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翻译: 糖衣楷书/石佛/小小c/alice/Geoff鲲
二次制作/校对:alanalg/Oliver/小小c/jinmy99
特效/压制:最沉重的负担/清野过客 总监:顿顿
今晚 Tonight...
我静坐石上 I sit on a rock...
詹姆斯一手遮目 James gets something in his eye...
喔 Oh!
理查德说 哎呦 妈呀 And Richard says, "Mummy!"
唔 妈呀 Oh, Mummy!
谢谢 你们好 Thank you, hello!
大家晚上好 非常感谢 Hello, good evening, thank you so much.
好了 现在 Thank you, now...
今晚的节目 Now, tonight's show...
异彩纷呈 Tonight's show is interesting
因为我们都露出原形了 because we have all sort of reverted to type.
稍后 哈蒙德在一条沙漠星光大道上 Later on, Hammond is in the desert driving like an idiot
傻帽般地驾驶一台又大又牛逼的越野车 in a large and flamboyant off-roader.
我在意大利北部体验一辆高贵优雅的跑车 I'm in northern Italy driving a rather elegant sports car
而詹姆斯 对了 我们要以他开头 and James, well actually, we are kicking off with James,
他正沉浸在幸福之中 who really is in his comfort zone
因为他正在一片二战时期的空军基地里 because he is on a Second World War air base
研究一辆上世纪50年代的车 talking about a car from the 1950s.
这是Stig 在2008年在我们赛道上 This is The Stig taking a Caterham to the ragged edge
把一台Caterham发挥到极限 on our track back in 2008.
那一圈的录像竟然在网上疯传 That particular lap is something of an Internet sensation.
它的浏览量超过了100次 It's been viewed over 100 times
如此流行的主要原因在于 and one of the reasons it's so popular is
它是一台Caterham R500 because that is the Caterham R500,
他们家有史以来最强劲的车 the most powerful and extreme car they have ever built.
不对 是在此之前 Or, rather, it was.
因为这辆车刚刚夺去了它的王冠 Because its crown has just been stolen by this.
全新的Cateram 620R The brand new Caterham 620R.
老款的500有263马力 Where the old 500 had 263hp,
它却有310马力 this has 310.
由于它只有545kg重 And since it weighs just 545kg,
它的功率质量比超过了布加迪威龙 it has a better power to weight ratio than a Bugatti Veyron.
我驾驶过布加迪 But I have driven a Bugatti Veyron
不得不说那台车非常规矩 and I have to say it was very civilised.
试一下这台车 Let's see how this compares.
喔 Oh!
天呐 啊哦 Bloody Nora! Oh!
太凶残了 God that's brutal
看不清了 I can't see!
噢 喔 Oh! Ow!
苍天在上 这 God above, that's not...
这可不像加速 That's not like acceleration,
这像是坐在足球里被人开了个大脚 that's like being in a football and somebody kicks it.
戴上头盔和风镜来替代挡风玻璃 'With a helmet and goggles deputising for the windscreen,
我又一次坐进620R的座舱 'I tried once more to get to grips with the 620R.'
显然 从我的叫喊声你能看出 Obviously, you can tell from the way I'm screaming at you,
这台车的声浪大得吓人 the racket in here is tremendous.
甚至很难呼吸 It's quite difficult to breathe.
这并不惊人 因为0-96kph加速仅需2.8秒 'That's hardly surprising since 0-60 takes just 2.8 seconds.
过弯的时候你大气都不敢出 'And it's not like you can get your breath back in the corners.'
天呐 Geez.
好了 这次 看我 Right, this time, watch this.
哦 不要再这样 抱歉 Oh, not again. Sorry.
这段片子回去好好剪辑一下 There'll be a lot of editing to do on this piece.
你要开上几个月才能真正驾驭这辆620R 'Stick at it for several months and you can bring the 620R to heel.'
我居然完整地开了一圈 I've done a whole circuit!
当你细心打量它时 它还是不错的 'And when you get your eye in, it's not a bad car.'
它还是一辆Caterham It's still a Caterham.
焕然一新 非常棒 It's all very crisp. Very nice.
很棒的序列式变速箱 Fantastic sequential gearbox.
只是要费不少力气 'It's just that it's too much hard work.'
问题在于动力的源源不断 The trouble is this is power piled on power.
简直无法无天 It can barely contain itself.
就像网吧里放了假的中学生 It's like a teenager left alone with the Internet.
车轮和悬挂只能勉强 The wheels and the suspension can only just
跟上动力 keep up with what's going on.
这不科学 It's not supposed to be like this.
这只是台小跑车 It's just a little sports car!
不过 对于这个问题 我想到了对策 'However, I think I have an answer to the problem.'
你看 我认为 想造一台简单纯粹的车 You see, I think if you're going to build a minimalist car,
你要将性能和操控 you need to take a minimalist approach to performance
做到极致 and handling, as well.
而不是简单地提升动力 It's no good just piling on more and more power,
就好像要改善咖喱的味道 that's like trying to improve a curry
却放更多辣椒 by putting more and more chillies in it.
我要说的是 呃 What I'm trying to say is, well,
Caterham得找一家更好的印度餐厅 Caterham needs to find a better Indian restaurant.
好在Caterham这次想在我前头了 Fortunately it seems they're ahead of me on this one.
除了这辆新的动力最强的车 Alongside their new, most powerful car ever,
他们还造出了这个 they've also come up with this,
史上动力最小的车 their least powerful car ever.
它叫160 It's called the 160
只有一台80马力的 and it has just 80hp
铃木三缸涡轮增压引擎 from a tiny turbocharged three-cylinder Suzuki engine.
引擎做的小 价格也很便宜 So the engine is much smaller but then so is the price.
620R要卖5万英镑 The 620R is £50,000.
它才17000英镑 This is just £17,000.
因此 0-100kph要花上7秒 Admittedly, 0-60 takes a gentle seven seconds
极速只有160kph and the top speed is only 100.
但这不是重点 But that's not the point.
极速 加速 这些不过是数字 Top speed, 0-60, they're just numbers.
本身毫无意义 They are meaningless in themselves.
能否激起驾驶乐趣才是关键 What matters is whether or not they add up into a sensation
驾驶这辆车就其乐无穷 and this delivers a tremendous sensation.
160的乐趣之源是这套超级窄的轮胎 The key to the 160's sense of fun is a set of super skinny tyres.
它们只比压缩袋宽一点 They are only a tiny bit wider than a space saver.
所以你只要动动脚趾 So you only have to twitch your foot a little bit...
就能像哈基宁一样漂移 ..and you can slide around like Mika Hakkinen.
哦 真棒 看我 Oh, lovely! Look at me.
要是把轮胎玩爆了 When you have worn your tyres out,
换胎每条只要40镑 they're only 40 quid each to replace.
就连Stig这个对所有动力不足500马力的机械 Even The Stig, who normally turns his snout up at anything
都嗤之以鼻的家伙 都给它点赞 with less than 500hp, had an absolute ball.
它装上了挡风玻璃 It has a windscreen.
油耗可达百公里4.7升 It'll do over 50 miles to the gallon.
据我所知 As far as I'm concerned,
这是Caterham造过的最棒的车 it's the best car Caterham has ever made.
其实 它只有一个缺点 In fact, there's only one thing wrong with it.
就是外观 The way it looks.
比起Ariel Atom，BAC Mono这些 Next to the latest stripped out sports cars like the Ariel Atom,
新型轻量跑车 它就像是邮电局里的 and the BAC Mono, it sits a bit like a typewriter
电报机 in an Internet cafe.
我不知道他们能不能做些改进呢 I wonder if they could do something about that?
这次他们又想在我前头了 As it happens, they're ahead of me on that one, too.
这是AeroSeven This is the AeroSeven.
由Caterham F1车队协助开发 It's been developed with the help of the Caterham F1 team.
重点是 这可不是为了 The great thing is, it isn't some static papier mache one-off
应付车展做出来的样子货 built for a motor show stand.
你怎么看？ What do you think of this, then?
绝对符合Caterham的品味要求 Positively down on gastrique by Caterham standards.
还有 你明白 电报机进化成传真机了 The next thing you know, they'll have a fax machine.
AeroSeven在未来一年内不会量产 The AeroSeven isn't going into production for a year or so.
在此之前 还有一个关键问题要解决 Before it does, there's one major thing they need to fix.
啊 Ow!
我擦 Cock!
没有风挡 It hasn't got a windscreen!
真没用 Useless!
他们造过的最棒的车 The best car they've ever made?
据他说 是的 -那么 According to him, it is. Well...
这是他们最棒的 The best car they've ever made?
最慢的车 Slowest...
那么 詹姆斯 So, James, er...
你不喜欢没有风挡的车 So you don't like cars without windscreens?
是的 我恨它们 这是汽车史上 No, I hate cars without windscreens. That is the most idiotic idea
最二的设计 不是吗 意义何在 in the whole history of motoring, isn't it? What is the point?
造辆没有风挡的车有什么好的 What advantage is there of building a car without a windscreen?
就像是潜水的时候不戴潜水镜 鱼儿就会不停地撞在你眼睛上 You might as well have a snorkel mask with no glass in it and you get hit in the eyeball by fish.
傻得没下限了 It's that idiotic.
詹姆斯 在你长出动脉瘤之前 James, before you have an aneurysm, there are one or two points
我和哈蒙德想就你的 that Hammond and I would like to make
测试录像说两句 about some of the things you said in that film.
哈蒙德 你想先来吗 Hammond, do you want to go first?
好 在你片子的4分58秒处 Yeah, four minutes and 58 seconds into your film,
谈到加速数据时 whilst referring to acceleration figures,
你说"这些只是数字 毫无意义" you say, "they are just numbers, they're meaningless."
的确啊 你竟然这么说 They are. You would say that!
詹姆斯 但是百公里加速2.8秒的车 James, but a car that accelerates from 0-60 in 2.8 seconds
-就是比百公里加速7秒的强 -不 我说的是 is better than one that does it in seven seconds. No, what I was actually saying...
还有 3分51秒处 Also, at three minutes 51,
我提炼一下 你说增加动力就像是 you say and I'm paraphrasing here, that giving it more power
-给咖喱加辣椒来改善它 -嗯 is like trying to improve a curry by adding more chillies. Mmm.
-你就是这么改良咖喱的 -不 不是 -就是 That is how you improve a curry! No, it isn't. It is.
记得学校卖的咖喱鸡吗 Remember the chicken curry from school,
总是在加辣椒 就是要加料才行 it was screaming for more spice, it's what it needed is more.
詹姆斯 在5分29秒处 Yes, then James at five minutes and 29 seconds,
你说你像哈基宁一样漂移 you said you were sliding around like Mika Hakkinen.
-我是啊 -对 但你看 哈基宁是F1车手 I was. Yes, but you see Mika Hakkinen is a Formula 1 driver
他们不漂移的 and they don't slide around.
是 可上次他带我试驾 他就是漂移了 Yeah, but when Mika Hakkinen took me out for a drive, he did slide around!
-那他也不是因为这个出名的 -没错 Yes, but he's not known for sliding around. No, exactly.
他收集陶瓷青蛙 但你没必要说 He might collect porcelain frogs but you don't go around saying,
"我像哈基宁一样收集陶瓷青蛙" "I'm collecting porcelain frogs like Mika Hakkinen right now."
这毫不相干啊 It's not relevant. Exactly!
-你说完了吗 -还没 Have you quite finished? Well, not really
因为还有好多槽点 because there's a lot to go through but,
但现在 我们要看看这些车在我们的赛道上能跑多快 sadly, we must now find out how fast these cars go round our track
当然 这意味着要把它们 and that, of course, means handing them
交到一个真正会开车的人手里 over to a man who can actually drive!
有人说他曾经把海伦·米伦放进了洗碗机 Some say that he once put Helen Mirren in a dishwasher.
还有 他被禁止参加冬奥会的 And that at the Winter Olympics he was disqualified
钢架雪车项目 因为他趴在了一副真人的骨架上 from the skeleton event for riding down the hill on an actual skeleton.
他就是Stig! All we know is he's called The Stig!
他出发啦 And they are off.
赛道有点滑 可能会影响他的速度 Oo, it's a bit damp out there, that may slow them down a bit.
620R建立了领先 620R building up a command...
哦 另外一台车也进入了镜头 Oh, no, there was the other one coming into shot...
在最后一刻 at the last moment.
他把620R驾驭的非常好 First corner in, the 620R, he's handling that well.
仍然控制住了 No, still...
我们刚看到另外一台车 Yes, we just saw the other one.
他到了这里 现在他今天没有音乐听了 And here he is, no music, obviously, to listen to today.
只有620R的那台 Just the sound of that
2.0升福特Duratec two-litre Ford Duratec engine,
机械增压引擎的声音 supercharged in the 620R.
他们没有使用BAC Mono上的那台2.3升引擎 They don't use the 2.3 that they use and the BAC Mono.
他出现在了远处 Here he is at the back!
因为它太高了 Cos it's too tall.
现在他正挣扎于如何发挥引擎的动力 He is actually struggling to get the power down.
但是他很好地控制住了 But he is getting it down.
完美 Beautifully.
到了全油门弯 Right, Follow Through next.
他显然抬起了油门 Here he is, definitely lifting off.
这绝对是Stig经典的 This is a magnificent example of car control
控车展示 至少是其中一个Stig from The Stig, in one of them at least!
因为另外一个并没有出现 The other one simply not there.
很好 Right, just...
天啊 快看 Oh, good God, look at that.
几乎在出弯的时候失控 Nearly losing it at the exit of the Follow Through.
完美地操控进入甘邦弯 Handling it nicely coming through into Gambon.
在弯角之前利用反打方向 Getting some opposite lock on before the corner
然后通过终点线 and across the line!
我们很期待詹姆斯最喜欢的车完成比赛 We just have to wait now for James's favourite car to finish.
所谓的卡特汉姆生产过的最好的车 来了 "The best car Caterham have ever made"... there it goes.
现在它随时都会通过终点 Any minute now, it'll be across the line.
大家yy一下 OK, talk among yourselves.
好 他来了! And there it is!
湿滑的赛道 所以我们并不打算能破什么记录 Wet lap, so we're not expecting any records,
当然我现在已经拿到了成绩 we certainly haven't got them.
那台你不喜欢的620R Right the 620R, the car you didn't much like.
跑出了1分22秒3 That did it in 1:22.3.
路况和时间都和雷克萨斯LFA差不多 Similar conditions, similar time to the magnificent Lexus LFA. OK?
你喜欢的那台车 Now your favourite car...
则没有那么快 Not quite so fast.
没别的说法 There's no other way of saying this,
只有1分45秒5 所以是这里 it was a 1:45.5, so it's there.
其实比木制的摩根三轮车还慢5秒钟 It's actually five seconds slower than Morgan's wooden tricycle.
所以仍然是你更喜欢的那个 Good. And that's your favourite car?
是的 Of those two, yeah.
现在播新闻 And now the mews.
新闻就是等一会儿节目里 and the news is that later on in this programme
杰里米要向我和詹姆斯证明汽车要比自行车更好 Jeremy is going to try and prove to James and me that cars are better than bikes.
-因为它们的确更好 -但它们并没有 Well, that's because they are. Well, they're not.
它们绝对是 汽车要比自行车更暖和 Oh, yes they are.They're warmer than bikes,
不用支架固定 they stand up by themselves.
而且你还不用穿着紧身衣 You don't have to wear rubber trousers.
-它们更快 -没有更快! They're faster.Not faster!
-过弯更快 -但走直线就慢 They are around corners. Well, not in a straight line.
更快 接下来我就证明他们走直线也更快 Yes, you see, that's what I'm going to prove later on that they are faster in a straight line.
-是么? -是的 -是么? -是的 Really? Yes, I am. Really? Yes, I am,
但现在我们要播正常的新闻 好吗 But now we're going to do the proper news, OK?
世界上有不少展示蠢东西的博物馆 Now you know all around the world there are museums for all sorts of silly things.
在坎布里亚郡有一个铅笔博物馆? There's a pencil museum in, is it Cumbria?
是的 一座铅笔博物馆 Yeah, it is. Yeah, a pencil museum.
西班牙有雨伞博物馆 日本有木耳博物馆 There's an umbrella museum in Spain and a museum of the vagina in Japan.
冰岛有黄瓜博物馆 There is a penis museum in Iceland.
-我去过一次 -那里很冷 展品都很小 Been there. It's very cold, all the exhibits are very small.
我之所以提到这些是因为美国有一座克尔维特博物馆 The reason I bring this up is because,in America there is a Corvette museum OK?
这是那里的照片 there is a photograph of it here.
大家都知道 美国的克尔维特粉都比较...大块头 As we all know the Coevette enthusiasts in America is quite... Heavy.
-他们都是超大号 -个子大 Yes, they're bigger gentleman. Big-boned.
其中一人这个星期去了那里 发生了这个 Well, one of them visited the museum this week and this happened.
-绝对是个大家伙啊! -这么大个洞 Must have been a big one! That was a big hole.
掉下去了8台车 And apparently, eight cars fell into it.
-看这张俯视照片 -哦天啊 太痛苦了! There's a shot actually looking down. Look at that. Oh, God, that's painful to see!
-预计损失37美金 -是么?是么? Damage was estimated at $37. Was it? Was it?
不过我们也不应该嘲笑别人 But actually, we shouldn't mock
因为本周在M2高速上也出现了一个陷坑 你看到了么 because you know there was a sinkhole, which is what this is, that opened on the M2 this week,did you see?
就在中心隔离带 他们把路封闭了18个小时 On the central reservation?They closed the motorway for 18 hours.
都那样子了 博物馆却继续开放 真的! That, they kept the museum open. They did!
因为你仍然能看见展车啊 只要... Well, you can still see the cars. Yeah, you just...
我想我们应该致敬美国人 因为这才是面对健康与安全的好态度 I think we should applaud the Americans for that because that's a good attitude to health and safety.
-你们干的好 -我跟你说吧 It is. Well done, you. Oh, now, I tell you what,
我突然想起了一件别的事情 I've just remembered something else.
最近我们讨论过那些闪着婆婆妈妈信息的高速显示屏 Recently,we were talking about,um,those motorway gantry signs that flash up idiotic nannying messages.
这周在美国有一块显示屏 There was a sign photographed in America this week, OK,
我想是在德州 当时路面有轻微的积雪积水 I think it was in Texas.There was a light snow flurry and some wag,
然后一个有才的人 发了条这个 and this is brilliant,posted this.
"上帝啊!那是雪么?我们都要挂了!" "Oh my God! Is that snow? We're all gonna die!"
-这才象样! -太棒了 That's more like it! It's just fabulous.
但事实上 这才是我们应该做的 因为这就叫英国范儿 But actually, that is what we should do. Because that is the British way.
自贬自嘲 苦中求乐 -嘲笑一切规章制度 Self-deprecating,make fun of the situation,have a laugh. Make fun of the rules and regulations.
我不知道是谁写的这个 不过如果你在看 以后你要是来英国 I don't know who did this, but if you're watching and you ever come to England,
-我会请你喝啤酒 -我还在上面给你加颗草莓 I would like to buy you a beer. I'll put a strawberry on it for you.
我刚刚收到了一封信 我可以读给你们听么? Now, I've received a letter. May I just read it to you?
"亲爱的克拉克森先生" 你绝对会喜欢这个的 "Dear Mr Clarkson..." You're going to love this.
"我代表举世闻名的杜莎夫人蜡像馆" "I'm writing to you on behalf of the world-famous Madame Tussauds.
-他们不会是要 -是的! "Oh, they're not going to... Yes, they are!
-你一定是在开玩笑!不要啊! -要的! Oh, you're joking!Oh, no! Yes they are.
他们说有人非常想 非常想做我的蜡像 They say I have been highly requested,highly requested,to be immortalised in wax.
你确定人家没说把你封蜡里面么? You sure that doesn't say immersed in wax?
只是蜡像 No, immortalised in wax.
他们该怎么给你做蜡像?他们去哪里弄这么多的蜡? How are they going to immortalise you in wax? Where are they going to get all the wax?
也许为了做你一个蜡像就要先把其他人都融掉 Presumably they'll have to melt down everything else in Madame Tussauds
来做一个庞大又狰狞的假蜡人 to make one massive hideous wax dummy... Of a hideous dummy.
很简单 他们买一根超大蜡烛 点燃之后 It's easy, they just get a very big candle, they light it,
让烛泪滴上几小时 然后画张脸上去就好了 let it drip down the edges for a couple of hours, then just draw a face on it with felt tip.
那还真像他了 做好蜡像以后他们怎么办啊 That would look a bit like him. What are they going to do with it when they've got it?
想象下小朋友们 "我们要去杜莎夫人蜡像馆啦~" Imagine children, "We're going to Madame Tussauds!
"那是什么?" 啊啊啊—— What is that?" Aaaagh!
这将成为史上第一个用镐凿出来的蜡像 It's going to be the first waxwork in history to be sculpted with a pickaxe.
是的 还有一个锤子 我想看他们做形 因为你想一下 Yes! And a hammer. I want to see them sculpting it, cos imagine,
一旦他们融化了足够多的蜡 很多啊 就像一个瓮那么多 once they've melted down enough wax, which is a lot, the size of the urn,
那看上去就像指环王里的场景了! it'll look like a scene from Lord Of The Rings!
小半兽人在下面走来走去 准备着... With all these little orcs walking around the bottom, getting ready...
一大坨蜡 做这个又大又丑磕碜人的东西! A big pour, to create this hideous, hideous, grotesque, enormous thing!
他们怎么放得下? 不 别放在那里 送到自然历史博物馆去 How are they going to fit it in? No, don't put it there, put it in the Natural History Museum.
就放在大雷龙骨架旁边 最好啦 Better still,next to the big brontosaur!
就是一个骨架 Just a big skeleton.
就是雷龙旁边的一个大骨架 Just a big skeleton next to the brontosaur,
霸王龙见了 也问这什么鬼东西 a big tyrannosaurus- what-the-hell-is-that?
然后人们就可以来参观 And then people can go and watch.
观众朋友们 我同事的语言里充满了羡慕嫉妒恨啊 Ladies and gentlemen,the sound of bitterness and jealousy. My colleagues, there.
多希望我没提过这件事 I wish I hadn't brought that up.
也许上周你们注意到了 一台叫做Zenvo的丹麦超跑来到这里 最后着火了 As you probably noticed last week, a Danish supercar called the Zenvo came down here and caught fire.
很多人都感到震惊 A lot of people were very shocked by that
但事实上 每款昂贵的车在发布伊始着火都不是新鲜事 but actually, it's not unusual for expensive cars to catch fire when they're first released.
法拉利458就有过这个问题 Ferrari had a problem with the 458.
这个星期我们又听说保时捷GT3也遇到这问题 And then just this week, we've been hearing about Porsche GT3 problems.
这里有一张来自瑞士的照片 There's a shot here of one in... Of one in Switzerland.
现在网上充斥着各种这样的流言 The internet is awash with rumours of other examples of this.
保时捷自己也承认在意大利发生过这种事 Porsche themselves admit it has happened in Italy as well.
因此他们暂停了新GT3的交付 And have now suspended deliveries of the new GT3 to customers.
但是如果你已经提走了 你那台全新的... But what if you'd already taken delivery of your brand- new...
你那台随时可能着火的崭新GT3呢? Your brand-new expensive GT3 that might catch fire at any moment?
那这要找个车主问问不是么 Well, we really need to ask a customer, don't we,
-谁刚提了一台GT3呢? 哈蒙德! -干啥? who's just done that? Hammond! What?
-你刚提了 一台GT3不是么 -是的 You've just had a GT3 delivered, haven't you?Yes!
闭嘴 不要再说了 谢谢 换话题 Shut up, stop talking about it. Thank you, move on.
-一定很郁闷吧 -是的 It must be so depressing. Oh, God. Yes, it is.
-如此辛苦搬砖买到的梦想之车居然瞬间一文不值了 -天啊 To have worked so hard to buy your dream car that is then immediately valueless. Oh, God!
-为了给你打气 哈蒙德 我给你买个小礼物 -是么? So to try and cheer you up, Hammond, I've bought you a small present. Oh, have you?
-谢谢 我很喜欢你的礼物 -做节目我们一般不给对方买礼物 Thank you, I love your gifts. We don't often buy each other presents on this show
但是今天我却这么做了 but I've done just that today. Mono...
-这是一副带有GT3 Logo的驾驶手套 They're actually GT3 branded driving gloves.
-微波炉手套 谢谢 笑死我了 呵呵 Oven gloves. Thank you. Funny. Ha-ha-ha-ha!
-然后 还有呢 -求你别说了 And... Doesn't just stop there. Oh, please let it stop.
我觉得你的车需要一层人类历史上最阻燃材料制成的外套 I think we need to coat your car in the most fire retardant material known to man.
-比萨饼 -哦 不要再提你的比萨理论了!那是世界上最蠢的一个理论 Pizzas. Oh, not your pizza theory! It's one of his stupid theories.
-哈蒙德 跟我来 -真的么? -这是你的那台GT3 Come on, Hammond, come with me. Really? Now, this is your actual GT3.
-是的 -我也知道 因为旁边站着一个拿灭火器的消防员以防突然自焚 Yes, it is, actually, yes. We know this because there's a fireman standing next to it with an extinguisher in case it suddenly combusts.
我现在想做的就是拿起这些比萨 Good! Now, what I'm planning on doing, OK, is I'm going to take these pizzas,
放到你的车上 然后拿着喷灯烤 pop them on the car. And then apply a blowtorch.
你 你不能这样 我见你做过这个 你不要想对我车怎样了 No! No, you're not, no, you're not! I've seen you do this and you're not doing it to my car.
但观众想看看比萨饼是否可以 No. But the ladies and gentlemen want to see if pizza is...
-我不管!那是我车! I don't care! Not to my car! No.
-那我能把比萨绑在你的身上么? Can we attach them to you?
-如果你坚持的话 好吧 -首先 我们需要弄一个 Well, if you must, yes. Right, well, first of all, we need to establish...
-詹姆斯我需要你 -好的 James, can I borrow you? Yes.
首先我们需要确认这的确是比萨饼 看一下吧 First of all we need to establish that these are pizzas, OK? Have a look.
你看到里面没有石棉 这绝对是真的比萨饼 -是不是? -是 You will see there's no asbestos in there, they're real pizzas. Yes? Yeah.
詹姆斯你愿不愿意尝一块 James,perhaps you'd like to just take a bite?
-好的 让我来一块 -是披萨吗 Yes, let me just pull a piece off. Is that a pizza?
尝起来和包装的纸盒一样 所以一定是比萨饼 Tastes like the cardboard box it came in, so it must be.
好的 这是比萨 如果你愿意把它们绑在哈蒙德身上 There you go. So those are the pizzas. If you'd like to attach those to Hammond,
-那便是极好的 -绑脸上么? -呃 that would be tremendous. To his face? Um...
-蛋蛋吧 -好嘞 -不要吧 His vegetables. OK. Oh, really? Come on! Oh, not...
伙计你太给面子了 都快到我的膝盖了 That's ambitious, mate.That's by my knees!
现在我来点燃喷灯 然后走你 Now, I'm going to fire up the blowtorch. There we go.
-天啊 这太荒唐了 -詹姆斯 外焰温度多高 Oh, God, come on, no! This is ridiculous! James, how hot is the tip of this flame?
也许最热的部分有800摄氏度 可以融化铝了 Probably the best part of 800 degrees C. Enough to melt aluminium.
可以融化铝了 这绝对是真的喷灯 Enough to melt aluminium. This is a real blowtorch.
我给大家演示 火对准这 桌子被火烧了 Look, I can demonstrate it. Fire on there, you can actually see it burning the table nicely.
这是真的 两层比萨饼 This is a real, well, two layers of pizza,
和-一个活的哈蒙德 大家准备好了么? -是的! and a real Richard Hammond. Everybody ready? Yes!
我不会这样待他 Wouldn't do it to him.
才怪! Oh, yes, I would!
不要啊! Oh, no!
-杰里米 够了吧? -才没有 -停下来! Jeremy, that's quite a long time, isn't it? Not really. Stop it!
我可以闻到香肠糊了 要准备打120吗? I can smell burning sausage. Is that alarming?
看到了么 把比萨饼贴车上吧 Can you see? Pizza. Pop it on your car. No!
观众朋友们 哈蒙德还在这里 Ladies and gentlemen, Hammond is still here.
实在是太愚蠢了 Stupid, stupid. That is...
我想这就是Top Gear的最热提示 I think that is a Top Gear hot tip.
我们将继续 因为在很久以前 詹姆斯才43岁时 We're going to move on. Because, you see, in the olden days, when James was 43,
车商要么像现在一样给你一台整车 car makers would sell you a complete car like they do now.
要么给你这样子的东西 Or they would sell you something like this -
一台车架配着发动机和悬挂 an engine,a chassis, and some suspension.
然后你再去找车厢制造商 And then you would take this to a coach building company
给爱车配上私人订制的外形 who would then fit a personalised body,
私人订制的内饰 personalised interior,
你可以随心所欲打造爱车 you could have anything you wanted.
在30年代 这意味着曾有一些真的让人怦然心动的杰作 And in the '30s, this meant there were some truly amazing creations.
在那个年代 车厢制造商遍布全球 Back then, there were coach building companies all over the world,
帮成功人士实现他们天马行空的梦想 helping the wealthy to fulfil their wildest dreams.
只有想不到 没有做不到 Anything was possible, and everything was done.
订制车身意味着克拉克·盖博不用开着这样一部大路货 Coach building meant that Clark Gable didn't have to have a car that looked like this.
而是这样一部 It meant he could have one that looked like this.
不幸的是 今天车辆的构造与过去不同 Today, though, cars are built differently.
你的车不是底盘上面坐着一个车厢 You don't get a chassis with a body on the top.
因为车厢本身就是底盘的一部分 Because the body sort of is the chassis.
支柱 顶棚 门框 它们都是应力的 The pillars, the roof, the doorframes, they're all load-bearing,
所以任何改动都会是噩梦 so changing anything is a nightmare.
这就意味着这么多年 订制车厢如同失传手艺 And this has meant that for many years, coach building has been a lost art.
但是今天 我很高兴宣布 Now, though, I'm delighted to say...
它又回来了 It's back.
各位 给大家介绍阿尔法·罗密欧Disco Volante Welcome, everyone, to the Alfa Romeo Disco Volante.
是我多年来见过的最震撼 最有智慧 最与众不同的车子之一 One of the most striking,intelligent, and unusual cars I've seen in a very long time.
它原本是台阿尔法8C It started out in life as an Alfa Romeo 8C.
但是经过一家来自米兰叫做Touring的老牌车厢制造商 But was totally re-bodied and re-upholstered
从里到外完全重新打造 by an old coach building company in Milan called Touring.
在50年代 他们为阿尔法罗密欧设计和制造跑车 In the '50s, they styled and built sports cars for Alfa Romeo.
之后 他们又设计了阿斯顿马丁DB5和DB6 Later they designed the Aston Martin DB5 and DB6.
还有简森Interceptor和第一款兰博基尼—著名的350GT Along with the Jensen Interceptor, and the very first Lamborghini - the 350GT.
这份简历含金量十足 That is quite a CV.
然而最近几年他们沦为给宾利和玛莎拉蒂做细小改造 In recent years,however,they've been reduced to making mildly modified Bentleys and Maseratis.
就像眼看着朱迪·丹奇爵士沦为地方小演员一样让人难受 It's been like watching Dame Judi Dench reduced to appearing in a regional pantomime.
而现在他们打算复兴失落的车厢制造艺术 But now, they've decided to bring the lost art of proper coach building back,
就用Disco Volante with the Disco Volante.
个别结构和涉及安全的零部件是不能被改动的 Certain structural and safety related things can't be changed.
例如 安全带挂点 风挡 悬挂安装位 The seat belt mounting points, the windscreen, the suspension mounting points,
他们都和原车保持一致 they'll be the same on this car as they are on this one.
就像整容一样 你不能动骨头但是你可以动肉 It's like plastic surgery. You can't change the skeleton, but you can change the flesh.
所以这就是他们的成果 但成功了吗? And that is what they've done. But has it worked?
简单回答—是的 The simple answer is, yes.
开着不抖也没异响 It doesn't shake, it doesn't rattle.
整容不毁容 每次稍有颠簸你不会说 It doesn't feel like botched plastic surgery.You don't think every time you go over a bump,
"不 我鼻子要掉了" "Oh no, my nose is going to fall off."
不像迈克尔·杰克逊 Doesn't feel like Michael Jackson.
你知道开起来什么感觉吗 感觉很踏实 Do you know what it does feel? It feels... Solid.
对一台手工打造的车来说很高的赞扬了 It feels, and this is high praise for a hand-built car,
她感觉像量产 it feels... Mass-produced.
话虽如此 她开起来不像她的前身 不像8C That said, it does not feel like the car that spawned it. It doesn't feel like an 8C.
因为他们把悬挂调软了 That's because they've softened the suspension,
他们成功把一台硬邦邦的劈弯小车调教成了 they've turned it from a stiff, B-road barnstormer
一台舒服的巡游机器 我喜欢 into a comfortable cruising machine, and I like that.
很多车造出来 会让你感觉在这种路上开车如同打仗 There are loads of cars built specifically to attack a road like this.
所以发现一台能够让你慢慢品味的轿跑 确实让人焕然一新 So it's quite refreshing to find one that allows you to savour it.
品味美景 品味当下 Savour the views, savour the moment.
那么 开起来不像8C So, it doesn't feel like an 8C.
另外 听起来也更不像 And it certainly doesn't sound like one either.
哦 我觉得是我听过最富有灵魂的车了 Oh, it's the most... ..soulful-sounding car I think I've ever heard.
整个排气系统就想是Otis Redding在款款吟唱 (美国著名灵乐歌手) It's as though the entire exhaust system is actually made out of Otis Redding.
(大猩猩自high中)
Otis的声音 It's Otis!
千万别误解了 这可不是一台慢车 Don't get me wrong though. This is not a slow car.
她装备了一台444马力4.7升玛莎拉蒂V8 It has a 444 horsepower 4.7 litre Maserati V8.
再加上超级轻量化的碳纤维铝合金车身 Couple that to a super-light carbon fibre and aluminium body,
结果就是你一加速 就变成水平方向的自由落体运动 and you end up with a car that accelerates like it's fallen off a cliff.
极速达到了291Km/h The top speed is 181.
奇怪的是当你开着这样一部细腻优雅的车 速度快了反而感觉不对 Thing is, though, driving a car this exquisite,this elegant,quickly,feels wrong.
就像跳机械舞 配黑人灵乐 It would be like pogo dancing to I Heard It Through The Grapevine.
不不不 你是跳不起来的 No, no, no, you can't do that!
这个 就是这个速度 这就是她最合适的速度 This, this kind of speed, this is where it's at its best.
半速 Half speed.
我甚至都不想把速度提起来 I don't even feel inclined to drive it fast.
我不想在过发卡弯时把车尾甩到外面 I don't want to hang the tail out on the hairpins.
我只想把档位调到自动 音箱中放出音乐 就像现在这样 Just want to put it in auto, put some tunes on the stereo,like so.
带上墨镜 Pop on a pair of sunglasses...
然后慢下来 And slow on down.
很快 你就会想把车停下 走出来 And pretty soon, you'll want to stop altogether and get out.
因为观赏这台车 才是真正的重点 Because looking at this car, that's really what it's all about.
观察这个造型里面借鉴多少其他设计元素 很有趣 It's interesting how many elements from other things are in that shape.
我能看到一点克尔维特 I can see a little bit of Corvette,
一点E-Type a bit of E-Type...
另外还有些 嗯 我记得那叫做"发现号" Then there's the, um...I think it was called the Discovery,
电影"2001太空漫游"里那艘飞船 the spaceship in 2001: A Space Odyssey.
正面线条很像 I see that at the front.
我喜欢厂家在喷红色前先喷金色打底 好让红色更饱满 And I love the way they paint it gold before they paint it red to make the colour richer.
还有印在椅背上的名字Disco Volante Then there's the name - "Disco Volante" - picked out in the seats.
我知道在意大利语中Disco Volante意思是"飞碟" I know in Italian, Disco Volante means "flying saucer"
但对我来说 就是007之霹雳弹里大反派Largo的水上飞机的名字 but to me, it's the name of Largo's hydrofoil in the Bond film Thunderball.
我爱那台车 我真的爱上她了 I love that car. I really do
我感觉是时候露出我珍藏多年的 痴汉脸了 I think it really is time now to bring out my special, "in love" face.
哈蒙德那天来意大利来试驾新4C的时候 我是很嫉妒的 I was jealous of Hammond when he came out to Italy the other day to drive the new Alfa 4C,
因为对我来说 4C是有特殊意义的 because, to me, that thing is special.
她是传谕天使加百列 It's...it's the Angel Gabriel.
但现在我不嫉妒了 因为这是耶稣宝宝啊 But I'm not jealous any more, because this... This is the full baby Jesus.
我不会说这是世界上最好的车 I'm not going to say it's the best car in the world -
很明显她开起来不是最舒服的 it certainly isn't the nicest to drive,
刹车有点肉 后窗视线很差 the brakes are spongy, you can see nothing out of the back.
但是作为一个让你觉得与众不同的机器 But as a tool for making you feel special,
真的 没什么比这个更合适了 没什么了 really,nothing gets close. Nothing at all.
一颗玛莎拉蒂的心脏 一枚阿尔法罗密欧的徽章 A Maserati heart, an Alfa Romeo badge,
如同Otis Redding歌喉的排气 exhausts made out of Otis Redding...
还有一架纯手工车身让人意醉神迷 and a hand-crafted body to die for.
这就是天作之合 真的 That is one hell of a combination. It really is.
-别别别 先别鼓掌 -什么事儿 -等下 No, no, no.No, don't... Sorry. What? Hang on.
刚刚因为我偏爱那个慢速版Caterham 你使劲吐槽 You were having a go at me earlier on because I preferred the slow Caterham to the fast Caterham.
然后你又鼓吹这台车慢的时候更舒服 And here you are, raving about a car that's happiest at half-speed?
-就是这样啊 -你个臭不要脸的 Well, yes. You're an utter hypocrite.
不不 你看是这样子的 我更喜欢开着一台LFA去别人家 no - you see, the thing is, I'd prefer to drive to somebody's house in a Lexus LFA,
因为我喜欢那台咆哮的V10输出的动力 cos I like the power from that screaming V10 engine.
但我更喜欢开这台车到达 因为她既优雅又漂亮 还是手工定制... But I prefer to arrive in this, because it's elegant beautiful, it's handcrafted...
-这车多少钱 -呵呵 你知道么 -How much is it? -Uh... Well, do you know,
他们不告诉我 就算我上小刑他们也没说 they won't tell me, even when I lightly tortured them.
但我听说新加坡有个人花了150万英镑 But I have heard there's a man in Singapore paid 1.5 million for his.
当然 新加坡进口关税很高 非常多钱 Now, there are a lot of import taxes in Singapore - I mean, huge ones.
-大概是130%吧 即便如此还是要60万呐 -是啊 我知道 Even so, that's about 130...That's still 600,000 for the car. Yes, I know.
更惊奇的是 新加坡不允许左舵的车上路 And what's amazing is that, in Singapore, you're not allowed to drive a left-hand drive car on the road.
所以他花150万英镑买的车他不能开 So he's paid 1.5 million for a car he can't drive.
-他完全疯了啊 -他才没 He's completely mad. He isn't -
有人花了4200万镑买了一幅弗朗西斯·培根的画 somebody's just paid,what,42 million quad for a Francis Bacon painting.
那东西你也不能开啊 You can't drive that,either.
-那这不是车? -詹姆斯 我没时间跟你钻牛角尖 It's not a car? James, I haven't got time for your pedantry.
因为明星廉价车的时间到了 Because we have to now put a Star in our Reasonably Priced Car.
今天的嘉宾是个很好玩的人 Now, my guest tonight is extremely funny,
但他开不来车 but he can't drive.
也就是尼格尔·曼塞尔的极端反面 So he is the exact opposite of Nigel Mansell.
诸位 请欢迎 Jack Whitehall Ladies and gentlemen, Jack Whitehall.
你好吗 看看谁来了 How are you? Good, how are you? Look who's here! Hello.
你好 请坐 Hey. Have a seat.
你知道吗 自从你换掉开裆裤 我就再没见过你 Do you know, I haven't seen you since you were in short trousers.
哈哈 我指的是 Yes, well, I mean, you know...
你可是我童年的重要角色 You were a big part of my childhood.
在场应该有人不知道 And that's not something that probably everyone in here knows.
我上的预备学校 杰里米是学生家长 Jeremy was a father at the prep school that I went to
我当时的回忆仍然栩栩如生 and I have a lot of very vivid...
此刻对我来说很神奇 和你坐在一起 This is a big moment for me, being here, with you, cos...
穿着不开档的裤子 With long trousers. With long trousers on -
是紧身长裤 tight, long trousers.
而你是 But you were, like, the first kind of... real, kind of,
我所看见的第一只大男子主义银背大猩猩 silverback, swinging-dicked alpha male I'd ever set eyes on.
我那所学校的其他家长 Every other father at the school that I went to
都是哭丧着脸的贵族有钱人 身穿巴伯尔外套 was, like, a blubbering-faced pos h toff with a Barbour jacket.
而你在操场上大步流星 Then you came striding across the sports field,
穿着牛仔裤 就好像 a vision in denim, like...
棒极了 我们都说 看看那个人 It was amazing - we were all like, "Oh, God, look at him!
他大概吃生牛肉的 "He probably eats his steak rare
洗澡时想撒尿都懒得出浴缸 "and doesn't bother getting out of the bath to take a BLEEP."
而你此刻就在我对面 And here you are.
还有许多签售会 -It was always those book signings -that's...
不得不去 所有的家长都要去 You had to go, all the parents had to go,
如果其中有一个人写书的话 if they'd written a book -
当然每个人基本上都出书了 and almost everyone at this school had... Yeah.
你在这个房间 那里坐着Jeremy Paxman You'd be in this room and there'd be Jeremy Paxman
在边上有一堆他想推销的书 with a big stack of books he was trying to sell.
有次你和Paxman在一起签售 It was you and Paxman...
我记得一清二楚 宛如昨日 I remember it like it was yesterday.
你们在一个房间里 貌似是间实验室 There was one room, it was a science lab,
你坐在一边 Paxman坐在另一边 you were at one end, Paxman was at the other.
基本上就是比谁鸡鸡大的比赛 And it was basically a who's got the biggest dick competition.
他写了本尖酸机智的书 He'd have some really acerbic, intelligent book
内容大意是有关宗教改革 he'd written about the Reformation,
而你写了 切2档 7300 then you'd have, you know... "Full Throttle",
-诸如此类的 -嗯 你记性不错 -or whatever it was. -It was. It was.
他那里有很多人在排队 He'd got a queue of people going, you know,
您对金雀花王朝的观察太有意思了 "Your observations on the Plantagenets are most interesting."
而我就只有"你觉得斯巴鲁比三菱Evo要好吗" And I got, "Do you think the Subaru is better than the Evo?"
好 许多上了节目嘉宾都会说 "我开不来车" Now... we get many guests down here who say, "Ooh, no, I can't drive."
意思是 "我从来没上过赛道 And they mean,"I've never done any track driving
我开得不好 没有信心" "and I'm not very confident and I'm not very good."
而我们所说的 你不会开车 代表的是 你真不会开车 When we say you can't drive, we mean... you CAN'T drive.
我完全开不来 No. No, I can't drive at all.
我曾经摸过一次方向盘 I... I mean, I've been in a car once, behind the wheel.
之前坐的都是乘客席 I've done passenger stuff loads of times, I'm amazing.
但要说驾驶 我大概才学了半节课 But the driving aspect, I've done, like, half a lesson?
爸爸给我上了半节课 My dad gave me half a lesson
后来才知道 根本不是上课 and it became clear that it wasn't really a lesson -
他只不过是想顺路去买肉 he wanted a lift to the butchers.
我们于是开到左边 So we drove down the road to the left,
他挑了只羊腿 我们就回家了 he picked up a leg of lamb and we went home.
这就是我仅仅上过的课 So that's the only lesson I ever had.
但我从未独自一人开过车 But I've never been behind the wheel of a car on my own ever before.
所以 能在这里练一次 说不定还不错吧 So I thought it would be good to come and do it... Here?
也就是说 Which, of course,
我们得先教你开车 meant that we actually had to teach you to drive a car.
当然了 当我说 我们 的时候 Yeah. When I say, "we"...The Stig.
-试替哥没有包含在内 -他可不是个好老师 -Yeah, I mean, he wasn't... -he's not a great instructor.
他话不多嘛 咱们直接点说 -He's not talkative,let's put it that way.
我手上有点他第一堂 Um... well, we've actually got some footage
驾驶课的影像资料 of Jack's first ever driving lesson in an actual...
你开的是手动挡的么 Was it a manual?
我的意思是 边上有个棍子伸出来那种 I mean, did it have, like, a lever coming out there?
那车有个可以来回移动的棍子 还有3个踏板 It had a pull-y thing and then three pedals.
3个踏板和能左右晃的棍子 Three pedals and a pull-y thing.
-那被叫做手动档车 -哦 说的是 -This is known as a manual car. -A manual car, yes.
有谁想看Jack的第一堂驾驶课么 Anybody like to see Jack's first ever driving lesson?
咱可从来没干过这事 各位 让我们欣赏一下 Never, ever done this before. Here we go, let's have a look.
车应该发出 呜呜的声音 是吧 It should make a "vroom" noise, shouldn't it?
我钥匙转得方向对吗 Do I... am I turning it the right way?
不对吗 好吧 No? Right, OK, fine.
他完全无法沟通吗 'Was he completely uncommunicative?'
他连头都不肯点 He didn't even nod.
太好了 Yes!
Stig 你不能对我这么不理不睬啊 Stig, I might need a little bit more from you than this.
好吧 这样不行 OK, right, so that's not working.
那就不这么弄了 By process of elimination,
如果我们松离合 然后轻轻踩一下 if we come off the clutch and press this...
转起来了 嗯 确实转起来了 准备出发 Revving. Yeah, that's revving. Getting ready.
-哦 你手刹还没松啊 -听起来不错 -And your handbrake's on. -That sounds good.
才不是呢 No, it doesn't.
哈哈 越来越好了 OK, this is getting better.
天啊 Oh, Jesus...
干的不错 I mean, well done.
但我们得从这基础起步 But we had to go from that to getting you round a lap
-把你调教到在一个小时内跑完一圈 -我的首要任务是... -in the space of an hour. -I think my priorities were...
Stig觉得我的态度一点都不端正 He didn't think that I was taking it seriously,
因为我每次做进车里的时候 cos when I first got in the car a perfectly valid thing,
我都会很自然的问一句 it's the thing I always ask when I get in a car,
兄台 有没有iPhone的充电器啊 is whether he had an iPhone charger.
因为我的手机没电了 而我又想给这次活动照点像 Because mine had died and I wanted to get some photos of the journey
他因为这个就傲娇了 and he wasn't happy about that.
他也太不专业了 He's so moody!
-我问他有没有夫人 气氛更糟了 I asked him if there was a Mrs Stig and that didn't go down well.
-你活该问 -但它也有生理需要啊 -No, it wouldn't. -That's what he needs
也许是在家夫妻生活不和谐吧 maybe he's not getting enough of it at home.
我帮他想好了最佳伴侣 I thought of the perfect person for The Stig as well -
它俩简直是天作之合 this is a match made in Heaven -
就是异次元冲杀阵里面 him and the woman who does the demonstrations on The Cube.
也带着面具的那个女的 With the mask.
他俩在一起世界就和平了啊 They would be perfect together!
那他俩的孩子要长成什么样啊 What would the babies be like?
宝宝肯定是朵奇葩啊 你可以把这个做成个挑战赛嘛 The babies would be amazing! You could do it as a challenge -
把他们扔到Fernando岛上去 send them to the Isle of Fernandos!
说到Stig欲求不满的事 Talking of The Stig not getting enough,
如果你是个17岁的少年 how, if you're a 17-year-old youth,
会不会很沮丧 do you get any... at all from girls
都没法载着姑娘们出去玩 if you can't drive them anywhere?
是啊 的确很艰难 特别是 Yeah, it was hard. Especially when I became a stand-up
我当了脱口秀演员后 要去巡演 and it was like, stand-up, you're going around on tours,
一把一把的细皮嫩肉的嗨妹子啊 quite rock'n'roll,there would be groupies and stuff,
可是母亲开车带我去的 but it's very hard to pull a groupie
我该怎么嗨呢 when your mother has driven you to the gig.
演出结束后 想让我拍搭你回去么 Afterwards, you'd be like, "Yeah, you want to go back to my crib?
我的车就在外面 就是那台沃尔沃 "My ride's outside, it's the Volvo just there.
但是只能委屈坐在后排了 因为我要坐在前面陪我妈开车 "You'll have to sit in the back, cos I ride up front with Mummy.
希望你喜欢听广播剧 The Archers "Hope you like The Archers!"
先在要做演出 So when you're doing your gigs now,
你母亲不会再帮你开车了吧 presumably your mum doesn't take you around.
不会了 这就是这场巡演的优点 No - the best thing about this latest tour,
是我有史以来最大的一场演出 it's the biggest one I've done,
另外我可以坐专门的巴士 多棒啊 and I'm going to be in a tour bus, which is amazing.
但是我发现最糟糕的一点是 Cos the worst thing, I find,
当你在路上跑的时候 about doing a tour when you're in a car
只能用加油站的厕所 is having to use petrol station toilets,
而加油站厕所门的锁 cos the lock on a petrol station toilet door
总是坏的 is always broken.
它们基本上都跪了 所以你就要向我们学个绝招了 They're always bust, then you have to do that thing which we all do,
我管它叫做"厕所瑜伽" which I call "lavatory yoga"
就是说你得想方设法保持厕所门关闭 where you work out how to keep the door with a broken lock shut.
对的 Yeah.
基本上有三种学派 第一个是汤姆·戴利式 There's three main schools of it -you've got the Tom Daley,
人向前倾 手像这样 where you lean forward with the arms like that.
用指尖顶着 Use the fingertips. Yeah.
但我只能一边玩Candy Crush一边出恭 所以这种姿势就不行了 But I can't BLEEP unless I'm playing Candy Crush, so that doesn't work.
还有一种鞠躬僧侣式 Then you've got the Bowing Monk,
头朝前顶 防止门开 where you put your head forward and just use it as a doorstop.
但要是别人很想进来 But someone can, like, knock you out
就会把你给撞晕了 if they're too insistent on getting in.
接着第三种 是最好的方法 Then your third option, which is the best one,
就是顺产产妇式 which you should always use, is the Woman In Labour,
将脚分开顶住门 where you plant two feet onto the door.
但我有一次出丑是在博尔顿外的 But I committed to this recently in a petrol station
一个加油站里面 可是全情投入 just outside of Bolton,and I'd fully committed,
但使用时必须对周围地形有所 but you have to be a master of your surroundings,
我当时没注意到门 能推 也能拉 I didn't realise the door in question opened both ways!
有个多毛的卡车司机 一把拽开门 This, like, hairy trucker ripped it off and literally thought
就看到我姿态如此优美 还以为我在对着他打手枪 I was kind of presenting myselfto him!
你好啊 "Hello!"
你要在 O2场馆演出啊 -Now, I want to just go on to... Are you playing the O2?
对 我将于 要死 几号我忘了 I'm playing the O2 on the... Oh, I've forgotten the date!
拜托 Come on.
3月17日 17th March. 17th March?
3月 17还是18日 The 17th or 18th March. Like, roughly.
对的 17号 他来我包票 17th, he's coming, he's got a ticket. The 17th!
哦 他是要在这里工作的 Oh, no, he works here.
嗯 我们继续 And there we are, so...
据说那不仅仅是巡演一站 还有许多惊喜给大家 It's not just going to be a tour, there's plenty of surprises as well.
那将会是前所未有的赛格威入口 There will be the greatest ever egway entrance to a stand-up tour
你站赛格威上吗 the world has ever seen. Somebody's putting you on a Segway?
-没错 -那可值得一看 -I'm on a Segway, yeah. -Well, that's worth going to see.
你能想到的脱口秀的应有尽有 It's got everything you'd want from a stand-up comedy tour.
好吧 咱们谈谈你的赛道表现吧 Anyway, the lap.
我想说一下 为了完整的跑完一圈你最后是不是 I ought to explain, you did actually ditch the manual, didn't you,
换了一台自动档的车 for the lap and go to an automatic?
对 我觉得只能如此 因为我可想顺利开完整圈呢 Yeah, I thought that was best cos I wanted to get all the way around it.
自动车的唯一麻烦就是 你没法... The only trouble with an automatic is you're not going to...
不过 反正你也上不了前面几名 还是不用担心了 You'll probably not get very high up that anyway, so... Let's not worry too much about that.
这里有人想看看你的表现么 Who here would like to see the result of your driving lesson?
-走着 -神啊 Here we go. Oh, dear.
第一次放单飞啊 Flying solo for the first time.
Jack 加油啊 你可是速度之王 Come on, Jack. You are a king of speed!
-你看上去很害怕 -我那是相当害怕 -We shall see, you look a bit frightened. -I was very frightened.
你转了过来 听上去真纠结 You've steered round that one. It sounds awful.
哦 天啊 冲出去了 Oh, good God! And off.
-这样还是算成绩了吧 -是的 你依然 -That counts though, doesn't it? -Yes, yes, yes, you're still...
说真的 Stig说的许多都是扯淡 To be honest, a lot of what The Stig says is BLEEP!
你真开起来就... 哦 It's really just about... Oh!
我猜我们在过Chiago的时候都不知道自己说的是什么 I guess we'll never know, as we do Chicago,
冲向锤头弯 你这是上哪去 heading down to the Hammerhead. Where are you going?
-这完全错了 -哦 我好晕啊 -That's completely the wrong... -Oh, I feel so sick.
-你自己都能把自己开晕车 -我确实把自己弄晕了 -You made yourself sick! -I made myself sick.
接着 过了锤头弯 哦哟 And here we go, round the Hammerhead... Whoops!
-我觉得开的还不错嘛 -不怎么样啦 -That was quite good. -Not really... Ooh!
眼前的事情才是至关重要的 The big circular thing is necessary there in front of you.
这是不是没油的意思 Is it low on petrol?
因为这玩意儿在一直叫 Cos it kept beeping.
好吧 一直冲你叫吗 Right, so, it was beeping at you?
别在那里冲出去 Don't go off there! Tyres.
这还不错 This one was good.
哦 刹车啊 Oh, braking there!
胆子蛮大的 因为是前驱动车 That's ballsy because that can upset the rear end
这么做会让后轮飘 in a front-wheel-drive car
不过你反正不懂 就是对牛弹琴 and I may be talking French as far as you're concerned there.
只剩下干彭弯 能顺利开完吗 Only Gambon to go and can you do it?
哇 等一下 当然没问题 Oh, wait a minute, yes, nearly, you can! Across the line!
看 我跑完一圈了 I got there.
你早上来之前 When you bear in mind that you arrived this morning having
只开过一次车去买肉 driven a car once to the butchers and back... Yeah.
上了一次课 就能开成这样 And then you had a lesson and then put that together,
-我真的觉得很厉害 -哦 谢谢 -I think that's pretty impressive, I really do. -Oh, thank you.
可是你觉得自己成绩如何 But how fast do you think you did it?
-你觉得你会排在榜的哪个位置 -哦 我不知道 -Where do you think you came on the board? -Oh, I don't know.
大概在Hiddleston和Bonneville之间吧 In between Hiddleston and Bonneville?
你希望在他们俩之间吗 大概在1分50秒左右 You're hoping to get between Tom and Hugh? Around about the 1.50 mark?
是的 Yeah.
Jack Whitehall 你的成绩是 你身体朝前 就像个专业人士一样 You did it, Jack Whitehall... You're leaning forward like a pro...
-1分 -1分 不错 -One minute... -One minute, that's good.
50... ..50...
真可惜没法安慰你 There's no kind way of saying this.
4秒5 ..4.5.
没事的 你知道 It's all right, you know...
坐进车本身就是一个胜利了 Getting in the car for me was a victory in itself.
你想再往下一些吗 Do you want to move it further down?
我觉得自己没脸放那上面 I feel like I'm sullying that person by being there.
不过 But that, I mean...
我以后学了车 等经验老到以后 Maybe I could come back after I've actually learnt to drive
一定要再来一次 and I would get a competitive time.
-听到这话我很欣慰啊 这次也太遗憾了 -是啊 我知道 -I'd like that because this was woeful. Yeah, I know!
至少我这次没有躲在家里哭 At least I'm on the board and not at home crying in my pants,
而是真正的上车开了一圈 which is where I should be when it comes to driving.
是啊 我也希望你以后能再来 因为你在这里我们真的很开心 No, I'd like to have you back because it's been bloody good fun having you here.
女士们 先生们 Jack Whitehall Ladies and gentlemen, Jack Whitehall!
如果你想要一辆快车 会有很多选择 Now... If you want a car that's fast, you're spoiled for choice.
同样道理适用于环保 廉价 Same story if you want a car that's economical or cheap,
或者大空间的车 而如果你想要炫耀 or has a big boot, but what if you're a massive showoff and your main
而且要求这台车在乡亲眼里足够酷炫 requirement is for a car that makes you stand out in your hometown?
那就要先看 Well, that can be a lot trickier
你家乡在哪了 听我慢慢解释 depending upon the town where you live, as I shall now demonstrate.
欢迎来到阿联酋 Welcome to the United Arab Emirates, where, as you can see,
这个靠车夺人眼球相当困难的地方 it takes quite a lot to stand out on the car front.
在这里 普通的法拉利或者兰博基尼 Out here, your common or garden Ferrari or Lamborghini
已经烂大街了 can no longer cut the mustard.
那怎么样才能足够拉风呢 So what do you do if you want to turn heads?
我觉得我找到了答案 Well, I think I may have the answer.
你看 凡人能想到的只是闪亮车轮 You see, everyone thinks about blinging their wheels,
却没人会想到增加车轮 but nobody ever thinks of adding MORE wheels.
这就是新款奔驰G级 六轮版 This is the new six-wheeled version of Mercedes's iconic G-Wagen.
除了额外增加的车轮 它还相当稀有 And beside the extra wheels, it also ticks the rarity box
因为现存仅有两台 because it's one of only two in existence.
当然以后会生产更多 More will be built, though I suspect not many
但考虑到惊人的37万英镑要价 估计产量不会太高 when you consider the price, which is a trouser-troubling £370,000.
奔驰一开始只为澳洲军方生产 The six-wheel G-Class was originally built for the Australian Army,
加装座椅和车门的六轮版G级 who demanded standard equipment like seats and doors.
但这台民用版加装了 In this civilian version, however, you get heated
可加热通风的电动真皮座椅 and ventilated electric leather chairs,
真皮包裹仪表台 a leather-trimmed dashboard
以及竹制拖斗 and a bamboo-lined cargo bay.
配这台车的钱 可以帮你配很多车 You really do get a lot of car for your money, as in A LOT OF CAR.
我是说 你看 I mean, look at it.
它比揽胜还要长近一米 It's nearly a metre longer than a Range Rover
轮胎达到37寸 and it's got 37-inch wheels.
我甚至觉得自己能把头伸进轮胎 I reckon I could get my head in the gap between the wheel
和轮眉间的空隙 and the wheel arch.
你看 谁敢换台揽胜试试 Yeah, I can. Try doing that in a Range Rover.
G63 6x6甚至重达3.75吨 The six-by-six also weighs three-and-three-quarter tonnes
相当于三辆大众高尔夫 or the same as three VW Golfs.
所以发动机就要相当给力了 So, engine-wise, it can't afford to mess about.
它配备的是一台来自奔驰疯子部门AMG的 It's actually got a 5.5 litre, 536-horsepower twin-turbo V8
536马力 5.5升双涡轮增压V8发动机 from Mercedes's in-house nutterists, AMG.
哦 冲啊 Oh, we're getting a move on!
扭矩759Nm 560 pound-feet of torque.
0到96Km/h加速时间小于6秒 0-60 in under six seconds.
这就是一台拥有跑车性能的巨无霸 That's sports car stuff in something the size of a shopping centre.
至于油耗嘛 我怀疑 Fuel economy? Well, I doubt this will be the official transport
它会成为下届绿色和平组织年会的官方车辆 to the next Greenpeace annual conference.
简言之 奔驰认为这车最好得装两个油箱 All I'll say is they thought it best to fit two fuel tanks.
你通过这个车顶开关在两个油箱间任意切换 You change over using this switch up here.
每个人都喜欢顶置开关 And everybody loves an overhead switch.
如果我开着它 在瓦伊河畔的罗斯街上游荡 (哈蒙德家所在地) If I drove this down Ross-on-Wye high street,
所经之物必臣服于我 I would be lord of all I survey.
毫无争议地成为赫里福郡之王 The undisputed king of Herefordshire.
别说赫里福郡 这玩意在这里都能足够吸引眼球 Never mind Herefordshire, this thing attracts attention even around here.
开玩笑吧 Seriously?
当真 Really?
好吧 来真的了 'Yeah, he's serious.
原来 'As it turned out,
警察叔叔也没见过这么奇葩的车子 'the policeman had never seen such an unusual car before...'
一共有六个轮子 知道么 另一边也这样 There's six wheels. I guess it's the same on the other side.
看了一眼后他就开着警车走了 '..and was on his way again after he'd had a look.'
再见 Bye!
我家那儿警察可没有兰博基尼Aventador Lamborghini Aventador police car. They don't have those in Ross-on-Wye.
或是这些 Or these...
法拉利FF Ferrari FF.
SLS AMG That's an S... MG.
真是神奇的一天 What a funny day.
虽然G63 6x6在柏油路面上开起来相当快 Now, although the six-by-six is seriously quick on tarmac and turns
而且还能吸引警察的注意力 但它骨子里却是一辆十足的越野车 policemen's heads, where it's really built to shine is as an off-roader.
来举个例子 Let me give you an example.
路虎卫士涉水深度为半米 A Land Rover Defender can wade through half a metre of water
已经相当不错了 and that's very good.
但这车涉水能力是卫士的一倍 This can wade through twice that.
然而我们现在身处沙漠 找水比登天还难 However, this being the desert, water is quite hard to find,
所以想要测试越野能力 还得动动脑筋 so if you want to test it, you do have to improvise.
早上好 抱歉 Morning, sorry.
抱歉 没错的话 一米的水就这么深 Sorry. This is, unless I'm very much mistaken, a metre of water.
G63 6x6正涉水而过 And my six-by-six is... wading through it.
甚至还能推动救生圈 Even dealing with the rubber rings.
简直小菜一碟 Yeah, not having any difficulties with this at all.
那它在沙地上表现又如何呢 But how does it cope with sand?
好消息是 这里一点也不缺沙子 Well, the good news is, sand is one thing we're really not short of.
欢迎来到"空白之地"(鲁卜哈利沙漠 因其面积占据阿拉伯半岛约四分之一而得名) Welcome to the Empty Quarter.
全世界最大的沙漠 The largest sand desert in the world.
面积达64万平方米 Covering some 250,000 square miles.
这里温度高达50摄氏度 Out here, temperatures hit 50 degrees centigrade
有些沙丘高达243米 and there are dunes more than 800ft high.
不怕 我们有6轮驱动 OK, we have six-wheel drive
而且拥有30:40:30的三轴动力分配 get√ with the power split 30-40-30 across the axles... check.
军方专用G级上搞来的前轮强化弹簧 Stronger front springs from the armoured version of the G-Class...
get√ check.
还有差速锁 Locking diffs - oh, we've got those.
常识告诉我们普通车差速锁只有三把 这台车 五把! The most you'd expect normally would be three. On here, five!
并通过这些按钮的不同组合来控制 And you lock them using these buttons in different ways.
好吧 出发 Right, let's go.
这些沙丘绝对够分量 These are big, big dunes.
我轮下的这个可不是一般的沙丘 This is more of a sand mountain I'm on right now.
哦 3.75吨的奔驰 Oh! Three-and-three-quarter tonnes of Mercedes
正在奋力向前 感觉不妙 is doing this, it just doesn't feel right!
多出来的轴和车轮 This extra axle and these two extra wheels, it changes the way the
改变了这台6x6的行驶方式 感受到波动起伏 很微妙的感觉 six-by-six travels over the ground, it undulates, it feels supple.
就像在沙漠中 It's like blasting through the desert dunes...
骑筋狂奔 ..riding a sinew.
来吧 Come on!
哦 O-o-o-oh!
不!哔— No! BLEEP!
抱歉各位 刚才不小心起飞了 I got some air. Sorry, everybody.
沉醉于这车的杰出性能 'Intoxicated by what the Merc could do,
我向着空白之地的深处驶去 'I drove deeper and deeper into the Empty Quarter.'
怎么没路可走了 Right, where's it go now?
额滴神啊 Cos... Oh, my God! Oh!
我了个大去 Oh, for crying out loud!
给我滑板还不滑呢 I wouldn't ski down that!
好吧 OK.
哦哦啊啊啊 Whoa-oh-oh-aah!
要下去了 哦哦 这一点也不好玩 Over the top, over the top... Oh! Oh, very unpleasant, not nice!
简直就是垂直 It's vertical!
我坐在一辆车里面 却要坠机了 I'm in a car, I'm having a plane crash!
我还在下坠 I'm still going down!
这地方真是要蠢哭了 Oh, what a stupid place, I hate it!
看到前方是美妙的平坦沙漠 Ahead, I saw a nice, flat desert floor
我觉得去那里一定安全多了 'and decided that was a much safer place to be.'
漂起来啦 It's drifting!
现在又是拉力车了 这么大只的拉力赛车 Now it's a rally car, a gigantic rally car.
大家不要忘了 我现在讲话不用大喊 And let's not forget, I'm not having to shout over this,
这里面很安静 it's not "Raaargh!" in here.
车内依旧是各种豪华 I'm still cocooned in luxury.
这货太神奇了 It's an amazing device.
当我们越野穿越沙漠时 Now, when you take an off-roader across sand,
一般惯例 就像我这样 the standard practice, as I've done,
都会把轮胎放点气来增加与地面接触面积 is to let some air out of the tyres to give them a bigger footprint.
现在回到柏油路了 我又需要重新充气 Now I'm going back on tarmac, so I need to reinflate them.
我只用动动手指就行了 All I've got to do is operate these overhead switches.
感觉自己就像飞行员一样 I feel like a jet pilot.
压缩机启动 Compressor on.
开始充气 Going up.
所有轮胎在一分钟之内都能充好气 And they can reinflate ALL of these tyres in under a minute.
我太喜欢这功能了 Oh, I love this.
如果在莱德伯里这样炫耀 我会被围攻的 If I did this in Ledbury I'd be mobbed by now.
离开空白之地后 我重新驶向文明 Leaving the Empty Quarter behind, I headed back towards civilisation.
我不会假装这车 I'm not going to pretend this is anything less than
很低调 a preposterous machine.
这可是6米长 It's a six-metre,
3.75吨重 37万英镑的六轮恐龙 three-and-three-quarter tonne, £370,000, six-wheeled dinosaur,
即便恐龙 也是一只霸气的恐龙 but as dinosaurs go, it is a magnificent one.
看起来霸气 制造业霸气 Magnificent to behold, magnificently made,
汽车界的癫狂之作 it's one of the car world's mad moments.
远离那些普锐斯和聆风 A day off from Priuses and Leafs.
甚至在这个充满各种土豪汽车的国家 And even in a country as chock-full of showy-offy cars as this one,
这车也是相当独特的 it's still really rather special.
你可以忘记那些亮瞎眼的贴膜了 You can forget your chrome wraps and whatever,
我觉得 I don't think you can beat
有更多轮子才是王道 just having more wheels than anything else,
我有绝对的自信说 and I can say with absolute confidence
我的车轮子比谁都...哦 that I have more wheels than any other... Oh.
没关系 我还是可以说 No matter, one thing I can say for sure is that this is
我是这里最炫的奔驰 the most extreme Mercedes out here.
我敢说这里没有奔驰 I doubt there's anything with a Mercedes badge in these parts
能吸引那么...多 that can draw as much attention... as that.
好吧 就算我车轮子不是最多的 All right, so I don't have the most wheels,
也不是最极端的奔驰 it's not the most extreme Mercedes out here,
但是G63 6x6是有尺寸上的优势 but the six-by-six does have size on its side.
比揽胜大 比陆地巡洋舰大 Bigger than any Range Rover, bigger than any Land Cruiser,
比那老吉普更大 就是这样 bigger than that old Jeep up there and that's the thing -
车可以很漂亮 但当尺寸大的时候 a car can be beautiful but when it's big,
就会有存在感 最大的车也不过... it's got presence and they don't come much bigger than...
我 的 天 呐 Oh... my... God...
妈妈 我想要这个 I want this one.
太赞了 Brilliant.
你不知道 我丢老人了 Embarrassingly, whilst there,
那天居然把那大奔跑没油了 I ran the Merc out of petrol
-阿联酋一把沙子都能攥出油来 -是吗? in the place where they actually grow the stuff. Really?
-太蠢了 太傻了 -先别管那个了 It was awful, I felt an idiot. Never mind that,
我想再看一遍影片最后你那个镜头 can we just look at that picture of you at the end?
你的确看起来像是"借东西的小矮人"里边的人物 You do look like something out of The Borrowers,
-实话实说 -但我跟你讲 那辆Jeep超级赞的 to be brutally honest. But I have to say that Jeep is incredible.
可惜的是我去那天它恰好坏了 但是那车真能开动起来 Sadly, it was broken the day I was there, but it does actually move.
我期待着有一天能看到 但是现在 And I'd like to see that one day, but now it is time for me
-我要向大家证明汽车比摩托厉害 -哎呦 to demonstrate that cars are better than motorbikes. Oh, no.
-杰里米你听我说 只剩几分钟了 -我知道了 不过你听我说 Hang on. Jeremy, we've only got a few minutes. Yes, yes, listen.
你来看 这是一张两位的桌子 Come over here, because what we have here is a table laid for two, OK?
而我下面就要在什么都不碰倒的情况下抽出这块桌布 And I'm going to remove this tablecloth without knocking anything over.
你这是要唱哪出啊 Where are you going with this?
各位都往后站站 Everybody, stand back behind me,
成功的秘诀就是要够快 because you need to be... quick to do this. Well...
好 干得好 Well, yeah. Oh, well done.
这下算是消除大家的疑惑了 That's really cleared that up for us
摩托车的确是比桌子什么的快 Bikes are faster than a table! Or something.
你这都哪跟哪啊 What's that got to do with anything?
说实话这一下比我 想象中的顺利多了 It went rather well, better than I'd expected, if I'm honest!
言归正传 宝马公司就曾用一个比这大很多的桌子做过同样的实验 Anyway, the thing is, BMW once did that trick with a much larger table,
下面我就将为大家播放这个片段 as I shall now demonstrate with this bit of film.
太赞了这 真心没话说 干得好摩托党 Well, that is tremendous, it's amazing. Well done, the motorbike.
对 Yeah.
但是下面我将用一辆汽车来完成相同的挑战 But what I'm going to do now is that exact same thing only with a car.
但你知道吧 超摩的加速度可是非常快 You are aware, aren't you, that a Superbike accelerates very fast?
从10到150加速的话是这样 但是这一次需要的 Yes, Hammond, from say 10-150, but to do that you need
是瞬时加速度 真正管用的是0到10加速 the instant acceleration, it's 0-10 that matters.
这个说法的确没错 That is a very good point
因为机车可是很难快速起步的 because it's very difficult to get a bike off the line.
是 我承认 摩托车起步的时候往往都会烧一下胎或者翘一下车头 Right, I'll admit, it usually spins the wheel or it flips over backwards.
看了吧 我们汽车起步就不翘车头 You see, cars don't flip over backwards,
这是我们的诸多优点之一 it's one of the many reasons why they're better.
-而这次我所选择战车就是这辆 -达特桑? And the car I've selected is this one. A Datsun?
瞎说 尼桑GT-R A Nissan GT-R.
说起来我还真心赞同你这次的选择 No, I approve of your choice of car, actually, I have to say.
对吧 因为我跟梅那天爽过一把 Yeah, cos May and I were playing with one of these the other day
这车的起步的速度简直让人不敢相信 and the way it sets off is simply unbelievable.
真的 我不骗你 I mean, it really is,
你 我开过的所有车没有一辆比这货的0到10英里加速还快 there's no car I've ever driven that goes from 0-10 faster.
不仅四轮驱动 还有一套完美的弹射起步系统 It's got four-wheel drive and an amazing launch control system.
你只需要一只脚踩死油门 另一只脚踩死刹车 So you put your foot hard down on the accelerator, hard on the brake,
一抬刹车 电脑帮你全搞定 take your foot off the brake, computer does everything
而你就飞了 -这就是你要挑战的桌子? -是的 and you set off. OK, and this is the table, yeah? Yes, it is.
的 咱先把这事捋清楚喽 So let's get this straight.
你要把这块桌布从这张长约18英尺的桌子上抽出来 You are going to pull this tablecloth off this, what, 18ft table?
要用这辆小达? 还得什么都没碰碎 Using this Datsun? Listen... Without breaking anything?
一切保持原样 -是吗? -没错 Without knocking a single thing over. Really? Yes.
你还知道"靠边站"这三个字怎么写吧 The words "stand" and "back" spring to mind.
对我有点信心好吗 Ye of little faith.
我用的绳子长度是跟宝马的实验一样的 OK, I'm using the same length of rope that BMW did.
松紧度也一样 Same amount of slack that they did,
起步的地点也是一样的 we're pulling from the same place that they did.
一切的一切都 干嘛 Everything is... What?
你确定这距离你算好了 差不多吧怎么了 Have you actually measured this out? A bit.
为了完全拽出桌布你要开至少18英尺 You've got to go 18ft to get the tablecloth off the table,
这还不算你离开桌子的那点距离 plus the length of that bit off the end... Yes.
和绳子拉伸的长度 ..plus you got to account for the amount of rope
然后你还要让车在碰到演播室那头之前刹住 and you've got to stop before you hit the other side of the studio.
-我不需要啊 -为什么 -因为又不是我开车 No, I haven't. You have. I haven't, because I'm not going to drive it.
他开 He is.
观众们 传说中的他亲临现场了 Ladies and gentlemen, The Stig has come among us.
他是很少进棚的 Very rarely in the studio.
你先等会 Hold on a minute.
-等会 -干嘛 Hold on a minute. Yes, what?
也就是说他将要戴着他那堪比墨镜的头盔 So you are saying he is going to drive across our darkened studio,
驶过我们昏暗的演播室? peering through his darkened visor?
-是的 -这是不是安排的这代试替哥死法? Yes. Is this how this Stig dies?
他出版书啦? Has he done a book?
才没有 好吧 他准备好了吗 No, he hasn't. Right, is he ready?
你准备好了吗 Are you ready?
-那大家都准备好了吗 -好了 Everybody here ready? Yes!
天呐 Oh, God!
我们心里真的一点也没底 We have no idea how it's going to work out,
但我还是心怀希望 but I have hope in my heart.
三 二 一 走你! In three, two, one, go!
-怎样? -离成功只差一线 -你哪只眼睛看出来的 Well? That was mostly incredibly successful. How, in what way?
他没撞墙 对吧 He didn't hit the wall, as we can see.
但是别的东西都散落一地 摔得粉碎 But everything else has hit the floor, it's smashed to bits!
但是你看 这不还有完整的茶杯茶托吗 Yes, but look! There's a whole cup and saucer, not damaged.
-根本就没成功 -真是邪门了 It didn't work. It didn't... It is most odd actually.
让我们看看慢镜头重放 说不定发现哪里做错 Can we see a replay of that, maybe work out what went wrong.
-哦 有问题 -什么? -他开的太慢了 Oh, there's the problem. What? He's doing it too slowly.
那是因为慢镜头 你个二逼 No, that's in slow motion, you idiot.
他要是没用慢镜头肯定就成功了 Well, if he hadn't have done it in slow motion, it would have worked!
-受不了了 -现在可倒好 灾难啊 绝对有爆炸性了 For crying out loud! But now look! It's a disaster. It's a bombshell.
那也就意味着我们可以结束了 And that means we can end. Yes. Mm.
谢谢你们观看 我们下周再见 Thank you ever so much for watching, we'll see you next week.
保重 晚安 Take care and good night.