾麗克斯失去"反向作用力"了 because Alex is missing her opposing force.
對吧 我好聰明 Mm? Yeah.
你錯失了大好機會 Oh. Y-you're missing out.
有人說此魔術是場視覺盛宴 Some people describe this escape as visual poetry.
親愛的 Honey?
完了 oh, no.
歌洛莉亞 Gloria.
你說你在西斯科 You told me that you were in Frisco,
但卻在酒店被我抓了個正著 and you were here in a hotel?
我就說一點 Let me just say one thing.
別說"西斯科" 當地人不愛聽 Don't say "Frisco." They hate that.
你怎么找到我的 And how the hell did you find me?
家里最近有點小噪音 The house has been a little noisy lately.
學校圖書館又像個勾搭妹子的炮點 And the school library is a pickup scene.
一個渴望安靜祥和之地的孩子能去哪兒呢 So where does a kid go for some peace and quiet?
告訴我你是不是有外遇了 Tell me right now if you're having an affair,
待會兒我再找時間抽死你 and we will find some time later for me to kill you.
不是的 我只是想遠離你的鼾聲一晚 No. I'm just trying to have one night away from your snoring.
你來酒店開房是為了睡覺 You came to a hotel to sleep?
我精疲力盡了 我不想說出來讓你難過 I'm exhausted, and I didn't want to hurt your feelings,
但你身軀龐大而且又吵 but you're huge and you're loud.
[著名脫口秀主持人 身軀肥胖臃腫]
我就好像和拉什·林博同床一樣 It's like sleeping with Rush Limbaugh.
我不想說這事 是因為我覺得 And I didn't want to bring it up because I figured
你會像生曼尼的氣那樣 生我的氣 you'd get mad at me the way you got mad at Manny.
我生氣不是因為你說我打鼾 I am not mad at you because you told me that I snore.
我生氣是因為你什么也沒說 I am mad at you because you didn't say anything.
因為我不想被你罵 'cause I didn't want to get yelled at.
太遺憾了 Well, too bad.
你娶了我 When you're married to me,
就得準備好被罵個夠 you're going to get yelled at many times.
而且你堅強到完全可以接受 And you're tough enough to take it.
我就是喜歡咱們婚姻的這點 That's what I love about our marriage.
我們可以暢所欲言 We can say whatever we want,
但說完以后 誰也不會放在心中 but the next day, we're still there.
我也喜歡這點 That's what I like about it, too.
看來我說什么你都能原諒我啊 What am I gonna say you couldn't forgive me?
也有不可原諒的 杰 There are things, Jay.
可以走了嗎 You ready to go?
我在想 開了房不用 I was thinking, it's such a shame
實在是太可惜了 that this hotel room is going to go to waste.
我喜歡這事的發展方向 I like where this is headed.
給曼尼做點意面 我們明早見了 Make Manny some pasta. I'll see you tomorrow morning, okay?
嘿 爸 Hey, dad.
嘿 小老弟 Hey, buddy.
聽我說 我很抱歉我... Look, I-I'm sorry if I--
別這樣 不用道歉 No no no, don't apologize.
我們可以一起做很多其他事 There's still plenty of stuff we can do together.
所以如果你想退出 So if you want out,
你就退"出"吧 you are... Out!
我知道我們買了很多魔術用具 Uh, I know we bought a lot of magic stuff,
但是可以退回去一些 but we can return some of it--
巫師帽 手套 大部分的披風 Merlin's hat, the gloves, most of the capes.
魔術大師手杖呢 What about houdini's wands?
弄斷了 They kinda got broken.
三支全斷了嗎 怎么了 All three? What happened?
我買的是碳纖維材質的 I got you carbon fiber.
在學校有些同學拿來開玩笑 Some kids were messing around with them at school.
什么意思 他們做了什么 What do you mean? What--what were they doing?
我真心不想說這事兒 I don't really want to talk about it.
這種事我也經歷過 You know, I went through that,
同學們拿我的東西開玩笑 kids--kids messing with my stuff.
-真的嗎 -對 高中時 - Really? - Oh, yeah. In high school,
我第一次提名參加低年級翻筋斗大賽 When I first got nominated for junior tumbling congress,
我父母要簽同意書[釋放] my parents had to sign a... release!
總之 我哥們兒暈乎布雷迪 Anyway, my buddy dizzy Brindizzi
看到了 搶過去 猛開我的玩笑 saw it, grabbed it, and made a lot of fun of me.
我就想著不去了 I thought about not going.
但你去了 But you did.
是啊 可爽了 Oh, yeah. Had a blast.
交了很多朋友 Made a lot of friends,
與不止一位女筋斗運動員分享奶昔 shared milkshakes with more than one female tumbler.
我不再在乎其他人想法 The minute I stopped caring what other people thought
開始做自己想做的事情那一刻 就是 and started doing what I wanted to do, is the minute
我終于感覺到"自由"的那一刻 I finally felt... Free!
小老弟 Buddy...
你自己做決定吧 You're gonna make your own choices,
無論你的決定是什么 我永遠會支持你 and whatever you decide, I'll always support you.
你說這些不是因為你脫不了身 有求于我吧 You're not just saying all this 'cause you're stuck, right?
你做的任何決定都不會令我失望 Nothing you decide will ever disappoint me.
多謝了 爸 Thanks, dad.
胳膊放松 Relax your arms,
肩膀朝前 roll your shoulders forward,
低下頭 bend down your head,
呼氣 exhale...
然后拱背 And then arch.
還算管用 Uh... It sorta worked.
寶貝 我只是想看看你問個好 Well, honey, I just wanted to check in and say hi.
艾麗克斯 過來跟你姐打個招呼 Alex, come say hi to your sister!
我好愛你 I love you so much.
咋滴了 小姐 What's up, lady?
我的天 你怎么能說"咋滴了 小姐" Oh, my god. You did not just say, "What's up, lady?"
你什么毛病啊 What's wrong with you?
我只是問好 I was just saying hello--
那是你說過的最白癡的話 Oh, it's like the lamest thing you've ever said.
你這衣服算什么 And what is that shirt?
你是20年代的摩登女郎嗎 What are you, a flapper?
我買的那家店可是你... I just bought it at that store that you--
哪家店 "永遠的1921"嗎 Oh, where? Forever 1921?
而且你頭發是怎么回事 And what is going on with your hair?
我的頭發又怎么了 What's wrong with my hair?
你干脆把自己在"驅男劑"里蘸蘸好了 Oh, you should just dip yourself in boy repellent.
閉嘴 媽 Shut up! Mom!
平衡 And balance...
恢復了 is restored.