我们现在对朝鲜的敌对国家。 We now turn to theabchostile nation of North Korea.
他们正在测试的火箭被认为是足够大 The rocket they are testingabcis believed to be big enough
到达海岸的美国西部。 to reach the West Coastabcof the United States.
今天，联合国官员 Today, an officialabcof the United Nations
试图告诉世界......所以不会有错... tried to tell the world...abcSo there will be no mistake...
我们生活在一个现代希特勒之中。 That we are living in the midstabcof a modern-day Hitler.
一位年轻的，未经检验的领导人核野心。 A young, untested leaderabcwith nuclear ambition.
- 金正恩。 - 金正恩。 - Kim Jong-un.abc- Kim Jong-un.
我们谈论的是金正恩。 We are talkingabcabout Kim Jong-un.
晚上好！ Good evening.
我戴夫云雀。 I'm Dave Skylark.
今晚，我们被13次格莱美奖得主加盟， Tonight, we are joinedabcby 13-time Grammy winner,
奥斯卡获奖作曲家， Oscar-winning songwriter,
底特律自己的阿姆。 Detroit's own Eminem.
他会与我们讲述他的新专辑， He'll speak with usabcabout his new album,
已陷入争议 which has been miredabcin controversy
歌词方面，一些观点作为贬低长者。 concerning lyrics that some viewabcas demeaning to the elderly.
今夜... Tonight...
在“云雀今晚。” on "Skylark Tonight."
和...的行动。 And... action.
“这是地狱是黑幕。 "It's hell to be Shady.
“昨天我大喊有辱人格的侮辱 "Yesterday I yelledabca degrading insult
“在一位老妇人。 "at an elderly lady.
“然后我问她感觉如何是80。 "Then I asked herabchow it felt to be 80.
“'F'字一个老人。 "'F' word a senior citizen.
吸了维纳，坐着旋转“。 Suck a wiener, sit and spin."
“吸了维纳，坐着旋转。” "Suck a wiener, sit and spin."
说来也真逗。 It's funny.
“为什么你开这么慢？ "And why you driveabcso slow for?
“难道你不想让你要去哪里更快 "Don't you want to getabcwhere you're going faster
“因为你可能会死在明天，你这个老妓女？ "since you'll probably dieabctomorrow, you old whore?
“模具，老娘们，模具， "Die, old bitch, die,
之前，我杀了你。“ before I murder you."
你说的这个，EM是什么意思？ What do you mean by this, Em?
好吧，首先，我觉得，当我说唱， Well, first of all,abcI feel like, when I rap,
就像人们曲解我的话。 like, people twist my words.
好吧，但你能看到 Okay, but can you see
如何将老的人可能会说，“我认为 how an old personabcmight say, "I think
“这家伙告诉我...这...阿姆是我应该 "what this guy is telling me...abcthis Eminem... is that I should
去杀掉自己，我......你知道的，我不喜欢这样。“ go kill myself, and I...abcyou know, I don't like that."
我的意思是，我不 I mean, I don't
不一定说唱，我讨厌的东西。 necessarily rap aboutabcthe things that I hate.
它更多的是......我害怕的事情。 It's more about...abcthe things that I fear.
- 我得到你。 - 你知道，这就像， - I get you.abc- You know, it's like,
- 如果我说了一些关于女性或任何... - 是的。 - if I say something about womenabcor whatever... -Yes.
我觉得很多是或多或少我 I think a lot of thatabcis more or less me
刚刚处理与问题... just dealing with issues with...
你知道的，老的问题跟我妈或什么的。 you know, old issuesabcwith my mom or whatever.
你的“穆萨”。 With your "mutha."
是啊，或者，或者......你知道， Yeah, or-or... you know,
当我说的同性恋人的事 when I say thingsabcabout gay people
或者有人认为我的歌词是同性恋， or people think thatabcmy lyrics are homophobic,
- 嗯，嗯。 - 你知道，那是因为我是同性恋。 - Mm-hmm.abc- You know, it's because I'm gay.
嗯，当我说唱暴力 Um, when I rap about violence
- 等待... - 或者，你知道的，听起来像我宣扬暴力， - Wait... -or, you know, soundabclike I'm promoting violence,
我觉得，呃...你知道， I think that, uh... you know,
- 这或多或少是因为... - 什么？ - 什么，什么，什么？ - it's more or less because...abc- What? -What, what, what?
你知道，种它......它是一种对我而已， You know, it's kind of...abcit's kind of about me just,
你知道，面对它。 you know, confronting it.
- 他刚??才说什么？ - 等一下，我们可以发挥这...？ - What did he just say?abc- Wait, can we play that...?
- 他说他是同性恋。 - 难道他只是......？戴夫？戴夫？ - He said he was gay.abc- Did he just...? Dave? Dave?
- 他刚??才说他是同性恋？ - 我们可以肯定 - Did he just say he was gay?abc- We're pretty sure
在展台我们只是听他说他是同性恋。 in the booth we just heard himabcsay he was gay.
他们，我们只是......其备份了一下。 Em, let's just...abcback it up a moment.
你...刚才说 You... just said
你是同性恋吗？ that you were gay?
嗯...我只是好奇 Um... and I'm just curious
你所说的那个意思完全相同。 what you meantabcby that exactly.
我的意思是我是同性恋。 I mean I'm gay.
呃，我只是有点困惑在这里，因为“同性恋” Uh, I'm just a littleabcconfused here, because "gay"
可能意味着很多东西。 can mean a lot of things.
我是一个同性恋者。 I am a homosexual.
意思是......？ Meaning...?
我喜欢男人。 I like men.
刚刚发生了什么他妈的？ What the fuck just happened?
阿姆只说他是同性恋......四倍。 Eminem just saidabche was gay... four times.
这是什么他妈的刚才发生。 That's what the fuckabcjust happened.
- 神圣的狗屎。 - 神圣的狗屎。 - Holy shit.abc- Holy shit.
阿姆的同志对我们的节目。 Eminem's gay on our show.
- 阿姆对我们的节目同性恋！ - 哦，我的上帝！ - Eminem's gay on our show!abc- Oh, my God!
摄像头2！摄像头2！ Camera two! Camera two!
盖伊的Twitter！盖伊Twitter的吹了起来。 Gay Twitter!abcGay Twitter's blowing up.
- 神圣的狗屎。 - 改变的Chyron。 - Holy shit.abc- Change the chyron.
“阿姆同性恋？”问号，感叹号。 "Eminem Gay?!"abcQuestion mark, exclamation mark.
戴夫，让他说话。让他说话。 Dave, keep him talking.abcKeep him talking.
- 哦，我的上帝。 -Holy狗屎。按下按键同性恋阿姆！ - Oh, my God. -Holy shit.abcPush in on gay Eminem!
这是同性恋历史上最伟大的时刻！ This is the greatest momentabcin gay history!
......都可能是你在说什么，现在感到震惊。 ...are probably shocked by whatabcyou're saying right now.
我更震惊的是，人们还没有想通出来呢。 I'm more shocked that peopleabchaven't figured it out yet.
我的意思是，这有点像我一直在玩同性恋躲猫猫。 I mean, it's kind of likeabcI've been playing gay peekaboo.
盖伊躲猫猫。 Gay peekaboo.
是啊。但是，嗯... Yeah. But, um...
妈的。相机之一。相机之一。 Shit.abcCamera one. Camera one.
- 这次采访已经结束了。关闭它。 - 不！ - This interview is over.abcShut it off. -No!
- 关闭它。 - 获得了他妈的离开这里，达里尔。 - Shut it off. -Get the fuckabcout of here, Darryl.
我是马歇尔的公关，我告诉你， I am Marshall's publicist,abcand I'm telling you,
- 拔插头他妈的现在。 -No。这是金。 - pull the fucking plugabcright now. -No. This is gold.
我不割这次面试关。 I am not cuttingabcthis interview off.
这是我们做过的最好的采访。 This is the best interviewabcwe've ever done.
- 如果我只是这样做，会发生什么？ - 不，全身而退。 - What happens if I just do this?abc- No, get out.
关闭它！关闭它！ Shut it off! Shut it off!
让他离开这里！让他他妈的离开这里！ Get him out of here!abcGet him the fuck out of here!
我会杀了你，每个人都爱你！ I will murder youabcand everyone you love!
谢谢。戴夫，你看，我得到了歌词。 Thank you.abcDave, look, I got the lyrics.
说什么我说： Say what I say:
什么，当你敲击你的意思是...... What did you meanabcwhen you rapped...
“我说好的直肠，我有一个......” "I said nice rectum, I had a..."
“......输精管结扎术，赫克托。 "...vasectomy, Hector.
“所以，你不能怀孕 "So you can't get pregnant
如果我破坏阴阳人雅。“ if I bisexually wreck ya."
我已经差不多刚刚离开... I've pretty muchabcjust been leaving a...
gayness面包屑的踪迹。 bread-crumb trail of gayness.
- 我现在看到。 - 你知道。 - I see that now.abc- You know.
但是，是的，其实赫... But yeah, actually Hector...
赫克托是......是一个真正的人。 Hector was a...abcwas a real person.
赫克托和他的直肠是真实的？ Hector and his rectum were real?
- 神圣的狗屎。 - 它真实的！赫克托直肠是真实的！ - Holy shit. -It's real!abcHector rectum is real!
- 是的！是的！哦，我知道了！ - 阿姆，大家好！ - Yes! Yes! -Oh, I knew it!abc- Slim Shady, everyone!
好家伙！好家伙！ Dude! Dude!
亚伦，在把它。 Aaron, bring it in.
- 哦，我的上帝。哦，我的上帝。 - 把它在，大男孩！ - Oh, my God. Oh, my God.abc- Bring it in, big boy!
哦，我的上帝... Oh, my God...
- 哦...！ - 哦，我的上帝！ - Oh...!abc- Oh, my God!
到底发生了什么事？ What the heck just happened?
真正的阿姆刚站起来。 The real Slim Shadyabcjust stood up.
哦！ - 那是什么他妈的刚才发生的事情。 Oh! -That's what the fuckabcjust happened.
这就好比斯派克·李刚才说他是白色的。 This is like Spike Leeabcjust said he's white.
我简直不敢相信发生了什么事。 I can't believe what's happened.
- 你达人！你达人！ - 你达人！ - You da man! You da man!abc- You da man!
你是最棒的。 You're the best.
你是最棒的。你是最棒的。 You're the best.abcYou're the best.
- 虚幻。 - 所有权利，倾听，我要去把我的化妆了。 - Unreal. -All right, listen,abcI'm gonna go get my makeup off.
我想让你见见我的楼下。 I want you to meet meabcdownstairs.
我有东西给你看。 I got something to show you.
纨绔子弟，只是......我们要去哪里？ Dude, just...abcwhere are we going?
我以为我们会在汉普顿周末，男人。 I thought we were going to theabcHamptons for the weekend, man.
- 不，不，不，不，不，不...... - 这是什么地方？ - No, no, no, no, no, no...abc- What is this place?
我们只是，你知道...只是挂出。 We're just, you know...abcjust hanging out.
- 好。 - 所有没事，没事，没事。 - Okay. -All right,abcall right, all right.
这是一个惊喜派对......你。 It's a surprise party... for you.
什么？为什么呢？你为什么要告诉我吗？ What? Why? Why did youabcjust tell me that?
是的！我......因为我太激动了。 Yes! I...abc'Cause I'm so excited.
这会是很大的。这会是很大的。 This is gonna be great.abcThis is gonna be great.
我不明白发生了什么。 I don't understandabcwhat's happening.
惊喜！ Surprise!
没事，没事。我已经告诉他了。 All right, all right.abcI already told him.
我已经告诉他了。来吧，来吧。 I already told him.abcCome on, come on.
你是世界上最好的，你他妈的口交。 You're best in the world,abcyou fucking cocksucker.
好吧，现在不行，马尔科姆。不是现在，不是现在。来吧。 All right, not now, Malcolm.abcNot now, not now. Come on.
- 来吧。 -谢谢。为什么...为什么会这样？ - Come on. -Thank you.abcWhy... why is this happening?
你已经与我们 You've been with us
1000发作。 for 1,000 episodes.
- 你在开玩笑吧？ - 十多年来，宝贝！ - Are you kidding me?abc- Ten years, baby!
- 你他妈的... - 来吧。 - Are you fucking...abc- Come on.
我是认真的。这是，呃...我很感激。 I really do. It's, uh...abcI appreciate it.
- 好吧。 - 好。 - All right.abc- Okay.
好了，现在， All right, now,
我知道，我想保持它轻，保持它的乐趣。 I know I likeabcto keep it light, keep it fun.
我要去把它带到一个严重的提示。 I'm gonna take itabcto a serious tip.
我对阿龙会说话。 I'm gonna talk about Aaron.
在我们开始一起工作， Before we startedabcworking together,
我的节目勉强打破了前15名。 my show barely broke the top 15.
于是我打电话给这位教授的工作 So I called upabcthis professor that worked
在哥伦比亚大学新闻学院，我... at the Columbia Schoolabcof Journalism that I...
我做爱，我说， I was having sex with,abcand I said,
“我需要一个人比任何人都更聪明的娱乐。 "I need someone smarterabcthan anyone in entertainment.
我需要一个真正的记者。“ I need a real journalist."
阿龙，你是山姆·詹吉 Aaron, you areabcthe Samwise Gamgee
我的佛罗多。 to my Frodo Baggins.
你是甘道夫我的比尔博·巴金斯。 You are the Gandalfabcto my Bilbo Baggins.
但是，所有的戒指引用，我可以做的主， But of all the Lord of the Ringsabcreferences that I could make,
这是最重要的： this is the most important:
我咕噜... I'm Gollum...
...你是我的宝贝。 ...and you're my precious.
Smeagol需要亚伦。 Smeagol needs Aaron.
“一环统治他们， "One Ring to rule them all,
在黑暗约束他们。“ and in the darknessabcbind them."
现在，起床了！起床了！ Now, get up here!abcGet up here!
- 来了这里，哥们。我爱你。 -好。好。好。 - Come up here, buddy.abcI love you. -Okay. Okay. Okay.
- 我他妈的爱你。 - 哦... - I fucking love you.abc- Oh...
嘿。 Hey.
嘿！ Hey!
嘿。 Hey.
是啊。喜欢，那是什么？ Yeah. Like, what's that?
来吧，伙计。发生了什么？ Come on, man.abcWhat's happening?
- 哎，是啊。 - 哎，是啊。 - Hey, yeah.abc- Hey, yeah.
- 瓦 - 这是怎么回事？ - 怎么样了，老兄？ - Wh-What's happening?abc- How's it going, dude?
我们还没有看到对方，因为毕业，对吗？ We haven't seen each otherabcsince graduation, right?
- 是啊。也许吧。 - 哇。而且，呃... - Yeah. Probably.abc- Wow. And, uh...
等待。难道我错了吗？你一样，一... Wait. Am I wrong?abcAre you, like, a...
你对“60分钟”，右一个初级生产商？ you're a junior producerabcon "60 Minutes," right?
我现在是一名资深制片人。 I'm now a senior producer.
- 没办法，男人。 - 是啊。是啊。 - No way, man.abc- Yeah. Yeah.
- 这是真棒。 - 谢谢。 - That's awesome.abc- Thank you.
看着我们......都为电视制作的新闻。 Look at us... both producing newsabcfor television.
带了 Yeah.
- 那是什么？ - 什么也没有。 - What was that?abc- Nothing.
这显然??是东西。什么是笑话？ It was clearly something.abcWhat's the joke?
不，我的意思是一样，你有你的工作， No, I mean, like,abcyou've got your job,
我有我的，但他们不同，你知道吗？ I got mine, but they'reabcdifferent, you know?
你很酷;煤矿只是 Yours is cool; mine's just
更严重的一点，你知道吗？ a little bit more serious,abcyou know?
你在说什么？我们有相同的工作。 What are you saying?abcWe have the same job.
我报道真实新闻......你知道，东西的事项？ I report real news...abcyou know, stuff that matters...
然后你所有的清凉报告 and then you reportabcon all the cool
“谁是获得新的胸部”，像， "who's getting new boobs"abcand, like,
有趣的饮食失调的东西。 the fun eating disorder stuff.
你真的帮了打造“60分钟”，对吧？ You really helped build upabc"60 Minutes," too, right?
他们会什么没有你。 They'd be nothing without you.
它只有在80年他妈的。 It's only been onabcfor 80 fucking years.
你看，我...对不起。 Look, I... I'm sorry.
对不起......看......我不应该这样说， I'm sorry... look...abcI shouldn't say this,
但我们得到了一个开放过的“60分钟” but we got an openingabcover at "60 Minutes,"
我们可以用你这样的人。 and we could useabcsomebody like you.
你说真的？ Are you serious?
我他妈的跟你的男人。来吧！你呢？ I'm fucking with you, man.abcCome on! You?
在我工作的地方？你会在我们的办公室被活活吃掉。 At where I work? You'd beabceaten alive at our office.
好吧，我要赶上这些家伙， Okay, I'm gonna catch upabcwith these guys,
但欢呼声，人。 but cheers, man.
恭喜...或什么的。 Congrats... or whatever.
没有头发的时候开始去？ When did the hair begin to go?
我想说... I would say...
围绕“局外人”。 around "The Outsiders."
当你准备好了。 When you're ready.
我不认为我会永远做好准备，但是... I don't think I'll everabcbe ready, but...
- 哦，假发的脱落。 - 哦。 - Oh, wig's coming off.abc- Oh.
哇！ Whoa.
哦，耶稣他妈的。 Oh, Jesus fuck.
为什么他不断长个？ Why does he keepabcthe long pieces?
他的头看起来像某人的污点。 His head looks likeabcsomebody's taint.
- 你几乎不看不同的。 - 谢谢，伙计。 - You barely look different.abc- Thanks, man.
你......你说你是秃头。 You... you said you were bald.
我......我看到上面一点点的东西。 I... I see a little stuffabcon top.
- 它是如此释放！ - 罗布... - It's so freeing!abc- Rob...
有什么，你还想说美国吗？ is there anything that you wouldabclike to say to America?
晚上好！ Good evening.
我菲利普·斯特灵 I'm Phillip Sterling
与瑞银新闻特别报道。 with a UBS News Special Report.
哇，哇，哇。 Whoa, whoa, whoa.
金正恩的军队 Kim Jong-un's military forces
针对一个无人居住的南太平洋岛国 targeted an uninhabitedabcSouth Pacific island
有15百万吨级热核洲际弹道导弹。 with a 15-megatonabcthermonuclear ICBM.
哟，戴夫，我们不住了。 Yo, Dave, we're notabclive anymore.
- 他们只是削减我们的饲料。 - 我们是停播？ - They just cut our feed.abc- We're off the air?
该死的！罗布，你只是把你他妈的假发？ Goddamn it! Rob, would you justabcput your fucking wig on?
他们在性交我们！该死的！ They fucked us! Goddamn it!
有人告诉我，这是怎么回事？ Somebody tell meabcwhat's going on?
纨绔子弟...严重的是，是什么了吗？ Dude... seriously,abcwhat is up with you?
你知道我是如何善于拿起能量？ You know how I'm goodabcat picking up energies?
好吧，你拍摄过一个稍微cunty盛传现在。 Well, you're shooting off aabcslightly cunty vibe right now.
怎么回事? What's going on?
每天晚上我们有百万观众 We have millionsabcof viewers every night
看我们的节目，和我们怎么办？ watching our show,abcand what do we do?
我们刚刚铲狗屎变成他们的脸，男人。 We just shovel shitabcinto their faces, man.
我们可以做一些积极的。 We could be doingabcsomething positive.
我们可以在有作家，活动家，政治家。 We could be having on authors,abcactivists, politicians.
这就是人们想要的。 “给我们一些狗屎。 That's what people want.abc"Give us some shit.
“曼吉亚。我们是人，给我们的狗屎。 "Mangia. We're the people.abcGive us the shit.
曼吉亚，曼吉亚，曼吉亚。“ Mangia, mangia, mangia."
伙计，我想包括实际的新闻，不是本站Minaj的阴道 Dude, I wanted to cover actualabcnews, not Nicki Minaj's vagina
他妈的'扑腾出来的格莱美奖。 fuckin' flopping outabcat the Grammys.
你不喜欢红糖？ You don't likeabcthat brown sugar?
无关，与红糖。 Nothing to doabcwith brown sugar.
我不能继续这样做，好吗？ I just can't keepabcdoing this, okay?
我们必须改变。 We have to change.
- 精细。 - 你是认真的，现在呢？ - Fine.abc- Are you serious right now?
- 是啊。 - 你保证你会这么做吗？ - Yeah.abc- Do you promise you'll do this?
我保证，如果你答应，你永远不会离开。 I promise if you promiseabcyou'll never leave.
如果你答应，那我就答应了。 If you promise,abcthen I'll promise.
- 好吧，那么，同样的时间。 - 一二三。 - Well, then, same time.abc- One, two, three.
- 承诺。 - 承诺。 - Promise.abc- Promise.
- 好。 - 好。 - Okay.abc- Okay.
这就是我们说的话。 That's all we had to say.
- 精细。 - 不要让我通过。 - Fine.abc- Don't put me through that.
- 好。 - 我讨厌它，当我们打。 - Okay.abc- I hate it when we fight.
不，这不是开玩笑，好吗？ No, this is not a joke, okay?
嗯，我觉得你是那种居高临下。 Well, I think you're beingabckind of condescending.
- 看！看，看，看... - 什么？是啊...一秒。 - Look! Look, look, look...abc- What? Yeah... one second.
住口。我在手机上。 Shut up. I'm on the phone.
好？呃... Okay? Uh...
好家伙，什么他妈的，男人？这是约翰·克里的办公室。 Dude, what the fuck, man?abcThat was John Kerry's office.
忘记橡树前瞻性他妈的。 Forget thatabcoak-tree-looking fuck.
这上衣吧。 “纽约时报”印刷之 This tops it.abc"The Times" printed it
关于...关于朝鲜。阅读底部。 about... about North Korea.abcRead the bottom.
毕竟......在死亡集中营狗屎。 After all the...abcthe death camp shit.
“虽然金正恩逢高他的人 "Although Kim Jong-unabcrallies his people
“随着一声声的破坏 "with cries for the destruction
美利坚合众国的“，他被称为 "of the United Statesabcof America, he is known
“是美国娱乐的忠实消费者。 "to be an avid consumerabcof American entertainment.
他最喜欢的节目是“大爆炸理论......'” His favorite showsabcare 'The Big Bang Theory...'"
然后呢...？ And...?
“......和”云雀今晚。“ "...and 'Skylark Tonight.'"
哦！轰！ Oh! Boom!
这是伟大的！ This is great!
这是你在??说什么。 This is what youabcwere talking about.
我采访这个家伙。 I interview this guy.
你在开玩笑我的人吗？他是最 Are you joking me, man?abcHe's the most
领导者隐居在这个星球上。 reclusive leader on the planet.
它不是要发生的事。 It's not gonna happen.
他生活在朝鲜。我们不能去那里。 He lives in North Korea.abcWe can't go there.
戴夫云雀......得到的任何地方。 Dave Skylark...abcgets in anywhere.
你还记得那个俱乐部？ You remember that club?
三个月的等待名单。 Three-month waiting list.
第一个晚上。 First night.
我不认为这是完全一样的事情。 I don't think it'sabcquite the same thing.
好了，有很多亚洲女孩在那里。 Well, there were a lotabcof Asian girls there.
这是不可能的，戴夫。 It's impossible, Dave.
下面是我们该怎么办。 Here's what we're gonna do.
我们会做的采访， We're gonna do that interview,
每个人都在会带你超级骗子严重， everyone is gonna take youabcsuper-duper seriously,
然后你永远不会离开我。 and then you're neverabcgonna leave me.
朝鲜在奥运会，对不对？ North Korea'sabcin the Olympics, right?
我敢打赌，他们有一个办公室是 I bet they haveabcan office that is
建立与奥委会进行沟通， set up to communicateabcwith the Olympic Committee,
所以有可能 so there's probably
一些基础设施与通信 some infrastructureabcfor communicating with
通过外面的世界。 the outside worldabcthrough that.
好主意。这些轮正在转向。 Good idea.abcThose wheels are turning.
- 如果我离开的消息对于办公......是啊。 - If I leave a messageabcfor that office... -Yeah.
- 那么也许，如果他们的表演，-mm，嗯风扇。 - then maybe, if they'reabca fan of the show, -Mm-hmm.
- 嗯，嗯。 MM-HMM。 - 这实际上可以工作。 - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.abc- That can actually work.
- 我们可以采访最著名的人在这个星球上。是啊。 - We could interview the mostabcfamous man on the planet. -Yeah.
- 这将是有史以来最大的采访。是啊... - That would be the biggestabcinterview ever. -Yeah...
伙计们，伙计们，伙计，伙计们！我不知道你是否 Guys, guys, guys, guys!abcI don't know if you've
听到这句话，但有些照片刚出来的时候 heard this, but someabcpictures just came out
它看起来像麦康纳的他妈的山羊。 where it looks likeabcMcConaughey's fucking a goat.
- 哇。 “麦康纳山羊操”？ - E w的... - Whoa. "McConaughey Goat Fuck"?abc- Ew...
麦康纳山羊操。 McConaughey Goat Fuck.
呃。 Uh...
好吧，我们显然必须有他这样做， Okay, we obviously haveabcto have him on to do that,
所以......我们应该把一起。 so... we shouldabcput that together.
但是，我们这样做是朝鲜的事情，好吗？ But we're doing thisabcNorth Korea thing, okay?
- 第一件事明天。好。 - 预订了他，虽然。预订他。 - First thing tomorrow. Okay.abc- Book him, though. Book him.
- 获取了他，让他，让他！获取山羊！ -I'm他。 - Get him, get him, get him!abcGet the goat! -I'm on him.
获取山羊！ Get the goat!
我得到了山羊一些问题。 I got some questionsabcfor that goat.
您好。这是亚伦拉波波特从“云雀今晚。” Hello. This is Aaron Rapoportabcfrom "Skylark Tonight."
我们听到你的最高领导人是一个大风扇 We heard your Supreme Leaderabcis a big fan
我们的节目，我们很乐意有他在。 of our show, and we'd loveabcto have him on.
呃，请打电话给我，让我知道。 Uh, please get back to meabcand let me know.
我即将前往一个重要的会议， I'm about to headabcto an important meeting,
但是，呃，我会在清晨。 but, uh, I'll be aroundabcin the morning.
希望听到您的意见。 Hope to hear from you.
哦！是啊。 Ooh! Yeah.
- 嗨。 - 嘿。 - Hi.abc- Hey.
呃，美世和Spring，请。 Uh, Mercer and Spring, please.
喔！ Whoo!
你好 Hello?
您好。谁存款保险计划？ Hello. Who dis?
我试图达到亚伦拉波波特。 I am tryingabcto reach Aaron Rapoport.
你有亚伦拉波波特。 You got Aaron Rapoport.
- 谁是DIS？ - 你离开字 - Who dis is?abc- You left word
与我们有关的采访办公。 with our officeabcregarding an interview.
瞧，戴夫，这是你吗？ Look, Dave, is this you?
因为如果是这样， 'Cause if it is,
你正在做一个可怕的亚洲口音。 you're doingabca terrible Asian accent.
我这样“，对不起。” Me so "solly."
我现在全球有机纺织品标准去，儿子。 Me gots to go now, son.
我是从淑彦公园的办公室， I am from the officeabcof Sook-yin Park,
通讯部长 Secretary of Communications
朝鲜民主人民共和国。 with the Democratic People'sabcRepublic of North Korea.
哦，我的上帝。呃... Oh, my God. Uh...
妈的。呃，我这么索利。 Shit. Uh, me so solly.
我的意思是，我好，对不起。我的意思是，II'm所以SOR ... I mean, I'm so solly.abcI mean, I-I'm so sor...
我 - 我......我很抱歉。对不起。 I'm-I'm... I'm so sorry.abcI'm sorry.
我们想讨论会议的可能性， We would like to discussabcthe possibility of a meeting
最高领袖和Dave云雀之间。 between the Supreme Leaderabcand Dave Skylark.
安全问题决定 Security concerns dictate
该事项的人员进行讨论。 that the matterabcbe discussed in person.
呃，好吧，太好了。在哪里......你在哪里做？ Uh, okay, great.abcWhere... where do you do that?
我们将在北纬40.1326见面， We will meetabcat latitude 40.1326,
东经123.9889。 longitude 123.9889.
只是因为我不一样，完全熟悉 Just 'cause I'm not, like,abctotally familiar
我的经度和纬度， with my longitudesabcand latitudes,
哪里是一遍吗？ where is that again?
50公里丹东西部，中国东北。 50 kilometers west of Dandong,abcnortheastern China.
你刚才说的“中国制造”？ Did you just say "China"?
和你刚才说的“洞”？ And did you just say "dong"?
去他妈的中国，你们。 Going to motherfuckingabcChina, y'all.
对不起，我可以在那里得到？ Excuse me,abccan I get in there?
谢谢 Thank you.
HI,你们好！ Hi, there.
不了，谢谢！ No, thank you.
我只是把它通过二手烟。 I'll just get itabcthrough secondhand smoke.
自拍！ Selfie!
好吧，这里是他妈的是谁？ Well, where the fuck are they?
什么鸟事？ What the fuck?
不，不！ No, no!
不！ No! No!
我是一名美国记者！ I'm an American journalist!
亚伦拉波波特！ Aaron Rapoport!
我在这里被邀请！ I was invited here!
我为和平而来！ I come in peace!
我在这里的采访！ I'm here for interview!
请不要杀我！ Please don't kill me!
拉波波特先生，我是淑彦公园。 Mr. Rapoport,abcI am Sook-yin Park.
最高领导人将给予一小时的采访 The Supreme Leader will grantabca one-hour interview
以云雀先生从朝鲜内部。 to Mr. Skylarkabcfrom inside North Korea.
所有问题都将由最高领袖本人提供。 All questions will be suppliedabcby the Supreme Leader himself.
条件是不可谈判的。你有24小时决定。 Terms are nonnegotiable.abcYou have 24 hours to decide.
- 就是这样？ - 是的。 - That's it?abc- Yes.
你为什么没有人告诉我这通电话？ Why didn't you guys tell me thisabcover the phone?
或Skype的？难道你们都Skype的？ Or Skype?abcDo you guys have Skype?
你在这里有Skype的？好。 Do you have Skype here?abcOkay.
好了，你看，你可以给我一些水吗？ Well, look, can you give meabcsome water?
这家伙有水！ That guy has water!
请给我一程的地方！ Please give me a ride somewhere!
我没有收拾好此行！ I didn't pack wellabcfor this trip!
我挤得像傻瓜！ I packed like a fool!
就像一个该死的傻瓜！ Like a goddamn fool!
请！请！ Please! Please!
哇！ Whoa.
该死的，她是性感的。 Damn, she was sexy.
该他妈的直升机降落。 The fucking helicopter landed.
我在中间的地方。 I'm in the middle of nowhere.
两名士兵跳出。 Two soldiers jump out.
我想我会被打死。 I think I'm gonna get killed.
然后，走出来塾。 Then, out comes Sook.
我告诉你关于她。 I told you about her.
她出来了直升机。 She comes out of the helicopter.
- 她是热的，超级性感。 - 有多热？ - She's hot, super sexy.abc- How hot?
- 你有没有在那里得到什么？是啊，我在直升机性交她。 - Did you get in there? -Yeah,abcI fucked her in the helicopter.
我他妈的男人！ My fucking man!
不，我没有这样做，伙计。不！ No, I didn't do that, dude.abcNo!
- 好。 - 她说，我们不能要求任何我们自己的问题。 - Okay. -She said we couldn't askabcany of our own questions.
他们会写所有的问题。 They were gonna writeabcall the questions.
我们不能做到这一点。 We can't do it.
我们基本上是让他 We're essentially letting him
采访自己与你的嘴。 interview himselfabcwith your mouth.
看！ Look!
看看这个buttfuck！ Look at this buttfuck!
他有核武器的整个游行。 He's got a whole paradeabcof nukes.
他已经准备好使用它们。 He's ready to use them.
当你取得了本·拉登 When you score a bin Laden
或者希特勒或元， or a Hitler or an Un,
你把它的球！ you take it by the balls!
这是新闻的第一条规则。 It's the first ruleabcof journalism.
你给他们想要的东西的人。 You give the peopleabcwhat they want.
这不是新闻的第一条规则。 That's not the first ruleabcof journalism.
我认为这是第一原则， I think that'sabcthe first rule of,
象，马戏团和拆迁德比。 like, circusesabcand demolition derbies.
这是自尼克松雾最大的采访。 This is the biggest interviewabcsince Frosty Nixon.
- 雾尼克松？ - 我的意思是，在十年内， - Frosty Nixon?abc- I mean, in ten years,
罗恩·霍华德的会拍电影了这一点。 Ron Howard's gonna makeabca movie out of this.
我们这样做，我们可以采访 We do this, we can interview
在这个星球上任何一位总统。 any president on the planet.
然后你可以问他们真正的问题。 And then you can ask themabcthe real questions.
这就像我们吃的蔬菜。 This is likeabceating our vegetables.
一旦你吃这些， Once you eat those,
然后你吃的牛排。 then you get to eat the steak.
我们知道亚伦希望他的牛排。 And we know Aaronabcwants his steak.
这就好比... This is like...
“魔戒”。 "The Lord of the Rings."
对吧 Okay?
实际上，我喜欢佛罗多。 I'm actually like Frodo Baggins.
你是我的萨姆。 And you are my Sam.
我Samwise。 My Samwise.
没有你，我不能这样做。 I can't do it without you.
- 好。 - 跟我来。 - Okay.abc- Come with me.
魔多。 To Mordor.
好吧，让我们他妈的做到这一点。 Okay, let's fucking do it.
- 是吗？ - 是啊。 - Yeah?abc- Yeah.
与往常一样，我要感谢我的客人， As always,abcI'd like to thank my guest,
乔·戈登 - 莱维特。 Joe Gordon-Levitt.
和之前我们去， And before we go,
我有一个非常特殊的公告。 I haveabca very special announcement.
随着我的优秀制片人的帮助下， With the helpabcof my outstanding producer,
亚伦拉波波特，我已经获得了最重要的采访 Aaron Rapoport, I've securedabcthe most important interview
21世纪。 of the 21st century.
三个星期后，今晚， Three weeks from tonight,
我将前往平壤，朝鲜， I will be travelingabcto Pyongyang, North Korea,
进行首次全球直播访谈 to conduct the firstabcglobally broadcast interview
与金大中总统金正恩。 with President Kim Jong-un.
我深受感动和深刻荣幸 I am deeply humbledabcand profoundly honored
接受这种最真棒责任。 to accept thisabcmost awesome responsibility.
显然，戴夫云雀将面试 Apparently, Dave Skylarkabcwill be interviewing
朝鲜的独裁者。 the dictator of North Korea.
100块钱云雀认为 100 bucks Skylark thinks
他从家伙“江南Style”。 he's the guyabcfrom "Gangnam Style."
一个残酷的独裁者色情荣耀。 Obscene glorificationabcof a brutal dictator.
这是一个男人谁折磨， This is a man who tortures,
恐吓和饿死自己的人。 terrorizes and starvesabchis own people.
- 云雀是下卑鄙。 - 他妈的这一点。 - Skylark is beneath despicable.abc- Fuck this.
Meeee-流。 Meeee-ow.
什么他妈的婊子，是吗？ What a fucking bitch,abcam I right?
不，你是不正确的。 No, you're not right.
他不是一个婊子。他是完全正确的。 He's not being a bitch.abcHe's completely right.
他是他妈的花生酱和嫉妒。 He's motherfuckingabcpeanut butter and jealous.
- 他是不嫉妒。 - 他是把 - He's not jealous.abc- He's putting
KY嫉妒遍布他的家伙。 KY jealous all over his dick.
还有什么好吃醋的？ What is there to be jealous of?
不要脸恨我们“因为他们不是我们。 Fuckers hate usabc'cause they ain't us.
他们恨我们，因为我们“肛门”？ They hates us 'cause we "anus"?
什么他妈的没有肛门有什么关系呢？ What the fuck does an anusabchave to do with this?
他们恨我们“因为他们不是我们。 They hate usabc'cause they ain't us.
这不是它是什么。 That's not what it is.
- 是的。 - 不，不是这样的。 - Yes, it is.abc- No, it's not.
他们恨我们，因为我们是我们， They hate us 'cause we is us,
而我们正在做的是他妈的太可怕了。 and what we is doingabcis fucking terrible.
他们他妈的恨我们“因为他们不是我们。 They fucking hate usabc'cause they ain't us.
- 不要说。他们不 - 恨我们“因为他们不是我们。 - Stop saying that. They don'tabc- Hate us 'cause they ain't us.
- 恨我们“因为他们不是我们！ - 恨我们“因为他们不是我们！ - Hate us 'cause they ain't us!abc- Hate us 'cause they ain't us!
- 他们不恨我们“因为他们不是我们。 -I'm习惯了。 - They don't hate us 'cause theyabcain't us. -I'm used to it.
- 恨我们“因为他们不是我们。 - 停止它。别闹了。 - Hate us 'cause they ain't us.abc- Stop it. Stop it.
- 不要说了一遍。 - 嘘。 - Don't say it again.abc- Shh.
宝贝 Baby.
愤世嫉俗的人看什么都不顺眼。 Haters gonna hate.
和ain't-ERS会是没有的。 And ain't-ers gonna ain't.
这不是一个实际的事情的人说。 That is not an actual thingabcpeople say.
这就是你做的仇敌。 This is what you do to haters.
你只微笑。 You just smile.
那是什么？ What is that?
最强的狂喜我已经在我的生活曾经做过。 The strongest ecstasyabcI've ever done in my life.
哦... Oh...
哦，什么他妈的？ Oh, what the fuck?
好。 Okay.
好吧，我来了。 Okay, I'm coming.
哦，该死 Oh, shit.
哦......哦，上帝。 Oh... oh, God.
拉波波特先生。 Mr. Rapoport.
我代理莱西 I'm Agent Lacey
中央情报局， with Central Intelligence,
这是我的伙伴，代理Botwin。 and this is my partner,abcAgent Botwin.
亚伦，谁就是， Aaron, whoever that is,
告诉他们滚开。 tell them to fuck off.
戴夫，这是，嗯， Dave, it's, uh,
- 这不是...... -yo，我不知道是谁我昨晚性交， - it's not... -Yo, I don't knowabcwho I fucked last night,
但我得到了一些臭家伙。 but I got some stink dick.
呦，我的鸡巴好臭！ Yo, my dick stinks!
如此怪异你怎么一样， So weird how you, like,
只是想继续闻它，但。 just want to keepabcsmelling it, though.
哟，你得过来，闻到这狗屎。 Yo, you got to come overabcand smell this shit.
呦，来闻此。 Yo, come smell this.
你一定要确定这一点。 You got to identify this.
我不知道它是什么。 I don't know what it is.
原谅他。 Excuse him.
他臭家伙。 He has stink dick.
那种闻起来像鳄梨。 It kind of smellsabclike guacamole.
可能我们进来吗？ May we come in?
你会，嗯， Would you, um,
像喝饮料或一些亚伦的可卡因？ like a drink or someabcof Aaron's cocaine?
这不是我们的可卡因。这是... This is not our cocaine.abcThis is...
不，我敢肯定它不是。 No, I'm sure it's not.
那么，呃，我们怎样才能，嗯，我们能做些什么，你呢？ So, uh, how can we, uh,abcwhat can we do you for?
- 是啊，要我们怎么欠的快感？ -Aaron：是的。 - Yeah, to what do we oweabcthe pleasure? -AARON: Yeah.
好了，阿龙，戴夫， Well, Aaron, Dave,
我敢肯定， as I'm sure
你已经知道， you know already,
金正恩现在能够 Kim Jong-un is now capable
对所有的摧毁西海岸。 of nuking all ofabcthe West Coast.
问题的关键是我们谈论的核国家 The point is we're talkingabcabout nuclear nations
在与对方的战争。 at war with each other.
核。 Nuclear.
他确实有一个 He does have one
战术上的优势超过了西方。 tactical advantageabcover the West.
他更愿意让数以百万计 He's more than willingabcto let millions and millions
他自己的人死亡。 of his own people die.
BA-BAM。爆炸。在我的脸上。 Ba-bam. Explosions.abcAll over my face.
对不起，我们有那种一个漫长的夜晚昨晚。 I'm sorry, we had kindabcof a long night last night.
你为什么要告诉我们 Why are you telling us
- 所有这些信息？ - 好吧， - all this information?abc- Well,
好了，我们告诉你这一点，因为你们两个幸运嘉宾 well, we're telling you thisabcbecause you two lucky gentlemen
将要在一个房间里单独和他在一起， are going to be in a room aloneabcwith him,
和祝贺，顺便说一句。 and congratulations, by the way.
好的 That's right!
这也是为什么我们在这里的原因之一。 Which is part of the reasonabcwhy we're here.
中情局会爱上它 The CIA would love it
如果你们两个能... if you two could...
带他出去。 take him out.
嗯? Hmm?
- 他出去。 - 他出去？ - Take him out.abc- Take him out?
- 就像，饮料？ - 不，不，不。 - Like, for drinks?abc- No, no, no.
- 他出去。 - 取出。 - Take him out.abc- Take out.
- 就像，去吃饭？ - 带他出去一顿饭？ - Like, to dinner?abc- Take him out to a meal?
带他出去。 Take him out.
- 就像，在镇？ - 党？ - Like, on the town?abc- Party?
不，呃... No, uh...
带他出去。 take him out.
你想让我们去刺杀朝鲜领袖？ You want us to assassinateabcthe leader of North Korea?
- 是的。 - 什么...？！ - Yes.abc- What...?!
如果我们杀了他，会不会，他们只是得到 If we kill him,abcwon't they just get
另一个胖乎乎的家伙有一个傻傻的发型 another chubby dudeabcwith a goofy hairdo
进来，取代他？ to come in and replace him?
- 没错，没错。 - 然后同样的事情发生？ - Exactly, exactly. -And thenabcthe same thing happens?
呃，其实，我们是知道的小派 Uh, actually,abcwe're aware of a small faction
在已经希望在现有的领导他走了。 in the existing leadershipabcthat already wants him gone.
他们希望改变;他们太害怕单独行动， They want change; they'reabctoo scared to act alone,
他们需要你们两个去那里... and they need you twoabcto go in there...
... Hmm...
去除金，壮胆他们造反 remove Kim,abcembolden them to revolt
并接管。 and take over.
你，代理莱西，要参与？ Are you, Agent Lacey,abcgoing to be involved?
我要在你的耳边， I am going to be in your ear,
在你身边，对每一步的方式。 by your side,abcevery step of the way.
然后，我有一个答案。 Then I have one answer.
没有更多的金。 No more Kim.
呃，你知道吗？ Uh, you know what?
其实，我认为我们应该谈论它了。 Actually, I think we shouldabctalk about it more.
- 好吧，好吧。 - 好吧，让我们只... - Okay, all right.abc- Okay, let's just...
- 我们只是会说话。 - 我们只是会说话。 - We're just gonna talk.abc- We're just gonna talk.
通过各种手段。 By all means.
为了记录， Just for the record,
我没有臭味家伙。 I don't have stink dick.
来这里，来到这里，来到这里... Come over here, come here,abccome in here...
我认为，我们需要这样做。 I think we need to do this.
她是太酷了。 She is so cool.
你没有看到发生了什么，它是那么明显。 You don't see what's happening,abcand it's so obvious.
- 这是疯了，伙计。 - 什么？ - It's crazy, man.abc- What?
他们构建Honeypot我们。 They're honeypotting us.
- 什么？ - 这是一个有吸引力的 - What?abc- It's an attractive
间谍女人谁引诱男人 spy woman who lures men
成狗屎做他们不应该做的事情。 into doing shit they'reabcnot supposed to do.
你怎么能不看呢？ How can you not see that?
- 因为这是如此的性别歧视。 - 是吗？ - Because that is so sexist.abc- Is it?
- 这是2014年 - 多德... - This is 2014.abc- Dude...
目前，妇女是聪明的。 Women are smart now.
你真的以为她只是恰巧 Do you actually thinkabcshe just so happens
有一切你觉得有吸引力？ to have everythingabcyou find attractive?
刘海，巨大的山雀，眼镜？ Bangs, giant tits, glasses?
他们是假的，男人。 They're fake, man.
假冒眼镜？ Fake glasses?
怎么可能CIA想出这样的事情？ How could the CIA come upabcwith such a thing?
嗯，这可怜的姑娘是盲目的蝙蝠。 Well, that poor girlabcis blind as a bat.
好吧，我只是说，当我们在莫莉 Okay, I'm just saying thatabcwhen we're on Molly
当我们有角起来可能不... and when we're horned upabcmight not be...
- 角吗？ - 你有角了。 - Horned up?abc- You are horned up.
当然！ Oh, please!
你有一半他妈的鲢鱼吧！ You got half a fuckingabcchub right now!
- 把你的手拿开。 - 嗯毫米。 - Take your hands away.abc- Hmm-mm.
- 我看到了蠢蛋。 - 我不走我的手了。 - I saw the boner.abc- I'm not taking my hands away.
移动你他妈的手。 Move your fucking hands.
好吧，你想看看吗？ Fine, you want to see it?
- 是啊。 - 盛宴你的眼睛。 - Yeah.abc- Feast your eyes.
好吧，这里有什么要发生的事。 Okay, here's what'sabcgonna happen.
我要便便了这些药物。 I'm gonna poop out these drugs.
你要去挺举关闭这些想法。 You're gonna go jerk offabcthese thoughts.
如果我们都还是要谈 If we both still want to talk
这个事后，那么我们就可以，但不是在那之前。 about this afterwards, thenabcwe can, but not until then.
戴夫云雀从来没有从一个混蛋过背下来。 Dave Skylark never backs downabcfrom a jerk-off.
在三天内， In three days,
你会从纽约飞到北京， you will fly from New Yorkabcto Beijing,
在那里你会转移到商业航空公司 where you will transferabcto a commercial airline
带您直接到平壤。 that takes you directlyabcto Pyongyang.
对不起，这是完全不相关的， I'm sorry,abcthis is completely unrelated,
但是，嗯，怎么了你的眼镜？ but, um, what happenedabcto your glasses?
哦，我...我得到了LASIK。 Oh, I... I got LASIK.
之间我看到你现在的时间呢？ Between the timeabcI saw you and now?
- 是的。 - 好。 - Yes.abc- Okay.
现在，我们的情报显示，你将在这里拍摄， Now, our intelligence suggestsabcthat you will be taken here,
以金正恩的个人化合物。 to Kim Jong-un'sabcpersonal compound.
所以，面试前， So, preceding the interview,
你会动摇金正日的手， you are goingabcto shake Kim's hand,
管理毒的致命剂量 administeringabca fatal dose of poison
与此，透皮时间延迟 with this, a transdermalabctime-delayed
蓖麻毒素带。 ricin strip.
当你和他握手， When you shake his hand,
该毒就会被吸收到他的皮肤， the poison will be absorbedabcinto his skin,
其中它代谢为12小时的时期。 where it metabolizesabcfor a 12-hour period.
没有人会拥有你们两个都参与任何想法。 Nobody will have any ideaabcyou two were involved.
没有人会知道？ No one will know?
美国必须保持全面和彻底的否认。 The United States must maintainabctotal and complete deniability.
- 总抵赖？ - 很明显。 - Total deniability?abc- Obviously.
- 这不是我想象。 - 你 - 什么？ - This isn't what I pictured.abc- What did you picture?
我走在那里，像一个他妈的强盗 I walk in thereabclike a fucking gangster
吹他的小屁股他妈的客场 and blowabchis little fucking ass away
在电视上。 on television.
这是一个重大的赛事节目。 This is a majorabctelevision event.
你不想与屏幕外的致死打击它。 You don't want to blow itabcwith offscreen death.
对吧 Okay?
你看，在色情，我们称这个钱出手。 Look, in porno, we callabcthis the money shot.
你没有一堆帅哥去的吧， You don't have a bunch of dudesabcgoing at it,
然后他们完成正确的之前，你砍黑 and then right beforeabcthey finish, you cut to black
并说，“哦，不用担心， and say, "Oh, don't worry,
，12小时后，他们来到各地对方“。 12 hours later,abcthey came all over each other."
不！我们希望 No! We want
全比特写。 the all-over close-up.
所有在他的脸上。 All over his face.
结束！ The end!
啊...... Ah...
咣！ Bam!
你在看什么样的色情？ What kind of pornabcare you watching?
会发生什么事时，他所有的卫兵 What happens whenabcall of his guards
开始射击回你杀死他们的领导人 start firing back at youabcfor killing their leader
就在他们面前？ right in front of them?
- 这是一个很好的问题。 - 我的防弹背心... - That's a good question.abc- My bulletproof vest...
不，你没有防弹背心。 No, you don't haveabca bulletproof vest.
- 你没有其中的一个。 - 我会躲开那些子弹。 - You don't have one of those.abc- I will dodge those bullets.
后逃离化合物戴夫会发生什么？ What happens after you escapeabcthe compound, Dave?
我回头看我的肩膀。 I look back over my shoulder.
我看到阿龙。我抓住他的手。 I see Aaron.abcI grab him by the hand.
我们跑出了树林。 We run out into the woods.
也许有一个秘密通道那里。 Perhaps there'sabca secret tunnel there.
我们退出说隧道。 We exit said tunnel.
在指定的地点，海豹六队 At a designated spot,abcSEAL Team Six
猛扑，使我们在一个 swoops in, puts us on one
这些充气摩托艇，我们打的水， of those inflatable motorboats,abcwe hit the water,
我们离开那里，对我们的方式给你。 we're out of there,abcon our way to you.
如果你没有尝试这样做，你会先杀了你？ If you did try to do this,abcwhat would kill you first?
子冻结温度。 Sub-freezing temperatures.
我不喜欢寒冷。 I don't like the cold.
- 好吧，我们... - 饥饿，饿死。 - Okay, we...abc- Starvation, starve to death.
你告诉我中情局没有 You telling me the CIAabcdoesn't have
北脸夹克和一些海盗藏宝？ North Face jacketsabcand some Pirate Booty?
头儿紧缩？ Cap'n Crunch?
怎么样西伯利亚虎？ What about Siberian tigers?
- 你有没有想到这一点？ - 什么？ - Did you think about that?abc- What?
你不打算向他开枪。 You're not going to shoot him.
还有的不会是防弹背心， There's not going to beabca bulletproof vest,
没有人会知道 and nobodyabcis going to know
你有什么做与此有关。 that you had anythingabcto do with this.
就是这样，这就是计划。 That's it, that's the plan.
- 周期。 - 好。 - Period.abc- Okay.
两年后， Two years later,
我拿出我的畅销告诉所有。 I come outabcwith my bestselling tell-all.
“意外之旅： "An Unexpected Journey:
戴夫云雀的冒险在朝鲜。“ Dave Skylark's Adventuresabcin North Korea."
你不能写一个告诉所有。 You can't write a tell-all.
“我们是一个奇怪形状的灰色室 "We were an oddly-shapedabcgray room
“在CIA总部。 "at the CIA headquarters.
该挑逗代理莱西......“ The titillating Agent Lacey..."
停止这样做。 Stop doing that.
- 为什么？ - 有没有告诉所有。 - Why?abc- There's no tell-all.
“”有没有告诉所有“代理莱西说。 "'There's no tell-all, 'abcAgent Lacey said.
“她看着他。 "She looked at him.
她颤抖着愤怒，抑或是激情？“ She trembled with rage,abcor was it passion?"
- 停止它。 - 我只是想大家都知道 - Stop it.abc- I just want everybody to know
我知道你对我做 that I knowabcwhat you did to me
- 随着眼镜？ - 什么？ - With the glasses?abc- What?
- 蜂窝状我。 - 这是什么意思，甚至？ - Honeycombed me.abc- What does that even mean?
你honeypotted他。这是蜜罐。 You honeypotted him.abcIt's honeypot.
- 你honeypotted我。 - 你honeypotted他。 - You honeypotted me.abc- You honeypotted him.
- 不，我没有。 - 他的说了很多愚蠢的狗屎 - No, I didn't. -He's saidabca lot of stupid shit
在过去的十几分钟，但对于实数， in the last ten minutes,abcbut for reals,
你做了蜜罐了。 you did honeypot him.
我敢打赌，你在这里得到了他的蜂蜜家伙 I bet you got him in hereabcas a honey dick
以防万一，我是同性恋，但我不是， just in case I'm gay,abcbut I'm not,
但如果我是，我会见过他来一英里远。 but if I was, I would'veabcseen him coming a mile away.
- 你蜂蜜dicking？ -Look，她没有构建Honeypot你， - You honey dicking? -Look, she'sabcnot honeypotting you,
- 我不蜂蜜dicking他。 - 这是非常反感， - and I'm not honey dicking him.abc- It's very offensive,
“导致基本上，如果你想你对我说什么， 'cause basically if you thinkabcabout what you're saying to me,
你说，因为我是一个女孩， you're sayingabcbecause I'm a girl,
因为我是有吸引力的， and because I'm attractive,
我对这个机构的唯一用途是操纵男人。 my only use for this agencyabcwould be to manipulate men.
我认为这是进攻了。 I think it's offensive, too.
而这正是我对亚伦说。 and that's exactlyabcwhat I said to Aaron.
我说，婊子是盲目的蝙蝠。 I said that bitchabcis blind as a bat.
我们可以请继续前进？ Can we please move on?
我们有一个独裁者将其杀死。 We have a dictator to kill.
当处理蓖麻条， When handling the ricin strip,
操作极为谨慎。 operate with extreme caution.
与暴露条甚至一时的肉体接触是致命的。 Even momentary flesh contactabcwith the exposed strip is fatal.
毒将为蛰伏12小时。 The poison will lay dormantabcfor 12 hours.
之后它通过血 - 脑屏障， After it passesabcthe blood-brain barrier,
你的心脏率将上升至160。 your heart rateabcwould shoot up to 160.
你的身体会紧张拒绝毒药 Your body will strainabcto reject the poison
由满头大汗，大便，呕吐。 by profusely sweating,abcdefecating, vomiting.
几分钟之内，你会死的。 Within minutes,abcyou will be dead.
- 好。 - 得到它了？ - Okay.abc- Got it?
亚伦剥落电影标有A， Aaron peelsabcoff the film marked A,
露出的粘合剂涂层。 exposing the adhesive coating.
然后，他适用条戴夫的手掌。 He then applies the stripabcto Dave's palm.
- 好吧...... -Aaron将消除薄膜标记B， - Okay... -Aaron will thenabcremove the film marked B,
露出的蓖麻毒素。 exposing the ricin.
- 清除。 - 好吧，清晰。 - Clear.abc- Okay, clear.
- 好。 - 好。 - Okay.abc- Okay.
戴夫需要出现散 Dave needs to appear casual
因为他是从他的房间转移 as he is transferredabcfrom his room
- 好。 - 要广播设施。 - Okay.abc- To the broadcast facility.
他把他的手打开，这一点至关重要 It is critical that he keepsabchis hand open
，触动什么。 and touches nothing.
戴夫云雀。 Dave Skylark.
金先生... Mr. Kim...
只是握手。 Just shaking hands.
嗨 Hi.
很高兴认识你。 Nice to meet you.
戴夫会低头金 Dave will bow to Kim
然后他握手， then shake his hand,
立即处理的带材的 immediately disposingabcof the strip
在他的上衣口袋里，这将是内衬 in his jacket pocket,abcwhich will be lined
与吸收剂是变性的毒药。 with an absorbing agentabcthat denatures the poison.
噢, 不！ Oh, no!
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
代理莱西！ Agent Lacey!
- 这是什么意思？ - 你就死定了。 - What's this mean?abc- You're dead.
好吧，云雀先生，所以你刚才的地方 All right, Mr. Skylark,abcso you'll just place
蓖麻毒素案在这个袋子在这里。 the ricin caseabcin this pouch here.
这将磁性密封， It will magnetically seal,
然后你就可以走了。 and then you're good to go.
所以，你要我把这个包？ So you want meabcto carry this bag?
这是囊中。 This is the bag.
这是一个冲洗袋。 This is a douche bag.
手表隐瞒战术功能的阵列。 The watches concealabcan array of tactical functions.
这是你留在我和指挥中心联系方式。 It's how you stay in contactabcwith me and the command center.
- 阿伦戴夫。 - 所有无线电通信 - Aaron to Dave.abc- All radio communication
应该使用的呼号来完成。 should be done using call signs.
- 酷。 - 戴夫， - Cool.abc- Dave,
你是“蜣螂，” you are "dung beetle,"
- 什么？ - 亚伦，你是“土豚”。 - What?abc- And Aaron, you are "aardvark."
我甚至不能携带这个东西！ I can't even carry this thing!
你的意思是你不能随身携带呢？ What do you meanabcyou can't carry it?
空气动力学是全部关闭。 Aerodynamics are all off.
它打我的腿。 It's hitting my leg.
它的一样，笨重。 It's, like, bulky.
请记住，先生们，你们正在进入 Please remember, gentlemen,abcyou are entering into
最危险和最不可预知的国家在地球上。 the most dangerous andabcunpredictable country on Earth.
金正恩是一个操盘高手。 Kim Jong-unabcis a master manipulator.
他的人民敬仰他为神。 His people revere him as a god.
他们会相信任何事情 They'll believe anything
他告诉他们，包括他能够为海豚说话 he tells them, including thatabche can speak to dolphins
或者他不大小便。 or he doesn't urinateabcand defecate.
哇，哇，哇，哇...... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa...
你告诉我我的男人不撒尿或船尾？ You're telling me my manabcdoesn't pee or poop?
我告诉你，他做了，他所在 I'm telling you he does,abcand he lies
他的人，他们相信他的话。 to his peopleabcand they believe him.
大家撒尿和poops。 Everybody pees and poops.
其中，将它去，否则？他会爆炸。 Where would it go otherwise?abcHe'd explode.
但他确实跟海豚。 But he does talk to dolphins.
哇，哇，哇，哇。 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
好吧，我怎么看？ All right, how do I look?
他妈的真棒？ Fucking awesome?
是啊，其实，这是真的，真的很好。 Yeah, actually, thisabcis really, really nice.
- 是啊。 - 而这只是... - Yeah.abc- And that just...
什么他妈的是什么？ What the fuck is this?
- 这是我的包。 - 这是美妙的。 - It's my bag.abc- It's wonderful.
这只是不是CIA给你的包。 That's just not the bagabcthe CIA gave you.
哦，那包呢？ Oh, that bag?
是的，那个包！ Yes, that bag!
这袋是用的fugly资本“富格”。 That bag was Fuglyabcwith a capital "Fug."
那么，它也被设计来掩盖他妈的毒药 Well, it was also designedabcto conceal fucking poison
我们要去走私到国外。 that we're gonna smuggleabcinto a foreign country.
金正日是一个超级球迷。 Kim is a super fan.
他知道我带时尚的风险。 He knows I take fashion risks.
你看，我告诉了其他包， Look, I show upabcwith that other bag,
金正日会是这样， Kim's gonna be like,
“噢， 不是。 "Oh, no.
“你有丑陋的包吗？ "You got ugly bag?
“你没有云雀，你的秘密特工。 "You no Skylark,abcyou secret agent.
终止了他。“ Terminate him."
哪来的他妈的毒药条？ Where's the fuckingabcpoison strip?
我把带的一包口香糖。 I put the stripabcin a pack of gum.
他们永远也找不到它。 They'll never find it.
我不冷静与此有关。 I am not cool with this.
- 这是欣欣。 - 开演时间？ - It's showtime.abc- Showtime?
这不是欣欣。 It's not showtime.
- 你在干什么？停止。 - “戴夫云雀今晚！” - What are you doing? Stop.abc- "Dave Skylark Tonight!"
停走！ Stop walking!
- 停止行走。 - 您好。 - Stop walking.abc- Hello.
我们将朝鲜。 We are going to North Korea.
哟，云雀，哪一方 Yo, Skylark, which side
金大中总统的屁股，你会吻？ of President Kim's assabcyou gonna kiss?
我不会吻他，但我们只能说 I'm not gonna kiss him,abcbut let's just say
我可以给他一些特别的东西与我的手。 I might give himabcsomething special with my hand.
你会挺举他送行？ You gonna jerk him off?
什么？号这是一个双关语。 What? No.abcThat's a double entendre.
关闭他妈的......闭嘴！ Shut the fuck... Shut up!
- 我伏笔！ - 住口！ - I'm foreshadowing!abc- Shut up!
住口！获取在他妈的车！ Shut up!abcGet in the fucking car!
住口！住口！ Shut up! Shut up!
你为什么会这么说？你为什么会这么说？ Why would you say that?abcWhy would you say that?
好了，我们开始吧。 All right, here we go.
“那是什么声音？” What's that noise?
- 我不知道。 - 你听到了吗？ - I don't know.abc- Do you hear that?
带了 Yeah.
哇哦。 Wow.
这太疯狂了， This is crazy.
- 你好，朝鲜??！ - 哇。 - Hello, North Korea!abc- Wow.
这太疯狂了， This is crazy.
没事的。没事的。 Okay, okay.
- 北的一面！ - 好。 - North side!abc- Okay.
喜。遗憾......他在做什么。 Hi. Sorry about...abcwhat he's doing.
您好！哇... Hello!abcWow...
我喜欢你的风格。 I like your style.
很高兴再次见到你。你好吗？ Good to see you again.abcHow are you?
- 嗨。 - 您好。 - Hi.abc- Hello.
- 您好。 - 这是伟大的。 - Hello.abc- This is great.
呃，戴夫，这是，呃，淑彦公园。 Uh, Dave, this is, uh,abcSook-yin Park.
- 塾？该塾？ - 是的，是的。 - Sook? The Sook?abc- Yes, yes.
你不会停止谈论？ That you won't stopabctalking about?
这不是事实。 That's not true.
我们是不同的人。 We are different people.
我们说不同的语言。 We speak different languages.
哈?abcHuh? Huh?
我们有不同的面孔， We have different faces,
但里面 but inside
我们是一样的，一样的。 we are same-same.
同一样的，但不同的。 Same-same, but different.
不过还是一样的。 But still same.
哦.谢谢你. Oh, thank you.
Konichiwa。 Konichiwa.
你知道，我是非常， You know, I'm very,
非常感兴趣，在你年轻的国家的历史。 very interested in the historyabcof your young nation.
我听说 I hear that
绝对是大家在这里IS-IS饿死。 absolutely everyone hereabcis-is starving to death.
不 No.
这是相当好的。 It's quite all right.
这是一个普遍的误解。 This is a common misconception.
好的 Oh, okay.
看到自己。 See for yourself.
哦，哇！这是一个杂货店。 Oh, wow!abcIt's a grocery store.
看起来像周围的从我的地方角落的全食。 Looks like the Whole Foodsabcaround the corner from my place.
是的，你猜没有人挨饿这里毕竟。 Yep, guess no one'sabchungry here after all.
我们有丰富的食物在这里。 We have an abundanceabcof food here.
和说话的魔鬼，看那个胖孩子！ And speak of the devil,abclook at that fat kid!
嗨，小的脂肪！ Hi, little fatty!
喜。毫米毫米！ Hi. Mm-mm!
我们有许多胖孩子在朝鲜。 We have many fat childrenabcin North Korea.
最高领袖 The Supreme Leader
相信这是一个标志 believes it is a hallmark
繁荣和自给自足。 of prosperityabcand self-sufficiency.
我不知道这一切， I don't know about all that,
但是这一个是一个，我听到了。 but this one is oneabcthat I heard.
我听说他不尿尿便便或。 I heard he doesn't pee or poo.
他工作这么辛苦，他燃烧的能量由内。 He works so hard,abche burns the energy from inside.
你 - 你告诉我，我的人没有采取便便？ You-You're telling me my manabcdoesn't have to take a poo?
难道，他有一个屁眼？ Does-does he haveabca butthole?
他没有屁眼。 He does not have a butthole.
他没有必要的。 He has no need for one.
哇！ Whoa!
嗬 - 嗬！妈的，儿子！ Ho-ho! Damn, son!
该死的... Damn...
正确的这种方式。 Right this way.
我得到它。他妈的停止它。 I get it. Fucking stop it.
这些官员Koh和羽。 These areabcOfficers Koh and Yu.
他们的头 They are the heads of
我们的最高领导人的人身安全。 our Supreme Leader'sabcpersonal security.
他们一直跟他，因为他是一个小男孩。 They have been with himabcsince he was a little boy.
他们会搜索你最后一面 They will search youabcone last time
在进入我们的最高领袖的家。 before enteringabcour Supreme Leader's home.
只是一个Gucci包。 Just a Gucci bag.
这些是什么？ What's this?
呃。 Uh...
口香糖。 gum.
这是口香糖。 That is gum.
哦，你他妈的尝试过吗？ Oh, you fucking tried it?
这把枪没有味道。 This gun has no flavor.
- 如果你不喜欢它，就吐了出来。 - 仅仅吐出来。 - If you don't like it, just spitabcit out. -Just spit it out.
如果你只是吐了出来，我们就不会被侮辱。 We wouldn't be insultedabcif you just spat it out.
你口香糖味道像狗屎。 Your gum taste like shit.
好。 Okay.
现在，您可以进入最高领袖的家。 You may now enter theabcSupreme Leader's home.
这间客房 This room
- 对云雀先生。 - 酷。 - for Mr. Skylark.abc- Cool.
谢谢。 Thanks.
这间客房的拉波波特先生。 This room for Mr. Rapoport.
噢，可爱的。 Ooh, lovely.
- 谢谢。古雅。 - 可爱。 - Thank you. Quaint.abc- Cute.
你知道，我累了。 You know, I'm tired.
感觉怎么样？ How are you feeling?
- 我们现在就去。 - 好。 - We go now.abc- Okay.
好家伙，什么他妈的？ Dude, what the fuck?
嘿，呃，你知道， Hey, uh, you know,
- 怎么是你肚子的感觉？ - 你应该有一些吃药。 - how's your tummy feeling?abc- You should have some Tums.
也许你应该有一些茶。 Maybe you shouldabchave some tea.
妈的 Fuck.
- 嘘。 - 嘘。 - Shh.abc- Shh.
它们可以记录。 They could be recording.
- 哦，那东西。 - 事情，没事，走了。 - Oh, the thing.abc- The thing, all right, go.
- 哦，嗯... - 可爱的房间。 - Oh, uh...abc- Lovely room.
- 是啊。 - 哦，是的。 - Yeah.abc- Oh, yes.
可爱。我要去洗澡了。 Lovely. I'm gonna goabctake a shower now.
好吧，我需要一个和你在一起。 Okay, I'll takeabcone with you.
为什么你会需要一个和我在一起？ Why would youabctake one with me?
我只是做了假的谈话。 I'm just making upabcfake conversation.
住口。他妈的闭嘴。 Shut up.abcShut the fuck up.
什么......这个......他妈的......花花公子？ What... the... fuck... dude?
他吃了。他他妈的吃了。 He ate it.abcHe fucking ate it.
- 你甚至不应该去碰它。 - 和他吃了。 - You're not even supposedabcto touch it. -And he ate it.
- 咀嚼。嚼吧！ - 妈的！他妈的。 - Chewing. Chewing it!abc- Shit! Fuck.
妈的，他是怎么死的。 Shit, he's gonna die.
看，看，看，看... Look, look, look, look...
他可能一样，金正日的触发男人，好吗？ He's probably, like,abcKim's trigger man, okay?
他可能杀了一样，成千上万的人。 He's probably killed,abclike, tons of people.
他可能比金更糟糕， He's probably worse than Kim,
和我们没关系与杀金，对不对？ and we're okayabcwith killing Kim, right?
带了 Yeah.
如何他妈的我们该怎么办了，顺便说一下？ How the fuck are we gonnaabcdo that, by the way?
我们没有任何毒了。 We don't haveabcany poison anymore.
这是怎么回事？ What happened to it?
- 有人把它吃了。 - 有人把它吃了？ - Somebody ate it.abc- Someone ate it?
为什么他妈的你切换袋？ Why the fuck did youabcswitch bags?
- 是的，戴夫！ - 好吧，好吧！ - Yeah, Dave!abc- All right, all right!
我不应该打开的包装袋。对不起。 I shouldn't have switchedabcthe bags. I'm sorry.
- 我告诉你了。 - 听着，刚刚坐稳。 - I told you.abc- Listen, just sit tight.
我会与您联系。 I am going to contact you.
不要睡着。 Do not fall asleep.
我会想出一个办法来解决这个问题。 I'm gonna figure outabca way to fix this.
谢谢。你为什么要告诉她？ Thanks.abcWhy'd you tell her?
告诉她什么？因为这是事实。 Tell her what?abcBecause it's the truth.
你为什么要告诉她，他吃了吗？ Why'd you tell herabcthat he ate it?
因为他做到了！ Because he did!
好家伙，这是一只公鸡块。 Dude, that was a cock block.
让我大弗兰克斯在乌山空军基地。 Get me Major Franksabcat the Osan Air Force Base.
ETA发射区，20分钟。 ETA to launch zone, 20 minutes.
我们有一只鸟在途中。 We have a bird en route.
这将是内你范围在15分钟内。 It will be within range of youabcin 15 minutes.
土豚， Aardvark,
您的手表将发送坐标 your watch will transmitabcthe coordinates
在包指导。 to guide in the package.
你需要让外面的地方，没有树木覆盖 You need to get outsideabcto a place with no tree cover
在那里，你无法检测。 where you can't be detected.
对吧 Okay?
什么 - 什么 - 什么......？莱西，为什么我必须这样做？ What-what-what...?abcLacey, why do I have to do it?
为什么呀？ Why you?
因为如果蜣螂被逮住 Because if Dung Beetleabcgets caught
或者被杀，那么我们没有任务了，是吗？ or killed, then we don't haveabca mission anymore, do we?
你真的认为我能抓到或打死？ You really think I couldabcget caught or killed?
嘿，穿上你最黑暗的衣服，现在到外面 Hey, put on your darkest clothesabcand get outside now
并确保你 and make sure that you are
至少有20码距离建设。 at least 20 yards awayabcfrom the building.
临近发射区。 Approaching launch zone.
走吧。 You ready?
我想也是的。 I think so.
我有点紧张，但我感觉还可以。 I'm a little nervous,abcbut I'm feeling okay.
- 好吧，好吧。 - 我想我能做到这一点。 - Okay, okay.abc- I think I can do it.
- 你在干什么？ - 我要珍惜 - What are you doing?abc- I'm gonna cherish
- 我们所有的回忆。 - 不要这样做！ - all the memories we have.abc- Don't do this!
- 什么？ -Talk对我来说，我就要死了，好吗？ - What? -Talk to meabclike I'm about to die, okay?
- 我会没事的！ - 好吧。我知道。 - I'm gonna be fine!abc- All right. I know.
我想在这里迷幻自己了;你使我失望。 I'm trying to psych myself upabchere; you're bringing me down.
我会爱你的母亲一样，她是我的母亲。 I will love your motherabclike she was my mother.
- 给我闭嘴。住口。 - 好。 - Just shut up. Shut up.abc- Okay.
嘘。 Shh.
这是真正可怕的在那里。 It's really scary out there.
是啊，超级骗子吓人。 Yeah, super-duper scary.
- 当心。 - 好吧，好。你让我？ - Be careful.abc- Okay, good. You got me?
- 我接到你了。我不会放弃你。 - 好。 - I got you. I will not drop you.abc- Okay.
- 是啊，就是不给我。 - 我接到你了。 - Yeah, just don't drop me.abc- I got you.
我有...哦！ I got... Oh!
土豚，你没事吧？ Aardvark, are you all right?
我很好。他妈的闭嘴。 I'm fine. Shut the fuck up.
土豚是热的。 Aardvark is hot.
我再说一遍：土豚是热得烫手。 I repeat: Aardvark is H-O-T hot.
- 这是太吓人了。 - 土豚？ - This is so scary.abc- Aardvark?
你是神勇无比。 You're being extremely brave.
每个人都在这里是很为你感到骄傲。 Everybody hereabcis very proud of you.
- 我的肚子上所有的刮了又湿。 -Aardvark， - My tummy's all scraped upabcand wet. -Aardvark,
我会擦你的肚子，当你回来，不用担心。 I'm gonna rub your tummyabcwhen you get back, don't worry.
就在几英尺，好吗？ Just a few more feet, okay?
只需五到十多个脚。 Just five to ten more feet.
我得坚持下去？ I got to keep going?
我不想继续下去。 I don't want to keep going.
妈的 Fuck.
包将在三，二，一，景气部署。 Package will deployabcin three, two, one, boom.
包是入站。 Package is inbound.
到达时间两分钟。 Arrival time, two minutes.
短短五年更足。 Just five more feet.
五个脚，你在你的商标。 Five more feet,abcand you're on your mark.
嘿，嘿， Hey, hey,
哎，别动。 hey, don't move.
我觉得我看到的东西。 I think I see something.
- 咦？ - 有什么东西在那里。 - Huh?abc- There's something out there.
你是什??么意思，有什么东西在那里？ What do you mean,abcthere's something out there?
它是什么？你可以放大吗？ What is it?abcCan you zoom in on that?
我该怎么办？ What do I do?
通讯一，你看到吗？ Comm One, are you seeing this?
放大一说的事情。 Zoom in one that thing.
那是什么？ What is that?
有什么东西爬往土豚。 There's something crawlingabctowards Aardvark.
什么他妈的？它是什么？跟我说话。 What the fuck? What is it?abcTalk to me.
我看到四腿连接到一体。 I'm seeing four legsabcconnected to one body.
什么他妈的是你看到？我没有看到任何东西。 What the fuck are you seeing?abcI'm not seeing anything.
狗，大狗。 Dog, big dog.
- 大狗？ - 这就像克利福德大小。 - Big dog?abc- It's like Clifford size.
我们正在谈论Falkor在“无休止的故事。” We're talking Falkorabcin "The Neverending Story."
它像一条巨龙狗。 It's like a dragon dog.
这就像一个龙犬。 This is like a dragon dog.
那是一个他妈的... Is that a fucking...
伙计们，我在找什么？我不知道... Guys, what am I looking for?abcI don't know...
它就像一只大狗 It's like a big dog
这是橙色。 that's orange.
它有条纹。 It's got stripes.
这就像一个大的，橙色的，stripey狗。 It's like a big, orange,abcstripey dog.
有一只老虎。 There's a tiger.
这是一个他妈的老虎。 It's a fucking tiger.
嗯，是的 Yes.
一只老虎。 A tiger.
你他妈的带领我的朋友成虎补丁？ You fucking led my friendabcinto a tiger patch?
我告诉你，有老虎出现。 I told youabcthere were tigers there.
伙计们，我很不高兴，现在。 Guys, I'm very unhappyabcright now.
你看，它真的黑在那里。 Look, it's really darkabcout there.
他可能没有看到你。 He probably doesn't see you.
哦，这他妈的看我。 Oh, it fucking sees me.
- 它公顷...它具有夜视。 - 他们有夜视？ - It ha... it has night vision.abc- They have night vision?
老虎有夜视镜？ That tiger hasabcnight vision goggles?
它没有夜视镜。 It doesn't haveabcnight vision goggles.
它只是自然有晚上... It just naturally has night...
- - 听，只是不停的线清晰， - -Listen,abcjust keep the line clear,
蜣螂，好吗？ Dung Beetle, please?
土豚是麻烦。 Aardvark is in trouble.
我该怎么办？我该怎么办？ What do I do? What do I do?
跟我说话，跟我说话。 Talk to me, talk to me.
我不希望它来此， I didn't want itabcto come to this,
但你会要争取的老虎。 but you're gonna haveabcto fight that tiger.
不，不！不打老虎！ No, do not!abcDo not fight the tiger!
不要做一个绅士，你去正确的他妈的球。 Do not be a gentleman, you goabcright for the fucking balls.
我没有看到它的球。 I don't see its balls.
不打老虎！你将失去！ Do not fight the tiger!abcYou will lose!
如果这是一个女孩的老虎，你得阴户踢那个婊子。 If that's a girl tiger,abcyou got to cunt punt that bitch.
- 戴夫，他妈的闭嘴。 - 屄平底船这他妈的婊子！ - Dave, shut the fuck up.abc- Cunt punt that fucking bitch!
请告诉我，你知道，这是一个愚蠢的想法。 Please tell me you knowabcthat that's a stupid idea.
拜托，请不要尝试打老虎。 Please, please don't tryabcto fight the tiger.
我要让运行它。 I'm gonna make a run for it.
不要为它跑了！ Do not run for it!
你会死的。 You will die.
它的到来。 It's coming.
你走，走，走，哥们！去吧，老兄！ You go, go, go, buddy!abcGo, buddy!
看的出来，看出来！它后，你来了！ Look out, look out!abcIt's coming after you!
它后，你来了！ It's coming after you!
- 哦，上帝，我还活着。 - 阿伦！ - Oh, God, I'm alive.abc- Aaron!
我还活着。 I'm alive.
你在虎，土豚？ Are you in the tiger, Aardvark?
你的虎里面？ Are you inside the tiger?
你还好吗？ Are you okay?
你有包？ Do you have the package?
这是土豚。 This is Aardvark.
我想包刚杀了他妈的虎。 I think the package just killedabcthe fucking tiger.
太棒了。你必须确保该包。 Fantastic.abcYou have to secure the package.
确保他妈的包。 Secureabcthe motherfucking package.
他得到了包。他的包。 He's got the package.abcHe has the package.
我得到了它;我用它做什么？ I got it; what do I do with it?
土豚，还有人来。 Aardvark,abcthere are people coming.
你必须现在就采取行动。 You have to act now.
固定包，固定包。 Secure the package,abcsecure the package.
- 我该怎么办呢？ -They're未来的权利对你。 - What do I do with it? -They'reabccoming right towards you.
他们会看到，他们会看到它。 They're gonna see it,abcthey're gonna see it.
你一定要隐藏的小导弹。 You got to hideabcthat little missile.
我有什么地方隐藏起来？ I have to hide it somewhere?
凡他妈的做我躲呢？ Where the fuck do I hide it?
我该怎么办呢？我该怎么办呢？ What do I do with it?abcWhat do I do with it?
如果你把它藏在你的屁股是什么？ What if you hide itabcin your butt?
我不想把它贴在我的屁股。 I don't want to stick itabcin my ass.
你得把它放在你的屁股，土豚。 You got to put itabcin your butt, Aardvark.
通讯一，请告诉我，我没有 Comm One, please tell meabcI don't have
坚持这一思想在我的屁股。 to stick this think in my ass.
好吧，你是对的。只要给我们 Okay, you're right. Just give us
一秒想出一个更好的计划。 one secondabcto come up with a better plan.
是不是还有其他地方，我可以保证吗？ Isn't there anywhere elseabcI could secure it?
我觉得他应该把它放在他的屁眼。 I think he should put itabcin his asshole.
我们没有一个更好的计划。你将有 We don't have a better plan.abcYou're going to have
要坚持在你的屁股。 to stick it in your ass.
不！ No! No!
不 No!
我从来没有做到这一点。 I've never done that.
我以前去过那里。它看起来巨大的。 I've been there before.abcIt looks huge.
老虎血液润滑。 That tiger bloodabcwill lubricate it.
这会搞乱我的屁眼！ This will mess up my asshole!
土豚，还有，还有人在那里。 Aardvark,abcthere-there are people there.
他们对你关闭的。 They are closing in on you.
他们有枪。 They have guns.
你需要保护的有效载荷 You need to secure the payload
你需要将其固定在你的屁股。 and you needabcto secure it in your ass.
只需把它贴在你的屁股。 Just stick it in your butt.
好吧，精，细。 Okay, fine, fine.
我与你同在，兄弟。 I'm there with you, bro.
只是听我的声音舒缓的色调。 Just listen to the soothingabctones of my voice.
只是呼吸。 Just breathe.
哦，它的冷。 Oh, it's cold.
只是让诸事松动。 Just let everything go loose.
哦，我不喜欢它！ Oh, I don't like it!
该提示是... The tip is...
这是最糟糕的部分。 it's the worst part.
相信我这一点。 Trust me on this.
吸气，当你做到这一点。 Inhale as you do it.
包的前端是安全的。 The tip of the packageabcis secure.
通讯一个，那就是在他的屁股。 Comm One,abcthat thing is in his butt.
Owie，owie。 Owie, owie.
你几乎在端区，土豚。 You are almostabcin the end zone, Aardvark.
只是把它带回家。 Just take it home.
包装是安全的。 The package is secure.
你是一个英雄。 You are a hero.
你是一个该死的英雄。 You are a goddamn hero.
- - 所有正确的，他们来了，他们来了。 - -All right,abcthey're coming, they're coming.
我得走了。在进出。 I got to go. Over and out.
嗨！啊哈！不要拍我。 Hi! Aah! Don't shoot me.
哦，上帝！ Oh, God!
不要伤害我，拜托了！ Don't hurt me, please!
看到了吗？有没有在这里。 See? There's nothing in here.
有没有在这里。 There's nothing in here.
什么？ What?
哦，上帝，不！ Oh, God, no!
啊噢！ Ow!
快点! Come on!
什么鸟事？ What the fuck?
为什么呢？你为什么要这么做？ Why? Why'd you do that?
你为什么要这么做？ Why'd you do that?!
这是你想要什么? Is this what you want?
那里！你喜欢它?! There! You like it?!
你喜欢它?! You like it?!
这都是你的，不要脸！ It's all yours, fuckers!
留在房间里，美国。 Stay in the room, American.
嘿，他们走了。难道他们看在你的屁股？ Hey, they're gone.abcDid they look in your butt?
- 不，他们不看在我的屁股。 - 它仍然在那里？ - No, they didn't look inabcmy butt. -It's still in there?
- 是的，它在那里。 - 哇。必须要深。 - Yes, it's in there.abc- Wow. Must be deep.
- 这是。 - 把它弄出来。 - It is.abc- Get it out.
我会他妈的拿不出来。 I'm gonna fucking get it out.
我在这里帮忙。 I'm here to help.
嘿。 Hey.
- 你怎么样？蓖麻毒素多功能一体机用钢带上你的名字。 - How'd it go? -One ricin stripabcwith your name on it.
明白. Got it.
好了 All right.
你看，没有那么糟糕。 See, not so bad.
是啊，没有那么糟糕。 Yeah, not so bad.
- 什么?! - 是啊。 - What?!abc- Yeah.
- 是什么？ - 此。 - That?abc- This.
- 在你的BU ...？ - 混蛋。 - In your bu...?abc- Asshole.
- 不！ - 是的。 - No!abc- Yes.
我想象的东西一样，这个大。 I was picturingabcsomething, like, this big.
是啊，我可以住在一起。 Yeah, that I could live with.
只要你回家， As soon as you get home,
你需要看直肠病学家。 you need to see a proctologist.
我怕他妈的样子。 I'm afraid to fucking look.
你有性交机械战警，纨绔子弟。 You got fucked by RoboCop, dude.
呃，是谁呢？ Uh, who is it?
这是，嗯，金正恩。 It is, uh, Kim Jong-un.
什么？ What?
金正日是什么？ Kim Jong-what?
我是最高领袖，呃，朝鲜。 I am the Supreme Leader of,abcuh, North Korea.
什么？ What?
什么鸟事？ What the fuck?
- 这是他的。 - 这是他妈的他。 - It's him.abc- It's fucking him.
他在干什么吗？什么他妈的？ What is he doing here?abcWhat the fuck?
它隐藏，隐藏，隐藏它。 Hide it, hide it, hide it.
- 把它备份。 - 号 - Put it back up.abc- No.
我不会把它备份。 I'm not putting it back up.
没有，我在我的房间里会隐藏它。 No, I'm gonna hide itabcin my room.
- 好。我该怎么做呢？ - 去打招呼了。 - Okay. What do I do with this?abc- Go say hi to him.
我把它放在现在呢？ Do I put it on right now?
不，他就会当我们还在这里死。 No, then he'll dieabcwhen we're still here.
把它放在你的口袋里。 Put it in your pocket.
- 好吧，罚款。 - 好吧，罚款。 - Okay, fine.abc- Okay, fine.
- 跟我来。 - 不，我为什么要遮遮掩掩了。 - Come with me.abc- No, I got to hide this.
- 亚伦，只是跟我来。 - 不，不... - Aaron, just come with me.abc- No, no...
阿龙，阿龙。 Aaron, Aaron.
嗨 Hi.
早上好，戴夫。 Good morning, Dave.
早上好。 Good morning.
嗨 Hi.
戴夫云雀啊。 Dave Skylark, ah.
它的疯狂。 It's crazy.
呵呵，我对你的礼物。 Oh, I have a gift for you.
- 真的哦？ - 是啊。 - Oh, really?abc- Yeah.
此。 This.
哦，哦，这是我的。 Oh, oh, this is me.
就是你。 It's you.
哦，这是伟大的。 Oh, that's great.
我一直想其中的一个......一个半身像。 I always wantedabcone of these... a bust.
戴夫云雀。 Dave Skylark.
嘿！ Hey!
- 谢谢。 - 你喜欢吗？ - Thank you.abc- You like that?
让你真正喜欢的节目？ So you really like the show?
不，我可能不会表现出来，但我吓坏了。 No, I might not show it,abcbut I'm freaking out.
你就像一个superfan。 You're like a superfan.
我真的很。 I really am.
带了 Yeah.
这太酷了。 That's so cool.
不要说一些愚蠢的事，金。 Don't say something stupid, Kim.
好吧，我，嗯， Okay, so I, uh,
以为你可能会喜欢，呃，早餐 thought you might enjoy,abcuh, breakfast
和我的家庭之旅。 and a tour of my home.
我倒是绝对的爱。 I'd absolutely love to.
你知道，我不得不承认，我才来到这里， You know, I have to admit,abcbefore I came here,
我以为这个地方会成为一个垃圾场。 I thought this placeabcwas gonna be a dump.
显而易见的是， Of course.
几十年来，你听说过这些虚假的传闻： For decades, you've heardabcthe false rumors:
“朝鲜是一个失败的国家。 "North Koreaabcis a failed state.
我们不能养活我们的人民。“ We can't feed our people."
- 是啊。 - 这是所有的宣传。 - Yeah.abc- It's all propaganda.
我明白。嗯，是的，我的意思是... I see.abcWell, yeah, I mean...
我没有看到一个胖胖的孩子 I did see a fat kid
而一个真正好看的杂货店。 and a really nice-lookingabcgrocery store.
哦，我们有美丽的杂货店在这里朝鲜。 Oh, we have beautiful groceryabcstores here in North Korea.
你知道，我最喜欢做的事情之一 You know, one of myabcfavorite things to do
只是漫步向上和向下的过道 is just strolling upabcand down the aisles
看到我的国家的土地，美丽的果实。 to see the-the beautiful fruitsabcof my country's land.
我相信这一点。 I can believe that.
它看起来像你打杂货店相当频繁。 It looks like you hitabcthe grocery store pretty often.
拧你，戴夫。 Screw you, Dave.
- 嘿，你想看到一些很酷的东西？是啊。 - Hey, you want to seeabcsomething cool? -Yeah.
圣他妈的-A-莫利！ Holy fuck-a-moley!
是真的吗？ Is that real?
这是一个礼物，从斯大林爷爷。 It was a gift to myabcgrandfather from Stalin.
在我的国家，它的发音为“史泰龙”。 In my country,abcit's pronounced "Stallone."
你太逗了，戴夫。 You're so funny, Dave.
嗯，没错。 Uh, right.
好了，我们可以看看里面？ Well, can we look inside?
他妈的，是的，我们能做到。 Fuck, yeah, we can.
来吧。 Come on.
这是太酷了。 This is so cool.
- 一个坦克！ - 是啊，一个坦克。 - A tank!abc- Yeah, a tank.
哇！ Whoa.
它仍然活着？ Is it still live?
我不知道 I don't know.
也许我们应该找出来。 Maybe we should find out.
瞧...你有...音响系统会在这里？ Look... you have a...abcsound system in here?
哦，不，不，不。不... D-不要动。 Oh, no, no, no.abcDon't... d-don't touch.
- 凯蒂·佩里？ - 哦... - Katy Perry?abc- Oh...
哦，嗯......不，我的妻子一定已经把在那里， Oh, uh... no, my wifeabcmust have put that in there,
“因为我从来没有在我的生活才听到这个。 'cause I've never heard thisabcbefore in my life.
我喜欢Katy Perry的！ I love Katy Perry!
?宝贝，你是一个烟花? ? Baby, you're a firework ?
?来吧，表明他们明白你的价值......? ? Come on, show 'emabcwhat you're worth... ?
我爱......我的意思是，我有这个就... I love... I mean,abcI have this on...
我听这一切的时候。 I listen to this all the time.
- 真的吗？ - 我爱她！ - Really?abc- I love her!
你知道为什么我很喜欢她吗？ You know why I really like her?
因为...因为她有这样一个强烈的信息， 'Cause... because she hasabcsuch a strong message
年轻女性和整个星球的女孩。 for young women and girlsabcacross the planet.
她是一个......它是如此授权。 She's a... It's so empowering.
带了 Yeah.
你知道吗，戴夫，有时候我觉得自己像一个塑料袋。 You know, Dave, sometimes I feelabclike a plastic bag.
沙僧通过风？ Drifting through the wind?
想重新开始。 Wanting to start again.
哦 Oh.
?当你穿过拍摄? ? As you shoot across the ?
?天空，天空，天空...? ? Sky, sky, sky... ?
哦，美好的时光。 Oh, good times.
- 是啊。 - 是啊。呃，戴夫？ - Yeah.abc- Yeah. Uh, Dave?
你认为玛格丽特是同性恋 Do you thinkabcthat margaritas are gay
因为他们是如此甜蜜？ because they are so sweet?
是不是有人告诉你？这玛格丽塔是同性恋？ Did someone tell you that?abcThat margaritas are gay?
不，它只是一个问题，我有。 No, it's just a question I have.
如果喜欢凯蒂·佩里，喝玛格丽塔是同性恋， If liking Katy Perryabcand drinking margaritas is gay,
那么谁愿意直？ then who wants to be straight?
- 不是我。 - 无聊！ - Not me.abc- Boring!
玛格丽特是巨大的。 Margaritas are great.
无论谁栽在你的脑袋是疯了。 And whoever planted thatabcin your head is crazy.
让我问你点事 Let me ask you something.
难道这件事情还在运行？ Does this thing still run?
哦，伙计，这是伟大的，对不对？ Oh, man, this is great, right?
我们可以开火？ Can we fire the gun?
你以为我会取笑你，而不是把你所有的方式？ You think I'd tease youabcand not take you all the way?
- 真的吗？ - 关闭的那些事。 - Really?abc- Close that shit.
- 关闭舱门。 - 好。 - Closing the hatch.abc- Okay.
咚，咚，咚！ Boom, boom, boom!
噢, 该死的！ Oh, shit!
你他妈的，树！ Fuck you, tree!
控制室将一举多得 The control roomabcwill be fully staffed
以确保不间断传输。 to insure an uninterruptedabctransmission.
好了 All right.
这是杀死开关。 This is the kill switch.
在采访过程中，如果任何参数被侵犯， During the interview,abcif any parameters are violated,
我将用它切信号。 I will use itabcand cut the signal.
别担心，我们要坚持在这里的程序。 Don't worry, we're gonnaabcstick with the program here.
我将负责这款变速器的各个方面。 I will be in charge of everyabcaspect of this transmission.
Dave和表演本身都非常依赖我 Dave and the show itselfabcare very dependent on me
当涉及到我们如何真正拍摄节目。 when it comes to how weabcactually shoot the show.
我知道。我看过每一集 I know.abcI've watched every episode
在准备这次采访。 in preparationabcfor this interview.
哇！ Wow!
我特别喜欢 I particularly enjoyed
该麦莉赛勒斯骆驼趾插曲。 the Miley Cyrusabccamel toe episode.
哦，骆驼趾插曲。这是很好的。 Oh, the camel toe episode.abcThat was good.
我以前从来没有听说过这种表情。 I've never heardabcthis expression before.
但看到它之后，它是一个完美的 But after seeing it,abcit is a perfect
她的阴道的代表性。 representation of her vagina.
它是;它看起来完全一样，是的。 It is; it looked exactlyabclike that, yeah.
- 这是非常深刻的。 - 非常深。是啊。 - It's very deep.abc- Very deep. Yeah.
她有相当丰盛的麋鹿节。 She has quite aabchearty moose knuckle.
你们美国人是如此的创意与你的性影射。 You Americans are so creativeabcwith your sexual innuendos.
- 我们做的非常好。 - 许多动物引用。 - We do it very well.abc- Many animal references.
哦，是的，吨。 Oh, yes, tons.
请，走的问题，这个打印副本。 Please, take this printed copyabcof the questions.
这是至关重要的戴夫在面试前审查。 It's crucial Dave review themabcbefore the interview.
人员Koh和玉现在将带你 Officers Koh and Yuabcwill now take you
你的房间，在那里你会送达午餐。 to your room,abcwhere you'll be served lunch.
来吧，美国。时间变得更胖。 Come, American.abcTime to get even fatter.
哦，呵呵。大。 Oh, ha-ha. Great.
谢谢，伙计们。 Thanks, guys.
让你我的小韩婊子！ Making you my littleabcKorean bitch!
你打算怎么办？ What are you gonna do?
你要去砸在LA一些核武器？ You gonna dropabcsome nukes on L.A.?
- NUKE你的妈妈。 - 我敢打赌，他们甚至不能 - Nuke your mama.abc- I bet they can't even
使澳大利亚！ make it to Australia!
面对！ Face!
男人，这是太好。 Man, this is so nice.
让我问你点事 Let me ask you something.
现在，不要采取这种错误的方式。 Now, don't take thisabcthe wrong way.
你可以问我任何东西，戴夫。 You can ask me anything, Dave.
你尿尿便便和？ Do you pee and poo?
你听说过的故事，是吧？ You've heard the stories, huh?
是的，我尿尿便便和。 Yes, I pee and poo.
所以，你有一个屁眼。 So you have a butthole.
我有一个屁眼， I've got a butthole,
和它的加班。 and it's working overtime.
你真棒。 You are awesome.
你知道，这是如此的不可思议。 You know, this is so weird.
你一样，最酷的家伙。 You are, like,abcthe coolest guy.
但很多人 But a lot of people
说... say that...
你是蝙蝠粪疯了。 you're bat-shit crazy.
他们没有错。 They're not wrong.
我31岁。 I'm 31 years old.
，我运行一个国家的事实是蝙蝠屎疯狂。 The fact that I am runningabca country is bat-shit crazy.
嘿，我该怎么办 Hey, what am I to do
当2400万人 when 24 million people
看把我当成他们的领袖，他们的神？ look to me as theirabcleader, their god?
什么是我做的时候我父亲的遗愿 What am I to doabcwhen my father's dying wish
对我进行了火炬？ was for me to carry his torch?
哇哦。 Wow.
你想知道我的父亲对我说，在他临死的？ You want to know what my fatherabcsaid to me on his deathbed?
他说了什么，戴夫？ What did he say, Dave?
“我很失望， "I'm disappointed,
因为你没有用自己的生命做了足够的“。 because you haven't doneabcenough with your life."
这是一团糟。 That is fucked up.
是啊，告诉我一下吧。 Yeah, tell me about it.
乔丹！ Jordan!
噢! Oh!
- 他们叫我无能。 - 这正是他们 - They call me incompetent.abc- That's exactly what they
- 对我说，当我打进了本次采访。 -绝不。 - said about me when I scoredabcthis interview. -No way.
他们说，“戴夫云雀是愚蠢和无能。” They said, "Dave Skylarkabcis stupid and incompetent."
你是帅气，干练，风流倜傥。 You're handsome,abccompetent, suave.
他们怎么敢！ How dare they!
我假装喜欢他们的侮辱没有得到我。 I pretend like their insultsabcdon't get to me.
但他们做的。 But they do.
你知道什么是更具破坏性比核弹？ You know what's more destructiveabcthan a nuclear bomb?
话。 Words.
人民是嫉妒男人喜欢你和我。 And the people are jealousabcof men like you and me.
这是因为虽然他们看不起我们，因为他们不是我们。 It's as though they despise usabcbecause they are not us.
恨我们“因为他们不是我们。 Hate us 'cause they ain't us.
不错。 Exactly.
他们恨我们，因为他们不是我们。 They hate usabcbecause they ain't us.
- 这是一个伟大的说法，好不好？ - 恨我们“因为他们不是我们！ - That's a great saying, okay?abc- Hate us 'cause they ain't us!
他们恨我们，因为他们不是我们。 They hate usabcbecause they ain't us.
金！你猜对了，孩子！ Kim! You got it, boy!
好。好。空中接力！ Okay. Okay. Alley-oop!
噢! Oh!
这样很好。 That's all right.
- 没关系。 - 哦，我的脚踝。 - That's all right.abc- Oh, my ankles.
- 好。 - 嘿，金。 - Okay.abc- Hey, Kim.
让我问你点事 Let me ask you something.
是你的父亲是一个谁说，玛格丽特是同性恋？ Was your father the one who saidabcthat margaritas are gay?
他说，我和我的兄弟们都太女性化。 He said that my brothers and Iabcwere all too feminine.
我们豪华的生活方式把我们变成了同性恋。 That our luxurious lifestylesabcturned us into homosexuals.
我不担心这个问题了。 I don't have to worryabcabout that anymore.
因为你猜怎么着我得到吨。 Because guess whatabcI get tons of.
猫。 Pussy.
噢 我的天啊abcOh, my God. Oh, my God.
嘿。 Hey.
老兄，你刚花了一天他妈的 Dude, you just spentabcthe fucking day
与金正恩。发生了什么事？ with Kim Jong-un.abcWhat happened?
啊...... Ah...
这是惊人的。 It was amazing.
- “这是惊人的”？ - 是啊。 - "It was amazing"?abc- Yeah.
我觉得这是我生命中最美好的日子之一。 I think it was one ofabcthe best days of my life.
- 什么？ - 我们熏关节， - What?abc- We smoked joints,
打篮球， played basketball,
性交小鸡。 fucked chicks.
我们有最好的玛格丽塔酒。 We had the best margaritas.
你说你性交小鸡？ Did you say you fucked chicks?
噢 我的天啊abcOh, my God. Oh, my God.
金正日是一种动物。 Kim Jong is an animal.
你知道你要杀死这他妈的家伙明天，对吧？ You know you have to kill thisabcfucking guy tomorrow, right?
我一直在思考的任务一点点。 I've been thinking a little bitabcabout the mission.
好。 Okay.
美国，你知道， America, you know,
总是puttin'它在东西鼻子和screwin''时间了。 always puttin' its noseabcin things and screwin' 'em up.
事实是，金正日是个高手在操纵媒体。 The truth is, Kim is a masterabcat manipulating the media.
- 是啊。 - 你是媒体。 - Yeah.abc- You're the media.
你这里发生了什么？ You get what's happening here?
也许媒体的操纵你。 Maybe the media'sabcmanipulating you.
“也许媒体的MANIP ......”？ "Maybe the media's manip..."?
什么他妈的不，即使是什么意思？ What the fuck doesabcthat even mean?
我是谁花了实时与他的只有一个，好吗？ I'm the only one who's spentabcreal time with him, all right?
花了脸对脸的时间。 Spent face-to-face time.
迪克到家伙。 Dick-to-dick.
这只是，男人，我可以同情 It's just, man,abcI can sympathize
与人们被人抛弃在被媒体...它很烂。 with people that get dumped onabcby the media... and it sucks.
那么，你知道还有什么他妈的'很烂？ Well, you knowabcwhat else fuckin' sucks?
集中营，饥荒，射击队... Concentration camps, famine,abcfiring squads...
我没有看到任何在这里。你有没有？ I didn't see any here.abcHave you?
不 No.
您的参与，需要在宴会厅 Your attendance is requiredabcin the banquet room
永恒的领袖。 of the Eternal Leader.
- 嘿，你好吗？ - 是啊，认真对待。 - Hey, how you doing?abc- Yeah, seriously.
您正在寻找美妙。 You are looking fantastic.
你不健康的痴迷与我的幸福 Your unhealthy obsessionabcwith my well-being
只是让我更加怀疑你们两个。 is only making me moreabcsuspicious of you two.
- 你不必怀疑。戴夫：哦，不，不。 - You don't have to beabcsuspicious. -DAVE: Oh, no, no.
我只是想知道你的程序是什么，男人。 I just want to know whatabcyour routine is, man.
你看起来棒极了。你服用维生素或...？ You look fantastic.abcDo you take vitamins or...?
- 你在干什么事端的权利。 - 是啊，你看起来不错。 - You're doin' somethin' right.abc- Yeah, you look good.
不要问我们任何问题，更多。 Do not ask usabcany more question.
迎接我们的宴会厅。 Meet us inabcthe banquet hall.
你看他们的吉他有多大比较自己的身体？ You see how big their guitarsabcare compared to their bodies?
我觉得这很有趣。 I think it's funny.
这是有趣的。 That is funny.
哦，是的。 Oh, no.
它的发生。 It's happening.
戴夫。 Dave.
不 No.
- 等等，什么？ - 看福... - Wait, what?abc- Look at the fu...
他们是很好的。 They're good.
妈的。妈的。妈的。 Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.
CAW，CAW。 Caw, caw.
- 我们该怎么办？ - 他要去便便。 - What do we do?abc- He's gonna poo.
哦，不。哦，不。 Oh, no. Oh, no.
妈的。哦，不。哦，不。 Oh, shit. Oh, no. Oh, no.
它的发生。 It's happening.
所以毛。 So gross.
哦，不，不，不。 Oh, no, no, no.
哦，不！哦，不！ Oh, no! Oh, no!
哦，不。哦，不。 Oh, no. Oh, no.
这没关系，男人。 It's okay, man.
不 No.
得了，伙计 Come on, man.
我们只是杀了两个无辜的人。 We just killed two innocent men.
瞧，戴维，首先， Look, Dave, first of all,
这不是你的错，那些人死亡。 it's not your faultabcthat those men died.
其次重要的是，他们不得不去。 Second of all, they had to go.
他们知道我们是最多的东西。 They knew we wereabcup to something.
- 我出去。 - 什么？ - I'm out.abc- What?
- 你不能拉出来这一点。 - 我拉出。 - You cannot pull out of this.abc- I'm pulling out.
- 你太深拉出来。 -I'm普林'出来。 - You're way too deepabcto pull out. -I'm pullin' out.
不，你不是。你离开它英寸 No, you are not.abcYou are leaving it in.
我一直普林'了几年，儿子。 I been pullin' outabcfor years, son.
你是不是他妈的撤出这一使命。 You are not fuckingabcpulling out of this mission.
这是我们在这里的唯一原因。 That's the only reasonabcwe're here.
我们这样做！ We are doing this!
金正日是不是邪恶。 Kim is not evil.
他只是出生于一个难求的局面。 He was just bornabcinto a hard situation.
你他妈的傻了，你他妈的无知，戴夫。 You are fucking stupid, and youabcare fucking ignorant, Dave.
- 嗯！ - 唉！ - Mm!abc- Ugh!
- 你叫谁ign'ant？ - 你，混蛋。 - Who you calling ign'ant?abc- You, motherfucker.
你他妈的嚣张。 You're fuckin' arrogant.
他表示，你的一切都是假的。 Everything he'sabcshown you is fake.
你想看看他展示了。 He's shown youabcwhat you want to see.
他骗了你，你他妈的白痴！ He's fooled you,abcyou fucking idiot!
天啊，看看你是如何准备出卖我。 God, look how readyabcyou are to betray me.
这整个过程中我还以为你是Samwise我的佛罗多。 This whole time I thought youabcwere Samwise to my Frodo.
但是，你只是博罗米尔。 But you're just Boromir.
我不知道他妈的是谁。 I don't knowabcwho the fuck that is.
“我不知道博罗米尔是谁。” "I don't know who Boromir is."
这是这样的博罗米尔的说法。 That's such a Boromir thingabcto say.
这该死的完成。 This is fuckin' done.
你他妈的在这之后“完成。 You are fuckin' doneabcafter this.
一旦你杀了这个混蛋，这狗屎的结束。 Once you kill this motherfucker,abcthis shit's over.
但你会杀了他！ But you are going to kill him!
你刚刚把我变成一把枪，而你指着我 You've just turned me intoabca gun, and you're pointing me
在一个人究竟是谁得到我。 at the one guyabcwho actually gets me.
那么，你知道吗，牛仔吗？ Well, you know what, cowboy?
一支枪能不火没有没有子弹。 A gun can't fireabcwithout no bullets.
什么他妈的你在干什么？ What the fuck are you doing?!
- 不，不，不，不，不，不！ - 是的，没错！是的，没错！ - No, no, no, no, no, no!abc- Yes, yes! Yes, yes!
你知道你刚刚做了什么？ Do you realizeabcwhat you just did?
我只是救了一命，你的凶手。 I just saved a life,abcyou murderer.
- 你一块福的...... - 云雀先生。 - You piece of fu...abc- Mr. Skylark.
最高领袖要求您的光临 The Supreme Leader requestsabcyour presence
在一家餐馆在平壤吃饭。 at a restaurantabcin Pyongyang for dinner.
他将在30分钟内上门。 He will be at your doorabcin 30 minutes.
嘿，戴夫。 Hey, Dave.
感谢您对我在我悲伤的时候。 Thank you for being with meabcin my time of sorrow.
这是超级总值和性交行动。 That was super-grossabcand fucked-up.
嗨 Hi.
呃，最高领袖先生。 Uh, Mr. Supreme Leader.
我亚伦。 I'm Aaron.
- 亚伦？ - 您好。 - Aaron?abc- Hello.
呃，我们从来没有得到机会正式见面，伟大领袖先生。 Uh, we never got a chance toabcformally meet, Mr. Great Leader.
我只是想握你的手。 I just wantedabcto shake your hand.
好吧，戴夫的任何朋友是我的一个朋友。 Well, any friend of Daveabcis a friend of mine.
嗯。 Uh-huh.
不 No!
- 不要动摇手。 - 为什么不呢？ - Don't shake that hand.abc- Why not?
是啊，为什么不呢？ Yeah, why not?!
由于阿龙的一个犹太人。 Because Aaron's a Jew.
- 哦，总值。 - 让我们去，最高领袖。 - Oh, gross.abc- Let's go, Supreme Leader.
好。很高兴见到你。 Okay. It was niceabcmeeting you.
难道你不知道犹太人是运气不好？ Don't you know Jewsabcare bad luck?
你他妈的，你他妈的！ Fuck you, fuck you!
朋友不杀朋友的朋友。 Friends don't killabcfriends' friends.
好，好 Okay. Okay.
干 Oh, fuck.
拉波波特先生，我们需要回顾一些新数据 Mr. Rapoport, we need to reviewabcsome new data
该负责人希望包含在明天的采访。 the Leader wants includedabcin tomorrow's interview.
现在是不是真正的最佳时机。 Now's not really the best time.
它只会花一点时间。 It will only take a moment.
是的。 Yeah, okay.
- 伟大的。 - 谢谢。 - Great.abc- Thank you.
你想分享一杯吗？ Would you likeabcto share a drink?
提高你的眼镜。 Raise your glasses.
Koh和玉！ Koh and Yu!
苏梅和俞拥有最优秀的特质的人可以有： Koh and Yu possessed the finestabctrait men can have:
忠诚度。 Loyalty.
我知道你的感受。我的狗死迪格 I know how you feel.abcMy dog Digby died
当我还是个孩子的时候，我还在搞砸了这件事。 when I was a kid, and I'm stillabcfucked up about it.
忠诚是什么让我的父亲 Loyalty is whatabcmade my father
和爷爷如此成功。 and grandfatherabcso successful.
这是正确的。听好了。嘿，听着。你。 That's right. Listen up.abcHey, listen up. You.
没有忠诚度， Without loyalty,
一个国家是一个无法无天的丛林。 a country is a lawless jungle.
欢迎来到丛林，宝贝。欢迎来到丛林。 Welcome to the jungle, baby.abcWelcome to the jungle.
在您的SH-NNNNNN膝盖。 On yourabcsh-n-n-n-n-n-n knees.
我还能如何战胜那么多敌人？ How else can I prevailabcagainst so many enemies?
叛逃者。 Defectors.
韩国资本家。 South Korean capitalists.
人们在这个房间里...... The people in this room...
谁不认为我可以填补我父亲的鞋！ who don't think I can fillabcmy father's shoes!
这些混蛋应该没有人性！ These bastardsabcdeserve no humanity!
这些谁寻求破坏我， To those who seekabcto undermine me,
在国内外， at home and abroad,
我不能与任何回应少 I cannot respondabcwith anything less
比我的力量的总和！ than the totalityabcof my strength!
如果有十亿人在地球上，在我自己的国家 If a billion people across theabcEarth and in my own country
必须烧来证明这一点 must be burned to prove it
然后我老有所为金 then my worthiness as a Kim
将被证明！ will be demonstrated!
嗯... Um...
嘿，金，我要到外面去。 Hey, Kim, I gotta go outside.
这样行不行？我只是感觉“...... Is that okay?abcI'm just feelin'...
太多，呃，SS-烧酒，等等。 Too much, uh,abcs-s-soju, whatever.
好。 Okay.
我会回来。 I'll be back.
所以，你风你怎么作为负责人之一 So how'd you wind upabcas one of the heads
的，呃，独裁？ of a, uh, dictatorship?
啊。 Ah.
有一天，党的官员来到我的课堂 One day, party officialsabccame to my classroom
在寻找一名年轻女子 in search of a young woman
供职于金氏家族个人的工作人员。 to serve on the Kimabcfamily personal staff.
他们选择了我。 They selected me.
多年来， Over the years,
我从小亲近金正恩。 I grew closeabcwith Kim Jong-un.
当他上台，他带我和他在一起。 When he rose to power,abche took me with him.
而我在这里。 And here I am.
还挺有样，在我生命中的男人，太。 Kinda have a guy like thatabcin my life, too.
你已经与戴维很长一段时间。 You've been with Daveabca long time.
他是一个硬的家伙离开。 He's a hard guy to leave.
你只喜欢钱，不能说没有戴夫。 You just like the moneyabcand can't say no to Dave.
不 No...
是的！我知道你。 Yes! I know you.
你他妈的真棒。 You're fuckin' awesome.
- 不，我不理解你。 - 这是一个有点怪异。 - No, I don't understand you.abc- And it's a little bit weird.
我的意思是，你在这个国家的男朋友吗？ I mean, do you have a boyfriendabcin this country?
是我太期待用问吗？ Is that too forwardabcof me to ask?
什么是你在看？ What are you lookin' at?
- 我要离开。 - 为什么？ - I should leave.abc- Why?
我很担心我的感情吸引你 I'm concerned my feelingsabcof attraction for you
会导致我犯错误。 will cause me to make mistakes.
你的吸引力对我的感情吗？ Your feelingsabcof attraction for me?
这他妈的！ Fuck this!
自从我看见你上山顶， Ever since I saw you on thatabcmountaintop,
这是我一直在思考。 this is all I've beenabcthinking about.
就像我一样 Me, too.
假的。 Fake.
假胡萝卜。 Fake carrots.
假果！ Fake fruit!
假的！ Fake!
假葡萄柚！ Fake grapefruits!
假的！ Fake!
Liar!abc骗子！ Liar!
你这个骗子！ You liar!
为什么不是我裸体吗？ Why aren't I naked yet?
呃。 Uh...
- 啊哈！ - 是啊。 - Aah!abc- Yeah.
你毛茸茸的，你这么喜欢毛茸茸的熊！ You're hairy, you'reabcso hairy like a bear!
你他妈的性感的，是的。 You're fucking sexy, yeah.
你的乳头是如此的粉红色！ Your nipples are so pink!
是的，他们是。 Yes, they are.
我太幸福了！ I love it!
好了，不，哇，不！ Okay, no, whoa, no!
- 没有双手。 - 不动手？ - No hands.abc- No hands?
我不是为handsy狗屎。 I'm not into handsy shit.
这就是我喜欢它。 That's how I like it.
嗯… Well...
只是把它关闭。 Just take it off.
好。 Okay.
你说没有手！ You said no hands!
你他妈的打我你的手！ You fucking hit meabcwith your hand!
我如何得到它？ How do I get it off?
用你的大，胖美牙。 Use your big, fatabcAmerican teeth.
好吧，我会的！ Okay, I will!
这是真棒。 This is awesome.
哦，这是很难的。 Oh, this is hard.
妈的... Shit...
呵呵，狗屎，有什么不对？ Oh, shit, what's wrong?
号码我给你的马铃薯产量... The numbers I gave youabcon potato output...
被夸大了。 are exaggerated.
这跟我没关系。我真的不关心这个。 That's okay with me.abcI don't really care about that.
如果你愿意，你可以给我 If you want,abcyou can give me
实数，我们可以取回 the real numbers,abcand we can get back
- 以我们在做什么。 - 不，它不只是数字。 - to what we were doing.abc- No, it's not just the numbers.
我是一个可怕的人。 I am a terrible person.
不，你不是。你是最佳人选。 No, you're not.abcYou're the best person.
你要和我做爱。 You were aboutabcto have sex with me.
这就像最好的东西别人可以做的。 That's like the best thingabcsomeone could do.
我是一个极权专制的宣传。 I'm the propagandist of aabctotalitarian dictatorship.
这是一个区域，您可以改善， That's an areaabcyou could improve,
但是，你知道，你不必纠缠于它或任何东西。 but, you know, you don't haveabcto dwell on it or anything.
他残忍的父亲和祖父在他面前。 He's as cruel as his fatherabcand grandfather before him.
你这知道这整个时间。 You knew thisabcthis whole time.
这是为什么刚才打扰你了吗？ Why is this justabcbothering you now?
它已经困扰我很长一段时间， It's been botheringabcme for a long time,
而且我不是唯一的一个， and I'm not the only one,
但太多的人认为他是神。 but too many peopleabcsee him as a god.
你如何证明2400万人 How do you prove toabc24 million people
他们的上帝是杀人凶手和骗子？ that their god is aabcmurderer and a liar?
阿龙，我需要谈谈。 Aaron, I need to talk.
他妈的，这是戴夫...狗屎。 Fuck, it's Dave... shit.
你，你在那里躲起来，我会回来的。 You, you hide in there,abcI'll be back.
- 我会去对付他。 - 好吧，走，走，走... - I'll go deal with him.abc- Okay, go, go, go...
哦，该死 Oh, shit.
- 阿伦，你在这里？ - 是啊，1秒，呃，1秒。 - Aaron, are you here?abc- Yeah, one sec, uh, one sec.
- 一秒钟......不来，不来了！ -I需要谈谈。 - One sec... don't come in,abcdon't come in! -I need to talk.
咦，怎么样了，老兄？ Hey, how's it going, dude?
- 不好。 - 嗯，也许现在是 - Not good.abc- Uh, maybe now's
不是一个好时机，也许我们应该出去走走。 not a good time, maybeabcwe should take a walk.
不，不，不，不，我不能走这一关。 No, no, no, no,abcI can't walk this off.
我不能走这一关。 I cannot walk this off.
我需要... I need to...
我很生气他妈的。 I'm so fucking pissed.
我只是想打的东西！ I just want to hit something!
不，不！ No, no!
不，不要冲的东西！ No, don't punch anything!
呼吸。 Breathe.
只是呼吸，也许踱步出来。 Just breathe, maybe pace it out.
他妈的，伙计。 Fuck, man.
金。 Kim.
- 什 - 他怎么样？ - 他快要疯了。 - Wha-What about him?abc- He's going crazy.
他说，他要炸毁世界 He said he's goingabcto blow up the world
只是为了证明他是狗屎。 just to show that he's the shit.
起初，我以为， And at first, I thought,
“好吧，也许他只是说，你知道， "All right, maybe he'sabcjust talking, you know,
也许他并不意味着它。“ maybe he doesn't mean it."
然后我看到这个假他妈的柚子。 Then I saw this fakeabcfucking grapefruit.
什么？ What?
所有的食物在杂货店是假的！ All the foodabcin that grocery store is fake!
他他妈的骗我。 He fucking lied to me.
也许是，也许这孩子胖不胖。 Maybe that, maybe thatabcfat kid isn't fat.
我的意思是，哦，怎么样集中营？ I mean, oh, what aboutabcthe concentration camps?
和饥荒......也许这就是真实的。 And the famine...abcmaybe that's real.
上帝啊！ God!
这是......我已经告诉你几个星期了。 It is... I've been telling youabcthat for weeks now.
他他妈的honeydicked我。 He fucking honeydicked me.
他honeydicked狗屎了我。 He honeydickedabcthe shit out of me.
- 吮吸。 - 你仍然得到了毒药？ - Sucks.abc- You still got that poison?
你可以不说话？什么他妈的？ You can't speak?abcWhat the fuck?
我想知道，如果你有他妈的毒药 I want to knowabcif you have the fucking poison
- 所以我们可以杀死那个狗娘养的。 -什么?! - so we can killabcthat motherfucker. -What?!
哇，嗬，间谍！搞什么鬼?! Whoa, ho, spy!abcWhat the hell?!
- 她是站在我们这一边！ - 操是怎么回事？ - She's on our side!abc- Fuck's going on here?!
- 你可以相信我，我没事。 - 你可以信任她，男人！ - You can trust me, I'm okay.abc- You can trust her, man!
信任她？你在开玩笑？我们一定要杀死她。 Trust her?! Are you joking?!abcWe got to kill her.
- 哦，我的上帝，你在做什么？ - 伙计，我在床上与她！ - Oh, my God, what are you doing?abc- Dude, I was in bed with her!
- 什么?! - 我们挂钩。 - What?!abc- We're hooking up.
- 这就是为什么她在这里。 - 什么?! - That's why she's here.abc- What?!
让他走了。一切都很好。 Let him go; everything is fine.
现在，我们得到了杀你喜欢的女孩。 Now we got to killabcthe girl that you like.
这是最糟糕的时刻永远！ This isabcthe worst moment ever!
我们不杀她！ We're not killing her!
- 她是忠诚于金正日。 - 不！ - She's loyal to Kim.abc- No!
好家伙，她只是告诉我她和我们在一起。 Dude, she was just telling meabcshe's with us.
我讨厌金。 I hate Kim.
他是一个可怕的领先地位。 He is a terrible leader.
- 看到了吗？ - 好。 - See?abc- Okay.
她可以帮助我们杀了他。 She can help us kill him.
什么？不，不，不杀生。 What?abcNo, no, no killing.
金正日必须死。 Kim must die.
这就是美国人的方式。 That's the American way.
多少次在美国犯同样的错误？ How many times can the U.S. makeabcthe same mistake?
多少次，因为它需要。 As many times as it takes.
杀死金将不会改变任何东西。 Killing Kim won't changeabcanything.
你自己说的。 You said it yourself.
我们必须做什么，对不对？ We got to doabcsomething, right?
他将被替换。 He will be replaced.
他的兄弟，他有其他的将领。 He has brothers,abche has other generals.
人民需要 The people need
必须证明他不是神， to be shownabcthat he is not a god,
他是一个男人。 that he is a man.
然后，他们将准备改变。 Then they will beabcready for change.
是啊，怎么了？ Yeah, how?
采访他。 Interviewing him.
每个人都在朝鲜将密切关注。 Everyone in North Koreaabcwill be watching.
不......采访中的脚本。 No... the interview's scripted.
他的人永远不会让我问真正的问题。 His people are never goingabcto let me ask real questions.
戴夫，我是他的人。 Dave, I am his people.
她控制着广播。 She controlsabcthe broadcast.
我不能这样做的政治采访。 I can't do political interviews.
我做娱乐的采访。 I do entertainmentabcinterviews.
老兄，你他妈的能做到这一点。 Dude, you canabcfucking do this.
- 是吗？是啊，你不采访你的大脑。 - Yeah? -Yeah, you don'tabcinterview with your brain.
你采访你的心脏。 You interviewabcwith your heart.
- 真。 - 您的情感，戴夫。 - True.abc- Your emotion, Dave.
你金正恩为他妈的哭撒娇 You get Kim Jong-unabcto fucking cry like a baby
在所有的朝鲜面前？ in front of all of North Korea?
他们会知道他不是神。 They'll know he's not a god.
- 我想我能做到这一点。 - 你可以做到这一点。 - I think I can do this.abc- You can do it.
我戴夫云雀，我可以采访任何人。 I'm Dave Skylarkabcand I can interview anyone.
是的，你可以。 Yeah, you can.
让我们这个混蛋了！ Let's takeabcthis motherfucker down!
- 哦，上帝，哦，上帝！ - 呵呵，是啊！ - Oh, God, oh, God!abc- Oh, ah!
- 你有很多被压抑的能量！ - - You got a lotabcof pent-up energy! -
哦，上帝！ Oh, God!
好了，一切都准备好了。 Okay, everything's ready.
呃，你准备好石头？ Uh, you ready to rock?
Y型你记住所有这些事实？ Y-You memorize all those facts?
我准备好了，宝贝。 I'm ready, baby.
好嘛。 Great.
有多少人在集中营？ How many peopleabcin concentration camps?
200000。 200,000.
有多少人营养不良？ How many people malnourished?
1600万美元。 16 million.
他们花了8亿核武器去年 They spent $800 millionabcon nukes last year
并从联合国粮食援助了2亿美元。 and got $200 millionabcin food aid from the UN.
我得到了更多的地方是从何而来，宝贝。 And I got more whereabcthat came from, baby.
真的很好......你要钉这个狗屎。 Really good... you'reabcgoing to nail this shit.
- 我只是希望我们有一个他妈的逃生计划。 - 为什么我们不去 - I just wish we had a fuckingabcescape plan. -Why don't we go
- 日本吗？ - 嗯，“因为它是横跨日本海。 - to Japan? -Well, 'cause it'sabcacross the Sea of Japan.
- 我们为什么不游？ - 不能游泳了。 - Why don't we swim?abc- Can't swim that.
- 哦，我是一个很好的游泳运动员。 - 这是真的，真的很远。 - Oh, I'm a good swimmer.abc- It's really, really far.
- 人们都做到了。 - 都能跟得上。 - People have done it.abc- Nope.
- 是的，迈克尔·菲尔普斯做到了。 - 这是不正确的。 - Yep, Michael Phelps did it.abc- That's not true.
好。 -好。 Okay. -Okay.
云雀，两分钟的警告。 Skylark, two-minute warning.
只是让我在空中，只要你能。 Just keep me on the airabcas long as you can.
我会的，伙计。 I will, man.
也许我们不会离开这里。 Maybe we won't getabcout of here.
不，我们可能会死。 No, we might die.
我有一个伟大的生命。 I've had a great life.
我有最好的最好的朋友。 I had the best best friend.
性交女性多于艾伦德杰尼勒斯。 Fucked more womenabcthan Ellen DeGeneres.
现在是时候 And now it's time
对于朝鲜人民得到他们的迪克斯湿。 for the North Korean peopleabcto get their dicks wet.
这是一个完美的结局了告诉所有。 This is a perfect endingabcfor the tell-all.
由于两个最好的朋友盯着对方的眼睛， As the two best friendsabcstared each other in the eyes,
他们知道，这可能是 they knewabcthat this might be
长路的尽头， the endabcof the long road,
但是他们也知道 but they also knew
它们多少意味着彼此，并且即使 how much they meant toabceach other, and even though
没有人可以大声说出来， neither one could say itabcout loud,
他们都是思想...... they were both thinking...
我爱你 I love you.
好吧，伙计，你得到这个。 Okay, man, you got this.
好。 Okay.
开演时间。 Showtime.
戴夫。 Dave.
金。 Kim.
你准备好与世界分享 Are you ready to shareabcwith the world
你那美丽的微笑？ that gorgeous smile of yours?
今晚，我想这是你的微笑，他们希望看到的。 Tonight, I think it'sabcyour smile they want to see.
我有东西要给你。 I have something for you.
什么！ What?!
这些是什么？ What's this?
点击打开文件命令后。 Open.
胡... AW！ Aw... aw!
对我来说？ For me?
为了你。 For you.
哦！哦！哦！哦......！ Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh...!
哦，他只是喜欢迪格比。 Oh, he's just like Digby.
就像迪格比。 Just like Digby.
我想我会死的。 I think I'm gonna die.
- 哦，我的上帝...... - 不要死，请。 - Oh, my God...abc- Don't die, please.
不是直到采访结束后。 Not till after the interview.
这狗杀了我与可爱。 This dog is killing meabcwith cuteness.
- 他是疯狂的可爱。 - 我可以养吗？ - He's crazy cute.abc- Can I keep it?
带他回家，直到永永远远。 Take him home,abcforever and ever.
为什么会这样呢？ Why?
我过着孤独的生活，戴夫... I live a lonely life, Dave...
它温暖我的心脏就知道 and it warms my heart to know
有一个人在这个世界 that there is someoneabcin this world
我与他才能真正成为自己。 with whom I can truly be myself.
无论他们怎么说你？ Whatever they say about you...
......他们错了。 ...they're wrong.
我只是我，我尽我所能。 I'm just me and I do my best.
你是我的兄弟。 You're my brother.
让我们这一点的方式，好吗？ Let's get thisabcout of the way, okay?
- 好。 - 好。 - Okay.abc- Okay.
而我们该怎么命名你的，是吧？ And what areabcwe gonna name you, huh?
你需要一个名字吗？是的，你做的。 You need a name?abcYes, you do.
看，看。他看起来就像迪格比。 Look, look.abcHe looks just like Digby.
你得他妈的跟我开玩笑。 You gotta be fucking kidding me.
我们看到你在一分钟的时间。再见。 We see youabcin a minute. Bye-bye.
- 好吧... - 好吧。 - Okay...abc- Okay.
- 难道我们开始？ - 你准备好了吗？ - Shall we begin?abc- Are you ready?
他妈的闭嘴。 Shut the fuck up.
伙计们，它的开始！它开始。 Guys, it's starting!abcIt's starting.
而且我们在5 ... And we're on in five...
四，三...... four, three...
晚上好！ Good evening.
早上好给我们在世界各地的观众。 And good morning to our viewersabcaround the world.
我戴夫云雀。 I'm Dave Skylark.
感谢您加入我在历史上这个历史性的时刻。 Thank you for joining me forabcthis historic moment in history.
我与总统金正恩 I'm with President Kim Jong-un
朝鲜民主人民共和国。 of the Democratic People'sabcRepublic of Korea.
我们广播 We are broadcasting
从平壤的站外 from a stationabcoutside of Pyongyang
对于这个非常特别版： for this very specialabcedition of:
“云雀今晚。” "Skylark Tonight."
谢谢你来到我身边， Thank you for joining me,
总统金正恩。 President Kim Jong-un.
我很高兴，戴夫。 It is my pleasure, Dave.
你知道，有这么多的误解 You know, there is so muchabcmisunderstanding
关于朝鲜 about North Korea
并且，呃，我个人。 and, uh, me personally.
- 嗯，嗯。 - 我想不出一个男人 - Mm-hmm.abc- And I can't think of a man
比你更大的智慧。 with greater intelligenceabcthan you.
我很感激 I am grateful
这个机会对我的政府 for this opportunityabcfor my government
和国际社会 and for the internationalabccommunity
打造一个更好的关系。 to forge a better relationship.
所以，你要设置打抱不平。 So you want to setabcthe record straight.
事实上，戴夫。 Indeed, Dave.
摄像头三种。 Camera three.
你的国家之间的紧张关系 Tensions between your nation
和韩国正处于历史高位。 and South Korea areabcat an all-time high.
这是公平地说，你在武装冲突的边缘。 It's fair to say that you're onabcthe brink of armed conflict.
所以，我想知道的是： So, what I want to know is:
在巨大的压力的时代， In these times of great stress,
你做卡拉OK？ do you do karaoke?
是的，我做的，戴夫。 Yes, I do, Dave.
我相信这是对执政者重要 I believe that it is importantabcfor those in power
留在接触生活中的美。 to remain in touchabcwith the beauty in life.
你也是一个非常有成就的画家，不是吗？ You are also a very accomplishedabcpainter, aren't you?
好了，我怎么能不这样吗？ Well, how can I not be?
他读剧本的问题。 He's readingabcthe scripted questions.
他暂时平息他们，然后他得到它们。 He lulls themabcand then he gets them.
这是他的技术。 It's his technique.
美容指导您。 The beauty guides you.
它指导着我的手。 It guides my hand.
这是他妈的扯淡。 This is fuckin' bullshit.
让我们把它带到了严重的提示。 Let's take it to a serious tip.
最高领导人金正日，当... Supreme Leader Kim,abcwhen...
美国， the United States,
它有核武器的巨大库存， which has an enormous stockpileabcof nuclear weapons,
坚持认为，像你这样的国家有没有， insists that countriesabclike yours have none,
这是否觉得虚伪吗？ does that feelabchypocritical to you?
许多美国人不知道 Many Americans do not realize
在朝鲜的战争 that the war in North Korea
完全是美国的错。 was entirely the faultabcof the United States.
该死的！ Kim的呼唤我们出去！ Damn! Kim's callin' us out!
- 你真的还是希望？ - 不，不，我不是 - You really are still hopeful?abc- No, no, I'm not
希望可言。他完全救助的计划。 hopeful at all.abcHe's totally bailed on the plan.
美国，你做的这些韩国人？ America, what you doneabcto these Koreans?
这是一个有点尴尬。 This is a little embarrassing.
所以，当你认为所有的贵国已经通过了... So when you think of all thatabcyour country has been through...
战争，洪水...... The wars, the floods...
你认为你的人应该得到回报 do you think that your peopleabcshould be rewarded
他们的复原力和力量？ for their resilienceabcand strength?
当然，戴夫。 Of course, Dave.
那么你为什么不喂它们？ Then why don't you feed them?
嗯.. -mm ... Hmm.. -Mm...
呃......我...... Uh... I...
摄像头2。 Camera two.
请再说一遍？ I... beg your pardon?
你为什么不养活你的人？ Why don't you feed your people?
他们饿了。 They are hungry.
具体来说，其中三分之二的？ Specifically,abctwo-thirds of them?
是不是有点尴尬，因为你 Isn't that a littleabcembarrassing, since you're
一个他们认为的提供者，神？ the one they viewabcas a provider and a god?
你度过每8亿美元的核武器？ And you spend $800 millionabcon nukes every year?
和你有16亿人 And you have 16 million people
谁在挨饿？ who are starving?
你确定你不这样做，嗯... Are you sure you don't, uh...
意思是问我关于马铃薯的产量？ mean to ask meabcabout potato yields?
不，我想知道 No, I want to know
关于其他的事情，我刚才问。 about that other thingabcI just asked.
好吧，嗯，嗯，嗯... Okay, uh, well, uh...
戴夫，你已经看到了自己 Dave, as you have seenabcfor yourself
我们有食物在朝鲜大赏金。 we have a great bounty of foodabcin North Korea.
我看到了我自己 What I saw for myself
是假的杂货店 was a fake grocery store
用假胖孩子就在它前面的种植。 with a fake fat kid plantedabcright in front of it.
好吧，嗯，这是，呃... Okay, uh, this is, uh...
进攻线上的质疑。 an offensiveabcline of questioning.
我不认为这是进攻。我认为这是超级重要的。 I don't think it's offensive.abcI think it's super important.
显然，如果你不想回答这些问题， Obviously, if you don't wantabcto answer these questions,
你可以站起来走路了。 you can just get upabcand walk away.
我不能让你撤退。 I can't keep youabcfrom retreating.
- 他要去的按钮。 - 他不是。他坐在那里。 - He's gonna go for the button.abc- He's not. He's sitting there.
- 他不动。 - 他会为按钮。 - He's not moving.abc- He's going for the button.
他会为按钮，他会为按钮... He's going for the button,abche's going for the button...
他不是。妈的。他使??一招！ He's not. Oh, shit.abcHe's making a move!
别动，哥们！ Don't move, homie!
让你的手离开那里！获取那边！ Get your hand away from there!abcGet over there!
在那边！ Over there!
获取那边！ Get over there!
我将限制你！ I will cap you!
我爆炸的能量。 I'm exploding with energy.
我不能相信这是事实. I can't believeabcthis is happening.
我觉得这样活着现在。这是如此的真实。 I feel so alive right now.abcThis is so real.
他得到了他。太好了！ He's got him. Nice!
- 戴夫！戴夫... - 我知道你，金。 - Dave! Dave...abc- I know you, Kim.
戴夫... Dave...
也许你应该问的问题是： perhaps the questionabcyou should ask is:
如何有我设法让我的国家这么好，营养 How have I managed to keepabcmy country so well-nourished
尽管苛刻，不公正的经济制裁 despite the harsh and unjustabceconomic sanctions
由美国强加朝鲜？ imposed on North Koreaabcby the United States?
制裁？呃... Sanctions? Uh...
难道你不知道美国 Don't you knowabcthat the United States
有更多的嵌顿人均的人比朝鲜？ has more incarcerated peopleabcper capita than North Korea?
- 第但是... - 所以，也许，现在， - No. But...abc- So, perhaps, now,
你想返回 you would like to return
民事讨论我们原先商定。 to the civil discussionabcwe had originally agreed upon.
呃。 Uh...
不 No!
妈的！去摄像头一个！ Oh, shit! Go to camera one!
相机三！相机三！ Camera three! Camera three!
别动，哥们！ Do not move, homie!
给我的东西！给我他妈的什么！ Give me something!abcGive me fucking something!
―好的 Okay...
为什么？！ Why?!
他妈的！妈的，这伤害！ Fuck! Shit, that hurts!
我们没有集中营，戴夫。 We don't haveabcconcentration camps, Dave.
你见过一个人虐待 Have you seenabcone person mistreated
因为你的到来吗？ since your arrival here?
妈的！有人来了。 Oh, shit!abcSomeone's coming.
有人来了。 Someone's coming.
哦，他妈的！他妈的！ Oh, fuck! Fuck!
戴夫，除非你能告诉我一个人，一张照片 Dave, unless you can show meabca person, a photo
普遍的饥饿...... of widespread hunger...
阿龙！ Aaron!
不要用我的角度他妈的！ Do not fuck with my angles!
妈的！妈的！ Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
你他妈的了角度！ You're fucking upabcthe angles!
坐不住了！ Sit still!
走宽，摄像头2！ Go wide, camera two!
缓推！ Slow push!
谢谢！ Thank you!
面对它，戴夫，你已经失败了。 Face it, Dave, you have failed.
您所做的野生指控，但你已经证明什么。 You've made wild allegationsabcbut you have proven nothing.
你这漫长的旅程 You made this long journey
只是为了向世界表明他们是对你。 just to show the world that theyabcwere right about you.
你是无法进行真正的面试。 You are incapable ofabcconducting a real interview.
你是一个笑话！ You're a joke!
也许你是对的。 Maybe you're right.
是啊，它吮吸。 Yeah, it sucks.
因为我需要人们的认可。 Because I needabcpeople's approval.
拼命。 Desperately.
因为我永远无法得到它 Because I could never get it
从我的父亲，当我还是个孩子。 from my father when I was a kid.
但是，我看到了很多同样的事情在你身上，金。 But I see a lot ofabcthe same thing in you, Kim.
你的父亲...... Your father...
剥夺生命的最简单的乐趣你。 deprived you ofabclife's simplest pleasures.
他告诉你，玛格丽特是同性恋。 He told youabcthat margaritas are gay.
我对玛格丽特无可奉告。 I have no comment on margaritas.
那么你为什么不喝酒呢？ Then why don't you drink them?
我...不喜欢的大脑冻结。 I... don't like brain freeze.
你他妈的，戴夫。 Fuck you, Dave.
你他妈的混蛋。 You fucking asshole.
我只是给你一个问题。 I just haveabcone more question for you.
?你有没有觉得? ? Do you ever feel ?
?像一个塑料袋? ? Like a plastic bag ?
?漂流通过风? ? Drifting through the wind ?
?婉婷再次启动？ ? ? Wanting to start again? ?
那是什么？ What is that?
- 我不知道那是什么。 - 哦，对了，你怎么做。 - I don't know what that is.abc- Oh, yes, you do.
不，我不。我从来没有听说过我的生活。 No, I don't. I never heard thatabcbefore in my life.
?你有没有觉得? ? Do you ever feel ?
?感觉让纸薄? ? Feel so paper thin ?
?就像纸牌做的房子? ? Just like a house of cards ?
?一击，从塌陷？ ? ? One blow from caving in? ?
我不知道 I don't know
你在唱什么。 what you're singing.
你知道它到底是什么。 You know exactly what it is.
- 不，我不。 - 你不需要说谎了。 - No, I don't.abc- You don't need to lie anymore.
凯蒂·佩里是你的最爱！ Katy Perry's your favorite!
凯蒂谁？ Katy who?
我不知道你在说谁。 I don't know whoabcyou're talking about.
?你刚刚点燃? ? You just got to ignite ?
?光? ? The light ?
?而让? ? And let ?
?它闪耀? ? It shine ?
- 不合唱，请。 - ?以及自己? - Not the chorus, please.abc- ? And own ?
?夜? ? The night ?
- 停止！ ?喜欢它的七月四日? - Stop!abc? Like it's the Fourth of July ?
?'原因，吉米? ? 'Cause, Kimmy ?
- 停止！ - ?你是一个烟花? - Stop!abc- ? You're a firework ?
?你去展示他们明白你的价值? ? Go and show 'emabcwhat you're worth ?
?以及使'时间去? ? And make 'em go ?
?哦，哦，哦? ? Oh, oh, oh ?
?当你划过天空，YY航行? ? As you sailabcacross the sky-y-y ?
?吉米，你是烟花！ ? ? Kimmy, you're a firework! ?
不 No!
我不需要我的父亲！ I don't need my father!
我很坚强！ I am strong!
对不起/打扰一下。 Excuse me.
你刚才SHART？ Did you just shart?
不，我没有。 No, I didn't.
这是摄像头的家伙。 It was that camera guy.
不是我。 It wasn't me.
女士们，先生们， Ladies and gentlemen,
金正恩刚刚pooed Kim Jong-un has just pooed
在他的裤子。 in his pants.
让我们获得他妈的离开这里。 Let's get the fuck out of here.
是啊，我们走吧。 Yeah, let's go.
妈的，女孩。 Damn, girl.
你一个坏屁股。 You a bad-ass.
我还以为你是我的朋友，戴夫。 I thoughtabcyou were my friend, Dave.
我还以为你是我的朋友，金。 I thought you wereabcmy friend, Kim.
我想每个人都骗你。 I thought everyone liedabcabout you.
然后我看到了假柚子 And then I sawabcthat fake grapefruit
在假杂货店， in that fake grocery store,
我意识到你是假的朋友。 and I realized that you wereabca fake friend.
然后你说你会打击大家了 And then you saidabcyou were gonna blow everybody up
只是为了显示你是什么大家伙？ just to show whatabca big guy you are?
没有朋友将炸毁另一个朋友的国家。 No friend would blow upabcanother friend's country.
你只是一个有缺陷的男人 You're just a flawed man
有一个大的老屁眼。 with a big old butthole.
你尿尿和便便像我们的休息。 And you pee and pooabclike the rest of us.
好吧，告诉我这一点，戴夫。 Well, tell me this, Dave.
你是如此自大 Will you be so cocky
当我要杀你在全世界面前， when I slay you in frontabcof the whole world,
你洋基娘？ you Yankee motherfucker?
如果你拍我， If you shoot me,
你只是证明我的权利。 you'll just be proving me right.
你只是一个可怜的小男人。 You're just a sad little man.
戴夫！戴夫！不！ Dave! Dave! No!
这是戴夫云雀 This is Dave Skylark
签约了。 signing off.
再见，戴夫。 Good-bye, Dave.
哦，伙计。 Oh, man.
防弹背心。 Bulletproof vest.
全国联保！ Genius!
他还活着，大家好！ He's alive, everybody!
我操！ Oh, fuck!
坐上防弹背心！ Got a bulletproof vest on!
我不知道他是如何得到它，但他得到了它！ I don't know how he got it,abcbut he's got it on!
感谢您收看我的采访金正恩。 Thank you for watchingabcmy interview with Kim Jong-un.
这是戴夫云雀 This is Dave Skylark
签约了。 signing off.
不 No!
- 阿伦！ - 让我们获得他妈的离开这里。 - Aaron!abc- Let's get the fuck out of here.
等等. Wait!
小狗。 The puppy.
嘿，发生了什么事，以你的手？ Hey, what happened to your hand?
有人咬我他妈的十指关。 Someone bitabcmy fucking fingers off.
这就像佛罗多！ That's just like Frodo!
噢, 该死的！ Oh, shit!
别开枪！我有一个小狗！ Don't shoot! I have a puppy!
走！ Go!
哦，不！不！ Oh, no! No!
- 那是什么?! - 哦，哦，不！ - What is that?!abc- Oh, oh, no!
噢, 该死的！ Oh, shit!
哦，上帝！ Oh, God!
噢, 不！ Oh, no!
妈的！妈的！还有更多！ Oh, shit!abcOh, shit! there's more!
你是个英雄！ You're a hero!
谢谢你，先生！ Thank you, sir!
这是唯一的出路。 That's the only way out.
哎... Hey...
我有一个办法。 I have an idea.
跟我来。 Follow me.
这是凯蒂·佩里他妈的？ Is this Katy fucking Perry?!
刚刚离开它！它帮助我集中精力。 Just leave it on!abcIt's helping me concentrate.
呵呵，狗屎，是那些他妈的核武器？ Oh, shit,abcare those fucking nukes?
让我看一下！ Let me check!
哦，我们真的搞砸了！ Oh, we really fucked up!
他武装自己他妈的核弹！ He's armingabchis fucking nukes!
啊哈！他妈的！ Aah! Fuck!
云雀！ Skylark!
金！ Kim!
你他妈的！ Fuck you!
开火 Fire!
我一直在吃草！ I've been grazed!
- 怎么样的小狗？ - 小狗是好的！ - How's the puppy?abc- Puppy is okay!
您可以保护小狗用自己的生命。 You protect that puppyabcwith your life.
我们得做点什么！ We got to do something!
他要去他妈的杀了我们！ He's gonna fucking kill us!
我们在一个坦克！ We're in a tank!
他开枪了。 Shoot him back.
它的满载！ It's loaded!
让我们来烧烤这个混蛋。 Let's barbequeabcthis motherfucker.
三。 On three.
球在墙上，怎么就！ Balls to the wall,abcmotherfuckers!
咚，咚...... Boom, boom...
嘣！ Boom!
哦耶！ Yes!
是的！是的！ Yes! Yes!
哦耶！ Yes!
- 好。 - 好。 - Okay.abc- Okay.
就是这样。 That way.
这是一个老矿区隧道。 It's an old mining tunnel.
- 神圣的狗屎，那能够去？ - 韦斯特。 - Holy shit, where does that go?abc- West.
离开平壤。 Away from Pyongyang.
继续前进，直到到达海岸。 Keep movingabcuntil you reach the coast.
愿你俩运气。 I wish you both luck.
你听起来像你不和我们一起。 You sound like you'reabcnot coming with us.
- 是啊，塾....？ - 什么，你在做什么？ - Yeah, Sook....?abc- What-what are you doing?
我得去平壤。 I have to go to Pyongyang.
这是怎么回事右后卫变成了蛇坑。 That's going right backabcinto the snake pit.
我不能离开朝鲜。 I can't leave North Korea.
我只是帮助跳进这混乱。 I just helped plunge itabcinto chaos.
- 是啊是啊。 - 所以我们才。我没事带离开。 - Yeah, yeah. -So did we.abcI'm okay with leaving.
我要确保电力 I have to ensure that the power
不转移到不法分子手中。 does not transferabcto the wrong hands.
我不能否认 I can't deny
我们有一个化学反应， that we have a chemistry,
但我要留在这里为我的人民。 but I have to stay hereabcfor my people.
好。 Okay.
我很高兴见到你。 I'm glad to meet you.
好。 Okay.
吻她。 Kiss her.
吻她，纨绔子弟。 Kiss her, dude.
是啊，在那里得到。 Yeah, get in there.
哦... Ooh...
我很高兴见到你，亚伦。 I'm happyabcto have met you, Aaron.
我也爱你 You, too.
再见，塾。 Bye, Sook.
有乐趣的战争。 Have fun with the war.
- 好吧，这是明显的。 - 好。 - All right, it's clear.abc- Okay.
好了，在这里你去。 Okay, here you go.
- 你得到了他？ - 好吧......得到了他。 - You got him?abc- All right... got him.
带了 Yeah.
你出那么大，老的，可怕的孔？ You out of thatabcbig, old, scary hole?
我们在哪儿？ Where are we?
我不知道 I don't know.
这是中国吗？ Is this China?
我不知道。看起来像朝鲜。 I don't know.abcLooks like North Korea.
带了 Yeah.
男人。 Man.
- 嗯，哪条路是海岸？ - 我不知道。 - Well, which way's the coast?abc- I have no idea.
这是否做些什么？ Does that do something?
狗总是跑到海边。 Dogs always run to the sea.
- 这是不正确的。 - 你得去找寻大海。 - That's not true.abc- You got to find the sea.
我不认为那会发生，戴夫。 I don't thinkabcthat's gonna happen, Dave.
该死 Shit.
- 妈的！妈的！妈的！ - 保护小狗！ - Shit! Shit! Shit!abc- Protect the puppy!
- 保护小狗！ - 停止！这是他们。 - Protect the puppy!abc- Stop! It's them.
回声罗密欧五。 Echo Romeo Five.
回声罗密欧五，我们有接触 Echo Romeo Five,abcwe have contact
与蜣螂和土豚。 with Dung Beetle and Aardvark.
亚伦，戴夫，我是队长宋， Aaron, Dave, I'm Captain Sung,
- 海豹六队。 - 神圣的狗屎。 - SEAL Team Six.abc- Holy shit.
你怎么你们找到我们的？ How'd you guys find us?
我们使用GPS跟踪你 We tracked you using the GPS
- 在你的手表。 - 哦，我的上帝。 - on your wristwatch.abc- Oh, my God.
让我们来帮你的男孩回家。 Let's get you boys home.
噢 我的天啊abcOh, my God. Oh, my God.
为了你。 For you.
我？ Me?
是总统？ Is it the president?
奥巴马？ Mr. Obama?
不，只是我，代理莱西。 Nope, just me, Agent Lacey.
代理莱西。 Agent Lacey.
从你喜欢的耳朵。 Fancy hearing from you here.
我很喜欢你的采访，伙计们。 I enjoyed your interview, guys.
现在尽量不要他妈的你抽取。 Now try not to fuck upabcyour extraction.
回家安全。 Get home safe.
猜猜谁去美国，他们不吃小狗？ Guess who's going to Americaabcwhere they don't eat doggies?
- 你会得到所有的好东西， - 好吧，让我们只是去。 - And you get all the good stuff,abc- Okay, let's just go.
- 这是很好的。 - 让我们离开......我们能请到？好。 - and it's nice. -Let's getabcout... Can we please go? Okay.
让他们进来。 Get them in.
把狗。 Take the dog.
她honeypotted我。 She honeypotted me.
什么？你在说什么？ What? What are youabctalking about?
塾。 Sook.
想想吧，伙计。 Think about it, man.
我的意思是，她研究我，她勾引我， I mean, she researched me,abcshe seduced me,
她霸占我的计划，让他们自己。 she commandeered my plans,abcmade them her own.
我的意思是，她利用我。 I mean, she used me.
我承认它是为一样，一个真正的好他妈的原因， I'll admit it was for, like,abca really good fucking cause,
但她honeypotted我。 but she honeypotted me.
带了 Yeah.
好了，甩掉包袱。 Well, good riddance.
我讨厌那他妈的婊子。 I hated that fucking bitch.
真的吗？ Really?
不，只是认为这会让你感觉更好。 Nah, just thought it wouldabcmake you feel better.
这是你的真爱。 That was your one true love.
现在，她已经走了。 Now she's gone.
没有让我感觉更好。 Doesn't make meabcfeel any better.
那么，你有我们， Well, you have us,
和“我们WUV你。” and "we wuv you."
“我们AW WUV对方。” "We aw wuv each other."
“随着朝鲜海岸线 "And asabcthe North Korean coastline
“退去的距离， "receded in the distance,
“我们听到枪声的噼里啪啦。 "we heard the cracklingabcof gunfire.
“这是一场革命的开始...... "It was the beginningabcof a revolution...
“革命亚伦和我开始。 "a revolutionabcAaron and I started.
“当然，在这样的故事， "Of course, in a tale like this,
“你可能希望找到 "you might expect to find
“一些热点CIA "some hot CIA
“蜜罐 "honeypot
炸弹......“ bombshell..."
“......也许几个无人机 "...maybe a few drones
或中情局秘密观看。“ or a secret CIA watch."
你有Skype的！ You got Skype!
那么好，看你的脸。 So good to see your face.
等待，别人想打个招呼。 Wait, someone elseabcwants to say hi.
你猜怎么着，我们叫他？ Guess what we named him?
金正恩。 Kim Jong-un.
亚伦，这是一个生活一团糟，不是吗？ Aaron, that's a littleabcfucked up, no?
哦，这是超级搞砸了，但他很可爱，虽然。 Oh, it's super fucked up,abcbut he's cute, though.
“但是，有没有这一点。 "But there was none of that.
“没有。 "No.
“这是一场革命 "This was a revolution
“点燃与罢了 "ignited with nothing more
“比照相机 "than a camera
“还有一些问题。 "and some questions.
“的问题，导致一名男子 "Questions that led a man
“一旦尊为神 "once revered as a god
“凡人之中哭 "among mortals to cry
“和狗屎他的裤子。 "and shit his pants.
结束。“ The end."
谢谢 Thank you.abc字幕库首发abcwww.zimuku.net